#idk I researched their songs so I wouldn’t be Lost

[shewantsitall]

First MLS game tonight and I am so beyond pumped about it ✨⚽️🎉

[uhohwhathaveidone]

hiiii! I don’t know if you do song requests, if not ignore this <3 but if so, what if cardigan by taylor swift but it’s the reader and sebastian’s relationship! like they’re together having fun, but then anne gets worse and he falls deeper into the dark magic. the reader sees this and sides with ominis, so sebastian ignores the reader and essentially ends the relationship. maybe he comes back to them asking for forgiveness, maybe not idk up to, my dear! thank youuu!

"You drew stars around my scars" and now I'm sobbing.

Cardigan (S.S)

Hey Hey so this request seemed like the perfect match with "Here with Me" and I used that as the base of this fic, and made it a part 2! I hope you're okay with that! A rundown, reader and Sebastian are childhood bestfriends who eventually confess to each other, and the story continues here! And yes, this song makes me cry a bit it's so good. Anyway this is obviously another Hurt/Comfort fic, and there are mentions of blood and a near death for the dramatic flair. Anyway, I'm off to write another fic, I'll see you soon!

A few months after confessing to each other, and the lost hope that Reprifors would be the key to helping Anne, you and Sebastian were still searching for a cure, together now. You went through every charm and spell in the books available to you, and the weekends you used to share for bonding and hanging out had begun to turn into more research sessions, and you noticed how Sebastian had become more absorbed into helping Anne, and it felt like you were going back in time to when he would avoid you. But he wasn’t avoiding you to get away from you, he promised that he wouldn’t hide away from you. But Anne was only getting worse, and you were back to square one.

You sat with Ominis, going over the lessons you shared that day, when you brought up your concerns. Ominis had noticed that Sebastian was missing a lot, and that he wasn’t just avoiding you. You furrowed your brow as you turned the page, lost in thought as to what Sebastian was doing. Sebastian, on the other hand, was sneaking around the restricted section of the library, searching for a book he had seen the night before. He evaded the wandering ghosts and the librarian, reaching for the bookshelf. He breathed out a small breath, the book grasped in his hands. Quickly, he made his way out of the library, and headed to an abandoned room, closing the door quietly behind him. Opening the book, his eyes grew dark, tracing the words on the pages and muttering to himself, the pages seemingly oozing with dark magic.

Sebastian didn’t join you and Ominis for supper, which caused you to worry. You excused yourself and walked the halls, searching for any sign of the brunette. You came across Poppy, who had been walking opposite you with a book about Hippogriffs in her hand. “Hey, Poppy!” You greeted, walking over to her. Poppy smiled at you, closing the book. “Hey! What are you up to?” You explained to her that you were searching for Sebastian, who didn’t show up to supper. Poppy furrowed her brow as she thought back to when she last saw him, “I’m pretty sure I watched him walk into one of the forbidden room up the hall, but I’m not sure which one.” You thanked her and began walking down the hall, checking different rooms for Sebastian. When you made it to the third door, you creaked it open slowly, the sound of someone muttering on the other side making you cautious. You opened it wide enough to pass through and closed it quietly. Sebastian sat in the center of the room, book in one hand and wand in the other, talking to himself. You took a step forward, trying to figure out what it was you were looking at. The cover of the book looked like the ones from the restricted section of the library, and you could see a green haze faintly wrapped around the book and up Sebastian’s arm. Your eyes widened as you realized what the book was about, and quickly made your way to the center of the room with Sebastian.

“Sebastian, what on Earth are you doing?” You questioned, standing in front of him, horror painting your face. Sebastian broke from his trance, slightly confused as he looked up at you. “What are you doing here?” He asked, closing the book, and standing up, fixing his robes. You looked at him in disbelief, “What am I doing here? What are you doing?” You asked, trying to be calm. Sebastian looked down at the book and back up at you, still puzzled. “I might have found a way to actually help Anne. It’s our last hope!” He defended himself, slightly angry that you would even question his methods. You raised both eyebrows and frowned, “Our last hope? Sebastian, that’s Dark Magic!” Sebastian shook his head as he headed for the door, “Be quiet, no one was supposed to know. Now, come on, we have to go.” You stood there, shocked at his blatant disregard for the way he was going about things, staring at the back of his head. Sebastian stood at the door, waiting to hear you walk up behind him. “Let’s go.”

You spoke to Ominis about what you had witnessed, and Ominis’ face fell in concern and worry. “This isn’t good, does he know what could happen if he’s caught?” You shook your head, dropping into an empty chair in front of the fire. “What do we do?” You asked, rubbing your temples. Ominis thought hard, trying to find the best way to go about getting Sebastian to stop. “Bring him here, we need to talk to him.” You did just that, making your way to Sebastian, who just walked into the common room. “Sebastian,” You started. “We need to talk.”

“Sebastian, you know the dangers of Dark Magic! You could be expelled!” Ominis said, moving a chair to sit in front of Sebastian, who only scoffed in response. “You could go to Azkaban!” You chimed in, pleading with Sebastian to listen. He raised an eyebrow, glaring at the two of you. “It’s the only way. Nothing else works. You understand that, yeah?” Ominis shook his head, standing up and pacing. “I can’t stand by you in this situation. It’s wrong and dangerous.” Sebastian stared at you now, waiting for your response. You couldn’t speak, unsure what to say. Sebastian took your silence as an answer, and stood up, walking out of the commons. “I have to stop him, who knows what he’ll do.” You said, getting up from your seat and chasing after him.

You followed him to the lake and walked onto the dock. “Sebastian, you have to understand. We-“ “it’s like I don’t even know you! You were always ready to help Anne, but now you won’t?” He interrupted you, eyes dark as he paced around. You furrowed your brows, “I do! But this just isn’t the way to go!” Sebastian glared daggers at you, and you realized that what you said just placed you on Ominis’ side. “Do you even care anymore?” He shouted, gesturing around. You nodded, “I do care! But it’s wrong! Do you know what those kinds of spells could do to someone?” Sebastian scoffed, “Of course I do! I’ve been reading through them for weeks now!” You felt tears prick at your eyes, trying to fight them back, you continued. “I only want what’s best for you, Sebastian.” You said, quietly. Sebastian had his back to you, staring into the depths of the lake. He looked over his shoulder at you, before moving to leave. You tried to follow him, stopping in your tracks as you heard him mutter, “Maybe the best thing for me is for you to leave.”

You froze, watching Sebastian as he walked away, not turning back. You couldn’t stop the tears falling from your eyes as his words played in your head. You had just lost the person you cared for the most; you felt your body shake with sobs as you slowly dropped to the ground. Maybe you were wrong. Perhaps it was the only way to save Anne. But it was still wrong, right? You sat there for a long time, looking into the lakes as your tears dropped and made ripples on its surface. After all you went through, from meeting as kids to Anne being cursed, from finally expressing your feelings and still working on a way to help her, it was all over. The sky grew dark as time passed, your eyes stung from the cold that the night brought, and your cheeks were stained. Ominis had left the commons after an hour or so, noticing that only Sebastian had come back. He found you, arms wrapped around your legs as you sat at the edge of the dock, and sat next to you. You sobbed harder this time, trying to tell Ominis what had happened. He tried his best to comfort you, promising that the two of you would find a way to bring him back. He knew just how much you were going through, having been there the whole time you were battling those original feelings. After a while, the two of you walked back to the castle and back to your house, and you trudged up to your dorm.

Weeks had passed, and Sebastian didn’t even utter a word to you. You began to feel like you were the bad guy, the one who was in the wrong. You beat yourself up over it, silently. You refused to do anything that wasn’t on your schedule, and only ate a little before returning to your dorm to read through your schoolbooks. Ominis had begun to worry about you, seeing how you were becoming like a ghost in the castle. You didn’t participate in class anymore, sitting alone and quietly doing your work, distancing yourself away from everyone. You opened your charms book, flipping through the pages to reach the healing spells, taking out a quill to continue your study. You needed to find a way to help Anne, one that didn’t include dark magic, and had hoped that you could tweak the spells to have more of an impact.  You told yourself that everything you were doing was best for everyone, and began to believe that you were the cause of all of this.

That night when you woke up in the middle of the night, going downstairs to get a drink, the noises you heard. That was Mr. Sallow’s house being raided, and Anne being cursed. If you had done something then, instead of heading back to bed, Anne wouldn’t be in agony all the time. Maybe, instead, you would be the one cursed, and Sebastian would have his sister back. That mentality broke you even more, and you began to not care what you did as long as it got you closer to a safer cure, even if that meant spending the hours you should have been sleeping to study, skipping meals to grab a new book to look through, even not paying attention in most of your classes just to work on your own formula.

Ominis began to scold Sebastian, telling him that what he was doing was wrong, and how he was incredibly rude to you. Sebastian would only brush him off, muttering “It’s for Anne.” Ominis’ concern for you had begun to increase when he watched you in potions, barely grabbing the right ingredient for you potion and placing it into the cauldron. Some days, you wouldn’t even show up to the dining hall, and he had to sneak food out for you and try to get you to eat. He mentioned this to Sebastian, who stayed quiet about the matter. He kept looking into Dark Magic to find a way to help his sister, but he was met with one dead-end after the other. He began to believe that, maybe, the Dark Arts would not help him. But if that wasn’t the way to go, then what was?

Sebastian walked into the greenhouse, taking his seat next to Ominis. He looked around, noticing that you hadn’t shown up yet, and frowned. His gut was telling him that it was his fault that you had secluded yourself from everyone. It wasn’t his gut that old him that, of course, Ominis had made that fairly clear to Sebastian after the first week, but he was too absorbed in the Dark Arts to really care. But now, after he still hadn’t found what he was looking for, he slowly stopped looking at the books, and had put all but one back. It was as if a fog had been living in his mind, as he started to recognize faces and voices again.

Later that day, while Sebastian was walking down the dirt path to the creature pen, he was discussing with Ominis how he felt after the whole ordeal, breathing in the fresh air, and enjoying the breeze. Ominis shook his head, “We tried to tell you, Sebastian. It does things to people.” Sebastian looked down and furrowed his brows, while Ominis continued. “They were right, you know.” Sebastian looked up, confused. “They told you that it was dangerous. What would have happened if you were put away?” Sebastian thought hard about the question, Anne’s face appearing. “I wouldn’t be able to see Anne ever again.” He whispered. Ominis nodded, stepping over a rock. “Exactly, we only wanted you to be safe, and still able to see your sister. It was never about anything else.”

The two had made it to the pen, looking for the professor. Poppy’s small figure ran past them and to one of the gates, yelling at a group of students that had gathered around it. Sebastian couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, and moved closer. Poppy’s voice was stressed as she told the boys to leave the creatures alone; they were poking their wands in and prodding the small creatures in the head, aggravating them. “Stop it!” Poppy yelled, grabbing the sleeve of one of the boys. Another figure rushed by Sebastian, and he recognized it, you. You walked up behind Poppy, glaring at the boys. “You heard her, leave them alone.” You said, your face void of any emotion but anger and annoyance. The leader of the group scoffed, shoving his wand into the pen again. He looked up at you, grinning. “What are you going to do about it, hm?” You narrowed your gaze as you grabbed Poppy, moving her away from the pen and the boy and placed her behind you. In the corner of your eye, you saw the small creature grab hold of the wand with its sharp, needle like claws, and began to climb up it. The boy didn’t notice and pulled his wand back up and tried to point it at you. He was met with the angry chittering of the creature on the tip of his wand, ready to pounce on his face. Panicking, he threw his wand at you, and you tried to grab the little fellow before he hit the ground. Frightened and angry, not knowing that you didn’t mean it any harm, it lashed out and scratched at your neck and hands, leaving a bunch of thin, deep cuts all over. You hissed in pain but kept your composure as you held the creature gently, leaning over the pen to place it back on the ground to be with his group. You picked up the wand and handed it back to the boy, who stared in horror and guilt and blood started to soak your collar and sleeves. “Don’t do it again.” You said, glaring into his eyes. He nodded and ran off with his friends.

You heard Poppy gasp and move to stand in front of you, eyes wide as she saw all the cuts you had received. “You’re bleeding!” She shouted, snapping Sebastian out of his trance and rushing over with Ominis. The professor was already rushing over, walking over only to see the boy throw the creature at you. You shrugged in response, twitching slightly at the pain. “You need to go to the infirmary now! Those cuts on your neck look deep, you could bleed out.” The professor said, looking at the wounds to see just how bad they were. You nodded slightly, wincing as you began to walk up the hill again. The professor looked worried and looked over at Sebastian and Ominis. “I’m afraid they wont make it to the infirmary alone, can one of you go with them?” They asked, and Sebastian quickly nodded and raced after you.

“Wait! Let me help you.” Sebastian shouted as he hurried to your side. You shrugged him off and tried to walk faster, staggering a bit. You pressed a hand to your neck, noticing that it hadn’t stopped bleeding, nor did the cuts on your arms. Sebastian kept following you, desperate to get you to the infirmary as soon as possible. “I don’t need any help.” You said, narrowing your gaze at the castle, which began to get blurry. “But you do need help! You’re bleeding out!” Sebastian tried to reason, becoming frustrated at your stubbornness. Was he like this too, when you tried to talk him out of using the Dark Arts?  “I can help myself. Now go away.” You kept walking, blinking away at the blur that had begun to take over your vision. Sebastian ran ahead of you, unsure what to do. He couldn’t stop you; you would bleed out as he tried to explain himself, but if you kept refusing his help, who knows how far you’d get before dropping to the ground. “Look, I’m sorry, for everything.” He started, trying to grab your arm and drag you to the door. You kept your gaze narrowed, not responding. “You were right, I shouldn’t have looked into the books! I thought it was the only way to help Anne, but it wasn’t. I realized that you were looking out for me, and Ominis and Anne. I didn’t care what happened if I got caught, I wasn’t thinking. But you were!” He pleaded with you as he continued to pull you to the doors, your foot dragging behind you and your breathing becoming ragged. He had no choice but to pick you up, whether you wanted his help or not. Lifting you up, he began to quickly walk to the door. “I’m so sorry. You were right about the magic changing people, I have no idea what I was thinking. It was selfish of me to do something like that, and even more selfish of me to say those things to you.” He pushed his shoulder into the door, walking through and down the hall. “I never meant to hurt you, I swear. It was dumb of me to think that you didn’t want to help Anne, I’m sorry.” Tears swelled in his eyes as he hurried down another hall, the infirmary near the end. “I swear, I will make it up to you. I will never let you down again.”

He slammed open the door and shouted into the room for help. A nurse was by his side immediately, guiding him to a bed to put you in. She checked you over quickly, noting that you were still conscious, barely. Sebastian watched anxiously as she ran to grab bandages and ointments, placing them on a tray and grabbing her wand. She used a simple spell to stop the bleeding, but couldn’t close up your wounds. She grabbed the ointment and a cotton pad, dabbing the substances onto your cuts. You hissed in pain, the evident alcohol mixed in the solution burning like hot lava. She asked Sebastian to hold your arm still so she could do the same there, and he grabbed your forearm in one and hand in the other, holding your sleeve up and squeezing your hand. Once again you hissed in pain, watching as the magical ointment bubbled and snuck into the open cuts. Afterwards, she wrapped you up, giving you a final check and handing you some of the ointment and bandages for when you needed them. You thanked her and walked out with Sebastian.

“You’re going to need help dressing those wounds.” Sebastian said matter-of-factly. A small smile tugged at your lips as you scoffed. “I suppose they are. Guess I’ll ask Ominis to help me out.” “Oh, come on!” You turned to Sebastian, seriousness now taking over your smile. “Did you mean what you said?” Sebastian looked down, remembering how you had been conscious the whole time he was rambling. “Yes. Of course.” You nodded, grabbing his sleeve and walking off to the common room. “You’ll have to redeem yourself; you know.” Sebastian nodded and smiled as he walked with you.

With the help of Ominis, you helped Sebastian get over what hold the Dark Arts had on him, and he returned to being himself, the same one you had loved for lord knows how long. You showed him the theories you had come up with and how you wanted to try to tweak the spells to make them stronger, and Sebastian began to find hope again. Two weeks later, he brought you back to the lake where he left you, the bright sun shining down on the two of them. “I hope you can forgive me, for everything.” He said, looking out at the water. You hummed in response, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I love you too.” “I didn’t even get to say it!” “I knew what you meant.”

[e-vay]

Evay QA Bulk Post 1

I’m working through my inbox but don’t want to drown y’all’s feed in my asks so I’m grouping as many together as I can. Q&A below:

MISC SONIC ASKS

Thank you so very much! I was trying to really combine both Amy and Sonic’s aesthetics. Amy is classy and design oriented so I wanted to keep that feel, but I wanted to show how their home would evolve once she and Sonic start living together. Sonic’s never canonically had a house, but he travels so much that I headcanon that he’s constantly collecting trinkets and souvenirs from all the places he’s visited. So I wanted to give them a very “worldly” design style. If you’re familiar with Uncharted 4, I picture Sonic and Amy’s house being very much like Nate and Elena’s beach house.

I love interior design and architecture but I’m not great at drawing it (yet). Once I improve I want to do a full layout of their house for my stories (and the future Shadora Fortress).

I really enjoyed the movies and I’m excited for the third! I hope they give Shadow a voice that’s deep and delicious and doesn’t sound like a sniveling villain. I don’t like it when they cast him with a very generic evil voice, I prefer it when he’s got depth. Honestly I’d be happy if they stuck with Ian Hanlin, he’s perfect to me. 

For the record, I absolutely love that game. Some of my favorite memories involve me and my best friend playing it. He ABSOLUTELY is an avid gun collector. I love seeing the memes of Shadow just rambling off about gun details. BUT HE KEEPS THAT CRAP LOCKED UP IN A SAFE AND UNLOADED AT ALL TIMES!!!!

At least for my stories he isn’t one to actually threaten to harm anybody for wanting to date his kids. He dealt with that enough trying to be with Aurora. But you can bet he won’t think anybody’s worthy to date his kids lol

First of all, I am ALWAYS down for Sonic singing his feelings. Like that is my #1 favorite thing in every story. Whenever he breaks out the guitar/lute I’m like “HELL YEAH LET’S DO THIS”

Secondly, that SONG omg!!! I’d never heard it before but wow 😭 I couldn’t love it more. I completely agree and thank you so much for sharing with me!

That is so funny that you say that. It was not my intention to make human Sonic look like RCS but honestly he is my favorite Sonic at this point so maybe it came out subliminally! Also I think Roger is just so damn handsome so I will take that as a compliment lol! 

SHIPPING ASKS

I do ship them but I don’t know about them having kids. I don’t really know those characters well enough to write family members for them and I wouldn’t want to do it wrong. Thank you!

I’m fine with any of your ships as long as it’s not with relatives. And as long as you keep my characters “in character” then that’s fine. 

Interesting! 🤔 I haven’t heard that pairing before but hey I’m certainly not going to tell you that you can’t ship them together. 

