#idk how to set up an appointment
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idk, crowsx3 design??? sdkjfh
the heads are all made of porcelain, and can rotate like that one horror short film with kevan brighting voicing in it
#artswin#quick sketch up#idk#tsp#tspud#crowscrowscrows#crowsx3#the stanley parable#stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#ik im probably not the first one to come up with this but i have an idea for smth so i wanted to make a vague idea for a design first#my current idea rn is that. at least for my au. since theres three crows. there needs to be three sort of proctors for the game#and since proctors are people who oversee exams/officer with responsibility at a school#what im thinking is that narrator and curator are both proctors who āoverseeā/āadmin the game" (according to oxford)#or āone who is emploied to manage to affairs of anotherā/āperson who takes charge of or acts for anotherā according to wikipedia#they both at least have control over the game (ie. narrator writing the script n stuff/curators museum etc)#but they need a third.#in 2013 tsp 432 goes missing. sees that the wheel needs to keep turning#the crows see him understanding the situation. and how he wants to keep the game going. so they appoint him as another proctor#thus timekeeper. who gets added on to manage the settings and time in ultra deluxe#i have more to say but idk just yet sdkjfhskdf#i feel nervous just bc idk if im stealing someones idea or concept for this. or even getting it wrong even if its just an interpretation#maybe later ill explain idk sdkjfkjsf
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it sucks that so much of my family has also dealt with cancer but it's really lovely that they were able to give me warnings about things
#a friend of mine just had a computer glitch and lost a bunch of work and i said it sucked and i'm sorry and asked if he could email his prof#and he's i think just really upset about it as i would be too bc that does suck so bad#but i don't have the energy to commiserate. i feel like a steaming pile of shit right now. i only got home 30 minutes ago from the hospital#and i have to go back tomorrow and then spend the rest of the day probably feeling like this while also having to go to another appointment#bc i need to get my earrings changed out so i can take them out for my body scan#and then going home with earl and setting up. and finally getting a bday gift to my friend as well and dropping that off#i feel increasingly gross and sick rn and this was just one injection#but my relatives were like 'listen. no one in your life is going to get this unless they've had cancer. and it sucks but that's how it is'#and i'm just very glad i got that heads up because i'm getting a lot of love and support from relatives now#esp the ones who also dealt with cancer#but it's just been radio silence from friends. and i get it i get they have their own lives and might not know what to say#but it does still hurt a little#i do have one friend who has been lovely and accommodating with the diet i have to be on#but my other best friend is just. i think with his school he has his own friends and his own life but. yeah. it just hurts a little#maybe i'm being irrational idk. something to discuss with my therapist today at our appointment#not everything is about me etc etc#this is the same friend who lost his work that i mentioned in the tags#cancer tw
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omg i went to the niiiiicest chic little hanbok store in new jersey yesterday they are called "the hanbok" at fort lee, the two ladies working there was soooo so so sooooo sweet and nice and welcoming š i really recommend them if anyone in the area needs to rent or get custom stuff made LOL i've been to two local shops in nyc and honestly i was kind of intimidated by the ladies that owned the shops, maybe cuz they were older women and they seemed strict idk thats a ME problem but the women at the hanbok were so chill and i wasnt as scared there š¤£ i looked at a bunch of their swatches but its like playing 4d chess picking the colors cuz the swatches are taped in 2 layers, with the upper layer going over the lower layer, so its 1 layer of fabric on the white board, and 2 layers of fabric hanging off the board and IT LOOKS SO DIFFERENT cuz the material is translucent so the color changes depending on whether its single or double layer, and if its against white or colored lining? so i feel like the final product will be gacha again idk. also i shouldve prefaced by saying i got custom hanbok made from korea but obvs couldnt see the swatches irl and lemme tell u the pink photographs pink but irl its more peach so šµāš« the cut and fit of it is nearly perfect tho so im still v happy w it! i took it to new jersey so the hanbok shop can recreate it with new fabric lol
see it looks so baby pink in da pics lol trickery. the underskirt the korean person send me is kind of a stiff mesh / organza layered thing, it has nice volume for pics but i feel like bc its more stiff the movement is less swishy irl? the new jersey shop is gonna make smth more layered with normal fabric so hopefully that works out better??
