#poll is over but screw it i wanna rant

[xhda1449x]

ok apparently 30 tags is the limit on tumblr and I'm putting it here because I couldn't put it in the tags

for my own curiosity, because my tragedy enjoying boggles the minds of a bunch of my irl social circle.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

A

LMAOOOO yeah lowk it was still more funny than embarrassing for me catching that typo here but if I found it after I sent it to someone else I think I’d be a goner

(Also wait speaking of I forgot to mention you’re seriously a trooper for reading all of orv…I followed the comic for awhile but I have a friend whose obsessed with it and like summarized the entire novel to me in like an essay (I’m still confused as hell because I lost track of the details) but after hearing it all from them it’s truly a ride…)

NOOO I SAW!! Ofc it’s sae LMAO classic itoshi scenario…yk maybe Karasu nation will come in clutch last minute…(I’m ngl I’m kinda glad none of those characters are on there oops LMAOOO I also don’t think they’d have much to do with aiku and honestly there’s so many works of them all) Ok I still kinda feel like it’s a win tho bc Karasu and Barou in second and third???

FRRR the edits are gonna go so hard…just imagine the Barou stripping scene LMAOO (the dudebros glazing Barou are everywhere omg)

I love how “the white haired dude” is an archetype of its own it’s so funny but so real…(gotta confess Im usually in the white haired dude fan section like somehow I end up gravitating to them too)

IM CRYING THE PARENTHESES it just goes on“or fifth…sixth……15th…” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

I’m crying your writing has made MY standards too high but honestly so real…even seabird sae is already better than like…a good majority of the population out there this is lowk sad

LMAOAO THE SELF HELP BOOKS I see the vision the purple green was also perfect for him

OOOOH I guess we’ve just gotta see what tiktok audio pops up on your fyp LOL but I’m excited I was leaning towards chigiri or Barou I was looking cooking way more for their ideas

LOL it’s ok that Nagi requester will get Nagi content from oaeu too!! I’m actually so hyped for the series

LMAO I plugged them into a generator and got Karasu!! I guess it’s the universe telling me not to stray from Karasu nation….lowk almost forgot that he’s essentially my namesake I got too desensitized to it so the generator really said remember your origins

OHHHHHHHHHH wait that’s kinda stupid on tumblrs part wdym the creator can’t see the results unless they vote??? SHDHS thats actually so annoying your rant is so valid (also just generally feel free to go wild ranting or venting it’s all good w me) im ngl if you want the next time you make a poll i can just vote early on and keep you updated on the results if you don’t wanna have that option there for people to screw with…but BRO YUKI AND OTOYA???? I know they generally still lag behind Karasu in terms of popularity s2 please save them

LMAO nah it’s perfectly reasonable and valid like some people don’t have the brain development for proper impulse control ig like damn

Ok well in the time I was writing it ig it’s over now good for you sae fans good for you (BOOO TOMATO TOMATO /j)

- Karasu anon

HAHAH our freaks are so matched i don’t even blink at 90% of your typos we truly are the same person LMAOAO

omg i LOVEDDDD orv i read it on my phone in the summer of 2023 when i had nothing else to do and it was genuinely so so good like the novel is PEAK i never read the webcomic version because i’m attached to the translations in the novel even though they’re not “official” but genuinely the novel is probably one of if not THE best things i’ve ever read like it actually changed my brain chemistry fr (it’s a long build but the ending arc is peak fiction)

SAE WON 💔 but very proud of karasu nation and barou nation for locking in and getting them so close to sae that was def unexpected!! and yeahhh that’s the vibe i was getting too like there’s no way for them to realistically be involved w aiku so it wouldn’t make sense for them to be there PLUS i don’t like them that much so i can’t cook up an idea to involve them w aiku the way i did w nagi 😰 speaking of which i think i have the idea for yukimiya HAHA basically aiku is like “okay we’re the two oldest blue lock members let’s be best friends 😄” and yukimiya is like “thanks but i already have a bestie ☺️” and ofc aiku is like WHAT and has to do some heavy recon (he probs recruits niko too LMAO atp niko is an honorary wingman just because he’s consistently aiku’s sidekick) and that’s where he finds reader which makes be like “hold on there is definitely something romantic going on here” so he tries to get yuki and reader together in order to finally have a soccer playing bff who’s also relatively normal (@ barou)

the craziest thing abt dude bros glazing barou is that he’s physically their ideal but in every other way he is NOTHING like them!! like that man respects women, cooks and cleans, is willing to accept his mistakes and work on them, hates people who are mid…he would think they’re goofy asf 😭

KDJDKSSJ i normally don’t really go for the white haired characters but nagi is an exception…my other top favs have been eren from aot (brown hair), megumi and yuta from jjk (black hair), and shinah from yotd (blue hair??) HAHA honesty karasu and rin are very in line w the kinds of characters i typically like physically but idk smth abt nagi appeals to me the most 🙂‍↕️

