#i'm literally shaking and crying rn who let this happen

[marshmellowtea]

i literally cannot overstate how much it shook me in world tour when sierra said chris was born in 1978 which means he was probably around 29/30 in the original series. i thought he was in his 40s this whole time but no he doesn't reach his mid 40s until the reboot......i feel sick this is just WRONG

[spaceratprodigy]

NEW WYCB UPDATE JUST DROPPED!! GO READ MY FRIEND'S FIC RN I LOVE HER SM!

Also? Have you read the previous chapter? 🤨 Maybe you should. Maybe there's even some art at the end of it made by yours truly.

Summaries:

Cats poetry night, swing dancing, home-brewed beer. What could go wrong?

clears my throat and smiles innocently

surprise!!! two new chapters!!!!!!!!!!! deacon and charmer hang out with the atom cats a whole bunch and then... uh... some other stuff happens too :) pls make sure to read the notes at the end of 25/the beginning of 26 as they r important!!!!

im not returning to weekly posting yet just because ~life~ and i want to be able to devote the time and effort to this fic that it deserves bc i love it very much, but again, they'll be back!! but exactly where they go from here......... well, who's to say

as always, the link above will take u to the most recent chapter (25) and this one will take you to the beginning :3 enjoy!!!

[polaris-stuff]

Hello hello!!! Me and a friend were discussing ships recently and I wanted to know if you had feelings about Bloodmoon/Bloodmoon? Or any similar ships in TSAMS? I adore bloodmoon/bloodmoon, but also Lunar/Lunara and Eclipse/Solar!

Anon, i just want to let you know i'm shaking ur and ur friend mind rn /pos

I LOVE THIS SHIPS AJDLAJS

BM x BM? Two halves of a whole, each other's world, are all they need to be happy, the two of them against the world. UUGH LIKE, THEY WERE SO CUTE SOBS ಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ I really thought for a long time that there would be more content of them considering the adorable way they called each other on the show but I was very surprised when I didn't find anything 😭

Man, Lunar x Lunara would be so fucking cool. Lunar literally just wanted to be happy and consequently ended up with everything he saw as a potential threat (adding that Lunara was very childish when he got the star so anyone who contradicted him would automatically receive the "you make me unhappy" treatment.) BUT TALKING ABOUT THE SHIP AGAIN-- Lunar being proof for Lunara that in other universes he can be happy and have the family he always wanted, I feel like Lunara would cry a little, just a little, hugging Lunar as if his life depended on it and following him around to see how Lunar lives. I'm 100% sure Lunara would also be like:

Lunara: you have this power (star power) and yet you're still here? You could have done everything yours and you didn't, why?

Lunar: Because everything I need is here

And then Lunar points to the daycare and his family and that makes Lunara's heart tighten a little, choking back a sob in his throat as his hands clench into fists. Lunara could have had all that and he destroyed it and now he is living the consequences after living years in the madness of the star, but its okay, Lunar is there for him.

🥺��💕💕💕

AND GOD, Eclipse/Solar es tan JSLFOAK two cat fighting each other. They are both eclipses, they are both assholes, they will definitely use their claws on each other and then hug each other like nothing happened. Eclipse being a total tsundere saying how much he hates Solar while hugging him and playing with his rays LOL

TYSM for the ask!!!💕💕💕

[lover-of-mine]

Anna! Hi! Hello!

I literally just joined tumblr today to be able to anon ask you. I think I should be the anxiety anon (aa is for sure in honor of Capt. Dad Bobby Nash and not in bad taste) because even typing this makes me feel way too seen. Does this count as human interaction? Guys, is it gay social anxiety if you only have inside thoughts because the idea of having outside thoughts makes you unwell? I'm not shaking--no, check--I am totally shaking rn, which is making it hard to type. But, I feel like I have reached critical mass on my Buddie thoughts and I will explode if I can't share them.

It is probably very rude to bust through the wall of your house like the Kool-Aid Man, so I want to say that I love your voice--your characterization and dialogue, particularly how you use humor in your fics is just *chef's kiss* for me. I have read them all but can't anon comment. I love your color theory and costume meta, too. Your takes are so measured and thoughtful and honestly just logical in a time where 9-1-1blr feels kinda sorta unmoored in reality. Fuck Twitter, your spy network tag is now my news feed because fandom reading comprehension and critical thinking scores have plummeted recently. Lou Who knows why?

Some things that are making me laugh/cry/cry-laugh rn:

The cockfighting ring call in Bobby Begins Again (2x16). Let's talk about closet space, bro: he-who-must-not-be-named canonically full-body flinched at literal cock coming at him. Somehow this is his gayest canon moment to me even though he has 2 canon full-on face assault man-on-man kisses.

The bridge call finale in Season 6, which I haven't watched in a minute, so I welcome fact-checking. I can't recall if it happens at the end of Love Is in the Air (6x17) as a cliff-hanger or if it is in Pay It Forward (6x18) proper, but right before the truck hits the bridge and triggers the collapse, Bobby is on the medical call on the bridge and he verbally instructs "K*nnard" to do something. The extra, presumably 1 of the old man retired firefighters they use to fill-out the 118 ranks, is wearing the "K*nnard" turnouts that nobody needed since 2x16's very accurate "Fairwell T*mmy. The 217's Loss is Our Gain" cake. So, how's that for invisible string debunker costume meta. As of 6x18: K*nnard was literally just an unused turnout coat on a hook in the costume dept. "Who cares?!?" is the 118 and 9-1-1's motto, fr. Like, nobody remembers gaf that he's a pilot, too, in an episode where Lucy flies off in the air ambulance, never to be seen again. Is "becoming a pilot" 9-1-1's way of telling your kid the dog "went to the farm" when you really had it put down while they were at school?

My change.org petition is for Buck and Eddie to have OS and RG's tattoos. I know makeup has been covering them up for years, but it has been bothering me so much since the ABC switch. It's like they're using the same tone of cover-up for RG and OS and it reads so yellow-orange that I consider it color theory outlier. Like, real talk, what do yellow-orange arms mean for the data, Anna? Tattoo-having people are known to get more tattoos. This is normal. RG and OS have so many more tattoos now than in Season 2 that Season 7 and 8 Buck and Eddie look like they have skin conditions that stop at their watch-straps and somehow in Season 8 RG is getting forehead-only orange foundation? Listen, I consider myself fandom-standard unhinged, not completely deranged, but like the full body Ken-doll spray tan on OS in Masks (8x05) has pushed me over the edge.

My Ted Talk is titled "Hey, ABC: Buddie = Fiscal Responsibility" because, wtf, just stop paying superfluous guest actors to be love interests and let the 2 mains shack up like God T*m M*near intended. (I lowkey think that smart cookie JLH is a girlboss genius who tied herself to KC, yeah yeah because of chemistry, Madney forever, of course, but also as job security when she said that Chimney was what she wanted for Maddie.) Seriously, let's reallocate the bullshit love interest slush fund money and bring the kid home. I hardcore head canon that Ravi saw Gerrard from the buffet line at the medal ceremony and just noped the fuck out of there indefinitely.

I'm just gonna leave this all here and back away because I've maxed out on all the human/social interaction accepted fandom love language of hyperbolic ranting that I can partake in before I turn into a full-blown thunderstorm chihuahua.

Can someone please Uber me a clown car home?

My love, hi. This was so fucking great to read ksoskaoakoakaoaa I'm literally on the floor laughing. Thank you for the compliments on the fics and metas. When someone says they like my characterization, I ascend to a better plane of existence. Honestly, the cock fight calls is really something else kspskapakoaa and they just didn't bother checking if they had written someone off before using the turnout because they needed more people there I guess.

The tattoos one had me howling tho, the cover-up of Ryan's hand tattoo this season has been AWFUL and the fact that they just wax Oliver all over to cover him in orange foundation drives me nuts, like please, just let them have the tattoos. (I was actually informed that they would need to license the tattoo from the artist for every use of it depending on the tattoos they decide to keep and that's probably why don't let them keep them, but if we are not letting them keep them, please color match better).

Honestly, they just need to get together already, please end this madness, it's been long enough, let Ryan be paid to make out with Oliver like he's been wanting all along kspskspakaokapa

Anyway, I'm obsessed with you, thank you for this one 🫶🫶

[hantenguswife]

Random rant/vent(?)

EVERYBODY STOP. I'M GOING CRAZY RN. I was just scrolling on twitter since I was looking for an artist to follow and saw that ufotable wanted to bless me with a new official art of hantengu??? HE LOOKS SO ADORABLE💗💗💋 It's the way his hiding from the sun under a little cave is so cute!! And doing his shaking and pathetic pose💗 I'm actually so happy that he's getting official art since that just means more rants, more pictures to put on my wall, and more reasons to draw and not get bored of him >_<!! (I'm never getting bored of him🔥) Official art hantengu literally gives me reason to stay alive. I'm not joking, (I think) it's very unhealthy but all my coping methods are unhealthy soo this one isn't as bad as the others. Hantengu official art >>> my drinking/sh problem. I love my man💋 I'm going to kiss that stupid ass bump on his head and give it a big squeeze. Also poking it for fun!! Not a very long rant but just wanted to rant a little since my hubby doesn't get that much art which is sad because I need it.

(This part of the rant is going to be little weird but ranting about my favourite character while venting is fun😋😋‼️)

Hantengu being my favourite character isn't really healthy for me. Idk why but almost every time I think about the bad things that have happened to me and when I'm crying about it, I will make my brain think that hantengu is comforting me. Oh, my ex cheated on me? While hantengu would do the same but I wouldn't be angry at him. I will let him continue cuz even though he cheated on me, he still loves me since he hasn't broken up with me!!

I may have been sa by a random guy and I can still feel his hands on my breasts but that's okay!! I'm just going to think and imagine that hantengu hands on my breasts which will make me forget about the guy and I won't feel disgusted since hantengu would never sa me!!

I hate my body and I wanna cut myself since I'm disappoint and a disgusting human being? Well hantengu would tell me that I am a disgusting human and I would believe him but I would still love him. He tells me continue to cut myself? I'm going to continue. Heck, I think he will even tell me to show my wrist as he sprinkle some salt on it😭

I need help but honestly, I don't want help. I will just feel like I'm going to exhaust anybody who tries to help me. Just let me fuck myself up🌚

[caliburn-the-sword]

since i've been gone:

watched atla live action. hate the tell don't show writing style. got mad every time i saw ian ousley on screen. suki and jet ate that up tho i'm literally SO pan. zuko's flashbacks made me cry. him leading the division that he saved in finding the avatar is a nice touch. love how secret tunnel and two lovers/omashu is gay now

am starting a jade fire gold by june cl tan reread because holy fuck i'm in zutara feels rn

read if you could see the sun by ann liang. made me cry shake throw up. obsessed with her writing and need her book to hurry up and appear in aus

read the first shatter me book since i enjoyed the first 6 chapters on google. BIG mistake. how did simultaneously nothing happen in that book while everything happen at the same time?? why do people hate adam and love warner??? why is every man on the planet obsessed with juliette??? however the last two chapters gave xmen vibes so unfortunately i will be reading the rest of the series at some point in time

i became OBSESSED with the maleficent movies for an entire fortnight. so much so i thrifted a grunge fairycore skirt with NOTHING to style it with. can't wait for maleficent 3!!!!

follow up to maleficent, i ended up rewatching all of descendants. all i'm gonna say is mal did nothing wrong. ben is insanely mid. i think that evie's backstory is a lot darker than let on by the disney channel rating but i'll make a separate post about my headcanons for her. saw the teaser for the 4th movie. rip to cameron

i watched the marvels FINALLY. i ADORED kamala as always even with all the shitty writing changes to her backstory, iman slays as always. i screamed cried and threw up when i saw the og beast from xmen and professor x mention!!! seeing carol from the kree's perspective was also actually REALLY interesting. the family angst between monica and carol also made me emotional. seeing kamala become disillusioned with her hero was also very civil war 2 coded and i'd LOVE to see that fleshed out more. i'm interested to see whether kamala is trying to form the young avengers (which she was never a member of and predates her by 10 years), champions or secret warriors (both of which kate was never a member of if i remember correctly)

because of xmen crumbs i unfortunately rewatched about half of the gifted s1 for those feels

i now know 4 programming languages and am living out my own little cress darnel life

watched a few episodes of love between fairy and demon, thought i didn't like cdramas, gave an episode of who rules the world and actually?? i might be into it. i'll see in a few episodes time (IF i have time)

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 30 ramble

WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK WE'RE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING BACK

i was relistening today to get in the spirit but i only got through episode 15 :( it's ok though 16-29 were more recent

anyway i'm like hardcore tweaking because i need this so bad but i'm also so not ready for this HIATUS?? it's both over and we're so back

i'm like kind of nervous.... LMAOOO????? anyway um here's hoping my blog @is-teddy-vaughn-still-alive doesn't immediately have to start saying he's dead for the rest of time i've had it for like 3 days

this is going to alter me as a person.