also im wondering if i should have asked to make the skirt shorter cuz the feet showing under is act kind of cute and practical? the current skirt is floor length lol. the feet is a nice silhouette break. i have a fitting at the end of july so maybe i can ask then šš
^random ppl on ig man i lov hanbok wtf. i wish i knew how to sew this myself cuz i feel so annoying being ultra specific with my design & fit notes š like at this rate i rly better just start making it myself LOL but i cant sew so RIP also i cant understand how they make the top, its like origami the way they attach the lining and fold everything down and inside itself like??? šµāš«
thats my fave pic i think its from an exhibition but MAN is that top cropped and fitted. and maybe its cuz the mannequin is holding the skirt up but the shoes showing looks good so yea im like pro ankle length skirt now ig?
#how can i ask my nj hanbok ppl to make the armhole tight / sleeves p narrow and make the top like ultra short HAHA#like i'll just let them stick to the og top measurements but idk maybe on the future#cuz i WILL go back to them and get a THIRD set made#i'll be like by the way can we try making an itty bitty top thanks LOL#im sorry im so annoying im also kinda like this for my hair appointments#my bleach and color artist is sooo cool and patient w me we get good results#im annoying but to make up for it i tip rly good#.txt#ģ“ ģ§ėź°ģ ģøģ
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finally worked up the courage to call the therapist's office to try and make an appointment so I could go back to getting therapy and it went to voicemail š
#'leave a detailed message' idk man i just want to know how to set up an appointment because you can't do it online#now i'm stressed as hell x2#flint txt
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back in my "seething about being on sick leave" era again
#:)#you know how lame it is to be stuck at home beholden to the will of the hospital and not be able to really go anywhere/do anything#i think it's killing me because i plain and simply don't feel sick like at all! completely symptomless health issues here#but i'm still stuck with my only realistic options being either play videogames or write (but not for any uni-affiliated projects)#and idk when i don't leave the house for too long the Horrors set in#and even though i actually only have like one hospital appointment every two weeks i am overwhelmed by the feeling of being Stuck#kinda stirring up the same emotions as 2020 quarantine except this time the world's still going on without me lol#howwwwwwwwwwwwwww do people actually endure such isolating frustrating conditions long term. i think im gonna go insane
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#i want to break up with my hairdresser#but idk how it's really awkward they've been doing my hair for like 6 years#I can't just ghost them#they recently lost their salon. landlord didn't want to renew the contract#so they're working from home#and 1) it's further out of my way and 2) they have like 5 dogs and 3 cats the place smells of animal#it's clean to be clear. clean and tidy. and the animals are clean it doesn't stink#but even clean animals smell of animal to someone who has no pets in their home#if you know what I mean#anyway I feel like I should stand by them during this time#but it's so inconvenient#I'm also working different hours now so just making any appointment is inconvenient#their old salon was literally down the road from my old job and I worked earlier shifts so I'd just stop by after work#how I've got to like set aside a whole day and drive out to them#(and by recently I mean it's been like a year since they've been working from home)
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had to get my tires and brakes changed on my car cuz the ones i had on there were from the dealership i got it from back in 2018. almost $1300 and they're telling me the undercarriage alignment is bent and rusting so i'm gonna have to fix that eventually too - that's gonna be $3500 though š
#i do not make this kid of money guys#idk why you're asking me to set up an appointment after i see how it drives for a week.#i cannot afford that#i can barely afford to get my tires and breaks switched#and they didn't even switch my front brakes because they didn't have any in stock so i have to go in next weekend#like whyyyyyyy
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so we miiiight be adopting another cat
a few days back, my mom encountered this teeny tiny pregnant kitten (probably no older than 9 months) and absolutely fell in love. like, she's unbelievably sweet for a stray and even managed to get into the house TWICE when my mom tried going back inside, so she seems to really want a housecat life.
well, like an hour ago, we found her meowing on our doorstep :( it's raining so we took her in, dried her off, and set her up with a little room in the garage (bed, cat litter, water, some food) and now she's gonna stay there for the night
we'll let her out again during the day since we're trying to fully win her over and we're positive she'll come back later in the day, but next week we're gonna take her to the vet and see how she's doing health-wise so. yeah! woo!
