#idk I'm just sad about it
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have to take an exam. want to listen to music. not allowed to listen to music during exams. i don't want a microchip or anything but is the telepathic ability to transmit music into my brain too much to ask
#school#exam#final exams#music#college#university#microchip#telepathy#science fiction#well I guess anyway.#idk i'm just sad about it#m@gical cure! love shot will NOT give me information that will help me on this exam >:^(#let me listen to it........#i just want it to go into my brain so i can think
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what if I actually had the mental health points to tidy and rearrange my room tomorrow
#my diary#it's been over 3 months and I still have stuff I haven't unpacked lol#honestly just looking at the room makes me sad cuz. well it's small#I don't really have room for like. a desk and a chair.#but donating my tv to my sister DID free up my bedside table/tray which is a HUGE boon#I might be able to jerry rig a nice little in-bed office space#which will be nice for job interview video calls cuz the basement setup is distracting and ugly and unfixable lol#it's the thing I keep getting dinged on in Get A Job School#my clothes aren't nice and my background is messy#surprise! the two things you need money to change are the two things I'm struggling with the most#anyway it's really hard to rearrange what little furniture I have cuz there's no space to do that#and it doesn't help that *I* take up a lot of space#idk I'm just sad about it#but there's not much I can do about it#the alternative is living in my car LMAO
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I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.
The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.
#text#aspec#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#I'm not saying that bringing up the fact that aspecs can still interact in certain ways to be Bad or Wrong btw#I'm not saying we shouldn't talk about how some aspecs have sex or some have partnerships or whatever#but more just that the only response to people complaining about certain issues shouldn't only be “Oh but you can do x”#someone who is mourning the fact they dont fit into amatonormativity shouldn't be told “oh but you can fit into amatonormativity”#Like idk maybe there should be a discussion about how many people use favorability and partnering to avoid properly healing?#maybe there should be a discussion about how often people only accept aspec identities based on how closely they fit amatonormativity?#maybe there is a discussion about how other aspecs play into that and never actually leave their “sad to be aspec” phase#the fact so many can only “accept” their aspec identity when they are told that they can still partake in amatonormativity#like idk i feel like discussions can be had here and i think these sorts of discussions need to be had#especially if we ever want to be on the same page when it comes to dismantling amatonormativity
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quite the poet, quite the inspo
#its a two parter but i'm not sure if i want to upload both bc the first one goes miles better and it was initially a standalone#bc twt format that builds the humor up lol but its still cute anyway so i'm putting both up#it's really sweet and sad Xiao hasn't much of an outlet to let things go and expressing thoughts than his coping mechanisms#the self destruction he's not aware about as it's veiled by reason of duty#so it's good that he's encouraged to use poetry as one of it#expression portrayed through words tailored in vagueness but also direct symbolism of something... just to encapsulate that meaning idk idk#qiiarts#xiao#lumine#traveler#paimon#zhongli#venti#hu tao#chongyun#xingqiu#diona#mika#noelle#genshin impact
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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I am not who I was
Alt Version:
It's been a while since I drew Chris prior to Decoded... Also this rendering is ass, I am not good at shaDING ASJDAKDS
#wild kratts#littlecrittereli#chris kratt#wk reprogrammed au#reprogrammed au#wild kratts fanart#wild kratts au#ah yes the good ol days when there was just some weird lion guy and mind control to worry about#I'm thinking about writing some short one shots about the 3 month timeskip at the end of reprogrammed but idk#I NEED TO FINISH DECODEWD FIRST IM PROCRASTINATING CAUSE I DONT WANT IT TO END IM GONNA BE SO SAD
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weird little guy
#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#joffrey baratheon#my art#idk I just wanted 2 draw baby joffrey being weird and offputting. likely place for him to be#when you're so mad at your dad you dissect his fursona#I <3 giving asoiaf characters cute little plushies of their house sigils idc if it's anachronistic#little baby joffrey makes me sad to think about he's my eraserhead baby...I could be a good mother...I could still save him :(#ok maybe not but I could definitely be a better father than robert I'd give him litte pats on the head and say 'I'm proud of you sport'#I could not save him but I could love him </3
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I understand Garp, I truly do. But personally if my grandson were about to be executed just for existing after years of asking himself if he deserves to live, idk, I think I would've gone on a fucking rampage and had killed everybody
#i understand garp but i understand garp haters#and then luffy blamed himself for what happened like no baby the one who should've protected you didn't#don't come at me saying he was too deep in the marines and he was being cautious and responsible#'he literally told them to hold him back or else he'd kill everyone' i know i watched it#i'm just saying that i would've liked it if he had tried to kill somebody idk#no hate to garp but also yes hate to garp it depends on the day and how sad i am about ace at the time#one piece#monkey d. garp#portgas d. ace
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After Angband, Maedhros had a complicated relationship with his hair for a long while. The thing he once used to cherish and carry with pride, inherited from the mother he had left behind, was now tainted with memories of unwanted attention and derogatory touch.
