#i've been holding out on you guys
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He is a bad boy with a tainted heart / And even I know this ain't smart
#i've been holding out on you guys#ive had this saved for months since i found it#OP is a blessing#᛭ — [VISAGE] violence clawing at the soul [KAZUTORA HANEMIYA]#᛭ — [VISAGE] bearer of sin and punishment [SHUJI HANMA]#᛭ — [VIDEOS] the performance is about to start
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oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!
Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?
#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#Club penguin#ask#I've drawn a lot of strange crossovers for MDZS but this one really takes it up a notch#I saw this ask and thought “yeah why not. I've been meaning to do style studies. Let's experiment.”#And the moment my pen hit my tablet I was struck by the need to make it even worse.#Perhaps I am just nostalgic for club penguin and pengu but I think there is something magical about them holding hands.#Anyways I think younger WWX would have loved club penguin. It's the joy of the minigames and hanging out with your friends online.#Lan Wangji could never get past the fact the 'Ask your parent/guardian!' part of registration.#Either because he knew Lan Qiren would have said no *or* because he asked once and got turned down.#Lan Xichen probably was like 'Hey I can help you with that :)' to which LWJ said no because that was breaking the rules.#But if I *had* to put wangxian in a club penguin AU? Yeah 1000% it's LWJ as a mod and WWX as a notorious (nootorious) griefer.#WWX would be trying to speed run how fast he can get banned or how much he can get away with.#Getting removed and returning over and over earns him the 'necromancer of CP' title in the community. Loathed by many.#Meanwhile LWJ is about to seriously consider doxxing this guy just to get him to stop making his volunteer hobby less of a nightmare.#Cue 10 years later. They meet up on the ice flow on the last day before the servers get shut down. They have a genuine heart to heart.#Three years later on Club Penguin rewritten: two grown men decide to relive their childhood one more time.#Fate draws them to the same server.#I ask again. Do you think love can bloom on the digital sea ice?
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i'm looking for some bts x reader ao3 recs i'm talking your absolute favourite member x reader fic give me the good ones the one that you can't get out of your head the ones that stole your heart i wanna binge read something...
#i've been exploring ao3 this week#no idea how the searches work soooo help me out#found some good ones but i wanna hear from you guys#i feel like there's some diamonds out there that i haven't got to read yet#bts ao3 recs#maybe some jungkook?!?!#maybe some yoongi??!?!#oohhhh i'd love some hoseok recs#hmmmmmm some namjoon recs would be lovely#uhhhh give me seokjin rec please#oh i gotta get some jimin recs toooo#don't hold back with the taehyung recs#send me recs?
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just some 🥥 related sillies i've made for that fic we all know.
#durarara#izaya orihara#shizuo heiwajima#shizaya#a cheap imitation#i made a thing#i've been holding off on posting these here for so long whoops#i'm so shy... check out my lemonade guys#i've been very motivated to make various things for this fic as a result of this book club i've been hosting for my friends#i actually made the first image (not the video) like two years ago?#back around when i first read the fic and started being annoying about it to my friends#never posted it though because the shizuo i drew was ugly!!!#and the shizuo i drew for the second image this time around is still ugly!! unfortunately :(#well anyways if it isn't clear the images are both for chapter 19 while the video is for chapters 28 to 29 and a little bit of 30 lol#also i know izaya's actual problem isn't fucking shizuo but kissing him lol but it was funnier to keep it like this#you can check out more of this deranged behaviour over at my twitter of the same name#i know not everyone wants to go there though especially with the current situation...#so i'll try to bring over the more memorable stuff to post in batches over here which i think is the stuff i did any art for#since i've made a lot of multimedia type things dedicated to particular chapters as “marketing” for my friends#but i'm not sure they'll make much sense out of context so#my plan is to compile all of everything i've made for the fic during the book club into a powerpoint that i'll try to keep for posterity#because ngl i feel i went kinda hard with certain things that maybe only two people will appreciate#but i'll do it for those two people out there#also it's a whole book club for aci!!#*i'd* want to see what some random people have been up to with a book club for this fic#be the change you want to see in the world#side note i wonder if having so many fucking tags on your own post is a bad look...#idk it's so much clutter but i have too many things to say!!#i look back at my own previous tags and i physically can't bring myself to read them ahhhh#i hope anyone's enjoying them anyways
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Living with Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors
Me: *Is super stressed over life.*
Trichotillomania: Time to pull some hair! C'mon. You won't even notice you're doing it. It'll make you feel better.