#i don't know how i feel about bringing in another cat#but she needs a home and my mom + sister both seem really set on it#she's definitely pregnant so idk how we'll deal with that#my mom seems to wanna keep the babies but i KNOW she won't be the one caring for them or helping this cat actually. y'know. give birth#this kitten is so small too so it's worrying :( like... she's MAYBE 5lbs. she makes our little cats look like fucking behemoths#especially since she's so young i do worry about what the pregnancy will do to her body. she's not even done maturing so having to use -#- all her energy to have kittens seems like a bad idea#i brought up the possibility of a spay to terminate the pregnancy since idk if her body can handle it but mom seemed pretty against it#she's just... so tiny and young and malnourished#we'll figure it out. im gonna tag along to the vet appointment and ill get the vet's opinion on all this
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things have been scary n hard n a lot but i do feel good sometimes..theres good things too they might not seem like big things or as meaningful but it still matters n makes a difference! things might get scarier n harder etc overall n probs will at least sometimes.. even when it feels like things shld be easy theyre usually not but im trying ! n thats smth i suppose
#p#work was so bad today had to socialize w family which went ok but not ideal situation for me after#might see a friend tomorrow n walk my dog n thats makin me anxious for a few reasons but mostly cuz idk how to talk to my friends anymore#for reasons that arent even only just me being a freak#the next day im having cavities fixed n itll take hrs#i rly to set up a dr appointment n its been ages cuz even for a normal appointment its v stressful n scary n bad for me#for a variety of reasons but i also just fuckin hate it#n this is cuz i think there coulddd be smth more serious goin on that ive been trying to ignore n avoid bringing up#cuz what if it is actually smth#n i cant even go on abt that rn (tired) but ive been..thinkin abt it#aaaand i need to try n get an appointment w a psychiatrist so i can maybe get back on meds again cuz i think itd be a good idea#like i think on em i didnt think they made a big difference but i feel like im way worse now off em so#n i hope i dont have to go thru the regular dr abt that cuz i got my refills thru them but i guess ill be seein her anyway n overwhelmed!!!#oh n the friend thing is scary cuz my lil group is all broken up now n i feel like im choosing sides when i hang out w some of em now#which sucks so thats the main thing abt that. ok enough bye <3#idk what the original post not the tags even meant im tryin to be . positive! or smth jeez :/#dlt ltr !
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This is something I learned at one of the pre-op visits for my breast reduction! My surgeon was basically I think an independent surgeon (as I guess I would imagine is common for ācosmeticā/plastic surgeons?) and she was telling us a little bit about what to do for talking to insurance about the surgery and stuff, and she mentioned that for us going through insurance it would be at a particular hospital, but she also often did surgeries where people didnāt use there insurance, and she did those at some other place, and the price she charged up front was much lower, because that was the actual cost of the surgery (and equipment and everyoneās salaries etc.) and she had to raise the ticket price significantly when people would go through insurance, because the insurance company would negotiate that price down, and then keep some of the money. (Obviously for us and many others it still worked out to be cheaper for us out of pocket to go through insurance, but the amount she made was roughly the same even though it would look like she charged thousands more for my breast reduction than for someone not using insurance)
So, when you get those bills from your insurance after a doctors visit, and thereās that little table that tells you, this is the cost of the visit, this is the discount we got you, this is how much we paid, this is how much you still have to pay?
That line about āwe got you this discountā is misleading. They actually caused the provider to raise the initial cost of your care by that amount, or more, in anticipation of the insurance company refusing to pay the full amount so that they could tell you they got you a discount.
"Why does a 15-minute visit with a doctor cost 150 bucks in America???" you're gonna want to read Money-Driven Medicine, by Maggie Mahar, and probably also The Social Transformation of American Medicine, to answer that question. It is not because your doctor is a greedy bastard; your doctor does not see most of that money. It is because the system is broken to a level that is truly impressive in its dedication to making a shit ton of money for insurance company executives and shareholders.
