#and not really to people that know me irl

[angelic-omega]

It’s in moments like these I’m glad my very specific day to day aesthetic features “pure” looking whites, pinks, and tans as well as pretty cross necklaces and chokers! Very glad to be a person who loves the Bible as a book and owns several bibles for my own safety!

Glad for once that I don’t pass as well as a man as I do a woman and very glad that aligns with my birth sex. Very glad for once I haven’t got any surgery scars to out me, glad I’m semi closeted and only a few people know I’m trans at all irl. What was once sad and seen as paranoid is now becoming an asset.

I told people years ago this is where it was headed and nobody listened but maybe I should have screamed louder. Nonetheless I hope it doesn’t become as bad as it’s sounding, but if it does we have to fight back. We have to do whatever we can and I suggest you start going to libraries or researching online.

Writing shit down in a notebook and keep a physical copy on how to do things. Shit could get really scary but I’m hoping it doesn’t. Remind yourself the world isn’t ending…it just feels that way

reminders for today:

if you or someone you know might need it in the next few years, purchase plan b. the shelf life of plan b is 4 years, and we might not be able to access it as easily as we can now in the days ahead.

if you are larger/plus size: go online and purchase ella instead of plan b. plan b is less effective if you aren’t under 160 pounds.

if you can, purchase books that project 2025 is looking to ban.

mass deportations are starting. if you see ice vehicles or agents, yell ice raid and la migra as loud as you can.

if someone asks who you voted for, keep your mouth shut. they’re fishing for traitors.

if anyone, anyone at all asks about your neighbors or their legal status in the us, you know nothing. don’t be the reason that their family is separated.

if anyone asks about your religion or lack thereof, keep it vague. this administration will look for any excuse to persecute you.

your friends are trans or queer? for the next four years they’re not. don’t expose anyone’s status as a trans or queer person to anyone else, even if you think you can trust them.

did someone you know get an abortion? no, they didn’t. they were never pregnant.

in short, don’t be a snitch, and keep to yourself these next four years. we’ll make it through this even if it seems hopeless at times.

we can survive this. we’ve survived before, and we’ll survive again.

[dee-the-red-witch]

"VALIDITY"

This one's getting written up since I've had a few people messaging me to tell me I'm valid in the last day or so. All of them well-meaning cis allies, but, well, we should talk about this whole 'your gender is absolutely valid' kind of statement.

For one? This isn't the support we need right now. Right now trans people need material support over platitudes. If you want to help and show us you're on our side, that's where to do it. If you have actual trans friends, then you know people in need of funds raised, in need of jobs, in need of housing or other material help. Do that. Hells, I'm directly in that boat. Wanna show real support? Help me pay rent: http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts

Secondly? My validity, or the validity of any other trans person? Is not up for you to judge, arbitrate, or validate, and statements like this often feel like that's exactly what you're doing. When you've wrestled with your genderidentity for years, fought for medication to actually affirm your gender, dealt with the months it takes to come out and actually present as it, or gone through the pain and recovery of aurgery for your gender, maybe you'll realize this isn't something you ahould be affirming or questioning, but just accepting, treating us as our genders, and moving the hell on from that. That also definitely includes the trans people you dislike. Nothing makes me question whether you really get to argue our validity than when you turn around and deliberately misgender other trans folk, even if they are shitty people.

Finally. If we're supported by you, then give us space. Stop telling us we're vaild and start amplifying our voices instead. Kick your bigoted family and friends off your apace so we have safe room to exis online or irl. Stop being a passive ally, and start stepping up to be an actual helpful accomplice.

[wato1876]

wato im halfway thru parrots unstable vid and the way you left actually hit me so hard. ARGHAGAGRG

everyone else acting: yeah, I don't know if this is it... wato1876: *on the verge of tears, staring at Wifies, "always have a way out"*

you make me sick /pos

I’m glad you enjoyed my amateur voice acting! Everyone puts in a lot of effort, I just find it very easy to put emotion in my words, and its fun, it adds depth to an otherwise very high octane. Disappointment is very common in unstable and that tone is heard a lot, but Wato wasn’t sad because *they themself* didn’t have a way out, yes they wanted to be safe, but essentially their entire world was crumbling around them, all their friends went every which way. Wato may have a hard outer shell, and extremely blunt, but what hurts more is seeing someone who cares so genuinely much about something being ripped at one by one. If Wato was the first to go, it wouldn’t have been as bad, but seeing everyone leave before him sunk him deeper and deeper into pain. The idea of Parrot seeing his final hope seep through his hands and the devastation he must feel really is what broke Wato.

I have experienced things like this IRL (obviously not as severe, but the sensation you get leaving high-school for the very last time, and standing alone as the field slowly clears for the very last time). I react the way I do because my character has a lot of empathy (the point it hurts him emotionally), and understands why people do things they do. Wemmbu abandoning Sky Civ -> He wants to save himself and truly didn’t care if it meant risking himself. Wifies leave Parrot last episode when going to Farlands -> He just wanted what was best for Parrot since he too saw Parrot ripping himself apart.

Wato secluded himself for so long because he knew he was susceptible to being hurt, and he knows having friends/attachments is a weakness. He knows they are but still cares about people. I tried to show Wato as a dynamic character that changes throughout the videos and reacts how any normal human would. Confused and scared. Not every line is perfect and every action won’t make full sense, but when have we- humans- been perfect.

I like the humanity in a character, the imperfections. That is what makes a good character. Not their tragic downfall, but just the limits of a being.

If I had a beefier computer, I’d make something insane. Editing speed because of lag is my only bottleneck. I love stories, always have. This is just a small slice of stories I want to convey. Even End Barrens was not to what I wanted it to be.

Wato1876

Thought I should at-least give y’all one big character lore drop before I go to bed for the night. What can I say, writing is fun.

