#i'm still just as weak as I always was
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epickiya722 · 9 months ago
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You know what, Sukuna lowkey had it out for Choso since Shibuya. Probably did not like the fact that Yuji had someone, actual family... an actual blood brother that cared about him. He been had plans to kill him, I just know it.
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front-facing-pokemon · 2 years ago
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catboy-jupiter · 1 month ago
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i'll be like "i'm a god of writing" and then an hour passes after i post or submit something and i'll be like "i'm so dumb there's so much i could've done better if only i'd waited a bit and looked at it with fresh eyes i would've noticed how much it sucks & what i could've improved that looks so much like first draft material there's so many revisions i could make why i am i so impulsive and overconfident" and then i'll start writing something else and be like "i'm a god of writing" again
#the woes of having both a superiority and inferiority complex#also i think this might be similar to how i only get performance anxiety AFTER the performance is done. i'm always like this#i'll be super chill before a play & during it but then the play ends and i'm like “fuck they must've hated my acting” or whatever#or i'll be super chill while singing but then it ends and i go “man i sung way too quietly & i think i was out of pitch i suck”#and once again as soon as i go back to doing it again i go “wow im super great at this im amazing”#on related news i applied to a zine with 2 out of 3 snippets being ones i started writing as soon as i decided i was actually gonna apply#& i decided i wanted to apply 5hrs before i sent the application#so uh. i wrote ~2.7k words within 5 hrs & didnt give myself time to edit it bc im a dumbass w/ no concept of time#(“the applications close jan 2nd so i need to get this done asap” dude there's like a week til then why the rush- oh youve already sent it)#tbf they're more like 2nd drafts? one is a scene i'd kind of written b4 but w/ the intent of no one seeing it so i completely rewrote it#& the other is a very VERY loose eng translation of like the first quarter of one of my one-shots. when u compare its more of a rewrite rly#but still i'm looking at them now & im getting 2nd thoughts i shouldve waited eughhh#if you're a mod of that zine pls look away hahahaha.....#unless you liked those last 2 snippets & r impressed with the fact they were rushed. if so then yea im a god of writing ik ik#but to be fr tho i actually think snippet 2 is pretty strong but i think the 3rd one is... very weak. there's not much cohesion#like i def could've added more connective tissue. i was just a bit over half the wc limit so that was def smth i couldve done. ugh
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randomnameless · 4 months ago
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tbh, I stopped caring about houses that much when I found out that it's an otome/dating sim game with srpg gameplay sprinkled on top. In other FE games, you either gather supports by pair ups or by having units standing against one another. And mechanics like cooking in Fates were done to get some more stat boosts. And even if the avatarization of the game started with New Mystery, Robin and Corrin feel more like customizable characters than an avatar for the player.
In houses, Byleth is like every typical dating sim protag, that does not speak and the few times they do is by having the player choose options that may raise heart points with a character or lower them, you have to find lost items and when you give them back you gain heart points, you have to give them gifts to gain heart points and cooking now doesn't give you any beneficts in battle and only works for, you've guessed it, getting heart points. And let's not kid ourselves, tea time is like the "dates" in otome games, in which you can spam gifts till you raise the affection to the max. The only thing that distincts those points from the otome ones, is that those are necessary for proficency and for unit classes.
Heck, we even have a ring to give to the chosen blorbo in order to get a special custom made cutscene, when in pasts games getting an S support gave you a broken unit to deploy and a little blurb of text during the credits. And of course, calendar/day systems are also common in these tipes of games too.
People complained about awakening and fates for turning the franchise into a dating sim, but 3Houses is literally one in and of itself, and yet is praised as peack FE experience and as peack srpg.
(I could also argue that is because of this otome nature why the characters are "tell don't show" with their given trauma, unlike in pasts games when it was "show don't tell" (Nino, Reison, Camilla, Leif, Soren...))
Well,
When you put it like that, it becomes obvious that the other games (FEH, Engage) mentionning Fodlan are stuck on the uwu monastery part of the part 1 and not the, y'know, events happening that will lead to part 2 because as you said, the SRPG aspect is just "sprinkled on top" lol
However, the "pair up your units and build their relationships!" has been a non gameplay mechanics for decades now (FE4's was a gameplay mechanic, it had no support convos - FE6 added the support convos and gave a small gameplay boost but it didn't commit and we had no endings, FE7/8 had endings, FE9 had convos but FE10 removed them and yet had endings depending on the pairs, etc etc) even without avatars.
