#i'm like this because i eat too much when i'm not even hungry and i refuse to exercise
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If its not too much trouble I think a non human Whumpee that can't touch water because it burns them or something like that being forced to take a shower by whumer could be interesting
Warning: swearing, water torture.
"The water is corroding through your skin. Your skull is about to feel the burn of ten thousand suns. Tell me where your coven is", Whumper stared angrily at the beast restrained on the cold metal slab.
"No", Whumpee gritted their teeth.
Another droplet of water dripped out of the bucket hung directly above their head. A tiny hole had been made into the plastic bucket. Every few minutes a droplet of water worked its way out of the hole and onto Whumpee's head.
It sizzled as it landed on Whumpee's forehead.
Whumpee let out a guttural scream and fought against the restraints.
"This can all be over. Where are they?", Whumper slammed on the table.
"Fuck off... I'm not telling you", Whumpee barred their fangs.
Whumper sighed and slapped the bucket a few times. Droplets of water sprinkled all over Whumpee's face.
"AHHUGH", Whumpee screamed. They took deep breaths and squirmed around the table.
"Maybe a sip of water would help. Are you thirsty?", Whumper reached for a cup.
Whumpee closed their mouth and tucked their lips in tightly.
Whumper fought them for a few moments before someone else came in.
"You'll kill them if they drink it. We need answers", they warned.
"I'll take that drink now that you mention it", Whumpee whispered, "I'd rather die."
"Not a chance", they took the cup from Whumper and splashed it over Whumpee's bare chest.
"Mmmm", Whumpee groaned, "fuck all of you."
Their skin bubbled up and sizzled
"Put them away. We can give them some time to stew in their cell. No food or water. We have no idea what that thing can eat and what will kill them", they turned leaving Whumper to their devices.
Whumpee screamed as another droplet fell on their forehead.
"It looks like we hit bone", Whumper chuckled.
Whumpee was left on the table they had been restrained too. They looked around the room they had been left in.
Reinforced metal walls and an even heavier door. Cameras pointed at them from every angle.
Whumpee's head ached, and they were so hungry.
"Oh the forest is where I run and play. I can roam there all night and day", Whumpee sang, "my ancestors left the forest for me. I take care of it like I've learned and seen."
"Shut up", a robotic voice yelled at them, "the only thing we want you to say is information about your coven."
Whumpee sang louder over the voice. This was the only way they could keep their sanity.
Their cell door was slammed open, causing them to jump.
Their table was roughly pulled out if the room.
"Where are you taking me?", Whumpee frowned as they watched the room they were in earlier pass by.
Whumpee fought violently when they realized they had been brought into the locker rooms.
"You wouldn't", Whumpee yelled, "you fucking wouldn't."
They screamed as they passed a sign that read showers.
"Try me", Whumper glared as they turned the shower on.
A gag was pushed into Whumpee's mouth.
Whumpee looked at their captors with wide eyes. The table they were on began to be pushed to the shower head.
"Yhmm, nmmmm", Whumpee screamed into the gag.
Their feet went under first... then their legs.
Whumpee's eyes were squeezed shut as their skin blistered and bubbled.
"Stop", an order came from the entrance of the locker room.
Whumper quickly pushed the table even farther under the water.
Whumpee's stomach smoked as the water beat against their skin.
Whumpee went in and out of consciousness. They knew the water had been turned off. Their skin continued to pulsate. The pain was too much.
They could hear Whumper being reprimanded.
"Under attack", was the last thing they heard.
Whumpee weakly opened their eyes.
Everything hurt. Their skin was so tight from the burns. They looked down over themself. Their skin was blistered and bumpy. Other patches didn't have any skin at all.
Someone came into the room.
"Please, please no more", Whumpee cried, "just kill me."
"Hey shh. We are taking you home", someone frowned, "I am captain..."
"H-home", Whumpee whispered, "no, how did you find....", Whumpee started to hyperventilate.
"I need you to relax. We are the good guys. Your coven told us that you had been kidnapped. It took us time to find you. Unfortunately the damage is severe. Your captors will pay for what they've done. They will stand trial. We are rushing you home now. Your people know better on how to heal you."
