#i-write-shakespeare-not-disney

[ampresandian]

Would anybody be interested in just a little something I've been working on?

It's not anything official or a leak or anything just like my own little fanfic/draft. I'm playing screenwriter (I've never done it before lol)

[themareverine]

ON GLASS WE WALK ▹coming soon

— Leopold x fem!OC

SUMMARY: Marketing copywriter by day, aspiring Shakespeare by night, she’s been crafting Prince Charmings and glass slippers all her life. Never once suspecting he could actually exist, bone to bone. In New York—her best-friend-in-law’s apartment complex. The stuff of Cinderella, Grimm—but her? “Oh. My. Lanta.” “Who, pray tell, is ‘Lanta?’”

warnings: eventual romance, friends to lovers, time travel, probably really bad era-appropriate utilization, longing, pining, mutual pining, courtship, virginity, religion.

a/n: delulu after watching this movie—I never had a Disney princess phase, but boy do I now. am I gonna ever write this? who knows but it’s here is this anything?

[thenightling]

Oh, no. It's real. I'm so worried they'll screw it up.

Gargoyles was one of my favorite shows when I was about twelve-years-old.

It was very subversive in how it educated you. You had these Gargoyles from medieval Scotland waking up in modern day New York City and deciding to protect the city as their new home. "Stone by day, warriors by night!" And not only was there an on-going story but there were characters from folklore and literature. The Weird Sisters, MacBeth, Oberon, Titania, Puck... You had to read Shakespeare, King Arthur, and folklore from around the world to understand who or what the characters were interacting with. It tricked kids into being interested in classic literature and I loved it. The show even created a literary / TV writing trope called the Xanatos Gambit. Named for the Gargoyles' main antagonist, David Xanatos (who later redeems himself, more or less) a Xanatos Gambit is when an antagonist has set up a scheme where no matter the outcome he wins on some level. Keith David had voiced Goliath (the main gargoyle) and the main human character was a human, woman detective who was half African and half Native American. And you know if this was made today people would call Elisa's very existence "Woke." My favorite character was the show's depiction of Puck. That was a plot twist I did not expect. To me the episodes The Gathering and The Gathering Part 2 was a big game changer. And they got Broadway icon, Terrence Mann (who I saw live in The Rocky Horror Show in 2001) as Oberon. I really hope this new live-action show is good but it could so easily be a disaster. Please, be good... This show was such a big part of my childhood.

[imagitory]

@andrewmoocow Personally I find them to be misguided. There is a very well-done analysis video I've cited before that talks about the animation and why it ends up looking like AI, and I think it really addresses this argument better than I could --

-- but TL;DR, the animation looks "fake" largely because of stylistic decisions (l.e. turning off motion blur with the thought it would look "more like 2D") that weren't well thought-out. And I actually think the film's writing issues run into the same problem.

Because here's the thing -- writing high fantasy is not as easy as it looks. I can testify to this because I myself am writing a draft for a high fantasy novel right now.

All these years, Disney has been in an advantageous position with their animated films largely being adaptations of previous works, since they're already given a lot of the parameters a writer needs to build a world, plot, and characters. In a Snow White adaptation, for instance, you need a vain queen, an innocent princess, a prince, seven dwarfs, a magic mirror, and a poisoned apple, as well as a fairy tale world where these things fit comfortably. And since so much mainstream fantasy is largely inspired by medieval Europe, that aesthetic remains very familiar with audiences to the point that you need a lot less explanation for things. We don't really need an explanation for the political landscape of Cinderella because we see "fairy tale kingdom" and immediately know it's an absolute monarchy led by generally amiable rulers. We're not surprised when fairies appear in Sleeping Beauty, or when a magical sword predicts who should be king in The Sword in the Stone, or when Tiana and Naveen are turned into frogs in The Princess and the Frog, or when trolls appear in Frozen -- all of these magical conventions fit within the usual fantasy aesthetic and really don't need any explanation or backstory. I'd hazard to say that most people -- aside from those nitpicky critic types who get all hung up on how many servants are in Beast's castle just because they saw a bunch of extra silverware in the Be Our Guest sequence -- just don't bother questioning these things. And the original material also gives some shape and form to the adaptation's story, characters, and overall feel. It doesn't matter how close the finished product matches the original idea or even how familiar the audience is with that original material -- it still provides a jump-off point and sense of focus for the writer(s), the same way fanfiction (even an AU fanfic) can, in contrast to original content.

All right, well, what about those Disney projects that aren't fantasy? Well, in the case of stories like Treasure Planet, Robin Hood, and Mulan, they're still based off preexisting properties that people will find familiar enough that the writers can focus more on the adaptation's unique additions and not focus on detailed backstories and explanations about how the world and societies depicted in the story work. It's a lot easier to just focus on the fantastical elements like the space tech, talking animals, or Mushu and the ancestors if the rest of the story and cast are relatively easy to understand. Even in the case of original stories like The Lion King (which admittedly was largely inspired by Shakespeare's Hamlet, but I digress), Lilo and Stitch, and Lady and the Tramp, they still exist in a non-magical world that closely resembles ours, with only superficial changes like animals being able to talk or the existence of aliens. Even quasi-historical settings like The Great Mouse Detective and Atlantis: The Lost Empire look enough like our real-world equivalent that their settings are largely recognizable to us.

In just about all Disney animated films, the screenwriters didn't have to world-build that much. They didn't have to put the character development and plot on hold to explain the rules of the universe these stories take place in that often -- not unlike how writers like Rick Riordan didn't have to explain as much about the country his hero Percy Jackson lives in, because his books are an urban fantasy where our real world is just "plused up" with magical elements. We don't need to know if gravity works on the story's characters the way it does for us. We don't need to be told about the political landscape, history, or terrain of our location. We don't need to ask whether dying is something our characters can come back from.

Wish, on the other hand, is an original story in a high fantasy setting that doesn't resemble our world. People might try to claim it takes place in the Iberian Peninsula, but come on -- Rosas is a completely fictional country in a world that has magic we don't know the rules of and countries that faintly resemble cultures from our world, but we don't know the histories of or how similar they actually are to their real-world inspiration. We also have a cast of characters we've never met in any other media and a story and messages that we know nothing about beforehand. This means that we have no preexisting framework going in for what's possible and impossible in this world; no frame of reference about who these characters are and what their histories are; and no parameters that the plot, characters, and themes must fit inside, whether based on the fantastical story being adapted or a real-world setting that's a lot like ours. And I don't think that Disney really thought through just how challenging it can sometimes be to tell this kind of a story without stuffing the script with a lot of "tell" and not "show," which, as just about any film person can tell you, is the exact opposite of what you generally want. In film scripts, you want to show your audience a lot more than you tell them -- this not only takes full advantage of the visual medium and communicates your point in a much more natural and artistic way, but it also lets your audience think for itself and come to its own conclusions.

