#i'm so TIRED sometimes
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I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.
You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?
Click on their name. And look at their profile.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.
"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.
"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.
Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.
Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.
Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.
I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.
Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.
#lincoln rants#I'm sorry but I'm at the end of my rope#I got a LOT of these comments on my Buddie Platonic Sugar Baby AU#acting like I was some new writer to the fandom#babes I've been here since the dawn of 2020 where the fuck have YOU been?#I am happy to answer questions! I love responding to reader comments!#but it is beyond frustrating to answer a question that if they'd literally just clicked on my author name#they would have gotten the answer to themselves#yes I have written more yes I am still writing yes I've been here longer than you have#and I don't mean that in a pulling rank/seniority way I just mean that in a could you please just CLICK ON MY NAME???#INSTEAD OF MAKING ASSUMPTIONS??? way#I'VE DONE MY TIME! FOUR AND A HALF YEARS! IN THE CIRCUS!#I'm sorry but sometimes I have to yell publicly a little#and I really do suspect this is people who are not on tumblr#so I am genuinely begging you#if you are on other social media platforms#PLEASE feel free to repeat what I have said#PLEASE I AM SO TIRED!!!
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made a sticker for anyone to slap onto their work if they need to
#ramble#i've only interacted with tiktok via osmosis#but something is eating their brain matter and it makes me sad#it's fine if you only want to read light things (all power to you) but don't whine at me because i write about bad people sometimes#i'm so tired
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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I want to see characters being taken care of in an explicit and worshipful way. Home-cooked meals. Hair brushed and braided by gentle hands. Little gifts just because.
I want to read about characters who are not used to kindness being bombarded by acts of service. This trope works romantically and platonically. Give me found family and acts of service - all the ways a character is wrapped up in wordless, explicit care after years of cruelty and having no idea how to handle. I need it.
#fanfiction#this is the 'comfort' part of hurt/comfort#but i want to take it to the extreme honestly#not just comfort immediately after a traumatic event#but consonant daily comfort!#being taken care of because you are loved always and unconditionally#this is the real reason why i sometimes read sugar daddy AUs even though i don't like them#i want to read about characters being SPOILED#this is also why i love the mdzs love interests so much#luo binghe is the ultimate worshipful house husband and i love that#my posts#you can tell i'm irrationally tired when i start getting tear-eyed over someone being cooked a meal
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I'm so bothered by the fetishization of twins and triplets, actually. If I could erase anything, it'd be the flippant references to this. :(
To be clear, I'm not pro-purity culture. I just- this one stings and I have to literally curate my experience so hard because of it
I can't stand when it's used as "code" for "queer experience" either because it's just positioning queer as "unnatural / evil," and that bothers the heck outta me when they're equated. Inappropriate boundary crossing, grooming, and abuse =/= insta-queer. It's like HMMM. The way ppl stan the crowley hookup when it's a shows canon incest kink interest squicks the fuck outta me and like...the whole Demon!Dean is a study in disinhibition! Disinhibition was shown as very evil / shameful / uncomfortable experience for Dean, like, the entirety of season 10...Sam even tries to comfort him about it. But because Crowley-Dean supports those sides of Dean ppl want in their ships, they overlook that aspect of it.
There's also the American-ness of howling at the moon and total "I do what I WANT" as being a good thing, when it's clearly shown as...not. There's gotta be balance, man.
Reduced inhibition is OFTEN used as circumvention of consent, as Dean recounts in his John-and-the-bar story. And disinhibitions are ofc not always a reflection of true self. I'm thinking of a neuro unit, where an injured TBI survivor hits on his granddaughter. Is that his "true personality?" Of course not! It's a loss of free will, judgment, and choice due to the injury and/or disinhibition.
And this is a show about free will, after all.
Drinking and drugging tend to ‘loosen you up’ by reducing inhibitions. But they remove your judgment and CHOICE about things, too. That's not necessarily free will. Reduced inhibitions can be enjoyable, but they can also create risks and dangers. Our inhibitions serve to keep us acting within an acceptable threshold; reducing these inhibitions can push you past the threshold.
