#idk I just went with my heart for most of it

[bluukive]

•Keep it Hush, Hush•

Content - NSFW, reader x Satoru, mutual pining, suggestive, missionary, reader is in denial, allusions to drugs, MDNI

A/N: was listening to Dopamine by Giselle whilst writing this. This was interesting to write since I'm asexual n know nothing about the boom shakalaka.

But what did you say? It was the dopamine that had you coming back for more. Liar.

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But you looked so good standing next to each other. As if Satoru was some sort of accessory made to be shown off and hung at your side.

Every. Single. Time without fail, you came back. He came back. It was a game of push and pull between you, heated glances, and barely concealed lust bubbling at the surface of your clammy skin. You're a liar, and you know it. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

Satoru's beginning to realise that you'll never let him in. It wouldn't hurt to try, though. Right? After all, the chemistry between you both was undeniable. You had his heart beating in your grasp. His cock, too. The steady twitches, the breathy groans, the tears gathering on his white lashes.

You've seen Satoru at his most intimate moments, his most vulnerable. You're swallowing him down, consuming him like you've consumed his entire being. Under his skin, buried deep within the chambers of his heart and mind. And he's buried deep in you, making a little home within the confinement of your snug cunt. She's so warm, isn't she? Moulding to the shape of him.

Like she remembers.

...

"My prettiest problem," Satoru's choking out, hips rocking and rolling in tandem with yours as you took him so eagerly. His voice cracks so prettily as he both praises and degrades you. It's cute.

What was that about not letting him in? All of that went out of the window the second his eyes bored into your very soul.

Your nails dug into the broad, taut muscles of his back as you shuddered, everything appearing to go in slow motion. Hit after hit of dopamine, you felt like a damn addict. You never wanted to be sober.

Mouth to mouth, as if he was resuscitating you. He brought you back to life, just to ruin you over and over. He wanted to knock those doubts out of your cock-drunk mind. You'd always be his. He'd always be yours.

Keep it hush, hush. But you think you're in love.

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This was weird to write. Idk how I feel about it LMAO

Feedback and requests always welcome <3

[cavejebus]

my adam playlist is about 20 songs now, so im gonna post it even though it is still a WORK IN PROGRESS!!!! ill add onto it when i wanna ofc, but i just wanna share a lil bit of my visionnn <3 expect a lot of linkin park lmao

some songs might not show up on the tumblr preview so i highly recommend going to the actual playlist if you have spotify!!

and batuta din moldova is there too cuz why not

below is a few categories and explanations for most songs!!!

ANGSTY SHIT

songs I thought either the lyrics or vibe had something to do with his angst... usually has to do with his background, during the trap, after the trap (whether he survived or not), or just headcanons :P

1. paper cuts - nirvana

"my whole existence is for your amusement", "why do they not try to escape?"

i THINK this song is about this dude who is like, in a really shitty kidnapping situation.... or something idk don't quote me on that :P it gives off the vibe of how it must've felt being in the bathroom all alone :( waiting for his boyfriend to save him :(

2. pictures of me - elliot smith

"you'll be the victim of your own dirty tricks", "i'm not surprised at all and really, why should i be?", "so sick and tired of all these pictures of me")

i like the whole pictures tie in.. the song isn't rlly about this, but some lyrics seem like how he would feel about being in a trap. like "I'm not surprised jigsaw chose me for this, my life is shit!!" ofc that would be if he knew who jigsaw was beforehand....... self deprecating shit yknow

3. given up - linkin park

"stuck in my head again//feels like i'll never leave this place//there's no escape", "thought i was focused, but I'm scared//i'm not prepared", "i hyperventilate//looking for help somehow, somewhere//and no one cares"

OK so first quote from this that I chose is like, how he sees his life as some useless "live to die" type thing, then the next quotes are how he realizes that he REALLY doesn't wanna die at the end of the trap. despite his whole "my life is shit I hate my job yadda yadda" talk, he still begs for his life once it's really in danger!!!

4. black heart - stone temple pilots w/ chester benningtion

"rescue me//(If you don't mind)"

lawrence......rescue this bitch....... ok but this song is mostly vibes, it can have angsty vibes :P

5. go with the flow - queens of the stone age

"she said, "i'll throw myself away//they're just photos after all", "i can't make you hang around//i can't wash you off my skin"

MORE PHOTO STUFF!!!!!! love it when it all ties in......... for the second quote its kind of a chainshipping thing... i cant make you hang around, adam goin "don't leave me!!!!" and i cant wash you off my skin, lawrence left his frickin bloody handprint on adams face.... oughh