Me: NO. *Spends 4 days putting hair in a mini twist protective style* There.
Dermatillomania: Hey. Your hands are free. And restless. And dry... Pick your skin. Bleed. Bleed.
Me: Stop! *Starts up a new crochet project to keep hands busy.* Ok cool.
Onychophagia: Hi hi. Your nails are.... perfect biting length... you should do that.
Me: Noooooooooooo *Paints nails.*
Dermatillomania: Oh look, you got some nail polish on your skin. Pick it off... now pick some more...
Me: SDJAKFDSJFKLDKAFDJKLAFJDKSAKLFDASL
#is this tmi? oh well. this is the tmi website#trichotillomania#dermatillomania#onychophagia#bfrb#body focused repetitive behavior#ocd#guys guess what? my therapist all but prescribed that i get a manicure to prevent picking at my skin#apparently after a year with this therapist i never mentioned my finger picking until this week#and she was like 'ok since you find it tough to paint them yourself get a manicure. self care and preventative'#because my cuticles are horrific due to me constantly picking at them and the sides of my fingers#so i've always been too embarrassed to go to a nail salon and my therapist was like 'exposure therapy!'#currently my nails are sloppily painted because i can't hold a brush still and they're already chipping after like 5 days#actually they probably started chipping on the second day honestly.#i need to redo my twists a bit which actually satisfies the trich urges since i'll be running my fingers through my hair to do it#but i won't actually be pulling. but also. i will be getting the shed hairs out. so. kind of fulfills that.#but right now my nails are long enough for me to feel them sometimes hit my keyboard. which. isn't normal for me.#and despite the nail polish i feel the urge to bite them shorter ahhhhh#anyway if you're Black with natural hair and have trich i HIGHLY suggest mini twists since it helps deter me from pulling#sure i have to redo it every few weeks but seriously. game changer. harder to find individual hairs to pull.
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girl help the beautiful man at the food truck flirted with me and shook my hand with his big gorgeous hand and held on a little longer than he needed to (but in a good way) and then he gave me a free mango lassi and THEN left his food truck unattended to go get me a bottle of water after i asked if there was any water available and after all that all he wants in exchange (other than payment for the food i ordered) is for me to rate him on google maps. but girl i don't even know how to do that
#how hard can that be you may ask. well for your information he told me my smile is beautiful and he was very sweet AND#he has a gorgeous beard and voice. so. kind of distracted at the moment.#this is nice. lately the attention i've been getting from strange men is like. a guy on the bus offering me his half-eaten ice cream tube#(didn't even know ice cream came in tubes) and a guy propositioning me for $5 while i was waiting to cross the street#so for a man to give me free things & hold my hand & ask how i am doing WHILE being handsome at me was a little much all at once#i was so overwhelmed i made such a fool of myself. i almost gave him MY ADDRESS????#get yourself together @me#anyway i guess i have to figure out how to rate places on google maps now. i didn't even know that was a thing people did#my posts#even though i know how flirting with customers works when you work in food service it does not make it any less overwhelming#to be on the receiving end of. i used to flirt with customers all the time. but i am not drop dead gorgeous so.#watch where you point that smile sir i am going to expire
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Shop update!
FINALLY, I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THESE! I've had these popsicle charms in the works for a while and happy to announce they'll be up in the shop this Saturday, February 17th!
A few of these did come with some cosmetic damage (a couple of the Dipplins show acrylic cracks on the interior with no leakage) so those will be in shop at a discount (B grades)! The stock of all of these is fairly low, but if there's interest for a restock they might make a return to the shop in the future!
