#i'm so fucking sorry for the spoilers btw

[crispy-crust]

this took way too lonG but it was very fun to make!! o-o-woa-woah, o-o-woa-woah-oh! o-o-woa-woah, o-o-woa-woah-oh!

(feel free to use with credit)

[codacheetah]

Tell me your opinions on the stuff. Any stuff.

Grins. Smiles, even

I'm using you as an excuse to infodump my theory about the Island because I've had no in to do that, and my theory is pure opinion. Anyways:

THE ISLAND IS STUCK IN THE FUCKING FUTURE

(SCARE CHORD)

Hi so you might ask me. What the fuck do you mean by that. Well. Let's start with what we know about the Island, the King, and Wish Craft. (long ass post under cut. sorry)

The Island was redacted from the perception of outside world, via Wish Craft.

Wish Craft has the power to enable Time Craft. We see this primarily through Siffrin's timeloops, but also through the King's powers.

One of the King's powers is to show the saviors a "vision of the future."

...And this same attack is deflected back at the King by Mirabelle in ACT 5, in which the King is able to see the Island before being frozen in time.

...So. The King's "vision of the future." We're never told explicitly what this vision is. All we know is that it's apparently powerful enough to wipe the party in one hit, hearing it from a distance hurts your head, and that whatever Siffrin (and Loop) saw, they don't seem to actually be able to describe it. Even the King himself doesn't know what his vision entails.

We don't know whether the party all sees the same thing when struck by the vision, and Adrienne's answer to the question about it in the Reddit AMA is. vague? It's not a "no," and the specific wording makes me think the answer might be yes. But that's me reading into it.

Now. What do we know about the Island's redaction? The Island was affected by the wish recently, as in "like a decade ago" recently. We know that nobody in Vaugarde or the rest of the world is capable of thinking about the Island, anything closely tied to the Island's culture, or people on the Island for very long. When they do recall these things, they slip right out of reach. Particularly, the consequence for trying to think about the Island (or, more specifically, break the wish that forces the Island out of perception) is significant pain, localized in the head.

And that said pain is enough to become lethal, if pressed hard enough.

From here forward I'm running with the assumption that the King's "vision of the future" is not personalized to any individual, and is unchanging throughout the course of the whole story. Now. Remember the end of ACT 5, where the King gets hit with the deflected "vision of the future", and instead of dying, he recalls the Island and gets frozen in time? Very odd, yeah? Why wouldn't the King just die like everyone else does? He even does take 9999 damage when trying to say its name, like Siffrin does, and like the party does when they're hit by the attack.

Well. We know that he has a "true wish" that the ability to freeze Vaugarde in time grants. I don't think it's at all a stretch to guess that the King's "true wish" is to be able to remember the Island. My personal guess is that the King (and Siffrin) brought this "true wish" into effect via the "SAY ITS NAME" sequence- he even tries three times, a significant number in wishing.

The King (and Siffrin's) wish breaks, because it can't be fulfilled in this moment without breaking the wish to prevent the Island from being thought about. However. Consider the conditions at the end of ACT 5- the King sees the vision of the future reflected back to him, and what he sees is the Island. He remembers the Island, fulfilling his own wish, and is frozen in time. I consider this a compromise between his wish and the one binding the Island- the King gets to remember the Island, but nobody alive is able to think about it, because he's frozen in time; it's like the Universe is correcting itself (I WILL GET BACK TO THIS). The wish of all of Vaugarde to defeat the King is fulfilled, since he is no longer a threat, and Siffrin's wish wraps itself up soon after.

MY POINT BEING. The King's attack is a vision of the future. This "future" is of the Island, in some uncorrupted state. The saviors see it when he attacks them, and he sees it when it is deflected back to him.

The logical next question is "okay, so the Island exists in the future, but how do you know time shenanigans are even related to the Island?"

Recall a very odd series of interactions throughout the game, in which you try to interact with a piece of equipment that you already own.

The game rewinds slightly, before the item disappears, as the Universe corrects itself.

This is awfully similar to two particular events: looping back without seeing the death screen, and talking to the Daydreaming One about her sister. The latter is more interesting to me for the purposes of this theory.

In both instances, something is misaligned within the Universe (an item existing in two places, someone remembering something they're not supposed to) and it is corrected through some sort of rewind. Also compare the dialogue above to when you try to give Mirabelle the Stylish Bow when you already own it.

The world glitches, but Siffrin defuses the situation before the Universe has to intervene. Omitted from the screenshot is the fact that Mirabelle's portraits switch to happy from "catastrophically anxious" with no transition after Siffrin shows her where the bow is. Important to note is that when Mirabelle tries to recall receiving the bow, her head hurts, much like how trying to break the Island wish causes a headache.

The Universe leads you away from perception, and you can only follow.

My theory that I keep circling around is that through Wish Craft, the Island has been displaced temporally. The denizens of the Island, as well as the Island itself, still exist, but they are in the future. The Island is still loaded into the world, like how equipment is before you try to interact with it, and the Island cannot leave this quantum state, because it never actually went anywhere. The magnitude of the redaction event is so severe with the Island, because it is so much larger as an entity than a sword or a bow. There are of course things I don't really have pieced together, like why somebody would wish the Island into the future, how far into the future it is, or why equipment behaves this way. But it's the only Island theory I've seen that I have some level of confidence in, so I might as well lay out my cards for it.

[emolionsrawr]

*at a grant nash BBQ*

buck: *staring off into space*

eddie: he's about to say something really funny or absolutely horrifying

tommy: what?

hen: just wait

buck: did you know these two orcas trained other orcas to kill sharks by taking out their liver and testicles?

eddie: yep horrifying

tommy: wait, really?

buck: yup, off the coast of africa there's these two orcas called port and starboard and they hunt sharks to eat their liver and testicles, they tag team them, one goes for their fins while the other takes out the liver, so far they've taken down five great whites, they even killed khaleesi, who was being tracked and traced for research purposes

tommy: oh my god really?

hen: *looks at tommy and smiles*

eddie: *whispers to hen* he's perfect for him

hen: *whispers back* i know!

buck: yeah! port and starboard have even started teaching other orcas to do the same! so far port and starboards record of how many sharks killed in a day is seventeen!

tommy: oh my god, that's insane baby, what else have port and starboard done?

