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capesandshapes · 4 years ago

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Yours (Ladynoir)

Summary:

Marinette is crushed when Lila shows up to lunch with a matebite of her own, insisting that it's from Adrien. The shock finally leads her to make a decision, one which her kitty is hesitant to agree to.

“You’re an alpha,” she said, voice shaking as she crawled closer, admitting the facts that they’d long ignored. “I’m an omega.” “I know,” he replied miserably. “You need to start pulling away, you’re starting to warm up and I can almost scent you.” "Bite me."

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Cold.

She wasn’t sure if it was her or the slow breezes rolling through Paris that night, lifting stray strands of hair and depositing them in her eyes when she needed them the least. She brushed them away, securing the hair behind her ears as she pulled herself daringly closer to the edge of the rooftop she sat upon, eyes glimpsing momentarily out to the city before her arms wrapped around her knees, pulling them in so that her chin could rest upon them.

Inwardly, she cursed the effects of biology, hot tears biting at the corners of her eyes that likely wouldn’t exist if DNA had assigned her any other role. Alpha or Beta, she could have lived with those, she could have fought through this if it were one of them-- but Omega? Of course she had to be born like this, of course she had to have that building sensation gnawing at her stomach that made actual rational thoughts a haze.

And of course Lila freakin’ Rossi had to claim to receive his mate mark, the telltale purple ring of teeth marks making it undeniable. Adrien wore scent maskers for his own sake, but it made sense that the overwhelming smell of Adrien branded cologne would have been crafted from him.

What was supposed to be another normal lunch date with Alya had quickly devolved into her walking away alone, Lila repeatedly reassuring Alya that she gets it because, you know, Omegas are just so emotional sometimes ! Lila might have been a Beta, but she was also a Cancer and that made her extra empathetic.

Marinette was not a fan of astrology… or Lila. Or, as of half an hour ago, Adrien Agreste.

How could he mate her ? Out of all the people, why Lila?

Was Marinette really that blind?

And now she was the last one! Everyone else had already gone around biting each other-- and even if her parents said that things don’t always happen quite as early, Marinette was sick of it! Sick of being alone, sick of shivering in her nest with nothing to hold and no one to hold her-- of waiting again and again for someone to see her--

Of sitting in black and red alone on rooftops alone, because that was the only way she could even hope to escape the pinkened haze that overcame her. At least when she was Ladybug, she could think. At least when she was Ladybug no one gave her pitying looks, smelling the oncoming wave of heat approaching her and noting the perfectly pale and unmarked skin on her neck. At least when she was Ladybug, she was never really alone.

“Hey bug,” a voice from behind greeted her as if on cue. His body easily slid into the space beside her as his arm ran around the small of her back in greeting, head falling against her shoulder as he very clearly took in her miserable expression.

She didn’t speak. There was nothing really left to say, not in this situation. Instead, she let her head slump on top of his, hand finally relinquishing the grip on her knees if only to respond to him.

She was expecting him, though she wouldn’t say it. She always expected him at moments like this. She wouldn’t tell him that, or even admit it to herself but, that was the reason that she came out there half the time.

She knew, and he must have been aware as well, exactly what her partner was. She knew it from the way that one touch never felt enough, the way that he always knew the exact moments she needed him the most, and that desire that kept coming in waves over and over again to just have something-- just a little bit of him-- to keep as her own.

Chat was an Alpha and she was another blushing Omega trying to fight the tides of nature.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked, thumb drawing long, gentle strokes just below her ribs.

“No,” she lied, the hint of a sob immediately betraying her. God she was pathetic, crying over the matebite of a boy that she never had any claim to to begin with.

“Mhm.”

His disbelief was evident, coaxing out of her, as it always did, the truth of her misery. She tried to bite it back, but it came tumbling out as usual, every little thought that she didn’t want anyone to know. “Do you ever feel like we’re falling behind? Like everyone else is onto something and they’re moving on, and you’re just dragging on behind them. Everyone has someone, absolutely everyone now, and here I am just struggling to get by.” Her eyes drifted to his neck, momentarily eyeing the pale, unmarked skin there, “well not everyone, but--”

“You feel alone,” he summarized, voice sounding like he knew about being alone in the seemingly endless ways that she did.

“Very alone,” she confirmed, allowing her knees to fall to the side and her body to slump further into his with a sigh of defeat. “Someday you’re going to have an omega and I’m not going to have this anymore, and I’m going to have to learn to get by. You’re going to be in love and I’ll be happy for you, but miserable at the same time.”

“I’m not going to have an omega,” he laughed, pulling his head out from under hers with a grin. He leaned further into her vision, exaggeratedly rolling his eyes at her. “How would I get the time? I told you, I’m a college student and I plan to be a college student for many years more. There’s no way I can balance that, being a superhero, friends, and work all at the same time. By the second week she’d be wearing turtleneck sweaters around me in case the thought so much as crossed my mind.”

“You say that now…”

“I say that every single time you bring up that ridiculous idea,” Chat shook his head, settling back in beside her. “Besides, I told you, I have a lot to get over before I can so much as think of meeting someone new,” he said pointedly, eyes trained on the city but a hint of a smirk still on his lips.

Right.

“What if it was me,” she began. It was normally a hypothetical statement, one which he responded to with grandiose visions of moonlight nights, well-padded nests, and an insistence that he would wear the mark on his neck as if one of honor. She loved when he responded like that, when he gave her all those fantasies to fixate on later in the night. That night it didn’t feel so hypothetical.

“You’ve gone delirious from heat,” Chat said, his eyes dropping back down to his lap.

“I’ve not,” she said, though her heart had begun to beat like she was already gone. Too much excitement, too much want. Chat, chat, chat, chat-- how could she ever imagine Adrien at her side when Chat was the one who was always there?

Mating didn’t have to be about love-- but could she deny that she loved him just a little bit?

“Ladybug,” he warned.

She wouldn’t listen to him, wouldn’t let herself be swayed by things such as logic and reason. “Ladybug and Chat Noir, we’re two halves of a whole! It makes sense!” She insisted, grabbing his hands as he began to pull away, hoping that the clarity in her eyes would convince him of how overwhelmingly present she was at that moment. “Chat, I--”

“What about the other guy?” He interrupted, pulling back.

“He has someone,” she replied, the immediately flinched at the way that his eyes widened. Before he could pull away, she lunged forward, face just inches from his as she tried to keep his gaze. “It’s not like that, we’re not like that. I mean maybe I realized because of that but you’re--” She exhaled, hands tightening around his as an overwhelming need to pull closer gnawed at her. No doubt he saw her pupils grow as she looked at him, really looked at him.

It was biology, plain and simple. They’d been sidestepping the boundaries of desire through suits and determination, now she was really looking at him and she couldn’t fight back the blood of an omega loudly begging for more.

“You’re an alpha,” she said, voice shaking as she crawled closer, admitting the facts that they’d long ignored. “I’m an omega.”

“I know,” he replied miserably. “You need to start pulling away, you’re starting to warm up and I can almost scent you.”

She was, wasn’t she? She was starting to feel miserably warm, miserably close to the edge of the cliff known as heat-- a place where logical thoughts and awareness went to die. She didn’t want to drop it, to lose herself to desire and have him write it off as a onetime moment of insanity. More than that, she didn’t want him to give in and the moment to be lost to her in the haze of need. “Bite me,” she half commanded, half begged him. A part of her was terrified that he wouldn’t agree, that she was so terrible an omega that he no longer wanted her.

His eyes clenched shut, hands desperately clenching down onto hers as he tried to inhale and gather enough air to hold his breath. Unfortunately, there was too much of her lingering in the air for him not to recognize.

His eyes snapped open, body jerking back as the scent of vanilla and cinnamon lingered in the air, her wettened eyes staring back at him. She knew from that motion alone, a hint of a sob escaping her as doubt, the kind bred by those awful hormones, began to overtake her. He knew, he knew exactly who she was now.

His hands pulled away from hers and a sob racked her body, the fear of rejection overcoming her. It wouldn’t be because she was Marinette, Chat liked Marinette for who she was, it would be because she’d waited too long. It would be because he’d actually already done the moving on thing, he’d just lied to placate her.

His body turned to face her wholly and it was worse, so much worse than knowing Adrien had chosen Lila. It was worse than sitting alone, worse than looking at the mark on Alya’s throat and being reassured that it would happen someday, worse than every single time he vanished at an Akuma’s hands and she had to worry whether he would come back or not.

No, with this he would change it all. They’d still work together but there wouldn’t be moments like this. He would pull away, he would--

His lips gently touched the tip of her nose, bringing her back to reality.

“Do you hear me, Marinette?” he said, checking that it was still here, that she was not lost yet. His face was close, far too close, and her lips fell open in awe at the way the gold of his hair caught the moonlight. “I said yes,” he explained, thumb brushing a stray tear from underneath her eye. “Only if you’re here, but yes.” A beautiful smile crossed his lips at her ragged exhale, his forehead brushing against hers. The smell of apple, cheese, and that little bit of sweetness was overwhelming, so much better than the expensive cologne she’d once inhaled. “I need to hear you say it, I’m not going to mark you if you’re gone.”

“I love you,” not at all the words she meant to say but looking at the deep green in front of her, she couldn’t say anything else. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know who was under the mask, or that someday she’d have to explain the mark to someone else. It most certainly did not matter that Lila had Adrien’s mark because, looking at the man in front of her she knew; it was Chat, it was always Chat.

And to him, it was always Marinette.

One bite, and that was all it ever would be.

There was nothing comparable to his responding smile, she was almost disappointed by how suddenly it was taken away when his lips brushed against hers, pressing a tender kiss to the corner of her mouth. Her eyes closed as he moved to her neck, exposing that juncture between throat and shoulder to her so easily. One inhale, the pressure rising in her chest and…

“I love you too, Marinette.”

The world flashed as teeth collided with flesh.

#adrienette #ladynoir #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #love square #ml fanfic #my fanfic #fanfiction #omegaverse #I GOT TOO EXCITED ANYWAY #QUEEN OF TRASH CAPESANDSHAPES #original content

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harrysweasleys · 4 years ago

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speechless // h.p

Summary: Can you do a Harry Potter x reader where reader is exactly like Richie Tozier and she defends him from Draco and his Slytherins? And Harry falls in love with her from then and everyone is teasing him?

Warnings: language ofc!!!

Word Count: 6k

A/N: ok first off I cannot express my love for Richie Tozier enough. he’s a precious baby and I love him. also I’m so close to my next hundred! thank you all! (gif isn’t mine) xxxx

—

“Oi, mum sent me a package!”

Ron peeled open the box in front of him, repeatedly hitting Hermione in the ribs as he ripped the paper off the box, his face lighting up like a child on Christmas morning.

“I hope it’s a wig,” you piped up, “Because something really has to change about your hair.”

Ron glared at you, tossing the wrapping paper to the floor and kicking it under the table, “Ha, hilarious.”

He continued to rip at the box, eventually managing to tear it open. His eyes widened, his smile falling shortly after.

“Oh, is it a picture of yourself?” you pursed your lips and nodded condescendingly, “That’s the only thing that could have made you look so depressed.”

Hermione and Harry burst out laughing, however Ron kept a solemn expression as he took out the contents of the box, which happened to be a very old pair of dress robes — the collar was off-white and frilly and the thick sleeves were clearly moth-eaten. You put a hand over your mouth to hide your laughter, not wanting to make Ron’s mood any more sour than it was at that moment.

“Mum sent me...a dress?” Ron’s voice was defeated as he stood up, holding the dress robes at their full length.

“Wow,” you struggled to hold your laughter back, “I didn’t think anything could get worse than your hair but that’s awful.”

“Is there a bonnet?” Harry joined in on the teasing and reached into the package, taking out what appeared to just be a frilly mess, “Aha!” You grinned at Harry’s pleaser reaction.

Ron scowled at the two of you, walking away from the table and approaching his younger sister, “Ginny, these must be for you.”

Hermione started giggling, catching Ron’s attention. He peered back at her, silently asking what her problem was.

“They’re not for Ginny, they’re for you, they’re dress robes.”

Ron’s face lost all colour, making the situation a million times more amusing for you. Harry continued teasing his friend, Ron becoming more agitated by the minute. You tuned out the conversation where Hermione explained to Ron that they were dress robes, and focused on the breakfast plate in front of you, loving how every now and then Harry would nudge you and make another joke.

Ron stuffed the robes back in the box, wanting to hide them from the eyes of fellow students. Most of the Gryffindor table had seen them by now, everyone had a good laugh, but the last thing Ron wanted was to catch anyone else’s attention.

So, naturally, that’s exactly what happened.

“Weasel, what was that?”

The four of you turned your attention towards Draco Malfoy, who sauntered over to your section of the Gryffindor table with his goonies by his side.

You immediately fought the urge to stand up and punch him in the face — a natural urge when around Malfoy.

“I guess considering how poor your family is, those awful dress robes are all you could afford,” Malfoy smirked at Ron’s flushed face, which was now facing the floor.

You stood up, “Oi, we didn’t ask for a conversation with an arrogant asshole today.”

Malfoy’s eyes shot daggers at you, Crabbe and Goyle flexing their ‘muscles’ as if trying to warn you, “How dare you—”

“—talk to me, yeah, I’ve heard the speech before,” you cut him off, crossing your arms across your chest, “Now, leave, thanks. Seeing your face made me lose my appetite.”

As if rendered speechless, Malfoy rolled his eyes and stormed off, followed by his two shadows. You smirked and sat back down, continuing to pick at your breakfast silently while Harry, Ron and Hermione smiled at you.

“What’re you all staring at?” you asked, not bothering to look up.

Ron shook his head, “I reckon I’ve never seen Malfoy speechless before.”

You shrugged nonchalantly, “It’s a gift, I leave people speechless.”

The three of them laughed, the conversation going back to normal as you finished off your breakfast, mentally preparing for another loooong day of classes.

— —

“There’s gonna be a ball?” you scoffed, turning to Hermione wide a bewildered expression, “We’re expected to dress up? Oh, the nightmare.”

She tried to stifle her smile so McGonagall wouldn’t call the two of you out, “It’s not horrible, is it? I think it’s about time we do something fancier here.” She glanced quickly over at Ron before turning her attention back to you. But, being as attentive as always, you caught her not-so-subtle glance.

You widened your eyes, faking a gasp, “You already know who you want to go with, don’t you?”

She shushed you quickly, trying to make sure no one heard your outburst. You could see the blush rise to her cheeks, already giving you the answer you needed. You knew damn well she had feelings for Ron, but she really did try her hardest to hide them.

“Y/N! Don’t just be blurting out stuff like that,” she forced a neutral expression, “And no. I don’t know who I want to go with. Nor does it matter.”

You nodded, not believing her, “Whatever answer floats your boat, I guess.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, “Well, who do you want to go with then?”

You turned away from her, eyes subconsciously darting towards Harry — who was so zoned out he didn’t even notice your glance — and turned back to Hermione, “No one. No one’s good enough, of course.”

She rolled her eyes, “I call your bluff.”

“Well call whatever bluff you want,” you shrugged, leaning back in your chair and turning away from her to face McGonagall, “Can’t fight the truth.”

She didn’t press the subject any further, but continued to peer at you through the corner of her eye, thankfully missing every time you looked over at Harry.

You couldn’t deny, Harry Potter was a catch. He was cute, fun to be around, and had recently fought off a dragon. I mean, the whole package, right? It wasn’t hard for you to develop a crush, the feelings came so naturally.

However, you were fairly certain the dark haired boy didn’t feel at all the same about you. He never showed interest, nor did he go out of his way to be with you. It stung a little when you’d catch him watching the perfect little Cho Chang make her way through the Great Hall, but you weren’t going to let it bring you down. He wasn’t yours, after all.

“Now, next time we meet I will be giving you dance lessons—”

You had finally tuned back in to what McGonagall was saying, trying your best to seem as if you hadn’t just floated off.

“—So, the rest of your class is a free period.”

You stood up hastily, grabbing Hermione’s wrist and walking over to where Harry and Ron were sitting, the two of them standing up and grumbling about dancing.

“Boy, oh, boy,” you let go of Hermione’s wrist and placed your hands on your waist, “A dance, huh? What’d ya think about that, Ronald? You gonna ask anyone?”

Ron’s face went blank and Hermione stomped discreetly on your foot, telling you that you had overstepped your boundaries. You hoped she’d forgive you for this.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Ron shrugged, looking between you and Hermione. You were destined to set those two up, nothing was going to stop you.

