#idk I’m not a psychologist or something

[exquisink]

love on the brain, geto/reader, part 2/?

cw. geto coming onto you a lot, mentions of harassment, slight reader/nanami that might not go anywhere, idk what this even really is if i’m honest.

wc. 5.5K

previous / next

He’s staring you down.

You’re staring him down back. You have other plans. You have to meet with Nanami in a few hours… and you’re scared to turn your back on the man before you lest he pull a knife out on you or some kind of worse way to threaten you with violence. You don’t think he’s above something like that, given everything.

On one hand, you know better than to test Geto’s patience. It’s true that he is a patient man, almost to a fault, but he has drawn the line with you when you wanted to cut things off cold turkey. And can he blame you!? You don’t remember being an active participant, more like a pliant one… and he likes his women pliant, that much you are confident in terms of reading anything concerning Geto’s psyche and you’re not in that field. You probably don’t need to be a leading psychologist or expert on the human condition in order to conclude that not only is he underdeveloped when it comes to proper adult communication, he’s underdeveloped… as a whole. It’s no wonder he’s drawn to like-minded individuals like Satoru Gojo, because he probably makes up the majority of his brain cells and that’s probably being too generous.

“I don’t know what you think you plan to accomplish, but nothing you do is going to work. It’s best to just drop it now, Geto.”

”First of all, stop calling me Geto. You don’t get to call me that.”

You clench your fists at your sides, stifling a groan.

”Then what the hell would you rather me call you? The POS that actively ruins my life and self-esteem?”

”I was hoping for the opposite effect!” Geto shouts, that desperation still evident in his tone that’s kind of a good look on him if you’re completely honest. It’s right where he deserves to be given everything that’s transpired in the last few months between you two.

“And once again, we clearly see how that is going for you! God, are you sure you have a brain in there?” You smack your forehead, dragging your hand down your face and lingering on your lower lip for a few moments. You have half a mind to knock on his skull like a door but you have a feeling all that is going to do is confirm your suspicions of there being no one home.

“Please,” he begs, stepping forward and gripping your elbows, making you freeze in place. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

”Don’t dismiss my feelings as ridiculous—they’re perfectly valid,” you retort as you brush him off, and he easily lets you go this time but frowns as he watches you wipe off any residual energy from him. “Just leave me the fuck alone, Geto. As of today, well, as of pretty much ever, you’re dead to me. I just have to remind you of where your place is in my life again.”

With that, you storm off, and you won’t be surprised if you left behind a trail of steam behind because he gets under your skin in ways no one else seems to be able to at all. You hope you’re going to have a clearer head later that evening because you’re gong to need it if you want to pass that exam with flying colors. You’re not known to slip up that easily in performance, even when you have had the man you hated the most holding something over you for the past few months. Now that’s over, and you have such a heavy weight lifted off of your shoulders that the stroll to the library’s fifth floor feels like a breeze. You anticipate getting him alone and maybe officially asking him out. You hope you’re not in over your head though because honestly? Kento Nanami is every woman’s dream man and you have not a single doubt in your mind that he has an endless line of other perfectly capable women to court. 

That’s not going to stop you from doing your best, though. You’re no better than other girls, alright? You don’t claim to be either! You have your weaknesses.  And that’s sexy gentlemen like Nanami. You spot him in a secluded corner of the fifth floor, and this is the floor that’s usually quieter because everyone’s more focused on their agenas, and you take a minute to fluff your hair and fix yourself up before approaching him with your hands clasped behind your back and your messenger bag beginning to slip down to your right elbow.

”Is it just us tonight?” you ask as you make your presence known, and Nanami glances up from the textbook he’d been scanning the areas he’d highlighted over again. He acknowledges you with the faintest hint of a smile that makes your knees want to buckle then and.there. It’s not fair that someone can carry so much power in such a normal gesture.

”Why? Would you feel more comfortable if we got more people to join us?”

You shake your head. “No, this is good. So how far along are you in the material?”

”I”m mostly reviewing right now,” he answers as he flips to the next page which has a lot of scarcely highlighted parts. He must know the material for this class all too well. “Is there anything you’re struggling to understand?”

”So much,” you admit as you sit down next to him, pulling out your textbook from the messenger bag and your smart tablet. “Can you walk me through this segment?”

You point to a few passages in the book. Which you have read over and over and over and you think you understand (scratch that, you know you understand, but you just want an excuse to let Nanami take the wheel and where’s the harm in letting a sexy man like him take charge?). You look at him with those beady eyes of yours and Nanami lets out a little scoff. 

“Alright, Miss. Let’s go back to the basics with this concept…”

He’s able to go into detail, and breezes through the bare bones of the concept because he treats you like you’re knowledgeable and not at all hapless or helpless unlike a certain somebody that crosses your mind every time you have to make a comparison. Geto is not the man you want in your life; he never has been, and yet he is going so far to make a point to snag you into his little web. 

You refuse to give him that satisfaction. You are moving up in your world, and he can keep going downhill in his—and you know it’s going to get worse because you’re pretty sure you’re the reason he’s been a bit more annoying than usual and now he’s going to be all sulky and quiet and it’s definitely going to be a refreshing change of pace.

It’s also refreshing to know that you’re phone is going to be drier than the Sahara desert since he’s not going to be spamming you anymore. Finally, some long awaited peace and you can actually get what you want this time.

”Did you get all that?”

You nod, glad the dull lighting of the library is hiding your blushing well as you scribble down a lot of the extra points he’s given you about certain topics that didn’t even cross your mind. 

“I think so. Have you ever thought of actually becoming a professor? Because I think you explain concepts better than any I ever had. I know i’d definitely be paying attention to every word you say,” you drawl as you playfully squeeze his bicep, admiring how firm the muscles feel against your palm before quickly retracting your hand and averting your gaze from his face back to your messy notes. You have no idea how you’re going to interpret your chicken scratch later.

Suddenly you feel Nanami’s gaze shift from you furiously rewriting some of your illegible notes to some other point in the room and you don’t realize that’s a bad thing until you glance through your eyelashes to catch the faintest hint of a figure you hoped you didn’t see too soon outside of the necessary times, like during a lecture. And even then, you have planned on opting to watch them all online so as to strategically avoid him.

”Seems he’s here for his own business,” Nanami mutters as he shields you a bit with his body, waiting for Geto to leave the area you’re in; he disappears somewhere into one of the computer labs. You breathe out in relief. 

“We both made it pretty clear that I don’t want him near me,” you sigh, before meeting Nanami’s eyes. “Thank you for that earlier. You don’t need to concern yourself over me that much. I’m glad you care as much as you do about me, though.”

”Of course,” he replies, his face softening, “I’m just not terribly keen on that entire group. Haibara hangs around them a lot, and I can’t for the life of me understand his infatuation with Geto. He has some kind of weird, fanboy crush on him.”