#my doctors visits are always around 3 or 400 for me because they never get billed as physicals because I also need prescriptions filled#and I need to go in 4x a year because adderall is so heavily restricted#and my last visit was actually $700 because they needed to drug test me not even for a real reason but because at the previous visit when#they drug tested me (also for bullshit reasons- to check that I was taking my meds instead of selling them or soemthing)#it came up with a false positive for opioids. which I donāt have access to or interest in and would not have been in my system#(momās nurse friend hypothesized that maybe the poppy seeds on the wverythign bagel I probably had for breakfast that morning set it off. it#seems like thatās a pretty common food to have and they should either warn you ahead of time about that or it shouldnāt be sensitive enough#to pick that up)#and insurance was like āwe got you a $195 discountā which is bs and āwe paid $4ā which is even stupider#so now at my next virtual visit Iām gonna have to say hey I know the answer is no because of institutionalized stigma against me that youāre#not willing to push back on but I canāt fuckingn afford to keep paying $1600+ a year for what at this point is a middle man between me and a#pharmacist because Iāve been on this medication for fucking ages and all my other ones could be refilled at a yearly physical#so is there any way we could change things up somehow. and sheās going to say no. and Iām going to be angry and upset about it for days#back when i was at my pediatrician I had to go in every six months which was annoying but I would happily go back to that over four times a#year#but idk if the rules changed or if the rules are different for adults or if my doctor just sucks bc I brought that up early on and she was#like no this is what we do#I mean. I can technically afford it. I have the money Iām not going into medical debt or anything. I live at home with my parents and have#very low living expenses and my checking account is limited primarily by my own standards of how much Iāve decided I want to be putting into#my savings account each paycheck. but when the biggest expense in my life is something that already frustrates me and that I know is exp too#expensive and that I feel I shouldnāt have to be doing anyway and I know Iām being treated unfairly#it just feels so much worse. having to take money out of my savings account wouldnāt be the end of the world. but it feels wrongs#and I only make like $36#lmao I forgot about the commas thing.#like $36k a year so I also am aware that even though Iām in a lucky place where Iām stable thatās not *that* much money and I feel like that#is how I tend to think of things. because Iām not going to live with my parents forever and Iām deeply aware that for most people who have#to pay a rent or a mortgage $36k is the lower end of things and a seven fucking hundred dollar doctors bill is a big fuckingn deal#for a regular fucking doctors appointment#itās not like I fucking asked to be drug tested they said āpay us to look at your pee or elseā#itās all bullshit
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#tag talk#I think one of the reasons therapy is so hard is that it's not like I show up and talk about the problem I have.#I show up and have to list all thirty seven problems and explain how their separate and how they're intertwined#I had my third hour-long appointment with my therapist who I feel genuinely hopeful about and there's still issues I haven't talked about#and I get that a lot of these separate issues are really just a basket of extreme symptoms from a few core issues#but it's been so long that they've grown and rooted on their own so it's not just a matter of digging out the original roots. not anymore.#and I do feel like I've made progress. I've made immense progress. the mood stabilizer alone is giving me loads of new data to process.#without it the mood phase I'm in right now would be morose and gloomy with manic energy turned inward to self loathing.#I started that direction a day or so ago because I forgot/didn't care to take my meds and started slipping#but I took my pills and bam I leveled out. and that's nice. I feel calm and serene.#hmm. I've been like this before though. after some sort of emotional high which I did have for a bit.#idk. I'm hopeful I'm positive I'm optimistic but still#I need to talk to my therapist about the feeling like a joke. I'm weird I'm interesting I'm novel I'm strange I know it already.#I'm lonely#I'm tired of being different. of being set apart. of being holy. divine.#I want to be normal. not a spectacle to gawk at or even appreciate. I want to be unremarkable. I want to fit in.#my therapist has enjoyed talking with me. I'm very funny. very charming. tough to keep up with apparently.#those things are intended as compliments but they also just remind me of how alone I am. different. set apart.
