#id take them to get you. god jesus

[aberfaeth]

i hope we get to eat ice cream and cast magic forever.

[orcelito]

Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

[healmyhrt]

could you do Matt x reader smut where reader wears something showy to her friends birthday party and Matt gets like turned on and you can take over the rest!

⌗ crush, m. sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt has had a crush on you for the longest, and you’ve had strong feelings toward him too. after a summer fling with him, things turn awkward, and you both have a feeling of relief thinking that you’ll never see each other again… until your best friends birthday party.

disclaimers!: flirting, heavy making out, thigh riding, alcohol consumption, cursing, and use of y/n

a/n: guys question, is it technically “aftercare” if u don’t fuck??? like if you just js did oral shi or something idk 😣 anywho enjoy babes

i slowly creep into the dark entry way, removing my jacket as quietly as possible. i feel a hand tap my shoulder and i grip the fingers, trying to recognize who it could be.

“y/n?” a voice whispers. it was nick.

i reach in and hug him, squeezing tightly. i can feel him smiling against me. “hey, how are you?” i whisper back.

“good, you?” he replies, holding my hand and leading me through the dark hallway. “eh, so-so. is she here yet?”

a few friends and i were throwing a surprise party for my best friend, mia, she’s turning 21.

“she’ll be here in a few, but come on, everyone’s in here.”

i enter the dining room, seeing a crowd of some familiar and unfamiliar faces, candles lit in front of them.

i scan the group, looking at everyone, when my eyes come to an abrupt stop. there he was, matthew.

his blue eyes glistened behind the candlelight, and he stared right through it, straight at me. fuck.

i tap nick as he swivels around, handing me a candle.

“what the hell is he doing here?” i question. nick looks over at matt, then back at me. “um, he knows mia?”

i roll my eyes. nicks face changes and he raises an eyebrow. “have you two still not talked since the summertime?” i shuffle in place, looking at the floor.

“no…”

nick groans. “jesus. just—sort things out tonight, okay? you two can not ruin this night for mia. got it?” he says.

i nod, and glance over at matt, who was still staring.

chris sprints into the dining room, and catching his breath before speaking. “guys, they’re here!”

we all become quiet as the front door creaks open. i look up at nick who’s looking at me, trying not to smile.

mia slowly enters the dining room, a white blindfold tied gently over her freshly curled hair. she begins to untie it, and nick looks at everyone, holding up three fingers.

“3…”

“2…”

“1…”

“SURPRISE!” we all shout, seeing mia’s face. she immediately smiles, and holds her hands to her face.

“you guys!” she beams.

everyone rushes over, hugging her uncontrollably. i step back into the hallway, freeing myself from the crowd.

i sigh, looking over and seeing matt. he gives me a small smile, and i look the other way, turning toward the stairs.

it had been about 2 hours since we surprised mia, and now the entire house was packed. the small gathering had turned into a big party.

i had stayed holed up in mia’s room, drinking, as friends came and went, bringing me more and more.

now, i wasn’t drunk. they only brought me cans of sprite with a little bit of vodka in it. thats it.

and ive only had like 3 or 4 of them.

but i knew after a while id have to pee, and eventually leave mia’s room, placing myself back into the craziness that was downstairs.

i patt my hands dry on my favorite cardigan, shutting the bathroom door behind me. stepping down the steps into the chaos, i pass by multiple people making out on the steps.

i see mia at the bottom of the steps, and it gives me a sense of direction. she sees me and smiles immediately, running into my arms. “y/n!” she beams. i grin back.

“god, i feel like i haven’t seen you all night!” she grabs my forearm, dragging me into the living room. we stumble across a couple making out on the couch.

“can we sit here?” mia questions, with a smile.

they move over, and continue. “mia, im not sitting next to a horny ass couple.” i groan. she pulls me down next to her, and displays her legs across mine. “sooooo…”

i raise an eyebrow. “so, what?” she giggles, biting her bottom lip. “did you see him?” i cross my arms.

“you invited him? god—mia!” i scoff.

she laughs. “y/n, you two need to sort things out. tonight. okay? i can’t have two of my closest friends not being able to stay in the same room as one another.”

“you sound like nick.” i reply. she smirks. “well, yeah. it was our plan all along.” i playfully push her away with a little smile.

“look, please just talk to him.” she says, giving me a look.

i sit in silence fidgeting with my fingers. she places a hand on my fingers, and i look up at her. “okay.”

she claps enthusiastically, standing. “yay, y/n!”

i laugh. “im gonna go find myself another drink. want anything?” i shake my head. she blows me a kiss, and walks off, her dress swaying gracefully with each step.

i sigh, standing up. i look over at the couple next to me.

“you guys can—y’know—do your thing.” i gesture to the sofa. they give me a thumbs up, and immediately lay down, continuing. gross.

i make my way outside, onto the front porch.

i sit, flinching at the cold pavement against the back of my thighs. my skirt was very short, and i didn’t have any tights.

the door opens and shuts behind me, and i turn around to meet a very familiar face. “matthew.” i say. “y/n.”

he walks past me, and unlocks his car. i watch him stop, and turn around. “wanna—come with?” i give him a confused expression.

“we need more ice. im just gonna run to a gas station.”

i shrug, and stand, walking over to his car. matt opens the door for me, and i give him a small smile, stepping in.

after waiting in the car for a while, matt finally exits the gas station, carrying the last bag of ice. about time.

he gets in the car, wiping his now wet hands against his jeans. “took you long enough.” i tease. matt chuckles.

“i know, usually doesn’t take me that long to get my hands this wet.” he smirks. i shake my head, looking out the window, attempting to hold my laugh in.

“let’s just go.”

the drive back was silent. (minus the ice tumbling around in the backseat.) we caught almost every red light, and matt and i would just shift in our seats, trying not to make eye contact with one another.

as we pull in the driveway. i unbuckle my seatbelt, trying to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

“so, we aren’t gonna talk about it? at all?”

i knew it.

i turn around, and sigh. “fine. let’s talk, matt.” i say with a long stare. he clenches his jaw, and rests his hands on the steering wheel.

“we had sex. big deal.” i throw my hands up in the air dramatically. matt scoffs and looks at me, almost as if he was about to cry. “it was a big deal to me.” he stares.

i purse my lips together. “well, it doesn’t seem like it, seeing as you lack common communication skills.”

“i wanted to text you, or call you—just hear your voice at all after that night, but i was too afraid.” matt looks out the window beside him, and gently taps the steering wheel with his fingertips.

my face softens, and i slowly reach out to the place a hand on his. but before i even reach him, i pull away.

“why were you afraid, matt?” i question. i was genuinely curious to hear his answer, too. matt had gone full no contact with me after that night, all because he was afraid? it just didn’t make sense.

“because i like you.”

my eyes widened as the words left his mouth. i didn’t know what to say—how to even respond. it was insanity.

did i like matt? i mean, i guess.

no—sure—yes.

yes, i do like matt. i just get my feelings mixed up and lost in my mind. i mean, could we really work?

“y-you do?” i stutter out. matt turns around, and im left to drown in his eyes. he softly nods, and i form a smile.

i look down at my hands and begin to fidget with my rings, swallowing before i speak. “i like you too.”

i look up to see a smiling matt, and i grin back.

i sigh, looking out the window. “look at us, using the word ‘like’ to describe our feelings. what’re we, five?” i laugh, making him chuckle.

i turn back toward him, and matt immediately smashes his lips onto mine. i lean in, him caressing my cheeks.

matt swings an arm around my waist, fully pulling me onto his lap. i smile against his lips, reaching down and unbuckling his seatbelt beneath me.

matt bucks his hips up at the feeling of my fingers on him. i feel his bulge rub against my bare thigh, and he pulls away.

“s-sorry. is that weird?”

i shake my head. “not at all. it just shows that you really do like me.” i say with a smile, placing a hand on his jaw, and pulling him into me again.

matt takes off my cardigan, tossing it in the passengers seat. he places his hands on the seam of my miniskirt, and stops, pulling away. “can i?”

pushing my lips back onto his, i mumble “yes”, and matt pulls away again. i sigh irritably, and he gives me a look.

“use your words if you want this.”

i bite my bottom lip, matt’s eyes on them. i bite the inside of my cheek, and look out the window. matt places a soft hand on my jaw, turning me to look at him.

“hey, if you don’t want to do this, we can just head back inside. i’ll just be glad that we’re good again.” he smiles.

i nod, and he raises an eyebrow. “i want to do this.”

matt’s smile turns into a smirk, and he pulls my skirt up to my waist, places both hands on my ass. i smash my lips back onto his, smiling against him.

matt tightens the grip on my hips, leading them. i slowly begin to grind against his clothed bulge. matt pulls away, breathing heavily against the side of my face.

i continue, matt now kissing down my neck, struggling to contain himself. he’s practically digging his fingers into my skin, guiding my hips.

i pierce my lip with my teeth, trying to stop the moans that threatened to escape my mouth. “matt…”

“almost…” he pushes himself against me, making the sensation even more intense. my panties are probably a leaking mess on him as my eyes begin to water from the stimulation.

matt slows to a stop, and he catches his breath. i breathe heavily into his neck, my mascara smudging on his skin.

he pulls me off of him to take a look at my face.

“are you okay? was it too much?” he questions, genuine worry taking over his expression. i wipe the smudged mascara off of my face, smiling at him. “i’m okay, matt.”

he pulls me in, hugging me tightly. “i’m so glad we’re good now. i’ve missed you so much, y/n.” i grin widely.

i pull away, sniffling. we just stare at eachother, and i look down, my skirt still at my waist. “we should probably fix ourselves before we go back inside.” i say through a breathy chuckle.

