#idek man I'm tired
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eyeoftheb3h0ld3r · 3 months ago
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im going to whip you with the heart monitor belt in pe. watch out.
WHAT THE FUCK
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acowardinmordor · 9 months ago
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Eddie mumbles something about how he's always wanted to try it and kisses Steve in the Upside Down because he figures he's gonna be dead in a minute, so its whatever. Tragically rolls a 1 on that plan. Crit fails his plan so hard that he ends up surviving what the doctors kept insisting should have been fatal blood loss.
Eventually, despite his requests to the nurses and to Wayne that he not have to see Steve, the guy manages to get through, late at night when the others were at home in bed.
Steve looks serious, forehead creasing, and awkward as hell. Uncomfortable. Eddie isn't an idiot, so he spotted Robin years ago. As close as those two are, Eddie knows that Steve must know about her, and must be cool with it. But its different when its not a lack of attraction, but an unwanted one.
Steve asks, tensely, with careful words, why Eddie kissed him, and what he meant when he said he always wanted to try it.
Eddie doesn't lie.
'I didn't want to die without ever kissing someone.'
'And... I was the only one around who wasn't 14.'
Steve exhales and his shoulders relax, and the only thing Eddie can label that as is relief. He doesn't ask any more questions, and he leaves Eddie alone for the most part, even after Eddie leaves the hospital. Whenever they're in the same place though - parties, hangouts, the kids - Eddie can feel him looking. He never catches him. Steve reacts too fast, but Eddie knows he's watching him. He tries, he forces himself to keep his comments fiercely platonic. Perfectly heterosexual. He's successful.
So is Steve. Eddie doesn't catch him staring, so Eddie never sees how Steve looks at him.
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dyemelikeasunset · 1 year ago
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tumblr is doing that thing again where my comic doesn't show up on dashboard so.... if you wanna read the latest D&M either go to my blog or chek out webtoons ig
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nooradeservedbetter · 2 years ago
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High Tide
By Stria on AO3
Louis tilted his head to give more access to the stranger, canted his hips, slipped his hands under the stranger’s shirt, trying to get closer, closer. “You never told—your name,” he said, panted. “’s not good etiquette.”
The stranger snorted, a hot puff of air that made Louis shiver. The door closed with a slam, and then the stranger’s hand was palming Louis’ arse, big and secure. “Harry,” he said, mumbled against his neck, following it with a light bite. “Wasn’t really thinking about etiquette when you have an arse like this.”
At that, Louis had to scratch Harry’s back, making him hiss. “Rude,” he said, “how would I know—what name to scream if you make me come?”
Or, a positive covid test after a one night stand forces a cohabitation. And a lot of sex happens.
One Shot || Harry/Louis || 14.3K words.
Biggest thanks to @larry-hiatus for the betaing and @hellolovers13 for the moodboard!
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ingoodjesst · 2 years ago
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just two devil hunting eyepatch ladies sharing a smoke 🚬🚬
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murderoushagthesequel · 2 years ago
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💌 anon,
if you saw the blurb i wrote for you please send me another ask i need to know :weary: i feel so bad
sincerely,
hag <3
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nepsah · 2 years ago
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hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate this class so much i am so, so tempted to just Stop Doing Assignments bc i don't even fucking care that i'll "fail" it
it'll be a massive waste of money but it'd be better than banging my head against a wall repeatedly while feeling like an absolute idiot for not understanding what the fuck is supposed to be going on here
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thecherrygod · 3 days ago
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mx-melancholic · 2 months ago
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I am a jester and I literally can't tell you why I do this but I do it and I've recently properly realized it, like I have to entertain the masses. I'm so asocial I literally don't want to do anything I don't want to talk I don't want to be in anyone's company but when I am I talk and talk and talk almost until they forget it's me. I literally feel like a performer, especially if I'm not very close to the people around me or we've just met or I can tell they don't like me really. It's like every silence is my responsibility to solve and I just keep loading the empty space with line after line after line of stupid shit I have no actual desire to share but if I go quiet nobody will talk and I'll be uncomfortable so I just keep saying stuff until it sticks and then I just leech off of whatever format worked and like why do I do this. Why am I like this literally why. The amount of times I've said to myself that I'll only say the things I actually want to say, as little as it is, but I can't. Even in online messaging when I know the silence isn't real it's not like we're literally sitting together quietly, it's just a group chat and everyone's probably busy but no I have to yap and blab and regret every letter I type because it's so stupid and pointless and I don't even care it literally only drains me but I can't navigate the implication that I'm boring people, even people who are obviously not even bored. Like. How am I so not talkative and inserting myself everywhere with constant noise at the same time
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returntotheground · 7 months ago
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you know. i never before ran into this issue where i find it hard to put any effort into a report because i fundamentally do not respect the professor for this class
but here we are
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formulawolff · 26 days ago
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"my hero" - m.v.
pairing: social worker!reader x max verstappen
word count: idek tbh (i’m posting this on my lunch break hehe)
warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, max in bf mode, long distance couple, cursing here and there, mentions of mental health, mentions of mental health disorders, mentions of physical health, yada, yada, yada
a/n: i know i said i was working on requests but this idea would not leave my brain all day. i couldn't stop thinking about it so i had to write it. (it's def a little self-indulgent) i hope y'all enjoy!
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"ah! there you are. i can see you now!""
a giggle bubbles up in your throat, your lips forming a wide smile, "hi baby, how are you?"
he shrugs, the image distorted for about a millisecond. he comes into frame once again, slightly pixelated. however, you can make out the sleepy grin plastered across his face, and the twinkle in his eye as he looks into the camera.
max verstappen, three time world driver’s champion, is on facetime with you, donned in nothing but a black cotton tee and his boxers. you can tell from the background that he’s in his motorhome, settled in his room.
his hair is a disheveled mess, sticking up haphazardly. he more than likely just got out of the shower, as the fabric of the tee clung to his toned frame. underneath his eyes were two faint circles, the skin slightly puffy.
yet, here he was, calling you at god knew what hour just to hear the sound of your voice.
"tired. very fucking tired."
"i can imagine so," you nod, typing along at your laptop, "what time is it there?"
he hums, leaning over his phone, "it's about eleven thirty?"
"max!" your eyes widen, "you need to get some sleep. it's qualifying tomorrow!"
"and?" he counters, arching a brow, "i wanted to hear how your day went. from your messages, it seemed like it was quite eventful."
"i'm just wrapping up my notes now," you exhale, your shoulders slumping slightly, "it was a long day."