I loved Amy the minute I saw her so just from a superficial level I was like “These two are too cute together!” But I really fell in love with them when their story evolved and we got to see their dynamism in the games outside of just a cute little pink sprite in Sonic CD. And Sonic X really sealed the deal haha So many romantic moments between them in that show, God bless. 

Sonic and Amy were just making out, not anything more. Orbot and Cubot aren’t accustomed to seeing that so that’s why they reacted that way. 

I don’t have any plans on that at the moment. I like that universe and I especially loved how Sonic acted around her in it, but idk if I’ll make a comic about it. But I can never say never!

PERSONAL ASKS

I’m sorry to have worried you, but honestly I was okay while I was away. I went through a lot of major life events and I had lost my drawing mojo and was fighting to get it back. But now it’s back with a vengeance!

I plan on doing both. I know several amazing parents who do a wonderful job raising their kids and still follow their passion.

Thank you so much! I’m self-taught, but I’ve researched a lot of tutorials and references to help me improve over my life. The number one thing people need to study if they want to do comics or animations or anything is ANATOMY! You don’t have to take an anatomy class (I didn’t), but look up references and tutorials to learn how the spine works, how the muscles work, proportions, etc. Even if your characters don’t fall into the typical human form, you still need to understand skeletal structure and muscles. 

I’m not an avid listener but I do like some if her songs :)

I’m in the process of assembling that. There’s a lot so it’s taking time lol 

WILL YOU CONTINUE HHNF?

Yes I’m going to continue HHNF

AURORA ASKS

Thank you! Yes that’s pretty accurate. Their family is all about honesty and telling the truth, but younger Aurora doesn’t like to share all the details with Sonic because he’s so reactive with her and will quickly try to fix whatever the problem is and Aurora wants to learn to fix it herself. Amy is more willing to just listen to Aurora and offer advice if Aurora asks for it. Amy WANTS to beat up whoever is upsetting her daughter but she also knows the importance of learning how to fight for yourself so she wants Aurora to feel empowered to do that. 

Thank you! I hope you’re having a great day too! I think Amy is better at TALKING through feelings and Sonic’s better at the overall cheering up way of handling things. So as long as there’s nothing terribly awful bothering Aurora and she’s just feeling a little down, he’ll find ways to make her laugh. Sometimes that means walking in unexpectedly in a costume to shock her or dragging her out of the room to have a musical jam session together. 

Sonic’s also known to give people flowers when they’re sad in canon (he does this regularly in the games and in Sonic X), so he’ll bring her bright, colorful flowers to make her smile. 

In my AU, Eggman has already kind of peaked by the time of Boom!Baby. He’s softened a lot and isn’t interested so much in world domination as he just wants attention lol. Having Sage and becoming a father further helped me justify that with my AU. 

He's also particularly sentimental towards Aurora since he helped deliver her, so he doesn’t really fight the team anymore. He is more like a constant pain in their sides mucking things up. 

Sonic team is busy fighting other, newer foes in my AU.

Their biggest challenge is going to be the Time Travel comic that I haven’t completed yet. It’s hardest because not only will lives be put on the line, but it also touches on trust and when to let go. I’m sorry I can’t give you a more detailed answer yet but I don’t want to spoil the plot! And thank you so much! 

MISC ASKS RELATED TO MY AU

Yes I just need to draw them. There are so many dang Sonic characters hahaha

It’s VERY important to Aurora for her parents to give their blessing, so Shadow will honor that and ask them for it. I already know how and when he’s going to do it, but I can’t spoil it for you yet! 😉

They’ve had three litters. I headcanon that back in the day hedgehogs used to have litters (2 or more kids) all the time but that became less and less common in modern day. But I also headcanon that as the Ultimate Lifeform, Shadow was engineered to be able to… multiply effectively. So even though they’ve only been pregnant 3 times, they keep having triplets or twins. 

I do consider the First Kiss comic canon to my AU. But it happened a while before My Gal, maybe like a year or so before. Give them time to stew on that kiss hehehe

They just wanted to make a life change. The stars just happened to align at the same time haha

All the kids’ names are supposed to be based on their personalities or powers. Most Sonic characters are named that way, so I don’t know if it’s canon for Mobian parents to sense what their kid’s powers will be or not. Aurora has dreams that sometimes give her premonitions so she had inklings to what their kids might be like so she and Shadow could brainstorm ideas based on that. Also a lot of their names are outer-space-related or at least outer-space-adjacent and that was because Shadow’s a space man lol So he had influence in that. 

Sonic wants all his descendants named Sonic II so he’s no help lol. 

Thanks, I’m happy you like it! 

There are 3 litters. The first litter has the triplets Piper, Zane and Nova. The second litter was born almost a year and a half later and has the twins Aster and Blitz. The third litter was immediately after and that has the triplets Cinder, Diamond and Boon. All this information is listed in their character reference post. 

In the beginning the family mostly just stuck to ordering online and getting home deliveries lol. But if they do have to do a grocery store run it’s a full family event. The kids all ride on Shadow (see this post). Their house has two fridges to accommodate for all the mouths to feed!

Their life certainly isn’t boring anymore 😂 It’s exhausting but they’re happy (also there are 8 kids haha!)

Thank you so much, it’s good to be back!

Aurora definitely would have asked him about this, but at least in my stories Sonic became an orphan at a young age and I don’t have him with any siblings. 

I’ve had another person ask me who I picture Sonic’s parents as and I do plan on drawing a reference of them, but they’ll be unique to my stories. They won’t be from any other Sonic media. 

I don’t draw Aleena, Manic and Sonia because of a couple reasons. I never watched Sonic Underground so I don’t have the allegiance/nostalgia that a lot of people have to that show. Also for my own preference, I don’t like the idea of Sonic being born to royalty. It doesn’t suit him, in my opinion. That doesn’t mean I don’t respect people who have that as a part of their canon and it doesn’t mean I have any bad feelings towards the Underground characters. I just don’t draw them. I grew up on the games and later Sonic X and Sonic Boom so my stories revolve around what I know. 

It’s funny that you mention that ship because I only just learned about it from Starrjoy’s P!AU comic. Again I didn’t watch Sonic Underground so I don’t know who Bernadette is, but sure I’m down for Sonic having two moms. Families come in all shapes and sizes, so as long as they’re a loving parent or parents then I support it. 

They love all their grandkids and they love spending time with them, but I think in their older age Sonic and Amy go off on more adventures again. They never stopped adventuring, but they settled down a bit while raising Aurora. Now they’re relishing a second wind and they’re frequently going on worldly explorations.  

But they always make sure to attend any events the kids are involved with and are always home on Sundays for family dinner. Sunday night is dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s! <— I have them always having dinner at their house on Sundays even before Aurora and Shadow have kids

To be honest, I never felt like they needed more. I had a comic where they discussed it hypothetically, but they’re content with just having the one kid. (Don’t worry, just because they’re not having kids does NOT mean they aren’t… active 😈 They’re very VERY much so!). I am okay with fan stories where people give Aurora siblings and there’s a fic I’m reading right now that involves Sonic and Amy having a whoopsie baby way late in life and adult Aurora is having to deal with that and I love it lol. But just for my own writing, it’s a single-child household. 

–

Thank you all for the questions!

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[defilerwyrm]

I went back through your asks tag a bit and didn't see anything about this--very sorry if you've answered it before!

I'm less than a year on t, and it's been helping a ton so far; my mental health has improved drastically since changes started happening. But I'm also nervous because originally my plan was to just go on until I got some of the permanent changes, like the voice drop, and then go back off to avoid too much lower atrophy, but after seeing the improvement in my quality of life I'm realizing that going off t is probably a bad idea for me. The idea of any of the less-permanent changes reverting makes me feel sick

I'm not sure how long you've been on t but it seems like it's been a while, and I know you've gotten bottom surgery which changes things, but I was wondering what your experience was with atrophy in general? My doc mentioned that they're happy to give me estrogen cream if needed, but I've heard mixed things on how well it works. I've already noticed some stuff like (sorry, tmi) I can't piss as forcefully anymore. I've done some research but most of the people I've seen talking about it are pretty early transition (or... less than 5 years at least?), and I'm more worried about the long term

I'm not against the idea of getting bottom surgeries and a hysto to prevent atrophy cramps, I *am* dysphoric about my natal junk, but I'm already gonna be in deep financial shit trying to afford top surgery which is a lot more urgent to me, so realistically it's not gonna happen

idk, any advice? Sorry for the rambling

Also I didn't realize you were the one who wrote love songs for monsters - that shit changed me when I read it all those years ago. Thanks for doing what you do

I typed up an answer to this, tagged it, clicked the post button, and my wifi shat the bed. When I was finally able to reconnect, Tumblr refreshed and I lost everything. T___T

Sorry this took so long to reply to! Using a cut for my own TMI

I lucked out and didn’t really have any appreciable amount of atrophy. It made my groin less of a horrid swamp disaster zone, but I still wouldn’t have called it “dry.”

I do have a bit of keloiding in my urethra so whereas I used to be able to empty a full bladder in 12 seconds flat, now it’s about a minute and a half. Not painful, at least.

Estrogen cream is a topical hormone, not a systemic one, so it shouldn’t interfere much at all with your HRT. I think it’s worth a try if your atrophy is bothering you.

But yeah, if you end up getting phalloplasty (or metoidioplasty) with urethral lengthening, that’s done alongside a vaginectomy, at which point the whole atrophy problem ceases to be an issue.

Also thank you!! I have an abiding affection for those little stories and it’s always so pleasing to hear that someone enjoyed them. :D

[monako-jinn-stories]

Jinn I had an idea and your my only writer friend

Ok so wildest dreams by Taylor swift ❤️ “say you’ll remember me …. “ you know that part of it and it’s like a clone x reader and I like when it’s sad the the reader is dying idk maybe they got shot and like that’s what they say to whatever clone s/o and it’s sad

Or I feel like any Taylor song I love Taylor

There is a new scenario to imagine if your sad and want to say sad ‼️ and you can listen to a song too !!!

Oh my god thank you so much for this ask. At first, I had no idea what to do, but then I had an idea and RAN WITH IT. I ended up crying while writing this (maybe because it’s monthly time🤷‍♀️) but either way, this hurt me, and I hope you enjoy it and cry😂

Kix X Fem!Jedi Reader

Say You’ll Remember Me

Master List

Warnings:

Angst, fluff (kind of), character death

Kix hadn’t known what he was truly asking when he asked you to help him research Fives’s discovery. He never truly believed the Kaminoans with what happened to Fives and Tup, and he’d had enough of their lies. You both had.

“I think I found something,” Kix said as he looked through the information on the datapad. You quickly made your way over, leaning over so that your face was next to his as you held his shoulders, looking at the holoscreen.

“Right here. It says something about a biochip…”

“Biochip? Wait, I think Fives said something about that,” you said while straightening up. “He said it was like…something to control you.”

“It says here…oh, Maker! Y/n, it’s worse than we thought! It’s not just about framing everyone!”

“What? What does it say?” You looked at him as his hands shook slightly.

“It says that with a specific order from the chancellor, the clones could all be made to kill the Jedi without hesitation…” He looked up at you then, a fearful look in his eyes. “I could kill you…”

“No, Kix, it won’t come to that. We can find out how to get it out. We will get it out, I promise,” you said while gently taking his hands.

“What did I do to deserve a woman like you?” He said before standing and wrapping his arms around you, his hand running through your hair. You both tilted your heads to connect your lips in a sweet kiss.

“Come on, let’s go. We need to find out where we can get this chip out without being questioned.”

“What about Kamino?”

“No, that’s too dangerous. We might be able to sneak onto a Venator while it’s in the hangar, but I wouldn’t count on it.”

“Let’s get out of this town,” Kix said, “if someone finds out what we’re doing and what we know, it’ll be the end for us.”

“I agree. I already don’t like being on a separatist planet.”

You led the way out of the building, heading back across the town where your ship was stationed. Everything was going good for you today, which was strange. It didn’t feel right. You glanced back at Kix as you walked, him giving you a small smile as he caught your eye. You loved him more than you felt like you could express, but you always tried your best.

As you made your way through the town, you started to sense people following you. You suddenly stopped and pulled Kix in for a kiss. He was slightly caught off guard but quickly returned it.

“We’re being followed,” you mumbled onto his lips before pulling back to gaze lovingly at him.

“So you weren’t just kissing me for the hells of it?” He asked, quirking a brow at you while smirking. You rolled your eyes at him before turning to walk again, your hand grasping his tightly.

“So, we going to fight?” He mumbled as you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Mmm, if they attack us first,” you reply quietly.

As you approached your ship, you slowed again, eyeing it before taking a cautious step onto the ramp.

“Run!” You yelled, pushing him back with the force as you jumped away. A second later, the shuttle blew up and the people who had been trailing you came out of the trees.

“What should we do with the girl? She wasn’t mentioned before!” One of the attackers shouted.

“Kill her, she’s not who Dooku wants. Keep the clone alive!” Another shouted back.

Kix saw the end as it began. They surrounded you, got between you and him. He couldn’t do anything to help as they overpowered you, knocking your lightsaber from your hand. All he could do was yell as he ran back to you, watching your saber roll away from you. He shot at your attackers, causing them to fall limply to the ground.

When he reached you, his throat let out a pained sound as he saw the blaster shots riddling your form. Your normally red lips and rosy cheeks were now pale as the life drained slowly from you.

“Y/n! You’re going to be okay!” He said frantically, reaching out to grab you and pull you to him.

“Say you’ll remember me…” you breathed out raggedly, weak fingers grasping at his armor.

“N-no, y/n! I won’t have to remember, because you’ll be with me! You’re going to live!” He pleaded as tears streamed down his face. “I-I just need to get you to a new ship, then we can fly you to a medcenter!”

“Kix, please…” you said, a hand moving to cup his cheek.

“No! No no no! Y/n, I’ve lost so many, I can’t lose you too!” His hands were in your hair as he held you, fingers tangling as he tried to gain control of his mind so that he could think. He needed to save you.

“Kix, listen to me. I have a request.”

“What, y/n? I’ll do anything!”

“My last request is…stare at the sunset with me, one last time. Just like we do every night. Just the two of us.”

Kix’s glossy eyes stared at you as if you were the craziest person, but he slowly moved to the side and pulled you into him. The colors in the sky danced around happily, as if this wasn’t the end of everything for Kix. As if your body in his arms wasn’t becoming heavier by the second. The beautiful colors were taunting him. And he couldn’t find the usual peace that came with them.

“Say you’ll see me again, Kix. Even if it’s just in your wildest dreams,” you whispered, moving your head to gaze into his eyes. He looked down at you and more tears fell, some falling onto your cheeks. He held your cheek softly and bent down, pressing his forehead to yours in a keldabe kiss.

“Even if it’s just in your wildest dreams…”

“I will…I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, Kix.”

After those softly spoken words, he felt you go completely limp in his arms. He finally let out proper sobs, clutching your body to his chest as if the force of his love could bring you back. His own body trembled in emotional pain that hurt so much it was almost physical pain.

His sobs covered up the sounds of more attackers approaching. They caught him off guard, ripping him away from you. He screamed as they threw your body carelessly aside, dragging him to their ship.

They took him somewhere, Kix didn’t know where. Didn’t care where. He was numb, broken. He just wanted you back.

