#i'm putting these tags in just because they are also important

[romanarose]

Beyond a blank slate reader

Hello everyone! There's been some wonderful discussions about inclusivity in the PPCU recently and I highly encourage them to keep on! A lot of it how certain phrases can code a reader as white, like "you blushed" etc. It's important to try and make your reader as inclusive as possible!

But I wanted to share some stories that aren't just a blank slate reader, but are my attempt to make people not only not feel excluded, but specifically included.

A lot of this is stuff i wrote because I wanted to see myself, like jewish or transmasc readers, in fics. Others I wrote because I want others to have that same feeling. That not only can you put yourself in the story, but you can actually see it clearly there.

I'll be honest, this came after getting an anon calling me not one but two slurs (three? They repeated one with a shortened version lol) and I wanted to be EVEN MORE LOUD about writing trans characters. i figured why not highlight all sorts of things that readers might like to read that are hard to find!

I've also included anything I think is under represented, like Boston!Joel with no age gap reader, or plus sized readers.

Below will be fics with readers and OC's with different gender identities, race, ethnicity, religion, and disabilties.

Most are Pedro Pascal and Oscar Isaac, but there's some with the other triple frontier boys <3

And to be clear, there is NOTHING wrong with a blank slate. MOST of what I write is blank slate. But you can absolutly be descriptive as long as you are tagging properly! And you can write for more than just no descripters. I am white, but I have no desire to only ever write white characters. We can all branch out and learn.

I've asked this before, what representation specifically do YOU want to see? Drop in my inbox, and I'll consider it, as going forward I think I'm more interested in x oc rather than x reader.

Last year I tried to compile a list of explicitly non-white fics by other writers and only got two people replying so it didnt go anywhere, but I'm going to try again this weekend! That way I can highlight not just myself.

Moon Knight

Seattle (Series): Marc Spector x Jewish!fem!OC. Marc trying to help Rebecca leave an abusive relationship.

Both of Us: Marc Spector x muslism!fem!Reader. Reader and Marc expecting a baby <3

The Times, they are a-chang'n: Marc Spector x Jewish!fem!Reader

Steven With A Non-Verbal reader: Steven Grant with selectively mute reader.

Marc with a Plus Sized reader: Marc Spector x plus sized! reader. Reader

Her Hair Reminds Me of a Warm Safe Place: Marc Spector x Layla El-Faouly. I didn't add every Marc x Layla here but I wrote this one specifically for my friend Clem who is arab and curly haired like Layla and has so much joy seeing Layla and her curls on screen, so I emphasized Marc finding safety in her.

Moon Boys with an agoraphobic reader: Headcanons of a reader with agoraphobia

I wrote one with Steven with a reader with ocd but i cant fucking find it so if you see it lmk lol

Triple Frontier

If You Wanna be Wild: Javier Pena x Latina!fem!Reader/oc x Santiago Garcia. Javier gets a new partner, a young Santi, and they go after Lorea together. He does not account for both of them sleeping with the same prositute. Partway through, "reader" became more of an oc, but the description is clear. She's latina and Colombian, curly hair. When I start moving everything to my new blog I'll just edit everything as an OC.

Big Boys Don't Cry: Trans! Santiago Garcia x transmasc!reader

Santi With a Curly Haired Reader: Just what it says. Not explicitly POC but can easily imagine if you have curly hair no matter the race.

See more at the bottom about the leather and lace universe

The Last of Us

Darkness on the Edge of Town: Joel Miller x older!fem!reader. By older, I mean she's the same age as Joel in boston, post-menopause. Joel saves a woman from FEDRA guards and they are stuck together in his apartment during a lockdown.

Lights: Joel Miller x jewish!fem!reader. Jackson!Joel asks out Jewish!reader

About a Girl: Joel Miller x trans!fem!reader. Joel, a single dad of a kindergarten aged Sarah, meets Blue, and is instantly attracted, but he doesn't know she's trans yet. Heavy on themes of found family, domestic abuse to Joel, addiction, transphobia.

Joel Takes a Strap: Joel x trans!masc!reader. Is exactly what it says LOL

The River: Joel Miller x black!fem!reader. Sarah's mom reader, Joel and you lose your virginities together, Sarah is conceived.

Happy Birthday, Joel: Trans!Joel x male!reader. You and Joel pic out a new name for him.

Santa Joel-y: Joel Miller x plus sized!Fem!Reader. Joel is feeling down about his weight gain, reader cheers him up.