"i can imagine my baby," he coos, settling underneath the covers, "tell me all about it."
"i can assure you being a case worker is not nearly as riveting as a formula one driver," you snort, shaking your head, "you go first."
"nope," he was not budging, his attention still fixated solely on you, "tell me about your day, and then i'll share about mine. it's only fair."
"well," you wrinkle your nose, glancing over the open document on your laptop screen, "my day started with one of my clients experiencing a small crisis. she was without food so she called me, asking if i could take her to the nearest pantry. while i was with her, another client of mine called asking if i could transport him to his appointment.
i probably could have, but he reached out to me only fifteen minutes before his appointment time. i received my new staffing form today. i have a couple of clients who are in need of housing so i had to make some calls to some local agencies."
"and how did that go?" you can't help but feel heat flourishing into your cheeks at the intrigue laced in his tone, "were you able to make some progress?"
"not really," you inhale sharply, "housing is really difficult to find right now. it's sort of like when your tires are giving out, but you need them to last a few more laps. you have to remain hopeful so that you can keep pushing."
“i like that analogy,” he fights a yawn, but continues regardless, “that’s a good one. i’m going to use that.”
“as long as you credit me,” you muse, clicking your mousepad as you finalize your note, “how was practice today?”
“so-so,” he chirps, “i missed you a lot today. thought about you nearly every second of the practice session. you’re flying out next week, right?”
you nod, shutting your laptop, “yes. i’ll be leaving wednesday evening and catching a late flight. hopefully when i land, there will be this insanely handsome dutch man waiting for me.”
“is that right?” max’s dimples appear, causing your heart to skip a beat, “i’m hoping that my good luck charm arrives safe and sound. i can’t wait to see her.”
“counting down the minutes are we?”
“you have no idea,” carefully, he plucks his phone from his makeshift stand, bringing you closer into the bed with him, “will you stay on till i fall asleep?”
at his request, there’s a tug at your heart. fuck, if only you were with him. then he would have been able to lay on you until he dozed off. his head would have been snuggled into uour collabone, your hands tangled in his hair, playing with it as his chest steadily rose and fell.
if only you were there. if only you were an influencer or a model. if only you could take work with you, dropping everything to fly all over the world. if only you weren’t separated by time zones, where you had to carefully coordinate facetime calls.
if only you weren’t long distance, then maybe you wouldn’t feel like this.
if only.
“hey,” max’s voice is merely a whisper, “are you okay?”
your lower lip trembles, tears welling up, threatening to spill over. there’s a choking sound, as you attempt to suppress a sob.
yet, it was too late. they were streaming down your cheeks now, your hands instinctively shielding your face.
“baby,” max murmurs, “what’s going on?”
“this shit sucks,” you shake your head, the words strained, “i hate that i’m not with you right now. i hate that we’re long distance. i hate that i have to stay here and—“
“but your clients need you,” his tone is delicate, “you’re the one person they can count on when everything else is going to shit. they need you like i need you. i can tell you had a long day baby, but i’m here. i’m here for you, no matter what.”
“i-i love you,” you manage to sputter out, wiping your cheeks, “i love you, max.”
“and i love you more than you’ll ever know,” in the frame, a pillow is held against his chest, “i’m even cuddling this pillow right now pretending that it’s you.”
“i can’t believe you fell in love with some plain girl from the states,” you sigh, resting your head against the couch cushion, “out of everyone in the world, you happened to fall in love with me.”
“you’re not just any girl from the states,” for a moment, you’re shocked at the firmness in his tone, “you’re my girl. it takes someone special to do what you do. you’re my hero baby. i aspire to be as strong as you.”
“i love you,” the corners of your lips curl into a quaint smile, “am i really your hero?”
“of course,” it doesn’t even take him a second to respond, “like i said, you’re the strongest person i know. you inspire me.”
“i can’t wait to see you,” you murmur, taking note of the way his eyes were drooping, “i’ll stay on till you sleep, my love. it seems like you need it.”
“hey,” one eye opens, barely a slit, “i know this shit sucks right now, but we’ll make it. okay? one day you’ll get to come home to me and tell me all about your day rather than calling. it’ll be worth it. i promise.”
“i hope so. i love you, maxie. sleep well, my love. i’ll be there before you know it.”
“try to have a good evening,” you could barely make out the statement, as he was beginning to doze off, “just end the call when i’m asleep. i’ll message you in the morning.”
“i’ll be here,” opening your laptop, you prop it against the screen, “goodnight, maxie.”
“night, night, baby.”
as sleep takes a hold of the dutch driver, you remain on the call, opening youtube. cautiously, you click on one of your favorite videos. it’s a montage of all of max’s wins, starting from the 2016 spanish grand prix.
the video begins to play, the volume carefully adjusted so that it doesn’t wake him.
as your gaze shifts to your phone once again, you can’t help but hear his words ringing in your ears.
one day this would all be worth it.
and one day, max verstappen would be able to be with his hero.
every single day for the rest of his life.
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scrollonso · 7 months ago
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Crazy In Love¹
A Strollonso AU where Fernando succeeds the Spanish throne and makes it his goal as king to make the Prince of France his groom. (3.4k words, dark!nando) [@catboysracing] {l could've made nando a lot worse but I didnt want this to be 10k words 😭 this is a very rushed rough draft so if i make this a series it'll be more drawn out,, or maybe not idek its 02:26 im tired ☠️}
masterlist - next part
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Lawrence stepped out of his carriage, holding his hand out to his wife as she carefully placed a foot on the ground, using Lawrence's shoulder for support as she planted both of her shoes on the stone pathway below them.
Lance peeked his head out before exiting, following his fathers lead in holding out his hand to help his sister, Chloe, out as well. His other siblings had already been married off and attending this ball in the Royal Palace of Madrid was his parents' way of finding their youngest children suitors.
"Very good, my boy" The king praised before the four of them began their walk into the palace. They were shown to the ballroom where most of the guests were straight away. The room was all white with gold detailing, artwork littered on the ceiling as spirals of gold framed the dozens of doors surrounding them
"Pardon me" The queen spoke softly, lightly touching her husbands arm before disappearing through the crowd to make her way to Maria Theresa the Archduchess of Austria.
"Excuse me, Father, Can I go speak with Marie?" Chloe spoke seconds later, her father simply nodding at the girls request. She smiled and muttered a thank you before finding her way to her friend, similarly to her mother.
Lance hated these things. Being in a closed space full of hundreds of people. He couldn't help the sour expression on his face as he looked around the bright room, eyes settling on his half brother Esteban. Lance was more than aware of his fathers infadelity and how he had three children with other women. Lance wasn't too fond of the younger two but he'd grown up close with Esteban and his mother Pauline de Mailly.