Notice, these are in hand with me, but I may wait to ship orders with popsicles due to cold weather! Severe cold can cause cracks as mentioned with the B Grades and oil leakage in severe cases. I want these little guys to find homes while intact as possible, so for their safety, shipping on these orders may be delayed until the weather is in a warmer range!
I'll also be running preorders for these Professor Layton keychains alongside the little guys! They'll be sold individually but both charms can slot together by the clasp and shape to form a completed puzzle! Preorders should last for about two weeks!
Also coming to the shop is some of the leftover keychains made in collaboration with the friendly neighborhood enabler Sunny! These are also very very limited, so if you missed out on these before, here's your second chance!
That should cover everything regarding the shop for this weekend! For any questions, feel free to send an ask/DM, and like last shop update for EU residents, let me know if you'd like an EU listing posted for VAT! Thank you!
#merch info#pkmn#alcremie#snom#dipplin#pla#rei#professor layton#pl#luke triton#EEEEEEEE you have no idea how long I've been waiting for these little guys#i started having these made in SUMMER#it's so nice getting to hold them at long last#anyway YEAH looking forward to sending these out :D#rambling
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you�� and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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i will never stop bitching about the softening fandomification of gale and yes a big part of this is that through an odd sequence of events i ended up romancing him on my betray-the-grove playthrough and became very invested in the narrative of tragic moral failures that i constructed from that
but also it's that, if you want the Devoted Good Guy True Love Domestic Fluff... Wyll is right there.
#i haven't even openly complained about the amount of fatherhood/pregnant tav stuff that's out there#you guys have no idea how much i've been holding back#shoutout to the sickos in my groupchat who are REALLY fielding the brunt of my haterism#might delete this post we'll see
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Recently bought the chickens a rat-proof feeder because the world's biggest pack of rats has moved in and I've had enough. Training the chickens to use it is going well, if slowly. (It would be a lot faster if I still lived with my chickens, or at least lived closer than 30 minutes away... 😅 I can't be there all the time to work with them.)
Midnight, however, refuses to engage with the thing and instead stands next to it looking cranky while she watches the young'uns eat.
#unfortunately the seller forgot to send me the part that makes the door close softly 🙄 he'll send it soon tho#it would definitely be easier to teach the chickens that this contraption is safe if it didn't slam closed#it would probably also be easier if they'd ever eaten out of a feeder of any sort ever in their lives 😅#midnight has been eating off the ground for 11 years and doesn't seem keen to eat out of some newfangled noisy tin can#but hopefully it'll get easier#if the chickens get hungry enough they'll eat out of anything i figure#anyway the star of these training sessions is definitely tofu. she's very shy so i didn't expect her to try it so quick but#apparently she'll do anything for bread scraps!#midnight#tofu#crow#oh yeah more quick notes#the front panel on the feeder is open in these photos bc i was still in the process of adjusting the spring tension#also I've since rearranged the bricks so it's easier for the chickens to stand in front of it#i reeeeally hope this works bc. you guys. the rats are SO bad#i was at the end of my rope i was seriously almost ready to simply get rid of all the chickens i was so stressed#things haven't been easy for me regarding all my animals i had to leave behind when i moved. i miss them every day#I'm also so not used to living in a house without a single animal. I've always had pets around til now#i want a cat but I'm holding out hope that i can convince my parents to give me MY cat. my dad refused to let me take her#and I'm worried about her. she needs more specialized care and she will never receive it in that house#sigh anyway. i have a lot on my mind
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I don't think we talk enough about the pain of your favorites having fanart in the negatives and barely enough panels that are usable for anything
#tbd.#◜✧ . ❪ ooc. ❫#Me holding onto Nikolai for dear life bc he's the ONLYYYYYY ONE who actually has stuff to pick from!!!!! My go-to muse if you will#Soma or Naotora or Tobias or literally Any Of My Other Muses on the other hand............ I need to start having talks w their mangaka atp#Trying to find smth to work with for any of them feels like a harder pursuit than me doing research for my thesis last year LMAODOSAHUSAIDH#Clearly not MY fault for choosing side character n56. It's not on me it's on the MANGAKA for not giving them color spreads & better panels#The chrisphobia these days has seen a troubling rise smh......... <- guy who will die if he's not acting dramatic about smth this minor#I've been wondering how it's like to rp a popular/protag muse since 2014 and I have yet to find out ADHGASDASDHASDASDHK
