#i'm nd what can i say

[marshbarks]

i think its weird how artists and especially youtubers will 'redesign' characters from media they deem problematic as though slapping a new coat of paint on the character erases all the issues they were rooted in to begin with. or as though redesigning the character makes them Better than the original creator, because now its THEIRS

[britneyshakespeare]

you know i had a lot of teenagers be annoying around me today, a couple of them were really obnoxious *to* me today... kind of day that a year and a half ago would make me cry when i got home but as i've built a tolerance for it, i'm fine wake up at 5:30 tomorrow and do it all over again 👍

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

[kicks door down]

Autistic Nishiki whose special interest is fashion and not only considers what's trendy but also looks out for fabrics that aren't a sensory nightmare, however sometimes he will force himself to wear something that isn't comfy for appearance's sake, which leaves him more vulnerable to getting overwhelmed and therefore 'emotional' Also means he has his collar popped like Kiryu's for sensory reasons too and slutty reasons, which would once again make me correct in saying if he undid his collar in Kiwami he'd be normal again because if I were constantly experiencing sensory discomfort I too would be fucked up and evil.

Cause like here's the thing, autistic Kiryu and Majima headcanons are more obvious (especially the former), whereas Nishiki probably comes off as the most 'normal'; he can likely maintain eye contact and talk to people 'normally' and not like, go off on some random tangent about a special interest or hyperfixation. And then you remember masking is a thing.

And okay, so I actually think it's unfair a lot of fandom considers him a 'crybaby' right, cause he's cried in situations MOST PEOPLE WOULD RIGHTFULLY CRY OVER! BUT, I can use this to my Autistic Advantage and have this be he actually struggles to regulate his emotions, and considering he's been exposed to the yakuza world since a young age where ANY emotion that isn't 'respectable stoicism' or 'righteous fury and indignation', he's seen as even MORE overly emotional. Hence the need to start masking so early, PLUS having to protect Kiryu who couldn't mask if his life depended on it because he doesn't realise he may HAVE to (speaking from personal experience, Kiryu definitely went his whole life unaware there was anything ""wrong"" with him (for lack of a better word) and had people just like "oh yeah he's just Like That dw bout it" and went on with his life), so Nishiki takes up the mantle of I'm The One Who Knows What We're Doing Lad's desperate to gain acceptance and will change whatever he has to but people still somehow pick up that Something's Off About Him and so they tend to be disdainful or brush him off. It's easy charisma that can win over hostesses and brief encounters with civillians but can't carry across in the yakuza. Kiwami is him trying his DAMNDEST to act neurotypical even at the cost of his own comfort, and the worst part is it's not working

[pikachu-deluxe]

when will i start to feel real

[briefcasejuice]

i don't have a continuous/relentless internal monologue in the way people usually describe it but i am always thinking about something

[quadrantadvisor]

I'm trying so hard not to be a hater but the more I learn about other ttrpgs the more the way that people talk about dnd annoys me

[high-voltage-rat]

Vyvanse is such a silly little drug. I get up at 11, take it at noon, what's a normal sleep phase I don't know her.

The first hour passes and I'm like "dude nothings happening except me getting sweaty and my heart's going a bit faster" and then I blink and it's another 2 hours later and I've just blitzed doing every chore available to me, organized all my shit for the day, read through 500 tumblr posts, watched some random-ass YouTube clips, and made myself food I don't want to eat because my appetite is suppressed but I know food consumption is a task. It's like all of my ADHD bullshit for the entire day happens at light speed over a few hours.

Then I sit down and can do The Big Task of the day for 5 hours or more and, unlike with a hyperfocus, can remain focused on it even after taking breaks to go do other stuff.

Then the end of the day hits and I'm tired and need to go to sleep but I still feel the Productivity Need so for some reason I watch 50 more "Educational" YouTube videos until it subsides and then finally fall asleep at 2am.

Like. Does it cure my ADHD? Absolutely not. Does it make me less chaotic? No. But does it allow me to consistently channel my ADHD energy productively? Oh, yeah. I'm not 100% sure that's what my doctors were going for when they prescribed it, but I gotta be honest I kinda love it.