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#its 6am and im awake!! (not good)#ive kind of shifted my sleep schedule to be the worst it could possibly be#yesterday i slept from 8-9am and then 11am-5pm#and thats kind of where it's settled. whoch is not good#my roommate who is a sleep scientist says thats going to kill me and i believe that because i already feel like im dying#its just so nice to be awake for sunrise tho! and i couldnt wake up this early so my only option is to stay awake to see it#i think ive seen the sunrise more in the past two weeks than ever before in my life#on a note that feels related but probably isnt- im moving in may. in two months#'but austyn i remember you moved this time last year' youre right! im bad at staying in one place!!#im moving back in with my parents because this city is expensive and i need a year to figure my life out#i didnt think i was going to make it to 18 and thats now fucking up my life#how is it fucking up my life? because i made no plans for anything past high school and instead have just been bouncing from thing to thing#trying to make a life when i thought i would be dead. so i moved and moved and moved again and now i have no money no prospects#no drive no plan no ideas no future etc#so thats all catching up to me and im gonna take a year to save up and get on my feet and reconnect with my psychiatrist and restart therapy#my psychiatrist is gonna be mad that i just went a year with no meds but its fine. just remembered i should try to set up an appointment now#okay gonna set up an appointment at 8 when they open. shes a very in demand psychiatrist. and idk if i can go back to her after a year#theyre very nice there so im sure theyll help me figure it out. so im gonna get my mental health bsck on track#eventually fix my sleep schedule maybe. idk its just a year to figure everything out but its difficult to move again#i hate moving. ive said it once ill say it again. moving kills a part of your soul. especially moving back in with your parents#just gonna be venting about this for awhile actually#maybe ill go for a walk at like 7am cuz the weather has been so nice lately i love it#ive been walking part of the way home from work because its so nice#i truly just dont want to sleep. i want to do things but i dont have the energy to do them. yknow. this sucks#anyway. gonna tey to get my life together but so far im doing pretty bad
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WE LISTEN AND WE DONāT JUDGE : BLUE LOCK EDITION . . . mādni. f ! reader / itās either pretty tame or freaky idk / doing it raw / creamp!es / virginity and being inexperienced / some ooc but this is just for fun / not proofread
FEATURING ā® isagi, nagi, karasu, rin, barou, kunigami, chigiri
isagi yoichi ā® before your relationship was established he really really liked you and didnāt want to mess it up. but then he wasnāt sure if you were on the pill but the sex was so good he ended up coming inside you. proceeded to suck his cum out for your pussy cause of the panic. didnāt have sex with you for a week after that but you were fine.
nagi seishiro ā® played a game where he can customize the character and got really pissed off because it wasnāt even half as pretty as you. sulking each time he dies because he think he āfailed you.ā ended up quitting the game too because he found out there was sex in the game and he wouldnāt want the āgame youā being with anyone else that wasnāt him. even got jealous one time because he didnāt know that he was increasing his characterās relationship level with an npc who looked too much like his teammate. too many emotions while youāre watching him lose his mind when youāre perfectly fine eating snacks on the bed. having to console him by riding him and telling him you only love him and not barou.
tabito karasu ā® pays for your nails when you get an appointment so you could jack him off after. will also take photos of your nails for you, with one jerking his cock of course. got this pavlov effect that he gets hard every time you show him your fresh new set. yeah heās ruined.
itoshi rin ā® he was a virgin before he met you, and ended up cumming each time he bottomed out the first few times you guys did it. he was inexperienced and very sensitive since he wasnāt used to it. he was still always hard after so it didnāt matter. unaware he was crying one time because he was so overstimulated while youāre clenching down so hard causing his cum to spill.
shoei barou ā® you were supposed to meetup with someone else that your friend suggested but you werenāt really sure if it was him when you arrived at the meeting place. ended up going on the date with him and hooking up at the end only for you to find out he wasnāt actually the guy. āwhat was i supposed to do? deny a pretty girl like you?ā went on a few more dates anyway and ended up establishing the relationship properly <3 [ do not be like them! ]
rensuke kunigami ā® you were the first person to ever give him head. it felt too good and better than expected. you told him you werenāt too experienced but you worked on him like a pro. he was scared he could hurt you so instead of holding onto your head he gripped onto the wooden headboards. when he came, he held onto it too hard he broke the top part in half.
chigiri hyoma ā® moaned out your name during a wet dream. until it shifted, ātake it! fucking take itā he said. his teammates werenāt sure if they should wake him up any time soon and they werenāt too sure how to face you after hearing that.
do not copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost my works
note : i have no idea what came over me writing these but here u go crying during sex rin hell yeah!!!