Now of course, can you write a high fantasy original story that's easy to follow and evokes a lot of emotion in your audience? Of course! But it does take time and a lot of careful and creative world-building. J.R.R. Tolkien was the king of such things. George R. R. Martin has done it. Neil Gaiman has done it. Ursula K. Le Guin has done it. Even the writer of the Nimona graphic novel, ND Stevenson, did a good job of it! But I think it's quite clear that Wish's script was not in the works that long -- development of the original idea started back in 2018, yes, but it wasn't until January 2022 that it was announced Jennifer Lee was writing it and Julia Michaels was brought on to write the songs, so the film's current trajectory likely wasn't pinpointed until then. And if the film was released in November 2023, then that means Wish's script was finished in under two years. Although there are successful Disney scripts that I daresay needed only that much time (Frozen, for instance, was quite rushed, by all accounts), once again, those scripts were done for stories with some sort of preexisting framework that allowed the writers to skip explaining certain visual or contextual short-hand in favor of focusing on their own creative flourishes in character and story. They were written with a tighter focus on the plot and its players without the need to build a complete stage under them.

The reason some people want to cry "AI!" when they look at Wish's writing is that they're looking at a script that makes the rookie writing mistake of exposition-dumping in an attempt to make its audience care, rather than evoking emotion. That kind of exposition-dumping is something that most novelists usually have to trim and rewrite in future drafts of their work: it's a mistake done while the writer is trying to world-build enough that their audience understands all of these original rules, societies, locations, and characters they're not familiar with. This exposition is then often trimmed down before publishing, and when adapted for the screen it's often trimmed even further or even completely rewritten, in favor of more visual methods of conveying the same information. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz writes about Dorothy traveling down the Yellow Brick Road and about the long journey that takes her and her friends through a lot of side adventures on their way to the Emerald City: it's the famous film adaptation that cuts out the Kalidahs and puts the whole trip to jaunty music for the characters to sing and dance to. Wish could've communicated to us the importance of the wishes to their owners through more visual means, but instead feels the need to reiterate this idea over and over through written dialogue. And again, this is a common mistake by writers when they're inexperienced in creating completely original content, as opposed to spin-offs, sequels, or adaptations of other people's work.

AI writing is generally known for repetitive phrasing and sentence structure, lack of accuracy, and lack of a personal touch. As much as I'll agree that there are a lot of character and world-building choices in Wish that don't make sense, I don't think that's the same thing. There clearly was a story someone (or multiple people) wanted to tell about a person hoarding the precious ideas of other people away, even if it means those ideas can never be shared with the world -- it just wasn't a story that ended up being told that well. And I think this is why Wish is almost worth seeing -- it serves as a good example of why certain writing decisions work better than others and how writing for fantasy projects and/or "family entertainment" is an art form that's worthy of respect when it's done right.

To sum up my stance on the matter -- I think Disney just bit off way more than it could chew and then didn't give its writers enough time to properly digest it.

[gayahithwen]

Apparently my blog turns 10 years old today, woohoo.

My stats:

513 followers. 107 people I follow. 36 mutuals. 🖖💖

8.5 thousand posts.

Mostly reblogs, with or without additional commentary.

A few originals, most of which are under 5k notes.

1 which broke containment (the landlord post).

My second most popular original post was me commenting on OceanGate and the Titan submersible implosion from a perspective of being disappointed with the writing of this universe.

A random few of my more popular reblog addition posts: ⋄ The 3 dates on your wrist are life goal, meet soulmate, and death date writing prompt story with a positive twist (Untitled short story). ⋄ Did-you-know about JRR Tolkien's response to Shakespeare's Macbeth? The trees actually move. (My addition being, there are TWO non-Men who take down the person who can not be slain by any man.) ⋄ That one addition to that one long thread on why Star Trek is the way it is. As a story universe, the TV verse has always been on the forefront of pushing actual representation. (My addition is about Sulu being Pan-Asian by Gene Roddenberry's design.) ⋄ Stories being predictable. (Chekov, get the gun!) ⋄ Tragedies in stories are supposed to be cathartic. (Subverting expectation should not be a goal in itself.) ⋄ Tips on how to hack your brain to be kinder to yourself. (Don't argue with people who want to be nice to you.) ⋄ A Knight's Tale, and Paul Bettany being glorious. (With me gushing about what to expect from the movie and why I love it so much.) ⋄ Tumblr discussing how some real world events sound like a setup to a horror story, and creating the beginning plot of a horror mystery movie. (I have thoughts on how to incorporate the musical horror into the movie.)

Some of my more political additions that have spread around: ⋄ Man attacks school, kills no one because it happened in the Netherlands, and he and his knives were driven off by teenagers with backpacks. (Gun control sure helps disturbed people not kill so many.) ⋄ Why the queer community call ourselves queer. (Don't help our oppressors by trying to give the word back to them.) ⋄ Thread discussing a Disney annual pass holder and the reasons why his choice makes sense for a whole lot of people. (I summarize the thread by pointing out that no matter what else you think, everyone can agree that there's a lack of walkable community spaces in the US.)

Probably missing some of my popular additions on that list, just some of the ones I could find right now.

Been a pretty good 10 years. Cheers.

[mxcat777]

So what if

Dream is sort of Shakespeare's patron, right? So would that make Shakespeare on of His™? And if so, would he reside in the Dreaming after his death instead of the Sunless Lands?

'cause if so. Consider.

He's still writing. (A lot)

He keeps up with modern literature, but keeps writing (at least mostly) in Early Modern English (that's it, right? Do I have my lit facts straight?). Imagine his recent plays littered with slang, disney references, (un)subtle references to shit that was based on his stuff that he either loves or hates, both are good.

He's kind of a favourite of Dream's. The same way Lucienne and Jessamy and The Corinthian are. He can get away with saying shit, because if he offends Dream he can turn around and start sprouting some poetry at that vain-ass bitch and all is forgiven. (In the worst cases it takes a new play about his royal majesty the Dream King and how generous and benevolent and regal he is)

Fishbowling happens, not sure what Will would do, the plot bunny didn't care.

Dream is back, all is well, he goes to the New Inn, Hob and Dream are now officially Friends.

They meet up more bc friends see each other more often than once a century. Oh yeah friends also know each others' names and such. So Dream tells Hob a bit about himself.