"Stop scowling, Lance." Lawrence spoke sternly, greeting his youngest son with a slap to his back
"Sorry, Father." Lance spoke, quick to fix his face as he turned to the king "May I be excused, Father? Esteban is on the other side of the ballroom."
"Go on."
Lance couldn't help but smile as he reached Estebans side, being quick to give him a nod
"Votre Altesse" Esteban hummed, trying to stop himself smiling as his little brother rolled his eyes at the title, he never called Lance Your Majesty unless he was teasing the younger boy "Brother, How are you?"
"I'm well, how long have you been here?"
"Oh, not long. Me and my mother arrived no more than an hour ago." Esteban spoke, Lance nodding at the response
"Have you had any of the food?" Lance asked, hoping his brother would say no so they could eat together
"I have not, shall we go together?" Lance smiled once more, nodding as he followed the older man to the long table of food and refreshments.
Fernando was speaking with Duke Maximilian III Joseph of Bavaria regarding the state of their allies during the ongoing war when he first spotted the French prince, his justaucorps a warm brown embroidered with intricate and colourful flowers. The boys hair was long and wavy, he was constantly brushing it out of his face as he spoke with the slightly older man next to him.
The new king was unsure of who the man next to him was but he was well aware of who Lance was. Fernando had met with Lawrence the second Ferdinand had died, as the new king it was his duty to keep up alliances between the dynasties. With Spain and France being the largest two dynasties as of then, having a relationship with Lawrence was very important to him.
As the conversation came to an end he excused himself to find the Frenchman again, pleased at how easy it was. He was standing off to the side as the man from before spoke with a woman from Sweden, Fernando taking the opprotunity to finally speak to him.
"Monseigneur Lance, it's a pleasure to meet you." Fernando bowed his head, holding a hand out to the shorter prince who's eyes shot up, they were hazel and seemed to sparkle in the dimly lit room.
"Sire," Lance spoke softly, taking Fernandos hand as the Spaniard placed a kiss on his knuckles, the younger boys face flushing pink at the usually meaningless action "the pleasure is all mine."
"I hope your journey here wasn't too strenous, it's a long ride from Versailles." Fernando spoke, letting go of the boys hand then stepping back slightly
"Of course not, I always prefer the carriage rides to the actual balls, anyway" he stated matter-of-factly, only realizing how rude it sounded seconds later. "Apologies, I'm not sure why I said that."
Fernando smiled, covering his mouth to let out a small laugh "There's no need to apologize, I feel the same."
Lance wasn't sure how to respond, all he could do was flash the king a smile, not expecting to relate to him of all people.
"Is it stuffy in here to you?" The Spaniard asked, cocking his head to the side before continuing "Would you like to ride around with me? Get some fresh air."
"I'd love to." The teenager responded with no hesitation, face lighting up at the idea
"Let's go, then. I'll give you a personal tour of my dynasty as long as you'll return the favour." Fernando said, holding his hand out once more, but this time to steal Lance away
Fernando stood beside the door of the carriage, helping the prince get in before getting in himself. It was nice, Lance thought, being treated how princesses are treated. As the carriage began moving he couldn't get the feeling of the Spanish mans lips on his knuckles out of his mind, it was embarrassing just how much he had replayed it already.
"Will your family be staying the night? Most of my guests are but if you're leaving before dawn I'll be sure to return you in time." The king spoke, Lance's eyes focusing on the mans mouth as his lips moved, hardly registering his words.
"I'm sure we will be, my mother and sister prefer to get a decent amount of rest before returning home after balls."
"Perfect, that gives us plenty of time, then." Fernando nodded to himself, moving to sit on the same side as Lance as he pulled back the curtains, the sunset illuminating the streets perfectly.
The smaller boys eyes found their way outside, practically twinkling as he admired just how gorgeous it looked at this time of day
"It's beautiful" He whispered, not bothering to turn and see the older mans reaction
"It is" The Spanish man said quietly, he knew what Lance meant, the landscape was beautiful. Of course Fernando knew that, he lived here, but he only thing he could see was the Prince next to him, he was truly beautiful.
The two continued down the road for a few more minutes before they reached town, Fernando noticing his guards escorting Jesuits from their home right away. He swiftly closed the curtains and began distracting Lance, not wanting the sweet boy to witness the men in black cassocks being pushed and shoved through the streets of the small town they had entered. The new king had made it his first order to expel every resident of the Spanish Empire that was concerningly loyal to the Pope as soon as he had been crowned. He would never admit it as he was too full of pride but he felt threatened by the men devoting themselves to the pope. He was above the pope. He was king. He had power and he was going to make sure every commoner he ruled over was aware of that.
"Hm?" Lance hummed as he noticed the curtains draw shut, turning his body to face the larger man, having not taken in just how drastic their size difference was. Not only was there a difference in power from Spanish King to French Prince but there was also a difference in aura, the mans eyes on him felt intimidating, Lance gazing hesitently at the man as the carriage fell quiet, Fernandos lidded eyes not leaving Lance's for a second
"We're rebuilding in this area, I'd hate for you to see how much of a mess it is right now." He lied, the words slipping off of his tongue as if they were as true as scripture, reciting it as if it was a verse he'd spent weeks remembering.
The credulous boy just nodded, having way too much trust in the man he'd become acquainted with just minutes prior.
"I'm sure it looks fine, every part of your kingdom I've seen so far has been stunning." The Frenchman reassured, wondering if maybe the new King was insecure about the state of his colonies.
"Why, thank you, Monseigneur Lance." Fernando smiled, partially because of the sweet words coming from the boy at his side but also because of just how easy he was to trick "you're too kind."
"No need to be so formal, Your Majesty." Lance scooted back, eyes following Fernando as his arm moved to open the curtains once more, now far enough away from his men to insure Lance saw nothing. "It's just us"
"If I'm to just call you Lance then please, call me Fernando."
"Well, Fernando." Lance started, looking outside of the carriage before turning back to the man "Can you tell me more? About your dynasty. I've only learned what's in the books"
"You've read books about my kingdom?" Fernando laughed dryly, finding it funny how the Prince of France spent his free time reading about the Spanish Empire.
"I've read about many things." Lance nodded, locking his fingers together in his lap "My Father would rather me learn than fight in the war."
"Ah, yes." Fernando nodded, having forgotten about what was currently happening on his allies land. "I understand where he's coming from. I was hesitant to put my sons in command as well."
