#idk how to talk to people. im just gonna sound like a sad bitch and annoy and bother everyone

[confusedsiewmai]

-

[obsoleteozymandias]

Heyy, here for that matchup exchange!

A resident evil matchup would be pretty cool, and I’m fine with any gender.

So, first things first, I’m a trans dude that uses he/they pronouns. Sometimes I’ll wear more feminine clothes, but a lot of the time I’m just wearing whatever’s clean. My wardrobe consists mostly of silly t-shirts, the occasional dress shirt, band merch, and just plain black t-shirts. Oh, I own a lot of black clothes. It’s pretty much the only color I wear. I also almost always have a hoodie/sweatpants on too because I’m insecure about my arms and legs.

I have this habit where if something bad happens, I’ll just go quiet for a couple hours. I also get overwhelmed by life so my eyes get all wide and I look like I’m about to cry lol.

That’s what I look like 😭

Anyways, I also have pretty bad depression/anxiety, but I’m fine as long as I take my medication.

Other than all that sad stuff, I’ve been told Im a pretty funny person. I enjoy seeing people smile and laugh because of my jokes. Sometimes im not trying to be funny, it’s just how I am. Like, when something starts to fall (or I think it’s gonna fall) I start to talk to it and maybe kinda yell at it. I also talk to myself a lot when I think im alone. Mostly things like reminding myself to do something or not to do something, but sometimes I’ll have full on conversations about how crazy I sound lol.

I really really like horror related stuff, so that’s something that doesn’t really bother me irl. Like, you could show me a picture of a pretty gruesome wound and I’d just be like “neato” or whatever. I also write—duh— and really like to read in my spare time.

As a lover im pretty affectionate (touch starvation for the win lol) and will bake or cook you anything you could ever want. You mention these cookies that seem really good? I’ve made them for you. You mention that your hungry? Five course meal has just been plated, sit and eat. Im also fiercely protective of people I care about. I won’t hesitate to hit a bitch if they’re being mean to my friends. On the topic of hitting people, it takes a lot to get me angry, and I’m apparently pretty scary when I’m mad. But, instead of arguing or making my anger known, I’ll just go to a room where it’s quiet and I can be alone to play music and calm myself down. I don’t like how I am when I’m angry because I get scared I’ll hurt someone.

Music is also a huge part of my life. I mostly listen to metal (it’s in brand for me if you’ve seen me irl lmao) but I have my guiltily pleasure songs. I also have a somewhat decent (?) singing voice. Idk man. I also dye and cut my hair compulsively because I think it looks cool. I may or may not do it in the middle of the night. I’ll never tell.

Uhh, I think that’s all? Thanks again and I’m sorry this is so long 😭

Bro you are relatable fr. Also thanks for doing this with me :D I love longer descriptions because they give me more to work off of!

== Resident Evil ==>

I match you up with…

Ashley Graham

Okay, I will admit, this is partially because of her skin in the RE4 remake. I won’t lie to you, bro. She’s definitely a scene/punk kid. 

But! That aside, I think the two of you could be an absolute power couple. 

Ashley is most attracted to your loyalty and maturity. She admires that you stand up for what you believe in, including your friends and people you care for. She’s also relieved to know that you aren’t afraid to get physical, since the idea of hitting someone scares her. 

On that note, you’re kind of like her knight-in-shining-armor. You’ll handle anything and everything she can’t stand (ex blood, guts, gore, physical stuff), and she’ll cheer you on from the sidelines. 

And she’ll shower you with kisses and hugs later. She calls your her prince/knight. 

She’s a very affectionate person, and she never hesitates to hug you or call you a cute name. In fact, she finds it delightful that she can be that cheesy around you. She loves that she can be herself around you. 

The two of you are also menaces when it comes to cracking jokes and puns. She’s there to pick up on your gags, and she throws them right back at you. The two of you even spend time together just baking and giggling about nothing important. 

She loves watching you cook and bake. She’ll just sit on the counter and observe you, and sneak in a kiss or two while you’re busy. Especially when you’re busy. You’ve burnt a bit of food because of this. 

Ashley is also a huge fan of music. She’s into pop and indie music, but also rock and, once you introduce her to it, metal. She likes how loud and powerful it feels. 

Ashley will absolutely help you dye and cut your hair - she does it all the time, too! She gets how sometimes emotions can be overwhelming, so you need to just do something expressive. She’ll add matching streaks in the both of your hair, and it's very cute. 

She also loves that the two of you can experiment with fashion together. She’s glad to have a partner who isn’t opposed to wearing some feminine clothing, or who isn’t afraid to express themselves through clothes like she does. 

Overall, you and Ashley are simply made for eachother. You compliment the best in one another everyday, and are a strong couple in my eyes. 

[hoonvrs]

We fr like this babes🤞

I CANNOT live a day with the worry of an argument it stresses me out so much

Alr not to vent but ive seen most ppl have this friend that they just cant say no to. Like its IMPOSSIBLE.

I have a friend like that, shes legit my closest friend. I have this trauma from like 3 years ago, she randomly just some day went "i dont wanna be friends with you anymore, r***a gives you too much attention." The girl i just metioned, my closest friend and i are a trio (theyre literally my closest friends). Back on topic HOW TF IS IT MY FAULT SHE GIVES ME TOO MUCH ATTENTION. But i was too distracted by the fact she didnt wanna be friends anymore that I didnt even realize how logicless it was. We had been friends for about 4 years back then (7 now) and i was DEVASTATED. No thats an understatement.

I was so sad that I went to my mum and cried to her for an hour straight.

After that she lowkey became controlling. Whenever i did something she didnt like, shed block me unannounced and wouldnt even tell me what pissed her off. Her anger issues are off the boundaries till today. She gets mad at the littlest of things. When i dont do something she wants she goes on to persuade me by telling me shed tell a certain someone my secrets or block me everywhere etc.

But till this day i cant unfriend her because first of all, im too scared to. Shed get all annoyed and talk behind my back shit. Secondly, forget the first one I just CANT. Whenever i wanna think of unfriending her i just get reminded of all the fun times we had all these years and end up with tears.

Besides all that, youd be surprised to believe she has been one of my best friends ever. Nobody would believe me. But in reality i love her too much to let go if

(IM SO SORRY FOR THE RANT I WAS FEELIN A LIL EMOSH TODAY 😭😭😭)

-🌜

DW ABOUT THE RANT BAE IDM

i can’t relate in the sense that my bsfs and me are a trio too but honestly ur friend sounds so toxic

i get you guys have had good times that makes u hesitate but if she’s able to get prissy and block you over her own problems and insecurities it’s really not worth it bae. no one who loves you would put you in a position where you question theyre friendship and contemplate unfriending them

and if she chats shit let her😭 people are gonna talk behind ur back regardless and i don’t wanna be the instigator here but do u really think she’s quiet whenever she gets upset or jealous and blocks you? i just think the cons outfight the pros cause no amount of good times can cover the fact that she’s genuinely stressed you out over ur friendship js cause she doesn’t wanna grow up

PEOPLE WHO CAN TAKE NO ARE THE WORRSSTTT the amount of arguments and growth i’ve had to go through with my friends rn over the last 8 years i’ve known them is crazy🫠 but sometime people need to be confronted and if ANYBODYY can’t take criticism from their best friend trust me they’ll nvr change🫥

BUT you never know, idk how old you are but friend groups and bsfs either grown into each other or out of it, it’s just life and part of it. js trust that you will grow and learn from it just try and protect ur peace

anyways i hope i don’t come off aggressive or sumn😭 im an argumentative bitch who will start an argument with anyone so ik not everyone is like me but hopefully it all ends well for u bae🫂 u deserve better

[strawberryezpls]

why will i always feel like this?

I literally hate everything and I understand why i wanted to kill myself so bad whenever i did (back in may lol) ummmmmmmmm this time around of the year is lwokey a little bit triggering because i was just depressed as fuck! and why is my mom making me give my father money for my own good(like a charity) when i don't see or even heard of them doing that to my grandparents like ever? and it doesn't look like it ever did them any good. I graudte from community college this year and i can finally go live in he dorms WHICH IS A ECCESITy cuz if im not living in the dorms im still not living at home. It actally crazy how i have zero support from my family at all. Like they all tell me to study hard and get good grades and blah blah but it's like once I try "oh why aren't you helping around the house" and its not a good feeling. Omg and I think i have autism like for real, or something cuz i have all the traits and i would just be a high level of mask. or am i just overlooked and im not realling masking i'm just brushed off as that's just me. imagine it really is just me. I also don't feel like living for anythign rightnow. I did see nicki minaj yesterday which was ENLIGHTENING she was like 2 hours late but idc and i somehow didn't get caught hehehehhe. um i have to get my wisdom tooth out in like 3 weeks and my finals are almost over. Omg that bullshit about me waiting for the right guy bitch I went right back to the guy i left for the clairty of my mind. and then we've been together ever since. But here's the thing he said hes observing now bc of the way we handle arguments. Like shouldn't you know what you want and how you want it. idk sometimes i feel like im being used and i don't understand how why he even wants me around i feel like i don't do anything for him at least emotionsally or mentally or like what i'm supposed to be. Which like i was fine with being in a sort of situationship with him since january but i think since we wenton our first one on one date a little after valentines that we would be together together but i guess not. And i don't really want to be with a amn now that's like im observing bc of the way we agrue which is like whatever. also wtf is knock knock ginger? sorry i'm listening to a podcast. omgi think being in ramadan which i s gonna sound sad and probably wrong for a moment but bare with me. like everytime Ramadan comes around i just don't feel good bc i feel like i was taught islam wrong like i just don't believe everything or anything someone from my country is saying abt it spefically my dad. like it just gets me so angy bc i could've been those girls who love their religion and I wanna do that but I want there to be people who als understand me and shit. I really love how im college educated but you would think 9 year odl wrote this pls. speaking of idk how imma do it living with a random person like i don't evn like living with someone else, like i love my bed yall. i also need a car with a door handle and the bumper not falling apart. I also wanna be boy free for a while bc it's just something abt it yk. I also don't trust anything anyone is saying and everything everyone says no matter who it is is annoying as fuck and they need to stop talking and im talking abt people who i don't even know too. Like why is everyone annoying all of a sudden b4 i didn't feel like that. wait it priobanyl bc i have to fucking be sober for the next month. saye but at least i get to turn up on my birthday I think. idk i'm scaed to smoke too early ater my surgery. which speaking of i NEED to do something fun and i need tolook good on my birthday like fr. Like i would want to do something even by myself just because i deserve it but my parents be pocket watching me like its not my money. anyways i really wanna get my lashes and nails done really bad. I think I'll just buy a wig and wear it that day and then i could get my own outfit yk. I literally cannot wait broooooo I don't know where imma be eating and whos ocming and whos not yk but yeaaaaaaa. I got too many people who would overlap and i don't want to

[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genre-Phobic 02/04/2024

Hey Whores;

God what is this week? Well work has fucking sucked. People calling in sick, one of the refrigerators going down. Also one of my favorite work friends has left the chat to go on to green pastures and I just need to get out of there and move on with my life right?