They interrogated him, but nothing worked. He wouldn’t talk. They couldn’t bribe him because he’d already lost the most important thing to him…you. When they shoved him into the cryo-pod, he didn’t resist.

~~~

The galaxy was different, it wasn’t like it was during the clone wars. It was lonely. All his brothers were gone, dead. And so were you.

But there was one place he could always go to see you, whenever he wanted.

It was in his wildest dreams that he always remembered you.

Tag List! Read this Tag List info if you want to be added! @imabeautifulbutterfly @lightning-wolffe @namesmox @maulscrosshair @tacticalsparkles @milppa @techssexythighs @ilikemymendarkandfictional @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @megafrost4 @darkangel4121 @hedahobbit98 @shuttlelauncher81 @rintheemolion @sleepy-tog

[grayeyedandroid]

Tag 10 people you want to know better

thank you for the tag @thane-emblem !! :)

Relationship status: single! I just went through a pretty horrible breakup so I don’t see that changing any time soon. I’m just really happy to have the friends I have right now :)

Favourite colour: blue-grey and pastel pink !!

Favourite food: oh this is a hard one…. food as in a singular food item I’d say grapes (particularly green, but red is fine). for food as in a meal, I’d say soup :)

Song stuck in your head: 600 pillows by Ben & Alfie

Last thing you googled: ‘is grey a color?’ <—- yes this was for the color question. I vaguely remember being told that white and black are not technically colors but shades, and I was curious what that meant for grey. The answer I got was not at all conclusive. Some say grey is a color and others say it’s not. Thank you, internet

Time: about 7:40 pm as of writing this

Dream trip: I haven’t had the chance to travel much, so pretty much anywhere that I haven’t yet been.

Last book you read: technically reread, but Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I had to stay at the hospital overnight, and being the overpacker I am, I brought four books. I ended up reading and completing three of the books (so, really didn’t actually overpack as much as I thought).

Last book you enjoyed reading: Good Omens :). The situation I was in while reading it wasn’t exactly great, but it still was a pleasant read and great distraction.

Last book you hated reading: Bonobo and the Atheist by Frans de Waal. I wouldn’t exactly say I hated reading this book, but I would say it wasn’t a read I particularly enjoyed. I read it for research purposes for an anthropology paper I was writing at the time. I’ve read some other books written by Frans de Waal, and I didn’t have any problems with them. This book just fell flat for me for whatever reason.

Bonus:

Favourite thing to cook/bake: I really enjoy baking :). With all the allergies and food sensitivities I have, it can be really hard to find something to bake that I can eat myself (body doesn’t like flour and I’m allergic to all the substitutes 😎). So, I tend to bake for others when I do. Challah is definitely one of my favorites :).

Favourite craft to do in your spare time: hmm…. I wouldn’t say I do things that are considered crafts?? I do a lot of art and writing but I’m not sure if that’s what this question is asking about. I do really enjoy sewing, even if I’m not that good at it and don’t do it often. I like making smaller things, like plushies or pillows.

Most niche dislike: candy corn. hate it. hate it with a burning passion

Opinion on circus(es) now and in history: uh!! idk. I, don’t think I have enough information to adequately answer this question?????

Do you have a sense of direction and if not what is the worst way you ever got lost: absolutely zero sense of direction. none. i will get lost in a completely familiar area. there is no place that is immune to my complete lack of a sense of direction. the only exception is driving. for some, odd, odd reason, I can sense where I am if I’m in a car. however, if I’m not in a car? completely lost. zero idea where I am: ever. I once got lost in a parking lot trying to find my car (I had just gotten out of my car…….)

Tagging: @wlwlaurenelizabeth @hellfire371 @rose-coloured-angel @skeletonwormz @danceintheskies @nymphbus (if I tagged u you’re probably either an irl friend, mutual, or someone I tend to see in my notifications :))

[the-silentium]

Folded messages

Masterlist

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Words: 4900 words

Warnings: TUA season 1 and 2 spoilers, swearing.

Requested by: Anon

Hello!! I just recently read you 11 Five fic and I have to say it was incredible. I have no words to describe it, your writing is so good💖💖 with that, I was wondering if you did fics based on songs, if you do, would you mind doing a 5xreader based on “sway with me” by Micheal Buble? Idk what the plot could be, maybe they are in a mission from commission and have to go to a fancy ballroom. Maybe they are enemies. Maybe reader pulls him to dance around S2. The choices are endless, go crazy :”)

A/N: Finally I found time to write! I've had insomnia for too long because I couldn't write! Damn day job! 

On a better note, I really hope you guys like this little piece of fluff 💜 I swear, this started as a small idea and then it just got bigger and bigger. Sorry not sorry!

Was it even possible? The prospect of falling in love for someone of his nature was almost as high as his targets' survival rate. He wasn't an emotional man, his feelings were deeply buried in the depth of his heavily guarded heart, locked away in a three inches thick chest that was itself hidden in an impossible maze where traumas and demons were furiously protecting the paths. 

Add this to the fact that he never saw her, not even once, the only proof of her existence being the small animals made of colorful folded paper that appears in his jacket pockets whenever he crossed her path, the possibilities of developing such feelings were in no way probable. The origami aside, the woman seemingly took pleasure in throwing wrenches into his work. He was asked to assassinate a brilliant inventor who was getting too close to discovering the secrets of time-traveling? It would have been an easy job if it wasn’t that every single bullet he had in his possession suddenly disappeared, forcing him to finish the job with his knife. 

There was another time, he was tasked with the termination of a group of people meeting in the back of a bar, his guns were loaded, his knives were sharpened, he was full of juice, there was no way that this job would take more than one minute and forty-three seconds. He made his way to the door leading to the room hosting his targets when he noticed a small dark purple llama on the door handle. He pocketed the folded piece of paper for later and tried the handle to find out that it wouldn't even turn on itself. The assassin rolled his eyes at the futile attempt to keep him from completing his mission, he closed his hands into fists but his ability decided to fail at this right moment.

The door behind him closed on a loud banging noise, a delicate click following closely behind, indicating that the door was locked from the other side. Five remembers it clear as day, the moment he knew he had found his equal. He heard you giggling lightly on the other side of the door and his heart started speeding up. Not in anger, not in annoyance nor in embarrassment. He couldn't say what it was, but he knew for sure that he wanted more of it. 

It happened four times, you making his job more challenging and him receiving a small gift before Five decided to do some research. In a box carefully concealed under the double bottom of his drawer were stored every paper animal he found during his missions along with books about origami and colors. 

An olive green and lavender cat, a dark blue dragon, an orange fish and a dark purple llama were now aligned on his desk in order of acquisition. The different books were opened on different pages and then Five started his information gathering. He scribbled in his notebook the different significance associated to each color and animal and an hour and a half later, he was contemplating his findings. 

The cat was a symbol of independence and mystery among other things. Its olive-green body with the patches of lavender told him that the first gift was, in fact, a peace offering from a feminine person. Her very own olive branch that he took long enough to decipher. 

Then there was the dragon, symbol of power, wisdom, mastery and success. The dark shade of blue told him that the dragon was full of knowledge, power and seriousness. He frowned, thinking and slightly hoping that maybe this was how she saw him. 

He didn't know what to think of the orange fish. Happiness, freedom and energy. He couldn't relate to this one, having not been free for many years now as stipulated by his contract with the Commission. He was a slave, used for his ability and his will to do everything to survive one more day and save his family from their imminent doom. 

Maybe the fish was a reference to yourself. This was the only explanation he could find. You were a young adult from what he deduced of your giggles and were pretty happy and free if the folded paper was anything to go by. 

The last gift proved that Five's theory stipulating that every origami was a metaphor about yourself and himself was correct. 

A dark purple llama. An animal representing hard work, endurance under difficult situations and responsibility. His heart accelerated at the possibility that you knew that he was trying to buy some time and betray his employer sooner than later. Would you rat him out? He really hoped that the olive cat meant that you were on his side and not against him, he would really hate to put an end to the warm feeling dancing in his chest whenever he realized that you were around and ready to play a trick on him. 

Now if he followed your logic, the next one he will receive will say more about yourself and he couldn't wait to be assigned to another mission so that he had a chance to learn more about you or even possibly see you. You, his little time traveler. Five had thought about this for the longest of time and he came to the conclusion that you were indeed a time traveler. The Commission kept very close control over their briefcase so there was no way that you had one in your possession, he would know, after all, he checked the lost briefcases records and they were all reported destroyed. 

To his dismay, his next mission was uneventful. He got in and got out. No hiccup, no paper animal. Nothing. It went like this for his next six missions and with every passing success, Five found himself getting irritated. Every night he found himself chasing your shadow in his dreams and every time you managed to evade his attempts at catching you. One morning when even his first coffee of the day wasn't enough to ease his frustration, he thought of a plan that would allow him to finally see you. 

To avoid making his kills personal, Five always prioritized a long-range way to kill, meaning with guns. Guns had a way to remove all responsibilities off his shoulder and lighten his soul at the end of the day. He had enough demons consuming more and more of his conscience on a daily basis, he definitely could do without this kind of remorse. Sure, he was the one who pulled the trigger, but ultimately, it was the bullet that killed the target, not his hands. 

But tonight, Five decided that he would complete his mission with the idea that you were around. If you were, then he would finally meet you. If not, he would need something strong to accompany his coffee. Whiskey maybe. 

He abandoned his prized sniper in the deserted building next to the one his target was currently dancing in and made his way to a back door. There he space-jumped inside the building and quickly blended himself with the crowd. He found himself straightening his suit in the case you were around and made his way to the bar. 

A glass of whiskey in hand, Five turned his back to the counter and analyzed the crowd in search of his wealthy bastard who was enjoying his very last evening on this Earth. There he was, dancing around, totally unconcerned of the people around him. 

Unconsciously, Five reached into his pockets where the gifts usually appeared out of thin air, his fingers searching around as they did a hundred times before but ultimately finding nothing. With a frustrated groan, Five grabbed his glass, emptied its content in one gulp, smashed the glass back on the counter and pushed his way to his target. Another night without your little schemes meaning another night chasing your shadow in his sleep. If this was how the night would unfold, then he wanted to finish this quickly. 

Five's hand reached for his target, grabbed a hold of his upper arm and pulled him in a nearby hallway before jumping the both of them in the nearby abandoned building where his weapons were patiently waiting for him. 

Five turned around to face his target, knife in hand and ready to strike when his breath caught in his throat and every muscle in his body contracted, stopping every movement. Where his prey stood mere milliseconds ago was now an elegant woman in a beautiful gown, all smile and giggling at his reaction. He knew it was you the second he heard your giggles, causing his heart to skip a beat and his fingers to let go of the sharp weapon. 

He stopped himself from moving a stray strand of hair behind your ear, instead choosing to release his grip on your arm and take a step away. You were too beautiful, so much more beautiful than what he imagined, with your shining eyes, your soft-looking hair, your perfectly curved body, he tried to burn every detail into his memory. 

"Dance with me?" You asked, closing the distance and reaching for his hand. Your movement got him out of his thoughts and everything came back full force. The mischievous glint into your eyes caused a smirk to form on his lips.

"You just want to keep me from my job." And you were doing a magnificent job at it.

"Is it working?" You batted your eyelashes in an innocent way, making Five roll his eyes before he positioned your hands correctly and pull your body so that you were almost touching each other. 

You smiled in satisfaction, following his steps flawlessly on a tempo only he could hear. The blue-eyed man enjoyed the silent minute, savoring the feeling of your soft skin cradled into his palm and the warmth of your waist radiating through the fabric under his opposite hand. The comfortable silence was soon replaced by a soft song playing in the background, stopping Five in his tracks and almost causing you to fall if it wasn’t for his strong arms keeping you up and close. 

Five eyes finally left your face and widened at the new scenery surrounding him. The once dusty floor was now pristine and exempt of all the trash and needles that were once lingering around, the tagged walls were perfectly painted in a new shade of light grey, giving the room a nice glow under the gleam of the light strings hanging from the ceiling. 

Five didn’t know his mouth had opened in awe before you chuckled and your hand left his shoulder to caress his chin, effectively causing him to close it. 

"I take it that you like it?" Your eyes were shining under the soft lights and the pride he saw in them almost got a smile out of him.

"You made this?" He was still stunned about the complete makeover of the room. Even the lingering moldy smell disappeared, letting a pleasant smell floating around in its place. 

"You’re not the first one the Commission took a liking to, ya know. I’m kinda like an illusionist, but my stuff is the real deal. They saw my potential and offered me a job, which I refused and they’ve been on my tail ever since." You shrugged, replacing your hand at its rightful place on his shoulder. 

Five was truly amazed by the woman standing in front of him. Her ability had so many possibilities and she managed to escape the Commission for seemingly a long time. Add this to the fact that she can time-travel and play tricks on the best assassin this planet has ever seen, Five has never been so interested in someone like that before, not even Dolores who has been his everything for many years. 

"I can see why they were interested in you." He resumed his dancing, this time following the rhythm of the soft music playing around them. "Having two abilities is pretty rare."

You shook your head, before clarifying. "I only have one. I don't know where you get the second one from." You frowned in confusion, which reflected on his own face. 

"But you time-travel." He remembered finding the folded fish in the 1800s, the dragon around the 1950s and today was September 23th, 1987.

"Yeah, the same way as you. With a briefcase." You nodded toward the black briefcase neatly placed near the window. Five only got more and more confused. 

"But they were all dest-" He cut himself at your cheeky grin. "You created your very own. Impressive."

"Thank you." You were beaming at that point and Five felt proud that he was the source of your happiness. 

The slow song ended but neither of you stopped moving your feet in unison. Five was enjoying himself like never before and he wasn't in a hurry to end it. The corner of his lips quirked upward when he realized that you pressed yourself against him when the song ended, your way of saying that you didn't want this to end either. 

You silently danced the second song in its entirety, living every second like everything would disappear at any moment. Five was scared that this was a one night deal and that he would never see you again. Why did you reveal yourself tonight of any other night? 

Before he gathered the courage to ask you, the song reached its end and a completely different kind of music floated in the air. 

When marimba rhythms start to play

Dance with me, make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore

Hold me close, sway me more

Five pulled away slightly, not much, only to be able to see the sheepish smile on your lips. "I love this song." Was your only answer to his frowned brows. 

Five laughed softly before stepping away and made you spin. He pulled you back to him, your melodious laugh bouncing around him like the greatest melody ever written. 

Like a flower bending in the breeze

Bend with me, sway with ease

When we dance you have a way with me

Stay with me, sway with me

It was clear that neither of you knew how to dance on this song, but you didn't care. You were both moving around freely, Five making you spin from time to time. 

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Only you have that magic technique

When we sway I go weak

Five's heart was beating quickly, not because of the physical exercise, he was trained to accomplish way more than dancing without breaking a sweat, but because the sight of your delighted face stroked something deep within himself. A primal need. The need of a life partner. Someone who he could trust blindly and love without holding back. 

I can hear the sounds of violins

Long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how

Sway me smooth, sway me now

A too-quick step made you trip on your own feet, in an attempt to keep you on your feet Five reached for your arms but it was already too late. Instead of helping, Five only unbalanced you more leading you to fall to the ground and drag the man with you. Thanks to his sharp reflexes, Five caught himself on his forearms before he crushed your small form under his larger one. 

When marimba rhythms start to play

Dance with me, make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore

Hold me close, sway me more

For a moment the assassin's heart stopped in fear. He hasn't felt afraid in years and it definitely wasn't a feeling he had missed. Your laugh flicked a switch in his heart, making it beat again in an erratic rhythm that he was almost embarrassed of. He guessed that if feeling that good meant that sometimes he was going to be afraid, it wasn't a big deal. He could deal with his fears if at the end of the day you were fine and happy in his arms. 

Like a flower bending in the breeze

Bend with me, sway with ease

When we dance you have a way with me

Stay with me, sway with me

"I'm so sorry Five!" You managed to say after catching your breath. Tears rolled from your eyes and into your hair, the reflection of the lights above creating stars in your eyes. 

"It's fine." Was all he could say, for his brain had stopped working when he realized that only a couple of centimeters separated the two of you. His body started heating up to his dismay, Five pushed on his arms and sit on his heels to help you sit up. 

When marimba rhythms start to play

Hold me close, make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore

Hold me close, sway me more

"Thanks." You muttered while passing a hand through your messy hair. 

The sound of a metallic object falling on the ground made you jump. Five frowned, confused as to why the Commission would send him another assignment right now and not wait until his return. 

"What was that?" You whispered. 

"My employer." He was beyond annoyed by the interruption. They couldn't have chosen a worse time than tonight. 

Offering you a helping hand, Five got up and helped you when your hand closed on his. He couldn't stop himself, he enlaced his fingers through yours, the tightness of your grip made him chuckle. 

"Don't worry, they are not here." He lightly hit the wall near the window with the underside of his fist, searching for a spot on the wall that wasn't hollow. When he found it, he searched for the dissimulated door and took the canister with his name written on it. 

Releasing your hand, Five opened the canister, took the folded paper and read the words. Terminate Y/N L/N. How was he supposed to terminate someone he didn't even know? This job was so frustrating! He folded back the paper, storing it in his pants pocket. This would have to wait. He turned back to you and the sight bring a genuine smile to his lips. 

You were smiling at something outside the window, the light of the moon joined to the string lights gave you an angelic glow. He would have loved to contemplate you longer, but duty called and he now had two targets instead of one. 

"I have to go." He didn't dare say it too loud, maybe time would stop and let him live this perfect night for all eternity. 

You turned around with a small smile on your lips. He could see that you were disappointed even though you nodded like it was nothing. "Well, tonight couldn't go on forever." You walked up to him, with each one of your steps Five felt himself growing weak in the knees. Oh how he didn't want to go. "It's fine. I'll find you again." At that, you tenderly reached for his cheek while your lips pressed a delicate kiss on the other one, stealing his breath. 

You giggled, surely at the blush covering his cheeks and walked away, the illusion fading along with your steps. Just as you were about to walk down the stairs, Five remembered something. 

"Wait! I didn't get your name!" He quickly space-jumped in front of you to block your path. 

"Y/N L/N." Her smile dropped when a dark expression fell on his face. Even if he tried, he couldn’t have repressed it, the surprise and the anger were too much. 

"You have to leave." He didn’t know how they found her, he always made sure he didn’t have any bug on himself before going on a mission. 

"N-not that I wasn’t doing that anyway, but w-why the long face?" His fingers twitched at the waver in your voice. It wasn’t his intention to scare you, even less to scare you off. 

"The Commission knows you’re here. I don't know how, but they know." Five was starting to get tired of them pretty quickly. Maybe one day he would get out of there with explosions resonating through the hallways. Maybe he could use grenades. Yeah, grenades were good. 

You started to walk down the stairs when you stopped and turned to him, one last time. "Be careful."

Five smirked although your concern was touching. "I should be the one telling you that." 

