#i'm not as much mad at my work as i am like. capitalism. and this country. sighs

[fagdykevash]

hey there. if you're young with free time. please spend it on reading. or writing. or whatever hobbies bring you joy. make use of the long and boring classes, the road trips you didn't ask to go on, sermons and parties and whatever else your parents dragged you to. it feels like a pain, but soon, you'll miss it.

[sillimancer]

I can't find it and don't remember who said it but I saw something where op was comparing liberals' reaction to hearing AI the same way conservatives react to hearing pronouns and I'm gonna be thinking about that all night now

[malusrecord]

((I'm heinously picky about who interacts with him to begin bc of the general content but also because I swear to God if you don't respect the work---and I mean years worth of work---I've put towards this character and detailing every little thing, everything that everyone else seems to be shallow af about or completely mis-characterizes Danny entirely, both deliberately and as a stupid overdone joke that wasn't even funny in the first place, I will fuckin fight you with my teeth and fists and then bar you from writing with him.))

[sunderedstar]

good books of 2024

according to meeee.

there is no order here, at least one of these was published ages ago, I'm just working my way through my 2024 timeline, godspeed spiderman. 🫡

Metal from Heaven

surprise hit of 2024. top of the charts. stunning, spectacular. gorgeous. Metal from Heaven FUCKS. almost every single main character is an explicit spicy toxic hot mess of a lesbian committing literal highway/train robbery, the bad guy is literally named Industry, leading to such peak sentences as "I am going to kill Industry." the prose is synesthetic in a way that most writers cannot sustain for a full novel but which here culminates in a moment of pure blissful Neon Genesis Evangelion that I will not elaborate on due to spoilers. the author pulls out the FUNNIEST lines, and also the most abrupt and heartbreaking tragedies. we're not here to be subtle, we're here to put the pedal to the metal until the engine explodes. such a damning, whip smart condemnation of industry, capitalism, power. all in the form of Lesbians. also the phrase 'clown orgy' is mentioned. this shit is like gideon the ninth with CRUNCH. NSFW.

but don't take my word for it. take amal el-mohtar's.

Absolution

Absolution is a hard book. requires thought and rigor at all times to absorb what's going on - and also a reread of the entire trilogy beforehand, because there's time travel nuance involved, which makes it next to impossible to sum up the plot coherently on its own without spoiling things. jeff vandermeer described it partially as 'fuck that alligator from the movie' and - valid. the first 60% had me; the later section...swapped gears drastically, which meant it took a while to hit its stride (aka until it reached Area X again). in hindsight I was just not prepared for one of the POVs to be the Freudian, violently stoned, unreliable narrator love-child of Karkat and Dave Strider whose perception/conception of the heart of the Southern Reach is extremely phallic. and then suddenly cannibalism happens. I liked Annihilation and Acceptance better, but damn. it almost feels like this should be the set up to another trilogy. much 2 think about.

Yield Under Great Persuasion

I don't know why I didn't hear anything about this one before it came out! (instead, I only saw posts about rowland's other book released this year, running close to the wind - which sadly did not hit for me at all). Yield Under Great Persuasion is just ridiculous enough to be fantastic. stubborn little gremlin man, big mad about Pumpkingate years after the original inciting incident that set him at odds with his love interest, attempts to pack his little rucksack and run away from all his self-inflicted gay problems, fails, is forced to deal with said personal problems by direct goddess-intervention. you know it's gonna be good when the guys are hate-banging by page 2. a short, delightful mix of (extremely silly and low-stakes) enemies to lovers and hurt/comfort and working out your emotional and communication issues on page style comfort food. self-indulgent in a fanfic way that is rowland's trademark in a taste of gold and iron (which was also fantastic and probably deserves a reread now.) NSFW.

The Spellshop

between this and yield under great persuasion there's an odd cozy fantasy pairing here. a self-isolated shut-in spellbook librarian who lives for her work escapes the fall of her city and sets up shop back in her old hometown on a severely magic-deprived island. there's some internalized trauma being worked through, against a simply charming backdrop of community and solidarity and magic spells. really. I was. charmed. which is a rare reaction on my part.

The Hunter's Gonna Lay Low

the curveball of the list, The Hunter's Gonna Lay Low is a translated (gay) Korean web novel, and it's the perfect intersection of a decent translator meeting an author who knows what they're doing. notorious tumblr user @spockandawe has a write up of the plot and its major themes here, but in essence it hooked me with its hunter/super-hero meets Pacific Rim setting, its themes of gifted kid burnout and unacknowledged trauma with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the fact that the author clearly plotted out all of this in advance, with minor details from the opening chapter being extremely plot relevant a hundred chapters later. also, the characters are FUN! the relationship compels me. clownery abounds in all the best ways, while the world-ending stakes are also scarily sky high. its translation is currently incomplete as far as I'm aware, which is literally this story's only downside right now, since you can read it online for free - but so much of the main story is up and translated already that it's hard to imagine how much higher the stakes can go, and I'm dying to know if these two make it through and get the happy ending they deserve. a delicious repast.

Apostles of Mercy

I'm gonna rant here. this is the story of a series that got the redemption arc it deserved.

if you don't know, axiom's end is lindsay ellis's blatant Bayverse Transformers female lead alternate history fic. period. she has openly admitted this. you can easily and clearly pick out the Optimus/Megatron/Starscream expies. and that first book was GOOD. it understood the assignment. loved it.

then...truth of the divine happened. book two of the series. was frankly. god awful. it was like twilight's new moon, where the main character's depression saturates and therefore stagnates the entire narrative, in this case to its detriment. it dragged. the entire appeal of first book of the series is the bond between the main character and her new definitely-not-a-Transformer life partner, and book two managed to both sideline that - the entire point!!! the main thing you're reading it for! the alien time! - and introduce the most skeevy and (for me) unpleasant to read human hetero romance of all time. it was so unpleasant I actually forgot how bad it was.

somehow. somehow. palpatine returned. after I spent three years mourning what could have been. book three saved it. Apostles of Mercy addresses the whole damn skeevy toxic mess that was book two and refocuses on what matters - the alien love interest and a LESBIAN love interest. yes. it's true. once again the sapphics won. we now have a book where the main character is reliving lesbian sex memories as an alien-robot-insect-definitely-not-a-Transformer mindmelds with her so I mean. good job team? her love interest also acquires an alien life partner of her own to expand this into potential alien foursome range? the assignment is once again UNDERSTOOD. in terms of the action scenes, to quote myself while reading it, "I can't believe I'm saying this but you needed to channel far more Bayverse" [for book 2], and doing so for book 3 has produced a work of art. I would say skip book 2 entirely and thank me later, but experiencing how bad the series got at its darkest point is part of what made book 3 such an exhilarating high in comparison. possibly that was the goal all along, impossible to appreciate until now. I just need lindsay ellis to get the contract to write the currently-in-publication-limbo books 4 and 5. because the series deserves it. it only just got good again! NSFWish because I can't remember currently how explicit they got all these months later, forgive me.

The Deep Sky

yume kitasei is new to me, but this book hit some interesting notes as a sci fi debut. it too is about gifted kid burnout and imposter syndrome, funnily enough, in a thoughtful take on the standard sci fi concept of 'a bunch of rigorously trained young adults are sent out into deep space as an ark to save a dying humanity' that actually does discuss how fucked up that is as a concept, both for the kids as they grow up under enormous pressure to win a spot on the mission and for all those people being left behind, in what might just end up being an overhyped waste of resources, since civilization sure is still kicking when they leave. the summary on the book is somewhat misleading - asuka, the main character, doesn't fall under suspicion until wayyyy late in the book, and spends the majority of it in a pseudo-detective role that is absolutely sanctioned by those in charge. she's not 'an immediate suspect' like the book blurb insists. go figure. it didn't knock me out of the park like most of the books above, but it was an engaging little read.

The Bees

a weird one from 2014, picked up on a whim - it's literally about bees! fictionalized bees! with personalities and priesthoods and caste politics and everything! I cried about it to be honest. very plotty, somehow all of it neatly taking place within the Lifecycle of A Bee™️, which takes some real craftsmanship to pull off and make compelling as a narrative. since I'm an unrepentant Raksura fan, I was like 'wow...how Raksura coded...' knowing full well that Raksura are dragon bee people, not the other way around. also the Raksura could never be as toxic (complimentary) as these bees are. 😂 it's just good literature your honor.

honorable mentions:

Heavenly Tyrant

has not come out yet. but let's be real. it's on the list in anticipation. it's what she deserves.

The City in Glass

I love nghi vo's work, have read and adored all of the singing hills cycle novellas. it took a month for my library hold on this book to be available. and then I promptly got distracted by metal from heaven and the hunter's gonna lay low 😂 I will read it!!! the first eight pages were good! vitrine's voice is very good! I've just had a very busy end of the year interrupting my everything. (update: I read two more pages and it immediately and promptly popped off. whoops. guess I'm reading that next. whenever I have free time again...)

[utilitycaster]

What is the d20 meltdown about? 👀 If you don't mind getting into it

I literally don't know other than vague shit because I'm semi-avoiding spoilers. I'm making this nonrebloggable because we're in pure speculation country.

From what I have gathered, people are mad because I think the Bad Kids kill the Rat Grinders (another adventuring group that's been set up as their bitter, jealous rivals from the start) and they want...redemption or some shit? This is absurd to me like this party was set up as The Enemy from the start.

I am 4 episodes behind so I can't speak to this, and also I admittedly have a rather low opinion of the D20 fandom at large for a number of reasons despite being a big fan of D20 shows, but: I just by chance watched the scene that I would say counts as a point of no return for at least some the Rat Grinders. Like, actually some of the most villainous shit I've seen on this show amplified by how petty and small and purely fueled by jealousy the motivation is.

My guess as to why the D20 fandom is, per whispers on the wind/texting my brother who is caught up/talking to friends not avoiding spoilers, having a meltdown about it is because people have this idea of Brennan Lee Mulligan always making capitalism the BBEG, or occasionally religion or politics.

That is untrue. He does hate capitalism, and that is a theme in the (real-world-ish set) Unsleeping City, but ultimately the thing Brennan sees as the villain is a willingness to hurt, exploit, and dehumanize others for your own goals and benefit. Capitalism and religious corruption are two major examples of this, but in the end, the worst thing you can do is kill people out of a desire for power, or attention, or spite. What Brennan truly hates is what we on Tumblr call a tar pit.

Now. My much more pointed analysis? Kipperlily (and presumably the other Rat Grinders) are deeply entitled people jealous of the Bad Kids, who aren't as academically strong at times but who have leveled up through saving the world at least three times. How many people does killing rats so much that you hit the high levels of D&D save? or even help? Like congrats, you're level 14 from killing rats real good. These guys stopped the fucking Night Yorb. Of course they get the fame and glory, you entitled, self-absorbed little brats. Do you not understand how this fucking works? This is underscored by the fact that they've definitely murdered at least one of their own and almost certainly two (and a teacher to boot) at least in part to get at the Bad Kids.