At some point he's like, hey hob u wanna see the dreaming?

Hob's like yES PLz??

Hob gets a tour, and from that point on usually gets the option at night to dream normally or visit the palace.

On one fateful night, Hob decides to take a stroll through the library, goes looking for Marlowe's shelf, because he kind of wonders what other stuff that genius would have written had he lived longer.

Only to (maybe literally) bump into, you guessed it, Will Bloody Shaxberd.

He stares.

Will goes 'hey'.

And then Hob goes somewhat feral.

(no he is not over it, sue him, he's allowed to hold a grudge.)

He goes off on a rant about, see, ofc ur still plagiarizing marlowe he was so much better i can't believe dream left me for you you useless twat you couldn't write shit without him so why did you get the fucking privilege of living with him and knowing him for fucking centuries i had to fight 600 years for his bloody name and i'm guessing you got it right that first meeting hm?

And Will goes oh shit it's you! And then cuts Hob off with a "you're so right! I was an absolute shit playwright before your friend helped me!"

And Hob is... Understandably lost. This was not how it went in his head.

And then Will continues, I was so nervous the time right after that meeting, I knew he was some sort of supernatural being, no clue what though, he's really not good at introductions, is he, so I sort of assumed you were too, and I was waiting for your revenge for stealing your date away, recently found out you're actually human, albeit immortal, and it was not a date, though, speaking of, have you sorted yourselves out yet?

And Hob, quite understandably even more baffled, sort of gapes for a bit.

Before very nervously denying anything of the sort.

Will just stares.

And goes, bruv, you weren't subtle then, still aren't now, spare everyone else the UST, please, for the love of god, you two need to fuck post haste.

And Hob is like, hahaha, eh, yeah, nope, fun seeing you, BYE.

So Will sighs. And goes to see Lucienne, as any sensible person would.

Lucienne sighs as well. At which point Will steps to Dream himself.

"My lord?" "Yes, William?" "Forgive my directness, but so as not to risk any misunderstandings, what exactly is your relationship with Hob Gadling?" "We are friends. Why do you ask? Is that not clear?" "Well, to be perfectly honest, m'lord, I assumed you were... Involved™." "We are not." "But you'd like to be though, right?" "You dare presume to know-" " I dare presume to know what attraction, romance, love, all that looks like, sire. I must do, after portraying it in my plays for over four centuries. After writing several hundreds of sonnets on the topic." "I-" "In my humble opinion, my lord, it is a good match. He understands you, you continue to fascinate each other, he can provide a safe place where you need not be monarch for a moment. And of course, you are quite obviously attracted to one another sexually." "WILLIAM SH-" "Oh calm down! I'm certainly not judging either of you!" "...he is attracted to me?" "..." "Is he?" "YES! Lord give me faith! Kiss him! Go to him and teleport the both of you onto a bed! Or if you want to be sappy go slow and bring him a rose, but please, for the love of the collective sanity, do something!" "But how do you know? What if you misunderstood? What if it is unwelcome? I cannot lose him!"

At which point Will turns around, leaves the throne room, goes back to the library and rant to Lucienne

"I swear I'm going to write a play about them, just to point out how stupid this is. I feel compelled to call it a tragedy, but I think it needs to have a happy ending, otherwise Lord Broodphius would get stuck on the but what if it does end in tragedy, so I suppose a comedy would be fitting, but then again, this is too painful to watch to qualify as a comedy. Tragic comedy? Comic tragedy? I'll figure it out..."

And Lucienne is like, if you'd like to perform it properly I'm sure there are a few dreams who would be more than willing to help out, take on a role.

Hob comes back to the Dreaming a few days later and finds Will up to his elbows in paper, reference books, thesauruses and rhyming dictionaries (handy things those), and empty mugs and the like.

Will looks up, somewhat manic, and is like, Hob! Great! Just the person I wanted to see! Would you help me, please?

Hob's like, sure? Kind of apprehensive, but he gave everything some thought and decided that as long as he could go on dunking on him, he could let go of most of his jealousy (cuz that's what is was, he's mature enough to admit)

Will goes, Awesome! Tell me about you and Morphius! How do you see him, what's your story, I only ever get bits and pieces from his lordship, so I'm in severe need of some context...

And Hob is somewhat suspicious, but he indulges him, and really, telling the story comes too easy, so he gets into it completely and doesn't even notice when he starts slipping into rants about Dream, about how beautiful, and magnificent, and misunderstood, and kind, and way-out-of-his-league-but-god-dammit-he-went-and-fell-in-love-with-the-bastard-anyway he is

And Will takes studious notes.

And then goes like, so some of the sonnets I've written were with you two in mind, you wanna give me some feedback? (Ahem, sonnet 24/29, some others work too, undoubtedly, but I am no Shakespeare expert, unfortunately)

And he does something similar with Dream, maybe citing Hob's dislike of him as the reason he wants to know more about him without having to bother him overly much, like, I want to set things right between us, but I need to know more about him to do that, will you help me, m'lord

And he does

And Will just sits back and takes notes as Dream also spirals into a passion fueled rant about Hob

And all those notes end up in the eventual play

Auditions for the roles happen when Dream and Hob are out on a Not Date™ in the Waking.

There are surprisingly many auditioning for Hob's role, and surprisingly little for Dream's

Until Will points out that Dream would probably be more offended by an unworthy portrayal of his Love that of himself, at which point some of the dreams bow out entirely, bc Will knows how vain their lord is, so they decide not to risk unmaking and tactically retreat

Will is in his fucking element, it's been way too long since he's properly directed a play!

Eventually Will comes up to the Mutually Pining Idiots like, hey m'lord, Hob, I've written a new play, and I've been working with some of the dreams to make it happen, do you want to see??

So they watch. They watch as two absolute fucking idiots stumble around each other, everyone on and off stage can see how stupidly in love they are except for them, and both start sweating profusely when they start recognizing their own words quoted back at them.

The end of the play is something of a direct call-out and a plea from the dreams to please just talk to each other, fuck and get married, preferably in that order, but they're not picky.

Then everyone leaves them alone for the Conversation that is most likely going to happen.

Will stays behing hiding unobtrusively in the shadows tho.

He's not about to let all his work go to waste if these idiots ty to play it off again. He will lock them in a broom closet if he has to, watch him.

They don't.

Luckily.

There are like three sentences total spoken. Then they're aggressively making out.

Will leaves the room very content about his matchmaking skills.

And hey! He got a good play out of it, if he does say so himself!

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

Yuu being a fairly cheery person, but she's talented at writing angsty fanfics and stories with heart-wrenching or ambiguous endings. People read it, and they're like, "Who hurt you?"

