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jawritter · 5 years ago

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Your Better Half

Request: Jensen Ackles x Sick!Reader

Warning: Some swearing, fluff, tinny bit of angst, doctor and medical realted stuff, fear of needles. That’s about it I think.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Sick!Reader

Word Count: 2050

Want more? Check out my masterlist!

******MASTERLIST******

Hit by a moving bus, after being dropped from an airplane, then thrown into a frozen lake, after having every joint in your body unhinged. That's what you felt like when you rolled out of bed this morning. You barely made it to the bathroom and back to the bed without nearly passing out. You had a high fever, that much you knew, and your stomach felt... Off... Not quite nauseated, but definitely on the verge of it.

Your head was pounding like it had been split open. You had a cold chill even though you were sweating, and your whole body seemed to ach deep down in your bones. You knew that your husband would be awake any minute, but you just couldn't even get yourself together to drag yourself to the coffee pot.

When you crawled into bed again Jensen stretched in his sleep and rolled himself over to face. Blinking sleepily at you as his mossy green eyes focused on you.

"Morning." He mumbled. Giving you a weak smile. Still not quite awake.

"Morning." You said, your voice sounding like you had attempted to swallow glass, and burning with every syllable.

Jensen's eyes shot open immediately. Sitting up he started to look you over, putting his hand on your forehead, checking you for a fever.

"Sweetheart your burning up!" He said. Ripping the thick comforter from your body, leaving just the sheet. You whined in protest, but he was already on his feet. Fetching a glass of water and a few Ibuprofen for your.

You took the pills and attempted to swallow as much of the water as you could, but it just didn't want to go down smooth. Sending you into a coughing fit that made your chest burn as well as your throat. Jensen sat there staring at you wide eyed. You could tell he was on the verge of panic.

Jensen was a natural worrier, he almost had a little bit of superman syndrome. Like he could save, protect, and do anything, and those things that were out of his control. Like sickness. It made him worry. Especially when it comes to you.

"Y/n we need to go to the hospital." Jensen said. Getting up and digging a pair of your yoga pants and a T-Shirt out of your shared dresser drawer. Throwing them on the bed at you. "Don't make me dress you and throw you over my shoulder to carry you out of her, because you know I'll do it." He threatened. Eyes narrowed and arms crossed. Watching you closely.

You knew he'd do it, so even though you'd rather die than go to the doctor you dressed yourself as best as you could. Not even really bothering to brush your hair. Just throwing it into a messy bun.

You looked horrible, but you felt horrible. So you didn't care too much.

"Jensen there really isn't a point in going to the doctor. It's just a cold, I'll be fine." You complained as he grabbed you by the hand and hurriedly drug you out to the car. He didn't speak until you were seated in the car, and he was backing it down the driveway.

"Your sick y/n, you need to go to the doctor so they can check you. What if you have pneumonia or something." He said. His voice was tense, and you knew he was overreacting. Even if it didn't always show visibly on Jensen. He was worried.

"Jensen what if they want to hook me up to an IV or give me a shot, you know how I feel about needles." You protested. Your insides starting to shake, and you couldn't tell if it was the fever or fear. You really had always hated needles, even though your ears, belly button, and nose and a piercing, and you had a few small tattoos. Something about a doctor and a needle scared the hell out of you.

"Then I'll be right there to hold you." Jensen said, his eyes softening a little when he looked at you this time before diverting his eyes back to the road. He knew how much you hated needles, shots, and doctors.

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After what felt like an eternity in the waiting area with at least a hundred other people who looked just as bad as you probably did and felt. They called you back and took your information. You sat there on the crinkly paper in a cold sterilized room Jensen sitting next to you, one of his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

He never left your side. Through the paperwork, through the blood pressure checks, through the temperature checks, through the chest x-rays. He was right next to you like he promised he'd be. Now it was just a matter of waiting for the doctor to come back in with his diagnosis.

"Jay this is ridiculous. I want to go home." You tell him. Burning your face into his shoulder. Wanting nothing more than to disappear from this horrible place before the doctor returned to do god knows what to you.

"It's all gonna be fine, they will give you some meds to help you feel better. Then we can go home, watch shit TV, and cuddle until you feel better." He promised. The thought of spending the rest of the day wrapped up with Jensen in your warm bed didn't sound half bad at all, but it wasn't enough to keep your mind from worrying that they were going to come in with a shot of some sort.

Before you could get a word out the doctor came into the room. Looking over a chart. A nurse with him.

"Okay Mrs. Ackles. It looks like you have the influenza type A. So we're going to give you some Tamiflu to help with that, you also have a pretty high fever. So you will need to alternate tylenol and motrin every three hours. When it comes to fever it's best to stay on top of it before it gets bad. Makes it easier to control. Stay in bed, no physical activities for at least a week." The doctor cleared his throat and closed your chart.

"Now lastly we're going to give you a steroid shot to try and stave off any pneumonia that might try to develop. If you start coughing more, feeling short of breath, or your chest starts to feel tight or too heavy, come back in. We may have to do it again. I've seen us have to do it as many as once a day for three days for some people That's not the case for everyone though, so don't think that you have to come in every three days. Once may be enough." He said. His nurse prepping your upper arm already as he was talking. Getting ready to stab you with the shot.

"Jensen..." You said. Tears already starting to make their way down your checks.

Jensen pulled your head tight to his shoulder, and held on to you as tight as he could. Almost crushing you. "Look sweetheart, just look at me. It will be quick." He said, tilting your chin up to look at him.

You had never wanted to die so much in your entire life, If you had to do this for three days, this very well might kill you.

---------------------------------

Once you had gotten your prescription form the pharmacy, and were back home Jensen tucked you into bed. Insisting you take a nap while he prepares lunch. Tried to tell him you'd rather just cuddle with him, but insisted.

When he brought the lunch into you, you hadn't been able to doze off at all. Everything was just cold and uncomfortable. The steroid shot was probably working on you too, so you were miserable, and wide awake.

You didn't realize how sick your stomach was unil Jensen entered the room with the chicken noodle soup in a bowl on the tray though. You turned your head away from the assaulting smell as Jensen sat the tray down next to you on the bed.

"Baby you need to eat something. You haven't eaten all day." He said, watching you turn away from the food he'd sat down in front of you.

"I'm not hungry you mumbled." Pulling the covers over your head. Refusing to look at him.

"Y/n..." Jensen's voice warned, but you continued to ignore him.

"You know if you don't eat you will have to go back to the hospital and you will probably have more problems than just a shot." Jensen threatened and you gave him your best bitch fact.

"I'm sorry Jay, but I don't feel like eating. My stomach feels off, and if I eat it's probably just gonna come right back up." You protest. Jensen ran his hand down his face harshly.

"Y/N YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET BETTER IF YOU DON'T EAT, NOW STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD AND AT LEAST EAT A LITTLE BIT OF THIS FOOD!!!"

Jensen rarely ever yelled at you, you sat there for a moment eyes wide. Trying to not cry. Knew you could be difficult when you were sick, you were never the easiest patient, but you didn't know he thought you were acting like a child.

Rolling your sore body into a sitting position you tired to not cry as you picked up the tray of soup. Moving the spoon around the bowl. The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife as Jensen watched every move you made.

Finally he sighed and took the bowl from you. Setting it on the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed. Chewing on his lower lip.

"I'm sorry. You don't feel well and I shouldn't have yelled at you. We will try the food again later after you've rested some more. I'm just worried about you and wanted to get you feeling better as quickly as I could." Jensen said, moving closer to you and wrapping his strong arms around your body. Holding you close to him and nuzzling his face into your neck.

"I'm sorry Jay, I shouldn't have been acting like a child. I know I'm not the easiest patient in the world to take care of, and I know you're just trying to take care of me. I'll try not to be so difficult." You muttered, and Jensen laid the two of you down, picking up the controller and turning something random on netflix.

"I love you baby girl. I just want to see you feeling better again. I don't mean to be pushy and mean, you know I just worry. Now let's lay here and watch Netflix until we go to sleep. I won't push you again. I won't yell at you anymore either. You just tell me what you need, and I'll do my best to make you feel better, and take care of you okay?" Jensen asked. His eyes softened as he looked at you. The lines showing around his eyes more than they usually did. Telling you that he was just as tired as you were.

"I love you to Jay." You tell him as he gives you a peck on the forehead before tucking the covers around you tighter. Lacing his fingers with yours. Letting you snuggle back into his warmth as sleep finally started to take you. They said it could take up to a week before you started to feel better. This was going to be a long week.

You were thankful thought that even if he had to take you back once a day for three day, put up with you being grumpy and emotional like you tended to do when you got sick, or even just laid there being completely boring because it was all you could get your body to do just stare at the TV, you knew there was no place he'd rather be than right here. His arms wrapped around you. Holding you close.

Because even before you were sick he never ceased to tell you how much he loved you. How much he appreciated you, and how he'd always be there.

Jensen didn't take the vows he took on your wedding day light. When they said in sickness and in health he meant every word, and you didn't know what in the world you would do without your better half.

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Tag List:

@deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @alanegaming

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen x sick!reader #jensen ackles x sick!reader #jensen x reader #jensen x you #SPN fanfiction #SPN Fanfic #jensen ackles one shot #jensen ackles drabble #fanfiction #sick!reader #jawritter

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shy-violet-soul · 5 years ago

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Love in a time of COVID-19

Summary: Bucky won’t let anything get in the way of showing you he loves you & making you smile. Characters: Bucky Barnes x you; Steve Rogers; mentions of Clint Barton, Tony Stark, & Natasha Romanoff Ratings/Warnings: Character has Rheumatoid Arthritis, mentions of symptoms & treatments. Social-distanced-fluff of the highest concentration. Clint being weird & Bucky being goofball-y awesome. A/N: I saw the photo that inspired this on IG, and laughed so hard I just about cried. The marvelous OP graciously gave me permission to include it in my fic. You’ll find it at the bottom of the work. I thought we could all use some fluff in our lives these days!

I also have a friend with Rheumatoid Arthritis who is finding this time to be exceptionally difficult. Please support those in your circle who need some extra love right now.

Thank you @pinknerdpanda for beta-ing once again! All the social-distanced-hugs to you!

This work is a piece of fiction inspired by characters created by the MCU. Please do not copy/print elsewhere without my written permission

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He was convinced. People’d lost their damn minds.

Bucky had survived warzone trenches in Europe. Had lived through the Great Depression. And had never seen the level of human stupidity he’d witnessed the first few days of March 2020. It’s an airborne illness - why the hell were people buying 96 rolls of toilet paper at a whack? What were they gonna do, wrap it around their mouths and breathe through it?

The Avengers Tower was going through its own issues. Stark vowed to spend his self-isolation inside one of his suits; a good idea in theory until he realized he still had to pee. Steve kept expounding on the virtues of using the time to catch up on reports. Natasha spent her time snorting at the treasure trove of new social media memes while Clint thumbed his nose at the whole thing by licking every door knob he passed. Bucky was washing his hands more just because of that. Gross.

Yes, they were pretty well hooked up to do the shelter in place, social distance, whatever the hell they were calling this thing. Bucky couldn’t fault Tony (well, probably mostly Pepper) for the very streamlined system in place that kept the Tower stocked with all manner of essentials. And, the Stark Foundation was busily getting help where it needed to go while Bruce videoconferenced with Dr. Cho and Shuri on treatments and vaccines. They were good to go for the foreseeable future.

His only real worry was you.

Your rheumatoid arthritis made this whole thing much more dicey, and - if he was being honest - a frick ton scarier. The illness suppressed your immune system, which meant you had to be more proactive on a normal day with handwashing, etc. Throw in a virus with no vaccine and no treatment? ‘Proactive’ took on a whole new definition. Sanitizing surfaces and extra cleanliness efforts were easy to step up. But he knew how much you hated being cooped inside. It didn’t help that the humidity had climbed up into the 70-ish percent region. The heavy air, coupled with the bite of winter chill still hanging on to the calendar, had your already tender joints pitching all kinds of a fit.

Right now, you were curled up in your favorite spot - a well padded window seat overlooking Central Park. Bucky had switched on the fancy fake fireplace for you, had wrapped you in blankets and propped you with pillows. The light pouring in haloed a bright shine to your hair, which normally would have a smile on his face. But your wan face pulled a grimace from him instead. Your shoulders rose and fell with a sigh, and Bucky would have cheerly scrubbed every surface of the whole damn Tower to get you out and about and smiling again.

A knock on the door spun him on his heel, and Bucky stalked to the door. Everyone knew the protocol - no visitors allowed!

“What.” Not a question, but a cold, terse demand. Steve drew a deep breath as he measured the look being leveled at him. He’d faced firing tanks with less caution. His friend’s frown was fierce versus his blank murder stare. Bucky was mad but not in an assassinating mood.

“Buck, I’m not gonna stay. I just wanted to stop in and say hi.”

“I’ll tell her you said so.” The door swung closed in his face. Steve rolled his eyes, throwing his arms up in disgust.

“C’mon, man.”

“No.” Exasperated, Steve couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his mouth. You and Bucky were a match made in heaven. Eidetic brain with the memory of an elephant, you were hands down one of the best analysts he’d had the privilege of working with. You chased after clues relentlessly, bulldogged in your tenacity. Straight up bullheaded in your obstinacy, though.

If anyone could out-stubborn you, it was Bucky. Lord knows, he had enough experience chasing after a certain runt who couldn’t stay out of back alley brawls. Steve knew that, in odd moments, it still struck his friend that he didn’t need his help in the same ways. When Bucky’s muscle memory had him moving before his brain caught up if Steve coughed or sneezed. He could practically see the wheels turning as Bucky struggled to stitch together broken memories with current moments. A natural protector, Bucky needed someone to nurture. To cajole and wheedle and, if necessary, out-stubborn. You fit the bill to a tee.

“I don’t have coronavirus, Bucky!”

The door snatched back open. “Oh, yeah? And how do you know that?”

“I can’t get sick. Serum, remember?”

Bucky glared at him through squinted eyes before stepping back into the apartment.

“Carrier,” he hissed, slamming the door again.

“Was that Steve?” Fatigue even hung heavy in your voice, the faintest gravel in the back of your throat threading a husk into your words. Bucky winced with you when you shifted in your seat, struggling painfully to stand.

“Yeah. Now I’m gonna have to wipe off the door knob again,” he groused as he briskly rubbed sanitizer over his hands. “Clint’s such a dumb ass.”

You snorted softly as you padded towards him. “I know. Who licks door knobs to prove a point?”

Taking in your stiff posture, Bucky leaned in close and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Why’d you get up? What do you need? I’ll get it,” he murmured into your hair. Your sigh huffed softly against his chest as you gratefully leaned against him, glancing at the clock in the kitchen.

“I should probably take another dose of ibuprofen,” the words mumbled up, uncertain. The illness had dragged up new challenges - too many doses of the NSAID was ripping up your stomach. Steroids helped, too, but you couldn’t take too many rounds too close together, and you’d already taken one prescription a month ago when the wet winter had your shoulders and wrists feeling like they were grinding straight through to your bone marrow. Pepper and your doctor were trying to get a DMARD approved through insurance, but with all this new virus ‘fit hitting the shan’, the insurance company backlog was sky high. That left you with balancing growing joint discomfort against growing stomach unhappiness. Thank God for ice packs and Tony’s ridiculously over-the-top whirlpool baths.

