#i feel like a lot of them have the markings of a scam but people get super mad when you point that out lol

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Bossware is unfair (in the legal sense, too)

You can get into a lot of trouble by assuming that rich people know what they're doing. For example, might assume that ad-tech works – bypassing peoples' critical faculties, reaching inside their minds and brainwashing them with Big Data insights, because if that's not what's happening, then why would rich people pour billions into those ads?

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/06/surveillance-tulip-bulbs/#adtech-bubble

You might assume that private equity looters make their investors rich, because otherwise, why would rich people hand over trillions for them to play with?

https://thenextrecession.wordpress.com/2024/11/19/private-equity-vampire-capital/

The truth is, rich people are suckers like the rest of us. If anything, succeeding once or twice makes you an even bigger mark, with a sense of your own infallibility that inflates to fill the bubble your yes-men seal you inside of.

Rich people fall for scams just like you and me. Anyone can be a mark. I was:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/05/cyber-dunning-kruger/#swiss-cheese-security

But though rich people can fall for scams the same way you and I do, the way those scams play out is very different when the marks are wealthy. As Keynes had it, "The market can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent." When the marks are rich (or worse, super-rich), they can be played for much longer before they go bust, creating the appearance of solidity.

Noted Keynesian John Kenneth Galbraith had his own thoughts on this. Galbraith coined the term "bezzle" to describe "the magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it." In that magic interval, everyone feels better off: the mark thinks he's up, and the con artist knows he's up.

Rich marks have looong bezzles. Empirically incorrect ideas grounded in the most outrageous superstition and junk science can take over whole sections of your life, simply because a rich person – or rich people – are convinced that they're good for you.

Take "scientific management." In the early 20th century, the con artist Frederick Taylor convinced rich industrialists that he could increase their workers' productivity through a kind of caliper-and-stopwatch driven choreographry:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/21/great-taylors-ghost/#solidarity-or-bust

Taylor and his army of labcoated sadists perched at the elbows of factory workers (whom Taylor referred to as "stupid," "mentally sluggish," and as "an ox") and scripted their motions to a fare-the-well, transforming their work into a kind of kabuki of obedience. They weren't more efficient, but they looked smart, like obedient robots, and this made their bosses happy. The bosses shelled out fortunes for Taylor's services, even though the workers who followed his prescriptions were less efficient and generated fewer profits. Bosses were so dazzled by the spectacle of a factory floor of crisply moving people interfacing with crisply working machines that they failed to understand that they were losing money on the whole business.

To the extent they noticed that their revenues were declining after implementing Taylorism, they assumed that this was because they needed more scientific management. Taylor had a sweet con: the worse his advice performed, the more reasons their were to pay him for more advice.

Taylorism is a perfect con to run on the wealthy and powerful. It feeds into their prejudice and mistrust of their workers, and into their misplaced confidence in their own ability to understand their workers' jobs better than their workers do. There's always a long dollar to be made playing the "scientific management" con.

Today, there's an app for that. "Bossware" is a class of technology that monitors and disciplines workers, and it was supercharged by the pandemic and the rise of work-from-home. Combine bossware with work-from-home and your boss gets to control your life even when in your own place – "work from home" becomes "live at work":

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware

Gig workers are at the white-hot center of bossware. Gig work promises "be your own boss," but bossware puts a Taylorist caliper wielder into your phone, monitoring and disciplining you as you drive your wn car around delivering parcels or picking up passengers.

In automation terms, a worker hitched to an app this way is a "reverse centaur." Automation theorists call a human augmented by a machine a "centaur" – a human head supported by a machine's tireless and strong body. A "reverse centaur" is a machine augmented by a human – like the Amazon delivery driver whose app goads them to make inhuman delivery quotas while punishing them for looking in the "wrong" direction or even singing along with the radio:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/02/despotism-on-demand/#virtual-whips

Bossware pre-dates the current AI bubble, but AI mania has supercharged it. AI pumpers insist that AI can do things it positively cannot do – rolling out an "autonomous robot" that turns out to be a guy in a robot suit, say – and rich people are groomed to buy the services of "AI-powered" bossware:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

For an AI scammer like Elon Musk or Sam Altman, the fact that an AI can't do your job is irrelevant. From a business perspective, the only thing that matters is whether a salesperson can convince your boss that an AI can do your job – whether or not that's true:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/25/accountability-sinks/#work-harder-not-smarter

The fact that AI can't do your job, but that your boss can be convinced to fire you and replace you with the AI that can't do your job, is the central fact of the 21st century labor market. AI has created a world of "algorithmic management" where humans are demoted to reverse centaurs, monitored and bossed about by an app.

The techbro's overwhelming conceit is that nothing is a crime, so long as you do it with an app. Just as fintech is designed to be a bank that's exempt from banking regulations, the gig economy is meant to be a workplace that's exempt from labor law. But this wheeze is transparent, and easily pierced by enforcers, so long as those enforcers want to do their jobs. One such enforcer is Alvaro Bedoya, an FTC commissioner with a keen interest in antitrust's relationship to labor protection.

Bedoya understands that antitrust has a checkered history when it comes to labor. As he's written, the history of antitrust is a series of incidents in which Congress revised the law to make it clear that forming a union was not the same thing as forming a cartel, only to be ignored by boss-friendly judges:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/14/aiming-at-dollars/#not-men

Bedoya is no mere historian. He's an FTC Commissioner, one of the most powerful regulators in the world, and he's profoundly interested in using that power to help workers, especially gig workers, whose misery starts with systemic, wide-scale misclassification as contractors:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/02/upward-redistribution/

In a new speech to NYU's Wagner School of Public Service, Bedoya argues that the FTC's existing authority allows it to crack down on algorithmic management – that is, algorithmic management is illegal, even if you break the law with an app:

https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/ftc_gov/pdf/bedoya-remarks-unfairness-in-workplace-surveillance-and-automated-management.pdf

Bedoya starts with a delightful analogy to The Hawtch-Hawtch, a mythical town from a Dr Seuss poem. The Hawtch-Hawtch economy is based on beekeeping, and the Hawtchers develop an overwhelming obsession with their bee's laziness, and determine to wring more work (and more honey) out of him. So they appoint a "bee-watcher." But the bee doesn't produce any more honey, which leads the Hawtchers to suspect their bee-watcher might be sleeping on the job, so they hire a bee-watcher-watcher. When that doesn't work, they hire a bee-watcher-watcher-watcher, and so on and on.

For gig workers, it's bee-watchers all the way down. Call center workers are subjected to "AI" video monitoring, and "AI" voice monitoring that purports to measure their empathy. Another AI times their calls. Two more AIs analyze the "sentiment" of the calls and the success of workers in meeting arbitrary metrics. On average, a call-center worker is subjected to five forms of bossware, which stand at their shoulders, marking them down and brooking no debate.

For example, when an experienced call center operator fielded a call from a customer with a flooded house who wanted to know why no one from her boss's repair plan system had come out to address the flooding, the operator was punished by the AI for failing to try to sell the customer a repair plan. There was no way for the operator to protest that the customer had a repair plan already, and had called to complain about it.

Workers report being sickened by this kind of surveillance, literally – stressed to the point of nausea and insomnia. Ironically, one of the most pervasive sources of automation-driven sickness are the "AI wellness" apps that bosses are sold by AI hucksters:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/15/wellness-taylorism/#sick-of-spying

The FTC has broad authority to block "unfair trade practices," and Bedoya builds the case that this is an unfair trade practice. Proving an unfair trade practice is a three-part test: a practice is unfair if it causes "substantial injury," can't be "reasonably avoided," and isn't outweighed by a "countervailing benefit." In his speech, Bedoya makes the case that algorithmic management satisfies all three steps and is thus illegal.

On the question of "substantial injury," Bedoya describes the workday of warehouse workers working for ecommerce sites. He describes one worker who is monitored by an AI that requires him to pick and drop an object off a moving belt every 10 seconds, for ten hours per day. The worker's performance is tracked by a leaderboard, and supervisors punish and scold workers who don't make quota, and the algorithm auto-fires if you fail to meet it.

Under those conditions, it was only a matter of time until the worker experienced injuries to two of his discs and was permanently disabled, with the company being found 100% responsible for this injury. OSHA found a "direct connection" between the algorithm and the injury. No wonder warehouses sport vending machines that sell painkillers rather than sodas. It's clear that algorithmic management leads to "substantial injury."

What about "reasonably avoidable?" Can workers avoid the harms of algorithmic management? Bedoya describes the experience of NYC rideshare drivers who attended a round-table with him. The drivers describe logging tens of thousands of successful rides for the apps they work for, on promise of "being their own boss." But then the apps start randomly suspending them, telling them they aren't eligible to book a ride for hours at a time, sending them across town to serve an underserved area and still suspending them. Drivers who stop for coffee or a pee are locked out of the apps for hours as punishment, and so drive 12-hour shifts without a single break, in hopes of pleasing the inscrutable, high-handed app.

All this, as drivers' pay is falling and their credit card debts are mounting. No one will explain to drivers how their pay is determined, though the legal scholar Veena Dubal's work on "algorithmic wage discrimination" reveals that rideshare apps temporarily increase the pay of drivers who refuse rides, only to lower it again once they're back behind the wheel:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

This is like the pit boss who gives a losing gambler some freebies to lure them back to the table, over and over, until they're broke. No wonder they call this a "casino mechanic." There's only two major rideshare apps, and they both use the same high-handed tactics. For Bedoya, this satisfies the second test for an "unfair practice" – it can't be reasonably avoided. If you drive rideshare, you're trapped by the harmful conduct.

The final prong of the "unfair practice" test is whether the conduct has "countervailing value" that makes up for this harm.

To address this, Bedoya goes back to the call center, where operators' performance is assessed by "Speech Emotion Recognition" algorithms, a psuedoscientific hoax that purports to be able to determine your emotions from your voice. These SERs don't work – for example, they might interpret a customer's laughter as anger. But they fail differently for different kinds of workers: workers with accents – from the American south, or the Philippines – attract more disapprobation from the AI. Half of all call center workers are monitored by SERs, and a quarter of workers have SERs scoring them "constantly."

Bossware AIs also produce transcripts of these workers' calls, but workers with accents find them "riddled with errors." These are consequential errors, since their bosses assess their performance based on the transcripts, and yet another AI produces automated work scores based on them.

In other words, algorithmic management is a procession of bee-watchers, bee-watcher-watchers, and bee-watcher-watcher-watchers, stretching to infinity. It's junk science. It's not producing better call center workers. It's producing arbitrary punishments, often against the best workers in the call center.

There is no "countervailing benefit" to offset the unavoidable substantial injury of life under algorithmic management. In other words, algorithmic management fails all three prongs of the "unfair practice" test, and it's illegal.

What should we do about it? Bedoya builds the case for the FTC acting on workers' behalf under its "unfair practice" authority, but he also points out that the lack of worker privacy is at the root of this hellscape of algorithmic management.

He's right. The last major update Congress made to US privacy law was in 1988, when they banned video-store clerks from telling the newspapers which VHS cassettes you rented. The US is long overdue for a new privacy regime, and workers under algorithmic management are part of a broad coalition that's closer than ever to making that happen:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/06/privacy-first/#but-not-just-privacy

Workers should have the right to know which of their data is being collected, who it's being shared by, and how it's being used. We all should have that right. That's what the actors' strike was partly motivated by: actors who were being ordered to wear mocap suits to produce data that could be used to produce a digital double of them, "training their replacement," but the replacement was a deepfake.

With a Trump administration on the horizon, the future of the FTC is in doubt. But the coalition for a new privacy law includes many of Trumpland's most powerful blocs – like Jan 6 rioters whose location was swept up by Google and handed over to the FBI. A strong privacy law would protect their Fourth Amendment rights – but also the rights of BLM protesters who experienced this far more often, and with far worse consequences, than the insurrectionists.

The "we do it with an app, so it's not illegal" ruse is wearing thinner by the day. When you have a boss for an app, your real boss gets an accountability sink, a convenient scapegoat that can be blamed for your misery.