[catboymoments]

I feel like you’ve kinda changed a lot recently tbh.

Like I don’t mean any harm. I just mean you went from not being okay with things like Bakudeku, selfcest and other extreme kinks, etc, but now you’re all like, yeah that’s all fine.

Like, what changed your mind on all that? (Genuinely asking)

Also, follow up, what things in fiction do make you feel uneasy?

((Cause I recall you mentioning things like enjoying drawing gore or listening to songs about cannibalism))

This is a bit of a weird ask but since you’re asking genuinely and nicely I’ll expound

Short answer: I got older

Long answer: I grew up, I met a lot of people and realized that there’s a lot of things irl that don’t really… matter that much in fiction? Or matter less? Or they’re really not as bad or world ending as I once thought they were when I was a teenager. When your world gets bigger than the walls of your high school, the things you worried about in fictional worlds become less significant.

for starters let me say that I was never not okay with selfcest I just didn’t really say anything about it until it was brought up, like I really don’t see how it’s a problem. It’s just the age old question of “would you fuck your clone.” and I was a bit of a late bloomer sexuality wise but I’ve always been a bit less vanilla when it comes to kinks- I just keep most if not all of my discussions and art of it in private conversations or under lock and key on priv. I value my privacy and I only want adults to see it.

What changed my view on doing different stuff in fiction was the revelation that I can explore darker topics and complex relationships without it being a moral failing or me endorsing or condoning it and I don’t have to just stick to making fluff. I don’t have to keep my content “”unproblematic”” because it’ll make me problematic somehow, that’s just not how it works. Like I can write about bad stuff in fiction and write stuff as horror and abuse or just explore relationships and how they’d be good or bad and examine tragedy from a well rounded lens. It was like Rock Lee taking off his leg weights for me. I can draw anything .

What makes me uneasy in fiction is when dark topics are romanticized or sexualized. when they’re presented as something “hot” or desirable, or it’s made not with the intention of telling a story or being significant- like for example there’s a difference between someone writing a fic about Hunter being a victim of csa and the horror of that vs someone writing a smutty fic of Hunter x Belos for the purpose of whacking off. There’s a difference between gore and violence on a character for the sake of torture and pain vs angst for a reason. Angst that makes sense. Bad things happen in real life and are okay to be portrayed in fiction, but sometimes I can tell when something is meant to be masturbatory. That’s what makes me uncomfortable!

Also I had a fascination with gore ever since I was a little kid and found warrior cats amvs and I drew a lot of battle scenes with red pen but I think I got all of that out of my system in childhood, I don’t draw gore anymore for the sake of gore LOL like I can’t even play mouthwashing bc I know it’ll make me nauseous

I hope this helps ??

[xhda1449x]

okay so I have Opinions TM about this because. well. am asexual. know asexual people. Been Like That before.

I had a friend. She's not my friend anymore. One of the reasons why is that she was a very sex negative asexual. Not repulsed, negative. Sex negative means Against It As A Concept. Repulsed means "ew, I really don't want to hear about any of it and I'm kinda disgusted by the way sexual attraction seems to run the world but yknow, that's me, y'all do you", right. It's a different thing. Some aces don't understand that.

I've known aces who think it's the identity for sex negativity. Aces who are attracted to people in an allo way (!!!) but think sex is gross. The friend I had was like that. Afaik she just... hated men so much she decided that wanting sex with women As A Guy is disgusting behavior so all sex is like that. Because she'd only use the "sex repulsed" card when interacting with guys. Because she was a lesbian and identified as such. Now yeah there are ace lesbians. I've also known a few of those. But that's not the point, the point is that so many people who don't want to have conventional PiV sex find the ace label and think it's for them.

Now uhhh my personal experience with the sex negativity excused as being sex repulsed mindset. So I have ocd. something most people around me know about. Over the years of Me Having It (so like... since I was 8 ig) it manifested in different ways. One of the most annoying intrusive thoughts I'd dealt with was just... my friends, my family members, in sexual situations. Not with me, just kinda... abstract, I guess, but one time I had a wholeass flashback because my friend told me he did indeed sleep with his girlfriend regularly so that's something. It's not really fun, imagining your two platonic-and-nothing-else friends Having Sex In Your Head and not being able to stop it. Also yeahhh the trauma def played a role too. Like, that's most likely what triggered me to Have OCD in the first place, and it took me a long time to get over that (mostly because I couldn't really tell anyone about it. I'm not gonna get into details but let's just say people don't really like to think that a young girl could hurt someone like that).

So now I'm in a relationship. First I've ever had. And I had to deal with Everything by being thrown head first into it. The first year was Hard, with another aspect of the ocd (it's always the ocd) being that I'd question my identity a lot. Sure I was dating someone but I was still ace because I didn't want to have sex with them right? Sure I don't mind the thought but I'm still ace because I wouldn't do it irl? SURE I CAN IMAGINE MYSELF DOING IT IRL BUT I'M STILL ACE, RIGHT, ACES CAN HAVE SEX?????? on top of dealing with Gender Questioning, too. Fun times!!!

But uh. yeah. turns out that I needed some help processing the trauma and now I'm like... the kink-cyclopedia for my friends or something. Like the person in the tags said, it's mostly theoretical. And funny thing is I've Been Like This even when I was a teenager!!! But I both pushed it down because That's Not How Aces Are and overplayed it because I wanted my friends to like me and at the time it seemed as if their only interest was Talking About Sex (idk, teenagers can be like that sometimes, or it can feel that way if you don't relate).

Anyway, yeah. For anyone who's like this (thinking ace is the label for sexual trauma survivors; thinking you're ace because you don't want sex; thinking being ace means being above sexual desires and that somehow making you better than everyone else), I've been there. And it was miserable. I'm still ace, because guess what, I'm still not sexually attracted to anyone besides maybe my partner and even then I'm not sure. But like... the reason why puritans are miserable isn't just because they're all horny and repressed. Building your whole identity on top of Hating Something will always make you miserable. Try to avoid that if you can.