Bucky held in his own sigh as he pondered your situation. “Let me make you some of that chamomile tea and some toast to go with it.”

He didn’t think it possible, but your shoulders sagged even more. “I’m really not hungry, Buck.”

Threading his fingers through your hair, he gently rubbed the back of your head the way you liked.

“I’ll make it with that raspberry rutabaga jam on it. You want that?”

The catch in your throat grew to a fist-sized lump fit to choke you. The throbbing in your shoulders and arms radiated in time with your heartbeat up into your brain. Your knees felt weird - rubbery, tender, like you weren’t sure they’d support you. You missed your job, you missed your friends, you missed outside. As much as you adored Bucky, you were lonely for the other pieces of your life. The misery in your heart swelled to mammoth proportions, and you couldn’t choke back the sob that broke from you.

“I want -”

Bucky’s gut pinched so hard it hurt when you started crying. “What, love? What do you want? Anything, I’ll get it for you.”

Crying just made everything hurt more, and you swallowed hard to shove down the tears, anxiety, and stress. You glanced up, seeing the stress that pulled tight lines into Bucky’s face. You tried to offer him a smile and knew you failed pathetically.

“Rhubarb, hun. It’s raspberry rhubarb jam.”

Bucky saw you trying, knew you were trying to make him feel better, and wanted to cry himself. He’d do anything to bring back your smile.

“Rutabaga, rhubarb, whatever. You go sit, I’ll bring it out to you with the ibuprofen.”

You shook your head as you stepped away from his urging embrace. “No, I need to move around a little.” Neither of you spoke as you moved to the kitchen, content in the quiet puttering as Bucky filled the kettle and popped bread in the toaster. Out of habit, he went to wash his hands when an idea hit him.

Staring blankly out the window, your thoughts drifted to your ‘to be read’ pile as you tried to decide between starting a new book from your oft-ignored stack or comfort yourself with a lovely reread. You were so lost in your musings, you didn’t track on the activity behind you.

“Babe, can you grab the butter and jam? I’m washing my hands.”

You turned around to step to the fridge, stopped in your tracks at the sight before you, and burst out laughing.

Bucky had taken off his metal arm and put it in the dishwasher.

Hilarity pealed from you in waves, folding you over as you leaned against the counter. You tried to catch your breath and glanced up at Bucky. The proud-as-punch smile on his face set you off again, laughing so hard your shoulders twinged at you.

When a snort broke into your snickers, Bucky couldn’t help but laugh with you. Giddiness swirled with relief at your delight, and he felt prouder in that moment that he did receiving his U.S. Army Expert Marksmanship medal in ‘42. He knew he couldn’t carry your burden for you, but in this moment, he’d lightened it a bit. Moving in close, he gathered you to his chest with his other arm, relishing the feel of your giggles against him. You gasped for breath as you wiped the tears from eyes, then reached up to cup his face in your hands, smiling fondly into his twinkling gaze.

“I love you, you giant goofball. Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

Bucky leaned down and kissed the tip of your nose.

“Gotta take care of my best girl.” Giving you the gentlest of squeezes, he then urged you back to your cozy nest. “Go sit. I’ll bring it all out in a few.”

Still grinning, you headed for your phone. “First, I gotta get my phone. This is going on Twitter!”

#shy vy writes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #rheumatoid arthritis #RA #steve rogers #love in a time of COVID-19 #covid19 #coronavirus

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acedesigns · 5 years ago

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Back Pain [Final Fantasy VII: Reno/Reader]

Word Count: 765

A/N: Guess who might have to get back surgery if I’m not healed by tomorrow! Fuck. My. Life.

The doorbell rang. Groaning, you took out your phone to check the cameras showing the entryway to your home. With a few swipes of your finger, you caught a glance at who was patiently waiting there.

“Yo, Reno,” you spoke into your phone.

The said redhead jumped and looked around before his eyes landed on the cameras. “Yo yourself,” he said and moved closer to the camera. “Haven’t seen ya at work lately. Everything alright?”

“I hurt my back and can’t walk,” you grumbled. As you moved to sit further up from your laying position on the couch, you held in a scream. Sharp sparks of pain erupted from your lower back and ran up and down your right leg.

“Do you need anything?” Reno shuffled from one foot to the other.

“Actually, yeah,” you replied and laid back down on the couch. “Do you still have my key?”

Reno awkwardly patted himself. His jacket, his pants, before going back to his pockets and pulled out a key ring. He flipped through the few keys he had before showing yours to the camera with a grin. He inserted the key to your door and slowly opened it.

“Yo, [Y/N]? Where you at?” Reno hollered and shut the door behind him.

“Right here,” you spoke while watching him from the couch. It was just to the right of the entryway.

Reno looked over and grinned. “What do you need?”

Your arm flopped over to the coffee table and lifted an empty glass. “I ran out of water, could you get me some more?”

“Is that…” Reno paused and took the glass. “Is that all you need?”

You chewed on your bottom lip for a moment, thinking. “I’m also hungry. I have some leftover pizza in the fridge.”

“Got it.”

You stared up at the ceiling, trying to not focus on the pain. It was almost impossibly with it sparking every couple of minutes. It didn’t help that you had a countdown for when you needed to get better or look into getting surgery. Two days. Just two days. You weren’t feeling any better from when you left the ER. No, maybe you were feeling worse. You threw up everything when you got home in a drugged dazed.

“Here you go!” Reno sounded and placed your cup and a plate of warmed-up pizza.

You slowly moved to sit up. “Shit!” you whimpered at the tsunami of pain.

“Careful!” Reno hesitantly put his hands on your shoulders, not quite sure what to do.

You inhaled sharply and exhaled, mimicking those giving birth. Finally, you were in a somewhat upright position. The only thing was you were leaning on your left side to avoid putting pressure on your right leg.

“The hell did you do?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed before taking a bite of the pizza. You swallowed. “Doctor says it could just be inflamed and putting pressure on the nerve. Or I could have herniated a disc.”

“The fuck, [Y/N].”

You gave a tired look towards Reno. “Not like I did it on purpose.”

Reno carefully sat to your left so as to not cause a major weight change on the couch and make things worse. With a huff, you leaned into him, taking even more pressure off of your spine. Reno tensed up and watched you out of the corner of his eye.

“I haven’t been able to leave the house besides to go to the hospital for days,” you complained and took another bite. “I was starting to forget what people looked like.”

“You could always just turn on the TV or watch some videos online.”

“What real people look like.”

“You saying I’m not as pretty as them?” Reno chuckled.

“You’re plenty pretty,” you snorted out.

Reno coughed to the side, trying to ignore the slight heat that covered his cheeks. He then glanced at the mostly full pill bottles on the coffee table. “Are you actually taking your medications?”

“The steroid, I am,” you said and wrinkled your nose. “I’m immune to the stupid patch. One of them is just strong ibuprofen, so I am taking it off and on. And the other’s addictive, so I’m staying clear of it.”

“Are any of them working?”

You shuffled more into Reno. “No, they just make me tired.”

“Could be the pain doing that.”

“Mmm, maybe.” You sighed and closed your eyes. “Can you do me a favor?”

Reno looked down at you with a soft smile. He moved a strand of hair out of your face. “Anything.”

“Stay here for a while?”

“Of course.”

#Final Fantasy 7 #Final Fantasy VII #FF7 #FFVII #Reno #Reno Sinclair #Because everyone just agreed that that's his last name #Even though it's not canon #At least I'm pretty sure it's not #Fluff #X Reader #Reader Insert

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helloiamausacresfan · 4 years ago

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COVID often REALLY sucks.

Remember, every time you're not being COVID-smart, you risk yourself, your loved ones, your friends, and/or your neighbors having COVID comparably miserable (and expensive) to THIS (source is this Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/covidpositive/comments/k3znl3/my_experience_as_a_covid_spreader/):

"So I’m not the type to typically put it all out there, but here it goes. I have Covid. No reason to hide it. In case you’re curious here are my rough notes I’ve kept along the way.

Monday 11/16 notified that I was possibly exposed Thursday 11/12

Tuesday 11/17 tested positive with no symptoms

Thursday 11/19 body aches and loss of smell and taste

Monday 11/23 stomach issues and nausea

Pulse ox came in Monday 11/23 - ranging 93

Tuesday 11/24 headache 92-93 pulse ox 103 temp

Tuesday 11/24 - shivering nonstop

Wednesday 11/25 felt faint, dizzy, and nauseous but never threw up - headache still nonstop - stomach issues and not hungry 4 blankets to keep warm enough at night

Thursday 11/26 woke up at midnight couldn’t breathe and chest hurting. Went to the hospital at 1am. Blood work and chest scans. No pneumonia or blood clots and oxygen low but ok for Covid. Sent home at 5am Non stop coughing once left hospital feel like I coughed so hard I bruised ribs. Ate a little thanksgiving dinner (most I’d eaten in 3 days)

Thursday 11/26 evening started doing lincolns albuterol/steroid breathing treatments Headache continues

Friday 11/27 worst headache - nebulizer, Tylenol 3, ibuprofen 800mg, immetrex, nothing helps Vomited a few times O2 levels 82-84 - Dr advised to go back to ER Resolute this time around. Started me on oxygen right away and said I was being admitted.

8pm Friday 11/27 Vomited so forcefully that I peed myself while in the ER- not my finest moment Antibiotics, steroids, vitamin d, C, zinc, antacid, Advil, Tylenol, stomach shot to prevent blood clots, drip antibiotics in IV.

Saturday morning 11/28 at 2:45ish first round of convalescent plasma therapy ate a few bites of breakfast and immediately regretted it with stomach ache Stomach ache after eating a tiny bit or lunch also but did ok with dinner

Saturday afternoon first round of 5 of Remdesivir IV push of something to try and help more with headache. Brought it from a 10 down to a 5 after 4+ days of a 10+ headache Nearly every time I cough, I pee. Thank you motherhood. Which makes my breathing tube exercises a real pleasure.

Insomnia has been unreal during this whole experience.

Don’t remember the last time I slept decent.

Headache still hanging around between a 4-6 and annoying.

Sunday 11/29 Oxygen set to 4 liters and O2 u/94 Antibiotics, steroids, vitamin d, C, zinc, antacid, Advil, Tylenol, stomach shot to prevent blood clots, drip antibiotics in IV. Stomach issues after eating breakfast

Headache is substantially better today. Was able to eat better and not have as many stomach issues after doing so.

Round 2 of Remdesivir went well. Headache began to return some in the evening.

Slept from midnight-5:30

I am doing better, but time will tell."

Please spread this far and wide as a reminder for everyone to stay vigilant.

#covid #covid19 #coronavirus

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jackryanfanfic · 5 years ago

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I, His Isthmus | Chapter Three

Pairing | Jack Ryan x Cathy Muller

Genre | H/C, Angst, Friendship, Romance

Warnings | Blood, PTSD, Nightmares, Medical procedures

Word Count | 2K+

Rating | T

Summary: The Conclusion. Jack and Cathy come to an understanding, and Greer is generally awesome. Cue angst, nightmares, h/c, and *gasp* fluff.

Cathy sat in her chair between the two beds, her face resting in her palm as she gazed, lost in thought, at Jack's too-pale face.

"Doctor Muller, I presume."

Cathy jumped at the raspy voice, head swiveling in confusion before her eyes landed on the sleep-glazed ones of James Greer.

"Fancy meeting you here," he added.

Cathy blinked, the corner of her mouth quirking up. She did not know Greer well, but in the time that she had, she had not known him to joke. "Jim. It's good to see you awake, sir."

He grimaced, shifting. "I wish I could say it's good to be awake. How long have I been out?"

"I don't know." She stretched. "I've been here since...Mhm, eight-thirty. It's almost three o'clock, now, and you've been unconscious the whole time." She stood, rummaging through her purse until she found a small, orange prescription bottle.

"Is he okay?"

Cathy looked up. Greer's eyes were on Jack, his face displaying more alarm than she had heard in his voice. She tucked the smile away inside of her. "He will be. We'll give him a few more hours, then we'll see if we can get some Gatorade into him." She gave a chagrin-filled smile. "He'll be running around chasing terrorists before you can say "slow down, Jack."

Greer chuckled. "Sounds about right."

"Yeah," she said softly, eyes on the man in question. She shook herself. "Speaking of Gatorade," she said, grabbing a bottle out of the mini-fridge and breaking the seal, "do you think you can drink some of this for me?"

When he nodded, she reached for the extra pillows on Jack's bed and helped Greer to sit up against them. She held the bottle steady while he took a few long draughts.

"Better?"

He nodded. "Thanks."

"Can you swallow these?" She shook three small tablets from the prescription bottle.

"What are they?"

"Think of it as Ibuprofen on steroids. You'll want some."

He took them, and after a few tries, did manage to get them down. Cathy took the Gatorade and set it on the nightstand. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got shot," he deadpanned.

Her eyebrow arched. "You figure that out on your own?"

"Sorry. Uh...Weak."

She nodded. "That's to be expected. You were down a lot of blood."

"'Were?'"

"Well, it'll still be a while before your count is back where it should be, but fortunately, there was a donor in the area to speed up the process."

Greer's eyes followed her own to land on Jack.

"He saved your life," she said softly.

He nodded, eyes still on his sleeping partner. "Not the first time."

She swallowed, trying to find words to voice the question on her heart. "Are you--do you two...uhm." She felt Greer's gaze on her, but she couldn't bring herself to meet it. "Are you close?" She gave an internal facepalm and hoped the dim lighting would hide the way she flushed. Well. That didn't come out right. When at last she summoned the courage to look at him, she found him watching her with an amused smirk, which she had expected. What surprised her was the softness in his eyes.

"I watch his back, Cathy."

Relief flooded her, and she nodded, attempting a smile.

"I mean, someone has to," he went on. "That boy has more talent for finding--or creating--trouble than anyone I've ever met."

She chuckled, and was about to respond when Greer's eyes switched to Jack, and he tensed as if about to rise, gasped, paled, and fell back into the pillows with a curse.

Jack stirred restlessly in his sleep, brow furrowed beneath a sheen of sweat. With a strangled cry, he flung out an arm as if to catch something.

Cathy found herself on the edge of the bed, her left hand cradled below his ear, thumb rubbing across his cheek as her right caught the hand that was now clutching at air. "Jack. Hey, you're okay. You're safe." His face turned deeper into her touch, and she was positive her heart had suddenly become liquescent, despite her Ph.D.'s worth of medical knowledge which suggested otherwise. "You're okay, you're okay." Greer's presence was the only reason she caught the I'm here before it passed her lips. "Shh, shh."

Jack let out a shuddering gasp before his breaths evened out and he quieted, his face becoming heavy in her palm. She resisted the urge to press a kiss to his forehead, settling instead for giving his shoulder a final squeeze before she turned, shifting to sit more squarely on the bed. She met Greer's eyes only briefly before her gaze fell on her loafers.

