#i'm supposed to be coming up w questions for this reading and so far like my biggest personal question is about tone.

[wellnoe]

reading a book that is very interesting in its quantitative analysis but is so weird in its tone!! the place the author chooses to insert emotionality is bizarre and his treatment of mortality of the be all end all of suffering is equally so.

[yangqism]

we can't be friends | liu yangyang

actor!liu yangyang x actress!femreader

synopsis.yangyang is born to be a star, the kind of talent that lights up the screen. you, on the other hand, is a nepo baby who everyone believed got the lead role because of your family’s influence. he fought all these years to be the man that he is while you are still busy proving yourself to the populace. you believe you’re more than just your parents. he believes he’s less than without his fans. when your lives become intertwined, things get messy–one has never tasted consequences while the other lies awake at night, haunted by the thought of it.

genre. romance, angst

warnings. there's pretend kissing then there's real kissing where yangyang doesn't ask you, he just goes for it, i do not know the difference between drama and series so sorry <3

words. 8,812

eternal sunshine. masterlist

a/n. it gets better at the ending part so plZ just bear w me. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I'm turning 20 this year lol feels so scary if you think about it but whatever

The universe is unfair, but Yangyang has learned to live with that. 

It was unfair that he always played second to someone else. The second male lead, the second-best choice, the second most important. But he was never really bothered about it. Not until you waltzed your way into the picture. 

You still remember it vividly. It was a Monday afternoon, the first read through with the cast of Eternal Sunshine–a week before filming. He was already sitting beside the chair assigned to you, practicing his lines diligently while you took a sip from your coffee you ordered to-go. 

You greeted him with a warm smile but he only replied with a small and rushed one. Sure, he was your second lead in the drama but during that time, he made you feel unwanted. But who are you kidding? Of course, you were everything he wasn’t supposed to want. You’re the female lead, the one who would be with the male lead in the end. The center of attention. Realistically, you’re a nepo baby whose life had been handed to her on a silver platter, complete with designer shoes and an unearned (still) spotlight. But God, did you wear it well.

Whereas Yangyang had to work his way up. Every step of his journey was carved out of his determination and long nights filled with self-doubt, management’s uncertainty, and the media’s scrutiny. He wasn’t handed anything the first time he breathed in the land of showbiz. Every opportunity, recognition, and spotlight he’s getting right now is because he persevered. 

That’s what made sitting next to you on that Monday afternoon so excruciating. 

While he did smile to your way in a rushed manner, he viewed you as a person far differently than other people did when they looked your way. You were effortless in his eyes. Effortless in a manner that he could never be. Even in the most mundane moments like you sipping on your coffee, standing up to bow to anyone who comes in the script room, scrolling through your phone–you carried yourself with an air of belonging, like you had been born to inhabit the world he had clawed his way into. 

And yet, it wasn’t jealousy that twisted his chest when he looked at you. Heck, it was something worse. 

No matter how much he tried to deny it, when your mouth opened to read the script, Yangyang knew exactly what you were capable of. You weren’t just a nepo baby or some random female lead that the crew casted. You were the kind of actress everyone aspires to be. And also the kind of person who could uproot everything he’d worked so hard to build.

You first met Yangyang at a press conference after an award show your parents were invited for and you were their plus one. The journalist decided to pick on you, asking you pressing questions regarding your status in the industry. 

“What do you feel that everyone’s calling you a nepo baby, Ms. Y/N?” Well, you almost wish the journalist hadn’t called you ‘Miss’ if his question was like that. 

You just smiled at him awkwardly, never giving in to their pressing questions about your relevance in the acting industry. Afterall, you believe you’re more than just your parents. Sure, they opened this path for you but you’re working hard to show to everyone that you deserve that spot. 

You never really paid attention to the young actor during that time but you saw him looking at you while you were being interrogated by the rude journalist. Your eyes met for a brief moment before he broke it to talk to another actor. 

At first, Yangyang didn’t feel bad for you during that time, considering how he thought you were an annoying actress, like what he had heard from rumors. 

“Miss Y/N, what’s with you today? You keep on failing the scene,” the director yells another disappointed ‘cut!’ after you fumbled your lines with a scene with Sicheng. “Let’s take 5!” 

“I’m sorry, Sicheng,” you gave an apologetic smile to the star actor but he just shrugged and went to his assistant to freshen up. 

If there was one thing you loved about working with Sicheng, it was because he doesn’t really care about where you came from or what you did to become his female lead. He’s just there for work. A bonus is that he treats you nicely, he’s just nonchalant at times. Especially when that pop star comes into the set. 

“You’re too stiff, Y/N,” the sudden voice from behind your back startled you. You whip around to see Yangyang leaning casually against a prop stand, arms crossed and an amused grin tugging at his lips. 

“Your body’s too tense, that’s why you keep messing up,” he points out, tilting his head. “I saw it when you were delivering your lines.”  

“Oh, Yangyang-sunbaenim! I see, I’ll try to deliver these lines as smoothly as possible,” you replied, giving him a small smile.

“Practice it to me.” 

“Huh?”

“Practice your line to me and I can give you feedback, dummy,” Yangyang reiterated, his tone filled with playful impatience.

“O-oh! Uhm…” You focus, taking a deep breath before looking directly into his eyes, “Lei… I don’t think you can understand me… I don’t think we’re… we’re…” Your voice falters right where it did before. You clench your jaw, trying to force the words out, but they just won’t come. 

Your shoulders drop as you let out a sigh of defeat, “I don’t think I can do this,” you admit, your voice barely a whisper but Yangyang heard it. 

“You think you can’t because you want Lei and Riko to be together. You’re so immersed in your role right now, Y/N,” Yangyang scolded, giving you a bottle of water from his staff. 

“This isn't real, Y/N. You need to separate work and your personal feelings. If you want Lei and Riko to be together, they will in the end. Just not in this scene. Get yourself together and wrap this scene up so we can all go home,” he reaches up, ruffling your hair like you’re a little kid on the set, and before you can even process what he did, he’s already walking away, hands shoved in his pockets heading straight to annoy Kun.

“Separate work and personal feelings, huh?” You muttered, staring at the water he gave you. His words echo in your mind, louder than the busy mumbles of the crew around you. Maybe what he said is true considering how you can’t bear to think that Lei, Sicheng’s character, and Riko, your character, will end their love escapade for a few episodes before rekindling again.

“Y/N, Sicheng, back on stage!” The director yelled, giving you a brief smile before instructing the cameraman. “Do your best.” 

You nod, tightening your grip on the water bottle before setting it aside. Your feet move automatically, carrying you toward the place you’ll be delivering your line in. As you’re heading to your place, you can feel Yangyang’s eyes on you. 

You looked in his direction and he already had his signature gummy smile plastered on his face, “Do your best,” he mimicked the director’s voice, making you giggle.

It was a week after the first shooting for Eternal Sunshine that the director called you in her office for an emergency revision for the later episodes. 

You were wearing your favorite faded jeans with a long sleeve and a coffee on your hand. At first, you thought it was just gonna be you and the director but a sleepy Yangyang came into her office like it’s his second home.

“Greetings, Yangyang!” The director annoyingly scolded him, throwing a pillow at him when he immediately latched himself onto the sofa. 

“Hello, noona. Hello, Y/N.” 

“I’m very sorry about him, Ms. Y/N,” his manager, Huang Renjun, apologized on behalf of the second male lead. “He just came from an overnight shooting with Mr. Qian Kun. The two of them had to shoot their scenes more than once because the rookie actor kept messing up and they didn’t want to be assholes on set.” 

“Hey! What about an apology for me?” The director playfully demanded even though she had known the reason for Yangyang’s behavior beforehand. The director was like family for Yangyang and Renjun. This isn’t the first project they did together hence they’re comfortable with each other.

“As he said, Kun-ge,” Yangyang mentioned the golden boy and the three immediately saw the flabbergasted reaction of the director. “Kun-ge, Kun-ge, Kun-ge, Kun-” Yangyang teased, his smile grew wider as the director’s face became more embarrassed before having enough of his ministries. 

“Enough, second lead!” The director sassed, “I called you here today because there’s a change in the storyline we’re going to record for tomorrow,” she started as her assistant gave you and Yangyang the copy of the revised script and concept for the shoot. 

As you skimmed the pages, you realized that you and Yangyang’s character will be in close proximity, fully giving justice to his second male lead role. “As you can see, Riko and Jun will be closer to each other after Lei’s and Riko’s fall out. Of course, this will be brief as the latter couple will get back together,” she explained. “I just want the both of you to prepare yourselves. I know that the both of you have the least interaction throughout this series but you need to prepare… like, prepare,” she emphasized before adjourning the meeting, leaving you dazed. 

“After reading this script, I think Riko will fall harder for Jun than Lei,” you joked, already feeling the pressure as you saw a scene where you and Yangyang had to kiss. 

“Will you?” Yangyang asked, his tone was interrogating. 

You tilted your head, confused with what he meant, “Will I what, sunbaenim?”

But he just shrugged, telling you to prepare for tomorrow before leaving the office.

The ride on the way home was unusually quiet. 

“What do you think of him?” Your manager, Chenle, asked you.

“Of who?”

“Of Yangyang.”

You tried to think about what to say for a moment, “Well, he’s nice to me.” 

“That’s it?” Chenle glanced at you through the rearview mirror, one brow arched. “Nice? He’s Yangyang, Y/N. Everyone I heard who worked with him can’t get him out of their heads after.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning your head against the window. “He’s good at what he does. Professional. Maybe those people can’t separate work from their personal lives or whatever.”

“Professional, huh?” You can hear the smirk from Chenle’s tone.

“Just stop overthinking things, Chenle,” You sighed, dumping all of your body weight on the car seat. “Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day with him so you better not make any weird comments like whatever this conversation is.” “There’s nothing weird with the conversation we’re having, Y/N.” Chenle retorted, “I’m just hoping you could come to your senses tomorrow and do your best as an actress. You still have a lot to prove in the industry.”

“I know that.”

It’s tiring, honestly. For you, it’s a never ending quest of ‘proving’ yourself to the industry, general public, and your own family. It’s sad to think about how as a child, everyone was looking forward to your acting debut but once you did, all the nepotism news bombarded your career hence, you’re now known as the ‘nepo’ baby. 

You used to think of it as a positive thing, you never forgot to thank your parents in every interview for this opportunity as an actress because you know, since as a kid, that this is the path meant for you. It’s like you’re honoring them every chance you have but the public deemed it as ‘rubbing your nepotism face’ every chance you get. 

In the end, this whole issue got out of hand and you don’t mention your parents as much as you used to, even coming as close to declining films where they are starring in or in affiliation with in fear of the nepotism thing getting even bigger. 

The next day on set had this heavy atmosphere not usually there when it’s you and Sicheng filming. You think it’s probably with the revised script that got everyone on their edge because the crew were everywhere, ensuring all of the props and sets are nice and perfect for your shoot. 

It was also during this time that you realized the scene you’re about to do. 

It’s the middle part of Riko and Jun’s relationship where they kiss because they realized they love each other, only for a short period of time, and it ought to feel magical or else people would believe that Riko’s still in love with Lei and is using Jun but in the script, Riko’s in love with Jun, even if it’s just for a brief period. 

The director deemed it easier for the both of you to finish the hard scenes first before the others so as to ensure smooth filming in the later days of the schedule, considering that Yangyang and other actors in this series also has other schedules. 

“Relax,” Yangyang’s voice broke through your thoughts as you couldn’t shake your nerves.

First day with Yangyang as your character’s lover and you’re already about to kiss. What’s there to not be nervous about? 

He was leaning against the makeup station, dressed amazingly by his stylist. You think of his presence as effortless but right now, there’s a glint of something in his eyes–quiet yet intense. 

“I’m trying, sunbae,” you replied, turning to face him.

He stepped closer to where you are, lowering his voice so only you could hear. “You’re overthinking it, Y/N. It’s just a scene. We’re professionals, remember?” 

You nodded, but your hands were still trembling slightly. Yangyang saw your state and sighed. “Nepo babies,” he teased as he shook his head before giving you again a bottle of water. “Take a sip, madam. It will make you feel better.”

“I’m sorry for feeling nervous, sunbae.” You apologized as you took a sip from the water he gave you. “It’s just that… it’s my first kissing scene ever and I’m not familiar with the grounds for kissing in a scene.” you admitted. 

Yangyang’s smile was wide and charming as he listened to your confession, “Don’t worry, sunbae will guide you.”

It was show time and the director called you and Yangyang in for a brief summary again. 

“Look,” Yangyang said to catch your attention, “Think of this scene as an important moment for Jun and Riko. They came from heartbreaks and found comfort from each other,” he gave you an advice, “It’s like their enlightenment scene where they kiss and suddenly, all is well.”

You stared at him, trying to gauge what he had just said. “I’ll do my best,” you said shyly, offering him a small smile before walking to the center.

“I know you will,” Yangyang replied, his gummy smile returning. 

“Okay, lovebirds for a glimpse,” the director called. Lovebirds for a glimpse is you and Yangyang’s new nickname on set because of this RikoJun scene you’re doing. “Kiss your way!” was all she said before giving the both of you the cue. 

As the scene began, you convinced yourself that this isn’t about you. This is about Riko finding love again after what happened with Lei. This is her first kiss with someone who comforted her. And with that, you found yourself more at ease. 

Yangyang’s character approached yours, his eyes showed vulnerability and it almost felt too real when his orbs directly looked into yours. The lines flowing out of his mouth smoothly, as if he meant them. 

And when the moment came, when Jun leaned in and Riko didn’t pull away, it was like the rest of the world disappeared. 

The kiss was soft, hesitant, and lingering–exactly as it was supposed to be. Yangyang held your head with such gentleness while your hands found their way to his back, trying to get him closer to your body. 

You know it’s just pretend kissing but part of you wished it was real with the way Yangyang was holding you and your proximity, his warmth made you feel small in a way that is not condescending. He made you feel safe. 

When the two of you break the kiss, your eyes meet again. This time, you definitely went out of character as you looked at him deeply, fully portraying Riko’s yearning for him. Her ‘I found you’ moment. 

“Cut!” The director yelled ecstatically. “That was such a good scene!” 

You thanked the director while your mind was still in a daze as Yangyang gave you a small, reassuring nod–as if saying that you did well. You couldn’t help but give the actor a smile in return. 

As the crew buzzed around you again, you caught Chenle’s gaze from the sidelines. He raised a brow, smirking at your direction as if he knew something you didn’t. 

And maybe, he did. 

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Between the countless takes, script changes, and the director’s endless feedback, you barely had time to process anything. Except when Yangyang was in the same room as yours. You admire how his presence seems to fill every corner, tugging at your attention no matter how hard you try to focus on anything else. 

By the time you wrapped up for the day, your body ached from exhaustion, and all you wanted was to crawl into bed. At this time, you thoroughly expected a grumpy Chenle waiting for you in your dressing room but you were taken aback with what you got instead.

It was Yangyang, leaning against the wall near your dressing room, scrolling through his phone like he’s your boyfriend waiting for you to finish your shoot… you mean, what?

You hesitated to greet him but he looked up at you before you could even decide.

“Y/N,” he greeted, “Chenle’s out with Renjun. Figured I’ll wait for you instead, considering how late it is now.”

“Oh,” you mentally cursed your manager, your inner monologues filled with ‘How dare he’ and ‘How could he’. “It’s fine, sunbae. I can manage on my own.” 

Yangyang slipped his phone into his pocket, standing up straight in the process. “No, nepo baby. You’re gonna be with me until you enter the backdoor of your apartment.” 

You’re too tired to decline a persistent Yangyang that you just nodded before heading to the parking lot. “Long day,” you sighed, leaning into the car seat of Renjun’s van. 

“Tell me about it,” he responded as he started driving. 

You glanced at him, surprised, “I almost forgot! Aren’t you supposed to be staying for the night shoot?”

“Nah, Kun’s taking over because of changes again. Figured the director would have also preferred it that way,” he laughed as his hands smoothly maneuvered the steering wheel. 

You giggled at his response, “Sounds about right.” 

The two of you drove in an awkward silence for a while, the cold air conditioning of the van touches your body, making you shiver. 

“So,” he said eventually, looking at you for a brief period in his rearview mirror. “How’d it feel? The scene, I mean.”