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traitor to the cause forgets national holiday every year KILL HIM
#just realized i wrote may instead of marsh lmao. fuck it#trans day of visibility#trans day of eating food#tdov#tdov 2024#transgender day of visibility#trans#transgender#lgbt#gay#my art#another year eh#still in pretransition purgatory (get me tf out!!!)#idk man past year's been bad. last time i showered was july i'm goin 9 months strong 9 months weak 9 months decrepit#i manage to go through the motions with not much else in the way of progress. eat sleap shit piss rinse reuse recycle#trans day of eating food is shaky too this year. just found out yesterday i can't eat a snack anymore that i've liked since i was a kid#discovered a new love for green beans though. everything in balance#with my living situation getting more unsafe i've been thinking a lot about asking my neighbor if i can stay with him and his family#cause i don't like... see people other than them anymore so i don't know anyone else i can ask lol#and maybe i can get my shit together and start transitioning if i get out..... it's the least i need to do anyways#at least i gotta ask if he would be willing to oversee my funeral in the event of it cause i do nnnnot trust my next of kin with that shit#go watch youtube “Protecting Trans Bodies in Death” by Caitlin Doughty. contains important info for anyone really but#especially so for the titular transengendered individual#write your will... OK?#it doesn't have to be a bummer do it with a friend make it a girls night boys night hotties sleepover#death mention cw#wish i had more to say on the topic this year that wasn't a downer. i'll see what the next year holds#and hey... if a guy like me isn't giving up a motherfucker like you sure as hell shouldn't... adios & bon voyage my compatriots. SALUTE
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(´･ᴗ･ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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Clive
CLIVE !!!! Give it up for my guy who does NOT know how to hold a bucket !!
That man has 9 qualities and holding stuff isn't one of them !!
#The worst part is that I actually do that :')#Because our buckets are old and broken plus it's fun you know ??#But you should only pick the bucket up and carry it around#NEVER do this while holding it above your head omg you're 100% going to drop it#And then#You'll kick the bucket#Alright I'll see myself out-#But fr I love this guy ;^;#The silly <3 He's so funny what a guy#clive dove#professor layton and the unwound future#professor layton and the lost future#unwound future spoilers#lost future spoilers#I've been meaning to send you asks but I always get too shy....
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Today's NSR Trivia: Rare(?) DJSS + DK West Art
Likely due to being the first proper boss in the game, DJ Subatomic Supernova has a lot of unused/cut content, including a theme for a nonexistent "approach" level (which can be heard in the "NSR Approach Megamix"), cut voice lines, and no debriefing profile.
While the official twitter has shared what this hypothetical debriefing would have entailed, I don't think the unused art for his profile has ever been posted through a first party source or exists in the game's files.
However, it is viewable in a Steam trading card.
Similarly, DK West, who also lacks a proper debriefing, is a part of this set and thus also has unique art only shown in these trading cards.
Whether this art was drawn specifically for the trading cards or if the art existed prior is currently unknown. (Though I personally suspect the latter.)
#nsr#no straight roads#dk west#djss#dj subatomic supernova#i've been working on other stuff#but nothing i can really post#so here's some trivia i found that you may or may not enjoy#we've had the unused profile for a while#and access to the trading cards for as long as EE has been out#but i've never seen them posted so here ya go~#since i can't talk about NSR without bringing up my favorite guy:#i think it's funny that the DJ is the one instance where kliff would have blatantly told B2J to beat a man to death#it's like the opposite of the yinu situation#'no you don't have to murder this child just destroy everything she holds near and dear to her heart m'kay thanks :)'#for the dj he's just:#'kill him'#i don't think DK West has an unused debriefing because he was never supposed to be a part of NSR#(even at early stages of conceptualization)#thus kliff would have no reason to gather data on him#but i still wonder what it would have been like~
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