“You sure? C’mon, handsome lad like you’s gotta find a date. And you Hermione, you’re, ya know, smart and fun, don’t you want to bring a date as well?” you grinned, knowing damn well how uncomfortable you were making them. They both shifted awkwardly, stealing glances back and forth, none of them knowing what to say next. Ron’s feelings for Hermione were just as obvious, really.

“Well, I’ve made things weird, haven’t I?” you smirked, placing your arm around Harry’s neck. You ignored the way goosebumps formed at the contact, choosing to believe it was from how warm his skin was.

“Yes, you have, thanks,” Hermione spoke through gritted teeth, glaring daggers at you.

“Apologies,” you bowed slightly, “Let’s leave them be, Harry.”

Harry, laughing and sharing a confused expression with Ron, followed you out. You took your arm away from him, stealing a glance back to see that Ron and Hermione were still standing in awkward silence, and turned into the hallway.

“Nice work, maybe they’ll finally work up their courage,” Harry grinned at you, nodding approvingly at your set up, “You’re a natural matchmaker, Y/N.”

“See, they just needed a push, is all—oof,” you were cut off, bumping forcefully into a body of someone much larger than you. Your sight went dark, the only thing you knew was that the person tended immediately upon impact.

You pulled away, noticing the deathly glare Crabbe was now sending you.

“Oh, it’s just you,” you sighed in relief, “It went dark for a second, I thought I saw the end.”

Harry coughed to hide his laughter, pulling lightly on your sleeve to tell to you walk away. His tugging only became more aggressive once Malfoy stepped out from behind Crabbe, the same pissed off expression as always laced into his features.

“Leave us alone, Malfoy,” Harry glared at him, the tension between the two of them rising significantly in a short amount of time. He let go of your sleeve, standing up straighter and squaring his shoulders.

“It was unfortunate, you know, that the dragon didn’t kill you,” Malfoy said lowly, clearly loving the fact that his friends laughed at his comment. You, on the other hand, weren’t sure what they had found funny. Was it a joke? What had he said that was so funny?

Harry rolled his eyes, motioning his head for you to follow him, and so you did so without question.

“You know, I was mistaken,” Malfoy’s voice echoed down the corridor, making both of you turn around once more. You were feeling both bored and angry — it was quite a strange mix. You were used to Malfoy’s taunts, having sat by while all of your friends — you included — fell victim, but a part of you particularly hated the way he spoke to Harry.

“Oh, yeah? About what? Please, for Merlin’s sake, enlighten us,” you snapped back, “We’re just dying to know.”

Malfoy’s eyes scanned your face before approaching the the both of you one more. Harry’s shoulder was pressed up against yours and you could feel his ragged his breathing had become. Malfoy always found a way under his skin and it bothered you a great deal.

“About Potter, I actually hope you do make it to the end, it’ll make your death that much more bittersweet,” Malfoy sneered, “For those who care, that is.”

“Gee, I always believed we Gryffindors were petty but that’s a whole new low,” you smirked, taking a step forward after pushing Harry back, telling him to let you handle the situations, “You know, I’ve come to a conclusion about you, Malfoy. The reason you’ve never said anything logical in your life is because you waste your breath insulting the people that you think care about your opinion.”

“Excuse me?” you had never seen Malfoy looked more appalled than in that moment. It was rather amusing.

“Was my English not easy enough for you to understand? Point proven,” you sighed dramatically, turning away from him and nudging Harry in the shoulder, “Oh, one more thing, Malfoy.”

You turned back to face him, “suck my dick.”

And with that, you turned back and walked away with Harry by your side, neither of you wanting to turn and gauge what Malfoy’s reaction would be.

Once you two were around the corner, Harry turned to you with wide eyes and his mouth broken into a wide smile. If this was the reaction you’d get for shutting down Malfoy, you’d gladly do it any day.

“That was epic, Y/N!” his hands grabbed your shoulders, shaking you slightly, “I’ve never actually had anyone stand up for me like that before, what made you do it?”

“Oh — I dunno,” you shrugged, feeling quite proud of yourself, “I stick up for my friends, I guess.” Friends. How you wished Harry could be more than just your friend.

“You’re incredible,” he grinned, taking his hands off of your shoulders and shaking his head in disbelief, “You know, I think I found the perfect friend in you. I love Ron and all but that was something else...”

As he trailed off, you noticed the way his eyes darted between your lips and your eyes. Although that should make you weak in the knees, a part of you instinctively pulled away, flushing brightly at the encounter. You told yourself it was probably just the heat of the moment, the thrill of the comeback.

“Eh, no biggie,” you shrugged, “Asshole needs to be put in his place sometimes.”

You nodded awkwardly and began to continue in the path you were headed, until you noticed Harry was no longer by your side, still standing rooted where you two were not five seconds ago.

“Harry, you—,”

“I’m good, yeah,” he cut you off quietly, a light smile on his lips, “You’re the best.”

“I’ve been told,” you grinned, trying not to let his words get to you. He chuckled, walking forwards and standing next to you, eyes still staring into yours with intensity you didn’t think you could bear.

Awkwardly looking away, your cheeks heating up, you motioned your head down the hall, “We should get going before Hermione and Ron come after me like an angry mob.”

Harry nodded, eyes wide and turning away from you, shaking his head like he was clearing his thoughts, “Good point.”

And so the two of you walked off towards the common room, the silence tense and unsure, but not comfortable. Did Harry really mean what he said? Calling you ‘the best’ and all? It was flattering, especially coming from him, but did he mean it the way that you wanted to take it?

Fighting a mental battle, you stayed quiet until you reached the common room. You flopped down on the couch, nearly being hit by a firework that Fred and George were trying out in the corner of the room.

“How long do you think it’ll be before—,”

The portrait door swung open and a very flustered Ron and Hermione stumbled in, both looking tremendously irritated and uncomfortable.

Hermione stormed up to you, dragging you up by your collar, “You and I need to talk. Right now.”

Shocked by her outburst, you nodded, “If you wanted to get me alone you could have just asked—,” noticing her expression, she wasn’t in the joking mood, “Yikes, sorry, okay, let’s go upstairs.”

She continued to drag you up, the anger fueling her sudden burst of strength. You did feel kind of bad about leaving her and Ron, but it wasn’t like you openly said anything about her feelings towards him.

Upon reaching your dorm room and noticing it was empty, she shut the door and pointed a finger at you accusingly, “You. Why would you do that? That was humiliating!”

“Oh come on,” you sat on the edge of you bed and brought your legs up, sitting criss-crossed, “It couldn’t have been that bad. Did he ask you to the ball?”

“No!” she seethed, sitting down on hers as well, “All he said was that he indeed noticed I am a girl.”

Your eyebrows shot up, “Four years in and he finally notices? I knew he wasn’t the brightest lightbulb in the chandelier, but wow.”

As if she agreed with your comment, the anger seemed to disappear from her face. She rushed off her bed and sat next to you, shoving you over slightly so she had space on the tiny bed.

“I think he’s already got his eye on someone. It’s not fun.”

“Tell me about it,” you mumbled before you could stop yourself. Hermione’s eyes shot up, giving you a quizzing look as you clamped your hand over your mouth.

“Oh! You like someone!” she grinned, lifting her hand to poke you in the shoulder, “You know about my feelings, I need to know about yours.”

“I don’t have feelings,” you defended, fighting back a blush and taking your hand away from your mouth, “Don’t turn this on me.”

“It’s Harry, isn’t it?” she smirked. You scolded yourself for having been obvious. Of course, the ever-so intuitive Hermione would catch onto who your crush was. It was an embarrassing attempt to hide it on your part.

“Listen, Hermione,” you pointed a finger at her, “Tell anyone and during the next dinner, they’ll be serving your head on a silver platter.”

She giggled, ignoring your threat and crossing her fingers over your heart, “I won’t tell a soul.”

Squinting at her, you figured you’d be able to trust her. She had been your friend for years and kept all your previous secrets. She might be able to keep this one as well.

“Fine,” you gave in, throwing your head back in frustration, “You’re right. It’s Harry.”

She gave you a toothy grin, wiggling her eyebrows, “Now, I have to set you two up.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you shot back, pointing your finger and shaking your head, “You’re gonna take his deep-rooted love for Cho away and, well, that’s just plain rude.”

“Oh, shut up, he’s barely ever spoken to her. It’s just an appearance thing,” she waved her hand, brushing off your comment, “Besides, I heard Lavender Brown say that Cho and Cedric Diggory are hanging out.”

Not overly shocked by the information, you leaned back onto your pillows, “Good for her. Diggory is a right catch if I say so myself.”

Hermione smacked your knee, “Sit up! Listen to me, you don’t need to pout, let’s just go down there and I’ll work my magic.”

You glared at her, not utterly convinced she was able to do much, but you followed her back downstairs nonetheless, figuring it was worth a shot. The worst that could happen was that Harry would not feel the same, distance himself from you, then you’d lose Ron and Hermione as well because they were his friends first and then you’d be left alone to suffer in self despair while they galavanted in friendship—

“Hey, Harry!” Hermione greeted a little too cheerfully once you two entered the seating area of the common room. Already embarrassed by her attempt, you didn’t notice the way Ron and Harry immediately stopped talking upon your entrance, sharing a look that could only mean ‘don’t say anything.’

“Er — hi, Hermione,” Harry smiled awkwardly.

You sat down on the couch next to Ron, who was eyeing Hermione with awe. He was so smitten, it was a miracle no one else noticed the way he looked at her.

“Ron, you’re pathetic,” you leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Ask her. Don’t make me threaten you into doing it.”

Ron shot you a look, “Not bloody likely.”

You turned away, shrugging, and stared into the fireplace. Harry was seated on your other side, not saying much, but the way he kept looking over at you made you think that he did actually have something he wanted to say.

“Well, from what I’ve heard, Cho is going to go to the ball with Cedric,” Hermione said, pretending it was no biggie but checking over repeatedly to see Harry’s reaction.

Upon noticed he didn’t say anything, she leaned closer to him, “Did you hear me Harry? Cho’s taken.”

Harry looked at her, eyes darting back and forth between you, Ron and her, “Yeah, I heard you.”

“Guess that means you can ask someone else,” Hermione grinned, leaning back.

You scolded yourself for telling her. She was being ridiculously obvious and it pained you to see her efforts. Did she think this was going to anywhere?

“Er — I guess,” Harry shrugged, glancing over at you for a millisecond before turning back towards the fire, “I guess I’ll wait and see how things go.”

Your heart did a slight flip. He didn’t mention having any other girl in mind, maybe that meant he didn’t. Which still gave you a shot, technically. Even if he didn’t see you that way just yet, maybe you’d have to turn on the charm. Flirt, make him see that you were actually interested.

Granted, flirting was never really your area of expertise. You weren’t good at it, nor did you really have any experience. But maybe, just maybe, with Hermione’s strange help, you’d be able to find a way to get him to notice you.

Plan Flirt with Harry was now in action.

— —

Over the next two weeks, things had been going relatively well. Hermione had toned down her strategy and was making you seem like much more of a natural.

You and Harry had even shared a few lingering touches, whether they be your hands touching at the table during dinner, or his elbow touching yours when you were sat in the common room. Nothing overly intimate, but enough to send sparks flying through your body at the feeling.

You had also noticed the way Ron and Harry seemed to drop whatever conversation they were having when you entered the room. Sure, they could have been discussing Hermione and Ron’s feeble attempts at his own flirting, but the way Harry would glance at you during meals and classes sent your head spiralling with the idea that maybe, just maybe, they were talking about you.

You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but it was hard not to when the ball was getting closer by the day and neither you, nor Harry, had a date and he still hadn’t shown interest in anyone else.

“He asked me!” Hermione stumbled into the dorm room in excitement, causing you to jump out of your skin and nearly drop the book you were reading.

“Ron?” you grinned, sitting up, “Oh, that’s great, Hermione! I knew—,”

“Not Ron,” she rolled her eyes, flopping down on your bed, on top of your legs, “Viktor Krum.”

“Ohhhh,” your eyes widened, “You go, girl. Have you seen his jawline? I’d let him cut me with it, hot ass—”

Hermione laughed, pretending to shoot you a glare, “That’s my date you’re talking about.”

“Right, sorry,” you joined in on her laughter, closing your book and placing it on your night table, “But I really am happy for you.”

“Thanks,” her cheeks went pink as she turned to face you, “Can we go sit in the common room? It’s just Ron and Harry.”

“Yeah, sure,” you sighed, flicking the warm blanket off of you and following her downstairs. She was radiating joy, and even though it wasn’t Ron that had ended up asking her, you could tell she was really looking forward to this date.

“Just ask her,” you heard Ron snap quietly once you two started making your way down the stairs, “I see the way she looks at you.”

“I can’t!” Harry snapped back, trying to keep his voice down, “She can do better anyways.”

“Yeah, bloody right,” Ron scoffed, “You fought a dragon.”

“It’s not the same, Ron, I— shush, I hear footsteps.”

The two of you walked into the room, noticing once again how Harry and Ron dropped their conversation upon landing sight on you two. So, Harry already had plans on asking someone to go to the ball. It hurt, you weren’t going to deny it. Of course he had someone else. He was Harry Potter, for goodness sake. Charming, funny, loyal, and brave. All the qualities to make a girl swoon.

“What are you two ladies gossiping about?” you pretended to be fine as you sat down on the opposite couch, placing your hands in your lap and trying to steady your now irregular heartbeat. Jealousy was slowly coursing through your veins and you hated it.

“Nothing,” Harry shook his head, a fake look of innocence on his face. Ron nodded along, neither of them being very convincing.

“Oh, hey Y/N,” Ron smirked, wiggling his eyebrows and nudging Harry in the ribs. Harry, glaring at his friend, gave him a nudge right back. You chose to ignore the comment, focusing more on the look Hermione was giving you.

“Hi, Ron,” you replied back, not sure why he was grinning while glancing back and forth between you and Harry. He was always very strange.

Hermione sat down on the armrest of your chair, crossing her arms and nudging you in the side, telling you to start doing something.

“Harry, are you trying to figure out the second task?” you blurted out, not sure what you could have said that wouldn’t make the situation weird.

“Of course,” Harry’s cheeks flushed slightly, his eyes avoiding yours, “I think I’ve almost got it.”

You grinned, “Oh, that’s great. I knew you’d be able to figure it out.”

Hermione seemed more pleased by your comment, leaning back and letting the situation unfold.

“Harry’s real smart, you know,” Ron nudged Harry in the side again, a teasing expression on his face, “One of the smartest.”

“Thanks,” Harry glared at Ron, speaking with gritted teeth before turning back to you, his face softening, “I had help, though.”

“Modesty isn’t gonna make you win, y’know,” you smirked, admiring his honesty, “Take credit. Be proud of yourself.”

Harry’s cheeks were pink and he brushed the hair out of his forehead, “Thanks, Y/N.”

You could tell he was flustered, but you figured it was probably because of the compliments. Harry never really knew how to reply to them — you had noticed that over the years. For someone who was the bravest person you had ever met, he sure didn’t know how to deal with people.

“Oh, Ron, Ginny wanted to talk to us,” Hermione sat up quickly, clapping her hands together. Ron raised an eyebrow, questioning her silently, before standing up.

“She did?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“Yes! She did,” Hermione sent a discreet wink in your direction before turning to Harry, “We’ll be back shortly!”

“Well, Y/N, Harry, be safe you two,” Ron picked up on what Hermione was doing, smirking as he made his way to exit the room, “Have fun!”

Harry glanced at Ron, his eyes wide. The two boys shared a look before Hermione dragged the ginger boy out the portrait hole behind her.

“Head on a silver platter, Hermione!” you called after her, your heart beating violently, “Head on a silver platter!”

The portrait swung shut and the room went dead silent. The only thing you could hear was the thump of your heart and the sudden nervousness that spread throughout your body at being alone with Harry.

You wanted to seize the chance and make a move, but you had just heard him talk about asking a girl to the ball, so was it a good idea? Probably not.

But as you looked at him, watching the way the flames flickered across his face and the way his messy hair stuck out in different directions, it took everything you had in you to not rush over there and tell him everything.

“Can I tell you something? Don’t tell Ron and Hermione,” he piped up quietly, turning to face you, the blue of his eyes making you weak. You were thankful he spoke first, it prevented you from spilling your guts and making a fool out of yourself.

“Sure,” you replied, getting up and walking towards the couch he was sitting on, making yourself comfortable on the opposite end.

He sighed deeply, “I haven’t figured out the egg.”