FBKDDNSJSN luckily it was NOT shidou!! i’m going to repost it so i’m sure you’ll know by the time you read this but i got chigiri 🤩 which honestly i can actually see but specifically his actual canon miraverse characterization NOT his overly feminized fandom self 😭 apparently they originally thought nagi which slay but they came to the same realization i did a while ago which is that as much as i love him the two of us are too similar in some ways and too different in other ways so we would actually not work out irl 😓💔 honestly chigimira wasn’t one i was necessarily expecting but it might be what i needed (idk if i could muster up a long fic idea for chigiri…maybe?? we will see #tbd)

LMAOAAO me when a man slides into my dms but he doesn’t buy me plane tickets and an expensive sandwich 😒 abt to start telling everyone i have a bf or smth HAHA because unless a man is miraverse bllk men level he’s simply not replacing nagi or karasu or sae or whoever 🥱

HELPP i’m glad the vision comes through i rlly like this cover!! i think i’m going to put the character’s name where it said “masterlist” on the masterlist so it’s easy to tell who the individual oneshot is abt 🤩 don’t want people to start reading expecting an aiku fic (at least until the last part which actually is for aiku)

i just got a barou request HAHA so it’ll def be chigiri or MAYBE bachira depending on what i feel inspired for!! agreed it’s time to open tik tok and feel the vibes out for what i want to write next…maybe watch some edits too while i’m at it for further assistance 😏

HAHA no fr stay true to your origins…i’m going to write all of them eventually anyways so it’s not that deep but i just wanted to figure out where I should start since all of them have such good premises that i can’t decide!! rip otoya and yukimiya though…hoping s2 + oaeu converts more people 😰

for now i think it should be okay like it’s nbd since so many other people do vote as well it’s just like a personal pet peeve HFKDJDSJS we all have smth that makes us tweak i suppose…i’m just in my isagi on field era 😩 i don’t do polls that often so it shouldn’t be a huge issue but expect me to have at least a paragraph in our convos crashing out over that whenever i do end up making a poll 😭

sae nation is too strong…they’re inevitable fr KFJDKD honestly proud of karasu and reo for hanging on for a bit that’s impressive 🤩 in the end though an itoshi bro is basically a guaranteed win (unless like i said kaiser or MAYBE isagi are in the running too)

[toastedbuckwheat]

Inktober 2019 - day 16

Self portrait, because it was an important day. 

Had my first appointment with the gender doctor!!

It wouldn’t have happened (or certainly not so quickly) without your contributions and support. Thank you so much. You guys are a blessing and I never expected so much help! 

It means now I can finally do my *first transition update*

My hair was a bit more presentable than pictured above when I got to the touristy heart of London and sat in the (surprisingly posh, my mind of a poor art graduate was blown) waiting room to have my first consultation. If you wanna know which doctor did I go to or know more, please drop me a message; I just somehow don’t feel comfortable operating with names of respected medical professionals so openly on my fanart blog. I don’t think I need to describe how nervous I was - today had a potential to either be the best day of my life (in unlikely circumstances of getting hormones prescribed there and then) or at least a step towards a better life, finally.

It was both slightly difficult and very relieving, that meeting. Mostly her trying to get to know me, asking loads of general questions rather than doing a dry box ticking exercise that I expected in that situation. Taking her time.  I was surprised when she mentioned she had concerns about me reaching out to her for testosterone and not making the top surgery my first step, seeing that I identified as non-binary (the exact opposite of how the public gender clinic approaches the situation!) - and that she had not had good outcomes who took that route. I think it got clarified when I mentioned that a desire to have a surgery first was the original reason why I contacted the GIC (Gender Identity Clinic - the public one) two years ago, and while waiting to be seen by them (as I ranted before, it currently takes 2 years to get to a first assessment) I realised that there were other things that affect how I feel about myself on a daily basis- such as my voice, the fact that I do not pass if I wear anything remotely feminine etc - I basically decided that I did in fact need hormones, and it would be a long route to even get a smell of it through the strained National Health Services. It is worth mentioning that she is respectful of the non-binary identity and attempt not to make it more difficult (the GIC do, apparently?), however - how I understood it at least - she tried to exercise pushing me into binary for the sake of finding out whether hormones are what I really want, because of course taking it wouldn’t really leave me ‘in between’ and whether we want it or not, people do immediately categorise us as male or female. Her take was that being on testosterone, after certain point at least, would push me the other side, so she wanted to find out whether I would for instance be comfortable if people suddenly started calling me ‘he’. I of course exclaimed something along the lines of ‘hell yes??? i would be comfortable, please may I be a he???’, but I understand the concern. It wasn’t in a ‘you briefly mentioned you could describe your gender as enby, I will now deny you HRT’ way, not at all. It felt more profound and caring.