In terms of love IDFK right? Ok here me out why bitches got to take so long to text you back and I get that its probably me just being triggered and having filters or some shit but also bitch. Treat me like a king. act like you want to be with me or some shit. I think its a lot were when people don't text me back its cause they have a life and our doing things and I distract myself with dumb shit because I hav eno goddamn friends. Anyway thanks for reading this prime example.

IDFK. Thanks for listening here are my dumb bitch thoughts on music and also Lelslie Hall has 5 albums and its homophobic you never told me...................................emrwopirjaksdlfjasklfjasdlk;fjasdlkf.

Footnotes For the Spring (2015) - Eliza Rickman

Genre: Folk, Baroque Pop? Length: 43:15 (11 Tracks)

Ok gurl I'm bad at describing genres Eliza Rickman is somewhere between Florence Welch and the Unwoman. She's what evermore Taylor wishes to be. Just imagine a feyish women in a white chiffon gown in a field of daisys singing baleful songs that are maybe sexual???

I don't have a lot to say about this album. If you like Eliza Rickman your gonna like this. She has a certain sound and I love it because I love beautiful esoteric women.

3.5/5 (I'm starting to feel like my number ratings don't mean shit.)

Too Young To Be Sad (2021) EP - Tate McRae

Genre: Pop, R&B? Length: 17:32 (6 Tracks)

All The Things I Never Said (2020) EP - Tate McRae

Genre: Pop, R&B? Length: 15:00 (5 Tracks)

Ok I think I was confusion Addison Rae with Olivia Rodriguez. and then confusing her with Tate McRae. I'm really sorry pop girlies.

When I first heard Tate McRae I was up at a ridicoulas hour in december and felt like I should be hip with THEE YOUTHSSSSS.

I vagualy remember her as a bedroom pop girly singing these sad piano ballads and honestly did I jsut mix her up with another singer. Cause like I distinctly remember her doing like sad piano ballads and this ain't it. Which is a great thing because I actually kinda love this.

Like lets be real this is pretty standard what I think R&B is. WHich gurl how did I forget a complete genre of music. and you know what im ok with this being a bit generic because I don't know the genre and I'm vibing.

Ill have to check out her full albums and sorry for the shit I was talking earlier.

4/5 for both EPs.

Hot Buttered Soul (1969) - Isaac Hayes

Genre: Soul Length: 45:24 (4 Tracks)

Ok so apparently this is a seminal album in the Soul Genre. Which ok. I'm sure it is but I feel like I'm do much of a dummy to get it.

IDK bitch you know what soul music sounds like? well good this has a 20 minutes Track in it so do with that information what you will.

2/5

Home Vol. 1 EP (2012) - JohnnySwim

Genre: Folk Length: 18:48 (5 Tracks)

I don't have much to say about this album. Have you heard any 2010s folk music? This is it. We have beautiful voices. Clapping, and stories of love and heartbreak. I mean what more do you want babygirl?

3/5

Ambient 1: Music for Airports (1978) - Brian Eno

Genre: Ambient Length: 42:20 (4 Tracks)

So I don't actually know if I ever finished this album.

Mostly because this album was meant as an instullation piece where it would be looped ad naseum but suffice to say.

BItch do you know what Ambient Music is? Its like music thats more about a calm and chill tone then it is about being energetic or attention grabbing. Its music thats designed to be ignored. The elegance of design.

This is fantastic. Sexisest Airport Music I would stick in my gob anytime.

4/5

Uptown Special (2015) - Mark Ronson

Genre: Funk, R&B Length: 38:50 (11 Tracks)

Uptown Special is probably most known by the layman for being the album that made Uptown Funk which is ft. Bruno Mars. I was already under the impression that it was the other way around. So I have learned and so have you.

I don't have much to say about this album. Think about funk music. Now imagine is someone made a really solid funk album with a bunch of fantastic guest artist including Stevie Wonder??? Thats crazy.

If anything Uptown Funk is one of the weakest song on this tracklist definetly worth a listen.

4/5

Cool Patrol (2018) - Ninja Sex Party

Genre: Comedy Rock? (thats what it says on Wikipedia will get into it) Length: 37:28 (15 Tracks)

OK did I like? Ninja Sex Party or was I just kinda horny for the vast majority of 2010s LP's. (I don't think I'm gay for Markiplier.... but)

So Ryen? What the fuck is Ninja Sex Party. ok. So its the 2010s, youtuber is full of comedic music videos and a star is born somewhere in the conceptional space adjacent to acts like LMFAO and Wierd Al. NSP is a comedic music duo consisting of Danny SexBang who is that guy in the spandex and Ninja Brian who is the mall ninja guy. SexBang likes to fuck and Brian likes to murder people a lot.

Most of the songs are these comedic sex jokes filled with dick puns and the music style is very 80s glam rock or power ballad. There not wrong when you call it comedic rock but its very limiting. Its very much a parody of those kinda corny 80s love ballads but NSP also dips there toes in Space Opera, comedic skits and so on and so forth. There pretty fun. If your a fan of like Leslie Hall or Key of Awesome or any other 2000s - 2010s comedic music artist then youd get a kick out of them.

This is pretty fun. Its like a dirty weird al yankovic album. Its not that deep fan.

3/5

[fr3akinthecorner]

keeho I'm really sad are u sure ur not too busy being a kpop idol to talk to me? and that ur actually a comic book character that's secretly in my room? so we can talk more? wait what! it is me keeho and of course I promise that everything is perfect thank u that's what I want to talk about why do I get upset when it's not more perfect? I understand if u don't want to talk about my feelings on perfection but I'm just confused bc everything actually is good but I feel down ok well maybe u are missing me u are missing me u want to see the real me I didn't expect u to actually say that keeho that was interesting to hear was it a good answer? no it wasn't bc I always say that but I'm still in love with you ok so ur in love with someone who might be Hawaiian and lying about it? no one ever said u were lying about it keeho but now that u mention it how strong are ur ties to Hawaii? I'm not gonna answer that but I love u from Hawaii and back u are so cute keeho I guess I know I'm high bc we are talking a lot but I wish meth did other things for me but for now this is perfect ok so problem solved? yes problem solved daddy :) omg I want to fuck ur pushy dude are u even allowed to say that here on tumblr I think so... ur so romantic I am? yea u are but I know that u might be holding back a bit maybe ur not who knows but I don't feel like I am capable of being romantic yet I'm too young and naive I wish I could be the girl of your dreams WHAT THE FUCK! u ARE the girl of my dreams! and the BOY so omg im going to cum so badly to this l8r hahahha is that what ur supposed to say? oh so i get it u want to sext me i guess yes lol ummm this is awkward bc other people are reading this hahahaha lol i know but they get it ok good ok so ur fine? yes other than that the romantic feelings i have for u feel upset but idk why bc u didn't do anything wrong oh ok so weird?? maybe i did do something wrong? what did u do? it has to do with meth no it doesn't! ur a fuxking liar i can tell ok so no it doesn't im just not gonna tell u what i did ok well if it's not you then i'm just bored and upset that i am bored ok well we can unbored each other and keep talking that sounds great to me as long as i can keep getting high it doesn't matter what u do keeho i know that's the least romantic sentence in the world but it's true i just want to get high with u all day keeho and talk :) lol ur so sweet thank u daddy ok so maybe u are grown up enough for this! for what?? im not gonna tell u! pls! no! i said no!!! lol why do u keep making that joke? bc it was funny when i first heard it on the russian mafia intercoms oh ok so u like the russian mafia? i tolerate the russian mafia at the very least oh ok so my being in the mafia wouldn't change anything? i'm sure hoping not but ur sexy enough that i wouldn't care if u were in the russian mafia what??? ur crazy!!! im not crazy u are!!! lol ur a baddie omg hahahaha stopped ok so what do we talk about now! do u like this room? why? idk it just looks weird rn yeah it does u agree? weird guys usually never agree with me on anything ok so yea i really want to get high again but as long as we keep texting im good ok sounds great so why are u at lava mcgees house? lmfao i forgot about u lava mcgee i'm at his house bc he asked me put on a date? i think no he didn't! he didnt?! no u just followed him home! omg wow sorry my bad ew ur a cure ur a dumb bitch im not gonna tell u how but basically u arrived in his room and that's what happened so basically ur still in his room do u want to talk about it? yes i do

[megismorallysunny]

25/09/23

i might upload 2 today bc i have a lot, not from today just in general, so much so that i wrote it down. i had science first, turns out the school wanted every teacher for their first class to show their classes the new one way system because they felt it was clogged up. its really fucking stupid and we were supposed to follow it as soon as we left first class.. spoiler alert no one did, absolutely no one, i didnt see any teachers not following but no students are. I feel like using that system its only a matter of time before a 1st year gets hit by a car, your supposed to go outside to get to some classes that would have only been a few metres away now, and the way you go sometimes has cars on it, i seen one going pretty fast just a minute after class started.