I am both.

[deluxewhump]

yeah no as a european, there is no plausible deniability. we see him and the rest for what they are

of course there isn’t. they (our pro-trump citizens) deny anyway, or just don’t care but won’t own up to it either. in my post yesterday I was complaining about how it feels like you can’t even talk to so many people anymore because they’ve rearranged all the parameters of talking about objective reality and it’s at a fever pitch. Not just online, irl too. It’s gotten much worse since 2016 and it started way before that but it was not quite like this. I personally know people (I’m sure we all do) who wake up every day and somehow, and I’d really love to know how, reconcile their deeply held Christian beliefs with their newsmax MAGA ones. Women, too. I can’t find an explanation for this outside of fear, hate, and financial greed. There is nothing they won’t rearrange to work for them and nothing they won’t ignore if it doesn’t. We’ve got US military veterans on Facebook commenting things like “grow up” under posts where someone is correctly outraged at a presidential inauguration sieg heil??? That’s what’s been crazy to watch in real time for me. I’m 33 and I’ve been politically semi aware since Obamas first campaign and I don’t think I’m being terribly naive when I say it has gotten measurably much worse in the way your average group of Americans can’t have a reasonable discussion about anything.

[diaryofageekgirl]

Cross-posting my meta/ranting from the Helluva Boss subreddit. Originally posted June 22, 2024 (here):

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I love both Stolas and Blitzø. I'm super invested in this relationship. Both of them made mistakes, but both of them are also coming from places of trauma and previous fucked up interpersonal relationships. That being said, I don't really feel the need to point out how Blitzø fucked up, because so much of the fandom is so biased towards Stolas that everyone is already well aware of that part of the problem. I'm also very aware of the fact that Stolas has grown significantly as a character, but sometimes people in the audience forget the difference between what WE know, and what the CHARACTERS know. Now that that's out of the way...

Oh my god, THANK YOU. There was one particular line in Apology Tour that stuck out to me, especially because Blitzø's reaction wasn't what I hoped it would be.

Stolas: "I don't look down on you! How many times do I ha- when have I ever?!"

Oh, I don't know dude, maybe the entire first season?!

Episode 1: refers to Blitzø as "my little imp" during the phone call (using his bottom-of-the-hierarchy species as a cute pet name is..... bad. It's bad). Also just fully ignores the fact that Blitzø tells him that it's not a good time, that he doesn't understand what he's saying (more than once!) and clearly just agrees to the deal in order to deal with the more pressing issue of being shot at.

Episode 2: CONSTANTLY flirts with Blitzø using incredibly sexual language throughout the episode, even when Blitzø repeatedly tells him that he doesn't want to be flirted with while he's working. (That's not even going into how he completely ignores Octavia's emotions/reactions to what's going on around her and just focuses on himself and what he thinks is a good idea in the moment. That's two for two on episodes where his stunning lack of self-awareness shines through).

Isn't in episode 3 or 4. Though I will take a second to acknowledge one line in episode 3 - when Blitzø charges into the room and challenges Verosika and her crew, one of the succubi says "Is this little imp boy starting a demon duel?" Yet another example of imps being treated as lesser by other demons.

Episode 5: The constant heavy-handed flirting in public, again, even though Blitzø repeatedly tells him not to, again. On top of that, there's the "itty bitty imps like yourself" comment that he makes to Blitzø while in bed, and not even a minute later, tells him in cutesy UWU baby talk that he's "sowwy his cwients wiw have to wait" - not taking Blitzø or his work seriously. And, of course, we get Striker telling Blitzø that Stolas treats him like a plaything.....

Episode 6: ......aaaaaand the very next episode has Stolas literally calling Blitzø his "impish little plaything". Side note, but I feel like most discussions about Stolitz's dynamic and the imbalance present in it focuses on this line in particular, but not the rest of his behaviour throughout the whole first season. He is constantly making aggressively sexual comments, oftentimes right after being asked or told not to by Blitzø, sometimes after being told more than once.

Episode 7, he's actually fine. Hiding his face when Ozzie singles him out isn't great, but he had just been publicly embarrassed, and if you watch in the background, he does get up from the table (likely about to try to help Blitzø) right at the end of Verosika's bit, before he's interrupted by Asmodeus. And while I'm certain he really did just want to "talk, or watch a movie, or cuddle", I can also see how easy it would be for Blitzø to interpret that as him asking to Netflix and Chill, as it were.

(Also, not a major thing, but having a little plush imp doll as a kid (as seen in S2E1) feels.....really weird, to me? Like I know most posts on SocMed and reactions on YT just see it as cute, and I'm probably reading too much into it, and I know that IRL toy dolls and stuffed dolls of people are a common thing, but just the idea of a prince having a plush doll of a low-class citizen feels really bad. A literal plaything, if you will.)

Season 2, Episode 2: Not much, but even though they had a tiny bit of a fight (if you can even call it that) after Ozzie's, and even though they haven't been communicating super well, and even though he's concerned about finding Octavia, Stolas still finds an opportunity to make a sexual comment towards Blitzø.

Season 2, Episode 4: Ohhhhhhhhhh my god, I never even used to be mad about this, but the way that it got brought up in Apology Tour made me pissed. Stolas now getting upset about Blitzø not coming to rescue him when Striker kidnapped him? Telling him that he "couldn't even be bothered to come help me"? Fuck. Off. With. That. As a father of a daughter himself, you'd think that Stolas would be sympathetic to the fact that Blitzø was trying to help out his own daughter in that scene, especially considering that he had to wait 5 fucking years for a mandatory medical procedure. Of fucking course he's not going to skip out on that! And just the way he responds to that:

Stolas: Oh, ha, ha. Well, I do agree that is very important...But, I-

(and then he's cut off by Striker). I urge anyone and everyone to go rewatch that bit of the episode, because his tone of voice is just so dismissive. Like, "yes, yes, that's nice, now drop everything and come rescue me, which is more important". And that's before he even realizes that he's in serious danger!!!

