#idk I was in the shower thinking about this
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state of grace ❀ s. reid x reader
in which your cat has taken liking to your friend with benefits, and you begin to battle with the consequential feelings.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff (18+ for suggestive content) tags: established friends with benefits. reader has a cat. your cat likes him more than you :( avoidant!reader for like a teensie second. it's okay happy ending. the happiest possible ending actually. fade to black. word count: 1.9k a/n: sometimes the most beautiful poetry can be about simple things. like a cat. :) im a dog person. idk why i wrote this.
Seventeen times.
That is how many times Spencer Reid had found residence at your apartment in the past month alone, taking up the space on the other side of your bed. Thirteen of those times he had stayed the night. Six of those times, he had come for sex. The other eleven? He had come because you needed a friend.
Or, rather, your cat did.
You had discovered you weren't any more complex than your average man, at the end of the day. Human beings are at their core created to love and be loved, and by extension, to want and be wanted. You wanted Spencer, and you were wanted by Spencer. For both your friendship, and the intimacy your relationship provided.
But you did not love him, and he did not love you.
Cat's are anything but fickle creatures. A lot of your best friendships were centred around whether or not your cat developed a liking to the person or not. Oftentimes, your fleeting relationships came down to the odd sixth sense the animal had for disliking the worst people. That, and your one night stands were never a crowd favourite within the walls of your apartment. And yet; Spencer Reid.
He was nothing short of charming. In a sort of dorky way, yes. But whatever socially romantic skills he lacked, he most certainly made up for by giving you the best of just about everything in bed. A small part of you wants to claim it's human instinct to know how to worship the person meant for you, but the logical reason is probably his eidetic memory knowing exactly what he's doing after a singular trial run. Entertaining the thought of being his soulmate was not a wise choice.
He most certainly was your cat's, though. The Ragdoll always jumping down to greet him the second he stepped foot in your apartment, usually resulting in the break of a kiss and a five minute intermission before the two of you could do anything.
At first, it was an inconvenience. Your cat had never taken such a liking to a person you'd brought home before, and it was jarring to watch a man you were partially trying to undress, stop everything to pet your cat. Now, it is simply endearing. You've stopped trying to steal Spencer's attention before the cat does, and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer's priority list will always be the feline, then you.
Today was, seemingly, no different. Despite the dull ache between your legs and the fact that this visit had started as something as obscene as Spencer calling from his work bathroom to ask if he could come over after for he was, and you quote, in dire need to touch you (among many other things), whatever those needs were, were put on hold.
You smile regardless, leaning against the edge of your couch as he crouches down to meet Po — yes, like the panda — his hand immediately reaching out for the cat to run his head along.
Spencer's head lifts to look at you. "Morgan thinks Po isn't a real cat, and we've just got a name for your—um—" his brain catches up to his mouth mid sentence, and he's stammering his way to silence.
"Please tell me you defended my cat's honour," you retort.
"I did! I even showed him the photo I took of him while you were in the shower last week. He thinks it's a different person's cat."
You shake your head in disapproval. "Unbelievable. Your coworker thinks we've named my pussy."
"That's just Morgan."
"I wish Po could speak English. Then he could hear this nonsense, and stop loving you more than me," you grumble, and Spencer's lips twitch up into a smile, as he situates himself on the floor, the cat climbing into his lap.
"Actually, he technically can. Cat's can understand up to thirty-five words in whatever language you train them in. Also, when they meow, they begin trying to mimic the sound of certain human words. It's their vocal tract that prevents them from literally speaking English," he explains.
But, you're too invested in the way his long fingers are delicately running through the cat's hair, to both respond, and really pay any attention at all.
You had had fleeting thoughts about real feelings for Spencer two months ago. Brushing them off as loneliness and your need to satiate the hopeless romantic within you, you'd forgotten about it up until this recent week.
He'd been over every single day, sometimes for sex, oftentimes for a movie and dinner (which was usually a bowl of pasta you had overestimated while cooking). And every single time, you'd developed an overwhelming anxious pit in your stomach when watching him interact with Po, your heart fluttering the entire time, mind running rampant on domestic thoughts you should be squashing.
Should be, but weren't.
You'd tried to put it down to the motherly instinct you had over the animal. Seeing somebody else treat him with as much love and care as you did was endearing — it wasn't a Spencer Reid specific trait. Yet, here you were.
"I feel like the benefits of this relationship have changed," you say, seating yourself in front of Spencer on the floor, Po lifting his head to look at the person behind the sudden movement, before he let it rest back on Spencer's thigh.
"To what?"
"My cat," you huff, and Spencer laughs.
"He is my favourite benefit thus far," he muses.
"The feeling is definitely mutual," you nod your head to Po, whose eyes were now shut, seemingly quite comfortable disregarding all your personal plans and taking Spencer's attention.
"Animals don't usually like me," he comments. "I don't know why Po is different."
