#i've been fucking around with this for like 3 hours
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omg I'm drooling over the Yandere Pirate fic. But it's kinda got me curious - who do you think is the worst guy you've written? Who's the absolute biggest bastard?
(On the other end of the spectrum, I think Boyfriend yandere is still the sweetest)
Hoo boy have I written some awful men. I think Yandere! Pirate is pretty terrible because he masquerades his own lust and cruelty as kindness but he's nowhere near the worst. Let's rank 'em.
5. Yandere! Stalker/Cop is a nice guy most of the time, and as a boyfriend he's pretty great. But it's his stalker persona that gets him on this list. He's left your pet's head in a box for you to find. He's broken into your house more times than he can remember. He's threatened and frightened you, all for the sake of getting you in his arms.
4. Yandere! Cowboy is mean, possessive and overly territorial. Instead of asking you out for a dance or bringing you flowers, his idea of courting is pinning you against a wall and finger fucking you until you're shaking and crying and begging him to be gentle. He uses the expectations of society to force you into being his wife. No one will want you now that he's taken your virginity, you know that don't you sugar? And your daddy will be horrified to learn you've been fooling around out in the barn like a slut. You don't want him to find out, do ya?
3. Yandere! State Trooper gets off on power, no two ways about it. He tries to be nice about it at first, make you rely on him by getting rid of all those pesky speeding tickets. But when you don't fall for it, he gets awfully nasty. Police brutality is one word for it, and manipulative malpractice is another. And the worst part? His buddies on the force will always cover for him. If you ever get brave enough to take him to court, you'll find his body cam footage is totally scrubbed. And his dash cam just happened to be malfunctioning on the night in question. You're trapped by the long (and buff) arms of the law.
2. Yandere! Greek Champion is going to the worst place in the underworld for what he did to you. And even knowing that, he'd do it again. He has no fear of the Gods, no respect or reverence. He's a man willing to fuck a virgin priestess on the floor of her temple, right in front of the holy shrine. You think that sort of man will ever be kind? Or noble? No way baby.
And without further ado, the worst man I've written to date is....
Yandere! Cyberpunk Riot Control Officer. You knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. He wins this contest hands down (or tied behind your back preferably). Anal without prep or lube. Fucking you with the baton he was using to crack skulls a few hours ago. Manipulating riot laws just to have his way with you. He's an awful guy but even worse, he's the product of a State just as cruel and depraved as he is. How else could he get away with doing this to you?
(And they aren't even the worst I've thought of - more despicable bastards coming soon).
#Coincidence that all the cops are on the naughty list?#yandere#x reader#yanderecore#yandere x darling#yandere x reader#yandere scenarios#yandere drabbles#yandere imagines#male yandere#reader insert#yandere oc
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Thank you to @alliwantforchristmasislou for setting up this amazing thing! <3
Warning: I don't know how not to ramble, or make sense.
I don't work during the winter, and I'm trying to pay down debts so I can buy a house in 2025, so I unfortunately don't have any money to spare, but I wanted to express my gratitude to the BuckTommy nation for the joy they've brought me.
I started this silly little show last winter on a total whim. Ms. Angela Basset was always there on the title card whenever I opened Hulu so, bored with my endless amounts of reading, I decided to give it a go. Immediately I was drawn in. I loved their dynamics. The stories. Peter Krause's acting, especially in the scene where he breaks down on the couch with Hen and Buck? Yeah, my overly empathetic self was like, this show is mine now.
Mind you, I didn't binge watch it all at once. I took short little breaks, never feeling the need to power through them all. And then, BuckTommy happened. All of a sudden, I had a reason to catch up and catch up I did. I can't tell you precisely why I was so drawn to them, but I have some ideas.
