#i've done... most of the readings for both?

[harpieisthecarpie]

looking at how Goro Akechi became a foil of Akira Kurusu thru their childhood (attachment styles)

(Content Warnings for discussing all the stuff in Akechi's childhood specifically, bad parenting, neglect, mental illness. Take care of urselves)

waking up to the tags @1derpu2 added on another post of mine about Akechi ("#I don't think I could survive in his position") had me thinking of a 15-16 year old Akechi, and how survival even feels to him.

Because arguably Akechi has been in survival mode since he was born. Even with a mother doing her best to provide, poverty fundamentally rewrites the brain especially at such a young age−

(Tangent: Akechi's dessert blog actually reminds me of Brennan Lee Mulligan during the d20 Misfits & Magic actual play discussing his character [Evan Kelmp, an unhoused orphaned kid] ordering from desserts at restaurants in order to maximize caloric intake for his money bc stuff on the dessert menu actually tends to contain the most calories– ANYWAYS)

–and he also can feel the underlying tension in how his mother is treated, how he himself is treated, how there is no support network for them. I can imagine that's part of the lure of an ensemble kid's show like Featherman: reliable companions who take your hand rather than slapping it away.

I've done a lot of reading into attachment styles and attachment trauma (bc it's interesting and also haha ;] trauma) and it is a really cool lens to view the differences between our two Wild Cards Akechi and Akira.

adding a reblog with an attachment theory rundown! actual discussion of akechu attachment stuff below cut

There is no better fit for Akechi than a Disorganized Attachment style after finding his sole caregiver and financial (his mother) dead by her own hand after years of her focus being split by the work she needed to do for them to afford survival, before being passed around by distant relatives who viewed him with contempt, if they acknowledged him at all.

The world treated him and his mother like vermin, so of course no one else is trustworthy, of course the people who take advantage are evil. Of course everyone takes advantage. Just like his father, who is the root of this whole horrible thing (the thing being Goro's life, the thing being Goro)

His mother left him violently, voluntarily (from his pov, suicide & mental illness are complicated), so he must be someone repulsive. Incapable of being loved. If he wants others to love him, and he must in order to get close enough to his father to kill, then he must be anything other than himself.

One of the symptoms of disorganized attachment and attachment trauma is the inability to regulate emotions, leading those with it to feel things with an intensity they can't control, soothe, or explain that can fluctuate between emotions rapidly.

And doesn't that markedly fit with a kid who has awoken such disparate personas that are both him? His entire relationship with the world (there must be justice but there is no such thing as justice) and his inner psyche does explain why he brings up Hegel. If you have both Loki and Robin Hood inside you, thesis and antithesis, then isn't it a comfort to know their existence somehow makes sense? That you are synthesis rather than just chaos and pain.

Meanwhile, from the little we hear about Akira's parents and how Persona 5 frames the adults around him, the Avoidant attachment style fits best. He is fiercely independent, with such a strong sense of identity despite with the masks he wears for others that he has the true Wild Card ability. He stands his ground with his morals, even when everyone around him is telling him his life would be easier if he gave up.

He has a strong internal moral center because he was never attached enough to his caregivers that they'd be able to influence his cognitive assimilation. Why trust someone's moral judgment when you can't even trust them with your vulnerability?

This is why Akira and Akechi are so fascinating as foils, as rivals, and as people who know each other better than anyone else could. Akechi walks around as a fake, appealing version of himself that Akira sees through clearly. And Akira likes the bitter, vicious, angry version of Akechi because it's honest. That is the underlying intensity of people he knows is hidden behind the masks adults are convinced are their faces. (Where's your rage? RISE RISE RISE)

Akira and Akechi match so well not because they have a hidden ugliness, but because they view the pleasant masks people wear to excuse or ignore injustice as what are truly ugly. And their difference lies in Akira's belief that there is good in people while Akechi's upbringing has him convinced that humanity is rotten to its roots.

And Akechi wants Akira's beating, caring heart between his teeth because there is still a lonely little child in his own chest who loves Featherman and just wanted a better life for his mom. And who won't fucking die, no matter how Akechi tears the world apart to match his perception of it.