buck: well they also hunt copper sharks and some fish, they even chased the great whites away from africa for seven weeks! but this isn't even the first time orcas have done something like this, in the early 1900's there was this orca called old tom who would help whalers hunt baleen whales, he even tugged the boats into the right position to get the whales, this happened in the port of eden new south whales in australia, you can actually go and see old tom's skeleton in eden killer whale meuseum, and on his teeth you can see marks from where he would pull the roaps! and old tom even has missing teeth because the whalers had this thing called "law of tounge" where they would strap the dead whales down so old tom and his pod could eat the lips and tongues, on the night where he lost his teeth logan, one of the davidson whaler friends tried to bring the whale in instead of pinning it down for old tom to eat, and old tom was pissed and tried to stop him, and he lost teeth, old tom died from starvation, when old tom died they thought he was 35, but the davidson family swore old tom helped three generations of their family with whaling, old tom was actually in his 90's when he died, they called old toms pod the killers of eden which-

tommy: would make an amazing true crime shark podcast name

buck:

eddie:

tommy:

hen:

buck: *tears up* you get me

[thesmokinpossum]

I can't believe y'all almost made me pay to go watch po*r th*ngs in theater without telling me that the whole thing revolves around a hardcore born sexy yesterday trope with a side dish of pseudo necrophilia where a woman with the brain of a litteral foetus who don't have periods or body hair (but do have boobs!) find joy and freedom by having a lot of sex with a bunch of men, shoving a apple up her vagina for some reason and joining a brothel (but it's a cool socialist brothel and all the girls looove being there, don't worry guys), all of that written and directed by two men, I'm never gonna trust you guys after this one lmao

[12pt-times-new-roman]

c3e63

Within the chamber, there are remnants of rituals and spells that have been "abandoned."

"You are intruders within my domain." The air instantly gets colder. "Hevestro is not available... I am Evothorir, and you are in my home uninvited." The air grows colder and the lights dim slightly as shadows cascade from the ceiling. "Hevestro is mine. Omadua is mine. This valley belongs to me." A pale gray, pointed face emerges from the cascading shadow, the eyes a faint blue with a smile of crooked, cracked, elongated teeth. With an arcana check, Prism identifies that there is a fey energy to this thing.

Prism says they have nothing invested in Hevestro, that they can get the power they want then leave.

"You smell of... potential." Orym sees some little whips of red light in the shadow.

"Whatever happened, it freed me. I have no interest, for now, in leaving. I am home, and you are intruding... I know how you can help me. You can join Hevestro. You have potential — I want it."

Initiative!

This thing has legendary actions and resistances, and is able to cast at least 6th level spells. As a bonus action, it manifests one of the two glowing red orbs Orym saw, which turns everything in a radius grayscale.

As Orym strikes it, he sees that there's some kind of corporeal form inside the shadow, and assumes that it's Hevestro. When Prism hits it with force damage, the shadow dissipates for a moment and she sees a shriveled elven figure within that also takes the damage.

Ashton rage build update: When Ashton's gravity rage build is active and a creature within the gravity well tries to move away, that creature loses 10 feet of movement and has disadvantage on attack rolls against creatures that aren't Ashton.

With Seedling, Orym dissipates the shadow and uses the grappling vine, which wraps around the shoulder of the humanoid within. With a successful strength check, the body is pulled onto the ground next to Orym, and the shadow shrieks. Then Prism sends Dynios to cast dimension door on the body and teleports it next to Ashton. Now that's what I call teamwork!

Bor'dor does have sorcery points, and uses them to regain a spell slot.

Deni$e gives the elf a healing potion, and he wakes up. He's a middle-aged elf with matted black hair, tanned skin covered in tattoos, and lavender eyes. He's wearing metal bracelets, leather vestments over green robes.

With a quickened eldritch blast, Laudna gets the HDYWTDT! The shadow reduces into a tiny slug-like thing that pulls itself forward before Laudna squishes it. The red orbs fall to the ground and shatter.

(Have I mentioned? Socerer/warlock is one of my favorite multiclass combos because of the quickened spell eldritch blast.)

Bor'dor uses mass cure wounds and heals everyone up, including the elf. The spell looks like little puffs of blue cotton candy. (How/why does he have this spell?)

Hevestro sits up and says that he's responsible for protecting "her," gesturing to the obelisk. "Any solstice is a strange time, and in preparation, we were hoping to reinforce the protective wards here. I don't know how, but Evithirir, the Taker, seems to have escaped and come back." An ancient Gau Drashari named Omadua rooted here long ago, but Evithirir was drawn to the immense power of Omadua and they fought, which diminished him; he was sealed for centuries, broke free during the solstice, and slaughtered the rest of the people in the shrine. However, the battle left Omadua mortally wounded, and she spent her final years implanting her power and spirit as a fane of protection for the region, which has since become the Emerald Tree.

Even Evithirir didn't know why or how they were freed.

Hevestro doesn't know who Ludinus is, and doesn't know what happened to the bodies of his fellows.

"Gau Drashari... not Hishari. Definitely not Hishari." "What do you know of the Hishari?" "Not a terrible amount, just what the locals are aware of... there was a humble village of farmers and crafters called Tumilo — nice folk. But 50 years ago, a charismatic figure arose named Efterin. He was traveling from town to town displaying abilities and giving sermons about the need to reinstall the primordial powers within our world — a task that is foolish, as the gods scattered them long ago. Even so, he drew many to follow him, eventually settling in Tumilo and taking control of the town. Last I heard, the source of Efterin's power was likely his downfall, leading to the destruction of the village. The survivors scattered." The town was far west of where they are now, not terribly far from the base of the Udeespire Mountains.

Ahhh. Abadena was a survivor of the Hishari village, and has "seen the error of their ways," allegedly. Hevestro hopes that she isn't being "re-radicalized" by Ludinus, but she clearly has been, with her talk about a new rise of the Primordials. It explains so much that her beliefs were sourced from the Hishari cult and from her failure to learn from its destruction.

The Hishari were attempting to channel an extremely powerful source of elemental magic, an artifact or something that became a centerpiece to their cult. In not knowing what it was they toyed with, they couldn't control it, and it left a curse upon the land. Hevestro doesn't know for sure, but imagines that the power they were trying to access was sourced from the Primordial Titans themselves. But if this took place 50 years ago, then Ashton definitely experienced some kind of temporal displacement — so my money is on this artifact being a Luxon beacon.

"In the conflict between the gods and the primordials, it was proven that perhaps, such power should not be focused in only a handful of individuals. With their destruction and eventual dispersal in the presence of the gods, the lands were left to largely live for themselves, outside of the influence of the temples and the local governments. That's where eidolons thrive — that's where we thrive, and that's why this valley is sacred, why we keep such strong mind to keeping it as it always has been."

Hevestro is happy to teleport the Bells Hells (and the group seems ready to split up at the drop of a hat), but he needs to recover his spells first.

Prism asks what he knows of the githzerai — he's heard of them, but doesn't know much, only that they are from the Astral Sea (which he describes as an ocean connecting the disparate shores of the planes).

Off in a corner, Deni$e grabs Bor'dor, twists his arm behind his back, and says, "I feel like you're not telling us everything."