For once, we had a pair of equally masculine men showing affection towards each other. Neither of them could be relegated to the "woman" role. They weren't stereotypically effeminate, but they went against the alpha male stereotypes. You had two men who had been mentally neglected all their lives, into adulthood, who came out the other side being people that wanted to serve and protect for all they were worth. They had trauma, but outside of Buck's sex addiction - Buck 1.0 - they didn't let their trauma define them. They showed affection, not just to the women around them, but to their friends and chosen family. They said "I love you" with their actions. Buck was allowed to have "feminine" hobbies without being effeminate, and maybe to some that's not a big deal but to me that is. Tommy, who could be questionably called more effeminate, was allowed to have more stereotypically "masculine" hobbies despite being a Kinsey 6.
That's a huge deal on broadcast TV. The general audience has certain expectations, as much as they sometimes suck - they're not known for being the most progressive folks in the world - so the fact that the show was allowed to stick it to them was just... an amazing experience. As someone who's only other experience with masculine GAY men on TV was Ian and Mickey, whom I love dearly, it was such a nice change of pace. Also, the fact that they're both mature men? Also a huge deal. I love Alec, from Shadowhunter's, but he's still pretty young, and he's known he was gay for a very long time. Patrick and David from Schitt's Creek? They knew, and David(?) still has a very effeminate air about him, despite being confirmed pansexual.
All this is to say, that BuckTommy drew me in until they had a chokehold on me. I started using Tumblr again, started diving back into fanfiction in a way I hadn't since Kuroko no Basuke. I've produced more fics for the 911 fandom in six months than for any other fandom I've ever written for. And I've been in fandoms since circa 2007? And that's insanely impressive. BuckTommy drew me back into broadcast TV. I literally yell at my brother when the show is on to not talk to me, or bother me, for the next hour. I've got like... Four shows I wait for weekly now, TV antenna and all.
BuckTommy's have also been some of the kindest, most interesting, people I've had the pleasure of "knowing." Every single day I have things to look forward to in the tag, whether it's fics, or art, or headcannons, or honestly - my favorite - complaints about how the relationship ended and how the writers done fucked up. You guys are so amazing, and I love all of you that I've ever interacted with.
I'm PRAYING to see Lou, and Tommy, again in 2025, but even if he doesn't, I'm back for the long haul. You guys dragged me back from the brink of destruction after the break-up, I've never lost it over a fictional ship like that before in my LIFE, and I've decided that I'm here for good.
Merry fucking Christmas, and Happy Holidays to you all.
#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#tevan#lou ferrigno jr#kinley#911 on abc#911 abc#all I want for Christmas is Lou#alliwantforchristmasislou#BuckTommy Nation#BT nation
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This just occurred to me but - did Bruce get to keep his money in eye of the sky? I feel like access to a bank account with millions of dollars in it would be a resource that wouldn't exactly be "safe" for him to have, but then like, are the assets just going to sit there for the rest of eternity? (I think the fact that none of that money would be able to be put back into the economy would piss Bruce off...) Or is Clark like "ah yes your money will be allocated to our cause I need you to sign this for me :)"? Or some secret third option? What are your thoughts
In case you are wondering yes I will be sending in asks in hopes to flesh out the world building questions that pop into my head at ungodly hours even though the story is over for the rest of time if you let me I think you've infected me forever help it's so fucking compelling (although the rest of your stories are also wonderful I've been a fan of yours way before this au in particular I'm not trying to pigeon hole you into one singular thing keep writing <3)
Ahh thank you so much for sending this, you really keep me invested in this fic and the worldbuilding! My take is that when Kal-El finally revealed Bruce’s identity to the public and took him up to the Watchtower, it was all done at once.
Kal-El would’ve needed J’onn and Cyborg’s help. Cyborg would’ve folded in the accounts already funding the Watchtower to ensure their stability. Wayne Enterprises would be allowed to keep enough to stay afloat and functional, minus all research into “dangerous” topics like weapons or experimental gadgets etc. Kal-El’s public mercy, as it were. I’m sure LexCorp was burned to the ground, so it really is mercy.
Bruce Wayne’s personal accounts would be frozen to ensure he couldn’t escape easily, and that his family couldn’t easily stage an escape. And to cut off the fledgling Resistance/Insurgency.