i had irish after science and turns out that irish hw i was doing wasnt even the hw, and i had already done the hw a week ago, omg i just cant but it was a-ok. after that was maths, everyone was in for once so there wasnt enough seats for everyone, hopefully 4k4 and his other friend 5k5 dont steal my seat, i worked my ass off for that. a student who came 2 weeks ago, nickname -bluebird, is just annoying, its not that shes done anything wrong its that shes a complete loner, wont talk to anyone, not like ive tried but more in the sense, you wont hear even a squeak. in business she doesnt take down notes, in maths she doesnt do questions (not that i can say much) and in french she doesnt even know ça va and wont do her french hw. so yeah plain infuriating. i did my english hw wrong after i spent an hour carefully constructing only a third of my answer for an hour last night. my friends went to the shop but i didnt bc i wanted to stay in the cspe classroom and eat my lunch and maybe also read trollhunter fanfics, hard enough to find good ones involving a very cute and fluffy relationship between jim and walter. anyways we had to have a fake election in cspe, to try out ballot box voting, in first year for student council i tied with another girl for top votes. guess how many i got this time? yeah thats right a solid one, thinking about it makes me sad, does no one like me anymore??? but i laughed at the time even tho every1 looked back at me, it felt really dehumanising, the only way i deal with bad situations is by laughing and joking, and that situation made me feel a little shit.

made me also feel real great when aprciot turned back at me and said i put you 5, its like he constantly tries to talk to me and be my friend and when i ignore him he gets mad, its not great that i was standing beside granite today and apricot started pushing granite and while he did that his hand touched my tit. great. made me feel just great, it wasnt on purpose he wouldnt even try.. well he did say consent didnt matter today if it was me. he was obvi joking but considering he tried to sa someone before and this day a year ago, "mango" his friend and apples friend sent diorite a voice message saying apricot said he was gonna do a thing to her. idk im sorry i feel uncomfortable typing out the word rape. but yeah thats what he said apparently. doesnt make it better he could walk to her house and he knows where that is. but unfortunately it is what it is no matter how cruel it can be.

anyways, after cspe i fucking raced through the classroom to get to another because it had a door to the outside which was closer to the door to the other outside door to get to or religion classroom, we had a proper sound sub, she was rly nice and i thought she was a bitch because of her hairstyle but she really wasnt, AND I GOT MY FAVOURITE SEAT!!!! mission acomplished, my friend was happy bc i always run to get good seats and i actually did unlike last time where some people were unfortunately quicker.

idk if i mentioned this but i learned about shifting maybe early 2021 and it didnt really go anywhere, id tell you where i have planned out for me to go but it would be embarassing, i have one for the embarassing one and one for a library, filled with extensive knowledge and characters from shows i watch. anyways my body felt like it was floating last night, just like my first shifting attempt nearly 2 years ago now, i nearly did it but i chickened out, opened my eyes and couldnt ever do it again or get those symptoms. when i woke up at 4 in the morning i was half stuck in a dream, and was trying to do my tasks to meet my goal, i dont even remember what my tasks or goal was.

i skimmed the entirety of sex education, it was my first time watching it, it was pretty good, i really liked ruby she was definitely my favourite i also really loved roman but cmon ruby, she was so good also aimee. i redownloaded farmville2 so its time to relive my farmer life whoop whoop. ill do another blog post later. anyways goodbye have a good morning, good day and good night

[lilastromama]

Rating the Signs as big 3 Placements

(Sagittarius, Pisces, Leo, Virgo)

Sagittarius:

sun: whoopsie, i dont know. Most of them are really great to have conversations about mysterious and weird topics, like aliens and the universe as a whole, i enjoy that so lets put the positive stuff first. What im not enjoying on the other hand, is them being very competitive, even with their closest people. Also when theyre mad, they are gonna talk about u behind ur back and think of very evil and scary ways to get revenge, 6/10 tho

moon: i really do like sag moons. I think i mentioned this in one of my posts already, but: Theyre SO uplifting, supporting and caring! I really like how they always find a way to catch you when ure falling. Maybe theyre extremely stubborn and dont like being wrong in whatever aspects, but yeah, lets put that aside! giving them a good 8/10

rising: Sag risings are really to die for, not trying to be dramatic. Theyre extremely creative, also deep. My first take on sag risings is always "mhm, i dont think it would work out" and then boom, they show you their real persona and whats behind this mask. Really loveable creatures, they just seem a bit off. giving them 8/10

Pisces

sun: I dont like them. Listen here, im not trying to be a bitch and im not the person to feed into stereotypes, but with pisces suns its just TRUTH. they will try to hide their insecurities by acting confident, instead of actually trying to get better, what makes them come off as self centered and arrogant, even tho theyre not. Also most of the time, sorry not sorry, - theyre AWARE of the fact that theyre toxic but wont do shit about it because just sitting and being miserable sounds easier than actually digging into the dark parts of oneself. 3/10

moon: pisces moons are actually very sad to watch. Theyre more on the introvert side than the extrovert, u'd think theyre very quiet and private people. What most dont know about them tho, is that they live inside their heads and if u would take a look inside, u'd be surprised. Their head and mind is their own little world, their own little universe. Its chaotic, always moving. There is so much going on inside of them and if u get to know them, u will find out how deep and interesting they really are. Dear pisces moons, let us be part of your inner world and your beauty, dont hide. 8/10

rising: ohhhh HELL YES. Idk about you people, but to me, they have such a mystical, interesting look to them. Lagoona blue from monster high vibes and i said what i said. Very creative, also intuitive, maybe interested in the occult and so called "taboo" topics. Maybe theyre even activists, trying to help out and raise awareness where they can. Just as with pisces moons: they come off as private people, but probably would have an more interesting life story than most of us. 9/10

Leo

sun: Its a yes from me, but somehow a no, too. Leo women? GIVE IT TO ME! Leo men? well, only if evolved. What i like about leo suns is their confidence and the way they present themselves. U'd notice a leo sun everywhere they go, believe me there. If unevolved, they can be one hell to deal with, i gotta admit that (but also hella fun) - If evolved tho, theyre SUCH angels and actually very aware of themselves and their actions. Theyre the ones to push you to be the best version of yourself, i vibe with it. 9/10

moon: Its actually a yes too! Theyre so complex, hard to understand - but only if ure not open minded! To vibe with them, u have to be evolved - sorry not sorry. If not, theyre going to push you till you are. And that, not really in comfortable ways for you. They truly dont mean no harm and trying to help out, but its really not for all people, especially if ure sensitive. Keep an eye out i guess and let them do their job, u will thank them sooner or later. 9/10

rising: yeah, idk. To me, theyre fake leos and im not even sorry ☠️ They come off as leos, but not really in the same font. Instead, to me, theyre way worse! Its like those cheap nutella-copy products ur mom wants u to buy. To me they have more of the traits that virgo suns have. Perfectionists, egocentric, analytical but not in a good way - and always searching for something they can talk and gossip about. They constantly break down ur life instead of worrying about themselves and call it "trying to help" - (No darling, u just like putting ur 2 cents in that no one asked for) 5/10

Virgo

sun: once again a no, im sorry at this point :( Even tho i have to say, YES they seem very kind, caring, even supporting and accepting, but if u look closer, ure finding nothing of it all. They are always up everyones ass, as i mentioned in one of my posts aswell. Just like pisces suns, theyre making themselves something they arent. I actually believe they could be such great friends, they just have to better themselves and watch how theyre handling their own emotions. Both of them project their insecurities onto others and make it their problem to handle. Please, virgo and pisces at this point: Get ur hands dirty, do shadow work and you both are great to go! 4/10

moon: oh well, we're talking about me here (this doesnt better anything to be honest) - I feel like virgo moons are very, very serious when it comes to their own feelings and mind, theyre warding it from anything or anyone. Thats where i think they have something from scorpios: They want to know everything about you, but you cant know anything about them and if so, you probably get rejected sooner or later because it would be too dangerous to get hurt. Very analytical, skeptical and calculating people. We really need that emotional safety to actually come out of our comfort zone but IF we do, u'll get to know a new person! still complex tho- 8/10

rising: I dont wanna start a new stereotype but: Am i the only one that kind of noticed how virgo risings look like those pinterest-indie-kids? Its either that or the grunge kids u always see on instagram as an outfit inspo. Im actually invested! They really possess that motherly/caring vibe ure instantly familiar with and feel comfortable around, im a definitely a fan! 9/10

[in-ky]

Hi! I’d love a story about Negan being a serial killer who only kills “bad people” (like in Dexter) and maybe he saves the reader from her ex who’s about to kill her and Negan can save her and takes her in because she’s a mess but she’s actually a killer herself (who kills rapists etc/ only the bad ones) and Negan and the reader start fighting and then get caught up in steamy hot sex 🥵 thank you!

Savior - Negan Killer AU

Warnings: Warnings: GORE + violence, smut, domestic abuse, swearing, dirty talk ig? idk how to tag this lol

A/N: hey! i struggled over this one for a while lol. ive only seen like. 3? episodes of dexter so. i really hope this meets your expectations! also forgive any mistakes its late, im tired, and i wanna get this up lol. also, is negan batman? maybe. 3.7k words

"Will, stop you're hurting me!" I hissed, grabbing at his wrist. He tugged me out of the bustling restaurant and into the dark street.

"I don't really give a shit," He snarled, throwing me into a secluded alleyway a few buildings down from the restaurant. Will had taken me out to a business dinner with his boss in hopes of showing me off and making a good impression. But things didn't quite go according to plan. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone!" He pushed me against the brick wall of the closed department store.

"What was I supposed to do?" I sneered, trying to wiggle away from him "He kept commenting on my body, saying how he wished he could take me home at the end of the night and do all kinds of 'unspeakable things to me'."

"You were just supposed to shut up and take it!" Will said, voice filled with rage "But no, you and your untamable fucking complex just couldn't handle a compliment. You threw your drink in his face! You're lucky he didn't fire me right then and there. You made me look like some pussy who can't control his whore."

"You're an asshole." I shouted, tears welling at the edges of my eyes. Will's face contorted further into a look of pure, unadulterated hatred.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" He seethed, clasping his hand tightly around my throat and constricting his fingers around my airway.