”Oh please, talk him out of that! Geto is not someone you want to learn from,” you complain, “Haibara is way too sweet to become a walking replica of that piece of shit.”

”You and I agree on that,” he laughs, as he glances at his pocket watch. “I should probably head back to the dorms. Speaking of Haibara, he’s been wanting to try one of the new restaurants that opened near campus.”

”Oh,” you try to hide the disappointment in your tone but unfortunately you have your own life outside of trying to court Nanami too. “So then we can regroup later?”

”You can count on it, Miss. Do you want me to escort you out of here so you don’t have to run into Geto, or can you handle it?”

”I don’t want to make you feel obligated to watch over me,” you answer, “But that is sweet of you to offer. I think I’ll be fine. I can’t let him run my life forever, I guess. That’s the whole reason I cut things off.”

”Atta girl,” he praises before gathering his things and leaving you to your devices.

Which is another mistake you make, because in strolls Geto, eyeballing you with a strange gleam in his eyes. You opt to the classic if you ignore it it will go away route, working on revising your notes to review later for that damn exam. But you still feel his eyes trained on you like you’re an entertaining episode of a soap opera or a particularly gripping documentary on how to repel a lady in less than a few nanoseconds. You feel a flash of irritation as your eyes roll up to find him still glued in his spot, a couple of books stacked in his hands and you make a face at him. Mouthing at him to fuck right off because you have shit to do that is completely unrelated to the fact that he unfortunately coexists on this goddamn Earth with you.

He doesn’t take the hint as per fucking usual and approaches your area, settling his stack of books on a nearby table and stuffing his hands into his pockets. As if trying to prove something maybe? Like he’s not armed and he’s actually going to respect your personal space never mind the fact that he’s just beseeched every other boundary you have enforced on him so far.

”Get the fuck out of here,” you sneer at him, “Haven’t you caused enough trouble?”

”I just want to understand what the hell has gotten into you.”

“Oh, so you still think I’m the one overreacting? Then we are going to keep going in circles. I’m telling you one more time to get away from me or I’ll just go somewhere else instead.”

Geto’s expression falters at that. You can’t help but latch onto his reactions—you actually kind of thrive off of the fact that you get him going in ways other people don’t appear to.

”You can’t just avoid going to the same places as me!”

You inhale sharply through your nose and count backwards from 10 before you go and really give him what for, gathering your items and slinging your messenger bag over your shoulder. 

“Watch me,” you huff as you brush past him, and he doesn’t make an effort to chase you down (smart move because you have Nanami as an emergency dial now) and a plethora of curses and obscenities and profanities are swirling around in your head because what the hell happened to that so called peace and tranquility once you let this guy loose? Don’t men ever know when to take no for an answer? Well real men definitely, men who are the true epitome of masculinity but Geto does not fit that description. Underdeveloped, remember?

Under. Developed. Most people who are complete assholes are, right? For what other reason are they mean? Because those kinds of people are insecure about the fact that they lack the intelligence to even get by in life.

So maybe you should give him the same grace you would a newborn baby.

Eh… upon further evaluation, that’s actually an insult to newborns. You’re retracting that statement. You try to remain aware of your surroundings as you tread back to your dorm. Praying that you won’t get mugged or worse because this particular area seems less populated with students… most of them are intelligent enough to walk with someone a la that old buddy system but you just told your buddy system to focus on his own schedule like the damn imbecile you are.

Something you have in common with Geto, you suppose, since your mind still wanders back to that blank expression he wears every time he so much as glances in your direction and finds you expending all of your attention on winning Kento Nanami over. No one’s a fool; he knows who the other person is now and he may find a way to hold that against you. But jokes on him because unlike someone like Geto, you’re not afraid of facing your feelings. 

So he can spill the beans if he wants, it won’t make a difference. Hell, even if Nanami rejects your advances, rejection is nothing more than redirection and you can move on with your damn life because that’s not the only thing going for you.

There’s nothing Geto can do to intimidate you into doing whatever he wants. Looking back, you don’t even understand why you let him do all of those things… you can admit that he’s a good lay but there’s nothing beyond it that you can think of off the top of your head. Maybe you just lack a backbone and you’re working on strengthening that. You ride the elevator to your floor of the dorm and as you step inside, you find that your roommate isn’t there and is probably off canoodling with her own boyfriend. You two aren’t particularly close so you honestly don’t care; you’re just glad you have the room to yourself.

But you hate that your mind keeps drifting to that son of a bitch. You’re just trying to drown everything else about the world right now to focus on studying until eventually you can feel your vision begin to blur a bit and it’s time for bed. You finally decide to let yourself rest. Everything else is tomorrow’s problem. Geto is not your problem anymore but he keeps finding a way to weasel himself back into your world. He’s not even supposed to be a part of it.

That’s your fault. That is all your fault and you take accountability for that, and you hope to lead by example so Geto can learn a thing or two if he is capable of doing as such. You want to have some hope in him. (Not that you even owe him that.)

Your morning starts slower today since you only have one three hour lecture in the evening, so you’re figuring you might spend the majority of your day catching up on looking after yourself. You have to admit, the dry heat is making you feel dirty and gross, and you wish you could be a little more clean but the showers never seem to give you that effect. Probably because you understand what kind of activity students get up to in those damn showers because they don’t understand basic human decency. You idly wonder if you should live off campus next year. You can at least say you didn’t deny yourself the average university experience, living on campus and whatnot, but you’re not sure how much more of this lifestyle you can take. You share a restroom with a whole floor of other women. It’s not always zen.

Your roommate is shuffling through her side of the room, tossing on a pair of lounge clothes since there’s no need to make university a fashion show—that’s reserved for nights out and dates with her boyfriend. You have to admit you do envy her a bit. She seems so secure in her skin. She has a gorgeous, blemish free complexion and long, flowy brunette hair that stops at her mid-back. She’s got blonde highlight streaks that complement her overall. She’s from the States, but she knows Japanese way too scarily well. But her southern accent does seem to pop out every now and then even when speaking to you and you can’t help but gush at how adorable her drawl sounds. 

if you recall. she is from somewhere in Georgia.

“So what became of that guy who would always hang around you?” your roommate asks you the next morning as she preps for her morning class. “That real sexy guy with the ugly manbun.”

You fight back a snort at that, hiding your grin behind your hands. “He’d be so offended if you said that to him. Everyone calls him crazy bangs too. Um, I’m not exactly friends with him. Why do you ask?”

”He tried to come over yesterday looking for you,” she explains with a shrug. “I figured it wasn’t any of my business.”

Good call,  you think to yourself. 

Even if you two aren’t close, she understands ‘girl code.’

”Eh, well, it’s probably nothing important,” you reply, “I’m not that keen on the guy myself.”