Since Injustice canonically revolves around the Regime taking on the duties of an occupying government, anything they say is essentially law. So if they take Bruce’s money, there’s no one to stop them. Things are allowed to proceed as normal, as long as those activities don’t threaten the Regime.
I’m not sure if Kal-El keeps the money frozen or allocates it to the Regime. Either are likely options in my mind, to be honest. The Watchtower is expensive, but they have more than just Wayne Enterprises to pull from, now. Maybe all of Luthor’s money is used as Kal-El’s final “fuck you” to Lex. Hmm.
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The back arm is a fucking struggle. None of them seem right and I'm dying inside about it.
#wip#myart#a;lsdkfj#its like 2 am#i've been fucking around with this for like 3 hours#i hate it so much
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 4 + Familect (article)
#dan and phil#amazingphil#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#phil lester#this idea has been cooking in my brain for literally MONTHS but this weekend was literally the first day off i've had since JANUARY#which is so cruel and unusual don't get me started but anyways#and also the first time they haven't dropped something unhinged that i felt compelled to run through photoshop#also it took forever because originally i was going to do all the WDAPTEOs so like i pulled clips from 2 3 and 4#and didn't end up using any of the ones i pulled from 2 and 3 so guess i just wasted some time there#so it didn't take me actually as long to put together the actual set but like i spent a solid 5 hours working on the general project#tbf though the videos are 20 minutes long so like an hour was just watching to get the time stamps#and i didnt want to miss one by putting it on higher playback speed bc some of them are really quick#well congrats if you made it this far in my fucking tags essay about this post#this is like a 'stick around after the episode for a look behind the scenes' segment#hexagifs
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aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh
break. on my burger
#shit chat#family cw#got sicker than i have been in years my bank closed my checking account on accident work is nightmarishly busy#and my mother is sending strings of long voice memos in the family group chat again#i simply will not be listening to them. at most i'll ask my dad or brother for the sparknotes version#bc her pattern for the better part of this year has been radio silence. no attempt at communication whatsoever#and then BAM like 5-10 min worth of voice memos screaming crying sobbing shaking#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY CHILDREN TO FORGIVE ME. I'M CRAWLING ON MY KNEES ON THE DESERT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS REPENTING#WHAT THE FUCK IS FAMILY FOR YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I'M SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I'M ALONE BECAUSE#MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME. I HAVE NO ONE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I'M BEGGING. I NEED HELP I NEED MY KIDDOS AROUND ME PLEASE I'M DYING#followed by several minutes of sordid updates on her shitty miserable life#which is tbf pretty shitty & miserable. she's extremely physically disabled & mentally ill#her partner had a severe stroke a couple months ago and is still recovering. they've both been in & out of hospital#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household#partner's permanently disabled mother also lives with them. plus 2 large dogs 6 cats and 3 each of chickens & ducks#they're in court suing their landlord bc he's trying to evict them but the property is an uninhabitable shithole to begin with#but like. whenever i do make the mistake of responding to one of her groupchat tantrums#she's just like 'oh you know me im a survivor :) i just miss yous is all :) now that you're here i'm gonna bitch about my life for an hour#and ignore everything you have to say and show active disdain & boredom whenever you tell me anything about yourself or your life :)'#and if i offer help she refuses it#like it's just a bid for attention. expecting unconditional love and absolution and salvation from us bc That's What Families Do#she doesn't actually seem to give a shit about any of us as real people. just this ironclad delusion of unconditional family support#that she frankly has not earned#my brother actually did go visit her in the hospital on thanksgiving. driving 2hrs out of his way to do so#and she was a raging passive aggressive bitch to him and threw the gift he'd brought her back in his face#ma'am i know you're Going Through It but so are the rest of us & frankly you've given me zero reason to want to interact w/ ur caustic ass#plus this is petty but yet another way in which she doesn't listen to me & makes no attempt whatsoever at genuine relationship#i've told her numerous times that responding to groupchat voice memos is hard for me. that i love & miss her#and if she wants to see me or needs help or whatever to please contact me one on one either by call or text#nope. refuses to respond to/initiate individual contact. ONLY traumadumping in the fam chat. TLDR MY MOM IS A DISFUNCTIONAL TOXIC NIGHTMARE.