"He, uh, he does that sometimes." Greer's voice was low.

She nodded.

They sat in silence until Greer, too, drifted to sleep, and Cathy was alone once more.

Cathy was dozing when Jack released a long, shuddering sigh and began to stir. She sat up a little straighter, pressing a hand to the small of her back. Light filtered through the windows and cast a cool haze in the room.

Jack swallowed and opened his eyes, blinking at her blearily.

"Hey." She smiled.

"Hey. You're still here." He rubbed a hand over his face and looked over at Greer. "'S he okay?"

Cathy nodded. "I expect a full recovery. He was awake for a little while earlier, and feeling well enough to complain about your penchant for finding trouble."

Jack huffed. "Really? Yeah, well, this particular mess is as much his fault as mine." He gave the room a quick sweep before his gaze landed back on Cathy. "What time is it?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "My phone died a bit ago."

He sat up, frowning when his left sleeve dangled behind him. His eyes fell on the neat bandage on his arm, and he stretched, wincing, bending and straightening the limb a few times before struggling back into his sleeve. "Thanks."

Cathy waved it aside. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

She felt her eyebrows climb to an impossible height as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Really?"

Jack chuckled. "Fine. I feel like crap."

"Now that I believe." She retrieved the second bottle of Gatorade from the fridge and held it out to him. "This will help."

He unscrewed the cap and took a few sips, appraising her silently. Then his eyes widened and he swore. "You're still here! Don't you have work?"

She shook her head, working hard to control the muscles suddenly threatening to pull her lips into a smile. "I think, uh, I think I'm coming down with a cold."

"Oh." Then softly, "Thank you, Cathy."

The smile won. "I needed a day off anyway." She shifted her feet as a flutter of anxiety rose in her. "Hey, um...Can we talk?"

"Uh--yeah. Yeah."

Returning to her chair, Cathy crossed her arms and studied a pattern of stains on the carpet as she gathered her thoughts. Jack's gaze burned on her, making it impossible to focus. She swallowed.

"Cathy."

She looked up.

"What's wrong, Cath?" His voice was gentle, eyes clouded with concern, and before she knew what she was doing, she had moved to sit next to him on the bed. The guilt came flooding back, and a lump rose in her throat. She slid her hand into his larger one. It stiffened for a split second before it closed, warm and firm around her fingers.

They sat like that for a minute or two, Cathy staring at the floor and Jack gazing at Cathy, before she spoke. "I think...I think I've been lying." She shook her head. "I know I have. To myself. And to you, too, really. I uh...I told you I left because I felt stuck, and we weren't working."

She sensed, more than saw, him nod beside her.

The words came slowly, each one taking more courage than she was sure she could muster. Her voice was high and thready, it's tone unfamiliar to her ears. "Well, that was true, um, to an extent. But mostly I left because I was scared. I was scared I might lose you, or that you might leave."

"Cathy--"

She held up a hand. "No, let me--this is really hard, so let me finish." She closed her eyes for a moment and rushed on, the words tumbling out in a confused torrent. "I loved you." She met his eyes. "I loved you like I have never loved anyone in all of my life, and it felt so good. I found this--this amazing thing that I'd never experienced before, and I was terrified. So I--I bolted. I bolted because I was afraid, and I am so sorry, but I think...I think I still love you, and I think I always will." She paused for another deep breath. "So, uh, what I'm trying to say is...If you're willing, I'd like to try again. Uh, you know, take it slow and see where it goes?"

She ventured to look up again. Jack's eyes twinkled, a soft smile playing at his mouth. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and whispered, "I love you, Cathy."

Cathy held her breath. "Is that a yes, or...?"

He laughed, nodding. "That's a yes."

She let out a very undignified sob of relief, tipping forward until her face was buried in his shoulder. She smiled, breathing deeply the scents of old spice, hotel soap, and Jack.

I missed you.

He ran a hand over her hair, and she felt a kiss pressed to the top of her head. "Definitely a yes," he whispered.

They sat there in blissful silence for a long moment before Cathy bit her lip, suddenly remembering something. "Hey, uh...Were you using that scar gel I left for you?"

He chuckled, and she felt his voice rumble in his chest as he answered. "I was. I didn't care so much about the scar, but it was all I had, um...of you. But it ran out. I like this better."

Guilt burned her throat again, and she squeezed her eyes closed. "I'm so sorry," she murmured.

"Don't be." He drew away until she met his eyes. "Cathy, don't be. It's a two-way street. I should have been more open with you, but I was afraid of scaring you away." He huffed. "I guess I managed to do that anyway." He glanced down and continued, his voice low. "I'm not used to...this. That chopper went down seven years ago, and I've been carrying the ghosts on my own ever since. The prospect of sharing them is--" he shook his head. "It's terrifying. And if I do open up that part of me to you, I'm, uh, I'm not sure you'll like what you find." His voice had grown so quiet, she had to strain to hear the last part.

She took his hand. "You shouldn't have to face them alone. I may have left out of fear, but I am not afraid of your demons, Jack."

A wet laugh escaped his lips. "Then you're braver than I am."

She shook her head, giggling almost giddily. "I'm terrified. But I think...If we face this together, and if we're honest with each other, I think we'll be okay."

Jack pulled her close. After a few minutes, his head came to rest on hers and his breaths grew slow and deep. He was asleep.

Cathy uttered a silent curse. The Gatorade still stood on the nightstand, nearly full.

Sometime in the midmorning, she had carefully peeled herself away from Jack to redress Greer's wound. Cutting away the blood-stained gauze, she glanced up to find him watching her intently.

"You're good for him, you know."

She felt her face redden, grateful for the work that gave her an excuse to look away. Had he heard their conversation?

"I'm a light sleeper," he said, as though she had spoken out loud.

She was certain her face was now approximately the color of a very ripe tomato. Unsure what to say, she opted for silence.

"Don't worry. I'm not one to get mixed up in people's business. I just thought you should know."

She looked at him for a moment and nodded. "I, uh...thanks." She began to wrap fresh gauze around the wound, eyes on her work but her focus elsewhere. "Take care of him?"

"I will."

Hours later, as the warm glow of the setting sun lit the small room, Cathy packed up her things and prepared to go. She had shown Jack how to continue to care for Greer's wound (and his own) to avoid infection. The shopping bag she had filled with extra gauze, antiseptic, pain killers, iron tablets, and other supplies, now sat beneath the window with Jack's bag.

She hefted her purse, now much lighter, smiling briskly as she glanced between the two men before her. "Well, I'd better be going."

"Thank you for this, Cathy," Greer offered earnestly.

She nodded, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Of course. If you need anything, you know where to find me." She turned to go.

"Here," Jack blurted, reaching for her purse, "I'll walk you downstairs."

"Alright," she smiled.

She lifted her hand in goodbye to Greer, and the door screeched closed behind them.

In the hall, on its stained carpet of mustard yellow, Jack and Cathy stood in silence, searching each other's eyes.

"I'd uh, I'd walk you to your car," Jack said after a moment, "but under the circumstances..."

"I know." She hesitated. "So, when this is all over...Coffee?"

"Yes! Um, absolutely."

"Okay then. It's a date." She savored the glimpse of him grinning like an idiot as she turned to descend the stairs.

The reek of cigar smoke, both fresh and stale, cloyed at her senses as she stepped into the lobby. The receptionist never looked up as they passed before him.

At the door, Cathy halted and looked up into Jack's face. His eyes were on her, intent and searching, as though he were trying to come to a decision.

"So, uh, I guess this is it," she offered.

Moving suddenly, Jack set her purse on the floor, stepped forward, and swept her up in what could only be described as a bear hug. Strong arms wrapped tightly around her, one hand splayed across her back as the other fisted in her hair. Her own arms slipped over his shoulders and he buried his face in her neck.

It was a long moment before he pulled away, looking at his shoes. "Cathy," he spoke softly, tentatively meeting her eyes. "I don't know how long it will be before that date. It, uh...It might be a while."

"I'll be waiting." On an impulse, she stood on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Bye, Jack." She slung her purse over her shoulder and stepped out into the chill wind, her smile out-shining the golden hour sun.

---------------------------

Isthmus [ismus] (n) -- the strip of land that connects a peninsula to the mainland.

A/N: And that’s my story, folks. Sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter up. Romance isn’t usually something I write, so I wasn’t super comfortable with this chapter. I’d love to hear your thoughts! And if you’re a veteran writer of romance--hit me up with your tips and tricks! I’m beggin’ ya.

Previous chapters linked below, as always. :)

Friendly reminder that my askbox is open for prompts/requests!

Stay safe, stay well, kids. You matter and I love you. Author out.

Prologue:

https://jackryanfanfic.tumblr.com/post/611939538664882176/pairing-jack-ryan-x-cathy-muller-genre-hc

Chapter One:

https://jackryanfanfic.tumblr.com/post/612751574766321664/i-his-isthmus-chapter-one

Chapter Two:

https://jackryanfanfic.tumblr.com/post/613915224437833728/i-his-isthmus-chapter-two

#Jack Ryan #jack ryan fanfic #fanfic #John Krasinski #fanfiction #fanfic community #fanfiction community #cathy muller #jack/cathy #jack/greer friendship #angst #h/c #emotional h/c #romance

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thegoldenlily3 · 5 years ago

Text

Part 1of 2

Trigger warning! Graphic photos in this post.

4-6-17 In the very first photo, I have a horrible tooth ache and had no idea the pain and agony it was going to bring. It ultimately changed my life and for a very long time it was changed for the worse. In the photos following, you’ll see me change and look like death and then recover. You’ll see me living life to the fullest but behind closed doors or under my shirt rather, you’ll see how much I’ve had to overcome. This is my story.

On October 30th 2013, I had a colonoscopy and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis(UC) which is a chronic inflammatory bowel disease(IBD) and an autoimmune disease. I was prescribed Canasa suppositories and my symptoms when away for about a year or so and then came back. I had to get a new Gastroenterologist doctor because my previous one had retired. He wasn’t much help anyway. My new GI doctor was amazing and caring and she saved my life. She prescribed me Lialda(NSAID) and Uceris(steroid).

At the end of March 2017, I had horrible tooth pain and called my dentist and they prescribed me Tramadol and Augmentin. The Tramadol made me sick so I called and had them switch the med and they gave me Clindamycin and that made me sick too. They gave me Hydrocodone and that also made me sick so they just had me taking Ibuprofen and Augmentin. I started to have a bad reaction to the Augmentin and got sores all in my throat and mouth and was throwing up and had severe diarrhea. I finished the antibiotic but went to the er because of the pain in my mouth and the vomiting. Mary’s magic mouthwash was prescribed to me to help with the sores and also nausea meds. The only time I was able to get any sleep was when this mouthwash numbed my mouth and throat. For weeks, I was unable to eat or drink anything nor was I able to take my UC meds and my heart rate was high. I went to the er multiple times during this whole ordeal because I couldn’t stop throwing up and all they would do is give me fluids and nausea meds then send me home. I went to an er and waited for 3 hours all the while throwing up with no end in sight and ended up leaving to go to a different hospital. On April 15th, I was pacing the house back and forth because I was miserable and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to go to the er yet again for them to just send me right back home. I remember I was pacing by the front door and my husband Issaac went to check the mail. I watched him and then started to say his name over and over because I felt like something was really wrong. Next thing I remember is Issaac kneeling over me and having shoes stabbing me in the back. I had passed out and my eyes were open the whole time but I was unresponsive. Issaac had ran in and thought I was dead. He called 911 and they wouldn’t answer. He used my finger to unlock my phone and dialed 911 and had both phones ringing and finally got an answer. (Fun fact for iPhones: if you press the big button on the side it will call 911 and they can track your location. Dialing 911 will not allow them to track your location.) The ambulance took me to the er and they did 2 EKG’s, CT scan(only after Issaac asked them to because I hit my head when I fell.), chest X-ray, and blood work. I was also tested for CDiff many times but it was always negative. Again, I was given fluids and sent home. They said it was normal for a lot of people to live with an elevated heart rate so they weren’t concerned. A couple days later I went to my primary care doctors office. My doctor was on maternity leave so I saw a different doctor. He did blood work and then wanted me to take depression meds. That was a hard NO! He said I wasn’t getting better because I was depressed about being sick. Yes, I was absolutely miserable and sad about it. BUT, there was something more going on. I wasn’t getting better and I knew it wasn’t my fault. I had to keep advocating for myself because I wasn’t getting help from any of these doctors I’ve seen. I think I went to the er again at some point and was sent home. Then they called me and said my potassium levels were too low and they didn’t think I’d be able to get down the prescribed potassium drink. So we went back to the er. Again. The er wouldn’t take the word of the doctor from another hospital so they did blood work again. We went to a different hospital because the wait at the previous one was way too long. So I received potassium through an iv and that is not comfortable. It burned as it went through my arm. I was also given Magnesium. I was sent home the next day.

Even though the sores were finally gone from my mouth, I was still struggling to swallow. I had my GI doctor schedule an upper Endoscopy which I had done on April 20th. My esophagus had no damage and there wasn’t anything stuck in there. While I was under anesthesia, my GI doctor did a Flexible Sigmoidoscopy. This a colonoscopy but only through a small portion of the colon. It was then that I finally, FINALLY after a month of being so sick that I was admitted to the hospital. My doctor said I looked like I was going to die. She said my colon was so severely inflamed that she couldn’t let me go home even though a patient being admitted after a procedure being done by her makes her look bad. She saved my life and I’m eternally grateful. I had 10 er visits and a scheduled dr visit and none of these doctors thought to have my colon checked knowing that I had UC and continued to show anemia in the blood tests they all ran. It all finally made sense. I wasn’t able to take my UC meds and I was taking 800mg of Ibuprofen for the tooth ache I had. This is what caused my UC to flare up. Why couldn’t 11 doctors put that together?

While I was in the hospital, I received 3 Iron infusions to raise my hemoglobin. I also had a speech therapist come in and she helped me with my throat issue. I was still struggling to swallow and she said that I was protecting my self subconsciously. She worked with me and I was finally able to swallow normally. I was so happy to finally eat a meal without a struggle. I was released 5 days later on April 25th even though I felt I should have stayed. The very next day I woke Issaac up because I was shivering and my teeth were rattling like crazy. My heart rate was 145. Issaac called 911 and we went to the er for the 11th time within a months time. I was put in the observation unit at Methodist which was in the basement because they didn’t have any rooms in the er available. I remember telling a nurse that I needed to go to the bathroom and I wasn’t allowed to get up on my own. She said ok and that she’d be back but when she got back, it was too late...She was gone for a long time. I at least was wearing a hospital gown. I was later put into constant care in the er. My heart rate had gone up to 180 and I was shivering and rattling teeth again. It was uncontrollable and the nurses looked at me like I was faking it. They hooked a heart monitor onto me and suddenly changed their tune because my heart rate was at 200. I believe they gave me aspirin and eventually I was transferred to another room where I waited for a permanent room because I was being admitted again. On April 28, I was admitted and I had another night of the shivering episode with my heart rate at 190. I’m trying to remember what this felt like but I can’t. I was so out of it and not even aware of my surroundings. It was on this day that our grass had been cut and it turned out to be our next door neighbor. We were very thankful for that.