You bit your lip, avoiding his brief glances at your place. “I don’t know,” you started, “It felt different… I don’t think I can find the right words to describe it right now, really.” 

You try to brush off his question with a laugh but you know deep inside your heart that you couldn’t just tell him you wished that the kiss was real. That you wish there was something more and that his glances at you earlier meant something. 

“But your advice did help a lot!” You tried changing the topic which you think was effective after he gave you a smug chuckle in return. 

“Told you.”

There was something easy about talking to him like this, away from the cameras and the crew and everything.

While driving, Yangyang made sure to take all the precautions he needed so as to not get caught with you in his manager’s van. Sure, he’s being friendly and acting like a dependable sunbae to you but he can’t afford being caught in a scandal, not with you. 

When you reached your destination, he made sure to contact the security to ensure no one was there before letting you go. 

“Thanks for earlier, sunbae! I don’t think I would’ve gotten through it without your reassurance.” 

He tilted his head, studying you for a moment before giving you a soft smile. “You would’ve been fine, with or without my advice. Give yourself some credit.” 

You stood frozen in the middle of your apartment’s parking lot at the sudden compliment. “Anyway, Y/N, get some good rest as tomorrow will be just as crazy as today.” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, “You too, sunbae, you too.”

By the time you reached your unit, you were surprised to see Chenle’s outdoor shoes in the entryway. 

“Yangyang said you’re out with Renjun,” your face turned sour at the sight of Chenle chilling on your sofa. “What a bad manager you are!”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. I left the restaurant earlier than Renjun.”

You didn’t mind what he said and went directly to your room to change. When you come back to your living room, he’s still in the same spot you left him a while ago. 

“What do you think of him now?” He asked again. This time, you already know who he was referring to. 

“He’s still fine and I still don’t understand why you’re doing this,” you rolled your eyes, joining him at your sofa. 

“He looks at you like you’re the lead of more than just the show, Y/N,” Chenle said slyly. 

“You’re overthinking things again, Chenle. Yangyang-sunbae is nice. I think we just have a good hoobae-sunbae relationship that’s why you’re acting like that,” you defended the actor. 

“I hope you’re right,” was all he said before placing all of his attention back to the television. 

At this point, you hope you’re right. 

It’s been a week since you spent time with Yangyang, filming the scenes for RikoJun and today, you guys are wrapping it all up–they’re gonna end their relationship and Lei will come back into the picture. 

“Missed me, Y/N?” Sicheng teased you. 

It’s also been a week since you last saw Sicheng, considering how busy he had gotten with his modelling gigs and sneaking out the pop star every night to his condominium. 

“You wish,” you retorted. 

“I heard you and Yangyang have a great chemistry,” he said again, his arms crossed to his chest.

“I like to think we do, too!” You gleefully replied, “His advice helped me a lot, especially during the heavy scenes we have together.”

Sicheng looked at you, “Mhm. I hope we still have that spark together after your time with him.”

Everyone on set was perplexed as to why Yangyang’s watching your scenes with Sicheng now, considering how he doesn’t have any upcoming shoots with you or with other actors of the drama today.

“Yang? Why are you here?” The director asked, completely puzzled to see the young man on set.

“Just wanna watch some of my colleagues, noona,” he showed off his gummy smile before proceeding to sit at the chair where the intern is supposed to sit. 

“Back off, Liu. The intern’s assigned there,” Hendery hissed, giving Yangyang a side eye before watching the younger one go away from the seat.

“Chill, Wong.” 

But Hendery didn’t give him any more attention, walking back to his van again to wait for the director’s orders. 

“Woah! What a tense situation you got there, Yang!” The director saw what happened, grinning ear to ear at Yangyang. 

“Shut up, noona. Why you gotta hire that man, anyways?”

“Well, he’s a good actor and he’s not rude to me,” 

“Whatever,” was all he said before looking for another seat to conquer.

After your shoot, you saw Yangyang outside your van, leaning against it while busying himself with his cellphone.

“Sunbae?” 

“Oh, Y/N. Already finished?” He asked, his eyes filled with joy as soon as he saw you in front of him. 

“Yeah. Why are you here, sunbae?” 

“N-nothing, Y/N. Have a great day.” 

You found it weird that Yangyang’s in front of your van yet left when you arrived but you didn’t divulge deep into the thought as your manager’s already waiting for you inside. 

“He was waiting for you,” Chenle told you the moment you sat on the leathered seat. “I thought he’s going to ask you out or something.”

“Please stop, Chenle. I know you like joking about stuff like that but he’s just a nice sunbae, that’s all!” 

“Drop the act, Y/N. I know you like him.”

This time, he’s right.

It started with the kiss scenes then the lovey-dovey shootings then came the drive-you-home extravaganza. Everything about Yangyang screams boyfriend for you. When he’d smile at you like you’re his most favorite thing in his world or when you’d be the only one he’d give techniques and advice on set, you knew what Chenle said about the man is right. 

At first, you were in-denial about it. Thinking that maybe you’re thinking this way about Yangyang because you can’t get your shit together and that you’re acting unprofessional. But, you know yourself. All this time, you are professional and diligent but his acts towards you aren't. 

Now, you’re here watching his character meet up with a new character the director added on a whim, saying something along the lines of ‘I’m sad Yangyang’s character didn’t have a partner.’

“Cut!” The director shouted, “That was a good run! Thank you, everyone!” 

The moment your eyes locked in with Yangyang, he immediately walked your way, not minding the new female character in his vicinity. 

“You were great out there,” you complimented. 

“Thanks,” he looked up before looking right into your eyes again, “But that’s just an act you know, what you saw earlier.”

“...I know?” You laughed. Of course, you know. You’re an actress for god’s sake!

“Just… saying,” he responded. “Anyways, are you free? Do you want to hangout with Sicheng and the rest?” 

You thought he’s about to ask you out on a date but Sicheng’s name flew out of his mouth and made your mood a bit down. 

“Sure, I’d love to,” you replied, opening your SMS app to message your manager about the said gathering.

You were about to sit beside Yangyang when the new actress beat you to it and told you to sit between Sicheng and Hendery. 

“It’s more fun if we sat beside our partners in the drama!” She suggested but you knew she just wanted to sit besides Yangyang. 

The table was tense, with the actress giving Yangyang a lot of food on his plate while you and the rest were quietly looking at the both of them. 

“I told Yangyang not to invite the newbie,” Hendery murmured. 

“Wouldn’t that be bad?” You asked, surprised he even talked to you. 

“So what? He could tell her I’m the one who suggested it.”

“That would be bad for you, then.”

“Everyone knows I’m bad. Much better for her to experience it sooner.’ 

You wanted to continue the conversation with Hendery more but he was clearly preoccupied with his ramen.

“That’s Hendery for you,” Sicheng smiled. “Here, get some of the beef I cooked.” 

“Thank you, Sicheng,” you thanked him as he put some cooked beef into your plate. 

From time to time, Yangyang kept on glancing at you while the new addition to the crew kept on pushing herself to the man. He was being uncomfortable because even though they rented a private section of this restaurant, rumors can still go and he can’t afford to have that. 

“He’s looking at you, Y/N,” Sicheng said, as if you hadn’t noticed it earlier. 

“I know, oppa. It feels weird.”

“Miss Y/N, you haven’t been touching your plate. Is everything alright?” Dejun asked rather loudly and everyone’s eyes on you now which made you feel small, especially when Yangyang’s gaze turned concerned. 

“Yes, Dejun-sunbae. I just feel full now,” you smiled at his direction which is a bit to the left whereas you were in the middle. 

“I’ll finish your food, Y/N. Give it to me,” Yangyang suddenly said, his right hand in your direction, waiting for you to give him your plate. 

“But–”

“Sicheng-ge, give me her plate,” you swear you could hear the newbie disagreeing with Yangyang but he didn’t mind.

Sicheng, being the biggest shipper of you and Yangyang, gladly followed the younger’s request. 

“Thank you, Yangyang-sunbae,” you said, eyes glinting with affection that everyone on the table didn’t miss. 

Of course, the both of you may not notice your deep fondness towards each other but everyone around you can feel it–they just don’t want to meddle with it. 

After everyone finished eating, you guys decided it would be better to part ways with each other and when the cast vanished into the busy streets of Seoul, you found yourself alone with Yangyang. 

“At last,” Yangyang jokingly said, nudging you playfully with his elbow while grinning from ear to ear. “At last, I can be with you alone!” 

Your heartbeat raced as you tried finding a reasonable response to him. “Don’t say that, sunbae!” 

“Why? Don’t you want to spend time with me?” 

“I like being with you, Yangyang-sunbae,” you responded, your tone was heartfelt but your execution was shy. 

Yangyang glanced at you for a while before forcing you to look back up at him, his fingers found your chin, racing it up so you could meet eye to eye. “I’ve been meaning to tell you this, Y/N.” 

“Mhm?” 

“You can stop calling me sunbae, you know,” he continued, “Just call me Yangyang, like everyone does.”

“But I don’t like calling you the way they do,” you argued, your lips forming a firm line. 

He just laughed at your stubbornness before ruffling your hair. 

“Okay, nepo baby. Just call me whatever you want,” he smiles at you genuinely, never getting tired of your little habits. 

“Okay, my dearest sunbae,” he laughs again this time but you truly meant what you had said. 

Sure, you might have other sunbae than him that you look up to and respect the most but none of them is Yangyang. None of them can make you feel the way he makes you feel. To you, he’s irreplaceable. 

Yangyang’s presence is a constant in your day as an actress. He’s always there, watching your scenes and cheering you on every chance he gets. He would also lean over your script, pointing out notes with an exaggerated seriousness that makes you not pay attention to him.

“You know, I could just ask the director,” you say, snatching the paper back.

“But I’m more fun,” he whines, leaning back with a pout. 

Then there are the quieter moments, like when you’re both reviewing scenes on his tablet, shoulder’s brushing as you sit close enough to share the screen. Or the way his hands would instinctively hand you a water bottle before you could even realize you’re thirsty. 

Or when he would always stay up late at night, waiting for you to wrap up your shoot before bidding you goodbye, watching you go inside your van before minding his own way home.

“Sunbae, you don’t have to wait for me everytime,” you say one evening as he lingers beside the director’s chair, watching you finish your last take for the day.

“And miss seeing you trip over your lines when you’re tired? No thanks,” he teased, flashing you a mischievous grin. 

You rolled your eyes at him, tossing a tissue towards his direction which he dodges with a dramatic flair. 

Moments like this have become the norm, not just to you but to everyone else. 

Everyone on set notices it. The way Yangyang’s eyes soften when he talks to you, the way your laughter is always louder in his presence. It’s in how he seems to move with you, like gravity itself pulls him into your orbit. 

“They’re so obvious,” the director complains jokingly. 

“Would you say anything, though?” Kun asked with a hushed tone, glancing at you both from across the room.

“Hell no.” 

To the crew, it’s an open secret that no one dares to talk about. To you and Yangyang, it’s just the way things are. 

And Chenle’s really worried for you.

You’re sitting in the dressing room, scrolling mindlessly on your phone while Chenle organizes your schedule for the following months. The buzzing voices and footsteps of the crew fades as you stand up for a while to close the door, creating a rare moment of peace and solitude in your otherwise hectic day, before sitting comfortably again. 

Chenle sets his laptop down on the table with a deliberate thud, breaking the comforting silence.

“We need to talk, Y/N,” he says, his tone filled with urgency.

You glance up, already sensing the shift in his usual sunny demeanor. “What is it this time?” You asked, trying to lift his mood up but it seems like your manager has no time for jokes or any of your ministrations. 

“It’s about Yangyang.”

You look at him puzzled, “What about him?” 

Chenle crossed his arms, his expression was stern. “Whatever’s going on between you two, it’s too much. Everyone on set sees it.” 

“So what if they do? People talk all the time,”you counter, feigning nonchalance, though your heartbeat races and you feel a knot tightening in your stomach. 

“This is serious, Y/N,” his tone now direct, “This isn’t just about people talking. You’re putting your reputation and his career at risk!” 

You roll your eyes at what he had said, leaning back in your chair. “Chenle, it’s not that serious. Even if something happens, my parents can fix it. They’ve done it before. Don’t worry.” 

“See? That’s exactly the problem Y/N,” he snaps, “You’re so used to your parents cleaning up after you that you don’t even see how dangerous this is for him,” you could tell his frustration is boiling over but you don’t seem to understand why he’s angry. “Sure, you can tell everyone how you’re so much more of your name or your parents. You can decline any movies or series with their name, but that action of yours. This action of yours is why people still think you’re a nepo baby.” 

Your eyebrows furrow, feeling confused. “I’m not doing anything wrong, Chenle. I’m sure Yangyang knows how to handle himself.”

“Does he?” Chenle laughs at your naivety. “Do you have any idea how hard he’s worked to get here? He doesn’t have the privilege of a safety net like you, Y/N,” he pauses for a moment, trying to catch his breath. “One scandal, one rumor, and everything he’s built is gone.”

You’re quiet for a moment. The weight of his words made you understand where he’s coming from but your response only deepened the rift. “Okay, fine. If it comes to that, I’ll handle it. My parents will definitely make sure nothing happens to him either. I’m sure of it.” 

Chenle was cynical after hearing what you have just said. “You don’t get it, do you? This isn’t about who your parents can pay off. It’s about respect. Respect for his work, his sacrifices, his entire life!” 

Outside the door, Yangyang stands frozen, his hand stuck on the knob. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on you and Chenle’s conversation, he just wanted to hang out with you today but instead, he got to hear your careless and out of touch words, making his chest tighten. 

He hears Chenle’s voice lower, ultimately giving off the vibes that he’s intensely irritated at what you have said. “You’re so caught up in thinking everything will be fine because it always is for you. But for him? It’s not. And if you really care about him, you’d stop pretending this isn’t a big deal. Stop whatever is going on with you two, Y/N.” 

Yangyang doesn’t want to hear anymore of what you guys are talking about. His stomach churns as he walks away, Chenle’s words and your indifference playing over and over in his head.

The ride home was quiet but not the quiet you wanted to have with Chenle. You genuinely can’t understand why he’s so exasperated with you when you’re just telling the truth. You can’t seem to find the problem with your parents paying off tabloids and threatening news agencies to keep the rumors about you and Yangyang out of the public eye.

And maybe, just maybe, the reason why you can’t find the problem with what you have said is because you’d never truly had to worry about the consequences of your actions. For you, it was simple: if things went wrong, you had the means to make it right.

“Chenle,” you finally broke the silence, your voice softer now. “I didn’t mean to upset you earlier. I thought I was being practical, you know? Looking out for everyone… I don’t know. Maybe I’ve missed something.” 

Chenle’s hand tightened around the steering wheel of the van and you could see the tension in his shoulders. “It’s not just about you, Y/N,” he said, “It’s about Yangyang too. You have no idea how much risk he had put out on himself just so you could be close with him the way you are with him now. How he’d probably be in his bed every night, thinking when or where news would break out about you two but still continue to act like your lover day by day. You have no idea how much he’s risked for you and here you are, thinking everything can be handled with a few phone calls from your parents.” 

His words stung more now, the sharpness of them cutting through your confusion. You tried to open your mouth to speak but nothing came out. This time, you knew Chenle was right. You have no idea. 

“Do you really think this is just a game for him, Y/N?” Chenle continued, “I know, it’s partly my fault for letting him drive you home that night and for not giving you a heads up but I didn’t think it could go deeper. I didn’t think it could end up like this.”

“It’s not your fault, Chenle. I just… I just didn’t think of it like that,” you murmured, your voice almost too quiet for him to hear. “I just thought that… that it’s the way things work for me. I didn’t realize our situation could put him in a worse situation than me.” 

Chenle’s expression softened at your confession, “I know you didn’t. But that’s why I need you to start seeing it from his side. From his perspective. This isn’t about what you can fix or what you think you can get away with.”

Betrayed is an understatement of how Yangyang feels right now. Hearing Chenle’s frustration and your clueless words earlier made his heart twist uncomfortably. Just when he thought everything was okay. Just when he thought it was okay to let his guard down for you. You just had to let him feel different from you. 

“What are you going to do, Yang?” Renjun asked, sighing as he saw his talent leaning against the window of his car. He had heard about you and your manager’s dispute from Yangyang. The young man was already on the verge of crying when Renjun calmed him down, even just for a moment.

