#id love to talk about this in therapy

[sky-and-stars-for-forever]

Why is accepting I've been, and kind of am still, a bad friend, so hard. I know it but it hurts, it hurts so much to have hurt, to maybe keep hurting, without meaning to. To hurt because of cowardice and insecurities....

[faunandfloraas]

im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism

yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm

[moeblob]

Ladd: but why would you kill me when I'm willing to kill for you?? Lass: omg you can't just say you'd kill someone, Ladd. that's murder and it's frowned upon.

(and then Ladd does kill for her but it's fine and part of the job)

[medicallyfascinating]

Something that's super fun about being autistic, traumatised and anxious is that when I make new friends, my immediate instinct is to find every single reason why they would hate me.

I am utterly convinced that everyone hates me (untrue, I have friends) and therefore I believe that I am the problem because if EVERYONE hates me then clearly I am the problem

And it's insane. AND I KNOW ITS INSANE. But that doesn't stop me lying on my bed at quarter to midnight, crying because I'm so convinced that it is inevitable that everyone I like will end up hating me.

Especially considering that they TELL ME THEY LIKE ME

THEY TELL ME TO MY FACE THAT IM IMPORTANT TO THEM BUT NOOOOOOO- I MAKE UP THESE STUPID THINGS IN MY HEAD AND CONVINCE MYSELF THAT EVERYONE WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF I JUST DISAPPEARED INTO A HOLE AND NEVER CAME OUT

anyway

I'm fine

people like me. people love me. I am needed. I am wanted. I am loved. I have just had a bit to drink and I'm tired.

I am needed. I am wanted. I am loved. I am allowed to make mistakes. I am allowed to be flawed.

[rinofwater]

I just found a clinic nearby that does gender-affirming surgeries so top surgery might actually be a feasible thing for me in the near(ish) future

I found a job that seems to have all the stuff I liked from one of my last jobs without the extra bullshit I didn't (can't apply for it currently but that kind of job exists and that's reassuring)

Things might be starting to look up for me

[scalpelsister]

what if i lost the will to live like. as a joke. what then.

[trekkele]

Oh? You like [popular ship]? Which one is always making "unecessary boundaries" and is "emotionally incompetent" and which one is always stomping over those boundaries in the name of "emotional competence"?

[iconsumeheadcanons]

WHY ARE PHONE CALLS SO FUCKING QUIET??? I HAVE MY PHONE AT FULL VOLUME EVERYTIME AND ITS RIGHT NEXT TO MY EAR AND I STILL Can't FUCKING HEAR THE PERSON I'm TALKING TO OR THE SHITTY ASS HOLD MUSIC I HAVE TO LISTEN TO FOR HALF AN HOUR EVERYDAY

[llycaons]

also be serious do you think wei wuxiam is opening up to a stranger. do you think he's going to talk about his suicidal ideation and abusive parents and self-worth issues with someone he knows has the legal right to detain him and admit him to a hospital where he will lose his phyiscal autonomy. in his paranoid state of the post-ss arc, after being tortured and abused by authority figures and an invading army, in a modern au after being failed by whatever social system presumably exists during his time on the streets, or EVER? lwj and jc are also extremely repressed and uncommunicative and put up walls to project strength and untouchability but if there's one character who's absolutely never going to talk to cops its wwx

[soupblr]

.

[vampireroyal]

I wish I could afford therapy again 😋

[some-random-fandom-chick]

.

[fortunatefool]

Not to date myself but sometimes in the middle of a crisis u get to hear Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare) by Kid Cudi featuring MGMT and Ratatat, Steve Aoki Remix and feel joy for the first time in a week and a half

[kaffeebaby]

What kinda stuff are you writing about!!

Most of the stuff I'm writing right now are better call saul fanfics. I've always been more of a fanfic writer as opposed to making original characters and worlds.

A lot of my fanfic ideas are the "What if this happened instead?" genre. Like what if Gus rehired Gale and made him work with both Walt and Jesse? That would change a lot of stuff, and I had explored some ideas months ago, but I kinda stopped thinking about it as much as other ideas that were more interesting to me started crowding my mind. I don't want this post to get too long but also >:3c

Lately, I've been trying to come up with ideas for a fic where Chuck forgets to cancel his appointment when he's having his last breakdown, so he misses his appointment and his therapist shows up at his house concerned. And she ends up getting him to a hospital where he can be treated before he has the chance to do anything worse than tear his house apart. That event would completely change everything else that happens in the show, and would even impact the stuff that happens in BrBa, so it's been a lot to think about. I basically have to figure out a way for Chuck's life to become livable for him, plus I have to figure out how Saul can still happen if Chuck is still there and Kim doesn't divorce him due to Howard and Lalo never happening, and. Many other things.

But I have a rough outline of different things that need to happen, and I'm the type of person that daydreams or fantasizes a lot throughout the day, especially at night, so it's nice to have a pet project that has some interesting challenges. I get to justify thinking about blorbos all day because it goes back to something I want to write about.