“yeah.” matt replies. i climb off of his lap, pulling down my skirt in the passenger seat. matt looks down at his jeans, a wet spot on his crotch. i stifle my laughter, matt turning to look at me.

“i can’t go inside like this.” he says through a laugh.

“at least they’re dark wash denim.” i shrug, still laughing. he scoffs, and attempts to wipe it off.

“matt, it’s not going anywhere. it’ll be fine, it’s pretty dark inside anyway.” i reassure. he looks up at me, a small smile on his lips.

we climb out of the car, matt grabbing the slightly melted ice. “probably could’ve chosen a better time to do that.” he jokes.

we enter the foyer of the house, mia meeting us at the door. “soooo, are you two good now?” she asks eagerly.

i look at matt, and he gives me a smile.

“yeah, we’re good.”

[worldlxvlys]

FOR THE DWB W MATT PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE DO A FIC WHERE HE COMES OVER N THE GUY IS STILL THERE I WANNA SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN🙏🏻🙏🏻 YOU DONT HAVE TO THO ID JUST LOVE TO SEE IT👁️👁️

lose your shit

dwb! matt x reader

warnings: mentions of sex, violence, mentions of blood, cursing

based on these texts, it won’t really make sense if you don’t read them.

a/n: the guy’s name is alex, i hope you like this <333

shit shit shit shit.

this is not good. i look over to the man laying in my bed, he was in a dead sleep.

matt doesn’t live that far away, maybe 10 minutes tops. however, he could have left before he even sent that text.

fuck.

i began to shake alex awake. “you gotta wake up, dude”

after a few seconds, he stirred and opened his eyes. “what’s wrong?” he asked, letting out a yawn.

“nothing. you just really need to fucking go”

“alright damn, but what’s the rush?”

“please just hurry up, i don’t have time for this” i said, pulling him off the bed.

“damn, was the sex that bad?” i didn’t even answer, just looked him up and down.

“alright, jeez” i collected his clothes from the floor and handed them to him.

he took the hint, beginning to get dressed.

when he was done he just stood there.

“was there something else you needed?” i asked trying to figure out why he wouldn’t leave.

“can i at least brush my teeth?”

“does this look like a fucking hotel to you? take your shit, and get out. now.” i answered, starting to get annoyed.

he just stared at me, mouth open.

“you do have a tooth brush and running water at your house, correct?”

“well, yeah. but-“

“ok that is amazing, lovely, the quicker you get out of my house, the quicker you can take care of your dental hygiene” i said nudging him out of my room.

i pushed him all the way to my door. maybe there is hope for this man after all.

when i opened the door, there stood matt.

fucking hell.

that has to be the worst timing i’ve ever had in my entire life.

his eyes immediately snapped toward alex. “what the fuck are you doing here?”

“i could ask you the same thing, matty-boy”

they know each other.

the two men stared at each other, never breaking the intense glare.

“oh great! you two know each other! well, alex was just about to head home so, y’all can catch up later” i said, trying to get him to walk away.

“actually, i think i’m gonna stay” he said, looking matt up and down.

well, shit.

this was like something out of a god damn movie. and while it didn’t surprise me that matt was acting this way, i wasn’t expecting this from alex.

alex did not seem like the type of guy to start a fight, he seemed more like the type to run away from one. he simply wasn’t built for it, at least, that’s what i thought.

matt clenched his jaw before grabbing alex by his shirt, pulling him outside and pushing him against my house.

“jesus christ, matt” i said in shock.

“what ya gonna do matty? gonna hit me?” matt did just that, swinging at alex’s face.

“you need to stay the fuck away from her. got it?”

“no can do, matty pooh. i can’t lie, she’s a good fuck”

matt didn’t like his comment, as he pulled his fist back to punch alex again.

alex, however, was quicker this time. he caught matt’s fist with one hand and swung at him with the other.

yeah, i was definitely wrong about alex.

“hey fuckers! i don’t know if you’ve noticed but my house is white. it’d be lovely if you didn’t get blood on it !” i yelled, making matt turn his head towards me.

alex took advantage of matt’s distraction to land another blow to matt’s face.

that shit looked like it hurt.

i then pulled matt away, placing myself between the two.

“you two need to get a fucking grip” i turned to alex. “walk away before i call the cops on your ass”

i turned to matt, “you’ve made your point, let him go”

matt gave him one last glare before gesturing alex to go. with that, alex walked off “your face isn’t the only place i left marks ” he mumbled.

matt started to walk after him, but i placed my hand on his chest to stop him.

i tilted my head at him, looking into his eyes. “it’s fine. just let him go” he looked at me, eyes softening, and nodded.

once i heard alex’s car door shut and him drive away, i pulled matt inside “come on”.

i brought him to my bathroom, pulling out my first aid kit.

“did he actually mark you up?” he asked, as i grabbed a wash cloth for his face.

“no, matt. he was just trying to get under your skin” i said as i ran water over the cloth and brought it to his face.

i began to clean his cuts, making him grimace. “i know, i know. sorry”

my tongue poked out a little past my lips, as i continued to clean his cuts.

he stared down at my lips the whole time, not saying a word.

“all done.” i said as i finished up. i started to reach over him to grab a bandage. “lemme just grab a-“ he suddenly grabbed my arm halting my movements as he studied my face.

my face felt hot under his gaze, as i tried not to show how nervous he made me. without another word, he grabbed my face, pulling me in for a kiss.

he kissed me with passion, like he was pouring all of his emotions into it. it wasn’t hungry or lust-driven. it said all the things that we could never say to each other’s faces.

he pulled away, pressing his forehead to mine. “what was that for?” i asked, eyes still closed.

“i need you to know that i care about you” my eye opened at this, staring into mine.

“i’m not using you for sex. i could never do that, baby. and i’m so sorry i ever made you feel that way. you are the most important thing to me. i can’t lose you, and i couldn’t live with myself if i let anything happen to you.”

he pecked my nose.

“i know that you’re capable of making your own decisions, and i’m not trying to take that away from you. but i know that guy and he’s not the type of person you want to be around. i can’t just watch him ruin you.” he moves a piece of hair out of my face.

“so i’m sorry that i just showed up here. i’m sorry i lost my shit. i’m sorry about the blood on your house” we both chuckled.

“but i can’t help it when it comes to you, you drive me crazy”

“hmm i don’t know i kinda like it when you lose your shit, it’s hot” i said as our noses touched.

he pushed my hips against my sink.

“good” he said as he went in for another kiss.

🌀🌀🌀🌀

hope you liked :)

masterlist

tag list: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @chrissturnioloswifey @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @sosmatt @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @soursturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4

[no-nameno-face]

Late Night Call (AUDIO W/ SCRIPT)

Ellie Williams x Listener Phone Sex

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, minors do not interact. You will be blocked. PHONE SEX, masturbation, mutual masturbation, fingering, boob play, petnames (babe, baby), praise

Author's Notes: ITS HEREEEE!!!! Thank you anon for the idea Im obsessed. Definitely wanna make more of these if i can figure out a script. Anywayyysss… i made this audio with the script (loose descriptions for situation context) heavily in mind, giving room for the responses so it would play out like a real phone call… read along and enjoy the ride besties!!! hope you guys enjoy!!! <3 (ELLIE IS RED YOU ARE BLACK)

[START OF AUDIO]

Hello?

Hey babe.

Hiiii (your voice is laced with sleep)

Shit, did I wake you up?

Yesss.

Awh. Sleepy girl.

Mhmmm. What's up, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine…

Why are you calling then silly?( you say with a giggle)

Don't know… was just… thinking about you…

Oh, were you now? (the fog of your sleep starting to fade) 

Yeah.

What exactly are you thinking about Ellie?

You gonna make me say it?

Mhmm (you say, your voice still rasped from rest)

Thinking about fucking you babe. 

Thinking about how good you feel

This is one hell of a wake up... I'm not complaining. 

What are you thinking about?

Well now… I'm thinking about all the things you would do to me if I was there… enlighten me Ellie.

Fuck…

Come on, don't stop now. (a smirk in your voice, you like when she's needy)

First, id take you on the bed.

How would you “take me” El's?

Id start with your lips (Ellies fingers meet her own, imagining they are yours)

Then down your neck. (her fingers softly drift down the flesh of her neck, chills bubbling beneath her skin) 

And then what?

Fuck. Your tits. (her breathing picks up as her hands squeeze, following her words.) 

Jesus ellie. Please tell me more. 

Id suck on you, while my fingers drift lower. (phone pinched between her shoulder and ear she has one hand firmly squeezing her boob the other drifts down between her legs.)

I'd tease you. (she circles her clit softly, breathing heavy)

Make you beg for it. (her fingers drift down to her entrance, spreading her slick across it)

Ellie, please… 

Fuck… (her fingers slide into her, slowly and she breathes into the pleasure) 

I want you to touch yourself. (her head rocks back, imagining you rubbing your clit to her voice. To the image of her.)

Already there babe…

Shit… so good. (a painting of you pleasuring yourself decorates her mind as her fingers plunge in and out of her) 

God, I wish you were here.

Wish I could watch you fuck yourself. (her core pulses at the thought)

Fuck ellie. Feels so good. 

Yeah? Making yourself feel so good? Thinking about me? (she's tightening around her fingers, getting close just by the sound of your voice. Your sighs. Your soft moans.)

Such a good girl.

Oh my god ellie. Im fucking close, your voice. Your… fuck

Me too, baby. Me too. So close… (her eyes squint as she holds back the pleasure threatening to boil over the edge) Fuck…

Ellie… (your voice comes desperate now, a plea)

Cum with me babe. Yeah? Cum with me. Fuck… (her body flexes around her fingers and she breaths a silent orgasm, too focused on listening to your less restrained sounds to let herself make a peep, you are making her climax harder just by the sound of you. It ravages her and sends a shockwave through her legs, leaving them quaking.)