Belle is either a fan of her works or her main editor. She's one of those readers that angrily praises Yuu for breaking her heart (she means that affectionately.)

Gaston is just scoffing at why someone would be so affected by a piece of writing. He reads it, and an hour later, LeFou finds him sitting in front of the fireplace unnervingly still with no emotion in his eyes and Yuu's latest work on the floor. Gaston is just holding a glass of scotch that he barely took a sip from. I imagine that it's the same reaction people had to Crona's poem in Soul Eater

So I’m in love with bookworm!Yuu and I headcanon that she had the same reaction to the NRC library as Belle did with Beast’s library.

And when the club were watching her memories and Belle saw Yuu get excited over books, she was like ‘new BFF’ 😊

Yuu and the Disney characters definitely have a book club and some members include: Belle, Rapunzel, Beast/Adam, Ratigan, Quasimodo and others.

(This isn’t really part of the ask but I headcanon that Leona is well-read in Shakespeare one because he was a prince and two because of Lion King’s ties to Hamlet and as a Shakespeare fan myself I think they’d basically recreate the deleted scene in Beauty and the Beast where Belle reads Romeo and Juliet)

(Also, Belle and Yuu totally fangirl about Shakespeare together while Adam and Leona just give them looks of affection the whole time)

I can imagine that Yuu would write fanfiction (Rook and Lilia do as well) and she can either go completely fluffy and filled with the most heart-warming declarations of tender and warm love that makes you feel so elated it’s like you’re in heaven or angst that is so soul crushing that it feels like you got punched in the gut and all you want to do is hide under the covers and cry until your eyes sting.

The book club is impressed. Belle is her most loyal and devoted fan and wonders how someone so emotionally intelligent  fails to see the many many suitors who are madly in love with her.

Oh my god, Gaston! I love the fact that HoM!Gaston is basically the opposite of Hercules. The only way you’d get him to read something is to draw something on it since like Alice he believes that a book is boring/impossible to read if it has no pictures (honestly, I think that realisation is what makes Alice start to think that maybe having no pictures is not a bad thing). 

The villains decide to give her writing a try considering that they claimed her as one of them first (no, you literally didn’t. The sensational six/heroes were her friends first) (they’d argue that since she goes to a villain school she’s an honorary villain) (someone stop them before another custody battle starts).

I would give anything to see Chernobog or The Horned King be all like ‘this is child’s play’ and then you find them catatonic as they sit at their tables completely silent.

Maleficent is so proud of her. She always knew that she’d make an exceptional granddaughter-in-law. 

Daisy: You sure you can handle it, Hades? This is pretty heavy stuff.

Hades: I’m the Lord of the Underworld, babes. God of the dead? Ring any bells? I’ve met the souls and read the records of the worst of the worst. This little piece of paper is nothing.

*one hour later*

Pain and Panic: *enter Hades’ office after he locked himself in there and find him cuddling Cerberus, his shoulders visibly shaking* Uhh, boss? You okay there? 

Hades: *voice thick and cracking with emotion and it’s clear that he’s been crying* GET OUT *throws a spare box of tissues at them*

[ducklooney]

Hi! I'm creating a short story here Grandma Duck is with her family members (Donald, the 3 nephews, Scrooge, etc), they ask her to tell them one of her famous stories, and she proceds to tells a love story (Romeo and Juliet-like), in the end it's reavled that the main couple are ancestors of the Duck Family.

You got ideas (out of the existing charachters already in the Duck Family Tree) who i could use to be the couple?

Hi! I'm sorry that I didn't answer this earlier, I had obligations and the like and I'm often away (sometimes I usually just put posts or my drawings here on my side blog, so I don't get to reblog everything, but that's my problem), but I agree with you and your ideas.

To be honest as far as I know comics and every author makes their own family tree, I haven't come across anything like that yet except for one family tree that might be this one (I think Disney Tokyo artists did it):

Otherwise Donald's ancestors who would be Romeo and Juliet would be like Donald and Daisy since Donald's parents and Daisy's parents would be against the union of the two. And Donald and Daisy would go secretly together away from their belligerent parents and probably went from Italy to America. Although you could make a comic about it, it would be much more interesting and fun, unless he did it before. The only thing I found on INDUCKS is this cover by Diego Bernardo who drew it in 2020 for the German and Danish editions. Scrooge McDuck as William Shakespeare writes Romeo and Juliet, and Donald and Daisy play them. It would be interesting to see if they are Donald's ancestors, but I highly doubt it. Also Romeo and Juliet ends tragically for the lives of both people.

To be honest, I'm not sure who it could be, as each author's family tree is different, and I don't think I've found a single Romeo and Juliet-like ancestor of Donald's. However, your story is excellent in my opinion and keep writing, so if you need something, feel free to send it to me or ask if something is not clear to you.

I hope I satisfied you with your answers and I'm sorry if I left you incomplete. Feel free to ask if you want. Your idea is really great and it could be added to the story of Donald's family tree.

[brainrot--central]

@i-write-shakespeare-not-disney LOOK AT HIM

[olderthannetfic]

You're right; we need for diversity in higher ups who can tell what good writing is. By far, I think the most annoying thing about the Disney live-action remakes is that it's clear they're being made by people who fundamentally don't understand the original stories and devalue animation as an artform. Yeah, all the lost boys have to be boys because Peter Pan is about Wendy choosing to grow up and confront adulthood (as a girl) even though it's scary, which is why it starts with her being moved from the nursery with her brothers. Yeah, Eric has to save Ariel at the end of TLM because it's a coming of age story about Ariel and her father. Eric has to save her and all the mermaids at the end, to prove to her father that all humans aren't bad, and Ariel has grown up and can make her own choices (And he's the only one with any experience steering a ship at all, let alone in a storm). The Lion King worked because it was animated, so there's suspension of disbelief. If we think of them as actual wild animals, the story stops making sense. It's just Shakespeare: Hamlet/ (a little) Richard III. It's not impressive or progressive to cast POC in these productions just to improve a company's ESG score when it shows they're just too lazy to do anything new and want to refresh the IP. Now they're talking about Tiana from the Princess and the Frog as this #girlboss for working hard and not needing a man, as though the Strong Black Woman isn't a racist controlling image that we as Black women have to deal with every single day (Not to mention how they're animals for most of the movie and it demonizes an African-based religion, Louisiana Voodoo, with its racist imagery. if they wanted to actually challenge norms, they would've shown the Black woman being a damsel who needs help like everyone else). It's like diversity made by people who don't even understand what it actually means. When will it end?!