Narcos

If You Wanna be Wild: Javier Pena x Latina!fem!Reader/oc x Santiago Garcia. Partway through, "reader" became more of an oc, but the description is clear. She's latina and Colombian, curly hair. When I start moving everything to my new blog I'll just edit everything as an OC. Javier gets a new partner, a young Santi, and they go after Lorea together. He does not account for both of them sleeping with the same prositute.

Leather and Lace universe (Triple Frontier)

Putting this at the bottom because it's my baby and i know I promo it a lot so I wanted to give people a chance to see the other stuff.

Leather and Lace universe started with Just writing the series leather and Lace. I wasn't ready to let go of the characters i created, so I branched off with Frankie and Jana's story. now it's an anthology.

Each series can be read seperately, but are best all together because there are side arches. Each series is a different TF boy and their OC, each OC is wildly varied.

The full LaL masterlist with chronological pieces here if you want to read it all to date, OR you can look below for one that fits your tastes.

Please be mindful of warnings of each. heavy themes of domestic violence, rape, addiction, and child abuse are present.

Leather and Lace: Santiago Garcia x oc, Laci. The Tf boys find laci in Colombia, a victim of sex trafficking and they rescue her. She's deeply traumatized, but Santi is there to help her every step. Santi is coded to be autistic and is non-verbal often (more in the begining, she talks more as her anxiety eases.) and she has severe PTSD.

Take Your Time: Francisco Morales x oc, Jana. frankie is struggling to stay sober. Despite his attempts to push people away, Jana won't allow him to lose himself in addiction and depression, for his own and for their daughter's sake. Jana is a bisexual icon, and Afro-latina.

For the Longest Time: William Miller x OC, Lorelei. Lorelei and Will keep accidentally meeting. Suspicious and often judgmental, Lorelei is hesitant to let Will and his friends in. She learns she can trust them, and they learn she has a heart of gold and is the most loyal friend you could have. Lorelei is Vietnamese.

Coming soon... No Surrender: Ben Miller x oc, Cam. Join the tag list! Stuck in an abusive relationship and drinking heavily, Ben is just trying to get through this harvest and sell the family farm. Will calls in the only person he thinks can help his brother. Cam is Scottish and part Vietnamese (1/4), and has a hearing aid.

If any incorrect, outdated, or offensive langauge was used in any of these descripters, please let me know! I do my best to research and ask people in any groups I am not a part of, but I know things can slip through and I will never be above being corrected

Thank you for taking the time to read my works! If you are so inclinced, check out my event, disability visibility, to highlight disability awareness!

Follow @cosmic-kid-in-motion which will be my new blog! Im going to start moving things over there. Don't worry, ill keep things up at this blog for a long while, but if by chance you are seeing this list and links dont work, go over to that blog and i'll hopefully have this list with SO MUCH MORE I have planned, like marcus acacius x muslism!reader, and wheelchair user Santi!

[lemotmo]

The thing is Tommy is not that important of a character to have this much discourse around. Apart from being bucks LI there is no character development, no charisma nothing (also I am just not going to bring up his past in begins episodes). Even that relationship was not developed at all, there is Eddie everywhere in that relationship from start to end and yet we have this much discourse surrounding that character.

I just wish Tim found some other way to set up Buddie instead to get this character back. I know plot wise makes sense but still he knows how toxic fandom became after that character came back, he himself commented and yet he bought him back. Again we have to put up with that nonsense.

Yeah, I do agree with you Nonny. The atmosphere in the 911 fandom was improving so much right before 8b, because a lot of the discourse had died down. But now their hopes have been rekindled. I don't know why, because the future of BT looks very bleak and extremely non-existent at this point. But whatever. 🤷‍♀️ I am so past trying to understand these people.

It's mainly exhausting, because you block as many of them as you can. You make sure to never venture into the wrong tag. You block them on other social media, like Twitter and Instagram, but some of them still manage to fall between the cracks (or create new accounts over and over again 🙄) and fill your dash, inbox or comment section with complete nonsense, while it's clear for everyone else from the 911 fandom and most of the GA that Buddie is in the works.

I try so hard to avoid any confrontation as well. I am no longer interested in any kind of discussion with these people. I just avoid them, because I want to happily ship Buddie without any interruptions. We are finally getting canon Buddie. I don't want to miss a second of this and I just want to geek out about our ship going canon. That's it. That's the whole reason of why I'm here.

I used to think differently about this, waaay back in the beginning after BT had happened. But as soon as I started criticizing anything about BT and T in particular I got labeled 'homophobic' and I received death threats. Then they went completely off the rails with those false accusations and the one thing I learned from all of that?