After his rescue, it had to be cut short for the sake of his recovery, and he could never quite figure out whether he was more hurt or relieved by the act. It was Fingon, during those times filled with anxiety and doubt and shame, who helped him learn to accept his own appearance again– from the stump of his right arm and the scars littered across his freckled body to the locks of copper hair, ever so slowly regrowing to their former glory.
And little by little, the lingering memories of malevolent hands harshly yanking at his scalp were replaced by the feeling of tender hands carefully braiding familiar golden ribbons into his hair, once again beloved.
#so basically#they are in love and i love them very much#just don't think about how during the peaceful days of valinor they used to spend days just sitting around and braiding each other's hair#and after his rescue maedhros could never do that again#or maybe curufin–#after seeing his brother moping around all day sad because he could no longer braid his bf's hair#–engineered his a prosthetic hand to help him do just that#who knows not me#fun fact i spent all day yesterday drawing this-- no literally i didn't do anything else please send help#the silmarillion#silmarillion#maedhros#nelyafinwe#maitimo#russandol#fingon#findekano#russingon#why do they have to have so many names my god#maedhros x fingon#fingon x maedhros#silmarillion fanart#russingon fanart#maedhros fanart#fingon fanart#idk what to tag here i'm gonna be honest#art#my art
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Fascinating how Polites, the character who is the personification of Odysseus' optimism and is only in 5 songs, is more grieved and appreciated than Eurylochus, a character who is his own person and is in 11 songs.
#I'm being a hater but meh :/ it's just kind of baffling to me. Don't get me wrong. Polites plays his purpose for the musical#and it is neat how Jay took one line from him in the Odyssey and got silly with it and basically created his own character.#but like... All we know about Polites is that he's nice... that's literally it. He's Odysseus' optimism personified. which is why he died.#And it's not as though it isn't sad that he died. It's just that we got to know Eurylochus longer and truly get to know him more#is it because with how little people know about Polites other than “uwu sweetiepie” people like that so they can headcanon more?#is it because Eurylochus is “too complex” and therefore “not likable”??#idk. I'm gonna be burned at the stake for this I know it. but I don't understand it.#like during “Love in Paradise” it wasn't “Open Arms” that made me sad. It was “How much longer...” and “Waiting...” that made me sad#I mean I'm an “UwU sweetiepie” too (not right now though clearly lol) so maybe I'm “meh” about him because he's just “me”?#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#epic the musical#polites#eurylochus#hm. maybe I shouldn't tag this but I'm actually really kind of curious as to why people cling to him so much?
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Revisiting an artist account and realizing they have deleted at least half of their art.
Sadness
#lyna rambles#I wish people were less insecure about their art#or idk maybe they deleted it because they don't feel proud of those drawings anymore or just dont like them anymore#but it's still so sad when I'm going through an artist gallery and some of the art is not there and I'm just like 'oh... :('
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I personally think it's Lucius because it would be ironic that he tried to stab his own father but oh well...(Also Lucius means 'light' so that's another factor)
I'm so unwell about them someone Help me please
Ignore my ranting in the tags
#trials of apollo#lester papadopoulos#pjo hoo toa#lucius pjo#is that even a tag#idk I guess#toa#I'm pretty sure it's already confirmed that Cassius is a child of Zeus tho?#like he's described as looking like Jason many times#soooo#Gods I think about them everyday#Also Marcus? I'm pretty sure he was described as looking like If Nico was raised by jackals#which might suggest that he was a Hades kid#its sad that he was murdered tho#Dont know about Aemilia tho#I hc her as a child of Athena#or an ex hunter of Artemis that was taken in by Nero#its probably just me tho#percy jackson#pjo#meg mccaffrey#The imperial household#how is that not a tag#Wait is Marcus even a demigod#Nevermind
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i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.
#ramble#i think knowing that he was awful and that it wasn't my fault should make all the sad go away actually#i'm in such a weird fragile state right now that last night i looked at my flip flops that are still covered in mud#and i just started crying bc last weekend he carried me over the mud so they wouldn't get ruined. KNOWING he was going to do this to me#sorry i try really hard not to overshare but i don't want to keep bothering anyone in my actual life about this and idk what to do#when it happened it didn't hurt this badly and i just assumed i would be fine#idk i think it's just sunk in how much of my future i don't have anymore and that's like#a bit scary#because i was Just calming down and thinking maybe i would be ok in the long term and now it's all gone#i'm in that weird place between desperately wanting him back and plotting where to bury the body parts#i'm also mad bc i wish he'd left me before the festival. there were SO many gorgeous metalhead trans girls that i could've kissed
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Even when you have a hard day just remember, Bucktommy "has anyone ever told you you're a vision in a cone?" will always be there. Tommy Kinard looked at his adorable boyfriend with a silly party hat on and thought Evan, you're beautiful, you're stunning, you're ravishing, you're a sight for sore eyes. I could never get tired of looking at you. I cherish you. There's nowhere I'd rather be than behind this couch at your side. And he was so real for that.