“I knew we shouldn’t have gone that far into whatever we had, ge.” 

“I’m sure Y/N had her reasons as to why she said those things, Yang,” Renjun tried to save you from Yangyang but he knew it’s no use. 

Knowing Yangyang, Renjun’s too sure that the boy will completely distance himself from you, considering how he just realized how dangerous it is for him to fall for someone like you. 

“No, ge. This has to stop. Whatever this is. Chenle’s right. Even if I hadn’t heard her talking with her manager, I can’t let things go that far, ge. I have a career to uphold,” Yangyang sighed, “What would the public think if they learned about us? It’s so scary.”

“You’re overthinking again. Try to talk things with her tomorrow, maybe it’ll clear your mind.”

Tomorrow came and Yangyang dreaded it the most. You, on the other hand, are oblivious to the fact that your potential significant other potentially heard your conflict with Chenle last night. 

“Yang-sunbae!” You greeted, still clueless. 

With you greeting him with a huge smile that could cure the world, Yangyang wished he hadn’t heard what you had said yesterday. Yangyang wished this could go on. Yangyang wished you guys were just ordinary people. 

“I heard your conversation with Chenle,” he wasted no time. Yangyang spoke to you with the coldest tone he could muster but his insides were shaking. 

“Hm?” You were confused. 

What conversation with Chenle? You thought. 

Oh. You realized. 

Oh.

“Must be nice for you, huh? To not be worried about your career because your parents can clean your mess up,” his words cut you like a knife. He swore to himself to become calm once you met him but Yangyang felt overwhelmed. 

“What are you-” you couldn’t even continue what you were about to say because he interrupted you again, his disappointment in you evident in his eyes.

“I like you, Y/N.”

Those were the words you hoped Yangyang would one day say to you but his tone wasn’t the way to put it. You felt no butterflies in your stomach because you know this is not the confession where the both of you would end up together. More like a confession where you’d end up alone. 

“I like you too, Yangyang-sunbae,” you try. You hoped that he would calm down. That this revelation of feelings would soothe him and make him realize that everything is okay. That he’d realize you’re ready to risk everything for him.

But deep down, you know you’re just a fool for even confessing. 

Yangyang shook his head, “I like you, Y/N,” he repeated, “But we should stop. Your manager is right. What we have right now shouldn’t continue. We’re not allowed to be like this,” his voice cracks at the end of his sentence. 

A confession and a closure at the same dialogue? Yangyang is the only one who could do that.

“Yang…” but he didn’t respond. You look at his figure walking out of the set. 

You cried at where he had left you. You look like a fool there, with the director coming at your direction, completely confused as to why Yangyang left so suddenly and why you were left there, sobbing. 

“No amount of public hate could make me hurt the way his words did,” you cry at the director’s shoulder. You were almost shaking. 

It was your first ever rejection you have received your whole life. Sure, some individuals do not accept you in this field but his rejection of you was personal. 

“Why’d you do that to her?” Yangyang found it surprising that Hendery was the one to ask him why. Out of all the people in the set, this young and rude man was the first one to ask him why. 

“She can’t understand me or my situation. She can never understand it,” Yangyang just replied as he brought the cigarette to his lips, inhaling deeply as smoke curled up in the air. 

“You should have known that from the start, considering she’s a product of nepotism,” Hendery replied. Him, too, lighting up his own cig. 

“She’s more than what the public thinks of her,” Yangyang argued, “But, I think I have overestimated her.” 

Yangyang didn’t mean to leave you crying, he felt hurt himself. When he saw you earlier, memories of yesterday flooded his mind, overwhelming him and causing him to say whatever came to mind in that moment.

He was terrified that he would become nothing once the news about you two broke. The thought of a dating scandal uprooting all the sacrifices he had made for his career filled him with dread. In truth, he was afraid of you.

From the first time he saw you at the read-throughs, he sensed something about you could destroy him. Still, he tried until all that remained was the painful realization that you couldn’t be with him.

Hendery didn’t respond to Yangyang anymore. Instead, he just stood there while Yangyang found himself sitting with his truth in silence, grappling with the weight of his emotions. It was just him, Hendery, and the unspoken fears that lingered between you two, a reminder of what could never be.

“I know this is bad timing but the editing team accidentally deleted a kissing scene from Riko and Jun and now–” the director was frantic, almost worried for you and Yangyang but Kun calmed her down.

“Breathe,” he said, patting the back of the director to soothe her.

“Thank you,” she smiled before continuing, “I need the two of you to get your act together and film this one, just one, scene again.”

Yangyang didn’t reply, as if he’s distracted with something. You, on the other hand, gave the director a small nod. 

It was the day after the confession-closure thing and you kinda accepted to yourself that while he has become wary with you, you’re still willing to accept him. Even if it takes a lifetime. 

“Good morning, sunbae!” You gave him your best, energetic smile but he just gave you a nod. 

“At least, he acknowledged you,” Sicheng’s makeup artist felt bad for you so she tried to cheer you up. 

“Okay, Y/N and Yangyang! Give us your best shot!” The director calls, you breathe deeply before looking straight into Yangyang’s, you mean, Jun’s eyes. 

Be professional, Y/N! You scold yourself.

Yangyang immediately dives into the kissing scene, leaving you no room to mentally prepare for it. 

The kiss was fierce and desperate. You feel as if you’re trying to consume each other, pouring all your unspoken words and pent-up feelings into this single moment.

Your hands find their way to his hair, pulling him closer as if afraid he might disappear. He responds by deepening the kiss, his hands gripping your waist tightly, grounding you both in this whirlwind of passion.

It’s as if you guys weren’t Riko and Jun. The pretend kiss was extremely intense, everyone on set felt that it was genuine than it was supposed to be. But the director liked it. 

“Cut!” The director shouted and Yangyang was quick enough to detach himself from you. “That was a good one-take!”

You weren’t able to respond because Yangyang was already leading you to a secluded place.

“Hey! Wait!” You try to make him stop, “The director’s not finished talking, sunbae.”

Once he deems it’s safe enough, he looks at you before sighing deeply. He leans into you, kissing you for real this time. 

Yangyang doesn’t know if this is your first kiss but you don’t care at all. You close your eyes, feeling the moment. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he says, breathless.

“I should be the one apologizing, sunbae.”

Yangyang inhales, looking straight into your eyes, “It’s just… it’s just I’m afraid to disappoint them, Y/N. My fans. The public. I don’t like the way they’d paint me if we’re revealed.” 

“It’s okay, really. At least, you told me now,” you give him a half smile. 

In that instant, you realize how much you’re willing to risk for him. You were so easy to forgive him that you’d already forgotten what he had made you feel yesterday. But there’s this thought that has been eating you since then… that Yangyang’s not ready to risk what you’re ready to give him. 

“Look,” you were determined to make this right. “I know it’s complicated but–” 

He shakes his head harshly, cutting you off. “No, Y/N. You don’t understand this ‘complicated’ you’re talking about. I like you, Y/N. I genuinely, deeply fell for you but I can’t afford to risk my career or put you in danger of being even more hated by the general public.” 

“Yangyang-sunbae,” your voice was trembling but you still gave him a forced smile, “We can still be friends, you know?” You don’t want to be friends with him but if that’s the only way to keep him around, you’re willing. 

“No, Y/N. We can’t be friends.” 

“Why not?” You plead, desperate for him to explain whatever he has on his mind because he’s been puzzling you since earlier. 

“Because I like you more than friends do,” he admits, his voice betraying him again. 

The confession sends a rush of emotions through you, “So what does this mean for us?”

“It means…” He hesitates again, his brow furrowing, knowing that whatever comes out of his mouth next will change his relationship with you. “It means I have to lose you to protect you.”

The words hit you like a punch to the face. You want to scream that it’s not fair, that love shouldn’t come with conditions or sacrifices, but only a shaky breath left your lips.

“Yangyang-sunbae,” you say softly, stepping closer again despite the chasm between your desires and his fears. “I don’t want to lose you.”

He looks at you then, really looks at you, and for a fleeting moment, it feels like time stands still. In those gaze of his lies everything unspoken: the love that burns fiercely but is overpowered by his fear.

“I wish things were different,” he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion.

You reach out, fingers brushing against his hand, wishing for him to reconsider. But deep down, you know he’s already made up his mind.

“It’s premiere day!” The director gleamed. 

“Sicheng, you ready?” You ask your lead partner.

“Ask yourself first if you’re ready,” he replied. And he’s right about it, considering how this is the first time you’re going to see Yangyang again after your closure. 

The venue was filled with energy, cameras flashing from left to right, fans cheering for every cast member, and the buzz of excitement filling every corner of the room. You take a deep breath before diving in with Sicheng at the stage, reminding yourself of the work you had put into this series. 

The lights were blinding you and Sicheng and you can’t even hear the cheers of your fans with your heart thumping incredibly loud and fast. As you pose for photos, your eyes can’t help but wander to Yangyang. And when you did? Your heart almost dropped.

Yangyang looked dapper in his suit, standing with his partner in the drama as well as the other cast members. He catches your gaze for a second before continuing to smile at the cameras pointed at him. You can’t help but feel a pang in your chest. 

You mean, what’s the point of looking that good if there’s a distance between the both of you?

After the dashing and successful premiere of Eternal Sunshine, you find yourself at the after-party where only the crew and the cast were invited. 

The atmosphere was celebratory, filled with laughter and clinking of glasses. Heck, you even heard someone say that this drama is going to be a hit and that you deeply hope. But your mind wanders to Yangyang, sitting at the side with Hendery, exchanging small talks with the man every once in a while. 

You don’t know what came to you at that exact moment but you can’t help yourself. Your feet found its way towards an unsuspecting Yangyang. 

You first greeted Hendery, who even though feels the atmosphere didn’t need his presence there, didn’t give a single care and continued to eat. 

“Y/N,” Yangyang greeted you first.

“Hey,” you smile softly at him before leaning to his level, whispering, “I just want you to know that I’ll wait for your love, Yang.” 

It was the first time Yangyang had heard you call him without honorifics, making him flustered and shocked. He was about to respond to you but you shushed him, walking towards the area where the director is to talk with her. 

You know that there’s no need for further explanation because deep down inside, you're resolute: you’ll absolutely wait for his love. You like this man deeply, more than words can explain, and no matter how long it takes you're willing to endure it all for him.

COMING UP NEXT. “Yeah, but it’s so weird because you can feel the tension and I think it’d be even weirder now because they’re wrapping up the first season and Ten has to get the interesting bits while the makeup artist has to make sure Sicheng is the interesting bit.”

[brucewaynehater101]

I come again w/ another Tim Drake au!!

So there's this fanfic "If We Could Only Utter the Words Left Unsaid" by TaintedCure on AO3

And now I wanna share an idea

TW for suicide because of Timothy + death-fueled-time-travel

Basically, whenever somebody kills Tim, they go back in time, and there's no limit to how many times he can die. they go back far enough to prevent his death or not do an attempt on his life

He dies during Titans Tower? Back in time you go Jason!

Cut his line and he broke his neck and died? Damian is now back in time!

Some goon cracked his skull too well? Say hello to the past bucko!

Hell, even accidental murders still register so if you were to accidentally push him off too high a ledge you're getting the Time Travel Treatment

Hey maybe Tim still is aware of his time travel powers, but only when it comes to natural causes (like hypothermia) or suicides, so as a result he thinks he knows it all when he in fact doesn't

So yeah, unless somebody spills, Tim is clueless to the whole truth of his powers

I imagine only old age would do him in at this rate

It'd be like real interesting to see all the POVs, especially if they think they know all the loops

Like there's Tim who's regularly exploited his powers to get perfect results but is trying to convince himself he isn't being too frivolous with his life since he's saving lives or making them better

Then there's the people who did him in and may or may not even be aware that the time travel they experiences was because they killed the Third Robin or got him killed

Then there's the people who've done him in maybe one, twice or multiple times and have clocked into the fact that murdering Tim is an exercise in futility

TW: suicide (powers revolving traveling time by dying), violence/abuse (skip the angst if you don't want the second one), and death.

Now, this is a very interesting concept, and I'm probably gonna get lost in the setup for a bit.

The way that Tim's powers work would have to be defined really well. How far back can he go? In the fic you mentioned, he has a save point, basically. He can die an infinite amount of times, but he'll only return to his save point unless he reaches past the OG time he died. He can play around as much as he wants between the savepoint and his death, but a new savepoint gets set up after he passes his OG death time. It also indicated a decrease in time he went back (or his savepoint was established) so that he'll eventually die for good if he kept using his powers. That solves a lot of continuity issues.

However, the setup for Tim's powers could be like SSS-Class Suicide Hunter. For those who aren't familiar, the MC revives 24 hours in the past. He ends up killing himself thousands of times to end up at least a decade in the past. It's been a while since I've read it, but that's the basics of it.

If we're working off of those rules, anyone who kills Tim is only working with 24 hours in the past. You can add more or less time to fit your AU better.

I have some questions about the setup. You mentioned that the person who kills Tim would get sent back without his knowledge. Therefore, in Tim's mind, has he never been murdered? Or, is it a two for one ride into the past? Does the villain get sent back into the past, but Tim doesn't know the past has been changed? Or does Tim get sent back as well, but he doesn't know the villain is also sent back?

Imma get into the angst in a bit if Tim doesn't get sent back into the past when he gets murdered.

However, the issue with this is fucking with the timestream. If a goon kills Tim, ends up 24 hours in the past, and past Tim kills himself within those 24 hours, what the hell is the timeline? Does the goon still get sent back in time? Does Tim get sent back, and then, when the goon is supposed to, his consciousness gets sent back during that time? Does Tim killing himself wipe out the goon being able to travel back in time?

Continously, I assume if villains found out about the power, they would gun for Red Robin with prejudice because they know they'll get a cheat that way. They get a ticket to the past if they kill the bird. They get a redo.

Alright. Angst time!

~~

Bruce is the first one to find out about Tim's power. He's training with Tim when, as per usual, he takes it a bit too far. The man has a habit of not pulling his punches in a fucked up version of trying to push Tim away from being Robin. This time, when he punches Tim, the kid doesn't get up. It's a wonder he didn't hear the awful crack or notice Tim's neck wasn't quite right. Only not recieving an answer after berating Tim about not getting up causes Bruce to pause. He doesn't hear breathing.

Oh gods. He doesn't hear breathing. Is Tim dead? Did he kill Tim? Did he break his nec-

Bruce snaps to attention mid lecture to Robin. They are both in the cave (not on the training mats not on the mats not on the mats), and it seems the exact same as it was yesterday when he was yelling at Tim about proper batarang maintenance.

Tim, ever the observant Robin, leans forward as if to ask if Batman was okay. Bruce flinches back.

Tim's eyes widen in shock as he takes a step back. In the year or so he's worked with Bruce, he's never gotten that response to initating touch. Tim's eyes flicker down to his hand in recrimination and puzzlement.

Bruce takes a shaky breath in before dismissing Tim for the night. The child is hesitant to flee but follows the request.

Bruce doesn't know what happened and he's not sure he wants to find out.

This cues Bruce being kinder to Tim and less harsh. The detective figures out that Tim has a time traveling power upon death, but it appears as if Tim isn't aware of it (he doesn't know that Tim constantly kills himself for better results in field). Tim never finds out that Bruce's change in behavior to him was born of guilt. He never learns that his dad killed him.

~~

Next angst!

Two concepts with Jason.

One, Jason creates a fucked up timeloop with Titan's Tower where he kills Tim over and over again in fucked up ways until he satiates his desire for bloodlust. If Tim is still aware of the Tower incident, that's because Jason wanted him to be. Whether Jason becomes guilty about this timeloop he created or not could also be explored. There is a fic out there kind of similar to this concept (timeloop Titan's Tower, not the added element of Tim's powers).

Two, Bruce does end up killing Jason in the showdown with the Joker. He batarang slices Jason's neck, the building blows up, and Jason never emerges. There's a few ways to add on top of this angst. If Titan's Tower happened before this (and Tim was left beaten), that means Tim chose to kill himself to save Jason. Jason will never know. That, or Titan's Tower happens afterwards and Jason tortures Tim not knowing the teen saved him from a second death at the hands of his father (ironically Tim also doesn't know that he's been killed by Bruce).

~~

Last Angst!

Damian finds out about Tim's power and abuses it constantly. He's a kid that was raised to be an assassin and found someone he can kill that also gives him the benefit of getting away with anything. As long as the kill goes through, he's golden.