Oh, you had a few ideas why.
"Maybe he's exercising the keep your enemies closer life motto," you offer, and Spencer's eyebrows shoot up in faux offence.
"This is unadulterated love," he protests. "He does not think of me as an enemy."
"That's what he wants you to believe," you hum, pushing yourself up on your legs. "Well, since plans have been rudely interrupted, do you want some dinner?"
"Sure," he answers, though his attention is back on Po. Clearly so, for he says, "I'll get to our original plans after we eat, don't worry," almost absentmindedly.
It's the kind of thing that makes you forget you're in the room with the dictionary definition of a nerd. You know it's only because sometimes he says what he is thinking without thinking. It doesn't do anything to help the ongoing internal battle about your feelings for him.
Or maybe he does know exactly what he's doing.
"You should get a cat," you say, heading into your kitchen to find something for the two of you to eat. "You seem to like them enough."
"Why? I have yours."
"I'm not going to be around forever," you reply, unthinking. "I mean, one day we're gonna have to end this because the other has found someone they want to be with. Properly. It wouldn't be fair to keep a friendship."
He falls silent, and when you lift your head, you see he's staring at you with an almost confused frown on his face, which triggers your own confusion to appear. His scratching of Po's head has been interrupted, and you're starting to question what was wrong about what you had said.
Sure, you're pretty sure you have feelings for him, but as far as you knew, they were one sided. Right?
"I didn't—I thought—" he cuts himself off, takes a deep breath, then continues. "I thought that had changed this past month."
"What do you mean?"
"I just—I've been here for things other than sex a lot. I thought you knew I liked you, and you were subtly trying to tell me you liked me too. I'm starting to sense I misread that."
For a profiler, he was incredibly awful at reading you.
"Yeah..." You slowly nod your head, but it's the deepening of his frown that has you rushing to add, "I mean, I—I do. Like you. I'm kind of embarrassed that was obvious. But I didn't think you liked me outside of having sex with me. I wasn't trying to communicate my feelings. I was trying to hide them."
"Oh," he falls silent again. "So the times I’ve been here in the past month weren’t makeshift dates?"
"They weren't intended that way..." you trail off. "Did you see them as dates?"
"Kind of, I guess," he's back to running his fingers through Po's fur, just to keep his anxious hands busy. "They don't have to be, if you don't want them to. I just thought this feeling was mutual and we were... I guess, dating."
"The feeling is mutual," you quickly correct him. "I know that now. I didn't think we were dating because I didn't think you liked me back. Changing our relationship kind of needs to be a conversation."
"Right," he breathes out, an awkward smile painting his lips. "Is this the conversation, then?"
"I guess?"
"So now we're dating."
"If that's what you want," you nod, head feeling a little fuzzy.
"Is it what you want?" he presses. Always the gentleman.
"Maybe," you muse, leaning forwards against the kitchen countertop.
He's watching you, and for a second you let the silence fall over you, fearful that you've just discouraged him enough to ruin things between you. He carefully takes Po off his lap, the cat running into your room the second his paws hit the hardwood floor, and he's standing up to move over to you.
"I don't like maybe," he frowns. "Yes or no?"
You blink, realising he was evidently too anxious of your genuine response to have any recognition to your poor attempt of a joke.
"Yes, Spencer. That's what I want," you're breathless as you speak, and you're thankful for the relieved smile that stretches across his lips.
"That's what I want too," he answers.
"Yeah, I figured." Your second attempt at a tease lands, and he huffs a small laugh, which warms your heart. "Do you still want dinner?"
He had somehow gotten closer to you throughout the awkward enough conversation, and he was sliding his arms around your waist. Something he had done many times before, yes, and yet this time it was feeling much more intimate, and your heart was thrumming against your chest a little harder than usual.
"Maybe it can wait?" he offers, ducking his head down, lips ghosting over your own. "I don't have a bothersome cat keeping me preoccupied from you, now."
Despite yourself, you poke a finger into his chest and say, "Don't insult Po."
"I'm not. Just merely stating an obvious fact."
"I'll call him back in here to preoccupy me."
"He has selective hearing. And he likes me more than you."
Your lips drop into a frown, lower lip jutting out, and Spencer is quick to try and kiss it off within seconds of noticing it.
"I'm sorry. That was mean. I promise he doesn't like me more than you," he says, though his voice is too amused to be entirely sincere.
"That was mean," you agree with a firm nod. "You're very mean to me, Spencer Reid."
"I know, I'm awful. Can I make it up to you, sweet girl?"
Well, when he asks you like that.
"Mm..." you hesitate, but he's already guiding you around, walking you backwards, through your apartment and towards your bedroom. "Yeah, I guess so."
Hands that were around your waist hike your shirt up, his lips still kissing against your skin despite the intense multitasking he was forcing upon the two of you.
"Thank you."
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡
#lia’s fics ♡#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer x self insert#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid x you
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that's why I'm so confused ab how i feel towards this scene.