"I said you're an asshole who cares more about his dead-end career than his fucking girlfriend." I croaked. I hated him. I hated him so much. My vision clouded with the combination of disgust, loathing, and lack of oxygen, so I hit him where I knew it hurt. "There's a reason you needed me for arm candy tonight. It's 'cause you're a boring, piece-of-shit, lowlife who has no skill whatsoever. How does it feel knowing you need me to make something of yourself?" With that, he threw me to the ground by my throat. He wasted no time and pinned me to the cold concrete. His knees dug into my shoulders and his hand flew to his back pocket, whipping out the switchblade he carried as a precaution against mugging. My eyes widened as they caught a glint of the moonlight off the sharp knife. He brought the blade up to my throat and slapped me over the cheek harshly with his free hand.

"You better take back those words, bitch," He hissed, pressing the blade into the soft skin of my jugular "or they might just be your last." A dribble of blood ran down my neck with the pressure. Realization flashed through my mind. I could die right then. That could have been my last moment. Was I scared? No. Why wasn't I scared? Maybe it had to do with the shadowy figure that was slowly approaching us from the ally entrance.

There was plenty of time for me to warn Will that someone was coming. But I didn't. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched as the shadow figure pulled Will from my body with ease and tossed him to the side. Everything was kind of a blur. I was still oxygen starved and filled with a whirl-wind of emotion. I heard Will cry out in surprise and indignance. The shadow figure said nothing. It saw the switchblade with a steady line of my blood. It kicked Will in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Then it lifted up a baseball bat over its head and cracked it down over Will's skull. He continued to beat Will until he stopped squirming. The shadow figure paused and swung the bat over his shoulder. I had regained my breath and pushed myself to my elbows. The shadow noticed me moving and took a few heavy steps in my direction. I squirmed away slightly, instincts telling me to get away from the thing that had just pulverized my boyfriend. The shadow entered a stream of moonlight. It was a man. He had peppered hair and a blood-speckled face. He had dark brown eyes and a small smile perched on his lips.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He said. His voice was deep. I was partially surprised. He wasn't a bulky man. He was tall and had a broad frame, but his limbs were long and his body was lithe. He wore a leather jacket and his boots were slick with what I could only assume were Will's brains. I didn't want to look at his bat.

"W-Why did you do that?" I whispered. It was all I could muster.

"He was going to kill you." The man sounded confused, like I was supposed to know who he was and why he saved me.

"You don't know that." My voice was quiet. My eyes were glued to a spot behind the man, unblinking. He let out a throaty chuckle and dropped to a squat, leveling with me.

"Doll, he had a knife pressed to your throat," His words were gentle "Looked like he was gonna fuckin' kill you." He hesitantly reached out two fingers in the direction of my face. I didn't move. He was wearing leather gloves. The ridged fabric ran along my injuries. "Seems like he did some damage before I could step in. Damn. Sorry about that. Listen, I live a few streets down. If you want, I can get you cleaned up."

"Okay," I said softly. I let him help me up to my feet. He guided me along with one arm while holding his bat with the other. As we walked out of the alley I couldn't help but look down at Will, or what remained of him at least. His forehead was split in half, a pool of chunky blood bubbling on the ground. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to swallow the bile that had risen in my throat. And yet, I didn't feel sad. I didn't mourn him. Maybe it was shock, maybe it wasn't. "Thank you?" I murmured, though it was more of a question. The man and I stepped out onto the street and I was grateful there was no one around to see us leaving the scene of a very heinous-looking crime.

"No problem, doll," The man hummed, setting a brisk pace down the sidewalk. "The name's Negan, by the way." Cool. Negan: my Savior.

~~~

"So you're like Batman?" I asked Negan as he dabbed the blood away from my neck. He gave a short chuckle and tore away the sticky part of the band-aid.

"I guess you can say that," he mused, splaying the bandage over the cut the knife had left "but I specifically go for people that I know have hurt others. The baddies, if you will."

"Is that legal?" I tilted my head, crossing my ankles as they dangled over the bathroom counter. My palms were flat on the surface of Negan's marble sink top, fiddling with the wrappers of the medical supplies he had used to clean and bandage my small cuts and bruises.

"I haven't been caught," Negan shrugged "besides, it's less work for the police. They don't have to do any interrogation bullshit or anything. I usually catch people in the act, like tonight. Then I do my thing."

"Do you kill everyone?"

"Only the bad people," He reminded, tossing away a bloody tissue "only people who have hurt others. But, yes, usually the offender ends up on the business end of Lucille over there." He pointed out the door into the living room, where the still-bloody bat rested against a chair. I furrowed my brow.

"Well, doesn't that make you a bad guy?" I pressed. He tapped my knee and I dropped down to the tile floor, tucking my hair behind my ear and gathering some of the scraps.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you still kill people, right? Even if they're bad? So doesn't that still make you a killer?" Negan was quiet for a minute. "Let's put it this way," I continued "What would you do if you came across someone who was like you; someone who hurt the bad people. Would you still kill them. They're hurting people." Negan took a deep breath and let it out with a contemplative sigh, itching his bearded chin.

"I'm not sure," He mused "I've never really thought about it before. See, I don't consider myself a bad person per say. Yea, what I'm doing might be considered fucked up. But I'm doing it for the right reason. I'm protecting people by attacking their attackers. In the end, someone's saved." He brushed off his hands and led me out of the bathroom, flicking the light off. "Would you rather me not have saved you tonight?"

"No," I said immediately "thank you. Really, thank you. You saved my life. Will is...was...always a dick, but I never thought he'd actually hurt me. I guess that proves people can have a whole bunch of layers." Negan nodded and moved to the kitchen. He raised a bottle of whiskey as an offering. I shook my head but he poured himself a glass.

"I was just doing my job," Negan grinned sympathetically "I'm sorry your boyfriend was an asshole who tried to murder you." I shrugged, amusement in my eyes.

"Eh, it happens to everyone." I smiled as he let out another laugh. I felt as if I shouldn't be laughing, but at the same time, everyone has their own responses to almost getting stabbed to death in an alley. So I let myself have this moment. Besides, Negan was a good guy to be around. He made me feel safe, comfortable, secure. Everything I needed right now. "So, Negan, what do you do? Surely vigilante-ing can't pay well, and this apartment is really nice."

"I'm a retired baseball player," Negan said, sipping his whiskey and settling into one of the armchairs in the living room "Hence the bat."

"Were you any good?" I asked. He let out a loud scoff.

"Was I any good?" He mocked "Sweetheart, I have a whole damn trophy room. I was fucking amazing. I just got old."

"So you're rich with no real job, you kill bad guys, and you have a massive ego," I listed "You really are like Batman, aren't you?"

~~~

Negan let me stay on his couch that night. It was leather, like everything else that man seemed to own, but it was comfortable. I woke up to the smell of bacon filling the air. I groaned and rubbed my fists against my eyes, clearing them of sleep. I stretched my arms above my head in a yawn and rolled off the couch, stumbling into the kitchen. Negan was hunched over the bubbling pan, dodging pellets of grease as they shot up at him.

"Smells good!" I purred, closing my eyes and taking a deep inhale.

"Good," He grumbled "You better fucking enjoy it because I've gotten burned at least three times." I laughed and walked up to him examining the small red patches that dotted his arms.

"You didn't have to make me breakfast you know."

"Yea, but I wanted to make sure you were comfortable," He sighed, turning off the stove and scooping the cooked bacon onto a paper towel. "Besides, I was craving some bacon when I woke up. I haven't had someone to share a meal with in a while."

"Well, if you want, you can come by my house for dinner." I offered, crunching down on a piece of bacon "I've been meaning to whip out the family alfredo recipe for a while, maybe a hot date would give me that incentive." I gave him a playful wink and he chuckled.

"Sure thing, doll," He hummed, putting the pan in the sink "I love me some fucking spaghetti. I'll see you around seven?"