”For real? Because it seems like he’s all over you,” she observes, placing her clenched fists on her hips like she’s lowkey judging you for letting someone like him roam free. You can’t even begin to fathom why she might think that, but she is just like any other girl, easily drawn to Geto’s charm and angelic features. You can’t deny he’s handsome but that doesn’t take away everything else about his extremely flawed personality. “He was pretty persistent about trying to catch up with you. I knew you were in the library but I didn't tell him that.”

”I appreciate that.”

”Of course,” she replies, “Besides, it’s like I said, it’s not my business to meddle into affairs that aren’t mine but you can’t blame me for being a little curious.”

”Of course not,” you chuckle, twirling a stray strand of hair in front of your face. “He’s just not worth your time or energy, trust me.”

”I don’t know. I’d love a piece of that ass,” she muses, “But alas I am already taken by a wonderful man who better plan to propose by the time I graduate.”

You playfully groan while rolling your eyes.

”Oh, please. Spare me the theatrics.”

”Come on, can’t you let a girl gush about her man?”

”Maybe not so early in the damn morning,” you deadpan and she laughs.

”Alright, alright, once you get your morning coffee, you should be back to your chipper self! I’ll be off then, did you still want to get lunch together?”

You nod. “Sure!”

And you are once again left to your devices. Twisting around and glancing at the mess on your side of the dorm. Your deep navy duvet is crumped up at the foot of the bed. Your notes are scattered all over the ground and you can’t remember how it got like that. Your messenger bag is wide open and some of your books spill out. And then you find something in there. Something you should have seen earlier but perhaps you have been too caught up in your own world to really dig into it.

A folded note from a light blue scrap paper. Groaning to yourself, you unfold it and scan its contents.

Of fucking course.

‘Meet me tomorrow on the rooftop of the science building… I won’t let you off the hook until we talk things out like adults.

-Geto, S.’

You crumple up the paper and toss it into the wastebasket close to the door. As fucking if. You have made your point already! He is not a part of your world and you never should have allowed him to hover over you like that for as long as you have. You’re at as much fault for this as he is, but at least you’re doing yourself a few favors by heavily ignoring him.

But then you hear a knock on the window and you whip your head around, your jaw dropping.

You stomp over, sliding open the window. “Are you actually insane? How are you doing that? How the hell are you balancing on it like you’re fucking Spiderman?”

”Because I’m just that much of a bad ass,” Geto quips, slipping into your dorm. “Did you get the note?”

”I’m pretty sure you saw me toss it.”

Geto makes a sound. “Seriously? I’m really trying here.”

”…What were you going to do if I wasn’t in my dorm?”

”Climb down? I’m not a wimp.”

”That’s up for debate.”

”Can’t we actually talk about this?”

”There’s nothing left for me to say to you. You blackmailed me because you didn’t want to stop that weird fuckery between us. All you do is treat me like I’m below you but then you try to write it off as you liking me all of this time. This is the real world, not some weird romcom or chickflick. Believe it or not, you have to own up to your own fuckups sometime.”

“There’s no way this is that easy! You’re trying to tell me you didn’t enjoy any of that with me at all?”

”No! Believe it or not I didn’t!” you counter, “None of that was ever sexy and it’s my fault for not coming to my senses sooner!”

Without warning Geto pins you to your bed behind you, and you let out a yelp in surprise. His lips barely feather over yours as he stares deep into your eyes like some kind of feral animal and he’s about to go completely ape on you. But then Geto stops himself for a moment, glancing at the door and shuffling over to place a sock on the handle outside to signal your roommate who just left a while ago. 

“Oh hell no, we’re not doing this!” you shout, marching over to stop him from shutting the door and yanking the sock off of the handle and shoving him out of your room. “Get the fuck over yourself!”

You slam the door on his face. That’s your fault for letting him in, you should have just ignored him like you said you would but unfortunately you have been cursed with empathy and you didn’t want him to hang outside like that like some monkey forever.

You glance at the window again, frowning. How did he even manage that?

You shake your head and try to ignore the constant banging on your door because Geto can’t accept rejection to save his damn life.

”I’m not leaving this floor until we talk.”

”Then I guess you’re staying there for eternity!” you exclaim, huffing as you rest your back against the door. “I have nothing left to tell you!”

“You’re going to have to get out of there sometime,” he grumbles, banging his fists on the door again. “Just open up and talk to me, please?”

You grumble something to yourself and decide what choice do you have at this moment because your roommate is going to come back and probably wonder why you’re keeping him locked out and then once she tries to waltz back in he’s going to find a way to slip back inside and you just don’t want this to be more complicated than it is already. You swing the door open again, extending your arm and gesturing to your room and welcoming him with a hard stare and deep scowl that actually makes him shudder and he places the sock back onto the door handle before you shut the door behind the two of you.

“Well, I’ll give you five minutes, so speak now or whatever.”

”I didn’t mean for things to go the way they did,” Geto starts, striding up to you with that winning smile of his that could make even the most independent of girls buckle down and cave into whatever he says or does. You’re no better in that regard as he cups your cheek, brushing away a few strands of your hair. “And I know i haven’t been the nicest to you for as long as we’ve known each other. I guess I can’t help that I like how reactionary you get to the things I do or say.” 

“That doesn’t sound like you’re guilty of anything you’ve done,” you mutter.

”Oh, believe me, I am completely and utterly guilty,” he murmurs, his face drawing closer to yours and his gaze dips to your lips for a moment before meeting your eyes again. Your breath hitches. “Guilty for being completely whipped for you—why do you think I tried so damn hard to get you all putty in my hands? You think it’s because I hate you? I hope I made it clear to you that it’s utter nonsense.”

”Well, goodie goodie for me, I got your attention when I never wanted it,” you scoff, “Ya think this is going to be enough to make up for literally blackmailing me?”

”I never did anything with that footage and it’s all wiped from all of my devices.”

”So what? It doesn’t change the fact that you held it over my head for this long! How do I know you don’t have something else planned for me if I keep refusing you, hm?”

”Are you sure refusing me is what you want?”

”N—I mean yes! I mean, what the hell do you know about what I want? I know I didn’t want whatever arrangement that was with us before!”

“Then why don’t we change that?” he challenges, cradling your face with both of his hands now as his lips gently brush over yours—not even a kiss because he’s not one of those soft peckers, he’s the kind of kisser who’s smothering, obsessive, all-consuming…in a way that makes you feel like you’re the only thing that matters at all. It’s an addictive high, kissing him, but you have to let that go because you don’t like him like that.

You don’t like him, period… isn’t that right? It’s Nanami you want, right?

Now you’re swimming in confusion but you can’t even stop to compartmentalize when Geto’s mouthing soft kisses all over your jaw like you’re this precious thing to him, and yeah, maybe that’s true, you’re his precious toy and he doesn’t want to lose access to you and it’s not deeper than that. 

You rest your hands on his chest, pushing him off.

”I won’t do this with you, Suguru,” you tell him in a firm tone. “I like to think I have developed some degree of self-respect.”