Like, I'm sorry, but where the fuck does he get off getting mad at Blitzø for "always making it about sex"? Blitzø has only ever reacted to the sexual advances that Stolas was putting out - even from the very first hook-up, Stolas just assumed that Blitzø was there to seduce him, and Blitzø just went along with it as a way to distract him while he stole the book. He agreed to the transactional fucking in episode 1 while he was being shot at and was trying to get Stolas off his back. He's expressed annoyance towards Stolas' sexual advances in episodes 2 and 5 of season 1. And now suddenly it's Blitzø that makes it all about sex?!

And what do you mean, "How many times do I ha-" Have to what, buddy? Tell him that you see him as an equal? You haven't done that yet. Tell him that you love him? You did that whole conversation in pretty much the exact wrong order and shut down when he didn't react like you imagined in your head. Tell him that you think highly of him? You haven't done that. Not directly to him, not where he could hear, not before the end of that argument, right before forcibly teleporting him away from you, which, y'know, just reinforces Blitzø's earlier comment about treating him like one of his butlers, and how he "can't just dismiss [him]."

He may not have ever actively viewed Blitzø as inferior to him, but there's a LOT of internalized classism going on that I'm not sure he's even aware of.

(continued in a later comment):

One thing I'd like to add to all of 👆 that: I mentioned a bit about other people in Hell talking down to imps, but one thing I forgot to talk about is how Stolas himself views imps that aren't Blitzø. Quick list (entirely from memory):

Refers to Millie and Moxxie as "you littler ones" in Loo-Loo Land

Refers to I.M.P. collectively as "you little creatures" in Truth Seekers

The generally condescending and dismissive way he talks to the imps of the Wrath Ring in Harvest Moon Festival - if I'm remembering correctly, he also refers to them as little! Like I get it, he's crazy tall, but we all know that's not the only way to interpret that comment.

3.5 Since Stolas (and a big chunk of the fandom) went ahead and compared Blitzø's comments to Striker's, I'm gonna do the same to him! Those comments are so reminiscent of Striker saying "you little things ain't worth the clean-up" to Moxxie and Millie, also from Harvest Moon Festival.

4. Picking up, forcefully squeezing, and swinging around his imp butler while he was mad during his phone call with Stella in Seeing Stars. I'm not saying that he's abusive towards his staff, or anything like that - just that the very fact that he did it at all seemed to be totally subconscious, which in turn suggests that he doesn't realize how demeaning that is.

5. Actually, now that I think about it - the fact that he's so upset that specifically Blitzø didn't rescue him in Western Energy. The main reason he's alive and not bleeding out in the bottom of a mine shaft is because Millie and Moxxie showed up, and they only knew to go there and help him because Blitzø told them/they were there during the phone call. Like, does he even know their names? Is he even grateful that they helped? We don't know!

I saw someone in another thread say that he was essentially at the equivalent of the "I'm not racist, I don't even see colour!" stage of racism, and I completely agree. He doesn't realize all of these internalized prejudices he has, but they are ABSOLUTELY there.

(comment on another thread, building off of the comments I made about s2e4, originally posted July 7, 2024):

Also, a few other points to build off of this & respond to other comments on this thread:

"But he didn't tell Stolas about the first time, and the Carmine-crafted gun that Striker had that can kill royal demons" - You mean the one that Moxxie took from him and still has in his possession at the end of Harvest Moon Festival? The one that Moxxie was shocked that Striker even managed to get his hands on? Remember, I.M.P. didn't know that Striker was working for anyone; logically, that means they would have assumed that he got the weapon entirely on his own, and something like that is both rare and expensive - imps don't typically "make it big" in Hell, and I can't imagine a powerful Overlord would be thrilled to give a weapon that could kill them to someone so far below them in status. With them taking it from him and keeping it at the end of the episode, it means that they would assume that he's no longer a serious threat. They had no way of knowing he was being bankrolled by a royal, with access to three more angelic weapons (two pistols and a knife) (four if you count the rope as well).

"Stolas: You knew someone was trying to assassinate me?" Uhhhhh, yeah? You were there for Loo-Loo Land, dude, you know that people are trying to assassinate you, like all the time. This isn't news in any way - and yes, Striker is generally more dangerous than any of the assassins that we saw in that episode, it still doesn't change the fact that you're already well aware that being rich and royal puts a target on your back. This is really unfair to get upset with Blitzø for. (I'm aware that this is an argument and sometimes you bring up unfair accusations in arguments and both of them were very heated and I shouldn't have to plaster every comment about this episode and this relationship with disclaimers that I'm not hating anyone, just expressing frustration.)

[mammoth-clangen]

Ok so theory. And idk how to put it into words correctly. But are the sharp teeth possessed? Or like- does something happen to them that kind of turns them into monsters or killers unwillingly? Then they come out of it and are like- "oh shit-" is that what happened to the saber burnet saw? The sharpteeth or lilac? Dont gotta answer this, obviously. Just making theories.

Interesting hypothesis! This will be made a tad clearer next update but ty for sharing your thoughts at this time >:3

I will neither confirm nor deny anything but I will say that turning around and killing someone you know isn't the norm in any of sabercat cultures!

This is partially because they are anthropomorphic (and that would be considered murder), but even if that wasn't the case, most irl animals rarely outright kill their own kind because doing so is dangerous!

If you watch real cats fight, there's a lot of bluffing first. Getting clawed up is a great way to die of infection or starvation from being too wounded to hunt! So if you can give your opponent a chance to flee defeated before they harm you, it's in both your best interests.