Yessssss Laudna brings up the mass healing word. That isn't on the divine soul sorcerer list, and it's too high level to get from a feat. It seems like that question gets Bor'dor to tell the truth.

He grew up in "Menagerie, not far from Demali." His mother, Demandra, was blessed by the Wildmother, and taught him her ways in secret. They moved to the city, and under the guise of being leatherworkers, stayed away from the eyes of the people of the city and the church. Once, when he went into town to get some tools, some rich kids started a fight with him and he hurt them with a spell, nearly killing one. It was an accident, but his mother knew they wouldn't let Bor'dor live, so she took responsibility. She believed in the gods, and accepted her fate because of that; but Bor'dor's brother and father fought against an entire army for her freedom. Demandra's faith, on seeing them fall, shattered, believing that the gods had let her down. So she handed Bor'dor her dagger and told him to run, as the last thing he saw was Demandra engulfing both herself and the guards in a vitriolic sphere. This was years ago. He fled to the Cyrios Mountains, used his magic to make money, stole and tricked, developed a reputation. Soon, he caught attention, and was asked to join a community, and was asked a question. "Do you believe in the gods, and what they do is good?" He said no.

"What community?"

He drops his guise. Eyes full of sadness. A pain that only Orym recognizes -- indescribable grief. He's 6'4, the gold of his skin is cracked and gray.

Bor'dor fires a vitriolic sphere at a little crystal he had left on the ground.

"I saw you, you killed my friends in Marquet, you were there!"

HE'S PART OF THE RUBY VANGUARD. y'all fucking called it.

"You cast inflict wounds on an angel!" "It felt good."

Two initiatives in one episode!

Ashton rage build update: While the gravity build is active, when Ashton hits with an attack, he can use "gravity well" to force the target to make a STR save. On a fail, the target falls prone.

"Just get it over with, just end it -- end it, Laudna." Bor'dor is a bloody mess, crying, and Laudna is in a "bad spot." She goes into her form of dread, branches erupt, her eyes go dark -- and a faint purplish hue emanates from her pupils, a hue that hasn't been seen in a long time. Shaking. "I'm really sorry, Bor'dor. I just can't stand having anyone else betray me." She takes him by the throat and uses hunger of the shadow.

It's an ability (Marisha has never said "cast" in regards to this, she's always said "use") with an attack roll that seems to deal necrotic damage proportional to Laudna's level (in d6s or d8s, I think).

Bor'dor feels his blood turn to ice as he fades to unconsciousness, and Laudna feels good. She almost revels in the delicious revenge, and just hears a heartbeat in the back of her head as she dissociates.

Prism takes more damage from the acid, and she gets angry. She had been given so much hope and fun from the idea that they were learning together, and it was all a lie. She clocks him across the jaw, intending to deal damage in the stupor, and Bor'dor takes 2 death saves from the fist of a wizard with -2 STR.

As Bor'dor's life essence feeds into Laudna's mouth, a mourning veil begins to form over her face. Orym stands, watching, saying and doing nothing. Ashton takes Prism by the shoulders and turns her away. Deni$e doesn't often feel bad, but she does, and unbinds him.

"Laudna. At the threshold of death, Bor'dor is in your grasp, broken and at your mercy. What do you do?" 15 feet away, she sees Orym in her periphery, and he gives a tiny nod. Laudna is barely present, the only thing that's going through her head is Bor'dor's words about the look of someone who knows true pain. It's as if her life is flashing before her eyes, but it's trauma -- "losing Imogen, the solstice, losing her friends, watching so many die, being hung on the tree, death upon death upon death, so helpless, so out of control. In this moment, she has control, and nothing is going to stand in her way." She uses wither and bloom to take whatever lifeforce remains in Bor'dor, and it's not Laudna standing there anymore -- it's everything she hoped she wouldn't be, hoped wouldn't resurface, but the world has broken her. She gives in to the darkness. She can't control it anymore. "A familiar purple flame runs down her arm, not seen since the journey to retrieve her soul. From the ground, the roots and fried brush that has been gathered begins to sprout vibrant green and flowers of white petals, blue roses, a beautiful circle of life surrounds the two of them as Bor'dor's skin pales and cracks. His body thins. In that moment, the apex of natural beauty rising with life, alongside the balance of death, you watch the troubled life of Bor'dor Dog'son reduce to ash and memory."

Ashton walks over, and Laudna instincually lashes out. "It's okay." "Ashton?" "It's okay. It's gonna be okay. Come on, let's go sit down." They gently lead her away.

Orym lingers by the body, reaches into his belt, and pulls out the locket he took from the dead guard by the Malleus Key. He took it as a reminder because he felt bad for them, and leaves it now with Bor'dor. "We're at war." He goes, sits in the dark, and stares at the remains of a Gau Drashari.

"Ashton -- what have I done?" "Nothing that I haven't. Nothing that... I think we're all gonna have some nightmares before this is over." "I'm weak." "No, you're just hurt. It's okay." Laudna just cries into Ashton's shoulder, and he holds her close with no hesitation.

On the body, Deni$e finds a crossbow, an envenomed dagger ("I didn't get to use it, I would have, I would've stabbed each and every one of you"), leatherworkers' tools, a ring and cloak of protection, an immovable rod, and a hat of disguise. Deni$e takes the dagger with every intent of burying it with him. There is nothing tied to the Ruby Vanguard, and everything that would've tied him to the cult was likely discarded intentionally -- implying that he knew who the Bells Hells were from the get-go.

Bor'dor's body turned to ash in the wither and bloom spell. Deni$e scoops up the ashes, digs a hole, puts them in, fills it up with dirt, and puts a rock on top.

This is the first betrayal of Prism's life. She feels bad for punching him, but she's also seeing Laudna and what she did. To Prism, when Laudna did that, it wasn't something to be ashamed of. She's angry at being hoodwinked, she wonders if the feeling of learning and growth alongside Bor'dor was fake, she feels the literal and figurative acid that Bor'dor through. She's standing in the corner with a broken fist, afraid to start a conversation, but Deni$e comes over and puts a hand on her shoulder.

Deni$e has all of Bor'dor's stuff and offers the first pick to Prism. She opts for last pick instead, and she goes to shout at his grave. "We were supposed to be friends! This was supposed to work out differently!"

Eventually, Hevestro returns, after his own walk of grief. He immediately notices the change. "It seems that these days bring quite a bit of loss in so short a time. I am sorry for what has brought you here, and what has happened since. But do not let this weigh you down -- not entirely. Carry these memories with you; they hurt, but they are a strength as well. At least, I have to believe that. You are capable, or you wouldn't have been able to save me from a fate that even my focus prevented me from seeing approach. And I have a sense... just in the trust the eidolons of this land have already placed in you, that you walk a fateful path. But you do not know me from your families, and I do not wish to pry. Let us all take a night of rest. In the morning, I will usher you to your destinations, out of gratitude for the kindness you've done me."