"How many sons do you have, Fernando?" Lance asked, not having read much about the new kings family
"Three, they're all around your age" Fernando looked outside, smiling to himself as he watched Lance turn to look as well "Carlos is my eldest, then Lando, then my youngest boy Oscar."
"You have only sons?" Lance asked, still looking outside, watching as their surroundings began to get darker and darker
"Yes, just three boys."
"What about their mother? There isn't a queen, is there?"
Fernando shook his head, leaning on the wall behind him before responding, arms crossed over his chest as he watched "Their mother died a few years ago, Tuberculosis they think."
"Oh." He whispered, only now turning to look at the Spaniard, biting his lip slightly in an effort to hide his newfound discomfort "I'm sorry, I- I didn't know."
"Don't apologize." He spoke, harsher than he had before. "Was nothing I could do, the boys are old enough to deal with it and I had more important things to do than wallow in my own self pity."
Lance just nodded, fidgeting with his fingers as he avoided the Spaniards gaze, feeling embarrassed for even bringing it up, although a part of him was relieved to find out the King didn't have anyone at his side
The man reached out to grab Lance's hand, quickly letting his coachman know they were getting out and to wait for them.
The naive Prince followed blindly, letting the man ahead of him pull him through unfamiliar land as if they'd known one another all their lives. Fernando couldn't help but take note of everything Lance was so quick to let him do to him, he couldn't help but wonder just how far he could push it.
They eventually reached a short stone pathway and at the end was a small pavillion with a bench nestled towards the back where plants were growing up the wood. By then it'd gotten darker, Fernando glad to have matches on him as he lit the lamps around the wooden structure
"Woah" Lance breathed out, admring the garden he'd found himself in as Fernando dusted off the bench, still holding onto the boys hand as he pulled him to take a seat
"I haven't been here in ages. I figured if I was going to go back it'd be fun to not be alone." Fernando hummed, the last time he was here he'd killed his father.
"Gosh, if I lived closer I'd spend all my time here!" Lance laughed, smiling up at the man who had yet to take a seat
"I used to, when I became King the first time I hardly had time" He spoke, looking around as soon as he finished, eyes falling on the steps in front of him, the place he'd met his father before quite literally stabbing him in the back. It was what the old bastard deserved. Without his actions Ferdinand would've never became king and Fernando would still be stuck in Naples.
"The first time?" Lance hummed, unbuttoning his justacourps and sliding it off before folding it neatly in his lap
"Si." Fernando nodded, finally taking a seat next to the Prince "Before my brother died I was the king of Naples and Sicily. My eldest, Carlos, is taking over as soon as he finishes being stubborn about his knightly duties."
The boy laughed, he'd grown so used to just hearing people around him speak that everything about Fernandos accent made his sarcasm even funnier. "You're very experienced, Fernando"
"I am." He confirmed, meaning it in more ways than the innocent boy could imagine. As a ruler? Yes, of course. Killer? He supposes. Husband? To some extent. Sexually? Very.
"How long did you rule over Naples and Sicily?" He asked, eager to learn more about the mysterious man beside him
"Twenty-four years, I took over when I was eleven so my mother helped me rule until I was married off and began having children."
"Wow, I feel like I haven't done anything as prince" Lance laughed, tracing the neatly done sewing on the cloth he had on his lap "My father took over France at five, his mother helped him until he was thirteen as well, but sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be king."
"You could be my king." The Spaniard spoke calmly, not sure why Lance began to react the way he did
"Hm?" He questioned, unsure if he was understanding the mans accent correctly
"Be my king. I have no bride, nor do I have a groom." The man shrugged, watching as Lance's facial expression controrted "It is not the 16th century anymore, is normal to have two kings, Lancito."
Lance was aware that it'd become more normalized to see two men ruling side by side, a part of him had always yearned for the connection between a King and his King Consort but until now he'd figured it'd just been out of pure curiosity and a need to figure out the unknown
"Are you asking me to madry you, Fernando?" Lance asked, knowing it seemed obvious enough but he had to be sure, maybe this was just a Spanish thing.
"Consider it." Fernando spoke, holding Lance's hands in his own "Don't say no straight away, this will give us both what we want."
"I'm not sure my father would say yes-" Lance began, eyebrows furrowing as the Spaniard cut him off
"You're father likes me, I'm sure he'll be delighted to hear his son has been proposed to by none other than his greatest allies king."
"I know, I'm just not sure he'll be comfortable with me being so far from home." Lance's voice got quieter as he spoke, not wanting his words to upset the man before him
"I'll take you to visit every chance we get, it'll be like you never left." His voice softened, realizing that if he was to get the French Kings son to marry him he'd have to play nice.
"Well, then.." He dragged out his words, looking at their hands together before responding. There was such a drastic contrast between them, the Spaniards naturally tan and thicker hands making the boys pale and lanky hands seem even smaller. "I suppose" He finished, figuring he wouldn't find anyone better than the Spaniard. He'd seen his siblings get married to ugly and unjust aristocrats that he was relieved someone so kind was asking for his hand in marriage.
The taller mans lips curled, he quickly stood up and pulled Lance to him, the Frenchman leaving his coat on the bench beside where he'd sat before being greeted by the sudden feeling of lips on his.
It was embarrassing to think about how bad of a kisser he had to be. He just tried to follow Fernandos lead, fingers trailing over the gold detailing of his dresscoat as the kiss began to deepen, the kings hands finding their way to the boys waist to pull them even closer, bodies practically connected as Lance settled on the tips of his toes in order to make this easier.
Once Fernando pulled away Lance felt light headed, lips now puffy and red as he breathed harshly, covering his face from the man out of pure embarrassment.
"Do not hide from me, Lancito." He cooed, leaning over to pull the boys hands from his face, thumb brushing over his lips before he spoke again "te ves guapo" the king whispered, Lance unable to hold back a smile as he registered Fernandos words, face flushing a familiar pink as the man called him beautiful.
"We should get back" Lance said softly, face turning to meet the Spaniards gaze as his hands lingered on his chest
"You're right, I should probably ask for your fathers blessing, eh?" They laughed, the prince nodding as the older man grabbed a lantern, calmly finding the way back to the carriage
Fernando couldn't keep his hands off Lance during the short ride back, hand inching further up the boys thigh as his face got hotter, now hidden in the collar of his casaca. It was painfully obvious how inexperienced the boy was, Fernando wasn't sure what he'd done in his past life to deserve such a reward but he was beyond grateful.
