what-are-even-humans

[what-are-even-humans]

I feel like any aliens that were prey at some point in evolution would have an odd fear of humans. Mostly cause they look like predators, act a bit like predators, and ARE predators. One perfect example is when we're focused on something like a mosquito that's been bugging us for a long time and we are just done.

Alien: "What. What..?"

Human: *HUNTING down a mosquito it saw*

Alien: ".... yeah I am really uncomfortable...."

Human: *quiet footsteps, pupils dialated, intense focus,*

Alien: *WAR FLASHBACKS*

Human: "Found you." *absolutely desimates the mosquito, squashing it into a million pieces as it's guts and various body parts liquidize into blood of the bloodthirsty, now stained on the palm of the human. A living being now reduced to a useless corpse as the human wipes the remains on their pants*

Alien: "I feel like I've just gained trauma."

[what-are-even-humans]

This is my new puppy

[what-are-even-humans]

quick question does booping back boop back from the blog that was booped??? I just realised I have no idea.

Also what the fick is a super boop and how do you do that and how do I reboop superbly???

[what-are-even-humans]

Reblog if you are okay with people giving you lots of boops!

[what-are-even-humans]

"how did you spend your April fools?"

Truth: "I got into a slap fight with 500 strangers"

[what-are-even-humans]

Tumblr rn

[what-are-even-humans]

im curious and also convinced my thoughts are universal so

[what-are-even-humans]

“X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).

[what-are-even-humans]

I remember being in elementary school and feeling a deep alienation at people’s just vicious rejection of mathematics, the reason being, like

It’s like. A classic approach to hypothetical communication with aliens that you start with the things you know you have in common and proceed from there. Mathematics is that.

Imagine you approach someone you don’t understand with a thing specifically designed to be something they and you can agree on as a starting point for communication and they just react with “yeah i hate this”

[what-are-even-humans]

on the subject of Humans Are Space Orcs i keep thinking it would be funny if ‘pursuit predator’ humans got together with an ‘ambush predator’ feliform species. and like. humans enjoy walking around with their friends! and the feliforms enjoy huddling in a concealed location with their friends! and it takes all of half an hour for a human to pick up a scarf and make a sling to take their pal with them while they go grab some lunch.

our new friends are like ‘are you sure this isn’t an inconvenience’ and the humans are like ‘are you kidding we do this with terran cats whether they like it or not’ 

also the team-up of humans and the feliform species gives most herbivore species in the galaxy screaming nightmares because here is a mobile tower that will follow you for 16 hours straight and it’s carrying a bag full of sneaky murder like it’s a baby this is not okay

[what-are-even-humans]

>by far most hairless species of primate

>is one of two primate species that willingly live in snow with the other being the Japanese macaque which is covered in thick hair

>is one of two mammal species that willingly eat spicy foods

>unlike tree shrews doesn’t have a special genetic mutation that makes spicy food not painful to eat

[what-are-even-humans]

Random fantasy/worldbuilding thing:

Everyone from a different culture seems strangely poetic and profoundly deep in their observations, but only because they speak whatever the common tongue is as a second language, and whatever they are saying is actually mostly just clumsily translated common sayings/figures of speech that flow much better in their own tongue, and make perfect sense to the people who understand the cultural context.

Someone who comes from a place where geodes are common will describe another person: "He is like a stone that seems to hold a treasure inside of it - you learn to know such stones by their shape and their weight - but once you split it open, there is no quartz, no amethyst, no sparkling and brilliant crystal you expected. Just solid rock, through and through. He is like one of those rocks." Which vaguely makes sense, but they're clearly frustrated about not being quite able to express what they're trying to say.

The thing is, in their own first language, there's a specific word for this kind of rock - one that outwardly seems to be a geode but it isn't one after all. This word is also commonly used as an insult, to describe a person who is charismatic, convincing and outwardly seems brilliantly smart, but is actually dumb as shit.

[what-are-even-humans]

honestly such an L for humans (and other apes) to not have simian tails. never am i filled with more jealousy than when i see fellow simian do this

[what-are-even-humans]

honestly such an L for humans (and other apes) to not have simian tails. never am i filled with more jealousy than when i see fellow simian do this

[what-are-even-humans]

fucking love shortstaffing in the medical sector so so much (I don't)(it's the worst) we're down to 2 on my ward, one of which is in residency (it's me)(the other one is one whole year out of residency)(help) and we're running on a combined 6 hours of sleep and so much coffee (I don't even like coffee)(blease help)(I am so sleepy)

[what-are-even-humans]

Do humans qualify as extremophile?

absolutely!

humans can tolerate some VERY extreme circumstances in general, at least temporarily, but there's one arena in which we stand head and shoulders above every other mammal on earth:

(pun intended)

for reference, that's well over the altitude tolerance of any other mammal, let alone something as big as we are. (there's a mouse that can live at up to 22,000 feet.)

the only other vertebrates that can sustainably live higher than that have wings!

yeah yeah, rub it in. I hope you get sucked into a jet engine.

so, yeah. in the highest mountain ranges on earth, you will find various societies of humans that just live their lives breaking every natural record god and nature saw fit to declare for a groundbound animal, all just as part of their daily routine.

and that's pretty great.