TWEAKINGGG here we go :]!!

the magnus protocol intro goes really hard i think i've said this before though

he said job but i heard jon. dead end JON like the season 2 finale of the magnus archives

OH IMMEDIATE SAM POV LET'S GO I GUESS. sam stop ignoring her.

WHY DID MY EX JUST TEXT ME. WHY DID MY EX GIRLFRIEND JUST TEXT ME. I THOUGHT I BLOCKED HER NUMBER?? HANG ON I HAVE TO PAUSE AND TELL MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS AND THEN GO BLOCK HER NUMBER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. dude.

oh my god i have to respond to this because i have class with her tomorrow are you fucking serious chat are you fucking serious

i don't even.. i can't even.. what the hell. during my magnus time? really? on THE magnus day? fuck oh my god. i.. i..... I'M SCARED??????

we're not touching that. anyway ummmmmm what the HELL ??? LMAO SORRY WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE PROTOCOL RAMBLE NOW???? we literally haven't spoken since like march when she sent me the "breakup closure playlist" and i thought i BLOCKED HER. tweaking OUTTTTTTTT.

having to restart the episode after this one i'm.. i need a reset..

sam she's not upset she's telling you you're in TROUBLE stop GHOSTING HER you are in DANGER babe. SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS RIGHT SHE IS RIGHT SHE IS RIGHT BABE YESSSSSS!!!! connect those dots honey it is your fault

SAM? SAM? SAM? WHAT'S? WHY IS HE COUGHING? I'M REALLY. WORRIED. I'M REALLY SCARED.

if sam dies here i'm gonna have to delete those sam hating posts i swear to god i'm gonna have to delete them i love him now

"there's a plan?" (disregards) woah. celia. what. i'm really really really scared help

i feel like we're listening to his final moments and i'm no................ "we're safe here" CELIA??????

ALICE PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW THEM PLEASE BABE IT'S OVER FOR SAM BUT IT'S NOT ENTIRELY OVER FOR YOU

COLIN? COLIN???????? COOLLOLININNK??????????? I'M CRYING COLIN HONEY PLEASE DI NOT DIE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WHAT DID HE DO WHAT DID HE DO WHAT DID HE DO WHAT DID HE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GO TO THE OFFICE ALICE. HE'S DEAD TEDDY'S DEAD ALICE YOU NEED TO STOP IGNORING THEM FOR SAM'S SAKE THEY'RE BOTH DEAD AS HELLLLLLLL

gwen come through and be okay pls. gwen pls. TREVOR HERBERT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME CACKLE I'M SORRY.

lena do you still have your job? babygirl? oh god. something bad is gonna happen to her. is there a lena death count lmao

"but i think you will be" LENA???? shaking actually hello. goodbye lena???? YOU'RE ALL GOING TO NEED IT WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???????????????????? gwenny are you laughing or crying or nope you're laughing. you are laughing.

they're at hilltop center oh my fuckign god they're here nervously petting my desk??? what am i doing.

"checking for tape recorders" LORD.

"call it a hunch" loooooooooooooooord.

hey why's sam humming he's being so fucking weird rn???? he's being so weird????????? so is celia actually i really hate this

"we want your teeth" these are all weird places huh. interestinggggg.

celia you gotta stop pushing sam please pleeasasee

i'm so freake WHO IS THAT WHOOO????? LMAO??????? poor dude

"i better go lock it back up before it's..." ooh supernatural worker

LMAOO IT'S SO HAUNTED PLS GET OUTTTTTTT PLSSSSS GET OUTTTTTTT

you SHOULD go sam and celia you SHOULD

she's being super weird is she like actually a shitty person bc i was kinda defending her with my whole being

"if you're stupid enough to go poking around, that's on you" this guy would love alice

oh speak of the devil hi babe!!!!

NO HESTITATION AFTER THE BRIBE LMAOO

I ACTUALLY HEARD THE TAPE RECORDER THIS TIME I'M SO PROUD.

oh the custodian is gonna die that sucks so much because i actually really like him he's coughing like sam was i'm really worried

oooh that was the clearest thing we've heard the archivist say

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES MUSIC I'M GOING TO START CRYING SO LOUD I CAN'T EVEN ANYMORE

OH WHY WOULD YOU BRING UP THE FINGERNAIL THING I LOST A FINGERNAIL FROM THE ROOT YESTERDAY.

dogs.. like lady mowbray...

NIKOLA ORSINOV????????????????????????? NIKOLA??????????????????? BABE?????????????????????????????

no it was a person unfortunately

DEAD IN HIS OFFICE???? oh what the actual fuck

okay they're really not subtle about the magnus archives theme anymore LMFAO

oh my god he's dying :( i really liked him he seemed so chill

WHAT??????????????????? DID HE JUST BECOME THE BUILDING????????????????????????????????????????????? DUDE COME ON CAN ONE MINOR SIDE CHARACTER JUST BE OKAY AND HAPPY. rip i guess? rest in piece (singular)

"she can wait" you're pissing me off.

celia knows this too damn well she knows it TOO well. did she ever have to dig herself out of this

IS THIS THE RIP??????

celia? celia is this where you came from. "almost" HUH?

WHAT'S HAPPENING WHAT'S HAPPENING??? SAM YOU'RE KINDA REAL FOR THIS ACTUALLY PLEASE EXPLAIN TO HIM PLEASE

if he dies. i'm gonna be so upset.

WOAH. WOAHHHHHHHH. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THE INSTITUTE ALCHEMY IT'S ALL ABOUT BALANCE IT WANTS HER BACK IT. WHAHTUAHAHDHAHGAGDGASYFGAFYGTASGTGFGJS

the equation doesn't balance so you have to go back? oh that's why she wakes up randomly because it's pulling her!! "there's nothing to go back to" sad face. lynne hammond did have a................................ celia. ceeeeeeelia.

celia don't fucking do it don't fucking do it don't fucking do it.

"I REALLY DID LIKE YOU" I'M HYPERVENTILATING. SHE'S CARRYING A KNIFE. I'M HYPERVENTILATING.

I'M CRYING. WHAT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED. WHAT IS FUCKING HAPPENING. WHAT IS FUCKING HAPPENING. IS THIS CELIA'S STATEMENT???

THE FEARLESS ONE I'M ACTUALLY WEEPING??????

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT SAM ARE YOU OKAY. ALCIUEJ NAOLIKJDHFJVDFHIJBHABHIFBJGHF

I'M SO UNOKAY I'M SOOOOO ALICE NO PLEASE BABYDOLL PLEASE YOU'RE SO FUCKED YOU'RE SO FUCKED

NOT THE FUCKING HILLTOP DUDE GOD DAMMIT

shaking trembling violently rocking back and forth i'm scared i'm scared i'm scared

gwenny.... hhhhhh

oh hey it's trevor! can we pls go find out what just happened to sam i need him to be alright.

what is that fuckass no HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO OH MY GOD ALICE IS THERE AND CELIA AND SAM OHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD. OOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD. WHERE'S SAM.

he's not.. is he? oh no.

THEY BOOOOOOOOOOTH FELL THROUGH???????? AND YOU'RE ENDING THE FUCKING EPISODE THERE DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME ANYMORE YOOUUUUUUUUUUU. YOU. OH MY FUCK.

i need to go take a moment to reflect or something holy fucking shit.

[causenessus]

HI HI HI HI NESS IM BACKKFJFKSMSOS so first of all tumblr hates me why is that the FOURTH ask of mine u answered that i wasnt notified of should i just die

anyways im eating lunch rn

healthy girl era did not work out i took a 6 hour (?) nap yesterday so!!

trying again today

N E WAYS

today the teacher told us her old students were too non che lent (nonchalant!!) so they failed the exam (wat.)

and my friend wanted to laugh about it w me but i wasnt looking so she yeeted my OTHER friends eraser at me

but it

it hit (near?) the teacher..

she was sooo mad omfg

giggling i hate her

like basically i answer all her questions out of spite now like YEAH BRO I KNOW THIS ALR😕😕

Also i swear i dif this math problem right but the teacher said it was wrong (wat.) and my friend did it too and we got the same answer (wat.)

i wrote fanfiction at school ☝️😎 it has already been digitalised but like i DID write it

and tjen my friend read an original short story (? 1.2k words) i wrote which was basically me projecting and she almost cried so like Uh

slay???

dude i love talking so much u have no idea actually

ALSO THE THING ABOUT THE ENRGY LIKe I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMG SO I GET EXCITED YK

n e ways..

i was watching american psycho last night but i got distracted..😭 ALSO IM SO EXCITED ABT ONICS LIKE EUSHEPSHAPSJXOSKAJDKAAKKDKD

>tries 2 normal

>fails

OK SO!! HRU AND WHATS GOING ON IN UR LIFE AND IF U EVER NEED TO HIRE A HITMAN IM HERE FOR U ❤️‍🩹 as the hitman btw ❤️‍🩹

U SHOULD NOT DIE!!! TUMBLR SHOULD DIE HOW DARE THEY!!! i am so confused at like what is happening at tumblr hq 😭😭 like there are problems that need to be solved!!!! and i feel like they should be pretty simple to fix!!! but instead they're like "NO LET'S MAKE TAGGING USERS GO BLUE AND COMMENTS UGLY"

but anyway!! i hope your lunch was good!! AND A SIX HOUR NAP SOUNDS AMAZING AND JUST AS PRODUCTIVE AS WORKING OUT!! it's hard to balance everything so definitely don't stress too much about it!! you have your whole life ahead of you to like do something like working out so not doing it one day is totally okay!! (yk?? i hope that made sense and i'm sorry i hope it's okay to say that 😭)

??? nonchalant -> failing exam???? i do not see the correlation??? 😭 YOUR TEACHER IS VV SPECIAL!! IS THIS THE ONE THAT TEACHES ENGLISH BUT ISN'T....ACTUALLY....THAT GREAT....AT ENGLISH??? 😭 OR MAYBE IT'S UR MATH TEACHER BC U ALSO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THE ERASER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEACHER IS CRAZY I WOULD'VE DIED ON THE SPOT 😭😭

also math teachers love to like??? tell u ur wrong and then not explain how to correctly do something??? so i think u should just blame them for everything!! that sounds fair <3

I'VE ALSO WRITTEN FANFICTION AT SCHOOL LMAOOO i remember being on my computer during french class and my guy was just so boring i pulled out the doc and started writing but LUCKILY it was like an oc fic so it wasn't as scary to write as a x reader UNLIKE WHEN I WAS MAKING TONIC PFPS AND MY DOCUMENT WAS LITERALLY CALLED LIKE yn & atsumu and for some reason all of my friends wanted to COME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND HUG ME!! OR LOOK AT MY SCREEN!! and i was just 😃😃😃 but i have no shame so oh well

THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY SOUNDS GOOD!! ESP IF IT ALMOST MADE YOUR FRIEND CRY?? 😭 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT THOUGH <3 AND I LOVE HEARING YOU TALK!! PLEASE TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT I WILL READ EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME <33

I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR TONICS!! I AM TOO <333 I'M SLOWLY PLANNING IT OUT LIKE ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME AND I'M LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG OMG OMG <33

THANK U LINA!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO BE MY HITMAN <33 I MAY NEED ONE JUST TO GET THRU SCHOOL BC MY HALLS FR ARE SCARY SOMETIMES YK?? like too many scary girls who look me up and down in their little crop tops and shorts and nike air forces and are like "why are u wearing pants in the summer" BC I CAN?? AND I DON'T LIKE SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN THANK U?? (sorry this probably makes no sense i think my brain has short circuited today </33) BUT I'M DOING ALR!!! i'm stressed about my theatre duties starting up very very soon 😭😭 but i'll let u know how that goes once they start!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TODAY!!! AND EAT SOMETHING GOOD <33

[glam-hutchence]

This jsnt the post you want to read but.. tonight was not good :(

I have currently been awake for 37 hours (minus a barely half an hour sleep before I had to get up)

The queueing was fine, I made some friends and we played many games of uno, and they were so nice and caring (suggesting I put sunscreen on bc I'm so pale but I thought I'd be fine. I wasn't. At all. 😭😭 I am very burnt on arms/legs/NOSE 😭) I Forgot to put it on this morning big sad

Waiting to be let into the venue was fine, getting to the barrier was fine

Jimmy eat World were great again, got excited for the middle bc it's the only one I know, and another one it sounded like I knew it but idk the name rn

I was having a good time with the ppl around me while we waited, we joked and played 20 questions but guessing an animal

MCR came on. So excited, so ready for night 2. But hard to see but I was managing during foundations.

Sigh.