It didn't progress past teasing touches, Fernando curious to see just how worked up he could get the boy before he disappeared back into the ballroom to speak to his father.
The answer was very, as they came to a stop outside the palace Lance couldn't hide the look of pure arousal on his face as he felt the Spaniards hands leave, whining at the feeling of his touch fading
"Fer..." He whispered, grabbing weakly onto the mans sleeves as he begged for just a little more
"Patience, let's see what your father says before continuing this, mi rey" Fernando negotiated, kissing the boys jaw softly before exiting the carriage, disappearing inside before Lance had the chance to follow behind.
"How have you been, Your majesty?" The King asked, earning a short response from his ally. "I've come to ask something of you, if you don't mind."
"Go ahead" Lawrence nodded, watching the Spaniard with curiousity
"I'd like to ask for your blessing, King Lawrence." He stated plainly, looking the man in front of him in the eyes "I'd like to make your son my King Consort."
Lawrence nodded right away, arm moving to pat the tanned mans back, smiling similarly to Lance "I'd love to give you my son, I'm shocked you felt the need to ask, Sire."
They both laughed, Lawrence's practically coming from his stomach as he closed his eyes, Fernando returning a short, knowing, and dry laugh.
Lance wandered back into the ballroom, greeted with a light hug from his mother, it wasn't normal in his family for her to show affection to him like this so he was almost worried something had gone wrong but as soon as he saw Lawrence and Fernando side by side he knew what'd happened, he was now set to marry the King of Spain.
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hwanchaesong · 7 months ago
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Altschmerz Teaser
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a/n: imma give you a sneak peek for now to give y'all some idea about my works (i'm terribly sorry bc like i said, i type so slow idek why and my brain lags every 5 mins) this is an apology i can manage for the mean time 😭😭 pls do not hesitate to tell me, whatever means, if you wanted to be added to the taglist, tysm! 🥀✨
genre: angst, fluff, smut, university au, part of the ATEEZ Minisode Series
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It is a good day to live and breathe like any normal person.
The weather is actually nice, a little cloudy with a nice touch of spring air, the skies are bluer than Taylor Swift's eyes and said singer's song titled 'The Man' is blasting through your earphones. You feel vigorous, your pristine white uniform for your medical course gives you a certain glow. Your classes went well, acing all of the assessments without much studying done, oh, truly a lucky day for you.
Then all hell breaks loose when your lovely friend, Felix, spills the tea during lunch at the cafeteria, his thick aussie accent that you usually love screeched like a racing car's tire in your ears.
"I heard that Kim Hongjoong of the music department has a crush on you."
"What the fuck?"
He held his hands up, explaining that he heard it while passing by their building. The way people narrated the 'girl' sounds exactly like you, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the information as Felix lists out the descriptions that caught his ears.
'She's from the Allied of Health and Sciences department.'
'She's really intelligent and kind, well, that's what the professors had said.'
'A fluent speaker! Shy at times but really bubbly with her friends.'
"I did say that I want some spice in my boring college life but not like this!" you exclaimed, stabbing a kimchi with your fork and aggressively eating it, the spice further heating your head up.
"Not like what?" just then, your other friend Lily, sat down beside you with her own tray of food.
"Felix here is spreading some fake news, he said that someone named Kim Hongjoong has a crush on me." you explained, side eyeing the freckled man before continuing to eat the remainder of your lunch.
"Oh yeah, he does. Some people are already shipping you together."
Then you choked at Lily's nonchalant reply, making her grimace and pat your back as an attempt to soothe your burning pharynx.
You did not expect her to agree at all, and you made sure to tell her that with the way you glared at her.
"He's not that bad, yes he is a music major like Hee-" you stare at her hard, not wanting to hear that specific name. Lily clears her throat and rephrases her sentence, "It is true that he is a music major, but you don't have to lump them all in one category. He's nice, my cousin knows him."
Felix nods, gulping his food before speaking, "Plus, it's just a crush. It's not like he's gonna court you all of a sudden."
They have a point, you don't have to make a big deal out of it. Besides, it's a rumor, most of the time it's plain bullshit.
You need to calm down. You're having a great day, a great start of the semester and you'll be damned if it'll be ruined this early.
Then the students at the library squealed like dying squirrels when they saw you enter. The other music majors at the university gates gave you a wink, hell, even one of the freshmen congratulated you and even said, 'You and Hongjoong-hyung will look good together!'
You mustered a smile throughout the ordeals, opting to finish the day peacefully like how you started it. Whatever happened today shall pass.
Well.. it should be but then you find yourself stalking the man's social media. You have already found his facebook, twitter, instagram, even his fucking youtube account (he has uploaded some guitar covers and you have to admit he's great at playing the instrument.)
You could defend yourself and blame curiosity later, but now, you'll indulge in some information that you could find on the internet. Surely you haven't seen him before, his face is unfamiliar, heck, you don't even know his name, not until your friends brought it up today.
Kim Hongjoong. A music major born on November 7, plays a lot of musical instruments, can write lyrics and is also a good producer. He sings, raps and dances (he was tagged in a dance cover on instagram, courtesy of someone named Park Seonghwa.) A passionate one in his career you assume as you watch one of his vlogs on facebook. You also listened to his recordings posted in his accounts, and you have to give him applause for his aesthetic instagram account.
He takes nice photos of his surroundings, even himself, and he does know how to make himself look good. He definitely knows the colors that suit him, outfits that make him stand out yet fully blended in the crowd if he wanted to. His hair is also unique, seems healthy despite the dyes that had stayed there for months before being layered by another one.
You lie on your bed, thinking that maybe the man himself isn't that bad. That you may have judged him early prior to knowing him. A fault on your part but it's not like you're going to meet or get to know him or the likes, you were simply curious about him and now that you have seen that his surface isn't dry nor rotten, your curiosity shall now die before the cat inside you does... and it's 3 in the fucking morning and you have 7 am classes so really, you'll still die either way.
What you did not expect though, as you wake up at 6:00 am, getting ready with max speed, was a notification that had you stumbling over your feet.
'Hongstagram has followed you back!'
Follow you back what? Since when did you follow him on his instagram?
You were careful! Very careful in what you were clicking and all that shit, not wanting to leave a trace of your visit in his social media accounts but you were so fucking wrong. You could blame the fuzzy feeling of drowsiness but you were so sure that you didn't click anything out of the ordinary.
Fuck your life.
That was your motto all day long, going as far as being dramatic with your friends during lunch break. Rambling about how he'll think you're a creep for stalking him or, or, how he'll think that you're interested in him when you swear to every rat out there that you're most certainly not.