With one last giggle, you walked out of his sight. Five returned to his very first task of the night, took place at his spot by the window and finished the initial job. 

Back at the Commission that night, Five removed his jacket, eager to go to bed and find himself dancing in your arms again to the sound of soft slow music. A sound caught his attention when he threw his jacket on the back of his chair, the sound of crumbling paper. 

His hands searched his pocket, grabbing the grey fox that somehow found its way into his jacket without him noticing. A smile stretched his lips before he carefully slipped the fox under his pillow and went to bed. 

A whole year passed before the next animal appeared in his pocket. As frustrated as he was of being away from you for a whole year, Five knew why this was necessary. The Commission was close on your tail. Apparently, he wasn't the only agent tasked of your termination and some got lucky enough to find your location but not enough to hurt you. 

The whole year he kept tabs on the Commission's information on you and kept worrying that someday he would find a red stamp crossing out your picture.  As of today, his worst nightmare hasn't yet come true, so he pushed his worry aside and continued his job. 

He assembled his sniper, preparing himself to kill the president of the United States in 1963 when something hit him in the head. It didn't hurt or anything, it was light as a leaf. Frowning, Five pulled away from the scope of his weapon to discover a brown frog made of folded paper lying on the ground next to his feet.

Receiving one of your signature gift after all that time caused his heart to skyrocket in his chest. All those feelings he had repressed, fearing that one day you would be gone for good and that he would definitely be alone in this cruel world, came rushing back at full speed, making him drop his gun and look around for you. 

You weren't far, waving at him with a tired smile on your face, dark shadows marking the underside of your eyes. He didn't take the time to run, simply jumping to you and engulfing your body into his arms.

Many times he thought about how much he had fallen for you after only one dancing night and five tricks followed by origamis. If it were someone else, he would have told them that they were being stupidly influenced by their primal urges that forced them to find a partner and procreate, for this was the circle of life since the dawn of time. In his case, he knew it was much more than that. It was more important to him than a need to procreate. He had found his equal, someone that sparked an insatiable interest in him and showed him that there was way more in this life than what he originally knew. 

Five tensed as soon as he heard the first sobs. Immediately he started to scan your body for wounds or blood, anything to show that you were hurt. However, his analysis was cut short by both your hands cradling his cheeks. 

"I'm fine. I'm just real' tired and I'm so happy to see you." Your arms wrapped around his neck forcing Five to hug your body closer. Not that he minded. 

He whispered words of reassurance into your hair while thinking of what to do next. You couldn't keep fleeing the Commission alone, not in your state. They would catch up to you in no time and he couldn't have that. He couldn't say that he killed you to get them off your back, the higher-ups would request physical proof of your death. It only left him with his last resort. He would have liked to find the good variable, but time was against him so he would have to deal with it. 

"I have a plan, don't worry." He dried her tears with his thumb when she lifted her head to look into his eyes. "I'll get us out of here." 

You managed a smile before chuckling. "I know. Why do you think I gave you a brown frog? A frog to ensure a safe return of your journey and brown for home." 

Five shook his head, once again amazed at how perfectly you could read him despite everyone else describing him as unpredictable. 

He grabbed your hands in his, mentally reciting the equation he passed the last 45 years developing. Before the portal appeared, Five stopped everything in a hurry, scaring the shit out of you. He let go of your hands for two seconds, enough time for him to run back at his sniper, grab the brown frog and run back at you. You rolled your eyes when he secured the frog in his jacket pocket, quickly saying that it has sentimental value, before concentrating on the portal again. 

The blue vortex appeared, its power pushing them away. It took every ounce of strength into Five's body to pull you with him through the portal, your weakened state left you helpless in front of the blue resistance. 

Five did his best to catch you during the fall, your body falling directly on top of his, stealing his breath for a moment. 

You managed to roll off of him, allowing him to take a nice bowl of air to fill his lungs. He made it. You weren't 100% safe, but he could have help now. He cou-

"Five." The worry in your voice along with your hand closing tightly on his forearm pushed him to sit up quickly and find the source of the danger. He understood your reaction when his eyes fell on his siblings who looked like hell. 

"You guys didn't change one bit." He deadpanned. His usual unimpressed face was back in service at the gaping fish-like faces of his siblings. 

"We should be the one telling you that. You haven't aged at all!" Klaus yelled, his outstretched arms moving up and down in his direction. 

Confused, Five glanced at his body and realization hit him like a brick. He knew something wasn't right! 

Your repressed giggles caught his attention, he found your 13 years old body, a hand on your mouth desperately trying to keep a full-on laugh in. He couldn't help but notice how much more tired you looked in your younger self. 

"It's not funny." Was all he said before he spacial-jumped the two of you to his old bedroom. There he guided you to the bed where he helped you get under the covers and watched you get comfortable. 

"It is funny." Five scoffed and went to the door, knowing his siblings were gathered behind it and very probably listening to their conversation. He hit the door with his foot and as expected, Klaus yelled in pain, complaining about his hurting ear. 

"I'll be downstairs to talk in a few minutes so get lost." He told them through the door. He was awarded by some angry muttering and finally, fading footsteps. 

He walked back to your side when he was sure that everyone went on their merry way, sitting on the nearby chair with your hand in his. 

"You need to rest. You'll be safe here." He kissed your hand at your tired smile. "I'll stay until you fall asleep, that okay?" You nodded, already your eyelids seemed pretty heavy. 

"I missed you Five."

You were out in less than two minutes, your breathing became deeper and slower, your facial muscles relaxed and your mouth opened slightly allowing Five to hear your even respiration. 

The boy didn't notice exactly when it happened, but the demons were now silent and the traumas shrank in size, forming a clear path toward the center of the maze that was his heart. There, the three inches thick chest that was protecting his feelings was now wide open, strings were delicately wrapped around them, not too tight as to not suffocate them, but with just enough contact so that he could permanently feel her affection enveloping him.  

"I missed you too."

[A/N] This passed SO close to having an angsty ending! So close! I figured you guys had enough angst with 11 already… and the part 2 that's coming next. 

[iotiamohd]

@iotiamo follow for follow? <3

Schrödinger’s Leak

We’re extremely sorry to say: this is fake. We made it because we’re agents of chaos  to prove that it was possible to do something like this in two days. It took a lot of work at the sacrifice of our sanity, but we did it, and filmed on a phone like the original leak was, it could pass off as real. (Look through this blog if you want to see the ugly truth of the HD version.)

The problem is...we were originally doing this to prove that the leak was real, because “no way someone would do this in two day, especially without getting paid”, and instead not only we realized it’s possible, but we’re left with more doubts than before. Keep on reading if you’re interested in what we (didn’t) find out, and what we did to put this together. 

We could have posted this a bit earlier, but we didn’t want to distract from the #SomethingToSay campaign.

IO TI AMO

Guys. Guys, we wish we could explain the sheer amount of things Vittorio Guerrieri, Cas’ voice actor, has been in. This man is in every anime dub ever, it’s impressive—we knew finding that specific “Io ti amo” was a losing battle, but we still tried. 

Oh, God, did we try. We went through English scripts of all the rom-coms he’s dubbed; compared that to the Italian subtitles of those same movies, looked for working links to stream the Italian dub and check if the “I love you”s we found were the right one....brain cells were lost. Progress was not made. 

We settled on using the one in Marley & I (lmao), that Owen Wilson’s character says to the dog  to his wife. It’s even better than the one in the leak, in our humble opinion, @ og leaker, suck our collective dicks.

Pictured here: Owen Wilson confessing his undying love for Dean Winchester (as he should).

ANCHE IO

The closest match we had is Dean's Anch'io, (me too).

Although it wasn't a Supernatural "exclusive" line, we decided to search within the original scripts and look for an Italian corrispondance. We found it.

2x20 [9.54] - What Is And What Should Never Be It not only was a perfect match in terms of sounds, but after analyzing the file with Audacity we had no doubt about it. Furthermore, if you overlap the OG leak's "me too" with the one we found, they seem to perfectly fit. 

Listen to the cleaned and compared audios here, and stay tuned for our mixtape, it’s gonna be straight fire. 

Here are the graphs. The “Anche io” from 2x20:

“Anche io” from the leak:

Obviously we didn’t expect them to look the same, considering the differences in audio quality, but they’re still very similar. It was listening to the audios side by side that convinced us. 

...Is this proof that the leak is fake? Idk. Probably yes. But what if it’s a coincidence that they’re so similar? How different could the two graphs for two small words said by the same person possibly be, after all. And what about all the other lines that we couldn’t find a match for? You see now why we’re conflicted. 

CASTIEL

The original idea was to go through every. single. time. Dean says “Castiel” in the Italian dub, hoping to find a perfect match for the one in the leak. We figured every other line could have been taken from the voice actors’ older works (both Castiel’s and Dean’s are very popular here in Italy, and their voices have appeared in...everything, basically)—but that “Castiel” had to come form Supernatural. 

We didn’t find it. We went through a lot of the episodes with Castiel in them, the ones with more emotional scenes first, and found nothing...we ended up getting distracted by the search for Mi dispiace, Dean, when we realized that also had to come from Supernatural. We settled on using the first close match we thought of: the scene in 09x01 where Dean is praying in the hospital’s chapel. 

This is not the “Castiel” used in the leak, so we can’t prove that it’s a recycled line stoled from an older episode of the Italian dub. For all we now, Stefano recorded it for 15x18. 

“Castiel” from 09x01:

“Castiel” from the leak:

Does this prove anything, considering how bad the audio quality of the leak is? We wouldn’t get the same exact graph even if it was the same snippet of audio. (By the way, when we started this we thought that Dean had rarely said Castiel’s name like that in the dub. We’d forgotten than Italian!Dean never calls him Cas, the asshole.)

The same problem remains: did the leaker find some obscure anime episode where Guerrieri says Io ti amo and used it to dub Castiel, or is this all very real, and that’s why we couldn’t find it anywhere? We don’t know, we just don’t know. 

MI DISPIACE, DEAN

Apart from the very wistful "Castiel..." right before Dean gets chucked on the ground (lol get rekt), the other line that came without a doubt from Supernatural is "Mi dispiace, Dean."

I'm sorry, Dean, a sentence that Cas doesn't say that often throughout the show: we checked the English scripts, and we found only three instances where it happens (we only have up until season 13 dubbed in Italian, so if he ever says it in the remaining two seasons, it certainly doesn't have an Italian version). 

5x22 - Swan Song: Cas says it, and it's very obviously not the one in the leak. The tone is completely different. 6x22 - Meet the new boss: again, close but no cigar. 7x01 - Reading is fundamental: at first we thought it was the exact same one, and that's why this particular Mi dispiace, Dean is the one you can hear in our fake leak. After checking with Audacity, the one in the episode and the one in the og leak don't correspond. It's just the closest we could find. 

So...? What does this mean? We don't know. It's very possible that Italian!Castiel does say Mi dispiace, Dean somewhere in another episode, straying away from the original English script, but without transcriptions of the Italian dub available online, we had no idea where to start. 

It's also possible that the leak is real, and that's why we found no doubles for this line. 

Also: we've seen people in various posts about the leak saying that the change from "Goodbye, Dean" to "I'm sorry, Dean" is suspicious. It's not uncommon to change lines if it means lipsinking them better, and considering what was happening in the scene, it's not out of place to have Cas apologize to Dean. It wouldn't sound weird to someone who has never watched the original episode. 

But, there's another argument to make...Cas has never said goodbye, Dean in older episodes (as far as we could find), and the og leaker was forced to use the next best thing they could find in the Italian dub. 

THAT MONITOR...THAT DAMNED MONITOR...

That monitor in the leak looked so sus at first. Is it normal for professional studios to use equipment older than some people on this hell site?

Apparently yes. 

We've found a bunch of photos of voice actors in front of the screen they use at work, and they all look like that. Dusty. 

These pictures also confirmed that the punctuation in the frame rate changes—sometimes it's all :, sometimes it's all ; (like in the case of the OG leak), sometimes it's mixed. Once again, we can't prove anything one way or another.

This is a pic from 2009 of Davide Chevalier, Sam's voice actor, and the framerate looks different from the one in the leak...then again, it's from 2009. What does it mean? What does it all mean?

FINAL CRIES FOR HELP

If you know more than us, please tell us:

Did we read the Audacity graphs correctly? Do they prove/disprove anything that we didn’t mention?

Does the framerate make any sense? Are we being bamboozled?

Do you have any insight on whether or not season 15 is already been dubbed? We know that season 14 will go on air in bundles of three episodes starting from the 12th of December, so it’s not crazy to think season 15 is already in the works.

Was this worth it? Was any of this worth it? We slept very few hours last night. 

tl;dr: in conclusion, we CAN’T affirm with absolute certainty if the Italian leak is fake or not, since we have evidences leading both way. Sadly, the final word will be when the episode will actually air next year.

IRTF - Internet Research Italian Rogue Task Force

[icharchivist]

this is actually bewildering how despite how little my mom and i manage to talk or connect with one another, when our interests end up crossing it end up crossing in the most bonkers way possible.

anyway under cut mention of ob//ey me and huh. Discussion of religions that probably qualify as heresy and probably would upset very religious people. (??? i’m not really sure but just in case.) consider yourself warned i guess?

Anyway this post have another degree off hilarity if you follow me for long enough to know about my mom and similar situations before.

As i mentioned, don’t get along with her, bad emotional bagage yadayadayada, but she is the reason i ended up caring this much about history and how much we overread and discuss on some topics, especially those concerning the Bi//ble and stuff. (disclaimer: she’s je//wish, my father insisted on giving me a ca//tholic education, but my mom always insisted on some readings and stuff, and idk what i am nowadays but neither my mom and i are religious if it makes sense, but we did study the topic in depth.)

but i am a fiction person first, though when a fiction i like is based on some historical stuff i often end up digging there.

Which led to bonkers situation in the past where, say, when i was obsessed  over d//gm was the time my mom kept watching stuff about APOCRYPHS like YEAH SURE. Then dr//agon age, turNS OUT it was when my mom was watching documentaries about templars ALL THE TIME. THEN when i got obsessed with g//bf because of Percival, it was when my mom was OBSESSED about Arthurian documentaries and i would often walk in the living to hear her go through those. And, ofc, religionwise, the fact my mom has a fascination with the Sumerians and the Arcadians, and have been studying and watching about Canaan and its culture for years, which also coincide with the time period i was deep into w///mtsb. Canaan being the place most myth around Lucifer, or as he was called, Helel Ben Shahar, originated from Canaanite religions (esp Ugarit’s), and is also the place that saw the importance of Ba’al ie Beelzebub grow before the hebraic religion took hold of it. Basically the long story short is that a lot of the mythos found in the To//rah is inspired by the myths from those regions that were lost to the time and it’s often why the deity from those regions are now the names of popular demons.  (if you’re into g///bf : ofc Lucifer and Bubs should be a telling, Sahar is Lucio as you know, Canaan was the place Lucifer lived in.)

aND LET ME BE CLEAR this is COMPLETELY accidental, i never talk to her about stuff i like (she doesn’t listen anyway), and when she ends up discussing those with me i’m already in an hyperfixation that match accidentally. idk how we have THIS as a timing OUT OF ANYTHING ELSE.

This is like. My normal life okay. Anyway it’s actually not unusual for us to discuss Canaan’s mythos when we see each other, since well we both made researches about it, let’s go. “Canaan is actually the most common discussion topic i have with my mom that isn’t tainted by personal trauma” top ten bewildering sentence but that’s my life let’s go.

Another important piece of setting, we were eating at a restaurent (my country banned the possibility to go on restaurent without a proof you’re vaccinated so we were safe just so it’s clear)

So, we were at dinner discussing Canaan on my birthday LIKE ONE DOES, and look. I at least AM prepared for my mom to go on tangente about Beelzebub. While it came out of nowhere, i am not surprised my mom started to talk about the inspiration behind Satan in the middle of the dinner.

what i didn’t expect was her suddenly going “and of course here we have Asmodé. Do you know who Asmodé is?”

me, stupid: “this is awfully familiar why do i know who Asmodé is. Well if it’s linked to Canaan his name must have become one of a demon so i must know an Asmo---”

and suddenly i froze. and i started laughing. like a fucking moron.

Meanwhile my mom “well you know Asmodé actually was the king of said country who-”

“Who opposed King Solomon yeah? yeah. yeah i know.”

“Exactly, so you know who is Asmodé.”

and then i bursted into laughing and i had to explain to my mom about the fucking dating app. I had to explain it to my mom. 

“I didn’t recognize Asmodé right away because i’m used to his english name, Asmodeus. And yeah i know him he called me this morning on my fucking app to wish me a happy birthday.”

at least it made my mom laugh as well.

I mentioned to her who were the seven brothers and i love. That when i said “and ofc Belphegor and Beelzebub”

My mom still unaware: “ oh yeah!! the two who are based on Baal! Baal Phégor and Baal-Zebub who are based on the same divinity and why those two demons were associated with the cult of Baal.”

Me still holding a laughter “yeah they’re twins in game.”

My mom: “AS THEY SHOULD BE.”

My mom NEVER listens to me talk about the fiction i like unless it’s connected to something she likes like that (bc then it means she can go “since it’s like that in your fiction DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS-” and tangente back on the legends and stuff)

Anyway so the thing is that we went deeper into this conversation, as one does, so we talked in depth, as usual, about Satan, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, L I K E O N E D O ES. 

And halfway through the mean i suddenly realized that the people on the table next to us, who i noticed were speaking english to start with though they understood french just fine, had been looking at us awkwardly for a long time. The woman especially was looking at me very weirdly.

It took me a few minutes to realize that they probably overheard us talk about demons the entire time and that i totally mentioned to my mom “so i have this dating app where i can date Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor”, a totally fucking normal conversation. That i don’t know if they understood everything we were saying bc we talk so fucking fast to start with, and also the fact i worry bc while it’s ofc you can run into religious french people, english speaking people tend to be more religious and in my experience? know much more demon names than the average french religious person. SO THIS WAS AWKARD.

SO. What the fuck do i even do with this. What the fuck do i even DO WITH ALL OF THIS.

And like i said i’m actually used about us talking about Canaan and i legit wouldn’t have connected the dots if she just talked about Beelzebub, i’m used to him, it’s Satan that destabilized me because my mom brought him up when we were talking about Seth, the Egyptian god (and the irony that Mankind is the “descendant of Seth” by the To//rah, and we were talking about how Seth (Egyptian) was associated to “Baal” and then my mom so proudly went “and then, because of that, Set, known also as Sutek => Satan” and i had to keep a sTRAIGHT FACE as if my first thought wasn’t “yes the guy i want to kiss all the time, continue.”) and then it’s  Asmodeus that made me lose my damn shit, and i’m also realizing the absolute irony that i was listening to the ob//ey me songs while coming to join my mom for dinner to start with. 

I was totally prepared about a conversation about Canaan, that’s my mom’s hyperfixation let’s say. I didn’t expect that it’d come with “sudden realization that just like those others times where our interests crossed, this is happening again over this dating app i play with”

I legit don’t know what to say more i’ve been laughing none stop since i came back home. My normal i guess.

[bisluthq]

It’s your kaylor historian here who still can’t remember my log in details to my KH account 🤦‍♀️ (so please make sure this anon just in case it isn’t... I fear them 👀)

Karlie’s tea post before masters heist:

Ok so I can’t remember who posted first and don’t feel like looking, but taylor posted a selfie and captioned it “Friday calmness” and we (kaylor fandom) had been speculating taylor was going to come out as bi on the last day of June / 🌈pride month🌈 since she’d been doing so much stuff that could be seen (and was) as queer coded. We celebrated the “Friday calmness” thinking it was like a ‘calm before the storm’ with the storm being her coming out.