6. and one - linkin park

"left all alone//far from my home//no one to hear me, to heal my ill heart", "it's too late to love me now//you don't even know me"

this song just generally gives angsty adam vibes, but the second quote is TOTALLY CHAINSHIPPING..... like they literally just met but already have such a connection since they went thru all that SHIT. but uh its too late for them to live a happy normal life together cuz lawrence never came back womp womp!! i can see adam sitting there waiting like "he don't even know me why tf would he come backk"

VIBES/STUFF HE'D LIKE

whether its based off of whatever tf he was listening to in his headphones that one time, or just based off of the time... i think his music taste would generally be pretty vast, while still staying around nu metal and alternative rock

1. one step closer, papercut, don't stay - linkin park

its 2001, hybrid theory has been release and is already fairly popular, i'd assume :P plus I think he'd favor linkin park since they've got a lot of complexity, as opposed to some mindless nu metal around that time

2. guns (are for pussies), down - 311

AGAIN with the rap x rock wtf!!!! he also like, cares about politics and probably trash talks all those gun loving dummies

3. brain stew - green day

who tf doesnt like this song... but it is about rotting in your room and he probably does that often <3

4. break stuff - limp bizkit

DO I HAVE TO SAY WHY I PUT THIS ONE???? ITS BREAK STUFF LIMP BIZKIT COME ON!!!!

5. the fear (flipped) - the shins

honestly have no idea why, but its giving adam!!! dunno what the song is about, but i glanced at the lyrics mentioned a bong and i was like "haha adam smokes weed"

6. tired of sex - weezer

he would like pinkerton, but i kinda only like this song off of it :P i don't listen to much weezer

7. blister in the sun, kiss off - violent femmes

i kinda just wanted to add in the acoustic sounding shit, but i do think adam would listen to violent femmes!! and you should too!!!

8. break it to me - muse

have y'all noticed that he kinda lied a lot during the trap? sure he isn't a good liar, but he seems like he's cool with lying for whatever reason... i just kinda picked this one cuz i needed to add some muse and the song kinda says shit about lying and stuff idk!!

CHAINSHIPPING SHIT

other than the angsty chainshipping in the "angsty shit" category, these just have cutesy lil lawrence x adam stuff <3 sorry to SHOVE chainshipping down your throat but whatever love is love

1. add it up - violent femmes

not specifying which lyric even though there IS one, i'm just embarrassed to say <3 but uh the only thing stopping them from making out sloppy style on top of john kramer was their chains :P

again, i WILL be adding more to this :3 but here's just my thoughts for now. im TOTES not just projecting my music taste onto adam hahahahhhhahahhahahhhaaa he's just so ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry if none of this makes sense!!!

[gravedigg]

If you're comfortable with it, I'd love to know your inspiration for the clothing design in your recent art piece :> I really love Dorian's outfit in particular!

Hi, of course! I don’t do outfit designs very often but I did have some inspiration for each character.

For Dorian I was looking at traditional Indian menswear, specifically a sherwani, dhoti pants, a dupatta stole, and some pretty shiny mojari shoes.

For Iron Bull I looked at some Mongolian traditional clothing, since I feel like there’s some similarities to Bulls in-game armor. I was looking at some deels, especially fancy fur-lined silk ones.

For Adaar I was going mostly off of the Antaam-Saar in-game, since that’s what I imagine him wearing most of the time, and he’s kinda stubborn about not wanting to dress up so I think they compromise with a slightly fancier version of his normal clothes. I also imagine his day-to-day armor being a lot like the Asaarash horse armor, you can’t get him to put a shirt on but he keeps tying more little armor plates to himself like a lunatic.

And then for Lavellan I was looking at baroque and other 17th century fashion, since he’s an Orlesian bard, and I was trying to play with pairing differently gendered clothing pieces to create something playful. (Also was just so excited to get to draw a ruff and codpiece lol)

I don’t know much about outfit designs or historical fashion so I probably made many mistakes but I wanted them all to look dapper :-)

I hope that’s helpful?

[impaladin]

getting around to pearl’s double life pov. she is making me cry chat (i’m only 2 episodes in)

i’ll do an actual design eventually. this is mostly emotion + not wanting to think. hence eye

[grassoftunnel]

Natsuhi/Kumasawa Manifesto

Yes shipping. No not even straight crack, I’m like actually serious! Though I’ll be frank this is mostly going off the wall insane and just doing what I like for fun and profit rather than serious analysis! But if you’re interested…walk with me!