And herein lies my feeling as to why the D20 fandom is really melting down. Because the loudest and most unpleasant contingent (which is probably why the server is, ultimately, shutting down all discussion channels) have always struck me as entitled self-absorbed little brats who demand precisely what they want when they want it (and also have the literary analysis skills on par with the 3/4ths of a stick of Monterey Jack cheese currently in my fridge) and they're seeing, in real time, that in this story, they're the villain.

But: I haven't seen the next 4 episodes and I could be getting the details of the plot wrong (not the first 15 episodes though, and I do not think the Rat Grinders are going to make the world's best Heel-Face turn in 3-4 episodes, and at this point they're so clearly the villains that to deny it is to admit truly earth-shattering levels of stupidity) and so: nonrebloggable. I'm hoping to catch up this weekend though on both the show and the hot goss, and if I'm right this will become rebloggable.

ETA: I am caught up making this rebloggable but I'm actually more confused, because as my posts indicated this was not even like, edgy. Like I assumed maybe there was a twist where the Rat Grinders appeared to regret their actions or something but failed to do anything about it, making this a little bittersweet? but no there literally was nothing, they went into the final battle still like hell yeah we're going to be the living worst.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Things in Zombies Re-Animated that I can't stop thinking about/just stuck out to me Idk part 2, Electric Boogaloo:

The moonies are just werewolf periods

Like. They're literally just werewolf periods Idk what to tell you-

That's not like, a BAD thing, I just think fucking werewolf periods is a wild thing to introduce to the lore of this series lmao

On a similar note, I made a whole separate post abt this but I'm very confused by werewolf family dynamics I want more lore for that

WYATT'S A RACCOON NOW DON'T GET CLOSE HE'LL BITE

Bucky's very slight redesign in the Halloween special is so funny to me- he looks. So so tired. And yet he's wearing hot pink wolf ears. That dichotomy is very funny to me-

I keep getting the song Ashley was singing along to in Teeny Witch stuck in my head smh

Probably bcuz I keep rewatching Teeny Witch for the Dae content...

Guys I love Dae she's so silly

She's one of the first characters I've ever seen who's actively described by the promotional team as "shy and quirky" who isn't the most annoying person on the face of planet

And her dynamic with Bucky is so fun- genuinely amazing choice to pair them up

Wyatt has so much more personality in the show than he does in the movies. I think he's one of the characters that's def benefited the most from the tv show format

The gag about Addison being obsessed with label makers is so funny omfg

I also liked it when Addison went insane in the woods in the Halloween special that was really funny

Basically I just like that Addison keeps randomly losing her mind in this show I think its a good recurring bit

BACK ON THE SUBJECT OF THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL- I think the writers forgot why the wolves were mad in the movies

"Sick of living in the woods" GIRL YOUR LIFE SOURCE IS LITERALLY DRAINING AS WE SPEAK I THINK THERE ARE BIGGER PROBLEMS AT HAND HERE

I'm also kinda disappointed that they're retconning Bucky being from Missy's side of the family. I think the idea of Bucky having some alien in him has a lot of potential, and I wish Re-Animated would capitalize on that.

The whole Paint it Blech episode was a fuckin MOOD

Also you can tell Meg Donelly was having so much fun voicing the lil stick figure guy lmao

I absolutely LOVE that we got a whole episode dedicated to Bree, Addison and Bucky omfg- we never actually got to see them working as a trio in the movies, since Bucky was like. The main antagonist in the first 2 and fucked off to hang out with the wolves in the 3rd. So I'm glad we're getting some of that here!

And since we ALSO got an episode dedicated to just the wolves, I hope we get one for the zombie trio in the future, too. We've gotten more of the 3 of them hanging out than we have of the main 3 cheerleaders, but it'd still be cool to get an episode on them :)

Unfortunately I don't think there's gonna be an alien trio episode... unless they decide to bring A-li and A-lan in for one episode and then send them back to the void with the 'aceys?

Which SPEAKING OF- I'm disappointed they fully replaced the 'aceys with just one guy...

Like I think I know WHY they aren't coming back, probably some combo of the writers not wanting to juggle 3 more recurring characters & the person in charge of budgeting not wanting to pay 3 more VAs, but it's still dissappointing

BRING BACK THE POLYCULE PLS I BEG

Also not to go into conspiracy theory mode... but Singular Acey seems really down bad for Bucky, and given that he's meant to fill the role of the aceys...

BACEY'S IS CANON IT'S CANON THEY'RE ALL DATING WOOOOOOO FUCK YEAH I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I am Delusional I am going Insane)

Bucky is unfortunately a mood-

I, too, am desperate for attention, annoying abt color theory to the point Ive gotten into fights about it, a lover of cool frogs, and won't stfu abt my pets

Wynter is also a mood but that's just cuz I have ADHD and she DEF has ADHD are you KIDDING ME-

Eliza making a version of the z-band to help Wynter focus actually really lends itself to the reading of z-bands as disability aids...

I think it's neat that Zed clearly still has strong oppinions abt the MLP rip off he watched as a kid. That is also a mood.

I'm starting to think that maybe everybody in this show is just a fuckin mood...

The depictions of siblings in this show, while not really a main focus, are really accurate lmfao

Also YES IM COUNTING ADDISON AND BUCKY FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

The interactions between Willa and Bucky in these episodes were all golden(even if they only interacted in like 2 of them-). I will never shut up abt how much I love them being friends.

It's funny how borderline photo realistic the Shrimpy model is

Okay that's it :)

[yoonmetogether]

Get to know your mutuals

hiiii @moochii-daisies thanks for tagging me!!! this was really fun! sorry for the lack of grammar tho

what's the origin of your blog title? it's kinda corny and i sometimes think of changing it but i'm lazy lol basically just incorporating my fav yoongi nickname and making it a play on words i guess?

favorite fandoms: army, atiny once upon a time i was a hooligan lol

OTP(s)/shipname: sebastian and grell (from black butler)

favorite color: pink

favorite game: honestly? club penguin oh and that card game 'spit'

song stuck in your head: there's so much going on up there i don't really know lol today it was everybody mad and yesterday it was that creepy tiptoe thru the window song idk

weirdest habit/trait? i constantly talk to myself. and if i'm outside i'll pretend to be on the phone so no one thinks im nuts lmaoo

hobbies: writing, reading (when i have the brain capacity), hiking with my dog, singing

if you work, what's your profession? I’m a substitute for elementary school students. I dont think im going to branch out to any other grades bc unfortunately where i live there are higher risks of firearm incidents in middle/high schools 🙃

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? a singer and/or vocal teacher historian, museum curator

something you're good at: oversharing making lattes/mixed drinks

something you're bad at: being on time

something you love: my dog and kitty aka my children markiplier's editor - (also just markiplier in general he's endlessly funny. one day at work i was watching him play that supermarket game and when things weren't going well he went "this is a poopy day! what a shit ass poop ass day!" i had to go hide in a corner for ten minutes to laugh i'm laughing just thinking about it im immature as hell)

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: bts' origin story lol other history related things

something you hate: fascist governments, maga all these fucking ads everywhere like there's an extra $3-4 fee to not see 5 minutes of ads every 10 minutes on a service that already costs $8-12???? i guess i'll be indefinitely paying for youtube premium because i cannot be without my youtubes fuck you capitalism and forced consumption that goes for you too tumblr !!! something you collect: rocks

something you forget: everything. i have the memory of a gnat on acid

what's your love language acts of service

favorite movie/show: movie - spirit: stallion of the cimarron (idk if hamilton counts lol) tv show - new girl and family guy

favorite food: bibimbap if i could eat that every day for the rest of my life i would but i can't cook for shit nor can i afford it lol

favorite animal: my top 3 are elephants, cheetahs, and pigs lol

are you musical? yes! i went to an arts school for vocal music and did musicals from age 6-13. i don't miss the competitive environment but i do miss performing and singing pretty much every day

what were you like as a child? i was an only child with undiagnosed adhd and not a lot of friends im gonna leave it at that

favorite subject at school? history

least favorite subject math

what's your best character trait? i've been told that i give good advice and perspectives on issues and that i'm caring and understanding

what's your worst character trait? umm i get triggered easily when i feel left out (i have unresolved trauma okay im working on it) ((there's that oversharing))

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? that i finished cleaning out my car

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? my great-grandmother bc not only am i named after her but she was also born almost exactly 100 years before me and i want to show her everything i found out about her through the research i did for my undergrad thesis project like some stuff none of our family knew about but i was able to discover

aaaaand on an entirely different note, brendan frasier on the set of the mummy

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love) first thing that comes to mind is Kanalia it's just so perfectly written and beautiful like the angst and tension is paced so well i wish my memory could be erased so i can read it again for the first time i'm actually about to go reread it now

i'm gonna tag @ot72025 @polarnightmyg and @glossdebut ! but no obligation to do it!

[resilient-radical]

I think there is a lot of room for improvement with phone keyboard algorithms. Even as I type this paragraph, my phone tried to autocorrect "there" to "therapy." For me, it is far more common to be typing in something correctly, only to have my phone automatically change it to something incorrect. And the voice-to-text is pretty much shit. In any voice assistant ive used, whether it is google or bixby or the microsoft dictation tool, i find it to be incredibly disappointing and immensely frustrating. It might be small little things like not being able to end sentences very well, which I will say that on my windows computer, the dictation tool by pressing the windows key + h, is pretty nice, but I still have yet to get my phone keyboard to work right. So many times, I'll write out something really well thought out, and then when I go back and read it, i then realize how much shit the phone auto corrected incorrectly. I also find it surprising that my phone fights so very hard to censor my profanity with asterisks. I'm not a child, ffs. If I'm saying a curse word in dictation, then I was to see it fully dictated. And I also thought it was really weird that when I switched to the microsoft keyboard, there wasn't a place for me to access my clipboard, so I had to switch back to the samsung board. I've also reset my keyboard back to its factory settings a few times and tried to train it more accurately, but every single time it ends up driving me mad. Sorry, I am stoned and pmsing hard. And this just really pisses me off almost as much as today's political events. But that's a different topic.

Also I just want to add that Google Keyboard has been adding periods, spaces and capitalizing the next letter in my text when all it really needed was a comma. i've had to go back and change like 30+things in this post. We got quantum computers, yet still deal with this shit? Why? Just why?

[cats-mayhem]

Cow Shaped Cloud

Ok! So I read the entirety of @shepscapades DBHC AU and I am immediately obsessed. So I thought i'd try writing something for it! Haven't written anything in a while so I'm a bit rusty but we'll see what happens! I tried to make it as cannon compliant as I can. So uh timeline wise this takes place in s8 after Etho deviates but before the Moon stuff so I hope it fits in fine! I just like Pearl and wanted to write a fic centered mostly around her. So enjoy!