#needed to remind myself of this and infuse some joy into this wretched anniversary#at least it's almost over and tomorrow will be easier but man ever since 2018 my bday has inspired nothing so much as the belief that#Michael from The Good Place was right when he said birth is a curse and existence is prison like I'm always so depressed on this day#it's hard to look on the bright side when all I can think of is losing my boy 🥹 family tries to make me celebrate but I just want to mourn#what's that quote about grief being love persevering. I love you so much little mister I still think of you every day#it's just hard on this particular day because I still remember it all so clearly and it haunts me#a sweet Bucktommy crumb can be a nice distraction for a time though. Just like Unknown(nth) was when Hozier dropped it out of nowhere in '22#my kitty was called Oliver too not after OS but it is a nice connection that his work can cheer me a bit#ough. idk if anyone will see these tags but just in case I'll tag#pet death#animal death#to hopefully filter it out for anyone sorry to be all sad on my Bucktommy post I couldn't help it thinking of my boy all day needed to vent#and oh this needs actual tags#Bucktommy#911 spoilers#I hope I did those warning tags right idk if I should say “cw” or “tw” with them
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Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?
Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.
Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?
Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.
Cucurucho: Ha ha ha
Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]
Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.
Cucurucho: Maybe.
Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!
Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]
Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!
[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]
#Jaiden Animations#Roier#Cucurucho#QSMP#Jaiden#Animations Family#There is. So much I could say about these three#and so much I could say about their relationship / interactions with Cucurucho and Osito Bimbo#Cards on the table... I really would have loved it if Cucurucho / Osito genuinely cared about Jaiden#I mean I know they DID care about her to some extent that much is clear#But they / the Federation were also ABSOLUTELY using her. I'm not arguing that they weren't#But how could anyone not be charmed by Jaiden? The boba the tea parties the head pats–#The empathy and kindness and everything that made q!Jaiden who she was–#Cucurucho and Osito were tools of the Federation but I do want to believe they cared about Jaiden. Albeit in their own fricked up way#I dunno. I know this sounds like massive copium probably but I watched all of her and Roier's streams interacting with them#and I personally think that conflict and duality makes for a more interesting story#But that's just me and my own personal biases. I dunno how to properly put it into words but I am cradling them all close to my heart#I loved Cucurucho / Osito and I thought they were interesting and I'm SO SAD we'll never know what Jaiden did for them in the past#Anyways. For anyone who's read this far into my rant– you know how Cucurucho saved the Eggs and Jaiden said she died in Purgatory?#I like imagining that she survived the bomb and wound up finding the Eggs in the aftermath#and she helped them survive until Cucurucho found them#I imagine that Jaiden was the reason they were able to escape from the Island / The Watcher / ElQuackity#She stayed behind to slow down their pursuers. And Cucurucho rescuing all the Eggs fulfilled his agreement with Jaiden—#A promise to protect the Eggs#Like I said a lot of this is copium but that's what I like imagining#TLDR: Cucurucho / Osito did care about her in a weird way but that doesn't mean they weren't manipulating her#May 31 2023#Idk man I got a lot of emotions about q!Jaiden#Roier too but I feel like I've done way more analysis posts about him and Cucurucho. Jaiden needs time in the spotlight#Anyways there's my monthly tag rant
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important distinction.
Testing a few different things with this one
#I spent straight up 5 hours testing out and trying to use different animation programs and you know what#they all suck all the fun out of it for me. frame by fram 4 ever yaaa#anyways I'm thinking about trying to make like an animated short or something. might get some voice actors and everything#extremely excited thinking about it#however I fucked up super hard and I accidentally overwrote my original file with my reduced size version. so#I only have this like 500px version of this now#so if I were to use this clip I'd have to redo it anyways#but I think I wouldnt? idk. maybe I would. but either way I was just doing this as a test I dont think I'd want the same composition anyway#this is what I am telling myself so I dont get sad losing that file WHWLJGLJGLKSJG I am extremely sad about it but. its okay.#ok anyways#animated gif#2d animation#my art#digital art#ocs#my ocs#time and time again#animated#animation#gif#rough animation#adam#ttawebcomic
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