1) the only ppl who know jinx was ab to kill herself was us, the audience. jinx has little to no sense of self-preservation in s1, in the eyes of Vi she's reckless, but she haven't mentioned killing herself of made a movement like that as far as Vi knows. she had made the movement accepting death but not having death by her own hands, which are different things. so in some way, yes, there's reason for Vi taking that as Jinx saying "go and be happy and I'm going away". Vi's reaction, in my interpretation, is about her sister going away for good, as far as she knows, but not killing herself. hell, I'm not gonna lie, i wasn't immediately thinking she was talking about killing herself either. so it's so fucking annoying the ppl who are seriously saying that "Vi let her sister to kill herself" bc it's a matter of what the characters know (it's s1ep3 finale all over again and somehow y'all still put the blame on Vi entirely) and could/couldn't do (we have no way to know this was 5min later as far as we know it could've been 1h later)
2) what i don't enjoy is the lack of enough conversation between Cait and Vi. bc yes, it's not about singleminded trying to get Jinx anymore, Caitlyn is saying she's not there anymore, she's done with Jinx for good. that's implied/clear enough. what it's not clear is how the fuck did she just let a terrible enough situation become worse and just goes "well i was mourning". of course you were - but so MOST PPL AROUND ZAUN FOR DECADES. the writing here is shallow. it's not only a matter of what Caitlyn did, it's about what Caitlyn allowed to make worse. it didn't start with her and it won't finish with her, and season 1 makes it clear that Vi knows this well enough to let herself grow more and more fond of Caitlyn, while holding accountable the fact that the ppl currently leading Piltover aren't trying to do enough. they had a point and they ignored it in order to make the issue of Caitlyn seem less than it actually is.
3) finally, if this wasn't happening inside a fucking prison cell i would be way less thorned. sorry, you're (the writers) telling me this is better than, idk on Caitlyn's bed after a scene of them both maybe having a shower together while Caitlyn washes off the dry blood in Vi's wounds, clean her hurt knuckles? there's the oil and water/water and blood imagery right there, and y'all just decided to throw that out of the window?
anyway, stop blaming Vi for what she didn't know and/or couldn't do. and the writers dismissed Vi's trauma and Caitlyn's action's real impact.
The sex scene could only happen after these conditions:
1) Jinx telling Vi she deserves to be happy with Caitlyn
2) Caitlyn letting go of her singleminded mission to capture/punish Jinx
Vi as a character has ALWAYS been torn by the division between Jinx and Caitlyn. The narrative has always demanded that she choose only of them and she has always refused. Always loving both of them, always trying to keep both of them in her life.
But after those scenes, the two loves of her life, the two halves of her heart weren’t pulling her in different directions anymore. Now both of them were leading her to the same destination: allowing herself happiness.
#arcane#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#vi arcane#jinx arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#piltover's finest#violyn#arcane season two#arcane season 2
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What are we..? - K. LH
pairing: toxic!leehan x fem!reader
�� summary: after an amount of time full of flirtatious acts and joyful dates spent with leehan, you were blinded by love and thought you found the one even imagining yourself as a mother. But maybe leehan wasn’t who you thought he was..
༄ contains: angst, swearing (literally one word), love bombing, leehan is a dick!, use of y/n, use of leehan’s real name (donghyun), idk if i missed anything but enjoy 👏😊!
★ a/n: so uhm funny story..after i posted my intro i also got chewed up by a tiger and died! (the tiger being my sister..) so i have come back from the dead to start posting 😊 (the tiger has been threatening me to post so here i am 😊!)
more under the cut!
The clock read 8pm as you stood cold and upset outside of a fancy restaurant that donghyun had told you he’d meet you at but clearly never showed up.
He was supposed to be here by 7pm but after many missed calls and avoided texts you decided to wait figuring he was just busy getting ready. But 10 minutes turned into 20 minutes, 20 turning into 30, and 30 turning into an hour.
You scoffed looking at your phone screen to see no new notifications which is no shocker since this isn’t the first time he’s stood you up.
“What a dick” you mutter to yourself as you storm away to the direction of your car. This dinner was supposed to be a “make up” dinner since he’d been busy with other things and hadn’t been making plans with you. You had gotten ready with such an excited manner putting on the dress he loved and the perfume he bought you for your birthday.
You and donghyun hadn’t made it official yet only going on a few dates for the past few months but in such little time you couldn’t help but start falling for him, fast.
He seemed like a nice guy, handsome, caring, sweet, gentle, and everything you could ever ask for in a man. You felt lucky being with a guy like him, you felt the need to do anything to please him, anything to make him feel the same way you did. But soon your efforts seemed to be going to waste as time went on, he felt to be drifting away very slowly.
You slammed your car door shut with a defeated feeling bubbling in your stomach. You felt tears forming on your waterline but this wasn’t something tear worthy so you tried your best to suck it up and drive back home.
