#i'm not trying to start anything

[inwhichitumbl]

Really struggling to just enjoy being in my new shiny fandom right now because it all feels so toxic. I can't form an opinion about LFj because I don't dare look anything about him up with the way things are, and I don't have enough from the show to really form an attachment to Tommy as a character. I find him incredibly difficult to read on screen, which is on me. I just can't get a fix on who Tommy is.

I so want to enjoy Buck's story in canon, and be happy about bi Buck (and I am!). But I can't go into the tags because there's so much vitriol being thrown around. I would really like to just find a little corner where Buck/Tommy and Buck/Eddie fans are just getting along and speculating about next season and having a fun hiatus thinking how broken Eddie Diaz is and how much he loves his son. And Buck going out on dates with Tommy, or the firefam all hanging out. Is there a secret tag where everyone is just getting along?

And this isn't even about shipping buddie. The existence of Buck/Tommy does nothing to lessen the connection between Buck and Eddie for me. Their relationship is so strong, even just as friends. Like, I'll happily read super intense Buck+Eddie fics just about how much they love each other without it being romantic or about sex (hi, have you met me, I'm ace). They're each other's person whatever that looks like.

And whether Buck stays with Tommy or not for however long in S8, I just hope that it gets to be the story Buck deserves. Because that boy deserves someone who loves him but also will let him be his ridiculous golden retriever self without suppressing that urge and will lift him up but also be there to support him when he needs it.

And I hope that Eddie manages to properly process his grief and maybe spends some time single and healing rather than diving in to relationships too quickly searching for that nuclear family he thinks he needs. I just have a lot of emotions about Eddie Diaz ok.

[howlingday]

Warhammer 40k Fan: Bro, the Ultramarines/ Dark Angels/Black Templars/etc. are so cool because they can beat a demon in a sword fight and have the mental fortitude to not fall to chaos!

Me: Yeah, but can they swim through dirt and summon a giant shark through sheer will-power like the Carcharodons?

[trigunart]

WAIT IT'S YOU LMFAOOOO

I was just gonna hop by and say I love how you find art with like three notes and share it around, it feels awesome to find new artists & trigun enjoyers lol

but holy shit I didn't realize it was you running this blog!! you are an absolute pillar of trigun fandom tumblr fr ❤️❤️❤️

ASDFGHJKHGFDS OH MAN! Listen, I'm just trying to spread Trigun love and joy and pain because it's such a beautiful set of stories, and the fandom deserves to be fed!!! I'm doing my best to be the change I want to see in the world, and I want to see more of and support all the Trigun things. (Though boy it's a good thing I decided I was too lazy to tag ships and wanted to support more gen art because the queue over here is always nearly-full, y'all are killing it.)

But for real, it makes me so happy whenever I see some love come in for any work, and I just hope that it brings a little joy to the artist behind them! I'm not the best at catching everything posted, but I do my best to brave the tags and do my part and queue up the art I find. I was so devastated to learn that there wasn't a blog I could follow and support art that wasn't run by someone blatantly hateful, so it was important to me to step up and be totally clear about who's running this blog for that purpose. I'm just so happy that people are enjoying it!!! <3

[allisonreader]

I have this frustration that always comes upon me when I read certain articles that talk about a certain James T Kirk. Which is more pronounced after actually having fully watched the original series, recently I might add.

It's in reference to how much of a womanizer people always refer to him as. And yes there is technically a basis for it, but at the same time I think that there are some parts of that that are overlooked.

Yes, he "falls in love" a lot. But there's also quite a few of those instances where he's using a kiss or flirting to distract said alien of the week to protect the ship and save his crew. And to overlook or look past those instances I think is a hugely detrimental to his character. It has to be acknowledged that sometimes it's what he needs to do to save the ship and crew, which is something that he calculates out.

[mintycurry]

don't quote me on this, but why does it feel like Gay T1mes choosing Zara as the March 2024 cover is a calculated decision? or if it was a coincidence, it's a damn funny one

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

[egophiliac]

Please elaborate on your twst Pokémon headcannons I’m very interested

I had planned on drawing everyone for this (I made a LIST!) but it. hasn't been going well. 💀 soooo here's what I have so far!

Riddle - Roserade (I was going with 'no legendaries', otherwise I would've given him a Shaymin) (and I don't think Togedemaru is actually a hedgehog or I would've given him one of those too) (...they kind of do fit though. hmm.)

Trey - Alcremie (clover/mint cream + strawberry/ruby cream)

Cater - DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD!

Ace - Impidimp (I feel like there's probably a better one for him, but I can't think of it)

Deuce - Scraggy (meanwhile I KNOW deep in my heart that this is true)

Leona - Pyroar (but like. a nasty Pyroar. just a grizzly old Pyroar with the shittiest attitude imaginable. they pretend to hate each other but secretly they are a bonded pair, do not separate)

[navree]

i think more people need to realize that the circumstances of how jason todd died would make him deeply untrusting of not only other people, not only himself and his own instincts, but specifically other people's proclamations of what they feel about/for him and how he reacts to that in turn

[strunmah-mah]

cousin-coded? Sorry, but this is going to bug me, but why would anyone use that term to describe them?

Coding is a very specific storytelling term meaning that means something is standing in for something else.

ex: if an alien is black coded then they share traits with and stand in for a black person.

So Kara and Clark can't be cousin coded because they literally are cousins.

also you've undermined your own point of asking what it even means to be cousins, and then listing so many different sibling dynamics, I'm the youngest child of three and my relationship with my oldest sibling does not look like a different youngest children's relationship with their oldest sibling. and that's because we're both girls 11 years apart while these other people might both be boys only 5 years apart. And if even one of these "definitive" dynmics you listed is malleable and fluid like that, then what does it even mean to be siblings either?

These kinds of relationship dynamics are only useful to a point. If you relate to Clark and Kara because they do something you and your siblings do, that's great! But it doesn't make them sibling coded it just means they're cousins who also happen to like to tease and tousle with each other

It's genuinely baffling to me that the MAWS fandom will see Kara and Clark call each other "cousin" and still say that they are "sibling-coded". Are none of you close with your extended families??

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

[tapakah0]

[cquackity]

what are everyone's LEAST favorite dsmp discourse topics? like what's something that you can't stand to watch be discussed over and over. rbs with long ranting tags are welcome

[deoidesign]

One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)

We all start somewhere!

[aeb-art]

i'm giving loop another thing to unpack

[paintedcrows]

Say hello to my horrible little triangle! He is the reason I haven't had time to draw for like a week 💙

...He watches me while I sleep now! :)

[skeletoninthemelonland]

a glimpse of what their early dynamic looks like