Drug addiction is sometimes potrayed as "freeing" but ofc that isn't the complete story. Even so, the show doesn't agree that the punishment fits the crime. Like Crowley, Randy is complex, and he has real feelings and emotions for his relationships!
I feel like the Claire episode puts this in full display:
///
10x09
DEAN: All right, so I get there. I sneak in, and it is nuts. I mean, people are drinking and they’re smoking and they’re—they’re snorting whatever. There’s a five-hundred pound guy on stage with a Mohawk just screaming. And, uh, my mind is blown. I don’t even know what to do. Then this girls walks up and she says “Hey, why don’t you come over and sit down with me and my friends at our table?” All right!
SAM: Yeah, and they get him drunk. First time.
DEAN: But not fun drunk. I’m not quite sure what was in that stuff, but the room starts to spin, and I feel like I’m going to puke … forever. And right about that time, I hear him. “Dean Winchester!”
[Cas looks confused, but Sam just smiles.]
DEAN: My old man. I don’t know how, but he found me. And now I’m really freaking out, because he’s just standing there, not saying anything. I look around, and everybody else is freaking out, too. In fact, nobody’s even looking him in the eye. And finally, this one guy with, like, a safety pin through his nose and a—a “Kill Everything” tattoo looks up and he says, “Sorry, sir.”
---
[Claire is sitting on a bed by herself when she hears footsteps. The door opens, and Salinger is standing there. He motions for his men to leave, and he turns to Claire.]
SALINGER: Hi. [He finishes off his beer, then turns and locks the door.] It’s Claire, right?
[She won’t look at him, until he’s standing in front of her. He reaches down, taking hold of her chin, making her look up at him.]
You really are a pretty one, you know that?
[She lifts her leg, kneeing him in the groin. She runs to the door and tries to unlock it, but Salinger is right behind her, grabbing her as she screams.]
[One of Salinger’s men opens the front door to find Cas, Sam, and Dean standing there. Cas lifts a hand, and the man goes flying backwards.
--
CASTIEL:
Where’s the girl?
[They hear screaming come from upstairs. In the room, Claire is screaming, trying to fight Salinger off. He’s trying to hold her down, and the door flies open. Castiel is standing there, and Salinger turns to look at him, giving Claire enough of an opening to kick Salinger in the face and get up. She kicks him, over and over again.]
CASTIEL: Claire. Claire!
[Castiel grabs her arm, and she finally stops kicking. Cas leads her from the room. They walk downstairs, and Claire moves away from Cas.]
--
[Claire climbs into the back seat of the Impala, and Castiel sits beside her. Claire smiles.]
CASTIEL: Are you okay?
CLAIRE: Yeah.
[She moves over, laying her head on Castiel’s chest, wrapping her arms around him. Cas hugs her back. Sam climbs in the front seat and glances back. He turns his head back towards the house as he hears shouting, then leaves the car as fast as he can.]
///
10x10
(Scene changes to Castiel pacing in the bunker library.)
CASTIEL: She barely speaks to me.
(Sam comes into view, sitting.)
CASTIEL: She’s like a wounded animal, just watching me.
SAM: Look, Cas, you know what? You really tried to do the right thing that night. You did. This guy Claire was hanging out with, Randy, all he did was use her.
CASTIEL: Well, she thought he was kind. And for that, she loved him. Shows how little kindness there was in her life. You know, whatever Randy did, he didn’t deserve –
SAM: No, yeah, I know, I know. I hear you. Dean has had to kill before. We both have. But that was –
DEAN: That was what?
(Sam rises, surprised. Dean walks in from the war room.)
SAM: Dean.
DEAN: That was a massacre. That’s what it was. (Dean looks from Sam to Cas.)
DEAN: There was a time I was a hunter, not a stone-cold killer?