Eventually, Damian starts to slow down on this. He doesn't really want to see Drake choking on blood again.

He one day finds that he hasn't tried to kill Drake in months and he doesn't really want to try to.

Then he finds that list.

Then he cuts Drake's line.

Then he has to relive those 24 hours again knowing he killed someone he was starting to trust.

Bonus angst if Tim finds out, jokingly asks his family members how many times they have killed them, and finds out Dick is the only one who hasn't (Tim killed himself after the 16th birthday incident and he somewhat blames Alfred for that, though he'll never tell him).

[flo-zoinks]

How would the gang react if you reveal ur a time traveler

Okily dokily!!!!

HOW EACH RDR2 GNG MEMBER WOULD REACT TO YOU BEING A TIME-TRAVELER (MY OPINION)

This is VERY vague. So I'm going to imagine this scenario you're from 1920 USA with lots of inside info on the vld gang cuz theres more I can do w that lol, and a person similar to John in terms of age/likeness/physicality. Imagine this is aprx chap 2.

Arthur - probably not have many questions really, just ask you why you'd come to this time of all times (he thinks you're stupid)

Hosea - only asks if John finally left with his family, and if everything actually does fall to bits. Doesn't really care for asking how he dies himself - In fact he doesn't want you to tell him

Dutch - Immediately asks if he dies for an ideal, or if he becomes someone of great reverence post mortem. When he doesn't like the answer he says he can't be kept by the lines society has decided for him so will disobey and flee "like Cain was once he was shun"

Reverend - says you're either deep in substances or have demons in you. Insists you must be a satanic lunatic and leaves with his head up. Later drunk he reveals he worries you're real and asks if God ever gives him a chance

Pearson - "heh...lemme guess...I'm in the books..ain't I?" "Ok you're lying though"

Sadie - asks when she will die and see Jake, and (if before this) asks if she gets to avenge his death

Charles - questions only on the land, and if the colonists finally destroy all of it by then, and on behalf of the natives. Otherwise tells you he's not interested in what will be otherwise

Micah - knows he's in the history books, so just walks off trying to be nonchalant. "Then I guess you know who I am.." (hes really close and breathing quite loudly)

Abigail - forgets herself to bombard you with questions about Jack and John, if they ever move away, if Jack grows up proper and they live till old. She starts sobbing after

Jack (1907) - wants to know if he becomes a writer, then whilst embarrassed quietly asks if his Father stays for real this time. Later tells you about a book he read with a similar premise. Your answer makes him quiet and hee doesnt speak for a while

John - Can't even think of what to ask, so just says like "ok- do-" then says he'll get back to you when he has something good to ask. Later: "wait-wait I got a good one... (some stupid question about future inventions)"

Trelawny - "I am a magician, too! I suppose we are both similar as such.." however he gets too freaked out and goes back to his family for a while

Javier - IMMEDIATELY only wants to know about the Mexican Revolution; was it successful? Did his family live? Does he return to Mexico? He refuses to believe your answer about him in Mexico in 1911 working for the government, insisting he would never pick that over his own life. Refuses to believe John would be the one to kill him, too. Angrily storms off after threatening you if you spit lies like that again (even if you proved to him ur fr)

Bill - gets scared of you thinking you have some other powers too, but then tries to toughen up and look unafraid. Demands, asks to know if becomes respected and feared in the future. Air punches when he hears he runs his own gang, then just looks straight up HURT hearing John kills him (trying to mask it) "But why wouldn't we be friends?"

Uncle - "you should be well aware then...of when the Lumbago gets to me.. where in the history books is that?"

Molly - quietly asks if everyone grows to like her (very embarrassed). She gets silent after your answer and goes to sit far away in camp for a while. Dutch later says to you that "you better not have put her in some mood"

Karen - says shes too sober for this, promptly grabs a drink and tells you she doesn't have anything to ask, but wishes she did. Avoids you afterwards fearing she was too open with you then.

Tilly - asks if she has a run-in with the foreman boys again. Otherwise then that she asks what cool things have been invented since

Mary-Beth - fascinated by future books, and asks if you have a novel from the future you could show her. She doesn't believe she could ever be a writer so doesn't ask.

Grimshaw - thinks you're a freak for coming here, saying "we are doing just fine! She does inquire about her girls though, if they all do well. She grows very strict with Karen there on, but also nicer

Sean - "do I become the big dog of the camp? Replace ol' king Arthur? Hahaha" a string of random questions , giving you no time to answer each one. He actually walks off before you can answer them thinking of more questions

Lenny - starts thinking if its okay to know about the future before responding, if theres no consequences, or if we as people should be able to. Decides he's better safe then sorry, and asks camp to be responsible. Dutch and him debate this

Kieran - asks if they finally accept him, and if the O'Driscolls come back. Grows very anxious at your response and spends the day cleaning the horses whilst trying to gather his thoughts to act upon.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I woke up on the weird side of the bed today so, yeah. I don't usually write like this. But change is the spice of life, right? I read this as many times as I could to make sure I got everything. If I missed anything that should say "he", "him" or "Mikey", please let me know! I initially didn't know who I was going to make this about and I may not have caught all of those things. Thanks!!

C/W ::: Mikey (Tok_Rev) x F.reader/roommate, language, pillow licking & sniffing, dirty day-old boxer fucking, masturbation, lip biting (vvv brief mention of blood), oral F->M & M->F, quick deepthroating, anal, fingers->ass, names: slut, whore, little fuck, pet names: good girl, F->begging, "gonna punish you again if you ...", overuse of italics

WC ::: 2,100 (ish)

You walk out of your room, sleep still heavy in your eyes. Mikey is in the kitchen, pouring himself a 2nd cup of coffee. "Hey," you say releasing a big yawn, "pour me one? Please?"

He looks up and smiles at you, taking in your cute, soft body stretching the material of your worn old band shirt. The writing on the front is so illegible that you can't even see who the hell the band was to begin with. It hugs you perfectly, they think.

"Sure." He reaches out to the shelf in front of him and pulls down a cup to fill for you. You're already pulling the creamer from the fridge, probably giving them a fair view of your ass in your cute little panties. If they were looking, that is.

But there's no shame between roommates, no. You're both mature adults who can maintain a platonic relationship with one another.

"Thanks," is all you say as you stir the milky white flavoring into the dark liquid. You take a sip and wince at how hot it is against your tongue. "Fuck, is that a new coffee maker? It's hot as shit. Could have warned me, man."

You start heading back to your room, but then stop. "What uh, what time will you be home today?" It's a seemingly innocuous question. Though it strikes Mikey as odd. You never really ask when he'll be home.

"Why? You gonna have a big party while I'm out?" He jokes.

Blinking at them with a blank stare you fake a laugh. "Ha, yeah. You know me. I'm a party animal. Anyway, when?"

Mikey narrows his eyes, "I dunno. Around 5? Same as always. I gotta run. I'll see you." Hes pick up his backpack and coffee and heads out the door. You hear his bike start and pull out onto the street until it gets so quiet you can no longer could make out its rumble.

Glancing at the clock on the wall above the kitchen table, it's 7:40 AM. You have all day before he comes home. Finishing your coffee, you walk down the hallway and stand in front of his door.

There is a voice screaming in your head about how you need to stop doing this. How it's a complete violation of Mikey's privacy - and not to mention, just pretty fucking disgusting. But you can't.

You can't stop climbing into his bed after he leaves for the day. You can't stop burying your face in his pillow while you rub yourself on his most recently worn pair of boxers. Mikey's scent has far exceeded intoxicating to you by this point. And though you can't even remember how long you've been doing this, you do know that it's been happening for too fucking long.

Lately, you've even caught yourself slipping up. Talking about something you saw in his room that you don't think you were even supposed to be aware of.

There's not a doubt in your mind, you need to stop. But first, you need to be more careful.

However, today is not that day. You turn the knob on his door and help yourself to the bed as if it were your very own. His room still smells of that heavy sleep smell. Morning breath and man sweat and BO. And it doesn't turn you off like it probably should. Nah, it turns you on in the sickest way.

You pull the blanket back and see the outline of his body imprinted on the sheets. It's still warm from when he was there not so long ago. You take your clothes off and lay there, imagining him. Imagining that he is still here, in bed with you. That he is holding you and that he wants to fuck you just as badly as you want to fuck him and not his stuff.

You grab his pillow and shove your nose into it, taking in his scent as close to the source as you could get without swallowing him whole. There's a little splop of drool on his dark gray pillowcase and you lick at it. Anything at this point to have a piece of him inside of you.

You begin to rub your clit. It's already wet and thrumming at the thought of him. Of his smell in your nose, his spit on your tongue. You keen as you get yourself closer and closer to cumming. You can feel it building in your belly, you're getting so close.

Your breaths are coming quicker, your tits are jiggling as you bounce yourself around on your fingers - that will never measure up to what his cock would feel like being fucked into your cunt. You bite your lip and you taste blood, but you don't care.

You cum hard, harder than you have in months. You're moaning his name over and over and over, wishing he was here to fuck you like you want him to. Like you NEED him to.

And you hear the front door as it opens. You hear Mikey's voice call out to you and it all comes crashing down.

"Hey, I forgot something, just ran back to gr-" he says, until he walks into his bedroom. "Y/n, what ... the ... fuck ... are you ... doing?"

You scramble to cover yourself as you try to make up some excuse for why you were in here. But it's too late. You know it is.

"You sick, sick, little fuck."

"I - I - I - I ..." you stutter out, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"The actual fuck do you think you're doing in here? In my bed." Mikey looks at what's between your legs, "and my boxers?"

You get up, pulling on your clothes as quickly as you can. Your hands are shaking and your heart is racing. You don't know what to say or do, so you just leave.

You walk passed him, to go, you feel a hand come down on your ass. "You fucked up, big time. And now? You're gonna fuckin' fix it." He gestures for you to go back to their bed. "Go on. Slut."

You do as you're told, hoping he won't kill you after what you'd just been caught doing. And as you watch Mikey take his clothes off, you realize that this might not be going the way you expected it to. But it might be easier if he did just kill you.

"Knees." He orders.

"What?"

He raises an eyebrow at you, "Fucking. Knees."

You obey and drop to your knees, your face level with his dick. "Suck."

Without saying a word, he opens your mouth and shoves himself in. Mikey grabs the back of your head and pulls you forward, making you gag. And he doesn't care. You deserve it for being such a little slut.

He fucks your mouth, thrusting his hips into your face, slapping his balls against your chin, until he pushes you off. "Up."

You do as you're told. "Face the bed. Bend over."

Again, you do as you're told. You feel him spread your ass and rub his cock against you. You can feel it pulsing between your cheeks. "Please. Please ..." You say softly.

"You don't deserve mercy, you little whore. Unless you're begging for something else? What'd you have in mind, hm? You gonna make this up to me? You fucking pervert."

You can't see it, but Mikey is smiling at your exposed cunt. It's dripping wet and begging to be filled. He spit on his hand and rubbed it on his dick before spitting on his fingers and rubbing it around your asshole.

He pushes two fingers into you, slowly, while rubbing your clit with his other hand. Mikey pumps his fingers in and out of you, stretching you open. You moan and whimper at the feeling of fingers inside of you, at the sensation of being touched like this.

"Fuck me, please. Fuck me. I want to feel you inside of me. I've wanted it for so long." You whimper. You sound so pitiful but can't help yourself.

Mikey laughs at how pathetic you sound. He pulls his fingers out and spreads your ass again. "Beg for it. Beg ... for my cock, slut."

You feel him press the head of his dick against your hole. It's throbbing and you're about ready to explode. "Please! Please fuck me!"

Mikey eases his cock into you slowly. You gasp at the feeling of it stretching you open. It hurts ... but it's so fucking good. He thrusts into you hard and fast, filling you up and fucking you like the little whore you both know you are.

Mikey grunts and moans as he pounds your ass. You can feel him getting close as he pulls out of you and cums all over your back. It drips down between your cheeks and onto the floor. "If you were a good girl, I'd have cum inside of you. But here we are," he whispered against your skin.

He smacks your ass and you feel his hands gripping your hips tightly. "Turn around. Lay down."

You do as you're told and lay down on your back. He climbs on top of you and straddles your hips. "Open." Mikey says, grabbing your jaw.

He spits on your tongue, "Swallow."

You swallow his spit. "Good girl. Now, let's see, ultimately, just how good you can be."

He grabs your tits and squeezes them, pinching your nipples and pulling on them, assaulting your chest, leaving marks and bruises. You moan and arch your back, loving the feeling of his weight on you. The attention he's finally giving you.

Mikey kisses and licks and bites his way down to your pussy and buries his face between your legs. His tongue wandered around on your clit and he put a finger in your pussy, making you squirm.

He pulled back and smiled, "You like that? Don't you, you little slut?"

You nod your head and whimper, "Yes."

Chuckling, he spits on your clit and rubs it with the pad of his thumb. He starts lapping at your cunt so feverishly that it sounds like a dog drinking water from a bowl. Licking and sucking and biting at your clit so dedicatedly that you feel yourself getting closer to another orgasm.

"Please, please, please let me cum. Let me cum," you beg him.

Mikey looks up at you, his face soaked from your juices, "You want to cum? You want me ... to make you cum?"

You nod your head furiously, "Yes, yes, yes."

"Did you not? Earlier, I mean. Because your pussy was pretty fucking wet when I walked in."

You whimper and shake your head, "No, not like this. Not with you."

He smiles, "You're such a little fuck, you know that?"

You furrow your brow as he starts to rub your clit again. He sucks on your tits, making you writhe beneath him. He's biting and nipping at your sensitive skin. It's the most exquisite pain you've ever felt.

"Do you want to cum now, baby girl?" He asks, as he rubs your clit, harder and faster. Faster and harder.

You moan and nod your head, "Y-yeh-hess, please! Please, please."

He smirks at you and stops touching you all at once. "You gonna stop breakin' into my room and fuckin' my dirty clothes?"

The question caught you off guard. Fucking his day-old boxers was the furthest thing from your mind right now. "Wh-wha -"

He starts in rubbing your clit again, even faster and harder than before, "I asked you a fucking question."

"Yes! Yes, I'll stop! I'll ... I promise to stop, Mikey."

He smiles at you and keeps rubbing your clit until you feel that warm, bubbling feeling in your stomach again. "Cum for me, baby girl."

You twist and turn beneath him as you cum. Your pussy clenches around nothing as he keeps rubbing you until you feel like you can't take it anymore.

As you come down, he looks at you and gives you a sly smile. "Good. You wanna be a good girl for me, huh?"

You nod your head. "Yes. Yes. Yes ... I'll be so good for you."

Mikey chuckles, "You better be. Or else."

He gives you a long kiss on the forehead and stands up. "I'm going back to work. Don't do anything stupid. I'll be home in a few hours."

You lay there, naked and spent, unable to even think about doing anything but sleep. "Yes, sir." You say softly.

Mikey walks out of his room and goes back to work, leaving you in a state of blissful exhaustion.

"Wait," you call out, "what if I can't be good for you? What if I just ... can't stop?"

He turns and looks at you, a calm look on his sweet face. "Well, I guess you'll just have to learn your lesson all over again, won't you?"

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @viburnt

[leftoverbriocheloaf]

Going to say number 4 for the fic snippit thing

(honeslty impressive how many wips you have)

Oooooh I'm v excited for this one in particular

Here's the snippet, and I'll post more about the au at the bottom!!

“Solved it!”

Edgar freezes, his train of thought entirely cut off as he turns to his competitor. He doesn't notice the files slip out of his hands, fluttering to the ground. That's… impossible. There was barely enough time to look at the clues individually, much less solve the case. He can't be telling the truth. A voice in the back of his mind urges Edgar to look back at the papers, to ignore the man who had to be lying and solve the case and win. But he finds himself frozen, his eyes glued to the detective standing only meters away.

“It was easy, really,” the man starts, shrugging. His shawl flutters with the movement, and his glasses reflect the harsh fluorescent lights beating down on them both. “It was supposed to be a suicide, but she messed up the steps. The killer, her boyfriend, found her dying in a suuuuper painful way, and he knew the only way to help her was to end her suffering. That’s why there wasn’t a struggle.”