Ignore, block and delete every single BT related topic that irks you. Sometimes I come across something innocent, like a beautifully made piece of fanart and I don't mind that. I do mind the people dropping into my inbox to tell me that I am delusional, that I seem to be watching another show and that I'm grasping at straws. So yeah...

Ignore, block, delete and simply move on as if nothing has happened. That is the one thing that is most effective against this kind of harassment and/or bullying.

Anyway...

#Buddieendgame everyone! 😏🤭🙂‍↕️

[lurkingshan]

Hi! I really enjoyed your long essay on ThamePo -- I was looking for some commentary on the links between Only Boo! and ThamePo and I stumbled onto your essay. I have tried signing up for Tumblr but I'm still finding my way. I wrote a long essay about Only Boo! and I'd like to post it somewhere; I was going to do it in the comments section of BL Watcher's site but they have never reviewed Only Boo! and a few days ago they stopped posting again after a several month hiatus earlier this year. What do you suggest I do about the essay? I can send it to you if you'd like to read it.

Hi and welcome to tumblr! I’d love to read what you wrote about ThamePo and Only Boo! I was thinking a lot about the connections between them and the big differences in their commentary on idol and fan culture while watching. Here are a few tips for posting meta here (this is what we call essays about media):

Anything you want to post, you do on your own blog. The way to help others find it is to tag it (you’ll see the tags on this post below the main text). On tumblr, we use tags both as an organization and as a sharing tool—people track tags for stuff they’re interested in. So when you post your essay, tag it with relevant show tags and others will find it. For this one, you can use: [#thamepo, #thamepo the series, #only boo, #only boo the series].

If there are certain people you want to make sure see your post, you can also @ them either in the body of the post or in the replies. When you post your essay, you can tag me by adding @lurkingshan and tumblr will send me a notification, ensuring I see the post.

Labeling the post clearly (like with a title that includes the show names) also helps, because once others reblog your post, people will also see it on their dashboards and if they’re interested in the shows the title will catch their eye.

And a few general tips for using tumblr:

You should add a profile pic to your account. Not of yourself—tumblr is an anonymous website so most people just use pictures from media they like or want to discuss (so you might just pick an image from ThamePo). This helps assure people you are a real person and not a bot.

The best way to get folks to see and engage with what you write is to do the same for them. Go into the [#thamepo] tag and interact with other people’s posts. You can like, comment, or reblog on posts, and you can follow blogs whose style or content you like. This will tell people you exist and are interested in the same content.

Reblogging is the most important feature on this site because it’s how we help other people see content we like. Reblogging promotes posts by putting it onto the dashboards of anyone who follows the reblogger. Once you follow a blog, everything they post or reblog will appear on your dashboard. When you reblog you can also add commentary in the tags either addressed to the original poster (that’s what people mean when they say “op”) or just add your own thoughts to whatever they said. This is one of the most common ways tumblr users talk to each other.

Sending asks like this one is always welcome and a good way to get to know people, as well.

I hope this helps! Definitely feel free to tag me when you get your essay posted.

[kaisertheadvisor]

Believe me, every other game in this franchise follows this exact pattern.

[technically-human]

Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?

Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?

It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3

Glad you asked

ko-fi

[fridgrave2-0]

hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au

turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else

now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident

also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out

[adhdtsukasa]

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

[sparkling12]

I'm curious, in general do we prefer Poison Ivy with Green Skin or Nah?

oh reblog for more responses please lol

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

Sophie Oliveira-Shepard Alenko-Oliveira and Kaidan Alenko-Oliveira - ME3 (3/?) "What would I do without you?" "You'll never have to find out." Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

[milfbrainrot]

i feel like i type so much more than is reasonable when i do talk to people but i also don't get to socialize a ton so i just have soooo many words in me and if i'm like, tired or short on time, it is so much harder to restrain to the already-pushing-it point i can sometimes manage ;-;

[ilovedthestars]

I wasn't kidding when I said I spent an hour just trying to sketch out the pose for this drawing! Sometimes you just gotta go through like 8 sketch layers to figure out what you're doing.

I also ended up looking at two references--this one from The Pose Archive, which I traced the legs from after struggling for a while to get proportions that looked right, and a photo of myself that I asked my roommate to take so I could figure out what to do with the arms. The process got significantly faster when I remembered I could use references and started working with them.

I think it's good to show some of the behind-the-scenes of your artwork every now and then, both because process is cool and because it removes some of the sheen of "whoa, i could never make that." I know I get discouraged at times by artists who "make it look easy," when really I can't see all the time and hard work that went into making something. I don't want to create that feeling for anyone else!