Then we entered the avatar era and if it added the "my waifu and my bae" shenanigans, FE13/14 were still more centered on the story aspect that on the "dating sim" aspect, as in, even if you could raise affinity with a character by doing X or Y, it wasn't really coded in a minigame - came FE16 which you analysed perfectly : tea time, gifts, eating, S-support CG, etc etc.
That being said, FE is a RPG, meaning it has characters : you play FE for the solid gameplay but you also build characters, and imo the best way to develop and write characters is to interconnect them with other characters, and/or with the plot/lore.
Sure, Arden functions as a wall/tank. But through the 5 lines he has, you learn that he is part of a group of knights, has friends who often tease him but is relied upon by those people and takes pride in that, he'd also like to find a wife someday and has self-esteem issues.
Is he as developped as, say, Xillia's Alvin? Hell no! But they're characters from two different genres, Arden has those 5 lines that puts him above any "generic" armor.
(I find it interesting how UO and in a way, FE11, gives you the opportunity to play with generics instead of playing with named characters, in UO generics will turn out to be better since you can change their growths, but they're generics. Do you want the RPG of the Tactics/Strategy aspect?)
So, I'd say that support conversations are important, I love Saias and Ralf to bits, but I'm sure I'd love them more if they had more lines. And since support through battle can be a chore (hello FE GBA and trying to get Bartre and Karla's supports when she joins 2 chapters before the end!), I initially welcome any way to grind those supports faster lol.
However, it can quickly spiral in, well, the otome mechanics we have in FE16 - if you want to build support then why not have an entire mini-game for that, and meals and chorals and whatever else?
It's all about finding balance between developping your characters without turning your game in a dating sim or what I'd call "playing the sims and pairing those dolls with those other dolls you like".
Still, let's not kid ourselves, nowadays the "dating sim" aspect of the series is, while decried by some, very popular - and FE is first and foremost, a series that has to sell.
3H is not peak SRPG not peak gaming experience or even in FE gameplay that'd be FE5 but I can't ignore the fact that its dating sim aspects might be part of the reason why it's still very popular.
#anon#replies#fe series#for my part i never liked harem protagonists or games/mangas it always pissed me off#but say if Lloyd can end up with different people and ladies in ToS#it's not the first argument that's thrown around when people praise the game#or even discuss about it#it's an accessory#i know redshit isn't a monolith but#for all the sass some had decrying mooners thinking with their ovaries and wanting to pick their uwu pwince to build a s support with him#UO's redshit has a lot of 'which waifu did you choose' posts#it's fun#granted the dating sim aspect of UO is also something i'm not fond of even if they tried to write it in the plot#still unlike Billy eating 150 meals per day#Alain doesn't have to sit with people eating#like you can order a meal between rodrick Joseph and Monica without Alain#I like seeing how characters are interconnected to each other and all#which is why I hate avatar or MC scissors#I can't help but wonder if the weak writing for the characters in Fodlan isn't due to Supreme Earl Grey#and the fact that they all must be able to uwu about Billy so can't have meaningful bonds#I remember some people joking that Alain can legit break what would be canon or heavily implied to be canon relationships in UO#which is all kinds of uhh writing wise for the characters involved#it's even more hilarious when the characters favor their already built relationship over the one you force with the MC lol#but anyways back to FE Fodlan I thought like#the writing for characters was shallow because they all must be able to ditch friends family and lovers for Billy#and that's just... as tasteless as a watermelon to me
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suddencolds · 9 months ago
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#delete later#another journal entry 📝 for the void#i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks 😵‍💫 i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough#i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep 😭#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks#i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better#results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but#it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as#blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply#respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and#weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T
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sysig · 23 days ago