“You haven’t?” you spoke, shock evident on your face. You felt bad for acting so surprised, but you couldn’t help it. He had seemed so confident when he told you he had.

He shook his head silently, shrugging, “I don’t know what to do with it.”

You blinked rapidly, turning over to face the golden egg that was sitting on the table, “Why didn’t you want to tell the others? Hermione could probably figure it out.”

He turned to you, face pale, “No, don’t tell them. I just thought I’d tell you, I don’t know, I trust you.”

You fought back a grin, hiding your smile behind your hair so you didn’t look like an idiot. He probably didn’t mean it as a compliment but you took it as such.

“Well, I’ll help you, then,” you nodded, holding out your pinky, “I know we’re not children, but I pinky promise.”

He grinned, linking your pinky with his. For someone who had been through so much, he really did have soft skin. It was annoying. Pleasant, but annoying.

“I’m glad I have you around, Y/N.”

His gaze was so intense and wholesome that you struggled to hold back.

“The sappiness is gross, but I’m glad to be around,” you beamed, pulling your pinky away and turning back to your corner of the couch, leaning your head back and enjoying the softness of the cushion, your mind going back to the conversation you had heard between him and Ron. Who was he planning on asking?

Now was your chance — now or never.

“So — uh — who are you asking to the ball?” you asked, so silently Harry had to lean closer to you to hear it.

He stammered, “Oh — er — I dunno, yet. There’s a girl I have in mind but I don’t think she sees me that way.”

Your heart sank, but you turned to face him with a neutral expression, “I call bullshit. Who wouldn��t want to go with you?”

He seemed to think over your words for a second, a glimpse of fondness on his features, but he turned away and shook his head, “She’s different.”

“How so?” you regretted it as soon as you asked, knowing Harry was about to gush about some girl when you wished more than anything it was you he’d be gushing about.

“She’s bold,” he said, a hint of a smile on his lips, “Not afraid to stick up for herself or the people she cares about. She’s smart, too, always has an answer for everything. A good friend — the best, really. And I know she’d be better off with someone who wasn’t me.”

You nodded, processing his words and trying to think of the girl he could be talking about. It completely crushed you, hearing him speak so highly of someone, but you knew that if anything, he’d be the one better off without you.

“Why’d you think that?” you began twiddling with your thumbs, avoiding his eyes, “Did she tell you or is it an assumption?”

“She didn’t tell me,” he quickly replied, shaking his head, “But she’s got such an incredible spirit, I’m worried I’d ruin it. You know, it’s funny. I always looked at her like she was just a friend, just someone that I’d got lucky to have around, but then one day, she did something, and it kind of clicked. After that, I couldn’t look at her the same. She was so much more beautiful, so much more radiant and lovely and I knew from then on that she was just... different to me. And I tried to tell myself she was never going to see me that way but the more I was around her, the harder it was.”

You bit your cheek, trying your best to hold back your oncoming emotions.

“Well, she’s lucky,” your voice was weak, shaky even, as you turned to face him.

His smile was clear as day and the love struck expression was still on his face as he turned to look at you, causing you to speak up one more, “What did she do that made you change your mind about her?”

The smile vanished from his face and the awkward expression returned. He raised his hand, rubbing the back of his neck and then through his hair, as if he wasn’t sure what to say next.

He dropped his hand and faced you, all traces of amusement gone from his face, “She stuck up for me.”

Your breath caught in your throat, his words echoing in your mind. You nearly missed his hand reaching across the couch and grabbing yours, linking his fingers and running his thumb across your skin.

Had he been talking about you? It would make sense, you had stuck up for him against Malfoy a few weeks back, but had it really impacted him to the point where he was falling for you?

You didn’t want to complain, but you couldn’t believe it. You thought back to what he said, about seeing you as a friend and then as something more, that you were different and beautiful, even. It was nearly impossible to believe him just off of his words, you had embarrassingly dreamt of him admitting his feelings and it felt too good to be true, but his gentle tough and soft gaze grounded you to reality. He was telling you the truth.

“I’m talking about you, if you hadn’t caught on,” he tried to smile but it came off as more of a grimace, his nerves evident in his shaking hand and pale complexion.

You still couldn’t forumulate the words to say. For years you had always been the one to make a comeback, leaving others speechless — but now, you were the one speechless.

“Me?” you stared at him with wide eyes, heart violently thumping against your rib cage, trying to burst out and reach his, “Me?”

He retracted his hand rather quickly, “Unless — you know, unless you don’t feel the same.”

“No, wait,” you reached across and grabbed his hand, finally finding the courage to flash him a smile, “I do actually. I do feel the same.”

Relief flooded over him, his face regaining colour and his shoulders slouching back, “Oh, thank Merlin.”

The joy that had spread through you was indescribable. You didn’t think there could be a better feeling. Your heart seemed to swell and the tingling sensation in your fingers was everlasting. It was like a high you didn’t want to come down from. God bless Hermione and her intuition of leaving you two alone.

Plan Flirt with Harry had been a success.

— —

Hermione and Ron had quickly been informed of the confession between you two, both of them saying they had called it years back. Which didn’t make sense considering you didn’t have feelings for each other years back, but you let them enjoy their moment.

You had helped Harry try and figure out his second task, as promised, spending many a nights up late in the common room and telling each other things you wouldn’t tell someone if you were ‘just friends.’ You were having the time of your life, really. He had grown comfortable being intimate — holding your hand on the way to class or pecking your cheek in the Great Hall. (Hermione and Ron teased you two to no ends about it.)

Eventually, Harry had asked you to be his date to the Yule Ball — which you responded with ‘well, duh.’ So, as the night of the dance came around — you were actually looking forward to it now — you had gotten ready with Hermione and strolled down to the Great Hall, ready to finally dance the night away with the boy you had fallen for.

Reaching the stairs, you noticed him and Ron standing at the bottom, both looking out of place. Ron — donning his ugly dress robes — had worked up the courage to ask one of the Patil twins. Which one, you didn’t remember. He had asked her out of desperation, it was rather sad.

“It’s embarrassing to be seen next to you, Ronald,” you tapped him on the shoulder once you arrived at the bottom. He spun around, his face laced with humiliation.

“They’re ancient,” he groaned, lifting his arms to show you the frills.

“Yeah, I’m gonna pretend I don’t know you,” you winked and ruffled his hair, turning to face Harry.

His eyes scanned you up and down in your dress, but you were too focused on how good he looked to feel at all self conscious. You had only ever really seen him in sweaters and his Gryffindor robes. This was a whole new level of glo-up.

“You look gorgeous,” he grinned, linking his hand with yours and pulling you closer to him, “I’m the luckiest guy here.”

You tossed your hair over your shoulder, grinning, “Well, what can I say? I’m a catch.”

“That you are,” he nodded, sticking out his arm for you to take, “We have first dance since I’m Champion.”

You nodded, linking your arm in his and standing by his side. You weren’t exactly a good dancer, but if you had Harry by your side you’d be too focused on him as opposed to the crowd around you.

“Shall we go in then, Champion?” you turned to face him, chin held high.

“We shall,” he replied in the same noble manner, chin up, and began leading you into the ball.

He was well worth the wait.

#harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter one shot #harry potter one shots #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfics #harry potter x reader #harry potter reader insert

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heretherebedork · 4 years ago

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So i saw this on a fb post and I'd like to hear ur thoughts on this:

The real reason why Pi cannot accept the fact that he already love Mork Sutthaya.

(Base on novel)

"He always think that 𝙎u𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is his love rival to Maung Nan, even he knows the truth that Satthaya and Nan are just friends —nothing more, nothing less."

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is more smarter than him."

"𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘆𝗮 and Maung Nan are very close friends, that whatever happens and problem of Nan, Satthaya always there for him."

"Whenever Maung Nan goes, Satthaya always followed Nan. They even hang-out together. And he couldn't have a change to see or talk to Nan without seeing 𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖."

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 always bugging him and annoying him. That's why Pi always irritated to Satthaya."

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is good at any sports while Pi, who doesn't have sports or can play any sports."

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is popular at there University, while Pi always think that he is a loser and no one wants to be friends with him."

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is more rich and better than him/𝙋𝙞."

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 always asking him to be his friend, even a billions times he rejected it."

"𝙋𝙞 cannot accept the fact that 𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 likes him, while he was liking Maung Nan."

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is too stubborn and asking him to something that he cannot give ( to be 𝙋𝙞'𝙨 boyfriend.)"

"𝙋𝙞 cannot accept the fact that he already falling inlove to Satthaya and Satthaya is the only person who makes his heart pound fast at every seconds."

"𝙋𝙞 always think that 𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is too perfect to love him, a person like him who have a lot of flaws and imperfection."

In short Pi is not in denial he focused his to love l Mueang Nan because he cannot accept that fact that he was already falling inlove with 𝗦utthaya because a man like Sutthaya who is perfect doesn't deserve a loser like him.

So... I totally believe that's from the book.

If they're trying to show that in the show, I think they're doing a very, very poor job of it, honestly.

The biggest problem is that they're not giving Mork enough of a character outside of his obsession with Pi.

But, let me go through this on a more... point by point basis.

Very little wrong with the first three points, honestly. They're shown in the shown and I fairly well shown too. Now, I don't think they prove anything about Pi being in love with Mork instead of Nan... but they do happen. I'm not sure that Pi genuinely knew that Mork wasn't his rival because, frankly, I think Pi's self-esteem is so low that being only friends didn't matter in terms of rivalry. Pi's so used to be on his own that even a friendship seemed like rivalry.

Actually, I am okay with this list riiiight up the point where they go

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 always asking him to be his friend, even a billions times he rejected it."

This is the first line I'd like to genuinely argue with. Yes, Mork started to ask Pi to be his friend... but only an entire year into this crush. And he's repeatedly gone from 'we'll be friends' to 'I know you'll love me' in a heartbeat. If there was any evidence or any mention of Mork trying to befriend Pi steadily across all that time, I'd agree with this.

And, no, the secret anonymous texting friendship absolutely doesn't count and it's all hugely manipulative. I actually thought it was kind of cute at first, I'll admit that. Mork was showing Pi what having a friend could mean and was supporting him... but now all he's doing is trying to convince Pi to go for him instead of Nan. It's gone from a sweet way to support someone that otherwise doesn't like you to a cruel way to manipulate the trust of someone you supposedly love. Not a fan.

"𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is too stubborn and asking him to something that he cannot give ( to be 𝙋𝙞'𝙨 boyfriend.)"

I wish he was just asking. My biggest problem with this is that Mork isn't asking. Mork is stating, Mork is repeatedly shoving this in Pi's face with as much force as possible, ignoring all of Pi's rejections and disagreements.

Look, it's one thing to make sure he knows you're not love rivals and to let him know that you want to court him.

It's another thing entire to keep doing that after he's said no to you directly and repeatedly.

"𝙋𝙞 always think that 𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙖 is too perfect to love him, a person like him who have a lot of flaws and imperfection."

I... cannot get behind the idea that Pi sees Mork as perfect, tbh. Though he definitely sees him as cool and popular, he also sees him as obnoxious and pushy and incapable of listening... all of which are true.

Now, some of that annoyance might come from the idea that Mork is constantly pushing his perfection. But I think most of it comes from the fact that Mork won't give Pi any space to breath or any space to think at all.

The first time that Pi entertains the idea that he could be interested in Mork is when Mork backed the fuck off and was more his friend than his 'constantly pressuring love interest'.

I'm going to be clear that I am not saying that Pi isn't in love with Mork. He is, it's obviously the narrative of the show.

What I'm saying is that his love would be a lot easier if people would try respecting his emotional autonomy rather than pushing him to admit feelings he's not sure about yet. He wouldn't be as stubborn or as insecure if people would just actually try supporting him!

If Mork had acted the way he did in the beginning of episode 7 the rest of the time, the flirting but mostly building up a base of friendship, I would be much more down. But it's just... it's not that. It's constant pressure and it's constant ignoring his protests and it's constant next step next step next step.

Mork never lets Pi sit for a moment and just... be friends. Just spend time together. The most they've been friends for is a day. Imagine the level of pressure that Pi feels whenever Mork starts shoving his feelings at him again and again. Especially for someone who has trust issues to begin with!

The last time Pi had friends, they were lying to his face and laughing at him behind his back. What has Mork done to show that he's any better? Every time Pi starts to think they might be friends, Mork goes straight past all his boundaries and shoves himself in.

I just... look. I will watch this show. I will keep hoping it gets better.

But to get better, Mork needs some actual character that isn't just him liking Pi for unknown reasons that he won't tell Pi about because... actually, hey, anyone got any explanation for that? He made Pi trying to explain his crush on Mueng Nan. So why doesn't Mork explain his crush on Pi? Answers in replies or reblogs or DM or... whatever, yo. I'd like to know.

#futs #fish upon the sky #anon asks #futs meta #this is like meta meta okay #look i trust that the book is probably better #maybe i'll read it sometime #but the show is doing such a bad job of this for me

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yourstrulytrinaextras · 3 years ago

Text

Third Time’s The Charm: Best Man and Maid of Honor

“And when will it be your turn Zoey?” a few of Avery’s aunts teased the bride’s blonde best friend. Like always, Zoey took it in stride and flashed them a polite smile.

It was exhausting.

“When I meet the right person,” she replied easily, “I’m still waiting for the Leon to my Avery.”

A round of laughter erupted the small circle and Zoey held back from releasing a sigh, hiding her disdain behind her champagne glass as she took a sip. Don’t get her wrong, she was beyond happy for Avery and every moment watching her best friend fall in love with Leon had been nothing short of a great memory.

But she was admittedly jealous. No, not because she wanted Leon, but because she also wanted to fall in love and have that special person by her side. Her love life, in the simplest of terms, had been absolute shit.

Men would always approach her and she hated those leering looks. The one guy she genuinely liked, Christian, turned out to be an asshole. It was a miracle that she managed to salvage her friendship with Lauren, although it became a little awkward between them.

Should’ve listened to Avery when she said that he wasn’t good for me.

Right, her best friend was the one more experienced with love between them. She was one of those girls that constantly had boys chasing her, but she was oblivious to them most of the time.

Mostly because she had tunnel vision for the guy she liked.

She was loyal to Leon, even when they were apart for college. Zoey had lost count how many times she complained that some guy was hitting on her even after she told them that she had a boyfriend. Other times, she was oblivious that someone was already making moves on her. Her popularity surged a number of arguments between Leon and her.

Because even though Leon was handsome and had a lot going for him, he used his cold personality to shake off anyone who might be interested.

But Avery wasn’t like that.

She was warm, kind, and very welcoming. If you add that to her beauty, it would be understandable that it was easy to fall for her.

Perfect Avery.

And Zoey was so proud that her best friend was so admired, even if she felt left out at times.

Although she would have loved it if her aunts didn’t bombard her about the fact that she was single. With another internal sigh, Zoey hatched her escape plan, “I think the alcohol is getting to me. Mind if I step out a bit for some fresh air?”

Nobody opposed and she swiftly made her way out towards the back garden as elegantly as she possibly could. She had been busy during the weeks leading up to the wedding as the maid of honor, she would now use the remaining time of the rehearsal dinner to relax.

Once the outside air reached her skin, she finally felt like she could breathe. They’ve decided on a venue away from the main city and it was nothing short of gorgeous. Leon’s parents didn’t spare any expense for their only son and future daughter-in-law’s wedding.

Avy really did choose the best one.

Leon had many admirable traits, but the thing that she liked the most about him was how he treated her best friend. Sure, there were arguments here and there but that was normal for any couple. At the very end of the day, he was always attentive and loving. He made sure that Avery knew that he was hers.

Just as she repeatedly assured him that she was his.

“Zoey?” she heard someone call her name and she internally cursed. It was either one of the older relatives who would badger her on her relationship status or it was one of the men daring enough to hit on her.

But when she whipped around, she was instantly relieved at the man standing in front of her.

“Patrick,” she let out a smile, glad that it was someone she knew, “Are you also here to escape?”

Patrick Vincent was the groom’s best man. If she was being honest, a bulk of what she knew about him was from the past months they’ve been talking in order to help their best friends plan the wedding. Since he was the best man and she was the maid of honor, they spent ample of time together.

Whether it was accompanying Leon and Avery with choosing their reception menu or diligently sending off the invitations, they were together.

“If I get asked one more time when it’s my turn to get married, I might explode,” he chuckled, nervously eyeing the door as if another relative would jump out and ask him again.

“Seems like we’re in the same position,” Zoey laughed, “So shall we make a run for it?”

“What?”