The faint music playing in the background made the feeling settle down a bit since your favorite soft artist was playing, clairo.
Eventually you made it back home and got changed out of your clothes, took a shower, and made your way to bed.
While lying in bed, you couldn’t help but think about what went wrong throughout your small relationship with donghyun. You had thought maybe this could bloom into something more, maybe even having him meet your parents and start a family one day.
You couldn’t help but feel a small pang in your chest, tears begging to be released.
You couldn’t contain it any longer and let it flow, over, and over again. Your sobs grew louder as you gripped the pillow under you, you never thought a guy could make you feel this way. Both happy and excited for his next move mixed with disappointment and frustration.
You didn’t know what to expect every time he promised to make it up to you. You always thought he would change and start to be better but it always ended up being the same results.
Once you calmed down a bit, you drifted to sleep with racing thoughts and pressure built up in your chest. Let’s hope tomorrow will be a better day..
The cruel ringing of your alarm tore you out of your slumber while you were having the best dream. Where Donghyun wasn’t a complete dick and actually took interest in you.
It saddened you that you could only dream about him being that way rather than experiencing it in real life.
You pushed all thoughts aside and focused on getting ready for work.
Once you were finished, you grabbed your keys and headed out of your apartment to your car when a text popped on your screen from the one and only, donghyun.
The worst part about being in this situationship with donghyun was you couldn’t say no, no matter how hard you tried he always had a way of convincing you.
You let out a disappointed sigh, you knew that you couldn’t get too excited anymore since most of the time when he asked to go out he stood you up with no excuse and you always forgave him. But a little part of you still had hope that he’d come through this time.
You made it to work, starbucks, clocked in and started working.
Work was going peaceful until a customer walked in. Male, a little taller than you, in his mid 30’s.
You watched him as he walked up to the counter to where you stood, his walk had this pettiness in it that you couldn’t help but choke down a small giggle.
“Hi! Welcome to starbucks, what’s the name for the order?” You greeted the man enthusiastically. “rob and uh can I get a tall iced pumpkin latte and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin, make it quick I don’t have all day.” The man replied while pulling out his phone.
You scoffed at the man’s behavior, now known as rob. No thank you? No please? You tried to keep your cool as you told the man the price of his order and turned to start making it.
After about 10 minutes you finished his order and went back to the front to call his name.
“I got a tall iced pumpkin latte and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin for rob!” Shortly after calling out the order, the man stomped over to the counter, snatched his order without taking his gaze off his phone, and walked out.
Not even 5 minutes go by before the bell on the door rings and the same man walks in angrily, his drink in one hand and his phone in the other.
“This is wrong.” “Uhm no sir that’s an iced pumpkin latte just like you ordered..” You shot back.
“This has foam. I didn’t ask for foam.” The man barked. You took a deep breath in, “Well sir make sure to clarify that when you order so we can get it right next time” You smiled sarcastically.
“Give me a refund now or I want to speak to your manager.”
You paused and bit your lip to keep yourself from spilling out obscenities for the sake of your job. “Unfortunately, we can’t refund you for a drink you already took a sip out of, i’m sorry i got your order wrong, have a nice day!”
“Young lady do you know who i am? I could get you fired from here with one complaint.” The man spat at you.
Oh my god someone kill me you thought. “Sir, just like I told you there’s nothing i can do, the least i can do is apologize.”
The man rambled on and on leaving you to stand there with your hands behind your back and taking deep breaths. The anger boiling inside of you was begging to be let out.
Just as you were about to snap, your manager stepped out to ask what all the noise was about and ordered you to take a break.
You stormed to the back and tore off your apron, sitting down on a chair trying to calm yourself down.
As frustrated as you were, you couldn’t let this ruin your mood, but it seemed like the universe wanted you to always have bad days.
Soon your shift ended, it was 7pm and you were exhausted and still a little frustrated while you rushed home to take a shower and finally relax.
You had completely forgotten about donghyun wanting to come over until you opened your apartment door.
You were greeted with your favorite candies and a bowl of popcorn while donghyun made himself at home with his feet on your table. That ticked you a little.
As soon as he saw you walk through the door he stood up and walked over to you and pulled you into a small hug. “Geez I didn’t know you were working for so long, i’ve been waiting here for a while!” He chuckled as he led you to the couch. 
You reluctantly sat down, “How did you get in my house?!” He laughed before responding, “Did you forget you hid a key under your doormat?”
“Fuck i need to take that out” You whispered to yourself.
“Let’s watch a movie come on!” Donghyun quickly put his feet back on the table and grabbed the whole bowl of popcorn.
You closed your eyes and shook your head, trying to keep your anger tamed. “Donghyun, i never said you can come to my house unannounced.”
He looked at you, “We’re watching a movie together right?” You cleared your throat, “I never said yes but i appreciate the effort you put into this but i need you to leave.”