I wish there had been more Natsuhi and Kumasawa interactions. Lesbionically charged ones even. I was thinking about how Kumasawa really stands apart from the rest of the servants as the lone person in Japanese clothes and who also doesn’t really gaf about the Ushiromiya’s like that (and the Ushiromiyas likewise are either really rude to her and/or dgaf). She also is always talking about the original Rokkenjima mythology. It got me thinking about what Natsuhi thinks about her, and if she took special notice of her in the sea of Western things associated with the Ushiromiya’s. Kumasawa is also a seriously minor and under-utilised character considering everything, and I think that’s a shame.

I constantly think about how Natsuhi was supposed to have an affair with Gohda, and I assume it would have gone more into her own desires as an individual outside of her really pitiful life on Rokkenjima. Since here is a guy who is her social lesser, who adores her, and has a distinctly servile nature around her. Like this is a dynamic that is going to appeal to her. I really want to push back against the whole Natsuhi as a tradwife characterisation because I think it ignores that it’s literally a mask that she’s constantly trying to convince herself she’s okay with. She’s a deeply conservative woman, but she clearly yearns for power and respect of her own. Which I think plays well into her conservatism with gender, like how she’s takes such pride in calling herself the representative to the head, and in her fantasies of a supportive Kinzo, he talks about how she would have made a wonderful son-in-law. Like she WANTS to be the one with power, the “man”, even if she’s still an extremely traditionally feminine woman. Like she wants to be of course seen as steady and reliable but also to be supported and doted on (by people beneath her i.e what I think an affair dynamic with Gohda would have been). For her knowledge and contributions to be admired and recognised and seen as valuable. It’s also interesting to contrast her to Eva who is like, outside of family conferences, living as close to her best life as is possible with a husband who respects and defers to her, even if she’s nominally taking the position of his supportive wife. Like everyone recognises her place as the matriarch of her own family. Which is NOT the case with Natsuhi. Who is taking Ls left right and center every single day of her life, emotionally and literally. However I feel like Gohda is too much of an incompetent clown to make her feel like that in an actually successfully or especially compelling manner. I also think he perhaps appeals TOO MUCH to Natsuhi on the surface level, like she’s not exactly questioning that deeply if she likes this refined and servile guy who is around her own age.

And so…enter Kumasawa. Her senior by like 30+ years, lowborn, boorish, vulgar and insubordinate, and with no (visible) special standing (unlike eg. Genji) outside of her long service. But also…BECAUSE of these things Natsuhi would feel very comfortable being, ugly, raw, needy, unreliable around her. Because why should she be ashamed to be those things around someone like Kumasawa! Natsuhi is so far above her it’s inconceivable that she would ever feel unworthy in front of her! It’s just a given! She should be happy to even be spoken to by someone so far above! But the thing is…I think Kumasawa would run rings around her. And has every reason to dislike and look down on Natsuhi, for her cruelty to the servants, her posturing, and clear failure to command the respect of the true master of the house, or even her own husband and daughter. Kumasawa is a very minor character but I like the small insubordinations that peek out, and while she’s generally sympathetic to the suffering of women, Natsuhi can be a real piece of work to the servants eg. Shannon. This can create a fun dynamic where Natsuhi can be needy and unreliable, and be outwardly cruel to Kumasawa but also have a condescending affection to her. And she’s too shortsighted and up herself to even realise Kumasawa feels the same. Or if she does it’s in a I can see you hate me, but that’s okay, because you have no choice anyway. Like a dark reflection of her own entry into the Ushiromiya family. And Kumasawa could see her as this pathetic young (hilarious to write about a 47 year old) thing who is fun to toy with, especially since Natsuhi is always throwing her weight around with the servants. The way that class and gendered dynamics intertwine would be so delicious with these two as well. Natsuhi is the social better, and the Man. Kumasawa is the woman, but not in any way to actually threaten Natsuhi in regards to conventional femininity (she’s an unrefined old biddy after all). Like it’s okay and not conflicting with her conservative values for Natsuhi to act like this because Kumasawa is so beneath her. But also…Kumasawa has 30 years on her and those 30 years are not nothing…I kind of want to see her indulge Natsuhi a bit and spoil her even if (maybe especially if…) condescendingly🙈 especially since Natsuhi’s had to grow up so fast and been forced into this wet blanket wife role. I want to see her be annoying to Kumasawa like Krauss is to her.