The man gestures flippantly as he talks, pushing up his glasses every few movements, and Edgar can only watch in growing disbelief and horror as he talks about which files and what seemingly innocuous blood spatters led him to his decision. He sounds bored, as if he were doing them a favor by explaining his thought process. It makes Edgar's blood boil.

When the man ends his tirade, the room is silent. Edgar can’t help but think that he must be a performer; he weaves a story with the barest of threads and tells it like undeniable truth, leaving the audience hanging on to his every word.

“H– How?” Edgar is the first to speak, his mouth moving before his mind can figure out whether it wants the answer or not. It’s a quiet question, barely loud enough for even him to hear. Even still, the man turns to him with a self-satisfied grin.

“How?” he repeats, his smile wide as he opens his eyes, which are startlingly green even behind his glasses. “I’m the greatest detective in the world! It's obvious to someone like me.”

The man's gaze burns. Edgar feels it crawl under his skin, and he’s sure in that moment that even if he scratched down his very bones, it wouldn’t disappear. Shame spreads like a brand along his spine, creeping up his neck and burning behind his eyes. He bites his tongue to avoid embarrassing himself further, but a fiery pain lingers, dotting across his shoulder blades like pin pricks. 

Vaguely, Edgar hears the judge stand, shock in his voice as he offers congratulations to–

“The first place winner, Ranpo Edogawa!”

-------------

Basically this is a soulmate au where the first time you speak to your soulmate, an image (kind of like a tattoo?) is branded on some portion of your body. It can be an animal or just smth that resonates with them, like a flower or item. But Edgar thinks that the pain that comes with its formation (bc the image literally burns itself onto some people) is just a manifestation of his anger, so he deludes himself into thinking that if he kills Ranpo, it will stop hurting

(Really, the problem is that his hatred is so ingrained that his "brand" can't heal and become what it's supposed to be)

But this one is definitely going to be an angstier one, because I'm trying to write some more heavy fics to contrast a lot of my fluffier stuff (but tbh I always end up w fluffy stuff anyway so,,) but the crux of it is Edgar letting himself heal, even if its a VERY bumpy road

I love soulmate aus, and this is one I thought of randomly and HAD to write lmfao, and kudos to you if you read this far!! Ty for the ask @hemlocksweetcandy <3333

(and thank you aslkdjs I live in a WIP prison of my own making)

[yourmidnightlover]

timeless - ch. 2

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

series summary: you, bucky and steve were the best of friends growing up. what happens when you're assigned to be a war nurse for the 107th? what happens when bucky finds himself 70 years later with scattered memories of the girl who brought him so much comfort? will your love for each other remain after all of the pain you've been put through? will your love for each other remain timeless?

chapter summary: this chapter is set during civil war when bucky and steve are reunited.

warnings: classing mcu violence, guns, mention of headshots (of the other supersoldiers from HYDRA), death, HYDRA talk, talk of assassins, please let me know if i've missed anything!

w/c: 2.1k+

a/n: hiii! i've missed writing so so much but i've finally finished the second chapter of this series! i'm so excited for it and already have so much planned. it's loosly accurate, but it definitely goes off course with the actual plot the mcu has. so THIS IS NOT CANON. i am making some of it up, mostly towards the end and bits and pieces about the reader being involved in anything. this chapter ALSO doesn't have reader in it because this part is largely the development of how they realize that reader is still alive... you'll understand once you begin reading. anywho, i hope you lovely people enjoy reading!

<- chapter 1 ~ chapter 3 ->

“which bucky am i talking to?” steve chided bucky as his arm remained in a vice. his voice remind still and steady as if his emotions hadn’t been the victim of intense whiplash from trying to get his old pal back.

“your mom’s name is sarah,” he had what almost seemed like a grin as he continued, “you used to wear newspaper in your shoes.” 

“can’t read that in a museum,” he tilted his head with an almost grimace, recalling the days when he was a few feet shorter and far less invincible. 

“wh-just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?” sam questioned incredulously, reasonably so. sam had no reason to trust bucky. he was never once his best friend. he didn’t know the lengths bucky and steve used to go to to protect one another. 

“what did i do?” bucky could tell by sam’s reaction that yet another bad deed had occurred at his hand, the one that he wasn’t even born with.

“enough.”

“oh god,” bucky sighed as he threw his head back. “i knew this would happen. everything HYDRA put inside me is still there… all he had to do is say the goddamn words,” bucky’s face filled with self-hatred that was all too familiar.

“who was he?” 

steve knew bucky would understand who he was talking about. hell, the man knew his trigger words, bucky wishes he knew who the fuck he was. it pained him that after years of not knowing who he was, being used as a mere object for a terrible agenda, he finally escaped… only to be used once more by a complete stranger.

“i don’t know.”

“people are dead,” steve leveled with bucky as if he wasn’t aware of the magnitude this all has come to. “the bombing, the setup, the doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you. i need you to do better than ‘i don’t know.’”

“he-he wanted to know about siberia, where i was kept,” bucky recalled. “he wanted to know exactly where.”

“why would he need to know that?” 

“because i’m not the only winter soldier.”

“what?” sam was in disbelief, his voice going into a higher pitch than steve had probably eer heard. 

“but, steve,” bucky was confused about what he was even supposed to say, how to say what he needed to. hell, he didn’t even know exactly what he knew. “my memories, they’re coming back all… jumbled. it’s like i remember pieces before the fall and then some when i was under HYDRA’s control and i can’t tell which is which. it’s like they’re getting all confused.”

“buck, what’re you trying to say here?” steve wanted bucky to tell him whatever it was he needed to, they had other pressing matters to get to the bottom of.

“you remember y/n, right?”

“how could i forget?” he smiled fondly. “she-she died, though? back when-”

“that’s what i thought too,” bucky shook his head. “but i keep seeing her in the memories with HYDRA. not from the war, not from brooklyn, it’s distinctly HYDRA, but i don’t know how much of my memories i can trust.”

steve took a step back from bucky, trying to analyze what he was implying. trying to decipher what it meant if HYDRA had taken you for all this time too. that means you must have the serum in your veins as well, but how? 

were you being used like bucky in all of HYDRA’s plans? this was all so confusing to him, bucky too. 

“who’s y/n?” sam asked, his arms thrown up in utter bewilderment. 

“she was our best friend,” steve filled in for bucky after a pause, the man clearly not able to accurately describe what you were to him. “she meant a lot to us, but we thought she died back in the war…”

“so that’s not the case? i’m assuming, based on cyborg here?” sam motioned to bucky, clearly confused as to how many people seem to come back to life or survive far past their expiration date here. 

“do you know if she’s still in siberia?” 

“after a while, the i stopped seeing the people in siberia. but i remember being with her a lot more… i don’t know what she did for HYDRA, but i don’t think she’s there,” bucky couldn’t look at steve as he tried to explain where his best friend was. 

“if she’s not there, then HYDRA surely isn’t doing anything good to her in your absence.”

“that’s what i’m most worried about.”

“those other soldiers… who were they?” steve wondered

“their most elite death squad. more kills than anyone in HYDRA history, and that was before the serum.”

“they all turn out like you?” sam sassed.

“worse.”

“the doctor, could he control them?”

“enough.”

steve shook his head, perplexed as he added, “said he wanted to see an empire fall.”

“with these guys he could do it. they speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. they can take a whole country down in one night and you’d never see them coming.”

“this would’ve been a lot easier a week ago,” sam mentions primarily to steve.

“if we call tony…” 

“no, he won’t believe us,” sam cut steve’s idea short.

“even if he did-”

“who knows if the accords would let him.”

steve sighed, his head low as if he had been defeated, “we’re on our own.”

“maybe not,” sam had a sly smirk on as he finished, “i know a guy.”

-

after meeting with sharon carter, an easy fight with most of the avengers, and hijacking the quinjet, steve and bucky were on their own, hurtling towards siberia and a few of the world’s best unknown assassins.

bucky didn’t understand why he couldn’t pinpoint where he had known you from. all he can tell is that you were practically everywhere. because of that, part of him thinks you might’ve just been a figment of his imagination, creating a sense of comfort from one of the only people he’s ever truly cared about in the midst of his pain and the chaos HYDRA forced him to impose on the innocent. 

but if that were the case, then shouldn’t he recall more of steve as well? 

“what’s gonna happen to your friends?” bucky asked, hoping the people who put their necks on the line for him, for his best friend, would be alright. 

“whatever it is…” steve shook his head with a heavy heart. “i’ll deal with it.”

all bucky could think about was the pain of the last 70 years, but not his own. he was thinking of all the memories he’s had surface already of him harming those who didn’t deserve it, as if anyone deserved for their lives to be taken. 

“i’m don’t know if i’m worth all this, steve,” he shook his head adamantly.

“what you did all those years…” he looked thoughtfully before turning slightly to face bucky. “it wasn’t you. you didn’t have a choice.”

“i know, but i did it.”

-

once they landed atop the mountain, they went to the back to unload a few weapons and headed inside the already open door. 

“he can’t have been here a couple hours.”

“long enough to wake ‘em up,” bucky tilted his head with a grimace, not knowing if he selfishy hoped you were there or hoped you weren’t included in the infamous group of th world’s best assassins.

heading further down the corridor, they come face to face with the one, the only, iron man.

tony heads towards steve and retracts his helmet to greet the men. “you seem a little defensive,” he gestures towards bucky, who’s gun remained aimed at the red-suited man. 

“it’s been a long day,” steve sighed to try and reason with tony, thinking he was here to take him and his fugitive pal in for good.

“at ease, soldier. i’m not currently after you,” tony stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

bucky was still confused, watching the two men interact and trying to figure out his place in their conversation, but opting to simply observe and keep his gun raised in defense.

“then why’re you here,” steve asked the question bucky was also wondering, himself.

“could be your story’s not so crazy… maybe,” tony rolled his eyes as he continued. “ross has no idea i’m here, so i’d like to keep it that way.otherwise, i gotta arrest myself…” he trailed off on that note.

“well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork,” steve finally lowered his shield. “it’s good to see you, tony,” he addressed the man after figuring out it wasn’t ‘iron man’ coming to him. it was only tony.

“you too, cap,” his attention was brought to bucky after noticing his weapon was still ready to fire, pointed right at him. “hey, manchurian candidate, you’re killing me. there’s a truce here,” tony motioned to himself and steve to emphasize his point. “you can lower…” steve signalled for bucky to loer his weapon, so he did. 

the three continued their way into the bunker, trying to be ready for whatever was awaiting them. 

“i got heat signatures,” tony said after scanning the room.

“how many?”

“uh… one,” with that, the three enter the room. 

hazy yellowed lights flickered on as a speaker began to crackle to life. looking around, the soldiers were still secure in their capsules, but the only one they could see clearly had a bullet straight through their head.

“if it’s any comfort, they died in their sleep,” they recognized zemo’s voice over the speaker. bucky looked in the other capsules, ensuring your corpse wasn’t in any of the capsules. “did you really think i wanted more of you?” zemo scoffed.

“what the hell?” bucky was confused at the actions of the man before him. if he didn’t want to control some of the stronged people in the world, what did he want from killing them?

“i’m grateful to them though, they brought you here,” he chuckled slyly as the other men rolled their eyes and huffed at his secrecy. steve had launched his shield at the booth that zemo was in, only for it to come ricocheting back towards him. “please, captain. the soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets.”

“i’m betting i could beat that,” tony piped in, raising his hand, ready to shoot beams through the glass. 

“oh, i’m sure you could, mr. stark, given time,” he nodded in agreement, leaving tony to lower his hand in bewilderment. “but then you’d never know why you came.”

“you killed innocent people in vienna just to bring us here?” 

“i thought about nothing else for over a year. i studied you. i followed you,” he was droning on and on about how dedicated he had been. “but now that you're standing here, i just realized . . . there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes. how nice to find a flaw,” it was mockery for him to stand there as if he had superiority.

“you’re sokovian, is that what this is about?” steve simply wanted answers from the man who was only speaking in puzzles.

“sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. no. i'm here because i made a promise.”

“you lost someone?” steve filled in the blanks that zemo clearly had no intention of confessing.

“i lost everyone,” he made eye contact with bucky before he continued, “and i think you’ll be thrilled to know that you haven’t lost everyone, yet.”

“you know where she is, don’t you?” bucky strode towards the glass that was protecting zemo. “where the hell is she?!” his fist slammed against the glass. 

“now, now,” he rose his hands and gestured for bucky to calm down. “that’s no way to get information out of someone, although, i guess that never was your specialty, was it?” 

“did you do something to her?” his voice was a low growl. “i swear to god if you touched a hair on her head-!” 

“i didn’t do anything to her, yet, mr. barnes,” he continued to patronize the man. 

“buck,” steve placed his hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. “he wants you to react. he wants to upset you. don’t give him what he wants.”

bucky turns to face steve, “if he knows where she is-”

“we’ll find her on our own,” steve nodded, trying to get bucky to remain calm. “we don’t need him to manipulate us to get things figured out.”

“look, icicle,” tony chided in, “i’ll use all of my resources to help find this girl of yours - whoever she is.”

tags:

@cjand10

@coldheartedmar

[fangirls-fanfiction]

Chapter Thirteen :D

Story below undercut:

Somehow, she only made the situation worse.

Her and her damn temper.

Pushing her paperwork aside, the Devil folded her arms over her desk, hiding her face in them. It'd been weeks and still she regretted ever yelling at Dice, even taking the show away from her for one failure.

It never bothered her to punish those who couldn't handle her standards. They weren't worth her time if they couldn't obey a simple order. But as always, Queen Dice had wormed her way into the Devil's heart and her feelings and even her damn thoughts.

It tugged at the demon's heart strings what their relationship had become. Just when she thought she'd found a friend, someone other than Henchwoman to talk to— She had to ruin it. She couldn't even blame it on Dice for any reason, it was her own doing, thinking they had anything besides that fall of fear between them. Now Queen Dice hated her and she couldn't blame her.

It had been eons since she'd felt like this; this complete isolation. The utter lack of motivation to cause any problems on purpose. No other mortal had managed to force their way into the Devil's heart like Dice had. Not one.

By the Hellfires, just 'forgetting about it' was so hard!

She sat up quickly at the sound of her office phone ringing. Furrowing her eyebrows, she answered it with a scoff;

"Lucifer's office."

"Good morning, Boss."

The Devil perked up at the voice, her tail tapping against her leg as it wagged. Curling the phone cord around her finger, she smiled.

"Dicey, Darling! How... How are you...?"

"Since you fired me from my show...?"

The Devil's gaze fell as she bit her lip in regret.

"I suppose..."

"I'm doing well. But that's not really why I called. I mean, it kinda, sorta is but..." Queen Dice rambled.

"Stop stalling. I'm a very busy demon and I've got things to do. Where are you calling from anyways? You usually just come into my office to talk."

"Uhm... Well... It seemed more convenient to just call you rather than go to your office from where I'm at."

"And where would that be?"

"My apartment?"

Blinking, the Devil furrowed her eyebrows.

"But... But you had a room down here in Hell." The Queen of the underworld frowned.

"Well... Yeah... But... But fans were starting to wonder ask questions and I keep up that kinda lie forever... I think I fit in better up here anyway, being a mortal and all."

"What do you mean 'fit in better'?!"

"Because... Because I'm a mortal...? And living mortals don't live in Hell? But this apartment is nice, you should come by sometime— "

"I will not be coming by at anytime!"

"Yeesh, what's got you all worked up?"

"What's got me worked up is you leaving and not even telling me!" The Devil snapped.

"I didn't think it would matter so much."

"Y— Yeah... W— Well... It does!"

"Are you worried about me moving up here or something?"

The Devil fell silent; concern was far from it. It was the total lack of respect. The sheer gull to dare leave without so much as mentioning it to her. The fact that she was just brushed off this casually.

And maybe she was a little worried.

"Oh my gosh..." Queen Dice chuckled. "You are worried about me!"

"... What?"

"It's ok, Boss, you know I'll always respect you— "

"Dice... In terms of thin ice, you might as well be in hot water."

"What does that even mean?"

"I'm not concerned about you," The Devil went on. "I'm just offended that you left without even a goodbye."

"I'm not leaving, I'm just living somewhere else."

"I don't care! Just drop it! If I want to hear your stupid voice, I'll call you."