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VUXPet (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#DAX#Ghostkinz#I mean obviously right lol#The problem is the Webkinz pet-sit style is Incredible easy to draw lol#Everything fits it! It's the kind of sitting pose I already like to draw! Standardized!! I am weak!!#That said ZEX is actually kind of hard to Webkinzify lol#VUX don't translate all that well to the Webkinz Classic style! At least not the earlier pet puppet style#I can't speak to the later pet styles - partially because I'm not as big a fan of them lol#The Wintermint Husky? Hon...#Anyway lol - I decided to try vectoring him and drew a lot of inspiration from the Frog bu mmmh#It /is/ a cute pet but hmnnghhhh..... Why does Frog have Fur lol#Although! There is actually precedent of a one-eyed green be-tentacled creature in Webkinz lore!#From the Dex Dangerous game - his little alien buddy :D I'm choosing to ignore the big ears and antenna lol - the rest is cute!!#So maybe therein lies the answer to my query lol#He would make for an adorable desktop buddy but that's a foregone conclusion - all VUX are cute ♥#Although - wouldn't it be funny to have a random chance to roll either ZEX or a random loyalist VUX lol#Gets offended that you would not only insinuate that they're ZEX but that you know ZEX at all - you must also be a deviant pervert! Haha ♪#Poor either of them being sick tho :'0 Still not going to remove that option like Webkinz did tho I happen to enjoy that element lol#The rest ended up being non-Ghostkinz-style UkaVUX ideas#Since I've removed the Kero/Sakura overlap function for Ghostkinz it got me wondering what it Would be like for those two in specific#ZEX only too happy to get close to his Sub-Commander hehe - especially at the behest of a human interest! Just want to be on their good side#Their arm expressions there are so very my favourite ahhh ZEX so languid and relaxed and DAX trying to squirm out and away but failing <3#Hugs! No! Yes! ♥ Hehe#And then also of DAX once again failing to redirect his Admiral - it is the way of things it's unavoidable it's just how it goes#I do have fun with those digitally-added textures at times... Maybe more often every now and then hmmm#Just when I feel like it#His head tendril expressions are always such fun ♪ And face-palming haha - face...arming? Lol
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wavebiders · 1 year ago
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Thinking about how most of the time when you have the option to stay quiet during a companion quest you get approval for letting them handle it and sometimes even get disaproval for talking over them
And then with Shadowheart's quest speaking up with Viconia not only gives a +5(while *keep silent* gives nothing) but also if you don't do that she will look genuinely scared when Viconia asks you to hand her over
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yuckydraws · 1 year ago
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Healing & Growth
(gif made by my friend @robanilla-arts is below - slight warning for flashing! Thanks again, Rob!)
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#if you feel like reading it - I'm gonna ramble in the tags.#Don't really feel like having it attached to the post for forever... cause what if i just wanna reblog some fairysona art??#anyways#this year sucked a lot. in a lot of ways. but im grateful for it.#healing is stupidly hard and annoyingly enough? not linear in the slightest. Yet infuriatingly - it is worth it.#I am far from done with healing. I've barely scratched the surface.#but im learning and connecting with myself along the way.#The biggest step I've taken this year is working on my people pleasing ways. it's a bad habit birthed from a lot of different traumas.#but it no longer rules my life.#I am not passive anymore - and surprise! that doesn't make me a horrible or evil person.#my kindness is no longer a weakness. its still a part of me and always will be. i won't let go of it.#but it is no longer to a fault#there are people undeserving of my kindness... i realize that now. I know what i will and will not put up with in every kind of relationshi#im still learning and exploring - and i've said a lot of goodbyes this year. I'm sure i will say more.#but that's okay.#some relationships are forever - some serve you for a while and teach you a lesson when they end.#and some relationships stick around and don't *have* to have a deeper connection#and that's also okay.#I didn't think I'd make it through this year in all honesty. I was very close to ending it all on multiple occasions.#But. for what it's worth - as of now im glad im here.#i will continue to struggle and have my hard times. im not naive enough to think depression just goes away.#but im okay for now and im moving forward.#there will be pauses and abrupt stops and likely some good ol' rotting involved. but when i can - ill be moving forward.#i will not speak a word of 2024 because no matter what it will have it's ups and downs.#but i will continue to keep working on myself. and that's all anyone can do in this weird life.#if you made it through all of that... uhhhh wow you got a crush on me or smth? /j/j/j/j#but fr - if you read this far... thank you. i hope you're faring well and that you have a happy celebration tonight.#sleep well and dream well when it comes to you#yucky draws#my art
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polux-aka-hyakunana · 4 months ago
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The tragedy of having my hands full of work until at least next week and suddenly remembering how much I love and miss Lies of P while living my Geats fever because I need stalker!Riders injected on my veins to keep living