But as soon as na na na started, ppl went fucking feral. Like full on purposely pushing and shoving to the point where no one could move or even fucking breathe properly. It was so dangerous we couldn't keep both feet on the ground firmly.

I couldn't even focus on the music, I just was trapped in between ppl and couldn't move. This vile person behind me said "I'll make my way to the front and I'll take you with me" so she was basically thrusting and pushing hard and it was so horrible. I didn't want to get out bc I didn't want her to get to my place, but I couldn't take.it anymore. I lasted maybe twenty minutes to half an hour at best and I just had to fucking get out of there.

There was this kind and sweet soul who asked if I was okay before I left and when I had enough I tapped her shoulder and pointed out and she got securitys attention. It was hard to get out, I couldn't even turn around for them to grab me :( and the same girl literally grabbed my leg to help lift me up bc I just couldn't jump. I know it's their job but the security leading me to the chill out area, and the lady there were so nice. When she asked if I was okay I just couldn't stop crying. Tears had come out in the pit and when I was getting out bc it was just too much. I was all hot and shaking and she kept giving me water and offer first aid stuff if i wanted them to come.

I know how pits are. I know they can get rough and ppl get pushed around. But not like this. Even the ppl in the discord group said so many ppl were dangerous and horrible and that tonight was rougher than last night.

I stayed in that area for twenty minutes and I missed four songs. I was so upset and cried half bc of what happened and half bc of missing out. When I did leave the room, she gave me double the amount of water in the cup and I went to the back of the pit. I think the Panadol I had helped calm me down (she had also offered me some)

I was so sad bc I was barely meters away from my favourite band, to being on the other side. I couldn't focus properly on the songs after that. There was half an hour left and I tried taking photos. I just wasn't into it like I wanted to be, like yesterday:( I rmr Helena and the kids from yesterday most properly if I have to be honest. I can't rmr much at all which is so fucking disappointing. This would have been the only show I would have gone to if I didn't get a seat for last night. Fucking lucky I did bc that was the best night I could have asked for. I'm just sad. Tonight didn't go as I hoped it would and I deserved so much better. :( </3

Also, side note: this is the third time I've smelt weed. First was rhcp night 1, and once during the lining up today and again in the pit. And for me, it smells bloody awful. I don't ever want to try it at all. (fucking disclaimer bc idc if you love it and have it all the time and that it helps you. It's very clear that it is not for me based on this).

After it ended as I was walking to the car I saw a doughnut truck and got six chocolate sprinkle ones and it was so yummy and slightly made me feel better.

When I told the discord frens what happened they were so nice and supportive and understood bc they experienced the horrible-ness as well. I tried to stand my ground but it was too much for me. 8ve never had to leave general admission before, I feel like I failed myself, even tho I literally did the right thing to protect myself. I did notice a small cut on my forehead. So that's all you need to know.

When I got home, I ate (got some maccas on the way) and then I had a quick shower to wash away those bad vibes. Now I'm going to go the fuck to sleep

[doyouknowwhoyouare13]

Nyx reads It's Not Summer Without You

Ok you guys so when I read the first book I read it in a day so that's what I'm gonna TRY to do however, if I don't finish it there might be spaces in between where I sum up everything I read while at school, just a heads up!!

Anyways here's the obligatory warning, DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS!!! It's just for fun but it might get annoying, I promise it won't hurt my feelings 💀

and of course

SPOILER WARNING!!!!

ok before I actually start

I gotta come clean

AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

I am a jeremiah girl

I have been don't even start he's the cutest shut up

anyways

Conrad isn't bad I'm just saying I like Jeremiah better

AND I did hear conrad ain't good in this book so I mean

ok actually chapter one now

so I read the first book last year

so I have no idea what's going on

but I'll figure it out

OK THAT WAS KINDA CUTE

oh right that happened.

omg I know someone named Cory

he'd do the same thing!!!!

this is literally the first chapter wtf

I'm about to cry

chapter 2

omg he called!!!

jeremiah still better

I gotta admit they're cute though

and steven slays per usual

chapter 3!!!

oh I hate Taylor I'm sorry

so annoying ngl

poor Laurel :(

cory seems nice though!!

istg if taylor don't

OMG IT HURTS STOP

chapter 4!!

JEREMIAH???

WAIT WERE THERE POVS IN THE OTHER BOOK?

HOLD ON

GOING TO CHECK

THERE ISN'T

WHAT IS THIS

who cares it's my fav!!!

oh that's sad.

NOO NOOO NOOOOO

HOW COULD YOU??

I'M CRYING NOW TOO

anyways

after I chilled out a bit

chapter 5

stop.

I just stopped crying.

stop it.

ok there the tears go again

you guys, we're only on page 31, chill.

STOP. IT.

"And I've been praying, I never did before"

esny has been in my head this whole chapter it's devastating

NOT BOTH OF THEIR DADS

FUCK THAT SHIT

bro. not mtr rn. I'm already crying.

stop it.

CONRAD???

BELLY. NO WAY.

holy shit that was a fucking rollercoaster I'm still crying omg

alright let's keep going!!!! chapter 6

GONE??

this is actually so sad

I came here for cute summer vibes

not sobbing less than 50 pages in

chapter 7

istfg

i hate this girl

she makes ME crazy istg i actually

UGHH

ok cinderbelly is really cute though

chapter 8

uh oh another pov

BUT JEREMIAH!!!

oh we're going back

good cause then I won't cry

they're so taylor swift coded

oh shit ok I lied

I'm gonna cry wtf

it's ok jeremiah I'll love you for her!!!

I feel bad for him tho ngl

chapter 9

this is so sad wtf

help me please

THE LAST LINE??? I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN BRO

chapter 10

istfg taylor swift is out to get me

fucking

fucking yoyok??

I'm gonna cry

wonder how many times I've said that

bro I'm already almost out of sad tabs what

ok so I read like a lot at school and when I say a lot I mean A LOT like I'm now on chapter 29!!!

anyways still love jere, hate mr. fisher, feel bad for conrad, wonder why her dad and mom broke up but that was prob in the first book

ok we're starting mid 29 (and adding 30)

I'll kiss him for her!!!

also when did they start calling her bells

I mean it's cute but where'd it come from

you're right. you don't have a right 😭

weren't you JUST upset about Conrad?

yeah he doesn't love her cause he loves ME

I'm delusional just go with it!!

NAH NOT ANGIE 💀

how do I remember her but like not half the other stuff help

omg taylor again

I'm sorry I despise her

both of them are driving me insane rn 💀

chapter 31

DECOMPOSING ROSES 💀

reminds me of andrew's spidey "Let's just get out of here" while shaking his head

I love that scene

he's so cute

but anyways back to the book

bro connie getting on my nerves

FORGIVENESS

CAN YOU IMAGINE

oh belly I'm gonna cry

JERE!!!

oooh someone jelly

jelly over belly

LMAO

PROVING MY POINT

JERE>>>

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

IS THERE SOMETHING I'M LIKE MISSING OR WHAT

chapter 33

SHIT I FORGOT HER NAME WAS ISABEL

BELLY.

OMG WHAT

and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad

I have a lot of regrets about that

WOOHOO WE GOT HER!!!

JEREMIAH!!!

chapter 34

ew yellow popsicles

jelly at age 13 bro

AWW HE DID GET SICK BUT BELLS HUNG OUT WITH HIM

chapter 35

STILL JERE!!!

I feel like this is the first time I remember him speaking badly of his dad

I love him sm you have no idea

chapter 36

bro

connie gotta think before he speaks stg 🙄

he likes his bacon like my dad does!!

I like my dad a lot better than mr. fisher though

GO LAUREL!!!

FUCK MR FISHER

um girl

that's your daughter

why are you like

yknow what who cares

chapter 37

JERE!!!!

why is she

ok I got a bone to pick

1

why is she a better parent to the boys than belly

2

WHERE TF IS STEVEN?

oh this is so sad :(

chapter 38

I am officially out of sad tabs

BUT NO WORRIES

FOR I HAVE ANOTHER PACK!!

look at her being a genius

come back...be here!!!

so taylor coded

I'm adding chapter 39 here too

too lazy to add a divider 💀

omg girl shut up about connie jeremiah is right there

I'm calling him connie cause it's funny and I know he would hate it

like matty boy

Chapter 40!!!

OMG BELLY FLOP!!!! WOOHOO

there's my cute summer book

I missed you

SEE JERE IS RIGHT THERE GIRL

slurpees!!

Oh NOW he remembers stuff 🙄

chapter 41

oh jere don't do this to me

scripting out her death cause I can't deal no way

BRO I'M GONNA-

omg good job connie!!

SEE HE REMEMBERS

JERE IS BETTER

COME ON BELLS HOW CAN YOU BE SO PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS

YES

YESSS

THERE YOU GO JERE THERE YOU GO

WOOHOO!!!!

wish that was me though ✊😔

YESSSSS!!

uh oh connie is back

ngl I'd be mad pissed

CONRAD

I KNOW YOU MAD AND I WOULD BE TOO BUT DAMN

my words shoot to kill when I'm mad!!!

chapter 42

oh my god

bro

you guys gotta talk this shit out ngl

ohhh not steven don't do that to me

CONNIE BRO

bro istfg if you go back to connie I'm gonna cry again

43

this is driving me insane ngl

BELLYYY

NOOO THE END??? WTF YOU MEAN A COUPLE YEARS LATER???

excuse me is she leaving a wedding?

um

bro how am I supposed to wait a year

I'm gonna cry

[ennabear]

OH OKAY SO I’M GONNA CRY. SO THATS WHATS GOING ON. AAAAAAAHSHBSWBEHHS I CANT BELIEVE ITS HEREEEEEE!!! BODYGUARD ABBY IM GONNA EAT YOU WHOLE BABYGIRL!!!!! this fic just received a 60 minute standing ovation from ME. can you believe it guys??? the power of ray strikes again (thank god, this fandom would be NOTHING without you)

"God, forbid your hair be in ruin, sweet girl." Abby's wet lips look inviting, especially when she's smirking at you. Delectable, enticing, desired seeping underneath your soul as you try your best to keep them at bay.

"Now that would be positively tragic, wouldn't it? Just a paparazzi's wet dream. Need my hair in ruins for them to get a handsome payday." Abby shakes her head, the budding smile threatening to reveal itself. You can see how it grows, despite the effort she makes to disguise it.

"I think you do enjoy my company. Paid or not, I bring some light into your life." You play with the ends of her hair. The blonde feels a tingle pricking at her skin. She ignores it.

"I can see that smile."

abby anderson call me sweet girl challenge ready set go!!!! hahahah pleaseeee i’d enjoy her company so much!! i’m smiling so hard rn omg… the way you write her is so fucking CUUUUTEEE. she brings all of the light into my life i swear to god… and so do you, raybear, with these absolute lethal masterpieces that you craft for us 🖤🖤 thanks a billion for this mwah mwah mwah i’m gonna smooch you sooooooo hard it breaks my lips

It's these little things Abby remembers, constantly getting her in trouble.

When paparazzi are around, you always accept her hand as she guides you through the swarming crowd. Abby knows you despise it. How inhumane it makes you feel. You feel like an attraction, an object the masses had come to see rather than being viewed as an actual person. In these moments, you cling onto Abby the most. While she's intimidating to all, there leaves a small exception for you, never has she once been anything to you more than just a sweet, gentle giant she wants close to her at all times.

GENTLE GIANT GENTLE GIANT GENTLE GIANT!!!!!!! so unbelievably true… i need her so bad… ngl i would HATE being an actress and you capture this anxiety and overstimulation so well, but would i do it just to have abby as my bodyguard??? well… i’m not saying no…. please i need her to be my bodyguard every day when i get anxious about other strangers walking on the same sidewalk as me….. i need to grab onto her big warm hands…….. mmmmmmh 🍽️

remember when i said some fics deserve to be made into movies??? yeah. yeahhhhhhh HEAVY on this one. (me saying “remember when” as if it wasn’t literally last night 🤦) but SERIOUSLY this is so perfect i can SEE IT PLAY OUT IN MY PEA SIZED BRAIN!!!!!! i’ll never EVER stop singing your praises rayray…. and if you and emi ever wanna cook up a real script… heh… let’s just say…. remiplutenna world domination……

"Please tell me this is the woman I ran into earlier or else I'm going to be even more embarrassed for answering a stranger's phone."

"Well you're in luck."

"Oh thank fuck—" You curse yourself before being so vulgar with someone who you didn't even know. "Sorry! God, this is all my fault. I must have swapped our phones when I picked them up and didn't even realize."

