#i'm so sorry you even had to see this tbh
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as an autistic trans man, sometimes I feel less safe in public presenting as a man than as a woman, because, especially in certain places, man + visibly autistic tends to be more often falsely read as "dangerous and predatory" than when people read me as a woman.
Yeah, as an autistic trans woman who doesn't pass, I feel that. <3
Honestly thank you so much for what you do on this app. I'm so glad there's people who are actually willing to stand with trans men instead of pulling the "um well I have it worse so do NOT talk about your own oppression EVER or else you're a transmisogynist!" I'm so happy I found your blog and I hope you have a great week <3
I hope you have a great week as well!
Eh a long while ago Chris Fleming made a video making fun of polyamorous people which used a lot of the same hurtful stereotypes society already perpetuates against us and I’ve not paid attention since
Noted, as someone who is also poly.
i wish the queer community didnt put so much emphasis on sexuality labels like i just want to have sex why do i need to put a word to it
very valid
about the dropout “discourse”: hot take but real life people are not representation. theyre people. real people are not queerbaiting you and real people happening to not be transfem (and I have literally seen transfems in some dropout episodes theyre just not part of the main cast) is not a lack of representation. these are real people. stop* *not you, the people being shitty about it
the complaint is not in any way coming from a genuine place tbh
hey! i just wanted to let you know how much your blog means to me as a trans guy. you and your reblogs have given me hope at trans unity, and lets me know that i-- that we-- aren't alone. so thank you for everything you do, and i greatly appreciate your support and look up to you 💛
Thank you. <3
i redownloaded etsy recently and seeing all the trans stuff saved to my favorites is so sad. i used to feel happy and proud and i wanted to be open about being transmasc. but since all the discourse got worse i just. cant bring myself to feel like it matters. it makes me feel like im trans and yet i will never matter the way other trans people do.
You do matter anon, I promise. I love you, you matter, and I'm glad you're here.
As a trans guy a lot of the self-ID'd TME transmascs weird me out so much. Like why do they all sound like "I am so strong and my power to Harm Women is immense. I could do it so much and I feel the pull to the Transmisogynist Dark Side but *unsheaths sword* I will protect them instead with my big strong testosterone arms from my fellow men" like what even is that. Who is into this.
it's so incredibly obviously bad but it reinforces some people's victim complexes so it's praxis now
a trans person will joke about their experience and a trf will jump in to assume theyre a white transmasc who has never ever faced any real difficulties for being trans
every time
Out of the many, many stupid ideas in this dumb discourse, I've finally decided the one I hate the most is that underlying implication that transmascs just aren't trans enough. It's so gross seeing people imply that we aren't really trans. Our dysphoria is minimal discomfort at most, apparently. I've seen people post about and imply that transmascs will never understand not feeling like a person or being unable to live a life pre transition and that's why we have privilege, i guess - are you kidding me? It's like our experiences are a joke to these people who are clearly so wrapped up in their online discourse bubble that they're just detached from what it's like for trans people as a whole. Sorry for the vent (would rather not post this on main and I don't have anyone to talk to) but it's just the most grating part. Also it's like. Low-key transmed shit. Thought we left that behind, c'mon.
transmeds are like ants they come back every summer
i wish TRFs had a label they proudly called themselves so i could jsut go through their tags and block them, but noooooo they HAVE to frame their transphobic bullshit as Brilliant Transfeminist Theory. like atleast radfems are fucking honest about being radfems
That's part of why I made antigonism a label for anti-TRFs to call themselves~!
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bootleg pokemon advent calender review
so my mom got me this pokemon-themed advent calender filled with a bunch of bootleg figurines earlier this month and i opened the first door at the time but i completely forgot about it until now. so with it being christmas eve i thought it would be fun to go through each figurine for funsies because i'm utterly fascinated with what i got.
day one: muk
this was the only one i had knowledge of throughout the entire month. at first i was thinking "well if you look at it as muk's shiny then it could be passable" before remembering that muk's shiny is green and not blue. regardless, congrats to muk on the blue goo and pronouns. 3/10
day two: reuniclus
i can never spell this damn thing's name. i was pleasantly surprised to see reuniverse though, as it was evident that this calender wasn't going to just be filled with gen one pokemon like i suspected. gen five was actually tied with gen one for the most figurines with six, surpringly! unfortunately there's nothing after gen six though, not even any regional variants.
back to reunicorn, this is definitely on the higher end just for being the correct colour lmao. the bottom part of reunionize does not look like that though. 8/10
day three: clefairy
one of the better figurines for sure! while it's still evidently of bootleg quality, it could feasibly pass as official just for being the correct colours. her doing the little metronome dance from the anime in her posing is a nice touch too! 9/10
day four: tyrunt
oh my god they poured tar on him. why are his eyes soulless. he looks possessed. this makes me sad i don't like this one. 2/10
day five: dedenne
she's a little confused but she's got the spirit, i think. needs to be more orange but i guess looking like you're made of cheese is fitting for a mouse-like creature. 6/10
day six: miltank
ohhh i really hate this thing. i'm not a miltank hater by any means but this one looks gross and mouldy to me. girl go have a bath. 1/10
day seven: arbok
WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY GIRL!!!!!! SHE'S FUCKING NAKED!!!!!! sure they got the colour right but they stole her patterns!!! her most stunning feature!!!!!! she was proud of those patterns!!!! AND THEY STOLE THEM FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hatred and anger/10
day eight: primeape
i don't want to make any comments about the eyes since i don't have strabismus, but i like that they kept his anger. the personality still manages to shine through here. the rest of the figurine is just. whatever. not the worst but not the best just completely average. 5/10
day nine: pansage
sorry the picture is ass i don't want to retake it lol. confession: while i don't really have any strong opinions on the elemental monkeys compared to a lot of fans, i do have a bit of a soft spot for pansage because i think he's adorable. rewatching the bw anime a few years back awoke that in me, and i think this one is pretty cute too! something about the :3 face just gets to me. despite missing its cream colouring, i think one is pretty solid overall! 7/10
day ten: victini
behold the extremely rare and powerful mythical pokemon victini! truly a marvel to witness! anyway i don't like that it's missing its teeth but it's okay i guess. 4/10
day eleven:
i don't really have much to say on this one tbh? i like that they gave it a stand since it would just fall over with those stubby little legs i guess but i just. don't see anything to really talk about here. 3/10
day twelve: grumpig
not as soulless-looking as tyrunt was, and maybe it's helped partially by grumpig already having some dark grey in its usual colour scheme so it doesn't look thaaat unusual, but it's still not a good one. 3/10
day thirteen: slowking
gives me the same gross and mouldy vibes as miltank but not as bad i think. i like the pose. i don't think i've ever seen slowking cross its arms like that in any official pokemon media or merch so there's some points for uniqueness. 4/10
day fourteen: darumaka
my son murngus who i fed a ball. i love this thing. this is peak. we're never getting any better than this. tpci should make this official merch. love and peace/10
day fifteen: swirlix
this is my daughter white boy. while i have criticisms with the lumps being too pronounced (they should be softer and more subtle imo) and the lack of feet, i honestly kinda love this one? it reminds me of those pathetic white dogs that look like they'll fall over if you breathe on them too hard, and while the big bumps don't give the image of candy floss like they're supposed to, this reminds me of a cloud in a way, which is still lovely to think about. 9/10
day sixteen: beartic
who hurt you beartic. the colours are right at least but. the face. 3/10
days seventeen, eighteen and nineteen: croconaw, totodile, feraligatr
i got the whole family one after another so might as well cover them together.