The fact that this makes you worse at your job, that it loses your boss money, is no guarantee that you will be spared. Rich people make great marks, and they can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent. Markets won't solve this one – but worker power can.

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[marshmellowtea]

i feel like i should put a "please don't send donation requests they will be deleted" warning somewhere that isn't my about page cuz no one fucking looks at that but idk where it should go

[thisisthevoice]

its so awful that when you look up almost anything body related esp if its commonly seen as a "flaw" you get inundated with stuff about how to "fix" it. stop it shut up stretch marks scars and stuff arent a problem that i need to ""fix""

[kowabungadoodles]

How to spot a (heart wrenching sad cat) Charity Scam

So I've been get a lot of requests for money in my askbox lately, from users I have never seen before! Usually sad cats, sometimes gender affirming medical bills, a queer person being made homeless etc etc... and guess what? None of them are real! It's scammers who have learned how to work tumblr's userbase and prey on our general sense of community and charity.

Here it is, so sad! So tragic! But let's note a few things:

It's generic. They don't know me, I don't know them. it's addressed to 'friend', no use of nicknames or usernames.

Even the cat and the problem are generic 'little kitty' who has 'urgent needs'. This is not how real people talk, this is because this scam is being used over and over with different accounts a different 'cats'.

Praying (uh huh.)

Asking you to reply privately- This is so people don't spot the scam and point it out the mark and because if too many people posted replies to the same message it would beome really obvious that this is a scam. If they're looking for 'boosts' so badly, then why do they need you to reply privately?

Now that I'm suspicious, let's investigate.

Sent me an ask and then followed me! Sounds like they're just hitting up anyone and everyone, but even more likely they have a list they're working from.

(I get so many, I'm probably on a mail-out list a mile long, just being hit up for cash. Likely I fell for one of these once and got my name added to every scam list for miles, but oh well.)

So let's see if they're a bot or a real person!

The blog looks genuine enough, they've got a bio, a fandom etc. And it says they're an artist!

And of course there's that sad cat post, pinned right to the top, so I don't have to look any further through the blog for verification... Looks super legit, pics of the cat, pics of the bill... of course anyone can print out a bill and take a picture of it...

As I do scroll futher, it's full of reblogs making this look like an active user. So how can I tell it's not genuine?

Well, if they're an artist they probably post right? Doodles? Pictures? Let's have a look at their origional posts.

The fastest way to do this is by using an outside tool like Original Post Finder.

just type in the suspicious username and go...

Voila! As suspected, the only post this bot account has ever made is Sad Cat Post.

Confirmed: Scam. Do not give your money to these guys, it looks so real but they're just here to make you feel like a bad person for not handing over everything you can. Charity is wonderful, supporting friends is wonderful, but tbh save it for people you actually know irl/ mutuals you have an actual relationship with. Don't believe any rando who comes knocking!

Love and kisses, stay safe out there.

[sashi-ya]

東京 NIGHTS mini event

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑽𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑰𝑴𝑨𝑮𝑬ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𓂃 ࣪˖ toji fushiguro x f! reader

⤹˚ synopsis. a miserable Toji founds the living image of his death wife in you, a sex worker at Kabukicho.

requested by: Anonymous ➡ omg i've been waiting for you to write for jjk!!! please Sashi, can you write an nsfw toji x f! reader with the prompt The red lights of Kabukichō. tw: MNDI. dark! content. reader is a sex worker from the kabukicho red district. toji has no respect for you. oral, rough, spanking, slapping, unprotected sex, cream pie implied, you look like Megumi's mom. first time I write for Toji pls be soft on me. wc: 2k masterlist

A lucky round, for the very first time at Pachinko. Fushiguro Toji feels pleased; he lies on the backrest of his seat, right in front of an old machine and next to many other people desperately trying to win something. The more desperate they get, the more they lose.

Poker, Mahjong, horse races. money, lose the money. lose your life, lose the time until it is over.

“It looks like you have a lot of luck tonight, mister” a woman whose face he simply ignores, paws his wide frame.

“Get off, bitch” he mutters, scaring her away with his sharp -but really tired- eyes.

The lady walks away, spitting expletives that Toji couldn’t hear -nor cared to do so-. However, consequences were about to hit him.

Two guys, or maybe gorillas, appeared right behind his seat. “Sir, I must ask you to leave” one of them says, trying to snatch him from behind, passing one of the arms around his neck.

Unfortunately for them, as well as for Toji, the strength and speed of his Zen’in body  allows him to not only avoid the attack but also smash the head of the aforementioned gorilla against the Pachinko machine.

“Fuck you” he grunts, knowing too damn well the aggression didn’t come because of him disrespecting a lady but rather because his “luck” wasn’t welcomed into their business.

Honestly, given the right moment, Toji would have killed them both in no time… but tonight was different; some years -he doesn’t even remember how many- have passed and today marked the anniversary of his wife passing.

Toji stole a bun from the guy that was sitting by his side and walked away from the Pachinko parlor before the astonished looks of the people there. Nobody dared to follow him, they knew death would find them if they dared to mess a single second more with that man.

His steel blue eyes shine red as the lights of Kabukichō receive him in their sensual embrace. The attractive concupiscence of beautiful women dancing on windows catches his attention, but no woman is enough to make him feel any type of pleasure.

He is well aware of the many scams there, but he is sure nobody could scam him more than he could scam them.

Many women and men come closer, wearing revealing suggesting outfits; they touch him, they call him inside their “shops”. Yet, Toji still walks unaware, as if possessed. Some even offer him their services for free, his handsomeness is undeniable; his strong physique, delicious and tempting.

“Sir, sir!” you call him, tapping insistently on his wide shoulder. “SIR!” you repeat, as he seems not to hear anything around.

Toji turns around, all of a sudden, grabbing your hand to stop poking him. “What the fuck do you want, I don’t wanna fuck you… you…” he angrily barks, stopping immediately after watching your face.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to… your… your wallet just fell from your pants” you tell him, scared and feeling the tight grip intensify around your wrist.

His eyes burn holes into yours, his expression turns troubled, darker. He is not blinking, and perhaps even not breathing.

“Do you work here?” he asks. “It’s my first night… I was promoting that- bar” you point out to the entrance of a quite ratchet facility of red and pink lights and semi naked woman pictures on their walls.  “I… your wallet” you murmur, showing him the black ragged leathery pouch that feels light and empty.

He lets your arm go and takes the wallet with absolutely no interest. His eyes, however, never let go of your face… you must be an interest to him?

“You… what’s your surname?” he asks, as if he was waiting to hear something revealing.

You frown; why would a complete stranger ask for your surname? Men in here only want one thing, and to them what’s your name is totally irrelevant for that purpose.

“It’s (Surname)” you tell him, either way. You had nothing to lose, after all.

He seems relieved but also a little disappointed. Truth is, that you look incredibly similar to his late wife… “Come here, I want you” he simply states, pulling from your hand to the inside of your work place.

You follow him with no time to say no… you wouldn’t say no anyway.

There is not much your boss can do either; he is in fact pleased to know that right after he hired you, you have already given him a client.

You open the door to the “rooms”. Precarious looking places that no man cares about as they only care the true purpose of his visit.

Once inside one of them, you close the door, and the red lights bathe both of your bodies as if it was a blood bath.

“Sir, which service would yo-“ you ask, but you are immediately silenced by his hand on your mouth. He pushes you to a round bed, making your back hit violently the mattress. You blink twice before he could pounce into you.

Toji is big enough to smash you with his body, and you honestly would love to die underneath his prominent chest tonight.

“I don’t care about the services you give, spread those legs” he orders, slapping the inner side of your knees.

You let your legs open wide, falling to each side. The short skirt you were wearing invites him to taste you; the buffed man with a scar on his lip sees everything you have to offer.

He smirks, so dark. And then, takes his black shirt off. His body is by far better than what you thought that tight shirt had already revealed to you. Each muscle perfectly showing like it’s been sculpted on his skin. The wide shoulders and prominent collarbones and pecs… he is the total embodiment of carnal desire.

Toji’s brute hands rip your almost transparent thong now; the elastic band snapping on your hipbone makes you squirm owning yourself to get his hand around your neck. “Stay still, bitch. You will have enough time to squirm around once I fuck you”

Your insides tremble, your core tenses. Such a disrespect makes you hornier instead of mad.

“Y-yes…” you stutter, finishing your words with a loud moan as his fingers penetrate you. Your back arches, and the more it does, the more he squeezes your neck.  

With lack of air and probably blue lips, your eyes turn white from pleasure. Your legs tend to close but you can’t as Toji prevents them to shutting.

“Hold on there, don’t close them. I need to prep you, you are too tight to me” he spits, reaching deeper with curled beckoning fingers hitting your top wall. You clench to the sheets, coffing and trying to grasp for some air… this man will kill you, and you will be smiling at him.

He takes his fingers out of you, giving you some seconds to rest. You watch your own arousal dripping down his hand and forearm. Toji sticks his tongue out in a disgusting, yet absolutely sexy way, and licks your salty products right from there.

“Not as good as my wife, but still good” he murmurs, leaving you startled… he has a wife?

Well, not exactly.

He turns you around from your right ankle, this man’s strength surpasses any limits. Your face hit the mattress, leaving you a little bit dizzy from the fall. Immediately after you could react, you feel two big hands lifting your ass from under your lower belly.

Knees carved on the bed, and also head as one of his heavy hands pass from your waist to your nape.

You sense two fingers spreading your folds, and the wet tongue of him licking from your clit to your ass. He has absolutely no decorum to do it, he does it so disgustingly lustful. Toji’s nose buries in your perineum as he sometimes focuses on your throbbing clit, sucking hard until your inner thighs begin to spasm and tremble.

Some spanks are added, that leave your cheeks burning. He goes even down, hitting the back of your thighs, a place that hurts but makes it even better. You are sure by now you must have created a pool of your fluids underneath you, and if not… well, you are most likely about to.

“Ehj… so wet…” he pants once he stops eating you out.

With difficulty you see him through the mirrored walls cleaning his mouth with the back of his forearm. Slanted eyes peek through black strands of hair, they meet yours and It’s both scary and hot.

Toji smirks, so devilishly and turns you once again around from your leg. You are like a mere doll to him.

He buries his fingers in your cheeks, making your lips pout and your eyes widen. You are still panting, so your breathing sounds loudly in between your fingers and a drop of saliva pools right in the middle of your lower lip.

That man has the look of a murderer, of a devil. With just one hand he gets rid of his grey pants along with his underwear. Your eyes confirm why he mentioned the need of you getting “prepped” as he exhibits his hard sex.

Purplish tip, veiny. It is not gigantic, but still constitutes a challenge for anyone to be able to take it. He is not going slow, nor carefully… and you know that for sure.

“I’m going raw, hope you are ready to become a single mother” he lets you know, as if you didn’t know already. You limit yourself to nod. You are honestly more worried for the integrity of your insides than that.

Toji kneels on the bed, sitting on top of his heels. He grabs you by your hips, pulling you over his lap to get your sex closer to his. A sex that with the simple touch of his warm precum covered tip makes your already overstimulated you to shiver.

His fist, also veiny, clench around his shaft. Toji pumps up and down two or three times and then plays with your wetting mess and his, giving you little slaps with his tip.

Strings of transparent lubrication mix; your neediness is that big you squeeze one of your breasts… it seems eternal, the wait, the desire…

The penetration. “Ngh…”

You arch your back while Toji penetrates you deeper and mercilessly, there is no escape as he has you trapped by the sides of your hips. Your toes curl, feeling the stretching of your cunt, and swearing his tip has probably reached a place nobody has ever reached inside you.

He begins fucking you, without moving a single muscle but his muscular arms. He is using you as a fleshlight, and his eyes are fixed in your beautiful pleasure façade.

“Keep moaning that way, you are almost identical” he grunts, moving you in and out faster and harder.