AWWWW THIS IS SO SMART OH EM GEEEE. ACCIDENTALLY SWAPPING PHONES???? AAAAAAAA THATS ADORABLE 😭 abby being in such a rush and a cranky mood that she doesn’t even notice….. real… but i’m swooning i need this to happen to me and her ASAP although my loser ass wouldn’t know how to handle it 🤦 but lemme pretend in the magic of this fic that i would be so chill and cool for a sec 🙂‍↕️

There is a moment, a short one where your eyes go to her chest, the silver barbells constricting against the small fabric, clear as to what lies beneath.

Abby does smirk at that. She's only human.

well yes 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 and damn i’m only human too, lemme stare at this bitches nipples for a few minutes… i mean… uhhhh…. lemme suck on them???? or ummm wait….. i didn’t mean to say that haha. yeah sorry heh.

i’d let her guard my body any day…. actually, i’d let her do whatever the hell she wants to my body but that’s a conversation for another time.

"Did I do good? You always say you miss stargazing with your brother back home. I know it's not as quiet as the cabin you have, but I thought it would be okay for now."

"The view isn't bad, not one bit." She admits as she lets you rub her abdomen, the goosebumps crawling upon her skin the more Abby lets you touch her as if she's yours to hold. "Lev would like it. I'm convinced the kid likes you more than me now."

LEV MENTION OH SO IM REALLY BAWLING NOW. MY BABYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! i need to go stargazing with her NOWWWWW we’d have such a fun time, me and my nerd ass 🤓 but also i wanna hold her and hug her and kiss her… sigh, domestic abby i need you. rayray try not to make me sob challenge failed 😞

"Abs, look at me." She meets your eyes, away from the constellations in the sky, afraid if she looks for a moment too long she'll be stuck here forever. "Talk to me, m'right here, not going anywhere unless you want me to."

Instantly, Abby grips your hips, keeping you in your place.

"No, that's not-"

"What?"

"I'm not what you want. I'm surely not what anyone needs. Hell, l've only been with one woman which is deemed to be for not being enough, right? I'm the girl who came out too late, who doesn't have enough experience but because I'm built like some fucking adonis I need to know whatever the fuck I'm doing but I don't. I never know what l'm doing. The only thing I know how to do is protect you, that's all I'm good for and I'm not gonna screw that up just because-”

"Because what?" Your pelvis is on top of hers, your face coming closer to Abby's, watching as you are irrevocably close to her, closer than you've ever been, wet lips ghosting over her pouty pink lips. Abby doesn't even know when you moved, how you got so close, too lost in her own head to register your movements.

NOOOO ABIGAIL ANDERSON DONT SAY THATTTT MY HEART IS SHATTERING 😭 please my baby has too much anxiety… she just needs me to hold her and kiss her and protect her for once…. SHES WHAT I NEEDDDDDD i would gladly be scared and lost and confused by her side 🖤🖤🖤 my sweet sweet baby who i love so much…. who i wanna kiss….. among other things….

"It's not something I'm proud of and I never wanted you to see me differently but l'm not ashamed anymore though. I'm not that person anymore. I haven't been since I met you." Abby falls silent, her cheeks turning crimson before she can try to hide it "You not knowing how I was, it's just the humbling I needed. Not to mention you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen — you still are— but you had a girlfriend so I kept my feelings silent. Something just felt different with you and then you were single and I was afraid of you."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to ruin you so l made a promise to myself. I would never start anything with you, not unless I was in love with you."

"You love me?"

I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH, ABBYYYYYYYY 😭 GET THAT INTO YOUR THICK SKULL ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!!!! AND GOD RAYRAY PLEASEEEEE CAN I CATCH A BREAK FROM THIS SWEET FLUFF BEFORE MY ROOM FLOODS FROM ALL OF THESE GOD DAMN TEARS??????????? the way you write dialogue is sooooo cute and so incredibly realistic 😭 my poor babygirl is oblivious and she needs me to repair her heart (which i’d GLADLY do.)

Like honey to a bee, there's nothing that's ever been so sweet.

This is all you need.

"Abby?"

"Yeah, angel?"

"Let's get out of here."

DA PERFECT ENDINGGGGG YUPPPPP!!!! I NEED TO KITH HER NOWWWW!!!!!!! I NEED HER PRETTY SOFT LIPS ON MINEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! SUCH POETRY RAYBABY IM BEGGING ON MY KNEES FOR YOU TO WRITE A BOOK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEUHHHH!!!!

i love u so much sweetiebear rayray and i love everything you cook for us although sometimes it’s deadly (like right now, my heart can’t take this)… i’m actually biting my metaphorical tongue so hard rn (get it, cause i type with my fingers on here, and not my mouth??? hahahah) to keep myself from getting sappy cause i always do and then i feel like a fucking ding dong after 😭😭😭 but i am so proud of you and this banger nonetheless, and i’m adding this (along with the rest of your masterlist) to my list of amazing fics i need to re-read :33 mwah mwah MWAH!!!!!

≛ LONELY IS THE MUSE!

❝ ABBY!CENTRIC ONE SHOT ❞

feat. bodyguard!abby x famous actor!reader

warnings. eighteen+, suggestive nsfw content: reader fell first nd and abby fell harder, some angst, fluff, slightly coded fem reader, personal trainer!abby, just two idiots pining. i saw the discourse for some romance and i wanted to do my part. enjoy friends.

LONELY IS THE MUSE, entangled in an endless web of a high profile life, everyone waiting on you hand and foot, hollywood’s star in their prime — everyone needing a piece for themselves. yet the mysterious blonde who has not a clue to who you are catches the eye of the lonely muse.

wc. 8k

“You know you don’t have to stand this close to me.” Abby counters, but her words didn’t make you move an inch. Not that she really thought they would. Secretly, she enjoys your gentle touch. She likes how comfortable you feel around her. The downpour in New York has your arm entangled with her own, your hand gripping her bicep as she holds the umbrella.

“Maybe, but I don’t want to ruin my hair.” You replied gently, as you rested your head against her relaxed bicep.

“God, forbid your hair be in ruin, sweet girl.” Abby’s wet lips look inviting, especially when she’s smirking at you. Delectable, enticing, desired seeping underneath your soul as you try your best to keep them at bay. 

“Now that would be positively tragic, wouldn’t it? Just a paparazzi’s wet dream. Need my hair in ruins for them to get a handsome payday.” Abby shakes her head, the budding smile threatening to reveal itself. You can see how it grows, despite the effort she makes to disguise it. 

“I think you do enjoy my company. Paid or not, I bring some light into your life.” You play with the ends of her hair. The blonde feels a tingle pricking at her skin. She ignores it. 

“I can see that smile.” 

Better than anyone, Abby knows the gleam in your eyes is too dangerous to entertain, so she looks forward. It’s what she's paid to do, to keep you safe. Not to entertain some weird crush that will soon pass when you move on to the next actress, artist, or producer. She doesn’t need a reminder of how different your world is, she’s already abundantly clear on where the both of you stand. Worlds apart from each other, even if you’re leaning against her, the greedy hands of the public grab onto you first, mercilessly sucking the life out of anyone who enters your life. 

All it does is isolate you, making your life incredibly lonely. Trapped on the throne you built with your raw talent, but the industry is a double edged sword, as much as it appears to lift you up, it impales any sense of normalcy at a private, peaceful life. You take pride in these little moments you have with her. It’s the only time you get to have a taste of normalcy, even if you did have a bodyguard, which wasn’t entirely normal. Yet, Abby is a gentle reminder of a life she wishes to have. Someone who is kind, and loving; a soul that exists for no selfish gain, greed, or selfishness. 

Sometimes, you take advantage of it. 

Abby knows you crave physical affection. Ever since your messy break up, you’ve been finding any little excuse to justify it. Abby didn’t really mind at all. Even if she tried to deny it in her head, she’d miss it if you stopped. The incessant need you have to be close to her at all times, your essence bleeding on to her, suffocating her with everything she wants, but knows she can’t ever let herself dip into the deepest edges of you. 

Especially, not when you are still attempting to decode the wreckage of your last relationship. 

Abby hates seeing you like this, but she knew there was little she could do to help. All she could do is let you ride the wave of heartbreak, take in the silent tears hitting full cheeks, and hope it would all end soon for you. For now, she would allow immediate proximity.

You’re hurting. You need it.  

The first few weeks, even a couple months after, she expects it. Now it’s month four, and you were still touching her all the time. Lame excuses falling from your lips daily and Abby was sure you didn’t even believe them. She thought about bringing it up to you, establishing healthy boundaries before she crosses a line.

Yet, it feels…nice.

It felt good to be needed. The reason she had taken this job in the first place. It wasn’t what she had imagined for herself – a bodyguard of a famous musician. She jokes about it now, but it's a twisted fate for the two of you. Your eyes shine bright whenever someone asks, and you always take the lead.

Abby has always been more reserved, and your personality is as bright as the sun. She liked Abby the second she laid eyes on her. Not because she was beautiful or the most gorgeous human she’d ever seen.

Which she is.

No.

Her stupid pounding heart, the one she felt beating violently out of her chest, loves you, has no idea who she is.  She had thought possibly the blonde stranger was putting on a front, some did. They liked to conceal their intentions behind greedy eyes and malicious intent.

But Abby turned out to be different.

When a blossoming friendship turned into a job opportunity, it took Abby through a loop. It was the very last thing she was expecting from you. You’d kept her in the dark and when you announced exactly who you were, Abby really didn’t know. Never was she really a fan of social media, didn’t really partake in it unless someone was showing her the latest trend going around. She’s a little old fashioned but she likes it. It worked in her favor when it came to you. Unknowingly, for the first time since your fame struck as quick as lightning, you had the pleasure to befriend someone who had no idea who you were. 

As fresh as breathing your first breath of air, you took pride in the circumstance. Someone enjoying your company for who they are and not just for your social standing, fame, or most importantly the money. Before either of you could really even fully come to it, Abby has become such an influential person in your life, and then you were attempting to entice her with a job opportunity, and she accepted. 

You thought it would take longer and knew from the moment you had asked. But her life was uprooted by you, and she felt guilty about how much it fills her up with glee. 

In the last year, Abby became the only person worthy of your trust, the only one who would keep your confessions confined, not letting the secrets drip like cheap wine down the drain. Rather more as if she was out in the vineyard, carefully hand picking the grapes for the wine as she crafts it herself. Giving it the love, care, and attention it needs to flourish into fine beverage. From one sip alone, knowing she would crave for the taste. 

Getting to know you in ways some would dream of. Often, the mass of the public did, but you’re more selective who you let in your life now. Swiftly, you noticed how easily Abby listened. 

Listening and seeing you for who you are, not some strewed version the media made you out to be.  

She understood why you felt the need to and maybe why you felt comfortable with her. You spent time with her more than anyone. After two years together, she had learned every little detail about you. Where you liked to get your morning coffee, your favorite brunch spot, which bar you like to frequent when you had a night to give, which gym was your favorite, and to not speak with you until you’ve had said coffee. 

It’s these little things Abby remembers, constantly getting her in trouble.

When paparazzi are around, you always accept her hand as she guides you through the swarming crowd. Abby knows you despise it. How inhumane it makes you feel. You feel like an attraction, an object the masses had come to see rather than being viewed as an actual person. In these moments, you cling onto Abby the most. While she’s intimidating to all, there leaves a small exception for you, never has she once been anything to you more than just a sweet, gentle giant she wants close to her at all times. 

Her stature is standing a little over six feet tall. Her arms always looked too good against the tight fabric of her shirt. The one you grip onto as she is navigating through a crowd with you in tow, she’s always focused. The remainder of your team was behind you, while she was always in front of you.

At all times, protecting you.

But it was moments like today, you were grateful for. You blended with the hectic life of the city. You were just two people waiting at a crosswalk, waiting to get to your next destination.

Abby tries not to pay too much attention to how you’re squeezing her bicep, with a strong grip further indication you weren’t letting go anytime soon.

She supposes it’s better than feeling your hand in hers. There were times when Abby deemed it necessary. She would grab it whenever she needed to get you through from point a to point b, quickly. It made you follow her pace instead of lingering behind. She didn’t even know how she was supposed to feel with your head resting against her arm, your body so close to hers.

How was she supposed to act normally?

The rumors were already getting bad. You denied them when asked, and you did gracefully each time.

All Abby could think about if this moment was captured, it would be perceived as intimate. It felt like it was, but she didn’t want the entire world to see. Not when she felt the two of you walking this very nimble line of friends, something professional, and something more. She didn’t need thousands of eyes giving their two senses in a situation she didn’t even fully understand yet. All it took was one person to snap a photo if she gets too close to you. If her touch stayed on you for too long, or if she let the love reach her eyes. The ladder was the most difficult to control. It’s a part of her just as much as the air in her lungs.

This life is new to her. At times, Abby wondered if she’s biting off more than she could chew.