[END OF AUDIO] 

Jesus babe… 

Fuck. (ellie chuckles at your shaky breath)

That was…

Fucking hot? 

Yeah… (she laughs) 

Well shit… feel free to call whenever if it's gonna be like that.

Noted (a smile in her voice)

[brynnterpretations]

Where Damage Isn’t Already Done

Victoria Neuman x Wife!Reader

The worst thing about it is the coffee.

⌗ fluff ⌗ fix-it ⌗ short-fic ⌗ title from "where damage isn't already done" by the radio dept.

Contains spoilers for The Boys, Season 4, Episode 8. Please do not click read more unless you have watched it.

You and Vic had talked about what your dream home with each other would be even when you first started dating. It was therapeutic, you supposed; considering you met each other at a Vought gala, you knew that you wouldn’t be very normal, nor would your relationship. Even if you somehow got everything you wanted — Vic as President, you practicing law, conflict of interest only in the bedroom — there was no such thing as retiring. Or relaxing, really. So, you talked about it. Vic wanted a beautiful home in Big Sur, overlooking the ocean, with an easy route down for Zoe to play, or maybe a Roman villa in the heart of the Spanish countryside, surrounded by sheep and farm animals — you’d be the ones taking care of them, though, Vic did not do farm animals. Certainly, it wasn’t this.

“Where is this, even?” asked Zoe. Honestly, neither you nor Vic really knew outside of being somewhere in the southwest, where even the bison looked miserable. You took another glance at your new ID on the table, your fake name and fake smile staring back at you. Despite you three being on strict orders from the CIA and the entirety of the Boys coup to never leave the house — thank God they’d given you basic living essentials — they’d still given you IDs just in case.

You sat down at the table. Victoria flipped through Zoe’s homework assignment, taken from a homeschooling book Hughie was kind enough to give to you all considering you weren’t permitted to use Internet, before passing it to you. You snorted quietly once you took a glance; it was English, a weak spot for Vic, considering her aversion to anything impractical. You doubted she wanted to hear anymore about Moby Dick than she’d probably already heard years ago. “Well, the thing they stressed was where we’re not.” 

Zoe made a sour face, but when Victoria pressed a kiss to her forehead, it dissolved. She passed you a cup of coffee and sat at the table. “How’s the book?”

“Fine,” shrugged Zoe. “It’s easy.”

Looking over Zoe’s essay, you could tell she’s telling the truth. “This is great, Zoe.”

“Thanks,” smiled Zoe. She ate her Cheerios with a bit more enthusiasm. You all were still getting used to not having fresh-cooked food. You took a look at the coffee. Truthfully, you and Vic had become huge coffee snobs after you came across the term “third-wave coffee” on Twitter, and as you looked into its inky depths, you tried to forget about Café Integral and Third Rail. Do not think of a rosemary espresso tonic right now. Do not think of a rosemary espresso tonic right now. 

“Oh, Jesus,” she said suddenly, spitting out her coffee. “I don’t think there’s even any coffee in this.” 

You looked over at Victoria, who was dressed in an argyle sweater, slacks, and fuzzy socks that you’d gifted her for Christmas, even though neither of you celebrated. It wasn’t often you didn’t see her in her power gear or without makeup, and she looked younger. Better. It would be stupid to think that it made her look carefree — you all were boiling with tension, terrified of laser beams blasting through the creaky, deteriorating front door — but it certainly made it feel different. As if, after you and Vic had bled and fought only to end up where you started again in New York City, you were finally somewhere that would bring different results.

“I’ll get you some water,” you said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Maybe you weren't in a vista house or beside beautiful oceans or even in a place that had good coffee, but as Zoe and Vic began bickering over Moby Dick, you couldn't imagine why that would ever matter.

[sapphsorrows]

"people only pick on trans people because they're easy targets" yeah no shit they're easy targets just like flat earthers and antivaxxers. what they believe is absolutely fucking insane when you think about it for more than 2 seconds.

the idea of trans is no different from the idea of predestination.

predestination says only those who have been chosen by god will be saved and will go to heaven. how do you know you're predestined? there is literally no way to tell externally. there is no test you take to make sure you're predestined. you just have to put your faith in jesus and know, internally, in your heart, or whatever. funny how literally everyone who believes this also happens to be one of the ~chosen ones~.

the idea of being trans is that some people are born in the wrong body. how do you know you're born in the wrong body? there is literally no external way to tell, aside from maybe a few "am I trans?" quizlets (which as we all know are 100% accurate always and only made by professionals and not 12 year old furries). you just look inside, or whatever, and somehow "know" or you decide for yourself. then, based on your own self-reporting, which you have no way to externally verify, you expect people to bend to your will and you expect society to give you special privileges that no one else gets. no other man gets to pee in the ladies' or compete in women's sports but once you self-id as trans? well, right this way "ma'am", pay no mind to the women cowering in fear of you. their rights don't matter nearly as much as your feelings. funny how damn near everyone who believes in this also happens to be trans themselves, will a few outliers.

even "gender critical" transes like mr. blaire white and ms. buck angel will talk in hours upon hours of videos about the importance of gatekeeping and protecting women's spaces, yet /they/ demand the exact same privileges as every other "fake" (in their words) trans person on tiktok. do you seriously think "fake" trans people are going to listen to you and suddenly not go into the women's? No! are you fucking kidding me? it's so much easier to tell a buck or a blaire to fuck off than it is to a delusional fetishist who will 100% either hurt you or make a scene. there is no "true trans" because EVERYONE claims to be truly trans, everyone from bruce jenner to the "IT IS MA'AM" gamestop dude.

it fucking baffles me how youtube skeptics - people i used to admire, people who taught me how to think critically about shit - will spend all damn day dunking on flat earthers and creationists but will turn a blind eye to the trans cray and will even go as far as to support them. they think they're so above it all and they can't be fooled, but they have been, and I keep waiting for them to snap out of it - just like I waited for my own family to snap out of christianity - but they haven't.

if you seriously think a dress and some hormones and plastic surgery will make a man into a woman, you're insane, and you're no more crazy than a youtuber who thinks antarctica is an ice wall or a pastor who still prays to his "sky daddy". you have no right to make fun of these people for the insane shit they believe when you believe in this nonsense. you are quite literally the pot calling the kettle black.

and if you're one of those people who's like "oh well i know they're not actually women i just call them that to avoid hurting their feelings" im sorry but you're still in this cult, you're physically in but mentally out and the only way to really get out is to call a spade a spade, admit the emperor has no clothes, admit you were fooled just like me - just like all of us - and speak out against it.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

A flock of elephants

Written for the November warm-up round of the @steddieholidaydrabbles

Prompt: Bakery AU

Rated: T

CW: some sexual tension and innuendo

Tags: Baker Steve, Rockstar Eddie

Notes: Can be read as a continuation of this microfic

“You don't understand how huge a deal this is, Steve,” Dustin says. He’s wiggling in the passenger seat, trying to take in every bit of their surroundings as they pull up to the concert hall. 

Steve huffs and squints at the signs. There's security and fans and staff everywhere and he can feel a headache coming up. 

"A guy asked me to bake a cake, so what? It's literally what I do for a living, nothing-" 

"A guy asked you to-" Dustin sputters. "Excuse me, what did you say? Eddie Munson commissioned you to bake a replica of his world famous Warlock, do you have any- Do you even know who Eddie Munson is?" 

"Of course I know," Steve grouses. "I don't live under a rock." 

"Oh yeah?" Dustin levels him with an unimpressed look. "Name one of his songs." 

"Please," Steve rolls his eyes. "You're blasting that shit on repeat, it's practically seared into my brain. Especially the one about the elephants." 

Dustin stares at him. Steve resists the urge to pinch his nose.

"You know the one! What was it? Flock of Elephants?" 

Dustin crumples into the car seat and slaps both palms to his forehead. "It's A Court of Sycophants, Steve! Oh my God!"

"Synchro-what?" Steve ignores the way his neck prickles and takes a sharp right. "You just made that up. Now help me look for the delivery entrance or we won't have ourselves a deal at all." 

*

Once they find the entrance, it turns out he forgot the ID badge that the label sent, because of fucking course he did. He spends about half an hour trying to convince the grumpy security guard to let them in while Dustin has a complete meltdown. Just as he's ready to give up, they're rescued by the appearance of a tiny blonde in a pink cardigan who cheerfully introduces herself as Eddie’s manager. 

"Sorry about Hop," she says for what must be the fourth time, while Steve sets up the guitar-shaped cake at the center of the buffet and Dustin inspects the backstage lounge with awestruck eyes. "He takes his job very seriously." 

"Yeah, I noticed," Steve mutters. She seems nice enough, but he really doesn’t wanna engage in smalltalk right now. The bustle of the stage hands and the hot air of the venue are making him squeamish. All he wants to do is get this over with and go home.

Unfortunately fate must hate him, because that is the exact moment that a familiar voice says, "Hey, Chris. No matter what Hop tells you, I didn't order hookers to the venue. I dunno where he got the-" 

Dustin starts squealing. 

"Oh my God, you're Eddie Munson!"

Eddie squints at him like a confused cat. 

"Last time I checked, yeah. And you are?" 

"Dustin," says Dustin, like that explains everything. "I'm with Steve." 

Eddie’s eyes flit over and his face breaks into a delighted, dimpled smile. 

"Baker boy, hi!" 

Steve's mouth goes dry. 

He doesn’t know why, but all of the easy confidence of their last meeting is suddenly gone. 