"But I didn't even get to ask my question— "

With that, the demon hung up her phone, pushing it aside and burying her face in her arms again. It was like Dice didn't even care about her anymore. Perhaps she'd grown bored of the Devil, only working for her just to pacify her and only because she had to through her contract. That damn contract. If only she hadn't made that stupid transaction none of this would've happened.

She wouldn't have met Dice.

She wouldn't have started feeling this way toward Dice.

And of course, most importantly, she wouldn't have kissed Dice.

There was a painful sting in the demon's heart. As agonizing as the thought was, she'd often think about how it felt when the woman kissed her. Dice being so close to her, wishing she could just hold onto that moment forever.

She despised how vulnerable it made her feel.

Setting her head up slightly, she glanced at her phone.

'Maybe I should call her back?'

The thought crossed her mind, the demon sitting up straight and reaching for the phone for a moment before she came to her senses.

Panicking, she grabbed her telephone, throwing it at the door as it opened.

"Boss? Is... Is everything ok...?" Henchwoman asked, cowering slightly.

"Perfect. Just peachy."

"D'uhm... I know what'll make you feel better..." The imp held up a plate. "Breakfast...?"

"I'm not hungry," The Devil leaned back in her chair. "You can have it."

"Oh boy! Thanks Boss!" Henchwoman started on her way out. "Oh by the way, Boss, Miss Dice called and asked for a Hellevator to her apartment so she'll be down shortly."

"What?"

"I guess she needed to talk to you." The imp continued for the door.

"Henchwoman," The Devil rose from her desk. "Tell me you told her no."

Henchwoman turned around, wearing a rather strained smile.

"Henchwoman."

"D'uhm... I figured since you two were so close, you wouldn't mind."

"'Close'? What do you mean, 'close'?"

"Well... You're always talking about her."

"Wh— I do not!"

"Em... You kinda do, Boss..."

"Henchwoman!"

"Hey, it's nuttin to be ashamed of, Miss Dice is impossible not to talk about."

Growing impatient with her dear loyal companion, the Devil let out a growl and pounded her fists on the desk.

"Henchwoman. I don't wish to continue this conversation further." She snapped. "You're free to go, enjoy your breakfast."

"Yes, ma'am."

The door clicked behind Henchwoman, the Devil melting down back into her seat and laying her face in her arms.

Damn Queen Dice.

Damn stupid, pretty Queen Dice.

She wasn't always talking about Dice! It wasn't like she was constantly wondering how she was or what she was doing or—

Or any of that stuff.

Henchwoman didn't know what she was talking about, she acted as if Lucifer was obsessed with Queen Dice. Which most definitely wasn't the case.

The door opened again, the Devil sitting up straight in her seat. She wore her usual surly frown as Dice walked in, the woman stopping short.

"Are you still upset with me...?" The woman asked, adjusting the cuffs of her jacket uncomfortably.

The demon continued to glare, Queen Dice taking a cautious step forward.

"So... Boss, about my question..." She went on.

Rolling her eyes, the Devil redirected her attention to her desk drawers as she listened. It wasn't worth arguing with Dice. It never was when she was so insistent.

Opening a drawer, she went through her stash of cigars and lit one with a snap of her fingers.

"I was wondering if you'd be open to hearing about my ideas for what else I could do around here in Hell. I've got tons of ideas!" Queen Dice said.

"Oh, because your carnival idea worked sooo well." Sarcasm hung on the demon's words.

"Ok, first of all, that wasn't my fault; it was that rotten little girl. And I swear I wasn't trying to fail you on 'Roll the Dice'!" Dice said. "The game is impossible to lose! The girl just... I... I dunno what happened or how— "

"I don't want to discuss this further, Dice," The Devil snapped. "I told you I'd give you one last chance and you ruined it."

"But— "

"No buts! I wouldn't want you to go to waste though, you're too talented for that. You'll have to warn back my trust." The Queen of Hell leaned back in her chair.

"And how can I do that?" Queen Dice crossed her arms.

"I'll think of something." The Devil shrugged. "I'll see you later, Dice." She waved her off.

"Seriously?!" Queen Dice asked.

The Queen of Hell blinked, surprised by Dice's sudden outburst.

"What?"

"You! You're so..." Queen Dice scoffed, crossing her arms.

"I'm what, Dice? Tell me." The Devil shot right back at her, burning out her cigar in the ash tray.

"You're so infuriating, Boss."

"Ohhh, I'm infuriating?" The demon smirked. "Tell me, Dice, how am I infuriating?"

"You act like you care about me, then suddenly you don't, then you do again, then you go completely off your rocker and refuse to talk to me— I don't understand... Wh— What am I doing wrong?"

"Dice..." Lucifer gripped the bridge of her nose, slouching in her chair.

"What?"

"Look... I'm sorry, ok? Happy?"

Queen Dice glared at the other, mumbling something as she turned around.

"Hmm, what was that?"

"Nothing."

"You said something?"

"I said, nothing, Boss."

"Dice." The Devil stood from her seat. "As your Boss, I order you to tell me."

"Do you even care about me?" Queen Dice whipped around.

"Wh— What...?"

"Answer me truthfully, Boss. No tricks. No running away. No lying. Do you even care about me?"

"Dice... I..."

The woman raised an eyebrow.

She couldn't tell Dice the truth. Never! Who knows how she'd react to find out about how her Boss truly felt about her. How she felt about their relationship.

Yet, she knew lying would only make it worse.

Nervously holding her hands to her chest, she backed away a couple steps, being blocked by her chair. Seeing her trident just out of the corner of her her eye, she thought about running for it, but she was told not to. She had no choice.

But since when did Duce tell her what to do? The Devil was her Boss.

Backing up a few steps, she reached for her trident, preparing to run for it. Upon turning to glance back at Queen Dice, she stopped, looking into those green eyes.

Scratching the back of her neck, the Devil took a deep breath, preparing to tell Queen Dice the truth.

"Listen... Uhm... Dice..." She approached the woman. "You... You want the truth...? I... I can tell you the truth... Yeah..."

"Are you just stalling?" Queen Dice snapped.

"No!— N... No... I'm not stalling... I don't stall."

Dice didn't say anything, but rolled her eyes.

"Just uhm... I'm just thinking of the best way to tell you..."

"Uh—Huh..."

The demon placed her hands on the woman's shoulders.

"Dice I... I..."

How exactly was she going to tell Dice this? Especially when she didn't know how she'd react. Who knows how Dice would take this, especially since the last time they'd admitted any kind of feelings towards each other, Dice just told her to 'forget about it.'

"Would... Would you be mad if I tell you the truth...?"

Queen Dice sighed, shrugging the demon's hands off her shoulders.

"If this is so hard for you, then just forget it."

Turning of her heel, Dice left the office, slamming the door shut behind her.

Holding her hands to her chest, the Queen of Hell slumped back to her desk, slowly sitting back down.

"I do care about you, Dice..." She sniffed, laying her face in her arms again. "I really do."

[senbons]

i saw a comment on ur fic about how we (ur humble followers) didn't really expect u to actually do an anal sex scene and i want u to kno that i also didnt believe it and honestly didnt see it w ur shikatema (where theyre such equals and she, usually, directs the sex). i didn't see how it could happen. but ur fic completely blew me away. i never thought it could be sexy without being fake (like porn) and it felt totally real. i guess im not asking a question (care to comment? lol) but just writing to let u kno it was important for me to read and ty for all the work u do for us

Hahahahaha it's so funny that that's true. I was serious! It was part of initial impetus (my desire to try writing it) for this story! I also feel like I would have wanted to read an anal sex story (i read a lot of gay ffn, but never a heterosexual, woman-receiving story) that captured a good experience and wasn't, as you said, porn-y. It's not just "easy and feels amazing". It takes a lot of time and patience and, for me, feels great, but isn't something I orgasm from (unlike in porn). And it takes a lot of trust in your partner (if you want it to be good). <- I'm not here to advocate for butt stuff and I know most readers probably have way way more experience in sex than me, but that's kind of where i was. I think I would've had a better experience the first time I did it if I'd read about it first in a genuine way (more than just google searching).

But the original comment was interesting and I thought about it a lot. It can definitely be degrading to women, and it was completely necessary that Temari be the one to propose it. Not him! And it needed to go slow with lots of consent and growing into full-blown penile penetration slowly.

Also (and another comment brought this up) it's also supposed to genuinely push how far their relationship has gone.

I imagine it being something she has always wanted to try (I think she's the type of person to never want to "not" be in-the-know... and so solely as a sexual exercise, she would want to try it). But would never have been close enough with a partner to do it. And if men proposed it, for the most part, I imagine she'd go "fuck you, you can't fuck me in my ass unless I can peg yours" on principle. And then with him she feels like she can take these steps when it comes to sex (and can show that vulnerability and trust that is, in a way, disguised by the sex... she can show it and receive it from him without saying anything explicitly about her feelings. yeah okay maybe anal sex is just a *diSGuIse* for her *fEEliNgS*).

anyway this is for sure the most vulnerable we've seen her since she asked for sex in the first place.

[avonsdrabbles]

Hi! I seem to have rambled on to your blog

Weird question! How did you get into (if you ever did) examining and taking apart literature?

For us it's Merlin BBC cuz nothing new has come out for it in over a decade. It's 5 seasons long but at some point you just run out of content but yk, still wanting to talk about it we started drawing on narrative themes picking apart and inspecting the dialogue to figure out each character's intention. I'm glad to say it held up really well

& we're asking people whom have interacted with the degree that forces literature upon you how they started cuz it's interesting

On ask? On my main? It's more likely than you'd think--

Anyways, hi, love the snakes, love the planet, love the ask! It's unsurprisingly a little complicated for me, so bear with me.

I knew I liked English in middle school, but that wasn't dissecting text, that was writing. But that's where a love for language formed, and I started writing more and more. Back then, tho, I HATED dissecting literature, because it felt so pointless. "What did the author mean by this?" I don't know, I can't ask them, Margie! Ugh.

But then, I had the worst English teacher in my entire life in high school. She was, simply put, batshit. She rambled on and on about how fairies were going to take her soul and stole kids things, how cameras were the work of the devil and could also take your soul, how English would heal people's souls...

Really obsessed with souls ngl. Bit weird.

Anyways -- she was god awful. And she changed the curriculum multiple times so we could read what she wanted. The year I was supposed to read Romeo and Juliet, we read Midsummer Nights Dream instead. And by god, everything this woman said pissed me the fuck off. SHE FOCUSED ON THE IMABS? IMABIC PENTAMETERS???? I'm sorry, woman, can we discuss the puns here?! Can we discuss the authorial context of Shakespeare making this play within a play something commoners could enjoy while mocking nobility and the scandals at play, while (sorry, foaming at the mouth in rage and lust over literature).

Needless to say, I dove straight in. I'm one of the lucky ones who could understand Shakespeare without trying. It didn't take any energy on my part to parse the iambs, and I found a lot of beauty in the poetic nature of it all.

The next year, I was ready to fight, but I promptly had the best English teacher of my entire life, the one who taught me more about teaching than anyone else, and who I cite as the reason I became an English teacher. And she really fucking opened my eyes to the intricacies of subjectiveness in English. See, I'm a very stubborn person, and I'm very my-way-or-the-highway. I used to be very mathmatically inclined because there's only one right answer. Sure, you can get that answer a lot of different ways, but only one thing is right. English frustrated me because it seemed like I could say any fucking bullshit and have someone nod and say "Profound."

This is the teacher that taught me that's a feature, not a bug.

Through a little something called Waiting For Godot.

It is, by far, the worst play I've read. It's also my favorite. What sort of 10th grader gets to read an analysis of God that features pet play BDSM? THIS one. (This was also outside of the standard curriculum, but it was the end of the year, so all bets were off I guess).

This was the play where we dove in, read it, and without any discussion of the play, had to write an essay about the theme the author was presenting. All of us felt so lost. The symbolism didn't make any sense. There seemed to be no theme, beyond maybe "Waiting for someone who will never come is painful."

And then, the day before we had to write the essay... We had a substitute, following her lesson plans, and he was one of my favorite SEIAs (special ed instructional assistants). He was the exact same level of batshit as I am.

He SLAMMED his hand on the whiteboard, stared at us as we looked back in shock, and screamed, "ABORTION." He then went into a 40 minute diatribe about how the author of the text was very clearly explaining pro-life VS pro-choice mentality, leaning pro-life, but conversely making a pro-choice argument through the use of the discussion of Christian free will. He used sources. He used text evidence. By the end of the talk, all of us were nodding, clapping, acknowledging that he HAD to be correct!

And he stopped, stared at us, and laughed. "That was all bullshit."

He'd pulled it all out of his ass. And it made perfect sense to us all.

That's when I figured out that literature is what YOU make of it. Literature is all about interpretation; sure, there's tropes to follow that help guide our interpretations, but at the end of the day, words mean whatever you think they mean.

THAT'S what got me into lit analysis.

(And, oddly, homestuck)

[felix-the-lemon-king]

SHIP BINGO UM UM UM how about azuriddle anndd um jadesilver and um um um um floriddle? and yknow what jaderiddle also bc all the other fish boys got a turn with riddle fjlsdjflj make it EQUAL give me ur THOUGHTS!!!

YEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO I was already making a FloRid bingo board the second I saw it LOL

AZURID

THEY'RE SO FUNNY AND SWEET WAAHHHH I joke that they are awful for each other but they could ALSO very very easily be the best thing to happen to each other and I love it, they're adorable little guys.. their relationship status is ALL OVER THE PLACE lol MAYBE they will get it together,, eventually 😭 (bottom right says "it was one-sided madness at first sight" do I have to say which one was the one-sided madness. Do I. Do I have to.)

JADESIL

THEY'RE SO GOOFY!!!!!!!!!!! I love this silly pairing so much omg. Floyd is the one saying they are horrible for each other because, you see, Floyd has few enough canon interactions with Silver that I can pretend, in my mind, that he has a simmering hatred for him (that Silver is 100% unaware of) just because he indulges Jade's mushroom hobby and because of the Annoying Good Boy Vibes That You Can't Even Bully In A Satisfying Way LOL!! I think they are Romeo & Juliet Part 2 Electric Boogaloo both bc Silver has FAILED the Floyd pass 🚫🚫🚫 and also bc Jade has automatically failed the Sebek pass by Being Human(? They count beast boys and fish boys as humans I DON'T GET IT BUT WHATEVER) however. I don't know how Lilia would feel about Jade dating Silver(???? Are they even dating. Or are they just homoerotically talking about mushrooms with Silver occasionally getting poisoned by Jade (also homoerotically) for fun. These are life's greatest questions) BECAUSE Jade always Finds A Way to ensure that in as many situations as he can squeeze into, he WILL indulge Lilia's awful cooking and together they WILL give all of NRC food poisoning. Would Lilia let him date(??) Silver.............. We may never know 😔 <- I should have circled the essay box LOL I'm still not even done. They are very fun and I was reading the enemies to lovers to friends ect box like 🤔 god wouldn't it be so funny if they had that dynamic JDGDJHDHSH neither of them have the ENERGY to Be A Hater, let alone Be A Hater And Then Fall In Love And Then Fall Out Of Love And Then So On And So On LOL!!