One thing that made me very nervous is the fact that she wanted me to change my name by deed poll. Now, I would have done it long time ago had I known it was legal for me to do! But I am not a British citizen yet, so changing my name and all British documents would result in a conflict with my Polish passport. Which I wish I could change, but as there’s no other way to have your sex reassigned in Poland but by taking your own parents to court (which in my case also requires a lawyer to represent my deceased father whom I never met)  over mistakenly assigning you the wrong sex at birth or however else should I formulate this bullshit of a law - I can’t do it just right now. Yes, you don’t just go there and tell them you’re trans - you sue your own parents, despite being a grown up - and technically parents could make it difficult fot you. I don’t think I’m strong enough or have enough money to fly back and forth to a hostile country that treated me so badly just to follow this process. But if I do change my name in the UK now, this will have to be done asap. And the doctor, who said she’s advised that to multiple foreigners living here - says it will actually be required by the GIC as an important milestone in living in a desired gender role (screw that, I’ve been living in one for years, I just wanna be legal and use my passport, and Brexit is coming!!!)

Meanwhile, after 22 months of a wait about which I rambled multiple times, the GIC suddenly texted (!) me on Friday asking me to contact them asap cuz they might have a short notice appointment for me. I was at work til late, so I called them on Monday morning, just to discovered that the slot had been snatched. I was not particularly surprised by it. But then I got another call in the afternoon informing me that they had one more appointment available, but it was going to be this Thursday. That is, in a few hours from the moment I am writing it. I am shocked that I will finally be seen - surely no chance for hormones/surgery recommendation right now, and the next appointment won’t be in a year knowing how things work, but at least something!

So that’s it - congratulations if you’ve gotten to the end of it! I hope things progress soon; I am nervous AF but at least the ball is rolling now. 

I still do accept any donations from kind ppl who wish to buy me a virtual coffee - there’s a secret drawing of Aziraphale in the updates section that should be revealed upon making a contribution! Again, thanks to all of you who made things possible so I had something to write this long post about!!

and as always thanks to my dearest @mimimarilynart who is always here for me and somehow hasn’t died from listening to my rants yet. Thank you for being so supportive all the time <3

[old-read-all-about-kpop]

Anonymous:  Yo so idk how many request u have rn and I also don't wanna be like... annoying since I already requested two times but I just rlly can't get enough of ur writing so I'd like to request an Ateez reaction to ur bf/gf breaking up w/ u and ur all emotionally messed up and he (as ur bff (who maybe has a lil crushon u)) is kinda comforting u and eventually even confessing idk let ur creativity flow :) hope ur doing good, have a great day/night!!💝~💎

A/N: Yo so you’re not being annoying by requesting multiple times like what! How could you say such a thing? You’re my first anon (I would die for you) and I appreciate your very existence. I am beyond happy in knowing that you enjoy my writing, and I hope you continue to do so. So, without further ado, here is the reaction my love! 💓💓💓💓

Hongjoong

Your pained cries were the only sounds that disrupted the silence in the room. You clung onto Hongjoong like he was your lifeline, and you were close to dying. You felt like it, at least. The pain that has been inflicted on your heart just felt too overwhelming. 

Hongjoong, on the other hand, was trying his hardest not to succumb to his anger. For the umpteenth time, your douchebag of a boyfriend - well, ex-boyfriend now thank God - hurt you once again. But, this time, Hongjoong was uncertain if you’d ever come back from this agony. 

Your ex cheated on you. After everything you had put up with, the deception, the temper tantrums, the degrading, the possessiveness, the controlling egotistic remarks, he decided to cheat on you on your first anniversary! Unbelievable! Joong knew the guy was a tool but this just put the cherry on the top.

Joong tightened his hold on you, hoping that his embrace would keep you in one piece. He dreaded the moment he would let go and you would crumble like a fragile artifact. 

Joong kissed the crown of your head then, hearing you now settle down to heartbreaking sniffles. “I know it hurts, sweetheart.” He sighed heavily. “If only you were mine. I would treat you the way you deserved. Like a goddess.” He said this in a whisper as he rested his chin on the top of your head. He didn’t wish to confess like this while you were so emotional, but he still felt like it should be stated.

You raised your head up the slightest, gently kissing the underside of Hongjoong’s jaw. “I know, Joong. I know.”

Seonghwa

“After everything I’ve done for that prick and he has the audacity to break up with me? The one who helped him get a job? The one who has been giving him money so he can buy food during his lunch breaks? The one who slaves over a hot stove to cook him lunch when he is tired of buying food?” With each jab thrown at the jerk who stormed off after breaking the relationship off, you tore off pieces of the tissue you had in your hands.

You chuckled humorlessly. “You know what? Good riddance!” You began to tear at the innocent tissue angrily. “I never needed him. I never did!” Your speed-tearing faltered, your shoulders dropped. “He wasn’t any real good for me anyway,” you whispered. Your bottom lip quivered. You finally realized that you shouldn’t have dealt with the mistreatment he was giving you as long as you did. You began to realize how foolishly invested you were in that awful relationship. You should’ve known better.

Seonghwa took hold of your chin, leading your eyes to meet his. His gaze was solemn with sparks of anger and disgust that could easily be assumed to be aimed at your slimeball of an ex-boyfriend.

Seonghwa caressed your cheek delicately as if you were prone to breaking under his touch. You probably were by the amount of emotions you were feeling inside. He then wiped away a tear that, unbeknownst to you, slid down your cheek.