--

When will it end? In the biggest budget things made in a country with a powerful ethnic group hogging all the power, never.

[danadaria]

Tedependent fic ideas

Fuck it.

Here are part of my Ted Lasso fic ideas. Some are wips, some are just the summaries.

There's a big chance I'll complete none, or one or two at most, but maybe sharing it with the world would inspire me (or you!) to write more.

P.S 1: All of them were written pre-S3

P.S 2: Feel free to comment :)

1 __________________________________________________

"That would be your dream, isn't it? Food that makes you learn something." 

Or Ted goes to grab food with Trent, and he asks questions, and questions, and questions: About Shakespeare; the West End; the UE, Brexit, and the lettuce; the Queen and Queen, the best museums, and british series he watched with Beard in the 00s. 

And Trent is happy to provide. He was like a whole internet but with better hair, a handsome face, and a silky voice. 

Oh.

Oh.

2 __________________________________________________

"So Ted, what is in your lockdown plan? Are you going to share housing with Beard?" "I wish! But no." "What do you mean with no?!" "Well, I offered to be roomies, but he's going to lock down with Jane. He has my key in case of emergency, but he's extremely responsible and anal with health relating things, so I doubt he'll go to my house. It's too big the risk." "I see. So are you… are you going to be by yourself?" "That's the plan, cayman. Well, seeing the bright side I have most of the streaming services." Ted started to fill his backpack with the last things from his office that he may need. "Do you think I'll need these book-" "Ted" "Yes?" "Go home with me." "What?!" "I mean-! … Ted, I have a spare room, a two-floor house, and a little yard. I know it's not much, but I think it would be good for you, I mean… I won't mind the company, even less the conversation. I can offer a roof, food, books and mostly reruns of every single Disney movie ever released. What do you think?

(Or the season 3 2020 AU where I decided to get some of my favorite characters to share part of the trauma that was the 2020 lockdown, but it's wrapped in a rom-com. Because I need it.)

3 __________________________________________________

The thing is, Ted loves to know people. It is like reading a book, well, technically, listening to the audiobook version of the person in question.

And yeah, he tries really hard to actually listen, because he, better than anyone, knows how vital it is to be heard. And well, he's a curious person too. He loves when people start to brighten with a good question. It's like pushing the right switch. So he asks questions to all people. Most of them gave him the stink eye, and ignore him, but Trent Crimm enjoys questions too. Even if he has to answer them.

4 __________________________________________________

When Trent Crimm, newly Independent, started doing some freelancing at Richmond, Ted really hoped none of the guys held anything against him. What he never expected, it was Trent becoming rapid friends with Roy Kent, of all people. It didn't bother Ted. It didn't bother Ted at all.

5 __________________________________________________

"Beard said something about Trent Crimm?" asked Nathan with interest. "Well, I accidentally heard a conversation between Lara and Sara, talking about how Trent has a crush on me." "Really? They said your name?" "Well, no. But they said somethin' about him having a crush on an American coach, who gave long philosophical answers and with who he had a one-on-one interview."

Or Ted hears a rumor, he shouldn't listen to the rumor, but he can't help wishing the rumor was true.

__________________________________________________

[alex-the-nonsensologist]

Disney Dreamland - Part 1: World Galleria

I posted about my idea of a Mysteryland a while back and decided to finally post the rest of my ideas for my personal Disney Park (nicknamed Disney Dreamland; may change the name later, who knows). This outline is a mix of ideas and random commentary related to each idea (I tend to blab a lot in my writing. Sorry in advance). Some ideas are half-baked as I only have an idea how I want them to look and feel rather than function, other ideas are intentionally left vague because they are dependent on experts on the subjects (which I am not). Also, I had trouble coming up with nice-sounding names, so that's why you’ll see a lot of names that are just basic descriptions in quotation marks. Would love some feedback wherever possible!

A bit of background, I originally envisioned this park as a Disneyland in New York (it's one of my favorite self-indulgent daydreams), and that led to my park being a sort of homage to the 1964/1965 New York World's Fair by featuring some iteration of all four of the attractions that debuted there, as well as my version of Main Street being a sort of mini World’s Fair. 

Shout-out to @disneylanddilettante , I was inspired to write this after reading her ideal version of Disneyland.

World Galleria

My version of Main Street would be under a lovely glass roof to shield from the weather, and resemble a Victorian arcade. Inspired by Tokyo’s World Bazaar (their equivalent of Main Street), and in homage to similar places throughout Europe’s history, such as The Great Exhibition of 1851, Passage des Panoramas in Paris, Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II in Italy, etc. 

The architecture would be mostly Victorian with a bit of Turn of the 20th Century. To help carry the theme of “World’s Fair”, international restaurants would be featured here; their building exteriors would follow the Victorian look, but their signage, window displays, and interiors would fully reflect their respective cultures (for example, see Restaurant Hokusai in Tokyo’s World Bazaar).

The entire place would have plenty of ventilation, especially in the summer, to prevent it from feeling like a greenhouse. To help traffic flow, the street would have crossroad branches in the middle like Tokyo does, leading out into Adventureland on the left, and Discoveryland on the right. The parade does not run down this route (more on that later). This allows the center crossroads space to have special decorations for seasonal events, again just like Tokyo does. 

The entire avenue would have accessible second stories to make space for everything. I would also love to have at least one little alcove or mini-courtyard somewhere to relax, containing a small garden with a decorative fountain. 

Disney Dreamland Railroad main station: Victorian style with partial glass ceilings. Other stations will be in each of the five lands, all appropriately themed, and with dioramas in the tunnels teasing each land’s theme / attractions. I also think it would be really neat if the park’s entrance ticket booths were underneath this station.

Great Moments in Storytelling: Successor to Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, one of the four New York World’s Fair attractions. Due to personal reasons, I’m not entirely comfortable making any President, past or present, shown as a celebrity or a friendly buddy. So I decided, how about famous authors instead? Perhaps Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, or all three and more? There would also be a narrative or discussion of some kind, so it’s not just them spouting random popular quotes from their works.

“Mini Disneyland model” : The models of the Storybook Land Canal Boats are a very neat idea, but I personally prefer taking my time to see models up close, not in the blink of an eye from afar. I think it would be really cool to have a scale model of the original Disneyland as an homage, and a learning exhibit.

“Galleria Cinema”: Showcases old Disney shorts, including Steamboat Willie, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, and the Alice Comedies. Maybe on special occasions it could even showcase foreign films, like The Red Balloon.

Penny Arcade: Mutoscopes and other coin-operated games. 

World Emporium shop.