“I never said you didn’t have that,” he purrs as he constricts you by the waist and presses you into him, until you can feel his half-hard dick through his sweatpants. A protest dies in your thoat as his lips trail along your shoulder. “But I am hoping you let that all go out the window when I’m fucking you dumb on my cock.”

”Suguru, please…” 

“Please what?” he murmurs into your ear before flicking his tongue against it, making you shiver and grip tighter onto his shirt. 

“I know you don’t actually like me, so just stop.”

His grip barely loosens on your waist but he’s scowling deep, like those words cut deeper than you expected it to.

”Didn’t I make it clear to you before that I liked you?”

”No,” you reply as you shake your head. “It doesn’t undo everything you did. You think I still don’t hold it all against you? Not just the blackmailing, but the name-calling, feeling me up in public, snatching my sketchbooks and tearing some of those pages out—!” 

“—I kept them,” he interjects.

”So fucking what? It doesn’t change that you stomped all over my parade any chance you got!” 

“I was an idiot and I was wrong,” he says into your skin, still mouthing at it and he’s too damn persistent to just fling off of you. Just gluing himself to you, because he wants you to suffocate. He wants you to be completely smothered and engulfed by his overwhelming, demanding presence. But you are trying to put your foot down. You’re trying to remember who the fuck you are and who the fuck he is to you and that’s someone you want nothing to do with at all.

”You’re still an idiot and you’re still wrong.”

”You’re right.”

”We agree on something for once, then.”

”Then maybe you can agree with the fact that I can’t help how hard my dick gets just looking at you,” he groans as he hikes one of your legs up and hooks it around his hips, pinning you to against the door as he grinds himself into your crotch. A whine escapes your lips, this isn’t fucking fair, and he knows that and he knows he has several advantages over you that aren’t limited to this. “I can’t help that my heart doesn’t stop racing at the thought of having all of this all for me. At least when I’m a bastard to you, you pay attention to me in a special way. It might not have been the brightest decision at the time, but we were also like 11 years old.”

”Well clearly, neither of us are kids anymore…” you stammer, heat going straight to your groin and you hate how much power he actually has over you that you refuse to acknowledge yourself. 

“You have no idea how that first night was for me,” he goes on, biting on your lip. “I finally had you putty in my hands. You just took it all, maybe you were frustrated over something else and took it out on me, but for me it didn’t matter, because I could finally see you like this.”

”Suguru…” your eyes shimmer, “You’re not selling yourself well here. I’m not into it, I just—hah!” 

His fingers slip into your pants and rub the cotton hiding his prize, and he chuckles upon discovering something you can’t help. 

“Are you sure about that, pretty? I think you know as well as me who you belong to. Can’t get enough of me.”

”Suguru, stop!”

He retracts his hand.

”Just… stop,” you squeak.

”I’m not letting you have the satisfaction of ending this—I meant what I said,” he reminds you, sucking his fingers clean. “Stop denying what you really want.”

”And once again, I ask, what the hell do you know about what I really want?”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me I don’t fuck your brains out every time we do what we do.”

”I never denied that,” you counter, “I’m just telling you this isn’t what I—!”

”—stop feeding me that bullshit. Tell me you haven’t been able to stop thinking about me. I know I’m the only one who can give you what you need because you don’t even know what you really need half the time yourself. You going after Kento? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s only because you want to get back at me.”

”What! Are you insane? I adore Nanami. I wanted…I wanted something to happen between us but then you happened!” 

“Oh? So you’re saying that I’m in your way?”

”Yes, but—Ugh! Not the way you want, you piece of shit!” 

“Oh please, you could have ended things with us ages ago even without the stuff I recorded with us. So what actually stopped you, hm? Maybe it’s because you like the way I make you feel? Or did you know that somewhere deep down in that gorgeous heart of yours, you knew you liked me?”

”I’d sooner shit on my hands and clap before I even remotely like you.”

“Disgusting imagery, but we both know that’s a bold faced lie.”

”Ugh! How the hell are you this insufferable? And don’t you have a few lectures in a few?”

”…Actually yes, so that spares you for now. But don’t think we’re done with this, pretty girl,” he replies while patting your shoulder. “Unblock me so we can talk later. Okay?”

”…Fine, but only because you finally backed off, got it?”

”Eh, we would have fucked anyway,” he quips with a wink. You shudder.

”Piss off.”

part three coming soon.

taglist: @collectionofdolls (ask if you want to be tagged!<3)

[teddy-bear-queen]

More interactions with friends! I’m a little hesitant to tag these as sonic the hedgehog because like.. I’m just trying to keep my friends privacy… and it’s not fanart yk? Anyway, I beat this sucker at Team Sonic Racing and I’ll do it again. I fucking LOVE Team Sonic Racing & Mario Kart… I won 1st place in my family one time as a little 8 year old and I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since /silly

I don’t know how to tag this… aaa

[bodyhorrorsa]

Thinking abt this oc today… thinking abt finally adding her bc she’s been buzzing around in my brain like crazy

[b-blushes]

chill Saturday night u know how it is but the past couple of days I’ve been trying to work out how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking about and I can’t really crystallise it. But one sentiment I have put together is that one thing about getting better and wanting to get better is that part of the process is Realising that things have been/are uhhhhhh. Not Good. And I will be honest that is a challenging thing to force to occur in myself. Connecting with discussing really bad pain in my neck/back/shoulders with drs for over a year and then seeing a specialist who was like ‘well obviously you have chronic spinal pain’ and although it was very obvious to me and I had in fact been talking about it intermittently for a very long time I also had not particularly internalised this until then. There’s some leaps between ‘well I know things are happening and maybe I can even explain those things’ and also really really Knowing those things and I don’t know what the deal with that is or how to explain it. And then a step after that which is like fully feeling it with and in your whole body and feelings I think. But that’s the progress I’ve made so far 👍

[lesbiansanemi]

I have started to accept I am a bit more (re a lot more) psychologically unstable than I thought for a long time and man…. I’m tired of it

[abby420]

it’s honestly pissing me off how much o and otis call themselves (and other people call them) sex therapists in sex education

[thatone-churro]

does anyone else have an adrenaline/panic response that physically keeps them from having an emotional response to something? like you’re forcibly calm during an intense situation? like is that a normal reaction?

like, for context/an explanation: a pretty severe medical emergency literally showed up at my doorstep last friday. while i was obviously a little flustered and a little panicky, i was somehow entirely calm and collected while we tended to her until the EMS arrived. the girls next door that were helping were freaking out and incredibly emotional by the time it was over. my roommate (who witnessed the entire event itself happen) was genuinely hysterical. i was nervous and a bit shaky by the time the paramedics were treating her, but that was the worst i felt. i pretty much got straight to cleaning my dorm once everyone was gone. my friday night seemingly resumed as normal after that.

i didn’t really feel sad or upset. i hardly even felt pity for her (i mean, obviously what happened was a horrible accident but i felt unusually assured that she’d be just fine anyway). the worst i felt was a little scared or nervous. that was it.

i know logically, that’s the perfect reaction you want to have but… it felt weird to see everyone else freaking out and generally feeling strongly about it and feeling virtually nothing regarding the exact same situation. my roommate’s still having meetings with our RA over it. but for me it feels like my life just moved on like nothing new.

is that like. a normal type of reaction to have to emergencies like that? i know i’m already fairly emotionally constipated and all but that still just feels weird to me. it’s not too unusual is it? please tell me i’m just unnecessarily dehumanizing myself over my instincts again and this isn’t like something psychologically wrong with me (or more than what’s already fucked up at least)

idk i’ve just been thinking about it & i was talking w/ my roommate about it again and it just. still doesn’t sit right with me.