#blue lock smut#bllk smut#isagi smut#isagi yoichi smut#rin smut#itoshi rin smut#itoshi smut#nagi smut#nagi seishiro smut#kunigami smut#barou smut#karasu smut#chigiri smut#į¦¾Ö“ā ā¤ļø by cola
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MY FUCKIN DIAPHRAGM ITCHES
#vent#nicotine addiction#my vape is burnt cause ive had it for too long#i dont have money to replace it so im going cold turkey apparently#i NEED to set up a nicotine cessation appointment bc those services are free on my campus#but ffs i feel so nervous to actually call or go in#what do i even say#āhey i wanna quit vapingā#what if they tell me there arenāt services available for vaping and theyre only for smoking???#idk if thats even how it works#im just anxious#and so so SO hungry#and i JUST ate breakfast#i want to cry#im gonna be so emotionally volatile for the next couple weeks and it scares me to death
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#I will always wonder why rodrigo didn't just tell cesare from the beginning he intended him to become both pope and king?? #or at least when he started begging him for command of the papal armies?? #(personally think cesare still would've seen juan as a threat just because their father showed juan more warmth) #but it may have prevented juan being murdered by cesare's hand at least #not that I think it would've quelled his hatred toward juan completely #too bad rodrigo didn't account for cesare's ambition outweighing his love of his brother #or he probably would've said something much sooner #it's kinda ironic he claims he sees so much of himself in cesare and yet.....he completely underestimated cesare's ambition ( via @rhaenyra-targaryenn )
āCesare wanted his brother dead. He waited for the moment when he felt it was right. He knows that it will change him forever and it will never be the same. A part of him thought it was the right thing, and part of him did it out of jealousy and envy. Once he made up his mind, it was set. He didnāt want to talk anymore, because he knew Juan could change his mind. But I think there was something chemical in his hatred for his brother as well that's always been there.ā ā FRANĆOIS ARNAUD explains Cesare's dark turn. "The final confession is his one chance to unburden his soul and heās nice. He forgives people. He says heās been in pain all this time, he notices when everyone else is concerned about him and their own hurting and their own pain. It proves that heās sort of self-aware and probably hasnāt had the best life, so it kind of makes it even worse that he gets killed." ā DAVID OAKES on Juan's finale moments.
SPECIAL FEATURES || BEHIND THE BORGIAS: Juan's demise
#banger tags!#rodrigo's selfishness and determination for ambitions really blinded him from the enmity among his kids#an enmity that he CAUSED!!! he set juan in opposition of cesare and alienated his siblings against him because *checks notes*#he did what he was tasked for to protect his family!!!#i also wanna add that cesare claimed that rodrigo only forgives juan's mistakes as if he wouldn't do the same if cesare messed up!!#cesare felt inadequate because rodrigo tends to extend his hand to the weak (juan) since he assigned himself as a man of god#rodrigo also views cesare as capable and he doesn't need the affection he gives to lucrezia and juan#sadly cesare failed to see he's the true heir bc he considered being a leader in the papal army to be a prestigious position#while being the church's prince was what truly mattered to rodrigo. cesare only realized this in the show's finale#+ a sense of validation after yrs of feeling inadequate. it was too late as he had already jealously murdered his brother based on illusions#not to mention cesare's daddy issues disappeared after he forgave him for killing juan + the Big Revealā¢ļø#i'm sure cesare would've still disliked juan of the situations were reversed but i also think he would've had his back bc he's not a threat#the poetry of rodrigo loving cesare too much but trying to distance himself from him because he scares him and reminds him of himself#someone so driven so thirsty for powet and ambitions. he really thought he would usurp him or even murder him just like hoe he murdered juan#i personally never wanted rodrigo to forgive cesare for juan . idk like some sort of consequence following him for the rest of his life#it would've also have spice knowing how lucrezia felt about cesare in borgia apocalypse script#cesare borgia the most loathed and feared prince in italy !!!#but of rodrigo and cesare reconciled!!! the pope needs his mirror!! cesare is everything rodrigo needed in a son / heir!!#āyou loved him onceā i mean sure cesare did love juan before their papacy era because like i said...he wasn't a threat#but the second juan was appointed as the leader of the papal army...it's all over bro#text post#the borgias meta
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#when I got out of intensive outpatient in late February / early March all therapy was ended#and they set me up with like four different places I could transition to#and I reached out to all of them but it wasnāt until this month they got me off the waitlist lmao#today I finally got my first appointment set up for next week#four months after my treatment ended lol#not doing great but I signed up for weekly sessions again and I think thatāll be good#need to continue that hard work asap and get caught back up to where I was previously#lil nervous about my therapist but weāll see#itās a woman whoās very passionate about art therapy and idk how I feel about that lmao#but sheās trained in CBT so hopefully that will be what we use š#not looking to draw my feelings lmao
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