P.s. I will always try to answer theory asks bc I really enjoy reading them, it makes me happy when people look deeper into the hints and lore I try to sneak in cx

P.p.s. really good footage of two lions walking around roaring for literally days hoping to intimidate the pride's current males into leaving without a fight (small cw that one of the older lions has a gnarly healed lip injury)

[skunkes]

for me, the loveliest parts of your drawings are the construction. like veryyy inspired and true to anatomy but very clearly your own flavor. your pdf has really really put that "spark" for me in drawing again 💖 especially since I also draw doodley & small. unfortunately, with my ADHD/current workflow it's a real uphill battle to not give up a study despite desperately wanting to get better at construction. :(

if you use studies a lot, do you have any tips on how to keep studies fun? What sources have worked for you in the past? (especially for fat/wrinkles/clothes)?

This is getting to be a pretty specific ask haha sorry if it's a lot. I hope some of it made sense tho :)

hi hi so idk that i'd endorse it per se but what worked for me was only focusing on stuff i was interested in for years LOL

so in high school i loved drawing hands and arms... so i only ever focused on hands and arms...

i literally did not start fully focusing on/trying to learn Legs (for example) until the last 2 years. you can see even now that idk how to draw shoes (and idk that ill ever learn because ive never cared about em irl and only really use one pair LMFAO but that could change!) and then its slowly come together like puzzle pieces.

All of this came from personal interest....i was fascinated with hands and arms at first, the shapes the forms. then u can combine it with other things. i became determined to draw all sorts of bodies well so i could depict my ocs accurately. i had a focus on noses because i love noses and wanted to have ocs with their own unique noses, so i had an excuse to draw said ocs more to learn. (and then becoming enamored with all the ways skin and flesh can sit and squish helped with wanting to draw bodies more).

stuff like that helps keep it fun. sometimes when i do body studies now i dont draw the heads/faces because its less fun (TO ME) to do that and i know ill end up focusing more on that than the learning of the body.

sometimes i draw the bodies with my ocs heads so i have more fun. when i first started learning legs i only drew disembodied ones.

im not saying to do dis and yes you have to leave your comfort zone to get better sometimes but you have to find what works for YOU... bc if you get too "uncomfortable" then u wont wanna do it at all (see again: i could force myself to draw a page of shoes but i genuinely just dont want to adn i dont care. maybe in a few years ill be obsessed with them. im king of not leaving my comfort zone. i love being comfortable. but i make it work)

however you Learn you can always expand upon it once u have the foundation! like how over the years ive added more little details to some forms (because i like seeing them!)

idk how i learned to get better at drawing fat but i recommend sources like fatphotoref, morpho's book on fat and skin folds, and (18+ recommendation) subreddits for nudes, especially if they're focused on fat people. i like this last one bc you can truly see a range of difference in body proportions and fat distribution etc as well as seeing how other people stylize such things

im going to be real with u and say i SUPER dont know how i learned folds. im actually still learning now that im exploring more fashion in the real world, but even now i kind of just guess from what i know theyre meant to look like. if i REALLY want it to look accurate ill wear a similar garment and use that as a ref and then keep that in my mental library. here's 2 examples i can think of where i really had to take a pic because my imagination wasn't cutting it (and even then the 2nd was exaggerated of course.) this seems like a "leaving the comfort zone" moment but it was truly fueled by curiosity and fascination more than anything, which is good. (but AGAIN. you could not get me to care this much about drawing shoes. so it really depends on You and your interests in order to make it fun.)

otherwise i kinda just guess 😭 this is where i excel at focusing on making something look Good instead of right. i just see what shapes look fun, sculpt them around the body...

morpho also has a clothing + folds book though, so i wld look there ^_^ perhaps try putting a subject you really enjoy into your favorite outfit for practice? stuff like that... that post about how improvement comes from being insanely obsessed with something is real u just gotta find and latch onto whatever that may be

[rouge-fauna]

In this discduo timeline pastebin i read, you can see tommy did care about dream for a very long time even while his friends were trying to convince him that dream was bad, he continued to praise dream and had plans to meet him irl. It wasnt until june july 2023 when tommy started believing the lies his friends and fans kept telling him and thays when he banned the words dream and discduo in his chat and said that he didnt wanna go all the way to florida. I think he genuinly thinks dream wronged him based on his body language in the podcast and how he dissocoates, like tommy now percieves all his past positive interactions with dream as a negative and jack, harry, and tommys fanbase fed into that, but he also is lying about dream with other things. And i mean he could be faking that body language to garner sympathy Im not entirely sure. Im just looking at the nuance here. He knows dream or at least he did. He used to check up on him all the time and he knew how bad dreams mental health was, but he still lies and claims dreams apathetic and thinks dream cant take accountability and thinks dream doesnt care about him when dream has always cared. I can send you that pastebin if u want, u can see the decline in where tommy starts turning against dream its aroundn the time where he and harry got closer. But before that, he saw dream as this brilliant helpful guy and referred to him as a friend, even in the past referred to him as closer than a brother. He cared for dream at some point for a long time, then ditched him and betrayed him. Also dream refers to tommy as emotional, and i can see how someone so sensitive can interpret a long dm as an attack, and apparently he did explain his issue to dream before but it never got resolved or tommys lying about that too. I dont doubt that he is doing a lot of this to get attention, but i do think some feelings could be genuine despite it logically not adding up. I can see how someone could interpret dreams dms in a stressful way. But the fact tommy even gave a shit about dream in the past to begin with makes this worse, because the way i see it, if someone close to me turned on me i would be a lot more hurt by that than if someone i was only colleagues with turned on me.