FLORID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have such a soft spot for this ship. It's a classic 😌 to Riddle they are enemies to friends to lovers to exes to friends ect. To Floyd, that is just the funny red guy he bullies (affectionately!!!!! Probably!!!!!!!!!!!!) 🥰 I didn't circle the romeo & juliet box bc while Floyd would NOT🚫🚫🚫 pass the Riddle's Mom Test, Riddle is smashing it out of the ball park w all of octavinelle and also would probably do the same for their mob boss parents GSHSJSHSGJSJA

JADERID

FUNNY BOYS I have a complicated relationship with this ship bc after all the convos we've had about Riddle's Union Birthday AU With Baby Brother Jade, I kind of prefer that ridiculousness over their ship JSHDJSGDJAJ that's his baby brother who he is Definitely Going To Fix For Sure And There Are No Problems With This Plan <- that said their ship is still so goofy on its own like how did this HAPPEN!!!! Riddle you are supposed to hate fish how have you let it come this far. Jade has FOOLED HIM!!!! Bamboozled into Dating A Fish 😔 I have it circled as a crack ship bc the only situations I come up with for this ship are SILLY ONES and that is the best 😌 also did not circle the romeo and juliet box bc Riddle is once again smashing ALL THE WAY OUTTA THE PARK AND ACROSS THE MAP OF TWISTED WONDERLAND with Jade's family and ALSO Jade would,, PROBABLY,,, pass the Riddle's Mom Test,,,,, for being a Polite And Kind Gentleman,,,,,,,,,, (she, too, has been BAMBOOZLED BY THE FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope Jade rearranges her silverware drawer while she isn't looking hehehehhehehehe)

[minmin-pal]

im just gonna nab that "dead man's questions" and stick it in between watching part 4 and 5, kinda gives me vibes of like spy secrecy type stuff lol and ngl i was about to search it up automatically but i'm glad i refrained from it now. so the plot follows a character whose passed away? is it some type of flashback or maybe an 'afterlife/ghost' adventure? i don't know which or if either are right so i'm just pulling stuff outta my guessing hat lol

i might just have to accept this inevitable heartbreak either way tbh, just watching characters go on an adventure, have fun, develop and just generally live makes it very hard not to get attached though ig that just comes with the viewing experience. the 'waiting for them to bring the person back' bit is so real though, ngl i always end up forwarding and end up ruining a series for me because "when is this character getting brought back???", to the point i end up not paying attention to the rest of the series lol(/lh) though i'll make sure to not do that when watching jjba :D W series fr

and oh! you've watched naruto? you said the 'original naruto' so i'm gonna go out on a leg and assume you didn't watch Shipudden?(/genq/nf) could I ask what were your thoughts on the story (however far you got into it?) maybe like favorite/disliked characters? parts of the plot you liked and didn't, did you have any critics of the series (both manga and anime, assuming you read the manga too)? (/lh) any opinions on the legendary Sannin? generally, just your thoughts on it i suppose

and oh yeah fair fair, the intro bit i brought up since i kinda tiptoed around it when i was searching up watch guides and didn't want watch anything that might've spoiled anythin lol (may have been too careful for no reason lmao) the intro was just the first clip i saw of the actual 3d bits (i'm in the 'not know' side whether that style/model was consistent with the actual 3d used in the show tho) but wait they animated the powers n stuff to be 3d?? that's actually super cool wha (/gen)

took me a while to understand that 'death 13' was the name of the episode, and ohh it never occurred to me about the 'copyright issues' bit though i guess it's the same reason why people will always use names like '"barbucks" for a shop in their story whose icon looks awfully like Starbucks lol. i usually watch my anime subbed, though which would you suggest for this one? do you usually watch in subbed or dubbed? but eh yeah, might not matter much but still ty for the heads up! (/gen)

no but truee, the foundation parts make the lead up to the big punchy monster powers bit even more satisfying though :( and jonathan, yeah yeah! i've seen very small smidges of him here and there, i briefly consulted the wiki page of his because i wanted to find a clip of his voice without spoilers and omg he sounds so cool! :D i didn't scroll down any further down the wiki though, there weren't any "spoilers ahead!" warnings but i didn't wanna take any chances :')

oh yeah, sxf is actually a pretty good example of a 'polished' anime artstyle similar to other modern animes tbf, the sharp difference when i try to compare the two in my head made me snort a bit ngl (/lh) the style and story (from what i've seen of jjba and sxf so far at least) are so stark in contrast but they're both so good too (/gen)

twt has already shoved in my face that apparently, eren dies for mikasa or something? i'm not in the know of all the details but the shock factor is definitely eh- minimized now i suppose lol, and oh a tier list might be a fun idea if your up for it! how do you manage to keep track of the ones you've read/watched? or is it just a 'welp i'm relying on my memory for this' type thing? (/hj/lh) sxf really carrying both jjba (with no one being safe lol) and aot in terms of fluff, i feel as though i'm jinxing myself and that the ending might not be happy either but i;m crossing my fingers it is lol, and yea dw abt getting off topic, it's fun to read tangents (is that how you use the word)

mangakas favorite drink are the tears of their fans :') (/j) but props to you for managing to get the titan lore, i've seen a lot of people say it just confused the heck out of them and some said they dropped it so i hope you were able to enjoy it :D (both the series and the 'head-ache inducing' lore /hj/lh) 

and yay no problem! i'll admit when i read your description of it, i tried to do the same actions? like laughing but not making any sound, i definitely looked very goofy while doing it but i remembered the term 'croak/croaking' so it was a fruitful endeavor :D (/j/lh) i apologize for the tmi ;')

 "Chainsaw Man is a character-driven story that manages to conclude itself in 97 chapters, and its due to the author focusing on the main characters and its themes," i didn't think it could be explained so simply in word form but that actually does make sense. "All the battle shounen stuff is just being used a medium to tell the actual story, it's not the story itself." just this description alone summarizes it well i'm assuming and now that i think about it, really makes csm stand out tbh. Almost all anime i can name off the top of my head (action/battle genre ofc) really does focus on "different states and nations all preparing to fight one another for [ cue overarching plot point ]." Character development and personal introspection don't tend to be the top priority, well aside from the 'shonen mc moments' such as ya know- tanjiro, izuku, etc.? (/lh) or from what i can gather at least lol

but honestly, i didn't know csm concluded at 97 chapters! the fact the author was able to just- start it, do what he wanted to do and end it as planned (or at least i'm assuming? i haven't seen any articles with the clickbait tagline of "csm creator dislikes/isn't happy about [ ... ]!") it got pretty popular too so that's awesome to hear, and yea true actually, i can see you and other people like denji and the fact that both the "Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School/Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru" tags on ao3 collectively have over 5.8k fics says enough lol 

spy was definitely a very wholesome show and it's just so, so nice to watch the family dynamic form and grow<3 dunno why but i liked how they were able to incorporate bits of yor and loid's profession into their parenting styles what with yor helping to cause the iconic damian scene and loid with attempting to sneak in to change anya's grade lol, but oh! what's your thoughts on franky? ngl i kinda love all the goofy stuff he pulls and gets twilight to do lol, but yeah tbh yuri's bit of being secret police and his scenes with anya are some of the only highlights of his char i remember when watching ;; (/lh) obsessive brother still kinda shocks me with how it's pretty prevalent as a trope tbh but also what's your thoughts on bond? also what was your favorite and maybe least liked episode or mayb chapter of sxf? 

it's been a bit since i found the site but i can binge all the chaps now so heads up an ask abt that in a few hours :D (/lh/gen) your so right about that thoo, having characters that could just be irrevocably bad people can be done but managing to make them appealing/getting the readers to feel for them is such a sign of being a good writer, but also yeah managing to cause your readers pain thru them is to be applauded too lol (mangaka's really do enjoy their reader's pain /j/lh) 

how have all the scenes you've shown be so pretty, my brain would assume it's just specific detailed scenes but i have the very sneaking suspicion that the whole manga is styled like this and i'm very much looking forward to it,  even if i covered her facial expression her hair swaying and clothing ripples(is that what u call it) somehow portrays emotion so well, how even? (/lh/pos)

i was confused on who 'nameless white-haired guy' was until i read the next sentence and i just went "ah" lol, and oh kinda sucks he got gassed too much but damn that personality is just yikes lol (from what i've seen of the one scene ofc) and oh there'a dif other guy? in about 30 minutes i'll see this hoodie dude so i'll end up finding out, i know he won't be 'as bad' but i'm looking forward to seeing how bad? uhm, basically looking forward to the chapter, hope that made sense or the sentiment at least got across lol, and yea no worries i'm reading your response at the same time so there might be dead ends/random tangents in mine that i didn't notice so- sorry about that :') 

And ah yea that makes sense, I'd actually be pretty surprised if you were able to remember specific little details but glad to hear you enjoyed it :D the analogy of 'cramming before a test' hit me on a personal level lol (/hj) and oh, was nijimiya the girl mc? she really does seem like a sweetheart and help I never knew she had a younger sister, that's super cool! And yeah! The dude's character development was nice to watch too but alas ofc, tears lol

I remember reading 'Kichikujima (Freak Island)' quite a while ago, I remember it's pretty gorey though I don't know if it qualified as phycological horror? Don't remember too many details so I may be wrong, but oh yeah! I don't know for sure if you were reffering to these types but I kind of made some terms for it lol, idk they're pretty simple labels

Jumpscare Horror - self explanatory, there's a lot of jumpscares and "dun dun dunn" type music/scenes right before the jumpscare.

Gore Horror - I assume this is where kichikujima falls into? Typically, zombie and slasher movies fall into this one lol

Phycological Horror - what you just described :D and ngl ig the name for this one is self explanatory enough lol

I haven't met many people that actually enjoy phycological horror, what's oyasumi punpun if you don't mind me asking? I'm mildly familiar with junji ito's works, i only ever watched vids that dubbed over it tbh but is uzumaki the swirly one? Lackluster description ;; but I'm assuming that's the one, I also heard there was an anime about junji ito's work(s)? Have you seen it? If ya did, what were your thoughts on it? Ohh have you already watched neon genesis? I don't see many people talking about that anymore, what'd you think of it? Seeing your summary of your taste for manga/anime/etc., have you heard of dororo? I only ever watched the anime so I'm not sure whether you'd enjoy it or not, but it's one of the things that come to mind when I think of things that are 'depressing at their core' (/lh)

Figured they'd be under the isekai category tbh, the dif labels just confused me for a bit lol and yeah makes sense it'd depend on the story itself, blue lock is that one popular sports anime recently isn't it? Tbf it's been a hot minute since shield hero gained much media attention as it did before so I don't imagine much talk about it could've been going around lol

Very valid reasoning ngl TT always a genuine whiplash whenever you compare the male and female character designs, the 'probably do not see people of the preferred sex at all' comment both made me cackle and makes a lot of sense lol, the manga started at 1997 and since it's a 'weekly title', technically a chapter comes out every week, I assume that doesn't leave much time for socialization? I dunno but doing this for close to 3 decades, you'd think some actual body diversity or dif styling would be developed as the story progressed but- how did it seriously evolve backwards? This is biologically impossible??(/hj/lh)

I remember a review video I watched citing the author's response as basically saying the target demographic is teen boys anyways? I need to find the video but I'm definitely sure that was the gist of the first bit of his response, it's as if his made unique and customized molds for all of the male characters while using the singular body mold fkr every single one of the female characters ;; the fact he prolly just chooses not to is def a massive let down tbh :')

While scrolling down, my eyes instantly went to the pic so I went "Miles :D!" then woah second pic jumpscared me real bad lol, when you said you had an example in mind I didn't think it'd be such a good example yikes, the longer I look at the artwork the more I understand your point, it's making- a lot of sense, the "you can tell a lot about someone by the way they draw" part is true tbh, this whole bit is just giving me the icks ;;

But ahh, I'll be reading the killer in love manga now :D also very sorry for answering so late, I know it isn't compulsory or anything but really just have my sincerest apologies ;; /gen/pos

And yay alright, I'll try to switch it up sometime for variety lol, minjae, d'you have any that you prefer or prefer not to use?

I watched the outro as it's own clip and I swear the meme was scratching my brain since it seemed so familiar, I'm questioning how'd it even turn into that meme lol, did it take you a while to find out?

(may contain some grammar/spelling errors, srry abt that)

HI!!! :grin: aot spoilers and..... just walls of text under the cut i didnt answer some stuff since there really wasnt anything for me to add of worth-- i read everything though dw

you should read deadmans questions right after thus spoke rohan kishibe (which i forgot to mention is technically a prequel- i shouldve said that.. u watch it after tho cuz its only rlly fun if youve watched rohan throughout part 4 already) i think- (so between 4 and 5 as you said) i cant really... tell you without sorta ruining it so u just have to wait and see. i can say its like.. not the same person he was when she was alive (im messin up their prns on purpose. for extra concealing) and theyre kinda like trying to become happy by doing.. assasinations.. :grin:

my one piece of character death-related advice is to not expect their return in this series. like once theyre dead theyre dead basically would advise to not forward aswell- going backwards fine :grin:

yes ive watched the first naruto it didnt end on a bad note or anything, and i started shippuden and he was suddenly like fucking 16 so i put it on the backburner (for whats been... 4 years now.. i dont think ill get to it ever honestly naruto was fire though. when he would transform into that.. posessed fox form i ALWAYS had to rewind and watch the scene again. idk if its top 3 anime :grimacing: like people say but its not a bad show either (i watched it instead of reading it cuz it was Free) for characters i LOVED naruto. ofc i did hes the mc but like hes such a cool kid honestly. the kinda kid everyones friends with in primary school (apart from in show). the entire main gang was great but naruto and kakashi were my top 2 .. and gaara now that i remember him i liked him more than naruto when i watched it tbh-- he was just so angry and emo and fine ive matured past the age of calling fictional characters attractive but when i was 11 i was in love with him honestly heavily disliked sasuke. which is ironic cuz i hated him for the reason i loved gaara he was so angry and emo all the time-- but he hurt naruto with his edginess (technically gaara did too but i excuse it.) also he was just being a bit of a asshole. like anime rival esque asshole but an asshole nontheless this is getting long so i'll get to the show itself honestly. because its been so long i cant remember what i really disliked the stuff that i can remember are just dumb stuff that all older animes do i guess all the "sexy-jutsu" stuff were kinda off-putting plus jiraiya as a whole. i loved him but damn he was WEIRD i had to google what the sannin were cuz i genuinely forgot-- but i think theyre cool jiraiya is a bit icky, the blonde one (forgot her name) was pretty funny- i liked her dynamic with sakura and orochimaru i think his name was; was so cool. his entire look influenced who i am today i owe it all to him /hj

death 13 is both the episode name and the ability name of the person in that episode and- id wholeheartedly recommend subbed for jjba a LOT of the jokes only work cuz its japanese, aswell as the emotions in scenes personally i dont like dubs since i find that its usually more "colorful" in its original form (for that reason i generally cannot watch korean dubs of animes.. they just throw me off ever-so-slightly

jonathan looks better in the anime than the manga to me, but this is mainly because i dont really like anime characters with muscles as big as. uh.

the hercules-corona borealis great wall :grin: and in the anime they werent as ginourmous its a REALLY good thing arakis art style did not stay the same for the entire series honestly picturing the later characters drawn the way the first parts were drawn is honestly whiplash-inducing

(NOT AN OFFICIAL DESIGN. PART 5 CHARACTER IN PART 1 STYLE)

you really cant compare the jojo artstyle with sxf (probably because of all the muscles + how "harsh" jojo's shading is, and the personality in both styles)

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this is the best thing i could find ^ and honestly it looks cool as hell- the artist is really talented but with the art style i just cant envision it would be as lighthearted as sxf is it carries its own vibe to it

if youve already heard that eren dies it wont pack as hard of a punch (the punch being that THE main character died) but it will still tug on your heartstrings, if you dont know the specifics. i wont say its for mikasa, but more for everyone really eren. is honestly a result of knowing too much thats what i love about aot really.. theres no bad guys other than the big man eating monsters, but even those monsters arent truly bad everyones doing what they have to do, and thats most evident in eren once you sit down and absorb the lore its gutwrenching for remembering what i watched... i honestly have no way of tracking it. theres been a good few times i watched a show, and then realized id finished it already i probably shouldve done that, but theres no point to it now so i just use memory (which honestly shows if a show is good or not-- theres a lot of shows i immediately think of despite having watched them 3 years ago/ ex: death note, erased, jjba, and school live) (and yes thats the correct way to use the way tangents)

thats whats great about csm its not just ur average battle shounen, and its battling is second to its characters whenever i see debates abut goku vs naruto and such its just like the main thing anyone got from the series was the fights (which is fully valid) but like.. there usually isnt much character depth this is usually combatted by making the characters one character trait- something that csm flips over idk what im on about. its 11 pm and i havent slept in 2 days im so sorry if this comes off weirdly written

csm was a really short read and im so happy about that since as you said, fujimoto did what he wanted, finished, and was satisfied with it hes also working on csm part 2- which is not from denjis pov it has a whole different protagonist ive heard, and takes place somewhere else i wont be reading it, since i dont want to start anything i cant finish, but i do push you to once youve finished jojo/killer in love/ other things you feel like reading

it is really nice that yor/loidś work influenced the way they parent (esp with how yor tried to teach anya to defend herself from bullies) franky was a fun character- i liked his disguises he got from loid

bnd is cute i dont really have anything to say about him.. the whole looking into the future thing is cool though my favorite chapter has to be the one where loid is convinced yor is upset with him so he takes her to a bunch of different places.. but she was just in pain after a mission bad explanation but you get the memo i hope

i wouldnt say ALL scenes are the exact same quality as everything ive been showing, but everything is generally *really* pretty