“What? Are you mad at me?” He tries to pull you into a hug to keep your mind off of your frustration.
You didn’t reciprocate the hug, just sitting there letting him lean on you. “Donghyun.” “y/n let’s watch a movie come on that’s why i’m here!” “Donghyun-“ “y/n stop talking we’re watching a movie”
You closed your eyes, you were fed up with him not acknowledging the problems and mental problems he’s caused, only making little effort to tell you he’s sorry without using actual words.
You snapped, “Donghyun im done, im so fucking done with you not caring about my feelings and making me wait for you every night whether it’s out in the cold or even a text back! The thing i hate most about this- whatever we are is how you don’t even make an effort to make me feel better, how you don’t even know how much pain and exhaustion you’ve caused me, how you don’t realize how much i’m willing to do for you!” Tears now streaming down your face all the emotion and frustration built up spilling out.
Donghyun stared at you confused for a moment as if he didn’t know what you were saying. “Y/n..what are you talking about..?” a nervous chuckle coming out of him.
“The fact that you’re not taking me serious right now says everything I need to know-“ you sniffled, “donghyun, can you tell me one thing? What are we..?”
It got quiet, donghyun not knowing what to say. The silence was eating you alive, only your heavy breaths being heard.
The silence lasted for several minutes before donghyun finally spoke, “.. We’re friends y/n..”
That felt like a stab in the heart, did all of this mean nothing to him? Was all of this just for fun?
The pain in your chest was unbearable, now it was your turn to stay quiet.
The both of you stared at each other for what felt like hours, donghyun’s eyes were glossed over while your face was coated with tears.
You took a deep breath in and looked away, “Donghyun please leave..” You whispered with a shaky voice. “Y/n-“ “leave.”
Without another word, donghyun got up, dusted off his clothes, and walked out taking a small glance before slamming the door.
As soon as you heard the door shut, you let out ugly sobs. Your heart ached, it felt like it shattered into microscopic pieces.
You sat there with your face in your hands, shaking rapidly basically drowning in your tears for hours upon hours.
It hurt. it hurt so bad and you couldn’t do anything about it. All you could do was cry.
All of your effort, all of the affection you’ve given him, everything you’ve sacrificed just to keep him happy over your own happiness had all gone to waste.
The rest of the night all you did was cry, replaying all the interactions you’ve had, thinking of the good times, yearning for something that could never be.
끝!! im sorry for not posting for a month after my intro as i said that tiger ATTACKED me but im here now so tell me your thoughts!
#taesanboki ྀིྀི#boynextdoor#fanfiction#kpop#bnd leehan#bnd angst#bnd fic#bnd fluff#bnd smut#bnd#kim leehan#kim donghyun#leehan boynextdoor#bnd riwoo#bnd jaehyun#bnd sungho#bnd taesan#bnd hard hours#bnd imagines#bnd reactions#bnd scenarios#bnd smau#bnd woonhak#bnd x reader#boynextdoor angst#boynextdoor fluff#leehan#donghyun
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Okay so idk if this idea has been pitched before but like imagine if you will that mel comes across the little time prisons chronos has for everyone (where are they? Idk just roll with it) and she gets to release them one at a time, building up all the way to persephone. And as she releases them they head back to the crossroads together
For example mel comes across dusa’s box and frees dusa, a little interaction occurs and then they travel back to the crossroads together and dusa continues to reside there. Then of mel comes across meg next and the same thing happens etc etc.
I could be as bold to say that they could accompany you like familiars but idk if that’s a good idea lol
#idk I was in the shower thinking about this#I had a very vivid vision that when she frees thanatos his spot in the crossroads is right next to hypnos and he frets over him#completely sane stuff happening in my brain#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#hades ii
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girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief
for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled
something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.
figuring out the looks:
i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair
#tim drake#dc#bruce wayne#janet drake#sart#i'm picturing this as transfemme tim hence “he” and also compounding issues about bruce treating him as a daughter#which is exactly the gender validation tim wants and needs but isnt sure he deserves#but this also definitely works for trans tim#she gets to process that she looks like her mom!! and her mom will never get to know her daughter#would she have wanted to know her daughter? even though she showered tim with love when she was around#she barely knew her son#gender idk he's a girl 👍 hope that helps#i went down a rabbit hole looking up vintage dior necklaces -- hopefully something martha wayne wouldve worn#-- but dior necklaces are COMPLICATED#i almost drew pearls but i think that wouldve been too cruel to bruce lol#(a decent amount of my art--even when it's not femme tim--gets tagged 'gender' and i dont know what im going but im glad 👍)
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#vampire hunter d#vhd#art#D the horseman of death (〃‿〃♡)#Hello Hello I hope you're all doing well 🥹🥹#Sorry that I only draw D haha I can't help it (❀ •̀ᴗ•́ )♡#I started Tyrant Stars recently and I finished gold fiend about a week ago?#Honestly I miss the stories where D would stay in one town in the entire story and be a little detective#since pale fallen angel it's been a lot of traveling ....🥲#and it will never not be funny to me that D has pockets full of dirt 😭 D take a shower man.... or wash your clothes please💀#2 versions because as much as I like white hair D he looks like alucard here because of the gold accents ( •_•)#I've never actually watched or played any of his games idk it does interest me? but not enough to sit down and watch it yet#I wanted to experiment with a black out style ( I tried incorporating red but I got too annoyed.#I intend to render it at some point!#so it might end up looking completely different#well...If I get myself to complete this and I like how it looks in the end I think I might make a little bookmark out of it for myself (〃‿〃#I think it would be neat...#....you see me drawing poppies a lot forgive me 💀They're just my favorite flowers💀 The symbolism works out for this drawing....