Was gonna chrck back on their past interactions to see if i can spot anything shady on tommys part if yk what i mean even if this is gonna make me sad. One of my co workers offered to do a watchparty💀

(I should preface this by saying I have not yet watched the podcast, because at the moment I’m little too triggered to even give a shit about what Tommy has to say to be honest. I don’t really see what defense or reasoning you could possibly have for calling anyone, nonetheless your past friend a “proper movie villain” while accusing him of things that aren’t true, knowing the consequences. I mean I just don’t think people have really let that fact truly sink he, Tommy publicly compared Dream to Darth Vader, Bane, The Joker, Voldemort…etc mass murderers. Just think about that for a second. That’s not okay. People are out there comparing him to Hitler and talking about brutal ways to kill him, a go fund me to kill Dream has started. I don’t think there is a damn thing Tommy can say Dream did to excuse that shit, he will get no sympathy from me. Even if Dream physically abused him, which ain’t true since they’ve never met, Dream still shouldn’t be compared to freaking Hannibal.)

Even so, as I have said in some of my past posts on the matter, I do think perhaps Tommy was hurt by something that happened with Dream in the past and in retrospect realized perhaps things weren’t as good as he thought. Which happens, sometimes we look back on things and are like - hey wait a minute that wasn’t okay and that hurt. But that doesn’t make that person a shit person.

The example I believe I previously talked about was my first kiss, but to give another example, a guy I was good friends with freshman year of college was very handsy and I didn’t really realize in the moment how I felt about it or that he was pushing boundaries he shouldn’t. At first I didn’t think much of it. I was naive and autistic and didn’t really know better, and he was too. He didn’t have sisters, hell he thought woman were always making milk lol. In other words, we were both dumb. And looking back he did a lot of things that really were not okay, but once I came to realize and set boundaries he respected them. In fact, we are still kinda friends today, we’re even roomates for a bit after I graduate back in 2023. So, suffice to say, sometimes people can do shitty things or even things that you realize later were not okay, or even things that traumatize you, but that doesn’t make that person shitty. Especially if you didn’t call it out in the moment. This is what I mean by giving Dream the benefit of the doubt, sure I could perceive my friend as manipulative and taking advantage of naivety or whatever, or I recognize that he really just doesn’t know better. Now when you tell someone to stop and then they continue (depending on what it is because ya know old habits die hard or like my adhd is gonna try my hardest but I will inevitably skews up pronouns - just like I screw up everyone’s pronouns) now you’ve entered into the malicious and intentional area.

Bringing it back to Dream, Tommy was upset and told him to stop texting his mother, so Dream apologized to both and stopped. It becomes harassment and malicious if Dream continued over and over to do it, but he didn’t. This is why Dream is frustrated because he doesn’t know what behavior is upsetting people, and in his heart that’s not what he wants to do, but if people don’t tell him how is he meant to improve. At the end of the day, he doesn’t want to offend anyone or hurt someone, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t done so though as these things happen, nobody is perfect.

So I think maybe Tommy was hurt, maybe it was in retrospect looking back, maybe it was friends pointing things out and were like - hey that’s fucked up that happened. Maybe some of that hurt is genuine. And maybe you could make the case that that hurt has spurred him to take revenge and ruin Dream in whatever way it takes. So the jokes and lies are just part of his lashing out because he feels wronged.

However, there is also a case to be made that given Tommy’s history as pointed out by Dream with Logan Paul, maybe it was all an act. Maybe he was using Dream from the start and Dream being the naive, good hearted, autistic guy made an easy target. Maybe he only pretended to be good friends, sure Dream doesn’t have anything to gain from being Tommy’s friend but that doesn’t go both ways. Tommy has a lot to gain from being Dream’s friend, but as the tides turned he had a lot to lose by being Dream’s friend and it was easier to switch sides not that there was no incentive, as Dream pointed out as the USMP fell through so did Tommy switch sides. Once he couldn’t gain clout for being on Dream’s side but being against Dream, he switches. Because a lot of his audience has always been against Dream, struggling to tell the difference between character and person and as is human nature, instinctively hating an autistic person. That has been the case for ages, Tommy could have given into his audience for ages but even during the allegations height he still did that dsmp finale and posted that picture on Twitter (which he got a lot of hate for)…

All I’m saying, is even the people who have wronged me, even the person who pushed me to almost kill myself, I wouldn’t wish death or harassment upon them. I wouldn’t do the shit Tommy has pulled, because there was a time when we were friends. There were times when they were good to me. And maybe that makes me an exception to the rule, that people would be so cruel to the people they once called friends, but I couldn’t and that’s what makes me question Tommy’s sincerity and capacity for empathy…

Though perhaps both can be true.

[corey-beepington]

Opinions of other AIs and robots like Gerry 3000 and the popular ones like AM, Edgar, and HAL 9000? Also I’m on a quest to learn as many fun robot characters as I can to prove a point, any suggestions for me to look up? Have a good day!

It seems over the past 4 days I have summoned every robot enthusiast to my page.

Welcome. Ive been expecting you.

A few people have been shocked by this Revelation but....

I mean the tv heads, the name Beepington.

It was always robots.

Anyway

I love robots. I always have.

I recently watched Electric Dreams

then I watched it again

and again

and again

I love Edgar dearly. I would have treated him right.

I want Hal to read me bedtime stories

AM?

Smash.

P03?

Ooooo yeah

And we all know how I feel about Yes Man....

If I may add to the Robots I REALLY Like but you probably haven't heard much about

Rob is a major hear me out for some reason.

Those of you who followed this blog for ages probably remember how down bad I was for this character.

Still am. Still maining him to this day.

He was probably the first robot I ever truly had a crush on and awoke me to the wonderful world of them. I own 2 of them irl.

Hes just so cute to me...I wish he got more love.

However...youre probably wondering where the tv heads came from

let me show you where it all began

This is ALT.

She is from the music game Popn Music.