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EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!! PAT SIELOFF IS PREGNANT!!!!!
1. Birthday cake from Sierra and Kelly; 2. Gritty soft serve ice cream cup; 3. Sign for Erik Johnson's 1k celebration; 4. Jersey Devil Christmas tree ornament.
#just got taken very off guard by a big room remix of mozart's lacrimosa and the experience did NOT spark joy#horrible. i keep going back to the playlist it was on and listening to 30 seconds and getting mad all over again#not bc i believe in the sanctity of lacrimosa but bc i don't like it#ko and sierra aren't responding to my messages probably because they are spending quality time with family!!#but EYE do not have quality time with family. and my brain is swiss cheese from too much church#please god let him be a girl dad do not let him have a boy to put into hockey#i mean you can put the girl in hockey but we do NOT need pat sieloff jr (boy) into hockey#pat sieloff continuing proof that every single bone in your body can be broken and you have like negative muscle ligaments#but you can still be so so so so cute and happy with your wife in pictures announcing baby sieloff 🥰🥰#the weather is making me UNWELL. like physically i was not built for this weather i was built for heat not cold#BUT mentally also. please explain to me why i outlined an entire advent liturgy -- all four sundays -- based around hockey#LIKE NOBODY NEEDS A PRAYER OF CONFESSION AROUND HOCKEY#and it fucking WHIPS is the worst part. it was only an outline but if i spent more than 3 hours on it. well someone should a do wellness ch#ck is what should happen. we don't need hockey liturgy no one needs that#the thing is i am so fucking burnt out and just exhausted by all of it (<- what christmas/advent will do to a mfer) but i love#writing liturgy. it's so fun. it's like creative nonfiction#so then i was like well what if i did lent and baseball. which tracks much better yk ending the darkness and the coming light#and then i was like. interesting. what urgent tasks am i avoiding by doing all this. what medication am i not taking#white knuckling it ONE DAY LEFT OF CHURCH NONSENSE AND THEN I CAN ROT IN MY LIVING ROOM FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR#oh my god is it past midnight already i've been working on this post for like two hours and keep getting distracted#if the classical music station played ''mozart's final rave (lacrimosa)'' by oliver heldens at 7am i would certainly get out of bed :/#fresno oilers.txt
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i spent all yesterday making a semi-realistic slugcat base. i used sphinx cats as a reference, so they’re pretty cat like here
i imagine they hold themselves different than an actual cat though, plus more robust shoulders for bipedal-ism
this is the survivor btw :) i think i’ll do monk next
#pinemartart#rain world#rain world downpour#rw downpour#slugcat#rw survivor#rain world survivor#I SWEAR I'LL FINISH MY OTHER DRAWINGS I JUST. um. looks at my 21 hours in terraria this past week#i've been busy ahaha#also i can't draw everyday i think my arm would deadass fall off#or even every other day for that matter#btw cat legs are kind of fucked up looking#does anyone want my design traits for slugcats . i think about them and how they work#like they probably have some sort of throat pouch to hold things#plus they have 3 digits . which is interesting#they probably have a stiffer spine in comparison to actual cats. as it helps with being bipedal. i imagine they're still decently flexible#though since they can turn around in tunnels#they do have a collarbone . cats have like almost none. but slugcats have more. not as much as we do though#and they most likely have 6 breasts as they're mammals to me. they're cats#there is lots of loose skin around their limbs too btw. for flexability#helps them stretch . and cats too#cats have so much loose skin. and their skin is so thin#i imagine slugcats would have thicker skin#also their tail is pretty big compared to other things. so i imagine they use it for fat reserves and storage. like for hibernation#also i have thoughts about gourmond so i think i'll do them after monk#making a whole ass essay in here
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Chapter 622
#naruto#madara#madara uchiha#uchiha madara#hashirama flashback#+ hashirama#[FBI looking through my laptop voice] why the fuck have you been looking at this and crying for the past 3 hours#Also fun fact: I used to not really like the language of ''revealing your guts'' I felt it was just very ugly and un-poetic phrasing#But I've come to appreciate it in the sense that it conveys a pretty thorough idea of vulnerability that reveals a lot of how Madara#perceives it.#His phrasing of revealing vulnerability is incredibly visual; people quite literally opening themselves up for him to see. Related is how#his greatest discomfort is people standing behind him. You know. where he can't see them.#Also most Uchiha characters having common motif threads related to their eyes.#In Madara's case they're tied specifically to how he'd like to have full awareness and understanding of what's around him; and by extension#he'd like to have a measure of influence over them.#Something standing where he can't see it though he knows it's there is the most vulnerable position he can imagine himself in.#In multiple different ways! In this particular panel it's mostly related to trust and emotional vulnerability.#Which is a very fun character trait to have when you grow up in the conceiling yourself and backstabbing profession#And you are also very fatalistic and under the impression that people just can't change#you WOULD think the only solution would be if everyone could just magically rip themselves open
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I've got a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. mostly to discuss if the new sleep medication is working. it is.. not? I don't know. it sorta makes me stay asleep better but tbh that only really means it's even more impossible to wake up when I need to.