Akechi has spent years trying to kill his heart, which has done nothing but soaked his masks in his own blood.

Akira looks Akechi in the eyes, straight through those masks, and steals his heart from off the chopping block. And he keeps it close even as Akechi turns the blade on him in a rage borne of fear.

They're gay as hell thanks for coming to my ted talk. might improve after work

[noahs-blue-jeans]

Unspoken Moments

Desktop means title! this is a long one btw

I've been thinking about the unspoken moments between Byler which brings to mind that, for Season 5, they've cast young versions of Mike, Will, and Jonathan. I'm not the first to speculate that we'll be getting some Lonnie scenes, nor the first to probably suggest this, but I wanna parse it out anyway.

I think Mike and Will may have done something gay without realizing it, and Lonnie and Jonathan found them. Lonnie first, even. What could they have done? Any innocent thing lonely young gay boys would do: caught holding hands, sharing a space very closely (looking at Will's drawings in bed together perhaps). Any number of things that a fuck like Lonnie clocks as fag behavior.

And I think this could be the inflection point in both boys' sources of trauma, in regards to their internalized homophobia. A trauma that Mike took further to heart which didn't break until seasons 3 and sort of 4, when he becomes the way he is in those periods.

Parents are also, despite popular belief, not often stupid when reading their children. Lonnie is horrible and Ted Wheeler is a lame ass bitch, but they are still correct in clocking their sons' queerness the same as Joyce and Karen, who of course have a loving and accepting approach. Joyce is most explicit in accepting Will, and Karen gives Mike The Speech that many queer kids get from their well meaning parents, a big signal that she knows Mike loves will as more than just a friend.

Alongside this moment at 8 years old, I think both boys have become increasingly aware of how they behave with each other, and other moments may have happened off screen that we could see in S5 flashbacks.

Even in the 80s, little gay boys knew they are gay and liked their best friends. I have no doubt Mike--as much as Will--is aware that he loves his best friend romantically. You know how you feel about people, even at a young age, and in the moments of Mike's solitude, after spending time with El and playing at kissing, you cannot tell me he doesn't instead think about Will. That he doesn't think about when they'd play together, or watch movies just them, or when they would sit close and look at Will's drawing together. That fingers or knees would touch and they're too young to really notice the implications, but they know they like it and each other.

This, to me, adds to the many explanations for Mike's behavior in seasons 3 and 4, and why he begins to come around by the end of the latest season, since he's old enough to be physically unable to deny it anymore, and beginning to accept that he and El won't work because of how he feels about Will. I like to imagine that those few times Mike's calls got through, he and Will would exchange a few pleasantries but then they'd sit there in silence, not even realizing they're listening to the other's breathing. A tension felt across the continent, sure as the sun sets in the west.

This freaks them both out, we don't see it, and instead we see Will coming to terms with his feelings as best he can by way of The Painting; Mike, in contrast, puts on a false persona to hide from these feelings.

In conclusion! I think these two shared some unspoken, unseen moments that we will soon get in flashbacks and Vecna Visions, and we will see these boys go on the journey of accepting them and finding power in the love they've always shared.

[polyamorousmood]

Hey! I’m so sorry if you don’t respond to asks like this but I was wondering if I could get a little advice?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 months now and I went into it making it clear that I was poly and he knew that (hes monogamous) and we’ve been talking about compromises around being a poly relationship. He keeps on sort of swinging between being okay with it and then getting sort of self conscious. The way he sees it is that if he was to date someone outside of me then I’d need to date someone else so it’s fair but if I was to date someone outside of him that we both weren’t dating then he’d be anxious about me leaving him.

I’m not trying to invalidate how he feels because I understand how terrifying something like this can be and I get that a lot of this stems from being cheated on in a previous relationship and that he is quite an anxious/ self conscious person. I just don’t know how to help him see that I love him and even if Ryan Reynolds himself stared dating me I wouldn’t leave him because he feels like my forever partner you know? God this turned into a rant I’m sorry

This is a late response, and I've answered similar questions before, so I recommend checking those out for further reading📚 (especially this one), but there are a few key🔑 points I want to emphasize for you specifically

Start taking time apart now. Regular time ⌚where you are unavailable (and out of the house). This will be common if you get another partner, and it is only one more thing for your boyfriend's brain to go "this is different than usual, they're pulling away, this is a problem, AAAAAAA" if its not normal. Its made much easier if you being unavailable sometimes is normal. Take a cooking class or become a regular at the library or something.