Also would be funny since Kumasawa’s personality and habits probably irritate her so much lmfao. Like imagine the phantom thread scene where Alma is chewing really loudly and Woodcock is going insane. Also Kumasawa is the one with real control over the servants, like it’s all Natsuhi has but it’s not even real. I want to see Natsuhi take out her pain but also try to assuage her guilt about The Child Who Would Be Sayo via her. Which is so yummy because Kumasawa’s sins are so much worse! Lol and this affair might be like literally the main outlet for Natsuhi to escape her life, but for Kumasawa who has a whole ass life and family and kids, it’s nothing. This is all not to be uncharitable to Natsuhi but I personally like to see women behaving badly and being flops in their romantic liaisons. I think there’s a fun dark version of Natsuhi where she give into her selfish desires more and kind of channels Kinzo. Like making the choice to position herself with him as a way to escape the miserable pitiful life of a housewife of an unworthy man. Usurp Krauss as Kinzo’s heir instead of trudging along the path to becoming the pitiful perpetually disrespected figure of the person who was Kinzo’s wife/ Krauss’ mother. Anyway now this is making me think a lot of a NATSUHI-Beatrice Forgery where she gets masc’d up and Kinzo-like HAHAHAHA.

[kondietorei]

alas the classic outfit swap

bonus doodle underneath ^^

drew this after realizing i only drew one sea salt ice cream orz

[lolkitkatbar]

I like that V comes back in episode 8, but I just don't like how it was executed. Mostly cuz it makes no sense. V was literally letting herself die the last time we saw her and the dingo's were going STRAIGHT to her neck! There's no way she could have dodged that attack and somehow tamed those dinos in that quick of a time. I would have much rather that she was saved by those disassembly drone hearts that Alice was stocking up. Maybe they were broken free after the dingo crashed into the fridge and they were able to run away before getting caught. Then they find V, save her from the dinosaurs, and V befriends them, explaining why she needs their help in order to save the world.

I mean, Imagine how COOL it would be if J's missiles was almost about to hit Liz and Thad, only to be kicked away by some random heart. J looks up and then BAM! V looking down at her with an army of murder drone hearts before slapping her in the face! (Or something like that idk)

[lokh]

gotta get better at talking to people

[longagoitwastuesday]

Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all, weird question time again, this time for people without POTS or other tachycardia-causing health issues. I know my heart rate is higher than it should be a lot of the time, but I can't find comparison data for not-tachycardia peoples' heart rates at any point except resting and like target rate when exercising, so my questions are these: 1. What's your heart rate when you stand up? 2. Does your heart rate go up noticeably when you are sick? There's presumably a whole spectrum of non-tachycardia heart rates at points between resting and high intensity exercise, but I have not been able to find any comparison points in between those extremes at all

[caimitos]

saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad

[bluehairmisfit]

Not to make “tag vent sunday” a thing but Idk how I can go from having a great string of days where I feel happy and confident to just. Randomly fucking dropping. And feeling like the actual worst.

[octoqi]

When I made this i was rly supposed to be doing stuff and man am I a procrastinator because instead of doing what I was needing to do I made this- woooo

[satorugojoswiife]

in light of the previous anon's ask, are there any confirmed/canon ships in jjk? i just got into the series this year and i've seen a lot of people claiming satosugu is canon, as well as yutamaki.

Kenjaku x yujis dad.

There aren't really many, if any canon ships in jjk now that I think about it??? There seems to be something between hakari and kirara but nothing has ever been officially confirmed.

They are both very popular ships, but neither satosugu or yutamaki are canon. I understand why lots of people ship them though.

I'm not 100% sure but I think a big reason for lots of people saying stsg canon is due to the 'my one and only' line in jjk0, but that is actually exclusive to the viz translation.

The direct jp to eng translation is 僕の親友だ。たった一人のね -> "It was my best friend. The only one I have"

Viz's version, 'my one and only', still technically works but tbh I kind of feel like they worded it like that on purpose, almost borderline queerbaiting, but yeah.

Aside from that the ship does have lots of other things going for it tho! Definitely an important relationship in the series and whether people would like to interpret it romantically or plantonically is up to them. As far as 'canon' goes I'd say it'd be platonic (as of right now with the information we have).

While love is a very prominent theme in the series (the most twisted curse of them all, 'teaching' sukuna about love, ect.) I feel its mostly explored in otherways than romantic. Whether it be familial, platonic, or whatever. jjk is definitely not a romance focused series, so I'm not sure if we ever will see any canon ships explored. I guess mechamaru was heavily implied to have a thing for miwa, but.. . well, we know how that ended 💀

omg so sorry I went off on a tangent there !! I feel like people focus too much on what is and isn't canon. But idk who cares about canon, just ship what you like 💖 I hope everyone enjoys shipping their fave ships and has a good day 👍💖

Also ily satosugu and yutamaki shippers I don't mean for this post to come off as dismissive of your ships I was just trying to be as factual as possible. Ignore me tho and continue loving your ships!!

[secondshark]

I miss watching diabolik lovers in middle school it’s often seen on “worst anime of all time” lists but I don’t think that’s true at all… sorry you just had to be an 11 year old girl watching anime on an illegal streaming website at 3 am