#i'm sure there are several stories like this one out there

[and-the-times-we-had]

Fully agree with the original assessment that Feanor and his decisions haunt the narrative in a significant way, but sometimes I think that this idea is overstated. He is important, no doubt, but I wouldn't call him a protagonist. He's also not the only character to make life altering decisions that affect others long after (truly Finwe could be argued to be unparalleled on this front). Honestly, I'm not sure that there is a character in the Silmarillion that can truly be said to be the protagonist (no, I don't think Fingolfin and his line are protagonists either) because it is simply not that kind of story on the whole. Individual parts of it have their protagonists (Beren & Luthien and Turin come to mind), but no character or even group of characters jumps out at me as the overall protagonists in this book. And given that it is supposed to be a history/mythology, that seems only right. History isn't made of protagonists, and no one is the main character even if they do a lot of important things. They're just individual actors in the long and winding path that the story takes, which is why it can and does continue on without them.

All that being said, I'd like to address some of the points made in the above reply to the original post.

I think that the idea that "everything of importance done by the Noldor in the actual war against Morgoth is done by the children and grandchildren of Indis" is not exactly accurate to the text. Sure, Fingolfin and his children and Finarfin and his children are very important in the fight against Morgoth, but it is untrue to say that they did everything of importance (with the evident implication being that the Feanorians did nothing of importance). I'm also unclear about what your definition of "the actual war against Morgoth" refers to specifically (i.e. which battles qualify).

I would disagree that Feanor dies pointlessly (or that it is embarrassing, tbh); he thinks (incorrectly, due to ignorance about Morgoth's forces in Angband itself and his overzealous wrath) that he has a chance to take down Morgoth then and there based on the fact that he and his forces have just spent the last 10 days reducing Morgoth's forces to "no more than a handful of leaves". This doesn't really seem that ridiculous to me from his perspective. He's mortally wounded fighting a host of orcs and several Balrogs (including Gothmog!) all on his own. That hardly seems pointless or embarrassing, in my opinion.

I'd also argue that while Fingolfin's duel with Morgoth is dramatic and heroic, it's not really climactic either. Despite him managing to injure Morgoth, Fingolfin doesn't really accomplish that much more than Feanor does against Morgoth in the grand scheme (though his death isn't pointless either). The Quenta Silmarillion goes on for 100 more pages after said duel, and even the "Of the Ruin of Beleriand" chapter itself goes on for several more pages detailing how Morgoth's forces continue to gain control over areas of Beleriand after Fingolfin's death.

Honestly, I think that both of their deaths are tragic (which yeah, they are both under the Doom, that seems like how it should go) and I have a lot more to say about some of the similar language that is used to describe them both in the course of these battles but that feels like a separate post. For the purposes of this post, I'll just say that both Feanor and Fingolfin are great examples of powerful figures who are just as vulnerable to the march of time and history as any other character.

Moving on, I do think it would have been significantly more difficult if not downright impossible for Nargothrond and Gondolin to come into being and exist long enough in peace and safety for Beren and Tuor to arrive and set those events in motion if the Sons of Feanor had not had/been a part of major victories earlier on in the story. And they are a big part of several key early victories. The text says that the Battle-under-Stars was "renowned in song" and that the Noldor were "outnumbered and taken at unawares" but that they "were yet swiftly victorious". That "the orcs fled before them, and they were driven forth from Mithrim with great slaughter, and hunted over the Mountains of Shadow". They were so effective that the orcs who were attacking Cirdan and the Falas had to come up as relief only to be swiftly taken out by Celegorm and his host. I will once again mention the "handful of leaves" thing. Morgoth is said in the text to be "dismayed" by the outcome of the battle. Feanor's death, while influential, is basically the only negative outcome of this battle for the Noldor. And I don't think it's out of line to postulate that a least a small part of the reason Fingolfin and his people are able to essentially walk off the Helcaraxe and into Mithrim unopposed (in the Silmarillion version, not the Shibboleth version) is because of the success of this early battle (the other major part being the rising of the Sun causing what remains of Morgoth's servants to flee into Angband). Also, the fact that the Feanorian host inadvertently helped to relieve Cirdan has wide ranging positive consequences considering the role he plays in later events, even if it wasn't their intended goal.

Fingon saving Maedhros absolutely does help the Feanorians since it helps the Noldor  as a whole end their strife and unite, but I don't think it's because Maedhros is only one with "a demonstrable ability to negotiate". It's possible that Maedhros is just the only one who is actually able to transfer the crown. None of his brothers are canonically the King while he still lives as Morgoth's captive. The Feanorians also don't seem to be actively antagonistic to Fingolfin's host just prior to the rescue. The text has them moving to the south of Lake Mithrim of their own volition to avoid strife and says that "many of Feanor's people indeed repented of the burning at Losgar, and were filled with amazement at the valour that had brought the friends whom they had abandoned over the Ice of the North; and they would have welcomed them, but they dared not, for shame". It is Fingolfin's host that felt (understandably) grieved and angered when they arrived and faced the Feanorian host ("no love was there in the hearts of those that followed Fingolfin for the House of Feanor, for the agony of those that endured the crossing of the Ice had been great, and Fingolfin held the sons the accomplices of their father. Then there was peril of strife between the hosts.")

I also disagree that the Feanorians become secondary to the story after the abdication. They are dispossesed of the Kingship and the Silmarils, not of narrative importance, and they actually do quite a bit between the time of the abdication and the Nirnaeth. Just after the abdication, for example, the Noldor (including the Feanorians) are said to be united and it is said that they had "set a watch upon the borders of Dor Daedeloth, and Angband was beleaguered from west, and south, and east; and they sent forth messengers far and wide to explore the countries of Beleriand, and to treat with the people that dwelt there". Maedhros is said to be willing to take the chance that "the chief peril of assault should fall upon himself" by placing himself at Himring and he is said to remain in friendship with the houses of Fingolfin and Finarfin including when he and Maglor attend the Mereth Aderthad.

I would say, though, that the most clear example of the fact that the Feanorians do play an important role in the fight against Morgoth is the role they play in the Dagor Aglareb and the Siege of Angband. The text says that "Fingolfin and Maedhros were not sleeping, and while others sought out the scattered bands of Orcs that strayed in Beleriand and did great evil they came upon the main host from either side as it was assaulting Dorthonion; and they defeated the servants of Morgoth, and pursuing them across Ard-galan destroyed them utterly, to the least and last, within sight of Angband's gates". Then the text says that "the princes took heed of it, and thereafter drew closer their leaguer, and strengthened and ordered their watch, setting the Siege of Angband". It is the Siege that truly allows the kingdoms of the Noldor to flourish in safety and peace and the Feanorians are very much contributing to that Siege by holding the line on the entire Northeastern part of Beleriand. In fact, the two times that Morgoth does attempt an attack on the Noldor during the Siege, he aims those attacks at Hithlum. He doesn't do this because he thinks that Fingolfin is a bigger or more important threat but because Maedhros's constant vigilance makes Fingolfin and Hithlum the easier target.

I do agree that Morgoth regards the Oath of Feanor as being useful for his purposes in the time period post Nirnaeth. Anyone involved with the Silmaril or the Oath at that time does a fantastic job of playing into Morgoth's desires for division among the Eldar.