"Snack tin shop": In Asia the parks sell snacks in these absolutely GORGEOUS decorative tins. This shop could sell a variety of international snacks with unique Disney art themed to each region / culture on the tin. 

Wishing You Were Here: Stationary shop and post office. Send postcards to your loved ones. Yearly calendar with exclusive artwork available here (Tokyo’s calendar artwork is ASTOUNDING). 

For restaurants, I would include restaurants with the following cuisines: 

Japanese, as a nod to Tokyo Disney Resort (French and Chinese cuisine will be elsewhere in the park).

Norwegian, Moroccan, and Canadian, as a nod to the remaining countries of EPCOT that won’t have restaurants elsewhere in the park.

Thai, as a nod to Amphibia without specifically being IP themed, though there could be a few hidden references to the show in the decor and menu.

Greek. Interior could be themed to mythology and have a few hidden references in the decor to the animated Hercules.

There won’t be any American cuisine in this area as they can already be found elsewhere in the park.

‘‘ it’s a small world ’’

One of the four New York World’s Fair attractions. In place of the classic Disney castle, here I put "it’s a small world" as my park’s icon. If you think about it, Small World is in its own way a kind of castle, it certainly looks like one, but also a small city. I think it neatly adds on to the theming of World Galleria.  Shout-out to @pureimagineering , who also imagined Small World as a park icon, but for different reasons.

This version’s facade would be castle-sized. Color scheme could be either pastels, or white with various shades of blue, and touches of gold. Entrance and queue would be on the back of the building to leave the front free for live entertainment, and nighttime fireworks and projection shows. The main central garden plaza hub would at least be the size of Tokyo’s, but nowhere near as big as Shanghai's, who only gets away with it because their castle is so dang huge. The hub would be surrounded by a river making it an island, much like Orlando’s hub. Features include a structure inspired by Tower of the Four Winds, and fun topiaries. For my park, the parade would follow a similar route to Tokyo and Shanghai, originating from the west and wrapping around the central hub before exiting eastward. 

There would also be a back garden plaza behind the ride building, with plenty of topiaries, flower gardens, and a little river running through the garden with lovely bridges crossing over it. This area transitions into Fantasyland. There would be an international buffet restaurant and a gift shop placed on the second floor of Small World, above the ride, with the entrance also on the back of the building. The classic clock tower would of course be in front, but there’d also be a smaller version in the back for the people in the queue and the restaurant.

A World of Tastes: International buffet. Interior architecture would resemble the finale room of the ride. Buffet would feature a little bit of something from every single country featured in the ride, with emphasis on cuisine not already featured anywhere else in the park.

‘‘it’s a small world’’ Toy Shop: Does anyone remember the singing Small World Animators’ Dolls that Disney Store released back in 2013 / 2014? I would love to have this store re-release them, as well as mini playset versions (non-singing). The store can of course also sell other Disney character plush, and plush keychains in unique outfits like the ones sold in Tokyo.

The Ride Itself:

I definitely want to have a queue designed by Joey Chou like the one he did for Tokyo’s version’s 2018 renovation. He is pretty much this generation’s Mary Blair. I just love all the kinetic sculptures, the delightful murals, and star-shaped lights dangling from the ceiling. It’s all so adorable and colorful!

For the ride itself, there would be more countries added. For example, Europe could have a few more Eastern European / Slavic countries at the end to transition into Asia. Similar to Hong Kong’s version, the Asia room would also have more dolls and scenes, but rearranged so that the Middle East is in the back to better flow into the Africa room. I would also definitely add the Mandarin and Cantonese versions of the song to Asia’s audio. It would be great if there were more countries represented in Africa, or at least a portion added for the savanna, a marketplace scene, and Mount Kilimanjaro. Maybe also include audio of the song in Swahili and Zulu. I’m not opposed to a North America room, so long as there is decent representation of various Native American tribes, and Canada.

For the ride music, I’d love a version that closely resembled the soundtrack that Paris used to have. I think the instrumentation and vocals from that version is simply top tier joy-inducing. For the finale room I’d use the EPIC orchestral rendition from the Small World finale unit in Tokyo’s Electrical Parade Dreamlights.

While I myself have no problems with the dolls, I am willing for the dolls’ faces to be redesigned to be slightly more cartoony to reduce any uncanny valley.

Controversial opinion, I personally have little issue with most of the Disney character cameos that are in the Hong Kong, California, and Tokyo versions of the ride. Since most of the human characters are portrayed in doll form, and the non-humans match the stylized look of the animals throughout the ride, they tend to blend in rather well and make for a fun Easter Egg game. I will admit, some characters stand out too much, like the Toy Story gang, or had unnecessarily extravagant sets added just for their sake, like Rapunzel who had her whole tower added in Tokyo. As a middle ground, for my version of Small World, I narrowed down the Disney cameos to only 4 specific groups in homage to the movies that Mary Blair had a heavy influence on. 

Alice in Wonderland: I’m a little biased as Lewis Carroll’s Alice is my favorite book. Alice and the White Rabbit fit in well at their current location next to the UK chessboard, and are fine to leave as is. 

Peter Pan: Peter and TinkerBell flying above the audience works just fine as they are decently hidden out of view most of the time. While I think Wendy sitting on the moon is a very cute image, I’ll leave her out to keep the cameos to a minimum.

Cinderella: The current versions stand out a little too much, especially Hong Kong’s where she and Prince Charming have the castle added behind them. For my version, I would only have Gus and Jaq tucked away on the Eiffel Tower (where Mary’s cameo is hanging out), but I would also have the Eiffel Tower rendered in white, blue, and silver in the style of Cinderella Castle.

The Three Caballeros: While Donald, José, and Panchito stand out the most of the four cameos I’ve picked, they were part of a genuine cultural movement as a result of the Good Neighbor policy, not to mention warmly received by Latin America, so they’re perfectly in the spirit of Small World, and I think they’re fine to leave as is.

Starting in the hub, the five themed genre lands of the park, going clockwise, are:

Adventureland

Mysteryland

Fantasyland

Create-It-Land

Discoveryland

[turqrambles]

As someone whose taken quite a few college art history courses, Sir Daniel’s situation in MediEvil 2 is so fascinating to me. He has his own wing in the London Museum including a pedestal displaying his remains and a book recounting the tale of a knight that would rise once more to save the land from evil, so now I gotta wonder...

Just how big of a folklore figure is Sir Daniel Fortesque in this world.