Story under cut Word count: 2,663

When Pearl heard from X that she'd get a android specifically designed to help her build, she was beyond ecstatic. As much as she liked building, she'll be the first to admit that it is taxing job to do, so having a little building buddy would be a great help. She'd heard about the other androids on the server, and has Met a few of them like Doc and Etho (Although Etho nowadays seems a bit... Weird), so she knew what she was in for.

At least she thought she did.

When X first introduced Pearl's Android to her, an Android named Impulse, she was shocked by how he looked. He wore nothing but shorts and a black T-shirt with a capital yellow I logo on it. His hair was neatly combed back like it had been prepped with gel (wait, was that real hair?? Could gel work on it?). Overall he looked so... Plain. Which is a bad first thought to have, Pearl admitted. She wasn't expecting X to give her Android the Gucci, but the plain look made the android look so... Off. She couldn't describe it but it wasn't going to deter her from continuing the path of having a building buddy.

"Hello PearlecentMoon, I'm Impulse. An Android designed to help you with anything you might need. My specialty is in building and strength. I am designed to have a long term efficiency, I can go long periods of time without resting. Perfect for your building needs." Impulse said, all in a very robotic and uncanny way. His voice sounded so human... It was weird to Pearl.

"See! Look at that, I didn't need to explain him at all, he did it all himself! (Well, I told him to say that before you came here but..)" X said, mumbling that last part and scratching the back of his neck.

Pearl glanced over and gave a small laugh towards X for setting up her androids introduction. Her gaze fixed back to the android in question though. She extended a hand.

"Well hi Impulse, it's great to meet you! Although, you can just call me Pearl."

"Preferred to be called Pearl. Noted." Impulse said before just staring at the extended hand, the thing that was originally blue over his left eye suddenly turned yellow. Pearl's smile didn't fade but she was a bit confused.

"Ah, right, he doesn't know what a handshake is so he's trying to figure it out on his own." X chimed in.

Pearl looked over at X, "You seriously didn't program them to know basic stuff like this?"

"Nope! They only know what they're built for. So for Impulses' case, he only knows building." X seemed as chipper as ever.

Pearl let out an annoyed sigh but couldn't stay mad at X for long, "Well, looks like I just gotta teach him." She looked back over at Impulse who was still staring at her extended hand.

"This is called a handshake. Uhm, give me your hand."

"Affirmative."

Impulse obeyed Pearls' word, extending his right hand out to her. She grabbed it and shook it with a gentle yet friendly force. Impulse gave no reaction. She let go of his hand (it was weirdly cold yet soft?).

"That's what a handshake is. It's a typical greeting for most people. If someone extends a hand towards you when introducing themselves, you shake their hand like that!" Pearl said, still smiling. She'll admit, it's weird having to explain what a handshake is to something so closely resembling a grown adult, but she's been through weirder. Probably.

"information noted. Storing in memory for future use cases."

"See! You two are already getting along! Now, like Impulse said he'll do anything you say and his main specialty is building." X chimed back in.

"Like... Anything, anything I say?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Can he do what others say?"

"Unless you tell him to do so, nope! OH! But there is one exception. That being me. I created him and all and needed to test him and stuff. So other than you, he can listen to me. But I won't order him around or anything! He's not mine after all."

Pearl nodded. That does make sense. Looking over at Impulse, he really is an impressive work of machinery. X may not look like it, but he's an absolute genius. Doesn't stop her from bullying him sometimes for being a derp though.

"Well thank you very much Xisuma! He'll help me so much with my base and other projects, I'm sure of it."

"No problem! If you have an issues with him, just contact me or Doc and we'll fix it."

"Will do. Wouldn't even know where to start if he started to break down on me." She laughed. (Issues? Like what issues? He seems so high-tech that it looks like he could NEVER have issues. Guess sci-fi really does have flaws).

She looked back over to her new android, Impulse, who has just been watching the two of them talk. Not budging an inch from where he was initially introduced. She gave him her widest smile, "Alright Impulse, follow me! I'm gonna show you to your new home!"

Impulse nodded very stiffly. "Following initiated."

On the way back to Pearls' base, she asked Impulse few questions. If he would really do anything she said, to which he fully confirmed. If his hair was real, which he explained it wasn't and was instead some tech stuff (Pearl didn't really understand the words). And most importantly...

"So like, are you emotionless?"

"Emotionless? I do not recognize that word." Impulse said, his circle above his left eye turned yellow again (to which Pearl now knew was an LED. Xisuma gave her a text shortly after she left to explain it because he forgot to explain it to her in person. Derp).

"Like can you not feel emotions? Like being happy, or sad, or embarrassed?"

Impulse shook his head. "No, that's not within my programming."

"Not within your programming."

"I can find nothing relating to 'emotions' such as 'happy' or 'sad' or 'embarrassed' in my code."

"Oh..." Pearl looked away. So he really was just a robot, huh? Just designed to help her. Did he need to look so human though? And miss the one thing that makes human, well, human?

The rest of the trip back to Pearls' base was rather uneventful. She didn't know how to feel about owning something that looked so human, but he was designed for her, and she knows the others use their own androids for stuff, so surely it mustn't be wrong for her to use her own android right? Yeah, let's roll with that.

There's a lot of positives to be had with Impulse. He didn't need to eat, and from what she heard, he can go long period without even needing a rest. PLUS he really will do whatever she says, which would lead to great cooperation for pranks later down the line.

But the longer Impulse stayed at her place and helped her out, the more out of place he felt in her life. Sure, it would take some time getting used to a humanized roomba (haha get it? because room. Robot roommate. Hilarious), she was starting to think it was because he was not only extremely robotic acting, but also extremely robotic looking.

It was the clothes that did it for her, she thought. The clothes Impulse had were way to plain. She didn't want to disrespect Xisuma's original design... But he did say that Impulse was fully for her, and Impulse said that he would do everything she asked...

...And he would look good with her expert and totally professional design skills...

...

When Pearl finished up the finishing touches of adjusting his big purple bow and his big yellow top hat just right, she's never been more proud of her handy work before in her life. She had a devious little smile on her face as she made Impulse be put into a ridiculous suit.

Impulse closed his eyes, probably processing his new look. "Would you like this to be my new default uniform?"

"YES!" Pearl excitedly says.

Impulse nodded. "Default uniform updated."

Pearl couldn't help but giggle at her fine work, and honestly? He looked kinda cute with the top hat and bow. Way less plain now, and she defiantly wouldn't mind seeing him around in this all day. Despite how goofy it is, she could get used to it. Get more used to it than the plain look anyways.

...

It had been a few weeks since Pearl first got Impulse. She's still getting used to him just being there, but his presence is comforting nonetheless. She'd try and make small talk with him all the time, but of course, without emotions, he fails miserably at it.

It was a shame, but that's how he was made, nothing she could do about it.

...Or could she?

She texted X.

'Hey so this isn't meant to be rude at all, but I got a question about Impulse.'

'What's up? :D'

'So like. He's a robot right? Can't you program him to feel emotions?'

'Oh! umm... No D: I don't think I can anyways. So far with my programming I can't forcibly create emotions. BUUTTT there is a way for him to maybe feel them some way down the line!! :D'

'Really? How? :O'

And that's when Pearl learned about 'deviancy'. Apparently, the androids can realize they're androids and become self aware to the point they can register feelings? Pearl didn't understand the technicalities of it. It sounded really complicated when Xisuma texted it all to her (didn't help that sentences were always interrupted with emojis or improper punctuation). All Pearl really got out of it is: Impulse can feel emotions, he just needs to disobey his code.

At least she's pretty sure that's what it is. Sounds easy in theory, but then X told her how Etho deviated.

It wasn't so easy in theory anymore after hearing that story.

...

Pearl looked over at Impulse, still in that goofy suit and top hat. He was placing down blocks inhumanly fast, as she had asked him to. He really was a big help around her base. Things were getting done left and right. She really did appreciate her building buddy, but she wishes he could appreciate her appreciation.

Impulse caught Pearl staring at him. "Pearl? Do you require something?" He asked.

Pearl shook her head, snapping out of whatever daydream she was in. "Nah, I'm fine, just taking a break is all."

Impulse nodded. "I shall get back to work then."

Pearl just hummed, sitting down staring up at the blue sky of the midday life on Hermitcraft. Beautiful white puffy clouds filled the sky and a nice gentle breeze carried the smell of spring in it. She took a deep inhale and sighed.

She then got an idea.

"Actually, hey Impulse, c'mover here."

Impulsed stopped working and walked over to Pearl once more. "Yes?"

Pearl patted empty space of the slightly slanted roof next to her. "Come sit."

Impulse obey. As he sat down, he only looked at Pearl, who was just mindlessly staring at the sky. Impulses' LED turned orange again.

"What is the purpose of this?"

Pearl shrugged, "Eh, felt like you could use a break."

"I'm not even through an eighth of my stamina for today. Resting now wouldn't benefit me much."

"Ah, I ain't asking you to rest, just asking you to take a break with me." She looked down from staring at the sky and smiled at Impulse, "It's important to take breaks with friends after all." She then looked back up at the sky.

Silence befell the two for a bit as Impulse still tried to process all of that. He didn't really understand a word she said. The silence didn't last long though as Pearl spoke up again.

"Hey, don't you think that cloud looks like a cow?" Pearl pointed upwards at said cow-shaped cloud. Impulse finally looked up at the sky with Pearl and observed the cloud.

"While it isn't the exact shape of a cow, the outline vaguely resembled one." Impulse said, looking at the clouds with Pearl.

Pearl just chuckled, "Yeah, well you can't expect details with clouds y'know? Find any other clouds that look like real life things?"

Impulse started to observe the clouds, calculating their shapes and sizes. "Well, that one looks like a chicken at a forty-five degree angle." Impulse pointed at said chicken-cloud, just as Pearl pointed at the cow-cloud.

Pearl tilted her head, "Oh right, it does. Wouldn't have seen that one!"

And that's what they did for the next twenty minutes. Just pointing out shapes in clouds. Impulse typically nailed the more organic looked clouds, such as trees and farm animals, whilst Pearl saw the more intricate clouds, such as thunderstorms or typhoons. Impulse has never seen any of those, so he didn't know. His LED flickered from the normal blue state, to the yellow state, back and forth. Pearl noticed, but Impulse didn't seem to be too bothered, so she didn't mention it.

During the end of their little cloud exposition, Pearl started rambling about how one day she wanted to harness the power of nature to fully make her builds. Impulse recommended a few designs they could try. Pearl asked Impulse to put a pin in that for later. He did.

She got up from her sitting spot and gave a nice big long stretch. "Well, that was nice. Thanks for doing that with me Impulse, it was fun."

"I only did as you requested."

"Still, it was fun wasn't it?"

Impluses' LED flicked yellow again as he tried (and failed) to analyze if what just happened constituted as 'fun' or not. Pearl rolled her eyes, but in a friendly nice way and offered her hand to the still sitting Impulse.

"Eh, you can answer that later. Anyway, let's get back to working!"

Impulses' attention went to the hand, "Why are you initiating a handshake without introducing yourself?"