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You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.
Starring Role (Patreon)
#My art#ISaT#ISaT Spoilers#Siffrin#Loop#Technically - you know how it goes#Me when I relate to Siffrin: Oh no haha that's probably not great whoops haha#Me when I relate to Loop: Oh. Oh No.#Lenti has such a deathgrip on my ISaT opinions wtf how is she so powerful I thought my fave was Sif?? But I mean well-#Lol#Does this count as vent idk lol#It was fun to write tho :) Very easy! Done all at once!#As was drawing this! Also done all at once! And black and white is still really fun to work with hehe#I got to use some pretty cool outline/lineart tricks for this one yay :D#The original draft of the fic had a different title but ''Starring Role'' is kinda?? too perfect???#To the point where I looked around and I was like#Kinda shocked that there doesn't Seem? to be another fic with the same title?#Which is.........oddly relevantly thematic to this fic actually hahaha#Not to get too exacting about it but the whole thing of Loop feeling replaceable well#It would imply that other someones could do what they do better than them#What an odd refutation. Huh. Weird#Anyway - behind the scenes fun fact!#I actually really love the song Starring Role but I didn't think of it until after writing this#And now that I sing it to myself it's actually kinda perfect what the heck#So that's something to think about as well#Anyway if you're going to listen to it pls listen to the Axiom remix it is The version in my heart <3#The glitches and stutters are perfect.....#And the clock ticking?? Why is this song so ISaT I'm gonna think about this for a while now heck#Animatic in my head shower thought -core lol
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a girl i went to high school with is on holiday to the US at the moment, and she recently posted a photo of her in front of the White House, smiling. I can't stop thinking about it, because my first thought seeing it was "what is there to smile about?"
#the UK the US and Australia recently bombed Yemen if you dont know.#because of their blockade on shipping routes.#Yemen hasn't killed a single person but these colonialist brutalist white power fantasy countries will truly do anything except stop israel#idk#i think about palestine when i wake up#when i eat#when i shower#when i drink water#i dont know how someone can smile in front of the white house right now#what on earth does it mean to you that you can still smile
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wait,, in the lightning thief it was established that hades visited olympus on the winter solstice since it was the darkest day of the year and all the ancient/evil magic stirred, right? but in the titans curse, percy and co visit olympus on the winter solstice but hades isn’t present. it could be a moment of rick just forgetting his previously established world building but i propose that it was hades in mourning as his daughter just died like two days prior so he didn’t want to bother with his family and their bickering
#was this ever explained??#i havent read the books in a while and i was just thinking about that scene in the shower and was like….hades wasnt there???#also to be more specific#the winter solstice is the only day hades COULD visit olympus before he got his throne#i looked on the wiki#so ig hades’s attendance to the winter solstice council isn’t mandatory???#anyways i still stand by my hc#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#the titans curse#the lightning thief#tlt#ttc#hades#percy jackson#bianca di angelo#headcanon#head canon#hc#do i tag this as spoilers??#for show watchers?#i mean. the books have been out for what?? 17 years??#eh idk
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men love to try and tee me up for their next relationship while they’re still dating their current gf and i am never interested. NEVER.
#i don’t even fuck w men like that#mind you i’ve told this man that i am NOT INTERESTED in dating SEVERAL TIMES when he’s asked ab my romantic life#but he’s saying some suspicious ass stuff#like today he was like ‘yeah and it’s hard bc i’m starting have feelings for….this isn’t about anyone in particular….others outside#the relationship. and it’s making me feel guilty’#and i’m like hm. um. okay.#and he’s being weirdly cryptic with me in the way men get when they think they’re being sly ab their feelings for you#😭😭#he’s texting me a bunch lately too like ‘you just really inspire me to be the best version of myself i can be’#and ‘i had a really bad week and i just wanted to thank you for being so kind and funny and awesome’#mind you i didn’t do anything out of ordinary for him#mind you he’s my coworker!!!#i see him every day!!#i’m not stupid idk 😭 you complain ab your gf to me and the shower me in praise like pls stop im uncomfortable 😭😭#i’ve already told him i don’t really want this dynamic with a coworker and he kinda just continues and idk what to do anymore!#like we work closely on everything!#he sits directly beside me in the office!#BLAH#cielo rambles!