To return to my initial point, I think the fandom tends to center certain characters (Feanor in particular) more in its discussions of the text than the text itself might do. I hope that everything I laid out here goes to show how multiple characters can contribute to the flow of events without any of them being the protagonist specifically.

It never ceases to amuse me that Feanor’s narrative arc ends like THAT.

like this guy is built up to be a genius in 2384739847 different ways, charismatic as fuck, insanely spiritually powerful, made the magical artifacts the book is named after, he’s got Sexy Protagonist Energy for days, you’re only like a few chapters into the actual story of the Silmarillion, so you’re like “yeah, alright, this guy’s our guy, i can’t wait to see what crazy shit he gets up to in Middle-earth, what kind of character development he has–”

and then he gets to Beleriand, tries to fight Satan, and IMMEDIATELY dies. like. Battle #1. he beefs it. literally spontaneously combusts.

AND YOU STILL HAVE MOST OF THE REST OF THE BOOK LEFT. absolutely ICONIC of tolkien to kill his main character in the first third of the story, and then despite elves being able to return from the dead, he literally never does, not even post-canon. NO ONE ELSE CAN PULL THAT OFF. this is SUCH a power move.

….on a more serious note, Feanor’s decisions and motivations leave a huge impact on every other character, almost every other plot point in the entire story can be traced back to what he did, and killing him off not only increases his narrative importance to those he left behind but also makes it impossible for any character to actually confront him or reconcile with him. he’s a ghost throughout the whole rest of the story, but he’s haunting everyone in myriad ways, through the Oath, through the Silmarils, through his sons, through the repercussions of the First Kinslaying, through the unrest of the Noldor and the rebellion against the Valar, through everything.

So like. Feanor might die as soon as he sets foot in Beleriand, which is hilarious from a narrative standpoint - but only at first glance. Because he’s still there for the rest of the story. You can’t escape him, no matter how hard you try.

[dellamortethelesser]

The Wigmaker Job

Notes and Thoughts - Part 3

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5

DISCLAIMER: These posts I'm doing are my own analyses and are done with the intentional eye to examine the relationship between Lucanis and Illario. I try to source all my assertions from what the text is giving me. This is not Lucanis critical nor should it be taken as such.

Going to be a shorter post today because I have things to do this morning!

Starting off strong in the next scene with me… loving on the fashion notes <3 So glad to know that we get stiletto heels clicking against cobblestone. Surely hoping that no magister twists their ankle and falls and breaks their fucking neck because their shoe got caught in a gap!

Also, velveteen is in? Someone who knows fabrics weigh in and tell me if that would be an appropriate material for the climate.

"So the Wigmaker. Tell me about him." / "He's weird." ← Lucanis goes on to say that he 'finds the moment before a job crucial for focus, but Illario was never one for comfortable silence'. To me, that beggars the explanation that the following passage is Illario goading him a bit.

I: "Specifics, cousin. No one hires us to kill normal people." L: "I gave you a dossier." I: "Yes, but I want your assessment." L: "I wrote it. It is my assessment." I: "Humor me." L: "You'll see soon enough."

There was a little bit of debate in my previous post about whether or not Illario actually read Lucanis's dossier. I don't think that the text supports that interpretation, but everyone is allowed to interpret what they want.

I'll argue that Illario has read the dossier: throughout the story up until this point, Illario has made comments about the job that implies he has SOME understanding of what they are doing—even going out of his way to make arrangements with a tailor so that he can be prepared for the part of the contract that Lucanis asked him to help with.

He knows that they need to be in Minrathous, at a party, facing a 'premiere wigmaker', and aware of the fact that they're up against Venatori. He knew they needed to be at a mansion and all of this comes up previous to this point when asking about Lucanis's assessment.

Additionally, asking for more clarification on something that someone else wrote is actually normal when the plan has clearly changed several times. Illario has increasingly expressed confusion on how the navigation is being handled, and, when asking for more information, is specifically asking after the Wigmaker himself, not the entire plan.

Also, the narrator is telling us that Lucanis prefers to be quiet while Illario likes to talk. It was pointed out to the me that this is close third POV, so why would the narrator bring that difference up, and not reference the idea that Illario has a tendency to not read documents?

(A few paragraphs later, while balancing on the rooftops, it's stated that 'At least Illario was too busy concentrating to ask questions'.) ← I wonder why he'd need to ask so many… I'm not trying to be snarky, but I am trying to make a point and using the text to support it. This also is NOT Lucanis crit and I'm worried some people are interpreting it as such.

The commentary from Lucanis about the previous Minrathous parties is insane btw. Retching vases? Acrobats? An orgy? No wonder they kept us in Dock Town in VG… (shakes fist)

First mention of Lucanis's sensitivity toward the Veil. "The backs of his eyeballs itched like he hadn't blinked in days". I think he says this primarily about blood magic at some point in VG? Which tracks and keeps up with WMJ.

"Something's wrong." / "Yeah. We're up here, away from the fun." ← insane of illario to say this i'm sorry. bro there are blood mages down there.

L: "Focus." I: "I am." L: "On the job." I: "To be fair, you never told me the plan."

You guys get it at this point. (That last sentence loops back up to my previous point… Illario has read the dossier. He knows the contract. He does NOT know how Lucanis is going to HANDLE it beyond what he's been asked to do re: getting Lucanis inside).

Lucanis shrugged. "Find Ambrose. Slit his throat." "Sounds complicated." "It will be. The Veil's thin here. Thinner than I expected."

Illario seems pretty fine with this explanation so I am not going to keep dragging it out. I do like how in-tune Lucanis seems to be with his abilities! I wish we could've seen more of that in VG; iirc he doesn't comment on the state of the Veil or magic very often?

This is the part of the story where we get to see their back-and-forth and how Illario is a bit of a rake! Which I personally enjoy. I love a manwhore (*said affectionately). Sorry.

"Plenty of time for some good, old-fashioned debauch—" I think he's funny. And maybe a bit distracted.

The narrator describes Ambrose as 'of average height and build' which is a description that pisses me off when fanfic does it and published works are not immune to my ire. What the hell is 'average'. That's so subjective.

The rest of the description is nice, though: hawkish gold eyes and a jaw that could break teeth. ← I know I said this was a breakdown of the brothercousin dynamic but I need to weigh in on other things sometimes. <3 Heart.

"They're never what you envision, are they?" Illario noted. "What did you expect?" "Hair, for one. Maybe a funny little dog." That got a chuckle out of Lucanis, if only briefly.

Stop being funny!!! I do like this banter back and forth because this feels like it's the least… leaden with underlying, complicated dynamics? I like it a lot and it feels natural for them.

Making notes on the fashion of the guard-captain. 'She wore an emerald gown with a high-waisted, low-tiered skirt and a fitted tulle bodice studded with champagne-colored crystals. Metallic body paint shimmered on her exposed arms and legs'. ← Fascinating.

It sounds like it might be a reference to the women's fashion from the Tevinter concept art. Bit gaudy.

Also it's described as silk-brocade. AGAIN PEOPLE WHO KNOW FABRICS WEIGH IN.

[shrek meme] she's not even wearing velveteen.

