#idk how to talk about it without sounding like i hate the game. I DONT HATE THE GAME. but. i havent touched it in over a week and i dont

[lanayrutower]

the urge to complain about botw because i paid 160 bucks for it vs the knowledge that i should just shut up to keep my peace on the internet

[malka-lisitsa]

🙄 ; What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to tumblr?

I'm gonna get hate for this but fuck it we ball.

purity culture

the idea that you can make an OC out of a canon character but keep the back story and the name and all the connections. That makes no sense that's just saying you dont want to write them correctly and covering your ass-

Portrayal. And how no one fucking cares about it anymore. Everyone is great at what they do and there is NO room for improvements and you obviously dont have to do your character justice when you can just do whatever you want with them instead fuck if it makes sense youre only writing a real character and not an oc but ITS COOL RIGHT? WHY BE GOOD WHEN YOU CAN JUST DO WHATEVER??

I will die on this hill for all eternity, portrayal fucking matters and I refuse to fall into the crowd that supports "do whatever!" culture.

Oc's in canon settings that don't make sense. I remember back when I was in thg fandom people tripped over themselves to make sure their oc matched lore. People researched named winners of what games and they like actually gave a damn about making their oc as canon as possible. Without being needlessly rude that is not a thing anymore :)

people who go out of their way to scream they are super fucking nice just the sweetest ever just the nicest sweetest little bean never has a bad thing to say about anyone super sweet over the top- and its because they are a trash person trying so hard to hide they are a trash person. You look fake. You sound fake. Whoa shocker, you're fake. This is why I have zero problem being real about the things that I say and do. I am the first person to tell you Im a bitch, but im also the first person to step out on the front lines if you need someone. See they're not mutually exclusive I don't need a show to be nice.

the idea that constructive criticism is hate. Just bc you don't like it doesn't mean that someone who said you weren't perfect is sending hate. I saw this a LOT in 2k12 bro people genuinely trying to help got flamed bc god forbid someone improve.

attention seeking on the dash- Excessive "WILL YOU PLEASE LIKE THIS IF YOU LIKE ME AND MY MUSES PLEASE??" Bruh. Stop. If they follow you most likely they like you. Chill or they're probably gonna stop. Self fulfilling prophecy.

the idea that you don't owe anyone an explanation for blocking. If you have written extensively, and been friends for a long time yes tf you do owe an explanation even if its "You pushed my boundaries too often after I told you x thing" and then blocking them. But you owe a friend an explanation. Communicate. Don't be a coward. No sense in ditching a friend when you could idk talk about it but ok. this does not apply to randos.

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

i swear to fucking god im not a hater but if i see another fucking badly-made thumbnail boring neurotypical straight guy with lame monotone voice talking over buncha mfb clips video of the worst metal fight beyblade takes ive ever seen with the unfunniest jokes im gonna rearrange the DNA sequence of the closest person to me to that of a Doto greenamyeri nudibranch because i swear to god just shut the fuck up.

how the fuck do you meatheads base how much you like a character over powerscaling and win ratio. would you prefer a wild bear over your own mother because the bear is stronger than her? thats how you fuckin sound like. i gotta rant this shit out because i had enough if i hear another fucking "ryūga da goat🥶🐐" "beyblade really is that serious🤣" "This show is so acoustic😵" "did you know that moses split the sea with a be-" WE FUCKING KNOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS AT THIS POINT. ALSO IF YOU DEADASS USE AUTISM AS AN INSULT LET ALONE USE THE WORD ACOUSTIC OR ARTISTIC FOR IT STAY 7 KILOMETERS AWAY FROM ME AND ALSO DONT WATCH METAL FIGHT BEYBLADE EVERYONE IS GAY AND AUTISTIC YOU KNOW WHY⁉️ which cishet neurotypical out there makin spinning tops fight with neon green or blue whateverthefuck hair half the cast looks like they been hiding in closet before their debut episode.

PRIME example of these bad takes is , because of powerscaling again the hate on masamune ? i thought people hated him because they thought he was annoying (like how i did when i first watched it when i was little) (FOUR YRS OLD) and like id get that as in he talks alot or whatever but people hate him because. fucking. "he has a low win ratio and claims to be the number one blader" BITCH THATS A 15 YR OLD. or like around that age somewhere you get the point. so what if the taco doritos colour palette guy a little confident in himself bitch you hate fun you hate sillyness. people also use him as like a tool to praise kenta? constantly i see takes like "kenta is like masamune if masamune didnt suck" or something as in they both try to rise to the top and get stronger but one of them doesnt talk shit like did you know you can praise a character without putting down the other one motherfucker. another one is "masamune isnt a legendary blader because he talks shit but cant actually back it up" Hey my brother in Allah lets play a little game. which one of the fucking legendary bladers talks big about himself. you have ten seconds. 10...9...8....KING. KING IS RIGHT THERE .

also saw someone say damian shouldve been a legendary blader⁉️⁉️mf that boy was on rearrangement stereoids the effects of that wouldve already worn off by the time of metal fury how does that even WORKK😭😭 he was probably off with 3 big fucking pet dogs to eat custard pudding or sumn idk .Ryūga dickriding has been a thing for for ever but right now for some reason people decided they didnt talk about that guy enough. theres so many videos on him guys there are other characters to talk about i can write a three billion word essay on damian but i dont think i can say anything about ryūga that hasnt been said at this point. also the people who claim hes alive BECAUSE hes alive in the manga is crazy like yall cant see those as two different universes? im not saying wether if i think hes alive or not this isnt about that dont miss the point. i wanted to make text posts about mfb for forever but i was embarrased for god knows why so i just posted my mfb fanart on my main but i cant take it anymore (eatina burger with no honey mustard) must speak this time im afraid

also sorry if this is hard to read im not good at ending sentences where i should punctuation jumpscare. powerscaling mfs will hear u say u like a character like for example tsubasa or sumn and immediately bring up ryūga like shut the fuck up this shit happened on twitter i dont even use twitter i opened the app for 000.1 seconds. you just jelaous ryūga will never serve like did mf also im not a ryūga hater anyways i reached the character limit fuck

[cannibal-nightmares]

semi-incoherent babbling

terminal velocity. I'm trying to reamin hoepful and keep the arrow in my mind straight, to pretend normalcy, but he mentioned i might be burnt ou t and he is aboslutely correct. i have too much on my plate. I regret to say that my hypothesis on my trip was correct in that i figured it was going to be a throw of the parking brake only for the lurch forward once it was let off again. dgmw im glad I did it and Im glad I went, but it felts like temporarily ejecting a tape i had to inevitably put back in, in terms of attempting to soothe my focus. and i dont mean "too much" as in mild annoyance in my circumstance or of fun things and plans that i can just move around and cancel, I mean "too much" to the point of feeling o nthe edge of defeat w no way out. I'm struggling to reply to people appropriately or at the very least to a capacity I would prefer to would otherwise intend (in timing or pattern or depth or without mask). I have so much of work and personal work, I try to fall to hobbies and art as an escape but evern thinking about personal endeavours makes my ears ring. its not anyone's fault, it's all just become a lot and then some and more. I keep thinking about three things: "ceci n'est pas une fucking drille," Han-Tyumi's "critical density," and the "& Secure" comic strip wehre they're at a traffic light.Thinking about work makse me feel sick, thinking about going out this weekend makes me dizzy, thinking about finishing new art makes my throat uncomfortable, trying to talk to people is like sludge. its not anyones fault; i dontn owe anyone here anything. or anyone really. this life has been feeling more and more like a video game and every day I feel more and more confused as to why I dont just play a different game. and i dont just mean "work vs hobbies"--that would fit the metaphor in that i *could* "just" play something else--but i mean basic functions and further basic circumstance. i have to sleep? xyz? what a disappointing game mechanic when the difficulty setting is already jacked. and before i get pinterest advice, i should clarify: i dont know what relaxing is. i know that sounds dramatic, but i dont. I've discussed it before, but "winding down" doesnt make sense to me. It either is or it isnt;y. So what do i do? I cant tell if I'm genuinely asking or if its rhetorical. maybe i should try picking up skating again but i know how and why that ends every time. thats the only thing i can think of that can brute-force myslf out of my own head. though, thn, begs the question: with what time?