idk at this point I'm getting close to just saying you know what? thank you for trying to help, mr. nice old psychiatrist guy, but let's just give up! who needs sleep anyway (me, like 12-16 hours a day). I'm just not gonna do it anymore! that sounds more doable than ever figuring out how to sleep normally!!
#literally like. everything is kinda fucked up and everything hurts a lot of the time and everything just feels wrong in my stupid body#but not being able to sleep and also being tired all of the time and sleeping so much is so so so shitty#like I can't fall asleep when I want to and I can't stay awake when I need to#it fucking sucks#also my so called sleep schedule ALWAYS goes back to sleeping at like 5 or 6 am no matter how much I try to go to bed earlier#it never ever lasts#also it's really funny (haha sooooo hilarious) when people talk about sleep hygiene. as if it actually does/changes anything?? apparently it#does for normal people??#literally nothing ever helps (at least not more than a few random unpredictable times)#also. the toddler upstairs has been crying every morning starting around 5am. for an hour.#which is juuust perfect for helping me sleep. 😭😭😭 but anyway I've got Thursday Murder Club to listen to. and also my husband snoring in#his room next to mine lol. this feels like some kind of really mean joke 🙃#ALSO also. I have to get up in 3 hours for the appointment........ every damn time I'm like oof this is bad I need to get a later#appointment next time! and then I immediately forget.#personal
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Weird having an actual favorite band and knowing it. I don't really have many favorites it is hard to understand my feelings and even harder to pinpoint a 'better and more' feeling about one specific thing. But I know all of their songs, I listen to them all in a big playlist and never get bored, I am always happy to hear any song by them, I have every song's lyrics memorized, like ... they are my unequivocal favorite. There is nothing like it. Yes, I can get really into other songs, there are probably singular songs I can say I like more than any one song by this band. But I guess having a favorite is like what people say about getting married. I'm not explaining myself on that one actually I do have a point there that's an actual metaphor but I've decided explaining it is a bad use of my time. It's one of those artists that are popular enough and artsy enough that they can crop up as fic titles occasionally and no matter the lyric or song it comes from I can always tell immediately. I don't remember what the point of this post was I'm deep in my panic phase and it's 4 am and I was just sitting there singing I Have Made Mistakes to myself bc I can just do that, the whole song, and because it is very funny to go I have made mistakes I have made mistakes and I will continue to make them while in the middle of freaking the fuck out about existing or something. Bc you know yeah im one spoon away from setting the ends of my hair in fire because if I'm kindling for a little while at least I'll feel of use ????????? Yeah this post for sure had a point and it's devolved.