I don't know about you, but my favorite kind of DM monologue is when the DM is so clearly communicating their own feelings toward the party through an NPC.

Laudna is afraid -- terrified that killing Bor'dor has hurt more than just him. She fears that, as hard as the Bells Hells have tried to cut her off from Delilah, she has opened that door again. But Prism comforts her. "If you closed that door once, you can close it again... I just don't want you to feel bad because it made sense, what you were doing. At least emotionally, I understand it." "I feel like control is a fallacy. We've talked so much about it here lately. We've tried to control our concurrent destinies... I'm just confused." "Well, confusion is just knowing you don't have control... so maybe surrendering to the confusion will be some medicine for that." "You're very smart, Prism -- very capable." "Thank you. You're an incredible magic user, and I think that someday you'll be strong enough to beat this bitch (Delilah) back to where she came from."

"Anger and pity don't have to be mutually exclusive." Y'know, I am absolutely living for the way the entire cast has become so good at these one-liners.

Orym can hear most of these conversations echoing, and he's meditating on how complex and broken the centuries of history are between his being held here and all of them being there, and how complicated this conflict is, how so many people have different reasons for their choices. In the end, all he can think about is what was taken from him: the people that he holds most dear, in the name of philosophy or ideology or whatever you wanna call it. "In the last few days, I've lost my footing, and I'm struggling with it. Sitting here on the stone, I know that we're going to try to kill the people who took from me, who didn't care who died to get what they wanted. And I'll just fucking die trying if I have to."

A little ways off, there's a sketch of Bor'dor's family. Deni$e finds it, then she digs another hole next to the first one. In it, she puts the dagger and the photo, before burying it and putting another rock on top.

In the morning, Hevestro offers to take them where they need to go. Before they leave, Ashton asks to take a bit of the crystal, and Hevestro gives them -- and Prism -- permission. When they're alone, Prism tells Ashton and Dynios how she doesn't want to go back, and suggests that she and Dynios could just disappear without anyone ever knowing. "Sometimes, books don't get returned to the repository what a shame." Dynios approves, and Prism acknowledges that she's asking the wrong person -- Ashton -- on purpose. But Ashton notes that "the thing you felt last night, you will feel again, and it will not feel better. Most adventures will end that way, not the other way. You're pretty fucking good at this, and I think, maybe, if you try not as hard to be someone else... just be a criminal nerd. You are clearly good at being a criminal, and you're a nerd. You're asking me? I'd do it. I've done worse. And, yeah, I think you'd be pretty good at it." Dynios pipes up and asks where she wants to go, and Prism would go anywhere there are scripts that need decoding, knowledge that's being hoarded. "Actually, we just got back from Whitestone -- they have a massive library, and the lord of Whitestone is a dick, so if a couple books go missing..." talisien jaffe you fucking genius--

Also, there's certainly something to be said about the character development of Dynios specifically.

"You said don't run from yourself -- but right now, I think I'm running toward myself." Changing Exandria for the better, one hubristic wizard apprentice at a time.

Meanwhile, Deni$e is going to go back to Emon to find Dariax. Prism offers to scry on him. (I can't believe there was a whole-ass exchange about "messing up your slots" without a single fucking giggle--)

Orym takes out his sending stone to Dorian. "Dorian -- still alive, by the skin of our teeth. Want to talk more. You know where Dariax is?" Another d100, another failed sending.

Deni$e and Prism give their goodbyes, and both are thankful for the rest of them not lying to or betraying them.

They distribute Bor'dor's items. (Ashton wholeheartedly agrees with Deni$e leaving the dagger in the grave, which is, IIRC, a huge change from the start of C3.) Laudna takes his slingshot; Ashton takes the immovable rod; Orym takes the cloak of protection; and Prism takes the hat of disguise (which looks more like a bandana).

Hevestro goes up to a tree and teleports the group away. Deni$e goes to Westruun to find Dariax; then, Prism and the Bells Hells (after having Prism scry on the other half of Bells Hells' current location, narrowly missing the werewolf threesome) return to Jrusar. (Ashton remarks, "come on, family. Let's get the rest of the kids.")

In his final words, echoing across Issylra, Bor'dor "is at peace. I'm with my family again." He's put to his rest, here, in the mountain, away from the gods. Under the watch of the guardian spirits who first crafted this world."

[mofffun]

Takano Minato I just want to talk

[shuffleoflove]

won't be able to finish season 4 until tomorrow at the earliest so here's the current state of my bingo card

[zukoromantic]

Hirogaru Sky! Pretty Cure, Episode 14 but only Battamonda's scenes (because i am predictable)

[naotoacedetectiveshirogane]

I finished Marineford Arc.

There's a lot to unload here but I don't wanna mark as spoilers so won't say too much:

This Arc broke me and I cried like a baby, watching Ace protect Luffy right when they were so close...

Watching Ace die in Luffy's arms while Luffy begged him to live...

Watching Ace fall to the floor and Luffy break down...while all of Ace's family cried over him. Even Whitebeard started crying...

It's just too much.

Then Marco saying Ace will live on through Luffy, I broke down crying even harder.

WATCHING WHITEBEARD BUNCH THAT BASTARD WAS AWESOME THOUGH.

Then him....okay I should stop here before I do post too many spoilers.

All and all, this arc was definitely the hardest to watch, so many emotions...

This will be the last time (probably) that I post about my One Piece watching lol. I just wanted to post about this arc cause ik it would be the hardest for me to watch. Cause Ace is my favorite character after all and I love him. Luffy being a close second.