i do hate to whine cause theres nothing anyone can do do about it. but i digress, i do feel i owe him and that ive disappointed him. I know he'd/he'll argue against it, but if I am disapointed in myself, he is autmatically encompassed in that cocophany within my own perspective. idk if that makes sense at all. it just seems that the second i pause to think about anything other than work/duty, i realize how loud my ears have been ringing,. and I still have a long way to go. I question, i suppose, if I will spend my rest--once i finally get it--recovering rather than enjoying. it always ends up this way and, honestly, it doesnt feel like its my fault. and that just makes me enraged with nowehre to go with it.

this must be how altamont felt, hm? im writing this to just say, if i vanish its because i need it. it's because i need it.

[lagiacrus]

god i have to get this out somewhere or i'll blow up

musing on the f/f media in fandom drama/yaoi discourse/etc (it is not a particularly Negative post i am just thinking aloud)

i guess in my eyes. i think both sides have very valid points if you extend nuance to them.

like. one of the big argument points i see is

a) if you want more yuri content in fandom, make it yourself!!

i don't disagree with this! like if you need to eat you gotta make your food. but also... i completely understand when people express frustration at the amount (overwhelming) of yaoi content over yuri content (or even het content, which is what gives me the 'hmm!' reaction, will explain further)

like... i dunno! it is really a fuckin' bummer when a media with at least 50% female cast is just kind of turned into a Yaoi Pool, i think that there is a lot of stuff to discuss there in that a lot of people gravitate towards male characters more than female characters. i have experienced this! many people i know have! and that just makes me think like...

is the onus of this to be blamed on the people or the writers for being unable to create female characters that aren't completely pigeonholed into tired tropes and stereotypes?

i think the writer thing is probably the idea i agree with the most. but i do think there is also still like... an internalized disdain for women in general, and we see it even outside of this discourse, we see it in blaming women for being 'gross fujos' etc and only talking about yaoi etc. but that's a cycle isn't it? like. you can't win. if you like yaoi you're labeled a 'gross fujo' without any level of investigation on if said fujo is a queer person, without any concept of the nuance that comes with that shit. but it's also like... damn!! why only men huh!?

i have been a #yaoihead for decades so like... i have Seen this, for years and years, i'm not just some yurihead on the outside looking in or whatever, it is really apparent how much people just do Not like female characters, and it's so like... idk.

so much of it really is like, so much media out there has the weakest fucking girls on the planet in terms of writing, and it's depressing as fuck!!!! it's why i'm hesitant to ever 'blame' content consumers because like. idk. i agree, i hate certain tropes for female characters and unfortunately those tropes are the ones that tend to Sell Copies, so i end up gravitating to the more filled out male characters.

but when i see a media with like really well written girls and such and it's still super overwhelmingly Male Oriented in fandom, it's like... man. it's a bummer, and like. back to 'even het ships are on the wayside', one could easily argue it's because everyone is exhausted with het (rightfully so) being the prevalent media in society. but i also just... idk. I Do Think The Women Aspect May Also Be Part Of It! idk. i'm an agender lesbian, i am the last person to go to bat for het ships, but so much of it stinks of 'kill sakura off for naruto/sasuke to be real' but with new, social justice wording that makes it sound like 'good person' discourse.

i dunno! i dont. my view is just like... i love yaoi and yuri. all is good. but it is very much a bummer looking thru someones catalogue for a game with over 70% female characters and seeing only men and the only characters they only acknowledge are men... not even as a 'there's no content of women!' but in a 'what is so disdainful about women that they cant even get an acknowledgement' way, i guess. i dunno.

at the same time tho do not get me started on the overwhelming new presence of gold star lesbian people in yuri fandoms lol. 'if you like a yaoi ship or ship this CANONLY (IN MY HEAD) LESBIAN WITH A MAN you are an EVIL LESBIPHOBE (EVEN IF YOU'RE A LESBIAN) and should KILL YOURSELF' like yeah okay i guess so lol

i'm not trying to start fights or anything i just really think this whole situation calls for more words than 260 characters on twitter allows and unfortunately it creates so much fighting and aggression when it comes up because no one wants to sit down and actually think about what causes these things to happen. iunno. whatever!

[not-souleaterpost]

ENTP CRONA DUMP

Not going back on my word, just forgot to post a dump of "ENTP Crona" stuff I planed to just post all at once in a year, but after trying to stop doing stuff like that, I just thought I post what I had and be done with it.

, the thing even I don't really find funny, but I think I have to do it to get it out and book end it. A lot of it isn't really funny, some of it may sound a bit edgy or abrasive, but it's just in good fun, still putting it under the "keep reading thing" because of the amount and shittyness of the "content" Enjoy or yeah...sorry

ENTP Crona experiencing a soul rejection, screaming in agony because of not being able to deal with figuring out if "video games are art" or "video games aren't art" is the more contrarian oppinion at the moment

ENTP Crona reading shizophrenia symptoms on google "Wow, he is literally me"

ENTP Crona fleeing into the desert, going down a hole to cry

Ragnarok "Wait, the cow already killed Medusa a year ago, why we doing this bitch shit again?"

ENTP Crona "I posted a deliberately controversial and edgy meme into the group chat again, when they all see it, I wont be able to deal with how angry everyone will be..."

Soul: "You cant just nonstop spam shit on the internet, people will think you don't have a life"

ENTP Crona: "But I kinda don't..."

Soul: "Still writting on every single subject for 10 hours straight must be tiring and exhaustive, take a break"

ENTP Crona: "But I wrote everything in the last 5 minutes

Soul: "Heh, dont like partys either? Guess reading the room can be stressful even for somebody as cool as me sometimes-"

ENTP Crona "No, I can read it just fine, just then choose to say the thing that sets the roof on fire and regret it five seconds later.

ENTP Crona trying to figure out if Maka subscribes to the theory that Holden is a child abuser himself in "The Catcher in the Rye", only if yes, to arguee that not even the creep teacher was one and it is a misreading, and its actually about idk, read it in school so cant even come up with an explantion.

ENTP Crona trying to cheer up a crying Maka, after she got made fun of for liking bad music by Soul

"No, I like Speeding bullet 2 heaven too! Well except the Beavis and Butthead skits, even I am not that contrarian"

ENTP Crona curled up in the corner of the dark dungeon, not able to face the world, cause liking Ringo Star is to mainstream now but changing to hating him is just too painful...

ENTP Crona after everyone gets confronted with their lives just being fiction

"Well actually I prefere the anime ending"

But after mostly everyone agrees

"But, actually the manga works in a certain way afterall-"

ENTP Crona during the anime only scene where Maka and Crona talk about Maka's mom - its the same scene lol, remember those 4th wall breaking snide comments Crona barely managed to not blabber out loud lol

ENTP Crona "Marvel movies were allways bad"

Marie "Oh you aren't dumb and incompetent!"