croconaw: the sniler...... croconaw manages to be the definition of both creepy AND wet here. it's unsettling a little bit but it gives it some personality. 6/10
totodile: i do not like that mouth whatsoever. what the fuck. 2/10
feraligatr: i have to question why feraligatr is a slightly different shade of blue than its younger siblings but that's neither here nor there. it's alright but the eyes are a bit unnerving to me. 4/10
day twenty: chimchar
the only gen four pokemon of the batch, which is sad for me as a gen four fan. it's fine but this one lacks chimchar's signature flame tail. unfortunate since chimchar canonically farting out fire is a key characteristic to me. 5/10
day twenty one: gothitelle
i look like this irl. not really much to complain about with this one side from the lack of a mouth and the face being white rather than purple. i like the complete and utter torment in her eyes. i could fix her fr. 7/10
day twenty two: grovyle
dedicating this one to my fellow pmd fans! they fucking peeled our lad!! the pose is kinda cool though. 6/10
day twenty three: aurorus
this one is a falls into the category of ugly cute to me. they used the wrong shade of blue but it's still fine imo. i simultaneously like the eyes but also don't like them. i'm very conflicted on how i feel about the finer details of this one but it's okay overall imo. 6/10
day twenty four: psyduck
ngl i was kinda hoping for something special for the last one. maybe delibird to go with it being for christmas, or another legendary/mythical, but i've been rewatching the anime again recently and they are so fucking mean to misty's psyduck that it's borderline unpleasant to watch at times, so you know what? psyduck deserves this.
it's pretty alright for a bootleg too. they got all the colours and key details right, even if it's rather shoddy, so i'll be generous with this one. 9/10
if you read all of this then thank you for joining me on this journey. i'm so glad i spent christmas eve deciding to review shitty knock-off pokemon merch rather than celebrating with my friends and family. and i'm very sorry that i released these beasts from their prison and have made them everyone else's problem now.
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Re-watching Star Plus Mahabharat (1/?)
DISCLAIMER: Whatever I say in this is about the CHARACTERS as per the way this SHOW showed them. The show=/= The Ved Vyasa Mahabharata. Don't want any more controversies, lmao. IF I mention any canon event, I will state IT. So pls, DNI if you can't handle a joke/criticism.
Starting with a shankh naad and the iconic promo woohooo
show start karte hi Arjun ke darshan ho gaye. WAAH. No but really. The face card is insane.
Why are their mukuts dangling tho o_O
Me thinking why is Satyavati shown as a main character since she is js there for the 1st quarter of the story, but then I realized that the entire reason all of this happens is because she was so manipulative during the Princess of Kashi portion, lol.
Krishna posing to give me a jaadu ki jhappi ToT
Okay, we are greeted by some classical music. I feel so peaceful.
ANDDD now that I have seen Shatanu and Satyavati, my mood is ruined.
Why are they having an affair tho
Shantanu not liking being a king and complaining. Funny how his descendants are going to have a blown war to GET this burden, LOL. #richpeopleproblems
ANDDD now we are going to be shown how ambition is bad.
Arre, why let poor Satya get all the blame? Where is her Daddy?
Satyavati: im greedy af, Shantanu: wanna be yours *puppy eyes*
Ladki ka chakkar, babu bhaiya, ladki ka chakkar
Krishna being happy in his lil garden uwu
Bhishma arriving with his superman style entry XDD
There was no need to put his feet in that kichad tho
Hastinapur ki praja being tortured by Bhima's future in-laws while Shantanu is busy doing aashiqui haha
Satyavati being rightfully shocked tbh
Ok but I thought Maharani, aka Queen, is a person who a) inherits the throne and rules in her own right, aka Queen REGNANT, or b) marries a King, aka Queen Consort??? What does that have to do with whether your son sits on the throne or not o_O
Not all of them assuming that they will have sons, what if you had daughters, Satyavati
OK BUT SOMEONE PLS WRITE AN AU WHERE SATYAVATI GIVES BIRTH ONLY TO GIRLS, I WANNA KNOW THE CHAOS THAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT PLS
Bhishma willingly signing on a slavery contract LOL
Ok but Im genuinely curious. How will Satyavati be a good queen tho? She is prolly not as well educated as princesses are, neither is she trained to be queen...
Bhishma: Make Vichitraveerya Great Again (except he was never gr8 to start with, lol)
I see, even Drupad's Father/Grandfather is fiery af. Runs in the blood, eh?
Okay but wait a sec. The Panchal King is right tho. Bhishma cannot interfere in the matters of their state, even if HIS prince is the one to do all the shit. He is a criminal, and he cannot violate the rules of other kingdoms!
Srsly, Bhishma time and again, in both canon and the show, gets his will done by the other Kingdoms, who do not oppose even if it's wrong because they know that they will be killed. Is he an unknown bully, by that standard?
Unnamed Panchal King, you are my fav from now on
Ok so, this is Prishata. Okay okay. Noice.
Vichitraveerya being cocky af. There are some things that Bhishma can't protect you from, like TB.
EW VICHITRAVEERYA SPAT ON HIM
bro clearly lacks etiquette and manners.
I'm sorry but Vichitraveerya really needs the belt treatment
Bhishma comparing Vichitraveerya to Hanuman o_O
Okay but PANCHAL cannot punish Vichitraveerya for committing crime on their land, but BHISHMA can abduct princesses from Kashi without their permission? Hypocrite much, eh?