Maybe it's because they were in the bakery, on his own turf, and now they're on Eddie’s, where the lights and the noise and the hum of the crowd in the auditorium are grating on his nerves. 

Maybe it's because last time, Eddie looked like just some guy in his ripped jeans and ratty hoody, unwashed hair piled in a chaotic bun, and now …

… now he's in a pair of leather pants that are so tight they may as well be spray-painted on and what looks like a fucking harness, hair cascading around his face and shoulders in a halo of messy curls and is that eyeliner? 

"Woah," Eddie breathes, eyes growing large, and yup, eyeliner. Definitely eyeliner, Jesus fucking Christ. With two long strides of those impossibly long legs, he's beside Steve and ogling the cake with an awestruck face. "This is fucking incredible, dude, it looks just like the real thing. You did all that from the photos?" 

By some miracle, Steve manages to channel the incoming blush into a sly pop of his hips and a smug eyebrow quirk. 

"Told you I was the best." 

Eddie is looking at him like he didn't bake a cake but hung the moon, which … in combination with the eyeliner and the leather and the harness of it all? Steve squirms in his jeans.

"Okay, erm … if that's all, I'll send over the bill by-" 

"Wait, what? You're not staying for the show?" Eddie swivels to Chrissy, all righteous indignation. "Why are they not staying for the show?" 

Chrissy shrugs, at the same time that Steve says, "That's really not necessa-" 

"We'd love to stay!" 

Dustin shoves himself between them, elbowing him in the kidneys. While Steve is still coughing, Eddie turns to Chrissy. 

"Show the young man to the backstage area, Chris?" 

Dustin looks like he's about to die of happiness, so Steve resigns himself to his fate. 

"Will you play the one about the psychopaths?" he asks as they trail after him. "It's his favorite." 

"Psycho-" Eddie’s brow wrinkles.

"Sycophants, Steve!" Dustin hollers from ahead. "Jesus!" 

"Anyways," Steve says over Eddie’s rumbling laughter. "You really didn't have to-" 

"I know I didn't." Eddie accepts his guitar - the real one - from a stage hand and slings it over his shoulder. "But I saw what you're best at, so I figured I'd return the favor." 

"Careful there," Steve huffs. "All you've done is ogle my cake. You may wanna try it first." 

"Oh, I'm planning to …" Eddie's smile is sharp as he leans in, close to his ear. "Preferably with less people around, though." 

And then he's gone, stepping out on the stage, making his guitar wail. 

Steve can't quite tell if the roar in his ears is the crowd or the sound of his own blood.

[icarusredwings]

I rewatched Deadpool 2 and took notes.

Disclaimer: He's mentally ill and does mentally ill things (GASP, who would have thought?). Also, violence. A lot of violence. It's really long. Like.. really really long.

The very first words he says is "fuck wolverine"

Then blows his own head off with a shit ton of gasoline. Wonder if he had insurance on that appartment.

He started taking worldwide cases

He also admits to knowing "8th grade spanish"

"Passion of the christ. Then me." Says the man whos marvel jesus now.

I wonder how much wade owes cab guy.

Cab guy killed bandu Lmao

"What is it?"

"My IUD"

"A bomb??" Tell me why he was lowkey excited for it to be a bomb?

I love how serious he gets talking about how scared he is to be a dad.

This empire joke traveled from the first movie too.

"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way but we can try" yes.

When making toaster strudles its almost as if he could sense them coming despite it being so silent. This kind of makes me think that Logans not the only one who just jumps up sometimes.

This man really just said "Fuck it" jumped out of a 2 story window, BOLTED after this guy as fast as he could, got hit by a car, rammed another car, and whole ass hugged this guy before jumping in front of a truck with him. I don't want to see anyone try to tell me he's one sandwitch drop away from jumping off a cliff.

Cinatography by Blind Al.

Directed by one of those guys that killed john wicks dog.

God I love Ryan Reynolds because you know it was him.

Wade stop peeing your pants in public.

Weasel "We still have bowie..." Yeah id lie to him too at this point.

"Yeah im fine"

Fucked up

Insecure

Needy and

Emotional. Kübler ross apprently.

"Buck no more speaking lines for you" and he meant that shit.

Al is so humble and sweet. Making tea and giggling. Tries to shoot him and then just hears him collapse on the floor. How many times do you think he collapses on the floor a week? Just to be drimatic?

"Sweetheart can you speak up? Its a little hard to hear you with yhat pity dick in your mouth" Oh so shes his mom. Al is his fucking mom. Hands down. And the best one.

I love how he decided to do an entire bag of cocaine before dying. There was no reason for it and honestly was a waste of cocaine until you realize that these cocaine is wades whiskey. Shots dont work for him really, probably because hes already done it so much, but its the same way how Logan chugs that bottle before wade kidnaps him. Its easier to blame it on a substance then accept those were your actions.

Ness is so cute. The poster behind her has "I love you wade wilson" scratched into it. Its nice to know that his version of heaven is literally just a cozy Saturday morning with his wife.

Colossus just walking in to find wades body parts everywhere and put him in a bag like old dirty clothes lol

"Why cant I fucking die" tone was SO serious.

The fact that theres an x men rule book and its lowkey thicker then a bible. I bet you scott and Logan made 80% of those.

"That asshole was me" oh the tears. Baby boyy.

Wait isnt cable literally scotts son.

Im never going to understand this fucking time line jesus christ

Mutant rehabilitation?? What is he a drug addict? That kid is clearly in pain dipshits.

"X men trainee" is so funny

"Please stop cheating on me"

Daniel the pedophile looking ass

Bro casually signs ryan reynolds on the wolverine cereal box and then destroys his knee caps.

"Those guys hurt you??" It was at that moment, wade went ape shit.

Wade having fun in prison is so him. But come on imagine going to prison just for standing up to an abused child. Not to mention, His face when he immediately realizes how fucked he is and that "oh shit I actually DO have cancer now and it SUCKS"

Is it just me or does Cable reminds you of forge with all his cool fix it abilities. Or is he just futurey.

He didn't say were not friends to make him upset but to draw attention to himself. Him just eye rolling when stabbed in the hand was so funny too because he was like "Ouch. God damn it. Ducking OUCH."

Hes literally pleading with russel to find someone else to peotect him or hes gonna get molested because he cant do anything. His entire power is replacing dead cells WITH new cancer cells. His entire body is dying 24/7 but never fast enough to actually kill him, always regrowing way too quickly. Cancerous is better then dead.

"Get away from me kid" yeah cause he knows hes trouble and he REALLY doesn't wanna watch this kid die.

"Who the hell tries to kill a 14 year old boy"

"Kids give us a chance to be better then we used to be"

Dopinder is so wholesome. I love him so much. No i dont care that he killed a guy. Hes the type of friend you call to take to the movies or the zoo once every year and hes stoked just to be invited.

Peter: I just thought it looked fun :D

Dopinder: FUCK

Peter is that one dad whos kids left the nest and now he needs friends and a hobby so searches for the biggest weirdos he can find.

"Grab the boy- NOT INAPPROPRIATELY >:("

i love his crayon maps/plans

Oh my god weasel im not telling you anything ever again you snitch (same dude, cable is terrifying)

After crying over the love he has for his new team (x force) Wade confirms that he spent 10 years in special forces.

I love how supportive wade is with Peter despite him just being a normal dude only for him to immediately die LMAO

He just cassually lets his impulse win in which he steals a moped.

Oh i just noticed Dominos vitiligo. I always loved vitiligo charaters. Theyre so unique and barley ever given movie roles. Like why not?? Why wouldnt you want someone so beautiful? Im pretty sure she just has make up but it would be cool if not.

Something else is that cable just starts yeeting criminals out onto the street lol

"Theres nothing I cant kill" Let me intorduce you to the man whos on a constant road to dying but can never actually get there.

Im assuming cable wants to kill russel because he unleashes a big bad guy or something.

*cassually snaps neck back into place* Oh god that hurt!

Oh I was right! It was Juggernaut :)

Wade: *gets excited about being PHYSICALLY ripped in half*

"Rub my legs mama 🥺 I got growing pains"

"Oh noo! No no no Dp not again!" We love you Dopinder. Do not ever stop caring. "This shits happened before!?" Yes weasel. Sometimes your friends get ripped in half. Get used to it.

Wade just moves her gun to the right position.

Wade talking about saving russel is so serious that it makes you forget that he has a tiny baby ass rn. I couldn't make a deal with someone woth tiny baby legs... just... no. Not to mention that those baby legs are made of cancer.

"50 years from now you're super fucking dead"

Wade standing outside of the xmen mansion with his phone and a picture of a boom box playing music for Colossus to come outside and help him save russel is something i can see happening to Logan. They have a fight and he storms off to the mansion only for wade to stand outside like that.

"Hi Wade🎀✨️" "Hi Yukio!🥹 you guys make a super cute couple 😊 where was I? 🤨"

"So you wear a helmet so your brother cant read your mind?" "Yeaaahh" average kid conversations.

"Lets fuck some shit up is my legal middle name"

Okay sir edgelord.

Apprently wade has a gluten sensitivity

What is it with wade and metal men??? My man has a type.

"Im just gonna use this brick and maximum effort" Same wade. Same.

Yaayy!! Go yukio! Eveyone loves yukio.

"Thats how we do it in mother russia" What? Shoving an electrical cable up their ass and then put them in a pool? Damn. Ok.

That "I never should have never left you in that prison" with the hug? Man hed be a decent dad I think.

"Dont be ive been trying to make this happen for awhile" okay someone supervise him 24/7. Hes on the active watch list.

Wade: *is dying* Hi Yukio :D

Yukio: Hi wade :)

"R-dog" Oh my god hes too cute.

Them carrying the racist joke all the way til the end made me cringe but that was the point.