ENTP Crona "Why did it took me 8 hours to put together the IKEA table?"

Marie "Oh dont be to hard on yourself, screwing in the table legs upside down could happen to anybody!"

Maka confronting Medusa: I'm here to save ENTP Crona and Mary!

Medusa: Nah, they both are still stuck in the maze going in circles

ENTP Crona after a tourist asks for directions in Death City: "I'll be honest, even though I am living here for years now, I myself cant deal finding my home without google maps"

ENTP Crona "I'm the Joker, baby! (Jared Leto version)"

ENTP Crona "-oh so a glorbo, or smol bean, cinamon bun is a charachter like Paulie from the Sopranos!"

ENTP Crona after trying to read "Finnegans Wake" "Damn, thats how high I still have to climb..."

ENTP Crona watching X:RA "Wow, I actually get 90 percent of the wordplay! This show is great!"

MGMT Patty : "Time to pretend..."

*ENTP Crona visualising all the different ways to take out and kill the people around*

Ragnarok "And I thought I was the psychopath! We aren't even eating souls anymore, whats guipi wrong with you?

ENTP "Grocery shopping is boring and I thought about the 3 different storys I'll never write down enough for one hour..."

ENTP Crona "-and that's why the metodology that is used to diagnose diseases by only relying on a checklist of data points that may have many different origin points is flawed

Stein "I am the doctor with 10 years experience, take your antibiotics prescription and get out!"

Stein, litting a cigarete after ENTP Crona goes out after apologising "Damn, the kid may be right, shit..."

ENTP Crona be like "Actually, I think Epstein is still alive"

ENTP Crona "Yeah Myerrs brigs and Horrorscopes are the same... Because they both actually are describing something and aren't completly wrong, if you know you know...

ENTP Crona actually getting a tatoo even though it is a stupid thing to do in general, because thats the only way to remember Maka's birthday. Cause aint nobody remembering more than 4 digits...

ENTP Crona using all experience and time to reflect, to start a dramatic uplifting speech that leads into Maka defeating the Kishin with a punch- Ah wait thats just what happened in the anime again lol

ENTP Crona: "I wore a dress for most of my life, yet that is not as embarassing as riding on an electric scooter"

ENTP Crona "Oh ofcourse I'm to scatterbrained and lazy to actually finish a webcomic, that's why I included an in universe callout by a charachter, so I will stay motivated out of spite and want of being better than those, proving the mean pixels wrong!"

ENTP Crona: -the setting being the aftermath of a nuclear testing site is a brilliant synedoche of our society pre and post world war 2, how the atomic age is nearly unrecognisable, being both so much more advanced that previous incarnations do not even look human in retrospect, while exagerating ourselfs into cartoon versions of ourselfs do to paranoia and stereotypes, shared faster and faster, that we soak up like Sponges, being the perfect worker and consumer in one - in a way thats Rock Bottom, the breakdown of communication, only restored by recognising the humanity of the other, even if they look at us with even more potent disgust than we already do.

Maka: Wait, I thought these iceberg videos were just supposed to list of fun facts and triva about Spongebob

ENTP Crona: What gave you that idea, Maka?

TERF Maka: I STILL hate J K Rowling

EC: "Borat is racist-"

M: "No the joke is that he exposes the prejudices of the common american person-"

EC "against Kazakhstanis"

M: "No no- wait... you are right..."

EC: "If MF Ghost was with the culture, it would have used Phonk instead of Eurobeat"

EC: "Where the fuck is Marioh Judah?"

*EC annoys excalibur into quitting*

EC :"Im like prince, everybody thinks In gay but actually im homophobic-"

EC: "Non-cellular phones actually had their purpose - like if somebody called them, you would either know nobody is home, or the person who answered could either inform you where the one you are calling is if you didnt reach the person or just find them - also the fact it was in the same spot ment nobody lost it and could allways find it when needed and it never ran out of battery, also-"

M: "If you don't like the phonecase I gifted you just say so...

R: "Dude, dont we still use mirrors for comunication"

EC "Think Im constrained by the limitations of canons?"

TRAD Tsubaki "Well they didn't make a sign of the cross in the church, so they kinda deserved being slayn by Ragnarok..."

M "Hey you are looking down, everything ok?

EC "Thanks for caring, but the thing is, to explain it all, all the connections and reasons and evidence would make me just look more weird and whiny, and this all, including the fact that I cant even say why I cant say without being whiny and long winged is part of it...

EC "I used trouble not descending into negative loops of self pity and disgust with myself and the world... But then I just developed a hyperfixation on not-having-hyperfixations"

???? Death: IDK

EC *reading the bible* "It even predicted people obssesing over lolcows with the whole golden calf story, damn...

EC: Rip Kissinger

EC: Slouching? No, I'm just posture-divergent

EC: I do love myself - one has to love even their biggest enemy...

EC in the future:

M: Are you really ready for children?

EC: I accidentally watched a trailer for despicable me 4, and after hearing all the pandering 80s song and repetitive family hinjix humor I just thought "Oh, how cozy would this be to watch with my Kids and Wife!"

So yeah, I CAN deal with it

[generic-doomsday-villain]

(if any of this sounds like nonsense keep in mind this all happened on the nintendo switch edition of legacy mc, and it was during 2019 - 2020 im p sure)

does anyone else remember on legacy mc where they didnt have chat so you had to talk using signs n renaming items & when friends (or friends of friends) would make worlds that were like pvp lobbies since the closest legacy had to stuff like hypixel hive lifeboat etc was the minigames. they always had a “no fighting in the lobby” rule but it was always broken since there was no way to turn off pvp without leaving the game, and if the owner of the game left then the world/server would shut down

everytime i see something talking about legacy/console edition nostalgia its always about the atmosphere and minigames and never about this stuff and idk if only nintendo switch legacy players experienced this or if its just that nobodys talking about it. i remember even when i got the bedrock (new at the time) edition of mc on the switch i went back to playing legacy almost immediately bc my switch friends were more active on there

i can also still remember a numerous amount of experiences i went through

at LEAST 2 times on those player-made minigame servers (worlds w “friends of friends joining” or “friends joining” on) the admins went crazy and started killing everyone in the lobby for no reason

i used to have this world that had a hotel and it had at least 11 floors

i remember way back when i first started playing multiplayer me and a bunch of others started blowing up this guys giant iron-block house for no reason (im p sure i started it)

i was best friends with this guy who was named bepis (or at least he was named that when i first met him) n we played together alot, he used the creeper skin mainly + he was like if a “omg i love anime waifus” stereotype and a “tiktok is so cringe i hate furries” stereotype mixed together, he ended up leaving permanently later but he set his discord as his name incase i ever got it (i got it like 2 years later but by then i didnt ((and still dont)) wanna refriend him + i forgot his username)

one time i joined a random tumble minigame and there were about 2 or 3 other people there and they were. REALLY aggressive w me. like idk what it was they were probably using the force of The Evil Skull against me or something those snowballs hit hard as FUCK. then after the round was over they kicked me for some reason

this is just me rambling on about how i kinda miss legacy nintendo console edition multiplayer & how i never see anyone talk about this kinda stuff w legacy edition nostalgia but feel free to read/respond if u want !!!!!