A few days later, my heart rate was around 100 and my hemoglobin was much better. The diarrhea had slowed down so I wasn’t losing as much blood(because of UC) but I wasn’t eating either. I had iv fluids and they wanted me to drink Gatorade but my body was retaining fluids and I was swollen. That was a very weird experience. They did an Echo Cardiogram which turned out to be normal. My ejection fraction was 65% and 55% or above is considered normal. I know this is what they said but I don’t really know what that means. On April 30th, I received a blood transfusion because the retest of my hemoglobin showed 6.6 grams per deciliter and it should be for women between 12-15.5. A blood transfusion is scary. For the first 15 minutes, the nurse has to stay and watch me as I receive the blood to make sure I don’t have any adverse reactions and reject the blood. It turned out to be fine and I received at least a pint of blood. I feel I received another pint but I can’t remember. So I’ve been in the hospital for 10 days so far and I’ve been taking a steroid called Prednisone this whole time to treat my UC. I was also on morphine for the pain. I received physical therapy to help me walk but they were 3 days late. It turned out that there wasn’t an order for pt even though the doctors mentioned it every time they visited. On May 2nd, I was in severe pain and I went about 4 hours or longer without pain meds. The doctor was supposed to call them in and ended up leaving for the day without doing it. The next day, my bloodwork still showed inflammation so my colon wasn’t responding to the Prednisone. All the Prednisone did was make my head hurt sooo bad. I was taking Tylenol for it and it did nothing. My head hurt non stop for many days. I had warned them that Prednisone wouldn’t treat me right. I had taken it before and it made me so dizzy I had to have Issaac drive me home from work. This time it was just the severe head pain.

On May 5th 2017, I’m still in the hospital but I’m about to be released. For some reason my doctor was switched to a different doctor. This doctor decided to schedule for a colonoscopy. They gave me the bowel prep to drink with some clear Gatorade. This stuff was horrible. I’m supposed to drink it all within an hour and every minute of it sucked. I somehow managed to get it all down at the end of the hour. But then...I adjusted my body very slightly, and I threw it all up! I didn’t know it was coming and I had zero time to prepare for it. I just threw it all up all over my gown and in my gown and all over the blankets. I said to them, “I don’t understand why I have to do this. I have had severe diarrhea and I can’t even eat. There’s nothing in my stomach.” But they made me do the prep again... This time I drank it over the course of like 4 hours and managed to get it down without throwing up. I had the colonoscopy which they said went fine...I was still severely inflamed and they wanted to start me on a biological medicine called Humira and continue the steroids. During a colonoscopy, they insert a colonoscope into your bottom that transmits an image of the lining of the colon. The scope blows air to expand the colon so the doctor can see better. Well, after the procedure I was actually feeling alright but I had so much pressure in my belly and I felt like I needed to poop. I tried over and over to go on the toilet and it just wasn’t happening. But finally, it happened. And I was in bed...The nurses hadn’t been in for a long time and didn’t plan to be in for awhile. I was so embarrassed that I had Issaac clean me before they came in. Imagine a father changing a dirty diaper and gagging the whole time. This was Issaac and he kept running to the toilet afraid he was going to puke. To this day, we still laugh about it. It doesn’t matter how horrible the whole experience was, I can still laugh about it. Later that day, I was feeling a lot of pain and they had moved me to a different room with closer care. I remember this floor had some of the best nurses I’d ever had. Hospital policy was that a patient was to be bathed when changing floors. Issaac stood out in the hall as they transferred me from one bed to the other. This was an out of body experience and I can remember it so vividly. As they raised me off the bed, I started screaming in pain and continued to moan in pain after they transferred me to the new bed. I didn’t have any pain meds but I shouldn’t have been in pain. They were ordered not to give me pain meds because the doctor wanted me to be clear headed when they talked to me. I could tell the nurses felt so badly for me because of how much pain I was in. Issaac could hear me screaming down the hall. i was finally given multiple doses of morphine but it didn’t really touch the pain. I then had a CT scan done to see why I was in so much pain. The CT showed air outside of my colon which meant that the doctor had perforated my bowel during the colonoscopy. They started me on antibiotics and said a surgeon would be in to speak with me about possibly removing my entire colon. The surgeon came in and discussed my options. I either stuck with the antibiotics and steroids to see if I heal or I have the surgery. They said it was very unlikely that my colon would recover because there wasn’t any good colon left. I would have had to take a biological medicine for my UC which meant that my immune system would be even weaker and I wouldn’t be able to work in the Microbiology lab where I was currently employed. Even then, there was a slim chance of recovery. She said that even if I didn’t have a perforation, that this surgery was inevitable in my case. I cried and cried and cried. I asked her if I would still be able to have children and she said yes and that she would put extra tissue around my ovaries to protect them. A lot of people said I should get a second opinion but I wasn’t in that state of mind. All I could think about was being able to have children. I also did not want to be on medicine for the rest of my life.

On May 6th 2017, I decided to have the surgery. I had a total abdominal colectomy and an ileostomy surgery. My entire larger intestines was removed and they pulled my small intestines outside my stomach wall and created what’s called a stoma. The stoma is covered with a bag that has adhesive on it to stick to my skin. I essentially poop in a bag. I wish I remember more from this time. I can’t remember what it was like waking up to this. I do remember emptying my bag into the toilet though when I was finally able to walk. I couldn’t go alone though. I had to call the nurse every time I wanted to use the bathroom and there was an alarm on the bed if I tried to get up. One time I let it go off and went anyway because I had called them saying I need to go to the bathroom and they took too long. I don’t blame them. Each nurse had way too many patients to care for. At this point, my arms were completely black from all of the blood draws and IVs I received. Each nurse that came to draw my blood was so confident that they could get it even though I told them they wouldn’t be able to without the ultra sound machine. I had a nurse poke me 3 times and one of those times was in my thumb. Every time, they always had to call the team with the ultra sound to draw my blood. I had a Russian nurse for a few days and she was really hard to understand as her accent was strong. My issue with her was that she wouldn’t listen to me and would disagree with everything I said. I had been in the hospital for a few weeks so I knew what to do and I knew what my body could handle. I also had a male nurse who led me to ask my case manager if I could only have female nurses. I didn’t have a problem with the fact that he was a man. My problem was that he was too rough and he probably didn’t know it. I didn’t blame him for that but it was hurting me unnecessarily. He also forced me to walk to the bathroom on my own without help when I wasn’t supposed to be alone. I started taking walks with a walker through the halls after getting pt. Everyone who passed me cheered me on. It was extremely hard. They say every day you spend in bed is 3 days off of your life expectancy. I had been in bed for basically a month or so. After this surgery, I was on a morphine pump which I controlled and Oxycodone. The oxy kept me loopy. I was on 15 mg every dose. I hated taking it. I didn’t worry as much with the morphine as it didn’t really work for me. It helped give me relief for a few minutes but then faded. I pushed that pump button every time I was able to though. It was every 15 minutes. On May 12th, I finally went home.

Through the next couple of weeks, I had follow up appointments with my GI doctor and my surgeon. When I went to see my GI doctor, I told her about some pain I was having on my bottom. The pain from it made it very hard to walk or move or even sleep. She said it looked like an abscess but to confirm with my surgeon. So I went to see my surgeon and for some reason on that day I was pain free and happy so she didn’t think it was concerning. On May 26th I went to the er for the 12th time. I had a fever and was in so much pain. The er took me back immediately since I had just had surgery and they feared I was septic. It turned out to be an abscess and they took me into surgery to drain it. I was given anesthesia because of how much pain I was in. Thankfully I wasn’t septic and this turned out better than they originally thought. I guess since I was on steroids for so long, my body wasn’t able to fight off an infection so the abscess was very large and inflamed. I received another unit of blood and I still had a fever for a few days. The antibiotics were making me sick and I was really struggling to eat. Between the beginning of April and it now being the end of May, I had lost 30 pounds unintentionally. May 31 2017, I was released from the hospital for the third and final time.

Over the next few weeks, I was walking around the neighborhood and family and friends were coming to help care for me so Issaac could go back to work. I started to taper off the Oxy and that was not fun. I was taking such a high dose that I would nod off mid conversation. When I would wake, I would feel like I slept for hours when it was really only minutes and I would get upset because I was so tired and never really got rest. Even though I was high, I remember how I felt and the things I did. I remember trying to dance with Issaac in the kitchen when he was walking me through the house. I remember contacting people on fb that I hadn’t talked to in a long time. All I wanted to do was talk. I was oddly cheerful and accepted my situation. Anyone who really knows me knows that I am a half glass empty kind of person so this was unusual for me. I didn’t realize all of this until after I tapered off the oxy. My Dad was the only person who told me he was worried that when I came down, I would not feel the same. He knew that it wasn’t really me. I remember going to the ball park to watch a softball game with family and I ended up having to leave because I was in pain and I didn’t bring the Oxy with me. I started to cry because I was so embarrassed and sad that I wasn’t strong enough yet to be at one of my favorite places in the world. On June 18th, I was tapering and I had to have Issaac come home because I was feeling horrible and I couldn’t stop crying about it. I called him because I was home alone at this point because I could finally walk to the bathroom alone and make my own food. So I had to call in another order of Oxy to taper down slower because I was trying to go too fast and I was having withdrawal symptoms. I really don’t know why anyone would want to go through that. Eventually, I was completely off the Oxy and I was so happy to not have any withdrawal symptoms.

So Issaac went back to work after spending every single day with me in the hospital. I didn’t have short term disability because there was some confusion when we signed up for insurance together. I tried to appeal and it was denied Mid June, people from work hosted a bake sale at work to raise money for me. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I never felt that I had people in my life who cared enough to do something like this. Someone also created a go fund me page as well. I was overcome with shame, shock, and most importantly gratitude for such amazing acts of kindness. Issaac handed me the money that was raised and I just lost it. I was so emotional and just couldn’t believe that this was real life. I feel like this whole ordeal is something you hear about happening but never think that it’ll happen to you. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who contributed to raising money and helping me get better and for all of the continuous prayers during this time.

July 4th 2017, I finally returned to work. You can see through all of the photos around this time and the rest of the year that I was enjoying life the best I could. In October 2017, I started to have issues with my skin under my bag. This became an issue off and on for over a year. I had been using the same brand of products since surgery for a year and then all of a sudden I couldn’t use it anymore without having an allergic reaction. My skin would start weeping and oozing and was extremely itchy. It also burned badly which over powered the itchiness. Throughout the year of 2018 I struggled with this a lot but I still went on living. The photos I provided are to show how one day I’m very low spirited and the next day I’m blissful. And I was. I was very blessed to enjoy time with family and to go on vacation with Issaac to the Niagara Falls and to go Gen Con. Gen Con was really hard. There was so much walking and I was so weak and still hadn’t built muscles back up. If I stood on my tippy toes, I would fall over from the pain in my calves. Standing outside in the food truck lines was the worst. The heat was making me sweat and interfering with the adhesive of my ostomy bag. Little did I know that this incident would make my skin worse than it ever was before. The photos are a reminder to me of what I’ve overcome. I wanted to create a timeline and show myself how strong our bodies really are. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Part 2 will be posted soon.

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allenmendezsr · 5 years ago

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New! Proven Lupus Treatment By Dr Gary Levin M.d

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/new-proven-lupus-treatment-by-dr-gary-levin-m-d/

New! Proven Lupus Treatment By Dr Gary Levin M.d

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The inside story on Dr. Gary M. Levin’s remarkable Lupus Total Symptom Elimination. There is Hope! “Read on to discover what really causes your Lupus!”

Lupus is one of the most debilitating and discouraging conditions anyone can have. Waking up day after day with joint sores, knowing you are stricken with Lupus that may gradually drag you, a healthy young person, towards chronic illness like rheumatoid arthritis. Suddenly you no longer expect to enjoy many of life’s greatest experiences.

You probably don’t remember that day, the day you had your first joint pain and chose to ignore it thinking it would just go away. But later on, more joints started to feel sore and swelling and a rash began to appear. You felt fatigued and knew things were starting to get out of control. Then the day came when you heard your doctor speak the word “Lupus.”

You may have felt sadness, desperation, even panic… knowing full well your life would never be the same again. That time can be almost as difficult for your family and close friends as it is for you. I know, you suffer month after month and find you are losing hope of ever getting better.

That’s a very sad place for anyone to be. I know. I’ve been seeing patients for over 40 years.

My name is Dr. Gary M. Levin and I’m a retired M.D. and Surgeon in the U.S. For more than forty years, I took great pride in running my own clinic, as well as teaching and supervising resident doctors at a facility at Loma Linda Univ School of Medicine. I completely understand how incredibly scary, painful and discouraging Lupus symptoms are for millions of people just like you.

I have felt the pain of so many patients and their families. You take medications that may reduce asymptomatic acute attacks but they just don’t work when it comes to fully treating your Lupus condition.

It’s like your body is fighting an all-out war with a dangerous intruder that doesn’t exist. Your doctor may be putting on a brave face, but the truth is many physicians are just as frustrated as you are. They try every known cure, treatment and medically accepted idea — yet NOTHING really works because the real symptoms of Lupus are not treated!

How Dr. Gary M. Levin, M.D. Discovered a Natural EFFECTIVE Treatment for Lupus

In 1998, I had a heart ailment which required surgical intervention. While recovering in cardiac rehabilitation, I had the unexpected opportunity to work with a colleague who practiced allopathic and alternative medicine. I was very impressed with what I saw.

Having been trained in the sciences, I decided to dive deep into this approach, serve a two-year preceptorship and actually test natural remedies and alternative treatments for diseases.

It was here that I discovered powerful breakthroughs that would have profound impacts for Lupus patients. Here was the highly effective KEY to slowing deterioration, preventing attacks, and promoting regeneration.

The access that the public has to study archives and the ability to learn, understand and draw conclusions out of them is VERY limited (mainly because of the medical talk) not to mention getting updated with new ones and to know how to distinguish them. I can tell you there’s a lot of misinformation out there, which is the reason I use and teach ONLY TESTED and PROVEN methods based on serious, long term CLINICAL studies that I was able to verify myself. I wouldn’t risk doing anything else.

The healing process is carried out through a simple step-by-step method that rehabilitates your immune system and boosts your supporting body systems to rid it of all Lupus symptoms, the joint pains and swelling etc. PLUS re-energizes and purifies your body for maximum health.

To make a long story short – I have a natural method for reversing Lupus!

It is all natural which means it cannot be registered as a patent thus it cannot be marketed using the regular channels (drug industry-pharmacies etc.).

So, I am giving you the result of my own research, trial and error in one handy place with step-by-step instructions to help you reverse your lupus.

What are the results of my method?

Patient after patient left their years of Multiple Sclerosis symptoms behind, saying they are completely symptom-free. Others show a dramatic improvement. Even more exciting, to see how they are getting their old lives back. These FORMER Multiple Sclerosis patients have bright smiles, upbeat energy and even brighter futures — this time without having to worry and stress about the scary symptoms reoccurring because they followed the instructions I gave them.