Not Bhishma using his warrior skills so that the other kingdoms follow Hastinapur's bidding o_o
this is unfair af
poor Panchal tho, why are they being mistreated so much like can't even punish a criminal who burnt their fields
OH WOW, So not only has Bhishma entered Panchal to stop the justice system from carrying out justice, he also brought an entire army with him?!
I bet all my life savings that Shikhandi is Prishata's fav grandkid, lol
Amba doing the same crime that Vichitraveerya did XDDDD
NGL, but Amba's makeup is on point.
What is Shalva doing with Arjun's earrings and Dury's mukut
Vichitraveerya is so incompetent, GOD
Hm, Bhishma, I'm sure 99% royals drink, both male and female. Surely they must not be drunkards like your bro, tho.
um....Kuru and Panchal are enemies? Since when tho?
OH MAYBE ALL THE KURU PRINCES GO AND COMMIT CRIMES IN PANCHAL AND ESCAPE WITHOUT PUNISHMENT HMMMM
Krishna giving pottery class lmfao
Satyavati is that mom who thinks that her bahu will fix her son.
Bhishma going to interrupt a swayamavara and take the decision to marry on their own from 3 girls, LOL. How tf is this dharma?
At least in the show, Bhishma is against this. In canon, he js justified his actions saying that this form of marriage (aka rakshasa vivaha) is upheld by saints o_O
Bhishma, I like you, but why do you so much questionable stuff in the first half of MB
#mahabharata#mahabharat#hindu mythology#starbharat#starplus mahabharat#starbharat recap#rewatching starplus mahabharat
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How you first met & how they asked you out on a first date (part 1)
Featuring:
• Saitama • Genos • Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
[Garou & Metal Bat & Amai Mask: part 2] [Flashy Flash & Zombieman & King: part 3]
A/N: Merry Christmas! Thank you everyone for reading what I do and supporting me, it means a lot. I always do my best to make you guys happy because I really appreciate all of you. As some of you can remember, I've already mentioned a few times my first post with headcanons, and here it is! Finally, after all this time, I can present it to you as a gift for Christmas!🎄💫🎊🎉
(I hope I didn't mess anything up, and I'm sorry for being a bit late! I really wanted to publish this post sooner but couldn't. We don't celebrate Christmas in my country btw) Unfortunately, I had to split up post into 3 parts :((( Alright, let's see if you guys like my headcanons! :) (I low-key cringe at them tbh)
And dear anons, who requested headcanons, do not worry! I remember about you and will post everything, I just wanted to have a logical "begining" for hcs, you know?
Thanks for all the likes, comments, reblogs and following me! I really appreciate your feedback and support, guys!🥰🫶
You can check my masterlist too see more of my other works.
Prepare for possible OOC!
(Sorry if there are any mistakes!)
And, most importantly, enjoy!!!
Both of you go to the same store, so yeah, you pass by each other pretty often
(Genos even starts thinking you stalk his sensei)
And one day there is a limited sale
You get to the shop just in time to see that the last napa cabbage on sale is left
You extend your hand to take it as you feel someone's arm grabbing the cabbage
... and of course it's a bald man who you frequently run into
You look into each other eyes, both hands on the poor vegetable
Spark, emotions, passion... a-a-and he goes away with the cabbage without a care in the world
(Alright, maybe with a care to buy everything before the sale ends)
The only thing you can do is to just hum disappointed and look at the back of the retreating man
And come to think that you romanticized every encounter with him!
When you finish grocery shopping and walk out of the store, you meet Saitama with bags full of goods
It seems he has been been waiting for something... or someone, for example, Demon Cyborg
Giving one last look at him and at the cabbage in his hands, you begin walking to your house
Suddenly you hear a man clearing his throat and a "Hey, you wanted the cabbage, didn't you? Sorry, I took the last one. Here, I splitted it in half so both you and me could have it."
You turn around and see him extending the part of the vegetable
"And maybe you can be my other half?"
You're surprised to hear these words and blink for a few moments, thinking you misheard him
Saitama stares at you right back with a poker face, so maybe it's a prank after all?
"Are you joking with me right now?"
In return Saitama blinks with surprised eyes and shakes his head, reassuring that he is serious
"Well, how about we learn each other's name first and then see how it goes?" you answer, smiling and taking the half of the cabbage
And that's how you find out Saitama's name and agree to a first date
You begin walking back to your house and can't help but turn around to glance at Saitama
Then you see two figures coming up to him... from the bush
(And there is a big bunch of napa cabbage in the bush?)
You immediately recognize Demon Cyborg and... King?! Or is it someone who looks like him?
Soon you hear men talking
"How did it go, sensei? Did my tactic with cabbage work?"
"Yeah, Saitama bro, tell us. I hope you used phrases from mang- phrases I recommended to you?"
Chuckling, you continue going back home to the sound of Saitama's irritated voice, "Huh? I don't even know what you're talking about! What are you two doing here?"
"Helping you with your love interest, Saitama-sensei!"
"I said I could do it by myself! And I did it!.. Wait, why is there a bunch of cabbage in the bush?"
"I bought all of this for you, master! With only one cabbage being left, the chance you would talk to Y/n were higher than-"
"Wait-wait-wait, how do you know her name?"
"I scanned her face and found a lot of information about her."
"Genos, you can't do that!"
"If it can help you, why not? For example, I noticed that Y/n always buys napa cabbage, so that's why we needed to buy most of them, except for one."
"Wait, we? King, were you in this from the very beginning?"
"Maybe?" *nervous giggling*
Yep, dating Saitama is definitely gonna be interesting
Bonus:
Saitama has a problem, besides not having a worthy opponent to show him an interesting fight
And this issue is... his emotionlessness
Of course he can feel something like irritation, disappointment, a pang of hope, ardor from gambling, etc.
But it's not something deep
So he is confused when he gets this weird feeling in his chest every time he sees you
And the fact that he remembers your face and recognizes you speaks volumes
He also starts to think of you from time to time
That's strange
Soon enough he realises that he likes you
And just accepts this rather calm
(thanks to his nonchalant demeanor)
He's also too lazy to think about dating someone, getting to know them, going out somewhere, spending his money on something...