So, here's a glimpse into how much I struggled to get the pose right, and below is the timelapse where you can see how much I fiddled with the colors until I had something I was happy with. It was probably at least two hours of "i am spending way too much time on this" and "why does this still not look right" before I got to a point where I started thinking, "wow, this looks good." But I got there eventually, and I'm really happy I stuck it out!

[frenchy-and-the-sea]

Sessions of CoS with the Barovia Tour Group tend to oscillate wildly between Frantically Doing Stuff and Planning To Do Stuff, and while today was definitely more of the latter, it was...it was a weird as fuck planning day! (Some light spoilers for stuff in and around Vallaki)

Our artificer got petitioned to take a sample of power from some glowing entity that appeared at the foot of his bed, so that he could "know what is available to him" if they worked together. So he is walking around with this weird aura of authority that none of us can place, and a magic item that none of us know anything about.

Wyn woke up in a manic state as a way of coping with all of our recent tragedies and losses and ended up herding the whole group across the entire city of Vallaki chasing down leads, simply because there is a CHANCE that we can bring one single little girl back to life and that's what Wyn is hanging all of her mental health on.

Our wizard spent the whole day being snippy and sullen and generally in a bad mood and we couldn't figure out why until he pulled Wyn aside and told her that it was because he had tried (in the previous session) to convince Victor to come with us instead of trying to teleport out of Vallaki, and had failed. As a result, Victor had gone through with the spell, and the resultant explosion made it very clear that something had gone wrong, so we don't even know if he's alive. Naturally, our wizard feels both responsible and also a tiny bit peeved that Victor didn't trust him enough to let us take care of him, even though Victor has been treating Tobias like a god ever since they met. So he's mad at Victor and he's mad at himself and he admitted that he didn't wanna take it out on anyone else so he was trying to keep his mouth shut so he wasn't a complete dick to everyone around him, and Wyn had to take both of his hands so gently in her own and assure him that he was always free to bitch to her about this sort of thing, because it's terrible in Barovia and if we don't have each other's backs than what DO we have? And unfortunately, his stupid consideration for the rest of the stupid team got Wyn all in her stupid fucking feelings again, and now she's gonna have to deal with THAT on top of everything.

So we're going to the Vistani camp near Vallaki in what I can only think is a PERFECT state of mind! At least our fighter is on good terms with them...

[recalcitrantlycaffeinated]

that anti-phone post ends with some clear queerphobic dogwhistling btw

I also did not love that...especially the scare quotes around sexuality - that was weird and uncalled for, even in the context of the argument! In the olden days of tumblr, I would have done some selective editing here for sure.

When I read it it seemed to me that these were being presented as the talking points of somebody with a political agenda who is wrong, who is blaming problems caused by the internet in general on people freely talking about their sexuality etc. But maybe I'm just reading a negative lens into it because of the type of people I'm usually having annoying conversations with - this type of scare quoting/rage-baiting so obviously reads as repulsive to me that I assume it's supposed to be a straw man we all agree is not the real problem.

This blog is not here for the queerphobia blame game, so thank you for calling out that I might have gotten my read on this post wrong. I am here to lament the way phones have destroyed my attention span and the way I view relationality, NOT the fact that the internet allowed me to get out of the bubble I grew up in long enough to realize I was bisexual at the age of 19.

[doubleedgemode]

I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.

First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)

Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)

I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent images I suppose ~

[dallonwrites]

bestie how the fuck do you start writing again when you haven't written in years bc you're so paralyzed with Fear of Writing Badly mixed with How Do I Get Started and also WHAT do I write about HELP

I WANT to write but every part of it is. so. DAUNTING

Ohhh bestie I have BEEN there. Whenever I take breaks from writing I find myself scared that I'll have just….forgotten to write?? I think the fear of "bad writing" is amplified when you don't write for a while, however long, because you have to like hype yourself up to go back to writing and it's like what if I do all that and then I just can't do it? Returning to writing, especially after a long time, for me has taken a lot of mental work, trying to understand what will make writing fun and healthy for me. A lot of it, honestly, is easier said than done, but also it's mental work you'll keep doing after you start writing again and as you write, and for me it's easier to process my relationship with writing when I am actually writing.