“You know you don’t have to put on this false charade of you being unaffected by that douchebag, right? I know you’re hurting inside, y/n. That’s okay. I know you had deep love for him, even though he didn’t deserve one bit of it. But, you’re human, you’re allowed to love and, unfortunately, to feel pain and devastation. So, go ahead, cry. I won’t judge you. Not even a little bit.”

Like a dam that had collapsed from the strength of the water, your eyes polled with tears before they fell like paratroopers. You dived into Seonghwa’s chest, letting out all the heartache that enveloped your body in broken sobs.

Seonghwa didn’t hesitate to pull you closer to him, rubbing your back as you cried. He brushed your hair away from your face and, despite the situation, gazed lovingly at your face and the beauty you humbly held. 

As he placed his cheek on the top of your head, rocking you back and forth, he sighed deeply. “When everything has settled down, I would love to dote on you and cherish you the way you deserve.” He chuckled. “I think we both know you earned it after that tragedy.”

You giggled, hiccuping immediately after, unknowingly pulling on your best friend's heartstrings. You tightened your hold on his waist before parting your lips to speak the words Seonghwa didn’t expect to hear in a million years. 

“I would love that, SeongSeong.”

Yunho

“Y/n, please, let me in,” Yunho softly said, knocking on your bedroom door. Upon receiving no response, he cursed to himself. He just had to put his foot in his mouth when you needed him.

You called him an hour ago, stating that it was an emergency and you needed him yesterday. Yunho, worried for your well-being, hurriedly packed his duffle bag with clothes and essentials and ordered a Lyft in a matter of five minutes. He didn’t wanna risk keeping you waiting.

Once he got to your place, you two sat down in the living room, where you let out a long-winded rant about your childish ex-boyfriend and how he completely embarrassed you during last night’s date. He assumed you were flirting with the waiter when, in actuality, you were engaging in some playful banter. But, being the stubborn mule that he was, he reprimanded you loudly in front of the other customers. It caused you to be kicked out of the restaurant. You were in shambles, utterly mortified over the spectacle.

And it only worsened from there when you gave him the silent treatment. He started calling you a brat and, eventually, once you got to your apartment, he called you a female dog. That was your last straw with anyone, no matter who they were.

You ended up kicking him out, losing your sense and going ballistic on him. It was satisfying seeing him taken aback by your sudden change in character but, once he was gone, you felt empty. Deflated. You didn’t understand what you did to deserve such mistreatment.

Yunho didn’t help the situation as he snarkily stated, “Well, I told you he was no good for you. But, with your head so far up his behind, I’m not surprised that you didn’t heed my warnings.”

Yeah, like that was what you needed in a time that you wished to be consoled. So, as you tried to keep the hurt and tears out of Yunho’s sight, you hurried for your bedroom. Yunho, quickly realizing his poor timing in wanting to say “I told you so,” raced to catch up with you. But, you were a second quicker as you almost had him kiss wood.

Twenty minutes have passed, leaving you to grow needier for some human contact, and Yunho to dwell in self-loathe. The silence was sometimes disrupted either by Yunho’s deep, sad sighs or your solemn sniffles. Your eyes were dry of any tears. You were back to feeling empty all over again.

“Y/n,” Yunho called, prompting you to look toward the door. “You know why I act like this? I know it isn’t right, nor is it excusable, but, the reason why I responded the way I did earlier was because...I love you. No, scratch that. I’m in love with you. Muffin, I have fallen for you. Your melodic laugh, your gentle tone of voice that could lull a puppy to sleep, your wise eyes, your down-to-earth mindset. I mean, there truly isn’t a thing that isn’t to fall in love with. 

Sweets, I’ve always wanted it to be me you’d end up with. But, until now, I’ve been hiding away my feelings like a dog does its tail when scared. I just didn’t wanna risk ruining our friendship. But now I say screw it. Because there is no way in Hell that we could break up. You are the puzzle piece that I need. We connect mentally and emotionally. What I’m trying to say is...is that...” He groaned, fishing for the right words. “What I am saying is that I want to be the man who-”

You pulled the door opened, immediately meeting the adorable brown eyes of the tall prince. You two stared at each other for a while. But, then, the corners of your mouth slowly lifted into a smile. Yunho slowly exhaled, having had held his breath.

You grabbed hold of Yunho’s hand, keeping eye contact the entire time. You lifted his large hand to your cheek, snuggling into the warmth it retained. Yunho could feel himself becoming putty.

“You’re the puzzle piece that I need too, Yunie.” You gazed up at him, showing him acceptance and love that he has been dying to see for the longest.

He felt like he had finally found the hidden oasis to your heart. 

“I swear to treat you like the queen you are, muffin.”

Yeosang

“So, I seriously can’t go to his house and egg it?”

You responded first with countless sniffles, trying very hard to reel in your emotions. You dabbed your eyes with a tissue as you spared your best friend a sideways look. “No, Sangie. You can’t egg his house. You could get arrested.”

“But he hurt you.”

“And you think the best way to get back at him is to egg his house? He could just clean that crap off.” You sat back into the couch cushions then, fiddling with the tissue. “No scars are gonna remain.” 

