#idk do people even read my blog?
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PSA
I’m going to call this a PSA mostly because idk what else to call it and it’s not really directly about David, but anyway...
I fully support roleplayers using whatever faceclaims they want for Marvel characters. I effectively have two for David, but I’d also love to see some more digging than the MCU does into the racial/ethnic/religious/gender identity/sexual orientation backgrounds of those characters whether you use the MCU casting .
The character that comes to mind first is Marc Spector/The Moon Knight System. I fall for the Oscar Isaac thirst trap every time. He is a beautiful man. He’s also Latino. He’s also not Jewish, but he was cast and as such is “official.” The MCU show implied he was Latino (by casting everyone else in his family as Latine) while also being Jewish, but never dealt with the implications of that. Was his dad still a rabbi? Were they converts? What did that mean for his childhood? For his dad’s childhood? For his mother’s post-Randall struggles? Anything?
Let’s do all the things.
If you choose to not go by the MCU and cast a Jewish actor who is not Latino, beautiful. I’m here for all the Marc/David interactions with or without MCU connections - not least of all because besides my fever dream of a Disney+ show where my David is MCU compliant, he isn’t. He’s not even really XMCU compliant by default. RIP the non-Disney+ Marvel TV days. I personally chose to retcon Noah Hawley’s major misstep (imo) of saying Gabrielle Haller was Romani. Not because I wouldn’t love to see what that would mean for Gabrielle and David, but because it was a superficial mention and not something made intrinsic to the character.
I strongly support color-conscious choices in storytellings, and this extends to sexual orientation and gender as well. The choice of race and ethnic background should always have an implication on the storytelling. For the best version of that please see the 2022 Interview with the Vampire series. I was a huge skeptic initially, but they won me over by making sure the casting was reflected in the storytelling.
TL:DR - I like seeing variety in face claims, but please have that impact your storytelling whether going with an “official” FC or making your own choice! Who cares about canon at the end of the day, but the choices you make about how your character looks, what religion they practice, and where their family comes from should impact the story you tell. Also, I’m very worried that the MCU is about to repeat some Moon Knight missteps with the casting of Reed Richards...
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Heartbreaking: “problematic” danmei everyone told you to avoid is actually pretty decent and has mildly interesting things to say about poverty and class
#nothing here is groundbreaking or even particularly deep but I do love seeing politics in my silly little gay books#idk. I genuinely think injecting your stories with politics makes them better#even if it’s relatively surface-level stuff like ‘poverty is violence’ it still hits different than#fiction that goes out of its way to try to be ‘apolitical’#(it never actually is apolitical. it just exposes what the author considers to be ‘too controversial’ for general audiences)#erha#2ha#the husky and his white cat shizun#anyway erha hasn’t been anywhere near as traumatizing as people on tumblr make it out to be#like it’s not light reading and you should probably read the trigger tags before diving in#but it’s also not The Most Evil and Problematic Book ever y’know?#cleaning out my drafts#I’m trying to kill cringe and fandom purity culture on this blog so I’m trying to be brave and talk about more controversial things#this has been sitting in my drafts for a very long time
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okay fine i'll read homestuck. whatever. i've cracked i can't take it anymore i need to fuck around and find out.
#🐉#james reads homestuck#btw i know some people have legitimate objections to it so im fully prepared for that#and im not going to be an idiot and just try to ignore that and bury my head in the sand#but im curious as hell and even if some of it sucks i want to understand why#its such a compelling and beloved story to so many people#and hell i want to actually understand why some of it is Bad (for lack of a better word)#and not just take the word of random internet strangers as objective truth without further investigation#because thats the opposite of using my critical thinking skills#if you think reading media with some shitty stuff in it makes you a Bad Person just by exposure well idk why youre still following me anywa#but yea heres your warning that i will become aware of homestuck if thats something you cant stand#even though the likelihood of me blogging about it is slim#and if i do ill probably like. make a sideblog so people who really dont like it can avoid it.#MAN. okay. sorry for the disclaimer im just worried people are gonna think im an idiot or something and send me condescending asks#or assume the worst about me as a person#because. internet.