You will never be able to completely assure him you won't leave. This is one of those things that's a bitch to hear, but its true. And would be true even if you were monogamous. Your boyfriend probably needs to do some independent work on that (I really like this worksheet📃✍️, done slowly). That doesn't mean you shouldn't reassure him you're in this for the long haul! That doesn't mean you shouldn't still help! Just that you cannot 100% solve the problem, no matter how committed you are.

Don't let him waffle forever. This is so much easier said than done. And you should allow him some space to sort this out, because it is a lot for most people! But you made this clear from the beginning, and if you wake up one day and suddenly you've been dating him exclusively for 4 years and he's still not sure... something went wrong. Express to him that - while you understand his concerns - it does still hurt to be in limbo, or that he'd doubt your love so much, or whatever else about it is hard for you. Its a tricky balance⚖️ to strike, but you can and should be able to express your feelings while respecting his.

"The way he sees it is that if he was to date someone outside of me then I’d need to date someone else so it’s fair" do you feel this way?? If not, tell him to cut it out with putting extra restrictions on it lol

Best of luck, my friend. 🍀 You can do this!! And so can your boyfriend!

[boombambaby]

Anticipating Malina's panic from his threat to read one of his infamous POEMS in front of the entire village, Kuzco is ready for her when she rushes forward to stop him. Disbelief, excitement and a myriad of other emotions course through him at the realization that the moment is finally, actually HERE. He's really about to hopefully make his dream a reality!

Giddy laughter bubbles out of him as he allows her to lower both his hands and the scroll, revealing his beaming smile inch by inch until they're face to face once more. After a moment he finally releases the scroll, paying no mind to the parchment rolling carelessly down the hillside, in favor of turning Malina's hands over so that he can twine their fingers together.

The ceremony is over, remember? They can finally break the 'no-touchy' fast!

Staring at her anxious expression and feeling nothing but affection, the world narrows down to a pinprick around them. Villagers, friends, family-- everything falls to the wayside, until it's just the two of them standing on this hilltop, and its once again like they never left that room. During his speech, he noticed their former classmates and friends gathered together at the back of the crowd, and he wonders now whether any of them saw this coming.

Despite his insistence that Malina was going to become his Empress, there was no real guarantee that this day would ever come. In his mind it was certain, but the reality of the situation would have appeared to everyone else that Malina had simply taken pity on him. Realizing that he was an out of place new student who just so happened to be a royal, surrounded by peasants ( none of whom particularly liked him, after how carelessly he treated peasants before his rude awakening ), she likely thought it to be her duty as the captain of every club, A+ student and most popular girl in school to make sure that he made it through without suffering . . . too much. A personal mission, of sorts.

Little does either of them know, however, that their friends and classmates saw right through them both from the very beginning. Anyone with eyes could see the feelings they had for one another, with Malina and Kuzco ( and Kronk ) near inseparable when she wasn't busy with cheerleading or any of her clubs. He tagged along behind her like a lost puppy, and it was obvious how much she enjoyed being a part of ( and curtailing ) his antics. This has been years in the making, and if either of them bothered to look in this moment, they would notice the looks of excitement on their friends faces as they watched the moment unfold.

Tearing himself from his inner thoughts, Kuzco gives her hands a squeeze as he leans in, glancing around for a moment as if unwilling to let anyone else hear him when he whispers through a soft smile; " Just play along with it. This bit kills! " a throwback to her Bloom Ball, and yet another reminder of how far they've come.