[waywardsalt]

okokokok so on the topic of botw/totk link having little to no emotion in cutscenes. ive said it in other posts but in botw it honestly makes sense given his present scenario and you are given a pretty good reason for it in the past. he's under a lot of pressure and he's just trying to do his job. in totk it does not work because he should have new memories now and he has memories with these new sages and with zelda and yet he's all but stonefaced with this people. there are some micro expressions and that's fine. but to me the problem with his lack of emoting in cut scenes is that it makes him very devoid of personality. he doesn't talk, so you're going to get the most of his personality from the way he moves and emotes, but in the cutscenes he just comes off as... dutiful stoic knight. with no meaningful feelings towards these people supporting him.

i'm not asking for him to be animated with all of these flourishes to give him some bombastic personality, but i just want to see him... react to stuff. see him express some extra emotion asides from determination.

people argue against botw/totk link having no expression by pointing out that he DOES emote quite a bit in gameplay and pointing that that there! there's his personality! and yes! i see it! and that kind of makes his lack of emotion in cutscenes worse! he can be and has been animated with personality and preferences and reactions and for some reason none of it is in the story important cutscenes! normally it's the other way around!

this isn't even fully about him having minimal expressions: i get it when people say it's maybe an autism thing, and that makes sense! i personally don't do a whole lot of expression when i'm under pressure, so i get it! that makes sense! i don't necessarily want him to have the facial expressions that skyward sword link had, i just want to see some shred of visual personality out of him in these cut scenes.

i mean... in ocarina of time, when the great deku tree is done telling his little story, you see that link has been sitting down. that's... something! stuff like the way he gets out of his bed and the speed at which he walks or runs in cut scenes... the engines oot and oot3d were done on can't allow for the same kinds of animations as botw/totk, but we still got little bits of personality just out of the way he moved his body. you emote with your body as much as your face. i may have a fairly straight face, but the way i may move gives away how i feel and how i act.

i wanted something like what we got in that first scene under hyrule castle- i wanted more of the moment when he gently takes zelda's torch because he knows her, understands that she may need both of her hands, and is willing to hold this torch for her while she grabs her stuff. you get a bit of personality out of that, you get that he knows zelda and how she works to some degree, and you get that there is trust between them because of this.

as far as i remember, this is the only instance of link being animated in such a way that suggests personality and his relationships with others. he emotes and is animated plenty outside of story beats, so he's very lively in dialogue options and little extra cutscenes, but in story beats, where he is interacting with his friends and discovering history and incredible secrets and trying to help the people he cares about and the world he cares about- it's all washed away, and it's kind of frustrating. i don't want anything big, just subtle little things, like his taking zelda's torch for her. something that isn't just him interacting with his environment and tepidly reacting- something that suggests little things about him and his opinions.

[artemismatchalatte]

I finished reading The Well of Loneliness yesterday and I think it will haunt me for a while. I read two articles about Hall and one on Woolf for my research (finally cracking into it!) and it only gets worse. I have read into psychology too which means I have the bad, bad habit of trying to find meanings and patterns in behavior of the authors I read as well as their characters. There was a lot of self-loathing which was brought on by the extreme homophobia of the era (Hall lived from 1880-1943 so late Victorian era to mid-WWII; she died of cancer two years before the Allied victory in Europe). 

She may have also had a major martyr complex (or at least issues with her faith since she was a Catholic). Her character was even named Stephen- for the Saint of sports and generosity- martyrs herself at the end in a bizarre ploy to make her girlfriend Mary hate her and ‘save her from the miserable life of being gay’ by letting her live a ‘straight’ life with Martin (who sucks btw). 

Martin keeps going after Sapphic women- both Stephen and Mary- and is like ‘golly gee, I sure wish these girls would like me’. (Get a clue seriously?) He freaked out on Stephen earlier in the novel when she wouldn’t marry him. I do not know why Hall was trying to make us feel bad for him, because I don’t. She’s even framing him as ‘a good man’ which I really, really don’t like. There are good men in this novel but Martin is not one of them. Stephen’s father is probably the best man in the novel because he actually loves and cares for his daughter (unlike Stephen’s mother who is scared of her and later wishes her daughter dead upon learning of Stephen’s failed affair with Angela). 

I guess I did not remember this book at all or else (I suspect) I read two different editions from this year and my first reading in 2012. This time it seems like a longer story but again, I did not connect with it last time. But maybe it was like when I reread The Bell Jar I had to be old enough for it to emotionally effect me. Or more unfortunately, I had be able to connect to some of the content because that usually is a sure-fire way for a book to fuck me up. The Bell Jar fucked me up after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder- the book horrified me to my core. Similarly, recently realized I’m most likely a lesbian so of course Hall’s book is fucking me up now. 

Also I don’t know why Stephen’s character (and unfortunately Hall herself) insisted on chasing women who most likely weren’t gay or bisexual? Una was bisexual, but after reading more about her obsession with the nurse Souline it doesn’t sound good (I’m sure other articles I’m going to read will also cover it). She knew full well that there were gay bars with real lesbians in her time (she writes about the various gay bars in her novel) and I’m sure she had several social connections and could find other sapphic women, if she really wanted to.

It made me feel really bad for Hall that she felt she needed to try to persuade another woman to love her? The horrible scene with Stephen freaking out over Angela’s betrayal (which was warranted) probably happened in real life. Girl, don’t do it. I feel like that’s lesbian rule number one: DON’T FALL FOR A STRAIGHT GIRL. 

My heart hurts for her even though she lived like a hundred years ago. Ugh. </3

[infamous-if]

I'm dumb and slow, thought I could ask this here (minor spoilers for the patreon q&a btw): when seven said welcome to the club, what did they mean by that? is it like, welcome to the liking mc club? I'm sorry for the dumb q😭

its not dumb! and for context i will share this one question publicly as a treat:

@7DidNothingWrong: @sevenlawless so how did it feel to see your ex is having an affair with Victoria Valentine 😬 anything you'd wanna say to Vic abt that 👀 For once, Seven actually thinks about it. Cory can see the initial annoyance on their face but she's relieved not to hear Seven's complaints. "I don't think they're having an affair," Seven answers. "Because you know MC better than that?" Cory prods, mostly teasing. Seven frowns, brows furrowing, before they shrug and nod. "Yeah, actually. I think so." "Oh," Cory blurts, pinching her lips. "Okay. So you say. And what would you say to Victoria if she were sitting here now?" "Um." Seven shrugs. "Welcome to the club?" To Cory's surprise, she laughs. To her even bigger surprise, Seven does too.

Essentially Seven is making a joke (gasp, i know) and telling Victoria two things: (welcome to the "dating" MC club and welcome to getting fucked over by MC club)(since victoria is now having drama/problems because of mc).

It's just one of those rare lighthearted moments from Seven where they're not taking it seriously. They don't think Vic and MC are having an affair so they just joke about it instead.

[thecowinblack]

A LONG LOST LOVE

Pt.1

Pairing: Y/N x Klaus Mikaelson

Summary: You have been looked in a chest for 200 years. A chest Mikael trapped you in. One day the Scooby gang just accidentally manages to get the chest open, Asking you to go to a ball where your husband and the rest of your family is going to be...

Warnings ⚠️: Swearing, a little angst, fluff, mentions to sex, blood and spoilers (Kind of)

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for choosing this fic! It's my first TVD one and I deeply hope you'll like it. If you want a pt.2 please like and comment! Btw just pretend that Astrid's just dead!

Prologue

Damon opened the chest before him. Bonnie had been able to destroy the invisible magical bonds that were tying it together, but it'd taken all her power and right now Elena was taking her upstairs to get some sleep.

"Just open it up already." Stefan or at least the Ripper said.