Nah, it's not for him, so his feelings for you will fade away eventually
Spoiler: they won't, it only gets worse
Alright, so he should just walk up to you, ask you out, get rejected and go on with his life peacefully
Sounds like a plan
"So, Saitama, you're quite pensive today, what's on your mind?" King asks while kicking his friend's ass in a game
"Eh, there's just a girl that I like. I thought it was temporary, but I guess I was wrong. So yeah, I gotta ask her out."
King is both perplexed and shocked: is this really Saitama? Saitama who isn't wasn't looking for a relationship? And he acts like it's something usual?
Ah, it's Saitama, he is always cool as cucumber, right
"I see. So, how are you gonna talk to her? And who is she, by the way?"
"Well, I don't know her. We just keep running into each other. I will just go and ask her out. If she rejects me, then I'l just live on. If she agrees on going on a date, then I... I guess I will deal with it on the spot."
"Huh, in that case you should think about your words to impress her. Something like "It looks like destiny keeps bringing us together, huh?", or "I know we don't know each other, so why don't we fix that?", or "I keep running into you, I think it's because you're magnetic.", or..."
"I agree with King," Genos suddenly says, watching Saitama play videogames with the S-Class hero, "I also believe that lucky coincidences such as choosing one product, accidentally bumping into her, standing next to each other in line can increase the chance of success. Though, sensei, I know you don't need any of that, she should feel honoured to be considered as a romantic partner for you. If she is not, then she doesn't deserve you and isn't able to see your greatness, master."
"Yeah-yeah..." Saitama answers to both men
(he didn't listen to them)
So when he takes the cabbage right from your hands and hears your disappointed hum, he feels like a jerk (just a little bit)
But on the other hand, it means that you'll probably reject him and he can go back to his usual life, right?
In that case, he can't let the chance slide
While he is waiting for you to appear, he decides to apologize and give you the half of the cabbage after all
Maybe it will irritate you more and make you dislike him?
Oh, and in addition he should say something romantic-alike, so you'd definitely say no to him and he could continue his peaceful li-
You agree to go on a date with him
Oops, everything goes NOT according to the plan
But, surprisingly for Saitama, he doesn't feel sad or troubled with the outcome
On the contrary, he's excited and feels like it's easier for him to breath now
Wow, it's something new
And strange, but in a good way
Genos is always busy with Saitama or away on missions, at S-Class hero meeteings, at Dr. Kuseno's place, etc.
So he doesn't have time to date, not that he's interested in it, getting stronger and taking revenge on The Mad Cyborg is his top priority!
(Saitama and Dr. Kuseno are his top priority too of course)
Though, you unintentionally managed to catch his eye
How? Genos doesn't know
Once he just noticed you feeding a stray cat when he was going to Saitama's place
After that he started seeing you there again, again and again
Until one day he decides to walk up to you
Why? Genos doesn't know
And he just stands there, staring at you and the stray cat
You glance up to him and can't help but feel intimidated by Demon Cyborg
"Uh, excuse me, can I help you?" your voice comes out like a begging for mercy
He looks straight into your eyes
Even though his gaze is intense, you feel yourself getting lost in his eyes (as cheesy as it sounds)
There is something capturing about them, they are so cold yet so humane
"No, I just noticed that you regularly feed this cat," suddenly the young man speaks
"Ah, yeah, I do," you answer, breaking eye contact and returning your attention back to the cat, "Isn't he cute?"
All what you get in return is a simple "Yeah"
The S-class hero definitely wants to hear more of you
Why? Genos doesn't know
How can he continue your conversation without asking stupid questions? Or what if you want him to back off? Why does he care about any of this, anyway?
Young man catches himself overthinking for a first time in a long time
(silly boy doesn't understand that he always overthinks everything, especially anything related to his sensei)
Genos comes back to real life when you stand up, say goodbye to him and go… wherever you have to
He stands there, processing what just happened and deciding that there are some things that matter more than this
After a minute he walks away to Saitama's place
If only could he understand how wrong he was, not realising that it was far more than just a simple conversation
Because Genos starts seeking for any opportunities to run into you, to talk to you again, making your conversations longer and longer (and he is successful in this)
Even Saitama notices it and start teasing him about his crush
Genos denies it of course
But sensei doesn't believe his student and points out to young boy's attraction
(Saitama is desperate to get Genos spend his time somewhere else, besides his home)
"Just go on a date with her and see how it goes. If both of you don't enjoy it, then I guess I was wrong. But if everything goes well, why not take your chance? It's not like you will lose anything... Well, except for money."
"Sensei, I... I must write it down!"
In all seriousness, Genos listens to Saitama's advice and decides to go for it
The next day after this conversation he spots you feeding the stray cat yet again
When he walks up to you, he notices that you didn't have much to offer
"Ah, sorry, sweetie, I thought there was more leftover food in the package... Don't worry, I'll buy the new one and give you more food next time, okay?" you talk to cat, petting him
"Then it's a good thing I brought some… just in case," suddenly you hear man's voice and immediately recognise it
"Ah, Genos! It's good to see you again."
"Likewise, Y/n-san," he answers, feeding the cat
(and the corners of his lips are slightly raised??)
"Going to your sensei's place, huh?"
"Actually, no," he stands up, looking at you seriously, "I wanted to know if you would like to spend some time with me."
"You mean now?"
"Not necessary, I would like to book one evening with you to get to know you better."
"Can I clarify something first?"
"Of course, what is it, Y/n-san?"
"Are you inviting me on a date? Sorry for being straightforward, I just want to know your intentions."
Genos.exe stopped working
Really, your question leaves him dumbfounded
Why is he like this? Genos doesn't know because he always finds reasoning for everything
Well, looks like everything besides this
"To be honest, Y/n-san, I want to understand my feelings towards you and I believe learning more about you will help me with that."
As for you, you are perfectly aware of your fondness towards young man
And of course you agree to a date-not-date with him
(on which Genos realises he actually likes you)
Bonus:
"Are you really going to just sit here and glare at me?" after losing another round in some PSP game, Saitama looks up from the screen and sees a young boy who has been attentively watching his sensei for… the past two hours
"Yes, I need to document your every movement, sensei."
"But not when I'm just playing. It's useless."
"I wouldn't say so..."
"Don't you have some better things to do? I don't know, go to some meetings or... flirting with that girl... or whatever."
"Flirting with a girl?"
"Yeah, the one who feeds the cat."
"You got it wrong, sensei. I'm not romantically interested in Y/n-san."
"Ah-huh, sure. You totally don't look at her when we pass by with hearts in your eyes."