[jackleopard]

I have an interview tomorrow and I’m so stressed

[danielnelsen]

grandpa just died :/

[seilon]

in the past I’ve always been more or less eager to talk to a therapist after just getting one but this time for whatever reason I just feel a weird sense of dread

[robinofgothamcity]

“You’re going to be a great experiment, one that I never want to stop working on.”

Character: Jonathan Crane / DC

Authors note: please read my reintroduction post <3 it would mean a lot, especially if you’re an older follower and if you’re a newer follower, that would be just as great because you’ll get a sense the reintroduction to my page! / anwayyy, god I’m such a whore for Jonathan Crane it’s ridiculous. Also, let me know if you’re interested in a second part to this? It seems like it could use one but idk, it really depends on how much you guys would like this part first.

Possible warnings: do want to add a warning for drug mentions and use of drug!

Being the newer doctor down at Arkham felt like you were the new kid that moved into a new school in the middle of the year. It was terrifying, a bit overwhelming considering the patients, and not to mention, your colleagues never spoke to anyone unless it was for work purposes. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was like this because of the environment you were in but even your time when working with prisoners for Arkham wasn’t as stuffy.

The only reason you decided to switch departments was because of the pay raise. You didn’t know that working with such uppity coworkers was going to be for you. You wanted to at lease make a few new friends in the department but you knew that was less than possible considering no one ever chased a conversation like you had hoped they would.

You opened the door, decided now would be the best time to take you lunch. You weren’t expecting any clients for the next hour and you figured you’d get a meal in before your next one arrived.

Just as you were about to close the door, you noticed Dr.Crane approaching you.

“Morning Dr.Crane! How’s your morning!” You asked cheerfully. He stepped inside your office, not responding to your question, “I’m hearing from one of my colleagues over at the forensics department that you’re staying late tonight?”

“Ah, yeah! I’m getting a few more clients soon and I haven’t gotten some spare time to look over their files so I figured it’d be better to just stay a bit late tonight so I can be ready for them next week,” you replied. Jonathan sighed, “do not overwork yourself, it does nothing but cause a stress in your life.”

You found it a bit strange that Jonathan was suddenly caring about your decisions to stay late considering this was one of the first times that Jonathan had ever approached you for something that wasn’t work related. You knew that Jonathan wasn’t one of the most approachable ones based on the fact that most of your colleagues had warned about how strange Jonathan was. They had all mentioned that if it wasn’t for the fact that Jonathan was one of the more tenured workers, Arkham would have fired him by now.

“Oh, okay,” you replied cautiously, “I appreciate the advice?” You responded.

Jonathan didn’t respond as he looked at the files of your newest clients, “I wouldn’t worry too much on these clients. Bipolar disorder, clinical depression, and anxiety patients tend to be one of the more easier clients especially when dealing with the population in Gotham,” he said as he flipped through the files. You gave him a smile, “oh I know, when dealing with Arkham prisoners, my biggest issue was murderers and I don’t know why they kept giving me them considering I made it very clear that I didn’t want to deal with them.”

“Is that why you left and switched to the psychology department?” He asked. You thought for a moment, “not really. I actually got offered a higher paying position in this department. I originally applied to just be a prison psychologist but I figured dealing with the regular population instead of notorious gangsters would cause less stress.”

Jonathan couldn’t help but chuckle at your response, “there is no regular population in Gotham.” This time, you couldn’t help but laugh at him, “unless you’ve worked with the ruthless gangsters and murderers that Gotham has produced, I can beg to differ,” you said as you noticed Jonathan finally stepping out. You really didn’t know what it was that he really wanted but considering this was the first time you’ve actually had a conversation that wasn’t exactly work related, you’d take it.

-

You looked over to the clock realizing that it read eight in the evening. You quickly realized that most of your coworkers were now gone and it must’ve been you and a few of a the janitors.

You put all of your things into a bag, hoping that you’d just get something quick to eat and make it home.

Once you approached the front doors, you noticed that Jonathan was at his desk writing a few things down. You gave him a small wave and made your way to the door to leave but as you were about to reach your car, you noticed Jonathan approaching you again.

“A few of my friends and I are catching a rather late dinner tonight, would you be interested in coming along with me?” You blinked at him in disbelief. This past afternoon was the first time you’ve actually had spoken to him in a friendly manner and now he was asking you to catch dinner? “Um, depends? I don’t really know anyone here and the few friends that work at Arkham I don’t think would know anyone in our department.”

“If I remember correctly, your close friends with Edward Nashton in forensics?” You gave him another look in disbelief, wondering how the hell he knew him, “he was the one that gave me a headd up about your application for the psychology department. We’ve been friends for a rather long time if you were wondering.

You were going to grab Eddie by the neck for not telling you that he was friends with Jonathan.

“I mean, that doesn’t sound too bad. Where were you guys thinking of having dinner?” Jonathan fixed his glasses as he looked down to his phone, “there’s this really nice diner downtown that Eddie and I frequent from time to time. How about you just follow me and we can walk there,” he responded.

You agreed, not really having another choice so you quickly put your things into your car and met with Jonathan.

“So, has anyone been giving you a hard time? I know some of our colleagues can be a bit odd especially with newer staff,” you shook your head no, “for the most part, no problems at all. I just wish everyone was more friendlier. Back when I was the psychiatrist for Arkham with the prisoners, all of the staff was very friendly and easy to conversational with but now it seems like everyone just hates it there and cannot keep a conversation to save their lives.”

Jonathan couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Ah, so you have noticed the strange way of our coworkers to which I am not surprised by at all,” Jonathan replied. You clapped happily in agreement, “like I know I’m very talkative but it looks like it almost hurts them to speak unless it’s about work. I guess in a way that isn’t a bad thing considering that means there isn’t any workplace drama but I do miss having a friend to speak too.”

As the two of you approached the diner, you noticed that Eddie already had a table set for you.

“You moron, how come you didn’t tell me you knew Dr.Crane,” you said as you smacked him on the back of the head. Eddie looked to Jonathan and laughed, “well, you didn’t exactly ask. I just figured you’d end up becoming his friend anyway.”