#will tag them to manifest to the universe my need of while my hands are too busy — dont mind me#lies of p#kamen rider geats#i already talked about this once on twitter but i was born with a severe case of bRAZILLIAN#just like d2 fed a lot of my aus now lop is my mental playground#im still weak to the steampunk victorian dystopic puppetto made with souls worldbuilding#and i'm just scratching the surface here bc the wake-up call was stalkers with animal masks#like we already have fox and cat volfe siblings you'll always be famous#so technically i would change them to fit geats and na-go - prob make one white and the other yellow instead of red and black#but also wHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DONT HAVE A BULL STALKER— 'its a buffalo'#AND NOT A RACCOON— 'tanukis are not raccoons'#for real tho mad donkey is this *okay emote* close from buffa#and going one floor deeper ergo / giragira hello jyamato and puppets manifesting memories of the dead hELLO#another floor deeper and a godly figure turned into tree/stone //drums#i'm not even mentioning 'idealized child created post-mortem' bc since pinocchio this is a staple but hEY#prob here just like my d2/lop au i would subvert sophia's role bc casuals would think of tsumuri which /fits/ but so would ace#'polux why do you create so much aus if you barely do anything with them' BECAUSE ITS A CURSE ITS MY FATE I'M DOOMED TO AU#technically they help me have inspos for my own original ideas but while i have my own jobs i can't really work on them so i stick to aus
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miabrown007 · 11 months ago
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going crazy about kaz brekker hours
#HE'S JUST *screams into a pillow*#Inej wants him to be better she NEEDS him to be better and shed his armour and be emotionall vulnerable and honest to her#and every time he tries it life delivers a right hook into his solar plexus and knocks him to hell and back#and time and time again he is made to come to the incorrect conclusion that being vulnerable and soft and caring about anyone ever#is a mistake and a weakness that he isn't allowed that he doesn't deserve#and his only way of getting what he wants and keeping the people he loves safe is if he becomes something that can't love them#like life just continues to punish him for having any kind of feelings#and he can only love them if he kills the part of himself that loves them. like COME ON MAN#i'm literally unwell about this kid (KID HE'S FUCKING 17 LET HIM LIVE)#someone sedate me (well actually don't i need to start reading CK tonight)#Kaz I Am Ruin And Ruination Brekker#and it's so tragic because he has come such a long way during SoC and when Inej asks him to be hers you know he can't do it. he would like#to but he's unable of it like his walls are still built up so high.#and it's fair of her to ask because she needs that and keeping her always at arms length is not viable of Kaz but also that's all he can#currently give her. that's his all and it's not enough and my heart is breaking for them ohmygod#they make me think so much of felonies love square I'LL EAT GLASS#okay. anyway. finished six of crows. i'm normal about them.#mia's reading
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i-am-just-a-skeleton · 2 months ago
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i really want to talk to someone, i don't care who or about what but i feel like if i don't i'll start going insane, i've been accidentally ignoring all my friends not that they've tried to contact me either but that's fine they're busy and it's not like that's something they really do anyway it's just that i can't see them in person anymore and it kind of just feels like i don't exist because No One talks to me and i barely respond anyway if they do and i Need to get better at staying in contact with people because if i don't i'll just move away and probably never talk to them again and i don't want that to happen but it Will if i don't do something and it Sucks. this Always happens. every time i start to be friends with something they leave or i leave or we just drift apart and then it's over and i've never had a single person stick around and i never Do anything and i feel like i only exist as a person inside my head and nothing i do ever really affects anyone else and i'd really like. if just for Once i could get out of my own head enough to really connect with someone. and then actually manage to keep them around
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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llycaons · 1 month ago
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every few months I feel like making a post like 'physical weakness or disability isn't a character flaw to be fixed in fanon 😭 its not inherently feminist for women to simply punch good! making jyl a powerful fighter but affording her no inner life, opinions, personal goals, desires, or internal conflict is doing her a greater disservice than incorporating her physical weakness and her knowledge of her own status as aspects of a fully fleshed out character living in a particular setting and interacting with other characters.'