"I physically can't have hearts in my eyes."
"Figuratively. Just admit it, she caught your attention. You don't pay attention to others. So it means something, doesn't it?"
"Sensei..."
Seeing confusion on his student's face, Saitama immediately feels a glimmer of hope that Genos will start spending his time somewhere else because of... certain "Y/n-san"
"Just go on a date with her and see how it goes. If both of you don't enjoy it, then I guess I was wrong. But if everything goes well, why not take your chance? It's not like you will lose anything... Well, except for money."
"Sensei, I... I must write it down!"
"No, that's not what you should do..."
"To be honest, master Saitama, I think you are right. I have underestimated the effect that Y/n-san has on me, so I agree that I need to get to know her better. Thank you, sensei."
"Uh, well, no problem... but you didn't have to bow."
The next day Genos spends on throughly planning asking you out
(yeah, he likes to think everything through)
So, we all know that Sonic lives in the forest
And he has a special place with a lake and waterfalls where he likes to spend his time and think about... well, everything
Escape reality, you know?
Sonic even believes that he's the only one who knows about this magical spot
Just imagine his face when one day after the intense training he goes there and sees someone in the lake
Disappointed, he decides to make an exception and leave this person alone
Soon he'll come back and his spot will be free, right?
Well, yeah, but...
This keeps happening every time he tries to unwind under intense waterfall pressure
Of course Sonic sees this as competition
He needs to complete his training faster and reach the lake before this person appears? You are on!
And he manages to do that
Proud of himself, he relaxes under streams of waterfall
But there is one thing Sonic didn't think through: you weren't aware of your competition
So, you go to the lake to spend your time here as usual
(you don't notice a young man sitting on the rock in the waterfall)
You unpack your things, lay a blanket and get undressed, staying only in a swimsuit
Suddenly you manage to barely notice something or someone moving in the bushes
Soon you realize it was a man
Not wasting your time on thinking, you immediately grab your stuff and start running away
Your heart starts beating even faster when you hear him calling you and chasing after you
It gets even scarier when you catch a glimpse of this man chaotically jumping from a tree to tree with unbelievable speed
You keep running until you bump into something and fall
Rubbing your bruised area, you open your eyes and see the same young man in front of you
And he is... naked???
"Aaaaah! Don't touch me!" you scream, crawling away from him and throwing tiny sticks at him
"Hey, stop doing that!' Sonic brushes off all of your attempts to defend yourself, "I won the competition and came here first, so it's my turn to spend time here!"
"What?"
"You heard me. You were at MY lake every time I came there! So I took it as a competition and today I won! I came here first!"
"Your lake? There is no sign saying it's a private property! Since when it's your lake?!"
"I discovered it first."
"What's not how it works!"
"Whatever. I came here first, so I have every right to be there alone."
"And I have every right to be there too! Since it's a public place in the forest!"
"But I left you alone every time you were here!"
"Well, you didn't have to! Or you could put something on, you know!.. Wait, "every time"?.. You were watching me? Pervert!!!"
"What? No! I went back to my place!"
"... Just cover yourself already!" you find your blanket and throw it at him
Taking your blanket, Sonic wraps it around his waist
"Listen, man, if you don't want me coming here, just say it and let me go. I don't want any trouble..." you stand up and wipe away all all the dirt
He is about to exclaim, agreeing with the condition, but... he examines you and your body
You are... rather cute... beautiful... lovely!
Suddenly the thought of never seeing you again makes him sad
"N-no, it's not like that..." he whispers, looking away and trying not to blush
(he miserably fails to cover the pink colour on his cheeks)
"J-just... Uh.."
Why does he feel nervous suddenly?
Meanwhile you stare at him, taking in his every feature
He has beautiful loose wet hair and a sporty body which is covered in scars and in drops
And his face is so cute!
But let's not judge a book by its cover, right?
"You can come here whenever you want to..." Sonic finally speaks
"... Thanks? But isn't it the opposite of what you wanted?"
He's silent for a moment, "It doesn't matter. I just want not to be disturbed. That's all."
"I can understand that. Well, how about we just distribute the time according to which we will spend time on the lake?" you try to find a solution to the problem
"... Yeah, that makes sense. But maybe, uh... Youcangivemeyournumber so we could inform each other?"
"Ah, what did you say?"
"I said... Let's exchange our phone numbers?"
"Good idea, it's more reasonable than what I suggested."
And just like that Sonic dictates his number to you, says goodbye and runs away, disappearing in the woods
"Uh, wait! My blanket..."
But it's too late, he's nowhere to be seen
(don't worry, he returns it next time you see each other)
You'd think that this is how your relationship develops: quick meeting and texts turn into long ones
But Sonic is faster than that
So he awkwardly asks you out a couple days after this… "incident"
Of course you say yes, why not?
(or should I say "who wouldn't?")
Bonus:
For the rest of day Sonic isn't himself
His thoughts always come back to you, to your sweet voice, to your cute face, to your capturing eyes, to your alluring lips that he badly wants to ki-
Wait, what?
He is Speed-o'-Sound Sonic, the fastest and the most skilled ninja in the world!
So why does he feel like this?
Why he wishes you'd be here with him and watch how he trains?
Why he wants to amaze you?
Why he smiles like an idiot re-reading your sms "Hey, it's Y/n :)"?
Why he wants you to text him more? To be with him under a waterfall? To show him your kindness again? To spend more time with you?
Why he craves your presence and attention so damn much?
These thoughts live rent free in his mind 24/7
He even dreams about you!
The next day it gets worse
He feels like he's a obsessed maniac
(poor guy just wanted to interact with someone and be accepted as a normal person: he doesn't realize how lonely he is)
And maybe he has a crush on you?
Nooooooo, he can't have someone something distracting him now, can he?
...
In the end of day (literally) he admits his feelings for you
However, he can't just confess to you straight away, right?
He needs to take steps
For example, he should start by asking you out first
But how?
Should he casually suggest spending time together?
Or maybe just send you a text?
Or leave a note somewhere?
Or maybe he should show you some of his tricks and wow you that way?
Well, considering how you tried to run away from him... it might be not the best idea
And since he wants to talk to you in person, then the only option left is to have a conversation with you and ask you out
Now he has another problem: what should he say?
"Go out with me."
No
"I thought it'd be great to spend some time together one evening. What do you say?"
No
"Heeeeey, watcha doin', girl? Wanna hang out with me?"