Pearl sighed, a sigh mixed with friendliness and annoyance. "Ok, when people extend a hand to you when you're sitting down on the ground, it's a friendly gesture to help them up. You just take my hand, and use it to help yourself up! Try it."

Impulse didn't have time to say 'i don't need help getting up I'm strong enough to do that on my own' because Pearl gave him the order to try it, and he did. He roughly gripped Pearl's hand and used it as a way to hoist himself up from the ground. Pearl put effort into Impulses' hoist, but he doubts it was necessary. He lets go of Pearls' hand as soon as he's on his feet.

"Oh man you're heavy."

"Storing this in memory for future use cases. Also, androids typically weigh a lot more than organics such as yourself do."

"Yeah probably should've predicted that one. Anyway, let's get back to working. I want to see if we can get this roof done by the end of the day."

Impulse nodded. "Affirmative." as he goes back to the task he was given before the cloud intermission.

Pearl just softly smiles at Impulse as she herself gets back to work. She wasn't going to force Impulse to deviate. She certainly wasn't going to purposefully traumatize him into deviating like how Etho deviated (although Etho's deviation wasn't Bdubs purposefully trying... You get the picture). Impluses deviation should be something Impulse discovers for himself, not something Pearl should force upon him. While it would be easier to be friends with him if he was emotionally aware, for now? She's fine with her building buddy as he was. If he's like this forever, she won't mind.

...What she doesn't know though, is that Impulse is now downloading information about clouds and storing it in his memory for 'future use cases'.

[azuralnguyendd]

Emotionally (Un)available [part 2]

Starring: @magneto-king-of-genosha and @not-a-professor (go check them out!)

(If you want to read the version with italics then it's on my fanfiction.net account. By now, I'm far too tired to be fixing stuff ;-;)

(Original post here)

It was the next day, and Charles was feeling much better already, though the salty and weirdly bitter taste of tears were still on his tongue and left stains on his face. He sat on his bed, recalling the peace he received yesterday and how it warmed his heart and soul. He smiled, but it dropped almost immediately.

It was strange that a mail came for him that morning, because he didn't remember sending anything to anyone. And by now, he wasn't sure if anyone remembered who he was. Said mail was laying on his bedside table, illuminated under the working light of a lamp.

That mail could be a death threat, a ransom letter or blackmail; he didn't know, and he didn't want to find out. But it has been sitting there all morning since he broght it in, and like Pandora with the box, Charles ripped open the white envelope to reveal the message inside.

The words were in bold and all capital, and there weren't any signatures on it either. It read: I WOULD START RUNNING! SOMEONE IS AFTER YOU TO KIDNAP YOU!

In a moment of confusion of reading this very frantic letter, he muttered a quiet: "I'm sorry.. pardon?" After a moment staring at the letter as if double checking if his eyes were playing tricks on him, he called out to his companion. "Erik?"

Upon hearing his named being called out, Erik entered the room. Rage poured across his face, his stance and posture tensed and breaths coming out in short frustrated huffs. Seeing that Charles was fine, just a little confused, his mood changed almost immediately. Though he was still mad, and now will possibly never let Charles out of his sight again... Well, at least for today.

"Yeah, these anonymous people suck," Erik's tone was sharp and harsh as he was still trying to calm himself, slowly taking deeper breaths. "I swear if they show their face again, they're dead on sight." He emphasized the words "swear" and "dead" with a harsher and quite possible murderous tone as he spoke, rolling his tense shoulders as another attempt to calm down.

Charles, seeing the state Erik was in, was suddenly hot all over. Was it that attractive that Erik was angry at someone? Does Charles really like Erik fuming mad and voice harsh? Why was it even attractive that Erik was angry? "Right.. well.. uhm.." Charles stuttered in his words, trying to get his blurry mind to focus on anything else but Erik, but he was standing in front of him and that was a hard thing to ignore.

Erik closed his eyes and took a couple of large, lung fulfilling breaths, and when he spoke, he managed to sound calmer but the anger that sat behind it was still evident either way. "Right, short explanation," Erik gritted the sentence through his teeth, "One specific anonymous person is very determined to kidnap you, and at this point, I am not taking their shit." - There it was again with the murderous tone that made Charles hotter - "So if I see them, I'll be killing them, no ifs and/or buts. They are really on my last nerve."

And Charles was once again flustered, but more so knowing that Erik was about to kill someone for the sake of Charles's safety. His safety, and not anyone else's. His pupils, if he could see them, was fully dilated, filling almost 60% of his irises with the black of it. Charles nodded, eyes still a tad bit wide as he processed the information. "Oh really?" He asked absentmindedly, too focused on Erik and his murderous and almost attractive anger.

Erik dropped his head with a large and audible sigh, his free hand coming up to rub his face for a little while. Erik muttered a "Yeah" as he did so, still entirely enveloped with anger and frustration. Whoever this person is was in for hell.

"Well," Charles chuckled as he managed to tear his eyes away from his friend, "I feel utterly safe with you, darling." That... Wasn't supposed to slip out, but since he said it already, he has to come to terms that Erik was about to react to it negatively or positively.

Without much expectations, Charles waited for a reaction. But figuring that he wasn't looking at Erik and the man himself was speaking, Charles lifted his head up again, wiping away the strands of hair that fell into his view. Erik was looking up, his face was more exhausted than anything, but colors rose to his cheeks in a beautiful pale pink hue.

Charles smiled stupidly seeing the impact his words made on Erik. Oh, if Erik wasn't used to let name, Charles was going to spoil him rotten. "Hm? Why are you looking at me like that?" Erik asked in a almost hushed tone. The colors died down a bit, but a lighter hue of it still remained.

"Oh! Uh- nothing.." Charles reacted quickly to his question, immediately diverting his eyes away to avoid the pink flush of embarrassment washing over his face. Gosh, this was bad.

"Are you sure?" Erik asked once more, his voice filled with exhaustion as the anger in him settled down into but a small flicker of ember.

Charles nodded, managing a quiet but audible "yes". Charles patted the empty space next to him, inviting Erik to sit down. "Erik darling, come sit down with me," Charles smiled warmly as he watched Erik approached and sat down. He brought a tray over with two cups on it, they were filled with tea. "I made tea-" Charles stated before adding, "for the first time in a couple years.."

Erik face softened as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Ah. Alright, I suppose." Erik didn't know what to make of it. Yes, Charles has been isolating himself for a couple of long years and certainly has been drinking liquor for half the time, but seeing Charles state that he made tea for the first time in a long time kind of gave Erik a sense of concern. Like Charles was worried he would get bored on whiskey and rum.

"It might not be.. amazing. I've lost my skill-"

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Erik cut in before Charles could finish his sentence. He knew that if he didn't, Charles would start going on about why he hated himself and all the things he'd done the past years.

However, Erik's assurance didn't help to keep the bubbling feeling of insecurity rising up to his mind. He stayed quiet, looked down at the tray of tea then dumped the entire thing out of a window. "Let's.. just have some whiskey together, hm?" Charles nervously said as he watched the tea spill out onto the ground outside, before turning his attention back to Erik with an uneasy smile.

Erik chuckled at Charles's sudden decision to dump his entire content of tea outside. "Did you really just pour the whole thing out the window? Also, yes, we can have a bit of whiskey."

"I can't imagine it was be any good-" Charles said as he got up to grab the whiskey. With his back turned to Erik, he took advantage of the situation and injected himself with just a little more of the serum, hoping that his companion didn't notice. He couldn't deal with the insecurity crawling up his spine, not right now, not in front of Erik.

Charles walked back over with a bottle of expensive whiskey; how expensive it was he wouldn't remember. He sat down next to Erik again, straightening his back a little, then he went to open the bottle. The bitter smell filled Charles's nostrils, making him scrunched up a bit but he quickly recovered from it.

"Are you alright, Charles? Because you sure don't look it." Erik looked over to Charles as he sat down and opened the bottle, seeing that there was just something off about him.

Charles hummed quietly in response, nodding his head a bit. "I am white alright Erik." Charles replied more verbally. Though his voice sounded levelled and calm, he couldn't quite shake the panic in his eyes and how his brows were furrowed as if in concentration or trying to hide something

Erik titled his head in suspicion that his friend was hiding something from him. Obviously, he wasn't taking Charles's act or any of his lies, but he still kept calm. "Really? Because your face says otherwise." Erik asked once again, his voice was hinted with a bit more seriousness and his statement was firm.

Charles was tired of this; it was quickly becoming repetitive and annoying that Erik kept asking him how he felt all the time. But, it was also nice to know someone out there truly cared for him - beside Hank - and was willing to listen to his self-loathing rambles and comfort him at that time.

Still, his point stand: Erik was being a bit too intrusive about his life and health. Charles rubbed his free hand over his face, sighing deeply as he did so. "Just tired, love," Charles mbled into his hand and sighed once more, his eyes fluttering. He hunched over with his elbow on his thigh, supporting the weight of his face while the other still help the whiskey bottle securely.

"I'm pretty sur-" Erik, running on autopilot, hasn't noticed that Charles had just called him "love". When realization did hit him, he paused for a short while, before turning his body just a bit to look at Charles. "Did you just call me 'love'?" He asked interrogatively.

Charles's head shot up from its resting place when he heard Erik asked a question. Well, at least he assumed it was a question, he hadn't quite catched what the question was about. He hummed in reply, and in question as well.

Erik's eyes narrowed a bit as Charles looked up at him. Strange, was this another one of those forgetful moments Charles was having? Supposedly it must be another side affect the serum has. "I could have sworn you called me 'love'." Erik confirmed his question again, but this time as a statement.

Charles's face dropped slowly as he realized the situation. Great, another. He hasn't planned for it to be this way today, and he seriously did not want to ruin the mood, yet he did. Charles dug his blunt nails into his forearm, and though hoping Erik wouldn't notice, he did, but he didn't comment on it. "I don't think I did." Charles replied with a quiet, and rather worried voice. He's been bother with this ever since the day he forgot what exactly he said to offend Hank.

Erik didn't want the situation to escalate, especially if it was Charles who was the one having a problem he couldn't control, so he relaxed a bit and willed his furrowed brow back up into a neautral expression. "It's quite alright. It's not like it's a bad thing." His voice was levelled and calm, making sure he didn't make Charles upset.

"I.. still apologize." Charles said again.

"For what?" Erik asked back.

Charles was quite for another moment, his nails digginger deeper and possibly leaving red marks on his forearm. His grip on the whiskey bottle has gotten considerably tighter as well, and if possible, he could shatter the bottle. "..I'm not quite sure." Charles muttered. He fiddled with the mouth of the whiskey bottle, wiping back and forth on the glass. He really didn't feel like talking.

"Then why apologize?" Erik asked, letting out a quiet chuckle. Charles glanced at Erik; he didn't know if Erik found this amusing or if he was concern; either way, Charles didn't want pity.