The one wip I mentioned in my tags was a Chuck and Howard smut that I was writing during January this year. I planned to have it finished and posted on Valentine's Day, but I got the stomach flu like two weeks before that which completely ruined any ability to write people having sex. I tried to keep writing after I wasn't sick anymore, but it was kinda done for at that point, since the deadline was actually really motivating me. I've thought about trying to write more on it again, and I've even considered posting it in its half finished state with an author's note that it's not done. There are very few Chuck and Howard fics, and I only ship them recreationally, so at first I wasn't so upset and not finishing and posting the work. But the more time drags on, the more I feel like there are people who would actually like to read my rarepair fanfic, even if I posted it unfinished with a warning and the possibility I'd finish it later. It works where it is right now, but it's very much not as long as I wanted it to be and there's a lot more stuff I wanted to add that I just don't feel the motivation for at this point. But also that doesn't mean I should keep it locked up forever.

I have some other fic ideas that I've been floating around, but my brain has been consumed by my Chuck Lives AU for a while and it's kinda hard to focus on other stuff. I do have a google doc of all my fic ideas though, and I visit it every now and then when I'm in the mood to write or want to refresh what all of my ideas are. I've been a lot better lately at actually writing down ideas as they come to me so that I don't forget them later.

[acid-ixx]

I hope you don’t mind but I need to ramble this to someone, neglected Wayne reader right? The fam would forget to bring them to social events and whatnot right? So there would be very few pictures, articles and interviews or even facts about them, meaning that reader Wayne is a rarity. Still following me? Reader Wayne with a small but devout fanbase.

I’m talking they are trading the latest pictures and sharing links to the rare interview with reader in it, following any social media they have that isn’t private, they are just fascinated by this micro celebrity that seems to always be forgotten. Okay but also imagine one of the heroes developing a para-social attachment to reader. My money is on Conner Kent, mainly bc he can project his own issues with his dads onto reader and he can Dolores ~Encanto~ reader with his super hearing and develop a even bigger parasocial obsession with them

I hope you enjoyed this ramble, I will leave you be now, see ya later alligator! 🐊

omg another one of my asks that actually predicted a major plot point... this ask ties well with the last part written here. i'm thinking about having the reader get a love interest/s but i have already written an outline but one thing is for sure—

you have more than just your family interested in taking you.

major spoilers below the cut. — an excerpt from chapter xx

(name) wayne may have been a name forcefully deleted off of the face of the internet, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its conspiracies of its own. nobody knows who you are beyond the blurry, unsolicited pictures of you. it may have been a photograph of your back, or articles published in unknown websites and buried at the far end about a kid entering through the fancy gates of the wayne manor.

you are a product of a one-night-stand.

but they don't know who the mother is, don't know your age, or where you come from, and what business bruce has with the woman to guarantee your adoption at the instance she had disappeared without warning.

your existence was a mystery most would like to solve. after all, it was your picture that was plastered all over the newspapers and articles, it was your name that journalists whisper and it was a silhouette of your face that the underground knows by heart. every known information about you was shared discretely yet efficiently like some sort of virus.

you were a target for interest, a large sum of money if they will. and alfred had taken it in his hands to make sure there would never be a repeat of what had happened before.

it was a clumsy mistake, one that cost you your memories, and one he swears on his life he'll never make again.

the first course of action he needs to arrange, which may seem difficult for most; he needs to confront bruce.

after all, your freedom is your doom.

maybe this is out of the picture, but id' like to imagine you and connor having a therapy session where one comes out absolutely obsessed with the other, and it's not you.

connor's character for me is so, so good for an angst potential. it's like his personal struggles is a way for him to show you how absolutely you two are meant to be. and he may have met you through bumping into you (false) or maybe... he has seen you stalking through the shadows back when he visits the manor. using his superhearing, he can hear your voice from the kitchen begging alfred to relay a message to bruce, sounding so absolutely desperate. it's the way you tell alfred how you wished your father actually spends time with you, or how nobody seems to notice you— that he kind of just makes a silent promise that he will talk to you soon, he needs to know why this family seems so keen on ignoring and how hypocritical tim is for literally doing the same thing to you when he's aware of kon's past.

if he (or anyone else) should be a love interest (though he is a minor character in the series unless you guys want him to be a major one), i can already imagine the absolute hell you have to suffer not only from your family but from your own lover. just imagine the stockholm syndrome or the delusions you convince yourself with because you're finally loved by someone but that love restricts you from the very freedom you tried to build.

the batfamily would be so conflicted because why are you choosing some stranger over them...? then you slap them in the face with, "well, this "stranger" wants to kidnap me and lock me up, sure! but at least they actually looked at me for more than five seconds!" and you can watch how the color drains off their face, their conflict giving you the perfect opportunity to run away from both your ex-family and your soon-to-be-kidnapper-lover who thinks your comeback is a funny way for you to propose.

[flowisk]

I love this exchange. Roman and Shiv have such an interesting relationship, where they’re constantly fighting and barbing each other but also seem to vent to each other the most. They can’t really sincerely respond to each other’s issues, but they’re both good at playing a specific kind of bantering game that other characters like Connor and Kendall can’t play.