Lucanis "I need those keys" Dellamorte and Illario "your wish is my command, cousin" Dellamorte you will always be famous to me. Also it says that Illario 'flipped forward' which . why are we doing all that

Quotes are either paraphrased or taken directly from The Wigmaker Job, written by Courtney Woods.

[bogleech]

Yo, a couple 'o questions about the We Hunt "Monsters" thing, A: How many are there, & B: Is there anything that you'd suggest that's like ti?

There's one or two more entries I have to edit and put up and several ideas for more to write! I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with the setting other than short stories. I made it mostly because I couldn't think of any series where "monsters" are quite that weird as a theme. There's select SCP's and creepypastas out there with the same vibe, but not any whole settings I'm aware of.

Link to the start of the series for people who don't know it:

It was partly inspired by how many jobs sound cool but are really unpleasant or underwhelming by most standards, so I thought, what if there are "monster hunters" but "monsters" are just like, anomalous organic objects or unexplainable biofilms, and are kept secret not because they're catastrophically threatening so much as just alarmingly confusing.

This other thing I wrote may or may not share its universe:

I also have the "Reverberators" from the same setting as my webcomic Awful Hospital, which were a gag article I wrote in 2013 for a Halloween ARG:

I just really like thinking about how "alien" a being could get before you can't even hardly call it a being anymore.

[naomihatake]

LaDs' Rafayel rambling — "Oceanic Nightfall" tender moments

!!!!!slight poilers ahead. I also made a comparison with Caleb after his return (*cough*, coming back from the dead - it's written in a small font if you wanna avoid reading it)

This man is so special to me, to be honest. Last night I watched one of his limited Tender Moments card, Oceanic Nightfall — and when I tell you that I was absolutely flabbergasted with how angsty it was. I saw the card's image and thought "oh, this is gonna be spicy". I was so mistaken, oh Gods 🥲

That card is anything but spicy; sure, there's a lot of tension between them in the second half of the card, my heart was doing gymnastics when she entered on him being ass naked in the bathtub with a paintbrush in his hand. I hadn't expected him to be so shameless, considering I don't think at that point they were exactly lovers (or probably just at the delicate line between friends and lovers). Not that surprising, because it's Rafayel, after all; he does act strange a lot of the time if we take into account the usual standards.

I adore the fact that MC didn't walk away and the fact that she didn't give in easily. She told him square in the face that his manipulation tactics don't go unnoticed by her and I absolutely adore that, lol. Yes, gurl, say it out loud for everyone to hear.

Also, she calls him annoying and he seems to be pleased by that. Rafayel is so pleased with the fact that she does view him differently than others.

I have to admit that his tantrum with the glass had my jaw drop to the floor because I absolutely despise such behavior — I am hater through and through of that gesture, especially since she hadn't done something deserving of such a reaction.

Let's take another scenario as a comparison: when MC throws a glass at Caleb for what he's done to her, for locking her in his apartment and being an ass with his overprotective, obsessive tendencies. I completely understand her point of view and I think he deserved it, to be frank (as someone that appreciates and loves him as a character overall). I think she should've done worse, if you ask me, but that's another story (I am a hater of controlling behavior, sorry not sorry)

Actually, Rafayel's gesture triggered me. It took me several seconds to process what happened because I couldn't believe it — to the point I'm not even sure if the glass just slipped from his hand or if he really threw it on the floor (I'll do a rerun of that card just to be sure, but I don't think I misinterpreted it).

Despite it all, that made me fall for his character even more. This is a card from the beginning of their relationship, since before they even got a chance to kiss, so I think that makes it even more interesting. In later cards and events, it is shown how complex Rafayel is; he is deeply in love with her and stops his manipulative tendencies. The only people he's cruel with have nothing to do with her. Their begining seems very abrupt and he does act like an absolute menace, like a pitiful crybaby sometimes.

Later on, these moments just end up being part of who he is as a person. I know I kind of bullied him in this post until now. Truth be told, he's very mature and he's shown as being a very wise person, regardless of his childish tantrums — and they're not even exactly childish, they're just part of a very troubled personality. He's shown taking care of MC, protecting her, giving her wise advice in a way someone very old would. His soul is, indeed, old, especially since he remembers his past lives. He's watched the world change and crumble before his eyes and he's still there, in Linkon.

Rafayel can be a child in a good way, like the time when they ran in the rain together because he never did that (he's a Lemurian, it doesn't rain underwater); in several tender moments, he encourages MC to be kinder with herself, to find herself in the small things of life, to pursue her little dreams and the bigger ones. His devotion to her is undeniable, and as time passes by, there are less and less tantrums from him. It's almost as if he's found his own emotional security and stability once she appeared in his life.

Even in this card, Oceanic Nightfall, Rafayel tells her that he's changed since she appeared in his life. She questions his strange behavior and it seems like he's a bit self destructive — that makes him such a relatable and real character.

Rafayel is full of flaws and insecurities and they make him so much more beautiful; he's perfect because of his own imperfections and I love him that way. He shows that he tries to change for the better, even if it's shown as a slow process. Also, he does that for her alone. He doesn't care about other people and I think that's very interesting. I like him a little cruel, a little heartless; he has all the rights to be, considering his life (or lives) as a Lemurian.

Also, if anyone has some thoughts about this, you can share them <3 I'd be happy to hear some more opinions on this (I know that the Rafayel girlies are down bad for him exactly because he's got a twisted personality and I wholeheartedly agree 😫)

[lavenderdaisychain]

Evil In Bed

note: omg I haven't posted on here in like a year, I'm trying out a new thing by doing charactrer x reader stories so feel free to leave constructive feedback! :) 2.8k word count

~your favorite regular at the diner you work at turns out to be an interesting character

CW: violence, gun violence, sexual assault, harassment, hurt/comfort, fluff, cursing but thats not that crazy, wound care, age gap (You're early 20s he's late 30s), Frank being calm until someone lays hands on his favorite waitress

Frank Castle x fem!reader

You weren’t sure when exactly the stranger who always sat at the back of the diner became a regular. Or more specifically, your regular. Being not only a collage student but a student nurse meant you worked the job that paid your rent, at night. It was a small diner in a busy part of Brooklyn but it was a surprisingly good gig, you liked your co-workers and most people that came in were regulars so easy to work with and they’d always leave you good tips.

A few months ago a guy started coming in around the beginning of your shift, and he’d stay until you left. He always wore all black, kept his baseball cap pulled down where you could only see a small glimpse of his face. He’d sit at the back of the diner, facing the door and nurse a pot of coffee the whole time. No food, just coffee. Like clockwork. After a pretty light start to your shift you noticed your regular at his normal booth. You grabbed the coffee pot from its stand, a bowl of cream and sugar and headed his way. 

“Evening stranger. Just coffee as usual?” You questioned with a warm smile, you caught his smile as he curtly nodded his head. The two of you had built a small relationship, sometimes he’d ask if he needed to rough up a weirdo after a bad shift. You’d always laugh, but he was serious and you knew it. “Well looks like it’s gonna be a boring night, got any jokes for me? Or hot gossip from wherever you come from? Something to keep me going?” 

You’d asked for his name several times but he never gave one. Which would probably seem weird if you didn’t live in New York, so you just called him Stranger. 