Out loud so the village can hear, " Ohhh, I get it. You want me to wait until later when we're alone to read you the poem. Gotcha. " He teases, just to make her blush before clearing his throat to continue. " I know we haven't known each other for that long of a time, even though it feels like it's been forever . . . well. I didn't know YOU, since-- you know. Peasant. But ! you obviously knew ME, the awesome Emperor who rules this Kingdom. " A loud ' KUZCO RULES! ' comes from the crowd, everyone's favorite pudge-muffin making himself known before he's quickly muffled by their friends. " --and I know I've been an incredibly good looking handful in that amount of time, but . . . I want you to know, that this? All of this ? "

He lets go of one of her hands to gesture at himself; the warpaint on his face, the intricately designed traditional outfit, complete with the ceremonial feathered crown, and then finally to the hillside with the peasants gathered below them. " -- I couldn't have done it, any of it without YOU. You were the only one who cared about me enough to make sure I stayed on track. That Yzma didn't actually succeed in her hairbrained schemes to get rid of me, that Moleguaco didn't fail me out of spite and that I graduated after I turned myself into a chicken to try and get out of it. " He cracks a smile at the reminder, and the memory of Malina carrying chicken!Kuzco through the crowd to stop Yzma before she was crowned Empress. " We've had our ups and downs, and I know you said you would never worship me, but . . . "

His free hand slips into the hidden pocket of his tunic to retrieve a small golden box. When opened, it will reveal a stylish, braided golden ring, inlaid with the same turquoise as his earrings surrounding a large, ruby gemstone in the middle. Kuzco bends to one knee, presenting the box to her with his free hand and squeezing the hand he's still holding as he finishes his big, important question. " -- I'm hoping you changed your mind. . .

-- Malina, . . . will you finally become my Empress ? "

Kuzco's sudden announcement at the peasants interrupts her thoughts and she turns her head to look at the crowd. She then spotted her parents and sister from up the hill, next to them was Pacha's family. She had given Chicha a confused look as she mouthed what it seems to be like: 'What's up with him?', referring to her crazy boyfriend while he's there speaking. She couldn't see Pacha's wife response because she had turned her head abruptly to stare in disbelief at Kuzco, who had just mentioned he had written a poem. She is even more mortified when she looks at the length of the scroll.

For the love of Inti... not again. She could hardly survive the 'Why does Malina like me?' poem he had dedicated to her at school. To be honest, while she secretly finds his poems adorable... in a way... they don't make any sense, which makes her feel ashamed for both him and herself. She loves him, but she'd run seven mountains away if she ever let him bully her in front of her family, friends and strangers. Malina gets closer to Kuzco as fast as she could, places her hands atop his and gently lowers the scroll so he won't be able to read beyond those three words. "Ok ok! There's no need to do such thing before asking an important question, your highness. You just-" She pauses herself and leans in closer to him. "Kuzco... what the hell do you think you're doing?" She whispers, narrowing her eyes at him.

Even if he gets her on her nerves with his antics and that stupid but attractive smirk of his which give her the urge to kick his royal butt, Malina has to admit she can't see herself being anywhere else but by his side.

[goodplace-janet]

my executives aren't functioning, help me decide which task to focus on. both are due tomorrow at midnight

[fictionadventurer]

There's something about reading really great writing that's so relaxing. You can just sit back and let the words wash over you, knowing that you can trust the writer.

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

re: the last post i reblogged bc i am realizing just how much i yapped in the tags and i do not wish to subject the wider tumblr public to that rant LMAO

[xena-im-a-thespian]

Hard agree! People don't like hearing about it because it's taboo and "icky" or they're afraid that awknowleging it reads as condoning it. But the thing is it's there, mostly subtextually, though not always, see: "If it was legal to marry my sister I'd have done it already" lol.

People have called me gross as well but it's very much woven into the story. The nuance that seems to get lost is framing. Like when I say Wynonna has a thing for her sister I'm not saying that's a healthy thing or something that should be normalized/glorified and neither is the show. I'm saying she's kinda messed up and it makes sense that she's messed up in that way. The reactivity around it is to the point where I've hardly anylized it on my main blog, which to be abundantly clear to anyone who may be reading, I would never in real life encourage someone to engage in a sexual or romantic relationship with their sibling, even in adults the emotional power dynamics still have a high risk of putting strain on consent. Please do not conflate my willingness to explore taboos within the safety of fiction with condoning any violation of consent or even with encouraging high risk relationships in the real world.