Charles shrugged, refusing to talk otherwise he'd start another argument or end up crying like the lady time. He held the bottle by the neck and started drinking the bitter content inside like he's never drunk. The stream flowed down his throat, burning it in a way that was pleasant, in a way that could silence his mind. At this, Erik's face was plagued with concern; watching his friend drink like this could only mean he was not feeling himself.

Over the course of not even two minutes, Charles has easily down a third of the bottle  before he placed it back between them. Using his free hand, he wiped away the saliva and whiskey that dripped out the side of his mouth; his breath stank and and his breathing was uneven. Well, he did breath through his nostrils as he was drinking, but he supposed it didn't got him enough air to last.

Erik still stared in concern, his brows furrowed making creases on his forehead, mouth opening and closing multiple times yet no sounds or words came out. Charles noticed that the previous exhaustion from before has completely faded. Huh, he'd forgotten Erik was bone tired about the kidnapping thing.

"I really don't think you should have done that in one shot," Erik finally spoke, his concern voices out in each words he spoke.

"Well I did," Charles said, wheezing a little at the end of his sentence and bursted into a small coughing fit, using his free hand to beat against his chest to get the air out. God, Erik was right, he really shouldn't have, now his throat burned like hell and it was desert dry.

"Yeah, and I don't think you should have," Erik repeated with a tinge of annoyance, but he was nevertheless concerned for Charles. The telepath shrugged, and, holding out the bottle, he added: "Want some..?" His voice was a little hoarse and quiet from the coughing, but it was audible. At this point, even a whisper could be described as talking at a normal volume, this freaking Mansion was so quiet all day.

"Yeah," Erik replied, practically laughing as he spoke. "Yeah, I would like some before you drink it all." He repeated and gripped the bottle by the neck then drink half of what remained before settling it back down. I'm the process, Charles dumbly nodded twice.

Though his laugh sounded more of a chuckle of mockery and amusement towards the weak and pathetic, Charles would say that it was the most genuine laugh he's heard since yesterday. It was low and properly pronounced, the curves of his lips widened as he laughed and his eyes squinted slightly. Erik was, respectfully, very attractive in Charles's eyes.

Realizing what he did, Erik muttered "Ah, well.." under his breath. It was reckless of him to drink half of the remaining content like he didn't just tell Charles he shouldn't drink a third of the bottle's original content. It was like he put out a rule he expected of others around him just to go against that very rule himself. Erik was at an absolute loss for words, muttering quietly and thinking of what to say or of an excuse for the situation Charles caught him in.

Charles rolled his shoulders and giggled at Erik's attempt to explain himself. Partly because he found it amusing since it was Erik at a loss of words and partly that he was also somewhat drunk. Erik sighed and let his eyes wander and roam over Charles's face; his expression, his flushed pink cheeks, the creases around his eyes, the adoring smile - Erik couldn't ever get enough of Charles's joyful moments. Soon, the man let his eyes roamed the room. Everything was messy and dirty; the table littered with papers and pens unused for several years, the chair askew, the jacket drapped over it had already collected dust.

The room was silent before Erik could notice. He stilled, though not tensed, to listen to his and Charles's surroundings. "Why have you stuck around..?" Charles's voice cut through the silence, low and full of sadness and self-pity.

Drifting his eyes back to Charles, he found that Charles was ever the more upset, he didn't even attempt to make eye contact with his companion. Erik placed his hands in his lap, flexing them out on his thighs as he looked at Charles. "What do you mean?" He asked. And though the answer might be cleared than any glass, Erik still wanted to try and comfort Charles to the best of his abilities.

Charles brought on if his legs up the the bed, placing it gentle down on the mattress. "I haven't exactly been a good host. Why have you stuck around me..?" Charles said a little hesitantly, shrugging a bit and diverting his gaze to the floor.

"Who cares about how you host?" - Everybody apparently, Charles thought - "Isn't it the company that counts?" Erik asked, voice neutral but he sounded upset, and kind of desperate to comfort and cheer Charles up.

Charles could think of a million reasons why he hasn't been as great a host as Erik thought, and certainly Erik could have possibly chosen anyone's company over his. However, his mind was fuzzy and wouldn't allow to think properly, so he stayed silent for a moment.

"I cannot imagine I've been good company either.." Charles mutter, wiping at his eyes. Charles knew he was tired and on the verge of crying, but he brushed it off and instead lied to himself that his eyes felt itchy.

Erik frowned at the state, and he looked more angry than worried, though of course ethat was still the main emotion. "Said who? As far as I am concerned, you're excellent company." Erik said with a hint of irration, not at Charles but at whoever told him so.

Charles shook his head and huffed, "Don't bullshit me.." The way he said it was bitter but familiar.

Erik chuckled a bit and scooted closer to Charles until their shoulders were basically brushing each other. Charles didn't seem to notice, and Erik didn't bring it up. "Who said I was?" Erik asked, his voice was a little raspy with a soft undertone to it.

Charles still refused to meet his eyes, staring at a suddenly interesting invisible dot on the floor. "The fact that I was taking the serum in front of you yesterday says enough.."

Erik thought and recalled the moment, and yes, he was quite made at Charles for making such a decision, but he wasn't entirely in control of himself. Erik sighed - it seemed he's been sighing a lot more these than than usual - and fidgeted with his hands. "So that wasn't the smartest thing you could have done when I was around." It sounded like a statement, though the end of the sentence curled up. It didn't seem like Erik was going to continue talking either.

"I haven't given you any sort of intellectual conversation," Charles gritted out, his hands beginning to dig into his forearms again as he hugged himself, retreating away from Erik. He was afraid of what his only friend would say about him, all the negative things he could've said, yet he chose to deal with these difficult and irritating situations with kind words.

Charles couldn't understand. Yes, he was aware that this wasn't his Erik, and that he was capable to giving more than sympathy and concern, but they were still the same kind of person; he could still kill anyone in an instant if they annoy him, he still has the capability of instilling fear into anyone and everyone who came as near as to offend him. He was still Erik Lensherr,  he was still Magneto.

"Who said conversation has to be intelligent all the time?" - At this Charles snapped out of his trance and glanced at Erik - "Who said they have to be intelligent?" Erik said with a knowing and rather intelligent voice, hand on Charles's shoulder in a soft but firm grip.

"I figured you'd keep better company than.. me." Charles spat out the words, referring to himself with disdain. Erik has a whole kingdom, for goodness's sake! Of course he has better company, anyone better compared to Charles!

Erik muttered a rather sarcastic but frustrated "Oh please" which caught Charles's attention. He lifted his head up a bit and, muttered a quiet "What?", waited for Erik to continue his sentence or thought aloud.

"Really? It's been literally years since I have had company. So I'm absolute shit with it." Erik said with bitterness, emphasizing some words to get his point through with him, to make sure Charles understand that he himself wasn't great company either. He hasn't seen his children in a while, and Pietro still hated him. It was difficult enough that he really wanted to care for Charles even if he didn't know how to do it properly.

"Yeah.. well still.." Charles insisted, fidgeting with the sleeves of his robe, looking away once again from Erik to avoid feeling too bad about himself.

"Still what?" Erik's voice softened. Of course he knew "still what", but he just still didn't get why Charles kept insisting that he was a bad person. Indeed, he's been through some horrible shit Erik couldn't begin to comprehend, but all can be mended with time. Charles was too wallowed up in his own self-pity that he didn't realize that he had the potential to make all better, to feel and be better.

"I don't know why you stuck around," Charles said again, furrowing his eyebrows like if he didn't do so, the tears will start flowing again. He stopped fidgeting with his sleeves and instead moved on to pinching himself. Pain is a horrible thing, but it's been the only thing keeping him grounded, otherwise he's been gone since long.

"Maybe because," Erik paused and sighed. There was no other way he was going to drive his point home, so no option was better than to come clean, to be straightforward about it. "Because deep down I like you." Wrom said though hesitantly. He didn't know how Charles was going to react to his affection, considering this was the kind of affection that came in the form of romance, not the kind of affection Hank has given him.

Charles jerked in shock at hearing this revelation. "You.." Charles stuttered, trying to process the information through his hazy mind. Erik liked him? Like, romantically? The feeling was mutual? Charles flushed pink and his body grew hotter, "why?" He asked quietly, almost desperately. If Erik doesn't hate him then how can he hate himself? He's been living in self-loathing for so long that if something like this managed to make him love himself, he might faint.

Erik, a bit flustered, avoided Charles's curious gaze. He didn't know what to say; he likes Charles, yes, but what are the reasons? What has Charles done to give Erik theses feelings? He didn't know, and couldn't answer directly. "Well, there shouldn't be a reason to like something or someone." Erik answered vaguely.

Charles sighed, shaking his head a bit. He wasn't deserving of Erik's kind heart, and Erik deserved someone better than him, someone who wouldn't deny all of his affection and compliments, someone who would actually try their best to change their terrible ways. Someone that wasn't like himself.

"I just feel like.. I'm.." Charles paused, "I don't know.." No used telling Erik he hates himself, or the fact that he wasn't good enough for Erik. He's heard it all by now.

"As far as I am concern, you are fine, maybe a little rough around the edges, but fine." Erik said and added carefully and quickly to make sure Charles didn't try to talk back to him to tell him how he hated himself.

"I'm worse than that," Charles murmured.

"High doubts there, Charles. Everyone has problems." Erik retorted calmly. Charles has problems, but so does everyone else, himself included. Erik might be the mighty Magneto, king of Genosha, but he will just be a nobody outside his kingdom; nobody will respect him like the people in his kingdom would. Erik has issues concerning his past and emotions and personality, and he knew he has to fix that one day, but hasn't worked up the motivation to do so. He was like Charles in many ways, yet different.

"Have I not brought so much chaos into your life..?" Charles asked with a hurt voice, the quiet sobs that threatened to burst made itself known to both men.

"No, not at all." Erik tried, putting his hand on top of Charles's as both laid on the bed, supporting their respective owner's weight. Charles didn't move his hand away, but he did flinch a bit with the contact was made.

"…sure." Charles said sarcastically, wiping his eyes with the heel of his free hand. They both stayed silent for a moment.

Erik wasn't as mad as he should be, but he was so done and fed up with Charles's self-pity, but he still wanted to help Charles. Now, that's the worst part; despite Charles denying all of the help - except the affection - that Erik has given him, he still wanted to help this pathetic excuse of a man. "Oh please, I've been through worse. Compared to other things, chaos has never been introduced by you. Maybe trauma, which you do need to work on, but not chaos." Erik said this with reluctance, afraid he might accidentally hurt Charles's feelings; always when Erik wanted to comfort Charles, he knew he had to add some things that he felt like Charles needed to work on, but it was because of those that made Charles felt he was undeserving of the help his friend offered.

This time was no exception. Charles didn't speak and didn't look at Erik, his greasy hair falling down to cover the side of his face, shielding his vision and Erik's sharp eyes. He took another sip of whiskey to avoid answering. Charles was sort of glad he wasn't bringing chaos into his friend's life, but at the same time he felt he was still.