You aren’t very sure to who you are almost identical, but your brain has become nothing but a mere dumb slave of that lustful sexual torture.

He lifts from his heels, along with you. Your face and barely any of your nape remain on the mattress. To him moving your body, he adds his own hip thrusts. The sound of your skin slapping is almost as loud as your whining.

His forearm is the only thing holding you up by the small of your back, while his free hand now rips your little shirt open. Your breasts bounce in pure freedom, calling him to bite them so brutally. And so, he bends over to reach for your hard nipples.

Toji’s eyes never leave your façade, he seems possessed as he enjoys and also suffers.

“Fuck you bitch, how come you are that similar to her… you do the same fucking face” he spits, slapping your face and then burying his index and middle finger inside your mouth.

You choke but suck desperately. Your moans get muffled by his salty fingers; your sex has already undergone the stage of climax more than twice.

He can go for hours, pumping deep in you, biting your breasts, slapping you… and he does, until your conscious begins to fade, and he wishes to fill you up.

“Hold my cum inside, maybe I can give the fucking clan another kid” “Sir…? Which clan?”

I only touched her; I only fucked her because she looked just like you… I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much...

[mirisss]

Fated No More

Enhypen OT7 x afab! reader

Soulmate au, angst, Enhypen are still idols in this though you can think that their ages are a little older than in reality - specifically Jungwon and Niki, 

Warnings: angst, sad, Enhypen members being very rude/mean to reader, talk of depression, Lies, Enhypen kind of getting scammed, 

Summary: In a world where everyone has a soulmate some people have multiple, but what if the one you’re fated to be with doesn’t want you? 

Wordcount ≈ 3.4k

Thank you for the request @lene03! I hope you enjoy it and that it lives up to your expectations! I’m sorry if it turned out a bit too angsty.

Part 2, Part 3

Third Person POV

(Y/n) knew early on in her life that she was blessed with more than one soulmate. The day she turned 5 a small tattoo appeared on her right shoulder of the initials of her soulmate, L.H. It was strange for someone to receive their soulmate mark so early, though it all made sense as she received another one on the day she turned 7. This time the initials appeared on her left wrist, P.J. The next one appeared on her 10th birthday, S.J., and this one was placed on her right wrist. The fourth one appeared on her 12th birthday, this one like the first was placed on her shoulder though the P.S. was placed on the left shoulder. K.S. Was the fifth initial to appear, this one came on her 14th birthday and was placed on her right ankle. (Y/n) wondered how many soulmates she could possibly have as five was more than usual. If someone had multiple soulmates it was usually no more than three, at least that’s what she could find when doing research. Nonetheless, she was ecstatic and hoped that these boys lived close to her and to each other so they could quickly find one another. On her 15th birthday, she examined her entire body wondering if maybe she had received another name, but she found nothing, perhaps she didn’t have a sixth one. A year later as she woke up on her 16th birthday, she was shocked to find a pair of new initials on her thigh. Y.J. A sixth soulmate. That must be it? Right? I can’t possibly have more, right? Was what (Y/n) thought. Two years passed and it was now (Y/n)’s 18th birthday, last year she had not received any new initials but she wasn’t calm yet as she figured out that the initials only appeared every 2 or 3 years. This meant, that today was the last day she could receive an initial as after you turn 18 you can’t receive anything more unless your bonding is from scars or something like that. Tattoos are not included in that category. (Y/n) got up out of bed in the morning first looking at, the now familiar, initials she had received over the years. She then began searching for a possible new one, and she quickly ended her search as she only had to look in the mirror on her left collarbone, where she found N.R. as a small yet noticeable tattoo. Seven. Seven soulmates. That’s a lot, but (Y/n) couldn’t be happier. All her life, that hasn’t been that long, she had felt that she had a lot of love to give, more than just one person could receive. And she was ready to feel that love from her seven soulmates too. She just had to find them. Are you looking for me too? 

*A month after (Y/n)’s birthday, at school*

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)! (Y/n)!” “Moa! What’s up?” (Moa is (Y/n)’s best friend, change the name if you want to,) Moa sat down beside (Y/n). “You have to help me vote during lunch,” “What are you voting for? The next prime minister?” “No, something important! It’s for a survival show!” “Of course it is, haha, alright, here, download whatever app I need or whatever and show me a performance of the one or ones you want me to vote for,” “You’re the best (Y/n)!” Moa showed (Y/n) a few performances pointing out her favorite trainees, (Y/n) had to admit everyone was very talented and handsome. (Y/n) didn’t notice at the time that the seven people that Moa was fangirling for matched the initials on her body though it hit her ones one of them, Park Jay, was particularly close to the camera with one of his hands and she saw multiple initials on him, ones that just so happened to be matching hers. “Moa, do you also see my initials on Jay’s wrist? Or am I just crazy?” “HUH?!?” Moa paused the video and moved close to the screen. “We might just be delusional but yeah I definitely see your initials and also two others that match some of the ones on you,” “Is it possible that he’s one of my soulmates?” “I mean it could be anyone so yeah it’s possible but at the same time, it could just be a coincidence that the initials match your own and the ones on your body,” “But if he’s an idol, or becomes an idol, it’s going to be all the more difficult to meet him,” “Yeah, it will be really hard,” A few weeks passed by with nothing much happening except the survival show ended and Enhypen was formed. (Y/n) kept up with the show after that day and she was convinced that it wasn’t a coincidence that all the members matched the initials on her body, along with her finding her initials on Jay, that first day, and later on seeing them on Heesung and Sunoo too. (Y/n) was trying to find out if the boys had found out they were soulmates or if maybe it was just a coincidence that the initials matched. So far, she got nothing. 

* At the Enhypen dorm * 

The boys found out as soon as they met that they were soulmates as their tattooed initials slightly burned and began glowing until they touched each other to stop the burning and calm down the glowing. They had a conversation regarding the last initial that they all shared, speculating over whether it would be another guy or if it was a girl, or maybe someone non-binary. “I think it will be a girl, I can just feel it,” “Yeah? Feel what? The bullshit you’re pulling out of thin air?” “Oh shut up Niki, you don’t understand the things I know,” “Hyung, you sound like you’re sixty years old or something,” Heesung and Niki were sitting on the couch just talking when they suddenly entered the topic of their eight soulmate, causing a friendly bicker between the two. “No matter what gender they have, I’m sure they will fit in just great with us,” Jungwon said as he entered the living room to end the bickering. The boys couldn’t wait to find their final soulmate, though they knew it would be difficult to find the last soulmate since they were idols. 

* A year later *

During one of Enhypen’s fan meetings, Jake noticed that the fan in front of him had a tattoo with matching initials of his own, he hadn’t felt any burning sensation nor seen either his own or the girl's tattoos glowing. Yet he felt obliged to ask for her name to see if maybe fate was just slow with reacting to them being so close to each other. “Excuse me, what was your name?” The girl giggled and blushed before answering. “(Name)” (Aka, a name matching your initials) Jake gasped as the name matched the initials he and the other boys had tattooed on them. “Excuse me, manager-nim,” Jake called over their manager who quickly came over to him, worried that the girl had done something bad. Jake whispered to the manager about the situation and that he suspected the girl might be their soulmate, The manager nodded his head and after the girl finished speaking with all the members, the manager arranged for her to come backstage. The girl was then informed of why she was given this chance. The girl knew that she hadn’t felt anything from her initials meaning she wasn’t Enhypen’s soulmate but feeling a bit greedy and wanting to meet with them she agreed, lying by saying that she had felt some burning when meeting with the members. She thought she would be stupid to not take this chance, she didn’t care about the truth for now, after all, she could only benefit from this situation. Once the members got to the backstage area Jake had already told them of what he saw and their manager said that the girl had experienced some burning. While the boys thought it was strange that they hadn’t felt it they played it down to that perhaps they got used to the burning from experiencing a strong burning sensation when they met each other. Soon enough, they had fallen in love with the girl. 

* Yet another year later *

(Y/n) had studied hard with the determination to attain a job at HYBE in order to meet her soulmates and after two years of finding out who her soulmates, probably, were, she had succeeded. “Moa! I can’t believe this! I got the job!” “WAAAHH! CONGRATS!” After graduating from high school, Moa and (Y/n) moved in together, it was difficult getting by but they managed. Now though, everything would be better because (Y/n) finally got a well-paying job. “Let’s order some good food and celebrate!” “Yes!” 

“Ah! I can’t believe it’s your first day already! I feel like a proud mother sending her daughter off to the first day of school!” “Haha, you look like the part too, good luck at the shop later, I’ll see you for dinner!” And so, (Y/n) headed out for her first day at HYBE. She knew it might take some time before she could meet with Enhypen, though it was worth it as long as she could find out eventually if they were her soulmates or not. This was a step in the right direction. 

* 2 Months later *

“(Y/n), good job, You’ve really shown how skilled you are during such a short amount of time. Manager Sung here is in need of a new assistant manager and after seeing how tenacious you are I believe you would be a great fit for that position,” (Y/n)’s boss was praising her, she surely did deserve it for everything she had done during just two months. Manager Sung, does he work with a debuted group or with the trainees?” “Oh, right. I didn’t tell you about that, Manager Sung works with Enhypen,” (Y/n)’s smile widened so far her cheeks hurt. Finally, she thought. 

A few days later, (Y/n) was heading to the practice room in which she would meet Enhypen for the first time. She was to be in charge of their schedule for the day as Manager Sung was busy with meetings. (Y/n) stopped right outside the doors, “Deep breath, (Y/n), deep breath,”. The second (Y/n) opened the door and stepped inside, she was met by all her soulmate tattoos burning like crazy as well as glowing like a raging fire during a pitch-black midnight. The Enhypen boys also felt the burning and saw the glowing. They didn’t understand why it was happening now as they already had their eighth soulmate. Soon the burning calmed down and the seven boys turned to the door to find an unfamiliar girl standing there with tattoos that were glowing just like theirs. “Hi” Was all (Y/n) said as she was in awe of how handsome they all were. “Who are you?” Sunghoon asked while the boys all moved closer to each other, not wanting to be too close to the unfamiliar girl. “I’m (Y/n), I’m Manager Sung’s new assistant manager. Nice to meet you,” They introduced themselves as Enhypen, keeping it very formal. (Y/n) was confused over why none of them had mentioned the whole soulmate thing yet, she knew that they had felt the burning based on what she saw and heard as she stepped into the room. (Y/n) cleared her throat and began explaining her assignment for the day, the boys’ schedule for the day mostly consisted of dance practice and some vocal training. “Yes, we know our schedule for today, thank you for reminding us though. I guess we will see you for lunch, bye,” Jungwon’s words were sharp and cold, just like the stares all seven boys directed toward (Y/n). “Oh? Uhm, I was told to stay with you all day so I’m just gonna sit in a corner, out of your way,” The only response (Y/n) received was a single nod from Sunoo before Jay prepared the music and Niki began showing them some good warm-up moves. (Y/n) sat down in a corner as she had said, sighing and wondering why the boys seemed to be so cold toward her. 

All too soon the day was over and Enhypen as well as (Y/n) were meant to go to their separate homes. “Wait! Can I talk with you guys?” “What? You a fan or something?” “I guess you could call me a fan, yes, Niki, but that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about. Please? Can we just sit down and speak for a few minutes? It’s really important,” “Alright, 5 minutes. Then we have to leave,” Heesung said while Jungwon took up his phone alerting their driver of the short delay. The eight of them sat down by a table in the corridor, the boys all seemed to have bored looks on their faces while (Y/n) was giddy with happiness. “So, um. Did you notice anything special when we met each other?” “No, not that I can think of,” “Are you sure?” (Y/n) began doubting herself as they denied her suspicion of them being her soulmates. “Yes, we are sure. Was that all you wanted to talk about? If so, we’ll take our leave,” “No, wait. Please. The second I stepped into that room the seven initials I have tattooed on my body began burning and glowing, the initials matches yours exactly. That should mean something, right? That should mean that you guys also felt something,” “Look, (Y/n), was it? We already have our eighth soulmate, we don’t have a ninth,” Sunoo usually looked so sweet whenever (Y/n) had checked variety shows that Enhypen joined yet now, his words were almost mocking and mean. “No, but, I’m your soulmate,” “Maybe fate got it wrong this time because we love her and we’re fated with her,” (Y/n) could feel her heart breaking at Jake’s words, the smile she once wore was turned into a shaking frown as she tried to hold back her tears. “We’ll leave now, goodbye, miss assistant,” They got up from the table and walked away without turning back once to check on her. 