[ratspider]

i think that once i have absolutely no upgrading goals left in stardew valley i'm going to divorce harvey and date everyone in the town till i probably eventually go back to harvey again and wipe his memory

[afoolandathief]

fenrir is my favourite!! idk how to explain it but he's so babygirl he's so beloved. idk i kind of identify w/ him so he's special to me (:

🥺

It makes me so happy to know people love Fenrir and identify with him! He changed and grew so much as I wrote him in the first draft of THHT and I'm so excited how he and his relationship with his dad turned out <3

[pollyna]

i would like to point out that this thing isn't sitting particularly well with me, and if I may, your honour, can we actually not do that or even think about doing that.

[okayish-omens]

.

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

I recently did a program on learning to socialise as an autistic adult 'taught' from a neurotypical experience, and it really twigged me to something that I've also been seeing a lot on here. At least once a day I see some post that's along the lines of 'Autistics need to learn XYZ!' And the ones that aren't just thinly veiled ablism (which is like... 3%...) are coming at it sideways.

Let's take the 'Autistics NEED to learn how to make small talk' posts that keep popping up. Before taking this program, I was definitely one of those people who thought Small Talk was actually a code for Cruel Psychological Torture. Turns out I was totally wrong! It's just that neurotypicals are fucking deranged define Small Talk as something completely different from what literally every autistic person I have ever spoken to on the topic would say it is. What they call Small Talk, we see as A Conversation.

The examples given on how to improve your small talk skills were things like 'Ask how ABC made them feel' 'Relate what they just said to an experience of your own' 'Make sure your questions are open-ended so they can expand their answer into more detail.' And I was getting more and more confused as it went on.

That isn't small talk! That's a conversation! It's a chat with a friend over coffee! Apparently anything that isn't a deep, emotionally involved discussion about world changing ideas is considered to be Small Talk to NT people, whereas ND people see Small Talk as standard social scripts of 'Brr, cold enough for ya, Jim?' and 'I really like your hat.'

The only good thing that came out of that program was that I learned I'm actually not bad at any of those skills, it's just that there are two different dictionaries being used to name what those skills are.

[usuallydyinginside]

TLDR: Francesca Bridgerton is Autistic. Fight me.

Okay so I did not go into Season 3 of Bridgerton expecting to have any feelings about Francesca Bridgerton. We have seen her only in glimpses in the show and I have not read the books, so I knew basically nothing about her before binging the first four episodes.

But guys. GUYS. I will die for this autistic queen.

Okay, so starting with first impressions. We know that on her big day, Francesca went out of her way to avoid her nosy, loud family by having a very early, quiet breakfast by herself and then calming down via playing the piano (clearly a special interest of hers).

In her first balls, we see Francesca light up any time she talks about music (clearly her current or forever special interest) but as soon as men try to take it to a flirting place she IMMEDIATELY shuts down. It's clear that even as she states very matter-of-factly that she plans to marry this season, she also is baffled and uncomfortable any time someone tries to actually, ya know, court her.

At one of her first shindigs, she got attention and then went up to her brother and (while making almost no eye contact) told him (rather than asked him) that she needed a sec.

She then sat by herself in the side of the ballroom.

Later on, she left a ball in search of quiet and solitude to fix her sensory overload, so she went outside this time. (A thing that we know from pervious seasons is a HUGE no-no, particularly unchaperoned. But she was very respectfully near the door so maybe that's fine?) The point is that she cares very much about staying respectable so she can get this marriage thing over with and get people to stop perceiving her, yet she risks some scandal by going outside just so she can be somewhere quiet alone.

Enter: this absolute (also autistic) Prince Charming.

He says hello (so she knows he's not like trying to sneak up on her in the dark like a creep) and then just stands there. 10/10, no notes, best way to flirt I have ever seen in my life.

Seriously just look at this. I'm in love. Never before has there been a greater sign of love at first sight than in this "standing politely five feet apart in total silence in the middle of a ball and enjoying each other's company."