(Cas and Sam look troubled.)
DEAN: You can say it. You’re not wrong. I crossed the line. Guys, this thing’s gotta go.
(Dean looks down at the Mark of Cain on his arm.)
///
And 10x22
MR. McKINLEY: By suggesting my daughter was a slut?
DEAN: I'll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home.
MR. McKINLEY: You shut your face right now.
DEAN: And you know what? I don't blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her. (Dean looks at Mr. McKinley and in a very calm voice says) Joe, who did this?
#tw incest#ah the villainous incest trope#i'm so TIRED sometimes#like it's incest it's literally the fetishization of incest#usually it's written off as NOT COUNTING when it's women#and it's lifted up as heroic proof of queerness when it's men and i#I LIKE difficult topics#but demon dean is not portrayed positively#there's a balance between inhibitions and disinhibitions#like when your grandad gets a front lobe injury and comes on to you#that's not indicative that he secretly wants you it's JUST disinhibition which taken too far can BE THE REMOVAL of free will
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The polycules are falling apart
#Ultimate Impostor#Hajime hinata#Mikan Tsumiki#Ibuki mioda#Ryota mitarai#Nagito Komaeda#Fuyuhiko kuzuryu#Poly ship names are so difficult. Guess not#an art#Barely. I did not have the willpower I thought I did when I started this#Anyway I'm trying so hard to manage something spooky for the spooky month but. Yknow how it is. Sometimes you dont have the spark the energ#plenty of ideas tho!#Hearing aids go on the fritz. Pictures taken have extra shadows or a hand that doesnt belong there#Etc etc ugh I dont even have words lol. I'm tired
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Been thinking 'bout Fresh lately
If you guys didn't notice I got high on crack through the middle of this
#sans au#utmv#undertale au#dream sans#blueberry sans#reaper sans#Geno sans#afterdeath#sanscest#Reapertale papyrus#POODLE!!!#Also context for the Afterdeath part um god of death it isn't easy finding love#I've been planning to draw the idea way too long and um it still it just turned into crack#I'm on crack#I'm tired#and WTF am I supposed to do I do not know how to socialise I used to meow??#vrchat isn't as fun as it sometimes is#and how do I socialise btw#someone shit on my passions earlier so like I don't think#I had a sleepover at school so I'm free today??#um yeah sobbing motivations not motivating RAAAHHHH#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#dream is so pretty#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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*puts down some SAGAU fluff* come here i have a tasty meal for you :)
Childe often goes to the city to pick up supplies, as you can't wander into a crowd without getting accused of impersonation- he's seen the scars etched over your skin, the lines of starry blood from blades and burns. so even with the cloth mask you always wear, he doesn't push you to venture into any big cities or villages. you are the Creator, after all, and Childe- Ajax- wants you to be as happy as possible. besides, it's always the perfect opportunity to catch wind of any news floating around, both from his subordinates and chatter on the street. the Eleventh Harbinger is oddly quiet nowadays, completing his work in silence and deep thought, yet the agents of the Fatui swear they can see a faint sparkle in his deep blue eyes.
it's during one of his outings that Ajax notices that he has a shadow- a small, fuzzy shadow, a kitten trotting after him as he goes around doing his weekly errands. the tiny thing is determined keep following him, even though one of his steps is practically an entire journey to it, and after the kitten trails after him to every shop he visits, Ajax simply scoops it up in one hand and carries it with him. it clambers onto his shoulder and makes itself comfortable, periodically mewing and nudging his cheek. Foul Legacy is going mad trying to stay silent in the back of Ajax's head, trilling and chirping in delight at the new adorable friend.
you're equally as delighted when Ajax brings the kitten home, gasping and reaching out as he gently sets it in your hands- and just in time, as Foul Legacy takes over their shared body, nuzzling up to you and chittering very quietly so he doesn't scare the cat. he watches your every move and reaction, the warm smile on your face after all that you've suffered making his heart melt. your newfound friend meows, high pitched and squeaky, kneading biscuits against your scarred palms as Legacy gently pulls you into his lap and purrs deeply along with the tiny kitten's buzzing.
the Creator, an Abyssal monster, and their fluffy companion- now all you need to do is think of a name.