You will see my patients’ video stories all over this page. They ARE actors because I understand people’s feelings and feel uncomfortable asking them to reveal their details in public. but what they say is coming from what REAL people are saying. These people from all over and from many different backgrounds tell — in their own words — exactly how my Treatment System eliminated the symptoms of their Lupus. Rather than resigning themselves to a shortened life of misery and pain, and little to look forward to, my patients now feel younger, have more energy and suddenly feel confident in setting exciting and ambitious goals for a long life.

Please keep in mind I will NEVER promote a fly-by-night miracle cure. I am a medical doctor with a lifetime of work in a traditional medical practice. I am not about to hang my reputation on magic pills or whatever else you see promoted on the Internet these days.

Download YOUR copy of the Lupus Step-By-Step Treatment System TODAY. This will include a Quick Start Guide PLUS an audio version of the Treatment System for JUST $47.99

Click Here, for limited time only $99.97 $47.99 My 100% No-Risk Guarantee to YOU: I realize you just met me and you may be a little hesitant to order. I don’t want anyone to continue suffering because they don’t feel comfortable ordering and that is why we chose Clickbank.com for handling the payments.

Buying online securely: They provide the highest level of online payment encryption and security and they are the #1 payment processor for downloadable products worldwide. In addition, Clickbank’s order form is secured, and constantly monitored, by McAfee & VeriSign. Payment can be done using PayPal or credit card. The order form is compatible with all mobile systems.

100% iron-clad, 2 month, No questions asked refund guarantee: Clickbank also takes the matter of customer refunds totally out of our hands. We don’t even get the money before the refund period ends. This means that for ANY reason, you can go directly to Clickbank.com to get a full refund. You won’t even need to contact us.

You literally have no risk. Let’s see a pharmacy or doctor top that! So please give my proven method a try. You’ll feel better for it. Yes, I want to finally get rid of my Lupus. Let me in!

What REALLY Causes Lupus?

We all know that Lupus is a chronic, autoimmune disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs inside the body). Normally our immune system should produce antibodies that protect the body from “invaders” (viruses, bacteria, and germs). “Autoimmune” means your immune system cannot tell the difference between foreign invaders and your body’s healthy tissues and creates antibodies that attack and destroy those healthy tissues in your body. These antibodies cause inflammation, pain and damage in various parts of your body.

Well, this may sound unusual, but if you think about it again you will come to the same conclusion as I did: “Lupus is just another symptom of the REAL disease you have”

So what is the real disease you suffer from?

Well, the simple answer is that you have an overactive immune system disease. Your immune system “freaks out” when it meets your joints and other healthy tissues and attacks them. The fact that you are diagnosed with Lupus is just because your immune system reacts in such a way as to create the Lupus symptoms. But you DON’T actually having the “Lupus” disease. You have an overactive or blinded immune system disease! What does this mean? This means you should be dealing with the REAL problem: Your “overactive immune system” is the problem we need to deal with. Taking drugs to kill the symptoms may temporarily help but they are NOT the real solution.

I used to give my patients Aspirin, Acetaminophen, known to most people as Tylenol®, NSAIDs like Ibuprofen (Motrin®), Naproxen (Naprosyn®), Indomethacin (Indocin®), Courses of steroid injections and Antimalarials, etc. but they offered no REAL help. They may have eased the symptoms but this is not the real solution and nobody claims it is.

The sad truth is that the strong toxic effect of all these drugs gradually poisons the whole body, which at the end of the day, only makes Lupus attacks and permanent damage worse!

How can we heal an overactive immune system?

The healing process is done by using a simple step-by-step method that rehabilitates your immune system and boosts supporting body systems to get rid of all symptoms (and types) of Lupus PLUS it re-energizes and purifies your body for maximum health.

In my step-by-step Treatment System, you’ll learn how my Directed Nutrition™ method plus a special vitamin regimen will significantly reduce your symptoms and eventually completely rid you of your current condition.

A lot of regular medications are based on medical herbs and combinations of extracted foods we eat everyday (I know of more then a 100) like the diuretic medications “Theobromine” & “Theophylline” that are made from cacao or the capillary fragility medications “Hesperidin” & “Rutin” that are made from a combination of citrus species and the famous medication “Codeine” (for general pain, cough and diarrhea relief) that is made from papaver and the list goes on and on… so there is no real reason that using my method will not do a great job healing you from your Lupus.

I followed this basic principle of pharmacology to find life-giving plants and herbs that could be the basis for reversing Lupus. This would not only give patients comfort and new hope, but give their bodies a way to build strength and coordination and promote a far stronger immune system.

How long will it take to achieve noticeable results?

It depends. The treatment protocol is built on layers of strategies for creating the healing process in your body. Each layer is aimed at one angle of the disease and since not everyone’s body is made the same and Lupus is a disease caused by several factors, some people respond quickly to the first strategies and some to the later ones. Therefore, it may take a few short weeks to several months to see major improvement.

What type of Lupus do you have?

MY method treats ALL types including: systemic lupus erythematosus, discoid lupus erythematosus and drug-induced lupus erythematosus.

Can I promise this method will cure your Lupus 100%?

Of course not. Nothing in life is 100% guaranteed. I KNOW my findings will help a lot of Lupus sufferers but I still cannot claim a 100% success rate. Why? In spite of the fact that natural medicine has a huge success rate as a whole and can solve problems that some conventional medicine cannot, it is not an exact science by medical definition.

Natural and alternative medicine works on the WHOLE body. It deals with “system healing”– not specific disease healing, which is why you can never find one exact formula fit to heal each and every person.

You have to understand that every human being has a different body, different blood type, different blood flow and different metabolism. Because each and every one of us eats different foods, we have different rates of digestion. Even our souls and spirits are different. All these variables influence the way the systems in our body work so the way we react to alternative methods cannot be predicted with the same accuracy as with conventional medicine. This is why alternative methods cannot be proven and tested at the same EXACT level as conventional treatments are tested.

This is true for each and EVERY alternative treatment on earth.

BUT…

When you find an alternative method that actually helps you, it will work better than any other conventional treatment.

Why?

You have to understand that we are not made of a combination of separate chemical “dots.” We are made out of a variety of different organic living systems that work in a marvelous synergy and that’s exactly what my methods are aimed at. We heal systems and don’t just try to silence symptoms by taking drugs to make chemical changes in the specific “dots” that trigger the symptoms. Since they deal with systems, dangerous side effects can occur when you change something in a complex system.

If someone led you to believe that side effects are “just side effects,” please note that they KILL more than 106,000 people in the US alone every year. Not to mention the 2 million that get sick enough to be forced to go to the hospital every year (RE1,RE2) (9% have been seriously harmed plus 54% need intervention(RE3) in the US alone every year.) Then there are all the people who just feel bad as a result of taking drugs but whose new symptoms are never identified or recorded.

Let’s look at the figures another way.

What is more likely – that you would die in a traffic accident or as the result of a visit to your doctor?

This would be funny if it wasn’t true. The correct answer is visiting your doctor! Traffic accidents cause 43,354 deaths every year in the US (RE4) as opposed to 106,000 that die from ADRs (adverse drug reaction) every year. (RE1,RE2)

Hard to believe? That’s right, I myself can’t comprehend it but numbers don’t lie. Today ADRs are the third leading cause of death!

The danger of passive smoking or illegal drugs is frequently aired in heath campaigns and outraged newspaper editorials, but ADRs – which exact a far greater toll of misery – very rarely trigger the same level of indignation.

If you were to ask most doctors about ADRs, they would give you one of the answers I used to give: The risks of any one person having a problem is pretty small or if a medication doesn’t have any side effect, it’s almost certainly not effective. Some would even say that thanks to a system of proper scientific trials and regulations, modern medicine by and large successfully balances the risks of drugs against undoubted benefits they offer.

Since I (and all my colleagues) were trained by the pharmaceutical model, I truly believed in it, despite the fact I just felt that most of my skills come from juggling a range of drugs for a particular problem so the patients suffer the fewest side effects, or knowing which drugs best alleviate the ADRs caused by the first drug…

With that approach, no wonder some of us, as doctors, feel as frustrated as our patients.

Just watch commercials on TV for mainstream drugs and you’ll see long, terrifying disclaimers about side effects. There is hardly a drug out there that doesn’t lead to shortness of breath, difficulty swallowing and sometimes death… and that’s just scraping the surface.

The beauty of ALL NATURAL treatments is that there are NO Side Effects. You won’t see a side effect disclaimer associated with my Lupus treatment because it WILL NOT make anyone sick. All Natural means you save money on costly prescription drugs and you avoid harsh side effects, all while receiving improved benefits fighting Lupus.

Remember this; alternative methods listen to your body and help heal itself from inside. They don’t have side effects because they deal with system healing and they use the original materials the body is built from.

With that said, I can say with confidence that you can have a future WITHOUT Lupus. A Lupus-free life is not an impossible dream. It can happen. My patients are living proof and so are the thousands of people who bought my ebook and successfully used this method!

Too good to be true? That’s what a few people who have visited my site have told me. I realize that it sounds a lot like the “get your body in sync with the universe” cures that are all over the Net. But before we throw the baby out with the bath water, please realize that there is a grain of truth here. Many chronic conditions can be cured or greatly improved with correct nutrition (which can VARY tremendously from one person to the next.)

As I said a lot of regular medications are based on medical herbs and combinations of extracted foods we eat everyday (I know of more then a 100) like the diuretic medications “Theobromine” & “Theophylline” that are made from cacao or the capillary fragility medications “Hesperidin” & “Rutin” that are made from a combination of citrus species and the famous medication “Codeine” (for general pain, cough and diarrhea relief) that is made from papaver and the list goes on and on… so there is no real reason that using my method will not do a great job healing you from your Lupus.

It’s not as simple as adding carrots and berries to your diet. I use a step-by-step Treatment System that is based on a deep knowledge of the human body and my personal research. Although I’ve retired and closed my clinic, my method for treating Lupus will go on just as strong as ever. I no longer meet with patients personally, but I am determined to continue to enable Lupus patients all over the world to play a successful, proactive role in their own Lupus treatment and symptom elimination by guiding them in the proper implementation of the practices that have proven successful time and time again for so many patients.

So I’ve written down my complete Method for Treating and Eliminating the Symptoms of Lupus in an EASY TO UNDERSTAND E-Book. You will never need to buy anything else from me to make this method work. You can download it and be reading within seconds.

There is no medical speak in my e-book. I keep it simple and easy-to-grasp just like I’m talking with one of my patients. You will learn how to pull your body’s chemical processes in line with a simple vitamin regimen and a nutrition method I found that works better than all the Lupus medicines combined and is available everywhere.

No more worrying about taking pills and/or injections on a daily basis or using other costly chemicals to take your Lupus away.

Download YOUR copy of my Lupus Step-By-Step Treatment System TODAY & I will include My Quick Start Guide and an audio version of my Treatment System for JUST $47.99 Download your copy NOW and let me help YOU on your way to recovery. You owe it to your family and your future. But mostly you owe a Lupus-FREE life to yourself. You deserve it.

You literally have no risk. Let’s see a pharmacy or doctor top that! So please give my proven method a try. You’ll feel better for it. Yes, I want to finally get rid of my Lupus. Let me in!

Hey, you don’t have to listen to me. Just read and watch the testimonials for yourself. As I said above, since I don’t feel comfortable asking people to reveal their details in public, I used actors. What they say is coming from what REAL people are saying.

Download YOUR copy of my Lupus Step-By-Step Treatment System TODAY & I will include My Quick Start Guide and an audio version of my Treatment System for JUST $47.99

Download your copy NOW and let me help YOU on your way to recovery. You owe it to your family and your future. But mostly you owe a Lupus-FREE life to yourself. You deserve it.

You literally have no risk. Let’s see a pharmacy or doctor top that! So please give my proven method a try. You’ll feel better for it. Yes, I want to finally get rid of my Lupus. Let me in!

Bonus 1

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Everything you need to know about guided relaxation is included in this special ebook ($27.99 value.):

Tools for relaxation. How guided relaxation can help you. How stress affects you. Yoga guide! Restful sleeping with guided relaxation. Imagery guided relaxation.

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How your teen’s self esteem is affected and how you can help.

You’ll also receive an audio recording of the entire guide. Because you’re busy, I know you might not have time to sit down and read this guide all at once. To make it easier on you, you can now listen to this recording in your car, on the way to work or on your iPod to take wherever you go.

Bonus 4

Your Guide to Healthy Eating

This is the ebook that will end the yo-yo diet nightmare once and for all and turn your weight loss and fitness dreaLupus into reality! You’ll learn how to: · Lose weight. · Improve your health. · Send your energy skyrocketing. · Stop your junk food cravings. · Think more clearly. · Sleep better. · Be far more productive in life! · Actual value $27.99.

Bonus 5

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Explains:

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Why getting just the right amount of sleep can help your metabolism grow strong, plus 6 tricks for getting to sleep on time!

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Download YOUR copy of my Lupus Step-By-Step Treatment System TODAY & I will include My Quick Start Guide and an audio version of my Treatment System for JUST $47.99

Download your copy NOW and let me help YOU on your way to recovery. You owe it to your family and your future. But mostly you owe a Lupus-FREE life to yourself. You deserve it. Yes, I want to finally get rid of my Lupus. Let me in! Click Here, for limited time only $99.97 $47.99

Yours,

Dr. Gary M Levin M.D.

10686-B Hazelhurst Dr. # 7693 Houston, TX 77043 USA Phone number: 1-713-866-4099

P.S.

Just a reminder:

This method is fully natural, simple and risk free. Anyone can use it.

I am here to help and support you until you succeed and completely get rid of your Lupus.

The download is instant and you can start putting my treatment system to work for you in just 5 minutes.

Your purchase is fully protected for 60 days by both Clickbank and myself.

Yes, I want to finally get rid of my Lupus condition. Let me in!

0 notes

jia-rowena-bena · 7 years ago

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Not so yay. The story

I'm gonna tell a story. As I sit here filled with frustration and a heck load of trepidation I'm gonna tell my story because.. I bet there's more like me. Too many in fact. Not that we can do anything about it.

So. The beginning.

As stated in my description, I was diagnosed with arthritis at two years old. I haven't known a life without it. I had tripped, fallen and had gotten a swollen knee. Suddenly, boom, this kid has a chronic illness. At age 2

The lull.

Meh. I haven't known anything else. That wasn't a big problem. At the beginning. Gave me a great excuse not to do PE. (Yay) Every now and then I would have to go in for a steroid injection from the age 7 up. No big deal. Only really active in my hand's feet and my left knee. Had the first few steroid injections while I was under anaesthetic. It became a normal thing. Ibuprofen was the go to. But it didn't work. My body was resistant to it.

Hmm.

Moved and got better doctors, went on to just having gas for the injections and got over that fun at 14. They then became more frequent and closer together. Went onto naproxen. I'm now in college and do not enjoy cycling in every day. But I'm trying to stay healthy.

Closer.