The only reason she’d left was for you. She had a small, quiet life. Abby’s life was very average, a cloud of normalcy hovered above her before the two of you met. A personal trainer full time and she resided in a cabin about half an hour from where she worked. She chopped wood to relieve stress, Her girlfriend liked it at the time, and she did too. She had her two dogs, and a darling kitten. 

She enjoyed the privacy. The isolated countryside her sweet family could reside in. Abby had built this life she was proud of, and it made her happy. For a time, it worked. She was genuinely content with where she was. There wasn’t a need to stress or control where her life was going. It felt like a huge relief. She tended to live inside her own head, not be present in what she has right in front her.

It had been months since she felt like that. It’d felt good and she was proud of herself for not succumbing from within and really coming to terms with what she had built around her. This was the most difficult route for her to take. To allow herself to be open, even if there was a chance of her falling.

Abby really should have felt remorseful for leaving it all behind.

Nora was sweet. The most caring partner she ever had, but there wasn’t much she could compare it to. Besides her, there had only been two, and she didn’t even count Owen. A long misstep until she landed where she needed to be. He did care for her, and he seemed to be more kind-hearted than most men, but the bar was set so low, he should’ve exceeded expectations.

And he did, in some areas.

Others, he fell more than flat but there was little to nothing he could do about it. Abby likes girls and he wasn’t one. Her sexuality shattered their relationship into a million pieces – leaving neither of them any option but to move on.

Nora felt real. This genuine connection she’d never experienced before. Abby knew it one year into their relationship. The pair had built this life together, one where she didn’t feel trapped in, and one Abby could be proud of. She felt acknowledged and loved Nora. There wasn’t a sliver of a doubt in her mind this where she needed to be.

She tells Nora when she needs space, and she isn’t ashamed of it. If she didn’t want to go out, Nora wouldn’t guilt trip her into it. Abby didn’t feel pressured to intertwine her identity with Nora just because they were together. Nora hardly ever gave Abby a reason to be upset. She showed up like partners were supposed to, even when Abby didn’t.

But it was a heavy weight to carry for Nora. Being her first serious queer relationship, Abby was left stunted in areas where Nora had to lend a helping hand. She never made Abby feel bad about it, but the two of them could feel the string keeping them threatening to snap.

Often, it frustrated Abby. To always be the one receiving help and never giving it. She didn't blame her partner, but she was left at a crossroad. 

She never understood Owen more and it really pissed her off.

To no fucking end.

But Nora was far more patient than Abby had ever shown. Maybe it was the testament to love or maybe Nora was just a good person and Abby is shitty. She had more patience than Mother Thersea herself, and it amazed her. Always guiding Abby with a gentle hand, never getting upset with her even when she let her anger shine through.

It makes her feel undeserving of a love she could never earn.

This pure and untainted love had never touched her before, and she’d never fallen this hard. Abby didn’t want to be anywhere but here. She really thought this could be it. Nora could be the one. They could get through those hardships together, right? 

Then you came and overwhelmed her like a tsunami.

She was running late, which was completely out of the ordinary for Abby. Instead of her neat braid, her sun kissed-blonde hair was in a low bun. Underneath her eyes was evidence of her lack of sleep. She hadn’t been getting any as of lately and the bags only seemed to get deeper.

Abby wouldn’t call the fights constant, but it sure did feel like it.

The back and forth, having the same fight consistently. Abby was more than frustrated. The biggest efforts she made were dismissed by Nora, even making her upset at times. She was trying too hard and being annoying, or not doing enough and then it meant she wasn’t present in the relationship.

Abby felt her stuck at a wall, Nora on the other side of it and she couldn’t hear a damn thing.

So, she was running late.

One of the many fights  they’ve had with each other as of late. Nora is tired of dealing with a “baby gay” as she likes to remind her in the heat of their arguments. Abby gets offended, her lips forming into an even deeper pout, her porcelain skin flushed in anger before she gives them both space. 

Contemplating about the future of their relationship in the shower, causing her to be late to work in the process. 

Astronomically behind – her client arrived at the gym she worked at half an hour ago. The most recent argument with Nora plagued her morning. All they seem to do is argue, trapped in what they both need from the relationship, but all the two of them could do is argue, argue, argue.

But neither of them makes a move. They are still as the eerie silence that carries them into questioning. 

It’s when she’s too inside her head, fearing about the future, when she violently bumps into you. Body colliding with yours, Abby’s stone-like build causes you to crash into the pavement, your belongings scatter along with Abby’s. 

“Fuck. Are you alright? Sorry, I’m in such a hurry, I’m sure I wasn’t even paying attention.” You let her pick you from the ground, she does with ease. She looks right through you and you expect the excitement, the excited tears, or to be asked for a picture but it never comes.   

“For a moment I thought I ran into a wall—” You giggle to yourself. “Really, I’m alright.” You spoke softly. You pick up both of your belongings that had slipped from both of your grips, returning it to its owner. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Abby asks again. 

You think it’s cute how much lace of concern is conveyed in her cerulean eyes, full of light and wonder, so beautiful it stops you in your tracks. 

“No no! I’m fine! Really don’t worry about it.” 

Honestly, you’re still in amazement she has no idea who you are. It makes your fondness of her grow even more. The two of you depart quickly, go about your day, and you think nothing of it until you go to unlock your phone to message your manager and it’s not a picture of the moon you’d taken during the eclipse, it’s the mysteriously hot and kind woman you’d run into before. 

Shit. She has my phone. 

Lucky for you, Abby was coming to the same realization. Ready to bring out the workout she had planned out for her first client, opening her phone to access where she had written everything out only to find this isn’t her phone. Well, fuck. 

Abby hollers at Dina to take over the client for a moment, excusing herself for a moment before retreating into the office to call from her direct line. 

Idiot Anderson. Now you get to make an idiot of yourself, twice. 

Way to go. 

She calls her phone and it rings a few times before the familiar voice chimes through the speaker, the one she heard this morning during her fit of anxiety. 

“Please tell me this is the woman I ran into earlier or else I’m going to be even more embarrassed for answering a stranger's phone.” 

“Well you’re in luck.” 

“Oh thank fuck—” You curse yourself before being so vulgar with someone who you didn’t even know. “Sorry! God, this is all my fault. I must have swapped our phones when I picked them up and didn’t even realize.” 

“It’s okay, really, if I was paying attention where I was walking this morning it never would have happened. Did you wanna meet?” 

“No! Let me. Please, this is all my fault. I should at least be the one who makes the drive.” 

“Are you sure? It’s really no trouble. I don’t mind.” 

“I’m really sure.” 

Abby offers the address of work, thinking once after she does if it’s a good idea, a total stranger knowing where she works but she’s already giving the street name and suite number before she can even make her mind. Abby usually doesn’t get nervous but this situation has sent her into a frenzy, thinking about how dumb she could have been. Nora will get a good laugh out of it she thinks, then she is reminded of the fight the two of them were still in. She wonders if she’s even tried to reach out to her yet or if Nora’s just waiting until Abby’s anger rolls over. 

More favorably, the ladder. 

Until the two of them have the comfort of their lives, the cushion they have between their shared friends and the home they share twenty minutes out of the state, until it comes up again and they’ll be contemplating it all over again. Anxiously, the front desk girl, Bevs, the younger girl who has a crush on her, shyly comes up to her. 

Bevs says what she assumes is your name, confusing Abby in the process. 

“You know her?” 

“How could you not? She’s one of the most famous actresses ever.” Abby is stunned to say the least. Truthfully, she had no idea. Her lack of social media keeps her out of the loop and as much as her friends tease her about, if Abby knew who you were the first time around, she’s sure she wouldn’t have been able to say more than two words. Clearly, you’re a fresh face to her. Already, Abby knows Manny is going to have a field day when Bevs lets this information spill in her sheer excitement. 

Great, she thinks. 

“Oh.” 

“I put her in your office. Some of the clients were already starting to have questioning looks, putting the pieces together. Hey! Maybe they're as clueless as you.” 

“Bevs, go back to the front desk.” With a curt nod and realizing she has pushed too far, with a tail between her legs she retreats back to her post. 

Okay, Anderson, let’s get this over with. 

Abby smells you the minute she steps foot in her office. It’s not the usual pinewood scent the candle in her office radiates. There’s a lingering smell of lavender with just a hit of vanilla. It’s sweet as it engulfs her nostrils, she finds herself sniffling slightly, a silent beg for more of it. You’re standing the minute you’re aware of her presence. Painfully, Abby is aware of her lack of clothing. The tight sport jacket is left unopened, her black sweatpants, accompanied with her sports bra, abs on display as she watches your eyes examine her carefully. 

She’s not sure how to feel about it. 

There is a moment, a short one where your eyes go to her chest, the silver barbells constricting against the small fabric, clear as to what lies beneath. 

Abby does smirk at that. She’s only human. 

You keep staring at her for a minute longer, well it feels like one but Abby deems it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” 

“It’s really not a problem.” The more time goes on, the sweeter you are. “It’s pretty close to where I live.” 

Abby didn’t know it then but you were lying straight through your teeth. The trainer didn’t know you moved around your entire day to make the phone swap or the butterflies swarming your stomach from just how attractive and nice she seemed to be. There was something about her that sent your caution flying to the wind, drifting in the leaves with the rest of your pride. 

“Well I appreciate you coming out this way, even if it’s in your area. I really wouldn’t have minded taking the drive.” Abby pulls out your phone as she hands you yours. It’s simple, transactional, and it should have just been left at that but you had a fondness of putting your foot in your mouth. 

“Are you a trainer here?” 

“Uh, yeah. Been doing it for a few years actually. I spent so much time here already, now I get paid for it. Can’t really complain.” 

“Do you ever do private sessions?” 

“Um-” Abby scratches the back of her awkwardly, not sure if you’re asking her genuinely or if you’re trying to insinuate something else entirely. 

“Oh fuck no! I didn’t mean it like that. I just have a….job opportunity I have to get in shape for and you just look like you know what you’re doing.” Abby thought you might as well point to her physique but if anything she was flattered. It was always nice knowing something she’s been working on for years, her longest standing commitment besides Nora, is appreciated. 

“Sure, we could work something out.” You slightly smile before you exchange phones, this time on purpose, to put in the other’s number. Normally, she didn’t give out her number to clients, but Abby makes an exception for you that day. To this day, she’ll never outwardly admit why she did, not even to herself. 

- 

Two years later, she’s single from her life being turned upside down by you. The casualty being her own relationship, leaving Nora behind was one of the hardest decisions she’s made. Nora never agreed on Abby taking the job. As much as Nora wished for Abby to be more open about their endeavors, as soon as she accepted an offer that could drastically expand the trajectory of their life, Nora couldn’t be asked to compromise another thing. 

That was that. Not even two months into Abby working for you and Nora had called it quits. Abby never talked about it, only you knew she had a girlfriend she used to talk about when you began training with her, and then it was just silent. Back then, you didn’t know her well enough to pry, so you didn’t. 

Even as time passed, the two of you became friends through your employment, spending all your time with her during press season for your upcoming film, Lonely Is The Muse, together. Today was the only day you had off, even if it means Abby technically had the day off, you insisted that both of you leave the hotel and go out for the day. It's the most peace you felt during the European leg of the tour. Only one more day of dealing with your sensory issues, people in your face telling you when and where to go, or the distasteful question regarding your past public breakup instead of the work you were promoting. 

Some interviewers were kind enough to let the drama go but some wanted to get their own viral moment, waiting for you to say the wrong thing. As the industry likes to say, any publicity is good publicity. 

When you’re America's sweetheart actress of the century, such luxuries can’t be afforded. 

As your manager likes to remind you, there’s a reputation you have to protect. 

“Would you like to head back now? Long day tomorrow. Last day of interviews and then your flight leaves first thing in the morning.” 

“Did Stassie put you up to this?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I thought you were supposed to be the fun one.” 

“Mhm, your definition of fun is letting you do whatever you want.” 

“And the problem with that is?” 

All Abby can do is chuckle. 

“What do you want to do then?” Abby asks. She takes note of the sparkle in your eyes, as blinding as the sun but obtaining the serenity of the moon. “I’m all ears sweetheart.” 

It’s how the two of you end up here, a rooftop party, a friend of a friend you said. The party was lowkey, more than the typical ones you would get invited. Maybe because you weren’t in Los Angeles, Miami, or New York — but tucked away on another continent — or perhaps everyone here is just discreet. 

There’s only two fans that come up to you instead of twenty. You’re thankful for some sense of normalcy, one night where you can just feel normal. It still never gets old, people coming up to you as they confess the impact you’ve had on their life. It feels unbelievable at times but you’re grateful for the luxury life you’ve been granted. 

“Here. No liquor tonight.” Abby hands you a glass of red wine, your favorite beverage of choice when you couldn’t have tequila. 