That night as (Y/n) got home, Moa noticed the glum look on her best friend’s face and the tears waiting to fall from her eyes. “(Y/n)? What happened? What’s wrong?” Moa rushed toward (Y/n) as (Y/n) collapsed on the floor after getting her shoes off. “They have someone else,” “What? Who?” “Enhypen, Moa. They have another soulmate, they rejected me,” “No, that’s not possible, how could they have someone else if you’re their soulmate? Did you feel the burn?” “Yeah, it sure did burn and glow, and I saw theirs glowing too yet they still deny it,” “Maybe they are just confused, try talking with them a little every day so they can warm up to you and realize that you are their true soulmate,” “I’ll try, thanks Moa,” “Everything will work out, don’t worry,” 

(Y/n) continued trying to have small conversations with Enhypen though her attempts resulted in nothing but cold shoulders and the silent treatment. It was clear that they wanted nothing to do with her, (Y/n) tried to remain positive through it all, and hoped that the next day would be better. However, each day seemed to only get worse. Working so closely with them made it all the more difficult to ignore their icy attitude. Three months after their first meeting, Enhypen had grown tired of (Y/n)’s constant tries at getting close to them. They were over her. Their girlfriend, (Name), was not happy once the boys had told her of (Y/n). They said that they knew (Y/n) was their true soulmate and not (Name) but that they loved (Name), not (Y/n). (Name) was happy that they chose her over their true soulmate considering she had done the same for them, though she had yet to meet her true soulmates. “Hi boys, great work on the music video so far, want to eat lunch together?” “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE US ALONE? IS IT SO HARD TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT WE DON’T WANT YOU? WE ARE COMPLETE, WE DON’T NEED YOU, FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO BOTHER,” They all took turns yelling at her, fortunately, no one else had seen or heard their outburst. Once they had finished screaming, (Y/n) was crying silently, her whole body was shaking. The boys felt their soulmate marks itching and hurting, most likely a sign of them rejecting (Y/n) and being so harsh to her. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave,” (Y/n) turned around and left the location, telling Manager Sung that she wasn’t feeling so good and needed the rest of the day off along with the next day, Manager Sung agreed and hoped she would recover quickly. 

“Moa, I’m gonna quit my job at HYBE and move somewhere else. I’m sorry for the inconvenience this will cause you,” “(Y/n), no. We’ll fix this. You can find a job somewhere else around here until you do I can cover rent, with my raise I received recently that will be fine, We might have to cut down our food expenses a little but we’ll manage,” “I can’t stay here, I can’t be close to them, it hurts Moa. I can barely breathe, my body is numb and heavy, I can’t move it, I would rather die than stay here,” “Okay, we’ll find a way. I’ll help you, We promised to stay with each other so wherever you go, I shall follow,” “I wish you were my soulmate, Moa, it would have been so much easier, don’t you think?” “Yeah, it probably would,” And so, (Y/n) sent in her resignation letter to HYBE, saying it would be immediate and the reason was because of a family situation. The two friends began searching for new jobs abroad and apartments as well until they finally found two jobs perfect for them and an apartment in (Country and city of choice). (Y/n) had become severely depressed but having Moa around helped a little. 

A year goes by and one day when (Y/n) wakes up, she comes to realize that the once vibrant soulmate tattoos have begun fading. The marks hurt the first weeks after the rejection but now they only brought her emotional pain as she looked at them. With every day the marks faded more and more until they were no longer visible. (Y/n) knew she wouldn’t receive a second chance in this lifetime yet she was relieved that she at least no longer had to stare at the initials who broke her heart. The Enhypen members had not been as blessed as (Y/n) when it came to the marks, theirs were constantly itching from the day that they screamed at her. The marks were bringing them a lot of discomfort yet they still stayed with (Name), refusing to leave her because they loved her too much. Perhaps fate was punishing them for the way they acted toward (Y/n), the truth might never be known, but the thing that is certain is that they are fated no more. 

Hope you liked it, please reblog!

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Please stop platforming the spam gofundme asks - there are so many scams and usually I would agree with "if one legit person in need is among them I should help them all" but these scammers are taking money and aid from genuine Palestinian victims and often spoofing links that seem to go to gofundme or similar but are actually going to steal your credit card info. Yes even the "vetted ones" - the tumblr "vetting" blogs have had proven scams marked as legit and some of them are set up just to "vet" scams and add legitimacy to them. I will not say to not help at all. Instead, please promote known charities. esims for Gaza are providing connectivity, and the Palestine childrens relief fund has been operating for years to get food and medical help where it is most needed. Doctors without borders are right in the thick of things and always need more supplies. There are many more, including sites that accumulate donations for families and can put your money to better use than sending to one person even if you manage to find a real one. This is very much like donating money to a food bank rather than choosing goods yourself - it might not feel as personal but it can do a lot more good.

I'm not even surprised by the depths of human depravity anymore

I really had no idea how to tell which were scams and I also didn't know how to tell if the vetting was legit and I didn't even know where to begin looking for legitimate sources to find out because everything is so easily faked now

I get them pm'ing me really heavy guilt trips too like jfc I'm getting these messages every damn day and I didn't know what to do and I felt terrible ignoring them because I haven't been able to donate anything myself because even if I DID know who was legit I don't have nearly enough money to donate to that many people anyway, fucking hell I'm so sick of this why are people like this

thank you for the info I'll stop posting them

[buckyarchives]

Domestic Life Of a Living With a Runaway Assassin. [Intro.]

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x soulmate!reader

Summary: you hate many things in life. you hate soulmates. you hate the avengers. you hate guns. you hate loud snorers and complicated relationships.

Bucky Barnes is associated with all of those things, yet you can't find yourself hating him

W.c: 2.1K

Series playlist linked here

Author note: this was actually one of my first long form fics I wrote in many years, its carrys a nostalgic feeling and means a lot to me. i wrote it like last October and thought abt kinda rewriting some stuff and posting it here! I thought some of you guys woudk enjoy this story. this is only a short darbble that teases the story, next chapter shows how they met and everything after that. It takes place right after CA:TWS and it’s a soulmate AU!

Masterlist

Soulmates.

The legend goes that when the universe was created and whatever higher power you believed in created humans to have two sets of legs, two sets of arms, and two heads. Now because the world is cruel and no one can have nice things, whoever is in charge up there split us up into two beings but forever being connected by our souls. Spending the rest of our life waiting and searching for our other halves. Never being our true whole selves without them. How poetically tragic.

It turned into a weird way to make money nowadays, you felt like no one really cared about the reality of soulmates now. It was made into shitty romance movies, or stupid scientific searches for your one and only soulmate that was definitely an internet scam. People literally faking soul marks towards celebrities for their one chance with them that their delusional minds make up. 

All just a desperate attempt to feel whole and loved but your one and true person. Always and forever destined to be.

What a touching story. Too bad you think it's all bullshit

No genuinely, you were supposed to believe your life's purpose was to find this one person in the entire universe that matched you, and without them, you what? you were going to be miserable for the rest of your life? The universe is a scam. You had given up on the whole mad search for your other half years ago, you didn't understand why you couldn't go out and find your own partner without having to match up those stupid words on your shoulder. 

“I'm sorry, you probably don't feel very safe with me.”

Those stupid words. You hated the idea of soulmates but you couldn't stop yourself from the hours of wondering just what the hell that was supposed to mean. You had no interest in seeking out your soulmate but you could wonder what type of person they may be. Were they really a dangerous person? Would you genuinely not feel safe with the said person when you first meet? Would you even meet them?

Questions had swirled through your head since the day you got it. Those questions had died down a little, you were getting older and most of your peers had already met their soulmates. You noticed soulmates were not just romantic, they came in friendships, some didn't work out, some came between children and parents, and some came through your fire escape at night, covered in blood and knocking down your favorite plants.

With a loud crash, your feet carried you through your new york apartment to your living room. You saw the outline of him crouched down on the floor. “I'm so sorry, I know that was your favorite plant.”

Okay, spoiler. You had found your soulmate. You weren't excited about it as the rest of the world expected, but it happened. You weren't some hypocrite that would suddenly abandoned all beliefs and fell head over heels for your soulmate once you met like one of those stupid romance movies you mention earlier, you were not some cliche. Especially not with a poor excuse of a runaway-brainwashed-assassin soulmate, at least you would try convincing yourself that.

“My god Bucky, how many times do I have to tell you to just go through the door.” you pinch the bridge of your nose as the tired old man scrambles to clean up the dirt and scattered pot beneath him. “I mean, you practically live here now.”

“I'm not using the door, someone could see me.”

You think Like that's better than having someone see you climb through the fire escape, asshole. You scoff and shake your head and begin dragging yourself to the kitchen. You had a slight quirk at the end of your lips, an amused smile, you hoped Bucky didn’t see in the dark. Maybe he did, you didn’t really have enough time to ask him the deets on the effects of the serum. 

You swing open the cabinet door and grab a trash bag and first aid kit. God only knows how bent out of shape bucky is tonight. Making your way back into your living room, Buckys still muttering under his breath about your stupid plant and “god dammit it's fucking freezing out there.”

throwing the trash back at him, he looks up at you. His eyes are beautiful. His hair is sopping wet and you were hoping to any god above that he wasn't bleeding out on your floor. You were not losing your security deposit for your reckless runaway assassin soulmate. God, that's a mouthful, you need to give him a new nickname.

 “So, what's the damage?”

“s’ nothing, I'm just cold. It started raining hard.” he looks like a wet shaking dog. Your heart aches.

You look him up and down. Noticing the water dripping from all his clothing. “I see that.”

You sigh and take a few steps toward him. Bucky eyes follow your moments precisely. He has a bit of a staring problem. You snag the hair tie off your wrist and swiftly tie his brunette wet mop of a head into a little man bun. Cute. you shake your head.

“Stay, I'll be right back.”

Bucky watches you in awe as your body ascends back into the darkness of the room and around a corner. He's uncomfortable and his socks are wet. The leather vest is wet and he feels like he's trapped in his own skin, and Bucky feels too heavy. 

Slowly, he begins to unstrap all weapons on his body and toss them to the side so you don't have to see them. You didn't like guns. He had a designated place where he hides them because god-forbid Bucky messes up your apartment aesthetic with his dozen of unsettling and quite scary weapons. Your words, not his.

Unzipping the leather top and peeling the fabric off himself was less than a nice feeling, it made him cringe and sent a quick shiver down his spine. Bucky tossed it to the side, he’ll deal with that tomorrow. His hands feel the thin black shirt that's left, it's wet too. Fucking hell. He doesn’t remember the New York weather being this bad in September, he also barely remembers anything so his memory isn’t too reliable. Bucky slowly peels the fabric over his head, he hopes he doesn't mess up the bun you did, he never did it right.

Bucky hears your feet pad against your floor. He pushes back a smile. You're holding a towel and some clothes. He watches you as you crouch down next to him on the floor, he notices that your eyes are squinted and your bed head is apparent. A twinge of guilt hits him now knowing he had woken you up. Bucky whispers, “I woke you up.”

You sigh, again. “I was having a bad dream anyways.”

“About?”

You inhale, scoffing to yourself. “I was being chased by Jimmy Fallon with a jar of pickles – because you know, I hate pickles – and he was yelling at me about the importance of eating vegetables, but he sounded just like my mom.”