No
"Y/n, I know I came off as someone weird or creepy, but I promise I'm not. Our first meeting wasn't quite what you would call normal, but maybe let's change that?"
Nope, but he's onto something
"Hey, I'm not a pervert and want to go on a date with you. How does that sound?"
No
Ugh, why is it so hard to come up with anything good?
Maybe he should just go with the flow and the right words will find their way?
Yeah, sounds like a plan
(little he knows he's gonna mess everything up)
When it's time for him to approach you and start a conservation, he feels like he's going to puke from nervousness
But it's too late to back out
"Hey, Sonic! How was the training?"
"Hey... Uh, good. And you?"
(he was thinking about asking you out instead of training)
"Me too, the weather is nice and the water is warm."
"G-good to know..."
"Alright, see you around, Sonic!" you wave him goodbye, starting to go away
"W-wait!" he suddenly exclaims, pointing at you... and blushing?
"Huh? What is it?" you stop, turning to him
"I... I... I'm not a pervert!"
"O-okay, glad to know so? I mean, I kinda figured that out, despite, well, you know what..."
"But I want to- Around you I- What about-"
"What?'
Taking a deep breath, he finally asks, "Do you remember how we first met?'
"Of course, it was just two days ago..."
"Let's repeat that!"
"Whaaa- No, let's not!"
"I mean... Let's, uh, start over?"
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
Feeling embarrassed, he sighs, "I want to take you out..."
"Eeeeh? So what's why you have a katana? To kill me?! Please, don't..."
"What? No! I wanted to know if you'd like to go on a date with me... But I guess I messed up... So forget it."
"That's a shame, because I'd like to spend some time with you."
"Really?!"
"Yep."
"You're not joking?"
"Nope, I'm not. Well, unless you are."
You can tell by Sonic's facial expression he didn't expect such turn of events
"I'm serious! I'll send you the information!"
"Okay!" you smile, giving him thumb up
"Bye!" after saying that, he disappears
"Bye?.." you say to nothing (again)
Though, you kinda feel relieved to be left alone since you need to calm your racing heart down and stop yourself from jumping out of happiness
As for Sonic, he spends a lot of time, trying to calm down and reassure himself that his dream wish came true and he's not dreaming
(yeah, Sonic is a blushing mess around you)
#opm#one punch man#opm headcanons#opm x reader#saitama x reader#genos x reader#sonic x reader#speed-o'-sound sonic x reader#saitama#genos#speed-o'-sound sonic#sonic opm
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.
#act 3 come through please 🙏#I don't think it can salvage some of the things I have contentions with but still... please...#don't ask me about the silco vander flashback with jinxs + vis mom#or the bizzare choice to do so much of the storytelling through this weird music video format they've got going on#completely stripping it of the weight these plot beats could've had if they were... normal scenes#and also missing the point of how the music was used in season 1 and what made it so effective#bc it was complementary to instead of replacing the storytelling#seriously don't ask me about these things I will spontaneously implode on the spot#whyyyyy would they recontextualize season 1 like this with that flashback#to me it kind of ruins the character dynamics and themes in s1. it just makes me so sad you have no idea#also what even are they doing with Jinx rn for real#aaarghhhh just... so many things that are making me scratch my head#also I'm so terribly sorry but I could not care less about Isha sorry lol#like i get that its sad conceptually but she was such a non-character that i struggle to feel impacted at all#same with sky tbh. i thought her role in s1 was alright but there is so much emotional weight put on her now#in terms of her relationship to Viktor but that was barely established so it's weird to have her around#and clearly you're supposed to care but they haven't given me much reason to#isha and sky were non-characters just there to die to further the development of other characters#they didn't really have anything going on on their own and that's just a type of character and plot device that does nothing for me#also i thought the war between zaun and piltover + internal struggles in zaun bc silcos gone would be the main focus#but that stuff seems so sidetracked rn#also sorry i dont like what they did with vander and warwick either. that man should've stayed dead lol#it honestly just makes his death feel less impactful and i dont know what this is supposed to do for the story or the themes???#that just feels like a pointless plotline that is taking up time that could've been spent on other things#i just... i could go on like this for a while like there are so many things that just puzzle me#it's so weird considering how tight and thematically consistent season 1 was#let's see where act 3 goes but... i kinda have a bad feeling about it ngl#obv im glad others are enjoying it and this is just my opinion! also a lot of this are probs just my personal tastes anyway#arcane spoilers
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maría for the ad astra zine! lc u will be missed T_T
#lalin's curse#maria lalins curse#maria navarro becerra#OUUAHHHHGHGGGGG#Stop i miss lalins curse so bad. ough.#sorry i hsve many thoughts do not look at these tags theyrre long#i always had a feeling it wouldn't come back but i'm still so sad like thats my daughter........ my kids.... for reals...... i was#around their age when i started reading and now i'm like 19 they shouldve grown up with us FUCKKKKK i miss rhem so bad. timeskip davias.#i think i spent like an entire year with the lc/delete worms it's one of the smaller fandoms#that ive been in so i'm surprised but also there was SO much going on in thzt damn comic. hwhere is church boy WHY VALOR THE BUS DRIVER#i remember getting ownership of the fandom wiki and spending an insane amount of time on the home page and fixing it all jusr for fandom t#COMPLETELY CHANGE THEOR LAYOUT i think that killed the vibe for me tbh. fanodmwiki alwyas at the scene of the crime#Whahteverrrrrrrrrrr#what ever man.#seeing it go is so sad like ik it'll be revived eventually but OUGH the comic was so well done. i still recommend it so bad even though its#a terrible cliffhanger (itd ok we know what happens)(Lie)#i still need to own delete one day. Ill learn spanishtrust me. idk isaky art changed my life so much i'm so glad she won snowmiku and got s#many insane opportunities I hope she always wins forever. rhe four other laliners that follow me i hope you are still here. hiiiiiii#putting this zine together with all my lc oomfs was so nice and it's such a nice farewell to the comic AUHH go check outthe others plz#okau over. Lc changedmy life sorru#art tag
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i cannot stop thinking about anissa and marky though [COMIC SPOILERS]
how did he react when he learned what his mother did? just like mark, he lived a lie. he thought his mother was kind and nice — the only thing that is true is that she loved him, but now, he has no idea if he should believe it
and. you've grown up being conditioned to believe that violence is peace, and that kindness is a lie and a weakness. you hurt people. by hurting a person, by destroying him irreparably, you found the boy you love most: your son. and you don't regret it. you hope one day, once he sees him, he'll get it. but you still don't regret it. you can't say you're sorry
marky will grow up without his biological father, because when mark hugs him he can only remember his mother and what she did to him. your father can't love you the way your mom did. you can't love your mother the way your father loved his
the worst part is, that it she hadn't done it, you wouldn't have existed. you wouldn't be here. your father will grow to love you. you will grow to accept each other. but you tend to wonder — if he never sees you as anything else other than your mother's son, then who will you have when everyone else you know dies?