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#sabaody archipelago#ch496#alright we hath arrived at the archipelago. almost time for law#he's one of my favorite characters of all time still....i probably will actually do a reread of punk hazard and dressrosa just for him#well. i say reread but i mean i'll slow down and read everything instead of just skimming for panels#maaaaaan. well anyway i obviously like sanji a lot too#i almost started an everylaw blog i actually have the url still#but someone else started that first. idk if they're keeping it up though#feels like the every blogs that were around when i started this one have kinda fallen off#at least some of them. not all but the new ones are by people i dont know!!#at least like. well pingo is a mutual and friend of mine and pokeharvest is a mutual in law#and beaux i think is how they spelled it last. am trying to look for their blog bc they deactivated and remade#and i cannot remember their url at all. actually scrolling my followers. i cannot see them?#i can name most of my mutuals and. not recognizing them#unless they changed urls majorly but even then#wait what do u mean asta hasnt posted in 3 months.#okay well anyway. idk where i was going with this
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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#listen she needed a second poll too#so she gets her funky alt magic card art#she is the only one who’s magic card comes with an alternate illithid form so#magic the gathering#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#mtg#Lae’zel illithid thrall#lae’zel baldurs gate 3#bg3 lae'zel#bg3 smash or pass#smash or pass#poll#baldurs gate 3#bgiii#baldur's gate 3#lae’zel bg3#laezel#lae'zel#my hope is for one day this blog to get really popular#so hopefully the companions getting multiple polls will be well recieved#for people who weren’t here to start getting a chance to vote again#even though these are all variants on the companions#maybe I’ll do a series of polls eventually with them all in their magic card art?#idk#let me know!#if you read these tags#alt forms#companions#monsterfucking
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i love you poems i love you poetry i love you novels written by poets ❤️💖💕💗❤️❤️💓
#^ post written by girl who is a poet writing a novel#yknow sometimes you’re reading a book and you go wait. wait a minute i need to check something. and then it’s like AHA I KNEW IT!#there’s just a certain vibe yknow?#i should post poetry i want to post poetry it’s just there’s this modifying ordeal of being known#and my poetry isn’t even that deeply revealing i don’t think.#like it’s deeply revealing to Me When I Read it but idk if what i’m registering will register to most people#one day i’ll do it though. i’ll post the fucking poetry I WILL DO IT.#don’t know how to explain it but i do feel most at home writing poetry it’s how i started writing at all#i don’t think that kind of thing ever Really leaves you#wow getting emotional on the blog at 1:37 on a tuesday
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)
#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on#either way#im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔#if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me#again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg#i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever#but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do#and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying#like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative#but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me#oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you#but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't#like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it)#i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable!#fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it#and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier#of my friendships#wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up#the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom)#i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a#'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order#not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i#may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me !#sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭#vee rambles
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and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)
i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise
#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles#its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring#im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus.#theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny#actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters#idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me#anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too#and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys#and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male .#maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it.#guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things#i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just.#we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it.#you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week.#but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it.#i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff#but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me.#my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months.#but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy#i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play#all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good.#marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho)#i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often#uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying.#saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up#im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh#text
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i feel like i should put a "please don't send donation requests they will be deleted" warning somewhere that isn't my about page cuz no one fucking looks at that but idk where it should go
#maybe i'll finally make a pinned post? idk i don't really wanna replace kaede#there isn't enough characters on the actual ask box though#and my bio is kinda overcrowded#and also i don't think people read that either#idk i'm just kinda tired of receiving them. i honestly don't believe most of them are real#and even if they are real i don't have anything to give#so i don't care for being guilt tripped about it#and frankly i don't think my followers have much to give either but i don't really know their stories#and again. i don't think most of them are real. i really really don't#i feel like a lot of them have the markings of a scam but people get super mad when you point that out lol#idk stop trying to use my blog as a platform for money i don't do that shit#marshy speaks
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Not much has been shared yet for the Nicky day of the week which has me thinking that *I* wanna draw a Nicky to share but... That would require... Drawing and... Liking what I draw...