It was horrible, except for the fact that you gotta eat coffee jelly for dinner because your father bought tons during a sale in the grocery and he couldn't resist his sweet tooth ass to buy some desserts.
Maybe you can sleep all of this away, yes, one night of beauty sleep will rejuvenate all of your worries except when Kim Hongjoong himself messaged you.
You jumped up from your bed when you accidentally tapped the notification on the upper half of your phone, due to your persistent tapping all over the screen because fuck that chop chop filter in tiktok (you're pretty sure you can cut that cucumber up to 200), opening the message and you contemplated whether to left it on read or be polite enough to reply.
You chose the latter, not really wanting for your name to be tarnished if this Hongjoong guy goes around and says that you're a snob.
Hongstagram: Hey Y/N! Sorry to disturb you, but may I talk to you tomorrow?
You: Good evening Hongjoong! I'm sorry my sched is kind of packed tomorrow, you can tell it now though.
Hongstagram: It's kind of embarrassing to say it through dms.
Oh my god. No fucking way. He's gonna confess.
Hongstagram: But okay, here goes nothing.
Hongstagram: I heard that you're one of the best students, so, could I borrow your notes for History? I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now because Mr. Lee talks about you every time he's in class and tbh, I couldn't care less about the minor subject. But still, I need to pass it in order to advance soo..
He was yapping so hard and you're ridiculing him inside your head but, the guy needs help and you're not some kind of witch with a stone heart. So you, being the kindest soul out there, decided to help him out.
You agreed to give him your notes and print-outs, but you didn't reply to him when he sent you a time and place for the meet-up.
Imagine his surprise when you arrived at the said café, on time and with a big, thick envelope in your hands, sitting in front of him without any trace of hesitance.
"Hi." you greeted him calmly, offering a handshake which he accepted with a smile, "Y/N here. Nice meeting you Hongjoong."
"Likewise. Thank you for entertaining my request." he replied, short but enthusiastic nonetheless.
Still, the awkward air is suffocating you and thank god the coffee and pastries can provide you some distraction because you truly cannot do this without going crazy.
Whatever confidence you had before was some kind of fallacy because you're a nervous wreck in front of this man. You're suddenly hit by the realization that this is the same guy that was rumored to have a crush on you and now you're sitting in this coffee shop with him, alone.
If someone from your university sees you two, that will surely cause a ruckus and your friends will probably bombard you with questions.
"Thank you for this, by the way." Hongjoong speaks up and it brings you back to reality, this time, you took a moment to take him in.
He really is fashionable, you'll give him that. His previously pink hair had turned into burgundy, he pairs his denims with leather better than anybody, and his color scheme for today is on point.
"You're most certainly welcome, I-"
"Listen, I know you know the rumors."
He cuts you off, rude. But he's getting straightforward now, nice.
Then you held a breath, is he actually confessing? If he did, how should you react? How should you answer?
You gulped, your palms getting sweaty and you couldn't help the tiny bit of excitement that coursed through your veins.
Your first ever confession after your dark, thunderous days of romance.
"Yes, I heard about it." you answered truthfully, giving him a small smile which he purposely avoided. This baffled you, shouldn't he be happy that you're giving him the time of your day?
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience but my friends are idiots. It's not you that I like." he admits, biting his lower lip and cautiously peers over your confused form.
You almost sputtered your coffee out, the sweetness of your iced hazelnut compensates well to the bitterness that was starting to spread out.
You faked a cough, sporting a feigned understanding countenance before asking for more elaboration, "If not me, then who is?"
He beams at you giddily and his answer almost made you want to leave.. almost.
"It's your friend, the cute one that you always help out during 21st Century Literature, Sakura." 
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taglist:
@hyuckilstan @gwenchwana @minkiflwr @yeosangsbiceps @charreddonuts @justyoonsworld @hwadump @marievllr-abg
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gothic-thoughts · 10 months ago
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So Damn Into You
(yeah, i'm offically into him, idek how. He's cool so he gets the pretty title now 💙💙)
König x Black Fem Reader Fluff
Friends2Lovers, Forbidden LoveAU, Medic!Reader
CW: Mutual pining, secret relationship
Word Count: 1924 (give or take)
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Like any other soldier, when König would get injured in the fields or on the training grounds, he would rush to the infirmary. Unlike any other soldier, he would be there looking for you specifically so you could fix him up. While his visits were usually more spaced out, this was the third time this month that he was making his way to the med bay to see his friend and favorite medic; not just because he likes the way you treat him, but because his eyes can stare at someone all day without getting tired.
He walks in, towering over everybody enough to see you bandaging another wounded soldier so the head nurse assigns another nurse to him to try and replace you, but he declines her help, disgusted that she would ever try to replace you. The head nurse tried to convince him to cooperate, but he ignored her, clenching his hand into a fist as he calls you. You look up with a smile when hearing his voice. The head nurse in charge of tending to his wounds steps out of the way, now revealing you to König. 
“Colonel König,” You chuckle, quickly finishing up with the soldier’s bandages, “You're back...again?”
“Uh, yes.” His Austrian accent speaks over the noise of the area, “I believe my skills have made me a bit careless.”
You walk over. “I'm seeing you here too often, sir. I'm starting to think you're getting shot as an excuse to see me.”
He smiles under his mask, knowing you were correct. “I assure you that it’s an accident every time. Besides it’s nothing but a little slit across my arm this time. See?”
He raises his arm slightly to show you the cut through his shirt and arm, his words downplaying how open it actually was. You hold his arm and examine it, missing when his eyes narrow at your chief nurse, shooting a glare at her.
"See? Nothing more than a scratch."
"It's more like a slash, Colonel."
"In any case, I know you can handle it; if your superior will allow it."
You hide a smirk and look at the head nurse, waiting for her to give permission, knowing her word couldn't outweigh the Colonel's. She stares at the two of you, unsure of what to say before she gives a deep sigh a nodding. You throw a quick ‘thank you” over your shoulder as you carefully guide the giant man to an infirmary bed and sit next to it, keeping his forearm raised as you examine the slash across it.
König watches you intently, sniper hood hiding his cold expression, his eyes darting between his bleeding arm and your latex-gloved hands, then over to the other soldiers being treated, seeing their eyebrows either raised or furrowed at the scene. You bend down to get your medical instruments under the bedside table, missing König’s glare in the soldiers’ direction, drawing away their stares as you sit back up with gauze, wound-cleaning saline, and a suture kit. 
“I can’t believe an enemy got this close to you, Colonel.”