“Yes Ma’am.” You playfully salute her. More than anything, you enjoy the not so subtle chuckle. “Not that I don’t love your company but isn’t Stassie supposed to boss me around?” 

“She felt under the weather. Plus, we both know you don’t listen to her.” 

“And I listen to you?” Your hand plays with her loose blonde hair, smoothing out the white button she’s wearing. 

“Yeah, you do. I wonder why that is.” Abby is playing with fire tonight. Possibly due to the fact that you wouldn’t leave her side, not even for a moment, keeping your body close, practically gluing yourself to her. Yes, she’s charged with keeping you safe and protected but it seems you find enjoyment bringing it to another level entirely. 

“You’re much nicer to look at, that’s all.” It’s light, a quiet whisper, not meant to be heard by anyone — not even for Abby to hear. “Don’t wanna make my handsome bodyguard upset.” 

Faking your pout as you let the words leave your lips, Abby chuckles as you get closer to her, her body standing strong as you push your weight onto her. Stoic as always, while you lean on her, she keeps her eyes peeled. Ensuring your safety at all times. 

“Flattery isn’t going to get you a shot tonight.” 

“I’m just stating the obvious.” 

Abby chuckles, again. She’s delighted you’re enjoying yourself, even if it comes at her expense. There’s a soft jazz song playing outside, couples dancing to the music, you zone out for a moment as you look upon one in particular. 

They are older, possibly in their forties, raven hair beginning to gray, fine lines crinkle when they smile at each other but it’s hard to take note of anything else but the way the couple looks at each other. Your mind wonders how long they’ve been together, if it’s been for years, months, a couple weeks. 

It doesn’t really matter. You just want that. 

The feeling isn’t lost on you, especially when you’re in the arms of the woman you love. For her, she’s being protective, doing her job but you wish it was different. A bubbling desire dripping off your tongue, a need to have her close to you but because she wants. Not because she’s paid to. 

“If I can’t have any tequila shots, god forbid, you have to dance with me.” You down the rest of your wine, placing the empty glass on the bar. “C’mon, you can give Stassie an earful later.” 

Pulling her towards the makeshift dance floor, Abby leads as your head rests against her chest. The steady, soft heartbeat soothes you, a reminder of the safety you feel with her. Caught in the riptide of her kind eyes and heart full of gold. It’s what makes her so unique, so loved, so her. With a surprisingly good tone, Abby sings to the music softly before twirling you around and spinning your body back to her. 

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Your hand rubs lovingly on her lower back as she holds you in her arms. You take pride when it doesn’t feel transactional. When she holds you and it feels as if she was meant to. There’s nothing else comparable to it, her frame melting into yours as your soul finds solace in her warm embrace. 

“There’s plenty of things.” Playfully, Abby smirks. 

“Oh yeah. I’m sure.” 

The sarcasm practically drips out of you as her smirk grows wider. 

“Can I ask you something?” You hesitate for a moment as you find her beautiful blue eyes staring into your soul. It’s only then does everything troubling might dissipate while she holds you — secretly hoping it’s forever. 

“You can ask me anything.” 

You give yourself a moment to collect your thoughts as you move to the delicate beat. “Do you ever wish for a life where you could have had a normal life? I wonder if things could be different.” 

Immediately, Abby answers. 

“Not anymore, no, not for a second.” 

If it was even possible, Abby pulls you closer to her, not urging a word more. It’s how she is, cold and distant to some but they don’t feel the stutter in her breath when you’re near or the soft pad of her thumb rubbing soothingly on the back of your hand. Or the soft words of encouragement when you’re having a difficult day. 

They hear none of it. 

She dances with you for a couple more songs, before you find solace on the couch. You lay beneath the moonlight, your body cuddles into her side as you stare up at the sky. 

It’s lost on you how you’ve ended  with her, someone as kind and untainted as her, wanting to spend her free time with you, but you’re grateful for it. Whatever god you have to thank, you’ll get on your knees to praise their alter for bringing Abby into your life. She’s the best thing to ever happen to you and she doesn’t even know it. Albeit, she hardly knows the extent of how wonderful she is. 

“Why here?” 

“It’s a good night, nice weather. Why not?” 

A question with a question. It’s the most straightforward answer you’ll ever give her. Innuendos for the sweet girl to piece together, but with the soft circles being drawn her stomach with the pad of your finger leaves little to nothing to decode. 

“It’s nice, yeah.” 

Abby always has so little to say but her mind swarms with a thousand reasons why this is a bad idea and a million of why this is where the constellations in the jaded sky have led to you. Straight into the pits of innocence, a heart that’s been hurt more times than she can count but still as golden and whole as one could be. 

“What do you think of Italy?” 

“It’s nice.” 

“Nice? That’s all I get?” 

Abby smirks but her body stills when you play with the waistband of her trousers before gliding back to the security of her abdomen, carving the liner of her defined abs. The ones she tries so hard to cover up, but you saw on the very first day you met her. 

“Do you want more?” You ask, an eyebrow raising in suggestion. Abby knows it’s a double edged sword, one she doesn’t want to be injured with. 

“You’re playing a very dangerous game.” Cautiously, Abby warns. “I’m not sure that last drink was a great idea.” 

You rest your head on her sternum, sapphire eyes looking down at you as her hand finds home on your waist, the blunt of your nails scratching softly at her stomach. 

“They always seem like a great idea at the time, don’t they?” With a gentle hand, you caress her scarred cheek, the pad of your thumb gently tenderly kissing the freckled skin. Outlining the softness of her jaw with your left, while your right one refuses to leave her stomach. 

“I don’t see how anyone would ever want to leave you.” Abby hums, not giving you much to go off of, tight lipped as she’s always been. The Nora situation has always been on your mind. One day, Abby’s speaking of her like she’s the love of her life and the next? Abby stiffens so tight when you bring up her name you promise yourself to never speak of it again. Until now, almost two years later, you’re more curious than you have ever been. The fatal ending, not belonging to you, but still you paw for the answers with your greedy palms. 

“You can just ask me if you want to know. I can see the look in your eyes.” 

“What look? I don’t have a—” 

Abby tilts your chin with your palm, leaning into her touch as you often do. 

“Yes, you do.” 

“How do you know this look?” 

“Hm.” Her thumb pulls at your bottom lip, “You’re just trying to get me in trouble now.” 

Your tone shifts, your eyes become transcendent, more crystal clear than they’d been all night. 

“What happened between you and Nora?” You ask, treading lightly on the ground you’re skating upon, in fear the ground beneath you might just crack if you apply too much pressure. 

“Why is it so important to you?” 

“It’s not that it’s—” You face plant into her chest, giving yourself a moment to breathe. Fuck, even her chest smells good. 

“You don’t ask about anything unless it’s of value to anyone. You don’t waste time, you’re very adamant about it. Painfully so.” Blonde eyebrows relax as she closes her eyes for a moment, but her touch on you soothes you. It’s gentle; a somber comfort bleeding into blissful joy. 

“But I’ve spent a lot of time with you.” 

“Yes, you’ve spent a lot of your time with me.

Abby opens her eyes to see you, your head tilted to the right, as you look upon each carve of her angelic face, the one that could only be carved by the gods above, resembling an angel on earth. As pure as the snow with the biggest heart of gold you ever have had the pleasure of knowing. 

“What?” 

“I didn’t say a thing.” You smile slyly. 

“We didn’t break up because of you, if that’s what you’re asking.” Abby sighs, “You’re not some homewrecker. My home with Nora was already wrecked before we met.” 

“Are you just saying it to make me feel better?” 

“No, I’m not.” You play with the ends of her golden hair, it hurts to be this close to what you want but knowing it’s so clearly out of your reach, league even, all of it will end the same. “Nora wasn’t fond of her being my first relationship with a woman. It caused a ripple effect, me feeling like I wasn’t good enough and her feeling like she has to carry me in the relationship, emotionally anyway.” 

“Is that why you broke up?” 

“No.” 

“It was because of me.” You state, as a matter of fact, knowing there is no other truth to be known. With tears welling up in your eyes, an ache  in your heart, one that made you ache all over. The dread of the guilt weighing heavily on your heart, time and distance still isn’t enough for you to run from it. 

“It was a job that was a great opportunity. Alright? It wasn’t you, even if I hadn’t, we both wanted different things. I didn’t even realize it until after but I wasn’t happy. I promise, it has nothing to do with you.” 

What Abby didn’t know, you needed to hear her say those words. In the back of your head, a monstrous demon unleashes in your mind, telling you crashed her relationship. You were the problem and her inevitable doom, but she’s assuring you it wasn’t the case. 

“We hardly knew each other back then.” 

As pathetic as it sounds, Abby can’t imagine her life without you. 

“Yeah hardly.” 

There’s that look again, pouring into Abby’s soul as it eats her up whole, the gleam in your eyes begging for more. It’ll complicate things if Abby gets involved, she knows this, but it already seems like she is despite her best efforts not to be. 

“Did I do good? You always say you miss stargazing with your brother back home. I know it’s not as quiet as the cabin you have, but I thought it would be okay for now.” 

“The view isn’t bad, not one bit.” She admits as she lets you rub her abdomen, the goosebumps crawling upon her skin the more Abby lets you touch her as if she’s yours to hold. “Lev would like it. I’m convinced the kid likes you more than me now.” 

“As he should. I’m pretty damn amazing.” 

“He asks too many questions though.” 

“About what?” 

“I dunno…..things.” Abby retreats back into her shell, the layer of protection she uses to protect herself from getting hurt. Most of all, out of everyone the gods could torture her to be confused about, of course it has to be you. Everyone in your life is always begging for pieces of your time, pieces of your affection and bits of your time to suck you dry. Abby has always wondered how you juggle it all. It feels cruel to even think you would put her in the mix. 

Painfully, there’s nights like tonight, where she sees the desire swarming in your eyes — every part of her pleads to give in to the temptation. Give into something she’s never even let herself think about until the last few months. As thick as drywall, there was a barrier keeping her heart from you, one she kept to protect you and herself even. 

The absolute last thing she wanted was to wreck everything this has to offer. If she makes the wrong move, all of it can come crashing down on you…it’s the last thing she wants. Make you a martyr in her story, one she thinks and dreams of often but knows you’re too big for her to exist in your life. The circles you run in don’t even exist in the same planet, the same fucking universe if Abby’s being honest. 

“What things?” You pout, your hand traveling south, caressing her thigh with a familiarity Abby wishes you didn’t have. She wishes for a lot but they never come true, that’s all you can be, a dying wish Abby curses upon a fading star.  

“It’s just stupid shit, not worth mentioning.” 

“Abby…” 

“Yeah?” 

“I—” You take a deep breath, your voice already shaky and you haven’t even told her yet. “I don’t think you even know how much you mean to me.” Abby isn’t sure where you’re going with this, terrifying her instantly. 

Have you finally had your fill of her? Were you gonna fire her? Now? 

“Lev doesn’t just talk to you about us.” 

“Us?” Nervously, Abby stomach clenches, unprepared for where this conversation is heading. 

“Why are you so scared?” 

Abby visibly and loudly gulps, almost making you giggle slightly. 

“I-I’m not.” 

The stonewall she attempts to hide behind but you won’t let her, not tonight. Slumping in the shadows, waiting for you to find someone else to love as she watches your happiness from a far, that’s what she allows herself. Nothing more and nothing less. 

“Abs, look at me.” She meets your eyes, away from the constellations in the sky, afraid if she looks for a moment too long she’ll be stuck here forever. “Talk to me, m’right here, not going anywhere unless you want me to.” 

Instantly, Abby grips your hips, keeping you in your place. 

“No, that’s not—” 

“What?” 

“I’m not what you want. I’m surely not what anyone needs. Hell, I’ve only been with one woman which is deemed to be for not being enough, right? I’m the girl who came out too late, who doesn’t have enough experience but because I’m built like some fucking adonis I need to know whatever the fuck I’m doing but I don’t. I never know what I’m doing. The only thing I know how to do is protect you, that’s all I’m good for and I’m not gonna screw that up just because I—” 

“Because what?” Your pelvis is on top of hers, your face coming closer to Abby’s, watching as you are irrevocably close to her, closer than you’ve ever been, wet lips ghosting over her pouty pink lips. Abby doesn’t even know when you moved, how you got so close, too lost in her own head to register your movements. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Abby puffs out. 

“It matters to me.” You sink into her, further, if it's even possible. “No one matters more than you, alright?” 

“But there’s people.” Abby looks for an excuse to get up, she comes up enough so she’s sitting up against the armrest of the patio couch, holding your lower back as she does so, leaving you straddling her hips. 

“I don’t care. All that matters is you.” You push a piece of blonde hair away, seeing her beautiful cheeks more clearly, her shining blue eyes finding its unique path to your heart, the one especially made for her. “Here just let me talk, alright? You don’t have to say anything. Just listen.” 