He quietly mulled over a few ideas in his head as he sipped his coffee. He drank his coffee black but you always brought the cream and sugar for yourself, in case you joined him. You scanned his face and noticed some new bruises and an ugly gash across his nose. 

You couldn’t see his face very clearly with his cap but you did catch his big brown eyes gazing up at you before he finally answered. “Boss is callin’ your name sweetheart.”

You cursed under your breath as you were pulled away from him. You turned on your heel in the direction of your nagging boss, a group of bikers had come in and were also beckoning you over.

“Sorry about that folks. Welcome to Casey's. I'll be your waitress. What can I get everyone to drink?” 

Each man made some form of a lewd joke about you being on the menu before giving their actual orders. You smiled through grit teeth and quickly went behind the bar.

“I’m going to murder them. Can you please please take these guys Joey?” You begged the head cook as he flipped some pancakes on the grill. 

“And you cook? Sorry sister but no. If it’s that big a deal, make Casey deal with them.”

“Casey will tell me to suck it up and flash them if it means getting good tips! Joey please! I’ll never ask for free food ever again!” That’s a lie. After another hard ‘no’ you huffed and took the group of brutes their drinks. 

“So what’s a fine piece of ass like you working in a place like this?” One of the men asked, referring to the slightly dingy diner you’d come to love. 

“Just trying to pay the bills.” You replied curtly, trying to keep your eye from twitching. “Does everyone know what they’d like to eat?” 

Before they could make another joke about you being on the menu, a sharp whistle cut through the air, you whipped your head around to see your favorite regular holding up an empty pot of coffee. 

“If you’ll excuse me I just need to step over to that gentleman’s booth for a moment, take a couple more minutes to look over the menu.” You smiled before practically bolting to the other side of the diner. “Thank god for you and your caffeine addiction,” you sighed, wiping his table down and picking up the empty pot. “Want another one?”

“Those guys bothering you?” If looks could kill every man in the booth on the opposite corner would be dead. You looked back at the men and then to your stranger with a soft smile.

“Nah, Joey may act like he hates me but if they get too mouthy he’ll kick em’ out. Promise.” You placed your soft hand on top of his rough knuckles, the murderous look on his face flickered to a softer one for just a second. “Look at my favorite regular being worried for me!” Before he had the chance to reply you were being called back over, you sighed and took a moment to fix your hair. “Duty calls! I’ll be back.”

“Don’t worry about another pot, I'll be fine!” 

You nodded as you pulled your order book back out.

“Sorry about that guys, what can I get started for ya?”

As each man gave their order they were surprisingly…nice? No lewd comments, no smart remarks, no staring directly at your boobs while you took orders, until the last man who was sitting closest to you ordered.

“Yeah I’ll take the burger all the way, with curly fries and a soda and for dessert I’ll have a piece of you!” Before you could even react his hand flew up your skirt and firmly gripped your ass, you screamed, dropping your order book. As you raised your hand to smack him, a tall shadow hovered over both of you and the man instantly let you go.

“That’s not how you treat a lady.” It was your regular. “Now apologize.” He stepped in between you and the man, his broad body covering you completely. It was then you realized just how large he was. His shoulders were broad like a man who spent his whole life working, his jacket smelled of leather and gunpowder, something you’d never noticed until he was right up against you. The men argued and in a flash the group was headed outside, your regular having the perv that grabbed you by the throat. 

“Oh my god Joey!” You yelped as a hand gently grabbed your arm. “He’s going to kill him!” You practically squealed. Joey shrugged and dragged you behind the bar.

“Wait here.” He mumbled before turning to follow after the fist fight waiting to happen. Joey was much older than you, he’d been working at Casey’s since it opened. 

He thought you were an annoying brat when you first started working. Eventually you stopped asking for free food because a plate would be waiting for you at the end of your shift, he’d become a father figure of sorts. But you two still butted heads so of course instead of doing what you were told you ran after him.

“What the hell is going on out here?” Your boss asked, stepping out of his office. You yelled something about a fight as you ran past him, he quickly followed behind. You threw the back door open to the sight of your regular dominating over the gang of bikers, most of them were on the ground but two of them had him cornered. He moved swiftly and efficiently to knock them on the ground, yelling about how their mothers should’ve raised them better. 

You covered your mouth in horror, eyes wide from shock. Joey stood to the side with a toothy grin as he recorded the massacre.

“Joey!” You shrieked, slapping his arm. All the men turned to look at you, including your regular who was now splattered with blood. The man he had beaten slowly stood with a gun in his shaky hands, and fired. Joey and Casey both pushed you to the ground, your ears rang sharply even though you’d thrown your hands over them at some point. When you finally pushed the two burly men off of you the bikers had scattered leaving your regular bleeding on the ground. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god.” You ran to him, picking his face up gently. “Hey, I need you to talk to me. Please, please talk to me!” You slapped his face lightly before moving to lay your head on his chest, it moved up and down but his breathing was ragged. You moved to assess the damage as Joey dialed 9-1-1, the bullet hadn’t gone through all the way and seemed to be lodged in between two of his ribs. You let out a sigh of relief but yelped when he grabbed your hand. 

“No hospitals.” He spat through gritted teeth.

“Are you crazy?!” You sat back on your heels in disbelief as he began to stand, and caught him before he hit the ground again. 

“You're a nurse aren’t you? You fix me.” 

“I’m a CNA, that’s not a nurse.”

“Well I’m sure you can figure it out, I’m running out of time here sister.”

You gawked at him like he was a pure mad man before saying something you’d never catch yourself saying. “Joey tell him everyone ran off. I got this.”

Joey now wore your gawked expression. “Now I knew you were crazy but I didn’t think you were this crazy! Absolutely not!” 

“Joey. Trust me.” 

He stared at you before hanging up the phone, grabbing Casey and going back inside. Maybe he was just as crazy as you were. But deep down you knew this guy wouldn’t hurt you. 

“I only live a few blocks from here. I walk to work every day. Just stay with me and we can make it.” He nodded, screwing his eyes shut at the mere movement of walking. “You know, I could’ve handled those guys without making it a fight.” 

“No darlin,” he grunted. “Not when that asshole had a gun.” He gripped his side tightly as you hobbled through the streets of Brooklyn. You couldn’t believe you were taking this man you didn’t really know to your apartment because he’d insisted on no hospitals. Who was this guy? He grunted at every step as you climbed the stairs to your apartment.

“Why do you have to live on the third floor?”

“It’s good cardio, sue me.”

You finally reached your door without leaving a bad trail of blood and as you fumbled with your keys your elderly neighbor stepped out from her door across the hall. You lightly laid your hand on your new companion's chest to let him know not to make any noise.

“Mrs. Dabney? Is everything alright?” 

“Oh darling I was just about to ask you the same thing, I could hear you struggling up the stairs and had to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh Mrs. Dabney thank you for asking, I’m perfectly fine, Joey sent me home with a big box of cooking supplies so it was a pain to bring up the stairs with the elevator not working. I’ll be there to help you with your grocery shopping tomorrow!” Your lovely neighbor wished you goodnight and went back inside, you quickly pushed your regular inside and locked the door behind you. 

“She’s blind,” You seemed to answer his question before he even had the chance to ask. “She’s blind but I have a feeling she knew you were there..I’ll come up with an excuse later.”