Damon rolled his eyes and slowly lifted off the top of the chest. Stefan stepped forward to see what was in there and for a moment he was mesmerized. In the chest law a woman who looked like she was sleeping. Her Y/h/c hair law outspread by her head and her clothes looked like they were from the 1800. Suddenly her eyes opened and a gasp for air sounded through the abandoned house.

________________________________________

You were awake. For the first time in so long you were awake. You could feel your heart beating eyes slowly opening and you could breath. Looking up, you saw two men, correction two vampires, presumably brother based on their looks. Suddenly you felt a hunger snap in your chest.

"Blood-I need blood..." You scream whispered. The taller of the men, threw you a blood bag, and as you slowly sat up to drink it you felt their eyes on you.

"Who are you?" The one with dark brown hair asked. Looking at you curiously.

"I'm Y/N Mikaelson, where the fuck did you guys find me?" You questioned them.

"Mikaelson? Are you Klaus and Rebekah's sister?" The taller one demanded you.

"Sister? God no, I'm Klaus's wife. You know where he is?" You asked them.

"We can't take you to him right now, we need more information, and we're not scared to force answers out of you." The brown hair threatened you. As you let out a low laughter and stood up, telling them.

"I am Y/N Mikaelson, first of my name. The only witch, vampire hybrid there is. I'm thousands of years old. How the fuck do you intend to 'force answers' out of me? You mimicked the brown haired voice by the threatening part.

"Look I'm sorry for my brother. I'm Damon this is Stefan. We just really need your help. The Mikaelsons are hosting a ball tonight. And our... Friend is going, no matter what we say. She wants to get more information about them, please just go and keep them distracted so that nothing happens to her and we'll leave you alone." The taller one, no Damon begged.

"Sure." You sighted.

_________________________________________

The dress: https://pin.it/73RwkmiWq

You were getting ready at the Salvatores hiding so that their 'Friend' wouldn't know about the plan. You'd chosen a long red beautiful dress with a slit that went far up your leg. As you put on your sleeves you heard a knock on your door and Damon stepped Inside.

"Well you look good, almost as good as me." He cockily told you as you rolled your eyes.

"You ready to go?" He asked. You nodded as an answer, applying the last of your makeup. He led you up to a fancy carriage and helped you up. The ride to the mansion was tense. Damon had filled you up on everything that had happened to them in the last year and no you weren't ashamed of your husband. He did what he did.

"Well look at that were fashionably late. Why don't I go inside and you'll come in in 5 minutes?" Damon wondered.

"Yeah sure." You answered him.

After waiting for a couple minutes you stepped out of the carriage and walked towards the mansion, your body stiff with nervousness. As the doors opened you felt everyone's eyes on you. You knew this was a vampire ball and most old and intelligent vampires knew who you were. A myth, a legend.

Everything seemed to stop when you locked eyes with Klaus who had seemed to be making a toast. A loud crash sounded through the ballroom when he dropped the glass in his hand and ran to you. Wrapping his arm about you, your lips met. It was a soft kiss, but with something in the background, a promise for more. When the two of you pulled apart, you saw Rebekah, your best friend walk towards you. You quickly pulled her in, even though Klaus wouldn't let go of your hand.

________________________________________

When the ball was finally over Klaus dragged you with him to his painting studio. Everywhere there were paintings of you and you felt your eyes tear up.

"Hey, don't cry love." He told you, wiping the tears of your face.

"We have so much to talk about." You sobbed.

"I think that can wait, love" he said pushing you against the wall and pressing his lips against yours.

[braxlrose]

i read your tom kaulitz weird and silly headcanons and i can't stop laughing 😭 wtf it's 4 am.. anyway will you do the same headcanons only with bill, pretty please?🤭 i know one hundred percent that this little bastard isn't so innocent what he looks like.. i'm sure he's as dirty as Tom 😭 btw sorry engilsh is not my first language ☠️ Greetings from Poland!!:)

(his skirt is so cute?!?)

Cześć jeszcze raz! Rzadko spotykam Polaków, więc cieszy mnie możliwość ćwiczenia języka polskiego!

also his skirt is super cute omg

silly and weird bill headcanons

cw: mentioned oral(f and m!recieving), making out, nipple play?, etc

-you are completely right, this mf is far from innocent 💀 tom is seen as the dirty minded one but this little shit would make the most dirty fucking jokes every and then act all innocent LIKE BITCH

-he's also passive aggressive. like very passive aggressive. pookie can't help it 😪

-the first time you, him and tom all got high together he got super paranoid and thought that you guys were all just figments of a dog's imagination

-when you guys are spooning, he reaches underneath your shirt and cups your boobs. it helps him fall asleep quicker apparently

-but sometimes when he's feeling like a little shit, he'll tweak and pull at your nipples and you have to slap him away. so then you make him promise not to do it again. spoiler alert. he does it again 😐

-hes an impatient mf so the amount he's burned his tongue after heating up a pop tart 😒 like bitch..just wait the two fucking minutes

-he loves kissing your temple and your forehead

-during the winter, if his hands are cold he asks if he can put his hand in your pants. 💀 like that's his exact words. "Can I put my hand down your pants?" he says it's because you're warmer down there than he is, but I think it's just cuz he's a dirty minded little fuck

-when cooking marshmallows over the fire, it's a 50/50 thing. Sometimes he's super patient and will wait and make his marshmallows a crispy, perfect golden brown color and other times he gets to lazy and will just shove it in the fire.

-he also thinks it's like the coolest thing in the entire world when his whole marshmallow is on fire

-he didn't know how to snap until he was like 16 and always got mad whenever tom could do it 😭

-he was super happy when he realized that he was the taller twin bc tom was allllwayyss talking about how he was 10 minutes older.

-YOU GUYS GOT MATCHING TATTOOS

-he literally loves getting matching tattoos with you, he thinks it's so cute and fucking loves it. somehow he convinced the both of you to get some dumb ones 💀

-when you two were little kids he used to beg the teacher to make you, him and tom partners. lil bro would get down on his knees

-speaking of getting down on his knees, the first time he went down on you he "accidentally" 🤨 bit your clit. I still say he did it on purpose though

-you guys know that thing that Gomez does with Morticia when she reaches her arms to the side and he kisses from her finger tips to the other finger tips? yall know what I'm talking about? WELL BILL DOES THAT

-he likes to sleep naked sometimes. because it's "better for sleeping" but I think it's just because he wants to sleep next to naked you.

-almost drowned tom at the pool 💀...multiple times

-him and tom make you sit by the pool and then make you tell them who's cannon ball was better. and this isn't just a like 16 yr old boy thing. they do this at 33 too.