You gave him one final look of disbelief before looking to the waiter. He looked no older than 22 and seemed like he wanted nothing more than to just leave the damn diner, “I’ll take your soup of the day if that isn’t too much,” he nodded as he slid you your water. As you went to grab a complimentary packet of crackers, you failed to see the look on Jonathan’s face as he looked at the waiter who was very much checking you out.

“Would you guys mind watching my bag? I need to run to the bathroom,” Edward nodded as he put it on the chair next to him. As soon as you were out of hearing range, Jonathan gave him a smirk, “I do like her so be nice with her,” Edward stated as Jonathan agreed, “she might be a little airy in the head but she seems like a good candidate for my newest drug.”

Edward shook his head.

“She’s very smart i do have to say. She graduated from Gotham with honors but I think she just likes to talk and be friendly with everyone. What is it with her and the drug you want to test out?” He asked. Jonathan held the small vile of liquid in his hand as he dropped it entirely into your water, “that is for you to find out Edward. She is in safe hands, I can promise you that but I just need to make sure that your friend here is a permanent yet perfect candidate for this experiment.”

Edward hummed in response as he slid the file that was in his bag over to Jonathan. It contained all of your personal information that you thought would only confidential to Arkham. It included your address, prior education history, former employers, and your tags for any social media you had. Edward and Jonathan had been conjuring up this little plan for over a year and while you were almost entirely clueless about it, they knew it wouldn’t take you long to realize it which is why Jonathan created the drug he spilled into your water to make you almost entirely oblivious to it.

“I can sense that my duty here is done?” Edward asked as he stood up from the table, “I’ll make sure to send her a message on my abrupt disappearance,” Edward added on as he quickly left the diner.

You walked out of the bathroom with your blazer now on your arm and your shirt being a bit more unbuttoned. Jonathan couldn’t help but laugh. The drug he had placed on the files, which he knew you were going to inevitably touch, was already making you more comfortable around him and he knew if you drank from the water, it would just give him a bigger advantage when it came to his endgame with his experiment.

Jonathan knew that finding love in the most conventional way was not in his ballpark. Jonathan wanted a woman with intelligence, someone he could speak to without feeling like he was talking to a brick wall and although there were plenty of women in Arkham who could fill that role, he knew that his plans as Scarecrow would turn all of them away and even get him in the hands of GCPD. Jonathan clearly did not want that but he also knew that he wanted someone who could rule beside him as a lover and as a second hand ‘assistant’ when it came to dealing with him as scarecrow as well as giving The Riddler and The Mad Hatter a hand when they needed it.

“Did Edward run to the bathroom as well?” You asked taking a drink of the water, “oh, Arkham had an emergency in the forensics department and he had to leave. He hoped that you wouldn’t mind,” Jonathan explained.

You shook your head nonchalantly, “no issue at all! But hey, isn’t it crazy that we were just coworkers not even a few hours ago and we’re now getting dinner?” You mentioned. Jonathan laugh, “crazy indeed. It looks like your dinner is here!” He replied as he picked at his own plate, not really in the mood to have dinner. He was more interested in seeing how long the drug would take to enter your system.

The two of you continued to talk over dinner, a casual conversation flowed between the two of you as you had no idea in the world that Jonathan now had his entire plan in motion. The more the two of you talked, the more you got closer. It started with you leaning over to him everything time he spoke and the way you were now, it was very clear his drug didn’t need a boost considering you were almost on the man.

Your shirt was down to the middle buttons and you were crossing your legs tightly.

“I do have a bottle of fine at my place if you want to continue the conversation there! I figure the diner might close soon but if you don’t feel comfortable with that, I’ll see you at work on Monday?” You asked. Jonathan grabbed your blazer along with your bag and held it on his arm, “lead the way to your apartment,” he said.

You instantly got up, making sure to leave a tip at the table for the waiter and took the lead for a second before you grabbed Jonathan’s arms and pushed him against the wall, “I know this is very straight forward but I just can’t continue to deny the fact that you are very attractive right now,” you whispered as you smashed your lips against his.

Bingo.

Jonathan ran his hands down your thigh as you jumped onto him. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you pushed your chest against his. Jonathan started to chuckle as felt you trying to unbutton his pants.

“I can’t help but agree with you,” Jonathan whispered in your ear as he started to play with the hem of your panties, “now how about we make it to your car and we can continue this session in your bedroom,” he continued. You agreed as you jumped off of him and practically dragged him over to your car.

Jonathan just needed to make sure he sent a thank you message over to Edward before the end of the night. His little experiment was now in his hands and he didn’t need to struggle much to achieve it.

[astropookie]

astro thoughts 🏇🌈✨💫🍳

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH ❤️ even though it’s almost July

disclaimer: I didn’t check my orthography

i hate it but what’s trying to tell me the universe. my friend reminds me of my mom 😭 kill me pls. she have sun 11H, she worries a lot about how others understand what she saids, what others may think of her. she wants to be peaceful but at the same time she have moon in scorpio so she’s struggling and she have a certain opinion about others based on the first impression or what made more impact -negative? idk. now I feel judge -I think it’s my anxiety-. Update: i said what was bothering me to her and everything is said, I’m proud of me, I’m in peace, she responded in a understanding manner. I can breath.

the degree of your ascendant says ALOT, not only about the physical appearance. it could point out even your career, how’s focused your life, how you react…now that I think about it, it’s like an ascendant in your ascendant pc (but if it confused you ignore it).

for example, my friend have gemini degree in his ascendant, he’s doing his major in communication, his family is full of artists and specially musicians, so he grew up knowing how to play every music instrument, it’s like breathing to him, music. he’s used to it and he express himself by composing and being curious, wanting to know about this and that. other example: my other friend has a gemini rising but I was thinking “there’s something that’s missing” 👀 the leo degree of course. he be slayyiing💅 he’s sassy. he knows what he wants and people always be wanting him not the other way around 🙄 he’s like purr stunning gurl 💋

the same friend told me the other day that his first impression of me was or exactly what he thought: “you don’t want to mess with her” “I wouldn’t mess with her ever”. he told me I remembered him of maddy of euphoria -I gave him the idea bc I didn’t understand and he agreed-. Ascendant - Saturn aspects make you look like a bad bitch, like they’ll kick your ass if you don’t do what they tell you, THEY ARE. The structure of their face is also bony. They look like they’re mad, like they’re on their way and if you step there you’re dead: karmic. The jawline, omg, is sharp, it could cut you.

Picture 1 Picture 2 Picture3

Also, bc Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, Capricorn ascendants and saturn-ascendant aspects share characteristics but are not the same? Capricorn risings have this cheekbones that are so sensual and even if they age, the cheekbones are still there, what you notice first is that. What they share is the intimidating aura strangers perceive. In different levels or forms I believe.