She pointed beyond the parts of the garden that was visible, “There’s an area where garden chairs and tables are set up, I saw them when I was wandering around during daytime. Nobody will bother us if we’re there.”

A grin immediately found its way onto his face, “Lead the way!”

She walked ahead with him a few steps back, watching as her blonde hair swayed and the skirt of her dress moved with every step.

Beautiful.

He was admittedly attracted to her from the first time he saw her – that moment in the café. Avery, who had just rejected him, was sitting there on a table with a friend that had her back turned to him and Leon. Patrick saw the small pink hue tinting Leon’s cheeks as he looked at their brunette classmate.

Patrick figured it out before that Leon liked her and in fact, he felt guilty that he was openly displaying his affections in front of him. But when he realized it, and also that Avery might have felt the same way, the rejection became easier to accept.

Because at the end of the day, both Avery and Leon were his friends. Even though he was crossed out of the picture, he learned how to be happy for them.

He knew that Leon was too bashful to call her attention, so he took it upon himself to do it, “Avery?”

Just to save his best friend the embarrassment, he chose to ignore the small smile that appeared on Leon’s face when Avery acknowledged them and subtly gestured for them to go to their table.

“Hey fancy seeing you here,” Patrick greeted in an attempt to be casual.

“Pat, this is Zoey,” Avery said, gesturing to her friend, “Zoey, this is Pat.”

And that was the first ever time that Patrick laid his eyes on the woman who would soon turn to be his longest standing crush.

He was, to cut it short, smitten by her at first sight.

She captured him, she had his every single ounce of attention. At that very moment, the bustling café turned quiet and everything ceased to exist. All he could see was her – the way her lips curved up into a smile, the way her delicate fingers released the fork she was holding, the way her blue eyes became more prominent under the café’s lighting.

She was beautiful and that was the moment he knew that he was fucked.

“See?”

His dwelling on the past was cut short when he realized that they finally stopped. Zoey was gesturing grandly to the small chairs and tables, waiting for his reaction.

He plastered a smile and pulled out one of the chairs, bowing his head playfully, “Have a seat, milady.”

Her tinkering laughter entered his ears as she lowered to the seat, causing him to blush. He was glad that it was still rather dark even with the few garden lights so it wasn’t obvious.

Zoey finally released a sigh after masking her exasperation since the day started. Dealing with nosey people left and right was exhausting, she was glad that she could at least be herself even for a few moments.

Because Patrick was someone she grew to be comfortable with.

And a small fact that she desperately hid from Avery – she had a crush on him.

She didn’t know when it started but she found herself staring at him when she thought that no one was looking, she got all giddy if she heard from Avery that he would be accompanying them, she looked forward to the small moments that they were alone.

She started looking forward to seeing him.

He was a very sweet guy and treated everyone around him well. Leon was never short of praises for him and even Avery shared the same sentiment. She always said that she loved Patrick, as a friend of course, and always went on of how good of a person he was.

And he treated Zoey with nothing but respect, he never tried to test his boundaries.

Zoey, no matter how dense she was when it came to dealing with the opposite sex, figured out long ago that he liked her. He was so obvious with the way he constantly blushed and stuttered whenever they were talking. However, she was still stuck on her crush on Christian back then so she chose to pretend that she didn’t know.

Then years passed by and their interactions were limited to when Avery and Leon were there.

But when they started becoming close because of all the wedding prep, it was her turn to become a mess in front of him. It was a good thing she knew how to handle her emotions well so she was always composed around him, but if he only knew what was going on inside her head whenever she was in his presence.

She wanted to be with him.

And she prayed with all her might that he would ask her out. She wasn’t sure anymore what he felt – mostly because Patrick also learned how to control his emotions so now he was composed in front of her.

But the wedding was tomorrow and after that, they would no longer have any reason to be alone together.

As much as she wanted to be with him, she was afraid to make the first move. She was highly inexperienced with relationships and again, she was unsure how he felt towards her.

Was she simply his best friend’s wife’s best friend?

“I can’t believe they’re getting married tomorrow,” Patrick said, tilting his head back to look at the sky, “Seems like yesterday when Leon was throwing a hissy fit because Avery called him a pet name.”

“Wait, that happened?” she gasped. If Avery didn’t tell her that then it meant that it was a minute detail, so insignificant that it probably didn’t matter much.

But she was still excited to learn a new piece of information. She admitted that she was slightly upset that there were things she wasn’t aware of that others were, but it was understandable since they did go to different high schools.

“Yeah, it was the first time Avery called Leon angel,” he laughed lightly at the memory, “He was against it, but he was already weak to Avery’s whims even before they got together so he just allowed her.”

“It would have been so fun to watch them get together,” she hummed wistfully, causing Patrick to look at her. She had this small sad smile on her face, her eyes pointed towards his direction but her gaze went past him, “I’ve known Avery the longest but since we went to different schools, it felt like we both missed out on huge chunks of each other’s lives.”

She was also jealous of how easy it was for Avery to get along with people. She was definitely the more sociable one of the two and making friends was like breathing air for her. Zoey, even though she acted forward at times, was still rather shy compared to her. And even if she gained a friend, she would have a tough time deepening their friendship to the point that they would hang out beyond school days.

Lauren was the exception and she was so happy that she met her, but because of her fleeting relationship with her brother, that turned into dust.

“You know, Leon once told me that he thought he was the second fiddle,” Patrick spoke with a small hint of amusement, trying to get her attention away from her musings, “Because Avery always ran to you first before him. Whether it was good news or bad, you are the first person she would call.”

Funny, Avy said the same thing about Patrick and Leon’s friendship.

“Don’t stress yourself out too much that you never witnessed those moments, because you know more about Avery than anyone else,” he assured with a smile, “Even after your speech earlier, she called you her sister in front of all the guests. She loves you a lot.”

She knew already of everything he told her because she always felt so secure of her friendship with Avery. But to still hear it out loud brought a sense of warmth to her and it enveloped her being, stripping her away from her brief moment of sadness.

Oh no, I really do like him.

As if her first realization of her feelings weren’t enough, now she just had to remind herself all over again. Now it was her turn to blush and she internally cursed – it was his fault for being so kind and charming.

But Patrick, who had his gaze fixated on her face watched as her eyes widened and the skin on her cheeks to the tip of ears turned pink. He was sure that it wasn’t the make-up she was wearing.

It was his turn to be flustered.

No matter how much he liked her, he didn’t dare to get his hopes up. This was Zoey he was talking about, she was practically perfect in every way. No matter how confident he was in flirting with other girls, he was never sure with her.

No, she just might be touched because of what I said about Avery.

So he took a deep breath, willing his nerves to calm down before pushing himself up to his feet, “I think we should go back now. The maid of honor and best man shouldn’t be away too long.”

Right now, she really did hope that she had Avery’s bravery when it came to the guy she liked.

She remembered that Avery was the first one to approach Leon when she asked for his number. Zoey was envious how forward she could be.

“Just one time,” she whispered to herself, “You can do it just one time.”

Her hushed voice still caught his ears, causing him turn back to her, “What did you say?”

Her hands balled up her skirt momentarily, trying to pull out any guts she had in her, before standing up with this look of pure determination. She stared at him in the eyes, her face probably beet red at this point, “Please go out with me.”

And that one sentence somehow exhausted her because she collapsed back onto her seat, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She had eyes trained on the hands on her lap because she felt like if she looked at him, she would faint.

He was silent.

Is this the part where I wave it off as a joke?

But then she heard movements and suddenly, she saw his feet right in front of her. She gathered whatever bravery she had left and lifted her gaze to meet his.

Shock, confusion, and pure unadulterated happiness.

“Don’t say it’s a joke,” he muttered, his knees bending so he could bring their faces closer, “Please, for the love of all things good in the world, don’t say it’s a joke.”

Zoey was mesmerized to see him this close and even if she was still a ball of anxiety, she didn’t move away. Instead, she dared to lift a hand and softly grazed his cheek, “I’m not joking.”

Without a moment too soon, he gently brushed his lips against her, testing the waters. She was taken aback at first, but she ached for more of that tingling sensation.

So she wounded her arms around his neck to pull him down to her and captured his lips. For him, it felt like years of tension melted away with the kiss and a wave of relief hit him. The girl he admired since high school liked him.

And for her, it was hope. She felt it in her that he was the one who would treat her well, that he wouldn’t hurt her. All those years of staying single, of those laps of heartbreak, were just a build up to this very moment.

He placed his hands on her waist and tugged her up to a standing position so it would be less comfortable for him. They briefly pulled away and when they caught each other’s eyes, they exchanged a small laugh before resuming their kiss.

Everything felt so right, like even the universe was waiting for this very moment.

Unknown to them, there was another pair hidden behind the tall hedges nearby, grinning ear to ear at them.

Avery and Leon started to get concerned when neither the best man nor the maid of honor was anywhere to be seen inside the venue. So they went around to look, holding back their gasps when they saw the two in a lip lock.

“Finally,” they whispered at the same time, causing them to rip their gaze away from the newly formed couple in order to look at each other. They laughed quietly at this as they slowly stepped away.

They were truly soulmates.

“Come on, we have to walk the aisle tomorrow,” Avery grinned, taking his hand and leading him back into the building, “My dear husband.”

“Yes, my dear wife,” Leon chuckled as a response, falling into step next to her.

Side by side, as the universe meant it to be.

#tltc

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 4 years ago

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1/2 🐻 A girl I liked 5+ years ago won't stop harassing me. The only reasons I stopped liking her was: she lived across the country& I was in a relationship &she'd disrespect me. She'd never respect my boundaries. We'd talk about it constantly. She'd apologize then repeat. Recently we tried being friends. But she'll get high or drunk & then send me nudes or sext me. When I say stop or I'm not into that she'll call me names & call my phone nonstop. We are both adults. She's 21 & I'm 25. She's ju

2/2🐻 just scaring me. During lockdown we'd talk often& things were going well. But then she found out I was seeing someone. ( I didn't tell her Bc no one knows) I think she stalked my private blog. But she started trying to make moves on me again. I always thought we'd be good best friends but she can't stop living in the past when we both were younger& liked each other. I've brought up how I feel & she ignores it. Anything I can do?

You are absolutely right calling this harassment because that’s what it is. Sending unsolicted nudes is sexual harassment! And depending on the law in your country you might even be able to notify the police and she might get charged for harassment. Obviously that could turn it into a very big deal and you may or may not want to go down that road.

Other than that I would suggest blocking her on all social media, blocking her number from your phone and just ending the friendship entirely. There’s a certain point up to which I’d say “maybe this person deserves another chance” but you already told her before that she is disrespecting your boundaries and there is really no excuse for that kind of behaviour. She’s sexually harassing you. Full stop. It doesn’t matter that she had/has a crush on you or that she’s intoxicated when doing it. Sending unsolicited nudes is never really about trying to “seduce” the other person. It’s a power move. There’s no difference between what she is doing and some fuckboy sending dickpics.

So if I were you, I would tell her one final time that her behaviour is unacceptable, that you hope she can get over herself, seek professional help for her substance abuse and her abusive behaviour and become a better person; but with you she’s fucked it up and there’s no coming back from what she’s done. She’s sexually harassed you repeatedly and shown some other inappropriate behaviour (i.e. cyber stalking, ignoring boundaries) and you do not want to be friends with someone like that so you will cut her out of your life. And then, as mentioned above: block her on every medium that you can block her. And if she still doesn’t get it then consider legal steps.

Maddie

#Anonymous

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justsomefluff · 5 years ago

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Heyooooo I stumbled across your blog and IM IN LOVE HOLY CRAP 🥺💕 I was wondering if I could request an ateez reaction to reader confessing/them finding out that a diff member was readers bias before they started dating? 👀

A/N: Thank you so much! And so I kind of tried to twist this request so I could get both ideas in there. I hope you like it! Sorry it took me forever lmao

Summary: You confess to Ateez and they are surprised (but relieved) because they had thought another member was your bias.

Hongjoong:

Joongiieeeeeeeeeee

Sweetheart

SO nervous to tell you he likes you

He sits you down in an empty room so the guys won’t interrupt

His hands are shaking

As soon as you sit down he’s rambling

stuttering a lot

trying his best to keep his cool but failing miserably

now you’re nervous bc you don’t know why he wanted to talk in the first place

you’re brain is like “he’s gonna tell you he doesn’t want to be your friend” or summ

so all of a sudden you’re just like “JOONGIE I LIKE YOU”

and he shuts right up

he :o

You’re so worried that you just messed up your entire friendship but you really wanted him to cut to the chase and it just popped out

Then he starts smiling

kinda creepy bc he still hasn’t said anything

when he finally snaps out of it he’s yelling

OMG OMG OMG ME TOOOOOO

and he’s squishing your cheeks and giving you Eskimo kisses aw

but then he stops and you’re blushing like crazy

and he blurts “thought you liked Mingi but ill TAKE IT”

“Well I do but like….not like that…”

He’s smiling and asking you so many questions bc he wants to know your comfort level and boundaries and everything before you guys even make it official

just a happy baby and is so excited to be with you

Seonghwa:

Honestly with him, it’s an accident

one day you’re hanging out like normal

but you cannot stop staring (but I cant blame you)

He catches you and he blushhhhh

You smile, but he’s so dreamy you’re kind of out of it honestly

And it just comes out

“I like you, Seongie”

Whoops

Takes you a minute to register what you even said, but his eyes are huge

he’s like excusez-mhwa (lol see what I did) I thought you liked Wooyoung

And you get this weird burst of confidence, like since it’s already out there

and you repeat yourself

“I literally just said I liked you”

Then he smiles super big

moves towards you super quick

Kisses you straight out the gate no question

When he finally pulls away you’re like

“Does that mean you like me too?”

“yes”

“good”

and he makes quick work of telling everybody bc he’s so thrilled

Yunho:

(Can you tell im loving the ears?)

Teddy bear baby

You’re doing some platonic cuddling one day and watching a movie

Probably a scary movie

And every once in a while you hide your face in his chest bc it’s too scary

and he’s so endeared

you’re like I need someone to protect me (but he misses that very obvious flirtation)

“Lemme get jongho”

DUMBASS

and you straight up tell him no

“Why not I thought you like him”

“Want you to protect me”

Yunho just blank-face stares at you

totally not getting it

Would never imagine you could like him over jongho

poor baby doesn’t know his worth

So you just tell him like, homie, I like you come cuddle

He smiles so big “OOOhhhhhh”

Jumps back into cuddles without argument

mumbling into your hair about how much he likes you too and how long he’s been waiting to tell you and thank god you don’t like jongho and AHHHH

“shut up im still tryna watch the movie”

straight up turns the TV off

cheeseball force-cuddles you for the rest of your life while simultaneously texting the group chat like “guess who just confessed!!!!”

the guys text back like “ey you finally did it?”

“me? no y/n”

Yeosang:

the day you resolve to tell him you like him ends up being a day where he’s super tired

so when you tell him you like him he cant even register what just happened

“what” x60

and then he figures it out and he’s like “oh ditto just thought you were crushing on Hongjoong)”

DITTO?! you totally ignore the hongjoong comment bc…. YOUR CRUSH LIKES YOU BACK

you’re excited now and he’s trying so hard to match your energy but poor baby just cant right now

“since you’re my girlfriend now can we cuddle”

Duh, who would say no to that?

And then you’re cuddling and he’s half asleep on you and you’re so excited and fidgety

He keeps waking up to pinch you so you’ll stay still

like “SORRY IM SO FULL OF LOVE”

and he’s giggling

He is genuinely happy but he’s so sleepy

so he just squeezes you too him as hard as he can being that tired

and you eventually calm down enough to stay still

and he’s like thank god

“if you’re like this every time im trying to sleep im breaking up with you”

“ALREADY?!”

San:

Since he’s typically super high energy and hyper its really hard for you to get him to chill out long enough to confess

but when he sees that you’re really nervous he gets super worried about you bc he cute like that

and he’s fussing over you

feeling your forehead and holding your hands and offering to get you water and making you sit down

“SAN CHILL IM JUST NERVOUS BC I LIKE YOU”

big ol’ gasp

“but what about Yunho”

Boy what are you talking about

“you like him”

No, you

Really?

SAN DO YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME OR NOT

“oh for sure”

Big cheesin’

Kisses all over your face and then runs to find the guys

screaming the whole time

Mingi:

The day you tell him you’re just hanging out with the members

and you’re all watching different music videos for fun and just being excited about the stuff you love together

and one of their videos pops up in the queue and you’re LIKE SEONGHWAAAAAAAAAAA (just bc he’s your buddy and you wanna hype him”

Mingi is pouting already

obviously he loves his hyung but like hey

Mingi’s bitter “what does he have that I don’t…I have stuff he doesn’t: im taller….”