Abby is nearly crying, practically purring as you run your fingers through her cascading blonde hair. It’s too much but not enough. Although she is sure of one thing, the one thing she wants more than anything. 

“I’ve always been one for pretty girls. I had a reputation around Hollywood, always chasing one after the next, never reaching my fill or as the tabloids like to say.” You chuckled half-heartedly; the wound cutting deeper than you would have liked. “My publicist having to pay paparazzi an obscene amount of money to get these photos from ever hitting online, month after month, it was pathetic really. Just trying to fill a hole, one I didn’t even know how to fill.” 

“I didn’t know that.” 

“It’s not something I’m proud of and I never wanted you to see me differently but I’m not ashamed anymore though. I’m not that person anymore. I haven’t been since I met you.” Abby falls silent, her cheeks turning crimson before she can try to hide it “You not knowing how I was, it's just the humbling I needed. Not to mention you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen— you still are— but you had a girlfriend so I kept my feelings silent. Something just felt different with you and then you were single and I was afraid of you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I didn’t want to ruin you so I made a promise to myself. I would never start anything with you, not unless I was in love with you.” 

“You love me?” 

“It’s impossible not to.” You sigh into her, forehead pressed against hers, her strong hold not letting go. “You don’t have to say anything or do anything. I don’t expect anything in return. I just can’t live in a world where you think because you’re not experienced as some, you think you’re less than people who are.” 

“It’s true, I’m not there with everyone else and it shows.” 

“Abby, you’re not getting it.” 

“Well, no shit. I’m not good enough for any of this, you especially.” 

“It’s not…” You bite your lip as you reach for her hands on your waist, intertwining them with your own. “Abs, it would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.” Your lips ghost over her lips again, but this time Abby inches closer, her breath warm as it hits your mouth. 

“What?” 

“If I was a patient person and waited for you.” 

More than before, Abby’s breath is heavy as the rise and fall of her chest is rapid, trying to calm herself down but it’s impossible when you’re this close. It’s a lot for her, maybe she’s overly sensitive, but your touch is practically lighting her on fire. Abby wonders if it will ever be able to be put out or if your magnetic touch will leave her scorned. 

Puppy eyes inwardly pleading for an ounce of your touch, so sweet as she supports your weight with her strong thighs, anchoring you to her — never quite letting go. A single glance detrimental to the layer of protection she built around herself. 

“There’s no more waiting, m’right here.” Abby closes the gap indefinitely, lips connecting with yours as they move in perfect harmony, as if this is what she was made for. Involuntarily, she whimpers in your mouth as you gently tug at her bottom nibble at her bottom lip, your tongue sliding in as it dominates her own. It happens too quickly — the way her very being melts into you. 

Like honey to a bee, there’s nothing that’s ever been so sweet. 

This is all you need. 

“Abby?” 

“Yeah, angel?” 

“Let’s get out of here.”

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[kazewhara]

IM SORRY XIAO BRAINROT

Did you mention XIAO.

I just had to come in here like a crazy hawk because XIAO. Anyways,, Xiao being affectionate.. there's this other post of yours answering to an anon's screenshot of devs stuff? I think it's with Xiao being a gentle soul???

So yes, I'm going through that rn!!!! Like,, he's definitely having a hard time really adjusting to being that way again, if he ever finds comfort in you. He's like a hesitant moth with a flame, doesn't know what he's supposed to do -- run away from the one thing that can hurt him (like he used to), or embrace it quickly.

Brainrot might not make much sense,, but Xiao that finally uses his room in Wangshu Inn because you always came to visit, came to help him bandage his wounds, came to have dinner with him and he looks forward to it. He's not going to admit it, but he tries his best to let you know that he appreciates it. A lot. He's not a tsundere who denies everything, he's more of.. cautious. He's afraid, but he wants to try. It's different with things like that glowing orb because they're not people, he doesn't have to speak to let them know what he thinks about. He just,, basks in their presence. Only problem is animals / creatures feel his karmic debt, and people don't, and he has a hard time trying to really adapt to such. Don't think being an adeptus helps since the other adepti prefers their solace? What are your thoughts, Shiloh?

XIAO BRAINROT 🥳🥳🥳

there was that one line from the developer's notes... i know i mentioned it before and i can't remember it verbatim but it likened xiao to a beast circling something out of curiosity.

personally i think xiao is cautious because he's curious. does that make sense?

xiao may be a centuries-old adeptus, but if the way he reaches towards that little light is any indication, he's not immune to the act of pursuing something out of sheer curiosity. sure, he may know the consequences of indulging himself like that, but he's still capable of doing it, and i think that's what makes him so alert when it comes to you

other mortals don't approach him -- most don't even really know he exists. but not only are you aware of his existence, but you're approaching him — inviting him; you're asking him to give in to temptation and (possibly) endanger others for his own greed.

(that's not literally what you're asking and he knows that, but he's too aware of what happens every time he lets his guard down.)

and he can't even be mad at you because he likes it. loves it, even. unlike that orb, you're not shying away from him or fleeing from him or dying when he's around you for too long.

instead, you're nimbly working your fingers across his skin, wrapping bandages around gaping wounds that he already told you would heal on their own in a few hours; you're crying for him when he recounts a memory to you at your request; you're kissing his hands when he finally musters up the courage to show you; you're combing your fingers through his hair when he lays on top of you, your heartbeat lulling him into a much needed sleep.

you're everything xiao needed and more. he can never shake the fear that someday, his karma will catch up with him and that something will go horribly wrong, but until that day comes, he will be as greedy as you taught him to be -- as you allowed him to be -- and he will stay here, pressing barely there kisses against your cheeks as you sleep next to him while he keeps watch over you

[andiwriteordie]

Andi I'm not supposed to read the NWH byler fic rn bc I have a headache and I said I'd do it TMR but I read a little bit of it bc I can't help myself and now I'm shaking (just a bit) but part of me was gaslighting myself into thinking it wasn't. Well. NWH plot. Andi I'm so upset already like. Like I KNOW how the movie ends and I'm still convincing myself it's an au so the ending will be. Um. Different. This is the same shit that happens with I know better (which. Um. I'll finish soon I swear I WILL I've just been busy. Also procrastinating bc I do Not want to cry) and I know it didn't work out for me (*shakes fist angrily*) so. So yk.

Anyways congrats on 1 million words (you're crazy and I'm afraid I can't go crazy with you bc I write slow. Also my dad low-key broke my laptop (it's fine I got a new one ey) so I couldn't have even if I wanted to vaguely try idk) you are so impressive and I adore you so much I love you okay bye 👋👋 CONGRATS tho you're so cool and awesome and amazing 🥰🥰🥰 gn I need to stop looking at my phone my head hurts oof

(also ps. I'm so like. Happy? That you like stonathan (+stoncy) like it's so funny to me bc ive never seen many ppl who shipped it elsewhere until. Well. Recently. it is SO funny ily okay goodnight)

TOY

omg no i'm sorry you have a headache 😭🫂 those are the worst, but i hope you're feeling better today!

oh my god i know, i know, i keep writing established byler in this nwh fic, and i'm like lying on the floor and crying thinking about them getting separated at the end of it (which is part of what made me enjoy nwh so much too, like that was some good angst). i'm not promising anything, but i have considered what it would look like to end this a little differently than nwh but still maintain the overall plot that would remove will from the public eye essentially... idk. work in progress. maybe i should do another poll (i'm joking. mostly.) and let the people decide we'll see.

(GO FINISH I KNOW BETTER TOY. IT WILL BE OK I PROMISE YOU. DO I NEED TO WRITE A FLUFFY FIC TO GIFT TO YOU AS COMFORT FOR FINISHING IT? BECAUSE I WILL. SEND ME A PROMPT AND I'LL DO IT)

ok i lowkey want to hear the "dad broke my laptop" story because wow??? that literally sucks? my laptop broke this year and i was a Very Grumpy person for a solid few days. and thank you!!! i'm pretty sure some of the 1 million was written in 2021 technically, but i'm counting it because i know there are things i haven't posted or finished that i wrote this year 😂

STONATHAN/STONCY FOR THE WIN. look. down with the love triangle, jonathan byers has two hands, and they are for his two favorite bisexuals. i love the fact that so many bylers also ship stonathan/stoncy. like. this is why you're my people.

[cuppimagines]

Hi I'm currently dying trying to make this older guy with GIANT hands fuck me and your blog is like. killing me rn. Can we have some more imagines that have literally anything to do with big hands 🥺 I just want some big burly mobster w giant thick ass fingers to make me cum so hard i cry

I KINDA went really indulgent with this one, I had a TON of fun writing it which is probably why it came out as quickly as it did, SO I hope you like it too

Back straight, head held up, arms behind your back, but you were still shaking in your heels. The room smelled of cigar smoke, and the man in front of you toon the cigar from his mouth and put it out in an ashtray nearby. With his...second pair of arms. Not only was he a shady arms dealer that you were hunting down for months, but also a four armed, eight eyed dark grey spider with biceps bigger than your head on all four arms. His name was Harkan Spinner, and you found him alright, but now he had you right where he wanted you.

“So...” Harkan leaned against his desk. “What’s a cute little private eye doing getting in over their head? Did someone want you to find me? A pissed off colleague, a lonely betrayed friend?”

“I-well I uh...” you started to stutter. You had to find him because of a supposed loan he owed your client before jumping ship and taking business elsewhere in the country. But only now, standing in front of him did you realize that you didn’t know what to do now that you were here...He was huge, and could easily crush you under one thumb. Seeing the realization wash over you made Harkan let out a condescending laugh.

“I actually don’t care, I’m sure there are tons of people who hate me, but I didn’t expect any of them to send a rookie detective,” his eight eyes all glared you up and down. “Especially not one so cute, cute enough to eat I might add...” he stood up, and even with him getting closer to you, you didn’t run, instead looked up at him as you felt your face flush red hot.

“I’m not here to force anything, but my client knows your location, and so will be needing your lo- your Uh...” you got distracted when he put his hand on your shoulder, and pulled you even closer.

“You and I both know I won’t do that, because I really don’t give a shit,” he smirked. “But I will thank this “client” that you keep choosing not to name. I love the entertainment he sent me.” You stopped staring at him only to start staring at his hands. Along with the rest of him, Harkan’s hands were so large, you felt that if he squeezed your shoulder just a little bit harder it would shatter. And the thought made you very intimidated, but excited at the idea.

“Are you looking at something?” He asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Did something catch your eye little one?” His hand moved from your shoulder, right up to grabbing your face, with two of his hands holding your waist.

“Use your words kitten,” he smirked. He made you stare right up at him, and you could feel your body shake even more. He was so big...so cocky and sure of himself. You’d be angry at him but instead you were drawn to him.

“Y-your hands are...”

“Big?” His thumb gently rubbed your cheek. “And I got more than two of em, wanna see what they can do, kitten~?”

“Yes! Please...!” You realized you answered way too quickly, almost immediately, and turned your head in embarrassment.

“That’s exactly what I wanna hear,” Harkan smiled. At that second, the hand on your cheek wrapped around your neck, and his free hand went to your face, two fingers gently placed up to your mouth.

“Open your mouth, kitten,” he demanded. Your parted your lips for his fingers, and almost immediately his fingers went to the back of your throat. Just two fingers felt so large they filled your mouth so much. Without a command, you started licking his fingers, wrapping your tongue around them and curling against them. You moaned and whimpered, and shuddered in his touch.

“Mmm...you’re so cute,” Harkan smiled. “And so eager too...keep sucking, those fingers are gonna be fucking you to tears very soon...” The thought made you melt in his touch, your thighs pressed together as your arms went up to grab his large wrist. It felt too soon when his fingers left your mouth, and his hand left your throat. His two fingers were slick with your saliva, and you could swear you were drooling in anticipation for what’s gonna happen next.

Very roughly, Harkan tossed you down onto his desk, and you felt his hand creep up your skirt, while one of his other hands grabbed your wrist.

“Legs spread, keep still, be a good girl,” Harkan smiled. He pulled your panties down, and put them to the side, before two of his slick fingers started rubbing up and down your folds. You moaned, looking up at him with pleasing eyes while you kept your legs nice and spread. You wanted it so badly...

“What did I say earlier kitten?” Harkan asked, his slick wet fingers still against your cunt. “Use your fuckin words.”

“Please!” You cried out. “Please Harkan, please I need this...”

“Good...such a good girl...” Harkan smirked down at you, before you felt only one of his large fingers push past your entrance and thrust up and down inside of you. Just ONE felt so large, practically the same size of a regular cock you’ve taken in the past, and that alone got you moaning loudly for him. So large, yet so gentle at first. He obviously didn’t wanna hurt you, and it felt so good.

“That feels so good, oh god...!” You moaned. “Ah...ah fuck...you’re doing so so good...”