Is Sir Daniel considered a Saint. Was he posthumously made a martyr by the Church. Do oil paintings from the Renaissance and Baroque period represent him with specific types of iconography, the kinds of things that people write entire books about, postulating that “Sir Daniel is commonly depicted with an arrow through the left eye in artwork of the 15th century to represent the perseverance of the holy spirit in the face of Evil” or something. Did he replace Saint George in this world and become a figurehead of Christian mythology. Did Shakespeare write a play about the Ballad of Gallowmere. Was Donatello commissioned to create a marble sculpture of Sir Daniel in Florence. Is the knight in shining armor trope in English literature now based off of the idealized version of Daniel.

...did Disney make a Sir Daniel movie in the 1950′s that later became a backbone of their brand? Could Sir Daniel Fortesque in the modern day (which he does visit in the comics) buy a stuffed animal of a Disney-styled version of himself right before he does that interview with that London historian?

[dreamingdormouse]

Context!

Hey, other parents! PSA: Many works of pop culture derive significant portions of their humor and/or meaning from familiarity with cultural touchstones. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, for instance, assumes you know who King Arthur is! Children are not born familiar with these stories. Educating your kids does not JUST mean teaching them to read and write and do math and why they have to wear a seatbelt. Familiarize them with your culture's lexicon of mythology and references, both modern and ancient, and ideally some of those of other cultures!

I read the first few pages of Howl's Moving Castle to my kids a few days ago, and on the very first page it said "In the land of Ingary, where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three. Everyone knows you are the one who will fail first, and worst, if the three of you set out to seek your fortunes." And I had to stop and give context - I summarized the fairy tale trope "Youngest Child Wins," seen in such stories as "Diamonds and Toads," "Ivan and the Firebird," most of the "Askeladd" stories, "The Princess on the Glass Hill," and non-Disney "Beauty and the Beast." I didn't tell them all of these stories, just explained that there were a lot of old fairy tales where the youngest of three siblings does much better than their older siblings, and that, at the time, that was a subversion of assumptions because the eldest was expected to inherit and to do well.

You don't have to start with the full (adult, graphic, tragic) version. Think about what references people are likely to make in person or in the media your kid consumes, and go from that. I do think my kids should know who Hercule Poirot is, but he can be on my "for later" list - partly because he's a more obscure reference, and partly because he largely figures in murder mysteries, which are less appropriate for 7-12 year olds. If my kids want old mysteries, we can go with Encyclopedia Brown instead. (Side note, recently ran into those again, shocked but not actually surprised to find out they were published in, like, the 1970s.)

And when you encounter problematic things, like period-typical bigotry of various kinds, you can discuss why those things existed and why we don't think like that, but knowing they did exist is also context.

For our family, we're working on the Grimm fairy tales, the Olympians, the Asgardians (not because of Marvel, because of Grandma), and based on their blank looks when I talked about Merlin the other day, I need to add the Arthurian mythos.

Later additions can include Anansi, Osiris and Ra, Coyote and/or Raven, Star Wars, Peter Pan, Sherlock Holmes, Shahrazad, Lang's Blue Fairy Book and some of the sequels, Robin Hood, Shakespeare, Llyr of the Long Hand, Amaterasu, Paul Bunyan (especially because great-great-uncle Paul was a logger), Bilbo Baggins, Narnia, Poirot and Miss Marple... whoo boy.

Yes I'm aware there's an English bias in what I've just listed, and that some of those are problematic in certain ways. I'm not listing everything they should eventually read, or trying to build up role models here. This is just me trying to cover the things that will form a basis for references in other stories and general conversation; "Elementary, my dear Watson" (which Homes never said, but is often quoted) means nothing without context.

[lena-rambles]

writeblr intro //

me ; lena, she/her, 19, disaster sapphic, pisces

happy things ; music and piano, the colour red, reading, autumn, puns, reinaeiry, learning, and writing of course

fiction favs ; moral ambiguity, queer themes, fantasy, historical fiction, found family, complex relationships, enemies to lovers, literature references and parallels, tragic lovers, fantasy politics, eldest sisters

other ; tag and ask game friendly, open ask box and dms, and pls send me your wips!

fav reads ; much ado about nothing (shakespeare), ballad of songbirds and snakes (collins), as old as time (braswell), the false prince (nielsen), godly heathens (edgmon)

current wip eris ; lyssa harland could almost be good: she’s determined, hardworking, honest, reliable... except for the teeny tiny little fact that she very much craves power above all.

wips //

the kingdoms ; my indulgent sprawling medieval fantasy world with no plot. includes fantasy politics, diverse cultures, conlangs, and a large cast of lovable fiends mostly centered on the terakk continent. never officially on hiatus; it's been my blorbo world since i was thirteen and i think about it all the time.

long live the queen ; a regency-adjacent royal murder mystery. it's five years after vallera's civil war, and tensions are still running high. when the queen suddenly dies, her oldest daughter believes there was more to it than simply illness. themes of grief, familial bonds, loyalty, coming of age, politics, arranged marriages, and what it means to be a just queen when all you want to do is protect your siblings. (wip intro) [hiatus]

disney but gay ; shamelessly inspired by reinaeiry's but it's gay covers. disney retellings where i try to draw more from the folktales themselves and everyone's sapphic. things i love about this series: sleeping beauty is a dream-sharing soulmate au, belle has anxiety, snow white and flora are exes, and the beast's name is amarante after patricia mckillip's "lady of the skulls". [hiatus]

other wips ; have a lot of other wips running through my brain, even some that i have no intention of returning to but still have occasional revelations about. linked is my side blog for quote, photo, etc. reblogs without context. follow + ask questions if you want lol

if you have wips with any of the above themes, tag me! i'd love to see them :)

[themarshmallownerd]

New Chapter: The End and the Beginning

Link: Chapter 4

Previous: Chapter 3

First: Chapter 1 (AO3)

A/N: At long last, this mammoth has reached its end. Now I can officially retire in peace (after I tend to the other WIPs I have lol). But this AU was one I had been wanting to do for so long, and these characters and their lore truly was the perfect cast to finally bring it to life. So a big thank you to everyone for coming on this journey with me ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Special thanks in order to @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney for the idea to add an epilogue! ily ❤️❤️❤️

Preview: Given such a deteriorating state, it was a surprise when Lottie suddenly stopped in her tracks. Somehow, she even managed to stall Natalie alongside her, effectively startling the barmaid out of her determined pace when she realized Lottie’s arm was no longer around her.

“Love? What is it?” Natalie fretted. 

At first, Lottie gave no answer. She’d become stock-still, frozen like a star that had solidified in the heavens. The only source of life in her was the troubled wrinkle that slowly stitched itself into her brow the longer she stared at the desolate shack awaiting them.