His last words being "do you wanna build a snow man?" Is such a deadpool thing.

I was NOT expecting to cry at the end of this stupid ass movie, AGAIN

"Dont fuck colossus" VANESSA KNEW

THE FUCKING COIN

"Is there a knife in my dick?" "There's a knife in your dick."

Oh I just didn't even notice she has heterochromancia! <3 Aahh!!

PFFT DOPINDERS SECOND CONFIRMED KILL

"WERE DEFINITELY NAMINF OUR KID CHER"

"Dont scratch!" *shoots himself 8 times* "Love you! Bye."

Wolverine: ???

[enjolraspermettendo]

I finally saw Les Miserables live in Milan yesterday so obligatory yap:

Okay first of all: KILLIAN DONNELLY?!?!?!? I was already excited that I was going to see him as Valjean but god that man's voice is just so beautiful. He played a spectacular Valjean, he dominated the stage and the crowd went wild every time he sang. I have no words. Just. What an experience. The whole cast was amazing but jesus, this man could do a one man show of Les mis and id give my first born to see it. Also, he carried around Marius's actor like he weighed nothing, that's so Valjean of him. Also, his soliloquy broke me, how he tried to give back the candlesticks after the bishop gave them to him, how he let the bag fall on the floor and picked it up only later. The emotion he put into his singing constantly brought tears to my eyes. What a voice. Indescribable

JAVERT!!!! Bradley Jaden was amazing. I love how much rage he gave to his character, it felt very true to the novel, on how he's compared to a wolf. In stars he's so devoted but the part that literally shook me was after he let Valjean and Marius go: he literally lost his mind and shouted "WHO IS THIS MAN" with such a wild air I literally gasped. He was unhinged during that song, so outraged and bitter and I loved it. It almost felt like he was killing himself to take Valjean's act of mercy away from him instead of his internal turmoil and honestly? I loved it. He had such a presence on stage it literally felt like he was the law. Also let's be honest, he rocked the coat

I LOVED Channa Hewitt as Fantine, She had such a warm and soft voice it felt like a mother's embrace. I cried 4 times during the show and 2 of those were Fantine's death and Fantine's part during the finale. She was perfect

Nathania Ong as Eponine????? I don't think I've ever heard someone sing her parts as perfectly as her. What a voice. Honestly I think the applauses for her were some of the longest and they were completely deserved. She made me cry. Amazing. Spectacular. I fell a little bit a lot in love. Unfortunately she missed the "He was never mine to lose" line but I think it was because her microphone wasn't connected?? Never mind she was perfect.

I know you all want to know about our boys Enjolras and Grantaire so. There wasn't much enjoltaire going on tbh but I didn't mind, I still think the actors (James D. Gish and Raymond Walsh) were perfect and I love their performance. Enjolras was completely focused on the revolution and keeping the others on track, while Grantaire mainly stuck with Gavroche all throughout. Enjolras's most positive reaction to grantaire was ironically clapping with the others at R's jokes once during Red and Black, but apart from that he was fairly hostile to him. During Drink With Me he tried to stop R from singing and bringing down morale by getting close to him and roughly saying "That's enough!" into the same microphone; after he stopped singing and everyone started moving away Enjolras tried to stop Grantaire or talk to him, he seemed kind of apologetic, but R Simply raised his bottle to him in a mock toast and then turned his back to him and I loved that, I love a bitter and petty Grantaire. Grantaire at the beginning was very amused by the whole situation and the excitement of the others, during red and black and the building of the barricade he kept hyping Gavroche up and parting his shoulder, nudging him towards the others as if it was all a game. When the first shots sounded he seemed to realize the gravity of the situation and started nudging Gavroche away and motioning for him to go away; later when the shooting for the fall of the barricade started sounding he lifted Gavroche in his arms and held him as the others started to fall until only them and Enjolras stood; then Gavroche went limp and R died with him, Enjolras died last. For the rest of the show and for Empty Chairs at Empty Tables Enjolras, Grantaire and Gavroche were on the small balcony/platform over the centre of the stage and to be honest it had a very "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" vibe in my opinion.

One Day More was absurd, it gave me chills all throughout.

When Valjean died and the bishop came in the hugged each other very hard, Valjean basically fell into the bishop's arms and that hit me hard.

Gavroche was so sassy I loved him.

Honestly everyone was perfect I literally have nothing bad to say. I think Enjolras's actor lost controls of his voice on a sillable but who cares, it was all amazing.

I also got merch! (It was all so expensive????? But I couldn't help myself). I got a tote bag with Cosette's famous illustration, a magnet and a brochure with the history of Lea Miserables and information and interviews of the World Tour cast. I also got 2 of the paper bags (they were cute okay) and my mum grabbed a literal handful of the bookmarks they were giving away lmao.

I'm sure I had something else I wanted to say but after these last 3 days my brain is completely scrambled. If any of you were at the show yesterday or are going in these days feel free to hit me up so we can go crazy together lmao

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

"if you cant make a joke about a giant evil fish god, you dont understand comedy" they would sooo get along

"are you really telling me that susy homemaker started spouting a death prophecy and you just packed her bags and sent her on her dream vacation?" "i. dont. remember! and even if i did, what does it matter. we have bigger problems. that wasnt just a death prophecy, sis, that was doomsday talk. the end of all things. and i dont know about you but i dont really look forward to returning to the primordial abyss. i dont really like being more than a 4 hour flight from paris. we've wasted enough time, we need to get this situation under control"

begrudgingly dragged to the good side bc too much of a hedonist to let earth be destroyed. i think matska and missy have spent more than an evening together. i think they meet up semi-regularly to get away from the tedium of evil business and hang out for a long weekend with someone who gets it

[innocent-artery]

is this how u request? anyways! i was wondering if u could do like a spencer reid w like a girl best friend, but like he has feelings for her

she does all these little things for him like bring him coffee and food and let him ramble and stuff

i was thinking of writing it myself but id love to see someone else’s take <3

This is typically how people send in requests (either via inbox or comments) so you're good! I had so much fun writing this, thank you for sending it in!

Loverboy

1.6k words

Summary: Spencer's got a big fat crush on his best friend.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!bestfriend!reader

For the sake of avoiding spoilers, extensive warnings will not be given. Reader discretion advised.

While reading, I recommend listening to valentine's day - a spotify playlist by me!

~

Everyone in the office that morning knew that it was far too early to be there. Spencer, more than most, relied heavily on the power of caffeine to get his day going. It was not uncommon for folks to be carrying around a mug even in the late hours of the night.

And as always you, like a gift from God, would always saunter through the meeting room door with two steaming cups of coffee and a weary smile.

Spencer adored you. Although everyone on the team had a place in his heart, you were always the one closest to him. You were the one who had taken the time to get to know him, who listened to anything he had to say and got to know him as more than a coworker, an agent, a "resident genius" like he was some kind of appliance.

It was rocky at first, no doubt. Spencer was not the most perceptive when it came to reading social cues (or giving them to others), so his stiff and awkward nature took a while to see past. Eventually, you managed to break down the walls of caution around him, and over the span of a few years the two of you became more accustomed to being around each other more than anyone else. Even though you spent practically days together at a time, the two of you found solace in each other's presence, often heading back to someone's apartment and ordering takeout to wind down after the case with a movie.

To Spencer's embarrassment and yours, it had become the group's joke to refer to you two as The Soulmates. The first time Morgan made the joke, Spencer's entire face went a deep shade of red and he couldn't look at anything other than his feet for the rest of the hour. Eventually the two of you became accustomed to the running joke, brushing it off with a sarcastic laugh and roll of the eyes.

To be fair, Morgan wasn't entirely wrong. The two of you were joined at the hip, but you were just friends. It saddened Spencer to think about it sometimes, really. But he was content with having you so close, to be able to work with you and come home with you. To get to bring each other coffee and let you rest your head on his shoulder when you fell asleep was a closeness he granted to few people, and so he was, for the most part, satisfied with having you as you did.

That morning was no different. The sun had just barely risen, and Spencer was stifling a yawn as sugar poured into his cup like water. This morning was odd- a thought had struck him in the car, a comment Prentiss had made saying you and him were like a married couple. Was that true? Spencer knew plenty of married people but he didn't see them in action very often.

Would you even want to marry him? No, Spencer thought. You were just his friend. Sure, you did all sorts of favors for him and hugged him, but that was surely just a mark of close friendship.

"Morning, pretty boy." Morgan came up beside him, bringing a mug down from the shelf.

"Morning." Spencer replied, sipping from his coffee.

"So have you proposed yet?"

Spencer nearly choked on his coffee, replying with a "what?!" once he stopped spluttering that might have been a tad bit too incredulous.

"Jesus, Reid, I was kidding." Morgan held his hands up, but he still wore an amused grin.

""We're just friends, Morgan." Spencer said defensively, moving to prepare another cup.

"You're making her morning coffee right now, pretty boy. You know who does that?" Morgan gestured his mug in Spencer's direction. "Married couples."

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and coworkers."

"Keep tellin' yourself that, Reid." Morgan gave him a pat on the shoulder, sauntering back over to his desk with his free hand in his pocket.

Spencer heaved a relieved sigh, taking both cups over towards your desk. You beamed at him when the smell hit your nose.

"Well thank you, Spencer." You squeezed his wrist affectionately, and Spencer thought he might die. He turned his head to hide the stupid smile on his face, mumbling a "welcome", but the other direction didn't help him much. Morgan's desk shared a divider wall with yours, so the man in question simply raised his brow, a knowing smirk surely hidden behind his coffee cup.

Spencer rolled his eyes, turning back towards you. Your head was tilted in concern. "You alright, Spencer? You seem a bit jittery."