Tears quickly welled up in your eyes, causing you to turn away and stifle any whimpers that tried to escape your chapped lips. Yeosang watched you with pity, careful not to let you see it on his face. He knew the minute you do you’ll feel even more pathetic than you already did. You always hated getting doted on or receiving sympathy from others. It eventually led you to shut out your vulnerability, leaving it for the times you are by yourself, sobbing in the confinements of your solidarity.

Yeosang, mustering up as much confidence as he could, grabbed hold of your shoulder and forced you to turn around to face him. You kept your face down, refusing to let Yeosang see you in such a miserable state. But Yeosang didn’t care one bit. He was happy in knowing that you felt comfortable in allowing him see you with your emotions on display, with your heart on your sleeve. He wanted nothing more than to tend to you and your beaten heart.

With a tight grip on his nerve, Yeosang took hold of your face, cupping it in his hands tenderly as if you were a porcelain doll. He rubbed his thumbs across your cheeks, hoping that you could feel his love for you through his soft touches.

“Y/n,” he began before wetting his lips. He took a deep breath in, his nervousness bucking within him like a raging bull. “Darling, you’re so special to me. More than you can ever know. And, as cliche as it may sound, it physically hurts me when you date these boys who don’t respect you. They don’t see the halo that envelops your body. They’re blind to it. Because you are an absolute angel and deserve nothing less than the love and tenderness that you deserve in your life. Y/n, you deserve the world! And...I want to provide it to you. I know it’s probably in poor taste to confess my feelings to you at this sad point in your life but I just felt like I was-”

He was cut off by the feel of your plush lips against his. His eyes were the sizes of soccer balls as he tried to fathom the turn in events. But, the glorious feel of your lips molding into his had his eyes flutter shut. In no time did he recapture your cheeks in his hands. He pulled you in closer, relishing in the blissfulness of finally kissing you. Embracing you to the full extent that he wanted to. He was gonna show you that you were a queen that needed to be worshipped. He was going to cherish you.

San

Quiet sobs and heart-wrenching whimpers were the only sounds that disrupted the silence in your bedroom. You clutched onto San tightly, prompting him to pull you in closer as well. The pain in your heart was overpowering, weighing down on you like cement blocks. The only way to keep you from crumbling under the extreme weight was by holding onto San, who has been nothing but comforting and a great support system.

A couple of minutes passed before your cries ceased. Now, you were just laying on San, thinking of nothing as your face dried from the salty tears that stained your face. San, still being as quiet as a mouse, never stopped rubbing your back. Rising and falling along with his chest as he breathed caused you to fall under the impression that you were on a boat, bobbing along to the calm waves of the ocean. It was a lovely reminder that you were not alone in this awful moment in your life.

You rose up then, causing San to drop his arms from around you and fiddle with the hem of your (his) sweatshirt. He peered at you expectantly, his eyes soft like a puppy’s. You couldn’t help but admire him for a few heartbeats. His face was serene with the slightest hint of sadness. Sadness toward you, of course, his one and only.

He reached his hand out then, lightly touching your face as if not to startle you with the contact. You dipped your face deeper into the palm of his hand, happily welcoming his touch. San smiled then, a gentle one that had yet to be adorned by his dimples.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, San spoke, but quietly as to not harm the silence. “Listen, Y/n... You might not want to hear this right now but, I need to say this or else I will continue to have this restless ache in my heart that I know will kill me one day. 

“Princess, you are a gem. You are a precious part of my life that I cherish with every fiber in my body. I hate seeing you frown. Your cries inflict so much pain within me. Baby, you’re a flower. He was weed killer. He was diminishing your light and that was the most sinful thing he could have ever done to you. 

“Again, you might not want to hear this but, I love you. I’m in love with you, to be frank. I don’t want to ever see sadness take over your beautiful face. If I ever were to be the cause, I would fall to my knees and repent. And you know why? Because you matter to me. Without you," he sighed heavily, "I don’t think my days would be as bright as they are when you are with me.”

Tears poured over your waterline. But, this time, it wasn’t due to how melancholy you were feeling. No man has ever conveyed such poetic words like San just did. No one went out of their way to say such sweet words to you with as much sincerity and love as San did. His eyes, observing you carefully, were gleaming with hope for your answer and adoration that genuinely displayed his feelings for you.

Without saying a word, you let your actions do the talking. You leaned down and wrapped your arms around his neck. Instinctively, San engulfed you with his strong arms, pulling you so close that he could’ve fused your bodies together.

You then placed a soft kiss on his cheek, letting your lips linger on his smooth skin for a few seconds before snuggling into his safe embrace. This is where you belonged. At this moment, you flourished, and thus you wished you could freeze time. You were finally back to being a full-grown flower, no longer wilted, as you had San, your water, soil, and sunlight.

Mingi

Thirty minutes ago, you texted Mingi to come to you two’s favorite spot immediately. And the moment you texted “I need you,” Mingi’s confusion disappeared like smoke as he dashed for the closest hoodie and practically ran out of the dorm. 