I think Karlie posted after taylor, but am not 100% sure. Karlie posted a selfie with a cup with a caption like “what’s the tea” and the fandom, thinking they were still together, collectively lost our shit. It looked to us like Karlie was playing off Taylor’s post. (I’ll admit, I didn’t think kaylor were still together, but that weekend I was thinking ‘I can’t believe I doubted them!’ Lol)

*there were also rumours that the YNTCD video and single were delayed a couple of times and meant to be released sooner and serve as a soft coming out, but that taylor kept changing her mind about it and is also why she kept the tracklist length under wraps, because she wasn’t sure if she’d go through with it. She was way more vague than ever before. There were also rumours she had a rolling stone cover planned that she was going to come out in but it was scrapped —— I can’t even remember where these “she’s actually coming out” rumours originated anymore and I can’t remember if people had legit sources and gossip or if it was fan fiction planning, but it was mentioned outside the kaylordom too, so take that as you wish.

Then came the masters heist.

Now, to understand the thought process of Kaylors at the time, you have to remember that we thought Karlie & Taylor had a secret romance, Joe was a beard, Josh was a beard - but since he comes from a crime family who have done a lot of bad things (to put it lightly) and are stupidly rich, Josh had Karlie trapped in such a tight contract and has so much blackmail material that Karlie was forced to fake marry him against her will - remember, it was only meant to be a photo shoot for a Vogue wedding spread showing what wedding fashion was available, it wasn’t meant to be a wedding! But josh had his team leak the photos and instead of saying it was all for a photo shoot, Karlie had to say she was now married. <- that was the narrative and thought process within the fandom.

So the fandom thought 🛴 and Josh conspired to announce the purchase of big machine/ taylor’s masters which would derail her coming out plans. The fandom thought Karlie had no idea it was happening. Scooter and Josh were worried Taylor was going to come out, which would ultimately out Karlie since there were so many rumours about Kaylor already, and it would then out Josh and ruin Josh’s image, making it look obvious to everyone that Josh and Karlie were just beards, but kaylor was real. To avoid tarnishing Josh’s hetero card, scooter waited until the end of June to announce he bought taylor’s music for maximum impact.

(Never mind that someone spent $300M to keep a client in the closet) that was how we interpreted the situation (kept writing the fan fiction) and that it was a blow to taylor and a huge betrayal from scooter to Karlie because now they had extra leverage / ways to hurt Karlie.

So yeah. It was a very sad time. This also is why some kaylors think hoax lyrics point to their everlasting love “my best laid plans” = tay ready to come out end of June “your sleight of hand” = scooter tricking Karlie when he bought the masters and any information about taylor that Karlie mentioned innocently was used against them, “my barren land” = taken on a new meaning since Karlie announced her pregnancy, but initially it was seen as the land that was meant to be blooming with love was left barren and empty because of the masters incident delaying her coming out.

It sounds absolutely ludicrous, but the only way to understand how it was easy to rationalise is to understand how adamant the fandom was/ is that Josh and joe are just beards, Karlie is locked in a contract, and taylor is trying to free the both of them. If there were any truth to this at all, it is nothing short of ghastly situation for Karlie and paints taylor as a Nobel warrior trying to save her princess from the tower 🦸🏼‍♀️👸🏼 ....

Karlie had what I think was a scheduled post cause it was ad content , but otherwise was unusually silent on social media for a week + after the announcement. We thought they were grieving together.

——-

Now for Emily Poe. Ok so I really didn’t do my research - I thought Emily was only one or two years older than Taylor, so it never even occurred to me that the idea of that relationship would’ve been extremely predatory and badbadbadbad. I regret not doing my due dillihence when I was part of a fandom that consumed this theory. So Emily theories have been around since Taylor first had gay speculation. Part of this was because of some funny photos like that one where taylor is standing next to a truck that says “...gay Texan” and emily and a guy in the band I can’t think of his name were pointing to taylor and smirking. It’s a funny photo. I can see my dumb teenage self making similar jokes long before I knew my sexuality because LOOOOL GAY was a thing back then. There’s the video taylor made for Emily where she held up the “we love you emily” sign and she went to everyone she toured with including brad paisley to hold up the sign and make heart hands and just be extremely cute - platonic or romantic - both seem plausible - and cute as hell! The video was set to the dashboard confessional song ‘stolen’ which is basically just the lyric “you have stolen my heart” over and over again. This video got renewed interest when people went back and looked back at the you belong with me video. The idea of taylor and her make love interest holding these a4 sheets of paper with “I love you” written on them seemed familiar. The story of how YBWM came about was that Taylor heard her guitarist on the phone with his girlfriend and his gf was yelling at him for something seemingly insignificant/ the gf was painted out as high drama and her guitarist seemed miserable every time he spoke to her for a while. So Taylor had the idea of a song about a girl thinking her friends girlfriend is horrible, but turn it into a love story where the two friends get together - classic romantic comedy trope - she took the idea to Liz Rose and it was one of the last songs written for Fearless and specifically made to be upbeat and preppy because taylor thought the album was lacking that vibe. If you take the story Taylor said inspired the song and swap it from her male guitarist (who she also said she had no feelings for), and change it to her female fiddle player, the story behind the song can be the same, just tweaked to be hetwashed. Emily was a cheerleader and had a boyfriend when she toured with taylor, so it’s easy enough to take those things at surface value and think there was some truth to Emily. Also the two biggest gaylor rumours pre swiftgron came from comments on a gossip site/ forum. One was that ‘Emily was fired after she was caught relieving taylor of stress’ and how ‘emily was interested in law, but this incident cemented she had to leave the band but the swift team gave her money so emily wouldn’t sue for being fired on a sexual harassment issue’ (of course, knowing the age difference, we know this would NOT be the case at all) and it is speculated it inspired taylor to write breathe because she was so sorry for how things ended. They were inseparable and then after her birthday, never seen together or mentioned each other on MySpace again.

The other comment was that taylor ‘was a pillow princess in high school’ and that she was happy to receive but not give because she wanted to maintain her virgin status and thought if she reciprocated it would make her gay — the comment was something like that.

Of course it would’ve been incredibly easy for idk, some random on the internet who has never even met taylor to say those things.... but it was taken as gospel by the gaylor truthers.

People who looked further found a girl they believed was Taylor’s high school gf, her name started with L... but I never really believed it so I don’t have the greatest knowledge of that one. It seemed ridiculous to me she had a 3 year gf as a teenager and not a single person from her high school - or anyone who knew her alleged gf - ever spoke about it publicly??? That would be a lot of NDAs and payouts to keep silent, but a lot of other people believed NDAs and hush money was spent, so yeah... 🤷‍♀️

She also had some fruity MySpace posts which seemed to help the case for gaylor, but imo, it also falls under the ‘teenagers on the internet are dumb especially when social media was brand new and thank god myspace doesn’t exist cause I don’t want to see my old one ever again’ category.

Sorry for the essay, I felt I had been summoned and wanted to give background on the fandom. When I log back in I think I need to change my bio, I’m not really here to talk kaylor , but the fandom. Cause it’s really sad what that narrative within the fandom has become and heartbreaking what that narrative has done to fans, especially queer kids trying to figure themselves out. I couldn’t see how toxic it was for a long time, I’m happy I’m out of there now. but I think it helps to understand how the fandom thought and saw things as to how easy it was for things to spiral to the state it’s in now.

As old T used to sign off, - lovelovelove 💜

Brilliant post thanks KH!

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

I would love if you could write 36 from random with 12 from kisses for a Steven hyde x reader! ❤❤❤❤

Everything is turning gold - Steven Hyde x reader

a\n: i had to do so much research for this. lowkey stan The Rolling Stones now? idk had to listen to some of their songs for this and they were highkey bops.

trigger warnings: cursing

word count: 1155

"hey" I called, entering the Forman basement. As a Forman, I could do that without being sort-of rude. I mean, am I the only one who thinks that coming into my basement to find Kelso and Jackie making out while Steven is at work and Eric is at Donna's is rude?

"you guys have no shame" I sigh. "oh, hi lil' Forman" Kelso smiles. 'it's 5 minutes!" I remind him. "yeah, but 5 second into the next day" Jackie agrees with Kelso. "BURN!" he says, the usual excitement in his voice. "whatever just get out. And stop using my basement as a make out spot" I point at the door. "buzz killer" Jackie says, cold, but her tone switches to ask if we are still on for tomorrow. "sure thing Jackfruit" I reply. "stop calling me that" Jackie whines, but I just laugh. "what? it's a sweet fruit, it's a compliment" I say. "But it's ugly" Jackie says. "it's a fruit!" I reply as I sit down on the chair. "whatever, let's just go Michael" she says, dragging him outside. I turn the TV, and Steven comes down the stairs.

"Hey (y\n)" he says, jumping over the couch to sit. "I wouldn't sit there if I were you, Hyde, Jackie and Kelso were making out on the couch a second ago" I say. He gets up and move to the other chair across from me. "you know what we should do?" he asks, "we should detox the couch by making out there". I laugh as I get up, "Hyde, you are practically my brother" I roll my eyes, "do you want popcorn?". "yes please" he says.

I went upstairs to get popcorn and found Jackie and Kelso making put on the table. "guys, I eat there. Please, do you not have your own furniture to make out on?" I sigh as I take the bag and spill the popcorn into two different bowls. "sorry" Jackie sighs, "ohhh, is that popcorn?". "yeah, and it's not for you" I say as Kelso tries to steal some. "now get the hell out".

I went downstairs to find Hyde was sitting on the chair. I leaned behind him to rest the bowl in his lap, kissing his cheek on the way back up. we were always close like that – hugs, cuddles and the occasional forehead or cheek kiss. We grew up together, him being my brother's best friend, now that he lives with us. He was always protective over me, getting onto fights Eric couldn't win – meaning, physical ones – on my behalf. "that was kind of hot" he admits, and I laugh. "horny teen, that's what you are. A fucking horny teen".

We watch the TV, finishing our popcorn. "oh!" he suddenly remembered something, "I got a the new Rolling Stones single". "and you just let me sit here and watch re-runs?" I say, getting up to go to his room and he follows.

He follows me and gets the album. I lean by his door as he sets the record in the photophone. "and… play" he smiled as the music filled the room. He looked down at the packaging, "it's called Shattered" he said. "quite a danceable beat" I say as the song plays, and push myself off the wall to move around. I offer Steven my hand. "if you tell anyone-" "common, it's the rolling stones, not disco" I said, laughing as he took my hand. We dance along, and when the air guitar comes along Hyde pulls the best Air-guitar I've ever seen.

He takes my hand to spin me around, and our hands stay held for an "outside partner step", meaning my feet went forward and his opposite feet went back. "you're surprisingly good" I laugh, and he spins me around once again. "and I see I'm not the only one your mom thought well" he returns the compliment. We dance, and then the music cuts. "hold on, I think it has a B-side" he says, walking over and flipping the record. Music starts. "yes!" he smiles, and goes back to me, taking my hand.

I don't care if your love grows cold \ Found love in someone else's home \ Don't like standin' in the snow

He was so sweet, dancing with me even though it's not really his thing. I wonder why he agreed, but I will never ask. When I looked at him, I noticed he seemed very focused on the lyrics, so I decide to listen carefully too.

Everything's turning to gold \ Everything's turning to gold \ Everything's turning to gold

Nothing deep there, I see.

You used to know me long ago \ Was so lost and way down low. \ Now that the love juice starts to flow, \ Now that the love juice starts to flow,

Oh.

Everything's turning to gold \ Everything's turning to gold\ Everything's turning, everything's turning \ Everything's turning, everything's turning to gold

I didn't even realize I was cornered to the wall as we moved around until Hyde got a little closer and leaned his hand on the wall. "what are you doing?" I laugh awkwardly. He was close, really close. I could feel his breath and smell the popcorn we ate earlier. The thing is, I talked to Donna about it – how close we are, but she kept insisting he sees me as a sister.

"he's always protecting me" I said. "So does Eric. Remember he punched a guy who whistled at you? Kelso had to jump in and help cause Eric was getting his ass kicked". "well, he always sits next to me with his hand around my shoulder" I insist on believing he might see me as more. "so does Eric. And Kelso. And Fez. Do you think Kelso or Fez have a crush on you?". "no, ew, I hope no. Hyde sometimes kisses my forehead" I remind her, sure I won the argument. "hey sis" Eric says, walking inside Donna's room. He hugs me and kisses my forehead. "hey, so you think you can over for me? I'm spending the night at Donna's".

I'm tired, I'm tired of doing what I'm told. \ Things are moving way too slow.

The music brings me back to reality. "I don't know" Hyde finally says, "but I really want to kiss you". "what's stopping you?" I ask, and with that, he makes the decision to lean in.

The music keeps blasting as my hands travel to his neck to pull him closer. My back is completely leaned on the wall, and Steven hand find my checks to hold.

I got no problems, I got no problems, child. \ It ain't my business, it ain't my business, ain't my style.

"who's a Horney teenager now?" Steven laughs into the kiss. "shut up" I whisper, kissing him.

Now that the love juice starts to flow,

Now that the love juice starts to flow.

taglist: @sadhappywhatever​

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #442

“the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”

Would you ever sell your soul? No. Do you believe that something is going to happen in 2012? Welp, clearly not. I never believed it. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to! When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Uhhh not since I visited Sara, I think. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, for sure. Louder than I should listen to. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No. What’s the last song you heard? "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What are you most likely to do when you’re exhausted; take a nap, drink some coffee, or go for a run to get yourself pumped up again? Naps definitely win. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Mental illness, for sure. What is your favorite month of the year and why? October, bc aesthetic. What’s your least favorite animal? Probably wasps. They're mean fuckers that kill bees. What was your class song when you graduated? Some super shitty country song. Have you ever had to spend the night outside (not camping)? No. What`s the scariest living animal that you`ve petted? A tarantula, I'd say. She was a sweet rose hair that I literally did pet, which you absolutely should not do to tarantulas, but I knew nothing about them at the time. The urticating hairs on their abdomens cause serious itching, and I tell ya, that sure happened. So did you play old school Nintendo or Atari or Sega? If so which one? We had an old Atari for a long time. When/where did you meet your first love? In the hallway, during my sophomore year of high school. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Hm, what qualifies as "regularly," really? I don't like my sister's husband, who I see semi-regularly, but I don't really talk to him. Does your family eat any unique foods for Thanksgiving that aren’t the norm? If so, what are they? Nah, not that I can think of. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? Milk; I don't like it with water. I only eat the apples and cinnamon kind. Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video? If not, what was it of? It's a let's play. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? Yes, and I still love it. What was the last book you had to read for school? Did you enjoy it, or were you just trying to get through? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I loved it. Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery? If so, how much did they win? Would/have you ever play(ed) the lottery? No to both questions. I have a very addictive personality, so I don't really mess with dangerous things that might tempt that behavior. What band/celebrity/etc. do you know the most information about? Who would you like to learn more about? Markiplier, ha ha. As for who I'd like to know more about... hm. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Girt has. Who has made the biggest difference in your life? Jason. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Also Jason. -_- What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie is all you need to know. Even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. What’s yours? My favorite physical store is Hot Topic, but my favorite store overall is Rebel's Market, which I'm pretty sure is just an online source. Which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties? Don't you dare laugh, I prefer "granny panties" lmfao. They're what I'm comfortable in, okay. How many nail polishes do you have, if you were to take a guess? *I* have none. Idk about Mom, but I know not a lot. Are you on birth control? Do you use condoms? I use birth control to regulate my period and ease cramps. If I was sexually active though, both would be musts for me. When did you start your period? How did you react? Who did you tell first? When I got home from school sometime in middle school. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was EXTREMELY upset. Like, I cried, because I didn't feel like a kid anymore. My mom was the first to know. Have you ever had sex while on your period? If so, would you ever do it again? NO NO NO NO THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS LKASDFJ;AJW;LKERJA;WEJLRKQWLKE;JR. Which way do you swing (boys, girls, or both)? I'm bi. Or pan. I really don't know. Tell me ALL about your longest/most serious relationship. Are you still in that relationship? How about I don't, because doing that I'm sure will send me in a PTSD spiral. No, we're no longer together. Who is your ALL TIME best friend (don’t count your boyfriend, either, silly!)? Sara. I don't think I've been as close with any other best friend. Which one of your friends has the best singing voice? SARAAAAAAAAAAA. What shade are you in foundation or concealer? I don't have a clue. I don't wear either. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? "Were you completely naked." No, I shower with underwear on. I've showered with my little sister as well as my best friend as a kid. I've never shared a shower as an adult and don't want to. Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? No. Are you a cuddler or no? If I'm really into you, YUP. And if it's not hot. Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night? No. I miss it sometimes. Have you ever walked on a beach at night? Yes. It's beautiful. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Pretty easily, yeah. Would you marry someone you didn’t love if you were paid 10 thousand dollars? No. I just wouldn't be able to stomach doing that. I'm solely marrying for love. Have you had sex today? I haven't in many years. Do you still care about your last ex? Very very much! Do you own more then one bathing suit? Nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Yeah, but none I like. Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody. Who do you WANT to make up with? Jason. Megan. Do you get scared easily? Hm. It really depends on the situation. Have you seen UP? Never the full movie, actually. I need to. How many coats of mascara do you use? I use it so rarely that I barely know. Two, maybe? What’s your favorite bracelet? The one Sara gave me. I used to always wear it, but it's worn down with time and is too loose for me now, so it's just with my jewelry. What color hair does your mom have? It's naturally gray now, but she dyes it black. Favorite song to listen to when you are mad? "Headache" by Motionless In White does it. What restaurant would you want to work at? NONE. I ain't working with hungry people. I don't want to work with people - period. When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? Depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger or someone I barely know, odds are I'm just going to reply with "fine" or something like that. Were you honestly a good kid? Yes. Is anything wrong with your eyes? I have to wear glasses, so. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? No. What is your mom’s and dad’s favorite TV show? I don't really know for either. Mom watches loads of shows, and I don't live with Dad, so. I know he really likes The Big Bang Theory, though, which Mom also loves. Have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair? No, but ~supposedly~, Dad did with his now-wife. I don't know what the fuck is true between my parents, though. Do you think buying second hand clothes is gross? It depends on the type of clothing (ex., used underwear is a huge fucking no), as well as the state it's in. Does it gross you out when your parents kiss? They're divorced. That would be incredibly weird, uncomfortable, and impossible with how I know at least Mom feels towards Dad. Do you have a playlist made on YouTube? Yeah, multiple. Do you like dollar stores? I mean, sure? They have good deals occasionally and are a good option to stop for a quick snack or something. Mom doesn't actually *shop* in them, though. What’s the last thing you bought from one? I think a honeybun. Do you think it’s weird how babies are made? Well, yeah. Science can be crazy, though. Have you ever lost a friend over the opposite sex? No. Are you comfortable in a short skirt? I wouldn't be comfortable in ANY skirt. Do you and your family go on a vacation ever year? We essentially never do. Vacations cost money. We don't have money to spare. When you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them? No, because it's not like I know him personally, while I know her very deeply. Who was your most romantic moment with? Jason. Do you sweat easily? Like you wouldn't BELIEVE. A side effect of one (or even multiple) of my meds is hyperhidrosis, so I can sweat an ocean in two minutes, it seems. It's disgusting, and I am so self-conscious about it. What’s one memory you wish would just vanish? Just a specific moment with Jason that is particularly agonizing to recall. Are you in love with someone? No. Partying or watching a movie? Partying isn't my thing. I'd have more fun watching a movie with friends. What pisses you off the most? Child molesters/rapists, probably. Where do you want to be at a year from now? I just want a job by then, dude. I also hope I've lost a lot of weight. Do you like pickles? Only dill pickles. If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help? Honestly, no. I don't trust people. What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? We put our plastic bags into one big bag for later use. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yes. How often do you use Flickr? I don't. I only ever check my friend's for meerkat photos, ha ha. Share three nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. No, unless you want me to cry. Have you ever made any of your friends cry? Not deliberately of course, but yes. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? God no, I look high. Out of all the guys you know, who would you trust to not cheat on you? Girt. I know he never would, especially because HE'S been cheated on. How do you plan on disciplining your children? NOT by physical means, I can tell you that much. If I actually had kids, I'd teach them through (hopefully) primarily deeply talking things out. If need be, there'd be time out, grounding, things like that. I do NOT support methods like spanking your kid, so that's a big no. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? Yes; Canada. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Quinn, probably. What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? It's a tie between depression and anxiety. What is your cure for hiccups? NOTHING works for me. It's the worst. Did you ever do anything in class that annoyed other students? I mean, I don't think so. Have you used a Ouija board and had a freaky experience with it? I've never messed with one, and I don't want to. I don't know if I believe in their supernatural abilities or not, but I ain't fuckin around and finding out. Do you stick with a political party, or vote for who you like best? I pick based on their policies and morals, not necessarily their party. Do you know anyone who is an albino? No. Word search or crossword puzzle? Word searches. When you watch a game show, do you like to see people win or lose? Aw, who wants to see them lose? It's great to see people win and be so excited. Do you have a pair of fake redneck, vampire, etc. teeth? No. What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Do you get really mad when you lose a game? Not at all. I'm not very competitive, and games are about having fun. When was the last time you used a pay phone? I actually don't think I ever have. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Jason. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go to church as I'm not religious. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? Who the fuck cares. If they're comfortable and at least have a shirt on, let 'em. Most women have breasts, big whoop. Do you even like politics? God no. What’s it like at raves? Oh god, I'd never go. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? lol yes