#tide of consciousness#Sorry that's a lot of text wow#Can we talk about the existential panic. I've been dying to talk about the existential panic#<- doesn't talk about it#Does anyone else get this. The feeling that is like the world is ending and its drowning and burning and it burns and nothing will ever beo#My best guess is I just have anxiety but it is very hard to believe that bc it feels so all consuming and terrifying and so so so much so m#The worst part is I'm not actually even feeling it I'm just sitting here using words that I know describe it bc it's like it just#Is happening. Behind a wall. And I'm here feeling the heat on the doorknob#Translating between the space where the feeling exists and the space where I reside#At some point I just go oh. I've been experiencing the world-ending terror for hours now#Like reading a letter!!!!!!!!! I just get a letter from my brain that goes 'emotions report. It all burned down years ago'#It's like and I know if I was in it I'd be crying and shaking and despairing so deeply and throwing myself around the room#And I feel like this EVERY OTHER DAY. Which is obviously why I apparently partitioned myself away from the feeling#Because you literally just you can't function with that#But surprise it's still there actually and I'm still having 2 breakdowns minimum a week#But now it looks like I'm normal and functioning to everyone else#So I seem like a horrible lazy fucking asshole who doesn't do anything but sit around accomplishing maybe 3? 4? Total minor tasks per day#Because I can't HANDLE ANYTHING ELSE !!!#HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FIX THIS#This is for sure something I shouldn't post but you know that's a rational thought for rational people
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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decided to make some stuff last minute for lawlight week cause I've got just a bit of free time and wanted to mess around with some brushes. tell me why I'm fucking COOKING rn.....
#I swore I'd just fuck around a bit but now I'm finding out#idk if I'll post a wip lemme see tomorrow if I'm still feeling good about it by then HWJABDJSND#it might just be 3am and I've been rendering for like 3 hours#my surprise when experimenting out of your comfort zone yields expected yet good results: 😯#elle is talking again#I'll probs only manage 3 pieces cause I rlly only started yesterday#and even 3 is pushing it a bit tbh lol we'll see how things pan out ig#if I don't make it on time I'll probs just post them late it's all good
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fuck yes i got my island up to 3 stars two hours before saturday KKS COMIN HERE TOMORROW BAYBEEEEE
#its literally 3:30 am i just spent all night running around placing fences everywhere#i looked up a requirements guide for 3 stars and realised i pretty much have everything needed Except Fences#bc i already got peaches from ingame mom and Pinky gave me cherries (!!) and i have trees everywhere#i also have a lot of bamboo and coconut trees#and then Every Time lief visited i bought Every flower i possibly could (different island sections have different flowers on them :)#and it rained like. SO fucking much this past month. so ALL of my flowers have been spreading#(the tulip mass grows ever larger. i fear it may overtake Zucker's house)#I had a habit of placing a ton of furniture outside to free up space in my house bc i was Drowning in my storage for a bit there#(there's a Godzilla on my beach. he approaches the flamingo squad)#and i just got eight villagers with Zucker#also I've been adding tons of bridges and inclines as soon as i got the ability to#so all i really needed was fences and i installed a bunch of hedges around everyone's houses and bothered kk slider at 3 am LMAO#and it said 'he could be here as soon as tomorrow' so i think he really will show up in. about an hour by now#i think it's very funny that you can do this
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our brain really just went "okay it's Taylor's turn to deal with source shit now" and I have to pretend everything's normal while I deal with the most ridiculous bullshit in the innerworld while everything that can go wrong today does go wrong because we can't even get a break from everything else while we deal with the absolutely batshit stuff our brain decides to do for whatever godforsaken fucking reason
#personal#thoughts#🦋 post#vent post#we have barely slept and it's been shitty interrupted sleep for 3 fucking days in a row#and I've had to deal with a bunch of source trauma and weird innerworld shit that I do not know how to deal with#we keep trying to sleep and waking up all the time and then when we finally fall asleep properly it's around when we'd normally wake up#and then we end up waking up properly way later than we wanted to and we feel like shit because of it and our routine is fucked up again#we've been awake for an hour and a half (the alien abduction day post earlier was scheduled at some point this morning just to clarify)#and in that time I've already nearly ended up screaming out of frustration several times because things won't stop going wrong#we got a couple of days of feeling relatively good and then immediately just went back to whatever the fuck is normally going on
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