Bucky didn’t remember who Jimmy Fallon was, “you must think you’re so amusing, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Bucky curls his toes and is unfortunately reminded of his very wet socks. He leans forward to untie his hefty boots. Your eyes trail along his naked back, his muscles flex and suddenly you are just a little more awake. You watch his left arm in all its glory, taking note of the ragged and scarred tissues where metal meets skin. Scratch marks are littered around the edges, and you feel sad for him, imagining how those got there. The moonlight highlights his metal arm, making it shine and look quite beautiful. You could never tell Bucky that.

“It's been a week.” you finally breathe out. Bucky freezes in place as his fingers wrap around his laces. He feels guilty again. “And you didn't leave a note this time either. I thought...”

Trailing off, you stop yourself before you say something you were going to regret. Your mind wanders, you felt so incredibly stupid right now. Truth is, you didn't agree with the whole soulmate ordeal but it seemed like ever since your unconventional first meeting with Bucky, he has stuck to you like glue. He just kept coming back and then leaving again. 

It took you many of his overnight stays and weirdly domestic mornings making scrambled eggs together and then turning into a worry machine after he leaves. You realized had grown to care for him deeply. Bucky always came back, but you were scared for the day we might not. 

Bucky is– literally, a lost puppy. He had been on the run and actively avoiding the few stray agents that knew he was still alive when he met you. 

Bucky remembered back when he was a kid, dreaming about the day he would meet his soulmate. He and Steve would stay up all night talking about their soul marks, or just words (as they used to call it), and what they thought their soulmates would be like. Bucky was obsessed and simply put, a hopeless romantic. 

Then Steve met his soulmate, Peggy. And then he technically died and Hydra happened, Bucky thought his soulmate would have been dead because he was out of his time now. After being brainwashed and having been broken and put back together by Hydra, Bucky could still never shake the feeling of you still being out there, it was like some instinctive feeling in his bones, he had hope and it was one of the only things keeping him going. 

And he was right.

Bucky had many doubts when he first met you, given his situation. But you were not scared. And that was enough for him at the time.

But now he just feels guilty for giving you the burden of being his soulmate. He was trying, really.

“I'm sorry, doll.” his voice didn't sound like his own, he shrugged the rest of his boot off and followed with his socks. Finally. “I should have left a note. I'm safe, you're safe, and I'm here now.” 

Bucky heard you sniffled and you turned your head with an embarrassment look and glossy eyes. Like you were ashamed for caring.

“sweetheart...” he scooted closer, hoping you wouldn't mind his damp skin on yours. Bucky reached for you, wrapping his flesh hand around yours and giving you a small squeeze. Your head turned to him, a small smile hidden on your face by the darkness of the room. He saw it. Bucky might even think you're an angel. “I won't leave without saying something next time, I'm sorry.”

“Do I even want to know what you were doing out there?”

He hated lying to you but his life was complicated. “Just trying to fix some things I did.”

You nod. “Good.”

The silence between the two of you isn't uncomfortable, the past few months have been silent– at least with bucky. He is your soulmate. He is also the winter soldier, and the winter soldier is always moving and hiding. Bucky Barnes is always moving, always. He had been that way even way back in the Howling Commandos. 

You were his safe haven. Your relationship was on and off but your bond was strong, it was wordless and tentative and strung together by patching wounds at midnight and soft, domestic glances over coffee. Your house– just you were his place where he could just stop, pretend as if nothing mattered and sit on the couch and watch reality television that you loved. Bucky found it questionable but you said “it will help you get with the times.” Bucky just watched it because he knew it made you happy. 

Bucky Barnes had been moving all week, fast. He had almost died, twice. He was never going to let you know that though. Bucky was due for some Hell's Kitchen or dance moms. He was also not going to tell you that. 

The moonlight was fading and you could hear the faint sound of birds chirping outside, barely silenced by the bustling city life of people leaving for work. You are still sitting next to Bucky, and you nudge him with your elbow. His attention is now drawn to you. You bite your bottom lip, a horrible habit you had, bucky hated it. Bucky brings his thumb up to your face and pulls your lip away from your teeth. He wants to kiss you.

“Go take a shower, you stink.” That works too. He smiles and you laugh. Yeah, Bucky thinks he can stop for just a little longer this time.

-

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Tag list : @ivywasmaroon @ozwriterchick @slytherinambitious @wintermischief

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

hey slug,

whats ur opinion on the dh trailers?

Let's give them a listen! I'm currently in public waiting to catch a train, so I may breeze through this a little faster than usual.

Sasara's Laughin' Hope

(17 seconds in) Already obnoxious. (said with affection) Perfect for Sasara. Clashing dreadfully with the country song the café I'm in just started blaring.

(23 seconds in) Wait, no fancy subtitles? Channel Hypnosis Mic, you can't do this to me :(((

(30 seconds in) Oh okay there they are. I guess the earlier bit didn't have them because it was just snippets of other songs.

(33 seconds in) "So painfully aware of social mores it wraps back around to acting inappropriately" Cheers, bro, I'll drink to that. I like it that Sasara's acknowledging it outwardly to more than just himself or Roshou.

(45 seconds in) Man's opening tf up. You love to see it.

(52 seconds in) This song is too damn catchy to be listened to in public.

(1 minute in) "Gimme a light"... I wonder what that's supposed to mean. As in, light my cigarette? (That one gay-ass SamaSasa cigarette panel comes to mind.) Shine a light on me/illuminate me?

(1:08) I'm not a big autotune fan, but I'm kinda vibing with this.

(1:11) "Laughin' when I'm in pain, laughin' when I'm feeling fine" Homie is going THROUGH it

(Overall) I like Sasara saying the quiet part out loud--not just to himself, but to an audience. (Because it seems like most of his songs are performances, right?) Also a bop. Very fun!

Roshou's On My Way

(0 seconds in) All I can think about is that Phil Collins' room

(13 seconds in) I have literally no idea what to make of this, musically.

(33 seconds in) ...This feels like an anime ending. I think that's my only takeaway thus far. It's like...scrambling my brain. This isn't a bad thing. I'm just very...intrigued?

(39 seconds in) Okay the backing beat helps immensely.

(1:35 seconds in) Ohhhhhhh okay the "on" is from 途中. I think the vibe this title is supposed to evoke is kinda like "Work in Progress."

(Overall) I actually quite like this in terms of plot! It's a very hopeful song for Roshou and contrasts quite a bit with Sasara's song--he's openly acknowledging his issues and facing them head-on instead of being like "I use laughter as repression :) for the depression :)" The part starting from 1:29 is like: I'm still on my way Still hung up on the future Retying my shoelaces Only enemy to speak of is myself Only point of pride to speak of are my many failures All the answers I wrote that I went back and marked wrong Of course I wish I could back and do things differently, but I look up and watch the airplane shooting through the sky. Stop saying all the time: "Crap, what have I done?" "Crap, what do I do now?" Get out from inside my own head, Look out at the world around me. I see a long road ahead of me One that'll take so long to walk I don't know how I'll ever finish it. But let's go, one step at a time!

Rei's The World is Yours

No doubt orchestrated by Rei himself, Youtube gave me a financial scam ad on this video.

(8 seconds in) Yeah I can dig this.

(17 seconds in) What the fuck is that yelling in the BG

(26 seconds in) Oh, I like this a lot. There's an idiom in Japanese--"10 people, 10 colors"--meaning that each individual has their own unique outlook on the world. Here, Rei says "Repainting over the gray city [with] the ten people, ten colors seeping [into me]." Love seeing Rei express that other people enrich your life

(50 seconds in) He's unexpectedly honest in this song. There's a confessional or vulnerable quality to it I don't see often in Rei

(1:06) "Here and now, I'll fulfill a promise [I made] long ago and far away" Oh??

(Overall) Huh, interesting! Seems to be a "Life is what you make of it" sort of song

[bcisaidso]

I have got a hilson/House MD fic idea, so if anyone wanna give this a try, please go ahead, and inform me so I can read it.

It's a soulmate AU, whenever your soulmate is born, the first sentence they will ever utter to you will be tattooed to your skin in their handwriting. So most people get their soul mark within 5 years, but House keeps waiting for his. His mum tells him that for some people it can be a little later, but he's always worried he might be one of those people who for some reason don't have soulmates.

House finally gets a soul mark when he's 10 years old, on his right thigh, written in an almost illegible handwriting, "You paid my bail?" House adored his soul mark, staring at it for hours at times, eagerly waiting for his soulmate to be with him, so that he's finally not alone.

Fast forward to 25 years later, a guy holding an unopened envelope, and repeatedly fidgeting with his ring, has been capturing House's attention again and again for some reason. House finally decided to follow him to the bar, as he had nothing better to do there anyway.

The mirror breaking thing happen, and police arrived taking Wilson with them, on their way out, when Wilson passed House, he immediately realised its his soulmate, and uttered "Interesting." He also realised the man is married, and probably getting a divorce.

He bailed Wilson, Wilson uttered his first words to house. They were best friends from that day. House wanted to tell Wilson about the Soulmate thing, but the timing was not right, as he just got out of a marriage. Few months later, when they were drinking and watching TV together, House broached the subject, asking Wilson if he believes in Soulmate.

Wilson said he doesn't care about it much as it doesn't make sense. Wilson dragged down his collar, and right over the left side of his chest, written in a clean Hand writing is "Interesting". He explained he finds it so confusing, doesn't even keep count after 2-3rd time someone spoke this word to him, after being disappointed again and again, he just gave up. He also added that the entire soulmate thing sounds scamming to him, because how could universe decide a person is perfect for you before you even met the person. He would rather take his own chances with his love life. House never tried to talk about it again.

A few months later, Wilson started dating Bonnie, and soon got married. House dated Stacy for few years, then infarction happened. He said he would rather die than have his thigh mangled. Stacy knew it was because of the soul mark, she did not know it was Wilson's, but had accepted that her boyfriend cares about his soulmate a lot. Cuddy in the picture, asking Stacy to sign off on the operation, she did. And the thigh would be scarred, with the mark no more understandable at all.

Wilson saw the mark while taking care of house but as it was no more readable, he could not figure out what it said. He was always there for house, because of which, he started neglecting Bonnie, resulting in their divorce. After Bonnie, he slowly started to realise he has feelings for house, but he knew how much House cared for his soulmate, even though it made no sense to Wilson. Wilson was sure House would always choose his Soulmate over Wilson, like he chose them over Stacy.

Now I don't know what happens next. Whether house will confess, whether Wilson will figure out on his own, Whether Wilson will get married to his third wife first.

[morlock-holmes]

I've been chewing on this story from New York Magazine, whose financial advice columnist just got scammed out of $50 large by a group of scumbags.

The reactions have been sort of divided between vicious mockery and "Anybody can fall victim to scams on a bad day" and I find myself somewhere ambivalently in the middle.

How can I say this... I think I would need to be having a much worse day than this woman was in order to fall for a scam like this. In particular, it really seems like a financial advice columnist ought to have a much more solid confidence about the fact that enormous personal financial transactions like this don't ever need to happen in the span of a single phone call over a few hours.

But I don't agree with the attitude of "Come on, this is what happens when you're gullible" because, honestly I think that when people start believing that on a big scale that scams like this become easier to pull, rather than harder.

This particular scam is, I think, much easier to pull on people who are paranoid about the trustworthiness of institutions and feel that we live in a world where gullible people are rapidly and harshly punished.

One thing you'll see throughout the article is that the scammers will say something authoritative, and Cowles won't really know if it's true or not:

“I completely understand,” he said calmly. He told me to go to the FTC home page and look up the main phone number. “Now hang up the phone, and I will call you from that number right now.” I did as he said. The FTC number flashed on my screen, and I picked up. “How do I know you’re not just spoofing this?” I asked. “It’s a government number,” he said, almost indignant. “It cannot be spoofed.” I wasn’t sure if this was true and tried Googling it, but Michael was already onto his next point.

Or

My head swam. I Googled my name along with “warrant” and “money laundering,” but nothing came up. Were arrest warrants public? I wasn’t sure.