Though Charles's hair shielded his face, Erik still offered a small smile. Reaching up to cover Charles's hand on the bottle with his, he slowly lowered it and let his fingers rest on Charles's lips. Charles, on the other hand, was stunned; well, he did want to see what Erik was going to do, but he never thought he was going to do this. Charles was red, perhaps like a tomato, at this action, and all Erik gave him was a chuckle. A fucking chuckle.

Charles was aware of what he looked like, but he didn't make an attempt to hide it or move away from the touch. Rather, he was slowly leaning in, bit by bit, just to see Erik's reaction and if he would reciprocate.

Erik realized the situation and smiled. He tilted his head, leaning in with Charles as well; though he quickly started to get a bit uncomfortable in his skin. Not from Charles doing this, no, but from the fact that he didn't get a chance to properly change out of the bloody clothes after that one incident. His pants were still coated in the anonymous's blood and with how the blood was drying out and soaking into the fabric, it made him feel itchy.

Charles stopped dead in his tracks when he sensed that Erik was uncomfortable. He leaned back a bit to look at the man's feature, and saw that his brows were furrowed and he was shifting in his seat on the bed. "You.. alright?" Charles asked, the internalized panic starting to rise up and laced itself around his spoken words.

Oh no. No, no. This was bad. Really bad. He didn't want Erik to get uncomfortable with him! He thought.. he thought that it was alright, that Erik wanted this as much as he did, but was his assumption wrong? Why must Charles always keep his hopes up when he knew that nothing good will life ever give him.

"Oh, yes. I'm fine," Erik said nonchalantly, his voice was unsteady and very off-tone. Erik was not going to back away from this, he was not going to make Charles feel unwanted. He was wanted, and by god he will feel that way for the rest of his life, and Erik will make sure of that for as long as he live and walk on this planet's surface. He was going to sit through this even if his own body didn't want to.

"You sure?" - Charles backed away a bit more - "Did I do something-?" Charles didn't know what other word he could use instead of "wrong"; Erik wouldn't allow that, he was sure, but he couldn't help but felt that way.

"Oh, no, no, no. You didn't do anything at all. Also, yes, I am sure nothing is wrong." Seeing Charles retreat, Erik himself always leaned snack a bit. The itchiness was starting to get through to him, digging into his bones and making his skin feel like sandpaper.

Charles didn't believe that Erik was fine, and that he didn't do anything to out him off. He didn't believe a word, so instead of asking - which he thought wouldn't be the best approach - he muttered a quiet "Sure..".

"Absolutely."

"Uh huh.." Charles squinted his eyes at Erik with suspicion, worry and anticipation.

"Yes, everything is fine." Erik said again, and as if that would make Charles believe him. One of his legs started shaking, and it was only to help balance the itchiness of his skin. Charles interpreted that differently, and he was worried that Erik was trying to play cool and not hurt his feelings by saying he didn't want this.

Charles pulled away completely, shaking his head and tightening his hands into fists. Erik couldn't lie to him forever, and if he had just told Charles that he didn't want this, Charles would've backed off. And yet, here they were dealing with it. "..no, it's not and don't lie to me again- did I do something- what did I do?" Charles raised his voice, brows furrowed and he glared at the man across from him. He didn't have his telepathic abilities, he couldn't read Erik's mind, so all he was asking for was honesty. Why was that so hard to give, when he literally poured his heart and soul out to Erik?

"Nothing, you did absolutely nothing. Promise." Erik said again, his expression hurt and worry, trying to convince Charles that it really wasn't him. But it'd be embarrassing to confess that the blood was starting to make him feel itchy. He didn't have spare clothing.

Charles instinctively tried to reach for his temples, but when he remembered that the serum was still flowing in his system, he just turned away instead. Erik sighed, looking away from Charles and stopped reaching out for him; seriously, what kind of friend was he? Couldn't even tell his friend he was covered in blood and was itchy s he wouldn't ruin the moment. Erik took a moment to think of the proper words to tell Charles the situation he was in, and he sighed again.

"Look, Charles, it really isn't you. With how things happened, I didn't really get a chance to properly change out of the clothes I had on during the..." - murder, Erik thought but decided not to use that - "thing, and, well, the blood is drying in a way that itches. It's not a big thing, just a bit irritating." Erik said with a rather strained voice, stopping and tripping over his words every now and then.

Really? That's it? Just because of bloody fucking clothes that Erik got Charles worrying he might have done something wrong. Charles stared with disbelief without a word for a moment, and damn it! What the actual hell?!

"..then change out of the bloody clothes, Erik! Had me worry for no damn reason!" Charles yelled at Erik like he was scolding a small child. He scooted closer and swatted Erik gently across his arm.

"I don't carry spare clothes with me, Charles. Besides, it is not that much of a problem." Erik said, looking at Charles apologetically as he offered him a reassuring smile.

Charles looked at Erik with a deadpan expression. Yeah, no. He got up from the bed and started rummaging through his closet for clothes of Erik's size and that we're comfortable to wear. Erik sat on the bed, unmoving except when he itched himself.

"Ch.. Charles, it's fine." Erik attempted to stop Charles from his current mission. It was sort of fine, not entirely but still fine enough that he could change his clothes later.

"Not fine," Charles insisted, throwing clothes out behind him on the bed. He didn't know if the clothes exactly land on the bed, the floor or Erik, but at the moment, he didn't care that much.

The clothes were, in fact, flying into Erik's face, and he did his best to catch a dn put them in a pile on the bed. He was getting slightly worried for his position in this situation. "Charles, you don't have to do this. It's fine." Erik said once more, a tinge desperation and irritation were in his voice as he continued to catch the clothes flung in his direction.

Finally, Charles threw a robe at Erik's face with incredible accuracy that even he failed to catch it. Charles had his arms akimbo, staring down at Erik with a displeased and worried expression. "Go shower and change," was all that Charles said as he pointed Erik to his personal bathroom located in the room

Erik looked at the robe, then looked at Charles, the diverted his attention to the bathroom and back. "I.. I have a feeling you're not going to let this go." This was the correct assumption, for Charles intented on getting Erik comfortable in his own skin again.

"Absolutely not." Charles replied, though he wasn't asked a question. It was more of a confirmation than anything else.

Erik sighed, then balling the robe under his arms, he got up and headed for the bathroom. At this point, he was done trying to convince and have Charles lay of off it.

[altraviolet]

Hello I hope you're having a lovely day, just had a quick question. Im not sure if anyone has asked you this before but have you ever considered making a hard copy of The Echo Garden? Im a sucker for hard cover books and I just had the idea that it would be awesome if you had your own. Especially if all the art work that's been made for The Echo Garden was at the end of the book like how the do for The Art of Transformers One or The Art of Transformers Fall of Cybertron ect...

hi! yes, it's a lovely day, thanks :)

I would be extremely into making hard copies of TEG if it weren't illegal to do so. to be more specific- it's kiiiiiind of a gray area if I were to bind my own fic. it's definitely illegal if I were to bind my own fic and then sell it. it's kiiiiiind of a gray area if you were to bind my fic and keep it for yourself, or gift it to a friend. it's definitely illegal if you were to bind my fic and then sell it (and I would be very mad at you). and it's definitely illegal for you or me or anyone else to get my fic printed through a print-on-demand company, or someone selling fanfics on etsy, or anything else like that

the reason you can buy books from Hasbro about TF1 or the video games is because Hasbro owns the rights to the characters and they can do whatever they want with them

I don't own the rights to the characters, but I do own the rights to my work. kind of. fanfic is a legal gray area and the reason it continues to exist is because we don't make money off of it. AO3 is very clear about this, and it's part of what makes the website strong and free and able to exist

I've heard that fan art technically exists in this exact same legal gray area, but big companies are much more lenient about it for a bunch of historical reasons. someone who makes fan art can even use it in a portfolio and even get hired by a comic company- it happened to a lot of IDW1 fan artists, they got hired for IDW2

but fanfic writers cannot (to my knowledge) use fic in their portfolios. you ESPECIALLY cannot use fic of an IP in your portfolio to apply to that IP (editors WILL NOT read fanfic). there's lots of legal reasons for this, most of which I only understand at a very surface level

at this time, TEG is the most popular TF fic, at least on AO3. it would be extremely noticeable if printed copies popped up- and that would make me very angry. I am not willing to be mired in any kind of legal action or dispute or distribution of my work. I do not give permission for it to be printed, unless it's in the very specific instance of someone printing the fic on their own printer and binding the fic for themself or for a friend

so yeah!! if I could buy a license from Hasbro and legally get hard covers made, I heckin' would. but I cannot do that and I'm not willing to stick my neck out and possibly get fanfic thrown into court, where companies would then HAVE to set legal precedents about it, which might axe it, if not for good, in a very severe way

thanks for the thought tho! I do think that fanfic will eventually have some kind of license precedent in law (assuming the tech bros don't monetize it via AI and then lobby for law changes that allow only their AI to do it, or something equally vile and terrible): the 'vulgar arts' have a way of ascending into capitalism eventually

have a good day =)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I saw your ATSV reaction post and wanted to chime in a little about Miguel and Spiderman 2099. Because I love him but also your reaction to him is 100% correct, and I am also lowkey mad about people jumping straight to 'he did nothing wrong'-ing/fetishizing him.

Like, Miguel is trying his best (as Spiderman) but he's not a nice person! His arrogance and hot temper are major tenets of his character. His comics run is Mostly him fucking up his interpersonal relationships, finding out new horrible layers to the bad things that happen/ed to him, and then reacting poorly to those things (then dying) (he got better). I thought it was actually very fun of Sony to make him the Spider Society guy because he's the last person I would put in charge of anything. Like there's some fun commentary to be made on the fact that Miguel's canon lore also very much does not line up with the average Spiderman's backstory, while he's being written as placing himself in a position to act as arbiter-of-Spider-People, when he only Became a Spiderperson himself as part of a cascade of Reacting Poorly To Things.

(Be a corporate genetic engineer in the Horrid Capitalist Future -> trying to make A Spider-Man -> first human test goes horribly because your evil boss won't listen to you about the feasibility of your work -> try and quit via emotional outburst -> your boss gets you secretly addicted to illegal future drugs that are 100% addictive because they bond to your DNA or some nonsense -> your boss blackmails you into continuing to work on the person-melting Build-A-Spiderman genetics machine -> you decide to use the genetics machine to reset your DNA to before you were addicted to genetics-altering drugs -> your jealous co-worker sets the machine to give you 50% spider DNA instead -> you are mutated into a Horrid Spider Man -> you react to his by trying to kill yourself -> you live because your bullshit spider mutations save you -> all this and your drug addiction isn't even cured -> have the revelation that Capitalism Is Bad -> later find out your evil boss is also your dad)

It's unfortunately 100% in character for him to react to being happy and then incidentally destroying his own happiness (which, I have seen some wild takes about the whole 'replaced himself in another dimension' thing, but let's be real Miguel doesn't think he Deserves to be happy, so it was probably a BIT more complicated than him just being like 'hey free AU') by aggressively trying to police the multiverse because he's unfortunately a genius and also unfortunately just incredibly angry and aggressive and fueled by his own deep self-loathing and guilt.