I need to go watch these first four episodes about a hundred more times, but I THINK this might be the first sincere smile we see from Francesca??!? I at least got the impression immediately that this is the first time she's felt genuinely comfortable and happy while not entirely alone this season.

Like, these nerds did not even exchange names. They barely exchanged a word. Yet you can see them falling head over heels in love right there in that moment. I don't even LIKE love at first sight tropes and they have my whole heart. They are the only exception.

Then, of course, you have this second absolutely iconic Scene of Silence where the entire Bridgerton family stares in neurotypical confusion a these two amazing weirdos. The way these two do not know each other but they DO know each other. The way they are both so happy and so comfortable but also still playing the whole society game the way they were told they had to?? I just don't have words right now.

LOOK AT HER SMILE, GUYSSSSSSSS.

Look how happy this tiny, silent moment is making her. How she understands immediately what he's doing and is absolutely delighted to participate too even knowing her entire family is hardcore judging them from not that far away.

And then you get this smug little look from him and it's like you can see his autistic ass thinking, "Yes. I calculated correctly. This was the correct romance option. Gold star to me." (Okay, maybe that's just how my brain works but shhhhh)

Which, of course, brings us to this absolutely hilariously awkward ND attempt at flirting. We start off with some fairly normal "whoops, I'm flustered cause you make me nervous" sort of moments, but notice how little eye contact she makes. How she only looks in his eyes very briefly and it seems like she almost has to remind herself to do so when she's doing the "polite" answers (OR later when she's genuinely interested in a topic).

So as soon as Francesca is like "oh shit, I ruined it. I forgot how to neurotypical. It's over" then she loses patience with the practiced social niceties.

I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a GIF and I should already be asleep so I'm not going to go learn how to make one BUT I needed to look up exactly what happens next cause it's basically the most autistic thing I've ever seen.

WHICH IS that in response to the second awkward silence after Francesca shares all of this, John's response is, "That is helpful. If you'll excuse me."

Then dude bro just WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD.

Like it would be awkward anyway but now Francesca thinks she misread a social cue so she's feeling sad, and meanwhile this absolute king is over here on a romantic mission no one asked him to do because he is that set on showing her he's listening and cares.

The man shows up at the ball and as soon as he had a paper we were all screaming "he wrote her a song!!!"

Again, notice the eye contact (or lack thereof). I think with period dramas and women, it's easy to just go "oh she's just shy" or "she's just being demure like she's supposed to" but like NO. This girl does not want to meet anyone's eyes.

Until she does. Because in moments where she's talking about music or enjoying quiet, it's worth it to purposefully meet his eyes and see how he's feeling too. To make sure he can see she's happy.

ANYWAY, it was so much better than him writing a song for her.

SO. MUCH. BETTER.

Because he didn't just give her any ol' music. He sought out the music they'd specifically heard in the street, and he took her exact specifications on what was "wrong" with the music, and he FIXED IT. He then put the whole thing on sheet music and handed her a copy with no further explanation than this.

Our autistic lass was so excited she basically sprinted out of that ball so she could find a piano. (Which, the fact that she does this rather than try to stay and flirt/dance with the man who just gave her this incredible gift ALSO says a lot, just saying. Daphne could never.)

So our girl finds a piano and GUYS. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS.

I'm pretty sure this woman would accept a proposal right this second. Maybe make one herself. She is so head over heels in love with this man that it's absurd. We have watched her mask in these first four episodes, but the last two where she's interacting with John are the first times she seems genuinely happy and like the real her is shining through.

Like, does she enjoy her family? Sure. But it's obvious (and she even tells us) that she finds them overwhelming and generally to be A Lot. But these scenes? This gesture?

You can just get how seen she feels. How weird and wild and amazing it is to her that this man can see who she actually is and wants to join her there instead of making her play some part of the perfect Bridgerton who likes to be the center of attention.

(And even here - the EYE CONTACT. She glances at people when she's talking to them, but the way she looks at the sheet music is so much more intense and intimate and personal than anytime she's looking at the average person in the show. She still even in places she's most comfortable, such as sitting at the piano, makes very little eye contact and only at very specific moments.)