Now, as you two softly swung back and forth in your chosen swing, you two were embraced by a pregnant silence. It calmed you more ways than one. It seemed to coddle you, providing you some peace that you dearly needed. The fight you and your ex had was explosive, and it didn’t help that you saw a naked broad exit the bathroom, asking in her child-like voice where the shampoo was. To think that you were gonna be the pushing force for him to change his player ways. All your friends  warned you and told you that you were putting your heart in the battlefield. Your poor, innocent heart.

Mingi glanced at you nervously, unnerved by your cold expression and hard gaze. Upon his arrival, you merely whispered a “hi” before having him sit with you in this annoying silence. Whispers turned to shouts as they demanded Mingi to say something, anything in order to snap you back into reality. He was afraid you were too deep in your thoughts. He knew you did that a lot when you were bothered by something. But, usually, when you felt hurt, you would confide in Mingi the minute you two saw each other. It was almost like an instinct more than it was a habit.

Mingi, finally gathering some courage, cleared his throat awkwardly. You didn’t even blink. That was when he knew you were in too deep at that moment.

Swiftly, Mingi made his way over to you, standing in front of you. But, you were still unfazed by him. He then seized your face, jerking your head up so you may be looking into his gentle gaze. You blinked then, your eyes widening the slightest at how close you two’s faces were. 

Mingi brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes scanning your entire face. Whatever he was preparing to say flushed down his throat like a toilet. He gulped, unintentionally pushing the words further down his throat. He had to clear his throat a few times to prevent himself from choking.

His irises scurried over your face hurriedly, as if they were trying to indulge themselves in your quiet beauty without looking too greedy but also not too stingy.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he mumbled, talking more to himself than you. “How could someone be dumb enough to mistreat you as if you were some ordinary rock? You’re a freaking diamond, for God’s sake! How does one not know the difference?" He scoffed. "Oh, I know, someone who doesn’t understand true value. But I do and your value goes above and beyond. Because you are worthy and I feel like a peasant as I dream of being with you. Appreciating you. Loving you.” He shook his head slowly, closing his eyes for a moment, and inhaling deeply. 

He opened his eyes. Immediately, they refocused on you like a Polaroid. He blanched then, realizing that his rambling was not in the privacy of his mind. 

You, on the other hand, had a rosy hue inhabit your face. Your hands were trembling. What your best friend accidentally conveyed to you was your emotional undoing. Your eyes became glassy as you maintained eye contact. 

Mingi nibbled his pillowy bottom lip, dreading your reaction to his confession. You just got out of a relationship and he decides now to confess to you? Freaking fantastic!

You inhaled a shaky breath, hesitating on what to say to the beautiful man before you. You slowly swiped your tongue over your lips, parting them the slightest. “Can you help me see my worth?”

Mingi froze, staring deep into your eyes. Your eyes were glossy with vulnerability, an emotion that caused Mingi’s heart to crack. Your eyes held longing but also timidness. The man had to resist the urge to pull you into his chest.

Instead, Mingi bent down and pressed his forehead against yours. Before he fully settled into the position, though, he quickly lifted his head and placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. He then put his forehead back on yours, sighing fondly. 

“I would be honored to show you, gorgeous.”

Wooyoung

You heard a knock at your door, prompting you to hurry to open it. The minute you whipped it open, revealing the silver-haired young man, you broke out in loud sobs. 

“Yah!” Shocked, Wooyoung slammed the door behind him unintentionally hard and yanked you into his chest. He didn’t mean to be so aggressive but, the last thing he expected from your abrupt text was to see you in such an emotional state. You were never a crier. You only ever cried if you were angry or stressed. Thus, Wooyoung’s stress levels were boiling over.

Wooyoung rocked you two back and forth as he tightly embraced you. Your sobs were now muffled but your body shook from each hard cry that escaped your throat. Feeling you shake so violently had Wooyoung’s grip on you tighten even more. You were never the one to have this big of a breakdown. He was getting more and more worried about your mental health as the minutes ticked by. You had a part-time job, lived on your own, had rigorous studies to accomplish at your university, and you had a buffoon of a boyfriend who was inconsiderate and unbelievably rude when things didn’t go his way.

“He broke up with me,” you said in a shaky voice. Your cries calmed down finally, but the condition of your heart was unknown.

Wooyoung abruptly pulled you away from him, his eyes wide like saucers. There was a fire in his stare. 

He took hold of your face tenderly as if you were a day-old puppy. His gaze was soft as he scanned your face, but a flame would flicker alive every now and then as he wiped the tears off your lovely cheeks. He felt the vein in his neck throb. He wanted to punch something. Well, preferably, someone, and that someone was your pocket-brained ex-boyfriend. 

Wooyoung was snapped out of his angry thoughts when he felt your hand pat his chest. His eyes refocused on you, resuming eye contact. 

“Breathe, WooWoo,” you said, a small smile adorning your face. 

Just that smile alone gave him a smidge of hope that you would be okay. You needed to be okay. The thought of you being shattered from this breakup and becoming unrepairable destroyed him inside. You were his treasure, and he needed you with him on his journey through life.

Without thinking, Wooyoung leaned in and pressed his plush lips against yours. He suppressed a groan as he could finally feel the softness of your lips. It was thrilling. Like he was eating a forbidden fruit. And then he almost melted onto the floor when he soon felt your lips follow in sync with his, molding perfectly like puzzle pieces that have been united.

Suddenly, you pulled away. Fear, shock, and confusion shown in your eyes as your face remained as calm and collected as possible. You both were breathing unevenly as you watched each other closely. The silence was deafening.

You were the first to break the silence after a while. “Woo... What was that?” you asked slowly, still in a haze.

Wooyoung licked his lips, trying to quickly get a hold of his thoughts. He felt drunk off the long-awaited kiss. “I-I d-don’t know... I-I wasn’t thinking.” He groaned in frustration, running his fingers through his hair. The layers of thick hair moved beautifully, like soft sand on a beach. 

Silence fell over the both of you like an itchy wool blanket. You both felt jittery, hyper-sensitive, and utterly uncomfortable.

Finally, Wooyoung blessed you both with a break from the silence. “You know what? I know why I did it. You wanna know why? I’ll tell you! Because I freaking love you that it should be considered illegal!” he exclaimed.

You blinked slowly, processing everything sluggishly as if you were a outdated laptop.

Wooyoung continued, pacing. “God, Treasure! You are too good for this cruel world. I just wanna stuff you in my pocket and protect you from all things evil! But I know that you can handle yourself with no problem, which makes me wanna love you even more! You just don’t understand how much my heart yearns for you, y/n. Your beauty, your humbleness, your intelligence, your cute beauty marks that seem to be scattered over your entire body, and your adorable nose crinkle when I bop your nose is just the thing I need to see to decompress. All of those things cause me to have nothing but undying love for you and I want nothing more than to express that to you and appreciate your existence!” He took a deep breath, pausing from creating a strip in your floorboards. He knew he just spilled everything he felt for you in an angry-sounding rant (the complete opposite of what he had in mind when he would be presented the opportunity to finally confess) but he felt like he was getting closer to combusting the more he kept his feelings under wraps. He felt like he was unraveling.

You soaked everything in like a submerged sponge. You felt as though Wooyoung had some type of crush on you over the years but you grew denial. As handsome as Wooyoung was there was no way that he would like you. You were decent compared to him.

An unknown force got the better of you, pushing you closer to Wooyoung until your lips met his. Wooyoung stiffened for a second before relaxing his body and moving his plush lips against yours, coating them with the love he retained toward you like a salve.

You two separated after a while, taking in deep breaths. You two gazed into each other's eyes the moment you opened them, taking in each other in a new light.

“Be mine, please, Treasure,” Wooyoung said, a strong plea in his hushed tone.

You smiled at the nickname, peering deep into his eyes, knowing good and darn well that no one could ever make you safe from mere eye contact like this man standing before you. You knew your answer before you even conveyed it.

“Give me time and I will.”

Jongho

“Are you sure I can’t break his legs off like an apple?”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance toward the repetitive question. But, despite the fact, you had a little smile on your face. “No, JongJong. You cannot break his legs off like an apple.”

Jongho huffed. “But why not?” he whined.

You fought back a laugh at his childish action. “Because then you would go to jail for assault and I don’t want that. Who would comfort me and remind me of my worth when you’re away?” You said the question quietly, blushing against your will.

Upon your inquiry, Jongho also blushed. He tore his eyes away from your lowered face and looked elsewhere, clearing his throat. He didn’t want to have an awkward ambiance between you two so he decided to speak. “Well, I guess that is a pretty good reason not to risk being locked up. But I’m not happy about letting that kid walk around unbruised.”

“Well, I guess you’ll have to deal with it then, huh?” You looked up at your best friend then; your glassy eyes sucker punched Jongho right in his heart.

Jongho licked his lips slowly, carefully contemplating on his next move. You watched him innocently, your mind forcefully made blank for your heart’s sake. You solely wanted to focus on this moment and this moment in life only.

Jongho reached his arm out slowly, hesitating briefly, before laying his hand on the top of your head and then sliding it down, stroking your hair. His actions were comforting to a tenfold. You smiled at the boy, grateful to have him by your side.

“You know I love you, right? More than anything in the world?” he asked, softly. Then he thought for a second before adding quickly, “Well, along with my family, of course.”

You chuckled, looking down momentarily before reconnecting your eyes with his. “Yes, I know.” Your voice was just as soft.

Jongho ran his tongue over his lips a couple of times, almost provoking you to ask him if he needed some chapstick. But, you knew he was only doing that because he was nervous. What you didn’t know was the cause of his nervousness.

He quickly flickered his eyes between your lips and your eyes before seeming to finally decide what he was gonna do. Thus, he leaned in close, causing your breaths to become quite shallow. Your chest felt constricted. The hairs on the back of your neck stood straight up. 

For a moment, Jongho stayed there, his lips barely brushing against yours. It was as if he was inhaling your scent, grasping your existence. Finally, he decided to do something better, by kissing your forehead instead. Your breathing stuttered slightly, causing Jongho to smirk. Your reaction gave him hope.