A few months ago my mum and I got more concerned. I had a swollen knees, it had moved to the right knee now too. Not a good sign. The doctors had been talking about more serious meds than naproxen for a while. Go in. Have a serious chat with my nurse. And doctor. I end up going onto sulphasalazine. Build up the dose to two 500 mg twice a day. I also have the appointment for an MRI of my jaw (I hate HATE MRIs)but whatever. Plus blood tests and contrast for the MRI within a week. Two needles same vein. Not fun. Bruised arm. During this time I had migraines. Nausea. And other not fun side effects. This lasts for a few months till it settles down. I'm finally getting on with life.

Now.

Nurse calls. MRI shows problems. My jaw is damaged. And the active arthritis is clearly shown. Yay. Not. For some reason, sulphasalazine does not help the jaw. Come back in. We'll try a different one. FFS. Side effects for nothing. Or so it seems. And my jaw still hurts. I'm now grumpy.

Today.

I had my appointment. To change the drugs up. Again. I'm now on methotrexate too. Oh yes, too. I get to have a cocktail of drugs. Why have just one right? So on top of the huge ass pills at all times of the day, I now have a needle in my leg once a week. By myself. Oh and folic acid. Can't forget the extra add-on. Didn't want it to feel left out. I had a blood test too. First the methotrexate in my thigh for the first time but now I get to have another on my arm and lose some blood. Oh and this is to happen every two weeks now, the blood test that is. So in a week I now take 36 tablets and one pain in the thigh needle plus blood tests. I'm so glad I'm a student in full-time education. I don't have to pay for meds yet. YET.

The time will come.

Now I have to wait and see if I get more fantabulous side effects from the methotrexate.

I'm now moody. I had a needle shoved in my leg and arm today and no good news to go with it. I treated myself to a Lucozade and a KFC.

Cause if I'm gonna feel like shit today, I might as well eat like shit.

Going to sleep now. Rants over. Thanks for reading. Or whatever.

25/10/17

Much love and support x

#jia #juvenile #juvenile idiopathic arthritis #idiopathic #arthritis #disability #mood #angry #frustrated #diary #story #confession #disabled #disabilties #methotrexate

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raybansandcoffee · 8 years ago

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Thank you for that reply! People often think I'm being a baby or lazy cause I just wanna sleep but in reality I can barely function my head hurts so bad. Its hard not to have energy to do basic things. Regular ibuprofen also never works -- I take it for cramps sometimes. Do you have any tips you don't mind sharing?

I’m happy to share some of the things that I do or have tried. I’ll share with you tips but if you want any details on the different treatments I’ve tried (botox, acupuncture, different pain injections, etc.) I’m happy to give you info on that too, just ask :). My neurologist is super non-traditional and has tried a lot of different things with me, not all of them have worked but he’s always willing to try which is incredibly helpful.

So my go-to tricks are usually from this list (it’s a big long so it is after the jump but because every migraineur is different I want to let you know why they work for me in case you have a different symptom - I’d hate for my suggestions to make a migraine worse):

- Dark cool room: I have had black out curtains which are AMAZING! They help keep the room cool which is always helpful to me. I have my air conditioning cranked right now because it’s been hot and humid here all week. We were in the midst of a heat wave which was NOT my friend. I have a lot of light sensitivity so I try to have the room as dark as possible. If I can’t get it dark I wear sunglasses if I need to function and see or a sleep mask if I don’t.

- Ice Packs: Some people say heat helps them, I find it does the opposite. Because migraines are technically a vascular headache the blood vessels leading to your brain expand, heat makes that worse. I have a variety of sizes from the kind that goes over your eyes to one that is basically like a velcro headband that can put pressure on my head while applying ice around the entire thing - It’s amazing! I also have one that is large enough that it can cover most of my back, so I use it on my shoulders and neck. My pain radiates from my left temple/top of my left head down into my neck and shoulder. And then they all just feed into each other.

- Water!: I don’t drink nearly enough but I also can’t stress how important it is. Evie’s experience at the neurologist being dehydrated is based on personal experience for me, unfortunately so was the panic attack that followed. I tend to get dehydrated easily when I’m sick. The case that I was basing Evie’s experience off of involves a prescription for prednisone pills that tapered off throughout a week. No matter how much water I drink if I’m on steroid pills I end up dehydrated and awake for like 72 hours. I have tiny veins, to begin with, so the bruises from that IV were HUGE. It’s important to make sure you drink as many fluids as possible (water, sports drinks, juices). I do have an app called My Water that I have a notification on that goes off every 30 minutes that reminds me to drink water, it can be set from every 15 minutes to every few hours all at your discretion. It pushes notifications to my Apple Watch as well which is helpful and has been wonderful the last two weeks as I’ve gone through this rough patch. It wakes me up just enough to take a few drinks.

- Caffeine and Sugar: I have had a variety of doctors have a variety of opinions on this but it works for me. I love coffee (thus the raybansandcoffee username) but I have had to cut back over the years because too much caffeine can be a trigger. But when a migraine is coming caffeine and sugar can help me kick the medicine into gear faster. I have a hard time with the over-the-counter migraine medications though most of them have caffeine in them. I take prescription strength naproxen (Aleve) along with Imitrex and an anti-nausea medication at the onset of a migraine. I had a friend who was in nursing school test a theory on me. I’m a Diet Coke addict. It’s my life. Fake sugar is also a migraine trigger for me, though Diet Coke has never caused problems on its own, it’s things with a higher amount of fake sugar mainly aspartame (NutraSweet). She told me to start drinking regular Mt. Dew at the onset of a headache and it sort of helped. I switched the energy drinks I use, stopped using sugar substitutes in coffees because NutraSweet itself would cause a headache. Sucralose or Splenda hasn’t caused as many issues with me which is the sugar substitute used in syrups at Starbucks, I had a friend that was a barista research that for me. I tend to avoid the substitutes just to be safe, my brain likes it, my waistline maybe doesn’t, haha.

- Sleep: I know that’s obvious and sometimes hard to achieve. Often times the pain is bad enough that you are left awake from it and the caffeine in the over-the-counter medications. If your migraines involve a lot of nausea I suggest asking a doctor for an anti-nausea medication, mine also helps me sleep which helps relieve the pain. If you don’t like prescriptions or don’t have access to health insurance Benadryl is a great alternative. My anti-nausea is an antihistamine that is a stronger medication than Benadryl but often times if I need to be awake early the next day for work I substitute it. Benadryl’s active ingredient is used to treat nausea and vomiting due to motion sickness and has worked well for me, it also is a sleep aid. Follow the directions on ANY medication I suggest and always, always, ALWAYS talk to your primary care physician or nurse because I am not a medical professional just a person with a lot of history with migraines.

- A good old fashioned orgasm: Yup, it sounds weird and every movie and TV show with a wife who ‘had a headache’ is lying…sort of. The orgasm is the key to it, haha and unfortunately that’s not always guaranteed. So whether it’s through sex or self-pleasure sometimes it works. I know my body well enough to know if sex is going to make it better or worse and when it makes it worse it makes it A LOT worse. The dude in my life flat out refuses to try and help in that manner because there were a few occasions where it made it worse and we went from being happy and snuggly after a round of good sex to me on the floor of his bedroom in the fetal position. That’s not a sexy thing to do, trust me. Haha. It’s a risk that I’m not usually willing to take anymore because of that. But I have friends who swear by it so I have to put it out there.

- Massage therapy and aromatherapy: Always be open with the therapist that you have migraines and let them know if you currently have one. I have gotten massages for about 3 or 4 years as part of my care. Either to prevent or relieve. Hot stones can be amazing but I have to be careful as does the therapist. If it’s too hot or too close to my neck it can cause an increase in pain. Cool stones can do a lot to relieve the pain I experience behind my eyes. A lot of massage therapists use aromatherapy, be careful if you have scent issues like I do you need to make sure that it’s not something that will aggravate your migraines. I’ve found safe scents for me are lavender and peppermint. Peppermint can work wonders when it comes to nausea too so I suggest keeping a roll on of that in a purse or backpack. I have one that is a blend specifically for migraines that I bought on Amazon that I used to keep in my desk at work when I was in a traditional office.

- Find support: This is the hardest one. I am lucky that I have family who is loving and caring and a few of them have a history with this shitty condition. It took a while for them to understand just how bad they would get and a lot of people, friends and family, thought it was an excuse and that I just didn’t want to go to work. It took them noticing the signs with me and seeing me fight through a lot of it to realize that I wasn’t lying. The key physical sign for me is my pupils dilate and get super huge…on my right side. My left side is trying to compensate for the pain my brain is in as well as the sensitivity to light and gets small. Yup, I have unevenly dilated pupils, it’s creepy and weird and sometimes I look like a drug addict. But once they were able to see the signs I’d have my brother or a parent say ‘how’s your head feeling’ because they’d see how huge my pupils had gotten. My friends learned to understand that when I was well I’d be there for them without question and happy to go out and have fun but if I wasn’t I did the bare minimums in life. I worked and slept. I found a counselor that was willing to listen to me about all of the things going on in my life and help me talk through some of my anxieties as well as how to approach life and new situations when my migraines cause problems. I am on my third neurologist but he is amazing! It took a lot of trial and error to find what would work for me but he kept trying. It’s also nice to know a few fellow migraineurs because we can compare notes and keep each other upbeat when the days get long…I mean fuck I’m approaching 16 days in a row with migraines. If I didn’t have a community of people to support me and a few to listen and not say “Have you tried going gluten free it worked for me and I used to get like 3 migraines a year” - on a side note I’d rather have a migraine every day than give up gluten, we all make life decisions that is mine. Haha. I am never going to tell someone I know what will work for them because what works for me doesn’t work for others and vice versa.

So if you don’t have any friends who also experience then know you can ALWAYS come to me. I will listen, offer advice where necessary and requested, and just be here to listen if you need someone to. If you don’t want to share it publicly feel free to PM me off anon and let me know that you don’t want it public and we can communicate back and forth that way. I also have my messages turned on so you can do that as well. Hell if you want my email or my KIK I’ll hand it over. It’s tough to find support when you’re always afraid people are going to judge you, think you’re lazy or in the case of the last week of my life a junkie who just wants drugs. You can also follow my main blog @iowagirlwrites. I tend to blog a little bit more about my health conditions (chronic migraines, anxiety, depression and a history with agoraphobia) over there. I also try and find humor in my migraines and often blog there about that too. I don’t want to overwhelm my readers here with a lot of bummery stuff but I also want them to know that I’m human and I go through shit and that I’m always willing to talk. I’m much older than a lot of my readers as I’m in my early 30s (what can I say Harry is cute and won me over easily when he was a wee 19-year-old). I’ve been through a lot of what my readers are going through and survived. So I am always here for them, sort of like a big sister or friend or something. I didn’t have a lot of people to turn to when I went through the worst of my health so I want people to know they can come to me.

I hope something I’ve suggested helps you. If you have something you’re thinking about shoot it over and I’ll let you know if I’ve tried it and how it worked for me. I hope your migraines don’t give you too much crap.

But know I’m going to take something to try and get rid of my migraine or at least put me to sleep until morning.

xx AM.

#ask away

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everydayessence · 5 years ago

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Sufferer for 2.5 years. Pretty bad. Not unbearable, but it definitely took over my life.The Cure:This January, I came back to the UK, after a month abroad.While I was abroad, the change of environment seemed to help my eczema a lot. I'd thought I was winning, on the right road. But the moment I got back, things went terribly. Major attacks. Everything was terrible.The atopic element started turning into asthma too, which I haven't had since boyhood. Enervated, couldn't focus. No cream was enough.Confusingly, my doctor told me that this attack was in part hives - that I'd been sensitised to something in my local environment. So I've started taking Fexofenadine for that part - it's a 3rd generation antihistamine, which targets skin conditions particularly well. It's great - hits bits that cetirizine and loratadine never touched. And all with only the merest side effects.But I think it's the other stuff that I've been doing differently has really brought my immune system back into phase, for the first time in forever.When the attack really started to bite, I had another weekend of Googling, looking for cures - quack or otherwise, I no longer cared.And what I alighted on was gut health.I'd always been resistant to the gut thesis, mainly because 'leaky gut' is an idea that medical science is ambivalent on. It's not even clear it's 'a thing'. Also - I'd tried a low histamine diet, and while it had given me symptomatic relief in the summer hell months, it was awfully boring, and never felt like a 'cure'.Nonetheless, over the next few days, I developed the following protocol:I'd read a study suggesting that, if you could fast for four days, you could reset your immune system - you could generate new, non-defective T-cells. [https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/27ffav/fasting_triggers_stem_cell_regeneration_of/] So, in desperation, I just stopped eating. It didn't immediately work. But it did make it a lot easier to do the next thing:Give up carbs. Once you're into your second day of fasting, you're in ketosis, so exiting that into a diet of meat and oils, feels surprisingly great, and not tough at all.Got into intermittent fasting (i.e. only eating one meal a day). Again, surprisingly easy once you get off the carbs hamster wheel).Combined, these two elements - the fats and the fasting - will starve the 'bad' bacteria, yeasts often, who eat sugar, and need more regularised feeding. And feed the 'good' bacteria, who eat fat, and can survive longer without food.I also gave up sparkling water (I used to drink an awful lot of this, and its slight acidity might have been shifting my gut pH)Then, got some supplements. A probiotic. Not sure if this helps, but it seems like the sort of thing that would. I just take a standard Lactobacilus. 3 billion cultures.Quercetin, for the natural antihistamine and allergy-prevention.Curcumin for the natural anti-inflammatory,Bovine colostrum. A remarkable thing - 'a mammal's first milk, apparently'. But more importantly - contains antibodies that can help rebuild the immune system. And, if I've read the science right, is actively involved in rebuilding the gut lining. From what I understand, too, it's worth shelling out the extra for the better quality stuff. It's all anecdotal of course, but I really feel as though this one has helped a lot.NAC - for the cysteine, which is a precursor in making glutathione, which is also one of the key 'leaky gut' healers.Also - consciously avoiding NSAIs like ibuprofen. I used to knock them back whenever I was having an attack. From what I understand, these are initially helpful - they are non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, after all, but over time they actively disrupt the normal functioning of the gut.And - never drinking beer. More carbs/gluten. I had one lapse, and I felt absolutely dreadful the next day. Well, it was either the gammon-and-eggs, or it was the beer....White spirits, though, seem to be just fine. Cocktails. Vodka. Etc. I find I can drink a lot more, in fact. And enjoy it more.Obviously, cutting back overall on booze is a wonderful idea for your guts - but you already knew that.Outside of these things, I'm still doing the usual stuff. Exercise. Sleep. Meditation. Moisturisers. De-stressing.I also bought a dehumidifier. But I don't think that did much, except make my room feel a bit fresher.I still use a little bit of mometasone to put out the final embers. But now, whatever flare-ups I have feel very much like they are only located on my skin, not emanating from the centre of my being. And they have diminished to almost nil.It is now a month down the line, and I have to say, I feel transformed. The rheum has left my eyes, the catarrh has finally exited my throat. This is probably how normal people feel most of the time. I not only feel 'like my old self', I feel better than my old self.Please parse for confirmation bias, but, looking back, I have a theory on where the trouble started, and how it might have been gut-centred:My first great eczema attack came after a period of stress, where I'd been subsisting on a diet of pastries and sparkling water and coffee and pizza. I'd then developed an infected wisdom tooth while on holiday, and spent a week taking ibuprofen - about ten a day - to dull the pain. When I finally got home, they gave me a super-strong antibiotic, and I'm sure that knocked out most of my gut flora. A month later, in the midst of a further phase of stress and booze, I started to break out in great welts of eczema, and life was never really the same after that.TL;DR: There's hope! Touch wood. via /r/EczemaCures

#eczema #eczema cures #organic eczema cream

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reallyshamelessdreamer-blog · 6 years ago

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A letter to you....