Anyway I'm going to sleep now but I'm sure I'll add more thoughts as they come to me. Feel free to add your own case for why Francesca is autistic and/or otherwise neurodivergent. I want to hear allllllll the thoughts.

[vulpinesaint]

in other news i get two weeks of summer break!!! :D i thought my summer classes were going to just lead me straight into school again but i do actually get some breathing room before it all starts up once more :D

[cosmicmunsonwrites]

can you make one where rafe showed his friends a private pic between and reader and she gets all pissed

do you think i deserved it all?

mean!rafe cameron x desperate!fem!reader

cw — explicit picture, manipulation, gaslighting

summary — you overhear your boyfriend and his friends talking abt a certain photo.

authors note — i’m writing with nails so this may have some typos but please ignore that. this can be read as a standalone but is apart of my mean!rafe series that is listed in order on my rafe masterlist under au's. if you guys have any longer requests, please send em in so i can make these a little more detailed cause my creativity is not flowing for some reason.

do not copy or post my work anywhere else.

you weren't paying attention at all to what was going on around you. rafe, topper, and kelce always talked about stuff you couldn't care less about and that is exactly what they were doing now. the four of you were sat in the living room of the thornton mansion on the couches. your boyfriend was sitting beside you with your feet in his lap as you laid across the soft cushions and his friends were sat across from you two on the other one.

you were currently just mindlessly scrolling through instagram as you plotted your next post. you could faintly hear the boys talking about a variety of things along with the tv playing in the background. you sighed in annoyance when you couldn't find enough pictures and decided you'd be needing to go take some more. you swiped out of the app and began listening to whatever rafe was saying so you could let him know that you'd be needing a photoshoot soon.

"you guys gotta see this shit," he said as he scrolled on his phone and sat up a little straighter. "it's like fuckin' heaven, i'm tellin' you. 'nd she just doesn't care. none of those tantrums about privacy and all that other bullshit. i do whatever i want with 'em."

he leaned forward to show the two whatever he'd pulled up on his phone and their jaws immediately dropped. "holy shit, dude," topper mumbled, completely mesmerized by the screen.

kelce had the same look, leaning in a little to get a better look. "goddamn man. you got her all to yourself?"

your ears perked up at that and you shut your phone off, eyeing rafe wearily. "all mine," he stated with a smug grin. "i've got hundreds jus' sitting in this album. they just keep gettin' better every time i add one."

you felt your heart drop to your stomach and bile begin to rise in your throat. "you're one lucky son of a bitch," topper said with a laugh before sticking his hand up for a high five. "i'll be right back. y'all want any drinks or anything."

rafe looked at you momentarily. "jus' water," he replied, knowing you didn't care for anything else too much.

"i'll take a beer," kelce said while standing along with the blonde. "i gotta take a piss. be back in a minute."

topper let out a hearty laugh and slapped him on the back playfully. "yeah right."

as soon as the two left, you were quickly crawling over to rafe and snatching his phone from his hands. "what the fuck is your problem?" he snapped.

you stared down at it in shock. it was a picture of you from a few nights ago. one taken from a higher angle with your ass propped up in the air, you hair disheveled all across the pillows, your hands gripping onto the sheets by your head, and his cum coating your cheeks and mid-back.

your lip began to tremble and you dropped the phone into his lap rudely. "are you serious? why would you show that to them? do you know how embarrassing that is?"

he laughed. genuinely laughed in your face. "are you serious? it's not that big of a deal. you always blow things like this way out of proportion. you say you want me to show you off and shit and now you're pissed when i do?"

"i didn't mean in a disgusting way," you spat back. "i didn't expect you to go show off a vulnerable picture of me and have you and your friends talk about me like and object as if i'm not sitting right here!"

you could see the frustration building inside of him. he grabbed your wrist harshly and used it to pull you closer to him. "don't you dare fuckin' talk to me like that. before you ever even think about raising your voice at me again, think about who runs this shit, alright? cause it sure as hell isn't you. just remember, i wasn't the one begging for a chance, you understand me?"

a deep red blush creeped up your neck and onto your cheeks out of embarrassment. "I didn't mean it like that rafe," you said quietly. you didn't like when he was mad at you and you definitely didn't want him to leave you. "i'm sorry, i wasn't thinking."