To strangers, Spencer might always seem jittery, like a nervous cat. But you could tell the difference.

Spencer cleared his throat. "I'm alright. Too much coffee, maybe."

Spencer nearly slapped himself when he realized his mug was still full. He prayed you didn't notice, tilting the rim so you couldn't see its contents.

"Alright kidlets, let's get this party started." Garcia called from the meeting room door, a stack of envelopes tucked under her arm.

You pushed off from your chair, nudging Spencer's shoulder. "Let's get this party started," you chuckled.

Spencer lightly touched his arm where you'd nudged him, watching you make your way across the office.

"Let's get this party started, Loverboy," Morgan, seemingly coming from nowhere, rubbed his shoulder against Spencer's dramatically, voice risen in pitch.

"Shut up!" Spencer pushed the man off of him, but couldn't help the laugh that came with it.

. . .

Four days later the team was right back where it started, making coffee and wrapping up paperwork- only this time there was a silent agreement that everyone wanted to get home.

Even in these low-energy moments Spencer still stayed by you, sitting with his legs folded on the large table nearest your desk, scribbling away.

His head perked up when he heard your chair wheeling over to him. "So, yours or mine?"

Spencer tried to ignore the way your arms folded over his knee to rest your chin atop them. "Uh- I was actually hoping yours?"

He definitely liked your place better than his. As much as he wanted to make it home, his apartment really was just a place for him to sleep at night and keep all of his stuff. Your apartment reminded him of you- but he wouldn't admit that that's the real reason he preferred your apartment to his.

You hummed. "Chinese?"

"Sounds good." Spencer was actually in a mood for Indian cuisine, but when you suggested Chinese it suddenly sounded like the best idea ever.

Work passed by fast, something that could rarely be said about Spencer's job. He was just excited to be going home, he told himself, even though he was headed to yours after this.

Although Spencer had to admit, your apartment was practically his. You both had a few items belonging to the other that you always forgot to take back. Spencer even had a travel toothbrush that sat in the cup on your sink. He knew where all your dishes were, knew your DVD collection by heart. He never lingered at the doorway like he might do at a new friend's place, he kicked his shoes off and made himself at home, because really, he was.

Tonight was no different. Spencer was sprawled out on your couch, half-empty foam box of chow mein sitting on the coffee table, and you under his arm. When you'd made yourself comfortable next to him, Spencer felt butterflies in his stomach, he thought. It was a marvel to him, hearing a phrase like that so often but not knowing what it really meant until now.

The time was nearing one in the morning, and while Spencer was still engrossed in whatever film you'd picked out this time, you were fast asleep, head heavy on his chest.

Spencer glanced over at you, smiling softly to himself.

"You know, you're not making this any easier for me." Spencer whispered, stroking your arm. "I mean, I'm not complaining, you know, but it's kind of hard to suppress a crush when you're falling asleep on me."

Spencer knew you couldn't hear him, which is why he felt a breath of relief leave him when the words came out. He attempted, with slow and careful movements, to adjust you to sleep on the couch. Spencer thanked whatever god might be out there that you'd purchased a sleep-worthy couch- he knew, he'd tested it personally.

"Good night," Spencer murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your hairline and giving you one last glance from the doorway.

Maybe someday.

. . .

It was mornings like these that tested Spencer's willpower.

It had not even been six hours since he'd left your home that he was being called in on another case. So here he was. Five days later, doing the exact same thing: making two cups of coffee.

But as always, you made it better.

"Spencer!"

He didn't have to turn to know who was calling him, but he did anyways, just to look at you. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I had a pretty nice pillow," you teased, and Spencer's ears turned red. "Hey, are you free Saturday?"

"Yeah, if Hotch doesn't call us in at the crack of dawn." Spencer snorts.

"Great. There's an art exhibit I wanted to see and it wouldn't be as boring if I went alone." You grinned, gratefully taking the mug he offered you.

"Can't imagine a better way to spend a Saturday." Spencer agreed.

"It's a date then."

Spencer's eyes went as wide as saucers at your response, mouth falling open a little. You giggled at his reaction.

"C'mon, Hotch is waiting." You turned, not waiting for a reply.

Spencer shook his head as if to clear it, a stupid grin plastered across his face as he trailed behind you.

It's a date.

~

[multch]

Pig Mask.

Hoffman x Reader [18+] CW: Suggestive content\ Drinking\ Implies Hoffman is here for a job\ afab Reader

It's Halloween and it's the reader's first time at a kinkclub were they run into a mysterious man- dressed head to toe in full black with an interesting pig mask covering their face..

Oh curious stranger, what brought you here?

Tonight is cold and the streets in this part of town run wild. You never found a reason in particular to celebrate Halloween- it was the race for discounted chocolate afterwards which you found more amusing. Never did you expect yourself to have heels on the pavement below you and an ID in your hand on a Thursday night yet here you were. 

Barely dressed at 11:35 outside a hardly discreet looking kinkclub.

If it wasn't for the line of skimpy costumes, animal heads and ghost masks waiting in line- Sure, any observer would have mistaken it for just a simple bar; however, it was far from that…

After a week of whining, your friends managed to finally drag you out of bed and out of your shell. God had it been ages since your last relationship! They pestered. 

They weren't wrong… However, there's only so much a girl can do when her last partner was as much of a train wreck as they were. What are you supposed to do when your “sweetheart” manages to cheat on you 6 times before you even realized!

Safe to say, all you knew after that was the day-to-day work, eat, aggressively binge watch netflix just to eat again and sleep.

No doubt- if you were desperate you could've handled yourself but I guess the look of all the sleepless nights you held under your eyes finally broke your besties because god where they relentless.

Practically pushing you out the door, you had spent the hour prior having costumes thrown at you, glitter getting everywhere and successfully having your face beat half to death.

You wore a black silk bikini top, a pleated mini skirt and lacy rabbit ears.

Anyone could've mistaken you for a hooker but you're not. You were a sexy little playboy bunny. Duhhhh!

*

Carefully managing yourself down the steps, you find yourself amidst a crowd of too many people leaving no room between them for Jesus. You understood this club was sexual but you could have never anticipated seeing it to this extent. The room was open with a hallway breaking off to a series of rooms you’d expect people to use but the sheer velocity of makeout sessions against the ignored doors made you second guess their purpose. Towards the back were shelves of bright coloured bottles with a group of seemingly regular swingers sitting in a pack and enjoying a couple drinks. There were staff openly walking around with protection and… toys.. but they were hard to see amongst the dense crowd of creepy rubber masks. You were beginning to sweat like a hooker in church from so many crude acts. So many people grinding and grabbing made you subconsciously wander over towards the less rowdy bar near the back- ignoring a few wild requests with each step closer.

Keeping your head low to avoid your eyes accidentally meeting the sudden sight of an exhibition, you sat down- waving down the bartender for a fruity cocktail to ease your nerves

Beside you sat a larger (almost threatening) man dressed head to toe in black tactical gear with a matted and grimy pig mask concealing his face. He had a cold whisky in front of him. You kind of wanted him to take a sip so you could see his face yet still, he didn't. You had no way of seeing where his eyes landed in the room but you could tell his focus was anywhere but at his drink as he perched like a stone statue staring out into the crowd.

After some contemplating, curiosity finally caught the cat. You shuffled one seat over and saw his head turn from the crowd to your attention.

“Got a partner out there I’m guessing?” you chuckled.

“Who in their right mind would go here if they could do it at home?” he joked. Wow! You thought. In shock at his sass, yes, but more at the low growl of his voice. You could care less about his face now. You could already tell he was HOT.

“What's up with the mask?” 

“What's the deal with the ears?” he mocked.

He turned back to lift and gently swivel his drink. 

You look back at him. He looked back at you. 

The silence would have almost been uncomfortable if it wasn't for the audible sounds of moaning coming from the other side of the room making it impossible to take this situation seriously. Exhabitionists.

He was quiet for a few seconds, then sighed. “You haven't been here before have you?”

“How did you know?” You questioned.

“You don't exactly look like… a regular..” he answered. Clearly.

It took you a couple seconds to understand what he was suggesting. 

No, you didn't look like a regular. 

You couldn’t understand if he was talking about substance abuse in this part of town- cheap thrills with lifelong side effects your friends had already chewed your ear off about- or if it was your costume. A few people wore similar outfits yet the majority of this club consisted of bulky character heads or people holding one beside them as they practically got their mouths chewed off by a partner..

Shaking his head, he proceeded to lift his mask up above his chin and take a long sip of his now room-temperature glass of whiskey.

You stared at his lips as they pressed against the glass. They were plump enough to make you wonder if they would feel soft against your own. How they would feel along your skin. How they would feel sucking deep on your- No! You fought back.

Dirty thoughts were one thing but imagining having sex with the person sitting right next to you is crossing a line!

“Take a photo, it'll last longer” he chuckled, placing the glass back on the bench.

You hadn't realized how long you had spent gazing at his lips that when he finally spoke, it almost made you jump out of your seat.

“Ah! Sorry it's just… I haven't seen who I'm talking to,” You blurt out, “your face..”

You couldn't see his eyes but you knew just then that he was staring right into yours.

“Good thing you’re not going to,” he sighed, “You should learn the rules around here before you fall in- girly, if you wanna see who someone is- you better be taking them to bed tonight..”

The flush that fell over your face was laughable! Bright pink and at a loss for words, The man decided he’d answer the question painted- no, stained across your shocked face…

“Comin’ here dressed in nothing but a pair of ears is risky, lucky you found me in time.”

“In.. time?” you repeated, mumbling.

“Waltzing in here declaring you’re free meat, the wrong asshole could’ve swept you off your feet and done God-knows-what to you,” he groaned, “I’m Mark.”