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kevan the whole way through affc:
#idk why i made this quite honestly i was just thinking about it in the shower for some reason#but it’s one of my favourite things about affc he was SO fucking sick of their shit
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i know trying to decipher the timeline in mxtx novels is always an endeavor that ends in madness, but i can't help it. i can't stop wondering: how old is zhuzhi-lang? and, a related question that might either answer or complicate the first question, how old is tianlang-jun?
demons can live longer than humans, and appearances are deceiving when it comes to guessing their ages, just like it is with the immortal cultivators. zhuzhi-lang is described as looking fifteen or sixteen when tianlang-jun gives him a humanoid form, and as a young man when shen qingqiu sees him later, but that could mean anything
here's the timeline i can piece together:
tianlang-jun's younger sister has an affair with a snake demon and gives birth to zhuzhi-lang. we don't really know how much time passed between zhuzhi-lang's birth and his mother's death and tianlang-jun finding him. we have no idea how much older tianlang-jun is than his sister. they could be a year apart, they could be a decade apart. who knows.
zhuzhi-lang serves tianlang-jun for an undisclosed amount of time, and then they meet su xiyan. that affair goes on for an unknown amount of time but at the very least nine months because uh. you know. pregnancy.
seventeen years pass before shen qingqiu meets him in his snake form because this is shortly after luo binghe is sent into the abyss and he was seventeen at that time. shen qingqiu then meets him in his human form after the five years of corpsezun, when luo binghe is 25
so. let's try to do math while i go insane. putting the rest under the cut because it got long
this is made complicated by us not really knowing how demons age, especially heavenly demons or snake demons. snake demons could reach maturity earlier. heavenly demons could age slower. who the fuck knows. tianlang-jun could've been completely guessing when he gave him a human form that was around fifteen, but zhuzhi-lang seems pretty mature, so he's definitely not younger than that when it comes to maturity. so let's say he really is fifteen when tianlang-jun finds him. I'm going to go with the lowest numbers just to make math simpler. he serves tianlang-jun for a while before they meet su xiyan, let's say at least a year, so he's at least sixteen when they meet her. then let's say the affair with her goes on for at least a year, so he's at least seventeen when luo binghe is born, tianlang-jun is betrayed, su xiyan dies, etc. add 25 years to that, and zhuzhi-lang is at least 42 when he meets shen qingqiu in book two. this is especially funny to me because shen qingqiu is, what, also early forties at this point? if we don't count his five years as a corpse towards his age? so zhuzhi-lang is pretty close in age to him
but then how old is tianlang-jun? again, I'm gonna go with the lowest numbers for the easiest math. let's say zhuzhi-lang's mother was eighteen when she had him, for my own sanity, and let's say tianlang-jun is only a year older than her. presuming zhuzhi-lang really does age like a human, fifteen years pass before tianlang-jun finds him, which would put him at 34. then let's do the same math as before and say he was at least 36 when luo binghe is born, then add 25 years again, he's 61 when we meet him. this is so funny to me. get it grandpa
the alternative is that zhuzhi-lang doesn't age like a human, he ages like a snake, so he's acting like a mature teen but is actually like. two years old because of how snakes age. so then that nudges tianlang-jun's ages down, so he's like 21 when they meet and 23 when luo binghe is born, then 48 when he shows up in the main plot. this is still funny to me
there's not really an answer i can think of that isn't insane. i think I've probably thought about this more than mxtx has at this point. I'm mostly just amused thinking about how, in terms of maturity at least, zhuzhi-lang is close in age with shen qingqiu and significantly older than luo binghe
#svsss#zhuzhi lang#tianlang jun#does my math make sense?? have other people thought about this???#this timeline is so deeply confusing when you think about it for too long#tlj certainly acts like a young man when he and sxy are courting#but that easily could just be an act bc he's Like That#the idea of him being older than sixty is so wild to me#but also the idea of him only being like two years older than zzl in chronological time is also wild#idk which option is weirder#based on this math then zzl and mbj are around the same age#at least presuming mbj and sqh are around the age#and sqh was a late teen/young adult when tlj's sealing happened#god. this is giving me a headache. i need to take a shower and get ready for the day
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You lay there silently, carefully studying the languid strides of his thickly fingers delicately tapping amongst the nightstands wooden surface. A subtle tick Suguru normally does when there is something on his mind.
You adjust your head amongst your pillow, one hand still comfortably nestled beneath the fluff material holding your head. Your other slowly reaching out to meet his.
Suguru absentmindedly stares out into the dimly lit room, anxious fingers still tapping restlessly as he catches your smaller digits reach for his, from the corner of his lidded eyes. He smiles softly, halting his tapping, as he meets your reach half way, tenderly interlocking his rugged fingers with yours in a careful manner. Enjoying the comforting warmth and embrace your smaller hand brings to him.