“I…I don’t know,” the princess murmured eventually. “I just got this…bad feeling, all of a sudden.”

Natalie followed her gaze, trying to see for herself if anything looked amiss. As far as she could see, there was only the sole household sitting in Razia’s shadow. Overhead, some of the crows that had been watching them from the trees started to take flight, gliding towards that very structure. 

The longer she spent simply standing there, the more Natalie could detect that there was something distinctly…wrong with the air on this side of the valley. It felt warmer than the usual climate of the Dark Lands had ever been. Although, it wasn’t warm in the comforting sense that the organic heat from the sun provided. Rather, it was stuffy and uncomfortable, prickling against her skin like the static that typically filled the air when a bolt of lightning was about to strike. 

“It might be that witch magic Van was talking about,” Natalie suggested. 

“No, it’s not that.” Lottie gave a minute shake of her head. “It’s more like…like I’ve seen this place before. In a dream. An awful, awful dream…”

Natalie didn’t know what to do with that. Honestly, she had always been of the school of thought that dreams didn’t mean anything. So, she had never been this rattled by one. 

As far as Nat was concerned, their current situation was still of the utmost urgency. They couldn’t afford to have this much pause, especially for something as mundane as a dream Lottie barely seemed able to remember now. 

The barmaid reached a hand out to cradle Lottie’s palm. “Hey,” she prompted, urging Lottie to look at her instead of the horizon. “We came all this way for a reason. We need that medicine. So…let’s at least see what the witch has to say, yes?”

Lottie glanced back at the shack, her brow still furrowed in distress. Though this time, her hesitation only lasted a couple of heartbeats. 

“Right…” she muttered in agreement. 

She shook her head once more. Then, she continued walking, keeping her hand fixed securely around Natalie’s. 

They were nearly upon the dwelling when Lottie’s energy started to drain out of her again. Her body shivered violently, despite still radiating a feverish heat. Natalie tucked her body back into the princess’s side, taking the majority of her weight from her again. 

As she dragged their bodies forward as quickly as she could, she noticed the murder of crows that had been following them start to congregate along the roof and the front porch of the witch’s shanty. A few of the bolder birds hunched their backs and fluffed their feathers up in a show of intimidation. A sign of protectiveness for the dwelling. Or perhaps a warning to steer clear of the inhabitant inside. 

Either way, the two travelers couldn’t afford to heed the sign to turn back. 

Natalie reached the porch step first, gently shooing away the crow there with the toe of her boot. As soon as she helped Lottie up onto the porch with her, the front door of the dwelling suddenly opened before them, the weathered wooden boards creaking slightly. 

No one was on the other side of the door. 

Natalie leaned forward, only letting her head cross the threshold of the door as she affirmed that it had truly opened on its own. “Hello?” she said cautiously.

She was greeted by a dozen mirror images of herself on the adjacent wall, trapped in the colorful panels on the one glass wall. The small amount of sunlight that managed to peek around the mountainside streamed through the brightly-colored panels, casting an array of matching multi-colored shadows onto the floor of the entryway. 

The glass wall seemed to be the main source of light for the shack’s interior, aided only by a couple of candles burning on the small, square table tucked against the rear-side wall. The table—much like the shelves running along the wall above it—was cluttered with an array of random trinkets and objects. Things like thick, leather-bound journals, bundles of herbs tied with string, a bowl with strange symbols painted along the side, vials containing bug corpses, and dozens upon dozens of loose, discarded black feathers. 

There was a long, thick curtain running along the fourth and final wall, keeping that portion of the shack hidden from view. Given how puny the overall dwelling was, any hope that the witch doctor was truly here resided in the notion that she was somewhere behind that. 

Natalie stepped fully inside the structure, carefully tugging Lottie inside after her. The princess followed her listlessly, now too drained of energy to focus on anything other than keeping her own head up. To anyone else, it would seem as though she were starting to nod off to sleep.

“No! No, no, no,” Natalie said frantically. In her panic, she grabbed the princess’s face roughly, urging Lottie to keep her eyes on her. Or at the very least, keep her eyes open. “Stay with me, love. We’re right here. Just hold on.”

Lottie only managed to groan in response, regarding Nat with eyes that were half-lidded and glazed over. 

They were running out of time. 

“Help!” the barmaid called into the open air of the shanty. “Please! We need the witch!”

At the last word, one of the birds from the front porch suddenly flew inside, his wings fanning the collection of dirt that had gathered along the rafters overhead. He perched himself on one of the beams supporting the width of the roof, cawing loudly at the humans below.

Simultaneously, the front door swung shut behind him, once again maneuvered by some unseeable force. 

Natalie was still reeling from that when the curtain wall on the other side of the shack was shoved aside. This time, an actual human being was on the other side of the covering, revealing themselves to be a tiny young woman that Natalie did indeed recognize—albeit vaguely—from the witch doctor’s trial years ago. 

The woman was adorned with a baggy, tan dress that looked a size too big for her, accompanied by a dirtied apron whose front pocket was bogged down by even more trinkets and herbs, which were slightly peeking out over the edge. Half of her body mass seemed to consist of her wild mane of curls, which Natalie remembered being a light, golden color at the time of the trial. Now though, they had become a matted, dusty shade from neglect in the years spent out here, stranded with no other company. And no motivation to properly care for herself. Even the rounded spectacles she wore showed evidence of little self-regard, for there was a long-running crack in the left lens, splintering the image of her eye on that side of her face. 

The crow sitting overhead began flapping his wings, descending from the rafters to settle on the rod of the curtain, uttering a series of short caws at the woman now that he was closer to her. 

The witch waved at him, resembling an exasperated mother trying to dismiss their overexcited toddler. “Yes, yes, I know you said someone was coming this way,” she grumbled. “I didn’t think they would actually come inside.”

It took Natalie a moment to realize she was talking to the bird. 

In any other circumstance, she would have asked if there was some sort of witch spell that actually allowed the other woman to understand the language of the animal (if not, the years of isolation here had surely driven her to madness). Now, however, Natalie cast her curiosity aside in favor of the more pressing matter at hand. 

“Are you the witch that was exiled by both kingdoms?”

The tiny woman scowled at that. “Well, I prefer my given name, Misty. And you are?”

“Natalie. And this is Lottie—”

“And who taught you manners, Miss Natalie?”

Now it was Natalie’s turn to be exasperated. Her patience was rapidly waning, knowing that every moment spent having to preface why they were there was another moment in which Lottie struggled to breathe. 

“Please,” the barmaid said, hugging the princess closer to her side. “I’ve heard you can cure anything. We need a cure for this.”