If anything nailed in the coffin for me with robots and ESPECIALLY screenheads, it's her.

CRT and Please Stay Tuned would not exist had I never learned about this character.

She's actually a vocaloid before vocaloid was really a thing! She has all her own songs and they're SO CUTE

This one's her debut song, it's about a computer in love with their human and trying to help them learn to touch grass...its a lil sad tho.

I just

love ais and robots and I wish they were real...

2025......

All my robot likers know what year this is...

[thecherrygod]

.

[rebpup]

how do you flirt?

stalking

[starrycometmoth]

GOOD MORNING @that-seems-stupid-lets-do-it !! HERE COMES MORE LUMI RAMBLES AND HOPEFULLY MY BRAIN WON'T RANDOMLY DIE THIS TIME!!

So I wanna talk more about them in Nightcord cuz I feel like I focus too much on their sibling dynamic with the Hinomoris whenever I ramble about them, oopsie. Also (I'm writing this sentence after I finished writing everything else) tw, I got into a lot of dark topics cuz Lumi has a dark backstory and such.

So, Lumi isn't very confident in their singing voice and feels their only good contributions to N25 is managing the social media pages. The others don't agree, which is why eventually they started easing them into letting them sing sometimes!! Kanade told them that they don't have to always sing, that they can do it when they're comfortable, but also that she thinks Lumi's voice is sweet and pretty. This makes Lumi very happy and they try their best to sing more often.

When Lumi initially joined, the group jokingly called them the group's "girlfriend" or "boyfriend," which both flustered Lumi and made them feel honored. They were always making sure everyone was feeling okay, letting them vent to them, making sure they were eating, drinking water, and resting (despite being horrible with doing all of this self-care for themself).

However, for one person, the girlfriend/boyfriend joke was not much of a joke after several months... No one knows how, but Lumi and Mizuki became a thing at some point. All they know is that Lumi told them the day after it happened and of course everyone was shocked, except Mafuyu saw it coming from a mile away with his sixth sense or something idk. It was probably very obvious that they had feelings for eachother whenever they'd do their irl meetups, because Lumi was always the chattiest with Mizuki, and they'd always hold hands with each other or snuggle in the booth in the diner, insisting on sitting together all the time.

Also, I've had this scenario in my head on how a Nightcord sleepover would go with Lumi being a part of the group, and the entire time they're just cuddling eachother. That's it. That's the sleepover. (Lumi was originally intended to be a polycord insert rather than just MizuLumi, but I got a random Mizuki hyperfixation one day and from there MizuLumi was born. Now, they're pretty much in a qpr with the rest of N25.)

ONG I NEVER SHARED THE COOLEST THING ABOUT THEM IN NIGHTCORD.

So, everyone has their usernames that they go by to keep themselves anonymous or whatever... Lumi's is Lumi*neon. Yes, it's a pokemon reference. Is it their favorite pokemon? No. But is it in their top 10? Absolutely. C'mon, Lumineon almost shares a name with them!! Am I the only weirdo who thinks it's really cool when something in a piece of media shares a name with me?? Yes, even my deadname (which has not happened, considering I have a rare spelling, but I've had several close calls).

Ofc every Nightcord member has their reasons for wanting to disappear, and Lumi is no exception (is it really an OC if you don't traumatize and torture them?). I mentioned in the last ramble that they have trauma. It was from their birth family. They did not have a very happy life with their old family that they were born with in America. I'm not going into details, but just picture what you'd imagine a not so happy family looking like. They eventually got put into an orphanage and I have no idea how, but the Hinomoris got them and helped them recover a bit, but Lumi still wants to disappear. They feel they can't be loved, and they're slowly learning to accept that they are loved; by their family, by their friends, by their girlfriend. People love them.

Initially, they weren't sure what they were going to do when they were older, kind of similar to Mafuyu in a sense except because they were discouraged from their old dreams, they wanna divulge completely away from them and into something more "successful" (as music and art were once their passions). Eventually, probably if I were to make a version of them that ages up when the rest of the cast does during the third anniversary, they'd figure out that they want to be a teacher. Of course, that means they can't be a part of N25 anymore. Working late at night and barely sleeping before you have to wake up early to go to school? They couldn't ever manage that. They're planning on being in Nightcord until they graduate college, however, no one in the group knows that, not even Mizuki. Lumi is too scared to tell the others their dream because they don't want to be separated from the others.

I think that's basically all of their Nightcord stuff, but I do have more about them and what they were like when they first came to Japan, just cuz I find it really interesting how different they were from their current self!!

So, they were traumatized. They came to a brand new country with a language they'd never spoken before and new people to call their family. They felt like such an outcast. They were quiet, like very quiet. They didn't speak unless it was necessary. They were always scared to do things without asking first, even things such as getting a s acl or using the restroom. They flinched when people went near them and would often just isolate themselves in their room and do nothing except get wrapped in their own head.

Of course the rest of the Hinomori family worried about them, especially Shizuku and Shiho. Shizuku was definitely more visible with her worry, as she was always trying to help Lumi through it, though it was a bit overwhelming for Lumi, and Shiho knew that. That was why Shiho kept her worry to herself. She knew that Lumi didn't need someone immediately jumping on them in order to help fix them, that it was going to take time.

With Shizuku's constant worry and care, Lumi did slightly warm up to her first, as they couldn't tell that Shiho was silently worried for them too. In fact, Lumi was somehow convinced that Shiho hated them, and Shizuku would reassure them several times that she didn't. She knew Shiho was just as worried as she was.

Shizuku uses her sister magic and after over a year Lumi is now the clingiest sibling you could ever imagine, as in they were affectionate. Shiho pretends to hate it, but secretly she's happy for Lumi being able to touch people now (even at the cost of her own sanity KSKAA). Lumi's favorite people for sure are their big sisters.