#I should draw though it's been a minute#I wanna draw Sparrow too... maybe even a demon Sparrow...#:/ But unfortunately to get better at art you gotta make more of the art#And it's hard for me to not get discouraged very quickly#And I'm always so embarrassed when I do share my drawings lmao#That's why I don't use an art tag- don't want people finding that shit lmao#Props to gigi though for scavenging my blog like a raccoon for an oldish glenn sketch that one time tho LMAO#She earned that#:0 I still mostly like that Nicky I have as my banner but I feel like I've never been as pleased with a drawing I've done of him since#Oh Cal if you're reading this- you were talking the other day about wishing you were more of a writer to express what visual art can't#And I *totally* felt that from the opposite end LOL#(I do get insecure about my writing but like not as much) like ''THIS WOULDN'T WORK AS A FIC THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A 4 PANEL COMIC"#Or just like ''I want to *show* you this character design'' not idk. Write about it.#Also I can keep my attention drawing for much longer than writing lol- writing fiction anyways#Man. ANYWAYS.
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another year of progress! since my birthday is right before the new year, i always associate my personal growth with my previous age. i think i’m happy with how I grew as a 20-year-old...more than just improving my anatomy and style, i’m learning to be more comfortable existing outside of my own head. i like looking at other people’s art summaries, so i thought i’d post mine (even if i’m pretty fucking embarrassed to look at my old pieces.......lol)
in 2023, i want to do more environments, get more comfortable with painting different body types, post my writing, and feel less awkward talking about myself. along with my academic and career goals of course :P
here’s to the new year! 🎉
#beepbeep.txt#idk i have such a complex about people not knowing me and then i dont let people know me. its insane#obviously strangers on the internet are not the priority but also? i do enjoy interacting with my mutuals and followers!#i want to be part of these online spaces even in a small way#not like oversharing about my medical history or w/e but i have so many fandom shitposts i dont post because. im like.#no one wants my fandom shitposts. bro youre on the fandom shitposting site#even talking about this i feel weird because. i dont know why anyone would care about my personal foibles#but at the same time i feel like a lot of people get this weird insecurity in the age of social media surveillance and the constant threat#of getting called out for shit you did as a teen. so idk. i hope what im saying is meaningful#or at least interesting#actually if its not who gives a shit. its my blog#i am going to say things. on my blog. and im gonna care less if people read it or not#speaking it into existence etc.
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ok i’m gonna set an alarm but it is not the end of the world if i miss the lecture tomorrow
#i am quite frankly concerned by my attendance. i am not academic weaponing it up. i am being academically attacked#it’s fine it’s fine. i always get caught up and i’d say i’m making it to a solid three quarters of them. but it’s not ideal yknow#turns out living alone is very hard and i am oh so tired. all of the time#which yes is in part bc i’m struggling with sleeping. and also low iron is low ironing bc i’m bad at remembering to take my tablets#and social awkwardness is quite frankly reaching the point where it’s probably just actual anxiety. teebeehaitch#it’s better than it was when i first got here but uhm. not by much#even posting on here is freaking me out a bit bc i keep remembering that i have like. 1700 followers for some reason#like you’re telling me that what amounts to my diary is hypothetically being read by 1700 people. that’s fucking insane. what am i doing#like i only get a few notes on personal posts obviously but still. it kinda freaks me out#might make another blog idk. not right now i am going to have a nap <3 and hopefully attend my lectures <3#i can hear birds singing outside. why do i keep doing this to myself#morganposting
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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!
#it won't be honestly#I do not think I will ever actually get to have that#I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing#so no one really wants anything real with me#especially JUST with me#and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh#and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date#and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1#but i still yearn for it#it's still an emotional need#and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met#it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met#but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness#some of us just don't get to be loved#some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us#i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay#I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog#(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn#and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it#but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can#like. even do#but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone#like emotionally or romantically or sexually#because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change#and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough#so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh#im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life
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