He stood in your studio apartment awkwardly, not wanting to sit and get blood on your couch but also losing blood at an alarmingly fast rate and trying to not fall over. You quickly grabbed your medical kit and helped him to the bathroom. 

“Shirt off.” You demanded, setting him on the seat of your toilet. 

“Hey now sweetheart, at least buy me dinner first!” He partially laughed and partially grunted at the pain that shot through his chest. Except you didn't laugh like you normally would, you shot him a look that had his shirt hitting your bathroom tiles in an instant despite how much it hurt.                                                                     You stopped for a moment to really take in the sight before you. His cap was off and his hair fell just above his eyes, but the sides were shaved, his face was perfectly chiseled like it had been handcrafted.

 His nose had clearly been broken multiple times but for you it just added to his charm. Your eyes trailed down to his equally sculpted chest, he wore a pair of dog tags with a gold band threaded in them. He was a soldier, which made so much more sense. His abs rippled with every tense breath, his right side was drenched in the blood that seemed to be oozing from his 8th rib, in that  moment you remember why you were here. He’d been shot and he wanted you to fix him.

“Don’t care if you drool over me as long as you get the job done darlin,” He grunted, snapping you from your daze. You ran back to the kitchen and returned to him with a bottle of whiskey.

“Drink.” You raised the bottle to his lips and he gratefully took it from you. You pulled your hair back tight and sighed as your work uniform would be totally trashed. After washing your hands and sanitizing your tools you got to work kneeling between his legs and resting your arms on his upper thighs. “I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty nasty, I’ll do my best.”

He said nothing as you worked to clean the wound, you silently prayed that the bullet was lodged in his rib and not somewhere worse. Either way this wasn’t going to be fun for either party involved. You tried your best to feel for the bullet, but you didn't have the right angle with him sitting upright.

“Hey- wait what is your name anyways? I've been trying to get it out of you for ages but you’re always so mysterious at the diner.”

“Frank,” he grunted, taking another swig of whiskey, “Castle.”

“Well Frankie, I’m gonna need you to slide your hips forward I need a better angle.” He nodded and slipped his hips closer to you until you were practically face to face with his hip bones. You had to drown out the hisses and groans that he let out as you carefully sliced his skin and removed the fragmented bullet and the pieces it left behind. Despite the situation you were in, it was hard to work with him being so close to you. He was so caring, and so fucking hot. It was going to be hard to keep him out of your bed.  You finished suturing the cut you had to make and sat back on your heels wiping your brow. 

“Need anything else patched up while I'm sitting here?” You looked at the gash in his nose and lip and then to the cuts on his knuckles. 

“Nah I don’t think it’s anything major, but you could always kiss it to make it better?” You shot up to look in his eyes, and at the big shit eating grin on his face. Was this his plan the whole time? You couldn’t help but giggle as you took his hand and slowly peppered kisses on his knuckles, before slowly moving up to his rib, he hissed at the contact but didn’t pull away. You perched yourself on his lap and peppered kisses, intertwining ‘thank you’s’ between the kisses. You helped clean him off and wrapped his hand and nose before bringing him to your room.

“I have some of my brother’s old clothes, the shirt might fit.” You helped pull it over his head, pulled his boots off and helped him lay in your bed. He laid down but was tense as you changed out of your bloody work uniform.

“I’m so sorry,” 

“For what?” You asked, crawling into the bed.

“For dragging you into this whole...mess.” He sighed, dragging his bandaged hand over his face. You sat in front of him frowning. 

“I may not know you Frank, but if I didn’t trust you, you wouldn’t be here. I don’t know your situation but get some sleep, let your wound heal up for the night at least.” You caressed his face, he leaned into your touch and you sat with him until he fell asleep. After a few hours you got a text from Joey, the headline read:

The punisher of New York attacks a biker gang in a small Brooklyn diner - ‘This your guy? Nice.’

You turned your head to face the man whose face was nuzzled in the cook of your neck, how could someone the world saw to be evil be curled up in your bed? That would be a question for another day, for now he was all yours.

note: AHHH this was so fun to write I have a couple more im working on as valentines day approaches so stay tuned! I hope yall enjoy! Muah ;)

@ebodebo @fun-k-boards @jjenthusee @sceletaflores @starsofang

[alarrytale]

ik ur a larry blog but i see so many articles that outed liam. now i don’t know the lore w ziam and i have never speculated on either of their sexualities but i think its so vile that his ex is outing him in an interview. idc if people liked liam or not thats just an absolutely vile thing to do to someone. whether liam was straight or not, it was supposed his choice to come out about that. no one else should have done that for him. it’s just wrong!

Hi, anon!

I saw. I think that cat was out of the bag already with Braian's first statement when he said he and Liam did something "intimate". The original articles of this outing also attributes the "stuggling with his sexuality" and "he was sexting men when he was with MH" to a source, and not MH. What she's quoted saying though, almost sounds like grounds for a defamation law suit from the Payne's... but that's another story...

It is Liam's choice to come out, but if he's in the same boat as H and L, maybe it's only now after his death his truth can be revealed. It should have come from him, but now that it can't, it's hard to tell if it's something he would have wanted to be revealed or something that he would want to keep a secret. The truth always has a way of coming out in one way or another though. I don't think this could be kept a secret forever.

I also have thought, ever since Braian's statement, that maybe it's impossible to get through the trial, with people under oath and NDA's null and void, without it being revealed that Liam was queer. So maybe this "outing" is a controlled outing, to be ahead of anything that can or will be revealed at trial about Liam's sexuality.

I don't think it's any big surprise to fans (not on this side of fandom at least) that Liam was queer. There's been rumours for years. There's been several blind items. There's the whole Ziam thing, and not to mention all the fake relationships he's been in. Liam is probably the most straight passing out of all the 1D guys though. So if Liam is queer, eyes are going to turn to the others.

What i'm 100% sure of though, is that Liam didn’t struggle with his sexuality. It's way more likely that he stuggled with being forced to be closeted. Just like H and L.

[pieflavorpie]

OK so I have thoughts and feelings and a LOTTA them. Here's my list [which is arbitrary and could change tomorrow in all honesty]

1. Percy.

Taliesin put so much love and attention into this character, that it made Caleb & Nott feel cheap to me for a WHILE. Taliesin literally told Sam how guns were constructed in rather extreme detail meanwhile Sam barely used basic chemistry knowledge & Liam was only using the Keen Mind feat instead of taking notes. I had to sit to myself and remind myself that these people each have their own strengths and weaknesses and research clearly wasn't either of those [which probably why I couldn't get into their characters but oh well].

While I'm not on the "Critical Role has to follow writing techniques" train due to the fact I'm into this because it's an unconventional story. But. Percys arc is ridiculously satisfying. I know he was supposed to die, but the entirety of VM being him learning how to cope with [&live with] the grief of his family and all the mistakes he has made. I've never felt prouder in a fictional character than when he talked to his wife instead of calling in on a Devil's deal and selling his soul again. Breaking his cycle. And then the subsequent "i think I wanted to be a clockmaker once" and him choosing a healthy pathway forward!!! It's so rewarding after we see this man break himself into so many pieces continuously, just to find the point he initially broke. He learns that maybe that doesn't matter.