^that was a generally regular scene, so thats just how the art is as a default its really beautiful (also that guy with white hair is the arata i mentioned-- he isnt bad in comparison to all the other ¨bad" characters.. hes just sorta a prick)

i honestly,,,.... shouldnt have said hoodie guy isnt as bad hes really bad but morally speaking white hair guy is even worse so he isnt as bad, but he isnt tame either, esp later on all your points are getting across just fine btw :grin:

i havent read kichijuma before, but i searched it up and it honestly looks really cool like really cool it has 24 volumes from what i read though so i dont think ill check it out

of the three you mentioned, i dont like jumpscare horror its just lazy same with gore horror if thats all there is to it i dont really enjoy horror mangas/animes much in general minus a select few, but for games im all for them (chillaś art's stuff is great) people i think don't like psychological horror because its more of a thing that gets to you (?) in contrast to with jumpscares or something, that it hits you and youre scared and thats sorta that you dont really shriek in fear over psychological horror, which is what some people look for in horror (yes uzumaki is the swirly one) oyasumi punpun,... is... about punpun and him traversing life (him and his family are drawn as birds. everyone else is drawn normally. he is human) i would usher you to check it out yourself :thumbsup:

also- i started dororo, but i never finished it i probably should tonight since i cant sleep ill tell you how i feel about it if i get to it (no promises though)

i get the one piece demographic is manga loving teenage boys but i guess its just dissapointing that he just... chooses not to put effort into his female characters

im so sorry :sob: i saw it on twitter afterwards and i immediately remembered what id said before it was the best example ever (and have fun with killer in love tell me all about how you felt about it :pray: )

i dont rlly mind any variation whatever u feel like

last but not least when i heard the outro music it took like 3 seconds for me to realize what it was afterwards my world was just flipped by its head (the typos are fien i made evern mroe) (and sorry this took me a minute i kept responding then drafting it then editing then drafting it again)

[talisidekick]

hey, why do you think people should assume you're a woman just bc you have long hair and wear clothing from the women's section? am I not a woman bc I have short hair and am GNC? what about gay men who dress the same as you? how are we supposed to know without misgendering gay folks? I'm not a TERF or radfem but I saw them bringing it up and it's really got me asking questions. I'm 18 and new to this, so I hope this isn't weird to ask!!! It just seems like they were right w "dresses/long hair/femme = woman" when I read the replies to that One Post (also sry they were mean to you!!! and I hope this is ok to ask!)

Three things you can do actually!

If you're unsure, default to 'they/them' and assume neutrality in gender. In fact, I do this just default: I use 'they' or 'them' until the person corrects me, or someone close to them or who knows them does.

Ask their pronouns! I've done this on occasion. "Hi! I'm Tali. Can I ask your preferred pronouns?" and that's it! If I forget, I use 'they/them' when referring them and then approach and apologize for forgetting and ask for clarification again.

Correct if you get it wrong and they bring it up. Just a simple "Ah, sorry about that." And move on, or just nod, correct, and continue.

I know some people take issue with this, but that's largely because of the cisgender normative culture they were brought up in. But just like combating any bias that excludes a minority you're aware of, you just adapt so you make sure that minority is accounted for on the chance someone from that minority comes along.

It's a minor social change, and anyone who scoffs at you for not knowing on impulse, well that's an immediate red flag and an indication of entitlement and/or deliberate exclusionary views. Great way to let people know you probably aren't going to like them if you're an egalitarian.

The other thing to remember is that someones pronouns don't have to reflect their gender. A non-binary person could go by she/her or he/him pronouns. So when it comes to gender, it's really not your business unless they decide to tell you, and then it's only your business in so far as how much they elect to tell you.

[dravidssideblog]

Started trying this little solo journaling game about imp TF (and goblin and kobold and other misc little monsters). Here's my first two entries.

I lean back against a tree, panting for breath as I stare down at my orange hands. Not just my hands, but my arms, my legs, all my skin is a bright, fiery orange. This is really happening. What am I-

"So," the bard says, panting even harder than me. "Now that we've made our daring escape, could I trouble you for the tale of your transformation?"

Their smile is too wide after an exhausting run like that, and I'm very much not comfortable with them poking into my business... but they DID just save me from whatever the town guards would've done to me, so I do unfortunately owe them. "Okay... So, I was reading this book on demonology, and I... may have mumbled one of the incantations... and apparently I channeled demonic energy without doing any of the proper preparations. Not sure what that spell was supposed to do, but-"

The bard's quill pauses. "So sorry, but could you start from the beginning? What lead you to seek out this tome of demons?"

"Oh. Um. W-well, I'm an adventurer-"

"Ah, a hero! That explains your heavy pack and your clothes. You should've lead with that, my friend!"

"Right. Well, I was planning to head south, and you know how demons like to gather around those parts, so..."

"Mmm, studying up on your foes. But your quest for knowledge has gone terribly awry..." Their grin only widens as they scribble their quill.

"Yes. Knowledge."

"And what now? Your humanity is tainted with demonic influence, your flesh made monstrous for all to see! How does that make you feel?"

"Um..." I shift in place, scrambling for a normal-sounding answer. "... bad."

"... Bad. Hm. Well, we can workshop that later. What will you do next? It's rather cold in the south this time of year, so if you're still going that way I'll have to look into new clothes-"

"Wait, you're not coming with me are you?"

"But of course! Your tale is just beginning, and what kind of storyteller would I be if I only knew the first page? And I'm sure pleasant company will be in short supply, venturing about with such a monstrous appearance."

"... Rude. But true. And I guess I'll need someone to go into town and shop for me and stuff... Hey, do you happen to know any legends around the southern regions?"

"You mean, things an adventurer may wish to explore~? Naturally! Though I'm sure the story of the demon-cursed adventurer will put them all to shame one day! Your hideous new looks are already dramatic enough, but I wonder; might there be more to this inadvertent spell..?"

I hope for two things: That my new skin hides my blush, and that the answer to their question is yes.

Day 1 complete. Cause: Lovers. Partner: Fool. Change: Looks 1 - Skin.

-

Nothing. I pour over the demonology book, but no matter where I look there's nothing like what's happened to me, nothing about what to expect, and of course nothing on how to reverse it. Apparently channeling unfiltered demonic energy is pretty unpredictable, who would've guessed. Maybe I got off lucky, unharmed as I am.

But what am I going to do with myself? I can't live in society like this! So much of my life, so many possibilities, gone! Sure I got a little too curious, but I never thought it would go this far! Now I'm stuck as-

Wait, calm down. There's no reason to expect this to be permanent. It's only been a day. I'll just give it some time, bathe regularly, and maybe all this orange will just wash off. Maybe I should take another bath already, my head's so itchy this morning-

"AAAHHHHHHH!!!"

"Hero?!" The excited voice of the bard and the scribbling of their quill meets my sensitive ears. My tent flap is thrown open. "Such a ruckus! What has happened- Oh my!"

My fingers trace along my ears, feeling their long and unnatural pointedness. "The spell... It's... still going..."

"Indeed indeed, what a spectacle! Such evil ears, and such horrific horns!"

"Horns?" I reach to the top of my head. "Oh my god. Oh my god, my life is over! I'll never be a human again!" I flop onto my bedroll, bawling my eyes out.

"Mmm... And so the poor hero despaired at their curse, adventurous spirit crushed by the loss of their humanity. Will this be the end of their adventures, or will-"

"Would you SHUT UP!!"

"Ah, I didn't think you could hear my mumblings. I suppose nothing escapes those sharp ears now, hm? Between that and your ever-more-devilish appearance, you'd make quite the trickster!"

Their comments mix some confusing feelings into my mood. "Stop it..."

"And those horns! Rather small, almost cute, but their sharp points hint at a sinister, or perhaps mischievous side..."

Why can't I just feel sad like a normal person! It was simpler when it was just sadness!

"I'd better practice my illustration, I can't afford to miss when your tail grows in!"

"Hey! You should go into town and... buy food and supplies and stuff! That's why I let you follow me!"

"True enough, both our packs are rather light after our unexpected early departure. I'll go shopping, then. Save any core character developments for when I'm baaack~"

I listen as their footsteps leave the tent, then the camp, getting farther and farther away until I can't hear them anymore. My hands drift to my horns... This curse better not stop halfway; I've already lost my chance to be a human, I can't miss my chance to be a demon too.

Day 2 complete. Event: Hanged Man. Reaction: Strength. Change: Sense 1 - Ears.

[offbeat-manga-ships]

Question: would you know any manga featuring an effeminate short male protagonist, with a taller and dom M and F love interests?

Tried looking, but no luck.

other than a shorter male character, both effeminate and sub/dom are terms that can have different interpretations, so i apologize if the recs are useless.

first thing that comes to mind is ikemen joshi to josou danshi [MAL / AL / MU]. as the premise lets you know, the male character starts cross-dressing, so he is feminine in that way (and definitely submissive), but i suppose he isn't effeminate in the "classic" way. the taller female lead is also a cross-dresser because she wants to (one of the few female cross-dressers in manga who actually enjoy it..). i can also guarantee she is dominant. i really enjoyed this manga.

another one, now with the more usual type of effeminate male character, is yeonwoo's innocence [MAL / AL / MU]. i'm not up to date with this one. i read a bunch of chapters a long time ago and didn't keep up with it (and it's still going. good lord.) i remember he is very shy and feminine and she is very princely, but their interactions were still kind of shallow instead of the actual throes of love, so i don't know exactly how their dynamic looks like when the real romance begins.

i've been following a "manga" (published in english but like. still seems like a manga) called so shine!! [mangadex] that meets all the requirements, except i'm not sure if the guy could be considered feminine enough for you haha i think he's pretty adorable.

kawaii hito [MAL / AL / MU] also fits. i have a lot of affection for this one 🫶

from what i've read of lady crystal is a man [MAL / AL / MU] (also paused this one), even though both characters are cross-dressing (for historical fantasy world reasons this time), i can tell the guy is definitely big-innocent-eyes / blushing-a-lot feminine and the girl seems to be naturally handsome and a charmer. problem is, i don't know if he actually stays shorter than her because of the whole "his development was stunted to keep his gender hidden" thing (i have one bone or two to pick w this manwha bc of how it portrays genderbender. but i digress). if i know a thing or two about korean manwha i would say luck is not on our favor. (btw, for this same reason i can't list let's hide my little brother as an example because manwha is addicted to undoing every single little deviation from the norm the characters could ever have).

aki sora [MAL / AL / MU] also fits what you ask... it's in/cest though. and borderline H.

miageru to kimi wa [MAL / AL / MU] kinda fits too... again, depends on how effeminate you want him to be. and their little romance stays very much kinda static, innocent schoolkids thing. not much of a breeding ground for dominance and submission, though maybe the roots of it are there a little bit.

i liked the characters in pump up! [MAL / AL / MU] but not so much how the romance story unfolds. still, it's a short read and they're cute.

i would also like to mention princess-kun to knight-san [MAL / AL / MU]. there are not many chapters yet, and i guess it's foolish to hope she might be dominant, but the story didn't disappoint me by making her straight up submissive... yet. but since he is a feminine shorter guy and she's a knight in shining armor kind of lady, maybe it's worth checking out. i do like them as characters in their own right so far.

the boy in a princely girlfriend's bad habits [mangadex / MU] is not exactly effeminate, but he is feminine not only in appearance, i would say. he could pass as a grumpy female lead if you ask me. he's cute, but a bit stubborn, with a chip on his shoulder.

elf ga joou-sama! [AL / MU] ... borderline H again

if you don't mind the boy being much younger (sho/ta), there's also boku no chi de yokereba [MAL / AL / MU] and novels, boy and a sailor uniform [MAL / AL / MU] (oneshot for the people who like forcefem)

oh and honorable mention to kawaisugiru danshi ga ouchi de matteimasu [MAL / AL / MU] (not a sho/ta manga). she probably isn't straight up Dominant but i sure as hell wish i had the rest of the scanlated manga for the chance to find out 😭

sorry i can't help you with the yaoi version of this, not my thing etc. but i'm pretty sure an effeminate smaller uke and a taller dominant seme is the classic of the classic of yaoi manga and you wouldn't have any trouble finding it after spending some time on the tags of MU. also there must be some BL manga blog around here to help...

btw if you actually meant an effeminate guy with both a taller dom boyfriend and a taller dom girlfriend.... brother i havent found even a straight up poly manga that isn't just some form of harem or sm/ut set up instead of an actual relationship trio :/ good luck and let me know of you do lol

[actuallyitsstar]

3, 4, 27, and 51 for fanfic asks?

✨ send me a number to ask a fanfic question! ✨

3. what is the best fandom you've ever been involved in?

my answer is twofold! if we are not basing this on fictional fandoms only, i think i have overall the most fond memories of being a mythical beast- to elaborate, there's these two lifelong best friends with a youtube show, called rhett and link, you may or may not have heard of them- and i was on ground zero for the peak of their career. i had a lot of friends in that fandom, a very big fandom blog, i helped organize and participate in fandom community stuff, and the energy and the vibe and the fun and creativity and sense of community were like no other. definitely my fandom honeymoon era, and i still love it dearly in a nostalgic sort of way. unfortunately, it came to an end, tho, as most things do; people started infighting, there was lgbtq+ discourse that i felt very much ostracized by, as this was during the big "asexuals aren't lgbt+" wave and i was getting lowkey harrassed about it; and a lot of people just started being downright nasty to each other out of nowhere. the whole fandom pretty much imploded, and as far as i know now there's only 10 or 15 blogs remaining (i used know if at least 1k+, which to me is a big fandom, tho i know lots of fandoms are much bigger!) that post about rhett and link / are mythical beasts.

i sometimes wish i could get back to that. i do rly miss that sense of community and positivity and friendship. i still absolutely love rhett and link and i will cherish my internet dads forever <3 but that old community is gone now, unfortunately, and i don't think there's any chance of it coming back. (my close second in this category has to be dan & phil and the phandom, so much so that i was peer pressured into making a sideblog for it, but it's so much larger and more impersonal feeling- still a great community tho! with its occasional discourse, as most communities tend to have i suppose)

if we are talking about specifically ~fictional~ media fandoms, then believe it or not, top gun! i've never received such a warm and kind welcome bursting into a fandom late with my bullshit, lol <3 we are small but mighty, and i'm gonna be writing for this fandom until it's just u and me reading it, probably, so there's no taking that away from me, lol. everyone i have talked to has been so lovely and insightful and i've loved all the creativity and amazing works that i have read/seen/etc!!! <3<3 very sad that i missed out on the original top gun summer tbh!

4. do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

i don't, actually! i was never that fully intertwined with a fandom and its discourse for whatever went down to really effect me that directly, except for the mythical beasts, and i can't regret that- a formative experience that gave me friends and fun and a lot of laughter at the time! everything has a time and a place and sometimes it isn't meant to last forever, and that's okay. i still had fun!

27. which do you hate more: writing summaries or picking titles?

SUMMARIES !!!!! summaries are so yuck oh my god. titles are easy. titles are chosen by listening to Music from Blorbo Playlist (tm) until i hear a line and go !!! THAT ONE !!!! and thats the title <3 its so easy for me <3 but summaries. blood sweat and tears ??? stressing that it doesn't sound interesting enough so no one will click on it???? trying to reveal the ~vibe~ of the fic w/o spoiling anything ????? Impossible!!! it cannot be done

51. rant about something you love/hate about fanfic! go!

I LOVE THAT FANFIC IS A GROUP PROJECT LOVE LETTER TO LOVE. whether it be to the things we love, the people we love, the stuff that helps us escape or makes us feel better or brings us joy or drives us to make something or inspires us. you can't get into fanfic for clout or for money. you can't be stuck up about fanfic (or i suppose u can try but. u won't get far!), you can't be a fanfic influencer. you write fics because you love something so much that you just have to talk about it or you feel like you're going to burst, and so do the people who have also seen the something who may or may not have the same feelings as you- so you all share that love with each other!

and idk. i guess i just think thats neat <3 i love u fanfic authors <3 i love u fanfic readers <3 that is All

tysm for the ask and sorry it took 18 million years and that i have um older asks to answer still 😭 we are getting there slowly kids akdhdjfhf