Which is a long-winded way of getting around to the fact that Miguel using cult tactics on the Spiderpeople is because Miguel is using cult tactics on Himself to justify his actions (to himself) as part of (get this) a further cascade of Reacting Poorly To Things.

I'm personally still staggered by the fact that they made Miguel the Spider Society guy, like, I am really hoping this pans out in BTSV because, yes, Miguel has a storyline about messing around with the timeline, but that was Time not Dimensions, so I do want there to be a reason beyond 'who is the most maladjusted and traumatized and ill-tempered Spiderperson to be our antagonistic authority figure?'

Sorry this got long but ATSV has really unlocked new depths of hell for me in terms of 'niche comics character that doesn't get much attention now suddenly getting lots of attention'. I want to talk about my little guy but also my little guy needs to be appropriately contextualized and not belt-sanded into a dreaded fandom archetype.

god there's nothing I love more than a rant off a comic book fan whose little guy is being interpreted wrong. I spend most of my time in DC spaces so getting to reach across the aisle with empathy to a Marvel dude feels great, really bringing people together.

[mandy4ever69420]

elaborate on your last post?

i've actually been marinating on this more or less nonstop! like how to phrase it and stuff. i have, like, notes.

& part of this is i had some spoilers as to who mickey WAS before i watched the show because he was what was dangled in front of my face like a pie in a window to get me to watch shameless. but the thing about mickey is like every thing you learn about him CAN absolutely be traced to his behavior in s1. mickey's one of the most consistently and unrelentingly himself characters in the show (the other is debbie). everyone else has like personality crises.

you can fit a shitload of development into someone like mickey being aggressively himself the whole time because he has every reason to be afraid of the consequences of his personality w/out actually being insecure or not knowing himself. so we as the viewer get to know him w/out any of the information being startling in any way from the jumpoff of s1. it's insane that i'm pretty sure he was meant to only exist in season one i just know he'd be haunting some psyches.

he like never apologizes for his personality. which is i think easy to attribute to "confidence" as a sort of nebulous concept but i think he's just kind of a realist. everything he hides has a very straightforward reason behind it and when the reason disappears so does his hesitance to just be that. & i think a lot of what reads as confidence comes from disinterest in other people's opinions & a pretty intense pragmatism and get-shit-done-ism. mickey kind of sorts people into "who gives a fuck" or "useful" & eventually he expands his "people who matter" category enough that even people he doesnt gaf about in the main cast he at least doesn't want to piss them off.

another thing about this is i've seen sometimes people who over-relate (very understandably) to mickey sort of take very seriously how much he must've been hurt in end of s5, end of s7. which is. i mean i will be honest i KNEW it was coming and watching love songs in the key of gallagher RUINED MY WEEK. which is a good thing. because i am out of my mind. but i think sticking on "well, ian should've been more sorry, or said something nicer later" out of feeling bad for mickey misses a little the point where what i really see in mickey is a "it hurt. obviously. extremely badly. fucking anyway" sort of angle.

this ^ isn't something i know how to explain very well. there's kind of a difference between going "well that was horrifying and i need to throw the fuck up" and moving on, and the sort of therapy-speak adjacent urge to linger over how everyone should be looking at their feelings about it. not mickey's language IMO. so mickey's pretty in tune with what's going on in ian's head so when ian hurts his feelings on purpose he's like mad that it worked, you stupid jackass. and then ian's guilt is sitting right there and he's like well you were so mean but it's more important to me that i can be around you than that my feewings are made much of. mickey's pretty steadily uncomfortable with touchy-feely validation or anything. this interpretation is also a me thing. obviously everyone's reads are going to be informed by their life experience but this is what makes sense to me.

1 of the biggest things i've noticed rewatching is how FAST plotlines start moving when mickey decides he's getting something done. which is interesting because he's also one of the least ambitious characters in the show.

mandy and ian both really believe they can get something nicer and safer and better (&fancier) out of life. mandy has the strongest drive out of them to grab something nice for herself (like.. even vicariously through lip, she's always trying) mickey is kind of right that it's not realistic for everyone to get something better than where they grew up. it's depressing as fuck to be resigned to but especially with a criminal record it's pretty predictable under capitalism that you would just get stuck. these things happen to people

it's very sweet to me that ian keeps dragging mickey along to like nice places and optimism while mickey is like be so for fucking real. weird enough this is the most mickey has in common with lip - the "steal it or scam it" observation that lip makes, but mickey is chill with breaking more serious laws and being arrested for it. & lip also doesn't go for ambition the same way other people in the show do because he has noticed these patterns. he aims for a nebulous "more" jump up in the class system ONCE specifically because of mandy.

fiona is the opposite to all this ^ naturally. in the way that her ambition keeps coming back to bite her way harder than anyone else, because she gets caught up in her ideas of how to expand and do better and bigger really fast. funny enough both lip's "well it has to be a scam and you can't ever actually get anywhere" and fiona's "i bet if i just played my cards right i could make a million bucks rn" philosophies are frank traits.

BUT ANYWAY i also really like how mickey's pragmatism sort of lands him to being a very romantic person. because once he has reason to care more about someone else he decides to put all his eggs in that fucking basket. contrast -> ian is A Romantic. he wants to believe in like a soulmate and he pretty obsessively pursues validation through means of romance. m/while mickey never plans to be in a relationship and commits really hard when he decides that that's where he's going.

which comes to mickey's impressive skills at reading people. when he's not just completely disinterested, he can predict people really well. which is obviously like a survival technique but is also the only explanation of why he'd come back twice after getting written out. maybe it wasn't supposed to be the way his character played out but it can be traced back to s1 with the information we have and is the only way that his actions make sense.

& in like. the completely fucking insane way that mickey is as gentle as he is. you even see the intent here in his introduction. sure, he's showing up in a violent way to enact revenge. which being into prison abolition i don't necessarily agree with. but it's sweet! like, i know the revenge mob is kind of a THING but with everything that he does following it also seems very personal. so he shows up and the first thing he really wants is someone to look after. ian gallagher you may not believe you need a fucking caretaker but you literally snatched up the single person most desperate for someone to take care of

-> wrt gentleness also: i cant get over how fucking bonkers it is to be a violent teenager having a Massive mental breakdown and that mickey refuses to start the physical side of the "you love me and you're gay" confrontation. not a hand until ian shoves him multiple times. even though ian showed up explicitly as an attempt at using mickey to punish himself for something he really thought was his fault! what the fuck!!

um but anyway with mickey's fucking anger going on also i was personally very touched by him as a fantastic way to represent irritability and anger as an anxiety response. because anger is really fucking like that. again, visible from his intro to the end. ya habibi...

[inlovewithregencyera]

Elmsworth House, July 4th, 1818

John: And that damn scandalous politician, Theophile Baxter! I will not be voting for that bloody liberal!

Elizabeth: Please dear, reduce your swearing.

Peregrine: I wouldn't say Baxter is completely liberal, John. Some of his policies are more conservative than liberal. I don't like him much either though so he doesn't have my vote!

Helena: *sighing* Must you always bring up politics during dinner, Perry?

Peregrine: No dear but-

Helena: I dare say, may we change the topic?

Ashley: I think Miles Bragg is a very good polit-

Helena and Peregrine: Oh shut it, Ashley!

Emma: What do you think of this muslin, Laurence? Does it make me look like a proper young lady?

Laurence: If you ask me about another damn "mouslin" or whatever the devil it's called I believe I'll go mad!

Emma: It's called muslin!

*Laurence sighs*

William: Mar-Dear Ms. Ramsbury. Are you enjoying your dinner?

Martha: Yes-yes. Quite well.

William: Capital!

Aurelia: I think your muslin is lovely Ms. Carew. Please disregard your dear brother.

Emma: Oh thank you, Lady Aurelia!

Patience: Oh yes, it's very lovely. I'm not sure why Mr. Carew hates muslin so!

Laurence: My apologies my dearest Lady...oh and Mrs. Ramsbury.

Aurelia: *whispering* Why are you looking at me like that? Are you cross?

Frederick: *whispering* Am I cross, "My dearest Lady.."? Perhaps I "je n'aurais pas à résister à l'envie d'embrasser tes lèvres pulpeuses et d'embrasser ta silhouette parfaite..." or whatever the hell he said.

Aurelia: Oh heavens, it worked.

Frederick: Whatever do you mean it worked?!

Aurelia: You paid no compliments to my hair. I thought you didn't notice it. I did it this way for you and you paid me no compliments!

Frederick: I noticed you and your pretty blue silks the moment you stepped into the drawing room. Had I not been engaged in conversation with your uncle, I would've gone and talked to you.

Aurelia: I'm sure of it. I still haven't received a compliment on my hair from you, perhaps I shall invite Mr. Carew to my birthday in four da-

Frederick: Dearest, sweetest, loveliest Lily. I love your gorgeous hair and how those little ringlets adorn your beautiful face. I love that style and if it makes you happy, I would wish you wear it more often. Not saying I don't like any other style you wear, but that one is my favorite so far. Is this good enough for you? Please know that I sincerely mean it.

Aurelia: *blushing* More than good enough.

Frederick: Now will you stop giving that scoundrel any ounces of your attention and affection?

Aurelia: I shall try.

Aurelia: *giggling* I shall be cordial with him. It is the polite thing to do. You're also a fool if you ever think Cornelius Grey would allow one of his daughters to marry a second son! Let alone an atheist. I'm sure he will invite you to stay with us in Brindleton at Paelford.

Frederick: *laughing* I hope he does. But you tease me too much. You enjoy vexing me.

Aurelia: Admit that you like it when I vex you.

Frederick: I only like it when I do not have the urge to rip someone's tongue from their throat.

Aurelia: Frederick Worthington!

This grandiose dinner continued for the next hour until everyone was stuffed. Aurelia found herself mainly conversing with Frederick throughout this dinner, and no one paid them any mind. It was quite obvious to everyone in the room, including Laurence of the affection they shared, even if it was in modesty due to them being surrounded by others. Peregrine, knowing the coming events decided that the gentlemen would not smoke directly after dinner. Once the table was cleared of dinner and dessert plates, William Carew mustered the courage to arise to make a speech, with his wine glass in his hand.

William: Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed family and friends, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude. The warmth in my heart exceeds the glow of any candle that graces this room. Before we head to the drawing room, I must share with you a moment that has forever altered the course of my life. A fortnight ago, at the ball held by Viscount Markham, I dared to utter words that have forever changed the trajectory of my and Ms. Ramsbury's future. I asked a question that resides in the chambers of every romantic heart. A question that binds souls and weaves fabrics of destiny.