You sat there, wide eyed and more flushed than ever, “Y\n” you breathed. 

You sat beside Mark for a brief moment. The constant sounds of sex and small talk felt like it had finally drowned out as a new wave of confidence overcame you. This was your chance. You shifted in your seat to try to close some of the space between the two of you. 

Were you rusty at this, obviously! But you decided to consider the sheer quantity of romance movies you watched like gospel to be ‘training’. This was going to be a cake walk, you believed.

The black, lacey rabbit ears you had been wearing hit this side of his drink with a loud clink! as you slid them down the bench.

“I wouldn’t mind a little fool around if it meant I could see the man behind this mask of yours..” This was super forward. More than usual but you couldn’t shake the yearning of your own curiosity. You had to see what he was hiding under that mask- maybe even under that tight shirt too.

He let out a quick grunt. Watching the gears turn in his head, you looked up at him through your lashes. He seemed to struggle under your gaze a little.

“Look, Bunny- I just can’t. I’m not here for that tonight,” sighed Mark, “You’re a tempting little thing but I’m supposed to be on the lookout for something a little… different..” Just your luck! you were upset to say the least. Your first time hitting on someone since you and your ex broke up and you get rejected. 

You gesture over the bartender, at least with a drink maybe you’d feel a little less embarrassed. 

You ask for an old fashioned. Before you can pay and leave, his deep husky voice speaks up, “Add it to my tab”

*

You get your drink and turn your chair to thank him but what meets you instead is a surprise.

Expecting a ratty pig mask, you meet two dark eyes gazing back at you. His eyelashes were low and seductive. His jaw stubbly and defined. His lips just as plump and round yet you now notice the long scar stretching along the side of his face once shrouded in darkness, Wow.

You were now just as curious as ever.

The sound of an abrupt low and grouchy cough snaps you back to reality. “Y\n was it?... I might be a bit.. preoccupied at the moment but that doesn’t mean I wont find the time to teach a newbie like you,” whispered Mark, “Meet me here tomorrow, same time, same place and I’ll teach you what this club really is all about..” He leapt up off his chair and grabbed the black duffle laying at his feet, walking off and disappearing into the crowd. The black mess of hair on his pig mask being the last you see of him. If it wasn't for sex, what could a man like him want from a place like this?

[zikkytheblicky]

ofcc!! srry this is late.

☆ for my ml, angel anon.

(NON-BLACK PEOPLE DNI. THE SLUR IS USED MULTIPLE TIMES)

⊹content warnings⊹

(don't scroll past this, it's important since i changed up gojo n’ geto + readers attitude 😃)

- both gojo and geto blasian so dont be surprised if you hear suguru’s racist comments and satoru and suguru js speaking ghetto ☠️..

-feminine male reader- anon didnt specify but id they want me to change this i will make a separate post for them 🫶🏾!!

-black reader cuz angel anon is black.

-not smut nor fluff.. i forgot if this type of stuff is called lemon or lime! sorry 😭💓.

-reader gets kinda aggressive im ngl to you like he did not take gojos little antic lightly

-kinda made reader gojo n suguru ghetto. idk i didnt think ts with much thought

-gojo tries to get his lick back, forgetting you were a real 🥷🏾 despite being feminine. he needs to stop playing with m!reader fr

-you’re very spoiled because i’m a SUCKERERR for spoiled reader x jjk character.

-this is not proofread i’m so sorry 😭!! + i did this like at 11-4 or sum

-sadly anon didn’t specify if they wanted top surgery reader or not so to be safe i’m just gonna say he does!!

-use of you/your pronouns except for when gojo is yapping/complaining to you’re brattiness to getou.

-no sourcerer au.

-rich gojo (SHOCKING 😨)

a/n: i hate this piece it sounds so tacky 😭..

♡︎NOT CAPITALIZED ON PURPOSE !!

to say you weren’t usually bratty is an understatement— it rarely happens unless you’re joking or you’re being bratty towards someone else not gojo.

it all happened first, when gojo took you to get your nails done and you didn’t give him your signature move for when he gives you something you want— pulling on his collar/tie and kissing on his cheek along with a sweet, “thank you satoru ! i love you! see you later!” or something along those lines— you instead give him a mere glance and a dry, bored “bye, gojo.” before walking over to your bestfriend(s) who were also getting their nails done. and by the way you were giggling into your palm when you thought satoru left shows you were trying to get him riled up.

satoru thought it was cute ,

at first. then it started getting him annoyed and a bit triggered.

and what does he do when he doesn’t agree with something you do?

…

obviously don’t tell you about it and instead goes to bother his best friend- suguru- about it instead.

“he’s been acting so bratty suguru. i remember when i got him his favorite color of glittery roses and all he did was say a dry response like, “oh thanks, gojo.” HE DIDN’T EVEN SAY SATORU OR A PET NAME RAGGHH” satoru screamed out into his phone microphone, his eyes puffy from all the fake crying he did earlier.

“don’t you have work to do? also he’s just going through a phase satoru, you’ll live.” suguru said dryly, the sound of the clicking of a keyboard and the sounds of a pen being smoothly dragged across a paper filling satoru’s apple headphones.

“you wouldn’t understand suguru..” satoru whined, blinking his bright blue eyes at the camera. His pouting lips sucking up the last bit of juice from his drink.

“all you have to do is punish him y’know?” suguru muttered, he shuts his book staring at satoru with a disgusted face. “Ew . stop pouting your lips while making fuckin sucking motions you look like a monk.” suguru sniffed, grabbing his bonnet and putting his hair up.

“i dont wanna hurt himmmm-“ satoru whined, ignoring suguru’s racist comment.

“not like that, durdur.”

satoru could practically hear the roll of geto’s eyes as he saw the younger dark skinned man pick up his phone and turn off his camera- most likely about to get ready for bed- it was 11 am after all.

“in a sexual way, nigga.” suguru mumbled out, the sounds of crinkling sheets flowing in and out of satoru’s ears nicely.

“oh my god… suguru you mastermind.” gojo smirked, grabbing his macbook and opening it swiftly.

“jesus christ what are you gonna do, satoru?” suguru asked with a sigh, rubbing his temple soothingly- he sounded so tired of gojo’s antics.

“ight so the plan is..”

it is late. you just got home from an interview of what life is like being satoru gojo’s husband— you hate those types of reporters. instead of worrying about what the content of your creator was, they worried about your status. oh, how annoying they are.

you kick off your jordans, rubbing your eyes gently- thankfully you didn’t put on any eyeliner.

you head into the first kitchen on the first floor, went into the pantry and took out a fruit snack before you head upstairs- when you were pulling up into your driveway all of gojo’s cars were in his drive so you know he is home.

i’m surprised he isn’t cuddling up on me already.. You thought with a snort, twisting your curls in boredom.

your curls bounce as you skip your way up the carpeted stairs, entering you and gojo’s shared room.

“satoru-.”

there, you say your husband in a thin, silky robe, nike pro boxers on, his 24 carat gold stud earrings glistening in the low light the seeped into the room, a thin 24 carat gold necklace, and slides on. he was at his desk, typing away on his phone, he didn’t even notice you until you cleared your throat, crossing your arms over your chest.

the albino haired man lazily turned over to you, a bored look on his face though you could see a faint smirk on your husband’s face.

what is this nigga smirking for ? you thought with a scoff, your slippers making loud noises as you walk over to him.

“oh. hi, ‘mn’.” satoru’s tone was bored and disinterested, he went back onto his phone and started typing quickly. and he had such an excited expression, a ghost of a smile on his lips like he was trying to hide the fact that he was more interested in whoever he was texting instead of you.

and that pissed you off. like who the fuck is this nigga talkin too that catches his attention more than you? his boyfriend ?

that damn phone i'm about to throw that shit.

“satoru.”

no answer.

“satoru?”

no answer again. who the fuck was this negro on the phone with?

“SATORU-“ you yelled, pulling his ear out from his bonnet- being careful not to pull his earring out. sure, you were annoyed at him but you aren’t going to hurt him.

“what the fuck- what? damn.” gojo groaned, putting his phone screen to his chest with an annoyed glare.

who the fuck does he think hes talking too?

“nigga who do you think you’re talking to? i’m not the one stop trippin’.” you crossed your arms, releasing satoru’s ear.

“what did i even do?” satoru responded too calmly- the fucker had a visible smirk on his face too.

silence .

silence is what you “responded” with before smashing your lips with satoru’s, grabbing his white dreads and rubbing his scalp gently- completely opposite from your prior action.

satoru’s tongue licked almost every corner of your mouth, tasting the bitter vodka taste left in your mouth.

you both pulled away with a string of spit following each other's mouths.

“don’t dish out the heat if you cannot take the heat back, darling~!” satoru purred out, grabbing you by your waist and pulling you into his lap.

you tsked in response, resting your head on his neck.

and maybe later that night satoru punishes you by forcing you to cockwarm him for an hour straight.

(you failed after 10 minutes.)

ts is short asl ik but like 🙁

[aesthetic-uni]

Okay Arcane Season 2 Final reaction -Episode 7

I am freaking the FUCK out

In case anyone is wondering, Jinx is my favorite, I want happiness for her, don’t get me wrong I love all the others but if she’s not happy by the end of this you won’t ever see me again

Opening vinyl-I literally stopped breathing ID THAT EKKO AND JINX AGSJRBLDJ?!?!

My king Ekko, where have you been all this time. Please come home we miss you

EKKO?! And is that little drawing Jinx??

OH ALTERNATE UNIVERSE TIME BABEY so many fanfics are going to go off this I can tell

EKKO!! He looks so handsome and alive!!! (My hopes for these characters ARE VERY LOW AS YOU CAN TELL)

Jinx looks so cute!!!