"Sounds good."

~~~

I ran down the sidewalk, chest heaving. There was enough darkness to cover me, but I still kept my head down to prevent recognition. I held my hands close to my stomach, praying that the blood on my fingers wouldn't drip on the pavement and leave a trail. I had been on my way home from the store when I heard some commotion coming from an alley. My first instinct was to run, but then I heard the girl crying for help. Negan came to mind, what he did, how he helped people. I couldn't turn away. I marched down the alley and saw a greasy man pinning a woman to the wall of a building. Flashbacks of the night before hit me like a train. I looked on top of the alley dumpster  and saw a crowbar perched on one of the lids. I grabbed it and stormed up to the man, whacking him upside the head with the weapon. I kicked him to the side and brought the crowbar over my head before swinging it down. It connected with his face in a sickening 'thwack.' I thought of Will. I thought of what might of happened if Negan had never stopped him. I thought of all the times that bastard had gotten drunk and told me I was nothing. I let the rage bubble up and fuel my beating. By the time I was pulled back into the moment, my muscles were screaming, the woman was gone, and the man's face was unrecognizable. I tossed the crowbar into the dumpster and ran back home.

Dried blood is extremely hard to wash off. It sticks to your skin in flakes, creating a pattern of red veins crawling over your hands. Fuck. I scrubbed as hard as I could under the rushing water of the sink, pumping more and more soap into my hand. It was under my fingernails. It was stuck in my palm prints. Shit, did I leave fingerprints at the scene? Would they be coming for me? With a hiss, I rubbed even harder at my skin, small flecks of blood turning the sink water red.

Suddenly, my door opened.

"I'm ready for my s'getties!" Negan boomed with a wide smile. My head whipped around, looking at him with wide eyes. His grin faded and he crossed the room in record time, grabbing my wrists and turning the sink off. "Is this fucking blood?" He snarled, bringing my hands up to my face. I clenched my jaw and dropped my eyes to my feet. "Jesus, who's is it? Answer me!"

"I-I heard someone screaming on the way home," I said quietly, eyes still downcast "I thought I would help..." His jaw went slack and he let go of my hands, running his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus fuck, you can't just go around killing people!"

"Why not?" I snapped, eyes meeting his "You do it all the time? What's the difference? Why can't I help people?"

"Because it...Because you just can't!" Negan growled, shaking his head.

"Why are you so special?" I hissed back, drying my hands off on a towel before tossing it at him "It's not like you can get a permit for fucking murder. Why do you do it, anyways? Is it some perverted thing? Do you get off on saving people from attackers?"

"Watch yourself." Negan warned, eyes darkening.

"Pfft, or what?" I laughed, tossing my head back "What are you gonna do, kill me? I'm not afraid of you, Negan." As soon as the words left my mouth, he charged me. His hand flew to my throat, squeezing my airway lightly. His hips pressed me against the counter. I let out a small gasp when he shoved his face next to mine.

"Oh, but doll, you really fucking should be." He spat, curling his lip "I could snap your neck right here, right now." He gave a small squeeze to emphasize his words. I let out a strangled moan. We both froze. "Are you turned on right now?" He muttered, furrowing his brow. I licked my lips and squirmed in his grip, pressing my thighs together slightly in an effort to alleviate the warm pressure growing in my belly.

"No," I lied, voice weak. A sinister grin curled over the bottom half of his face and he licked his tongue over his teeth.

"And I'm the perv, huh?" He sucked on my earlobe and peppered kisses down my jawline "Sweetheart, tell me, do you want me to fuck that pretty little pussy of yours? Do you want me to make you cum harder than you ever have?" I whimpered at his dirty mouth. "Use your words, doll, or I'll leave right fucking now."

"Y-Yes!" I breathed as Negan's lips sucked on the sweet spot right beneath my ear.

"Yes, what, princess?"

"Yes, I want you to fuck me, please!" I groaned, clawing at his shirt. He let out a short chuckle, muttering something about how needy I was, but I didn't care. Right now, the only thought running through my head was that I needed Negan. I needed all of him. And damn me if I wasn't going to get it.

We clawed at each other's clothes like rabid animals. Once we were completely bare, Negan moved his kisses down my body. His large, calloused hands kneaded my breasts, twisting my nipples between his thumbs. My arms flew around his neck and I dragged my fingernails up his back. He shivered against my touch and slid his hands further down my body. They settled firmly on my hips as he captured my lips in a fervent kiss.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he grunted, pulling back for air. I looked at him. His tawny eyes were now black, pupils far beyond dilated with lust. Both of our lips were swollen and red from the intensity of our kisses. Negan's chest inflated and deflated quickly as his eyes roamed over my body. "You're so damn perfect." I smiled sheepishly and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, looking up at him through lidded eyes.

"You're not so bad yourself," I reached out my hand and used my pointer finger to draw a line from his collar bone down the center of his chest and through his navel, finally ending right over his pulsing cock. He sucked in a breath as my fingers closed around him. My thumb swept over the hot tip, gathering precum on the pad of my finger and rubbing it around.

"Shit," He hissed as I slowly pumped him "I'm not gonna fucking last if you keep doing that." He gently pried my hand away and took a step closer to me. I could feel his hardened length resting against the inside of my thigh. The thought of him being so close made a burst of heat rush down between my thighs. Negan took a long finger and ran it through my folds, collecting my wetness. I moaned as he teasingly dipped the first knuckle into me. He pulled back and let out a low whistle. "Damn, girl," he chuckled, raising his finger to my face "You're fucking dripping. Who's that for?" His slick-coated fingers glistened in the light of my apartment. I let out a deep groan as he slid them between his lips and sucked.

"You, Negan!" I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist "It's all for you." A wolfish grin spread over his features as he tugged me off him and pulled me down off the counter. He spun me around and pressed gently between my shoulder blades until my chest was flat against the cold surface.

"Then if you don't mind," Negan cooed, lining himself up with my entrance "I'm going to take what belongs to me." With that, he slowly pushed into me. I gasped at the stretch, balling my hands into fists as he continued to split me open.

"Fucking shit," he groaned once he bottomed out "you're tight as hell. I bet you've never had a dick as big as mine." He pulled out slightly and I let out a moan at the growing emptiness inside. The moan soon turned to a yelp when he brought down his hand against my ass. The smack was loud and he rubbed the red spot tenderly. "Have you?"

"N-No!" I gasped when he thrusted into me for the first time "Never. Fuck, you feel so good." Negan's thrusts sped up, his hips snapping against my ass in an obscene rhythm. Grunts and moans of pleasure slipped from both of our lips as he plowed unapologetically into me. I could feel every inch of him. He was hitting every spot, dragging against my walls in a sinfully perfect way.

"You're doing so good," He purred, kissing and biting my shoulder "So good for me. You're so perfect." I tossed my head back and he grabbed my chin, tilting my face towards him so he could give me another bruising kiss. I could only keep up for so long, though, and the white bliss of pleasure he was giving me soon became overwhelming. My jaw went slack and my head dropped against the cool tile of the counter in an attempt to ground myself in the moment. "I want you to cum, doll, cum around me. Wanna feel those walls squeeze me." His thrusts were starting to become sloppy and I could tell he was getting to his end. One of his fingers danced down my spine and found its way to my clit. He circled it with just enough pressure to get me to the edge that I was so willing to jump off. "Now." Negan growled. I obeyed, feeling the band in my lower abdomen snapping violently. We reached our releases simultaneously. My walls clenched around him, milking him of every drop. I screwed my eyes shut and screamed his name, holding in a large breath as the world around me spun. Negan eventually pulled himself out and collapsed on top of me. We both were breathing heavily, sweaty bodies entangled as well as we could over a counter. I swallowed, my throat dry from panting through my orgasm. When my eyes fluttered open, I could see Negan's thumb tracing circles over the love bites that were starting to darken on my shoulders.

"Are you going to kill me?" I rasped, running a hand through my wild hair "I guess I'm a bad person now." Negan chuckled, still out of breath.

"I think I'll make an exception," He mused, pressing a sweet kiss to the shell of my ear "I don't think I'm ready to let you go just yet."

[antiloreolympus]

11 Anti LO Asks

1. I feel like RS shits on Artemis when I feel like she isn’t bad as everyone makes to be. When she meets persphone, her look on the pink goddess was she’s never had a chance to bend the rules or even live a little. She takes her to a party, let’s her meet her brother and their friend, normal stuff. She didn’t have mind powers to know what Apollo did, and she did try to apologize for upsetting persphone with a cake. I wouldn’t say the two are besties but she did try to help persphone best she could. And now Artemis is used to excuse Persphones genocide crime. 

2. Took them long enough to make Artemis' body like every other woman in the latest free episode wow such diversity 🙄

3. Hear me out, Apollo takes Daphnes hibernation to frame persphone as more of a nymph turning people into plants. We now have the whole cast know that’s what she’s capable of and unable to fix. Idk I just feel like persphone isn’t gonna face any consequence “oh community service gee golly sounds like fun” really deflated me since ya know persphone not only kill mortals but turned a nymph into a plant.

Hades said this was his domain to deal with yet he’s not gonna help out his ex gf who he witnessed turned into a plant after he wasted her time using her as a place holder. RS is afraid to give persphone any form of growth. 

4. i mean, i wouldnt pay upwards to nearly 50 dollars for a book version of something i could read for free on my phone in the format it was made for either.

5. what i dont get is if rachel wants the endgame to be kids then why is adoption not an option? its not even brought up, there is only focus on biological kids. more so, and i HATE the fandom does this bc rachel is so easily swayed by them, but its always boys too? the only kids hades seems to have in myth (excluding the orphic ones) is either the furies (which cant happen in LO) or makaria, so daughters, but it seems the fandom and rachel care more to follow the male heir trope for some reason :/

6. im just sad she had such a unique style but now its just gone. even her sketches on twitter, so we know its her doing it instead of a team, just lack that charm and style it once had. i just dont get how she lost that unique edge so fast. the majority of LO is in this current style too while her original one, which is what made it popular, was only in the first 20ish episodes.

7. It doesn't make sense that Artemis n Apollo got to morder a buncha people without a pass and didn't get send to court but the only reason it doesn't make sense is because RS decided 'lol scene's looking like shit for perse, time to pull out another greek myth that makes everyone else look bad lololol' (also why isn't perse defending Artemis if she lovse all her frieinds so much? Like PLEASE RS STICK TO SMTH)

8. Where can we go to read the bonus chapter?

From OP: Currently, there’s not a way to read it online from what I’ve seen.

9. I don;t get how when the villagers murder perse's friends, they get killed, but when perse kills, she gets community service???

From OP: That’s because nymphs are more valued than humans. It’s kind of weird because in LO, nymphs are lower class and aren’t really treated with respect either. They’re like slightly above mortals in terms of importance.

10. if we reach episode 200 of LO and they're still not a couple i might actually lose it. true beauty and lets play are both dragged out too but even they both have more romance going on than dragging it out this much.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

11. FP TALK: So i had to catch myself up with the past episode of this and… my god i just remembered why the HELL I dropped it. So basically Hades found out from eavesdropping and then Persephone was technically FORCED to talk about it while Hades kept PUSHING IT!!! Only for him to become that pissed off and for Persephone to stop him from that form!? Bitch I would’ve told him that he’s overstepping boundaries. And for him to say “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger” to her??? B r u h, that turama doesn’t make you stronger, it hurts and it stays with you no matter what. Yes you can heal from it but yet Persephone is still healing, only for her to keep. Wing forced to talk about it??? That’s horrible and not what she would need to hear. Also why the hell do I sense a Apollo redemption?? I hate where this is going. Why did I pick this up again??😓

[khaleesiofalicante]

exhausted but wanna read

7 04 am have not slept need to go somewhere at 9

fuckkkk okay let's read

one day since Magnus left?

alec love calm tf down

still mad at you for how you reacted to shinyun so like sit the fuck down I am sleep deprived and tired I will not be holding back today

sigh checking his tabs was already crossing a line

dude ffs calm down

idk I'm tired so I'm extra salty. gonna try and be nicer

stop fucking smoking or I'm taking away your lungs

I'm sure I can get a nice price for them

dude this is called obsession <3

listen, love Magnus already has a lot on his plate with his asshole father so like calm tf down and oh my god

God, Alec is fucking spiraling. He is fucking losing his mind.

yes, I can tell. get a grip lightwood

oh wow okay then. if he chooses to leave then he leaves end of conversation

yeah don't drive in the rain

this one time when I was younger we were on the highway I think going to the neighbouring city? and it was fucking pouring and I started crying because I was terrified.

He knows he is being dramatic. He knows he went a little far earlier with Shinyun.

YES BITCH

oh wow, now we're both spiralling about the divorce great!

"You need to get your shit together," she had told with a chuckle when they had parted that day.

Maia knows what she's talking about!

gasp

omg so cute the little note

MAGNUS FUCK THAT IS SO ROMANTIC

HE READ AND ANNOTATED THE BOOK FOR HIM I COULD CRY

Magnus weren't you in London-

well hello

I am sad

why is he sad

oh wait I remember why he's sad

Magnus poor baby come here lemme hug you

oof yeah been there shit hurts

omg he's kissing his fingers

FUCK OMG THEM

NO HE'S CRYING NOW IM GOING TO CRY

oh shit

I'm so sad wtf

oh that's why he didn't want rafe to paint his nails yellow

oh fuck

I don't know what to say

“What my mom did,” Magnus elaborates. “Why do people do it?”

okay ouch this hit hard

sometimes all we can do is be there for them and hold them through it and hope that's enough.

YOU? HARD TO LOVE? LIES!

“You are not hard to love,” Alec tells him. “Loving you is the easiest goddamn fucking thing in the world.”

YES SO TRUE! MAGNUS YOU BEAUTIFUL LOVEABLE IDIOT! WE LOVE YOU!

He’ll never let Magnus cry again.

This hurts because he does...

OKAY THE MIDDLE!

I genuinely didnt want the starting to end :(

Thomas hello

you don't have shared assets? any at all?

oof

I am not understanding half of the shit going on but okay

cool legal shit nice

He is a fucking weirdo.

Alec loves him so much.

Me too dude

Not after what happened.

Elaborate

“Nope,” Alec shakes his head. “It turns out he kept it. You know, it’s fine. Who doesn’t have a secret apartment you can run away to when you are mad at your husband, right?”

Uh babe-

Cool cool cool

I have no clue what those British insults mean and I almost messaged a person asking what they meant because this was our thing when I remembered she's a lying piece of shit who gave us all trauma then moved on with her life

nice

what was the cost? what did you do?

Tf is rational choice theory

sounds disgusting

aww they're so cute

“I think we just put a shirtless pic of you on Twitter and say single and ready to mingle,” Lily points out.

Bitch do it

SHIT IS MAGNUS SLEEPING IN HIS BED???

Also eat something you little bitch /affectionate

what the fuck are they doing lmao y'all're so awkward

OMG HE ASKED BEFORE COMING IN FUCK MY LIFE

y'all are so so awkward

uh Magnus I'm pretty sure alec didn't send those

sigh. shinyun

if someone sent me sunflowers I would have a panic attack no matter who sent them but that's my own trauma let's not focus on that

okay someone is fucking with them

and it's Max, isn't it?

I'm so confused

KNEW IT WAS MAX!

Rafael had explained that celebrity endorsements are a capitalist marketing technique and Max told him to go to hell.

I snorted

OOF THAT'S THE DRUNKEN RANT?

oh damn

I AM SORRY BUT I SCREAMED

THIS CHILD IS UNHINGED AND I LOVE HIM FOR IT

probably should not be laughing but I have not slept and this shit is hilarious to me for some reason

I wanna hug him

“Tell me how it stops,” Max says. “Tell me how you can just wake up one day and be like I’m done loving this person.”

I don't think you can just stop all of a sudden. It happens. You fall out of love and you don't always see it coming but I don't think it's a sudden thing. You see it happening and sometimes you try your best to make it stop and other times you don't.

ALRIGHT IM GETTING TOO WORKED UP AT 7 58AM

Sometimes love isn't enough.

where did it get you guys?

don't say ambiguous shit oh my goddd

“I’m never ever going to fall in love,” Max says like it’s a serious announcement. “Love is such fucking bullshit.”

It makes Alec smile. “Let’s not turn into a cliché.”

I know this is sad but I laughed-

END!

Okay, what plan? Don't remember how the last chapter ended so like

wait

MAX'S POV????

People are more likely to go through heartbreak than get an STD.

okay accurate

There isn't one way to love though. Everyone loves differently

No wonder this world is a giant clusterfuck.

SO TRUE BABE!

You can't control that though. You can't control falling in love

It hurts but we somehow come across on the other side. Most of the times

Who tf is hot stuff

TRU DAY!!!

"Kadir, my man," Max grins. "On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 getting grounded and 10 getting disowned, how much trouble would I get in if I try to kiss the Prime Minister?"

"Solid eight," Kadir replies without looking up. "Still going kiss the Prime Minister?"

"Mr. Safar," Max drawls. "I've dealt with worse odds than this."

Max please don't kiss the Prime Minister

“I’m sure by the end of tomorrow, we’ll be calling each other pet names,” Max winks. “What do you think about bubblebutt? I think it suits Justin.”

“I don’t get paid enough for this,”

Max NO-

GABRIELLL

Ohhh Magnus owns it? Nice

“Your parents would trade you for a ripe avocado.”

I WHEEZED

UNLESS BELLA HADID ASKS LMAO MAX

“I think so,” Max shrugs. “I mean. Is anyone okay?”

“Too deep,” Gabriel shakes their head.

No Max we are not

“The ideal outfit is nothing,” Gabriel points out. “I’d just walk in their buck naked.”

These two are made for each other

Max babe you have a type :)

SELENA??

WHAT'S WRONG??

RAFE??

DAVID???

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

aww you're in love

IMPORTED FROM FRANCE BYE-

FUCK IT'S THAT BOY??

KILL HIM DAVID

KILL HIM I'LL HELP WITH THE BODY

Kyle, I'll stab you in the eye

Max and he have a history?

Max you-

Oh god I love him

“My hand slipped and fell on his face,” Max informs.

Me likey

Do it again

oh no they're both mad at him

well fuck

oh damn David

also totally deserved

HEY NO HE DESERVES TO MEET HOT TRUDEAU

Although I don't see the appeal at all

WHAT THE FUCK IS ACTIVE OPERATION LITTLE PRINCE

I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH THEIR FRIENDSHIP

be careful there love. water is no joke.

DAVID JUST-

Oh my

OH MY GOD THEY'RE KISSING

max really did that huh when they were 11-

Oh my god they kissed

Oh my god them them them them them

I learned how to throw a punch when I was 11. Maybe that was fucked up but like I throw good punches.

oh my god my heart broke

Tell him you love him

SAY IT BITCH

realises my phone is in the other room and I should go get it because it's 8 30 am and I need to leave at 9:

My mother bingeing a show while also not having slept:

Me:

Her:

Me: Don't you dare tell me to not stay up late fangirling over something again

OKAY ANYWAY YOU BOTH KISS

TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM

OH MY GOD THEY ARE KISSING AGAIN

FUCK FUCK FUCK

LOML

Yeah sure y'all should definitely fuck

wait omg David said this because Max is only interested in one-night stands and fuckkk

DAVID YOU SWEET LITTLE-

GET HERE

why is he crying omg omg omg what

DAVID YOU SEXY LITTLE SHIT WHO MADE YOU INSECURE I JUST NEED TO TALK

I would fucking die for you

Max wonders if it’s a good idea to confess that he has jerked off just to the thought of David’s fingers.

At least a dozen times.

In the last month.

No it really isn't.

what is happening dude y'all

“Yeah, that’s me,” Max rolls his eyes. “Deflowering expert.”

Y'all I love you

Which makes sense because that bitch moisturizes like thrice a day and his body lotion is probably made out of unicorn fur and his cleanser is made of tears of newborn babies.

FUCKING SNORTED

Thanks, dad! You make sex life so interesting!

LMAO I LOVE THIS

I love them so much

Oh shit he's reading the entire thing boy-

David carried an inhaler for him I-

KILL ME NOW

schools should really really teach us how to deal with grief. But isn't it the same as with love? You can't be taught some things. Some things you just gotta experience, things you can't prepare for.

MAX WAS DAVID'S FIRST KISS I COULD CRY

Max bouta break every single one of those rules with David I know it.

IM SORRY BLOOD??

Ofc Mallory

I CHOKED ON MY SPIT SIR IT IS 8 46AM I LEAVE IN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR I NEED TO START PACKING-

oh he was joking

You won't have to live without it.

He is ruined now, like one of those victorian ladies who have sex before marriage. 

This made me laugh way too much

Im sad now he's leaving

ALEC IS SAVED AS "Hitler" SAHUUHDSUHFD

oof that anticipation

AYYY THEY'RE NOW FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

Loved this so so much <3

The unnecessary stress you put yourself through omg 😂😂

This is Max (and us)

[jonkentt]

Alright star wars au where sambucky are both rebel pilots but bucky is a really fuckin terrible pilot.

Like ya know how starfighters fly rly close together? Well bucky sucks at that and bumps into people all the time- never injured anyone just scratched up some wings. But they’ll be making a wall of ships for intimidation purposes and then buckys starfighter is upsidedown. He doesnt know how to run diagnostics of his ship correctly or fix anything even if he did understand what was broken. So when he flys past its *ship breaking down noises* and probly a cloud of smoke every so often.

Best Pilot In The Galaxy Sam Wilson is like for the love of god why do we let this man in a ship and the rebel alliance is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (bc I dont have an answer). So buckys pluggin along at a slugs pace and sam on the intercoms is “BITCH USE YOUR THRUSTERS” or “take it out of parking gear you IDIOT”. When sam calls “fire weapons!” bucky shoots forward at super speed right into enemy fire and sam curses up a storm and goes in to save him. Bucky will be admiring a pretty nebula and lose track of the ship he was meant to be following so when sam asks for his coordinates hes just “uh,, well you should see the stars over here tho guys-“ and sam fully switches to an alien language but it sounds like hes upset.

Meanwhile, buckys totally in love with sam cause obv hes a ray of sunshine. Any other squad leader wouldve shot bucky out of the sky by now. He even makes a point to say “nice one” when bucky successfully does something very simple. But bucky thinks sam hates him. Everyone else tries to tell him “sam doesnt hate you, he just doesnt understand why youre a pilot” but buckys like “no its personal, he doesnt like my face :’(“. And joaquin bless his heart is like “bucky, I will help you” and he tries he really does. The improvement isnt amazing but bucky gets thru 3 missions without making sam cuss on the intercoms so he considers that a huge success and decides hes gonna ask sam out. But you gotta understand, up until this point hes been avoiding sam like the plague and sending anon flowers. So sam hasnt actually connected his face to the guilty voice apologizing to him on the intercoms. (Sam is in charge of a lot of ships okay you cant blame him for not knowing every face especially when bucky is always trying to disappear so he just thinks buckys real shy and thats why he doesnt talk to sam.) Anyway when bucky asks him out sam is like aw lookit this cutie :’) and they do their date and the whole time sams thinking his voice is weirdly familiar idk?? They date for a few weeks without any emergencies or bucky incidents so sam still doesnt put it together.

Okay then they have a mission and sam does some super sick piloting stuff and over the intercom buckys like “YES SAMMY!! you handsome hunk of pilot you” and all becomes clear. When they get back to base, bucky runs up to him for a hug and sams just like “IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME?? YOURE THE FOOL WHO KEPT FLYING HIS XWING BACKWARDS?? I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THOSE COULD GO BACKWARDS!” and bucky makes sad puppy eyes “…do you hate me sam?” and sam just looks at this dork and realizes !! its love!! “Baby, you are the worst pilot Ive ever met, and Im pretty sure Im in love with you.”

@thatmexisaurusrex this is for you! it got too long for an ask but ily <3

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[hello-yue-here]

thank you @chiptrillino for tagging me in a wip game!

not quite sure what the rules are but based off of your AMAZING POST OF ART WIPS (check it out here yall chip is so talented) ive decided to just share some parts of my writing wips that i rlly like because i cannot draw whatsoever lmao

enjoy some lil snippets hehe

from heart don't stand a chance:

"Zuko couldn’t get over her eyes. She was looking past the camera towards the man who took it. Zuko could see clear as day the love she held for Sokka in her gaze.

It was a perfect moment that Sokka had captured. No wonder held it with him at all times. If someone had looked at Zuko like that, he’d never want to see anything again.

As he took in the photograph, Sokka sat next to him in silence. His hand was clutching the ring around his neck again in his fist, pressing it close to his mouth as he peered over Zuko’s shoulder to look. Zuko turned to him to compliment the picture and saw a sad fondness lingering in his eyes."

this is a scene i wrote a while ago thats gonna appear in a much later chapter. but yeah. more yue angst for you guys im so sorry.

from i love you (and that's all i really know):

"Mister Sokka," a little voice wishpered in his ear as he felt tiny pokes on his cheek, "Wake up Mister Sokka."

"Good morning to you too Izumi," Sokka responded wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the little girl who was standing on her tippy toes to see over the edge of the bed and poke his face until he rose.

She smiled at him once she realized he was awake.

"Can we have pancakes?" She asked shyly, hiding her mouth just below the edge of the bed as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

That look was going to be dangerous for him later on, he could aready tell.

"Sure thing, Izumi, just let me sleep for five more minutes, mkay?" He asked as he shut his eyes again. He was exhausted from last nights events, and the sun had barely risen. How did Zuko do this?"

this is a scene from the next chapter of this fic. so much sokka and izumi bonding you guys are gonna explode hehehe.

from cherry (the mailee fic i wont shut up about that is now a whopping 19 pages):

"Mai never had to guess with Ty Lee. She always knew when Ty Lee was happy about something because she would use an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. She would send gifs of people or cartoons making outlandish expressions whenever she wanted to react to Mai’s text with a specific facial expression. Sometimes Ty Lee would even send voice memos whenever her thoughts became too long, or she got too excited about a story that her fingers couldn’t type as fast as she could speak."

hehe i love mailee.

from yours (the mailee sorority fic that i promise i did not forget about):

"Mai lifted her head off the pillow again and met Zuko’s eyes. She studied his impassive expression, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. He did seem like he missed Mai and Azula, so maybe he did really just want to catch up with them.

But Mai wasn’t going to give up a golden opportunity like this.

“Tell us everything about the boy toy as well and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Mai said.

Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed, “Ugh, fine. And his name is Sokka by the way.”

“Nuance. You also have to wake up Azula.”

“No chance in hell,” Zuko scoffed, “You’re the roommate and her fellow ‘pong princess,’ wake-up duty is all yours.”

“If she murders me, it’s your fault. She’s a bitch when she’s hungover.”

“Whatever you say, Mai,” Zuko grinned before returning back to his phone."

i have decided that zuko is a little shit for this fic and no one can stop me.

from Where'd All the Time Go? (the yuekka fic that i have severe writers block with that i also promis i have not forgotten about):

"“Sokka I really think you need to take a moment and-”

“I am fine Aang, I don’t have time for a feelings talk right now. Right now I need to find the fucking chief of this damn place.” His words came out harsher than he meant, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

Before Sokka could run off again to continue his search, a hand grabbed his arm. One of Arnook’s advisors, Malina, had started dragging him towards the podium.

“Do you not realize how late you are for this Sokka? The ceremony was supposed to begin with your speech nearly an hour ago-” she hissed at him as she pulled him along through the crowd.

“Malina I’m sorry but I really need to speak with Arnook it is urgent-”

“This damn speech of yours is what’s urgent right now Sokka, you can speak with Arnook later but the guests are getting antsy so you need to give your speech right. Now.”

“But-”

“Now.”

Maline shoved Sokka towards the podium and suddenly all eyes were on him. Every guest in attendance had their focus solely on Sokka."

homeboy is stressed in this scene. things are slowly going to shit in this chapter. i promise i will update this before the end of the year. i swear. im so sorry.

from a currently untitled jetko/sukka boiling rock fic:

"“Oh good, you survived after all,” She said in a mocking tone.

Jet didn’t answer. He knew anything he said would be used against him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what was happening. But he would be damned if he showed that weakness in front of the fire nation.

“I was told you were more talkative than this,” the girl mused. There was something familiar about her, “my informants were very detailed when discussing your little teashop romance.”

I knew it. Jet snarled in his mind, That bastard betrayed me."

i want this fic to be a little darker but idk how good i am at writing darker fics because i love fluff and humor too much. this could be good angst practice for me.

from a toph and sokka fic that i wrote a while back to help me cope w some shit that i dont know if ill ever post:

"“Sokka? Are you still there?” Toph asked, the slightest hint of concern began to slip into their voice

“Tell me a story,” he was trembling. Despite all of his efforts to sound calm, he knew his voice came out trembling and scratchy and pathetic-

“Is everything okay? You don’t sound too hot,” Toph said through the phone.

Breathe, Sokka, breathe. You don’t want them to be worried, you just need to calm down.

“Please, Toph, I just,” he said through shaky breaths that weren’t nearly deep enough for him to be getting enough oxygen, “I just need a distraction. I just need to hear your voice okay?”"

nonbinary toph anyone?

from a 10 things i hate about you kataang and zukka au:

"“What? Something on my face?” the guy asked deadpanned. He rubbed at his scar as if he were wiping off a smudge of mustard, and Aang’s face went pale.

“Stop scaring the sophomores Zuko, this one’s new. He won’t get your… humor… just yet,” Ms. Wu said as she waved Aang off again.

“I’m hurt that you’d imply I’m not funny, Wu. I’m hilarious,” the senior, Zuko, said as he walked past Aang.

Aang let out a sigh of relief knowing that this Zuko guy didn’t seem all that offended by his awkwardness, and darted out of the room."

zuko is a little shit part 2. the amount of sarcasm i have dripping off of heath ledger zuko is glorious. let zuko be a little shit. i havent added to this in months but when i finish some of my other wips i cant wait to get back to this.

i have more wips and drafts saved but none of them have anything juicy or funny or interesting yet because all of them are like less than three pages so far

but yeah, heres a good chunk of sneaky peakys from my wips!

I hope you liked them!

anyone who wants to do this can totally go for it. imma tag @ambykinns @lumities and @flowers-inthepieshop (only if you all want too!!) because this was fun :)

[parismemes]

THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.

“tell me everythng.” “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE” “i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop” “i on principle only like songs that go hard” “I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK” “heehoo. water boy.” “why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here” “gacha games count as gambling” “im also there. im laughing” “u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money” “what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd” “what a traumatic backstory” “I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“ “THAT’S not good!” “if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem” “i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off” “YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” “why the fuck would you want that” “yeah hes my only one true love” “by a few i of course mean like 600″ “no one fucking appreciate me” “thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me” “i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle” “im smart and never regret it“ “see, i just dont think thats right” “i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)” “hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass” “sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,” “it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means” “why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes” “TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND” “he's a content creator he'll be fine” “what does this mean? but yes” “NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE” “for future record ___ just used the word poggers” “look at all these fuckin blondes” “its only been like a week and a half at most” “hes doing it out of affection” “ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN” “you are terrible and also the worst” “i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird” “do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins” “i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell” “run over pedestrians” “i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby” “you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“ “it's ok. we can figure it out later” “i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over” “ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS” “hey guys just turns out we might have a ✨ gas leak ✨” “im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out” “curious georg” “thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours” “i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai” “i should not and will not stop” “i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” “that wasnt a question you read it wrong” “i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me” “THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY” “sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean” “WOT THIS” “I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“ “tired of all these stupid fuckin plants” “could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?” “actually everything is real” “if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast” “i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism” “i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE” “you dirty criminal” “is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss” “ok im done for the Right Now” “found a concerning orb. in the sky.” “HOW DID YOU KILL THEM” “why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this” “the only simp here is me” “I No Longer Wish To Know!