[ggukcangetit]

Tomorrow: Jungkook x Reader

**

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: Fluff. Grad student au!; grad student! jungkook; grad student! reader; grad student! bts

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: Suggestive language, mild kissing. Not much else really.

Summary: At the beginning of your third year of your PhD program, you didn’t expect many changes. Until the new PhD cohort started classes, and Jeon Jungkook became part of your group of friends.

A/N: i just wrote this randomly with zero plot in mind. idk what this ended up becoming but read it and lemme know if you like it? 

“Choi is a madwoman. I swear she makes me do so many lit reviews just to see me suffer.” Park Jimin, 2nd year PhD student, works part time at HopeWorld dance studio, and is currently regretting many of his life choices.

“I told you not to say yes to every single project that came your way.” Min Yoongi, 4th year PhD student, weekend DJ at Club Moonlight, recipient of the university’s most prestigious research grant, currently lives in a posh apartment four streets away from the main research lab.

“We’re older. Which means we have more experience. Which means we tend to be right more often.” Kim Seokjin, another 4th year PhD student, enrolled into the PhD program after realising that the completion of his MBA meant he would have to join the family business, amateur chef with professional sass, and sole reason behind Min Yoongi being able to afford living in a posh apartment four streets away from the main research lab.

“Not when you bet Tae he couldn’t finish grading Kang’s first year Intro class papers in 24 hours.” Jung Hoseok, 3rd year PhD student, simultaneously working on a second Master’s degree, also happens to run HopeWorld dance studio during his oodles of free time.

“Speaking of, weren’t you supposed to treat us if you lost the bet, Seokjin?” Kim Namjoon, 3rd year PhD student, plant dad, head of the graduate student council, and all-around overachiever.

“Tae was supposed to choose the place. Did you decide on which exorbitantly expensive restaurant Seokjin is going to take us to, Tae?” Y/L/N Y/N, 3rd year PhD student, roommates with Namjoon and Hoseok, addicted to bubble tea.

“I have a better plan. The incoming first year PhDs are supposed to have their orientation tomorrow. I think Seokjin should organise a mixer to welcome them.” Kim Taehyung, aforementioned ‘Tae’, 2nd year PhD student, works part time at the local art gallery, roommates with Park Jimin, deceptively fast at grading papers.

“I do not remember agreeing to that,” said Seokjin, with a frown, shutting his laptop with a definitive snap.

“Come on, it’s not like you can’t afford it,” Yoongi remarked, not having looked up from the large stack of papers in front of him. “If you can insist on paying 3/4ths of the ridiculously high rent of our apartment even though we could have moved into the perfectly reasonable priced place 20 minutes away from the lab, you can damn well afford to host a mixer for the incoming cohort.”

“20 minutes by car. It takes 45 minutes to walk there, Yoongi. Or do I need to remind you of the fact that only Y/N and Sooyoung own cars in our department?” scoffed Seokjin.

“Do I hear trouble in paradise? Have Yoongi and Seokjin finally had their first fight after years of marital bliss?” Lim Sooyoung, 4th year PhD student, part-time yoga instructor, full-time reluctant designated driver due to being the only other PhD student in the department with a car. 

“Hilarious,” grumbled Seokjin. “That joke is about as old as the milk carton at the bottom of Namjoon’s fridge.”

“That’s still there?” asked Hoseok, scandalised. “You told me you threw that out 4 months ago!”

“It’s a limited edition Blue Bean milk carton! I couldn’t throw it out, Hobi,” replied Namjoon, sheepishly. The use of Hoseok’s nickname meant that he had run out of logical arguments against throwing out the milk carton that had been purchased three months into their first year of doctoral studies. 

“Have you ever considered emptying out the contents and keeping just the carton?” you asked. This suggestion was met with the raising of an eyebrow and the throwing of an airpod by Namjoon. Unfortunately, this also meant that the airpod didn’t reach its intended target.

“Ow!” exclaimed Hoseok, rubbing the side of his face where the airpod had made contact. “This is why you’ve been through 33 pairs of airpods in the last year, Namjoon! You have dormant violent tendencies and terrible hand-eye coordination.”

“Now back to that mixer,” said Taehyung, turning towards Seokjin. “I’m thinking around 5 pm at the Underground should be good. What do you think?”

“Fine,” sighed Seokjin, reluctantly. “I’ll send a message on Slack. Who’s got the first years’ contact info?”

xxx

The next day, you found yourself struggling to find parking outside the Underground, despite it being 4.30 pm on a Tuesday. Namjoon and Hoseok were sitting at the back and discussing ways in which they could watch as many of the student films that were being shown over the weekend, while Taehyung sat shotgun and muttered to himself as he tried to destroy some kind of adversary on that godforsaken game that he always seemed to play. You whipped out your phone and started texting Sooyoung about whether she had found any parking.

SY: just parked… sending you the location… its behind the club

SY: is seokjin with you

Y/N: thanks!

Y/N: no i’ve got tae joon n hobi 

SY: ok… wonder how he’s getting here… yoongi’s with me… said seokjin left a while back

Y/N: idk… sure he found something… uber or lyft or whatever… don't worry he won't ditch lol 

Y/N: i found a spot damnnnnn. cya in a bit

SY: lol tae wouldn’t let him live if he ditched

SY: nice :D yoongi and i are in the purple section

The purple section was undoubtedly the best spot in the Underground, as you had discovered almost 2 years ago. Being new to the city, you had basically followed Joon and Hobi wherever they went to socialize or get food. It was around the end of your second month in the program that Seokjin planned a mid-semester gathering, refusing to eat at, in his words, “another cheap taco truck masquerading as kitschy Instagram bait”. That was your first encounter with the Underground as well as your first experience in the purple section. Simply put, it had the best sofas and chairs, an abundance of vintage arcade games, easy access to the bar and food counter, and a separate music setup. It also cost a lot more to sit at the purple section, but Seokjin had never been the type to scrimp when it came to anything. It had become a kind of tradition after that; every time someone had a birthday, Seokjin would reserve the purple section for the evening. Not having grown up surrounded by luxury and riches, it was sometimes difficult for you to understand how Seokjin never thought twice before spending money on things. Then again, you doubted you would’ve been this thoughtful even if you had this kind of money at your disposal. Seokjin might’ve been hard to read at times, but his heart was in the right place.

Speaking of, you spotted Seokjin standing next to a couple of people you didn’t recognise. Deciding that this was probably the best time to get introduced to the first years, you walked over to them with a smile.

“Just deposited Joon, Hobi, and Tae near the bar. I feel sorry for your tab today, Seokjin.”

Seokjin lifted one of his thick arched eyebrows at you and then burst into his signature windshield wiper laugh. “I’ll give them a free pass today. Afterall, it’s the beginning of a new academic year!”

“You’re planning on dumping all of Kang’s data analysis on them, aren’t you?” you asked, trying to suppress a grin.

“Ah, Y/N, you know me so well,” he grinned, his features lighting up mischievously. “By the way, here’s two thirds of the new cohort. Song Yeri and Jeon Jungkook.”

You glanced at the two unfamiliar people and smiled in greeting. Yeri was a petite girl with long black hair who quickly fell into conversation with you. Jungkook, on the other hand, gave you a soft nod and walked over to where Jimin was opening a couple of beers. 

“So is Professor Kang someone we should be worried about?” asked Yeri, not giving you much time to pay much attention to Jungkook. “I wouldn’t want to be unprepared.”

Seokjin laughed at her worried tone. “Straight off the bat, huh?” 

Yeri flushed slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear self-consciously. “Oh no- I mean, it just seemed like that from your conversation!”

“Don’t worry, Yeri,” you assured her. “Seokjin’s a fourth year - not much phases him. He’s doing his PhD under Kang so he has to do tons of data analysis for her projects. Which he sometimes dumps on people who have been bothering him.”

Yeri looked suitably concerned at this new piece of information. She glanced at Seokjin’s handsome profile and smiled uncertainly. You couldn’t help but giggle at her reaction. It really was difficult to get a grasp on everyone’s personalities just by their looks. Each and every guy in the department was strikingly handsome, and Sooyoung, the only other female besides you, looked like she had walked out of a fashion show. It would’ve been extremely intimidating if you hadn’t personally been a witness to how clumsy Namjoon was, how lame Seokjin’s puns were, how scared Yoongi and Hoseok were of anything remotely resembling an insect, how Tae hadn’t managed to cook a single meal without setting off the fire alarm or giving Jimin food poisoning, how Jimin often collided into objects because he was laughing too much, or how Sooyoung had gotten lost multiple times on her way to campus in spite of driving along the same road for more than 3 years. You were sure Yeri, and the other two first years, would definitely get over the initial nerves and intimidation surrounding their colleagues. In fact, if Jungkook’s animated conversation with Jimin was anything to go by, it seemed like he had gotten over that already.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to the others.” You steered Yeri in Sooyoung and Yoongi’s direction.

xxx

“Thanksgiving next week! I cannot wait to get away from this blasted Ethics class!” 

You were currently in Seokjin and Yoongi’s shared posh apartment, trying to proof-read a paper before the conference deadline. On the couch next to you sat Seokjin and Namjoon, eyes blinking rapidly in tiredness, while Jimin sat across from you, his silver hair tied into a messy ponytail. 

The door to the apartment swung open at that moment as Jungkook walked in, armed with takeout from at least 4 different places.

“I come bearing sustenance,” he announced, as Jimin jumped up with surprising alacrity and rushed towards him. 

“Your Busan blood runs strong, my friend,” said Jimin, appreciatively, eyeing all the different containers on the table. “I knew I could count on you.”

“That makes zero sense, Jimin,” scoffed Sooyoung. She was buried deep inside Yoongi’s favorite bean bag, having taken it over since the owner was currently not at home. “But li’l Jeon has proven to be a valuable addition to our department.”

“Ugh! Don’t call him that! Li’l Jeon sounds like something else,” you said, scrunching your nose in distaste.

“I agree,” replied Jungkook, rolling up his sleeves as he began opening the containers carefully. “But i can assure you of one thing - there is nothing li’l about this Jeon. In any sense of the word.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” you declared, throwing a particularly soft pillow over your face. 

Three months into the semester and Jungkook had become an integral part of your group of friends. It had turned out that Jungkook and Jimin knew each other very well, having gone to school together in Busan. It’s not as if you hadn’t become well acquainted with the other two first years - Yeri still consulted you whenever she needed advice on how to deal with grading or professors or classes in general; and Lauren, an international student from France, was very friendly and turned up at all the department hangouts. But Jungkook seemed like he had been part of your group forever - not someone who had met almost everyone for the first time about 3 months ago. As was customary with first year PhD students, they were required to complete a few mandatory courses before being allowed to customize their coursework around their individual research interests. So even though Jungkook had all the same classes with Yeri and Lauren, almost every moment outside of classes was spent with one of you.

“I can’t believe it’s already time for Thanksgiving,” said Jimin, popping an entire dumpling into his mouth. “-ime eeli plyz.”

“Chew your food, you barbarian,” scolded Seokjin, blowing on a particularly large piece of fried chicken before putting the entirety into his mouth. A couple of chews and a large swallow later, Seokjin was ready for a second piece.

“Speak for yourself,” remarked Sooyoung, holding onto her food protectively.

“I remember Yoongi telling us during our orientation,” Namjoon piped up, a can of beer in his hand. “‘In a PhD program, days are slow, but semesters are fast’. I thought he was high at that time, but I realise now that he’s a true genius.”

“I still don’t get why you’re such a Yoongi fanboy,” grumbled Seokjin, settling comfortably into the couch once again. “I’m just as wise, and definitely a lot funnier.”

“Don’t forget about being a drama queen,” said Sooyoung, nudging Seokjin’s knee with her toes. “You’ve got that one over Yoongi as well.”

“Four years and you're still as ungrateful,” sighed Seokjin, looking uncharacteristically cheerful at the teasing. 

“At least I’m consistent,” shrugged Sooyoung. “Gimme some of your kimchi.”

“Consistency is only useful across data samples,” remarked Seokjin, picking up a small amount of kimchi with his chopsticks and feeding Sooyoung. “Not sure how desirable it is in human relationships. Life would be unbearably dull in that case.” 

“They’ve been dancing around each other for as long as I’ve known them. Why can’t they just get together and stop their incessant flirting in front of the rest of us,” you muttered darkly, vigorously pouring chili oil over your ramen. You, Namjoon, and Jungkook were still getting your food from the kitchen, while Jimin had gone ahead and joined the incessantly flirting pair in the living room.

“Y/N is always so bitter about anything to do with romance,” chuckled Namjoon. “Jungkook, do you know how annoyed she was when Hobi started dating last year?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of hearing that story.” Jungkook glanced at you cheekily, while popping open a can of beer.

“She didn’t speak to him for an entire week. Which was particularly inconvenient because the three of us had just started living in the same apartment, and we were all assigned to assist Choi on her year-end department survey. Poor Hobi thought he might have to find a new place to live.” 

“I’m sorry? Were you the one who came back home after extended office hours to find your friend butt-naked and balls-deep inside the barista who works across the street from our lab? I couldn’t get coffee from there for a month because I couldn’t look Sujin in the eye without immediately imagining Hobi in his natural drawers.”

Jungkook, who had chosen this exact moment to take a sip of beer, spat out the amber liquid on an unsuspecting Namjoon. 

“That’s what you get for deriving pleasure from other people’s misfortunes,” you remarked, smugly.

xxx

It was around 11.30 in the morning, when you heard a loud knocking on your apartment door. Classes had broken for Thanksgiving yesterday, which meant that today was your day to catch up on all the sleep you had missed over the last three months. But instead, you had been woken up much ahead of your intended 16 hours of sleep schedule. 

“You look awful.”

Jungkook walked into the apartment, looking far too fresh and sprightly for your liking. He was wearing that godforsaken plaid shirt that hung loosely off his body, but would highlight his rather well-defined muscles every time he happened to move in a particular way. You absolutely hated what a tease his shirt was. Fortunately for you, he wasn’t wearing the skin tight black jeans which always looked like they were about to burst at the seams, thanks to Jungkook’s equally well-defined thighs. 

“It’s not even noon. Why can’t you call before showing up? Where are your manners, Jeon?” you grumbled, checking to see if your pajamas had any glaring holes in them.

“I need help with the data analysis,” he mumbled sheepishly. “Professor Lee gave me a really tough dataset because I breezed through the first two assignments.”

“Still don’t see why you came over without any notice at this ungodly hour,” you continued, tapping your foot impatiently.

“I also got jjajangmyeon, kimbap, and bubble tea from Kimchi Palace.”

“What kind of bubble tea?” you asked, pushing yourself off the doorframe.

“Strawberry milk tea, half sugar, light ice, with extra strawberry jelly, and no boba.”

“I suppose it isn’t that early.”

A few minutes later, you were explaining principal component analysis to Jungkook, while eating jjajangmyeon and sipping bubble tea. The kimbap was put into the fridge for later, in case Namjoon or Hoseok wanted to have some when they got home at night. 

Jungkook was very intelligent; he picked up new concepts quite easily and was one hundred percent committed to whatever he worked on. He also had a refreshing sense of humor, where he didn’t always crack jokes or stay in the limelight, but his occasional quips were enough to send everyone into fits of laughter. He got along extremely well with each of them. He and Taehyung often walked around the city taking obscure, artsy photographs. Seokjin had basically adopted Jungkook as a younger brother due to his video gaming abilities. Namjoon was glad to finally have someone who enjoyed going on nature hikes with him, while Hoseok had been hugely impressed at Jungkook’s dancing and promptly asked him to help out at his studio. Jimin already knew Jungkook quite well, and Yoongi was more than happy to teach someone else the intricacies of cooking different kinds of meat. Even Sooyoung, who usually remained closed off from new people, had allowed Jungkook to use her car whenever someone needed to be picked up but she was too exhausted to drive. 

“I’m sorry I came by so early. I know you’ve been looking forward to catching up on sleep over the break,” he said softly, looking up from his laptop. That was the other thing that had struck you about Jungkook, he was very perceptive and sensitive to people around him. A rare quality which you appreciated far more than you let on.

“It’s fine. You saved me from having to cook lunch. That itself deserves many prizes from my end. You know how I hate cooking,” you shrugged.

“Speaking of, I’m making dinner for me and Tae tonight. Jimin’s visiting his brother, so it's just the two of us. And since I’d rather not get food poisoning, I’m putting Yoongi’s lamb chop recipe to good use,” he grinned boyishly. “You should come over if you don’t have anything else planned. It’ll save you from cooking another meal.”

“I might take you up on that offer. Let me check if either Joon or Hobi are having dinner at home, otherwise I’ll definitely be there.”

xxx

Taehyung and Jimin (and now Jungkook) lived about 10 minutes away from your place. It was a much larger apartment, so three people were more than comfortable there. Jungkook was staying there until he found another place to stay, but judging by how happy Jimin and Taehyung were with him around, he would probably end up staying with them permanently.

“I found parking at your building for the first time today,” you remarked, dropping your bag on the nearest couch. 

“Half the people are visiting family over the weekend. You won’t be so lucky next time.” Taehyung walked over lazily, his thick black hair falling messily over his eyes. He was dressed in his favorite Celine t-shirt and a pair of the loosest pants you had seen till date.

“The perm’s still looking good, Tae,” you grinned at him, taking the soda from his hand. 

“I’m planning on getting it done again once it wears off,” he said happily, settling into the couch. “Catch up on your sleep? Or did Gguk ruin your Thanksgiving plans as well?”

“‘As well’?” you asked, trying to suppress a grin.

“Taking advantage of the nearly empty laundry room and washing all the sheets does not count as ‘ruining’ anyone’s Thanksgiving plans!” yelled Jungkook from inside the kitchen.