"thats what i thought," he said cockily as he let go of your wrist. "you think i was gonna make a cute little instagram post or somethin'? that what you wanted?"

yes. it was. it was what you were dreaming of. but you knew better than to upset rafe. you were meant to say what he wanted to hear in times like this. you began to convince yourself that maybe he was actually right. maybe it was better this way. "no. i don't want that."

he smiled and chuckled. "good," he replied. “now get your shoes on and get your ass to the car."

your brows furrowed in confusion. you had only been here for and hour or two. "but rafe--"

"do i need to repeat myself?" he was pissed. you didn't need to hear anything else to know that. "get in the fucking car. we're gonna go home and you're gonna sleep off this bratty fuckin' attitude. then when you get up, you're gonna drop all this bullshit and apologize to me the right way. got it?"

you nodded shyly and began to move quickly to find your shoes. you were in for a long, exhausting night.

[rinn-04]

*SCREAMS* OH MY GODDDAAAGGGHGJFFNDNDNDNDNSNDNENDBBDJDNDNDNDMEKDKDMSMDDMDKSLFM THIS IS SOOOOOOOOO COOOLLL AND GREAATTTTTT AND TONY WOULD LITERALLY SAY THAT OMFGFFDJDJSJDNDNDMMDMDMFMSL

Idk if I should send this anonymously or not but fuck it I'm sending you but I'm a bit embarrassed to like- telling you the details lol

So Tony losing his shit when he realised he meet an alien- no a 15 meter tall robot that can transform into a truck with complete battle mask, sword and canon (it's Optimus Prime) that now standing infront of him bcuz he experimented with their life force (Energon) (it's all the government's fault actually)

Thanks! *runs away*

After all my questions, this is *slighly* generic because boy was there a lot of info in the wikipedia article for Transformers: The Last Knight that I could never fit in here. LOL. So we’ve got Optimus and Tony meeting for the first time. 😀

I gotta say, reading up a bit on the Transformers canon is kind of making me want to watch more Transformers stuff. Alas, I’m in the midst of an MCU rewatch at the moment.

I’ve set this prior to Tony removing the arc reactor because of reasons.

-

Tony paced around the semi-trailer truck thoughtfully. It had been delivered by SHIELD almost a week before. Commercial trucks were not usually Tony’s baliwick, but this one had crazy energy readings. Readings that had only been getting stronger. 

He did one more scan before hefting a toolkit in one hand and approaching the cab. “Let’s see what makes you tick,” he said, reaching for the door.

The truck sprang to life, engine roaring, and reversed away from Tony. And then… then seams split all over the vehicle, none of them in any logical place, and slabs of metal twisted and rotated and reformed in a deafening clatter of metal. 

Tony stared as the mass of whirring, shifting metal settled into a humanoid shape. Its head nearly brushed the ceiling of Tony’s vehicle bay, and the red and blue paint job of the semi-trailer could still be recognized splayed across the being’s chest and arms. It held a sword, of all things.

“Holy shit,” Tony breathed. 

It sank to one knee, leaning down to bring its face nearly level with Tony. “As much as I appreciate scientific inquiry,” it said, and its voice did not sound mechanical at all, “I cannot permit you to experiment with Energon.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Tony said. He tapped his arc reactor. “I wouldn’t be too thrilled at someone wanting to poke around my battery, either. How about some questions, though? Because—” Tony broke into a grin, “—people have been telling me that something like you is impossible since grade school.” Like hell was carbon the only building block for life! This was something entirely different.

“I have questions of my own, Tony Stark,” the being said. “I am Optimus Prime.”

“JARVIS,” Tony said, not taking his eyes off Optimus Prime, “cancel all my meetings. Indefinitely.”