“Ja, me neither.” König’s knowing smirk grows behind his mask, “I admit, not my proudest moment. Though, this is nothing compared to what I did to his head."
“You mean his face?”
"What's left of it, yes."
You couldn’t help but snicker at his nonchalant tone mixed with the morbidity of his comment. He makes an effort to suppress the smile playing at the edges of his mouth wondering why you did so.
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It had been 3 weeks since the last time she patched me up and I found myself searching for another reason to return to the infirmary but my stitches were not yet healed and I haven’t had any missions to go on to warrant any other injuries. So I was stuck for weeks without seeing (Y/n)’s face brighten when I walked into the office. I had no other choice but to talk to her about something, anything. It was driving me mad not being in her presence for this long.
Hell, at the very least, I would walk by the infirmary hoping that she’d see me through the window and wave but, I've had no reason to be in the medical wing without looking suspicious. But today, I had a mission that I'd be gone for a little over 2 weeks, so whether I liked it or not I needed to have a clear head. I had about 30 minutes before the chopper left, giving me enough time to speak with her.
"Nurse (Y/n)," I smile as she opens the infirmary door.
“Holy—!” She rests her hand over her racing heart, looking up at me with wide eyes, “Jesus, Colonel! You scared the shit outta me.”
"Oh, I'm sorry." My gaze wandered down, taking in her clothes without her uniform over it. “I didn’t mean for that, I had just walked up to the door.”
She lets out a huff and a chuckle, “Goddamn, it’s even worse cuz you’re bigger than the door.”
I chuckle, “Again, I am sorry about that."
Her squinted eyes roam my body, “You don't look like you're bleeding, Colonel. Or even hurt for that matter...”
"Nein," I replied, with a chuckle keeping his hands behind his back. "Not this time."
(Y/n) raises her eyebrow in disbelief, “No bullets? No gashes?”
“No bullets, no gashes. Can we... well if you're not busy, can you...?" I close my eyes and groan, "I want to speak to you."
“Oh, uh... yes sir...?” 
I only wish she could see the speed my smile instantly drops behind my mask from seeing her smile fade and her voice turning more professional and cold. Did I sound too assertive? I didn't mean to, I just wanted to get it out. Now she probably thinks she's done something wrong.
(Y/n) hurriedly steps aside so I can step inside the mostly empty infirmary, giving me more butterflies since I'm not used to us being practically alone. Bad enough I don’t know how she’ll react if she’s expecting something serious and it's just something about my feelings.
"Is now a bad time?"
“No, sir, I was just going on break.” 
"You do not have to call me 'sir', (Y/n); you know 'König' is just fine." I give a fake chuckle to lighten the mood once again, "You aren't in any trouble."
"I'm... not?"
I knew I sounded too commanding. "No, no; of course not. I just need to speak with you before this mission starts. I'll be gone for about 2 weeks."
"Oh, whew. Okay, what's up?" 
"Do you have anywhere more... private where it's just the two of us?"
“I mean the other nurses will be in and out so no. The best I can do is—” (Y/n) pulls me over to a gurney, instructing me to stand as close as possible to it as she draws the medical curtain closed— “That?”
“It’s..." I smirk behind my mask, heart fluttering at the way she takes initiative, “Perfect, (Y/n).”
"Okay, good. At the very least, we'll whisper."
I take a deep breath, ready to speak, but the inhale takes in the scent of her perfume subtly mixed in with the sterile scent of disinfecting solution to which my already racing heart skipped a beat. I let my eyes linger on her glossed lips as I step closer despite the weakness in my knees— just close enough that she can feel the weight of my towering presence without me even touching her. I freeze in place, ashamed at how strong my desires can be.
“Colonel.” She snaps me out of my trance with her whisper, “This tension is driving me crazy; what did you want to talk about?”
“Right, sorry. I just... I wanted to know something before I left, (Y/n).”
“Okay, so what is it, Kö?”
"Did you, no, have you ever thought about me as more than just a superior officer?"
Her eyes widen and she chuckles uncomfortably as she refuses to make eye contact as she starts to ramble about the dating rules in the army—the main obstacle keeping me from this very moment in the first place.
I tuned out her lies and watched her full lips talk and talk as she tried to explain herself. She couldn't even look at me, her dark eyes darted all around the area meanwhile I just became more and more infatuated with my medic. 
I force myself out of another trance with a soft "ahem" before wordlessly stepping forward and stopping her mid-sentence. She gulps thickly, giving me all the answers I need. I keep moving towards her until her back presses against the sliver of wall left between the curtain and the gurney. We continue to hold eye contact as I step closer until I'm mere inches away, chest right in front of her face. 
"I know it's against regulations. But that's not what I asked you." I finally speak, "And you have thought about it. Is... is the regulation the only reason you feel that way?"
(Y/n) bites the inside of her cheek, nervously. "Colonel, please tell me this is some kind of elaborate test or... or--"
"Unfortunately, it's not." My stomach flutters and turns. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable but I need to know if the signals are mutual and not just... just..."
Her eyes widen, dark skin flushed red with embarrassment as she leans a little closer with curiosity but she stops, still afraid of the consequences. Of course, who wouldn't be? Both our careers were on the line for even talking about this but I just can't help myself; only being able to see and talk to her when I'm injured isn't enough anymore. I rest my hand on her shoulder and lean down, trying to ease some of her tension without breaking a boundary.
"König, we'll get in trouble for talking like this. I'll get in trouble..."
"I'm not talking about what could happen if we get caught, (Y/n); I'm just asking if—"
"König." 
"You.... yes?"
She takes a deep breath and admits in a whisper, "I feel the same. I like you too, König."
My heart swells and races in my chest as I try to process her words, making sure she isn't testing me. I give her a skeptical squint and this time she steps closer and cups slowly reach up to my cheeks, almost making me lose my mind.
"I'm serious, just don't tell no one."
"I won't."
"I mean it, Konig. I like my job here."
I take her right hand from my cheek and gently kiss her knuckles through my mask, "We don't have to tell a soul, (Y/n). No one has to know; we can keep this secret for life, just you and me..."
She smiles at me, a wave of relief washing over her before she hugs me tightly and makes me gasp in surprise. I looked down at her with a smile behind my mask, not believing what was happening before I finally wrapped my arms around her and hugged her like I would never see her again. She finally pulls back after a while. 
"Verdammt (dammit)." I say under my breath in frustration as I check my watch, "I gotta gear up soon."
"We can continue this conversation in a week."
"Ja, of course. My office, maybe?"