[knize-strachkvas]

so under the influence of local anaesthetics and pretty strong painkillers, i made the very questionable decision to watch fantasy boys. it was a mistake and you're going to suffer with me.

first things first. i dont think the editing is bad? surprisingly it doesn't look like they are trying to evil edit some trainees? which is surprising and it also shows how low the bar is lmao (im looking at you mnet).

the first two eps were okay. they showed a lot of performances without evil editing them that much? i hated the way they made myungjae look incompetent but he was the only one used for the drama value? i think? as i said i was not really focused while i was watching it lol. also the way they sorted them to the grades using the id card was very dramatic and i like the idea

the most questionable thing is the dorm situation. that one trainee saying it look like the squid game room was not far from the truth lmao. them sleeping in one big room is just creepy, especially when they don't really switch the light off during the night in the halls?? i would not be able to fall asleep in such an open space. and them having to spend their free time there? nope NOPE :D

their idea for the visual battle was cool. them knowing only the visual concept and choosing without knowing the song was evil. and the songs seemed equally impactful. whoever chose them did a good job.

now the participants. maybe im just way too old but why does it seems like the majority of the trainees have an extremely huge ego? i know that this is survival show and pretending you are better than you actually are and creating an interesting persona is literally part of their job but boiiiii its so annoying? i have zero interest in stanning a 15yo who thinks they're best at absolutely everything while lacking a basic human decency. idk im just not vibing with this attitude. most of the teams had very bad teamwork bc they are all self-centric and not able to cooperate with the rest of the team. they are all there to become a part of a boy group. that's literally an endless group project where you need to be in close proximity with your teammates 24/7. sounds like hell but as far as i know they all went there willingly.

mentioning annoying participants, it's time for the defenestration team, also known as the participants somebody should throw out of the window as the human garbage they are. the honourable members of this excellent team are the stealer team (except for ivan, ling qi and wooseok) and ksoul. the stealer team is here for obvious reasons. they are a bunch of xenophobic idiots. yes, if you're already debuted idol in korea and you can't speak korean at all - that would be a problem. but neither of the chinese boys was already debuted idols and they still have time to perfect their korean. they were just a bunch of insecure meanies who were jealous that some foreign kids were better than them. and with ksoul. god, i can't stand the kid. well....kid. uhm how old is he really? that's the real question here lmao. anyway, ksoul is an annoying, arrogant and self-centred jerk that does not have an ounce of will to cooperate in his body. that boy is not fit to be in a boy group consisting of 12 members. he needs to be permanently the centre of attention, being the best and not having any competition. having him in a team would be a punishment to the rest of the team.

other trainees i would love to talk about santa and yacht (no i will not call him yaya). wabi sabi what the actual fuck. why. i have so many questions. (ksoul immediately knowing who they are was the only funny thing ksoul did on that show). with santa, i kinda get it. he is good, his skills on the same level as some of the other trainees and there is a potential for him to blend together perfectly. but yacht? he is the oldest here and his skills are lacking in every way possible. i read somewhere that yacht is there just to accompany santa and that sounds about right to me. them leading the global voting even before the 1st ep airing just showed that having a solid fanbase (consisting mainly of bl fans) can do a lot. the ranking was not deserved at ALL, especially yacht's. (would also like to mention that being on a survival show and having to communicate constantly in a language you're not familiar with is hard and all the foreign trainees are brave for going for it. the stealer team situation just proves it. and the fact that they actually show it there is a miracle.)

right now (ep4) this is my top 12. surprisingly, after only 4 episodes, there are a lot of trainees that are a good choice for the debuting team. it's more about not letting the red flags (aka the defenestration team) debut and not giving them more attention than is necessary. top3 caught my attention during 1st episode (i knew junwon from &audition), the rest of them did great during the visual battle, especially jinho, seunghyun and myungjae.

okay that's it for now. can't believe i now need to watch eight (?) more episodes. i love to make myself suffer :))

[ashtonsunshine]

I mean i liked checking it out and pretty much was into it idk jobless 💀 (but im glad im changing i literally ignore these stuff now as much as can... still nosey but its getting better lol).

Unfortunately i just like to know shit but after a while it sounds weird and almost repetition of the same things that happened long time ago.

I don't get the ones that try to do or change something about things like those are strangers to you ykwim? Just reading the gossip is a thing but trying to intervene like... what are you going to do? 😭

And it got really weird like doxxing and shit so thats not right... specially with a baby on the way its just too much (like weirdos wishing harm on a baby?!!? absolutely insane!)

Realizing to focus on what you actually like is way better and more fun.

But i always notice how ashton does the most for this fandom yet he's always the most hated in these type of blogs, it just breaks my heart he's very passionate about what he does and he gets shitted on for it, being called pretentious for showing his love... does he get a lil silly goofy? Yes but it's sweet idk what ppl see and make up something negative from it and when he uses big words? Lol i like adding new words to my vocabulary that i'll probably never use.

Sorry this is very long and honestly you dont have to answer this but i just was so much in (surprised im not blocked 💀) and then one day i was like well.. this is stupid and annoying so i kinda stopped.

Saw you went to a 5sos show days ago i hope you had a great time 🤍 and again you dont have to answer this at all but your post got me thinking a little... one of the first ppl i followed on here and i think your hello/goodmorning posts are very sweet and the way you always post them is sweeter. i hope you are having a great day/night from wherever you are 👍🏻

I understand the human need to know and be nosy, but I've learnt that sometimes it's better to be ignorant in order to be happy and enjoy things in peace.

I see this dynamic at work every day. People gossip about others because they have this need of talking shit for no reason other than being low-key jealous of their colleagues' workplace situation. It's as if people are envious of other's happiness and become petty about it.

Drama and gossip are addicting. It's like an adrenaline rush. But, ultimately, like every addiction, it starts consuming you from within and disrupting your life.

I'll never understand how some people have so much energy to run these types of accounts that harbour so much negativity, when some days I don't even have energy to exist right.

I've read so much shit about this band over the last decade on the internet, and you're right, Ashton somehow always gets it worse simply because he refuses to play the game and chooses to be himself no matter what. Him and his big words, and his sarcasm, and his snarky comments. It's one of the reasons I love him. Fuck everyone! Be yourself and the right people will come to you and stay with you.

But you know what makes my skin crawl? When the blogs are like "free speech", as if free speech means you're allowed to say whatever you want without consequences. It angers me when people use free speech as an excuse to be unpleasant and mean, because that's not what free speech is. Free speech means you can't be jailed for voicing an opinion; not that you can't be a target of criticism for it.

Only people who haven't had the right of free speech taken away from them do that. There was a heavy dictatorship in my country until 1974 where people would be grabbed on the streets by undercover state police if they gathered in groups larger than three and questioned for conspiracy against the government. Some people were tortured. Some people disappeared. Others were killed. All that for voicing an opinion. My parents lived through this shit, so I don't take my right of free speech lightly, and neither should any of you.

I'm getting political now, so I'm gonna go.

Thank you for the sweet words. 🫶🏻 I'm glad you're out of that dark place.

[dutchwinter]

MUSIC ASK GAMEEE i send multiple... for artist, thursday.. for album, past lives.. and for song, king of swords (reversed) by the dear hunter :) mwah (- ry funeralend)

well of course im familiar with thursday...

Favourite Song: turnpike divides. where would i be without this fucking song i swear. tomorrow ill be u is number 2 though

Least Favourite Song: uh idk man. we will overcome? i just never really was into it.. i dont hate it though!!!!!

Favourite Album: no devolucion... the only thursday album i dont own on cd LMFAO.