And obviously you hear his mumbling

and you just give him kissy on his cheek

He’s so surprised

then he shows up in the music video and you flip out even more just to prove you like him

and he gets the message and does that laugh

WAHAHAHA

ya know the one

and he grabs you and your back is pressed to his chest and he’s kissing the top of your head repeatedly

the guys finally yell at you to stop or leave like aint nobody tryna see that

so you guys take their advice and scoot for Date #1

Wooyoung:

you didn’t actually tell wooyoung that you liked him

you were telling your friend over the phone and he overheard you

nosy fool

but as soon as he hears you gushing he stops to listen

fully thinking that you’re talking about San

but then he hears his name and he screams “ME?!”

and runs to scoop you up and spins you so fast you drop your phone

then he picks it up and tells your friend byebye

gives you smooches all over your face not realizing that you’re literally dying of embarrassment

he literally just heard you whining about how bad you wanna kiss him and being super mushy and gross

Wooyoung does not care, he’s just relieved that you like him too

“we’re dating now”

kisses you on the lips for a little then he’s like “CAN I TELL EVERYONE”

and you still haven’t said anything bc you’re so shocked and embarrassed

but he doesn’t wait for you to answer he just runs out while you stand there with wide eyes and swollen lips

Jongho:

Jongho is really shy around you already

And he thinks that you like Yeosang so he is always careful

doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable and he’s so respectful always

so when you sit super close to him one day he’s so stiff

and doesn’t want to move away bc he likes you and also doesn’t want you to be offended

but also doesnt want to do anything wrong

You sigh and you look at him

he melts

“Jonho can I tell you something”

uhoh

immediately assumes he did something wrong and tries to scoot away

but you grab his hand and he stays

“I like you”

He exhales so loud, he was holding his breath and he didn’t even know

he smiles and tells you he likes you too

but since there’s other people in the room he refuses to do anything

like he’s a romantic and he wants your first moments as an official couple to be only yours

so he takes you to another room and kisses you super soft

just so loving as soon as you tell him

cant wait to spend time with you as more than just friends

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez fluff #fluff #jongho #hongjoong #mingi #seonghwa #yeosang #wooyoung #yunho #fanfiction

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linettiewizowski · 5 years ago

Text

So I saw this one post from someone on their opinion of the love square. And I really wanted to point out a few things but their replies are turned off.... So I'm answering it here anyways.

(This rant is very long, not kidding, if ya feel like reading what's basically a big ass PowerPoint then go right ahead)

- Being a child does NOT give you a pass to stalk, be possessive over, steal from, invade the boundaries, invade the personal space, of someone you have a crush on.

That is wrong. Children should not be allowed to carry on such innapropriate, behavior. No one should.

- Children need guidance and protection. They cannot always learn or handle things on their own....that should be obvious with Marinette and especially Adrien.

Plus-

°I don't think Tom & Sabine ever expected Marinette to be a stalker....so they would never think to teach her otherwise.

- Yes I know she does realize what she's doing is wrong.....but then she just continues anyways. (Or maybe it only seems like she didn't stop because the episodes are out of order? But even then she STILL acts like this in newer episodes so I'm still sticking to what I said.)

°Adrien.......needs to be taken away to a safe & stable household. (Please let Emelie awaken soon, maybe she'll set things straight. Gabriel deserves a divorce & prison.) Even so, Gabriel does recognize such unhealthy behavior. Gabriel also would not at all expect his son to behave so innapropriately. I am purdy sure he thinks Adrien is "perfect." He even calls Adrien "perfection" in one episode. - It would not even cross his mind to teach his son proper etiquette concerning a crush.

>Ahem, Adrien's possessive, territorial, pushy, somewhat obsessive, Jealous, sometimes moody behavior concerning his feelings for Ladybug.

Constantly hitting on her, flirting with her, getting up in her space, when she has repeatedly showed him that she is NOT interested in him. Even when she revealed she had feelings for another boy he kept pushing.

- The episode where he thought he had right to be angry when she "stood him up" when - The way "Chat" said it & the way "Lady" reacted? Lady only saw it as a dinner between friends.....He then went on to set up an obviously romantic candlelight dinner.

- Once again, Ladybug has made it specifically clear, she is not interested.

Lady did not even fully agree to said dinner. She said she had plans.

Adri-Chat asked "If they end early, come join me?" Lady said "We'll see."

- That is not a yes, that is a maybe. He didn't even take HER plans into account, didn't even think "Well maybe her plans didn't end early." He just gets mad. And Lady should not have been made to feel guilty just because Adri-Chat cannot seem to take/understand a no & a maybe.

- Adri-Chat getting jealous when that one artist expressed his crush on Ladybug and going on to cross Lady's boundaries by lying about the reality of his & Lady's relationship.

(Yes I know, that dude was an adult and Lady-Mar actually a teen. But at that point in the show I'm pretty sure no one could guess the age of Lady & Chat (strangely) and like Spooderman no one thought them to be actual children.) Adri-Chat did that without thinking or even asking for Lady's input. Not cool at all.

- Acting all happy, triumphant when they regained their memories in Oblivio and Alya caught a pic of their amnesiac selves kissing.

What Adri-Chat says: "We're meant for eachother Milady, you're the only one who doesn't see it." (Okay sigh, this boy.)

1. That is a totally uncalled for, arrogant and presumptuous thing to say to Ladybug.

2. (Entirerly From Adri-Chat's perspective) Oblivio erases memories right? So Adri-Chat doesn't even consider the erasion of Lady's supposed crush on this other boy. Leading her to fall her HIM yes, but that's not the point.

Neither of them were in their right minds, as they had no memories. From HIS perspective Lady did not remember her crush on this other boy, if she did, she would not have fallen for Chat at the time of the memory erasion.

Adri-Chat does not at all think about that, all the while STILL ignoring her feelings for the other boy. Nope, he thinks this is some kind of encouragement to keep harassing her because "Maybe she'll choose me one day?" A.K.A. "Maybe she'll come around one day?" - (contemplating calling it sexual harassment because the characters of course do not get sexual, it being a kid's show) But his intent is to get her to date him....Hm. It is still harassment though.

>Ahem,hem. Marinette's obsessive, compulsive, possessive, territorial, jealous, fanatical, controlling, a LOT of times single minded, stalker behavior concerning her feelings for Adrien.

°Same drill - Not dating (Even if they were, still wrong just adding in)

°Adrien has not at all made his feelings clear on anyone (from Mari's perspective)

°Has not shown romantic interest in her.

°Adrien is not aware of her behavior at all. Not even when he spots all of the pictures of him in her room does he get it. (Being too naive is a very bad thing Adrien.)

°Marinette sometimes acts as if Adrien belongs to HER and no one else can have him. She goes to great, ridiculous and sometimes extreme heights just to keep girls she sees as rivals away from him.

She goes overboard, embarrasses herself, acts immature & compulsive. Sometimes she gets mean.

°Chloe & Lila being horrible is no excuse for her to treat Adrien like a possession, and also like he isn't an intelligent person who cannot notice obvious/strange things or protect himself.

(The plot is confusing yes, Adrien not noticing Mari is Ladybug, giving Chloe multiple chances/still being her friend, Being sympathetic to Lila.

While ALSO in some cases being close to connecting the dots to Mari being Lady, Condemning Chloe's outrageous behavior even in one instance totally putting his foot down, and being one of the only people to see through Lila's lies and side with/protect Marinette....though not exactly how he should.) Chalk it up to not that great writing = serious plotholes.

Anyways

°Adrien can kiss, hang out with, travel with, talk to and date whoever he wants. Mari has NO right to manipulate situations where he can't do that. I.E Controlling behavior.

°Now, Kagami is not a bad person. (More than Half the fandom's treatment of her is very disappointing.) Yes I know, she can be harsh, standoffish and cold sometimes. But-

°She does not intend to be mean, she does not, nor does she want to bully anyone. She does not bully Marinette. She just wants Marinette to stop being indecisive and flighty because Kagami ALSO likes Adrien (and by the way she was raised) does not think people should be so indecisive & hesitant or they'll miss important chances for them to take in life.

°Kagami does not think Mari is right for Adrien no, but as soon as she thinks Adrien is interested in Mari? She immediately backs off & respects his wishes. She only engages again when Adrien shows interest in her again.

°Then later on in the show she even attempts to make friends with Mari genuinely because she wants to make friends.....(and Mari doesn't understand because of Kagami's awkwardness but is also simultaneously clouded by her feelings for Adrien.) Kagami actually feels hurt when she finds out that Marinette initially didn't like her.

Kagami is a GOOD girl.

°Now, what Marinette did to Kagami in Animaestro before that was very unacceptable.

Temporarily teaming up with Chloe to sabotage/publicly humiliate/embarrass Kagami to "not let her get Adrien" "not let her take Adrien away," mess with Adrien's perception of her.

- Jumping to outrageous conclusions out of paranoia, panic and fear. (My cute child needs to be sat down and sternly talked to about this.)

- Trying to manipulate & take away Adrien's choice to decide whether he wants Kagami or not.

(I think this probably marked the episode where Mari's unhealthy/toxic behavior starts to spiral as new episodes come out. (And these ARE out of order so wth is up with Mari's unhealthy escalation lately?)

- Using Tiki for personal, jealous purposes to humiliate Lila in front of Adrien. Acting so irrational and heated in front of 2 civillains(from her perspective) Mari?

- Invading Adrien's home/room, touching everything, lying on his bed....sniffing his things? 😧 Without his consent just to leave a present....when she could have just left it on the window sill, not barge into his room and NOT act very creepy.

- Everything she did & said when she thought that Adrien was one of the wax statues.

😮😬😖 Marinette, honey noooooOOOooo.

ALL OF THIS?

Toxic/Unhealthy behavior. It very much is.

Let's not pretend please.

This is not acceptable period. I very much side-eye another's perceptions on the matter when they say "I knew people like this" "They turned out alright."

Oh...did they? Or is this simply what YOU are saying and we, the internet people don't have the full story?

I Kill Bill squint my eyes at the opinions of people who so easily dismiss toxic/unhealthy behavior.

This is not simply a discussion on fictional characters btw, but on the behavior itself ECT. and the fact that this person brought in real people as an example.

(Btw Any teens reading this? Young adults? Please remember to use protection when having sex. Babies are a high stress responsibility that a person who is either still a kid or a very young adult should not be handling or have to handle. "Results may vary" and all that. Another person's experiences aren't guaranteed to be yours and we already have COUNTLESS evidence that having babies while young is NOT a good idea. Please & Thank you.)

In response to a little tidbit in that person's post.) Anyways.

- Being mature while in a relationship is very important. That much is apparent.

In the context of the show for these 2 teens they are in love with one another.

You cannot behave like all of THIS if you wish to maintain a relationship with someone.

This is not grounds for a healthy, safe, respectful relationship.

°Not respecting your friend or spouse, their choices, their boundaries, their space, their being makes you a borderline abusive person.

(Guys c'mon.) If Adrien & Marinette were real people? They would be very creepy, toxic kids. Hell we DO have some very toxic people, even children that act like this in real life. This is a no. All the no.

- Other ships in the show being unhealthy does not in no way invalidate or downplay the fact that Adrien & Marinette's behavior is unhealthy.

- There are many, many, many, many instances of their unhealthy behavior, not "just two." It's insulting that this person treats the fans who point this out as if we are some idiots who do not watch the show and therefore can not call out this obvious lie.

- There being moments where Adrien & Marinette actually behave theirselves for once does not at all erase or invalidate every single one of their toxic moments.

- The show does not do a good job of writing scenes where getting into these characters heads that behaving this way is unacceptable, at all. No character development there.

(Them giving up on persuing eachother at the end of the season does not address the toxic behavior. That is just them being tired of not getting the results that they want from their crushes.)

- It's hard for me to debate as well. Calling the whole ship unhealthy/toxic? In real life, no way josay would this be okay, in the show? Marinette & Adrien at their core ARE good kids. And they DO sometimes realize their mistakes. But it really, truly isn't enough. There is either not much or no consequences to their innapropriate behavior at all.

(You might say Chat Blanc, but that was circumstance because they didn't reveal their identities to each other in full, not consequence for Mari's creepy room invasion, that was separate.)

It's so debatable. These unhealthy behaviors should NOT be encouraged and the Love Square shouldn't be shipped during them.

I'm just gonna say that I hope with all my might that the writers get it into their heads that this is NOT okay to market to children and that they CANNOT expect kids to understand or tell what toxic behavior is or that the innapropriate things Adri & Mari do are okay.

THAT is a large issue above all else here.

(Let's get some major character development please.)

- "Sometimes you have to sacrifice when you love someone."

This sounds way left field and is not at ALL what the fans who protest Adri & Mari's toxic behavior are talking about.

- "I think a lot of the criticism comes from people who just don't understand love. Maybe they've never been in love."

How absolutely patronizing, condescending, presumptuous in itself and very ignorant.

That's not even. How do I respond to that?

Wow.

I am not repeating myself, I already wrote a whole darn essay. My answer to this is all of the above.

And lastly-

"But the love square is FAR from toxic.

Far, far, far from it."

...Hm. Hm Hm. Hm. Yes of course. 😐😐😐

Okey. I think I'm done here. It's literally been an hour gathering my thoughts, typing and editing this. Anybody who actually read all of this, feel free to comment? Note? I dunno, I'm new to Tumblr. Calling comments/replies "notes" is weird to me.

#miraculous ladybug #Answer to a weird post #Love Square #Toxic fictional relationships #Stalking in fiction #looong post #My poor sweet superhero children need proper parental guidance and serious help #REALLY long post #Unhealthy ships #toxic ships #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste

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donnarider · 7 years ago

Text

!!DISCONTINUED!! Klance - soulmate au (part 4)

Author’s notes:

update 12th July 2019: This story is unfortunately discontinued. There will not be a next part. I’m really sorry.

Read part 1

Read part 2

Read part 3

“Bold” texts are from Keith, “italic” texts are from Lance

„Wow, that’s… rough?“

„Yes it is! I mean… I meant what I said. I just thought he would...”

“Say that he wants to be more than friends?”

“Yeah…” Lance put his head on the table they were studying at. The library was quiet and Lance had a hard time keeping his voice down while telling Hunk about his horrible not-date date.

“So how did the rest of the da…what happened after that?”

“Well, I was dying on the inside and pretended everything was fine on the outside. So, the usual.”

“Lance!”

Lance sighed and leaned back on his chair. The library’s ceiling suddenly seemed very fascinating to him. “We talked about stuff like favourite movies and such. I asked him about his bike. I had to leave for my seminar and he said he’d text me.”

“Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” Hunk decided and squeezed Lance’s shoulder supportively. “Maybe he just needs some time?”

“And what do I do if he doesn’t? I thought I’d be fine with being just friends but-,” he waved his hands around in a helpless motion. “I was basically doomed when he told me to be nice to my coffee in Spanish. I can’t just NOT crush on him now, you know. And that sucks… big time.”

Hunk smiled sympathetically at him and continued to flip through the book in front of him. “Just take it slow. Take a break for a few days and then invite him to do something and see what it feels like then. He’ll either change his mind or you could just bring me and Pidge along to make the friends thing easier. Maybe that’ll help?”

“Hmm. Yeah, maybe.”

Hunk closed his book and got up. “You up for visiting Pidge and Matt? I don’t think we’re gonna get anything done here right now. Also I think Matt finally got that video game you wanted to play so badly.”

“Nooo, Hunk. You wanted to study. I didn’t mean to distract you, I’m just gonna-“

“It’s fine, Lance. I can’t concentrate anyways. And you helped me so much with my last essay, I think I can go a day without studying.”

Lance smiled at him and got to his feet as well. “Okay. But I swear I’ll be back to normal tomorrow and then we’re gonna take a look at the stuff from Iverson’s physics lecture.” Hunk groaned loudly and made Lance laugh with his desperate expression. “I know, I know. But we both have to get better at that stuff.” He stood behind Hunk and made a gesture over his shoulder like he wanted to show Hunk a beautiful landscape.

“NASA, dude. NASA.”

“Ugh, you’re right. But Matt and Pidge now. My brain needs a break.”

Lance swung his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe I get one of Pidge’s hugs. I love Pidge’s hugs.”

Hunk beside him nodded. “Everyone does, man. They’re the best.”

Wednesday

(3:15am): WTF DUDE? ???