Or

 I was embarrassed, like I’d left my fly unzipped. How could I have been so thoughtless? But also — didn’t everyone use the airport Wi-Fi?

or

I knew I should probably talk to a lawyer or maybe call the police, though I was doubtful that they would help. What was I going to say — “My identity was stolen, and I think I’m somehow in danger”? I had no proof.

Here's the core of the scam, where you're hooked or not:

“If you talk to an attorney, I cannot help you anymore,” Michael said sternly. “You will be considered noncooperative. Your home will be raided, and your assets will be seized. You may be arrested. It’s your choice.” This seemed ludicrous. I pictured officers tramping in, taking my laptop, going through our bookshelves, questioning our neighbors, scaring my son. It was a nonstarter. “Can I just come to your office and sort this out in person?” I said. “It’s getting late, and I need to take my son trick-or-treating soon.” “My office is in Langley,” he said. “We don’t have enough time. We need to act immediately. I’m going to talk you through the process. It’s going to sound crazy, but we must follow protocol if we’re going to catch the people behind this.”

The scammer in this script is trying to get you to have two feelings, the first is "I don't understand what's going on" and the second is, "If I act without understanding what's going on something really terrible will happen to me."

The person who thinks, "Gullible and ignorant people get in lots of trouble because of their own ignorance, I can't let that happen, even though I'm confused" is far more likely to buy into the scammer's threats of dire consequences and actually get scammed.

This scam script actually relies on the mark believing that it's very dangerous to be gullible or ignorant, that doing so will get them into trouble. But since they are also convinced that they don't have the information that would allow them to make a good decision, they cede decision-making power to the scammer.

Instead, it's the person who thinks, "This feels like a scam. I could be totally wrong about that, but that's okay, being wrong this way and acting on it can't do me any harm" who hangs up on the scammer, calls an official government number, and finds out that they're being scammed.

When people live in a state where they reflexively mistrust institutions, and feel that acting from a place of ignorance or confusion is likely to get them into really big trouble that they can't get out of, I really think it becomes easier to scam people this way, not harder.

[linaharutaka]

gen question but isnt dedegoon or dedesuka or whatevr a proship? ive seen some ppl calling it a proship cuz its abusive but your bio says proship dni so idk if its ok to ship or what (sorry im new to this)

hiya! thank you for your ask! it isnt and heres why

first of all i am /Not/ proship. i am not anti-anti or whatever either. what drives me to ship them is the fact theyre friends who like to be in each other's company. i like their sweet moments together. they bond over scamming an innocent population and bullying children. they're partners in crime. theyre besties who talk shit about others as a hobby.

i also don't think theyre already dating. i look at their relationship and im like. you guys have some kind of weird crush on each other and you're also selfish assholes. they're in the world's worst situationship.

"but dedede whacks escargoon a lot!" not only does escargoon get physical towards him too (the dynamic starts shifting in the dentist episode) but his "punishments" are often for a reason. escargoon is often very mean to dedede. in almost every episode he calls him hopeless or stupid or ugly or anything like that. and that gets him a whack. if i were dedede i'd do that too! it'd piss me off! having my lackey who i pay and who i consider my best friend insult me so overtly over and over LOL. but does escargoon ever try and stop him his evil doing? hell no! the guy helps him and gives him advice and ideas! he is NOT a good guy either. he loves being mean! he literally says it!

of course escargoon cares a loy about him. pretty sure everyone is aware. i don't even need to compile all the times he runs after him or worries about his well being. one time he "left" after he realised he'd have to do all the waddle dee's chores and didn't want to do his job. guess who's shown tearing up when seeing what poor state dedede is in after being left all on his own. he's always protecting him and defending him (sometimes backhandedly) from other people. he holds dedede dear. it's obvious he does. he's an old man, he's not being manipulated into liking dedede. he genuinely cares about the guy.

there are episodes where they bicker a lot but end up getting along, episodes where they're the best of friends and episodes focused on their resentment against one another. the show kind of yoyos with their relationship. it's not really anything to take seriously. if you get offended from their interactions you'd get a heart attack from watching looney tunes. the back and forth of their dynamic is part of the fun!

I *highly* recommend watching the original version of the show as the dub often replaces sweet lines they share with jokes that don't really hit the mark. it's a shame. (however i will give the dub some credit on occasion)

Actually, i have a [post] that compiles a lot of sweet screenshots of them together. it doesnt include the times where they hold on to each other in the cannons or in the whispy woods episode or when esxargoon said "isnt this strange? can't you feel we're striving apart?" and dedede says "what! that's ridiculous!" in a lighthearted voice. or when escargoon makes a joke about a late night drive being romantic and dedede just? laughs in agreement? there's a scene where they call each other stupid in the most friendly way ever. i actually have a handy twitter of fun scenes where escargoon gets away with some things (doesn't include when escargoon yells at him in the fireworks episode or orders him in episode 69), like saying *he's* actually the one in power because dedede isn't competent enough to reign. or dedede understanding escargoon's concerns of him becoming dumber than he is already.

they're just villains who are attached to each other and are a team no matter what.

escargoon protects dedede a lot, and he cares about him more than what his job entails, but people tend to forget he's got a special place in dedede's heart too.

dedede keeps an album of pictures they took together. he never threatens to fire him and, as far as i know, never even cuts his salary and is the only one in the castle to even have a bonus. he shares the food he keeps from the waddle dees with him in episode 93. he clarifies he doesnt want knuckle joe's monsters to attack either of them. he's fine spending large amounts of money on him. twice? he never calls him ugly somehow. he even thanks him for having put up with him for so long and serving him well when the world is about to end. and then he clings unto him because he's scared of dying alone. his way of showing affection is not the "im crying because i think you're in danger" type of way that escargoon shows a lot but it's there.

Of course i don't think they're perfect gay rep. that's literally so stupid. you think im gonna look at two dumbasses who are bitter towards one another from what, a parodic, satirical children's anime from the early 2000s, and go "hmm yes this is what every queer couple should aspire to be this is peak lgbt rep"

If we're gonna talk about them how about we talk about some issues this show has that no one ever addresses. the colorism of the uv episode that is not put into question, not even by tiff, the moral compass. the rising sun imagery that is very much intentional as dedede is a caricature. the fatphobia? the fact kirby calls kawasaki and nagoya homos??? straight up???

people often blame episode 88, and yeah, it's not my favorite episode either. everyone's weird in that episode, not just dedede! yabui is far from empathetic, even the ebrums are disrespectful, and escargoon taunts dedede into chasing him for laughs and teases him about his old age. even at the end he teases him. i think it's one of those episodes that you just have to blame on the writers kinda like 89 (for example this one has got the right message but the execution is painful to watch. poor tiff.)

now, if 88 had changed their relationship it'd be a different matter. there are some sweet moments they share outside of their general "partners in crime" dynamic past episode 88 in my post actually! my favorite is the one where dedede has his arm around escargoon who's curled up like a cat while they're sleeping and the waddle dees are tucking them in from episode 91. it makes me so happy.

i could probably talk so, so much more about them. they're a huge comfort to me. however i don't trust just anyone with them. i am very much aware some people like them for the wrong reasons. but if you have a brain you can see where i'm coming from.

the show makes fun of them because they're evil, self-centered cowards. not because they're "gay" or anything like that. i saw someone call them queerbait one time and i had to log off for a minute.

anyway, to answer your question, people who do not recognize their genuine attachment to one another are bound to have a twisted view of them. i don't like dedegoon because they're "toxic" or awful to each other. but because they're each other's best friends. that's all. it's fine if you don't ship them, too. i just hope i can prove to people that they do matter to each other and that they're friends :)

[sebari-1004]

Uk supermarket tierlist because I saw a TikTok and their tierlist was simply wrong so here is mine

1. Lidl, cheap and not as crowded as Aldi. Very similar stuff but with a better overall vibe. Love Lidl <3 Get the app for shopping and get your partner in crime to get the app too but only use one of yours, every season or so they’ll hand out £5 off vouchers if you’re not a regular user of the app. The cat treats are good too. They’ve recently increased their cat food selection to have some more common brands now which is good too. Their own brand licki licks are the best bang for your buck on the market and highly worth trying for picky cats or cat meds.

2. Aldi, go there if you can’t go to Lidl. It’s too loud and crowded for me and the queues are annoying. I’m honestly not a fan. The queues remind me of primarks a Saturday. The stuff is cheap though

3. Sainsburys, go there when you’re feeling fancy ✨ genuinely though I go there once every so often for a special shopping experience. The blueberries are MASSIVE. Don’t get scammed by the garlic chives though, they’ll register as 2.25 but they’re actually £2.00. They have a decent cat food selection, a lot of fancier stuff too like Blink and scrumbles.

4. Asda, you go here when you need some specific and Aldi / Lidl don’t sell it. The vibes are fine, it’s not too crowded but it’s realll expensive for somewhere that used to be affordable, thanks for that one rishi (you don’t deserve my capital letters, you improper noun). The cat food selection here is okay but should be better. There’s not much range here but they have your classics like whiskas and felix.

5. Home bargains, SO MUCH FUN. Like fuck actually getting groceries, this is the trip of a lifetime. Don’t go there too often cause the novelty will wear off but god damn if the shit isn’t cheap and handy. Good for the occasional stroll, recommend going once every 6 months for funsies. You can go more often if you’re rich like that but we can’t afford that in this household. Limited cat food options, a lot of weirder unknown brands and paste texture cat food which hashbrown refuses to eat.

6. Morrisons is here next for sentimental value. Also breakfast was good here as a child and I like how much stuff they have. I like their cat food range but it’s not as good as Sainsburys.

7. Tesco, my fellow brits will hate me for this one but I don’t like the vibes of Tesco. The people there are just as poor as me but give off the vibe of feeling too proud to go to Lidl, like suck it up, the red bell peppers are 59p and the ones at my Lidl are huge. I weigh them sometimes for fun and they’re around 300grams, just go to Lidl. Decent selection of cat food too and they do seem to care about the price and affordability of it.

8. Green Co op, stuffs hella expensive for some reason and you can’t use the green co op card in the blue co op and vide versa which is really annoying but my sister likes going here so it’s eighth. The sweet selection is fine though.

9. Blue co op, we don’t need blue co op

10. Marks and Spencers, bomb cookies and gift stuff. Not much else, too expensive and we aren’t here living the lavish life.

Dishonourable mentions

11. Iceland, decent cakes but why go here when the range sells them too and the range is so much more fun to look through

12. Waitrose, who can afford this and why haven’t we eaten them for sustenance yet???

[rivetgoth]

Tbh on the topic of college, I am always gonna be thee biggest proponent of community college as a pathway to higher education for those who desire it. It’s such a scam that it’s not talked about more often and the vehement classism associated with it is just wild. I was an extremely mentally unwell teenager whose grades tanked in the latter half of high school, I switched schools and still struggled, and then graduated at age 17… I don’t necessarily think I could’ve gotten into any kind ov “dream school” right out of hs nor would I have been ready to, but going the community college route meant I was able to pay out of pocket for the first 2.5 years of school, I was able to take my classes slowly and experiment around with what I liked without it literally putting me in debt for the rest of my life, I had the time to start participating in clubs, get a job and start saving money, got my associates for transfer, AND I didn’t have to take a single standardized test to get into my dream university :) I left community college with a 3.9 GPA, a scholarship, a full resume, off to my dream city…

It genuinely feels sickening to me how much it’s looked down on as an option. About a fourth of UCLA students are transfers but the stigma against transfer students and community college was massive. I genuinely enjoyed my time at UCLA but the absolute worst part of the experience was the way people talked about community college. So many UCLA students were spoiled rich kids who were paying their way through like $50k tuition and recoiled in horror at the thought of needing to take out a loan. On “transfer day” (special event for newly admitted transfers to come explore the campus for the first time, get info about the program, meet and greet with faculty, clubs and job fair, etc) the speaker gave a whole speech like “People may judge transfer students but we support you and we know the stereotypes aren’t true!” and having never been to a 4 year before I was like… huh? But it was SO BAD dude. I remember having coworkers at the campus tutoring job I worked make comments about how “they could always tell if a paper was written by a transfer student.” I’d be like What do you mean? and they’d go on about how Oh well you know, transfer students just don’t know what they’re doing, their writing is less skillful, they aren’t as experienced… and I’d be like Well I’m a transfer and they’d IMMEDIATELY back down like “oh I don’t mean people like you though.” One of my professors gave a whole speech in the first quarter I was there after our midterm like “Now I know it’s the fall quarter and there may be some new transfers here and this is probably the first midterm you’ve had on a four year university campus, if your grade isn’t what you expected DON’T feel bad, it’s a learning experience and many transfers don’t understand the rigor it takes to get high marks here…” I GOT 100% DUDE!! Not just on the paper but I had one of the highest final grades in the class, so high that my prof actually waived the final paper for me and a small group of other students with the highest marks in the class LOL!! Stuff like this happened alllll the time. I can remember like so many little instances of someone talking about how community college and transfer students themselves just Weren’t As Good, capable, smart, etc as traditional students.