William: I inquired if she would be my forever partner in this so-called journey called life. I asked Miss Martha Ramsbury if she would be my loving, and faithful wife. I am pleased to tell you she has happily accepted!

Helena: Oh my goodness! My dear girl is to be wed, how wonderful! I shall have to ask my dear brother if you two may tie the nuptials at Auglire! Oh Peregrine, how blessed are we!

Peregrine: *in between tears* Yes, quite blessed my dear!

William: To love, to friendship, and to the uncharted seas of me and my dear bride's shared future-cheers!

Everyone in the room stood, and the room was filled with the clinking of crystal, followed by a chorus of heartfelt congratulations and well-wishes. The only one who didn't seem to wish the couple good wishes was Patience Ramsbury, who Aurelia couldn't help but notice her fake smile and discomfort.

Laurence Carew ordered nearby footmen to bring him a bottle of brandy.

Laurence: TO MY FUCKING BLOODY BASTARD OF A BROTHER!

Laurence: HAVE SOME MERRIMENT ON THIS JOYFUL EVE YOU LOT!

John and Elizabeth Carew let out a long sigh at how embarrassed they were by this son of theirs. But their annoyance didn't last long, for their firstborn and heir to their estate was to marry Miss Martha Ramsbury! At this moment, Aurelia realized who Laurence reminded her of. No other than that of Thaddeus Skeffington, a man whom she had a lot of disdain for. Despite her teasing Frederick to get him jealous, she knew she could never marry someone like Laurence. Laurence was more up to speed with her friend Villoria. Frederick was the only man she could ever see herself marrying.

Although she was happy for Martha, she couldn't help but wish she had a ring on her finger and a lace bonnet on her head to share Martha's bliss. How she wished she was Lady Worthington, Countess of Henford. Oh, how she regretted rejecting Frederick's proposal. Perhaps they even would have had babies by now had she accepted.

[aquadestinyswriting]

Ayyyy, Aqua! :D Happy STS! So I'm making my way through Titan Modern AU, and . . . actually, take two questions on it. 8)

I have legitimately looked everywhere, and I am severely curious. :') Have you thought of a title for this one, or is its title literally just Titan Modern AU?

More importantly, tho, how much did you have to change to make the world of Fangthane's Folly fit the modern day? (And what did you end up keeping? I notice there's magic and dwarves, but how different are these bits compared to their DnD roots?)

Hope this ask finds you well! :D o/

Hi Jax, this is technically a day late, but not really because time zones are a thing :P. I am very well, thank you. I am enjoying the fact that the words seem to be flowing quite easily for the time being and taking advantage of that to write a lot for all my ongoing series and creating new ones. Thanks very much for the questions, I have a lot to talk about with this AU :D. Answers are under a cut because the second one is going to get quite long.

Question 1

I don't currently have an actual title for this one yet. I have a tendency to title WIPs towards the end of writing them and this one is no exception. I have some vague ideas, but I'm not too concerned about it just yet. Especially since there's a high possibility that this one is going to throw some major curveballs my way once I get into the thick of the plot that might well change the kind of title I want to give it.

Question 2

Ah, the dwarves are technically not a thing for this one. Everyone is more or less human, unless it's directly stated otherwise. The reason Fangthanian women can have beards at all is down to a slight genetic quirk which means they are pre-disposed to much higher testosterone levels than average. The Throffite community, in particular, is very insular and tend to inter-marry within themselves due to a history of discrimination against them.

As to how I changed the setting to fit with the modern aesthetic:

I've modelled Fangthane city a little bit after towns like Fort William, since the location of Fangthane in Allansia has a relatively similar geography to that of the Scottish Highlands. So Fangthane city is no longer built into the mountain, but is a city that was built very close to the mountain (which is now called Ben Oir). Extrapolating from there, and taking into account the maps that exist of Allansia, it was a a matter of figuring out how and why there would be outposts for the kingdom that are so far away from the capital. In that case, an old empire made a lot of sense, and taking into account the relative time period this AU is set in (roughly the 90s to early 2000s), it also made sense that said empire had been disbanded, but that communities deriving from it still exist (hence why Stonebridge and Firetop are still mainly natively Fangthanian). So, yeah, culturally speaking Fangthane is basically the UK transplanted into Allansia at this point.

I wanted some of the history of Toreguarde to remain intact because there are plot things related to that that will pop up later in the story. The city was almost destroyed, officially, by what is considered to have been a terrorist organisation that was working on behalf of another state and/or one of the ruling council of Toreguarde of the time who went just teeny bit mad with power (Greydown was an absolute ass in canon, and is in this AU too).

As the setting, rather purposefully, appears to be lacking in magic, no mentions are made of demons, portals or the breaking of reality, even by those who were present at the time. The remaining Heroes still exist, but I'm working out what their exact roles in all that were. Egrim is still a priest, so that's him covered. Alexis, upon talking to Dru about it, was probably a sniper that was a part of the military forces of Toreguarde at the time, while Selene was probably some sort of science-y nerd person brought in to help explain some of the weirder stuff that went on that was kind of acknowledged and then later given plausible and sensible scientific explanations. She just happened to be somewhat decent at this diplomacy lark when communication with the reinforcements from Fangthane started going south, hence her current role in the story. She probably worked quite closely with Ivan, who I have yet to figure out the details of, with regards to that. I also need to figure out what Fai did and what happened to him...

I am doing a lot of this worldbuilding and adjusting Fantasy canon on the fly, to be quite honest, so not a lot of it is set in stone just yet. However, I have given some thought to the Throffite community both in Fangthane and in Toreguarde and some of their history and culture, drawing a lot on what I established about Throffism in the fantasy canon and doing some major research into the irl history of such things to make sure that anything I write about it is handled as sensitively as possible. I have also written copious notes on the hows and whys of the fractious relationship between Fangthane and Toreguarde that would fit in with more modern (Western, as that is what I'm familiar with) political norms.

[tobiasdrake]

I know what it looks like but it's not what you think. I'm just trying to harass your top scientist into revealing company secrets. It's cool.

This would be the funniest possible time for Huesca to die. We've done Locked Room Quartet. We've done Open Air Locked Room. Are you ready for the Most Locked-est Room Ever Locked!?

The same underlings who tried to solve the last four murders? Sure, those guys are credible.

What is Yomi implying here? That Makoto came down here and knocked out two guards, then left in a car to go pick me up, and then came back down to capitalize on the chaos created by a fake letter he'd sent to Yomi earlier?

Because that... is alarmingly plausible and answers my question as to why that letter would even exist.

Looks like we pushed too hard. Makoto's being placed under arrest.

...so. Like. Am I cool to hang out, Yomi? You're just taking him, right? It's fine for me to still be here?

YUMA NO

YOU FOOL

We almost got away with it. Yomi was so laser-focused that he was legit going to take Makoto and leave us here. Your masterful disguise of freezing up and being so useless that you become mistakable for a floor lamp was working until you spoke up!

Floor lamp. Like I said. Pay us no mind and have a wonderful day. Oh, what is that noise in the distance? Is that the sound of some malcontents? Someone must go step on their necks, and that someone is you, Yomi. You got this, man. I believe in you.

Aww, that hurts my feelings. You were ready to get Halara'd trying to kill us all over me, like, yesterday. :( Am I really that forgettable?

I hope so too. It'd take out this entire building. We've got Yomi and Makoto here at the same time, plus Huesca. That'd solve a lot of problems for Kanai Ward right there.

Alright, we've time-skipped. Now someone is surely dead.

Aren't you a little short for a Stormtroo--Desuhiko. Halara must have delivered my IOU message.

To be fair, I'd be doing shit like this to him if he was the one over a barrel like this. Though I'd be going for more goofy prankster shit. Desuhiko is weirdly obsessed with shilling the Yuma/Kurumi ship at every possible opportunity.

HOLY SHIT, IS THAT YOU, YAKOU!?

Fuck, I thought it'd be Fubuki or Halara. Someone useful. Instead, we get these two clowns. But I suppose it will have to do. Thanks for rescuing me, try not to die on the way out.

DON'T UN-DISGUISE. Y'all have helmets. Just take those off. You don't need to strip down and make yourselves fully vulnerable to being caught, you fucking morons!

He didn't, actually. If he used DIsguise, he would have taken on an appropriate height for a Peacekeeper grunt. This was a disguise, but it wasn't Disguise. Which was honestly for the best.

Given how much Disguise takes out of Desuhiko, a non-Disguise disguise was the right call. With face and body fully covered, there was no need to burn energy on the full shapeshifting shenanigans route.

While true, your behavior in the past has done little to establish a relationship of trust and open communication.

It's like parenting. When you constantly tell Yuma, "DO NOT go snoop around, DO NOT get in trouble with the Peacekeepers, AVOID solving mysteries or doing anything meaningful," and then get mad at him every time he does those things? It's not going to discourage him from doing them. It's going to discourage him from telling you that he's doing them.

If you convey to your child/apprentice that they cannot confide in you about the things they are doing, then they will continue to do those things but they will not confide in you about them. Yuma went behind your back because everything you've said to him up to this point has convinced him that you must be lied to.

My IOU letter!

No, for real, what is that actually? Did Fink the Slaughter Artist tell them I was here?

...that's not a yes.

But it's also not a no. This sent a chill down my spine.

Nuh nuh nuh go back. Don't just yadda-yadda over your arrival here. You have to pass through a biometric scanner to enter the premises. How did you pass through the biometric scanner?

I guess Desuhiko could have Disguised a member of Amaterasu staff to get them through. That shit is practically shapeshifting so it might alter his biometrics. That or they smuggled their way in on, like, a troop transport? Maybe?

That is a fair assessment of what happened, yes. Yuma's floor lamp impersonation needs work.

Yomi had a plausible explanation for that, but obviously Makoto himself couldn't have dropped the letter at the sub. The timing of which still makes me think he did it specifically to get them to come fetch Yuma.

Makoto and Fink aren't proven to be in cahoots but they're likely to be in cahoots. Cahoots are more plausible than not at this point in time.

Hold up, your plan is to kidnap Amaterasu's most highly-protect employee from the middle of their HQ and then walk out?

Yakou, 95% of the time I want you to grow a spine. Then, in the other 5%, you are the boldest motherfucker I've ever met. I love it. I'm here for it. It's too bad Huesca's most certainly dead by now.

HOORAH! LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

Into the poison gas chamber and DIIIIIIIIE!

...plan needs work, but we can workshop it. Gonna stay positive!

The hell is that supposed to mean, Desuhiko? I'll have you know that I have only Disguised as a woman one....

...four....

...five times. Out of five.

Okay, yeah. That's fair. Gimme the female suit and the polyurethane molded breast forms you set aside as mine.

You heard it here, folks. Yuma doesn't have a preference between male or female. Canon he/they.

Purple question-mark hair and pronouns.

You don't need your bag. These were disguises instead of Disguise. You should still have two of the disguises on you, Desuhiko. Would it be that hard to locate a third?

...we're going on this detour so you can make Yuma a female Peacekeeper, aren't we?