(3:17am): I KNOW SORRY! Its our stupid neighbors having a party…

(3:18am): AT T HIS HOU R???

(3:18am): pls kill them for me

(3:20am): I would but prison isnt as appealing to me as you might think

(3:21am): So ur bad boy attitude knows boundaries? ;)

(3:22am): Dont mock me Im too tired for this

(3:24am): Yeh I can feel that

(3:24am): u really dont deal well without ur beauty sleep

(3:25am): Sorry :( And no, I really dont

(3:31am): KEEEEEEITHH do smth!!!!

(3:32am): I have a test tomorrow !!

(3:34am): OM G IT STOPPED

(3:35am): Keith?

(3:35am): did u kill them?

(3:36am): maybe

(3:36am): KE ITH!

(3:37am): I slipped an anonymous note under their door that I would kill their cat if they didnt turn off the music immediately…

(3:38am): O M G thats cruel

(3:38am): u dont threaten peoples pets

(3:38am): NOT COOL!

(3:39am): chill, I was joking. It said Id call the cops on them

(3:40am): Oh okay good hope ur not just saying that

(3:40am): Also thankk

(3:41am): no problem. Good night, Lance

(3:43am): Lance?

(7:36am): SORRY FELL ASLEEP!

(7:37am): Have fun at work today :)

Friday

(4:12pm): why

(4:25pm): what? u dont like it? ;)

(4:28pm): no

(4:29pm): oh come on! The queen is my best study motivation!

(4:30pm): please just stop

(4:32pm): KEITH! YOU INSULT BEYONCÉ YOU INSULT ME

(4:33pm): Can’t you study to something normal

(4:35pm): Normal normal or you normal?

(4:36pm): I dont care. Just no more beyoncé please. It’s been hours

(4:39pm): Lance?

(4:42pm): really?

(4:42pm): Evanescence? That’s mature…

(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIIIDE

(4:45pm): I hate you

(4:46pm): No u dont :)

(4:47pm): STOP THIS MADNESS!

(4:48pm): Hunk says if you come to a college thing with us tomorrow, he’ll stop me for you

(4:50pm): What kind of thing?

(4:51pm): dunno, Hunk wont say, but its really good apparently

(4:53pm): OKAY DEAL NOW PLEASE STOP

(4:54pm): Party-pooper

(4:56pm): Tell Hunk I love him

Keith got off his bike, took off his helmet and unzipped his leather jacket. He headed towards the university building with mixed feelings about what awaited him. He had fought with himself about coming today but eventually the curious side of him had won. Keith wanted to see what Hunk had planned for them and also even if it scared him to admit it…he missed Lance.

Logically he knew that it did not make any sense. They hardly knew each other. But emotionally he just… missed him. He sighed and blinked against the bright sunlight. He lifted his hand to shield his eyes against it and bumped into someone.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“Don’t sweat it. All good here.” A friendly voice interrupted him. The tall boy in front of him looked him over and tilted his head to the side. „Hey, are you Keith by any chance?”

Keith nodded. “The one and only.”

“Oh, great! I’m Hunk.“ Keith took the big hand he was offered and returned the welcoming smile. When Hunk gestured for them to move out of the sun and stand in the tall building’s shadow Keith followed him thankfully.

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for saving me yesterday by the way.”

“Oh, no problem. Lance can get like that sometimes when he’s stressed. He didn’t mean anything by it. You know… finals and all. He’s a bit on edge around this time of the year.”

“No, I get it. NASA is a big thing, who wouldn’t freak out, right?”

Hunk gave a nervous laugh. “Yah, I guess. So umm, Lance had to pick up our friend Pidge, they should be here-“

“Exactly now.” Lance’s voice interrupted them. He stopped next to Hunk and let Pidge whom he had been carrying just now slip off his back.

“Hey, Keith. This is Pidge. They use they pronouns. I guess you already know Hunk by now.” Lance smiled at him and clapped Hunk on the back.

Keith nodded and raised his hand in greeting at Pidge. Immediately he regretted the awkward gesture and lowered his hand quickly.

“What’s up butter cup.” Pidge replied with a grin completely ignoring Keith’s weird behavior, who in return just raised an eyebrow at their choice of words.

“Lance, why did you carry Pidge here? Did you take ‘pick them up’ literally again?” Hunk asked with his hands on his hips.

“They paid me two dollars.”

Pidge shrugged. “I didn’t want to walk. It’s too early.”

“It’s almost noon, Pidge.” Hunk said while shaking his head but there was a visible smile on his lips.

“Exactly. Way too early.”

“I feel you, Pidge.” Keith threw in. “I had three coffees before I got here.”

Pidge yawned and stretched their arms over their head. “Good thinking. I only had one and I feel dead inside.”

“So, Hunk. What is this thing? Why are we here?” Lance asked and absently patted Pidge’s head while they leaned against him, eyes closed and repeatedly yawning.

“We are here, because today…” Hunk made a dramatic pause, “They are having a lecture about space for family and friends of students and-“

“AHHH STAR CEILING?” Lance interrupted Hunk excited while bouncing up and down, Hunk just smiled and nodded.

“Yep, Star ceiling.”

“What exactly is star ceiling?” Keith asked confused. Judging from Lance’s reaction this had to be the best thing in the entire universe.

“It’s only the best thing ever, dude,” Lance started to explain while taking Keith’s arm and pulling him in the direction of a big building.

“They only do this once or twice a year when they have family day for the freshmen and around finals for the really stressed out students so they don’t go all homicidal and stuff.” They entered the lecture hall and Lance directed them to a row in the back. “It’s basically just a short lecture about space and planets and what we do here at college but at the end they turn off the lights and project stars on the ceiling and walls. Dude…it’s the most beautiful thing ever. It will change you!” He gestured for Keith to sit down in one of the empty seats and sat next to him.

Hunk took the seat on Keith’s other side and Pidge sat next to Lance. It seemed like they were just in time because a man holding a mic entered the small stage. From the corner of his eyes Keith saw Pidge leaning over to Lance and whispering something into his ear. A moment later Lance bent forward so that Hunk and Keith could both hear him.

“Sorry guys, we’re gonna get Pidge more coffee. They are literally about to murder someone. We’ll be back in a minute.” With that they both left the room and Keith was alone with Hunk, which he didn’t mind that much. They had only exchanged a few sentences but Keith already liked the guy.

The man on the stage started talking about the importance of astronomy and explained the different subjects they were teaching. Unfortunately he had a really boring and monotone voice and Keith immediately zoned out. Thank God Hunk was there to keep him entertained.

“I know this stuff isn’t really interesting, especially not when he’s talking,” Hunk pointed in the direction of the stage. “But it’s really worth it. Lance didn’t exaggerate…well maybe a little… but it actually is crazy beautiful.”

“So you three all study astronomy?” Keith asked. This was his opportunity to learn a bit more about Lance and his friends without this nervous feeling he got around his soulmate. Hunk somehow managed to create an atmosphere around him that immediately made Keith feel comfortable.

“Yeah. It was actually Lance who got me into this stuff when we were younger. We met Pidge here on our first day. They are this crazy genius and got into college early. They are only sixteen but way ahead of most of the students here. Turned out they and their brother Matt live in the same building as me and Lance so we hung with them a couple of times and now we’re all basically besties for life.”

“Space nerds unite,” Keith said with a smile.

“Haha, yeah. Basically.”

“So… do you and Pidge wanna get into NASA too or is that only Lance?” Keith checked the stage for a second but the guy was still talking about boring stuff and Keith noticed that a few other people in the audience had started quiet conversations.

“Well Pidge is as good as in, let’s be real. Me… well. Of course NASA is the dream for almost everyone at this university and I would be thrilled… but I’m not as set as Lance if that makes sense. I feel like I could work anywhere as long as I’m close to my friends.” Hunk shrugged and knitted his brows in deep thought before he cleared his throat.

“Lance is working really hard for it though. You have no idea how many scholarships he had to apply for before he finally got a foot in. Didn’t stop him though.” He smiled and Keith could feel how proud he was of his friend. “You know, the first year was rough. He failed an important test two times and was sure they were gonna kick his ass but he studied harder than all of us and now he’s always in the top 5.”

“Wow. That’s really impressive,” Keith heard himself say and immediately wanted to slap himself. Way to sound like a high school fangirl, Kogane. Can we please think before we speak, brain?!

“Yeah it is.” Hunk sighed, unfazed by Keith’s inner distress. “It’s also really hard to watch sometimes though…”

Keith raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not the part where he’s top of the class, no. I mean how he gets there. You can’t imagine how many all-nighters the boy pulls during finals and he always pushes himself to get better. I mean it’s great that he’s improving but sometimes I wish he would allow himself a break.” He stiffened and gave a quick laugh. “I’m talking too much again, aren’t I. Sorry, this must be a weird first impression.”

Keith didn’t say anything for a while and chewed on his lower lip. “Is it really that bad? I mean… I haven’t noticed anything and finals are just around the corner right?” He thought back to the few times he’d seen Lance. He had always looked cheery and well… relaxed.

Hunk seemed to be pondering over his answer for a while. That’s when they heard the door behind them open slowly and Lance and Pidge slipped back into the room, Pidge holding a coffee cup in each hand. Hunk leaned over a bit and whispered just before the other two sat down. “Look at his eyes, he thinks we don’t notice…”

Keith had no idea what he meant by that and was staring at a spot on the floor absently when Lance waved his hand in front of his face to get him out of his trance. “Keith, buddy, my man. They’re about to start, don’t pass out on me now!”

Keith blushed a little and sat up straighter. “Yeah, sorry. Not passing out. Now, let’s see your space magic thing. Hope it’s as good as you made it sound.”

The boy next to him grinned from ear to ear. “Better.”

The crowd around them applauded loudly. Apparently the speech part was over and somebody dimmed the lights, making everyone go silent. It was now completely dark in the hall. Keith could feel his palms getting sweaty. Why was this taking so long? He swallowed hard.

He whispered, almost inaudible “Lance?” but in this exact moment they turned on the projectors and surprised ahhhhs and ohhhs could be heard through the entire room.

Keith threw his head back so quickly he almost hit it on his seat’s backrest.

Lance’s words hadn’t prepared him for what he was seeing now at all. It was truly just… beautiful. Thousands of little stars were dancing on the ceiling and the floor and just everywhere. He knew he was sitting in a boring lecture hall and he felt incredibly stupid for even thinking so but for a moment he really felt like he was in space. His heartbeat sped up and his eyes wander around the entire room so quickly he was almost getting sick.

Keith was trying to take it all in before it stopped. The stars danced around his fingertips as he raised his hand in front of his face and watched. He wasn’t even questioning how the whole thing worked it was just too… too everything. In a good way.

“Sooo, did I promise too much?” Lance suddenly whispered next to his ear.

Keith just shook his head and then turned it to smile at him. “No, you didn’t. This is great! Thanks for inviting me to this.” Lance smiled at him and then quickly turned his head to the ceiling again. Neither of them mentioned that it had actually been Hunk who invited Keith.

Keith was still staring at Lance’s face from the corner of his eyes, watching the stars being projected onto his skin and their reflections in his eyes. He looked so beautiful like this, it made Keith’s head spin. He wanted to say something, to tell Lance how pretty he was but he bit his tongue instead. Just friends he reminded himself.

That’s when he remembered Hunk’s words from earlier and looked at Lance’s eyes more closely. What was he supposed to see? The long eyelashes? The small freckles underneath them? The well blended but thick layer of… concealer? Something clicked in his brain. Hunk had mentioned that Lance wasn’t sleeping enough and pushing too hard. Of course he and many others were unable to tell if they didn’t know what to look for. Lance had covered up his dark circles almost perfectly. Almost… Keith turned his gaze to the ceiling again and frowned. Why was he pretending to be fine? It was normal to be tired around finals wasn’t it? Why was he trying to hide it?

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid we have to end this now since our time is up,” a voice sounded from the front of the room. “Thank you all for coming and enjoy the rest of your day on campus.” They turned off the projectors and disappointment could be heard all around. Some classical song started to play and people started to shift but the lights were still out. Keith dug his nails into his palm and tried to breathe evenly. It’s fine, he tried to tell himself. They’re gonna turn them back on every second. Only they didn’t.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we’re having some trouble back here. We’re sure everything will be fixed soon,” the voice echoed again. “Always a bit hard to find the light switch in the dark.” The voice said and gave a fake laugh. Some parents laughed as well. Keith didn’t. He gulped and pressed deeper into his seat.

He could feel Lance stir in the dark next to him and a hand touching his shoulder. “Keith? Are you okay?” Before Keith could even think of something to respond with the lights were finally turned back on. Keith let out a very deep breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding until now. He quickly unclenched his hands and turned his head to give Lance a small smile.

“All good, yes. I’m a bit sad it was over so quickly though.”

Lance looked at him questioningly for a second longer before he returned the smile. “Right? I wish they would do this more often!”

The group got up and headed out before the mass of people in the hall could block the aisles. The bright sunlight blinded Keith for a moment when they walked outside and he held up his helmet to shield his eyes. Someone walked into him from behind and he quickly turned around to apologize for stopping in the doorway but it was Lance he was looking at. An elderly woman complained about them being in her way and they stepped aside and walked a few feet to get away from the mass.

“Sorry for bumping into you,” Lance started, “It’s just,” he pointed at the helmet in Keith’s hand. “I didn’t notice before because I was so excited about the star thing but… did you bring your bike?” Hunk listened to their conversation and laughed looking at Lance now. Keith didn’t exactly understand what he thought was so funny and turned to Pidge for help but they were just quietly smiling at the whole scene.

“Ummm, yes? It’s how I got here. I don’t have a car, soo…” Keith shrugged a little lost.

“Awesome! I mean great. I mean...,” Lance scratched his head. “Can I see it?”

“Uhh, sure. I parked right over there.” Keith pointed over his shoulder. Lance didn’t even wait for the others. He was already on his way to the parking lot, almost running. When the others caught up with him he was inspecting Keith’s bike and admiring the details of the machine by almost touching it with his nose.

Hunk and Pidge seemed kind of impressed too and Hunk slapped Keith’s shoulder. “Sweet ride, Keith!” He joined Lance in walking around the bike to get a better look. “Lance mentioned you work at a workshop. Did you build this yourself?”

Keith nodded and then realised that Hunk wasn’t looking at him so he couldn’t see. “Yah, I did. It was the first project I did without Shiro’s help. Took me a while to find all the parts. I could get a better bike if I wanted but I’m kind of sentimental I guess.”

Lance nodded. “No I get it. It’s a bit like it’s your child, right? I mean… you made her.”

Keith smiled. “Yeah. I guess.”

Pidge gave a fake cough to get everyone’s attention and pointed at the bike. “If you’re finished drooling over that can we go get some food please?”

“That?” Keith repeated in a fake hurt tone.

“They’re secretly loving this more than Lance and me. You should see the stuff they build. We should visit you at your shop and just leave Pidge there for a few hours. They’d have the time of their life.” Hunk chuckled at the expression on Pidge’s face after his revelation.

“Speaking of food though,” Lance looked at Keith and tilted his head, “We thought about grabbing a bite at Planet Altea. You in?”

Keith considered for a moment. He could spend some more time with them and get to know them better. He probably should. Shiro would tell him to… but he also really wanted to go home. The light incident had seriously freaked him out even if he didn’t want to show it. He’d rather calm down at home, alone, where he could stop pretending and no one would see what a mess he really was after such a small thing.

“Sorry, I need to leave. Shiro wants to visit an old friend of his and he’s dragging me along.” Lie. Shiro never dragged him anywhere Keith didn’t want to go. Apart of from that Shiro wasn’t even home right now.

Lance chewed his lower lip. “Ohh. Okay. We’ll text then?” The disappointed look on his face made Keith feel bad instantly.

“Yes definitely. It was really great. Thank you all for taking me.” Let me leave let me go.

Pidge and Hunk said goodbye and they watched Keith take off quickly. Lance waved one last time before he was out of sight, but Keith didn’t turn around to see it.

Usually driving calmed him down but he felt himself get more anxious with every mile. He was glad he could finally take off the helmet when he arrived at his and Shiro’s place because he could breathe more freely instantly. He put the bike in the garage, unlocked the front door and took the elevator up to their floor. After hastily unlocking the front door and locking it after himself again, he immediately kicked off his boots and headed for his bedroom.

He’d learned a few breathing techniques during his never ending counseling sessions and was really glad about that right now. After some minutes of leaning against his door he got his breathing under control. His thoughts however where still spinning, so he put his favourite playlist on shuffle and flopped down on his bed.