#i hate anissa but also her character was done so well#like i hate her#fuck her#but jesus christ.#wow#i feel so bad for marky honestly#when anissa said “i don't regret it. tell him. tell him he'll understand when he sees him”#that shit hurt me#that was the WORST time for you to die girl#i was like “idc about anissa thank fuck she died” but then#i put myself in marky's place. and WOWWW#you gotta be strong to deam with that#YOU GOTTA BE STRONG TO BE ANY INVINCIBLE TBH#LIKE WOW.#thinking about mark now#imagine learning that the person who hurt you the most is a better person now#and that means she regrets kt#but then you learn right after her death that she does not regret it at all#you don't even get to hear an “i'm sorry”. not that you'd have listened to it#then you learn she had a son. with you. named AFTER YOU#honestly i can't blame him for allowing things to be THAT awkward w marky#i am so glad the reconciled tho I don't think I'd be able to live if mark's son hated him#tw sa mention#invincible#invincible comic#comic spoilers#marky grayson#anissa invincible#mark grayson#b4 anyone gets this wrong: I DO NOT SUPPORT WHAT ANISSA DID. it's just that marky's relationship w her is smth i would love to see explored
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Something I've seen a couple people saying is that they want to make sure that Laudna understands that she's not the only one who has been through trauma. But like. Laudna is not the only one who needs to learn that lesson. Actually, it's not even that Laudna needs to learn that she's not the only one that's been through trauma at all, because they're all very aware of what they've all been through. This became an inevitable confrontation when Laudna decided to let Delilah back in, though, and after rewatching the scene, I actually think the only people who managed this situation correctly were Imogen* and Ashton.
Orym and Laudna are both more focused on their own pasts with the sword and not thinking about each other. Orym should have talked to the group and come to a decision with them about using the sword and Laudna should have talked to him about it instead of trying to steal it.
*my feelings about this are still up in the air don't read into this too much
#our faves aren't exempt from having to learn these lessons and orym has also not learned this lesson i'm sorry but it's true#ashton and chet are the only ones who have even tried to deal with their personal shit in a semi-productive way tbh#i could elaborate on the imogen handling this correctly but i'm not delving into interpreting that ship so i'm not going to lol#that's another post people wouldn't actually like and it's because i definitely don't mean this in the way you think i mean it#i'm not saying laudna was RIGHT#honestly i'm not getting my hopes up about how this going to be dealt with because i've done that before#and it hasn't panned out in a way that i enjoyed#so we'll see how this goes#also tbh orym walking in wielding that sword was a ballsy move to begin with#props to marisha for instigating tough rp over it#literally laudna going 'i was felled by this blade' and orym going 'so was i' LIKE SHE WASN'T PERMANENTLY DEAD THOUGH#for a long fucking time#and chet saying that orym's lost more like laudna didn't lose her entire family and her entire life lmao#if ANYONE in this group might be able to understand orym's loss it's HER#i know people are going to interpret this as me saying there's a right or wrong to this and i'm not saying that#people acting like one of them had more of a right to the sword than the other is bugging me though#although my vote would definitely be throw that thing in the lucidean ocean#(i mean really i'm like USE IT IT'S PROBABLY COOL) but like if i were IN the situation it would be to toss that thing so far away from me#cr spoilers
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egodeath: the disappearance of one's sense of self, or the removal of one's ability to distinguish themselves as an entity separate from their social or physical environment.
#shook arts#oc shiz#takoshi (oc)#i told you you wouldn't be able to guess why he was so happy#i feel like i may need to give context for this#bc i've only briefly touched upon takoshi's over reliance on masking as a coping mechanism#as well as how he feels as if he has to conform to the expectations of others even if that means acting like a different person entirely#but also. idk man i think it kinda speaks for itself#now if someone were to *ask* me to go further into it then ofc i would :] but#for now i think i'm just gonna let the art speak for itself#also sorry not sorry about the next few drawings also probably being less goofy and more serious#i've had some cool ideas i wanna see if i can pull off#tbh getting to like. actually draw and not just do character refs constantly has been nice :]#and now that the creative juices are flowing it's so jover. i will never shut up about these two sorry (not)#oh yeah also. ik some of the proportions are kinda fucked up but uh consider#i don't really care enough to fix it#like this isn't something i'm trying to spend 8 hours on lol it doesn't have to be perfect :]
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.
And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.
I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.
But do you know what I found?
I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,
I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.
Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:
I was worth talking to when I was quiet.
I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.
So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.
You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.
(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)
#original#social anxiety#autism#that one post#actually autistic#self-diagnosis is valid - in case that last tag implies otherwise to anyone. i think it just denotes i am an autistic and not just an ally.#social skills#socially awkward#socially anxious#autistic positivity#autism positivity#like actually genuinely who does it hurt if i tell a joke that doesn't land? esp if the joke is not about another person#this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!'#which btw is a line i use when my own jokes don't land and it usually plays pretty well actually. i've got a higher hit rate but#genuinely they just can't all be good! anyway i go into that in the post linked at the end there i think#people can tell when you're not sure of yourself socially and a lot of folks instinctively use that against you. and i am here to say that#it's fucked up that they are doing that and they need to step off actually. imagine getting to decide on which social cues are#acceptable and then using that power to be unkind. fuckin gross. i regret so deeply each time in my life i have made that choice.#being a kid who is abused like that so often it was eager to power trip when i met kids more awkward than myself. but it was wrong#and i regret it. and i am proud to say i haven't done that in a long time and instead when i find myself with that power i try to say#actually what do YOU want? to the people shyer than me.#i'm pretty rad now is what i'm saying lol#like all the ways that having a good social stat has improved my life just made me realize what bullshit it is that this was necessary#doing what I did is not desirable or possible for everyone. they deserve just as much out of life as i do.#side note: i think I've actually surpassed a lot of neurotypicals who had never even had to think about social rules 🤣.#like I feel no competition with other people who have struggled socially but now that I'm more charming than people who were dicks to me#I do feel like fuck you!! I win!!!! I can finally see enough of the full picture to say that your arbitrary rules were FUCKING ARBITRARY#I'm also aware of the fact that not everyone finds me charismatic but i am. in all the ways that matter to me. and I'm still growing!#note to future jack: you did save these posts in your notes app on the day this was written.#tbh i am often still awkward i am just not sorry anymore if i'm not hurting ppl. 'confident and awkward' really throws 'em for a loop! XD
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I was organizing some folders in my computer, trying to make some space and what not, found some drawings from 2015, decided to make a little file comparing them (more like, putting them side to side)
from 2021 I don't have much?? for some reason?? in the folder for fully completed artworks
And nothing on 2022, but that's because the artworks from those year are in the folder dedicated to doodles (I need to organize that too.)