-bill once stood up upside-down on a keg and drank it 😧. not the whole thing but it was super crazy. you later found out it was because tom didn't think he would do it

-he once jerked off in class and found a way so nobody would notice him EXCEPT YOU 😨 MF YOU WERE TRAUMATIZED

-he also doesn't know how to lock a door. so you'll just walk in and he'll be jerking off, or you'll turn a corner in his house and he'll be jerking off, you go to use the bathroom and he'll be jerking off. "I'm a teenage boy it's what we do!" BRUH GET A HOBBY

-if you don't know german, he'll randomly say dirty stuff to you in german. BUT THEN PROCEED TO GET MAD AT TOM IF HE TEACHES YOU BAD WORDS IN GERMAN 🙄

-he loves sitting in your lap when making out. like obviously he loves it when you sit in his lap, but he LOVES when he gets to sit on top of you and kiss you

-the first time he tried to give you hickies, he wasn't completely sure how to and ended up biting you 💀

-he's not a morning person, we all know this. so if you want to get him out of bed, you will have to drag him out by his feet.

-his dick is big. we all know this, but the first time you tried to give him oral, he accidentally slapped your face w/ his dick 😭

ANYWAYYSSS TY SM FOR THE REQUEST POOKIE I HOPE MY POLNISCH WASNT TOO BAD

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles

[lempeeartz]

Tell me - BKDK oneshot

(spoilers for recent manga stuff btw)

~

Izuku let out a weary sigh as the last of his students left the classroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts. It was finally the end of the day.

He stood behind the lectern, head now in his hands as he recalled a conversation from three days before.

—

“It hurts to stay and I'm sorry I couldn't be the one you wanted.”

“I'm really sorry—“

“Bye, Izuku.”

—

Izuku still felt so terrible for what happened. It was such a messy situation, and he felt so guilty. His partner had broken up with him and he hadn't been able to not think about it.

He hadn't really been sleeping either, and being a teacher now on top of everything was so stressful. He was always busy. Being tired wasn't an option, but he didn't have much of a choice.

Izuku was a horrible person.

What kind of guy gets into a relationship when he has feelings for someone else?

He's so stupid. Of course things would've ended up this way. And the thing keeping him up at night wasn't even the breakup. He didn't really care that his partner was gone. He just felt bad for being a dick, but he didn't miss them. Not really anyway.

Izuku stared around the empty classroom.

Ugh, he needed to focus on other things. He should probably be on his way home.

“You okay, nerd?”

“Kacchan!”

The sudden voice made Izuku jump out of his skin. He caught some papers that almost hit the floor and gently placed them back on the lectern. “I hadn't, um, expected you!”

Katsuki raised his eyebrow, clearly now suspecting something. “I was in the neighborhood, figured I'd stop by.”

“Of course! Right..” Izuku watched the other in the doorway. Katsuki was in his hero costume, presumably because his shift was soon. Why was he here again??

Katsuki strolled into the room “What's got your panties in a twist? You're so skittish and weird. Or, you know what, that definitely sounds normal, nevermind.”

“Yes, how original, Kacchan.” Izuku deadpanned.

Rolling his eyes, Katsuki leaned against the lectern. “Spit it out. Something is obviously up with you.”

Katsuki waited for a few moments before Izuku reluctantly sighed.

“I kind of got.. broken up with.”

The blonde’s expression faded into a softer concern. “Oh.. Damn. Sorry to hear that.”

Izuku waved his hands around, “No, no, I'm fine. Really! Don't get all sappy on me, haha.”

“I ain't being sappy, I'm just saying that sucks. Being dumped and all. Been there.”

Katsuki had said it so nonchalantly but Izuku’s ears perked up instantly.

“Wait what?? YOU were dumped???”

“Shit, wait–”

“I didn't know you were dumped! How did it happen? When did it happen? Why didn't you tell me? Kacchan–”

“If you shut your trap, maybe I'll tell you.”

Izuku's voice immediately cut off as his eyes widened in suspense.

Sighing heavily, Katsuki gruffly said, “I had a small thing in our last year of UA. It was brief. That's why you didn't know about it. It was really nothing.” He crossed his arms, not really making eye contact.

“But it sounds like you got broken up with– did it hurt?”

“Nah, it wasn't really serious. I'm fine, though. It's been a while.”

Izuku didn't want to pry more, because it felt so insensitive but.. it was a while ago. “Um, who was it?”

“Nosy little fuck, aren't you?”

“It's been a few years! I figured it was fine to ask!”

Katsuki smiled amusingly, “Fine. It was mind freak.”

“SHINSO???”

“JESUS– WHY DON'T YOU SCREAM IT LOUDER?”

Izuku clasped a hand over his mouth, muffling his apology before whispering, “Shinso?? That's random, isn't it?”

“Eh,” Shrugging his shoulders, Katsuki added, “I kinda just wanted to see what it was like dating a guy. I guess I kinda used him. Not for anything physical, though, I ain't a fucking asshole.”

“I see..”

Izuku was surprised by who Katsuki picked. Shinso’s, like, the furthest thing from who he could've imagined. Maybe it kind of makes sense though.. huh. Wait–

“You're into guys?”

Tilting his head towards Izuku, Katsuki observed him carefully before responding. “Yeah. I am.”

Izuku looked away from Katsuki’s intense gaze, “Oh. Um, same.”

There were a few quiet moments before Katsuki broke the silence.

“Yeah, you look gay.”

“Alright, that's enough of that.” Izuku rolled his eyes and got his belongings together. “Shouldn't you be going on your shift now?”

“I have some time left.”

Izuku glanced up at Katsuki’s teasing smirk and felt his heart speed up. He quickly averted his gaze. “Uh, I should probably be on my way, though. Gotta catch the train, right?”

Making his way around Katsuki, Izuku began to walk towards the doorway, turning slightly to wave goodbye at him.

Before he could make it down the corridor, though, Izuku heard Katsuki call him from a few ways behind.

“Hold up!”

Pausing, Izuku turned, “Hm? Kacchan, what's up?”

Coming to a stop, Katsuki scratched the back of his neck, “I just wanted to ask if you've been eating. You know, since the break up and all that.”

“Oh! Uh, occasionally? I've been a bit too busy to really cook or anything..”

“Geez, why do you suck at even taking care of yourself? You're a mess.”

“Wow, thanks? Sorry we're not all perfect like you, Kacchan.”

“Seriously, don't skip meals. I get that you're ‘fine’ but that's insane.”

“Did you just come down here to lecture me? Honestly, when you act like this it makes me wonder why I even like–” Izuku stumbled over his words when he realized what he was about to say, “Um like, you know?”

Wow, nice save.

“Like what?”

Izuku could feel his face reddening with every second that passed. “Like? I didn't say like, I said… Mike.”