Whumpee shivered, both from the pain, but also from the idea of going home.
"Someone has been waiting on a line for when you woke up", the captain clicked a button, "do you wish to hear from them."
Whumpee nodded, not knowing what to expect.
"This is the Coven's leader. Am I talking to Whumpee?"
"Y-yes", Whumpee's lip quivered.
The leader took in Whumpee's whimpering.
"You have done good work protecting our coven. You have been declared a hero. The medicine woman is ready to receive you. She knows of your injuries. A feast will be held in your honor", the leader explained to Whumpee.
Whumpee couldn't control themself and started to cry.
The captain saw red coming from Whumpee's eyes.
"Their eyes are bleeding", the captain told the leader.
"It's tears. We don't cry normal tears because of the water. Our species have evolved to cry blood platelets."
"Whumpee there is something else. Someone wishes to sing to you", the leader smiled.
"Oh the Forest is where I run...:
"Mama", Whumpee weakly starred.
"Yes baby. You are so brave", a woman's voice came over the line, "we will get you all fixed up. You will be okay."
Whumpee cried louder.
"Thankyou.... thankyou."
"We will arrive to your meeting place soon", the captain took over the call, "they seemed to have relaxed a little now. I'm glad you remained on the line for them."
"Anything for our brave hero", the leader spoke softly, "we are ready to receive them. Thankyou for working so hard to rescue them Captain."
"You're welcome."
"Thankyou", Whumpee whispered as they continued to weep, "thankyou."
Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.
@the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath
@porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst
@generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened
@freefallingup13 @notpeppermint
@cyborg0109 @idontreallyexistyet
@painfulplots @whumpbump
@everythingsscary @skittles-the-whumpee
@expressionless-fr @theforeverdyingperson
@legendarydelusiongoatee @candleshopmenace
@whumpanthems @lavndvrr
@ivymyers @starfields08000
@a-living-canvas @lumpofsand
@watermeezer @indigoviolet311
@whumpy-mountains
@risk606 @electrons2006
@paperprinxe @whumprince
@kaz-of-crows @mis-graves
@decaffeinatedtimetraveler94 @sausages-things
@castiels-favorite-hunter @isikedmyself878
@daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud @valravnthefrenchie
@glennemerald @jasperthecapser
@does-directions @deafeninglittlecrown
@jumpywhumpywriter @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat
@mylifeisonthebookshelf @thenormalestever
@whatwhump @galatic-worm
@starmoon-constellation @bacillusinfection
@whumpsandbumps @tobiasbones
@octopus-reactivated @string-of-broken-hearts
@weirdthingweee
#whump community#whump stuff#whump ask#whump writing#whump ideas#whump scenario#whump#whumper#whumpee#monster whumpee#inhuman whumpee#oc#caretaking
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bratty?
"Are you kidding me?" The music abruptly stopped as Ryan held up his hands before storming over to the guitarist and ripping the sheet music away from him. "Did you even fucking try to read this? At all?" He pressed his fingers to his temples with a great sigh. "I don't know why Cass even insists on hiring musicians. She knows I can play all the instruments myself."
The man at the guitar put the instrument down and stood roughly. "Then why don't you?"
"Because Cass insists on hiring you. Only for you to butcher my fucking music. I want it played as written for the recording, mate. It's my vision, my song. No improv, no creative flair. This is a Reks Lee song, one hundred percent by Reks Lee. Not by Reks Lee and some random nobody his manager picked up off the street."
He turned away before the poor sod could answer, continuing to try and massage away the headache threatening to crack his skull. It did nothing to help.
"I'd always heard Reks Lee was great to work with." A snide voice piped in from behind him. One of the other special hired helpers, he supposed. "Didn't realise he was such a prick."
So great. Not only am I stressed beyond belief, tired as fuck and packed in a schedule tighter than a nun's holes, but my reputation in the industry is about to get completely fucked too. Whoop de doo.
Ryan handed back the crumpled sheet music with a sigh. "Look, just...just play the music, okay? We need this done by five, we only have the studio until five, I want it done early if possible because I've got to go straight on to a bloody performance in bloody Milton Keynes of all places. So...please."