Dakota Johnson Gisele Bündchen

TWO QUEENS THAT I CANT FINISH TO DESCRIBE HOW THEIRE SO ETHEREAL BEAUTIFUL STUNNING ICONIC AND INFINITE THINGS MORE

I have Mars in Retrograde. I don’t know what bothers me until I explode or until I go to my psychologist. I minimize what bothers me and save it all in the back, so then my brain will hurt. I don’t figure out or notice when something bothers me bc I don’t think is a big deal or that’s a joke, but even if it’s a joke I can still not like it -a side note-. You’ll find me realizing later what was bothering me and then struggling to tell people how I really felt when they did THAT something.

Picture from Pinterest

when the kid’s mercury is sextile Saturn’s dad (synastry: mercury sextile saturn), it means the dad communicates with their child as a way of teaching, caring about them. through their communication, they share childhood stories, experiences of any type and what they have learned about them, what they have observed. trough their talking they share their wisdom. the father have all the attention of their kid when he opens his mouth. the kid somehow knows something important is about to be said or they admires their dad that much.

Picture from Pinterest

Leo moons 5H + aries degree can be pretty egoist, they could lost themselves in the idea of something, of having it. Also they don’t think, twice letting themselves be carried by the emotion that idea gives them. They’re in their pretty little world of fun but they are not looking what’s happening to others, they’re hungry for their passion. I HAVE TO TELL: not everyone with these placements are like this and blablabla -the same thing I say for precaution- AND I had something, it’s not even something 🙄 I had nothing with these placement k? but it gives you an explanation for my attitude. STILL, I think I gotta mention some of the synastry so it’ll make sense. In another time bc I don’t want to waste my energy in that -and don’t want to-.

Saturn in opposition with Uranus aspect makes the individual stay in the doubt. They’re stanched while they keep analyzing the pro and cons of the situation they want to start/be part. Even if someone extern try to help, they’ll be doubting more.

Virgo moons are just so wholesome ☹️❤️ They want to help. they’re always doing something. they want the best for you. they care of others as if they take care of themselves but better, sadly. they work too much they need a rest but they know they’ll be anxious of doing nothing. they’re just pure souls. they’re so kind. always helping in a ONG/organization that helps needed ones.

Aquarius mercury always have something to say, they’re always right 🙄 even though they say it’s comprensible and natural that everyone have their own beliefs I don’t believe them. I think they think their mindset is better and everyone should follow it. LIKE GURL WTF I know you think you are wise and shit and you’ve passed through experiences that made you learned and that inspired you to tell them to others BUT let others make mistakes and be wrong, let others don’t be like you, there’s the beauty. I always find them criticizing others for their manners, as if they have lived the same way you did.

I don’t believe/trust? in libras, yeah ok may be that my sun is in libra but not my whole chart. That’s what I’m talking about, with that last sentence I’m gaslighting you 💌 how tf you believe in libras when they don’t tell the truth directly I CANT. With my honesty I gotta mention that my libra sun appear when I don’t want to ruin something that benefits me, when I don’t know the person and I try my best, to my sag/scorpio/aquarius placements to not appear. They always keep something in their minds, they don’t tell you all, they keep to themselves some part, could be to not hurt you, doesn’t benefits them or whatever. a friend with moon in libra degree and another with libra moon: I always want them to say what they want, they can’t. I want to squish the hell out of them bc I can’t too😭🔪

Ceres 3H is a good placement for a psychologist. How they motivate others using their minds, that easily absorbs and process/analyses experiences and knowledge, to finally find a solution depending on the case -of the patient-, so it’ll be suitable. When they help others, their communication keeps improving with time. More experience = better. Still, it’s natural.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[mezzo-pianist]

i think one of the starting points of my downfall is that when i had actually gotten the chance to get help (when i started seeing a psychologist) i was 13-15 it felt like i wasn’t really taken seriously because of my young age? i would talk about my feelings and issues but it would always be brought back to stuff like hormones and yeah that was definitely a part of it but i was having these feelings since i was like 7 or 8, i think hormones and puberty just amplified them, not create them like everyone else told me. I haven’t seen my psychologist in years now because it honestly just felt like a waste of time in the end, and now i’m seriously the lowest i’ve ever been. It’s just disappointing because maybe if i was actually being listened to i could’ve had a diagnosis or something by now and could understand myself a bit better? like yeah i know having a diagnosis wouldn’t fix things for me but i feel like having one would give me clarity and maybe even allow me to learn how to work with myself a bit better? but in saying that i know how difficult or almost impossible it would be to diagnose a young teenager going through puberty so i understand why they didn’t. And now that i’ve had that experience i don’t even feel like reaching out is worth it anymore

idk this is just a stupid rant, i just think the mental health system tends to let kids down and it’s so sad to see, and although i’m no longer a kid anymore, from what i’ve seen on this platform, i doubt anything has changed for the better

(i’m not blaming my current mental health on this btw! i’m aware i make things worse for myself!!)

[maniacpixiedreamboy]

ok ok so ive never watched a playthru or played it myself but in mouthwashing, does jimmy display symptoms of schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder? bc some people call him psychotic/schizophrenic when referring to the horrible shit he does and as someone who has severe depression w/ psychotic symptoms (and schizophrenic family) it does not feel great lol.... considering how bigoted fandom spaces are in general it doesnt surprise me. but idk at least if there's some basis for this in the game and its not just usual fandom head canons being ableist I'd understand

curious as to your thoughts on this! i know this is probably not ur area of expertise but i am interested in seeing what u think

hiii! (You should def play it or watch a playthru I think you’d enjoy. Jimmy is so….i love him I just ignore the fandom.)

I’m gonna preface this w I don’t have any sort of psychotic symptoms (that I know of lol.) but like. I get where the fandom is coming from? But I don’t agree w the him experiencing psychosis/BPD symptoms/etc = him being a bad person. His life + experiences + their hyper capitalist reality + his closest friend brushing his warning signs under the rug just snowballs and makes him worse and worse. I have such a love hate relationship w Jimmy bc like. Yes he did a very bad thing. But also like! It didn’t have to be that way! If he got help the game just. Wouldn’t happen. But also like! Even without his symptoms he’d be a bad guy which is something to keep in mind.

he canonically hallucinates in the game. Personally I think Jimmy has some sort of schizophrenzia (or general psychosis? Not sure. I’m not a psychologist.) + npd + bpd.

it’s really heavily implied he’s someone who never got help for his issues and his closest friend (Curly) constantly downplays his issues (which makes Jimmy worse. I think Curly insists Jimmy is ‘normal’ and just insists he needs sleep/water/vitamins/etc which just makes things worse.

Mouthwashing is also set in like a hyper capitalist world where mental health is like. Not a concern at all really. Even the psych evaluations that happen in game are really only to ensure everyone can do their job. And the only tool given to solve issues within a crew is a gun.

Pony Express (the company in the game) only allows employees 5 hours of break (yes this includes sleep time). So like. Jimmy is not only facing mental health problems but also + isn’t sleeping enough at all + stuck on a ship in space. Basically. He’s not doing good.