“No need to tell me, kitten,” Harkan leaned down and kissed you, before you felt his two fingers slide into you, filling you up so good while his thumb rubbed your clit. If your hands were free at all, you’d grab him by the collar and keep him in the kiss, but you were at this large spider’s mercy, and he pulled away and looked down at your glazed over expression. Your moans were so heavenly to him, Harkan could barely look away from you, like he was admiring his work.

“Oh kitten...” he sucked his teeth. “No other lover is treating you well are they? Haven’t had someone finger you like this?” You didn’t even answer, just moaned loudly and squirmed in his grip. You bucked your hips against his fingers, as you felt him go deeper than your own fingers ever could until his knuckles couldn’t go any further. Your moans were absolute music to the large spider’s ears, a sweet melody that made his pants feel tighter and put a satisfied smirk on his face.

He was gentle, so gentle with you at first, but he slowly got rougher the more he gauged your arousal. You felt him thrusting his fingers in and out of you while a fourth hand rubbed circles into your clit. There was a soaking wet mess that was dripping onto the table, and your eyes were completely glazed over, but soon shot back to life as you arched your back and cried out. Harkan started to get real rough and fast with you, his fingers getting soaked down to the knuckle in your juices as he watched you beg and plead for more.

“Please, please oh god please!” You moaned out. “I need more, please it feels so good!”

“Shhh shh shh,” Harkan leaned down to kiss you. “I know you do, you’re such a good little kitten, I can feel it, you’re almost there, come on~!” You felt yourself tighten around his fingers, moving and bucking your hips like your life depended on it. You couldn’t take it anymore, you could feel yourself tip over the edge. In one final loud moan of his name, your pussy clenched around him and you felt your body twitch and spasm as you finally came, soaking your inner thighs, his fingers, the table underneath you.

When Harkan let you go you lay there limp and exhausted. You felt a mess but a good one, and Harkan sat back with a grin on his face admiring his work. You tried to sit up, and noticed a very large, impressive bulging in Harkan’s pants, and went to rub at it while looking up at him.

“Sh-should I...?” You muttered. He just grabbed your hand and gently pulled it away.

“No, no, I’d be way too much for you to handle, for now that is,” he said. “I had fun with you tonight though. I guess that means I’ll be a good citizen and pay what I owe, if your client comes and faces me like an adult.” Harkan looked down at his soaking wet fingers, and went up to lick them, moaning at the taste.

“Cute enough to eat...” he smirked, causing you to turn red and look away. He looked down at you and gave you a few gentle, loving kisses on the cheek and forehead.

“If you’re still in town tomorrow, I’ll visit,” he said. “In fact I’ll drive you back, there’s no way in hell the buses are still running at this hour, sound good?”

“Yeah, uh, thanks Harkan,” you smiled, as he lifted you up in his arms and carried you, exhausted to the exit of his office.

“Anytime, kitten.”

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI! I FINALLY HAVE TIME! VERY TIRED BEEN UP SINCE 7 BUT REALLY WANNA READ AND LIVEBLOG CAUSE I MISS THAT SHIT

also I think I might be lactose intolerant? but I only get really fucking bad headaches, nausea and the like from milk but am pretty okay with other dairy products and it...oh wait no ice cream and yogurt also make me sick after I pass a certain limit and is this why cheese makes my stomach feel weird sometimes? okay theory, I am not TOO lactose intolerant. main problem is milk and the rest I can have in limits. makes sense.

also HOW ARE YOU?? I'VE BEEN SO SWAMPED WITH THINGS THAT I'VE SPENT MOST NIGHT SO DRAINED AND DEAD IT'S CRAZY.

BUT I DID CATCH UP ON IALS AND READ THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS OF LBAF.

alright! CHAPTER 4!!

david loml it'll be fine...probably idk man I am really scared for y'all

Alright random person...I will fight you in an abandoned parking lot for this DO NOT DO THIS SHIT

David :((

First I cry over IALS mavid...now I have to cry over lbaf mavid. what is this happening

DAVID! NO DO NOT DO THAT TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!

also there's this thing called Communication. Not sure y'all have heard of it though. Lmk if you need a dictionary :)

to the fucker attacking the institute, motherfucker I will literally push you off a building

maybe it's someone who wants him to not be the head of the institute for whatever reason?

Anyway Anjali so hot so efficient would literally die for her

david you good bro? God I love it when the kind ones go feral

no but srsly you good? Well no but like...Im worried. For his health. David :((

“Ask for help,” she said again. “And if you are feeling overwhelmed, take a break.”

QUEEN SHIT

“Revenge means you are being harmed in return for the suffering you’ve caused,” Anjali told him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You did the right thing. So, even if it is Asmodeus, this isn’t revenge. This is an attack, David. And I intend to put an end to it.”

God I love it when women

the picture I WILL SOB DO NOT DO THIS TO ME

Them :((

“Why do people call me baby boy or baby girl?” David wondered out loud.

AJHSHUIDC JACE

petition to only call david baby boy or baby girl from now on

I've been watching The Crown (it took me three days to get through episode 1 but let's not talk about that) so I am literally hearing all the dialogues in with an english accent. It's...something

Some people drank alcohol to relax. David drank tea.

Bitch same.

I've lately fallen in love with Earl Gray. I drink it while I'm studying. I sit down at my desk with my tea and only then do I get to work. Helps me focus and keep my anxiety at bay. Good shit.

same energy as me realising how quickly I had been going through my tea. I...I've been way too stressed lately too, hon. NOT THIS WEEKEND THOUGH HHAHA

he would love a cake <3

oh to have someone buy me overpriced magic chocolate

DARK?? HUH

prince...?

WJAT IS HAPPENING WOMAN EXPLAIN

that's so romantic though 🥺

LEVI?? TIS YOU??

in my relating a bit too much to david era kjkcuhud

Bitch I know you're stressed as fuck so like?? TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?? Srsly, shit's really hard rn for you and it's gonna get harder. Take a nap or something

“Mon ange,” David chuckled and pointed at the screen. “He went back in time and is literally trying to sleep with his own mother.”

I AM SORRY, WHO IS DOING WHAT NOW

NOT NOW! FUCK NO!

not the ICE CREAM

also yeeeeeeeeeee camilaaaaaaaaaa

david and anjali wedding CRYING SOBBING SHAKING LOOK AT THEM

that's a really long proposal dude you're not writing an essay

 “My fave power couple is getting hitched. Do it soon!”

Live footage of me

omg the talk with the parents huduifuifugiugf

I love rafe so muvh omg

anjali truly the best person out there

THEM OH MY GOD THEM

I am so soft rn no one talk to me

Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.

SOBBING

they're so amazing I could cry

how bout I punch Kingsley

Oooo marcus

marcus is kinda cool though. I'll probably not like him by the end of this but still

what...what is he working on

what the fuck you on dude?

i love camila so much

damn girl!!

oh marcus...Yeah I remember now what he was doing...

ah yes, the seashell

cool motives but like...that's not gonna happen

we don't live in a perfect world bud. exploitation and prejudice are the first two words that come to my mind when I think of his thoughts becoming a reality.

He didn’t like it when Mallory was in a bad mood. He wanted her to be happy.

Mal in a bad book ends horribly for every person she has ever interacted with

DON'T SMOKE

I was watching The Crown and George is LIKE SICK AS FUCK MAN IS DYING LEAVING BEHIND A DAUGHTER NOT PREPARED FOR THE CROWN JUST YET AND HE'S SMOKING. Sir you just went through a surgery to remove one of your lungs?? you have cancer?? You're coughing up blood?? AND YOU'RE SMOKING!!!

"I know," she smiled at him. "My destiny is Max."

Oh no...I will stab :)

“I’ll ask Jeff to ready the jet,” he smiled at her.

The...what...that is so bad for the environment dude I'm pretty sure there is a beach in New York...I forgot how rich they were for a second there...Taylor swift core

Sometimes...you just wanna get stabby with someone...the someone is two someones...

If they do something to Anjali...

Sigh

AYY IT'S SELENA AND GIGI

AND LEXI

lexi...I love you so much but please...just talk to liv about this

YOU CAN'T DO SHIT LIKE THIS OH MY GOD

lexi YOU CAN FUCKING FLY

I will repeat advice I gave in part 2 (?). Fly there, tell her, fly away.

:)

gabriel and selena >>>>

“Relationship drama waits for no one,” Selena huffed. “Besides, stop making excuses, Lex. Just do it.”

putting off stuff like this makes it so SO much worse lex.

LIV AND LEX ARE SO AMAZING

OH I HAVE A STORY

We threw a farewell for someone right? and that day my friends and I were all sitting together and one of us had a permanant marker so like rational people, we wrote on our hands. I wasn't sure what to write but then I remembered seeing an anon say that their shipname should be lixi so that is what ended up going on the place underneath my thumb. You know where you can feel the bone? I wrote "Lixi" right there. Nice day that was.

which reminds me I need to make plans for my birthday next week with my friends-

ANYWAY

No amount of biceps or boobs will distract her today.

me to me every morning

and I love you guys <33

The man went to Idris to talk to the Inquisitor.

Good luck and god bless!

SCREAMING

Lexi stared at the numbers. It gave her a fucking headache

Me in maths everyday.

My math test went so well today I got everything right EXCEPT MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO SOLVE THE LAST PART OF THE LAST QUESTION I HAD THE TIME I SIMPLY DID NOT REMEMBER TO SOLVE IT FURTHER I WILL THROW MYSELF FROM A CLIFF

ahem

“Wait,” Lexi said. “Are you saying these are not demon attacks?”

Imma get the knives

Lexi was going to help Gabriel figure this out. She was going to find out who was hurting her brother like this.

Hurting him with paperwork!

And she was going to kick their ass!

AHHUKDCUIFV HELL YEAH LEX

lots of blob thingies

“Have you guys seen shadow demons? They’re the demons of Lucifer.”

foreshadowing

I am sorry they materialized WHERE

grabriel is so cool omg

THE SONG CHOICE YES

She was talking about some issue with the warlocks in LA not being able to use magic

foreshadowing

lexi NO METAPHORS PLEASE

Lex I told you not to go with metaphors...sigh

this is really entertaining though.

LMAOO LEXI PLEASE-

Oh. OH DISCOVERY

Shit. white...who's magic is white?

FUCKING HELL

and on this note a very good night I can't wait to sleep. LOVE YOU!

Evieeeee. I missed your live blogs so much 😭😭😭

Here is a meme that perfectly captures my reaction to it

I like the live blog too akskskssm but the random gossip 😍😍😍

Your Lexi energy is unmatched 😎

[chocolvte]

(1) uh hello? um yeah i love your fics and they are really good to read whenever i feel stressed and stuff. it's just a lot has been piling up rn. like my best friend may have depression and honestly i don't know how to feel because i'm dealing so much anxiety from it and i want to comfort her but i'm not exactly sure how over text or call as she often gets anxious and even suicidal when i'm not around her. and i've missed most of last week of school and there's so much to do and not enough time

(2) i don't know how to deal with it anymore. i just want to be happy but now rn i'm having an anxiety attack from thinking about it all. i don't really like talking about my feelings like this because i don't like pushing them onto others who might be feeling the same thing but my chest just feels so tight rn and i'm finding it hard to breathe and i'm crying and shaking while typing and my nose is starting to run. i hate when this happens i've been keeping it in control since freshman year and

(3) i'm now a junior and i don't know. the stress and anxiety is eating me up. i dread going to school tomorrow and seeing everyone... my teachers and my best friend. i want to be there for her. but i'm facing so much anxiety rn and i don't even know who to talk to right now. it can't be her bc she's going through so much rn and i can't push anything onto her. i want to go to school bc i've missed so much and i don't want to stay home but i also don't bit i've missed so much already.

(4) what to do anymore. i have so much work to do but as i mentioned rn i'm having an anxiety attack. oh and I was wrong, i had one during around christmas randomly while buying a tree with my family and i was just so quiet and in the very back reading day6 fics and i don't know it's just back to this feeling again...

hi my love. i want you to take a second and breathe for me, okay? relax your shoulders, close your eyes, and take a nice deep breath. hold. and let it out. there we go! good job, sunshine.

i am so sorry that you have to deal with so much stress on your shoulders. i can literally feel how overwhelmed you are through the screen and it’s breaking my heart.

i know how draining and lonely it feels to be coping with school stress and your friends’ problems at the same time, so i just want you to know that i’m here for you if you need me. you can always vent to me if your irl friends aren’t in the headspace to hear it.

stay safe, sweet pea. try and take some time for yourself every day if you can, even if it’s just a few moments of breathing deeply or reading a day6 fanfic. you need those moments to stay sane and to keep supporting everyone else the way you do, you little angel. there’s only a few months of the school year left and then you’ll be a senior! you can do this!