“He woke me up at 7 am and stripped the sheets off my bed, emptied all our laundry bags, and locked me out of my room so that I wouldn’t dirty the bare mattress with my grubby clothes.” Taehyung’s grumbling was always extremely funny because he would end up pouting by the end of his rant and no one would take him seriously after that.

“Okay, the bread is in the oven and should be ready in about 15. Lamb chops are almost done as well. We’ll be dining in no time,” said Jungkook, flopping onto the couch beside you.

“That gives me enough time to answer the emails Choi sent me this morning. Jimin was right, she’s a madwoman. Doesn’t understand what ‘a break’ is , apparently,” sighed Taehyung, getting up and walking towards his room. “Lemme know when the food is ready.”

3 years ago, if anyone had told you that you would be more than halfway through your PhD having become close friends with seven of the most handsome guys on campus (or even in the country), you would’ve laughed at them and then silently questioned their sanity. But now, you couldn’t imagine life without them. Even Jungkook, you realised, glancing at the boy next to you. He had also become an extremely important part of your life. He didn’t say much, but his actions made things abundantly clear. He was extremely caring and thoughtful, even if he didn’t always have the right words to express himself. 

“What’re you thinking?” he asked, looking at you sleepily.

“That this soda is almost lukewarm.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m not.”

Suddenly, you felt a rough set of fingers poking your ribcage. Slowly, but surely, you were squirming in place as you struggled to not spill your soda while Jungkook continued tickling you mercilessly. 

“I know your weakness, remember?” he managed to say between giggles, his voice turning high-pitched as it usually did when he laughed too hard. 

“Gguk stop! The soda! It’ll spill on the carpet!” you gasped, trying to keep your hand steady.

“Oh shit! Sorry. Yeah, Jimin would freak out if he saw a stain on this carpet.” Jungkook let you go so that you could place the soda can on the nearest table. But as soon as you had freed your hands, you jumped on him and pinned him on the couch.

“I also know your weakness, Gguk,” you grinned, deviously, before tickling him with all your might. 

Needless to say, a scenario with two people in their mid-twenties behaving like 4 year olds, was bound to have certain consequences. In this case, it ended with both you and Jungkook falling off the couch, your faces mere inches away from each other. 

This wasn’t the first time you had been struck by how handsome Jungkook was. In fact, you had noticed the exact number of moles on his face and neck, having stopped yourself from reaching out and touching the one under his lower lip on more than one occasion. His large doe eyes also held a certain innocence and wonder in them, even though he was an extremely bright and capable PhD student with a lot of varied knowledge bases. Not just that, his impressive physique had caught you off guard many times. Particularly because it contrasted so heavily with his boyish face.

None of that mattered at this moment, as you could feel his breath on your face. He was so close… If you reached up a little bit, you would be-

“The oven timer’s been beeping for the last 10 minutes. But you both are too busy eye-fucking each other to notice.”

Taehyung’s deep voice caused you both to spring apart from each other, mortification heating up your face and neck. Jungkook’s ears, you noticed, had turned a very beautiful shade of red as well.

Dinner wasn’t as awkward as you expected because Yoongi dropped by a few minutes after your ‘eye-fucking’ session, extremely hungry and annoyed at Seokjin - who had decided to use this night to slow cook some pork.

“Gguk, this is really good,” said Yoongi, once all of you had finished eating. “Didn’t think you’d be able to get it right on the first go! Y/N, what’d you think? You’ve been awfully quiet the whole time.”

You nodded your head in response, keenly aware of Taehyung’s intense gaze that followed your every move. “It was really good, Gguk. Thanks for a lovely meal.”

“Do you need a ride home, Yoongi?” you asked, once all the dishes had been cleared away. “I’ve got my car.”

“Life-saver. I need to pick up a tin of coffee from the convenience store. I’ll meet you at the parking lot in 10?” said Yoongi slipping on his jacket.

“Wait, I’ll go with you. I need to buy some soda,” said Taehyung, springing up suddenly. Not bothering to change out of his slippers, he rushed out after Yoongi, but not before glancing quickly between you and Jungkook and sending you a rather outrageous wink.

“That was… weird,” you remarked, relieved to see that Jungkook had missed your exchange with Taehyung. “Anyway, thanks again for a great meal. You’re a really good cook, Gguk.”

“Thanks,” he said, not really looking up from his phone. He had also been rather silent throughout the meal.

“I’m heading out then. See you later, Gguk.” You picked up your bag and proceeded to open the door.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You turned around to find Jungkook standing rather close to you. You could see the mole below his lower lip quite clearly from here.

“You never told me what you were thinking about.” His voice was a lot more husky than usual, and you gulped as you realised you had no clue what to say to him.

“I-”

Before you could finish your half-formed sentence, Jungkook’s lips were on yours, kissing you slowly. After being frozen for a second or two, your hands made their way into his soft brown curls, relishing in the feeling of having him so close to you. You realised that you had been wanting to do this for a while now. Maybe even since the first day of classes, when he had offered you his cup of coffee after the machine in the department had stopped working. 

“Never mind,” he said, breaking the kiss with a soft ‘chu’. “You can tell me another time. Yoongi’s probably waiting at the parking lot.”

“And Tae might come back any minute now,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, a soft smile on his face. 

“Tomorrow?” It seemed like your brain had short circuited. 

“Yeah.” He dipped down and placed another chaste kiss on your mouth, before displaying his adorable bunny smile. “But even that seems too far away right now.”

You were really grateful that you managed to get both yourself and Yoongi home without crashing the car that night. Once you got home, you checked your phone and found two messages - a text from Jungkook checking if you had reached home safe, and another one from Taehyung.

T: the couch is off limits. don’t even think about it...

xxx

please do not repost anywhere. reblog if you enjoyed the story!

[neverleaveyoubehind]

Teen Wolf : 1x01 “Wolf Moon”

OMG they look so young! This whole episode has made me feel so old, I can’t believe that it’s been 9 years since this aired. I still remember watching this after middle school and now, it’s been almost a decade, I’m in college , I’m a full adult, unbelievable!

Let’s proceed with the actual reaction, though.

The first scene it’s surprisingly good, I mean, the way it starts all somber with the creepy music, you see all the police department and the Sheriff arriving to the woods, all the police dogs barking , the fog ,... I really liked it. Actually, I had forgotten about this scene in particular.

Like, we actually get to see the Sheriff a little bit, in my mind we weren’t introduced to the Sheriff until later in the episode. That was cool, knowing that he’s the first important character we see (even though you need to be paying a lot of attention to see that it’s him, because they just focus on showing his arm or something like that )

Suddenly, the music changes into an upbeat song, and we are in Scotts house. (God, seeing Scott fixing the Lacrosse stick gave me ALL the nostalgic feelings I could handle) Tyler Posey looks so young, like a little baby, he changes so much during the years. Not like Dylan who looks exactly the same but , with longer hair 9 years later.

Anyway, we have baby Scott (that’s how I will be referring to him for the next 2 seasons aprox) working out , being teenagery , brushing his teeth (his sink worried me a bit, maybe they should think about investing in a new one ‘cause that one looks nasty) Then, he hears a noise and freaks out. BTW, Scotts hair is a whole situation, it’s way too long for such a small face.

He freaks out, gets out of the house with a baseball bat,which might have been the highlight of my day (also,the baseball bat as a deathly weapon was Scott’s idea first ,ladies and gentlemen, let’s take that into consideration) and we are finally introduced to Stiles.

What better way to introduce him than having him hanging for his first 2 minutes on screen? (he being completely unfazed by it, and carrying the conversation like nothing was wrong, is my favorite thing in the world and the reason why I love Stiles so much) if this whole scene isn’t the reason why everyone kept watching the pilot, Idk what to tell you.

Ok, then, after the best interaction ever, Stiles has somewhat convinced Scott to go look for the body in the woods. Because, yes people, there’s a body , this body is missing a half and Stiles wants to find it. Like, of course he does, this man thinks he’s a detective or something (And yes, I did say a half because we don’t know which part is missing) So, in what has to be the most teenager/peer pressure way (reluctantly following your best friend trough the woods with a murderer on the loose) our story begins.

We have Stiles and Scott walking around trying to find the body (every sentence that leaves Dylan's mouth during this episode is gold, that's really my opinion) Scotty is worried about the prospect of founding not only the body but, the murderer, Stiles is living his best life, joking around, walking way too fast for our asthmatic baby Scott, and that's how they get separated.

We properly meet one of the best characters of the show, the sheriff Stilinski, after Stiles gets scared by another deputy that thinks he’s the murderer, and Stiles leaves with his dad. So, now we have us a baby Scott walking alone, in the dark, back home.

He’s walking for a bit, with creppy background music and various animal noises (the music and the ambiance of this show are great. Props to the music team, honestly) Then, he reaches a clearing in the middle of the forest, takes out his inhaler, and when he is about to use it, a bunch of deer bump into him causing him to fall to the ground and drop the inhaler. (I bet he was more worried about dying crushed by deer than losing it, though) When the deer have gone their merry way,and he no longer thinks he’s going to die, he gets up and starts looking for the inhaler with the light of his cell phone (with the light of the screen to be precise. Scotty isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed), but he doesn’t find his inhaler, he finds... The body (the upper part, in case someone was wondering)

Then, Scotty jumps back from the scare, and falls down a hill. When he gets up, a huge black monster attacks him and baby Scott gets bitten!

(The CGI of the first season is truly horrifying but, don’t panic my friends, it will get better)

Baby Scott runs as good as he can manage ,after being bitten by an unknown huge thing and having lost his inhaler,through the woods until he reaches the road, where he is almost hit by a car (our homeboy Scotty is having a really bad night)

SPOILER

The fact that he gets almost run over by Allison and her mom , who aren’t even in the show yet is amazing. Jeff did truly love this 2 because their storyline is truly wonderful, their whole relationship is handled with such care and a lot of attention to details. It makes my heart soft.

SPOILER

They go to school, Jackson looks like an asshole and turns out to be an asshole, normal High School shit. Scotty shows Stiles his bandage and tells him that a wolf bit him, then Stiles proceeds to laugh his ass off because there hasn’t been wolfs in California in like 60 years (Stiles is the kind of person that knows that type of thing) and , baby Scott tells him that he found the body.

Then this whole hilarious scene happens:

They go to class and Scotty starts hearing a phone ringing and turns out he’s the only one hearing it (obviously dude, you’re a werewolf) because it’s the phone of a new girl that’s outside of the High School waiting for the headmaster (I guess, I though someone else was but maybe that hasn’t happened,yet) this new girl is talking on the phone with her mom and she realizes that she forgot to bring a pen (really? You forget to bring a pen to your first day of High School? Someone wasn’t prepared)

So the headmaster brings the new girl to Scotty’s class , her name is Allison, and baby Scott has a crush on her the second he sees her (puppy love has never been more fitting )

Then, he does that whole thing of giving her a pen that she didn’t ask for (if I was Allison I’d be creeped out that someone just gave me a pen after I said outside of the building that I didn’t have one but, IDK, maybe it’s just me)

Anyway, Lydia and Allison become BFFs ,they have Lacrosse practice (we hear the Lacrosse background music for the first time) and surprise, Baby Scott didn’t suck (we also meet Coach aka the most important person of Beacon Hills high school) After school Stiles and Scott go back to the wood to look for the body and the inhaler (seriously, do this kids never learn?) while Stiles jokes about Scotty being a werewolf,and Derek Hale makes his first appearance (God Derek looks like Edward Cullen in this episode) he gives Scott his inhaler back and tells them to get out of his property (like an old man)

Stiles tells Scotty that almost all of Derek’s family died in a fire in his house and baby Scott leaves to go to work. He goes to feed the cats and they freak out, Allison comes to the vet hysterical with a dog she run over , this cutie moment happens :

Baby Scott is in love, so he asks her out to Lydia’s party that friday, Allison is also in love so she says yes. Scotty goes to sleep feeling on cloud nine and wakes up in the middle of the woods (it was a full moon the night before) he sees the big monster that attacked him the other night starts running and ends up falling in someone’s pool (Baby Scott is way to ripped for an asthmatic little kid but, ok)

He goes to school , Jackson interrogates him about steroids (fuck off Jackson, no one likes you. Well, maybe Lydia, but that’s it) Scotty freaks out about sleepwalking 40 miles into the woods, they go to Lacrosse practice and Scotty makes first line so he’s going to be playing in their first Lacrosse game of the year ,Stiles is suspicious because Scott was awful at Lacrosse like 2 days ago , and suddenly he’s a pro (like he should be, honestly, people should listen to Stiles more)

Stiles goes home researches a freaking ton about lycanthropy and werewolfs and decides that yes, his best friend is a werewolf (just like that, that was his first option and he stuck to it) he calls Scotty, tells him that he should cancel his date with Allison just in case he tries to kill her but Scott ignores him.

Melissa and baby Scott have a nice mother-son moment before his first ever date (with a lot more mentions of teenage pregnancies and underage sex for what one would expect from a first date)

Baby Scott takes Allison to the party, everything is going great, until it isn’t. Suddenly Scott starts feeling the bloodlust and the changes that Stiles had warned him about, so he leaves the party (leaving Allison alone without as mush as an apology, and without a way to get back home) Do not fear, though. Derek offers to take her home so everything’s great.

Scotty goes home while having a whole freak out and tells Stiles (who has followed him because he’s the best friend anyone could ever have) that Derek is the werewolf that bit him. Stiles tells Scotty that Derek took Allison home, Baby Scott leaves to have a fucking argument with Derek, and Stiles goes to Allison’s house (Allison was just fine so Stiles leaves)

Scotty and Derek get attacked by werewolf hunters (needless to say, Scotty won’t be sleeping in a while)

In the morning Stiles picks him up from the woods. At school Scotty apologizes to Allison, she forgives him because they are in love (or stupid , if I had been left like that in the first date I wouldn’t have forgiven him) and we are introduced to Allison’s dad

Wait, did I say Allison’s dad? I meant the werewolf hunter that tried to kill him the night before.

Wow that was a roller coaster of emotions ! What did you guys think? Did you remember all of what actually happens ? Did you also realize that you’ve been mixing what happens in each season together into one big season? Because I did

[wolfwhiteflowers]

I found this on twitter and wanted (try) to answer them here instead. :B Great questions! thanks. @LM_Nocass twitter.com/LM_Nocass/ status/1292935841258647553

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𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥/𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥/𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 (𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲); 2:28 PM · Aug 10, 2020 --------------@LM_Nocass

1. Which part of herself does Carol see in Daryl?  ||um same brokenness past and seeing that there’s good parts in him. He’s not like Merle and Ed. 2. Which part of himself does Daryl see in Carol?  ||They both know what it’s like to be abused and have an understanding. He sees strength in her. /...I think they slowly start to think they’re not alone on feeling like the odd one out or fighting to live before Apoc. They eventually think they’re a lot alike and connected right away. s1-s2. I guess they both started to grow at the same time and look after each other’s back ever since.

3. If there was no za and they met each other, would they be so close? Why?    ||Yeah I think so. But not so close or “early” on. Probably lil glimpse of like oh they’re alike and good people. But other things in the way...like Carol or Daryl be stuck in bad situations and die or something. Y’kno Daryl would’ve been like “mini Merle” or like.... dead from stopping a fight or prison. Carol could just be dead or lost herself from being with Ed. ...Unless they got away from their abusers :) I can see there’s a chance of them getting close.   *”mini Merle” I think I got this phrase wrong. Mini Merle is Merle’s hand weapon thing. I meant that Daryl would have become more damaged,lost, and be similar to Merle then. ..like a younger Merle.

4. How do you think, Alexandria's ppl ship them or they don’t care? Why?  || BTW, I think of what the writers want or had in mind.. Anyway, when Rlchonne happened or Abe and Sasha went canon, it just seems like very neutral whatever way. Well I guess the show isn’t that .. charactery and romantic. -_-  Anyway, I think they care and are supportive and of all Team family but mind their business. I think practically everyone knows about Caryl and their close relationship. I guess they’re like in the same boat as us or general fans. We would be happy if they get together but if not then like ....hmm you guys are so together~  Um..I guess people would be going WTF if Caryl grew apart.

5. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to believe in supernatural stuff? Why?   || they both seem to be into that. erm I’ll say Daryl.

6. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to send a lot of Red heartFace throwing a kissSmiling face with heart-shaped eyes and etc? Why?   || Carol is more open to display of affection. But Daryl got his heart on his sleeves. He’s straightforward tells/show you how he feels and means it.

13. What would do today's Carol if she met someone like Ed?  ||Probably she be able to stand up to him when he starts to be controlling and she speak out and say it’s not right. Idk..maybe them talking it out will make Ed change himself if he wants to. And she walks away from him early on. 14. If today's Carol met past Carol, what would she say to her?   ||You’re stronger than you think you are. You are enough. These hard times made her wiser in Apoc./life. She’s always a mother..when they’re gone, they’re still with her. 15. If today's Daryl met past Daryl, what would he say to him?    ||This doesn’t always have to be this way/Merle-life. You’re not alone. Good people will stick with you. Trust them. Your goodness matters. You don’t need to depend on Merle. If Merle wouldn’t change now then he won’t later on. Idk... Daryl is so loyal and to his brother. So it’s just he gotta let Merle/his past go. 16. Why does Daryl prefer the crossbow, not a bow?   ||I guess that’s what hunters like to use most often. Idk. 17. AU: real life. Which one of them is most likely to surfing in the Internet for hours? Why?   ||Carol because she mentioned internet in s4. lol Okay um yeah Carol I guess. I think she likes to research on things. Daryl is more outdoorsy kind of person. 18. AU: real life. Which one of them will have a private acc on social medias and who won’t care?   ||I think both would be private...or heck Daryl not private but barely any content. lol Just hunting, nature stuff and games.

19. AU: real life. Which one of them will send memes?   ||Carol because she like goofy or sassy jokes.

20. AU: real life.  What profession is suitable for Carol? Why?  ||hmm housewife, teacher, nurse, or something to look after the community.. She likes to cook but Idk if she likes to do it often. Some job to care about the people and place.

21. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Daryl? Why? ||A hunter, mechanic, or construction worker. Something like hands-on job.

22. Which of them has a black sense of humor?   ||I think Carol have a dark/black sense of humor. Daryl is ..more less humor-y. more sarcastic. idk what im saying.

23. Had Daryl ever thought about having children? If he did, he would prefer boy or daughter?    ||I think he never really thought of it till he’s away from Merle/past life. But Idk I think he doesn’t really think on it. He just wants to protect all kids. He’s Uncle Daryl. I don’t think he has a preference.

24. Is Daryl asexual or demisexual? Or other? Why?    ||Read ? #10. I say so far it seems like he’s demisexual from what Kang said and from what people/fandom been always questioning him from the show and from that 6 years in woods plot. (Also the show isn’t that showy on romance and relationships so I didn’t think they would bother to address his romance/sexuality but they did so ok.) I guess I always think of him as demisexual...or someone who would be friends to lovers kind of person. He’s the closest with Carol so..slowburn to canon, yeah? /// This makes me think of Carol’s relationships and how she is fine having sex anytime ..no emotions involved way...She doesn’t really have or know a good emotional canon relationship except almost with Zeke, I guess. 25. Carol’s fav movie genre(s)? ||Romcoms <3

26. Daryl’s fav movie genre(s)?  ||action / horror :O 27. When the show ends, what kind of ending do you want for them?   ||I want good writing and that flows right. Caryl be Caryl. I guess them riding off to the sunset to New Mexico. Or..looking after team family in ASZ or TF working together to find/help Rick and living their best lives in a community. A happy ending pls. 28. Which one of them is good at math?  ||hmm Carol. Daryl would be good at reading..science.