I think there’s a lot to be said about mouthwashing + capitalism and lack of mental health resources/discussion.

[jianhue]

Information about William !! (Moral Orel oc)

Stuff you should know !

1. My English is HORRIBLE. I don't have the greatest vocabulary so most of my sentences are repetitive

2. His information might change over time.

3. Uhh idk if this needs any warning but there is some topics about trauma and stuff so watch out for that

4. This is written informally lol

5. I made this around midnight, there's some mistakes

Text form:

Basic information:

Name: William Boltspin

Age: 36

Occupation: Psychologist

Height: 5’11

Habits: over analysing people’s small gestures, thinking out loud, tripping on nothing when nervous, fidgeting, freezing when in put into a tight spot

Hobbies: Reading, watching stuff go down

Introduction:

Will is introduced as a new person in town. He recently moved in, and since nobody was willing to show him around, Orel did. But in a typical Moral Orel episode, something happens. In the good will of Orel, he shared a little too much. This kind of scared Will out, but he still stayed in the town. Mostly because he was fascinated by how the town was old-school. At first, he got along with the townspeople, but they soon realised they had different principles and ideals.

Seeing how he wasn't really attending the daily sermons, Orel took it upon himself to invite him to church. Will isn't really the type to go to church daily, but seeing how everyone was going and how eager Orel was to get him to attend the sermons, he started attending daily too. After an episode focusing on his move, he became a typical side character, only showing up on screen for a few scenes or just in the background.

Show appearances:

During season 1, aside from his little worries and complaints about the children in town having too much freedom, Will is seen acting fairly normal. He's been seen in church, walking to the doctor’s office, etc. Most of his appearance is just him passing by; sometimes he gives out advice that is a bit too vague.

In season 2, his concerns grow, and he starts to disagree with some of the other characters. He doesn’t get along with Reverend Putty much, but he does tolerate him. Will offers to babysit some of the children, mostly doughy or shapey. It’s mostly because he sees signs of neglect. Unfortunately, he does have work of his own, so he isn’t always there for them.

Upon learning about his profession, some started to doubt his faith. He still attends church even with people talking about him, and his only reason is because of Orel. Will does try to correct the behaviour of some people, but when he gets a bad response (which happens every time), he takes it back. Sometimes, mostly by accident, he does the same thing he criticises people for. Telling people not to yell in front of children or to not show any bad behaviour they can pick up.

He still bonds and gives some proper advice to Orel, but makes sure to keep him at arm's length. He’s afraid of being dragged into the things Orel does. But in an episode, he finally had the courage to join Orel. He follows him around and secretly does things so they avoid trouble. But of course, trouble does happen. Before Orel was taken to Clay’s study room, they made eye contact. Will felt responsible since he was an adult and he was around Orel the whole time. Even though he felt immense guilt, he was still too afraid to intervene. He mouthed the words “I’m sorry, Orel.” In the end, he became a bystander. Something he wished he never would be.

Season 3 is where Will’s mental health starts to deteriorate. He feels guilty for being so hypocritical. Feeling responsible for kids he isn’t even related to has taken a toll on him. Other adults also started to vent out their problems to him at the bar, hoping for some advice from Will.

His last scene is Orel finding him sitting at an alley next to Forghetty’s Bar. Will was drunk and cried to Orel about everything he hated, even calling Clay a bastard right in front of him. After that furious rant he calmed down and started muttering about how he “didn’t want to be like this” and that he’s sorry for being such a horrible person, a bystander, a hypocrite, a coward, a person he can’t rely on. He picks up his glasses and apologises before realising who he was dumping all his problems to. It was Orel. A child. He remembers his promise to himself, never burden a child with your problems. Not even as an accident. Not knowing what to do, he just froze and cried.

After that scene, Will would be seen avoiding children. He’s seen more often in the bar, mostly in the background or puking at the corner.

Upbringing:

As a kid, Will would be told to turn a blind eye to things that were not his business. Around his teenage years, he would witness a violent crime, but instead of helping, he just pretended he didn’t see anything and walked away. The person would later be found dead. Will couldn’t take it; he felt extreme guilt, blaming himself for not saving them or even just calling the police.

His mother also had violent outbursts, venting her problems to her son. He felt responsible for her, so he just took everything. Beatings, berating, everything. Will basically took care of her. His mother was a very judgmental woman, whispering to him about people around his neighbourhood. Will gaslights himself to think that it’s just his mother’s way of showing concern and affection. When he finished college, his mother passed away. He never actually bothered to find his father because his mother told him, “It’s not worth finding that bastard of a man." Will just followed what his mother said. But in the end, his own mother’s last words were, “I fucking hate that face of yours. You’re a spitting image of that fucking bastard.”

He already knew his mother actually hated him. He just denied it. But hearing it straight from her just made him lose it. Will swore to never treat a child like his mother did to him.

[nicomoon69]

College AU (or a retirement job au?) where Bernard is a Biology Professor and Tim is a [doesn’t matter] Professor. For the sole purpose of this interaction:

Professor Drake accidentally enters the lecture hall Bernard was teaching in.

Professor Dowd, planning to use Drake as an example of how little we know about our bodies, asks “Professor Drake, could you tell me where your spleen is located?”

Drake replies, “Probably in a jar somewhere in Asia.”

Dowd: 😧

That interaction starts their enemies to lovers story. It was posted on the internet and it wants them to fuck

O MY GODS YES!!!! Bernard would hate Tim somehow being witty with the weirdest story ever and Tim would be so smug bc “HA gotchu”

and not to delve into headcanons but to delve into headcanons I think Tim should teach a language. like he somewhere while heroing does a smth part time and it’s something he already knows so he’s somewhat breezing through it outside of the like cultural side of the study (my preference goes for like Chinese or Ancient Greek) (also disclaimer idk how language studies work outside of the Netherlands so if that’s not how they work in the us mb) and then when he quits hero life does like a master before he ends up teaching at Gotham University (so this would be a retirement AU)

anyways I think them somehow not realizing its Bernard Dowd and Tim Drake from high school would be funny. like they’re beefing for months without ever noticing that “hey wasn’t that the weirdo I went to school with briefly” bc atp it would’ve been years (they’re like well into heir 30s I think) and neither of them rlly recognize the other outside of “hm this feels familiar but I’m not gonna look too deep into it”

also Bernard hating on Tim for being a rookie professor bc Bernard has been working at the university for years while Tim random ass decided after his master that “hey I mean since they asked me why the hell not teach”

and everyone at least somewhat knows of the homoerotic professor fights happening. like you said the internet wants them to fuck!!! someone made a reddit post or smth that blew up (and neither of them is aware bc Bernard learned to not be chronically online anymore and Tim quit the internet bc his psychologist told him to)

them realizing who the other is should also be the most anticlimactic thing ever. random student points it out and they both go “huh”