Least Favourite Album: a city by the light divided BUT I LOVE THIS ALBUM SO MUCH PLEASE PLEASE they dont have an album i dislike at ALL

Song that got me into them: my first song was jet black new year and i was like ouughughu okay.. okayy... this is gonna be forever now. then i listened to 4 more and i was like okay im in it. [those 4 being paris in flames, tomorrow ill be you, turnpike divides, and signals over the air]

Seen Live?: nooooo AUGUGUHGUH last tour when they were with cursive and anthony they came near on december 5... which is a day after my birthday and was absolutely doable... i will never forgive myself for not going i swear.. ive told this story MANY times but ill tell it again because UAGUH biggest regret ever

Rate: to ask me this is to. idk. if 10s the highest then 10 fr.

past lives my absolute beloved only album in existence. ever

Opinion on cover design: classic unforgettable etc etc [its been out since november] i love it. its so simple but can be so recognizable if you know it. easy to remember. memorable. helll yeah

Favourite song: 2022. forever and ever

Least favourite song: idk like forever?? but that song is my everything. so i cant pick really. i guess its just my least listened??

Underrated track: bombsquad JUSTICE FOR BOMBSQUAD. and antibodies. no one talks about antibodies.

Overrated track: i dont really know but i guess grey veins. its very loved but its kind of easy to get tired of because of howw muchh it repeats the chorus. this makes it sound like i dont like this song but i dont even a little like i still love it with all my heart.

Rate: literally 10 like?? what elese am i supposed to say.

i have never heard anything by the dear hunter but honestly have been meaning to bc of u... lets see this..

okayy this is so fun. i wonder what their other stuff sounds like... interesting so interesting..

i clicked on the first thing that came up after searching 'the dear hunter' on youtube and yeagghh this is good ill have to get into this

fuck the ask games rating system. i really liked this but i usually dont loooove songs the first time i hear them so ill have to re listen to see how i truly feel. its def stuck in my head rn even if dont really remember that much of it.

mwah mwah mwah

BIG MUSIC ASK GAME

[ghost-of-the-machine]

i feel. like bad? i need to get it off my chest!!!!

soo. okay i

i avoided my friends for like.. almost a month i guess. 22 days, the only reason i know that is cuz she counted. i didnt think she would, and i feel.. so much conflict. im avoidant when she brings it up, i dont wanna talk about it cuz i know she wont like what i have to say

she got drunk one night, like *really* drunk and she shared with me some pretty real feelings she probably wouldnt have otherwise. it hurt me, but i know she was hurting too. she *insisted* i speak about it, like. VERBALLY, anyone who knows me knows i fall short there. i

things have just been the way that they were for so long, i guess when it changed it was jarring maybe? ive been the loser. we're all losers, but i was the only one in my entire friend group who didnt have other friends outside of said friend group, but now i do!! and it makes me feel so happy, that i have so many friends i love so dearly yknow? but it makes me feel bitter that she doesnt like that

do you know how embarrassing it was? anytime i THOUGHT i had something good, id go and ramble happily about someone who i didnt realize id be LOSING in the next few months. embarrassing, shameful! but not this time

i guess me talking about it made her feel scared, but it upset me, because she got really upset when i told her i love all my friends equally.. i guess she didnt wanna hear that someone i met less than a year ago could be someone i love as much as her, which i get. i get how it sounds, but its not like that!! i love them UNIQUELY. she brings me things they dont, they bring me things she doesnt, im content and balanced and thankful for all of it

i handled it. poorly, i feel like i handled it poorly but i dont blame myself too much, im not known for this skill i guess. she started crying and it? it was like a joke at first but she was emotional cuz of the alcohol and it very quickly became not a joke, its the first time ive like.. heard her cry? and i felt bad that it was my fault and i really dont know how to comfort someone like that, its not a social skill i have upfront!!! over text its easy to collect my thoughts, but verbally? too much mental energy is being used on holding a conversation alone. but i also dont feel bad because its not WRONG for me to love my friends equally, i dont blame her for how she felt ofc

i didnt think i mattered so much to her, i guess. but she told me about it, and it made me... uncomfortable. like, TERRIBLY uncomfortable. thats why i did it, why i started focusing somewhere else. i came back suddenly, they were in the middle of playing a game and it felt so.. alien? like. it made me feel sick, this is my HOME and i felt like a stranger almost. i know 22 days isnt so long, but. idk, ive tried to keep in better contact, we are playing the games now, as we should!! but the truth is that after knowing it hurt her when i talked about my other friends, i just.. stopped talking about them, but i do things with them EVERYDAY, thats my day!! if i cant talk about them, i have nothing to say i guess

its bittersweet, ive sorta gotten back to being the unhinged loser they enjoy having around ig but i still dont talk as much as before, i dont want to because i dont wanna hurt her yknow? im HAPPY. im happy, so happy

she said she felt ashamed feeling the way she did, said she hates that shit but its still how she feels, i dont blame her. honestly?? its giving bpd like MY PERSONAL OPINION... with the way she described how she felt about me, i think shes one of us but. that adds a whole other layer, the discomfort i felt, is that how i make people feel? when im obsessed with them? when i feel like i cant exist without them? it feels so wrong to say things like this, shes my best friend, ive known her for years.. its just. we dont do emotions, i guess? and i think thats wrong of me cuz she expressed that she wanted it like that, she wanted to be open and vulnerable, and i didnt like it!!! we can do it over text sure, but.. sit and talk with me? she dmed me the other day saying like 'dommm we should vc, i wanna get drunk and have therapy again while you give me good advice'. i ignored her text, on purpose. usually its NEVER on purpose, if i dont respond you can bet like 100% i clicked the message, read it and then went back to what i was doing because i was distracted, or i have a really bad tendency of THINKING my replies and not actually sending them and being like yep. social interaction well done. but no, i ignored it on purpose. anytime she asks us "guys, yes or no..." i say no, cuz i know the question is if she should drink or not. i know she'll still drink anyways, i just leave early, pretend my new sleep schedule is the reason why, pretend im tired because it makes me uncomfortable still

im not good at it!!! i cant give her what she needs like THAT.. i cant have her sit there and tell me all her problems and cry, i CANT because i dont know how to handle it! like i genuinely have no idea how to handle that at all. over text i could probably manage just fine, but she wanted me to sit there, wanted my camera on and everything.. i felt like i really? i mean i TRIED, i did my best, i listened to her, i can always do that.. the problem is she wants advice, you will not get advice from me if im forced to physically speak. so i just feel like i let her down, yknow? i dont know

ive backed myself into a corner probably, im too scared to be open cuz she tends to forget the things she says when shes drunk, so maybe she doesnt remember telling me how she feels about me? i guess theres an added layer of discomfort, because like. when we were 18 i think? she drunkenly confessed that she had a crush on me and it felt really.. ive never seen her differently for that, you can absolutely trust. shes my best friend and i never pushed her away despite those feelings, i just had to tell her i didnt feel the same and it never came up again, and we've been fine! but, knowing how she feels about me now? it makes me uncomfortable because of that, its hard to describe. idk its a lot of mixed feelings!!!! nothing i could ever tell her, probably

and it made me feel horrible for all the times ive ever talked fondly about my friends, or the times i was breaking down so badly over them that i had no choice but to cry and wail in my channel, knowing literally only one of them probably would respond (which was true, they talked me thru it a little bit). thats where our emotional talk ends. i dont want to be emotional with someone i know physically, it stresses me out!!!! yes i love you so much, you are my entire world!! ill kiss yr hair and hands and we can cuddle, we can spend a whole day together and go out to eat, we can sit at home and play games, we can do all of it! but.. online its easy, im words on a screen. physically?