Then again the dates could be wrong, I've had some issues with my computer in these... eight? (fuck, eight????) years and I've had pretty much the same one from at least five before 2015 (even then, this was my mother's computer and I didn't need to change the CPU until recently, even then, most of the files have remained in the memory). Dates could be wrong.
Maybe I could redo some of my works before the year ends...
#asa says#tbh#even my own memory seems a bit fuzzy#I don't... really remember correctly when I drew what in the last five years#specially last year#it was...#it was a rough one#what with my father passing away and us moving out of the apartment we had been living in for more than 10 years at least#It was me trying not to think too much of what had happened.#even now#I try#because there's no point in thinking about it too much I think#but anyways#I'll see which old drawing I'll re-do#AL-SO~#If you recognize any of the old one#dear god I'm so sorry for any stupid shit you saw from me.#specially around 2017 I think#or 2016??? maybe#my kirby era was...#was...#uh#I'd rather not talk about it
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gonna be honest, while she is a wonderfully played character, i do not like karna as a person at all lol. usually i love morally grey characters but i think im too attached to amangeaux to appreciate karna's character. like the scene where amangeaux had to beg karna on her knees just to be able to flee for her life with her child made my skin crawl and was probably the final nail in the coffin for me
and that on top of karna without remorse offering up amangeaux's child's life, which she didn't even have conformation was the heir to vegetania, and then her speech of getting 'drops of recognition' from amangeaux for 'her own protection and happiness' i had no sympathy for her after everything she did. it felt like she was getting mad at a woman she was trying to take advantage of who decided to prioritize herself and her year old child, who karna just agreed to kill
like yes, theres the political standing difference between them, but by that time amangeaux had no political safety and was discarded by her allies, and only a few hours ago in the game's universe was it proven by their own actions how even with supposed political advantage means nothing anything anyway and just
her careless 'im damned to rot so i have no care what suffering i put people through to get to my goal' just rubs me the wrong way along with everything else
this is no hate towards aabria, she's playing the character wonderfully and every move she makes makes sense for the character she has made, it's just karna makes me so inherently uncomfortable
#ama mumbles#dimension 20#the ravening war#karna critical#dimension 20 spoilers#i dont even know if that will work but whatever#she just. she is so close to being a character i would like but i just cant. she makes my skin crawl and i rarely like the moves she makes#not bc theyre bad moves as a player irl aabria's making but bc shes just so. horrible.#sorry i know its not articulate but *gestures*#if i had more insight into her background it might elevate things but she just makes me uncomfortable#the only characters i genuinely like are amangeaux and collin. deli is interesting and raphael is funny at times same with karna#tho tbh he also makes my skin crawl at points. which is fitting i suppose both raphael and karna have a similar 'my goals are number 1'#approach so 🤷♀️ if raphael kicked it it wouldn't be the most upsetting thing to me#karna doesn't owe amangeaux anything but in the same vein if thats how she sees it amangeaux doesn't owe her anything either#and amangeaux was going to offer karna to escape with her! it wasn't like she was saying 'sucks for you lol' she wanted to take her with he#until karna rolled her eyes at her and was threatening her. only then did amangeaux stop#they're both littlefinger like characters i suppose if that makes sense? and he makes my skin crawl too#who knows maybe with time i can look at it more objectively but for now. bad vibes#also sorry for this being in main tags i'm doing this for categorizing and so my followers can block the tags#will say tho while the scene did make my skin crawl them yelling over zac was very funny
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napoleon movie was not good tbh
#script was not good didn't make a good use of history & didn't really justify being 2hr40min long imo#it had some nice cinematography in parts but.#idk maybe I'm just being mean but even as a long historical movie enjoyer i wasn't a fan#thoughts#i felt like sometimes also it was trying to do that sort of modern humor slant to history thing which Can work (eg the favourite) but didn'#also it was weird abt the french revolution in a way I didn't rlly enjoy but I'd have to chew that one over before making any serious crit#& my knowledge of napoleon is v patchy so I can't really say anything there except it didn't really feel like it developed him much at all#which. idk how. it feels like it should have done#overall an extremely meh altho sometimes pretty film tbh. idk#<- i did smile seeing the rain at waterloo though thank you victor hugo she is like a celebrity to me#sorry adding more as I wait for the bus but. how do cut the entire peninsular war & invasion of italy etc etc & still have it drag#also again i felt like the dialogue was quite bad but maybe I'm being too mean#esp bc the other people in the theater did seem to enjoy it ajskdjkgky. so who knows#wait i Will say that I did quite like the mysuc though. that was good.#*music#also we got a ship interior w middies at the end#the french revolution bit really did leave a bad taste in my mouth though
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my ex best friend always openly admired my capacity to move on from a show the minute it got shitty or otherwise annoying and looking back it should have been foreshadowing LMAO
#i'm so sorry#i had a couple of beers and i'm being petty as hell#tbh she still lives rent free in my head so whos truly winning here tbh?#i mean this was an extremely important relationship for me for most of my 20's so i think i'm allowed to take some time to be over it tbh#and i also think that accepting that it's over means accepting that a huge part of my life#once again my 20's (my 'youth' if you will -i'm still young i know that but you know what i mean-)#is truly truly over#and it's hard#but honestly i've been rereading old personal diaries and jesus fucking christ the way we've always been toxic like woooow#we had those high highs and those miserably low lows like this shit was crazy smdh#not even just blaming her because i was also needy AND avoidant at the same time which is an annoying ass mix#anyway what was it that john waters' dad said after seeing pink flamingo?#'That was pretty funny! I hope I never have to see it again! :)'#yeah that about sum it up at this point lol
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