Narrowing his eyes, Katsuki clicked his tongue. “Mike. Really?”

Izuku scoffed, “Yes, really.”

Katsuki moved closer, closing the gap between them. “Bullshit. You're a terrible liar, Izuku.”

“K-Kacchan..” He gulped lamely, “You're a bit close.” Izuku could feel Katsuki’s breath against his face, he was way too close..

“Am I? Guess you'll have to tell me what you were really gonna say to get me to back off.”

Izuku’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates at this point. Holy shit was this really happening??

“I… might've said that I can't believe I like.. you. Like, like you. Like, I really, really like you. Like, I like like you. I should probably stop saying like now–”

Before Izuku knew it, he felt Katsuki’s lips pressed against his own, soft but firm. But just as quick as it happened, it was over.

“That was sort of to shut you up, not gonna lie.”

Izuku snorted, “Yeah I probably needed that..”

Katsuki smiled genuinely as he put his hand on Izuku’s face, feeling the flustered warmth, and then wiping at Izuku’s watery eyes, “Christ, I think I almost killed you.”

The two chuckled as Izuku sniffled, tears now streaming down his face. He'd been going through so many emotions recently that now it was just pouring out of him. His heart throbbed in guilt.

“I just feel so regretful that I didn't tell you sooner. If I had, I wouldn’t have gotten with my partner— ex— in the first place! Maybe I wouldn’t have hurt their feelings.” Izuku hiccuped tearfully.

“Hey, it's gonna be okay.” Katsuki kissed Izuku’s freckled nose. “It would’ve been worse if they stayed with you. They saved their own ass from even more pain. And yeah, you were kinda stupid. But you told me your feelings now, and that's really all that matters, right?.. Then again, I probably should've said something too. Maybe we're both stupid.”

Hugging Katsuki tightly, Izuku let out a watery laugh. He began to feel like maybe things would finally be okay now.

(Little did Izuku know, the next day Katsuki surprised him with his new hero suit and Izuku sobbed up an entire ocean once again)

[fuwaprince]

👉👈 Hi friends! I have a long, serious post made just for you(!) that isn't full of spoilers, smut or mooning lawn gnomes. Please read if you can, this is a 💥 mutual aid request 💥

It has been a horribly painful and long while as most people following/keeping up with me know. and in a few days I'm going to be down $1500, which is basically all my fucking $

I can't afford Christmas for anybody, which sucks and I'm very sorry. I can't even take care of myself and haven't been, which also sucks and I'm very sorry

Landlords spontaneously raised rent on me more than halfway through this month as punishment for not getting to my house chores and not communicating, to be totally honest with you. I feel ashamed and awful about it but I didn't want to clean the place while multiple ppl living here had tested positive for COVID and kept walking around unmasked... I am not fully vaxxed because I've been too depressed to get any kind of necessary medical care done and I didn't want to catch COVID in the middle of my finals week for the semester. I woke up to being angrily and rudely bitched at first thing after the last of my finals (I passed at least). It wasn't a humanizing text. Fuck the mistreatment though. Rent is now almost doubled and it won't be lowered

There was no room for negotiation and I truly believe they've resorted to pricing me out of living here because the group of renters psychologically tormenting me wasn't effective (actually- putting a picture of my rapist on the fridge rly was super effective in getting me to isolate myself in my room all day and so was outing me as trans to the transphobic ass neighbors.... But I didn't and still don't have any place better to move out to, like the way they were hoping I would. Yes, I have looked and BEGGED btw)

I want out of here NOW, but I can't leave. I tried and had to come back because it was the best option. I can't afford to stay in a motel/hotel/BnB just to get away from them for a day or two during Christmas. I don't have any friends who I can spend the holiday with either. During the semester, I resorted to convincing classmates with keys to locked buildings to let me crash in them while they worked at night and I would leave before anybody showed up. Now that school is out, I can't do that. I don't have any family I can reach out to for support or friends who I can depend on for immediate help. I have been crying day in and day out for weeks. I have records of it posted throughout my blog. Literally crying for days on end. I'm being so fucking transparent

All that lump of text is to explain to whoever is out there, who might be listening and willing and able, to please consider helping me, if and ONLY IF able. I know times are tough and if you'd rather use your $ for other reasons or just don't have any to spare, don't sweat it and take care! 🫂

I've thought about what I could do for a long time and have helped myself how I can. It isn't enough. I've applied for so much assistance. Been approved and been sabotaged by my inhumane mom (who does not love me) via stealing my legal documents and letters and hiding them for months. My mind jumps to grim places but I'm clinging for dear life to whatever hope I have left that says things will get better. I wish I knew somebody with a business that I could work for. Part of me feels so fucking terrible for asking for help because I feel like a waste of all your resources. I feel like I shouldn't ask, like I really do not fucking deserve help, but there are friends online who care, who I know mentioned being interested in helping in whatever ways they can

So to the people who care to seriously me, I'm ready to accept it: please send me nice words to get through this and feel less alone. It feels pathetic to ask but I would love a nice letter. A nice card even. Kind words of any kind would go a long way. It means more to me than food. I have felt so broken and every day feels like a test to figure out how badly I actually want to live

I'm also leaving my cash app and paypal here in case anybody would like to do more than what I'm comfortable asking but probably very likely will inevitably need very very soon. I will be left with fucking nothing and I will have no idea what to do once rent is paid

Thank you to those of you who have sent love, offered to listen and heard me out. I really wish it wasn't so hard to survive. I'm trying to feel better knowing there are people out there who are also without help and hoping the best, but it doesn't make me feel any better or comforted tbh. I just wish the help was there for us. I wish there was a place to go for spare love, care, compassion, empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity... I need that more than I need $. Call me stupid but that's what I live for. I don't live for paying to survive in terrible conditions. I live for love and to smile with friends

I hope to write back to the friends who have already been so kind as to message me soon btw. I'm sorry for not replying sooner. Your overwhelming support is sincerely sweet and sometimes I cry because I can't believe people are so nice (to me???). It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like dying! :') so thank you thank you thank you *fist bump*

Hope you're all doing as well as you can and that somehow things get better. Hope anybody else struggling like me doesn't make the mistake of isolating like a sick and dying animal. You deserve love. You deserve support. Don't be like me. Have the courage to reach out to the people who care about you for help as early on into your emergency as possible. Don't let your situation snowball because you spend so long trying to figure out if you're worth it!!! This Random Tumblr user is here to tell you that YOU ARE. Sending my infinite everlasting unconditional love. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to each other. Fuck the hateful assholes who wish I would just kill myself already. Tell your friends you love them. Happy Holidays!!!

And here's a single picture of a mooning lawn gnome at the very end, as a treat! I told you this post wasn't full of it.... It just ended with it 👉👉