After a couple of songs Keith took out his phone to ask Shiro when he would be home and noticed he had gotten a few messages.

(2:17pm): Hey, u ok?

(2:18pm): Getting kind of an anxious vibe over here?!

(2:20): Also thats an awful lot of emo music for someone who insists hes not emo ;)

Shit. Sometimes he forgot the soulmate connection was a thing.

(2:33pm): Sorry! Yes I’m good

There was an immediate response.

(2:33pm): U sure? Doesnt feel like it

(2:35pm): Idk

(2:36pm): Maybe not

(2:36pm): do you wanna talk? I can call u

Keith’s whole body tensed. Was he ready for that? Should he lie, maybe say he was tired and wanted to nap or something? Should he tell the truth? He frowned.

(2:37pm): I’m not… good at phone calls

(2:37pm): Np u can just listen and I’ll do the talkin

(2:39pm): that’d be ok?

Keith swallowed. Shiro probably wouldn’t be home for a while and he really needed to talk to someone. The question was if Lance was safe to talk to? Would it overstep the friendship line? Why could things never be easy…

(2:42pm): yes, ok

[Incoming call: Lance McClain]

More author’s notes:

This fic on AO3

Yeah after 500 years I finally updated. I could explain at length why it took my so long but it comes down to this: I was stressed, I was depressed, I’m sorry but now it’s finally here! Hooray!

As always a big THANK YOU to @alteanmoonchild for being my beta and for reading every new draft and honestly telling me when what I wrote isn’t good so I can improve and grow. I love us working together on this <3

Thank you to all of you for reading! If you have any questions or feedback send me an ask or dm me <3

Me an my friends finally cosplayed Voltron so if you wanna see me as Shiro and my awesome friends as Keith, Lance and Coran head over to my instagram.

Do you know what keeps me motivated when I so often doubt my writing and don’t know how to continue? Getting feedback! So please reblog, like, comment or even draw fanart. Whenever I read an “I love this” comment it makes me incredible happy! Also one of my goals is to someday have someone draw fanart for something wrote soo... if you wanna do that I’ll love you. Also please tag me if you do.

If you want me to tag you in the next part when I post it, just send me an ask saying so and I’ll add you to the taglist.

taglist: @alyy--caticus @princealektheorange @an-important-nobody @teddyorionpotter @spookyscaryshitstorm @ladythugs @positevelybakerstreet @meganmoo02 @atomicengineerdetective @jishwadun-is-jishwafun @anemoee

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sincerely-yours-always · 5 years ago

Text

Diary thoughts:

Seeing her name in your most recent reposts makes me laugh and cry at the same time. Why you keep the act up, and why I still follow you just to see the same things over again are the same question....

I don’t want it if I can never tell when you’re telling the truth or lying anymore. If I have to beg you to leave someone alone. If I’m constantly finding new ways you keep her in your world. And why if you want her in it so badly, why you wouldn’t just leave me alone ?

You don’t understand why it hurts me. Why, when I see she follows “my” playlist, the one you had made for me, and listens to it and thinks of you... how would that not feel like a knife in my back? Out of everyone in the whole world and out of all your playlists, why wouldn’t it bother me that it’s her listening to that one? Why out of everyone in the whole world was it her reposting your dd/lg and love posts? Why out of everyone she felt comfortable enough to take your hoodie home and wear it? That photos of you are still on her profiles when you so strongly didn’t want me to post or tag you on my own.

You were in my house, I was lying on your chest. You were snapping someone named kat and hiding your phone from me. You later tried to explain it was your friends gf, and it was private and just didn’t want me involved in their personal stuff. When all the photos and everything came out, you know what crushed me? That I didn’t know if I could believe you anymore. The thought of you flirting with kitty over snap while I laid on your chest a few inches from you... and then lying to me. How do I know what’s true or not? When you’ve admitted to hiding certain things from me, and lying the past few months... when you told me nothing had happened between you two before I saw that photo of you two kissing. When you told me you’d blocked her, to rediscover you guys following each other again several times... or more tumblr pages and reposts. The sight of that photo, all photos of you two... gave me this sick turning feeling in my stomach. Like I was stuck on a park ride nightmare and it wouldn’t let me off.

You act like regaining trust is my duty alone. Like i need to ignore all previous behavior and write it off as the past / you guys don’t talk anymore. But it’s not. It’s not my duty alone. You don’t like the thought of me trusting you. But how am I supposed to rebuild trust alone? How can I believe someone who keeps saying one thing, but actions don’t seem to line up? When if she really doesn’t mean anything to you and you don’t talk, why it seems so hard to not involve her in your life anymore?

You say that you didn’t leave me for another girl, that you left. For the 3 months before you left, I tried harder than I ever did in my life. I worked so hard on myself and to prove that I loved you and that I was seriously trying to come over... and in my mind, we were still trying? Still dating/daddy-baby girl? Still in love and trying to make it work? But you were on tinder and drunk making out with this girl and going on museum dates and who knows what else... and you don’t call it cheating because you didn’t believe that I was trying to come back and kept repeating we weren’t officially dating again until I came back. But to me? I was trying so fucking hard and you were kissing that girl and lying to me and who knows how much else you don’t tell me until I find it myself... and to me, you betrayed my trust. I sent you cute birthday gifts and so much money and tried to help you so much and that whole time... that whole time, you were playing me. You were out partying and getting drunk and doing whatever you did with this girl, and then got mad when I started asking questions. And I can imagine you getting mad now, if I tell you myself that I felt cheated, you would get mad and make me feel guilty for leaving countries and “leading you on” by dating you for so long (like doing long distance didn’t hurt/cost me too, and like you were the only one going through it, or like you didn’t try to break up with me like 10 times) and like somehow in this whole scenario... I’m the bad guy. All I did was love you with my whole heart and try to be honest with you in the throes of so much complicated life shit?!? For me - in those last few months- you broke my trust, my heart, the idea I had of you in my head. The thought that you were honest and loyal and were trying hard with me to be “team we”. You were Daddy. Mine only. And suddenly my mind was opened to the possibility and reality that you weren’t just my Daddy anymore. That you could and would be a daddy to other girls, maybe even this kitty girl. Because how do I know anything you’ve ever told me to be true, except for the fact that I wanted to believe you were true and honest and good? The fact that you still have her on snap and have hung out with her enough to give her your Spotify ... like what, was she in your car? Were you giving her a ride and she heard your music and liked it? Have you seen her more often than you’ve led me to believe?

How do I know anything or trust anything, Daddy? Why would you come back and say we should try again, when the one who stopped trying was you? Are you going to change your mind in 2 days time? Are you going to leave me again when you’re tired of committing to me? Or see her or others casually without telling me again? Are you ever going to have her actually blocked from you completely? Or would I still be begging you a year, 2 years from now? How can I love you so much and be so angry at you for lying to me like that?!? For pushing me to utter vulnerability and honesty when you couldn’t even do that about this girl? You had pushed me to the point I was willing to buy a plane ticket for the next week just to prove my love and commitment to you, and you... were doing.... I wouldn’t know what you were doing because you stopped talking to me. You want me to forgive and forget because “we all have our own demons and weaknesses”, because “you’re human”, because “you’re lonely”? I WAS LONELY. All I wanted was you!! I begged you in that letter, I would try calling, I would send gifts, I felt so lonely with you. How is it that you said you loved me so much and made me feel so fucking alone? Why would I send money and gifts and cards and letters, why would I send photos and call everyday if I wasn’t trying? Why was I blamed for everything? For getting mad about this girl and looking for things online, for getting mad about you not replying for 48hours... I sent flowers to your mom after your grandmas funeral. You made me cry in the bathtub on my own birthday. For leading you on? When I’ve been through my own trauma and shit and didn’t know what to do or how to come back to you without my family’s approval... and you bullied me. You refused to give me love or support, or get rid of kat’s photos until I had a flight date for you, and you made me feel guilty about not knowing. Like I didn’t love you enough, like I had kept you from fucking other girls and living your life. Like loving me was a boring duty that you were stuck with. You came to visit me on this trip I was so excited for, and all of a sudden you had this huge ultimatum that sucked the life out of me for the second half of your visit. All I had wanted was to be with you and hold you and hug you and cry and laugh and not think about how hard life was for a while... and it was every second day that you were asking me about when I was coming back and if I didn’t have a flight date, we were breaking up, and I didn’t know what to do. My anxiety went through the roof at the thought of losing you and I couldn’t think straight, how is anyone (let alone someone struggling with mental health) supposed to make a big life decision under that pressure in that time crunch?!? Like here, try and enjoy this time with this person but also make a quick decision which could result in you losing your family or losing the love of your life?! All I was asking for was some time to process, that I would still try, that the answer was no for now but you went home and what, rejoined tinder immediately and said yes to go hang out / go on a date with kat?

I’m crying so hard my eyes hurt. You may not understand why this girl is such a big deal to me but she is. I am not, NOT NOT not nOT going to do it. If she is still around and still has feels for you and you remain in contact with her through any means, I’m not doing to get involved with you again. And that’s big for me to say. Because I’ve repeatedly called you the love of my life... I don’t think you’ve ever called me that. But not even the love of my life is worth my mental health and I’ve worked fucking hard to get myself to this point, to where I can say that. I think this is what a boundary sounds like. You worry about our ddlg dynamics and trust not being the same... I’m telling you it won’t be if my boundaries aren’t respected. What’s in the past does not stay in the past. It affects me, still today. Your actions may be in the past but those consequences still continue to hurt me. And I’m not getting mixed up in some is it love - is it boredom triangle. My boundary is that she goes or I go. You guys have history and she wants you, and what you’ve allowed to happen between the two of you had hurt me. To deny that or ask me to dismiss it without acknowledging the hurt you’ve caused... well. I’ve said what I’ve said. I can’t trust someone enough to be little and vulnerable and safe with them, if I’m constantly unsure if I’m the only one / made to feel like she’s still in your life. You want me to trust you, I want to trust you. I’ve said before that I would gladly delete old flames if it made you feel like I was being reciprocal, and I will. But if I’m considering this yes and want to try and make it work with you, “team we”, she’s gone. Blocked. Idc if it’s Spotify, snap, tumblr, TikTok, a phone call, Facebook, insta, youtube, email, a group chat, messenger... I want to know you respect me, my feelings, my mental health, my heart, my loyalty and my boundary. Help me rebuild my trust not just with words but with actions, and I’ll do the same. I’m doing hard work with a lot of emotions/mental health/relationships issues on my own time and will continue to do the work and be a better me. But I cannot get over the breach of trust / this girl / you leaving without your help.

(And yes, I know this is not in light of being your partner. But, like, you were the one that made it that way? You dumped me, left me in the lurch to go explore and do whatever you wanted to do, and have now come back to say you miss / want me again — and I’m feeling a lot of anger I didn’t allow myself to feel initially. I’m kind. I’m gentle. I’m sharp and sarcastic. I’m smart. I’m quick on my feet. I’m pretty. I’m a great friend. I’m soft. I cry in movies and around dogs. I am.... so so much. And the way you made me feel so unwanted and shitty and replaceable, I will never forget. You were... you were my anchor. And I felt I was yours. Until you got tired of this anchor and cut them off as dead weight... because, in your eyes, it seemed right for the anchor and the boat. So the boat could go sailing and meet other boats and be free, but what is an anchor without a boat exactly? You did what you wanted and what you thought was right for you. Not me. Because what I was asking for - reciprocal energy, attention, support, answers, a call back..: you couldn’t give me. And so you did what was right for you, the sail boat, to do. You cut ties and left. And then you got an anchor tattoo after dumping me? Or was it before. I don’t even remember time that well anymore. I think it was after. No yeah, it was after. Like here is this little momento I’ll remember you by as I move on and leave you behind, little anchor. I cried for a whole week after you showed me. Like here, I’ve left you but look at how much you meant to me and how much we could be, but I’m leaving you and don’t want you, but maybe someday I will?? I couldn’t even say your name. I just cried daddyy... like somehow you would magically hear me and remember me. The way I grieved for you someone would have thought you died. I couldn’t eat or sleep, I would cry at random moments and I could barely leave my bed. I wouldn’t let anyone touch my ring or try to take it off, I’d just lay there curled up, rocking back and forth and grasping at the ring on my finger. I am keenly aware that I haven’t been your partner for a fucking long time... because just when I thought we were close or still trying, you’d remind me. Too little too late. You don’t have a flight date. I’m lonely and human and you can’t be jealous. I don’t love you the same way you love me and I’m sorry. The end.)

((These tumblr reposts simply cannot allllll be old posts. Like I asked you to block her at least 2-3 months ago at the minimum, I don’t think repost queues are that long. Not looking for a fight on that but it has been your answer for every single repost I’ve asked about and I’m tipsy and it’s pissed me off))

Now that that’s all off my chest, I think I can talk to you without crying or exploding with sadness and jealousy. Or maybe I’ll just tipsy nap.

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alaric-greyson · 7 years ago

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Ugh. Really @tcfkag? Fine...as you knew perfectly well, this is going to draw me in. So Ross is a bit of an egotistical ass. He’s definitely a know-it-all, and takes inordinate pride in knowing more than his friends. Late series Ross is also a caricature (as are all three of the guys, but Ross took the worst slide of the three). Lastly it’s a 90s sitcom so there’s a whole series of behavior that the exact same character in 2017 probably wouldn’t demonstrate. Additionally while Friends is responsible for the “nice guy” meme, it’s Chandler who introduces Ross to it in Season 1 (while using it to explain why Ross can’t be friends with Rachel if he ever wants to hook up with her). Any critique of Ross as the “worst Friend” while ignoring the incredibly sketchy behavior of Chandler and Joey is unbalanced. Please continue reading if you want my long rant about Ross

However you’ve forced me to defend Ross. 1) Ross as guy who complains about women and changing mores - Ross was theoretically the Friend who had the worst luck with women (though Larry_b on reddit still has him clocking in at 14 sexual partners so it’s a TV show kind of “trouble with women”). He is involved with a surprisingly high number of women through his work (both at the museum and when he’s teaching at a college). However, he rarely takes the initiative in episodes that feature a new romantic interest. Of those where we have a sense of a courtship (vs quick hookup) he’s usually getting teased by his friends, or talking to Monica, or otherwise making it clear that he’s working up to asking her out (the “Bug lady” for example). However he usually seems comfortable with boundaries when they are featured in episodes, and there’s no real sense from episodes after a relationship ends that he cuts them out, rags on them, or anything similar. Additionally there are several potential relationships that he actively doesn’t pursue out of his respect for his former partners (eg Reese Witherspoon). The most problematic relationship through work in the show is his extended relationship with a student in his class. However from what we see of that relationship it was his partner who took much of the initiative (though Ross found all sorts of creative ways to justify inappropriate behavior; he’s still a bit of an ass regardless). The idea that Ross would have issues with policies and behaviors to prevent sexual harassment at work just doesn’t fit the arcs of the relationships we see. I 2) Nice-guy-ism - so Chandler and Ross introduced the world to “the friendzone” and “I’m such a nice guy” and boy has the world run with that. The metaplot of season one is basically “Ross has a crush on Rachel, and wishes she’d realize it.” However, even within the context of the specific episode where the phrase is introduced Ross’s behavior actually refutes the general “Nice guy” pattern. In 01x01 Ross asks Rachel if she would be okay with him asking her out, and she gives a positive response. He then chickens out repeatedly, but with the push of his friends actually attempts to ask her out. For the rest of season one he attempts multiple times to ask Rachel out only to be hilariously thwarted every time by blackouts, stray cats, Italians, evil orthodontists and a dead dog. Finally his friends intervene again, to tell him that it’s not going to happen, and he listens to them. He drops his crush, goes to China for work, and ends up taking steps to start a new, serious, relationship with someone who shares his interests. The later Ross/Rachel drama all comes out of Rachel deciding she wants to pursue the relationship (in fact even after the breakup, it is generally Rachel who re-initiates the relationship for their various attempts to reignite it). 3) Homophobia - there’s no question that all of the friends have some level of homophobia written in, especially the guys. Yet Ross is still the guy who walked his ex-wife down the aisle when she finally got to marry her lesbian partner. He also had a productive parenting relationship with both of them (though Ben does kind of disappear late in the series). Late season Ross is even comfortable napping with Joey, though he is still considers getting caught at it humiliating. 4) The Break - yeah, Ross’s justification for sleeping with the girl from the copy place is bullshit. The initial end of their relationship definitely hangs on Ross (particularly his jealousy, which the show later pegs as being emotional scarring left over from his divorce). The guy should have definitely gone to therapy. Even afterwards though he’s still there to bail his friends, including Rachel, out whenever they need him to (eg driving up to a random rest stop in upstate NY to rescue them). 5) Emily - yeah...the London wedding is probably my least favorite episode of the whole show. Ross basically goes insane for a few minutes. Yet at the same time, he was prepared initially to upend his whole life to make his fiance happy (ie they moved up the wedding specifically so she could be married in her family church before it was knocked down). Unfortunately the sitcom requirement that nothing changes burned him badly and he has to bear the blame in-universe for what went down. I feel I need to re-emphasize that Ross is a bit of an a-hole, but I have a hard time seeing him as a modern #notallmen type. He’d definitely still be a know-it-all, and 100% would find himself mansplaining to Monica, Rachel and Phoebe. Just can’t see him thinking rules to prevent sexual harassment would be an issue.