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#gi ajax#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#genshin x reader#childe x reader#sagau#genshin sagau#I'M FINALLY DONE WITH EXAMS AAAAAAAAA#i'm so tired i'm very exhausted#it feels so weird not having any work to do aside from packing#oh off topic but are tumblr tags being weird for anyone for a while#sometimes certain ones i want just don't show up when i try to tag them#weird#short scenario#wifi's brainrot#good evening
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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
#messyr#doodle#vent art#idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately#overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew#ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go.#And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk#Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same#well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough.#And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing.#I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope.#bpd#abuse mention
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the haters are trying to get me to care about canon. they're trying to get me to only fuck with canon. newsflash you stupid bitch if you are in a fandom space you are consuming fanon. i don't CARE that it's canon that bruce wayne has hit his kids in canon. i make my own world where it's common fucking sense that heroes are good people who would not be abusers. "human flaw" this my ass that motherfucker drives a Batmobile and wears a Batsuit and throws around Batarangs. live in a suspended belief and have fun before you dry up and die a sad raisin of a being
#while i'm at it i am so fucking tired of power scaling#“ok these two characters in a fight” how about anything else for fucking once#these 2 characters but they both have to talk to each other while waiting for the train because they accidentally initiated conversation#these 2 characters but they find out they're cousins and are like “how tf did that happen”#these 2 characters but one of them just watched the other trip and fall at Walmart#like yeah sometimes it's annoying when fanon spaces completely misinterpret a character#but sometimes fanon is just more fun or makes MORE SENSE than a canon choice#and i would prefer reading or seeing that#guess what my guy the world is not black and white it has so many colors#open and use the eyeballs in your skull#unless you're like actually blind#then i guess feel every emotion all at once and that would describe a color#erinwantstowrite#dc#batman#robin#canon vs fanon
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a little wip (cropped) for kagero's bday! missed drawing this ship!
anyway, i'm not really satisfied with the direction this one is going (happens A LOT) so i might just scrap it and try again some other time (like in a year lol)
#fire emblem#fire emblem fates#fe kagero#fe orochi#kagerochi#fe:if#fe14#my art#sometimes it feels like i'm drawing the same thing a thousand times lol#i guess i've drawn couples for way too long#speaking of which#i'm working on my day 6 piece#not sure if i'll finish today though as i'm still tired#this one was just gathering dust in my wip folder#started a month or so ago#i can't draw so much so fast lol
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Seaside town AU Eddie Munson who swears blind he saw a merman out by the pier, and Steve Harrington who really just likes going swimming with his monofin.
#his band are so tired of hearing about this merman that Eddie has never managed to obtain proof of#Steve's just vibing and has no idea he's caused this much trouble#they can laugh and kiss about it sometime down the line i'm sure
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there should be something like the bechdel test but instead of assessing if people can talk about women without mentioning men is if people can talk about characters without mentioning ships because so many people would fail miserably
#i'm so tired of seeing the same two ships being mentioned#when one of your favourite characters is popular but 99% of the content is people claiming everything they do is because they're#romantically interested in someone else to the point of stripping layers of their character </3#like. maybe sometimes people have a personality 😭#also why is everything romantic!!!! i'm so tired *aroace and fuck amatonormativity beams* 😤#or *normal beam* actually
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hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.
yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.
because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.
but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.
because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."
and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.
is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.
just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.