And then there's the actual personality of Percy. That man is a perfect depiction of darkness and pompousness. Able to take the mick of himself sometimes, and able to communicate. Having the rare issue where it wasn't trust issues with other people, but trust issues with himself. He trusted the people around him so much, and had so many lighthearted moments with seemingly no hint of darkness. And it made his Moments hit harder.

2. Mollymauk/Kingsley

Grouping these 2 together as joint 2nd because I view these 2 as intrinsically linked. I can't bring up why I like Molly without mentioning Lucien/Kingsley, and vice versa. I love the analysis of what makes a distinct soul, I love how open the interpretation of what Kingsley IS is. Is he just the rememnants of a severely traumatised & scrappy Mollymauk after spending too much time as the neosomnovum? Is he a different fragment of Luciens soul? Is he a mixture of different parts of Lucien and Molly? Is it fair to say that as Molly IS a part of Lucien?

And the book, oh gods the book. So many things Tal just randomly blurted out that were wrapped in so well. I will never get over Brevyn's kiss to the forehead. "Long may he reign" being a song the tombtakers sang. "Empty" being repeated due to Lucien's worst fear being puppetted just like his brother.

There is not a week i don't spend contemplating what would've happened if we kept Molly. If something would've happened with the Hag, how Vess Derogna would've acted (if we even met her), how he would've impacted the direction the M9 went, or how he would've reacted to the forced amnesia on Rumblecusp, and the subsequent Thing With The Moonweaver at Traveler Con.

And Kingsley, oh how I want Kingsley to be explored more. His 2 episodes in the specials were GREAT. How he is the guy to Get Shit Done, and how he's so button-pushy. I will never forgive the cast [/lh] for pushing him to the side so much. Having him be the only one not mentioned in the BH finale and only talked about above-table to seemingly reduce what Ashton had just been through. It feels like Tal has to force other characters to bring him up outside of "yeah we tried to bring out dead friend back and It Got Weird."

And they don't have the excuse of him being the pirate king either, cause Veth made it canon that Kingsley helped gather Luc when he ran away up north. He is contactable. Im fairly sure Jester said she was in contact with him [like she is with literally everyone I love that girl so much].

Anyway, also love him being a rogue. Go, buddy, get that self confidence.

And also I personally relate to the way identity was talked about during both eras by both of these characters during different parts of my life.

3. Asha

Honestly would be further up but we did not get enough screentime with her to justify that. There are sooooo many ways to interpret this 1 version of the Wildmother and it has kept me thinking for days about the nature of Nature and change and possibility.

She has convinced me to play a druid for my first campaign, a changeling druid who grapples her identity to the nature around her by covering herself with thorns and brambles. All inspired by how Asha only seems to show 2 strong negative emotions besides hunger. Guilt, for the pain her discovery has brought to her family. And anger at her wife for leaving her to face this mission with a substitute. These emotions are what ultimately anchor her to her mortality.

Nature never really feels guilt for the hunt, or anger at the prey. And yet, to us those emotions are perfectly natural. So in this case, where does the domain of Nature stop? Melora/Asha is the goddess of the Wild, so it's probably safe to assume natural human emotions don't come under her purview. But in the grander scheme, are we natural? As human beings? Are the buildings we roost in natural, as they are made from the dirt and mud that are processes made possible from what we had in Nature? Is being a God with Nature as your domain also make you a God of progress and potential?

And isn't that an incredibly interesting concept.

4. Ashton.

Would've been higher than Asha, if he had had a better finale. It felt like he had narrative progress, with people coming to save him as he died, but he came out without much of a change in mindset since The Shard. He literally martyred himself, intending to die for good and no one really bothered to emotionally check in on that afterwards. If he has finished with his martyr complex, I don't think its done through actual help, it feels like it was done because he's realised that his friends will fight through thick and thin to bring him back. But that doesn't mean anything for someone's mental health in a world like this. It could make people feel trapped, or could make them too reckless with the "I'll be fine my friends will get me if I die." Like No?????

And i love his parallels with Laudna, even outside of his probing. They are both stunted beings, perpetually childish. Laudna because she never got the chance to grow up, being ostracised since before the Briarwoods came up and ruined everything [and then Delilah wouldve purposefully kept it that way for Manipulation Purposes]. Ashton because he never really got to be a child. Laudna coped with her loneliness by making a shit ton of dolls. Ashton had never had a doll until Laudna gave him one. And neither of them really get the community they deserve within the group.

I think the best example of this with Laudna is Swordgate. Marisha said on 4sd that Laudna was upset about Orym using the sword anyway, and then Delilah got into her head. I was also immediately off put by Orym using the sword due to the fact it had killed so many of the Bells Hells and had literally sent Laudna to her own personal hell for an indetermined amount of time for her. A sword does not have to be possessed to be Evil. But it was the fact that noone responded to her actual, valid reasons it was all pretty much the message of "you can't be trusted, this is all Delilahs machinations" like WHAT. Which, mini tangent here, i feel like is why I also prefer VM to BH because it seems like BH had so many completely impossible moral quandries that they seemed to completely dismiss the complexities of their own friends situations after 1 conversation. I feel like they should've had a few more [and I mean only like 2] sessions that was just BH getting to be a mercenary group because for like 100 flat episodes they were Not A Mercenary Group. Maybe getting to explore Marquet a lil more.

Anyway, tangent over. I just think its sad Laudna got dismissed due to her being manipulated and Ashton often got dismissed because of his brash attitude and low Charisma. Before the Solsitice he was continuously getting drunk and even said he'd started shouting at seemingly nothing and no one bothered to explore it. Besides Laudna. Anyway.

Love the concept that Being Broken isn't a wrong thing to say. Most of the time it's all like "oh no don't say that!!! You're wonderful!" But no this guy is just fundamentally and mechanically broken. They are someone who's had to be reformed so many times that some pieces just don't fit anymore, and there's nothing to replace them. And maybe you don't have to be a rock guy who was literally shattered to have that. I personally relate in all those times that I failed tests as a gifted kid that, upon reforming myself afterwards, I lost the piece of me that cared about working. Later, being shattered as I'm told by my college that I'm flagged for undiagnosed ASD and need 25% extra time and loosing that part of me that felt I could trust adults to understand me. But it's not always bad. I felt part of me break away when me and my friends turned 18, and we went out and I realised I didn't have to treat my friends like glass physically. That i could hold them and hug them and they will reciprocate.

And I think where the term "broken" comes into play is when you actively start to grieve those parts. In BH we watch Ashton mourn the ability to trust. Idk. I hope we see more of him in future.

5. Caduceus.

Look, I love Cad, I just also love every other Tal character I've seen. And Cad just narratively and as a complex character comes up that little bit short to me. I love watching his clips. But the rants I did about the others' themes and how they get me to think? I don't get that with Cad so much. I get him, honestly I do. I love him repping the aroaces in that wonderful gossipy way. I love how he only ever silently panics and won't call attention to himself [I only realised how much of myself I saw in him in that moment when they stole a ship and I was like "...oh."]. I love how he canonically did drugs just to try and connect with what felt like a dying connection between him and his God [again something that wasn't really touched on but Holy Shit]. I love how he only apologised for being weak when he asked his Goddess whether his family was OK. He does have depth. Depth that never seems to be taken much deeper than surface level with the Nein and I can honestly only hope that Cad and Kingsley are treating each other well cause they really both need somebody on the outside to Talk To.