i hate to feel GUTTED. i hate feeling vulnerable, i hate feeling EXPOSED. that first time i went to therapy for fucking GENDER DYSPHORIA and our first session was *wasted*, wasted because i had to tell my mom that i wanted to kill myself. sinking in my stomach. all those times ive had traumatic response to them fighting, the fucking scars because of that, the times my family have seen the scars. IM TIRED imf ucking tired, i hate to feel that way. i hate being exposed i hate having my heart on display i hate it all!!! i hate someone knowing something about me, i wont let myself be pressured into sharing trauma and details, i want it SECRET. share yr trauma with me, thats FINE, but its like. idk i wanted that call to end to fast, it was completely out of my comfort zone and i feel GUILTY for that. im averse to change, i really hate change actually. i made a whole post talking about our dynamic and how i adored it, and then it was sorta flipped on its head? i stopped playing that little dragon game on roblox cuz i was playing that while we were talking and anytime i fly around looking for chests, the memory of that conversation comes back to me. i want to forget

we fit like a glove, we're back to how we always have been when we talk, but.. she mentioned it the other day. thats how i knew i was avoidant for 22 days, she told me she counted. i felt bad, cuz i hoped she wouldnt notice. i couldnt think of anything to say, other than "well.. i was monster hunting idk man" and she sounded upset with me when i said it. we moved on quickly but. im not made for that. what did she want me to say? whatever she wanted, i clearly didnt say it. idk i just feel lost, feel stuck and the worst thing?

i dont want to be exposed to anyone but them. like THATS the thing, maybe if i didnt have them then id be fine with it, but.. it makes me uncomfortable, feels like betrayal. they can see that side of me, no one else can because i dont WANT anyone else to. i trust them, i feel safe enough to be vulnerable around them, its a big step for me and one that i dont take lightly. its not her fault i dont feel safe, and lord knows i trust her!!! its just.. different. opening up is hard, i feel more.. understood? i guess you could say. idk its just. hard to describe. i love my friends so much, but my friendships are all UNIQUE and thats why i love them. talking to either is fulfilling!!! incredibly, in very different ways but still!

idk it just sucks i guess, it makes me sad that me talking about my happiness is a sore spot for her, ive never been happier in my whole life!!! but i know it probably hurts her that it wasnt her that gave me that happiness. theres nothing i can do about that!! she makes me happy in another way, one exclusive to her. we are so sillay in vc, its FUN i have so much fun with her, but i think that.. maybe by telling her that a while ago, i fucked up. i shouldnt have told her she was my BEST best friend, i shouldnt have i just get.. natural tendency to tell people what they want, avoid conflict.

it feels like it established an accidental conflict, one no one else knows about. did i make her think i loved her more than my friend? or my other friend? like it makes me sick, but you cant just BACK TRACK. i cant just say actually? like i love them also yknow. cuz that would hurt her probably, its like im fucked no matter what!!! sure we ahve good chemistry in vc, the best chemistry in that whole friend group when vcing, but? i used to refer to one of them as my spouse like. MUTUALLY, we were married platonically okay. the other one? i love him so much hes so silly and . GRGR like. i just hate this idea, but its all my fault it exists. no backbone. i love my friends EQUALLY. i have a lot of love to give everyone, it would hurt me so badly if i wasnt loved equally, thats why i love the way i do. i even told her, im INSISTENT with it. i refuse to love inequally, it would hurt people and i hate that!!! but. i hurt her regardless, its. IDK man its a lot im just airing this out, she'll never see this, none of them will. good

we can move on from this, we mostly already have. im just scared i might have to put my foot down a bit, and tell her that it made me uncomfortable, i dont want to put her in that situation but if we get there then we get there. we'll be okay im sure

[academicweaponintraining]

ermm what the flip dude!! um yea so im starting this blog bc 2 of my friends have blogs but im too lazy to do coding stuff so im just gonna have a tumblr :3 anyway today was actually fun because m wasnt here today so i didnt have to sit with her! lunch was actually pretty fun today bc d sat with me since her table was full, and then k and z sat with us too bc mrs w is SO strict during lunch for literally no reason.. d and me talked for the whole time but k and z mainly just talked with themselves, but they talked to me a couple of times. i literally DONT know what to do bc i can not sit with m for the rest of the year. its so boring everyday. and literally no one gets that i cant just leave her, because she would be sitting all alone! like i cant just leave her to sit alone. p doesnt get it, every time i say something about not being able to leave her shes like "just leave anyway, its not your responsibility to sit with her" and i guess thats true but I WOULD STILL FEEL BAD!!11!!!!1!

tw sewer slide

ok im literally SO scared bc i just read a's blog and (1) she relapsed again and (2) shes seriously thinking of k ing herself. i LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. because even if i wanted to tell someone who would i tell? the school counselor would probably just call her parents and im not doing that to a, her parents are like bad... but if i dont tell someone its basically my fault if she goes through with doing it. Ughhh i wish there was some way to make her life better because i just care abt her alot. genuinely dont know how i would be able to live without her, shes like the only good thing abt school. i dont know what to do because i care about her so much and i realy really dont want her to go but at the same time i just want her to be free of everything shes going through. but that makes it sound liike i dont care if she does it?? and i do!!! UGHHH I HATE THIS dude. i wish i could make eveyrhting better but i cant.

end of tw i just dont want to think abt this

bruh i wish one of my friends would update their blogs bc i think a is mad at me bc i didnt talk to her for some of the time we were at a basketball game. dude i dont know why but im so paranoid all the time that my friends are talking abt me. like im scared of a and s's messages because what if theytalk about me. ughhhhhhhh. lemme talk about something bc i dont get why its annoying me. so bascially this girl in my grade, she has like so many guys who like her and shes already gone out with a guy in our grade. and theres another guy who likes her and she likes him back and i dont know why but it makes me pissed. idk why cuz i dont have a crush on either of them.. idk i dont want to be mean but its so annoying how many people like her. like i know if i was pretty like her people would like me more. that reminds me earlier i was talking to d about how i better glow up this summer ( i HAVE to you dont get it) and she said that she would bully me into it if i wanted her to. she was joking but likeee maybe ill take her up on that offer. not literally bc i dont want my head shoved dwn the toilet ro something but i wanna ask her what i can do to be prettier. d is a very no bs girl so i feel like shell tell me the truth and she wont be like "nooo ur so pretty stop". i feel like some girls would def do that. honestly though my main problems i dont think can actually be solved, but here are my issues:

fat face

bad jawline

thin lips

gappy teeth

glasses

assymetrriacal eyes

yea i can only really change the bad jawline one...

anyway this blog was prob speled really badly and i should go to sclepp. bye blog:3

[wired-migraine]

look i know i dont vent as often on here anymore just cause im really trying to get out of this habit where i reread and rethink the same bad thought process over and over

but every time and i do mean EVERY time i bring up something my friend doesn't exactly know or i guess care about he just doesn't bother showing interest. or shits on it without going into detail why.

like today i brought up detroit become human. its whatever! not my favorite but i liked the story of Alice and Kara and also Hank and Conner. but i really LOVEd the story of sentience and coming to be. not really gameplay oriented or even really story oriented. i just brought it up and said i liked it.

my god i've heard nothing but "game didn't know what it wanted to be, the stories and characters are trash, i only liked hank cause he's the fuckin poster badass" so of course i shut up i stop talking about it cause clearly he doesn't want to talk about it. back to this fuckin streamer named destiny.

but this has happened so many times. only with things i bring up. even when i express interest in the first half (oh its not so bad i actually liked-!) it doesn't go well. we somehow always circle back to things he wants to talk about. one time i tried to talk about pokemon and he just shut that conversation down the same way, said magic was better and more strategic. fuck off i dont care about magic i want to talk about anything else for five seconds!! i'd give more direct examples but honestly i think i blocked out most of what he says and just go to the "uh huh, yeah, they did what now?" cyclical talking points

and im not gonna lie i'm getting pretty tired of it! i made fuckin vent art of me like a pull string doll just talking away! hanging on a lil back string. thats all im good for is an echo.