#eliot posts#suicide mention#animal abuse mention#i guess#ive said similar before and i just said this in the tags of another post but it deserves its own post#i am fucking TIRED of reading this shit so often#i frequently block people for saying it#sometimes i report ppl over it too if they're shitty in other ways too#i luckily don't have the ''i'm a worthless piece of shit and deserve the death penalty'' flavour of depression#but i do have the ''life is endless suffering and i want to euthanize myself'' variety of depression (or. technically bipolar.)#and reading the phrase kys Feels Bad Man w my mental illness#and i have froends w the first type and i worry about them#and one of em has told me it does affect them quite negatively to read kys#so yeah! fucking stop it!
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Death of your values and destruction of yourself
"Well would you look at that. The little robin tumbled out of its nest has it?" Shego's voice echoed playfully in the warehouse.
Robin jumped slightly, almost unnoticeable. flinching? No, he didn't just flinch he jumped. Shoulders tense already in a battle ready stance.
Danny paused in his approach. His head tilting because, Just what in the ancients names was he wearing and why was it familiar? That armor those colors that copper orange covering half of it.
What was up with Robin?
While Shego was busy wracking his mind about what could possibly have happened in the short amount of time he had left. Robin was subtly looking around but flinched when the wooden boards creaked from under Danny shifting his weight.
He hadn't just flinched in surprise but he jumped in what, fear? Of him, since when? " The glorified green secretary? " The Titan brats called him that so often that even the press picked it up! He was a highly qualified respectable henchmen!
Shego jumped down from his previously hidden perch atop the wooden crates. Coming out of the shadows behind Robin.
The kid's tense shoulders tensed even further quickly twerling around birdarangs no X's flying at him! Shego ei Danny dodged quickly. Ducking his head and got closer instead of away from Robin.
Shego who used to be Danny phantom. The phantom menace and a teen ghost hero immediately knew that something was seriously wrong with Robin. Something was up with the bird brat.
Because Shego would also behave like that when the status quo changed. When the status quo with roughs changes and suddenly all the shaky unsaid rules with roughs change.
Heroes and villains dance a dangerously deadly delicate tango with each other.
So when the villains suddenly start doing the macarena together you know shits about to be, well weird if not deadly.
And it's when Shego's countering Robins high kick that he finally recognizes just what it is the kid is wearing. The whites of shego's mask narrow and just for a second his grip on the teen fist hardens. For the split second it does Shego pulls the kid close to his face. Both of their white slit mask covered eyes meet.
It's a mother fucking Deathstroke mini suit. Danny feels like he's about to burst a fucking vain.
" Kid do you have any idea about what that suit means? " Shego says it calmly, levelled. He doesn't shout in his anger but oh how Danny desperately wants to.
The child remains silent but he has stopped his fighting to get free. It's quiet for a beat and when it's clear Shego won't get an answer.
" It means destruction Robin, It means death."
. . .
#dpxdc#shego au#shego danny#teen titans#Robin's Slade debacle#Danny has worked with Slade before#he may not like him as a person but damn if he ain't good at his Job#their circles sometimes overlaps#But he so has a bone to pick with Deathstroke#and Danny is seriously considering kidnapping Robin and framing it as an ransom#evil henchman#evil henchmen/ assistant danny#danny shego#if things wrong I'm tired and desperately need sleep Zzz
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companionship and understanding happy pride from my beloveds!!
open for better quality | no reposts
#kaveh#alhaitham#kavetham#genshin impact#fanart#myart#doodle#at first i was like 'i hope yall don't get tired of me posting so often' and then i remembered this other artist whose art i enjoy-#and they post often too but i love having so much of their art to scroll through so. i'm not worried anymore hahaha#i actually struggled so much w/ the composition here!! but i let it sit for a day and came back to change the frame and now it's fine#and i know i've drawn angst before but when i draw smth like this i always make it a point to depict a kaveh that is exuding happiness#it can be hard to accept yourself and your identity and at least in these pieces i want kaveh to be proof of queer joy#or more specifically. aromantic joy#bc sometimes it can be hard to believe it exists but maybe seeing it can help you believe it's out there#i also don't think i've ever went into detail about my kaveh and why i hc him as arospec? maybe i should do that sometime
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