I don't actually Know the other 2. So this is it:)

[lemotmo]

Celebrate good times 🎉🎉🎉

Q. Surprise surprise everyone spiralled for no reason. But I'm super curious to know what you thought of the interview?

A. Actually many of us weren't spiralling at all because we understood there wasn't anything he was really going to be able to say regarding Buddie. And surprise, surprise he said nothing. It was actually a very good interview overall (Eddie is Jesus for the win!) I spent the last several days reading quite a bit of Jeff's previous work and he's very good at what he does so I wasn't worried at all about this interview. Listen I was already 100% certain that Buddie was happening and his non answer to the Buddie question only furthered my belief. Every other answer he gave was well thought out and perfectly articulated until he got to the Buddie question. And because he couldn't say anything he just threw out a bunch of words that when jumbled together gave the illusion of an answer when he really didn't answer the question at all. He was clearly desperately trying to not say anything he wasn't supposed to and it was hilarious.

Look it's easy to say that everything we're seeing now is because the show is finally on a network that understands how to promote their shows. And actually wants to promote the show. But the pr focus is very intentionally, and noticeably, Buddie centric. The Family Feud episode, all the Ryan and Oliver interviews, the Ryan photoshoots, Oliver playing in the NBA all-star game, the pop culture jeopardy question (I need people to understand how big that actually is), the New Years Instagram post, it's all Buddie focused. They are getting very close to hard launch territory. So while you can say some of it may genuinely be the result of moving to a network who not only understood what they had, but actively embraced the idea of it, that doesn't account for how singularly focused on them the pr has been. No one else on the show is coming close to getting that much attention from the network. I cannot stress that enough. The majority, including the journalists who cover the show, all believe this is going the same direction. We wouldn't all be seeing it or reading it incorrectly. The network, the show, and Ryan and Oliver all know what people think is coming and I do believe at this point if it wasn't happening they would say it outright. It is not difficult to say something like 'they love each other and have an incredible bond and are absolutely family. We will continue to focus on them and the unit they have created together but it will be in a platonic manner'. That's just not hard to say. And I believe at this point, given the fact that the majority are now anticipating the show pairing them off together, that they would have absolutely stopped the speculation. I've already said I believe they're coming this season but I actually believe it's happening sooner than I even thought. I won't be surprised if we know by 8x13. Does that mean they're officially a couple by then? Not necessarily, but I wouldn't be surprised if we know by then. I don't think ABC has any intention of dragging this out very long. There's too much focus. It's been building for 7 years and I think the network is looking forward to capitalizing on the popularity.

Thank you Nonny!

Yes to all of this. I've already posted extensively about the interview so I won't be doing it here anymore. But essentially, Buddie is coming and I agree with Ali that we will get confirmation sooner than later where the story is going.

Like Ali said though, I don't think they'll be together by 8x13. But I do think they'll both be aware of their feelings and then the whole pining, longing and 'will they won't they' era will begin, just like Oliver wanted. 😋 They'll probably take this story to its natural conclusion towards the end of the season.

It's odd just how sure I am about this. The me from a few years ago could only dream of fandom times like these. 🤗

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[mymarifae]

sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck

[ourceliumnetwork]

finally tackled the absolute mountain of laundry in various states of cleanliness around my room. now all of it is sorted and put into its respective zones of "away".

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia. I've been a fan of your work for a long time now and was wondering if you'd ever write an original sci-fi story or an original contemporary

Altho I know FFS probably classifies as contemporary 🤔 But I just saw that as a human au loosely based off Fae Tales

Fae Tales is an original series with my own original characters, and Falling Falling Stars is an entirely original contemporary story that features only some of those original characters, so technically, it is an original contemporary story. I'm not using someone else's IP, so it's not really fanfic. Something being an AU doesn't make it fanfic, for example, if an artist who draws a superhero character decides to draw them as a merman for Mermay, they're not doing 'fanfiction' of someone else's character - they're doing original art of one of their original characters, y'know? It's just another way of looking at them. Plenty of authors have re-used their characters in other things, this is especially common in comics, but it also happens in fantasy writing a lot too. Also doesn't mean those things become fanfic! Still all original, just has an AU component. :D

But AUs aside...

Otherwise, like, sure I'd consider it! My next works are likely to both be original fantasy worlds, but I like science fiction and I like writing contemporary. I've written original omegaverse in a contemporary setting with the Perth Shifters series, but straight up contemporary is definitely something I've thought up scenarios for.

Science fiction generally doesn't interest me quite as much as fantasy does, but all speculative fiction is interesting/enjoyable to me. That being said, all the next original worlds I've thought up - Daemonos, Glamour Gods, Vexteria, Mallory & Mount etc. are all respectively medieval-style science fiction (but really more like a fantasy, it's just interplanetary), paranormal science-fiction romance, high/epic/secondary world fantasy, high/epic/secondary world fantasy/psychological thriller.

It's more fun for me to sandbox in specfic, because like... I don't get to write characters who have naturally violet eyes, or shapeshifting demons, or fairy-human hybrids who are used by criminals and governments for their glamour as enslaved propaganda machines, or characters who are actually just pretty human but where magic is illegal and serial killers are super common actually.

Contemporary is easy for me to write, but it's not as appealing overall unless it's in situations like Falling Falling Stars, or Smoke in Autumn, or As Green as the Ragged Grass, or Spoils of the Spoiled, or...

Actually you know I've written a fair bit of original contemporary!

I've actually finished a contemporary novel in the past, which a few folks have read bits of through the Patreon over time, called Every Day Awake. The playlists for the characters (Allie, Brad and Jacob) are still on Spotify, as character playlists. I still plan on rewriting that book one day, but it's definitely not high on my priority list.

[quatregats]

Current Situation would actually probably be solved if I stopped looking to Projects for all my satisfaction in life

[erstwhilesparrow]

sparrow's short story and poetry recs (incomplete)

@desultorydenouement requested some recommendations for [generally stuff i've read that inspires / influences my writing]. i don't know if these all fit that requirement exactly, but. i sure do think about these ones a lot. here you go, hope you enjoy!

poetry:

Per Fumum by Jamaal May - My father was an astronomer / for forty minutes in a row / the first time a bus took us so far / from streetlights he could point out constellations / that may or may not have been Draco, / Orion, Aquila, or Crux. Sometimes I still catch myself using the phrasing of "[someone] was [a role / profession] for [some number of units of time] in a row" in my own writing. I like... the idea of curiosity / wonder / experimentation as something that puts you in a tradition of all the scientists and thinkers that have come before you.

Evolution by Linda Bierds - You know that feeling when it occurs to you for maybe the first time ever that hey, you're an adult now and you can decide what to do about your [fashion / food / leisure time] and you pick something you like that you wouldn't have tried to pick before and now that thing is special to you specifically? This poem is that, for poetry, for me. Alan Turing, and life, and all the dark mares on their dark shadows.

A Toast To The Alchemists by Laura Gilpin - Look, I like when people do poetry about science, and I love love love talking / thinking about the history of science, I don't know what to tell you. Last stanza makes me vaguely achy.