but i think the worst part about any of this is how GUILTY he makes me feel about it. im fr talking puppy dog eyes but i dont actually look at his face when he does it. he just makes the sound and lip thing you know the one. its gross tbh and it SUCKS because i skip my fucking break so he won't be so whiny about it. TO TALK ABOUT THE THINGS HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT

i hate it i really do. i know he's using me for therapy because he told me he wanted a female therapist. (also haven't talked about THAT either, i think we're only friends because i'm afab and a bit of a weirdo so that makes it like same league or something?? idk idc) he talks TOO much about sex and sexual activities to the point where regular conversations go back into lol i saw this anime... god i can't stand it i can tell im getting looks by the other people there because the room is too quiet i desperately need to leave this job.

he's also physical, mostly just by poking and prodding. he does hit me with a stack of papers as a joke but the jokes getting less funny. he's getting angry with how i respond. i know i can tell him to stop and he will but it'll just cycle back around to making me feel guilty that i should've told him sooner so he doesn't feel like an ass. like i guess yeah? but don't forget that you're the one that did this and i didn't feel safe telling you.

idk i just feel like as much as "good" friends we are he's desperate for attention and its really getting into my work. like i can tell when he looks at me and i hate it i hate having him just LOOK at me because and HE has told me that he had a dream of me naked. i hate it i hate it i want to burn off my skin it makes me feel so unbelievably small and worthless to be reduced to just my body and echos i hate this.

i really hate this and god forbid i tell ANYONE about it cause it comes on and off in passing and nothing will happen with it. i know i choose to sit in that fucking corner but what other option is there? because if i change if i so much as MOVE people will notice and they know we sit together and haha its so cute they're sitting NEXT to each other.

it honestly feels like i've been masking for three months and it only took the middle guy being fired to direct all this energy towards me and i hate it. i hate how i cant say no and can't talk about the things i like without feeling like a freak. i hate how he looks and straight up stares at me. i told him i can't look people in the eyes and talk at the same time and he took that as a challenge to stretch my comfort so thin that spider silk can't sew it shut.

thank god i still listen to music so i can at least focus on that (for the most part) but i can't even find respite in that because he keeps wanting that cyclical conversation that he knows i don't care about. i'm just playing the tape and hoping it wasn't a genuine question about my thoughts (it usually isn't)

[snekdood]

im sorry that i had to block you because this topic is pretty triggering for me and I was worried you were going to be like “all content is fine” and didn’t want to be around that energy. I usually try not to knee jerk react like that but in this case it was hard due to my trauma. I can tell this is going to be a hard conversation for me for that reason. and before i even talk about it i wanna say- idk anything about antis or proshippers or whatever tf bc i dont care about fandom stuff and I agree with your other post that reducing it to fandom nonsense is stupid bc I think it ignores actual meaningful conversations around this.

im also sorry if my comment made it sound like I was downplaying your experience with (still assuming: a community within?) tetris, I read your comment as if the game itself was the issue and not the (supposed? im sorry i just dk about your history in this regard (or if there was a community or what)) community, and I get your point but I’d argue colorful blocks =/= cp in its ability to harm people and its a rocky comparison imo. i do genuinely believe drawn images can harm people, even the person drawing it. but regardless, i’m sorry if I made your experience sound trivial, as that wasn’t my intention.

back into the subject though: i do think having stuff like that online is harmful. i agree a lot of the issue is adult spaces mixing with kids spaces, but I really do struggle to believe that seeing something like rape being glorified doesnt effect people, even if they’re adults. no people aren’t gonna go “whelp, time to rape people” as soon as they read something like that, but exposure over time to explicitly non con (not consentual non con) stuff i think does alter your perception of whats “okay”. its in fact the reason id argue my abusive ex ended up thinking its fine to cross peoples boundaries, because of how many times they repeatedly encountered that stuff either online or in their own art after discovering it online.

i just dont buy this idea that fiction never effects reality. fiction that glorifies certain actions without making it clear its bad in some way will embolden people. and while i dont think someone just. plays grand theft auto and starts shooting everyone and stealing their cars, i do believe it can make someone (subconsciously, obv no one directly thinks like this) questioning if they wanna be violent become violent because of how much “fun” it seems in the games or that it becomes “less of a big deal”.

I dont have a solution for moderating this stuff. and I’m also very against censoring things, I literally have a comic thats about a self insert whos a rape victim and going into that story, but bc I worry people will completely miss the point and end up fetishizing the rape, i’ve decided not to actually add anything in the comic that is directly read as rape, rather just hint at it, because honestly it also effects me on a very real level, it’s very triggering for me to see that kind of imagery (and its already hard for me to write the comic bc of the villain being a rapist and how triggering he is to me) but also because I think it could fundamentally alter someones perception of whats fine, especially if they already hate me.

it’s not like *all* depictions of certain things are bad but it depends on whether or not its glorifying that thing and not making it at all clear that its bad. the stuff i was exposed to as a kid explicitly suggested that it was fine and normal, and id argue a lot of fucked up porn online is that- there’s so much fucked up porn made by (likely) cishet dudes that glorifies raping/torturing/killing anime girls or whatever and I just struggle to believe its just an outlet for what they want to do, like i dont think theyre just “getting it all out” in the image, if anything, i think those drawings they make embolden them more. they draw them because they want to see that stuff happen, not because they want to avoid actually hurting people. i really doubt these dudes, if they had access to a girl they could easily over power, wouldn’t try some of that sort of shit on her, at the very least rape her.

I don’t know what the solution is, but i really do not think we need to make space for dudes like that. and i also think its just factually incorrect to say that fiction never effects reality. of course, fiction is born from reality, but its the fact that that subject material is now being spread to a wider audience that makes it effect reality.

I’m worried when this topic comes up that people think the internet should just be a “free for all” and that “anything should go”, that bc we experience censorship in queer spaces that suddenly means everything should be on the table “because conservatives hate us anyways so why not just let it all loose?”. that people will do a 180 from whatever a conservative does, as if that’s helpful in this instance. I do think theres stuff that shouldn’t be tolerated or accepted in our spaces. not saying you dont agree necessarily but thats my general worry about all of this. I really dont think its as revolutionary as people think to go “conservatives think im a horrible person anyways for being queer so that means fuck it all and all kinks are created equal now”, I really do think theres stuff we need to keep out of our community or at least try to, no matter what conservatives say. I think people really need to figure out how to divorce whatever conservatives think and feel from what they think is the best course of action. just because a conservatives does A doesnt mean we should do B, etc. I think thats an attitude that can actually be easily exploited by the right and used against us.

Idk. I have a lot of thoughts on this. All i know is i never want to encounter cp or the weird rape/torture/killing fetish’s some dudes online have. i also dont think there should be any spaces for that. if people NEED to draw it for whatever reason (gonna be hard to convince me they NEED to, but) then they need to keep it to themselves. i dont think there needs to be communities built around this because those communities specifically with the dudes is gonna breed people who are even more misogynistic and who feel even more entitled to womens bodies since they have so many other guys around them agreeing with them. and no, not letting them build public communities isnt going to change or fix the problem, but it sure as hell will prevent people from having to encounter that shit and have their trauma be retriggered.