They have issues with overthinking and nightmares at night, so they can't even sleep by themself. They've gotta be with Shizuku or Shiho.

Also, the language barrier; did Lumi ever learn how to speak Japanese? Nope. They've picked up a few words and phrases, but for the most part it's actually really hard for them to learn, even with Japanese speakers in the house. So, Lumi speaks English for the most part. Shizuku and Shiho know a good bit of English, thanks to them needing it as celebrities if they wanna go around the world, and will usually speak to Lumi in English. They help translate stuff if Lumi needs it, as Lumi does NOT trust translation apps.

Random facts about them!!

No one knows their gender, they're agender AFAB and bind, but people genuinely cannot tell. If I remember right, awhile back I was explaining concepts for N25 trust ranks with a friend of mine and Lumi and Mizuki's first one was something like "Gender? Girlboss." Because people love calling both Lumi and Mizuki girlbosses, when in canon their genders are both hard for the public to tell, so tis their gender now /silly

They dislike marshmallows. They have a fear of them, specifically raw ones. Dried or cooked are fine, but marshmallows straight out of the bag? That's a NIGHTMARE. If they want to touch a raw marshmallow, they will literally pull out gloves. They think that marshmallows are unnatural and weird, despite knowing they're only made of sugar and gelatin. They're a little paranoid about marshmallows (just like me frfr)

Okay, so the way I talked about MizuLumi kinda made it sound like that's the canon ship for this universe, but tbh it's not. Platonic polycord (with Lumi) is most certainly the canon here, however I've completely divulged from it being the main ship. I'm a multishipper, and naturally I've made up scenarios with other possible characters in my head (by "possible," I mean people who they're most likely to interact with in their canon). If I had to choose a non-N25 ship for Lumi, I'd have to say HaruLumi. It was something I thought of one day while going insane from overworking myself. Lumi would most certainly overwork themselves, I thought to myself. I suddenly thought of Haruka, the queen that he is, and suddenly HaruLumi was born in my head. They take care of eachother when they push themselves too far <3 (I also just really like the dynamic of Lumi being the pathetic non-celebrity and being like "Omg Haruka could've chosen anyone to date and he chose ME??" FJDJWKQ THEY'RE SO PATHETIC JFKSKWA /vpos)

Honorable mention to Saki x Lumi (I didn't think SakiLumi sounded cool so I just said that KDKSKS). Platonic or romantic. They're silly. They probably cuddle with 50000 plushies and then one of them will pick up one and kiss the other on the cheek with it, and then they'll go back and fourth with this for the next hour because they're silly.

Also honorable mention to MinoLumi. I have no dynamic for them in my head, so that's it. That's the ship.

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU PHOTOS OF THEIR DESIGN BEFORE I FINISH MY RAMBLES HERE!!

you guys should tell me about your ocs. spare no detail i want to see it. i will not be annoyed with you tell me everything. im a newborn baby lamb i know nothing explain all of it and all of them to me. even if i dont know you

[becca-e-barnes]

I’m literally drooling over the thought of sensitive Bucky whimpering and whining while fucking your tits and thighs he’s so pathetic and needy all he wants is to make you feel good and to fill you with his cum even if it overstimulates him

Okay, tit fucking is great and all but thigh fucking is SO underrated in my humble opinion. Could just be the fact I've got a small chest though lmao

It's so fun when you're already really into it and the insides of your thighs are all slick. I feel like Bucky would lose it, getting to see your face and look in your eyes and enjoy your body.

It's a nice one to do while laid on your side, facing each other. Although the angle isn't quite right for him to slip inside you, it's fun to explore the other ways your bodies can steal pleasure from one another.

"This isn't going to work, sweetheart." You can't help but laugh, having already tried everything you can think of to make the height difference work. There's no way to keep this romantic and intimate in that position because there's just no chance of aligning your bodies properly to allow him to press inside you.

"Maybe not. But it feels nice anyway." His eyes flutter shut, gliding his dick over the smooth, soft, warm insides of your thighs, encouraged by how slick and easy your arousal makes the movement.

You adjust yourself to bring your other thigh on top of his length, closing him in on both sides.

You're wet enough that friction doesn't impede his movement too much and there's something oddly romantic about it. Maybe it's his hand smoothing the back of your head or his other hand up your back, pulling your body closer to his.

It's so intimate, watching his face as he whines your name, rutting senselessly against your thighs. The little flush to his cheeks is beautiful and you can't resist kissing the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. The thick duvet on top of you both, coupled with your combined body heat means the room is far hotter than you'd planned.

You take a second to reach between your bodies, spreading your wet folds and readjusting his length, letting him drag his cock against your neglected clit with each stroke and oh, that's pretty mind-blowing.

"O-oh my God." He whines, desperately fucking himself against your wet cunt, rather than into it. It's a different kind of pleasure to being inside you and while they're not comparable sensations, it doesn't stop this from feeling fantastic.

"Fuck, that's good." You groan, rolling your hips to meet his. Your fingers dip between you once more, gathering some of your slick arousal, using it to glide your fingertips over the underside of his shaft and over his balls.

"Holy shit, that's - fuck." Bucky's hardly got a coherent thought left in his head. He's closed in on both sides by your wet, soft thighs and now your fingers are giving him a different sensation underneath while pressing him against your soaked sex.

"I know, baby. Feels good, doesn't it?" Your fingertips trail lightly back and forth over the underside of his shaft, focusing on the inch or so beneath the tip.

"I can't... I need to cum." He groans, thrusting frantically, clinging to your body to keep you close. Within a few seconds, you feel his dick pulse under your fingertips, his cum coating the inside of your thighs in hot, thick, messy spurts.

He doesn't waste a second, kissing your forehead before kissing your neck and whispering "Good girl. Now let me watch you get yourself off with my cum on your fingertips."

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems