#i'm supposed to be coming up w questions for this reading and so far like my biggest personal question is about tone.

[wellnoe]

reading a book that is very interesting in its quantitative analysis but is so weird in its tone!! the place the author chooses to insert emotionality is bizarre and his treatment of mortality of the be all end all of suffering is equally so.

[brucewaynehater101]

I come again w/ another Tim Drake au!!

So there's this fanfic "If We Could Only Utter the Words Left Unsaid" by TaintedCure on AO3

And now I wanna share an idea

TW for suicide because of Timothy + death-fueled-time-travel

Basically, whenever somebody kills Tim, they go back in time, and there's no limit to how many times he can die. they go back far enough to prevent his death or not do an attempt on his life

He dies during Titans Tower? Back in time you go Jason!

Cut his line and he broke his neck and died? Damian is now back in time!

Some goon cracked his skull too well? Say hello to the past bucko!

Hell, even accidental murders still register so if you were to accidentally push him off too high a ledge you're getting the Time Travel Treatment

Hey maybe Tim still is aware of his time travel powers, but only when it comes to natural causes (like hypothermia) or suicides, so as a result he thinks he knows it all when he in fact doesn't

So yeah, unless somebody spills, Tim is clueless to the whole truth of his powers

I imagine only old age would do him in at this rate

It'd be like real interesting to see all the POVs, especially if they think they know all the loops

Like there's Tim who's regularly exploited his powers to get perfect results but is trying to convince himself he isn't being too frivolous with his life since he's saving lives or making them better

Then there's the people who did him in and may or may not even be aware that the time travel they experiences was because they killed the Third Robin or got him killed

Then there's the people who've done him in maybe one, twice or multiple times and have clocked into the fact that murdering Tim is an exercise in futility

TW: suicide (powers revolving traveling time by dying), violence/abuse (skip the angst if you don't want the second one), and death.

Now, this is a very interesting concept, and I'm probably gonna get lost in the setup for a bit.

The way that Tim's powers work would have to be defined really well. How far back can he go? In the fic you mentioned, he has a save point, basically. He can die an infinite amount of times, but he'll only return to his save point unless he reaches past the OG time he died. He can play around as much as he wants between the savepoint and his death, but a new savepoint gets set up after he passes his OG death time. It also indicated a decrease in time he went back (or his savepoint was established) so that he'll eventually die for good if he kept using his powers. That solves a lot of continuity issues.

However, the setup for Tim's powers could be like SSS-Class Suicide Hunter. For those who aren't familiar, the MC revives 24 hours in the past. He ends up killing himself thousands of times to end up at least a decade in the past. It's been a while since I've read it, but that's the basics of it.

If we're working off of those rules, anyone who kills Tim is only working with 24 hours in the past. You can add more or less time to fit your AU better.

I have some questions about the setup. You mentioned that the person who kills Tim would get sent back without his knowledge. Therefore, in Tim's mind, has he never been murdered? Or, is it a two for one ride into the past? Does the villain get sent back into the past, but Tim doesn't know the past has been changed? Or does Tim get sent back as well, but he doesn't know the villain is also sent back?

Imma get into the angst in a bit if Tim doesn't get sent back into the past when he gets murdered.

However, the issue with this is fucking with the timestream. If a goon kills Tim, ends up 24 hours in the past, and past Tim kills himself within those 24 hours, what the hell is the timeline? Does the goon still get sent back in time? Does Tim get sent back, and then, when the goon is supposed to, his consciousness gets sent back during that time? Does Tim killing himself wipe out the goon being able to travel back in time?

Continously, I assume if villains found out about the power, they would gun for Red Robin with prejudice because they know they'll get a cheat that way. They get a ticket to the past if they kill the bird. They get a redo.

Alright. Angst time!

~~

Bruce is the first one to find out about Tim's power. He's training with Tim when, as per usual, he takes it a bit too far. The man has a habit of not pulling his punches in a fucked up version of trying to push Tim away from being Robin. This time, when he punches Tim, the kid doesn't get up. It's a wonder he didn't hear the awful crack or notice Tim's neck wasn't quite right. Only not recieving an answer after berating Tim about not getting up causes Bruce to pause. He doesn't hear breathing.

Oh gods. He doesn't hear breathing. Is Tim dead? Did he kill Tim? Did he break his nec-

Bruce snaps to attention mid lecture to Robin. They are both in the cave (not on the training mats not on the mats not on the mats), and it seems the exact same as it was yesterday when he was yelling at Tim about proper batarang maintenance.

Tim, ever the observant Robin, leans forward as if to ask if Batman was okay. Bruce flinches back.

Tim's eyes widen in shock as he takes a step back. In the year or so he's worked with Bruce, he's never gotten that response to initating touch. Tim's eyes flicker down to his hand in recrimination and puzzlement.

Bruce takes a shaky breath in before dismissing Tim for the night. The child is hesitant to flee but follows the request.

Bruce doesn't know what happened and he's not sure he wants to find out.

This cues Bruce being kinder to Tim and less harsh. The detective figures out that Tim has a time traveling power upon death, but it appears as if Tim isn't aware of it (he doesn't know that Tim constantly kills himself for better results in field). Tim never finds out that Bruce's change in behavior to him was born of guilt. He never learns that his dad killed him.

~~

Next angst!

Two concepts with Jason.

One, Jason creates a fucked up timeloop with Titan's Tower where he kills Tim over and over again in fucked up ways until he satiates his desire for bloodlust. If Tim is still aware of the Tower incident, that's because Jason wanted him to be. Whether Jason becomes guilty about this timeloop he created or not could also be explored. There is a fic out there kind of similar to this concept (timeloop Titan's Tower, not the added element of Tim's powers).

Two, Bruce does end up killing Jason in the showdown with the Joker. He batarang slices Jason's neck, the building blows up, and Jason never emerges. There's a few ways to add on top of this angst. If Titan's Tower happened before this (and Tim was left beaten), that means Tim chose to kill himself to save Jason. Jason will never know. That, or Titan's Tower happens afterwards and Jason tortures Tim not knowing the teen saved him from a second death at the hands of his father (ironically Tim also doesn't know that he's been killed by Bruce).

~~

Last Angst!

Damian finds out about Tim's power and abuses it constantly. He's a kid that was raised to be an assassin and found someone he can kill that also gives him the benefit of getting away with anything. As long as the kill goes through, he's golden.

Eventually, Damian starts to slow down on this. He doesn't really want to see Drake choking on blood again.

He one day finds that he hasn't tried to kill Drake in months and he doesn't really want to try to.

Then he finds that list.

Then he cuts Drake's line.

Then he has to relive those 24 hours again knowing he killed someone he was starting to trust.

Bonus angst if Tim finds out, jokingly asks his family members how many times they have killed them, and finds out Dick is the only one who hasn't (Tim killed himself after the 16th birthday incident and he somewhat blames Alfred for that, though he'll never tell him).

[kaeyachi]

So...I finished the Arlecchino story quest...

Spoilers below!

TW: Mentions of Suicide, Child Experimentation, Child Abuse, and Murder/Death

This is, by far, the best story quest I have ever done!

First of all, CHILDE?! CHILDE ESCAPING HIS PERSONAL AMBULANCE TO SNEZHNAYA JUST TO COME BACK TO FONTAINE TO ASK SKIRK A QUESTION? Bro is so funny, please-

please save him.

Wait, actually, yeah please do save him. Pulcinella and Pantalone are both plotting in the background, and they got Childe involved...

I also loved the children! Look at how terrifying they are! They're my absolute faves!!

Lyney cementing the reason as to why Arlecchino chose him as the next King is wonderful to see as well. For some time, I thought Freminet and Lynette had a shot, even with reading their lore. What I have failed to realize is that Lyney really is the inspiration for all of the people in the House of the Hearth. His frustrated and disappointed spiel about Freminet not trusting him with Clervie struck me to the heart. This is an older brother at work here people!

Also if I had a nickel every time a cryo younger brother hid a dangerous secret from his pyro older brother which got them into an argument once the truth came out, I'd have 2 nickels ✌️ (somehow gave me war flashbacks to a scene that doesn't even exist lmao)

LYNETTE IS THE FUNNIEST SIBLING BTW. SHE'S MY QUEEN FOR THIS.

Clervie! Our dearest! I'm not fully sure what part in her design did it, but she barely looks like an NPC somehow. Like, yes, this is still an NPC base model, but... is it perhaps the hair? And the extra lashes??

Also, her calling Arlecchino "Perrie" made me sob. I wasn't ready to hear nicknames!!

The mention of Snezhnayan auroras also made me sob again as well. You know what? This entire thing made me sob.

Clervie's dread and horror at the thought of her own mother, her unrelenting spirit that kept her going in her fight for her fellow peers freedom despite the abuse that she will receive, and her unfulfilled dreams repeatedly being mentioned throughout this quest was heartbreaking.

I do have to say- the animations they released for Arlecchino helped a lot with the emotions we are supposed to feel for this quest. Not only was that good Advertising and promotion for the Arlecchino banner, it also set up the plot that would have not been well presented ingame had they chose to do that instead.

Crucabena and Clervie part of this quest were not the only ones mentioned in this quest, but also that damn dude that she killed with her heels! I personally like the way they released all those animations because the quest feels more emotional and alive now, and we could follow with the story better than before (and it effectively increased the hype)

Speaking of more alive, the facial expressions have definitely improved! This quest had them utilizing various expressions well, specifically for the playable characters, so, again, this really helped with the feel of the quest.

Additionally, adding a picture to scenes also set the tone really well. It's not that pictures have never been included in quests before, but the way these were framed(?) made it look way better than the ones before.

By the way...is it just me? Or did Paimon's voice somewhat mellow out for this quest? I had recently played some other story and world quests, and Paimon's EN voice is admittedly high-pitched and painful to hear in those, but for this quest, it's as if her voice was toned down (like Mondstadt Paimon, but with current Paimon energy). I'm hoping this was them taking the criticism from past and adjusting their instructions to Paimon's VA accordingly, because I loved Paimon's voice in this quest (that or I'm delulu)

Quick lore tidbits before I go back to gushing about this quest:

1. Arlecchino confirmed not from Fontaine (like I legit thought she may be Khaenri'ahn due to the blood moon thing she has going for her, but it's nice to confirm her non-Fontainian status)

2. Crucabena was the one who had a deal with Dottore on sending members of the HotH to him for experimentation. Anyone who was physically impaired or left alive after a duel to death are automatically sent to him. Clervie has described this as a fate worse than death... Peruere rejected Dottore's partnership offer once she became the next knave. Also, Crucabena used Clervie as an "example" for those who wish to escape, meaning Clervie received the most abuse (which apparently worsened as the years went by). Clervie lost hope sometime along the way and was basically suicidal as well by the time she and Arlecchino had their duel... Her mindset by that time is that the only hope for freedom to her is death. The popular theory of Clervie letting Arlecchino kill her is proven in a horrifying way with this discovery... (yes, she wanted Arlecchino to be the king, but at the same time, she took this situation as a chance to hit 2 birds with 1 stone)

3. Project Stuzha is apparently something highly dangerous, and Pulcinella and Pantalone are trying to get Childe and Arlecchino involved (Childe was told to aide the project by Pulcinella, while Arlecchino says she doesnt want the HotH to be involved in it)

4. Here is me reannouncing that I am in fact taking the L on the Freminet and Crucabena situation. Basically, the timeline is that at age 16, Clervie dies, and we are left with a 1 year time period for a 6 year old Freminet to enter under Crucabena (I'm guessing this is either a retcon or a means to hide the Arlecchino plot by not having them directly say mother in Freminet's character story 4). After that said 1 year, Peruere kills Crucabena and has spent several months in Snezhnaya before reviving the House of the Hearth and adopting Lyney and Lynette (perhaps the children of Crucabena's HotH simply stuck together during that time)

Basically, yes, Arlecchino is in her mid-20s. Not my personal cup of tea, but hey, genshin ages are confusing most days (Ayato is older than her, and Ayaka may actually be older than her as well... ugh I need a moment please... I MAY BE THE SAME AGE AS HER. NO-)

5. Freminet used to also call Lyney "brother". What changed that, I'm not sure (and if I had a nickel...), but the thought of baby Freminet following around big bro Lyney and big sis Lynette makes my heart melt. Freminet actually cried after Lyney basically told him how important Fremi is to him, so whoever made Freminet think otherwise... 😡 they better square up because we ride at dawn

ok back to me gushing

THE BOSS FIGHT? IT WAS SO COOL! It was beautifully animated, and the fact that they added this at the end?

The fear on the traveler's eyes upon realization of what true power Arlecchino held was amazing imo. We canonically cannot defeat Arlecchino in her boss fight! She will be a weekly boss that we can defeat, but in actuality, we really cannot beat the number 4 of the Fatui Harbringers.

We now have actual proof that harbringers 1-4 are not within our capabilities to challenge, and to add to that horror, this is us fighting Arlecchino with Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet. This is also actual proof that we, the traveler, cannot defeat a ton of other characters as well! (were cooked if we never get a power boost and plot armor✌️)

Also let me sneak in this picture:

Cunty as fck. Powerpuff girls energy. They're the Heathers, and we, the traveler, are Veronica.

And finally, the last part of my commentary that cemented this quest as my top 1:

Everything Arlecchino has done for the House of the Hearth, it was all thanks to Clervie and her dreams.

Arlecchino has shaped the HotH into a more honest relationship between her as the father and them as her children. Everything Clervie hated about the old HotH is now nonexistent in this version.

The children could be set free.

Duels are not to death.

They will not be sent to their doom if they lose.

This is everything that Clervie dreamed of, and this is everything Clervie tragically never got to see and experience because she lost all hope.

Clervie's story ended in tragedy, but Peruere lived and breathed Clervie's dreams for her anyway. Seeing the aurora was the start of Peruere finding the goal of living Clervie's dream, and now, Arlecchino strives to do her best to see those dreams come to fruition.

And the qualities that Peruere admired in Clervie are the same qualities that made her want Lyney to become the next king. Hopeful, caring, protective, passionate, and full of conviction. Lyney will take the mantle and live and breathe for Clervie's and Peruere's dreams someday.

Honestly, I have more to say, but I think this is a good place to stop for now. The dynamics of all these characters have made this experience worthwhile, and I hope that genshin continues with this sort of style in the future. Here's to more amazing stories from genshin!

Bonus screenshot while we are still here:

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I woke up on the weird side of the bed today so, yeah. I don't usually write like this. But change is the spice of life, right? I read this as many times as I could to make sure I got everything. If I missed anything that should say "he", "him" or "Mikey", please let me know! I initially didn't know who I was going to make this about and I may not have caught all of those things. Thanks!!

C/W ::: Mikey (Tok_Rev) x F.reader/roommate, language, pillow licking & sniffing, dirty day-old boxer fucking, masturbation, lip biting (vvv brief mention of blood), oral F->M & M->F, quick deepthroating, anal, fingers->ass, names: slut, whore, little fuck, pet names: good girl, F->begging, "gonna punish you again if you ...", overuse of italics

WC ::: 2,100 (ish)

You walk out of your room, sleep still heavy in your eyes. Mikey is in the kitchen, pouring himself a 2nd cup of coffee. "Hey," you say releasing a big yawn, "pour me one? Please?"

He looks up and smiles at you, taking in your cute, soft body stretching the material of your worn old band shirt. The writing on the front is so illegible that you can't even see who the hell the band was to begin with. It hugs you perfectly, they think.

"Sure." He reaches out to the shelf in front of him and pulls down a cup to fill for you. You're already pulling the creamer from the fridge, probably giving them a fair view of your ass in your cute little panties. If they were looking, that is.

But there's no shame between roommates, no. You're both mature adults who can maintain a platonic relationship with one another.

"Thanks," is all you say as you stir the milky white flavoring into the dark liquid. You take a sip and wince at how hot it is against your tongue. "Fuck, is that a new coffee maker? It's hot as shit. Could have warned me, man."

You start heading back to your room, but then stop. "What uh, what time will you be home today?" It's a seemingly innocuous question. Though it strikes Mikey as odd. You never really ask when he'll be home.

"Why? You gonna have a big party while I'm out?" He jokes.

Blinking at them with a blank stare you fake a laugh. "Ha, yeah. You know me. I'm a party animal. Anyway, when?"

Mikey narrows his eyes, "I dunno. Around 5? Same as always. I gotta run. I'll see you." Hes pick up his backpack and coffee and heads out the door. You hear his bike start and pull out onto the street until it gets so quiet you can no longer could make out its rumble.

Glancing at the clock on the wall above the kitchen table, it's 7:40 AM. You have all day before he comes home. Finishing your coffee, you walk down the hallway and stand in front of his door.

There is a voice screaming in your head about how you need to stop doing this. How it's a complete violation of Mikey's privacy - and not to mention, just pretty fucking disgusting. But you can't.

You can't stop climbing into his bed after he leaves for the day. You can't stop burying your face in his pillow while you rub yourself on his most recently worn pair of boxers. Mikey's scent has far exceeded intoxicating to you by this point. And though you can't even remember how long you've been doing this, you do know that it's been happening for too fucking long.

Lately, you've even caught yourself slipping up. Talking about something you saw in his room that you don't think you were even supposed to be aware of.

There's not a doubt in your mind, you need to stop. But first, you need to be more careful.

However, today is not that day. You turn the knob on his door and help yourself to the bed as if it were your very own. His room still smells of that heavy sleep smell. Morning breath and man sweat and BO. And it doesn't turn you off like it probably should. Nah, it turns you on in the sickest way.

You pull the blanket back and see the outline of his body imprinted on the sheets. It's still warm from when he was there not so long ago. You take your clothes off and lay there, imagining him. Imagining that he is still here, in bed with you. That he is holding you and that he wants to fuck you just as badly as you want to fuck him and not his stuff.

You grab his pillow and shove your nose into it, taking in his scent as close to the source as you could get without swallowing him whole. There's a little splop of drool on his dark gray pillowcase and you lick at it. Anything at this point to have a piece of him inside of you.

You begin to rub your clit. It's already wet and thrumming at the thought of him. Of his smell in your nose, his spit on your tongue. You keen as you get yourself closer and closer to cumming. You can feel it building in your belly, you're getting so close.

Your breaths are coming quicker, your tits are jiggling as you bounce yourself around on your fingers - that will never measure up to what his cock would feel like being fucked into your cunt. You bite your lip and you taste blood, but you don't care.

You cum hard, harder than you have in months. You're moaning his name over and over and over, wishing he was here to fuck you like you want him to. Like you NEED him to.

And you hear the front door as it opens. You hear Mikey's voice call out to you and it all comes crashing down.

"Hey, I forgot something, just ran back to gr-" he says, until he walks into his bedroom. "Y/n, what ... the ... fuck ... are you ... doing?"

You scramble to cover yourself as you try to make up some excuse for why you were in here. But it's too late. You know it is.

"You sick, sick, little fuck."

"I - I - I - I ..." you stutter out, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"The actual fuck do you think you're doing in here? In my bed." Mikey looks at what's between your legs, "and my boxers?"

You get up, pulling on your clothes as quickly as you can. Your hands are shaking and your heart is racing. You don't know what to say or do, so you just leave.

You walk passed him, to go, you feel a hand come down on your ass. "You fucked up, big time. And now? You're gonna fuckin' fix it." He gestures for you to go back to their bed. "Go on. Slut."

You do as you're told, hoping he won't kill you after what you'd just been caught doing. And as you watch Mikey take his clothes off, you realize that this might not be going the way you expected it to. But it might be easier if he did just kill you.

"Knees." He orders.

"What?"

He raises an eyebrow at you, "Fucking. Knees."

You obey and drop to your knees, your face level with his dick. "Suck."

Without saying a word, he opens your mouth and shoves himself in. Mikey grabs the back of your head and pulls you forward, making you gag. And he doesn't care. You deserve it for being such a little slut.

He fucks your mouth, thrusting his hips into your face, slapping his balls against your chin, until he pushes you off. "Up."

You do as you're told. "Face the bed. Bend over."

Again, you do as you're told. You feel him spread your ass and rub his cock against you. You can feel it pulsing between your cheeks. "Please. Please ..." You say softly.

"You don't deserve mercy, you little whore. Unless you're begging for something else? What'd you have in mind, hm? You gonna make this up to me? You fucking pervert."

You can't see it, but Mikey is smiling at your exposed cunt. It's dripping wet and begging to be filled. He spit on his hand and rubbed it on his dick before spitting on his fingers and rubbing it around your asshole.

He pushes two fingers into you, slowly, while rubbing your clit with his other hand. Mikey pumps his fingers in and out of you, stretching you open. You moan and whimper at the feeling of fingers inside of you, at the sensation of being touched like this.

"Fuck me, please. Fuck me. I want to feel you inside of me. I've wanted it for so long." You whimper. You sound so pitiful but can't help yourself.

Mikey laughs at how pathetic you sound. He pulls his fingers out and spreads your ass again. "Beg for it. Beg ... for my cock, slut."

You feel him press the head of his dick against your hole. It's throbbing and you're about ready to explode. "Please! Please fuck me!"

Mikey eases his cock into you slowly. You gasp at the feeling of it stretching you open. It hurts ... but it's so fucking good. He thrusts into you hard and fast, filling you up and fucking you like the little whore you both know you are.

Mikey grunts and moans as he pounds your ass. You can feel him getting close as he pulls out of you and cums all over your back. It drips down between your cheeks and onto the floor. "If you were a good girl, I'd have cum inside of you. But here we are," he whispered against your skin.

He smacks your ass and you feel his hands gripping your hips tightly. "Turn around. Lay down."

You do as you're told and lay down on your back. He climbs on top of you and straddles your hips. "Open." Mikey says, grabbing your jaw.

He spits on your tongue, "Swallow."

You swallow his spit. "Good girl. Now, let's see, ultimately, just how good you can be."

He grabs your tits and squeezes them, pinching your nipples and pulling on them, assaulting your chest, leaving marks and bruises. You moan and arch your back, loving the feeling of his weight on you. The attention he's finally giving you.

Mikey kisses and licks and bites his way down to your pussy and buries his face between your legs. His tongue wandered around on your clit and he put a finger in your pussy, making you squirm.

He pulled back and smiled, "You like that? Don't you, you little slut?"

You nod your head and whimper, "Yes."

Chuckling, he spits on your clit and rubs it with the pad of his thumb. He starts lapping at your cunt so feverishly that it sounds like a dog drinking water from a bowl. Licking and sucking and biting at your clit so dedicatedly that you feel yourself getting closer to another orgasm.

"Please, please, please let me cum. Let me cum," you beg him.

Mikey looks up at you, his face soaked from your juices, "You want to cum? You want me ... to make you cum?"

You nod your head furiously, "Yes, yes, yes."

"Did you not? Earlier, I mean. Because your pussy was pretty fucking wet when I walked in."

You whimper and shake your head, "No, not like this. Not with you."

He smiles, "You're such a little fuck, you know that?"

You furrow your brow as he starts to rub your clit again. He sucks on your tits, making you writhe beneath him. He's biting and nipping at your sensitive skin. It's the most exquisite pain you've ever felt.

"Do you want to cum now, baby girl?" He asks, as he rubs your clit, harder and faster. Faster and harder.

You moan and nod your head, "Y-yeh-hess, please! Please, please."

He smirks at you and stops touching you all at once. "You gonna stop breakin' into my room and fuckin' my dirty clothes?"

The question caught you off guard. Fucking his day-old boxers was the furthest thing from your mind right now. "Wh-wha -"

He starts in rubbing your clit again, even faster and harder than before, "I asked you a fucking question."

"Yes! Yes, I'll stop! I'll ... I promise to stop, Mikey."

He smiles at you and keeps rubbing your clit until you feel that warm, bubbling feeling in your stomach again. "Cum for me, baby girl."

You twist and turn beneath him as you cum. Your pussy clenches around nothing as he keeps rubbing you until you feel like you can't take it anymore.

As you come down, he looks at you and gives you a sly smile. "Good. You wanna be a good girl for me, huh?"

You nod your head. "Yes. Yes. Yes ... I'll be so good for you."

Mikey chuckles, "You better be. Or else."

He gives you a long kiss on the forehead and stands up. "I'm going back to work. Don't do anything stupid. I'll be home in a few hours."

You lay there, naked and spent, unable to even think about doing anything but sleep. "Yes, sir." You say softly.

Mikey walks out of his room and goes back to work, leaving you in a state of blissful exhaustion.

"Wait," you call out, "what if I can't be good for you? What if I just ... can't stop?"

He turns and looks at you, a calm look on his sweet face. "Well, I guess you'll just have to learn your lesson all over again, won't you?"

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @viburnt

[elleloquently]

hi lovely <3 could i request protective!ellie and reader (relationship) in a patrol but things go south and she almost gets bit by an infected and ellie is just "i can't believe i almost lost you" and literally never gets reader out of her sight after that. thank u so much! :D

a/n : i literally love this sm thank you for requesting bc after reading this prompt i could not get it out of my head!! that being said though i'm sorry this took a bit ): the format for this is kinda weird i think maybe idk yeesh but i had too many ideas so anyway yes so cute love her c/w : weapons (guns mentioned,) violence against infected, protective!ellie my beloved (not quite edited </3)

fears all the way down - ellie williams

spring hesitated to make its welcome, the morning rays shyly peeking out from behind gray skies and dark clouds. every morning upon waking you would yearn for a sunny day, and finally the sun decided to grace the sky. it was the kind of brightness that would cause you to squint upon stepping outside, desperate to shed a few layers despite the air still being chilled, anything to feel the sun on your skin.

morning frost turned to morning dew, the slight crunch of a boot or a hoof that once crushed the delicate crystals into the grass was replaced with a slippery wetness and mud, new prints left to track.

you relished in it now, closing your eyes only briefly to imagine a world without infected, free to walk or ride without pausing at any given sound or movement. your horse followed faithfully behind shimmer, ellie's horse, as she led the way. she was always like this, leading and guiding and taking charge. it was infuriating and endearing, you would roll your eyes but only if your lips wore a smile as well.

you didn't patrol often, but when you did, ellie always found herself as your partner. incessant and persistent, you weren't aware of just how much trouble she had caused behind the scenes. rearranging shifts and lecturing just about anyone who would listen to her thinly veiled threats, the patrolmen of Jackson would rather give in with a sigh than have ellie williams worked into a fuss over who was partnered with her girlfriend.

even jesse, a dear friend to you both, knew exactly who was knocking at his door even before the sun came up on a day where you were supposed to ride out on patrol together.

it wasn't that ellie didn't trust them, or have good faith in them, because she did. and it wasn't that she didn't trust you, or think you to be capable, because she did. nevertheless, ellie displays her affections by protecting the ones she loves. you happened to be a lucky one, much to your frustration and adoration. you relished in her care but you also worried about her well-being, an endless cycle of stubborn lovers where you both seemed to keep simultaneously winning and losing.

"all good back there?" ellie noticed your silence, glancing over her shoulder with a curious smile.

you hummed in response, nodding to affirm your answer to her question. it had been a quiet patrol so far, but neither yourself nor ellie were one to let your guard down.

continuing down a well-worn path, you had spotted something in the distance that was once a house, part of it nearly collapsing within itself. it grabbed your attention anyway so you tugged on the reigns, signaling for ellie who seemed to have spotted it as well.

"think it's worth a try?" you posed, and ellie mentally debated your question.

"i think it's been a bit since anyone's gone down there..." ellie eyed the path, coming to a decision with a sigh. "might as well," she shrugged, directing shimmer towards the house.

your horses fell in step with one another as you approached your destination, weary of the trees that nearly covered the house. shimmer stopped first and ellie quickly jumped down from her faithful companion, coming to your side.

ellie shielded her eyes from the sun, offering up her free hand. you took it, gratefully, and landed feet on the ground next to her. you took a quick inventory as ellie pulled out a gun, cautiously scanning the surrounding area.

"be right back, tulip," you murmured to your horse, armed with your own weapon as you carefully approached the house.

less snow made it easier for delicate footsteps, but any infected were sure to be better blended with the greenery that were soon to be blooming again. no matter how often you were outside, or dealt with infected, you couldn't stop your heart from pounding with the threat of danger looming over your head at any given moment.

the door to the house was ajar, raising your own levels of suspicion. you glanced at ellie, who's eyebrows were drawn to a crease. you were practically holding your breath upon entering, only to let out a breath of relieve when yourself and ellie came to the conclusion that it was clear.

"i'll watch the front, do you wanna check the back?" you offered to ellie, relaxing your grip on your weapon.

"be careful," ellie responded with a nod, giving you a quick, cautious smile.

you glanced around the room, trying to see if anything was worth picking over when ellie's voice broke the brief silence.

"i mean it!" she called pressingly, though the desperation in her voice was just enough to make you laugh.

a quick glance out of the window at shimmer and tulip left you satisfied, so you pulled your attention to the wreckage that covered the room's floor. there wasn't much, not really, but some of your best finds thus far had been from searching through areas like this one.

you kicked at an old chest with your boot, watching dust particles fill the air. not expecting much, you lift open a fragile compartment and grin at the unexpected sight.

"ellie," you call, using a lighthearted tone so that she doesn't mistake it for trouble.

she appears quickly anyway, amused with the proud look that's painted itself on your face.

"more ammo," you clarify, presenting her with a little box. it wasn't much, but it was certainly more than either of you were expecting, considering the looks of the place.

"that's my girl," laughed ellie, reaching out to bump your arm to which you rolled your eyes affectionately. you could show her a rock and she would probably still respond with, 'nice!'

you poked around in silence for a bit, occasionally hearing drawers opening or a mumbled swear coming from ellie's direction. it was almost nice, and you admired the way that the sunlight was warming you from the windows when a sound broke through the atmosphere.

freezing immediately, you drew your gun and waited. you prayed that you were only paranoid, but the noise sounded again and this time it was closer, there was no mistaking it.

you were lurking near the doorway, close enough to keep a watchful eye on the horses when another croaking sound made your blood run cold. the floorboards underneath your boots creaked with every step so you stayed put, eyes frantically darting around the trees as far as you could see.

gun pointed through the door, you held your breath and waited. anything that knew you were around would be hot on your trail by now, and quickly.

you waited and waited, and all you heard was silence and the occasional snort from a horse. despite the nothingness that greeted you, you felt a growing pit in your stomach and a strong desire to go back to the main pathing where you had been previously riding.

you slowly crept through the doorway, carefully closing it only halfway while you checked everything within your eyesight once more before calling to your girlfriend. you frowned, glancing over tulip. shrugging off your extra jacket, you slung it over her saddle when you suddenly heard a branch snap.

at the sounded tell, it was already too late. a stalker came barreling out from behind a line of trees, hyper focused and thrashing as it hurdled toward you. with no time to think and hardly any time to move, you wielded your gun but the creature was faster than you, stronger than you.

your body slammed against the door, knocking it open and you nearly fell backwards which allowed you to slip through the infected's grasp as it thrashed for you. immediately footsteps pounded through the house and gunshots rang in your ears, the stalker lying at your feet.

dazed and trembling as if you were frostbitten, you stared down at the infected unmoving as ellie quickly pulled you into her arms.

"hey, hey," she reassured you, checking over your body quickly just in case for any marks, but you had been saved.

"ellie," your voice wobbled, but you quickly blinked back any tears. you wanted to just dust yourself off and move on, strong and brave like you always promised ellie you would be. she worried so much, and you didn't want to actually give her a reason to worry but despite your efforts, you found yourself falling apart in her arms.

ellie held onto you, tightening her grip with every shaky breath that escaped your mouth. "it's alright, i've got you. i've always got you," she mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

you stayed like that only for a moment, too anxious to make another mistake. you quickly gathered your bearings and decided to call it on patrol, ellie gripping your hand as you left the house together. she helped as you hoisted yourself up onto tulip, only letting go of your hand and returning to her own horse when you were firmly grabbing the reins.

ellie was in autopilot, checking in with you and mumbling directions as you rode quickly and carefully to Jackson. the obnoxious sunshine only made your tears look more obvious on your cheeks and you roughly wiped them away with your sleeve, not wanting to appear as pathetic as you felt.

ellie grew increasingly more quiet, only quickly squeezing your hand once you made it back to safety. without a word she moved to stable shimmer, and a horrible feeling washed over you. she was acting as if she were mad, and you couldn't blame her. you remained at tulip's side, stroking your horse as you watched your girlfriend wordlessly move around the stable.

"i'm so sorry," you whispered, and ellie froze once you broke the silence. her back was to you, and you almost expected her to simply ignore you, or to start into a lecture, even though ellie would swear she wasn't always like joel, all you heard were reflections of his words in her careful pleas.

"i don't know what happened, it was so dumb and it happened so fast, ellie, so fast and i had my gun out but-"

ellie slowly turned to face you, and the look of guilt was evidently written all over her face. you abruptly cut yourself off, feeling even more awful than before.

she tried not to often reflect the losses that she had experienced, but even as strong as ellie was, it wasn't something that could be buried. even when the wildflowers start to bloom again and the skies turn blue, the threat of potentially losing someone that you love was hidden in every corner, ready to jump out and completely envelop you at any given moment, any small slip or mistake. it was nearly maddening, not knowing if that could be the last time you ever hear someone's voice. her losses were her failures, and she refused to let you be one of them.

shame and worry took over you, your eyebrows drawing together as ellie stared at you, shaking her head before starting towards you. ellie quickly pulled you into her arms once more, furiously blinking away her own tears. "i can't believe i almost lost you," she whispered into your hair, to which you quickly drew back.

"hey," you started, relieved that she wasn't upset but devastated by her confession. "i'm okay ellie, i'm not going anywhere, i promise," you reassured her.

"i know," ellie pressed. "that will never happen again," she spoke, half telling you and half telling herself. "i promise, nothing will ever happen to you."

you yearned to make ellie the same promise over and over, but you knew it wasn't the time. you allowed her to dote over you for the rest of the evening, her hand never leaving yours, not even while you had dinner. with every quiet check-in of a whispered, "are you okay?" you would nod and squeeze her hand, allowing her to look after you because you knew it was what she needed, to feel competent and to prove to herself that she was capable of protecting the one that she loves.

[yourmidnightlover]

timeless - ch. 2

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

series summary: you, bucky and steve were the best of friends growing up. what happens when you're assigned to be a war nurse for the 107th? what happens when bucky finds himself 70 years later with scattered memories of the girl who brought him so much comfort? will your love for each other remain after all of the pain you've been put through? will your love for each other remain timeless?

chapter summary: this chapter is set during civil war when bucky and steve are reunited.

warnings: classing mcu violence, guns, mention of headshots (of the other supersoldiers from HYDRA), death, HYDRA talk, talk of assassins, please let me know if i've missed anything!

w/c: 2.1k+

a/n: hiii! i've missed writing so so much but i've finally finished the second chapter of this series! i'm so excited for it and already have so much planned. it's loosly accurate, but it definitely goes off course with the actual plot the mcu has. so THIS IS NOT CANON. i am making some of it up, mostly towards the end and bits and pieces about the reader being involved in anything. this chapter ALSO doesn't have reader in it because this part is largely the development of how they realize that reader is still alive... you'll understand once you begin reading. anywho, i hope you lovely people enjoy reading!

<- chapter 1 ~ chapter 3 ->

“which bucky am i talking to?” steve chided bucky as his arm remained in a vice. his voice remind still and steady as if his emotions hadn’t been the victim of intense whiplash from trying to get his old pal back.

“your mom’s name is sarah,” he had what almost seemed like a grin as he continued, “you used to wear newspaper in your shoes.” 

“can’t read that in a museum,” he tilted his head with an almost grimace, recalling the days when he was a few feet shorter and far less invincible. 

“wh-just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?” sam questioned incredulously, reasonably so. sam had no reason to trust bucky. he was never once his best friend. he didn’t know the lengths bucky and steve used to go to to protect one another. 

“what did i do?” bucky could tell by sam’s reaction that yet another bad deed had occurred at his hand, the one that he wasn’t even born with.

“enough.”

“oh god,” bucky sighed as he threw his head back. “i knew this would happen. everything HYDRA put inside me is still there… all he had to do is say the goddamn words,” bucky’s face filled with self-hatred that was all too familiar.

“who was he?” 

steve knew bucky would understand who he was talking about. hell, the man knew his trigger words, bucky wishes he knew who the fuck he was. it pained him that after years of not knowing who he was, being used as a mere object for a terrible agenda, he finally escaped… only to be used once more by a complete stranger.

“i don’t know.”

“people are dead,” steve leveled with bucky as if he wasn’t aware of the magnitude this all has come to. “the bombing, the setup, the doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you. i need you to do better than ‘i don’t know.’”

“he-he wanted to know about siberia, where i was kept,” bucky recalled. “he wanted to know exactly where.”

“why would he need to know that?” 

“because i’m not the only winter soldier.”

“what?” sam was in disbelief, his voice going into a higher pitch than steve had probably eer heard. 

“but, steve,” bucky was confused about what he was even supposed to say, how to say what he needed to. hell, he didn’t even know exactly what he knew. “my memories, they’re coming back all… jumbled. it’s like i remember pieces before the fall and then some when i was under HYDRA’s control and i can’t tell which is which. it’s like they’re getting all confused.”

“buck, what’re you trying to say here?” steve wanted bucky to tell him whatever it was he needed to, they had other pressing matters to get to the bottom of.

“you remember y/n, right?”

“how could i forget?” he smiled fondly. “she-she died, though? back when-”

“that’s what i thought too,” bucky shook his head. “but i keep seeing her in the memories with HYDRA. not from the war, not from brooklyn, it’s distinctly HYDRA, but i don’t know how much of my memories i can trust.”

steve took a step back from bucky, trying to analyze what he was implying. trying to decipher what it meant if HYDRA had taken you for all this time too. that means you must have the serum in your veins as well, but how? 

were you being used like bucky in all of HYDRA’s plans? this was all so confusing to him, bucky too. 

“who’s y/n?” sam asked, his arms thrown up in utter bewilderment. 

“she was our best friend,” steve filled in for bucky after a pause, the man clearly not able to accurately describe what you were to him. “she meant a lot to us, but we thought she died back in the war…”

“so that’s not the case? i’m assuming, based on cyborg here?” sam motioned to bucky, clearly confused as to how many people seem to come back to life or survive far past their expiration date here. 

“do you know if she’s still in siberia?” 

“after a while, the i stopped seeing the people in siberia. but i remember being with her a lot more… i don’t know what she did for HYDRA, but i don’t think she’s there,” bucky couldn’t look at steve as he tried to explain where his best friend was. 

“if she’s not there, then HYDRA surely isn’t doing anything good to her in your absence.”

“that’s what i’m most worried about.”

“those other soldiers… who were they?” steve wondered

“their most elite death squad. more kills than anyone in HYDRA history, and that was before the serum.”

“they all turn out like you?” sam sassed.

“worse.”

“the doctor, could he control them?”

“enough.”

steve shook his head, perplexed as he added, “said he wanted to see an empire fall.”

“with these guys he could do it. they speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. they can take a whole country down in one night and you’d never see them coming.”

“this would’ve been a lot easier a week ago,” sam mentions primarily to steve.

“if we call tony…” 

“no, he won’t believe us,” sam cut steve’s idea short.

“even if he did-”

“who knows if the accords would let him.”

steve sighed, his head low as if he had been defeated, “we’re on our own.”

“maybe not,” sam had a sly smirk on as he finished, “i know a guy.”

-

after meeting with sharon carter, an easy fight with most of the avengers, and hijacking the quinjet, steve and bucky were on their own, hurtling towards siberia and a few of the world’s best unknown assassins.

bucky didn’t understand why he couldn’t pinpoint where he had known you from. all he can tell is that you were practically everywhere. because of that, part of him thinks you might’ve just been a figment of his imagination, creating a sense of comfort from one of the only people he’s ever truly cared about in the midst of his pain and the chaos HYDRA forced him to impose on the innocent. 

but if that were the case, then shouldn’t he recall more of steve as well? 

“what’s gonna happen to your friends?” bucky asked, hoping the people who put their necks on the line for him, for his best friend, would be alright. 

“whatever it is…” steve shook his head with a heavy heart. “i’ll deal with it.”

all bucky could think about was the pain of the last 70 years, but not his own. he was thinking of all the memories he’s had surface already of him harming those who didn’t deserve it, as if anyone deserved for their lives to be taken. 

“i’m don’t know if i’m worth all this, steve,” he shook his head adamantly.

“what you did all those years…” he looked thoughtfully before turning slightly to face bucky. “it wasn’t you. you didn’t have a choice.”

“i know, but i did it.”

-

once they landed atop the mountain, they went to the back to unload a few weapons and headed inside the already open door. 

“he can’t have been here a couple hours.”

“long enough to wake ‘em up,” bucky tilted his head with a grimace, not knowing if he selfishy hoped you were there or hoped you weren’t included in the infamous group of th world’s best assassins.

heading further down the corridor, they come face to face with the one, the only, iron man.

tony heads towards steve and retracts his helmet to greet the men. “you seem a little defensive,” he gestures towards bucky, who’s gun remained aimed at the red-suited man. 

“it’s been a long day,” steve sighed to try and reason with tony, thinking he was here to take him and his fugitive pal in for good.

“at ease, soldier. i’m not currently after you,” tony stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

bucky was still confused, watching the two men interact and trying to figure out his place in their conversation, but opting to simply observe and keep his gun raised in defense.

“then why’re you here,” steve asked the question bucky was also wondering, himself.

“could be your story’s not so crazy… maybe,” tony rolled his eyes as he continued. “ross has no idea i’m here, so i’d like to keep it that way.otherwise, i gotta arrest myself…” he trailed off on that note.

“well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork,” steve finally lowered his shield. “it’s good to see you, tony,” he addressed the man after figuring out it wasn’t ‘iron man’ coming to him. it was only tony.

“you too, cap,” his attention was brought to bucky after noticing his weapon was still ready to fire, pointed right at him. “hey, manchurian candidate, you’re killing me. there’s a truce here,” tony motioned to himself and steve to emphasize his point. “you can lower…” steve signalled for bucky to loer his weapon, so he did. 

the three continued their way into the bunker, trying to be ready for whatever was awaiting them. 

“i got heat signatures,” tony said after scanning the room.

“how many?”

“uh… one,” with that, the three enter the room. 

hazy yellowed lights flickered on as a speaker began to crackle to life. looking around, the soldiers were still secure in their capsules, but the only one they could see clearly had a bullet straight through their head.

“if it’s any comfort, they died in their sleep,” they recognized zemo’s voice over the speaker. bucky looked in the other capsules, ensuring your corpse wasn’t in any of the capsules. “did you really think i wanted more of you?” zemo scoffed.

“what the hell?” bucky was confused at the actions of the man before him. if he didn’t want to control some of the stronged people in the world, what did he want from killing them?

“i’m grateful to them though, they brought you here,” he chuckled slyly as the other men rolled their eyes and huffed at his secrecy. steve had launched his shield at the booth that zemo was in, only for it to come ricocheting back towards him. “please, captain. the soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets.”

“i’m betting i could beat that,” tony piped in, raising his hand, ready to shoot beams through the glass. 

“oh, i’m sure you could, mr. stark, given time,” he nodded in agreement, leaving tony to lower his hand in bewilderment. “but then you’d never know why you came.”

“you killed innocent people in vienna just to bring us here?” 

“i thought about nothing else for over a year. i studied you. i followed you,” he was droning on and on about how dedicated he had been. “but now that you're standing here, i just realized . . . there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes. how nice to find a flaw,” it was mockery for him to stand there as if he had superiority.

“you’re sokovian, is that what this is about?” steve simply wanted answers from the man who was only speaking in puzzles.

“sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. no. i'm here because i made a promise.”

“you lost someone?” steve filled in the blanks that zemo clearly had no intention of confessing.

“i lost everyone,” he made eye contact with bucky before he continued, “and i think you’ll be thrilled to know that you haven’t lost everyone, yet.”

“you know where she is, don’t you?” bucky strode towards the glass that was protecting zemo. “where the hell is she?!” his fist slammed against the glass. 

“now, now,” he rose his hands and gestured for bucky to calm down. “that’s no way to get information out of someone, although, i guess that never was your specialty, was it?” 

“did you do something to her?” his voice was a low growl. “i swear to god if you touched a hair on her head-!” 

“i didn’t do anything to her, yet, mr. barnes,” he continued to patronize the man. 

“buck,” steve placed his hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. “he wants you to react. he wants to upset you. don’t give him what he wants.”

bucky turns to face steve, “if he knows where she is-”

“we’ll find her on our own,” steve nodded, trying to get bucky to remain calm. “we don’t need him to manipulate us to get things figured out.”

“look, icicle,” tony chided in, “i’ll use all of my resources to help find this girl of yours - whoever she is.”

tags:

@cjand10

@coldheartedmar

[captainmera]

Hey, do you have any advice/tips for writing?

I have this Toh fanfic idea that I've been meaning to write for a while... but every time I try to write it, I end up just staring at the screen instead-

Sure bud! I'm by no means an expert! Just an enthusiast who loves storytelling! :) But I'm happy to help any fellow creative with whatever knowledge I can share!

So, from this ask I am gathering that you are feeling overwhelmed by your own story, yeah?

Well... Here's some things I do to get out of feeling overwhelmed and just kinda:

First thing first - there is no such thing as a block. You are just not working in the area of creativity you need right now. Areas can be: Writing, researching, watching an analysis of a story you like, consume a work that is in the same genre you are trying to write (cartoon, movie, book, etc).

But you're asking about writing itself. So here we go:

The show time trick. Get a ritual of some sort. Wear something every time you write, like a hat or a scarf, a bathrobe. OR just get tea/coffee/whatever. This will Pavlov your brain into triggering a OH IT'S TIME TO BE CREATIVE mode! .

Warm up. Write something else. A poem, a prompt (there's a ton on pinterest to pick from). This will get you into the groove of things. Remember that it's not supposed to be serious, it's just something to get you to write. One exercise I know of is called "random stream", which is where you just write down the first word that pops into your head in a non-stop stream. It doesn't even have to be sensible, just words. Like this: I think I know what this cookie monster can and will not do hi mom grandma basketball fishing rodding down a stream dodging every single flying leaf that a tree throws at me oh no a branch aa help here comes the cavalry and the ships are sailing in to the harbour and this is a good day actually. This will help you get your "vocals" and flows going. And if you in the midst of it feel like "oh! wait! :D" and like your writing-muse just woke up, get off the exercise and start working! :) .

Analyse your work. First - read it all aloud to yourself. You will hear where it sounds off. And then, what you need to do to be able to continue, is to fix that bit first. Second - When you are reading your own text, and you feel like you are skimming past or through a passage of text, that's most likely an indication that something needs work. Cut away or rephrase it better. Things doesn't have to be long to be good, it just needs to do what it needs to do. If it doesn't serve the story or scene, remove it. Now, that's for if you HAVE work to go through. If you haven't written anything yet, write down somewhere what you WANT to write. Analyse your key points. That's much easier than doing the big magus opus right away. T H I S I S O L D A S H E L L N O W : [L I N K] But I made this back in 2019 for anyone who felt stuck writing their (original) story, and needed an interview kind of ballplank to get your thoughts down. I know you're doing a fanfic but maybe it can help? Not all of these questions will be helpful to you but maybe some will. .

Write the fun thing first. You know what it is you REALLY want to write here, right? There's a scene in your head you want to work towards. Yeah? Well... It's a fanfiction. You don't really, not always anyway, need context. You can just get right into it and the context will probably present itself as you write and people read. People aren't dumb, they'll get it lol! If I start a fanfic with this: Hunter waited in the forest not far from Hexside as they had planned. Willow tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around, ready to fight, but lowered his guard when he saw her - and smiled. "Hi." You kinda already figured out, by text alone, that they must have previously decided to meet there and are on friendly terms. Blanks are easily filled in. So feel free to just, like, go for it!

I hope any of that helps!

[senbons]

i saw a comment on ur fic about how we (ur humble followers) didn't really expect u to actually do an anal sex scene and i want u to kno that i also didnt believe it and honestly didnt see it w ur shikatema (where theyre such equals and she, usually, directs the sex). i didn't see how it could happen. but ur fic completely blew me away. i never thought it could be sexy without being fake (like porn) and it felt totally real. i guess im not asking a question (care to comment? lol) but just writing to let u kno it was important for me to read and ty for all the work u do for us

Hahahahaha it's so funny that that's true. I was serious! It was part of initial impetus (my desire to try writing it) for this story! I also feel like I would have wanted to read an anal sex story (i read a lot of gay ffn, but never a heterosexual, woman-receiving story) that captured a good experience and wasn't, as you said, porn-y. It's not just "easy and feels amazing". It takes a lot of time and patience and, for me, feels great, but isn't something I orgasm from (unlike in porn). And it takes a lot of trust in your partner (if you want it to be good). <- I'm not here to advocate for butt stuff and I know most readers probably have way way more experience in sex than me, but that's kind of where i was. I think I would've had a better experience the first time I did it if I'd read about it first in a genuine way (more than just google searching).

But the original comment was interesting and I thought about it a lot. It can definitely be degrading to women, and it was completely necessary that Temari be the one to propose it. Not him! And it needed to go slow with lots of consent and growing into full-blown penile penetration slowly.

Also (and another comment brought this up) it's also supposed to genuinely push how far their relationship has gone.

I imagine it being something she has always wanted to try (I think she's the type of person to never want to "not" be in-the-know... and so solely as a sexual exercise, she would want to try it). But would never have been close enough with a partner to do it. And if men proposed it, for the most part, I imagine she'd go "fuck you, you can't fuck me in my ass unless I can peg yours" on principle. And then with him she feels like she can take these steps when it comes to sex (and can show that vulnerability and trust that is, in a way, disguised by the sex... she can show it and receive it from him without saying anything explicitly about her feelings. yeah okay maybe anal sex is just a *diSGuIse* for her *fEEliNgS*).

anyway this is for sure the most vulnerable we've seen her since she asked for sex in the first place.

[windor-truffle]

many thoughts head full they're only tangentially graces related but idk where else to vent:

I feel like I should have/did already know this about myself but holy shit I (and many others) am an absolute slut for the redemption-style ship trope, the ol' "I know you and I love you and that's why I can't let you deviate into this darker place I'm stopping you I'm saving you I'm helping you I'm bringing you back." and now I'm gonna ramble abt it because aaaaaaaaaa

I swear I've loved this trope for a while now but I think analyzing graces in part heightened my awareness of it until it hit a breaking point (w an ace attorney video of all things) and I realized that *all* of my favorite ships are this way 😅 Richard and Asbel fit it of course they're like the prototype of the simplest yet effective way to enact this: a pure-hearted protagonist who believes in his friends until the end but is willing to stand against them vs the love interest coerced (and in this case also outright possessed) into very obviously morally wrong actions by the exacerbation of a flaw but ultimately saved when they can put aside their pain and embrace the help that comes with companionship and makes that pain bearable. Paragons that cling on to hope even if it makes them seem naive or causes them to get hurt sometimes along the way are SO sexy and when that hope is rewarded with what they wanted, the redemption of someone who others thought to be beyond salvation, I the audience am also bursting into tears I don't care if it's cliche it's SO GOOD 😭

You know which other popular ship does this? Not hard to figure out I already mentioned Ace Attorney but yeah Phoenix Wright changed his whole career just because he heard that the hero who once stood up for him when no one else would was now a ruthless prosecutor and he had to find the truth of what had happened to his beloved childhood friend Miles Edgeworth (I've made the Richass comparison before and there's even an AA AU fic for graces but I haven't read it yet 😔). The AA fandom eats this gay ship up but how can you not 💜 Edgeworth being stopped in his tracks by this incessant bluffing optimistic man who stood fast against his selfishness (paraphrasing something Edgeworth literally says in JFA 😅) until he starts to question himself (because of some "unnecessary feelings") and eventually actually believes in himself after years of feeling guilt over a crime he thought he committed and shame of letting down the beliefs his supposed victim instilled him (the same beliefs that Phoenix is determined to bring out in him again) and ultimately leaves to figure out what his goal as a prosecutor really is then returns for my all-time favorite case Farewell and Turnabout and now it's Edgeworth's turn to say "I've learned what I stand for and the lengths to which I'd go to maintain it because you set me on this journey, now it seems it's your turn to walk this same path of doubt and discovery but don't worry I'll be right beside you, I'll walk it with you so you don't have fear going as far astray as I once did." Like. ;_;

But holdup I'm not done naming ships 'cause Fluri also does this to an extent. Yuri has to call out Flynn when it becomes apparent his blind trust in his mentor has made him complacent in the very crimes he sought to fix from within, and Flynn retorts by condemning the methods that Yuri has resorted to, the "dirtying of his hands," though I'd argue though that Yuri's double homicide is actually not a deviation from his morality but rather an extreme fulfillment of it. But it's still delightful though the way they have to pull each other back from the pitfalls of their own brands of justice, ie. entrusting too much power in fallable governments vs. appointing yourself the power to decide who gets to live or die. And like the previously mentioned ship, this pair works the best when they combine their different approaches (everything about how they infiltrate Ragou's manor is brilliant) because that way they can keep each other in check. It's almost like finding the balance in enacting justice is the theme of these games or something 😅

Last ship I wanna mention isn't even in canon but I can't resist the opportunity to plug my own (unfinished 😓) sormik fic "Falling Awake" because this is DEFINITELY what I was going for, a Mikleo threading the line of morality out of both despair and desperation to see their dream fulfilled even if the cost is steep, and a Sorey who struggles to reconcile whether this fallen seraph before him really is his friend or whether he can even be saved. A Mikleo who places the decision of whether to cross that line fully in Sorey's hands, trusting him to make the right call even as he begs him to let him do this, and a Sorey who can't let down the dreams of their past by allowing this particular tainted method to be its fulfillment. Everytime I work on it I start weeping even though I'm the one who wrote it 😅

Before I wrap this up though I wanna shoutout some variations of this trope, because it can obviously go a lot of different ways. I know V's rather fond of the more twisted love version in which instead of trying to bring their loved one back from the brink they jump off together, a la Kresnik Bros Bad End Best End 😁 In some ways I almost think this trope is "purer" because rather than trying to restore their beloved to what they think they should be (morally good) they embrace them as they are (amoral but kinda sexy bc of it 😂). True love lets the world burn 💜

Also worth mentioning is the delicious variation wherein the fallen party really was bad from the start, such as being a mole for an evil group, but caught feelings along the way and started wanting to be the kind of person the other seemed to think they already were. Dramatic irony is my fave and there's so much angst you can tease as the character evolves from "haha I'm deceiving them can't wait to betray them" to "shit I'm actually so much happier here with them but our relationship is built on a lie and when it comes out that I am a villain I will be undone and have nowhere to turn except from whence I came but I no longer want to be there." I feel like there's a lot of instances of this trope but the one that came to my mind first was Shadowhand Essek from Critical Role, there's the excellent Shadowgast ship of course but I like that he has this dynamic with the whole party who have been nothing but kind to him and inspire him to want a better life despite what he's done and what he's still trapped in.

Anyway, if anyone read this far first of all thank you 💜💜💜 I really have just been stuck in fandom ramble analysis mode for the past few days it's kinda insufferable but at least tumblr blogs are a good outlet for it 😅 And secondly uhhh if any of my impassioned ship/trope descriptions remind you of a particular media/ship lmk (I feel like Soriku might fit this but I never got that far into the series). I can't say I'll get to anything right away but if it's got this kinda vibe that's like catnip to me I'll happily stash the recommendation away for a future obsession someday 😅

[avonsdrabbles]

Hi! I seem to have rambled on to your blog

Weird question! How did you get into (if you ever did) examining and taking apart literature?

For us it's Merlin BBC cuz nothing new has come out for it in over a decade. It's 5 seasons long but at some point you just run out of content but yk, still wanting to talk about it we started drawing on narrative themes picking apart and inspecting the dialogue to figure out each character's intention. I'm glad to say it held up really well

& we're asking people whom have interacted with the degree that forces literature upon you how they started cuz it's interesting

On ask? On my main? It's more likely than you'd think--

Anyways, hi, love the snakes, love the planet, love the ask! It's unsurprisingly a little complicated for me, so bear with me.

I knew I liked English in middle school, but that wasn't dissecting text, that was writing. But that's where a love for language formed, and I started writing more and more. Back then, tho, I HATED dissecting literature, because it felt so pointless. "What did the author mean by this?" I don't know, I can't ask them, Margie! Ugh.

But then, I had the worst English teacher in my entire life in high school. She was, simply put, batshit. She rambled on and on about how fairies were going to take her soul and stole kids things, how cameras were the work of the devil and could also take your soul, how English would heal people's souls...

Really obsessed with souls ngl. Bit weird.

Anyways -- she was god awful. And she changed the curriculum multiple times so we could read what she wanted. The year I was supposed to read Romeo and Juliet, we read Midsummer Nights Dream instead. And by god, everything this woman said pissed me the fuck off. SHE FOCUSED ON THE IMABS? IMABIC PENTAMETERS???? I'm sorry, woman, can we discuss the puns here?! Can we discuss the authorial context of Shakespeare making this play within a play something commoners could enjoy while mocking nobility and the scandals at play, while (sorry, foaming at the mouth in rage and lust over literature).

Needless to say, I dove straight in. I'm one of the lucky ones who could understand Shakespeare without trying. It didn't take any energy on my part to parse the iambs, and I found a lot of beauty in the poetic nature of it all.

The next year, I was ready to fight, but I promptly had the best English teacher of my entire life, the one who taught me more about teaching than anyone else, and who I cite as the reason I became an English teacher. And she really fucking opened my eyes to the intricacies of subjectiveness in English. See, I'm a very stubborn person, and I'm very my-way-or-the-highway. I used to be very mathmatically inclined because there's only one right answer. Sure, you can get that answer a lot of different ways, but only one thing is right. English frustrated me because it seemed like I could say any fucking bullshit and have someone nod and say "Profound."

This is the teacher that taught me that's a feature, not a bug.

Through a little something called Waiting For Godot.

It is, by far, the worst play I've read. It's also my favorite. What sort of 10th grader gets to read an analysis of God that features pet play BDSM? THIS one. (This was also outside of the standard curriculum, but it was the end of the year, so all bets were off I guess).

This was the play where we dove in, read it, and without any discussion of the play, had to write an essay about the theme the author was presenting. All of us felt so lost. The symbolism didn't make any sense. There seemed to be no theme, beyond maybe "Waiting for someone who will never come is painful."

And then, the day before we had to write the essay... We had a substitute, following her lesson plans, and he was one of my favorite SEIAs (special ed instructional assistants). He was the exact same level of batshit as I am.

He SLAMMED his hand on the whiteboard, stared at us as we looked back in shock, and screamed, "ABORTION." He then went into a 40 minute diatribe about how the author of the text was very clearly explaining pro-life VS pro-choice mentality, leaning pro-life, but conversely making a pro-choice argument through the use of the discussion of Christian free will. He used sources. He used text evidence. By the end of the talk, all of us were nodding, clapping, acknowledging that he HAD to be correct!

And he stopped, stared at us, and laughed. "That was all bullshit."

He'd pulled it all out of his ass. And it made perfect sense to us all.

That's when I figured out that literature is what YOU make of it. Literature is all about interpretation; sure, there's tropes to follow that help guide our interpretations, but at the end of the day, words mean whatever you think they mean.

THAT'S what got me into lit analysis.

(And, oddly, homestuck)

[fvriva]

🐖 for 099! What is that Test tube baby up to...

putting this under a readmore because I have 3 whole guys I'm working on at once lol

send me an oc + an emoji (or order the WHOLE HOG)

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

When I was going through and filing off the serial numbers for IAE, I really wanted to try and edgy number name for this test tube baby. Stranger Things was really big at the time so that's where my head was at for 099. As for the number itself I was also really into B99 at the time. I also have a name for them after they escape the lab and start to have their own life, officially speaking, it's Rose, but I'm not married to it. I just want something nature themed that fits.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

Given their self-propogation, abandonment, and regeneration history that's a very sticky question. They seem like they're in their late teens though.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

One so far, their rescuer, Orpheus Alabaster.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

They've never eaten food in the traditional sense (outside of the nutritious slurry they grew up in, and the decomposing bodies part of it) but they would probably really enjoy a very crisp sweet onion bitten into directly.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

They're a lab rat and a horribly traumatized one at that. They're teetering on becoming a supervillain honestly.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Not really within the slurry. Swimming around, harvesting protein, just kind of the same degree of stimulation of a shark in a poorly-run aquarium. Once they get out, though, they'd fall in love with the world. I could see them keeping a little garden.

🎯 -What do they do best?

They don't really have any skills outside of their natural ability to heal. I suppose in a dark sort of way they also cope with boredom shockingly well.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Once out, they love to walk around and see new places. They'd especially love going to zoos, botanical gardens, and museums, even though they can't read the plaques.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Once out, Orpheus comes back for them and after they're stable enough to be out in public (it'll takes a while), he puts them in their chair and they both go to a little restaurant with a beautiful little terrace and view of the city.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Back when they were still in the tank, Orpheus stole a ship to try and go get help, but something went wrong with the launch, and they didn't fully comprehend what it was he was doing, so from their perspective the first face they'd seen in their entire life had for all intents and purposes died as he was trying to leave them.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Nope! Once again, the serial numbers were filed off. The main changes have been to their hair and outfit; their hair used to be short and brown, and their suit and more swimsuit-like than their current wetsuit look.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Mostly Stranger Things, honestly, but the original thing to inspire this OC was me trying to create a universe in which [Fictional Character A] and [Fictional Character B] were destined to meet in every universe, but [B] was destined to die. This was an intended reversal where [A] was the doomed one. As for who A and B were originally, well, if you know you know.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Hard scifi but they kind of lend themself to a short story format.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Agender but eventually they'll start to become a little more genderfluid as they start to see what's out there. They're pretty touch-repulsed so that's a no to sex.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

Do clones count as siblings? Especially if you were the only one to survive, and you've never known them personally? In which case, 98 siblings.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

The scientists in charge of 099's cloning project were absent for the entirety of their life. The parents of the original child that 099 is a distant clone of (Eurydice) are also dead.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Honestly it's 75% the angst and 25% the prospect of healing for 099. I also have machinations where they're a series antagonist for IAE that I'm hoping will come to fruition, eventually.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

I've been drawing them more recently! I got into an art show with an illustration of them. I don't really write for them though because frankly they're very strong as just a fucked up set of given circumstances.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

I don't think I'd be able to.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Claustrophobia and fear of abandonment, especially once Orpheus enters their life. Once they're out, they probably would also not be all that fond of large pools of water.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

They don't really have one. They're kind of their worst enemy honestly because they're just not doing well.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

The timestamps on my oldest artworks of them are from 2017.... Jesus. That's almost 7 full years.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

16 years old!

[felix-the-lemon-king]

SHIP BINGO UM UM UM how about azuriddle anndd um jadesilver and um um um um floriddle? and yknow what jaderiddle also bc all the other fish boys got a turn with riddle fjlsdjflj make it EQUAL give me ur THOUGHTS!!!

YEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO I was already making a FloRid bingo board the second I saw it LOL

AZURID

THEY'RE SO FUNNY AND SWEET WAAHHHH I joke that they are awful for each other but they could ALSO very very easily be the best thing to happen to each other and I love it, they're adorable little guys.. their relationship status is ALL OVER THE PLACE lol MAYBE they will get it together,, eventually 😭 (bottom right says "it was one-sided madness at first sight" do I have to say which one was the one-sided madness. Do I. Do I have to.)

JADESIL

THEY'RE SO GOOFY!!!!!!!!!!! I love this silly pairing so much omg. Floyd is the one saying they are horrible for each other because, you see, Floyd has few enough canon interactions with Silver that I can pretend, in my mind, that he has a simmering hatred for him (that Silver is 100% unaware of) just because he indulges Jade's mushroom hobby and because of the Annoying Good Boy Vibes That You Can't Even Bully In A Satisfying Way LOL!! I think they are Romeo & Juliet Part 2 Electric Boogaloo both bc Silver has FAILED the Floyd pass 🚫🚫🚫 and also bc Jade has automatically failed the Sebek pass by Being Human(? They count beast boys and fish boys as humans I DON'T GET IT BUT WHATEVER) however. I don't know how Lilia would feel about Jade dating Silver(???? Are they even dating. Or are they just homoerotically talking about mushrooms with Silver occasionally getting poisoned by Jade (also homoerotically) for fun. These are life's greatest questions) BECAUSE Jade always Finds A Way to ensure that in as many situations as he can squeeze into, he WILL indulge Lilia's awful cooking and together they WILL give all of NRC food poisoning. Would Lilia let him date(??) Silver.............. We may never know 😔 <- I should have circled the essay box LOL I'm still not even done. They are very fun and I was reading the enemies to lovers to friends ect box like 🤔 god wouldn't it be so funny if they had that dynamic JDGDJHDHSH neither of them have the ENERGY to Be A Hater, let alone Be A Hater And Then Fall In Love And Then Fall Out Of Love And Then So On And So On LOL!!

FLORID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have such a soft spot for this ship. It's a classic 😌 to Riddle they are enemies to friends to lovers to exes to friends ect. To Floyd, that is just the funny red guy he bullies (affectionately!!!!! Probably!!!!!!!!!!!!) 🥰 I didn't circle the romeo & juliet box bc while Floyd would NOT🚫🚫🚫 pass the Riddle's Mom Test, Riddle is smashing it out of the ball park w all of octavinelle and also would probably do the same for their mob boss parents GSHSJSHSGJSJA

JADERID

FUNNY BOYS I have a complicated relationship with this ship bc after all the convos we've had about Riddle's Union Birthday AU With Baby Brother Jade, I kind of prefer that ridiculousness over their ship JSHDJSGDJAJ that's his baby brother who he is Definitely Going To Fix For Sure And There Are No Problems With This Plan <- that said their ship is still so goofy on its own like how did this HAPPEN!!!! Riddle you are supposed to hate fish how have you let it come this far. Jade has FOOLED HIM!!!! Bamboozled into Dating A Fish 😔 I have it circled as a crack ship bc the only situations I come up with for this ship are SILLY ONES and that is the best 😌 also did not circle the romeo and juliet box bc Riddle is once again smashing ALL THE WAY OUTTA THE PARK AND ACROSS THE MAP OF TWISTED WONDERLAND with Jade's family and ALSO Jade would,, PROBABLY,,, pass the Riddle's Mom Test,,,,, for being a Polite And Kind Gentleman,,,,,,,,,, (she, too, has been BAMBOOZLED BY THE FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope Jade rearranges her silverware drawer while she isn't looking hehehehhehehehe)

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e1 we need to talk about kevin (w. jeremy carver)

new season, new me. *silent wish goes up for smaller sideburns*

of course they had to include "dick is coming" in the recap. we can't let the opportunity for a dick joke slip out of our hands

very xfiles

okay i threw this in lightroom real quick to make it less dark because what is going on here? it's very... strike a pose, for feral!dean. and the kids are like from a painting. it's very dramatic. maybe i will paint it some day.

well the infamous benny appears. i also didn't realize purgatory was gonna be a time jump like hell. read something not too long ago that was fairly evocative of the environment of purgatory so i was thinking some of the show happened there (though i suppose flashbacks are also a possibility).

lol i'm already upset, broad strokes know how this goes with their reunion emotionally.

this is so ridiculous. i was just complaining how i felt so blah with the end of s7. well here we go, let's hurt my feelings with brother conflict stress and i'm gonna be upset about it? make up your mind

okay so some fics i've read are like "sam didn't look for dean while he was in purgatory" but i did not pick up that for all intents and purposes, sam had no reason to assume he wasn't dead.

there's a lot going on in this scene. like the semi dodging the cas questions, how he got out, etc.

SAM Yeah. Yeah, I – you were gone... Dean. Cas was gone, Bobby was dead. I mean, Crowley even shipped off Kevin and Meg to parts unknown. DEAN So you just turned tail on the family business.

are you kidding me right now, dean? like he should carry on hunting because it's the family business??? i'll chalk this up to being mad and fucked up for being hunted for a year.

SAM Nothing says "family" quite like the whole family being dead. DEAN I wasn't dead. In fact, I was knee-deep in God's armpit killing monsters, which, I thought, is what we actually do. SAM Yes, Dean. And far as I knew, what we do is the thing that got every single member of my family killed. I had no one – no one. And for the first time in my life, I was completely alone. And, honestly, I-I didn't exactly have a roadmap. So, yeah, I-I fixed up the Impala, and I just... drove.

💔

DEAN After you looked for me. Did you look for me, Sam? [SAM looks away.] Good. That's good. Now, we – we... always told each other not to look for each other. That's smart. Good for you. Of course, we always ignored that because of our deep, abiding love for each other, but not this time, right, Sammy?

well i can see now why fics harp on this point. so i'm assuming sam thought dean was in heaven. would dean expect sam to try to get him back from there too? tucking 'deep and abiding love' into my pocket

okay right i've talked about this before too, how sam is always the fuckup begging for forgiveness and dean is the righteous man. and i'm tired of it! this thing with the voicemails from kevin tran is just... cruel. i don't like the point they're making.

real life, anyone in sam's situation would be a fucking mess. i still don't really think sam would flake on the phones with kevin like that.

whoa whole new desktop. so long untitled 1 and 2

oh we get urls now in the new web browser! and look at that, already an invalid web url http://www.searchtheweb/main missing your tld, friend 😔 1 out of 2, at least

lying about the dog in the car too. all right

okay, purgatory flashback after all. umm. what happens when you die in purgatory? respawn there? or is that the way to the big empty i've heard about

DEAN Hmm. So what was it, hmm? What could possibly make you stop just like that? A girl? Was there a girl? SAM The girl had nothing to do with it. DEAN There was a girl. SAM Yeah. There was. And then there wasn't. Any more questions?

*heavy sigh*

not getting through this episode tonight. reconvene tomorrow

[minmin-pal]

im just gonna nab that "dead man's questions" and stick it in between watching part 4 and 5, kinda gives me vibes of like spy secrecy type stuff lol and ngl i was about to search it up automatically but i'm glad i refrained from it now. so the plot follows a character whose passed away? is it some type of flashback or maybe an 'afterlife/ghost' adventure? i don't know which or if either are right so i'm just pulling stuff outta my guessing hat lol

i might just have to accept this inevitable heartbreak either way tbh, just watching characters go on an adventure, have fun, develop and just generally live makes it very hard not to get attached though ig that just comes with the viewing experience. the 'waiting for them to bring the person back' bit is so real though, ngl i always end up forwarding and end up ruining a series for me because "when is this character getting brought back???", to the point i end up not paying attention to the rest of the series lol(/lh) though i'll make sure to not do that when watching jjba :D W series fr

and oh! you've watched naruto? you said the 'original naruto' so i'm gonna go out on a leg and assume you didn't watch Shipudden?(/genq/nf) could I ask what were your thoughts on the story (however far you got into it?) maybe like favorite/disliked characters? parts of the plot you liked and didn't, did you have any critics of the series (both manga and anime, assuming you read the manga too)? (/lh) any opinions on the legendary Sannin? generally, just your thoughts on it i suppose

and oh yeah fair fair, the intro bit i brought up since i kinda tiptoed around it when i was searching up watch guides and didn't want watch anything that might've spoiled anythin lol (may have been too careful for no reason lmao) the intro was just the first clip i saw of the actual 3d bits (i'm in the 'not know' side whether that style/model was consistent with the actual 3d used in the show tho) but wait they animated the powers n stuff to be 3d?? that's actually super cool wha (/gen)

took me a while to understand that 'death 13' was the name of the episode, and ohh it never occurred to me about the 'copyright issues' bit though i guess it's the same reason why people will always use names like '"barbucks" for a shop in their story whose icon looks awfully like Starbucks lol. i usually watch my anime subbed, though which would you suggest for this one? do you usually watch in subbed or dubbed? but eh yeah, might not matter much but still ty for the heads up! (/gen)

no but truee, the foundation parts make the lead up to the big punchy monster powers bit even more satisfying though :( and jonathan, yeah yeah! i've seen very small smidges of him here and there, i briefly consulted the wiki page of his because i wanted to find a clip of his voice without spoilers and omg he sounds so cool! :D i didn't scroll down any further down the wiki though, there weren't any "spoilers ahead!" warnings but i didn't wanna take any chances :')

oh yeah, sxf is actually a pretty good example of a 'polished' anime artstyle similar to other modern animes tbf, the sharp difference when i try to compare the two in my head made me snort a bit ngl (/lh) the style and story (from what i've seen of jjba and sxf so far at least) are so stark in contrast but they're both so good too (/gen)

twt has already shoved in my face that apparently, eren dies for mikasa or something? i'm not in the know of all the details but the shock factor is definitely eh- minimized now i suppose lol, and oh a tier list might be a fun idea if your up for it! how do you manage to keep track of the ones you've read/watched? or is it just a 'welp i'm relying on my memory for this' type thing? (/hj/lh) sxf really carrying both jjba (with no one being safe lol) and aot in terms of fluff, i feel as though i'm jinxing myself and that the ending might not be happy either but i;m crossing my fingers it is lol, and yea dw abt getting off topic, it's fun to read tangents (is that how you use the word)

mangakas favorite drink are the tears of their fans :') (/j) but props to you for managing to get the titan lore, i've seen a lot of people say it just confused the heck out of them and some said they dropped it so i hope you were able to enjoy it :D (both the series and the 'head-ache inducing' lore /hj/lh) 

and yay no problem! i'll admit when i read your description of it, i tried to do the same actions? like laughing but not making any sound, i definitely looked very goofy while doing it but i remembered the term 'croak/croaking' so it was a fruitful endeavor :D (/j/lh) i apologize for the tmi ;')

 "Chainsaw Man is a character-driven story that manages to conclude itself in 97 chapters, and its due to the author focusing on the main characters and its themes," i didn't think it could be explained so simply in word form but that actually does make sense. "All the battle shounen stuff is just being used a medium to tell the actual story, it's not the story itself." just this description alone summarizes it well i'm assuming and now that i think about it, really makes csm stand out tbh. Almost all anime i can name off the top of my head (action/battle genre ofc) really does focus on "different states and nations all preparing to fight one another for [ cue overarching plot point ]." Character development and personal introspection don't tend to be the top priority, well aside from the 'shonen mc moments' such as ya know- tanjiro, izuku, etc.? (/lh) or from what i can gather at least lol

but honestly, i didn't know csm concluded at 97 chapters! the fact the author was able to just- start it, do what he wanted to do and end it as planned (or at least i'm assuming? i haven't seen any articles with the clickbait tagline of "csm creator dislikes/isn't happy about [ ... ]!") it got pretty popular too so that's awesome to hear, and yea true actually, i can see you and other people like denji and the fact that both the "Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School/Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru" tags on ao3 collectively have over 5.8k fics says enough lol 

spy was definitely a very wholesome show and it's just so, so nice to watch the family dynamic form and grow<3 dunno why but i liked how they were able to incorporate bits of yor and loid's profession into their parenting styles what with yor helping to cause the iconic damian scene and loid with attempting to sneak in to change anya's grade lol, but oh! what's your thoughts on franky? ngl i kinda love all the goofy stuff he pulls and gets twilight to do lol, but yeah tbh yuri's bit of being secret police and his scenes with anya are some of the only highlights of his char i remember when watching ;; (/lh) obsessive brother still kinda shocks me with how it's pretty prevalent as a trope tbh but also what's your thoughts on bond? also what was your favorite and maybe least liked episode or mayb chapter of sxf? 

it's been a bit since i found the site but i can binge all the chaps now so heads up an ask abt that in a few hours :D (/lh/gen) your so right about that thoo, having characters that could just be irrevocably bad people can be done but managing to make them appealing/getting the readers to feel for them is such a sign of being a good writer, but also yeah managing to cause your readers pain thru them is to be applauded too lol (mangaka's really do enjoy their reader's pain /j/lh) 

how have all the scenes you've shown be so pretty, my brain would assume it's just specific detailed scenes but i have the very sneaking suspicion that the whole manga is styled like this and i'm very much looking forward to it,  even if i covered her facial expression her hair swaying and clothing ripples(is that what u call it) somehow portrays emotion so well, how even? (/lh/pos)

i was confused on who 'nameless white-haired guy' was until i read the next sentence and i just went "ah" lol, and oh kinda sucks he got gassed too much but damn that personality is just yikes lol (from what i've seen of the one scene ofc) and oh there'a dif other guy? in about 30 minutes i'll see this hoodie dude so i'll end up finding out, i know he won't be 'as bad' but i'm looking forward to seeing how bad? uhm, basically looking forward to the chapter, hope that made sense or the sentiment at least got across lol, and yea no worries i'm reading your response at the same time so there might be dead ends/random tangents in mine that i didn't notice so- sorry about that :') 

And ah yea that makes sense, I'd actually be pretty surprised if you were able to remember specific little details but glad to hear you enjoyed it :D the analogy of 'cramming before a test' hit me on a personal level lol (/hj) and oh, was nijimiya the girl mc? she really does seem like a sweetheart and help I never knew she had a younger sister, that's super cool! And yeah! The dude's character development was nice to watch too but alas ofc, tears lol

I remember reading 'Kichikujima (Freak Island)' quite a while ago, I remember it's pretty gorey though I don't know if it qualified as phycological horror? Don't remember too many details so I may be wrong, but oh yeah! I don't know for sure if you were reffering to these types but I kind of made some terms for it lol, idk they're pretty simple labels

Jumpscare Horror - self explanatory, there's a lot of jumpscares and "dun dun dunn" type music/scenes right before the jumpscare.

Gore Horror - I assume this is where kichikujima falls into? Typically, zombie and slasher movies fall into this one lol

Phycological Horror - what you just described :D and ngl ig the name for this one is self explanatory enough lol

I haven't met many people that actually enjoy phycological horror, what's oyasumi punpun if you don't mind me asking? I'm mildly familiar with junji ito's works, i only ever watched vids that dubbed over it tbh but is uzumaki the swirly one? Lackluster description ;; but I'm assuming that's the one, I also heard there was an anime about junji ito's work(s)? Have you seen it? If ya did, what were your thoughts on it? Ohh have you already watched neon genesis? I don't see many people talking about that anymore, what'd you think of it? Seeing your summary of your taste for manga/anime/etc., have you heard of dororo? I only ever watched the anime so I'm not sure whether you'd enjoy it or not, but it's one of the things that come to mind when I think of things that are 'depressing at their core' (/lh)

Figured they'd be under the isekai category tbh, the dif labels just confused me for a bit lol and yeah makes sense it'd depend on the story itself, blue lock is that one popular sports anime recently isn't it? Tbf it's been a hot minute since shield hero gained much media attention as it did before so I don't imagine much talk about it could've been going around lol

Very valid reasoning ngl TT always a genuine whiplash whenever you compare the male and female character designs, the 'probably do not see people of the preferred sex at all' comment both made me cackle and makes a lot of sense lol, the manga started at 1997 and since it's a 'weekly title', technically a chapter comes out every week, I assume that doesn't leave much time for socialization? I dunno but doing this for close to 3 decades, you'd think some actual body diversity or dif styling would be developed as the story progressed but- how did it seriously evolve backwards? This is biologically impossible??(/hj/lh)

I remember a review video I watched citing the author's response as basically saying the target demographic is teen boys anyways? I need to find the video but I'm definitely sure that was the gist of the first bit of his response, it's as if his made unique and customized molds for all of the male characters while using the singular body mold fkr every single one of the female characters ;; the fact he prolly just chooses not to is def a massive let down tbh :')

While scrolling down, my eyes instantly went to the pic so I went "Miles :D!" then woah second pic jumpscared me real bad lol, when you said you had an example in mind I didn't think it'd be such a good example yikes, the longer I look at the artwork the more I understand your point, it's making- a lot of sense, the "you can tell a lot about someone by the way they draw" part is true tbh, this whole bit is just giving me the icks ;;

But ahh, I'll be reading the killer in love manga now :D also very sorry for answering so late, I know it isn't compulsory or anything but really just have my sincerest apologies ;; /gen/pos

And yay alright, I'll try to switch it up sometime for variety lol, minjae, d'you have any that you prefer or prefer not to use?

I watched the outro as it's own clip and I swear the meme was scratching my brain since it seemed so familiar, I'm questioning how'd it even turn into that meme lol, did it take you a while to find out?