On top of the repressed bisexuality Wynonna has pretty severe trauma and doesn't form secure attachments, she's very avoidant in most of her relationships, but with those she let's closest to her she will often become anxiously attached. Waverly was the one really stable connection through a lot of Wynonna's life. We know her mom wasn't affectionate but was critical, her dad was severely abusive, and after she shot Ward by accident she was a social pariah in the town, plus we see in episode one that Gus openly saw her as so mentally ill she should be kept away from Waverly. Meanwhile Waverly not only loved her through it all but knew about the revenants and believed her when no one else in the world did. I think it's feels like a kinda real thing to happen for someone put through all that to attach unusually to their sibling. And I'm sure it didn't help to go years without seeing her and then be confronted with her being fully grown. See their first encounter in the series: "Hey sis. You grew out your... Hair." *wynonna gestures vaguely near her chest*

And maybe part of it is that people are afraid of their hero having this flaw. But Wynonna's flaws are why we love her. Even when we don't like particular flaws, like when she had her big fight with Waverly, they make her feel real. People don't want to look at Wynonna having an attraction to her sister because it so extremely taboo, it's a "she's not that kind of person" sentiment. Which is in a way both right and wrong. Because yeah it seems apparent to those not so adverse to pondering taboos on an intellectual level that Wynonna is attracted to her sister to some degree, but it's also true that she really isn't "that kind of person." Because there's a difference between feeling attraction and violating consent. So yes our beloved and realistically flawed hero has an attraction to her sister, but she obviously also would never violate Waverly which is what people associate with a word like incest. Instead she just tucks it away as she does with all the feelings she doesn't know what to do with and we get little glimpses. Wynonna's worst crime in that department is having a poor verbal filter and being kinda codependent, ultimately Wynonna's little crush on Waverly is harmless. Something she doesn't act on and probably feels immense shame about. Yes because of her discomfort with her orientation but mostly because there is nothing Wyononna regrets more than times she's hurt Waverly and there's nothing she fears more than hurting her again, so much so that she left for four years with little to no contact. It would be unthinkable to Wynonna to ever put hands on her sister in a way Waverly didn't want. Which even when you remove the element of attraction that dynamic of Wynonna wanting so much to protect Waverly and thinking so low of herself that she thinks Waverly needs to be protected from her is part of what makes their family dynamic so compelling, and for those with strained family dynamics in their upbringing it's extremely resonant. I ramble but all that to say that Wynonna having these socially unacceptable feelings may be considered a flaw but at the same time it in no way takes away from her role as a hero and a protector to Waverly.

The thing is in my fiction I do enjoy this kind of thing, I do enjoy shipping sisters, what can I say I like some twisted drama, I like that in a pair that aren't sisters too (not that I'd ever get the same hate for shipping characters like Villanelle and Eve, or for loving the rift arc in Xena. Though considering Wynonna has never tried to kill Waverly of her own accord it's arguable that Wynonna/Waverly is the tamer ship in question). And I know that kind of thing isn't for everyone, and can even be triggering for obvious reasons, but when it comes to Wynonna Earp I do get annoyed. Because in this case it is part of the show. I don't have any expectation for other fans to enjoy it like I do, I don't even expect everyone to feel a need to think about that aspect of the story, it's uncomfortable! But the fact that it's one of those flaws that give Wynonna depth make it something people should be allowed to analyze.

Yes referring to it as a choice was me saying it was intentional. I almost feel crazy analyzing it sometimes because I'm surrounded by people either just not seeing it or telling me I'm gross for interpretating things that way. But then I look at a scene like this and think how Melanie absolutely leaned in and closed her eyes and how that, like basically everything that ends up in a final project is a choice that came from somewhere. If it didn't come from a writer it came from a director, if not a director from the show runner or Melanie, and even if only one of the takes was played that way it still got chosen in post and approved by the director and producers.

I would love to read what you wrote about it!

Choices were made with this kiss. It really could've have just been a twisted thing a demon did to Wynonna, they could've had her recoil, or be completely frozen, but no, Wynonna looks down at Waverly's lips, closes her eyes and leans in!