(Y/n) nods happily. "Be careful. Don't come back injured."
"Of course," I chuckle, winking at her, "I'd never let them get that close to me."
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leonenjoyer69 · 7 months ago
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Invades your inbox
Hihihihi!!! I wanna ask, what are some songs that remind you of J+H :33??? ((/nf))
HELLO!! :33 THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK! THERE ARE SO MANY KVKSKVKSLC
OKAY, SO! First of all, *casually drops my J&H inspired playlist* all the songs I mention are on here, (WHICH ARE ALL SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF JEKYLL AND HYDE (all songs I've been recently obsessed with, someday ill go back in my liked songs lmao) AND SOME REASONS FOR SONGS ARE SUPER SPECIFIC, PLZ DON'T BULLY ME PEOPLE 🙏) so if you mayhaps wanna listen to any of the mentioned songs, they're there :3
BUT, ONTO THE SONGS AND REASONS!
Of course there's all the Will Wood songs from this list I did forever ago, but there are some other Will Wood songs I didn't put on there, like -Ish (which reminds me of Jekyll) and Cicada Days (which is literally University Lanyon and Jekyll)
Onto the various artists!
Pray To God For Your Mother by Dance Gavin Dance- BIG Jekyll song to me. "Dependent on the medicine to keep my colors vivid", " part of me wants to believe that I will not come apart at the seams, that I will learn from the cut when I bleed", "blame it all on the lamest dude, blame it all on the payments due", " didn't think id have to answer for the lies I told myself, at least not so soon" I MEAN CMON
Lights Out by Mindless Self Indulgence- for Hyde, the little adrenaline junkie.
Mr. Doctor Man by Palaye Royale- Jekyll energy, ofc. "Mr doctor man questions his hands, lost his mind, clinically fine, but he found a way to cope, needle in his throat"
Necromancin Dancin by Bear Ghost- Hyde, but instead of it being, ya know, the dead, it's him unleashing the nightmares on Jekyll. "Now we've found it, I'm astounded, every town will be surrounded by a throng of marchin' death, delicious the riches that glisten ahead!" Plus all the dancing references work bc he unleashed them at that party :3
Ghost Town -Revisited- by Trickle- Jekyll, once more. "So sick of this city's disguise, it glowing on the surface but it's drowning in lies", "Is there a reason that I'm wanting to hide when I look into the mirror just to see empty eyes?", "ghost that tried living a tired life, I'm haunted by the memories I buried inside"
Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn- Jekyll and Hyde, another one where basically all the lyrics are spot on lmao, but I will say I see the feminine voice as Jekyll and the Masculine one as Hyde :3
Turn The Lights Off by Tally Hall- Jekyll and Hyde
There's also a lot of Chonny Jash ones! Obviously The Ballad of Dr Jekyll and The Mr Hyde Jive, but also:
A Devil's Tricks- this one is literally just Jekyll and Hyde, idek what else to say lmao. Like, this dude sitting in lowkey self loathing while his mind tells him bad things? Not to mention the accuracy of the lyrics in general. Id list them, but then id just be pasting the whole song 💀
End the Dance- Lanyon and Rachel being the ones caring, and then switches to Jekyll. Once again don't really know what lyrics to throw in lmao
Banana Man- Jekyll and Hyde, with the whole banana thing being Jekyll becoming Hyde. "Forget all your morals and go with the flow, forget about the bad the good is all you know, and forget about the voice that's lying deep inside, the one that's screaming and screeching proclaiming wrong from right" "tomorrow morning on the plane, no banana makes you go insane. Floating back to busy town, no banana makes you want to frown"
Don't Take It Personally- EOUGHKEKOGKD another angsty Jekyll and Lanyon song.. "You can surrender your heart, but it won't be enough, don't take it personally I'm afraid of love" "if the drugs aren't in my system, then what the hell has blurred my vision?" "My wrist and my heart where you kissed pulled apart" "so just keep playing your part, and ill keep calling your bluff, don't take it personally when push comes to shove"
Push- Jekyll, ofc pushing all his friends away. "I see you trying to slowly turn your back on them, the shadow of who you were when back when you felt condemned"
I also have a bunch of other CCCC songs but idk how to explain why my mind thinks they fit, so I'm just gonna list them and idk, some might get brief explanations
Ruler of Everything- Jekyll trying to stop Hyde from going out, then Hyde literally ruining his life.
Dream (Outro to Calamity)- kinda specific to my little "Whole Jekyll" AU (as most of these are to some slight degree)
The Mind Electric- Hyde
Be Born- also Hyde
Light- Jekyll and Hyde
Good Day- Jekyll
Just Apathy- Jekyll, with Hyde as mind
Two Wuv- Jekyll
Greener- once again, Jekyll
Mucka Blucka- Jekyll and Hyde, (and my "Whole" Jekyll)
We're gonna Win- Jekyll and Hyde (except eventually getting along)
There's some on my playlist ik I didn't mention, but I think this should be good for now, LMAO, AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK GJSKKVKD ILY GUYS 🗣️🗣️🗣️
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thecherrygod · 1 year ago
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Hm
#my posts#look yes i keep making at least one post like this a day and it will continue but its either letting it out or i have no idea#also in my defense y believe most of my mutuals arent up so it is peak time to post about feeling like shit#my plan isnt for someone to read these its for the bullshit to get out and try to not get to the point shit hits the fan#anyways man teen me would be so fucking disappointed by so many things the mere fact we are still alive would make them livid#and alive and living like this?#probably if they knew it was gonna be like this it would have happened lmao#they would just think we are a coward and a dumbass who can't do anything right tbh but they did know then too it's not knew#if it was new we wouldn't be here wouldn't we. why am i referring to is in plural it's just two dif timed mes#but yeah they are probably like 'hey of you are gonna keep living at least you could do it in a way no one regrets it' but alas we do#and we will keep regretting it bc our death won't be our choice. the deadline for it was extended until we were 20 and it's long closed#.... things are getting worse tho they put true but like. that isn't an option anymore lmao it sucks tbh#... i don't have anything else to say that isn't repeating it#i. do wish it was still an option idek why it isn't anymore it's some stupid arbitrary rule#i hate this. it's like. i really don't do a single thing that could make any version of me proud of myself#not teen me not child me not current me. none of us is okay with whatever the fuck i have going on and yet!#.man. I've spent all day tired and wanting to cry for nothing particular but also for literally everything so like#that would fix me. i don't know how to make it happen#... I'm gonna go to sleep#i need my phone to finish charging but that'll be over soon#so yeah I'll. go to sleep soon
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