(may contain some grammar/spelling errors, srry abt that)

HI!!! :grin: aot spoilers and..... just walls of text under the cut i didnt answer some stuff since there really wasnt anything for me to add of worth-- i read everything though dw

you should read deadmans questions right after thus spoke rohan kishibe (which i forgot to mention is technically a prequel- i shouldve said that.. u watch it after tho cuz its only rlly fun if youve watched rohan throughout part 4 already) i think- (so between 4 and 5 as you said) i cant really... tell you without sorta ruining it so u just have to wait and see. i can say its like.. not the same person he was when she was alive (im messin up their prns on purpose. for extra concealing) and theyre kinda like trying to become happy by doing.. assasinations.. :grin:

my one piece of character death-related advice is to not expect their return in this series. like once theyre dead theyre dead basically would advise to not forward aswell- going backwards fine :grin:

yes ive watched the first naruto it didnt end on a bad note or anything, and i started shippuden and he was suddenly like fucking 16 so i put it on the backburner (for whats been... 4 years now.. i dont think ill get to it ever honestly naruto was fire though. when he would transform into that.. posessed fox form i ALWAYS had to rewind and watch the scene again. idk if its top 3 anime :grimacing: like people say but its not a bad show either (i watched it instead of reading it cuz it was Free) for characters i LOVED naruto. ofc i did hes the mc but like hes such a cool kid honestly. the kinda kid everyones friends with in primary school (apart from in show). the entire main gang was great but naruto and kakashi were my top 2 .. and gaara now that i remember him i liked him more than naruto when i watched it tbh-- he was just so angry and emo and fine ive matured past the age of calling fictional characters attractive but when i was 11 i was in love with him honestly heavily disliked sasuke. which is ironic cuz i hated him for the reason i loved gaara he was so angry and emo all the time-- but he hurt naruto with his edginess (technically gaara did too but i excuse it.) also he was just being a bit of a asshole. like anime rival esque asshole but an asshole nontheless this is getting long so i'll get to the show itself honestly. because its been so long i cant remember what i really disliked the stuff that i can remember are just dumb stuff that all older animes do i guess all the "sexy-jutsu" stuff were kinda off-putting plus jiraiya as a whole. i loved him but damn he was WEIRD i had to google what the sannin were cuz i genuinely forgot-- but i think theyre cool jiraiya is a bit icky, the blonde one (forgot her name) was pretty funny- i liked her dynamic with sakura and orochimaru i think his name was; was so cool. his entire look influenced who i am today i owe it all to him /hj

death 13 is both the episode name and the ability name of the person in that episode and- id wholeheartedly recommend subbed for jjba a LOT of the jokes only work cuz its japanese, aswell as the emotions in scenes personally i dont like dubs since i find that its usually more "colorful" in its original form (for that reason i generally cannot watch korean dubs of animes.. they just throw me off ever-so-slightly

jonathan looks better in the anime than the manga to me, but this is mainly because i dont really like anime characters with muscles as big as. uh.

the hercules-corona borealis great wall :grin: and in the anime they werent as ginourmous its a REALLY good thing arakis art style did not stay the same for the entire series honestly picturing the later characters drawn the way the first parts were drawn is honestly whiplash-inducing

(NOT AN OFFICIAL DESIGN. PART 5 CHARACTER IN PART 1 STYLE)

you really cant compare the jojo artstyle with sxf (probably because of all the muscles + how "harsh" jojo's shading is, and the personality in both styles)

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this is the best thing i could find ^ and honestly it looks cool as hell- the artist is really talented but with the art style i just cant envision it would be as lighthearted as sxf is it carries its own vibe to it

if youve already heard that eren dies it wont pack as hard of a punch (the punch being that THE main character died) but it will still tug on your heartstrings, if you dont know the specifics. i wont say its for mikasa, but more for everyone really eren. is honestly a result of knowing too much thats what i love about aot really.. theres no bad guys other than the big man eating monsters, but even those monsters arent truly bad everyones doing what they have to do, and thats most evident in eren once you sit down and absorb the lore its gutwrenching for remembering what i watched... i honestly have no way of tracking it. theres been a good few times i watched a show, and then realized id finished it already i probably shouldve done that, but theres no point to it now so i just use memory (which honestly shows if a show is good or not-- theres a lot of shows i immediately think of despite having watched them 3 years ago/ ex: death note, erased, jjba, and school live) (and yes thats the correct way to use the way tangents)

thats whats great about csm its not just ur average battle shounen, and its battling is second to its characters whenever i see debates abut goku vs naruto and such its just like the main thing anyone got from the series was the fights (which is fully valid) but like.. there usually isnt much character depth this is usually combatted by making the characters one character trait- something that csm flips over idk what im on about. its 11 pm and i havent slept in 2 days im so sorry if this comes off weirdly written

csm was a really short read and im so happy about that since as you said, fujimoto did what he wanted, finished, and was satisfied with it hes also working on csm part 2- which is not from denjis pov it has a whole different protagonist ive heard, and takes place somewhere else i wont be reading it, since i dont want to start anything i cant finish, but i do push you to once youve finished jojo/killer in love/ other things you feel like reading

it is really nice that yor/loidś work influenced the way they parent (esp with how yor tried to teach anya to defend herself from bullies) franky was a fun character- i liked his disguises he got from loid

bnd is cute i dont really have anything to say about him.. the whole looking into the future thing is cool though my favorite chapter has to be the one where loid is convinced yor is upset with him so he takes her to a bunch of different places.. but she was just in pain after a mission bad explanation but you get the memo i hope

i wouldnt say ALL scenes are the exact same quality as everything ive been showing, but everything is generally *really* pretty

^that was a generally regular scene, so thats just how the art is as a default its really beautiful (also that guy with white hair is the arata i mentioned-- he isnt bad in comparison to all the other ¨bad" characters.. hes just sorta a prick)

i honestly,,,.... shouldnt have said hoodie guy isnt as bad hes really bad but morally speaking white hair guy is even worse so he isnt as bad, but he isnt tame either, esp later on all your points are getting across just fine btw :grin:

i havent read kichijuma before, but i searched it up and it honestly looks really cool like really cool it has 24 volumes from what i read though so i dont think ill check it out

of the three you mentioned, i dont like jumpscare horror its just lazy same with gore horror if thats all there is to it i dont really enjoy horror mangas/animes much in general minus a select few, but for games im all for them (chillaś art's stuff is great) people i think don't like psychological horror because its more of a thing that gets to you (?) in contrast to with jumpscares or something, that it hits you and youre scared and thats sorta that you dont really shriek in fear over psychological horror, which is what some people look for in horror (yes uzumaki is the swirly one) oyasumi punpun,... is... about punpun and him traversing life (him and his family are drawn as birds. everyone else is drawn normally. he is human) i would usher you to check it out yourself :thumbsup:

also- i started dororo, but i never finished it i probably should tonight since i cant sleep ill tell you how i feel about it if i get to it (no promises though)

i get the one piece demographic is manga loving teenage boys but i guess its just dissapointing that he just... chooses not to put effort into his female characters

im so sorry :sob: i saw it on twitter afterwards and i immediately remembered what id said before it was the best example ever (and have fun with killer in love tell me all about how you felt about it :pray: )

i dont rlly mind any variation whatever u feel like

last but not least when i heard the outro music it took like 3 seconds for me to realize what it was afterwards my world was just flipped by its head (the typos are fien i made evern mroe) (and sorry this took me a minute i kept responding then drafting it then editing then drafting it again)

[talisidekick]

hey, why do you think people should assume you're a woman just bc you have long hair and wear clothing from the women's section? am I not a woman bc I have short hair and am GNC? what about gay men who dress the same as you? how are we supposed to know without misgendering gay folks? I'm not a TERF or radfem but I saw them bringing it up and it's really got me asking questions. I'm 18 and new to this, so I hope this isn't weird to ask!!! It just seems like they were right w "dresses/long hair/femme = woman" when I read the replies to that One Post (also sry they were mean to you!!! and I hope this is ok to ask!)

Three things you can do actually!

If you're unsure, default to 'they/them' and assume neutrality in gender. In fact, I do this just default: I use 'they' or 'them' until the person corrects me, or someone close to them or who knows them does.

Ask their pronouns! I've done this on occasion. "Hi! I'm Tali. Can I ask your preferred pronouns?" and that's it! If I forget, I use 'they/them' when referring them and then approach and apologize for forgetting and ask for clarification again.

Correct if you get it wrong and they bring it up. Just a simple "Ah, sorry about that." And move on, or just nod, correct, and continue.

I know some people take issue with this, but that's largely because of the cisgender normative culture they were brought up in. But just like combating any bias that excludes a minority you're aware of, you just adapt so you make sure that minority is accounted for on the chance someone from that minority comes along.

It's a minor social change, and anyone who scoffs at you for not knowing on impulse, well that's an immediate red flag and an indication of entitlement and/or deliberate exclusionary views. Great way to let people know you probably aren't going to like them if you're an egalitarian.

The other thing to remember is that someones pronouns don't have to reflect their gender. A non-binary person could go by she/her or he/him pronouns. So when it comes to gender, it's really not your business unless they decide to tell you, and then it's only your business in so far as how much they elect to tell you.

[actuallyitsstar]

3, 4, 27, and 51 for fanfic asks?

✨ send me a number to ask a fanfic question! ✨

3. what is the best fandom you've ever been involved in?

my answer is twofold! if we are not basing this on fictional fandoms only, i think i have overall the most fond memories of being a mythical beast- to elaborate, there's these two lifelong best friends with a youtube show, called rhett and link, you may or may not have heard of them- and i was on ground zero for the peak of their career. i had a lot of friends in that fandom, a very big fandom blog, i helped organize and participate in fandom community stuff, and the energy and the vibe and the fun and creativity and sense of community were like no other. definitely my fandom honeymoon era, and i still love it dearly in a nostalgic sort of way. unfortunately, it came to an end, tho, as most things do; people started infighting, there was lgbtq+ discourse that i felt very much ostracized by, as this was during the big "asexuals aren't lgbt+" wave and i was getting lowkey harrassed about it; and a lot of people just started being downright nasty to each other out of nowhere. the whole fandom pretty much imploded, and as far as i know now there's only 10 or 15 blogs remaining (i used know if at least 1k+, which to me is a big fandom, tho i know lots of fandoms are much bigger!) that post about rhett and link / are mythical beasts.

i sometimes wish i could get back to that. i do rly miss that sense of community and positivity and friendship. i still absolutely love rhett and link and i will cherish my internet dads forever <3 but that old community is gone now, unfortunately, and i don't think there's any chance of it coming back. (my close second in this category has to be dan & phil and the phandom, so much so that i was peer pressured into making a sideblog for it, but it's so much larger and more impersonal feeling- still a great community tho! with its occasional discourse, as most communities tend to have i suppose)

if we are talking about specifically ~fictional~ media fandoms, then believe it or not, top gun! i've never received such a warm and kind welcome bursting into a fandom late with my bullshit, lol <3 we are small but mighty, and i'm gonna be writing for this fandom until it's just u and me reading it, probably, so there's no taking that away from me, lol. everyone i have talked to has been so lovely and insightful and i've loved all the creativity and amazing works that i have read/seen/etc!!! <3<3 very sad that i missed out on the original top gun summer tbh!

4. do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

i don't, actually! i was never that fully intertwined with a fandom and its discourse for whatever went down to really effect me that directly, except for the mythical beasts, and i can't regret that- a formative experience that gave me friends and fun and a lot of laughter at the time! everything has a time and a place and sometimes it isn't meant to last forever, and that's okay. i still had fun!

27. which do you hate more: writing summaries or picking titles?

SUMMARIES !!!!! summaries are so yuck oh my god. titles are easy. titles are chosen by listening to Music from Blorbo Playlist (tm) until i hear a line and go !!! THAT ONE !!!! and thats the title <3 its so easy for me <3 but summaries. blood sweat and tears ??? stressing that it doesn't sound interesting enough so no one will click on it???? trying to reveal the ~vibe~ of the fic w/o spoiling anything ????? Impossible!!! it cannot be done

51. rant about something you love/hate about fanfic! go!

I LOVE THAT FANFIC IS A GROUP PROJECT LOVE LETTER TO LOVE. whether it be to the things we love, the people we love, the stuff that helps us escape or makes us feel better or brings us joy or drives us to make something or inspires us. you can't get into fanfic for clout or for money. you can't be stuck up about fanfic (or i suppose u can try but. u won't get far!), you can't be a fanfic influencer. you write fics because you love something so much that you just have to talk about it or you feel like you're going to burst, and so do the people who have also seen the something who may or may not have the same feelings as you- so you all share that love with each other!

and idk. i guess i just think thats neat <3 i love u fanfic authors <3 i love u fanfic readers <3 that is All

tysm for the ask and sorry it took 18 million years and that i have um older asks to answer still 😭 we are getting there slowly kids akdhdjfhf