He leaned back, carefully analyzing your face. You provided him nothing as you kept your expression serene.

Moments ticked on like that as you two remained staring at each other. But it was unnerving as you two seemed to be gaining new perspectives of each other. It was a perspective that revolved around an uncharted territory that neither of you could predict the outcomes for entering it.

You finally woke your voice up and spoke. “Why...why did you kiss my forehead?”

Jongho took a deep breath before speaking. “Well, firstly, I don’t think a kiss on the lips would be appropriate due to the state that you’re in right now. And then, secondly, is because I still wanted to express the amount of love I have for your cute self. Also to promise you that I will forever care for you like the precious human being that you are.” He smiled shyly then after conveying such strong words.

You inhaled deeply, your eyes watering quicker than soil that’s been rained on. Jongho, concerned that he might have done something wrong, cupped your face gently as he looked deep in your eyes. 

“Crap! I’m sorry, y/n.” He threw back his head and groaned loudly. “The last thing I wanted to do was give you more feelings to deal with. Now, look at you. Jeez! What a great friend I am-”

You cut him off, sealing his words off with your lips pressed against his. Jongho yelped out of surprise but instantly melted into you. He let out a sigh as you two’s lips moved together like calm waves of an ocean, fully indulged in the beautiful sensation of your lips on his. No amount of dreams could compare to the real thing. 

Eventually, you two separated, your eyes gleaming with adoration and child-like hope for the next step in you two’s lives. Together.

No further words were said as you two embraced each other, content like no other.

A/N: Yay! I’m finally done with this! 🎉🎉 I would have been done with this one sooner but, for some strange reason, I couldn’t complete it on my phone and had to wait to get on my computer. Thanks Tumblr for making my life difficult for NO REASON! Anyway, at the end of the day, I am done and I am hopeful that you enjoyed it my dear 💓

[graphx]

I STARTED THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH SO HERES ANOTHER SPIRAL

kinda sad that until the more final chapters during isabella's redemption is the only time that the kids address missing their mom (fullscoreshenanigans and officersnicker has a wonderful post about an AU expanding on that here go check it out! )

And im sad that the kids calling gilda mom was mostly played for laughs

but on the more angsty route i wanna discuss what their parallels could be (even though it is touched on a little in emma and isabella's dynamic)

(not relevant at all but ray and gilda are the furthest from her and my symbolism brain went brrrrrrrrrrrrr)

I heard on a youtube video essay somewhere (will link if/when I find it) that one of the many themes of the promised neverland is how it subverts femininity.

The only option for girls to survive in this world is by being a mother and having a child (a horrible stereotype that I have sadly seen people have irl) but Emma is tomboyish, still a girl and a great main protagonist regardless of if she is feminine or not. And Emma is the perfect person to say SCREW THAT! it's really impactful that she represents change and goes against that system/stereotype (although there are multiple things you can say that Emma and everyone else subverted by breaking the system this is the aspect i'm focusing on)

It shows there are several different ways to be useful and important to others (how don and gilda constantly support and protect the others in ways that are different from emma and ray but still essential!!!)

still I think that all of the characters(I'm focusing on isabella and gilda here tho) would have varying reactions to being parents in the human world since they haven't had many positive experiences with adults or childhood in general

it's possible gilda would like being motherly to her siblings (nothing wrong with that) but I really wish we would see how Isabella's parenting affected her specifically and how she associates her own actions as the "mom friend" in a negative light because her own expereince with her mother in the end was negative

(shameless self insert to my fic that will explore this when I get the next chapter up :D)

I'm planning on both of them having a conversation on how Isabella thinks it's okay to lie to the children and it's okay to make choices for them when it's for their own good

Gilda is presented as bossy to the other kids, but I'd also like to show that she is different from isabella in the way that she lets them make their own choices and tells them the truth even if it's hard to hear (this could also tie into the theme of letting others help you and not taking it all on yourself which is very consistent throughout the story especially with the side characters supporting the main trio)

I want Ray and Gilda to eventually have a heart to heart in realizing that what their mom did to them was wrong even if in some aspects she was a kind person, but there is more to both of them than how she affected them. It would be so cool to see how they connect over that!

They are more than how much she hurt them.

(definitely took inspiration from this poll by fullscoreshenanigans to expand on gilda and ray's relationship btw)

personal context/rant(trigger warning homophobia?):

i have a very skewed perception of femininity due to growing up in an environment that usually had negative(homophobic) and very strict(often punished in some way if I didn't agree with the religious) rules on what people can and can't do if they are a girl(was pushed to present/act in a feminine way so I'm not extremely fond of it personally but I agree with women presenting whatever way they want regardless of if it's "stereotypical" to some people. Theres nothing wrong with presenting girly it's just not for me personally and I'm grateful for tomboy characters) if I'm messing something up/saying something offensive please correct me I'm open to constructive criticism

what character in the promised neverland was characterized as motherly and kind but strict with a bun?

I would pay so much money for their parallels to be adressed