BENZO!! Oh my fucking god is this going to be a Happy Universe that NONE OF THEM ARE GOING TO GET?! I’m going to throw myself off a cliff.

Oh my god no one ever address Ekko’s trauma with Benzo I’m so glad they’re doing it THAT WAS HIS DAD!!

This is cruel. This is just cruel how DARE they give us a happy au

No Netflix I will not skip the intro fuck off

AAAAW EKKO NOO SEEING EVERYTHING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN

God Jinx looks SO CUTE I need so much fanart of her

Ps I know this is technically Powder, I’m too lazy to constantly switch names so Jinx

Also does she have a pink streak in her hair? I don’t like the implications of that

Aaaaaw they’re partners :((((

MYLO AND CLAGGOR HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU OH FUCK OH GOD

Wait omg “Trouble in paradise” TIMEBOMB?!

I have gotten through THREE MINUTES OF THIS SHOW

Oh that cute Jinxer is here woo! Lmao Mylo is so real.

Aaaw Claggor he’s trying to help the city and he cares about his little sister AND HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ARCANE

AAAW JINX TRYING TO HELP MYLO FUCKING HELL ARCANE

“WHAT WOULD THEY DO WITHOUT YOU” JESUS CHRIST ARCANE

Okay this isn’t funny anymore where’s Vi

Okay but is it OUR professor?! (I can’t spell his name)

IT IS!!

Okay but WHY what’s happening with Jayce?!

VI VI VI VI VI

OH NO JAYCE WHY CANT HE BE HAPPY TOO?!

Ooooh his HAMMER is why he got sent to the apocalypse au huh

Is that evil Viktor. Is that the Machine Herald? IS IT TIME FOR GLORIOUS EVOLUTION?!

Wow I was just joking with the apocalypse au but it really was it huh?

Aw I like that Jinx kept her workshop

Is that a heart. Around a picture of them. IS TIMEBOMB ACTUALLY CANON IN THIS UNIVERSE?!

Wait, is this THEIR WORKSHOP?!

FUCK I KNEW VI WAS GOING TO BE DEAD GOD DAMN IT

Oh this isn’t happy at all :(

OH FUCK THIS ISNT HAPPY AT ALL

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT HOLY HELL?! OH MY GOD THERE WAS NO REASON FOR SHOWING ME THAT

Way to hammer it in Arcane for no fucking reason other than MAKING ME CRY YOU PIECE OF SHIT. LIKE I GOT IT. VI IS DEAD IN THAT UNIVERSE. DIDNT NEED TO SHOW ME HER SIBLINGS REACTING TO HER DEATH

GLORIOUS EVOLUTION HORROR

Oh god not doomed Timebomb IN THE FUCKING HAPPY AU

Poor Jayce just has to fucking go through it huh

Wow that is an understatement.

Okay but MelJayVik crumbs ILL TAKE IT

YEAH THE PERSEVERE JAYCE!!!!

NO STOP MAKING ME CRY WITH THE HAPPY AU

There’s not much I can say with Jayce other than holy fuck this poor man

God they could have been partners. They could have been the brightest minds in all of Zaun. They could have been HAPPY. I fucking hate this show why would you show me this. I’m never going to recover

HE BROKE TIME BABY!!! FOUR SECONDS BACKWARDS LETS GOOOO

God they are so in love. God this is going to kill me

Oh my god the fanartists and editors are going to MURDER me with the “Do you think we together in every universe” trend aren’t they?

SILCO?! ZAUNDADS CANON?!

Ekko hold on. EKKO HOLD ON.

Oh my god this reference to season 1 episode 4 how fucking dare you

HOW DARE YOU MAKE TIMEBOMB CANON LIKE THIS?! AURRRGGGHHHH

Ripping my hair out. Clawing my eyes out. Beating my chest until it caves in. This is everything I could ever want. HOW. DARE. YOU.

I love them. I love them so much. Why would you do this to me.

IM GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK

[thefloorisbalaclava]

gasp id love it if you wrote something about soap and bubble bath sex 👹 like reader keeps teasing him for liking bubbles and he playfully pulls her in 🫶

I love this!!

Pairing: john 'soap' mactavish x f!reader

Warnings: teasing, silly johnny, naughty johnny, wet clothes, silly sex, unprotected sex*

*before anyone says it is not a good idea to have sex in bathwater, remember this is fanfic, so you can do what the fuck you want

You were in bed looking at your phone when you heard the front door open and close. John's familiar footfalls made their way up the stairs and to the bedroom. He came through the door and dramatically leaned against the wall with a sigh.

"God, you're a sight for sore eyes," he said with a smirk. He closed his eyes and let his head hit the wall. "I'm fucking knackered."

"I can tell," you said. "A shower will help you relax then...you can come to bed."

He perked up. "I'm trying to relax, lass, and you're giving me other ideas."

"Don't start, Johnny," you giggled.

He walked further into the room and undressed. You rolled onto your side to watch. You never missed a chance to admire him. You knew every scar by heart now, but your hands still itched to touch and trace each one.

"Join you soon, love," he said before entering the bathroom. He looked back before closing the door, catching you staring at his ass. "Naughty..."

As soon as you laid back down, you hear a familiar call from the bathroom.

"Lass!" He waited a breath then, "Love, I need you!"

You giggled and shook your head as you rolled out of bed and walked to the bathroom. You opened the door.

"Yes...Johnny..." You stared at the man in the bathtub. "Bubbles?"

"Shut up. Have you seen my rubber duckie?" he asked.

You opened the cabinet and pulled out his favorite duckie. "Here he is." You walked over and handed it to him.

"Thanks, love. Now, can you scratch my head?" He gave you his puppy dog eyes. He knew you couldn't say no to them.

"Yes, Johnny." You sat on the tub's edge, and he put his head on your lap as you began scratching at his scalp.

"Sorry, I'm gettin' your shirt all wet," he said, and you shrugged.

"It's yours anyway," you chuckled, and he looked up at you.

"Get in with me?" he asked.

"No, Johnny. I already took a shower. I don't...ah!" With lightning-quick reflexes, he pulled you in, and now the shirt was soaked. "Johnny!"

"Got you in here with me." He smiled rakishly.

"You're such a brat."

He looked down at the wet t-shirt, which was now see-through. "Hmmm," he hummed, eyeing your breasts.

"Perv," you sighed.

"You should take it off," he suggested.

"No." You pouted, and he kissed you.

"C'mere, lass. You don't look comfortable." He moved you so that your entire body was in the water now.

"I would be much more comfortable if my shirt wasn't soaked through," you complained.

"Ah ah, my shirt, love. Remember?" he said.

"Smart ass. Come here." You pulled him to you and kissed him. "That's how I shut you up."

"I can think of some other ways, too," he teased, squeezing your sides.

"Can you?" You straddled him, splashing some of the water out of the tub.

He looked down. "I can."

"Are you gonna tell me?"

"Maybe." He pulled you closer, and his hardening cock brushed against your thigh. He bit his lip and you grinned.

"Was that a hint?"

"You tell me, lass." He groaned as you slid your hand under the bubbles and around his cock. As you lowered yourself down onto him, he threw his head back.

"Well, you sure aren't talking," you joked, trying to keep your composure.

"God, I'll never get over how fuckin' good you feel," he mumbled. "Steamin' Jesus..."

You giggled at his expression before giving in to your moans.

"You laughin' at me?" he asked, grabbing your ass playfully and moving you back and forth on him slowly.

"Steamin' Jesus," you teased, mocking his accent.

"The accent's gettin' better," he said before burying his face against your neck and sucking the sensitive skin.

"Mmm Johnny," you moaned, moving your hips against him faster.

"And that's soundin' better too, hm..." he hummed. You could feel him smiling against your neck.

"Still don't know how to shut up, huh?"

He thrusted up into you, and you yelped. "Quiet, you," he warned.

"Johnny..." you whined. He chuckled, and you glared at him. "I will climb out of here right now..."

He pushed his hips up into you, and you cried out. "Oh, no, you won't."

"You're...a fucking...fucking..." you moaned.

"Fuckin' what, lass?" He fucked you slow and deep from below. You threw your head back, and he groaned. "Look at how gorgeous you are..." He looked down at your nipples, now completely visible under the soaked white t-shirt. He latched onto one of them through the shirt.

"Ah!" Your pussy clenched around him as you came. He knew exactly what he was doing.

He wasn't far behind. He almost always came after feeling you cum around him. He cried out, then rested his head on your shoulder as he caught his breath.

"Why have we never done that before?" he asked.

"I don't know." You played with his hair. "This water is freezing."

"That's because you made us stay in too long," he said.

"I did not! You pulled me in here!"

He lifted his head and chuckled at the pout on your face. "You're even sexy when you pout."

You took some of what was left of the bubbles and splashed them on his face. "I'm getting out. I'm already all pruney." You stood and he hissed.

"Easy, lass. Still sensitive," he told you.

You struggled to get out of the wet shirt. While you were distracted, John stepped out of the tub and helped you get the shirt off.

"There you are," he said sweetly. He tossed the shirt aside, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around you. "Let's get you warm." He rubbed your arms a few times before grabbing his towel. He quickly dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist.

When you both were dry, you walked back into the bedroom and climbed into bed.

"Baths always put me to sleep," you yawned.

"Hey! I like to think I had somethin' to do with it as well." He feigned offense.

"Just cuddle me and shut up," you said.

"Tsk, so demandin'," he complained even as he climbed in bed and wrapped his arms around you.

"Warm," you sighed, tucking your head under his chin.

"Sleep now," he said quietly. "Tha gaol agam ort."

"Love you too, Johnny."

[Masterlist]