I’m writing this for you to test if this will work. I’m writing because I care about you and I’ve been worried about you. I know you had a tough night last night letting it all out, being open, being at your most vulnerable self with someone who has enough already. I saw how you drove home in a daze. I saw how you were staring at your ceiling, torn with staying up or sleeping because your nightmares haunt you. I saw how you kept waking up because of your dreams that don’t make sense. I saw how you just laid there facing on one side and suddenly feeling fresh hot tears cloud your eyes. I saw how you fought it off by forcing yourself to get up and boil some eggs because you haven’t eaten since last night. You haven’t eaten for almost a day. I saw you went to your room realizing your heart and mind are racing, trying to outrun each other. I saw how confused you are. I saw you started to pace back and forth in your room. I saw how you tried to distract yourself by grabbing the egg, remembering you should eat at least something by now. I saw how you tried to crack it. I saw you stopped. I saw you putting it back on the table. I saw you trying to stop your tears but they wont stop. I saw you trying hard to open it, but your hands are shaking and you’re finding it painful to do so because you’re forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. I saw you crying, pacing back and forth around the bed, your hands on your chest cause it’s been painful in that area, crying harder, feeling so lost. I saw you trying not to make a sound, I saw you trying to pace faster, grabbing tissues once in awhile and feeling your chest will explode. I saw you like this for about an hour. I don’t know how you have so many tears. I don’t know how you have so many grasps of air you’re trying to take in while pacing back and forth. I don’t know how you go around when your legs feel like jelly. I don’t know how much hair you’ve lost from grabbing your head, pulling your hair and trying to calm yourself. I don’t know how you’re not stopping with pacing back and forth while your body is telling you to stop moving. I don’t know if I can still look at you like this.

I saw you grabbed your phone, scrolled through your contacts and feeling lost with who can you talk to, who can you bug without feeling judged. I saw you going online and searched for your therapist’s number. I saw how desperate you looked. I saw how you impulsively texted your best friend, how you said “I’m lost.” I saw how she replied a lot, very worried about you because you weren’t making sense. I saw how you told her about your migraines, having hives, having nightmares and about your crazy thoughts that don’t make any sense. I saw how she said she loves you. I saw how you stopped replying. I saw how she texted again that she loves you. I saw how you just read it and refusing to talk to her anymore. I saw how you’re pushing her away now, feeling scared that she might feel what you’re feeling, thinking that she already has problems of her own, scared she might think her best friend that she has known for years is now crazy. I saw how you wanted to stop pushing her away because in reality you know that’s when you believe you need someone the most. I saw how you felt a little glimpse of hope when suddenly your therapist replied, I saw how you broke down on the floor crying reading she’s not available today. I saw how you just cried and laid there on the floor. I saw how helpless you looked, I felt torn seeing you like this. I wanted to pick you up but I can’t. I don’t know how to reach out to you. I don’t know how to help you because I know you’ll push me away too. You must have been crying for over an hour now, because you realized you’ve used up your tissue box already and have a mess of used napkins all around your room.

I saw you calmed down a bit later on and feeling your heart rate went slower. I saw how you went and tried to crack the egg open again, but you stopped. You stopped again and went back to crying with your heart racing, realizing you’re forcing something you don’t want to do. I saw you sitting there again on the floor, very confused, very lost, knowing you have to at least take something at this time, realizing how extremely cold your hands now are, just realizing your body has been shaking all this time. You haven’t eaten, you haven’t drank water, you haven’t showered for days. You haven’t done something for yourself and you are two pounds away now from being underweight. I saw you very confused, confused how panic attacks come after another. I saw you having a hard time sitting now because your back is starting to ache, your tummy is twisted to knots. Your thoughts go wild again thinking you can’t hold on any longer, and that you’ll destroy all your relationships soon, and that everything is actually your fault. You started to think about how you’re giving everyone a hard time, how invalid your feelings are and how worthless you are. You started to think about reading bad articles of people who gave up. You started to remember how you sat in your car writing on napkins with words too painful to share with anyone else. You started to remember how you almost overdosed yourself with pills and remembering your tongue, jaw and face getting numb and remembering not caring about anything anymore. You started to remember how it hurts when you wake up. I saw you when you opened your eyes the other day and started to cry because you prayed to not wake up anymore, to just sleep for good peacefully. I saw you fighting with your thoughts knowing that it’s wrong, knowing that it will hurt people, knowing it will cause pain, trying your best not to be completely selfish and finding yourself get confused and lost again.

I saw you wanting to pace back and forth again but you can’t. Your legs are damn tired and wobbly, your eyes are beyond swollen from crying and your chest is now red from all that trouble breathing and grasping for air. I saw you just sitting there against the wall, staring blankly and going back to the familiar feeling of constant nothingness. I saw how you felt numb just staring at your mattress. I saw how you realized there’s a pile of stuff underneath your bed. A Harry Potter wand, Forever 21 clothes, Bath and Body perfumes and sanitizers and more – realizing the stuff you buy at random times for other people, but more on realizing you haven’t really bought something for yourself lately.

I saw how you opened your laptop and just read, read about how a lot of people are actually lost and lonely, read about how a lot of people are neglected. I want you to know that your thoughts will be back, I want to warn you that they will haunt you again. You will go back to feeling you’re a burden, and you’re unimportant and lost. I want you to remember it will be a long, painful process. I won’t tell you that you won’t feel it anymore because you will and it will hit you harder than ever; but I want you to remember how you picked up your mess of napkins all around your room, how you waited to calm your heartbeat, and most importantly how you constantly reminded yourself that it will pass.

You will go back pushing people away when it gets too much, but I want you to know I’m here not giving up on you. I want you to know that someday you will stop relying on those pills – from migraine pills, claritin, steroid, ibuprofen and all other pills your body is dependent on. Someday you won’t need the expensive therapies. I want you to remember that your feelings are valid and real. I want you to know it’s okay to get lost. I want you to know that you’re not crazy- you’re a human being who gets tired and overwhelmed and its a part of the process of growing up and heading where you’re supposed to be. I want you to know that the most important relationship to prioritize right now is with yourself. It’s about time to stop thinking too much of other people around you. It’s okay to care, but it’s better if you start with yourself first. Know that it’s not selfish but it’s a way of being a better person with people around you. I know everything’s a mess right now and nothing makes sense but when it does, I want you here breathing and witnessing every minute of it. Things are broken and tangled right now for reasons you haven’t discovered yet, and I’m here to support you until things make sense. I want you to remember that when you get there, to not forget how lost you were so you can be sensitive with people around you. I want you to be able to support them when they need it and expect nothing in return. I want you to know how it feels like being this down so you can use it when you find yourself with a person this lost.

I want you to remember you are not alone. Yes you have your flaws, flaws that not everyone will understand. You will be constantly judged, you will be talked about, you will receive a lot of hurtful words from people close to you and from people you don’t know. Despite that, please know that I accept you for who you are and I know the truth behind all these things. You will find yourself lost again but please don’t give in. Remember that you can push through. You have surpassed a lot of things already. I want you to know that when you feel like giving up again, things are usually very difficult before they get easy. I want you to know that’s how you can truly appreciate things. I want you to start supporting yourself the way you support people. I want you to know that there are more reasons to focus on the positive things. You have a place to go home to when you get sick. It may feel like its not home, but it lets you rest when you need it. It’s not called home for now but someday you’ll be surprised you’ll find yourself having one. You’ll find yourself opening your door with a fluffy baby wagging its tail excited to see you.

Please remember it’s going to be okay. It will be hell again but things will be okay. You will feel terrible in the next couple weeks. You will feel homesick and lonely when holidays start to kick in. You will find yourself completely alone and stuck again. It will happen a lot before things will get easier. It may be not now, not soon, but someday you will be in the right place and you’ll find yourself surrounded with the right people who won’t hinder your growth. You might hurt and disappoint a lot of people along the way but know that it won’t be an overnight process to get where you’re supposed to be. Know that just because it was a painful decision doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision. You will fall, fall a lot of times but I’ll need you to get up more. You will get up more. Know that you don’t have to do something big to feel you’re progressing. Know that working on it even if it’s just 1% everyday is more than enough. It’s time to stop pushing me away and time to let me love you right. Bring me your fears, your anxieties, your tired body, your tired mind and your tired heart. Know that I understand and accept these ugly parts of you. Know that these parts will someday make and shape you. Know that we’ll make it work and know that these parts are loved too. Know that you deserve to be loved like how you accept and love people. You are flawed but you are worth it. Writing this wasn’t easy but I did this because I love you and I’m here for you

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keratoconusgroup · 7 years ago

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My Kerataconus and Epi Off CXL experience

Hey y'all, When I was researching when I first found out I needed the surgery, I didn't see the amount of in depth explanations as I wanted to see, so is literally every detail I remember for that next very curious/overwhelmed person who comes searching. This is going to be full of all types of errors. I'm on day 3 recovering and only give enough of a fuck to write this not to write it well. :) Diagnosis: I always watch tv with subtitles. I started noticing ghosting and thought my prescription was off. I went to the dr and he gave me a new prescription and told me not to wear my contacts overnight cuz my eye was swelling. He said to wait a month then come back if swelling hasn't gone down. I waited a month and came in still complaining of ghosting. He then figured it was kerataconus and sent me to get a second opinion. Second Opinion/Medications/Insurance/Surgery Prep: I went to a big bad legit eye dr and she took the topography of my eye. My memory is a little hazy on this one, but they dilated me then I basically sat in a chair with my face to some other big eye machine and took pictures. Wasn't a bad experience just annoying because I have long eye lashes. She then told me I had a mild case and she's surprised my eye dr caught it. She told me to start taking zaditor which is an OTC eye allergy drop. It's available at most pharmacys I've been to since being told to use it. I definitely recommend it if you haven't heard about it yet. I was a chronic eye rubber and I never feel the need to rub my eyes anymore. She also gave me some eye drop used to relieve eye pressure. It's usually given to people with glaucoma, but she said it could potentially make it so there is less pressure in my eye and the cornea will warp less. That eye drop made me a little woozy so I didn't take it as much. She recommended I wait 9 months to come in and get more topography done. She didn't want me to go through the cost of having the surgery if it was going to be stagnant. However, everything who had waited online said they regretted it and wished they had done their eye as soon as they were diagnosed. So, I asked for the surgery. (Thinking back I should have asked on the phone that this new big bad legit eye doctor did actually do surgeries. She didn't and I was hoping for a one stop shop instead of being bounced to yet another doctor.) She referred me to other doctors, but none of them took my insurance (TriCare). I knew tricare covered the surgery so I had to call around to literally every single big bad legit eye doctor to see who took one. One of the most well known eye places in my area actually told me there isn't any insurance that would cover the surgery, which was just their ignorance but point is keep searching even if you get feedback like that. I finally found the only eye doctor in the Kansas City Metro (Grin Eye Care for any of you who happen to live near KC) to take my insurance. I went in and they said they always performed the surgery on a specific day and were booked out a few months. That was fine with me, just sharing so you all can be aware your surgery may not be scheduled super quick. They prescribed me 3 eye drops in prep for my surgery. One was an antibiotic and one was a steroid. She said to begin them 3 days before my surgery. They also asked I wash my eyelashes using diluted baby soap for a week prior to my surgery. I also couldn't wear makeup for a week. Surgery Day: My surgery was at 330, but they asked me to get there at 3. I signed in and there was a misunderstanding about insurance and they asked me for 2500 to pay for the procedure. We got it all cleared up, but that's how much it would've costed without insurance. They gave me a Xanax and told me to sit down. They called me into the office where they explained the 3 parts of the surgery. They started by numbing my eye using drops. Then he put those eye opening apparatuses on my eye. He then explained he was removing the first layer of my eye. He had me put my chin on that machine they normally use with the rectangle shapes light where they tell you to look at their ear (dont know the name of it and not in the mood to check). He then took out this sonicare looking brush thing and started brushing my eye. To which I was like "ohhhh my god" multiple times. I was so afraid of looking away and him taking off the wrong part. It took about 2 minutes to do. I did feel some slight burning after but it was super slight. We then began the eye drops. They moved my seat about and put me all the way back in a laying down position and then just started to drop this yellow stuff in my eye every 2 minutes. There was a machine that would ding whenever she needed to do it. Nothing special about the yellow stuff. It would sometimes roll down the side of my face but the nurse would wipe it. I will say during this piece I noticed everything would get super blurry between the drops. My nurse said it was because my cornea was dehydrated. Whenever she put the drops my vision cleared up again. Just a note: after my epi was off I could still see things fine. I was expecting to be blind the rest of the time, but it would just get blurry from my eye drying thanks to the eye separator. That device wasn't super uncomfortable either. I was fine with it. It did feel a little weird when I tried to blink, but the eye number kept me not realizing how dry it was. Last step was the UV light. They had to measure my eye with that stick jabbed thing to make sure it was thick enough for the next part. Had to be at least 400 microns and I was at 460. My nurse continued to add the drops and then kept the UV light above me for me to look at. The UV light wasn't super bright like I thought it was going to be. It was blue and kinda dull. I was worried about my light sensitivity for this part before the procedure but it was fine. As I stared at the light everything would get black until she put more drops. Thats normal just keep looking wherever you were originally looking. Also dont move around too much because your nurse will have to move the uv light over and over. My husband was in the room with me after my epi was off and he took a picture of this part of the procedure and sent it to our family. So, if you want your family in the room to keep you company during and hour of eye drops ask! Once we were finally done she put the bandage in my eye. It felt like a really big thin, badly fit contact to me. She said if it falls out to tape my eye and not put it back in. Before I left they taped my eye and gave me more tape for the road. Recovery Day of Surgery: I left the eye care center wearing big cover all sunglasses that went over my glasses. They were amazing and I'm actually wearing them as I type now due to light sensitivity. Anyways, I had 0 pain from when I left at 445 to around 7. I had basically 2 hours to text my family and do everything normal because nothing hurt. Around 7ish I started to feel the burning. My doctor said it would feel like hot sauce, but it literally just feels like someone scraped off the top of your eye. The same analogy works a little better in my opinion. I also had some like just eye throbbing mixed in too. My eye was swollen. The doctor was telling me to expect 10/10 pain. I would gauge it at a 6/10 and mostly just because its so new to me to have my eye hurt. There was no sharp pain. It was manageable and someone I read before said it was like a toothache and I would agree Again, every one has their own pain tolerance. I do consider mine to be a little higher. Anyways, I kept my eye closed with tape and removed it only to add drops. Adding drops was a big difficult because I didn't want to open that eye. It was fine though I got them in. I kept that eye shut all night. One of my questions before my cxl was if I would be able to use my phone afterwards once the pain started. I was texting some, but did not feel comfortable looking at the phone very often. I could see my with good eye but it kind of was difficult to use it. If I turned my eye any way I would feel the other eye turn as well and it was uncomfortable. It also was a bit sensitive to light, but that might've been because I kept myself in a very dark room. It was very difficult to go to sleep. The whole throbbing and burning thing was not going my way. I did take some ibuprofen and it took the edge of. They also had prescribed me xanax, when I finally took it I fell asleep around 3 AM until 8 AM. Recovery Day 2: I woke up with some pain but definitely less than the previous night. I took more ibuprofen and my eye drops. My eye was still pretty swollen so drops were still a pain. I still kept the eye closed. I went to the doctor for a follow up and he said I had some "goop" around my eye and I needed to make sure to wipe it every once in a while with a wet paper towel. I had been afraid to touch my eye at all so I was happy that I could do that now. He had me open my eye and asked how many fingers he was holding up. I was surprised that I could see! I expected to be super blind. Everyone was blurry, but I could still see a lot. He also told me I needed to actually open my eye to let it heal. That visit to the doctor was super quick. I came home still with some pain and took more ibuprofen. I then attempted to open my eyes. Opening my eyes was weird because my bad eye was so swollen. It didn't want to open and then my other eye was light sensitive and affecting my other eye. It was weird. I got home and made it a challenge to myself to open my eyes. I ended up putting on pocahontas (one of my fav childhood movies because nostalgia makes everything better) and actually opened my eyes to watch it. It was great. I could read the subtitles with both of my eyes open. When I only used my bad eye I saw the subtitles suuuuuuuper ghosted. Everything was also blurry but not a terrible blurry. A similar amount of blurry as when you don't have glasses on. Again, I was able to use my phone way better than the first day, but not for extended time. I also started using cold compresses the second day. I should've used it sooner! I felt no pain when the cold was on my eye. It was great. By the end of day 2 the pain had dulled a bit but was still there. Recovery Day 3 (right now as I type): I woke up with very little pain. I would describe it as more so irritation that is mostly in the middle of my eye. I can keep both my eyes open for an extended period of time. I put reddit on nighttime mode to make it easy on my eyes. I am able to look outside with my coverall sunglasses on with my good eye and not feel like the other eye is dying. My bad eye can only stand looking outside 3 seconds. I might will update this later in the week, no promises though. Hope it helped someone feel better about CXL! submitted by /u/zabreeta [link] [comments] https://www.reddit.com/r/Keratoconus/comments/8wt8uy/my_kerataconus_and_epi_off_cxl_experience/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