I want to be clear that I dont think this is necessarily what you’re advocating for, im not entirely sure what you think is the best course of action, but it feels like thats what some ppl on here thinks is the best solution, and that attitude worries me so much.

i will say though that i dont think the government, at least the current USA christofash one we live under, should be moderating this stuff, because they’re obviously just gonna ban content they disagree with (but thats a whole other topic). I at the very least distrust any of our current governments moves to censor things.

and i have once comment in regards to this comment:

obviously ideally we would live in a world where kids aren’t able to access that stuff, but even so, I really do think theres shit that people just shouldnt be posting, because it does effect other adults negatively too, speaking from experience. its not something i know if we can fully moderate but its something i dont think we should just let slide. i also just dont understand why anyone would feel the need to post their rape porn or whatever, anyways.

I think a lot of the issues around this “censorship” thing really falls back into who’s doing the censoring and why. bc while ppl like me might want to be more nuanced about it, the current people who have more power lean more into puritanism and decide all sexual content is bad. It really does feel like an issue of preventing puritanical christian bs from infiltrating our politics, yet again (its always the puritanical christian bs 🙄) and the ppl holding those values having more power and control over the content. idk. i hope this makes sense, ik its kinda all over the place. and im sorry for kneejerk reacting the way I did initially.

Hey, I'm a big time fan of your blog and the circle of blogs similar to it. I love the pro-kink stuff, I love the support of transfun and the general concept that you can vibe with whatever gender and identity you want, I love the positivity, I love bringing attention to trans masc issues.

But I've been seeing some alarming dogwhistles lately. And I've been ignoring them because I really really want to just believe that they were unintentional. But with a recent post you reblogged, I have to ask you something - not out of discourse reasons or to paint you a specific way but because I want to decide what type of people I interact with on tumblr. If you decide to answer my question, please be incredibly clear. I'm not going to hide it behind vague terms like "certain kinks" or "problematic media", I am going to also be incredibly clear.

Do you genuinely believe that if we were in a society where fictional child porn and incest was the norm, that it would have no negative effects on our society as a whole? That media does not represent or change our cultural norms, that fiction can not be used as either propaganda nor as a way to help someone see things in a new light (for better or worse)?

Please be straightforward in your response. Even if it's just a yes or no.

that's a tough question. a quick but unnuanced answer is that I know the meanings behind these when I reblog them, and I do so because I agree with their general messages

the longer answer is... if these things were the norm then people would definitely be interacting with it differently than they do now I think. in some ways they already are somewhat normal, schoolgirl costumes and step-family roleplay come to mind.

ideally, in a world where these fantasies are completely normalized so is education on consent and safety. I don't think there's any real uncomplicated answer to it. but in the world we live in now, as long as things are labeled and not put into spaces where they're inappropriate, there's not really as much harm as some people just feeling uncomfortable

even if these things magically disappeared entirely (which they won't, and as someone with OCD I'd rather have them labeled than out in the wild), they still aren't the source of harm

I said it earlier, but I was groomed with the game tetris. under this framework of media causing harm, where do you go from there? it's a game about blocks, should we ban it and legos too for good measure?

sorry for talking so much when you wanted a short answer, but there's so much nuance here and I like explaining context instead of putting just a little bit of my thoughts out

[dballzposting]

How much do you think Trunks missed Goten during GT?

He was up there in space and he didnt want to be a downer so he never said it outloud but occasionally while he was steering the ship for long periods of time in complete solitude he would think about how if they failed then the earth and the whole universe would be fucked and before their imminent demise he would have to live with Goku and Pan on some planet somewhere, or die early trying to fight whatever beast was inevitably coming their way. And well that thought just sort of sucked.

He missed everybody and everything but he missed Goten specifically in the way that cool shit would happen and he had nobody to tell it to :( he couldnt just pull out his phone and be like "Hey Goten. Youre never gonna believe this. There was this frog guy and he tried to marry me. Yeah MARRY ME. Yeah I had to dress up as a bride but it was okay because it spared a real woman from an arranged marriage with that big green thing. Yeah it was righteous of me. Yeah and then we got a dragon ball and then this OTHER GUY SHOWED UP and STOLE IT. Yeah and now we're chasing those guys. Yeah uh huh. yeah I'll let them know you said that. Yeah for sure. Okay. Take care. Bye man."

Again he didnt want to be a downer but he really missed the little things about home .... all the room to walk around in .... the nice meals ..... the sound of his mother tinkering in one of the many garages .... the sound of his father fucking shit up in the gravity chamber ..... the peace of his office (which he normally hated).... his sister's stupid Nintendogs game that she always played at full volume .....the way that he could exist without being subjected to a gas leak all day..... The sound of Goten pissing really hard in the urinal next to him (with his pants on the floor ass fully bare) and he would piss so hard that it was to the point where Trunks would often take the next urinal down becasue he was afraid of splashback .... sighhhhh.

Anyway he makes a best friend out of Giru so it's not a big deal. He comes home and is like "Hey Goten meet my new best friend" and Goten is like "haha you mean like your SPACE Best Friend right? Like the guy who is your best friend when youre space traveling but not all the time right....Your spaceship buddy right" and Trunks is like "Nope. This is my new best friend Giru :D" and then he kisses the robot deeply and with passion on its glass face and Goten is flooded with a toxic amount of jealousy so fast that his muscles and bones begin to melt and he starts shaking and he goes "haha well gimme a minute i gotta go blast ass real quick...i'll be back..." and then he runs to the bathroom and pukes his guts out.

Later he assumes that it was all a misunderstanding so he goes to talk to Trunks again and he overhears him talking to the robot and Trunks says "Youre a much better best friend than Goten. You dont pee or spit at me and you never smell like dog food. You only smell like metal and burning wires and sometimes chrome polish, and I'm into it. And you're quiet when you sleep and you actually listen to me when I talk. Also, you've forgiven me for when I had space madness and I kept trying to breastfeed you. If that were Goten instead he never would have let me live it down. He would probably keep trying to get me to do it again honestly. And honestly Giru, I would do that again for you because I have fond memories. And I love that you eat the spare nuts and screws and wires that end up at the bottom of my bags and on my floors because I dont know what to do with them otherwise. You're a real friend Giru. I love you" and again Goten has to run and limp and fall down the hall to throw up in the Capsule Corp shitters.

and idk maybe they make up. Maybe Trunks is like “Im sorry Goten I was wrong. I miss you and all of your weird smells. I miss how your flesh is fleshy and notably not metallic and how it’s wet but sometimes it’s dry instead. And I miss how you would make me do fun things with you rather than let me work on machines all day. You know Giru really just sat on my desk and watched me file papers all of Thursday and I hated it. And I miss peeing at the urinal with you. Giru doesnt pee. GIRU DOESNT PEE ! I miss you man. I’m sorry”

um this isnt what you were asking about...

[oliviamillss]

reading dreams chart

im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao

**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**

sun:

sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 

sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.

sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.

sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.

sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.

moon:

moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao

moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg

moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.

moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 

mercury:

mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 

mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.

mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.

mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*

mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator

mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)

venus:

venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 

venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 

venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’

venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 

venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 

mars:

mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.

mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.

mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss

mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.

mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 

mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.

jupiter

jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.

jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.

jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.

saturn:

saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?

saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo

saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn

saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 

uranus: 

uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 

uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.

uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 

neptune:

neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.

neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.

neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 

pluto:

pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.

north node:

north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.

chiron:

chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)

lilith:

lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 

lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.

lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming

moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 

 i ought to mention!!

there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.

summary!!!

basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.

im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol

hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3