The Fish by Marianne Moore - If I had to pick a favourite poem ever, it'd be this one. First learned about it How to Read Poetry Like a Professor by Thomas Foster and it fills me with delight. I like how it looks on the page, I like its rhyme scheme, I like its language and imagery, I like the whole act of digging around in it. Did one of my favourite high school presentations on this poem.

NUMBERS by Mary Cornish - A joy to read out loud. I said this to a friend of mine and she immediately called me and demanded I read it to her and it was delightful! Highly recommended experience. It's... fun! Playful. Appreciative of something I think we are not appreciative of enough.

Rick Deckard Comes Home by Kanami Ayau - Even if this poem was just the phrase 'syncopated two-step dog-tag paramour' I would still love it. Have you ever heard anything condensed so perfectly well? Can you hear the drumbeat of it? I will never stop thinking about this.

Second Street Drifting by Austin Walker - You may have noticed this link takes you to a wiki page. I'm cheating with this one because the poem is from a podcast (Friends at the Table) and the podcast, really, is the thing that's a huge inspiration / influence for me, but this poem on its own, too: perfect. It is delicious to read out loud and delicious to hear read out loud -- Austin savours every syllable in his reading, and it is completely justified.

Catastrophe is Next to Godliness by Franny Choi - Lord, I confess I want the clarity of catastrophe but not the catastrophe. Just. Yeah. Big fan of Franny Choi in full generality. More of their work here!

Beautiful Short Loser by Ocean Vuong - Joy? Gender? Brilliance and confidence and that one interview he gave where he was like, and this is paraphrasing badly, "I insist on being a man and on using he/him specifically to complicate what those things can / should mean" ?

The Melancholy of Mechagirl by Catherynne M. Valente - Part of a collection of poems and short stories by the same name. I love this poem; it is fun and bright and touches things I care about (mechs, bodies, sci-fi concerned with the individual and the personal). The short stories I don't tend to feel as strongly about but some of them are stick-in-your-brain-for-days-after great. Recommend taking a look at the whole book!

I can't pick a Mary Oliver one. I simply cannot do it. But read her poems. They're excellent.

short stories:

The Library of Babel by Jorge Luis Borges - I love weird architecture. I love buildings and structures that make no fucking sense. I love infinity. I love finding horror or wonder or despair or meaning in those things. This story is about more than that, but mostly it's about an infinite library that our narrator moves through and describes to us. Don't ask me why it's on genius dot com of all places.

I Am In Eskew Episode 1: Correspondence - This is cheating because it's a podcast transcript. It's not cheating because this first episode is entirely stand-alone, really excellent, and caters to (almost) all of the interests I like to talk about on Tumblr: architectural horror, unusual intimacies, meat, locations that are alive and have a lot of feelings about you. A man named David, a relatively recent arrival in the city of Eskew, chases down the source(s) of a series of bizarre exchanges in the correspondences section of the local paper.

The Narrative Implications of Your Untimely Death by Isabel J. Kim - Judging by where I remember seeing your username around, you will also care about this. Get fucked up about characters that know they are characters with me. Get fucked up about people who are constantly putting on a performance, forever aware of where the audience is and what they might inflict on you, intentionally or not. (Second person POV story about someone signing on to a reality TV show and trying to play the part just the right way to get to leave.)

Exhalation by Ted Chiang - A thoughtful, melancholy, wonderful exploration of a different world, where people explode into showers of gold when they die, and the narrator learns about and comes to terms with how utterly temporary and completely doomed their people are. Makes me sad, but in a slow and gentle way, you know?

A Guide for Working Breeds by Vina Jie-Min Prasad - Two robots become friends by bonding over the following: dogs, killing, and the horrors of capitalism. Very sweet, very [sunshine x storm cloud] pair of characters. I feel fondly about it and managed to make me very sad by shuffling some numbers around in a list of unread notifications. (Also, I've found Tor.com has a lot of cool SFF stuff in general?)

A Very Special Pigeon by Cao Wenxuan, translated by Helen Wang - Pigeons. Friendship. Something complicated and difficult to describe but nevertheless recognizably sad. Reading this definitely Did Something to my writing style, but it's hard to tell what. Two boys somewhere in China are joined by the fact of pigeons, and the racing thereof.

Alien Hand Syndrome (Nth Street) by Molly Ofgeography - Utterly charming. When I say I want to write characters that are strange and specific and charming and alive, I mean like this. Cavendish Grotto (what a name, right!!) does not control his left hand; it does what it will. Cavendish Grotto lives his life.

[“Power absorption?” you ask him over your pasta, which you are currently absorbing powerfully.] by inkskinned - Written for a prompt, about how someone with a fairly mediocre superpower gets to be considered one of the top ten most powerful superheros. There's plenty of stuff on Tumblr that's in this wheelhouse or adjacent to it that I also really enjoy, but this is one of the first I read and it still sticks in my brain.

The Magician's Apprentice by Tasmyn Muir - Power and hunger and eating people. Welcome to All Of My Interests. A magician teaches his apprentice the utterly laborious art of performing magic. It's horrifying, it's glorious.

The Hydraulic Emperor by Arkady Martine - That vaguely sick feeling of trying to tally up some numbers and realizing, as you redo the calculations with increasing desperation, that it doesn't add up, that you're going to fall short? You can assume I'm being metaphorical or literal, but this story is like that. It's gorgeous, it's terrific, it's about how much you are willing to give up and for what. (It's about a collector on the hunt for a film that is effectively lost media. To win access to a print of it, they go to an auction where people are made to sacrifice irreplaceable parts of themselves or of history.)

Sestu Hunts the Last Deer in Heaven by M. H. Cheung - This one just feels good to read? Wild and lovely. It doesn't feel like it tries very hard or wants very much to explain itself, just drags you into its world and makes you keep up. I think the title gives you enough of a premise. I couldn't offer anything better, sorry.

A Farce to Suit the New Girl by Rebecca Fraimow - A new girl joins a Yiddish theatre troupe travelling through Russia right after the Tsar has been killed. (I don't know / recall which Tsar.) Everyone's trying to get through in one piece and help each other out, and everyone is so insistently themselves in a way I wish I could do more.

Texts from the Ghost War by Alex Yuschik - There's a war, because there are ghosts. People fight them in mechs. One of those mech pilots accidentally strikes up a friendship with a prince. This story is the development of that relationship, as told through texts. Describing it as sweet feels insufficient, though it is that. I like when things are true in SFF worlds without trying to explain themselves, I think.

L'Esprit de L'Escalier by Catherynne M. Valente - I did just say I am not particularly taken by some of her short stories. HOWEVER. THIS ONE IS VERY GOOD. Orpheus succeeds in getting Eurydice back. This is what happens after, and it sucks massively for everyone involved. Graphic depictions of decomposing bodies, which is both content warning, and reason I am so admiring of it.

[A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river.] by sadoeuphemist - I think about this one frequently. The scorpion and the frog, across many iterations.

[love-to-love-puppies]

.

[xhda1449x]

ok apparently 30 tags is the limit on tumblr and I'm putting it here because I couldn't put it in the tags

for my own curiosity, because my tragedy enjoying boggles the minds of a bunch of my irl social circle.