There's such a moment of relaxing into it before the panic of 'omg I'm kissing my sister' sets in, plus whatever discomfort being possessed by a demon brings

[owlbelly]

"the warm one, the cold one and the cat"

Fitz, Beloved & Realder from @tragediegh's unbelievably good, book-length Realm of the Elderlings fanfic Of Cats and Closed Doors. made it for @roostercrowned's Fitzloved zine (coming soon!) which is all b/w but maybe someday i or someone cooler than me could color it, i saved the line art separately just in case. was gonna hand-draw a border but found this lovely antique public domain border instead, i've decided it's dragon scale-feathers.

[ceaselessims]

reading jon's asexuality depicted in several different fics is so interesting to see how people adapt it into the works, especially ones that do include some sexual content, and has helped me learn that in my opinion jon is very much not into the idea of being touched in a sexual way, but he does get an enormous amount of non-sexual pleasure out of voyeurism, of watching his partner enjoy themselves, of learning intimate details about their bodies and their desires. just insatiable desire to Know everything about them, even their sexual preferences even if he's not an active participant.

[britneyshakespeare]

not until i started reading restoration and post-restoration plays written by women like aphra behn and susanna centlivre did i fully understand romantic comedy on another level. the male love interests are just built better. like as much as i love a midsummer night's dream, if i were hermia i would never risk death or a forced life in a nunnery for lysander. no. hell no. he's just ken. but if i were miranda would i risk my thirty-thousand-pound inheritance to elope with sir george airy? if i were leticia would i contemplate leaving behind my country and my hated old husband i was tricked into marrying the second i learn that belmour is still alive, to live with his banished ass in exile? hm. let me thin—yes.

[billpottsismygf]

.

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[kyouka-supremacy]

Not to say one can't consume media they don't 100% agree with (I do the same so like), but you talk a lot about how the core views of TPN vs BSD change your entire way of enjoying these two, and I was wondering what drew you in into BSD if there are so many aspects of it you disagree with?

(Not meant as an attack or as a questioning of you enjoying it, I always am interested in your analysis so this is just out of curiosity, and also I am planning to pick up TPN again sometime this year)

[sysig]

My printer hates me :) (with many thanks and credit to @niennanir as before)

Gosh aren’t they gorgeous tho ♥ Especially the latest and largest, though I have to give all the credit to the paper on that one haha, it’s stunning IRL, I could almost stare at the gold lattice forever rather than read, but I’m so happy with how it turned out between the pages as well!

Quick showcase of the new additions! :D

My Drinking Game as another test run, I got the spacing how I wanted it! Yay! It’s so much handsomer and less cramped! Also I gotta say, if it wasn’t such a large usage of paper, this would be my ideal way of checking for typos - I found a couple after setting it down to ink lol, they’ve been fixed now at least ♪ Paired here with the emerge, transformed three-parter, one of my all-time-favourites <3 I reread it the night I finished it and cried again, a little bit of tender mercy always wrecks me hhhh ♥ There are so many beautiful evocative lines! I’m so happy to hold it ♪ And as you can see above, that was the one that got the cute little ghost dust jacket :D

Another test run of what I’m calling volume 1 of my Vargas Drabbles lol, so not including Have you lost your mind? since that one’s currently unfinished. I do fully intend to print it once it’s done tho :3c Hopefully that one will cause me fewer problems! I hate measuring, so I may have flubbed two covers before finally getting this one into good enough shape XP And my red yarn is still in storage so >.> Did I go purchase another ball of red yarn? I’ll never tell. You can’t tell me it doesn’t look great as a bookmark tho <3

And my current happiest! Ah!! It turned out fantastic on all counts! The cover paper obviously, as I couldn’t Not lead with that, but also the size of the spine and the way the pages settled against each other while glueing - I used a different type of paper for this one and I think I’m completely converted over, it feels amazing to work with. Whatever I was using before had to have been like 15lbs lol, I’m literally just using normal 20lb printer paper but it feels and looks and behaves so much nicer <3 The size of Helix also allowed for a slightly larger bookmark, which was perfect because we had this soft gold ribbon that was all of a couple millimeters wider than the other ribbons/yarn I’d been using, and it looks so so so pretty with the gold detailing!! I’ve put it between Ch. 1 and 2 and getting to see the actual physical size differences of the chapters is so fun ♥

[thelonelybrilliance]

55 books read so far this year and I am wondering if I should increase currently goal (60) to 65?