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gotoocollectorheart-blog · 7 years ago

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Simple Self-Care for Lower Back Pain

It must have been that super-strenuous spin class I took last week, when my mind fooled me into believing I was 35 but my body stubbornly acted its age. Energized but exhausted, I continued this self-deception by joining a friend after class in some challenging new ab work. She showed me new moves she'd recently learned. I struggled to keep up with her, but my body protested until I graciously bowed out. What happened the next day wasn't pretty. The minute I got out of bed I knew something was wrong. Pain shot through my right leg and then the leg buckled, threatening to throw me to the ground. And at frequent intervals throughout that day, that strange sensation threw me into fits of grimacing and grabbing onto the closest thing within reach to steady myself. Fortunately, I was in my house working, and no one except my dog could see my twisted expressions (and it didn't seem to faze her one bitâ€”she's old; what can I say?) Except, that is, when hubby returned from work that night. "That's just not normal!" he said, the first time he witnessed my sudden near-collapse. "There's something wrong!" he insisted. I figured I'd injured myself the day before and this is what I got â€¦ but then I guess his worry became contagious and suddenly seized my more sensible thoughts. Nasty contemplations ran through my head: A blood clot? Some rare neurological disease? A bone/circulation/muscular disorder? I called my doctor the next day and described what was happening. "It's most likely your lower back," he said. â€œThat's common.â€ I decided to wait a few days for it to improve. And the next morning, when I got out of bed, my lower back was soreâ€”but the leg only buckled once or twice. And by the day after that â€¦ voila! My leg stayed as steady as the proverbial rock. I'm sure you can relate to lower back pain; if you can't, you're in the minority. Up to 80 percent of us experience it at one point or another. It's so prevalent that it is estimated to cost Americans at least $50 billion each year in the quest for relief, and comes in second (behind headaches) as the most common neurological complaint in the United States. Fortunately, I'm pretty much on the mend now, my back feeling (almost) back to normal. But I realize I'm lucky: many lower back aches take much longer to go away. Mine was caused by a sports injury, most likely pushing myself beyond my limit for that day, or positioning myself incorrectly on the bike. Others might experience back pain after lifting something too heavy, gardening or an event as innocent as sneezing, coughing or just turning around too quickly. Or a degenerative condition like arthritis may be to blame. And then there's always another causeâ€”that "A" word. Aging. Our bone strength and muscle tone elasticitydecrease with age; discs begin to lose their cushioning fluid and flexibility. But back pain does not have to equal surgery. Most people do recover, in time, with some self-care. Ice or heat: Compresses may help reduce pain and inflammation. Time matters: As soon as possible, apply a cold pack or cold compress to the tender spot for up to 20 minutes several times daily; a bag of ice or even a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a towel will work. After two to three days, switch over to heat to relax muscles and increase blood flow to the area. And there's nothing more soothing than a warm, relaxing bath. Rest: I remember long ago when bed rest was the standard treatment for back pain. I don't know about you, but I feel much better when I'm up and about; things seem to stiffen up when I sit or lay flat. And studies have backed that up, finding that people who continue with their activities tend to appear to have better back flexibility than those who rested in bed for a week. Caution: there are some instances where rest is necessary and the preferred treatment. And when you do rest, lying on your side with a pillow between your knees can take some of the pressure off your muscles; or try lying on your back with a pillow beneath your knees. Exercise: Gentle exercises can speed recovery and keep flexibility at its peak. This may include swimming, walking and movement therapy, which can develop better posture and coordination. Yoga and gentle stretching also might be effective ways to manage lower back pain. And there's a lot to be said, psychologically, for feeling like you're in control and actively doing something to help yourself. (Don't get overzealous, though: If you feel pain that goes beyond mild and lasts more than 15 minutes during exercise, stop what you're doing. Don't push yourself to do something that causes even more pain. Stay within your limit and listen to your body.) Alternative treatments: Needles may sound scary, but these tiny, hair-thin flexible needles (in fact, it's hard to really call them "needles" in the conventional sense) can trigger the release of endorphins, the body's naturally occurring pain relievers. Acupuncture dates back centuries, but studies have shown it to be superior to medications or physical therapy in treating chronic back pain. Although acupuncture is controversial among many Western scientists and physicians, others support it. The WHO (World Health Organization) has found it effective in treating 28 conditions. In addition, some people (about 22 million Americans visit them annually) swear by chiropractors, who gently manipulate and align the spine and may also incorporate other treatments such as ultrasound, massage,biofeedback and nutritional therapy. Therapeutic touch and Reiki are "energy-based" techniques that don't involve direct physical contact. They are thought to help activate the body's own self-healing capacities. The jury is mixed on their efficacy, though, for many, they may help ease the a***y associated with pain and thus might relieve muscle spasms associated with stress. Medications: Many people find they are able to manage their pain with over-the-counter remedies like ibuprofen, aspirin or naproxen. Prescription drugs like muscle relaxers, opioids, anticonvulsants and even some antidepressants are sometimes recommended to manage moderate to severe pain. (But please remember to always check with your doc before taking drugs to manage pain; even over-the-counter medications can be unsafe in certain instances and can conflict with other medications or herbal supplements you might be taking.) And then, there's more: More approaches to treat back pain include injections of local anesthetics, steroids or narcotics into affected areas; traction, TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) and ultrasound. Spinning class will have to do without me for now, although I must admit, I miss the challenge. Perhaps the next time I go, I'll forgo the after-class exercises with my friend and instead use that time for some gentle stretching and catching up. Read the full article

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type2diabetestreatments-blog · 8 years ago

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Ask D'Mine: Understanding GERD, Which Vitamins to Choose?

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/ask-dmine-understanding-gerd-which-vitamins-to-choose/

Ask D'Mine: Understanding GERD, Which Vitamins to Choose?

Maybe it's your stomach gone awry, or maybe you're just totally confused about which dietary supplements actually matter... either way, we've got you covered.

We answer all sorts of diabetes-related queries here at Ask D'Mine, our weekly advice column hosted by community educator and author Wil Dubois (also a veteran T1 PWD).

Need help navigating life with diabetes? [email protected]

Lisa from Nevada, type 1 writes: I'm trying to get my head around which vitamins or minerals are especially important for diabetics to take on a daily basis. I hear so many conflicting things. I've been taking magnesium, fish oil, vitamin D3, and calcium. Are these the best choices, or are there others?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: You hear so many conflicting things because no one knows which vitamins or minerals anyone should be taking on a daily basis, much less which ones PWDs should be taking.

In theory, we'd get all we need from our natural diet and environment. But of course, McDonalds did not evolve with our species in the Great Rift Valley, so we modern humans could easily be missing out on some things nature would normally provide. I believe that our overly-processed diet does lack trace minerals and vitamins we need; but how much of which ones are missing is waaaaaaaay beyond my intelligence, so I just opt for the duck hunting approach.

OK, so I've never been duck hunting.

But my grandfather used to, and he told me he used a shotgun. The reasons for this are twofold. The first is that it's illegal and apparently un-sportsman-like to shoot a duck sitting on the water where it would be easy pickings. I guess that's where we get the expression "like a sitting duck." The second reason is that no one is a good enough shot to pick off a flying duck with a single shot from a rifle. Instead, a shotgun sends up a cloud of pellets that only need to be in the vicinity of the duck to drop it from the sky to your dinner table. In point of fact, most of the pellets will miss the duck—but enough will hit to do the job. (According to assorted hunting sites on the internet, 3-5 pellets out of 88 in a typical shell will hit the duck—so it looks like 95% of the pellets go to waste.)

So my shotgun for my modern human diet is a multi-vitamin. I'm hoping that that 3-5 of the vitamins and minerals I need will hit their target, while the other 88 I don't need won't hurt me. Too much of some of these trace things can be as bad as too little, and I think some people go waaaaaaaaaaay overboard on vitamins and supplements.

As to the ones you're taking now, how did you make those choices? Fish oil is well studied and has some impressive data supporting its ability to lower cholesterol if you need to. Vitamin D is an important supplement if you are deficient, which takes a lab test to determine. Vitamin D deficiency can cause mind-numbing fatigue, bone pain, and can ultimately lead to rickets—a weakening and softening of bone. This is one of those fun medical adventures I've been on myself and don't recommend—bone pain is amazingly maddening. Calcium is actually the most abundant mineral in the body, and is common both as a native component or as an additive in many foods. So unless you know you're low... And the same holds true for magnesium; I'm not sure you should take more unless you know you don't have enough.

Looking at a "silver" multivitamin you can see that a single tab contains a quarter of the recommended daily magnesium, 100% of your vitamin D, 20% of your calcium, and zero percent of your fish oil. But where on earth do these recommended daily guidelines come from? As best as I can tell, nutrition experts from the Institute of Medicine and the National Academy of Sciences get together every couple a' years, ingest hallucinogenic mushrooms, and kick around some new numbers. But are they right? Who the hell knows? It's anyone's guess. And other counties have adopted different standards than we have here in the U.S. It reminds me a bit of the medical consensus standards we discussed a while back.

Got some time on your hands? You can dig deeper into what is known and not known about supplements at this multi-agency federal site here.

And speaking of taking too many pills...

Ranelle from Nebraska, type 2, writes: I have type 2 diabetes and neuropathy, and have just been diagnosed with something called GERD and put on yet another pill. I was only told that it is a stomach reflux thing. I'm worried about taking so many different pills... Where can I learn more?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Like I always say, diabetes doesn't like to play alone: it brings all its buddies over to party in your body. For those of you who don't know, GERD stands for gastroesophagel reflux disease, which you can't say ten times really fast, which is why we call it GERD instead. It's a very wicked form of heartburn where digestive juices irritate or damage the esophagus.

The mechanics of GERD involve the lower esophageal sphincter, a ring of muscle fibers that serve like a cork to keep the top of your stomach closed when you're not eating. If it gets lazy, stuff from the stomach can take a wrong turn and head back up-stream. GERD is amazingly common, affecting around a third of Americans once per month, and plaguing around 10% of folks on a daily basis.

I couldn't find any clear statistics that indicate how much more common (or not) GERD is for people with diabetes, but it's associated with obesity. Not to be insensitive, but most type 2s are... ummm... you know... fluffy. And before everyone starts flaming me, I hasten to point out that a great number of us type 1s are overweight, too, along with about a third of the country. Be sure to check out the cool full color animated Fat Map... and watch Colorado be the last state in the Union to fall to fat!

For many people, GERD can be treated with lifestyle changes or over-the-counter meds. On the lifestyle front, things that make GERD worse include citrus, chocolate, alcohol, fried food, fatty food, spicy food, and tomato-based foods. Holy crap. That's, like, the whole food pyramid! Oh yeah, smoking can make GERD worse, too; and avoid taking aspirin and ibuprofen. Sounds like GERD is almost as much work as diabetes. On top of all of that, a host of prescription meds can make GERD worse, including beta-blockers, calcium channel blockers, some asthma meds, some antidepressants, and—ironically—the anti-seasickness family of medications called anticholinergics.

Of course if someone's condition is advanced beyond what can be accomplished with lifestyle changes, there're pills to take — and I know from your letter that this has happened to you. I sometimes get a lot of flak for being an advocate of the just-take-your-damn-medicine camp. But I think you should in this case. Here's why: you told me you have neuropathy. So we know that at least some of your nerves have been damaged by high blood sugar in the past. It's possible that there's also nerve damage to your digestive system that's causing the GERD or making it worse, and that can put your condition outside the scope of what can be fixed with even extreme lifestyle changes. Ya' might have to take a pill.

The GERD medicine cabinet has three different prescription approaches: proton pump inhibitors (PPIs), coating agents, and so-called promotility agents.

PPIs are stomach acid stompers. Think Tums on steroids (metaphorically). The PPI group includes the high-profile purple pill Nexium.

Coating agents are designed to help heal the damage to your esophagus from the renegade stomach acids. Think Pepto on a grand scale.

The promotility agents are supposed to help batten down the hatches by tightening the sphincter muscles and make the stomach empty faster. I understand that they're not too popular with the White Coats as they're side-effect-intensive, don't seem to work as well for most people as the PPIs, and don't play well in the sand box with other medications. Still, they can beat heck out of the next GERD treatment alternative: surgery.

In terms of where you can learn more, I poked around some of the hidden corners of the medical internet for you, and found a group of articles at Emedicinehealth that have received the blessing of the GERD docs. You can learn a lot more about GERD there.

I can understand you not wanting to take more pills, but if your pills keep you healthy and make you feel better, isn't it worth it?

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article

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