A big part of that mental work for me, and something I think is so valuable, is to reconsider what "bad" writing is and give yourself permission to write it. Sometimes you will think your writing sucks, happens to all of us, but that isn't all it has to be. Like yeah, I'll think something I wrote sucks, but I still wrote it. I can revisit it and work on it and maybe I'll turn it into something I'm happy with. And even if I don't, I still wrote it, I learned from it. Writing does not need to be "good" by whatever standard we're holding it up to for it to have value. And you can delete it! Nobody has to see it! Also you can have fun writing something and still think it's not your best. I've written a lot of "bad" scenes that I had fun with because the scene was entertaining to me! I love when writing turns out how I like it, or I write a banger prose line, but equally I found it helpful to give myself permission to not worry about that all the time and just focus on my interest/enjoyment in what I'm writing, regardless of the "quality". Again, easier said than done, but something I've found easier the more I write, because you'll have bad writing days but you'll also have writing days that are so good

I know a lot of people see writing as a skill that they want to improve, and like I agree it feels really good to see your writing grow, but writing is so much more than the skill and the craft and the theory. There is no objective "perfection" to reach with writing like we are not Sims with levelled skills LOL. Writing is art and creativity and it should be fun and fulfilling. And IMO, the more you focus on what makes writing fun, you will grow and "improve" as a writer a lot quicker and in a way that is a lot more enjoyable than if you treat writing like some icy quest for perfection. You also get to decide what "good" writing is for you/your story. Some of my stories are more prose focused and I'll play more with language, imagery etc. Others are more about the plot and just having fun imagining this scene. Sometimes it's a mix of both. What is "good" writing depends on the writer, story, genre, etc. There is no one way to write.

I'm rambling a lot because I'm just really passionate about this and I cannot express enough how easier writing got, including all the difficult and ugly and frustrating parts, when I gave space to prioritise my enjoyment and fun. People love to romanticise the idea of the "struggling" writer. I see stuff on here and I'm like you guys….writing should be fun. Like yeah sometimes it's hard and we should talk about that but like, you Need to make sure you are having fun. Anyway I'm going to try not to ramble and bullet point some things that helped me:

Make Writing Fun: Lol! Literally whatever makes writing fun. Sometimes I just write super indulgent scenes and the fun of that sets me up to work on my projects. When I work on my projects I try to find what in each scene I'm going to enjoy the most, and focus on that to help me write the rest. I make playlists, moodboards, memes, art etc for my story because it's fun, and it helps me be engaged with my story outside of writing it. Just, have fun.

On productivity: some people will benefit from setting clear goals and running towards them. Some people don't. For me it depends on my headspace. I don't think productivity is a bad thing, it can feel good, but productivity should not be the only reason you write. And the most productive writing process is whichever one makes writing enjoyable for you, because that's how you'll get words on the page

On that note, please be wary of anyone online who who treats the writing advice they share as Fact. I'm not saying every writing teacher out there does...but some of them market it that way! And creators do not have an authority on writing just because they have a platform however big. There are some AMAZING content creators out there who talk about writing, and I have found them motivating, but like just let yourself be picky about who you listen to/engage with. I say this because I consumed some very Strict writing advice when I was younger and it literally contributed to my years long slump so like...I'm picky now LOL

About goals: Personally, gentle goals are what help me get back into writing. Maybe just write for 20 minutes, or write every day for a couple days. When I do word count goals, I base them on how I feel that day, and recently I don't make a word count, I'll transfer it to the next session but smaller. So if I try to write 500 words but can't I'll say okay, lets try 250 next time. Goals can be a great motivator and way to feel achieved, and maybe bigger goals will help you, but you're also allowed to adjust them as you go to make it easier

On finding new ideas, having been there before, you don't need a fully fleshed out idea to start writing. My longest break I came back to writing with...one character and a backstory? If you have stories/characters already you can revisit them, either build on what you have or completely change it. Or if you don't have that, if there's a piece of media you like you can take that concept and play around with it in your own way, or you can even just write fanfic until you have your own idea (if you want your own idea, fanfic is cool too!) You can even just find a cool pic on pinterest and play around with describing it, writing about it, seeing if you can get anything from that. Ideas are everywhere and they can be tiny, and I think if you have that want to write you Will find your story eventually. All writers have had the Idea struggle, but I think the more you engage with writing and think about what concepts and stories interest you already, the more you'll like train yourself to get ideas

That was very long and maybe a lot but like, I am very passionate about this! I've been in writing "slumps" where I didn't know if I would write again, I've started writing again with no ideas, and in those times all I had was the fact I knew I wanted to write. There are a lot of reasons why we end up having long breaks from writing and it is totally normal, sometimes beneficial for us, and we should never give ourselves a hard time for not writing for however long. But also remember that you can always come back. Every one of us has the capacity to create, whatever that looks like, and you can make it as self indulgent and self serving as you want.