Your eyes slowly drift up to meet his, sharing a bashful smile as your hands fully interlace with one another. A searing heat of blood gradually blooming into your cheeks, feeling his inquisitive eyes linger onto you a lot longer then expected, and his expansive hand easily consuming over yours with such grounding protection and yearning endearment.
The soft intimacy the two of you shared, igniting that familiar warmth dwelling within the both of yours beings, with such arising anticipation and all-consuming love. A moment you both wanted to share and last for so much longer.
#idk why i'm thinking about soft finger intimacy but i thought this was sooo cute! especially when it comes to him!#been thinking about this the entire day!#imagined just the two of you are on an adjoined mission that lasted for 3 days and you guys got a hotel to rest in...#you've been endlessly exorcising curses all day and you're completely drained so you take a shower and lay on the hotels bed...#Suguru tells you to rest and he'll stay up for a bit to 'keep an eye out' for any more nuisance curses...#(when in all honesty...he just wants to stay up and watch over you...to make sure you get plenty of rest...to admire you)#and then BAM! this scene imminently comes to play! <333#ugh he's such a lovesick cutie!!#and not a single soul in this fandom can tell me otherwise! <333#SUGURU MY LOVEEE YOU DESERVE THE WORLD!!!#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru#jjk
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The Deca itself amazes me, but its fandom is on a whole other level. We have one canon source material (and a few other mentions scattered throughout the Whoniverse), but the fans have managed to tinker with it so much that fanon is actually more popular than canon and more wildly accepted. And I love y'all for it
#doctor who eu#the deca#i don't think there's any mention on the book about Millennia having blue hair? not as far as i recall#and yet everyone agrees that she has blue hair#this little corner of the doctor who fandom is absolutely incredible. my favorite little corner#this post came to me while i was in the shower planning on how i'm going to write my next deca fic#it's been about TWO WHOLE YEARS since i had the idea but i can't pick the right beginning for the story#i think i have a good one now. but i haven't made a lot of progress#is the who tops my one hit wonder? lmao#(not a hit but it's the story i'm most proud of so)#but seriously i have been a deca enjoyer for years ever since i found it which was like in 2014 i think? idk#and i only read the book a few years later and i was like.... “oh. so we made up all the cool stuff about them”#divided loyalties is a good book actually but the fandom made the deca more fun let's all be honest
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also every time I talk about “clean” and “dirty” products, I get people like “clean beauty is a scam”, which is so. You’re getting caught up on the KEYWORD. We’re not talking about brands using the word Clean on their label and charging $50 for moisturizer. I’m not talking abt buzzword Clean, I’m talking about Risk Of Harm type Clean. It’s legitimately helpful to be able to check your, idk, conditioner, and not only see what’s in it, but actually understand the ingredients. You can get so much info. Like, is this ingredient classified as dirty because it’s a skin irritant? Or because it’s an endocrine disruptor? Or because it’s a known and proven carcinogen? Like, beauty and hygiene products can have so much Shit in them, it doesn’t hurt to check. Also, maybe this is just bc I’m nosy, but I like getting all the info. Like you can get so much shit on A Single Ingredient. I just pulled one up at random, that is in a conditioner I’ve used before.
It gives you so much info right off the bat. How this ingredient would be more likely to cause harm/irritation in sprays or powders that can be inhaled or ingested. What it is for (a preservative). What it does NOT do (does not cause cancer, does not trigger allergies, etc), what it CAN do, and what are other names for it that you might find on a label. Like idk! I think it’s interesting! We’re just out here learning stuff! It’s not supposed to Scare you, it’s supposed to help you make Informed Decisions abt what goes in and on your body. What you should be scared of is the stuff in Head & Shoulders.
#I picked this ingredient specifically bc it's NOT rated highly on the Potential Harm scale also.#it just CAN be harmful. but what's important is that you know about it.#sergle.txt#long post#like idk man I just think it's kind of fun#and it's good for my peace of mind#also I used to get hives almost every time I took a shower#bc I used to use just the most. like. just whatever we picked in the aisle at the store. for shampoo/conditioner/bodywash#and you assume that like. it's in a store so it can't be bad for me#well first of all yes it can#second of all there are some ingredients that are more likely to be allergens than others#and my ass just avoids those allergens. and now I'm ok!
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While the line “without the internet we never would have met” from Dan and Phil’s hit single The Internet Is Here was originally meant to refer only to how the youtubers’ relationship started, after over a decade of being a cultural phenomenon, it could be analyzed also from the perspective of their audience discovering the two of them, as well as getting to meet each other and creating a religious cult also known as “the phandom”. In this essay i will
#when i was thinking about this post in the shower it was way more deep and about how the internet made dnp meet#but also allowed us to meet them and each other and create a community and friendships and stuff#but then it became this so idk anymore#dan and phil#phan
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