#defending ross #friends #i'm aware I'm probably mansplaining myself

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diamonds-and-studs · 7 years ago

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I learned who Daniel Adams was because I was a fan of Ryan Ross- former guitarist and lead songwriter of the band Panic At The Disco. Ryan is incredibly private, and rightfully so as many of his fans are incredibly invasive. As such, many fans will follow friends of his to get updates on him. Ryan’s a friend of Daniel’s, set to have been cast as a character in Dan’s upcoming film. My friends are more diehard fans than I, and knew of this before I did, and filled me in. As such, that’s how I caught wind of him, and decided to follow him. I followed Daniel when I heard about him, not just because he knew Ryan, but because I got interested in him as a person outside of that. His posts are quirky, weird, and esoteric, yet visually provocative. His character as a person was a discussion piece among my peers, and as something of a gag, I ended up making him a piece of fan art, as I’d seen other people on Instagram doing. What that morphed into, somehow, was me getting commissioned to do the promotional art for his film. I was very obviously enthused with that premise, as it was an artistic opportunity, especially one involving people I admired. Needless to say, I seized the opportunity.

Working with D was really good in the beginning. He was professional with letting me know the work he wanted me to do and could maintain an appropriate casual relationship. We talked about cars and dogs and punk rock, and it was good! We had very similar tastes and interests. We were nurturing a friendship and learning about each other. It was seeming to bud into being a mentor-pupil relationship. He was very appreciative of me and genuinely seemed to like me as a person. Our work was steady as well- in a stretch from June to mid-July, I made multiple versions of 10-ish pieces for him. We were in talks of potentially casting me for his film, going so far as to have me read the screenplay and for him to propose parts to me.

However he oft referred to me as pet names (baby, doll, honey, fox, etc.). He also gradually kept making more and more inappropriate comments towards me- saying I reminded him of girls he’s dated, that he likes Jewish and Mexican girls just after telling him that I was Jewish, and that I have great legs. He replied to several of my Instagram stories saying “Hot!”. He’d called me beautiful a handful of times. He said I have great legs. His language about women besides me was often also inappropriate. He once said “I’m glad yr 18″ to me”… He once lied to me about his age, saying he was born in ‘66 instead of ‘56 as if I hadn’t read his IMDB- and while it could have been a typo, it could also not have been. I still have every email and text and IG message he’d ever sent me.

He’d also occasionally straight up make fun of me- once texting me at midnight with a photo of his dog, essentially implying I would want something with his dog because I’m queer. After finding out I’m bisexual, he said my brain is half okay. Once he texted me implying I had a crush on Ryan and even though I denied it and said I was rolling my eyes, he insisted and got the last laugh. All of which was incredibly degrading.

I never knew what to say to any of those dubious remarks, and would try to dismiss it or laugh it off despite being uncomfortable because I was afraid that I was overreacting, or if I spoke against it he’d misunderstand me or just not wanna deal with it and cut me out. He was in a great deal of power over me- I trusted him to behave responsibly around our power divide, in whatever way that power divide took form. Mentor/pupil, boss/employee, old/young, or in the realm of public image. I felt there was things to lose if I was to somehow quake our relationship- I would lose a friend, a mentor figure, and a work opportunity I was excited for and passionate about. He was someone I admired for many things, someone I trusted, someone who I was enthused to be involved with. And at this point, I was afraid that I was seeing conflict where there was none- that I was overreacting, that I was misunderstanding. I blamed myself for just about everything.

As I was dealing with the discomfort of how he’d speak to me, he also was slipping in our working relationship. He told me “We’ll get back to work next week” like 3 times, and by mid-July we were pretty much strictly casual. Whenever I tried to get him to acknowledge business, he’d just ignore my messages. That was a stark difference from having had made 10+ pieces for him and having had been in discussions of casting me for Starmaker. I got the vibe that maybe he didn’t have work for me to do, or put the cart in front of the horse in getting me involved- all of which I was fine with, and now know to be true- however it was never communicated to me, so I never knew for sure. I still tried to maintain a casual relationship, because I held faith that he was genuine and that things would work out. I felt that maybe I had done something wrong that made him distrust me, that made him disvalue me. I tried to do right by him from the beginning, even before things seemed to start going south. I tried not to annoy him, to cross what I assumed would be his boundaries. I tried not to ask questions for fear of being invasive. I made him art as gifts outside of business. I wanted to feel valued and respected, and I wanted to be taken seriously. I take myself and my work seriously, and I respect myself.

Eventually I asked Daniel if he would Facetime me some time, since he’d made mention of it a few times but never had. I did this nearly as a last ditch effort to get him to take me seriously. To me, if we were to be in a long term working relationship, some sort of more tangible and direct communication would be a given. He replied “Yeah, call you when I’m drunk” and that was my tipping point in frustration with him. I felt had no idea what he wanted from me, or what he thought of me. I had no idea what I ever did to him to make him talk to me this way. As such I reached out to someone else involved with the film- of which I know very few, one whom I’ve still never spoken to, and the other who I’d only made small talk with- for insight. I asked him if it was something about me, if Daniel was bad at talking to people, what it was. I gave a bit of insight into my frustrations, and he- Bill, the guy I went to- was taken aback. I spilled out some more things to him and he gave me more insight into Daniel’s character. Apparently he’s very often drunk, most days after noon, and can be a huge asshole when drunk. He’s also a master manipulator and is very good at hustling people to get what he wants from them, and disregarding if not berating them when he feels he doesn’t need anything from them.

Bill and I deliberated on the best course of action, and eventually I wrote a long spiel to Daniel about everything I felt in regards to our communication to establish boundaries, and I had faith he’d take it well. I genuinely thought that we could reassess and amend moving forward. I used I statements, I was professional, admitted some of my own confusions, was open and empathetic, etc. I made it clear that I just wanted to establish boundaries and assess communication. I didn’t bombard him with it, I asked him repeatedly once a day for about a week if he had the time to talk, and didn’t get a reply. Eventually I just sent it. (read conversation here)

He said he’d get back to me when he wasn’t busy. I said that if I can take the time to raise the concern, he can take the time to address it. He was dismissive and said sorry for the hassle and that I should talk to my family and friends about it and move on instead of go to him about it. I replied that I had deliberated with my peers and if you take issue with someone, usually you’d go to the person you take issue with to amend. He said he’d discuss more later and I asked when later was. I was tired of the stress of waiting. He replied to me a few hours later and said “What do you want from me” and I said, y’know, communication and basically.. We had a falling out. He told me a few times that he didn’t understand, and to let it go. He was saying I was harassing him, that he was too old for my shit, etc. I never broke face and was only ever polite and professional but he was nasty. I tried to keep guards down, but there was nothing I could do to get through. He did say he’d pay me for my art, though.

So a week later, a week of no contact in between, I emailed him saying I hated that it had to end on bad terms, if it was over, but we needed to talk business, and payment. At this point I didn’t want his money anymore and knew his true colors. Bill seemed to have understood why I wanted to amend, but after my falling out with Daniel, said to me that although he hadn’t told me so directly until that point, I would likely be happier and more productive if I was to abandon ties with the project. I now understand this to be true.

About a week and a half passed from when I contacted Daniel about payment, and I heard no response. I had not contacted him at all in that time sans one text and one Instagram comment (which he deleted) saying that I emailed him. I eventually sought the professional advice of Bill (who is a professional composer and has had forays in film) who told me if I didn’t want my art used by him, I should put it in writing to him and document it as a legal precaution. He gave me all this advice and said he’d help me fill out cease and desists if need be. Bill’s a saint. I then put it in writing, saying that I did not want my work used without my consent if we are not going to discuss my work in our relationship in advance. (read conversation here)

His comment about me harassing him was incredibly rich coming from him, as by legal definition he sexually harassed me, and because I went out of my way to avoid contact with him, going so far as to unfollow him on Instagram within a day of our falling out, while he continued to follow me for about a week after. I haven’t had any contact with Daniel since the end of October.

I trusted Daniel, and I wanted to, because he has so many positive merits. I trusted that he was in the right, that he was responsible in his position of power. Trust is always a venture. I feel that at the time, I didn’t have much reason to distrust him, though some may argue that- however I may have been clouded by my optimistic spirit. Perhaps I should have asked more questions, or been more apprehensive. Perhaps I should have followed my intuition sooner. My thoughts and emotions have been all sorts of clouded lately trying to sort out how I felt about what I knew then, versus how I feel about what I know now, and how I feel now about how I felt then. Part of me still wants to blame myself, and tell myself how I could have fixed it, and what I could have said or done better- and I don’t know why I keep thinking that, as there’s really nothing I could have done, especially as I now know there was really nothing worth doing but leaving. In retrospect, I oft feel very stupid for having trusted him- but I believe that the fault is not on one who trusts an untrustworthy person, rather, on he who takes advantage of someone. I now feel that I was fighting for respect from someone who would not respect me no matter what I did, and that the fact he disrespected me wasn’t consequence for any of my actions, rather just his inherent disposition. And I also feel that I took the right steps- and despite any hurt I suffered, I’m proud of myself for standing up for myself, and for being rational and professional in my approach to this situation that still feels much larger than myself.

From what I know now, Bill intends to have a proper conversation with Daniel about his actions and how they mirror certain scenarios of casting couch culture- think Weinstein- in a serious manner. I don’t know when this will happen. Dan and Bill had something of a falling out, to the best of my understanding- for some reason Daniel texted Bill telling him not to talk shit behind his back, and Bill ignored him for awhile after that. On Thanksgiving, Bill told me he thinks Daniel’s avoiding him. They used to see each other every day, so that’s a harsh difference. Ryan still doesn’t know about any of this. I still want Ryan to know about everything that transpired, but my thoughts on that could fill up a story equally as long as this one. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to sort out my emotions and find the narrative of this story.

#17 #text

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diamonds-and-studs · 7 years ago

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I figured out who Daniel was because I was a fan of Ryan’s but got interested in him as a person outside of that cuz he was this quirky weird esoteric yet talented artist dude. I mean you know my general disposition towards fame culture and how I wasn’t even like, a huge fan of Ryan’s,,, So that association was how I figured out who he was, but not incentive to getting involved. Anyway as kind of as a gag I made him a piece of fan art. What that morphed into was me getting commissioned to do the promotional art for Starmaker. I was very obviously enthused with that premise, as it was an artistic opportunity, especially one involving people I admired.

It was really good in the beginning, he was professional with letting me know the work he wanted me to do and could maintain an appropriate casual relationship. We talked about cars and dogs and punk rock, and it was good! But he oft referred to me as pet names (baby, doll, honey, etc.) and I was never comfortable with that, yet didn’t know how to tell him that, as he was my boss and in a position of power over me. He also gradually kept making more and more inappropriate comments towards me- saying I reminded him of girls he’s dated, that he likes Jewish and Mexican girls (after I told him I was Jewish), that I have great legs. He replied to several of my Instagram stories saying “Hot!”. He’d called me beautiful a handful of times. He said I have great legs. He once said “I’m glad yr 18″ to me”… He once lied to me about his age, and while it could have been a typo, it could also not have been. I still have every email and text and IG message he’d ever sent me. I never knew what to say to any of that and kind of tried to dismiss it or laugh it off despite being uncomfortable because I was afraid that I was misunderstanding or if I spoke against it he’d misunderstand me or just not wanna deal with it and cut me out. He’d also occasionally straight up make fun of me- once texting me at midnight with a photo of his dog, essentially implying I would want something with his dog because I’m queer. After finding out I’m bi, he said my brain is half okay. Once he texted me implying I had a crush on Ryan and even though I denied it and said I was rolling my eyes, he insisted and go the last laugh. All of which was obviously super degrading, because I couldn’t back talk any of it. As I was dealing with the discomfort of how he’d speak to me, he also was slipping in our working relationship. He told me “We’ll get back to work next week” like 3 times, and by mid-July we were pretty much strictly casual. Whenever I tried to get him to acknowledge business, he’d just ignore my messages. That was a stark difference from having had made 10+ pieces for him and basically having had been in discussions of casting me for Starmaker. I still tried to maintain a casual relationship, because I held faith that he was genuine. I trusted him, and I wanted to, because he has so many positive merits. This part is still fuzzy to me in retrospect, trying to sort out what I know now and what I believed then. I now know Daniel’s a professional carpenter (that’s how he met Ryan) and Starmaker is super SUPER far back in production. He’s incredibly good at manipulating his image to seem way more prolific than he actually is, and I knew this to some degree going into it, but not to the extent it’s true. Eventually I once asked him if he would Facetime me some time, since he’d made mention of it a few times but never had. He replied “Yeah, call you when I’m drunk” and that was my tipping point in frustration with him. I had no idea what he wanted from me, if it was my fault, or what the hell. So I reached out to someone else involved with Starmaker- of which I know very few- for insight. I only had one of two peopleI asked if it was me, if Daniel was bad at talking to people, what it was. I gave a bit of insight into my frustrations, and he- Bill, the guy I went to- was taken aback. I spilled out some more things to him and he gave me more insight into Daniel’s character. Apparently he’s very often drunk, most days after noon, and can be a huge asshole when drunk. (Note- Bill is a saint who instantly believed me and did not ask for proof and has been so courteous helping me figure everything out).

We deliberated and eventually I wrote a long spiel to Daniel about everything I felt in regards to our communication to establish boundaries, and I had faith he’d take it well. I used I statements, I was professional, admitted some of my own confusions, was open and empathetic, etc. I didn’t bombard him with it, I asked him repeatedly once a day for about a week if he had the time to talk, and didn’t get a reply. Eventually I just sent it. He said he’d get back to me when he wasn’t busy. I said that if I can take the time to raise the concern, he can take the time to address it. He was dismissive and said sorry for the hassle and that I should talk to my family and friends about it and move on instead of go to him about it. He said he’d discuss more later and I asked when later was. He replied to me a few hours later and said “What do you want from me” and I said, y’know, communication and basically.. We had this falling out. He was saying I was hassling him, that he was too old for my shit, etc. I never broke face and was only ever polite and professional but he was nasty. He did say he’d pay me for my art, though.

So a week later I emailed him saying i hated that it had to end on bad terms, if it was over, but we needed to talk business. I got nothing. At this point I didn’t want his money anymore and knew his true colors. So eventually I sought the professional advice of Bill (who is a professional composer) who told me if I didn’t want my art used by him, I should put it in writing to him and document it as a legal precaution. He gave me all this advice and said he’d help me fill out cease and desists if need be and all this stuff cuz hes a saint. So a week and a half later I put it in writing, and D texted me back saying “Who is this”. I said who and he said “I haven’t done anything with anything why are you harassing me” which is fucking bullshit when I went out of my way to not have contact with him when he followed me on Insta for days after he unfollowed me, and also rich coming from the guy who legally sexually harassed me. Anyhow I was having a mental breakdown through all of this and had nobody to talk to about any of it, ‘cuz you know how shitty my family is. And obviously tihs is undeniably traumatic to some degree, this harsh sense of betrayal and the element of sexual exploitation. My head is still really foggy all the time and it’s hard to think straight dealing with all of this and all the other BS that comes up in therapy. This story has a lot of details and its hard to tell since it’s still fresh and happening. Later on I find that D had been in contact with at least three 13/14 year old girls, not to the extent he was with me, but any 60 year old man talking to tweens on the internet is creepy as fuck. He went after Bill for helping me saying he was shit talking him, which isn’t true, he was helping the teenage girl he abused for 4 months. But I guess whenever Bill sees D next he’s going to have a chat with him about his casting couch inclinations. Ryan still doesn’t know, I want him to for my sake and his, but I don’t know how to raise that to Bill.

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