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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago
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recent things
#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month#where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still#feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in#my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol#I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days#where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something#days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated#I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T#My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly#a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at#some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds#before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of#curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has#a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like#Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors#so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh#Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh#n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and#fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch#of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of#the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy#it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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brother was talking to me about how if you almost die from an extreme-temperature-related incident then your body is just forever fucked towards that temperature and that's why i think kiryu and saejima are weak to ice. i dont know why aoki isn't like that too but ignore that statistic everything else tracks.
#snap chats#i already made this post highkey but im making it again cause i didnt know this was an actual real thing ☠️#my brother learned this when he started to work for target. because apparently that's a thing they tell you frame one#'snap how did this topic even come up' i am LITERALLY so glad you asked :) the cold has almost claimed me twice#am i exaggerating Maybe but its my fucked up body temperature now listen#when i was younger i got locked out of my house for like. three hours since i was a latchkey kid#and my dad wasn't supposed to come home with my siblings (from their after school events) for Three Hours#and it had snowed outside and Was Cold Yeah and i couldn't get in cause i forgot my key like a weiner#and yeah. was really cold :) my dad was real cross with me when he found me shivering in the shed LOL#he made me hot cocoa tho so its ok. second incident's just funny No I Talk About It Evvery Other Week#and im p sure i talked bout the first incident too but yeah that time after the con when i was at my sister's#like i cannot stress how cold it was because It Was Late November and the cold still existed#and my sister's heater just. Didnt Work but yeah. i wont go into detail cause i share this story every five seconds#POINT IS i've always had a hard time with the cold- like i'm cold nearly all the time even if the room is 90 degrees#i wont be COLD cold but i'll be colder than i like#anyways can't believe i'm weak to ice this is so sad. i love winter..#aoki isn't weak to ice cause uhhhh /aoki/ didnt almost die in the cold 🥴 masato did 🥴#imagine changing your identity so well that you just remove your past elemental weakness. fucked up.#alright bye
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sysig · 10 months ago
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VUXisms (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Or if you prefer my very Normal Collection of ZEX stimming lol#I'm not choosing to read alien behaviours through a neurodivergent lense you can't prove anything#Okay you got me yes I am lol - in conjunction with my ADHD Max HC (which I am only more convinced of lol) I went into this with#Really any kind of self-soothing behaviour fascinates me :D And ZEX definitely needs the soothing ;;#But it's not just the stimming! Though I did keep pretty diligent notes about that lol he's deeply interesting to me!#He's a texture person! Part of that is due to being VUX and having very processed food but if it fits it fits!#I'm also a texture person - again I have too many notes relating to ZEX lol#I also find it charming (or sad - whichever is applicable at the time!) when ZEX eats in ''odd'' ways haha ♪#Eating without utensils - you can always just wash your hands you do you <3#The weighted blanket lol so - I had a very normal and measured reaction to ZEX enjoying full-body pressure lol#Solely and purely intellectual! Of course! VUX enjoy swimming! Full-body pressure makes complete sense!#And he's a tactile person on top of that - pressure good for multiple reasons! I really do think he'd sleep better with a weighted blanket ♪#Back to stimming! I really loved the scene of him opening the water bottle and his therapist being So Impatient with him about it lol#Let him figure it out! He's very intelligent! Very skilled at finding weak points and exploiting them hehe <3#But then he runs his finger on the lip of the bottle! Wine-glassing it while he talks hehe <3 I love him#Humming!! Another stim I relate to! Not so much now since it was ''encouraged'' out of me so I may be doubly biased towards him using it hee#Too delighted to focus on utensil lessons and yet he's still clever enough to pay attention to multiple things at once hehehe ♫#And then aside from his actual biggest stim he plays with his hair quite a lot - in various ways and to different ends :D#Running his hands through it to self-soothe or tugging on it to express - I kinda read it as him trying to move his head feelers around haha#Not quite the same but something!#Oh and then his biggest stim - just looking at humans lol it is very dopamine-delivering <3 And he has dopamine now! Very powerful :3c#Hhhhh human chemistry for VUX behaviours <3 It's so interesting to me hehe ♪
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