I graduated UCLA with a 3.8 GPA, so my GPA went down by .1 point between community college and four year university. While saving tens of thousands of dollars lol. I don’t really feel like I struggled particularly hard at all, I didn’t feel unprepared, and I honestly enjoyed socializing with my community college peers more than my UCLA peers. I felt a lot of solidarity with all of the transfer students I met in my classes and while working, even the ones struggling more than me. At my tutoring job when I was working with a student who mentioned they were a transfer and I told them I was too their eyes would light up! It was genuinely a really nice connection. But it blows my mind that it was partially formed out of this almost necessary solidarity via the weird fucking way people viewed it. I feel like community college was a huge part of where I started to turn my life around and get my shit together. It was not perfect but it gave me opportunities I never would’ve had otherwise. It’s very obviously classism and it’s very obviously just blatantly false—The whole idea that you’re “less prepared” for college by GOING TO COLLEGE than being a fresh-out-of-high-school 18 year old who took a couple [expensive] multiple choice tests administered by third party organizations is insane. And aside from the classism element the obvious trickle down financial benefit the schools have in pushing four year university is just so nefarious. Like the money being given to the College Board (AP and SAT), ACT, Pearson, etc not to mention the universities themselves… The school district here literally has to keep track of how many 12th graders go off to 4 year universities for funding purposes, community college isn’t even considered, so there is financial gain on all sides in pushing students to rush into life altering decisions that could cost them tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars and push themselves far beyond their limits for no fucking reason and to no benefit to them. Gah I could rant about this forever but omg. If I have any freshly-graduated or about-to-graduate people following me or anyone considering going back to school after taking a break please please consider community college and fuck the haters for real.

[fish-bowl-2]

i feel so corny for sending ppl asks all the time, but it's so dead around here. anyway what is your favorite and least favorite thing about each of the eds?

Hiiii and please NO WORRIES about sending asks. I love talking about these guys sm ��😭 I take any excuse to do so gladly.

Ed: - He's a big sweetheart. I feel like this is commonly re-iterated, but I really love how direct and "in-tune" he is to his emotions, even if they manifest in extremes. He loves his friends, and lets them know about it all the time! - Despite this, understanding the nuances of his friends feelings seems to come kind of difficult. If he finds something amusing/funny he will not take much notice of how that affects those around him. A good example of an episode displaying this is "X Marks The Ed" where he really doesn't seem to acknowledge how bothered Eddy is about getting a zit. There are plenty other examples of this in later seasons, but I specifics are not coming to mind atm. It can be kind of frustrating to watch, but I don't hold it doesn't feel intentional or with another incentive. Delayed social awareness is something common with a lot of people, and especially kids.

Edd: - I think credit needs to be given on just HOW often Edd puts himself into the confrontational position of defending/standing up for his friends. I mean, in BPS it is obviously a big deal, but it is not, per say, an isolated incident. Pretty often throughout the show he is the one apprehended by the other kids to "apologize" for Ed and Eddy. He's regularly put in the position of mediator. I wouldn't say he is willing to be in these positions, but he still ends up taking the reins. It is so fun to watch since Eddy clearly has a better hand at sociability whereas Edd is an awkward mess. Yet here he goes again having to defend his friends (Eddy) from the witch hunt. - He is the DEFINITION of the 🤓 emoji like omg dude SHUT UPPP. A good portion of the time he kind of deserves getting his ass handed to him when he is being too intolerable. Granted, he is an enjoyable kind of annoying for a character (at least to me). I can laugh at him because he reminds me way too much of how I used to talk/act in elementary and middle school. In a way it is a little cathartic. I love characters who are a little over-their-head and egotistical. It is a Frasier and Niles Crane appeal (if anyone gets that reference).

Eddy: - Dude is so creative...I mean just look at a majority of these scams. I know the other two also play a role in constructing and conceptualizing them, but a lot of them definitely originate from Eddy. Like, the goal is making money, but the effort and variety is insane. A different thing in almost every episode. IN COMBINATION usually with an over-zealous performance. An argument is to be made that he has a lot of legitimate fun carrying these out. - His fickle tendency to kind of treat his friends like shit. I mean...Ed and ESPECIALLY Edd are guilty of this as well. There are quite a few episodes where I'm just like "come on. Did Eddy really deserve this?" But, in all honesty, he can be pretty mean-spirited in the way that a lot of preteen boys are. With his tendency to push buttons and take advantage of the other Eds weaknesses, he is seriously lucky they are just as codependent to him, as he ultimately is to them.

[havinganormalone]

Annotated example of a failed fuck boy: red flags and how to spot bullshit

So I had a LOVELY encounter last night on tinder, and while the encounter itself was nothing uncommon, it was a perfect example of how certain men will try to lie and manipulate you to put you in an unsafe position. I wanted to breakdown the different red flags this guy gave off, as an instructional guide for anyone who might be new to the app dating scene, especially if you are kinky. Below the cut, I'll post the encounter, as well as annotations going blow by blow on the different red flags he gave off, and the vetting I did to get the information I need to determine he was unsafe, and some tips on how you can do the same.

Relevant context about myself: I am a genderqueer bisexual, so I choose people based on personality and compatibility, not gender. This means sometimes I still encounter cis het men on dating apps. That doesn't bother me, some are nice. But a lot will lie to you and say anything to get into your pants, including ignoring your gender. I am a trans masc butch, and say as much in my profiles, as well as that I am on T. Incels and pick up artists see me as a vagina and tits. This is not gay to them- I am confused and their dick can fix me. I'll let you know the tip offs that showed this guy falls into this camp.

I also am on the asexual spectrum, and am more interested in kink than sex. Again, this is plain as day on my profile. Many of these men will PRETEND to be kinky and have experience in order to con me into vanilla sex. They think being kinky means being easy or having low standards, will give lip service to being kinky, and then not know how to negotiate or do kink safely. When they show up, at best you're going to have them waffle and be like "I don't feel like having kinky sex tonight, can we do vanilla?" The goal is to get in the door with false promises and then hope to wear you down into having unsatisfying sex you don't want (and they will probably try to renege on any agreement to use protection while you are at it). At worst, this man is going to show up and do dangerous edgeplay on you with no experience and no proper negotiation- like starting to choke you during sex, which can kill you. I am experienced enough to have safety precautions and be able to hold my ground and send someone packing if they show up and do not honor agreements, but not everyone is, and spotting red flags before it gets to that point is the goal.

Okay, without further ado, let's get into it.

(Since he doesn't clearly show his face in his pfp, I'm not gonna bother to censor. It's not enough to identify him.) Yellow markings as things that aren't red flags and in certain contexts might be okay, but should make you cautious. Red is red flags. Green is my response and how I protected myself.

So right off the bat he gives me his number (which is censored). Any scammers or foul actors will want to get you off the app and talking through other means as quickly as possible. This is because if someone does scam me or hurt me, if we are still on the app, I can report it directly to the app and get that person banned. If we are off app, I will have to send in screenshots, and that extra step keeps scammers or foul actors retaining their accounts for longer. Be extra cautious the more impermanent or harder to report the method is: if you communicate only through snapchat, by the time the scam or harm is done, the evidence has deleted itself. However, I only put this as a yellow because there are several genuine reasons a person may not want to communicate via app. I personally hate typing on my phone and would rather talk through discord or another messaging service I can use on my desktop. However, be a little cautious when someone asks you to go off app. Don't give them any info that is too personal, and make sure you can save any evidence in the event it is needed. (Honestly I think this guy just wanted to send me dick pics, but it was not a great start)

He's up for ANYTHING I am? Wow! What an amazing deal! I better jump on it quickly! ANYTHING???? If I wanted to do an awesome fire play scene that incorporated live ammo, he'd be down??? The truth is, when you are actually experienced in kink, you know that you can't do everything on a moment's notice. Things take prep, the right space and equipment, as well as building trust. This fuck boy has no patience for that. He's here to put his penis inside me for 5 minutes and then leave. Being down for anything is code for him being desperate and being willing to make me promises he doesn't intend to keep.

We have so much in common! Like [INSERT HOBBY HERE]. He doesn't name anything he thinks we have in common, but leaves it vague and hopes I don't challenge him. This is a pick up artists strategy to attempt to "trick" me into thinking we are soulmates, when in reality, he isn't interested in getting to know me, and doesn't give a fuck about compatibility. Again, this is yellow because he could be sincere and just miswording it. You find out which it is by asking follow up questions, like I do later on, that reveal this to be a ploy.

He is projecting his desires onto me and assuming I want them without ever actually asking me what I want. He wants to spend the night with me, so of course I must want that. I'm just a dumb bitch, there's no way I'd have thoughts and desires of my own! Also I haven't even sent him a message yet, and already he's seeing into the future, as if it's a foregone conclusion I'll be head over heels for him. This is another pickup artist tactic- they pretend to be interested in the longterm, when in reality they want a one and done. If they're gonna be with you forever, maybe you can overlook a LITTLE one-sidedness in bed. After all, there will always be later! It's writing a blank check when your account is at zero. (Although also in reality, most of these wannabes are pathetic and desperate enough that they will come back for more as long as you let them use you and don't assert your own needs. All the more reason to assert your needs!)

skipped 5 cause I can't count lmao

Okay, so this is my first message to him. I'm already suspicious enough that I normally wouldn't even respond, but I enjoy baiting these guys for my amusement. I'm a sicko like that. Anyways, you would be perfectly justified for reading the initial flags and bailing, you never owe people a response, but if you did want to give them the benefit of the doubt, then from here I suggest you prod a couple of those red flags. Establish boundaries, like I did about not wanting to meet up immediately and caring about compatibility. Establishing boundaries early is great- it gives these fuckos plenty of time to demonstrate they can't respect boundaries before you even meet IRL! Efficient! Here, I ask a very simple question that is very revealing: What are you into? This is a chance for him to make a genuine connection, be honest and share information about himself, and then ask me questions so he can learn about me. Notice he does not do that. Someone who wants to be real with you, even if it's for a night, will jump at the chance to talk about themselves at length. We'll see how he dodges giving and specifics in the next few responses, because he doesn't want to be genuine. He wants to lie in order to deceive me into fucking him, because he suspects (and may be correct!) that his true self is repulsive and terrible enough that I won't want to sleep with him if I knew who he really was.

So he gives me a laundry lists of non-specific answers in response to me asking about himself. Absolutely NO specifics. He doesn't mention genre, or particular media, or even game systems. Important context is that I list writing, reading, anime and gaming as some of my own hobbies on my profile. Honestly, props to him for even bothering to reflect some of that information back, that took bare minimum effort! This is a yellow, because hey, maybe we DO have overlapping interests. That's not a crime. But when you see stuff like this, ask follow up questions, like I do in my next response. The fraud is trying to strike a delicate balance of throwing out a wide enough net that something piques my interest and he can use that as an opening to meet and pressure me into sex, while being vague enough that I won't be able to tell if we don't actually play the same video games or like the same books. Remember, he's not trying to see me as a person. He doesn't give a fuck about what makes me come alive. I probably like dumb girl games, anyways! I could never appreciate his precious animes in the same way, so there's no point getting excited about them with me.