29. If there was Caryl movie, what song(s) would you add to it?   || hmm a song to add, I would pick ..”You and Me” by Pink I think. Or, “X and Y” by Coldplay. Or, “Cosmic Love” by Florence Machine. 30. Did Daryl help you?   ||I really appreciate the writers and the acting did with Daryl and Carol. They’re really unique, interesting and relatable characters. Daryl helped me to keep being myself and do what’s right even when you feel odd ball out. Idk I also like that we see characters like Daryl and Carol what we stereotypical think they may be like in s1 but then we see they’re relatable and we can be more open minded to other people.  I liked that we see him getting a chance to grow and see how loyal he is. 31. Did Carol help you?  ||Yeah. I really like how she’s like I guess most people in s1, quiet, timid, not quite fit into the Apoc. world, but learns to trust herself, get braver and open up. She’s like so strong and brave now but it’s not surprising to see that in a way because we see her character development and I like how writers and acting, made it so relatable and realistic to me. We all can be like Carol. //I think she’s a great character to watch for mothers who lost kids or was a abused wife/person. Same with Daryl as a abused child/brother in that Merle’s lifestyle.

32. What did Caryl give you? Hope? Strength?  ||I really like what became Caryl in the show for years. They became one of my fave ships. They’re unique and I love that we see their strong bond and connection. They’re soulmatey and angsty. Idk I feel like they gave hope that there are people that will get you and have your back. And strength, they grown so much and made me think about myself to keep facing my fears and be in a healthy relationship. 33. Carol’s fav music genre(s)?   ||Country pop. Idk.. I think McReedus are into Rock music so. 34. Daryl’s fav music genre(s)?   ||Country rock. ...Idk Metal music.

35. Describe Carol in one word. ||Brave

36. Describe Daryl in one word. ||Loyal or uh a word that means does what he think is the right thing to do...and caring. Uncle.

37. What do you expect from them in season 11?  ||Idk I’m really clueless. TWD right now is really not by the comics anymore and it’s hard to speculate now. I’m kinda hoping they have something a plot that relates to taking care of the Grimes kids and a plot/s that relates to Rick’s journey/TWD show. Idk well I guess they be figuring it out what to do with Maggie and politics with the ..spoiler- new communities.

I hope for good writing and if they go canon, I hope they write good relationship/romance writing. As in they don’t separate them and break up a bunch of times or be boring. eek. I hope it’s like they still be like the subtle canon ship..like RIchonne as there is something else they have to do together. Like they be canon but they talk about the new plots/problems/family in s11 and their relationship grows.

38. Your favorite Caryl season(s)? Why?  ||It’s season 2 or s10. I feel it’s the most Caryl interaction and them deepening their relationship. 39. When do you think Daryl was ready to start a relationship? Or do you still think he isn't ready? Or he is ready rn?    ||Whenever the writers are ready. :\  I think as a character he’s ready...yeah especially s10. He’s not hiding and being emo in the woods in s9. He’s not the (Rick’s)sidekick character anymore. He’s I think grown a lot by being with people and opening up being a leader-like now, domestic?,leading character, and I think he’s now more ready to have romantic relationship if he wants to. And for Carol ..rn is like does she feel worthy or ok to have love again. ooh angst. 40. Which of them is owl, and which of them is lark? Why?  || I think Daryl is a lark/early bird because he likes the quietness and time to hunt, and Carol is a night owl because she likes to know what else is going on when it’s the dark.

[idkhyuck]

My First and Last- A Renjun Soulmate AU

A/N: OKAY SO I REALLY WANTED TO TRY MY HAND AT A CHEESY SOULMATE AU BECAUSE I FLIPPING LOVE SOULMATES. idk if i hate this or not, feedback is appreciated and i’m going to post it in parts so this is only part one. I cried like a baby writing this so i hope i’m able to get the emotion i was trying to convey across. A Song i recommend listening to while reading are Berenstein by the Band Camino. just to get a feel for the longing and need. 

RENJUN x SOULMATE!READER

WARNINGS/ ANGST, MENTIONS OF MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. 

I remember the day I turned 18 I used my ID to go to see a  Soulmate fortune Teller. All of my friends went out drinking with their soulmates. They all met theirs young. My best friend Julia; Met hers when she was 7 Charlie moved in next door and they met each other and cried because they were freaked out at what was happening.. Meeting you’re soulmate is a huge thing. You live you’re whole life waiting for this. They both can’t tell me what they felt because they barely remember it. Julia said her heart started racing and her eyes blurred out and refocused.  Usual cliché shit, The dilated eyes, the heartbeat. I just knew there had to be more to it.  Imagine spending most of my life with Julia and Charlie who can’t live with out each other. That’s another thing. Apparently being away from you’re soulmate once found is physically and emotionally painful. Old people often die in pairs because they can’t handle the pain of their lover dying. My parent’s are so hopelessly in love it hurts. Everyone around me is in love. I was a hopeless case. I honestly thought all of my teenage years I didn’t have a soulmate. I was meant to live this hopeless lonely life all my life and never know the feeling of “true love”. It sucked because kids never wasted time dating because you’ll find your one, someday. I’ve read tons of books and stories of people choosing who they fall in love with. I longed for a world like that, until I went into that fortune teller’s shop.

“I can tell you three facts about you’re soulmate.” She told me as she sat me in front of her. She looked at me, through me? Idk it was a weird experience.

“He appears older than he is.” She said. How much older could he be? I wondered to myself. I hoped it wasn’t a gross age gap. “He’s adored by many people.” Adored? Like by his family? Friends? Or like famous? “He will die shortly after you meet.” What?

“a-“ I started

“of course It’s a bit foggy, but this is what I see right now.” She said as she blinked her eyes back to herself?

“die?” I asked

“oh my dear, That’s how life is sometimes, you are a strong girl, I know you’ll be okay.” She said. It’s been 5 years since then. I now know who “he” is at the age of twenty three. I’ll never forget the moment I saw him. I was watching some music videos with my friends, They were discussing the differences of K-pop groups. It was a usual night at the dorm. I was 21 years old and in my third year of my degree. I was a business major, so I was always swamped with homework. I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were playing on the TV, I heard this voice and I Just had to look up. There he was, My soulmate. My heart started racing, I felt nauseous, My eyes could only see him. I wasn’t overcome with emotion like many say you’re supposed to be. But like it was as if someone had turned off the entire world around me and all I could see and think was SOULMATE. I blinked a few times, I’d finally lost my mind. This Korean boy was my soulmate. How? This can’t be. And he was going to die. No. he couldn’t, I wouldn’t let him. If I never met him he would never die right? He was the most beautiful human being I’d ever seen, My entire being literally throbbed upon the thought of him dying. I don’t even know his name. I looked up

“y/n? you okay?” Julia asked

“uh, yeah. Who is this group?” I asked, I just noticed how shallow my breathing was, My voice sounded so ragged.

“are you sure you’re okay?” Julia asked she sounded far away, as My soulmate had just started singing again.

“who?” I asked, my voice was tiny. I lifted my shaky hand up to point at him on the TV

“HOLY SHIT! y/n?” Julia said coming over to grab me. She knelt in front of me. “That is your soulmate isn’t it?” She said trying to hold my hands that were vibrating. I could see the other girls now intrigued, The video paused on him now. I looked up and it hurt to look at him, it hurt but I couldn’t pinpoint where, or why. Wtf the was happening to me. I tore my eyes away to look down at Julia, I nodded. “oh my god.” She whispered. awhile back I had told her what the Soulmate fortune teller told me, She was waiting for this. We had plans to move to LA after graduation with hopes of finding my soulmate in the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. That was the first night it hurt to be away from him. I spent the months after researching soulmates. They were still such a mystical thing to us as humans. Apparently there were studies of long distance soul mates having phantom pains. That would explain the why my body constantly ached. I watched how hard he worked, I grew to love his music, I picked up on the Korean so easily, the Chinese was something to be desired. I grew to love him, and I didn’t even know him. Studies also proved that once someone acknowledges their soulmate the other is able to feel it even If they haven’t met yet. I often wondered if he felt me. I know he’s dreaming of me. That’s a huge thing there are so many stories of one-sided love lorn soulmates longing to get to theirs but can’t at the time. Like when you pass on a busy street or something like that The one who doesn’t know often had dreams of their soulmate until the day they meet. There’s so much we as a human society know about soulmates. I was now apart of this society. I had my soulmate. The one thing that the fortune teller had wrong was he’s actually not old. He’s currently 19 years old, She got that wrong. I hoped and prayed she got the other thing wrong. I’d lie awake at night longing for him, I did not expect that. I cried myself to sleep many a night because it physically hurt to be without him. Julia was living her happy life, Sleeping with Charlie every night, Kissing him, feeling him, being near him, Getting to spend the rest of her life with him. As much as I longed for him I didn’t want to meet him, If I never met him he’d live his life out. How can the one person in the world that is meant for me be so ill-fated because of me. I was his harbinger of death and I hated it. I’d rather live my life never knowing him than to have to lose him one day.

 Despite my constant protests, Julia had convinced me to come spend the summer in Seoul. She hated seeing how much it hurt me to be without him. He had to be looking too she said. He was in the middle of a comeback right now so there we’re lots of promotions and shows around town. I saw a few billboards with him on it. I really didn’t have a plan, I wasn’t going to stalk him, he dealt with that enough. So after I got settled in at my apartment, I spent a few days a week at the café in his companies building. So many girls dreamed of meeting their favourites here. They’d pass through at some point right?  A few weeks passed with no luck, but today was extra busy, The staff had begun to know me at this point, My favourite staff was working today, She always let me use the Staff bathroom. I had just ordered my coffee and put it on my table I had taken out my book for the day when the urge to pee hit me. I went and asked her and she gave me the key. I was walking down the hall it was passed the room where the idols would film their things. I was kind of anxious today and I didn’t really now why. It was bugging me, I didn’t want to leave early, They were supposed to be here today. I splashed some water on my face and went back out, I locked the bathroom door behind me and heard a gasp behind me, I instantly felt chills throughout my entire body. I slowly turned and saw him standing there, I swore I blacked out for a millisecond. I froze, my legs felt heavy, My heart was racing.

“dreams. Y-y..” he said

“Renjun.” I said my voice shaky, I looked at him, he was getting paler by the second, I reached out to grab his hand, He reached out to me, our eyes never leaving the others once. The moment his hand touched mine, I felt every single emotion possible, relief mostly, pain, Pure happiness. I couldn’t help but cry. I didn’t notice I was crying until he reached down to wipe my cheek. My skin was so hot, his fingers cold to the touch. He was handling  this so much better than me.

“soulmate.” He said quietly

“y/n” I said quietly my voice shaky

“y/n” He repeated. “it’s okay.” He said and in the moment life honestly was okay. I felt so content just being near him. This is everything I could have ever wanted in life and more and it hurt me that I might not always have this would i constantly live with this fear in the back of my mind. I was sobbing at this point, He pulled me into his arms and held me there. Shushing and cooing at me telling me it was going to be okay. I had never felt more okay in my life than I did in his arms. I totally understand why Julia and Charlie were always holding onto each other.

“hey!” Someone said from behind us, The furious stomping, I looked up and saw Renjun had tears streaming down his cheeks too now. He wiped his eye with his sleeve and kind of hid me behind him.

“it’s okay.” He said in Korean.

“why?” The person asked

“she’s my soulmate.” He said his voice cracking slightly.

“what?” The person was shocked. “can’t be?” he said I peeked out and saw a tall guy I’m assuming was a body guard.

“bring her up to the practice room please?” He said wiping at his face. “She can’t go back out there now?” he said in perfect Korean. Wow I hoped I sounded like that when I spoke to him. “please?” he asked sounding small. The guard nodded. Renjun turned to me and started in English “he’s going to.” He started pointing all around “go up stairs with you.” He pointed at me and up

“I understand you.” I said my korean not as confident, his face lit up. “Are you sure this is okay?” I asked him

“I don’t know.” He said “I just know I don’t want you to leave.” He said “please go with him and wait for me?” He asked. I couldn’t say no to him, it hurt me to even think of ever hurting him. I nodded and followed behind the man. He silently led me through the back halls of the buildings. He opened a door and said

“wait here, they won’t be long.” He said “I’ll get you a guest pass.” He said then left. He returned not even a minute later with a pass “don’t do anything stupid.” He said then he was gone. I looked around, I’d seen these exact practice rooms so many  times on my computer watching him. I finally met him, He was so absolutely stunning in person, His voice was like it was made only for me to hear. He was perfect. I didn’t want to lose him, ever. I sat there trying to process everything I was feeling and all I knew was that I wanted to be in his arms again.

 He walked into the practice room, with a bottle of water and my coffee and book, How did he know, Was this a soulmate thing? I thought to myself.

“y/n” he said “how old are you?” he asked me

“23.” I answered.

“Noona.” He said taken aback, That was so cute, my health literally melted and flared up at the same time.  He came and sat beside me. “did you know?” he asked I nodded “For how long?”

“two years.” I said

“the dreams.” He said quietly eyes wide looking at nothing in particular then up at me “you’re even more beautiful in person.” He said reaching out to touch my face, Then shying away. “how are we supposed to do this?” he said thinking aloud.

“I don’t know.” I said “Please don’t be shy.” I said “it’s been two years.” My voice sounded tired and needy and I hated that he had that affect one me already. His eyes looked at me wide, The he looked down at my lips, Then he slowly leaned in, or I leaned in. I honestly don’t know. His breath mixed with mine as our faces were just centimeters apart.

“I think I love you.” He said before his lips met mine, The lightheaded airy, hot feeling that was rushing through my veins went into overdrive. I  reached up and held him behind his head. I wanted to open my eyes to see if there world really was disappearing around me like It felt like it did. Were we actually transcending into another universe together. Hopefully one where we could always feel like this. His arms wrapped behind me pulling me into him. I was going to pass out yet today I was sure of it. I pulled away much to his dismay, His whine barely audible. I looked at him, His cheeks flushed, his lips swollen and red, his eyes lit up like a galaxy. I looked down at his shaky arm that was wrapped around me. His breath was as rough as mine felt.  A smile came up on his face as he tried to steady his breath “Yeah, I definitely love you.” He said rubbing my back slightly.  “Where are you from?” he asked

“America.” I said. “I love you too.” I said, his cheeks flushed a little deeper at that.

“I feel like all of this is so backwards.” He laughed quietly laying his head back against the wall.

“When you have time we can go talk about whatever you want.” I said “I want to know you.” I said sounding needy again, I hated how easy it was to tell him this stuff. “I’ve spent two years only knowing you in here.” I said holding my phone up. I stretched my legs out in front of me and leaned back against the wall.

“come with me?” He said holding is hand out for me. I grabbed it, it felt like it was meant for me and only me, like I could never hold anyone else’s hand ever again. “I have the day off now.” He said laughing. We stood up and he led me out of the practice room to a stair case. I watched him as he walked up the stairs. He was so delicately beautiful. A few flights later we were on the roof, There was a bunch of lawn chairs and tables on the roof. He led me to a table that overlooked the city around us. I sat there and he sat across from me. He looked out at the world then at me. “wow.” He said. “I always wondered what it would be like.” He said. “Tell me how it went for you?” He said I explained the whole thing to him and how much it hurt me and how much I worried about him constantly and I was basically just pouring my heart and literal soul out to him and it was so easy and he looked at me with such deep expressions he was feeling everything I felt, he was real, this was real. as disorienting as it was to be here feeling all this at once It was so incredibly comforting to be near him, to be with him. He held my hand across the table, He’d bring it up to kiss it softly every now and then. I wondered if the intensity of his touch would wear off or would it always be like this. I wondered if he felt it this intensely too. “Tell me if any of this makes sense?” I said “did you feel me like they said you’re supposed to?” I said. Looking down then up at him. He looked at me his cheeks reddened.

“I felt everything.” He said “The first time it was insane, it wasn’t intense like everyone said it was.” He said “I just felt lightheaded and a little sick to my stomach.” He laughed “I thought I hadn’t eaten enough or worked too hard.” He said “it wasn’t until that night I had a dream.” He said looking at me in the eyes “I’ll never forget this first dream.” He said “I was onstage, crowd screaming, the guys around me. I slip and fall and everyone is gone, the crowd, the guys, the crew. It’s dark the lights are shining in my eyes. They couldn’t focus for a long time. Like you know when you take a picture of lights and they’re all glowy? Yeah that’s what my eyes were doing bouncing in and out of focus like that. Then I see something coming towards me from behind the light. I’m trying to hard to see what it is. Then I see, and it’s the most beautiful human in the world.” He said looking at me “I needed to get to you, I needed to be near you, I couldn’t reach you, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t yell for you to come to me. I was opening my mouth and nothing was happening. You looked so lost. So scared, So alone. It hurt me. This dream haunted me for the first little bit.” He said “Then the dreams would change. I would be walking down this dark road trying to get to you. You were always just out of reach.” He said “not matter how much I wanted to get you I couldn’t In some of the dreams you’d tease me. You’d look right at me, through me and I couldn’t do nothing about it. I’d feel so vulnerable and lost in these dreams. In others I was just desperate” he said, His ears reddening. Desperate to touch you, and hold you and kiss you and hear you and Feel you.” He said “feel this.” He said holding our hands up “and so much more.” He said My heart was steadily pounding in my ears, I wondered if he could hear it, if he could feel it. I pulled one hand free and placed it on my chest

“can you feel it?” I asked sounding a little breathless. Was this him? Or me? Are we currently feeling each other? He swallowed hard and nodded placing his hand on his chest. “will it always be like this?” I asked him. “this can’t be healthy.” I laughed.

“I don’t know.” He said laughing quietly. “Tell me about you.” He said “I want to know everything.” He said looking at me, his eyes a glow. The sun was lower in the sky but not quite setting yet. It created a good afternoon glow. I started from birth and made my way up from there. He’d laugh like I was the funniest person in the world, His laugh was the most beautiful sound I’d ever seen. Everyone I was ever attracted to in life lacked compared to him. His boyish features, His soft eyes, I’d never seen true beauty until I met him in person. Our conversation came easy. We had so much in common, our childhoods were told as if we lived down the road from each other. His stories would bounce off of mine, or mine of of his, Our lives interconnected through these innocent memories where we had no idea we’d ever meet in this way, or at all. We were both lonely teens. He often wondered if he would be able to be with his soulmate because of who he became. He wondered if I saw him at his shows and he missed me. He’d always look into the crowd at his events. He’d look around at the airport. He was constantly searching for me because he felt like he failed because he didn’t see me when I saw him. He felt like he failed as a soulmate. He felt every ounce of sadness I felt when I was longing for him. He longed for me to find me and apologize. And he did apologize and it hurt to see him think he wasn’t enough. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him of the fate I was told of for him? Was that against the rules? Were there rules? He’d hurt enough already, I didn’t dare want to hurt him more let alone live without him. It could be wrong anyway.

“you’re sad.” He said looking at me worried, I couldn’t hide nothing from him now but I’d damn sure try and hide this for the rest of my life.

“you can never fail me.” I said. “ever. I hope I never fail you.” I said. “please always be here with me.” I said as tears started welling In my eyes

“I’ll always be with you now.” He said “we’ll never be apart.” He said reaching for my hand and pulling me up and towards him. He sat me across his lap. I felt so small in his arms and safe. and scared for him in this moment. I wanted nothing more in life than to protect him forever. He held me close to him, I could hear his heartbeat syncing with mine. His hands holding on to me at my hip, My one arm wrapped around him and I leaned into him. The nape of his neck warm, I kissed his pulse point and felt is on my lips, I hoped I’d always feel it there. The tears were falling steadily now. “don’t be sad.” He said to me in the softest voice. “you’ll be okay as long as I’m here.” He said. He had no idea what he was saying and how much it really meant to me, or maybe he did. “I’ll love you forever.” He said as he turned to kiss my lips softly. My hands immediately found his hair, I ran my hands through the ends as we kissed softly. His nose bumping mine. His hands holding onto me tightly. This kiss much more innocent than our last one but still had just as much of an effect on me as the first. My stomach was in knots as I tried to stop the tears and let him comfort me. I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t have come. His poor soul didn’t deserve me, I didn’t deserve him. His lips meeting my lips with growing intensity, his hands gripping me tighter, My breath coming in harsh breaths now as I had stopped crying. He kissed up my cheek and down again. I leaned my forehead against his, His breath cool on my damp cheeks.