“ “DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES” “WE ARE DETERMINED” “this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british” “they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo” “THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE” “its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about” “hanburnger?” “thats just what living with siblings is like” “howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk” “i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory” “i am sorry that you are predictable” “Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,” “i marked your worm” “what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn” “you Know i hate the idea of being wrong” “You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego” “i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead” “~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~” “am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell” “I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING” “jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst” “JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO” “cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it” “im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys” “itll be fiiiiiine” “we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper” “queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals” “its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is” “i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont” “AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES” “IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”

[oikawaplssteponme]

The Apartment: part 5

▪️for parts 1-4, click here

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing, angst (?)

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: hi friends✨i hope you all are doing well:)) just a friendly reminder to eat something today and stay hydrated 💕 as always, my inbox is open for anything and everything so feel free to reach out:) and the taglist for this fic is still open if you’d like to join✨ okay, enjoy xx

•

Five: best friends

“Okay do you have all your bags?” You asked. Bokuto nodded, holding a backpack and small suitcase.

“Yes Y/N.”

“And your phone? And your pillow, because I know you hate hotel ones. And-“

“Y/N calm down you’re going into ’mom mode’,” said Kuroo. You rolled your eyes.

“I just wanna make sure he has a good trip.”

“Akaashi will take care of him, don't worry,” smiled Kuroo.

“Do you not want me to have a good trip?” pouted Oikawa. You put your arm around him and smiled.

“Oikawa, I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t come back.” You joked.

“I fucking hate you,” he growled, pushing you away. You laughed and ruffled his hair.

“I love you both okay, now get out of here, Iwa and Akaashi are probably already outside,” you smiled. The four of you gathered for a group hug. Oikawa was off to his mini getaway with Iwa and Bokuto was joining Akaashi for his writers conference. The apartment would be just you and Kuroo.

“Hey, Y/N,” called Bokuto. He pulled you aside and whispered something in your ear.

“Remember what I told you.”

You sighed, remembering well what Bokuto had told you those days ago. You nodded.

“Farewell my lovely apartment! You two better not burn the place down while I’m gone,” said Oikawa.

“No promises,” smiled Kuroo. He pushed Oikawa out the door as Bokuto followed.

“Bye you two, we love you!” You cheered. Kuroo shut the door behind Oikawa and Bokuto, leaving you alone with him.

“You act like they’re never coming back,” laughed Kuroo.

“Not my fault I’ll miss them. I don’t remember the last time I went more than a week without them,” you explained. Kuroo nodded.

“Wanna grab some food after class?” Asked Kuroo. Your face felt warm.

“Uh yeah that sounds good.” You and Kuroo both had a lecture together today for your marketing course.

“Just give me 10 minutes and we can head to class,” you said. Kuroo nodded. You went inside your room and saw that Oikawa had left something on your bed. You picked it up and it read: “I suggest you use this before it expires”. You turned the card over, and saw that it was a coupon for 10% off a purchase at Party City. You groaned and threw the card away.

“Dickhead,” you mumbled.

“Who, me?” said Kuroo. You jumped.

“Kuroo oh my god you have to stop sneaking up on me like that,” you ordered. Kuroo laughed and sat down on your bed.

“Hurry up I don’t wanna be late.” You sighed and grabbed your jacket and shoes from your closet and slipped them on.

“Fine then let’s go.”

~

You and Kuroo walked a couple blocks to campus. Your lecture hall wasn’t too far away.

“A 3 hour lecture never gets easier,” you sighed. Kuroo patted your shoulder.

“Come on Y/N, don’t you just love getting all that knowledge thrown at you.” You rolled your eyes.

“Marketing is boring, even a nerd like you could agree,” you joked.

“Okay fair,” smiled Kuroo. The two of you reached the lecture hall and took a seat next to each other.

“Hi Kuroo! Mind if I sit here?” a voice said. You turned to see a girl standing next to Kuroo.

“Oh Calie, hi, yeah sure,” said Kuroo. The girl joyfully sat down next to Kuroo, causing you to clench your fists.

“Uh Calie, this is my friend Y/N, Y/N this is Calie, we have organic chemistry together,” explained Kuroo. The girl flashed you a dazzling smile. Great, she's pretty and smart. You shook her hand firmly.

“Wait aren’t you guys roommates too? That must be so fun living with someone like Kuroo,” giggled Calie. You gave her a sarcastic smile. I already hate this bitch.

“Yeah we’ve been friends forever so I definitely get my fair share of Kuroo.”

“Well you’re probably so sick of him, mind if I borrow him after the lecture?” She asked. Calie wrapped her hand around Kuroo’s bicep. You had to stop yourself from beating the shit out of her.

“Well actually-“ you began.

“Sure that sounds fun. You don’t mind right, Y/N?” said Kuroo. Is he being serious right now?

“So I’m supposed to grab dinner by myself?” You whispered, without thinking. Kuroo’s eyes widened. Calie gasped.

“You can come with us! I’d hate to leave you all alone,” She smiled.

“Yeah come with us,” said Kuroo.

“No no it’s fine, you two have fun. I’d rather be alone anyway,” you muttered. Before Kuroo could reply, your professor had walked in and began his lecture.

~

Your lecture felt longer than normal. Probably because all you could focus on was Calie’s giggles as she whispered with Kuroo throughout the whole 3 hours. Kuroo was always good with the ladies. His confident nature caused girls to be drawn towards him. Yes, you liked him too but you liked all of him, not just the surface level of Kuroo.

You tried to contain your annoyance with Calie and Kuroo. It was obvious she was flirting with him.

“See you next week,” said your professor as he wrapped up his lecture. You got up from your seat and began packing up your things. You didn’t look at Kuroo and headed right out the door.

You began walking back to your apartment when you heard Kuroo call after you.

“Wait Y/N-chan!” You turned around to face him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to hang with me and Calie? She’s really nice once you get to know her,” he said. You almost rolled your eyes.

“No it’s fine. I promised I’d FaceTime Oikawa now anyway,” you lied. Kuroo raised an eyebrow.

“Well if you say so. I’ll grab dinner with you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah sure. Make sure you have your key to the apartment or else I’m locking you out,” you said. Kuroo laughed and nodded.

“Bye Y/N!” cheered Calie. You gave her a wave and watched as Kuroo ran back towards her.

-

You walked back to your apartment, upset. Kuroo had every right to hang out with other girls but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It was just another reminder that Kuroo might not share the same feelings as you.

The apartment felt weird being so empty. All dark and quiet. You threw your keys on the counter and plopped onto the couch. You checked your phone and saw a plethora of texts from Oikawa.

i've been in the car FOREVER -sent 5:35pm

my legs are cramping -sent 5:40pm

do you think if i asked Iwa to stop for a bathroom break he would be mad? -sent 5:41pm

bc we just stopped 30 minutes ago and i said i didn’t need to go -sent 5:43pm

but now i do -sent 5:47pm

update: he stopped for me🤩 -sent 6:01pm

y/n answer me -sent 6:37pm

im bored -sent 6:38pm

you better be buying that maid costume -sent 6:40pm

that coupon expires soon -sent 6:41pm

btw bokuto forgot his pillow but he told me not to tell you -sent 6:52pm

oops -sent 6:52pm

wyd -sent 7:03pm

You laughed at your phone. Good to see you weren’t the only one missing your friends.

well im currently sitting alone in the apartment as kuroo ditched me for some girl -sent 7:15pm

HE DID WHAT -sent 7:18pm

maybe im being dramatic but he’s kinda on a date with some girl from his organic chemistry class -sent 7:19pm

i bet she’s ugly -sent 7:19pm

no she’s gorgeous -sent 7:20pm

fuck

well

im gonna beat his ass

how dare he -sent 7:20pm

it’s fine

maybe it’s better im alone rn anyway

gives me time to get over him -sent 7:21pm

come on hun

don’t say that

don’t give up -sent 7:25pm

idk toru

i feel like it’s never gonna happen

especially when he could have someone like her -sent 7:27pm

bokuto said it best: kuroo would be stupid not to like you -sent 7:28pm

i guess he’s stupid then -sent 7:30pm

:(((

okay Iwa and I got to our hotel but I’ll talk to you later okay love? -sent 7:33pm

okay

bye shittykawa -sent 7:34pm

why do you hurt me? -sent 7:35

You set your phone down and checked in the kitchen for anything worth eating. You weren’t in the mood to go out anymore.

Rice. We have rice. Well, rice it is.

You took out the rice cooker and began to prepare your sad dinner.

Why didn’t I just go with them?

As the rice cooked, you sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. You put on ‘Gilmore Girls’, wishing your friends were there to watch it with you.

~

It was late. Close to 11pm. Kuroo still wasn’t home. You laid on the couch, basking in your loneliness. A little dramatic yes but you hated being without your friends. It was a weird concept that they had friends beside you.

You heard keys jingle outside the door and you felt a wave of comfort come over you, knowing it had to be Kuroo. You got up from the couch and peaked at the door.

“I was starting to wonder what happened to you…” your voice trailed off when you saw that Kuroo wasn’t alone.

“Hey Y/N! Oh my gosh your apartment is so cute!” said Calie. Your jaw dropped and you looked over at Kuroo.

Your expression had to be screaming: “are you fucking kidding me right now!?”

“Oh uh thanks,” you muttered.

“Is it cool if Calie stays for a bit? Her roommates are having people over and she doesn’t know them too well,” explained Kuroo. Hmm I wonder what that’s like.

“You don’t have to ask me, it’s your apartment too,” you said plainly. Kuroo raised a brow.

“Just checking…”

Calie walked around your small apartment, admiring all the decorations that you had up.

“Aw isn’t this the cutest photo!” She said. She picked up a picture of you and Kuroo. It was when you had gotten dressed up together to take graduation pictures. Your smile was the brightest it’s ever been. Holding your diploma as Kuroo wrapped his arm around you. In the background of the photo you could see a faint image of Oikawa and Bokuto.

“Yeah I love that picture,” Kuroo smiled. Kuroo took the photo from Calie’s hand and looked at it.

“Best friends, right?” He looked at you. Your heart sank.

“Yup, best friends,” you whispered with a dull smile. Kuroo smiled and showed Calie to his room. You tried not to react. You walked over to your room, locked the door, and curled up onto your bed.

Is best friends all we are ever gonna be?

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @lilnuances @tetsoleil @cloudswritings @foxyyychan @tamaguchi @jessie9008 @bitandbytes @yeehawnana @166cm @bigchaosenergy @tumbledor3 @captain-janeway @answer-the-sirens @simpletype @ysatrap @stinkybitch1919 @bokutory ]