Again, this is a dead giveaway that someone has no idea what the fuck they are talking about when it comes to kink. Wow, you're into EVERYTHING? Can I shit in your mouth? Would you be interested in gargling my period blood? Any thoughts about branding? All of these are perfectly acceptable kinks when done consensually, of course, but people who actually ARE kinky and have experience know themselves enough to know they have limits, or even things they like or don't like. Kinksters not only recognize that everyone has hard no's and limits, they relish in sharing and understanding them. After all, consent is so important to kink, that the idea of just jumping into a scene without discussing what each party is okay with first is ANATHEMA to how kink works. This dude either has never done anything kinky, does not care about consent, or both.

This is a yellow flag not just because IQ is bullshit garbage science, but that it is empty flattery. He is trying to make me feel smart so that I agree to meet him in hopes of getting more of that sweet, sweet validation. He does not actually mean this. He thinks I am an idiot and is counting on me being stupid enough to fall for the bait. This is the kind of flattery men love to give out: the kind that not only do they not mean, but they actually think the opposite of. They love the thrill of tricking you and being able to feel superior for getting you to fall for something. (And this isn't even touching on the fact that intelligence is an insignificant metric for measuring how kind and wonderful a person is but that's a rant for a different post.

9. 2 because as I have just demonstrated, intelligence isn't the end all be all and I can't count! Anyways, this is my second response, and at this point I know for sure I have a liar on my line, so I'm going to play with him a little bit by asking him obvious questions that will make him panic and bullshit harder. If you want to tell if someone has ANY knowledge of BDSM, this is such a soft ball question that so many people fuck up: what are some scenes you've enjoyed? A person who has never participated in BDSM will have no idea how scenes actually work. Their only frame of reference is porn, which in case you are unaware, bears very little resemblance to how BDSM works in the real world. Porn cuts out the amount of set up, as well as the level of skill some performers have to practice to achieve. The average fuckboy thinks that a bound gangbang is a normal Wednesday for this fantasy life they want to live, and they have 0 idea how to achieve that. Meanwhile, most kinksters, even ones that live for bound gangbangs, realize that coordinating that many people's schedules and getting a space and negotiating consent and having the hard points for the rope ties and having someone skilled in shibari tie up the bottom is a lot of work. Most of our scenes are smaller in scale, but still intimate and fun. Maybe I'm gonna line soda cans up on my girlfriends' dumptruck butt and flog them off and we're both going to laugh so hard we cry. That's a scene I would believe could exist, because it has enough quirky, concrete detail that actual kinksters get up to, and is the sort of silly intimacy that makes kink fun for people. But this fuckboy wants to impress me, so we'll see the lie he actually comes up with soon.

10. Another way to easily tell if someone has ANY idea what they are talking about is to ask how their kink negotiations work. They rarely show this in porn- the negotiations take place off camera, because they are considered "too boring." But for someone into kink, this is where the real action happens. Every good scene starts with all parties sitting down and expressing desires. If someone asked me this, I would probably tell them how the first time I play with a new partner, I like to do a calibration phase where I do something very gently, ask them to rate it, do it slightly harder, ask them to rate it again, until we reach the limit of what they are comfortable with for that scene. By starting low and going slow, I avoid doing too much for my subs, and it helps build trust with them that I will not disrespect their comfort levels. My kink negotiations usually include hands on time with ongoing, enthusiastic consent, in order to get familiar with a new partner's preferences. Other people have more formal contracts to go over, with things like each partner writing down what they agree to or what is off limits. Shit, I've seen people who do needle play who have a diagram of the human body and ask their subs to circle areas they are comfortable having needles. There are several ways to handle kink negotiations, but they should all have the end goal of communicating what sort of play the sub is okay with, and maximizing safety while minimizing risk. The average liar will have no idea how to respond to this, and will do something half-assed. My guy didn't even bother to address it.

10.2 Why did I bother numbering these if I can't count? Anyways, he responds to my inquiry about his hobbies with more vagaries. He doesn't want to give me specifics because he doesn't see me as a person worth engaging with. Do you care if your fleshlight has an opinion on video games? That's what I am to him. There's also that trademark pickup artist attempt to portray himself as a "high value male." Yuck.

11. Huge red flag here: he doesn't know what the term "scene" means in the BDSM sense. He thinks I'm talking about filming?? Like, this is such a base level term I'm honestly surprised he failed this, but here we are. For those that don't know (because not knowing or having experience is okay and something you shouldn't be ashamed of- it's trying to deceive people about your experience that is dangerous!) a "scene" in BDSM means when people engage in negotiated kink. His rephrasing as an "elaborate scenario" is closer to the meaning than his assumption that it is about filming. Anyways, one of the reasons we call it a "scene" is because things agreed to in one scene are for that scene only, and after the scene ends, consent for those activities stops, and needs to be re-negotiated to be done again. For example, if you do an impact scene, then the scene ends, the top doesn't have permission to whack you the next day. You gave consent to be hit for that scene, and that scene only. It's an important building block to consent, and something a lot of outsiders misunderstand. Look, it's really just LARPing, you guys. You wouldn't run up to a LARP partner at the grocery store and whack them with their staff, because you are not in the game right now. Same goes for BDSM and consent negotiations.

12. (safe) "rape roleplay" scenario. The specific term for that is consensual non-consent, or CNC, and the fact that you don't know the terminology means you probably have no idea what you are talking about. Also, there is again a vague statement with no detail to back it up. Exactly how was the roleplay safe? Safety doesn't happen by accident. Tell me how you made it safe. Did you have a safeword? A drop flag for when the bottom was gagged? How often did you do color check ins? The idea of a safeword has entered the public consciousness, but that is only one small part of a BDSM safety net. Having a safeword for a scene as intense as this isn't enough by itself. A lot of people who fantasize about BDSM but don't actually do it don't realize that being able to break scene for 5 seconds to ask "Color?" and have the bottom check in with a "Green" is just as integral to a good scene as having a safeword. Consent is not just the absence of no- it is ongoing and enthusiastic, which means you also should do the occasional scene pause to check in. How often depends on experience and familiarity, but it is still there.

13. "My boyfriend." I only mention this because his profile said he was straight. He is feigning queerness because he knows I am queer and thinks he can do this to score brownie points with me. I know, I know, identity is complex and who am I to say he's never had a bisexual experience blah blah blah. I'm a trans person with a complicated gender identity, is who I am, and I have cis het men who see me as nothing more than a confused women pull this shit on my all the time. Listen, transmascs out there, stay safe. Cis het men WILL feign support of your identity to fuck you without respecting you. (Also cis het men can be terrible to everyone, but this is just something I've personally experienced that I don't see enough people talking about).

14. Again, this gives NO specifics. Name one position. Name one piece of gear. What the fuck do you mean lighting? I think he's still conflating "scene" with shooting a porno. He is throwing a lot at me trying to impress me without betraying his ignorance. Or at least, hoping not to betray it, but I see right through that shit, and I hope seeing this illustrated helps you see through it, too.

15. "It lasted over 2 hours straight with no breaks." Again, this is a number that SOUNDS impressive. After all, when was the last time you saw a porn that was even 2 hours long? But for those of us that do BDSM, an elaborate scene like this can take a while, because there are so many filler moments where we catch our breath or the action lulls, etc. That's the stuff they cut out in porn, which is also why he thinks no breaks is realistic. And I don't know, maybe it is for him and this supposed boyfriend, but it is definitely a yellow flag that should have you raising an eyebrow.

16. He's mad that I am making him bullshit so much, so he again pressures me to hang out and negs me about being boring. God, I'm so fucking dull, trying to vet someone and make sure I'm safe. Better act fast so he doesn't get bored and leave. Barf. This is a clear violation of my previous boundary about wanting to chat before I get to know someone. Again, I cannot emphasize this enough, as a Dom, I would NEVER pressure someone to rush into something. Jesus fucking Christ! The idea makes me sick. I want to talk to them and know what they are into so I can prep something we will both enjoy. Not to flex, but I love designing weird, fun scenes, and this is not how you do it. Also, please note that he has not asked me a SINGLE question about myself, or even what sort of kink I am looking for. I am not a person worth getting to know. He's not interested in doing kink with me. He wants to show up and pressure me into vanilla sex, which as an acespec kinkster, is a hard no for me. Please do not give in to this sort of pressure! I promise, no matter how badly you want to find a play partner, this sort of person will not play with you safely or even in a way that is fun.

17. Okay, context here off screen: as much as it KILLED me, I couldn't meet with him that night, because I was busy doing some intense tabletop with some trans friends. I told you that BDSM is basically LARP in a different hat, so you're not gonna be surprised that I'm also into nerdy tabletop. Anyways, this message didn't make the screenshots, but that's the context of what I told him offscreen.

18. He not only assumes that when I say I'm hanging out with some queer friends tonight that it is an orgy, he also assumes he is invited. It is important to illustrate that this sort of person does not care about your boundaries. He also takes it for granted that the queer people would be dying for his dick. (My guy. Why would we want your dick when there was perfectly good girlcock already there?)

19. Okay, this is a pet peeve of mine. 8 inch dick is actually very rare, like less than 10% of the penis-having population will have one. And yet every guy is MAGICALLY 8 inches. This bothers me not because I care about the size of a dick- you can have fun with any size- but because good sex is about good communication, and lying is NOT good communication. Again, the goal is to get in the door, and then if the penis is underwhelming, he's already there and can whine and sadsack and wear me down. This is yellow because hey, maybe he really DOES have that big of a dick, but it still doesn't matter. I never once indicated that I would be interested in touching or stimulating his penis, and still he has to bring it up.

At this point, the tabletop was getting intense, so I decided to stop baiting him and blow my cover so I could shift focus to the game. I sent him my response, then didn't check my phone again until this morning, at which point he'd left me this absolute GEM.

Okay, so obviously I hope none of you ever get in this deep with one of these scumbags, but now we've gone into some distressing patterns of abuse that I still want to point out as unacceptable and explain why.

20. He flips from building me up to tearing me down and promoting himself as better. Like my guy, I recognize as a human you have intrinsic value and deserve a right to live, but you don't recognize that same humanity in me. Do not let people like this make you feel any sort of way. They do not see the humanity in you, so you can safely disregard their opinion.

21. This is classic DARVO. For those that don't know DARVO is an abuse and control tactic that stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. He denies any wrong doing, attacks me with some pithy insults (I'm not schizophrenic, but being schizophrenic isn't an insult, and the fact that he thinks it is speaks volumes), and then accuses ME of doing exactly what he is doing. Listen, if you are a kind human being, chances are when someone levels you with an accusation of causing harm, you're going to do some self-reflection and soul searching because you don't want to hurt people. Abusers prey on this. They make you feel guilty for calling them out so that you are afraid to do so. If you are worried about hurting THEIR feelings, you will take the high road, even if it means being silent when they hurt you. Do not do this. Please. For me. Don't let people abuse you. You deserve to be happy and safe, and people like this have NO right to abuse you.

Also I really want to clarify: there is nothing to be ashamed of about not having experience! Everyone starts somewhere! The reason I rail on this guy for not knowing what he is talking about is that it is DANGEROUS to present yourself as experienced when you aren't, especially when kink is involved. People can get seriously hurt if they attempt kink without the proper knowledge or instruction, and I don't want anyone to be the guinea pig of men that aren't big enough to admit they are beginners. Rope play can cut off circulation and do nerve damage, impact play can cause serious spinal injuries if done improperly, needle play could lead to needles breaking off under, the skin, etc. Educating yourself about how to properly engage in a kink and reduce risk is so important, and so is vetting your potential play partners.

So I hope this was at all educational, and that maybe after breaking down these tactics step by step, you are better able to spot red flags, as well as having some tools to draw the truth out. If you found this guide helpful, consider reblogging so that someone else can find it helpful, too!