He stalked back to his place as his stomach twisted in that frustratingly familiar ache that came with not having eaten a thing today and barely eating yesterday. Add starving to that stupid list. Ever since he'd started gaining real notoriety, Cass had really been on his arse, keeping him busy at all hours to make the most out of having at least one genuinely famous client. That often meant wall to wall work without a single break to eat and a very grumpy singer. He paused to adjust his microphone and that was when the hell cramps in his belly released in a low, longing growl. Loud enough for the others to hear, judging by the snort of laughter from the amateur guitarist.
"So are you always this much of a cunt or just when you're hungry?"
Perhaps it was a subconscious effort to save face or protect what little reputation he had left, but he answered with a terse "just when I'm hungry" through gritted teeth. His stomach punctuated that with another insistent, burbling groan and he found himself pressing a hand to his belly, trying to ease the discomfort just a little. He gave his tummy a rub, trying to work out the knots and cramps, but every time one released another took its place.
"When did you last eat, man?"
"None of your fucking business."
"More than a day ago then. Got it."
Ryan rolled his eyes so hard they could have popped right out of his head. "Well, the sooner we get this done, the sooner I can eat." His stomach moaned miserably again.
"Anyway, you'd think you'd be less pissy considering I only got the sheet music yesterday. Like, come on, man, give me some time to learn it before you jump down my ass."
"...What? No, excuse me, what?" Frustrated, he dragged his hands through his hair. "Are you telling me Cass only...yesterday?" He took a deep breath, then kicked the microphone stand, stomped to the nearest chair and hid his face in his arms. After a moment, he heard the snide helper, he did not know her name, come up beside him.
"How about I order some pizza or something?"
"I don't have time for pizza." The thought was tempting, though. He was so fucking hungry, just the thought of even a cheap pizza from the nearby dive set his mouth watering and his stomach grumbling. "I have to get this done. Cass-"
"Get a new agent." The guitarist told him sharply, sitting down next to him. "Or manager, whatever she is. And learn to tell her no, man, for fuck's sake."
Learn to say no. That had always been a problem for Ryan. People pleaser, he'd called himself, but really it was just code for 'easy to abuse'. It was second nature by now to keep his head down and his mouth shut, do as he was told and deal with the consequences as they came.
"'Sides, your gut sounding off like that'll get in all the recordings anyway." Ryan huffed while the others laughed. One of his arms came down away from his face and clamped around his belly instead as it let out another hollow groan. "Saige, order a few pizzas. We'll fill our bellies and have another crack at the recording when everyone's in a better place physically and mentally. Trust me, man, there will be way fewer interruptions then. We might actually get a smooth run without you losing your shit again."
Ryan sighed, rubbing his poor, aching belly as he thought it over. "Fine...pizza sounds good. I'll pay."
"No, I'm buying it." Saige insisted, shaking a finger at him.
"... I'll at least chip in. Come on, this is embarrassing enough."
"You won't stop until I cave, will you?"
"I'm one stubborn bastard."
Saige laughed as she put in the order. "Fine. Pay me back later. For now, let's get you fed."
#Meet OC rock singer Reks Lee#real name Ryan-Eric Kingsley#plus Saige and Tom who end up being his new besties#This is my first ever attempt at writing something kink centric lmao#hunger kink#hunger growls#stomach growling#hunger#hungry tummy#hungry stomach#stomach growls#hunger prompts#prompt meme
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Just Mom
Joško Gvardiol x Wife Reader
Joško and reader has a 3 year old son that always wants to be with his mother.
Hi 🤸🏻♀️ I hope you will like it. Feedbacks are welcome 💞💋 English is not my first language, sorry for mistakes 😜
You heard the sound of Josko's car slowing down in the garage way. You were preparing a salad what's for dinner with your 3 year-old son who was next to you, climbed his ladder so he can see counter and help you. His head was resting on your left side, hands tapping the surface.
"Oh, tata is here i think Y/S/N" He seemed unbothered, still focused on you. You continued chopping vegetables because you were nearly done with it.
"I'm homee!!" Hearing his voice made you happy and grateful. Love of your life is here, came back to you again. Every time when he leaves the house you always wished him to come back home healthy and happy, considering he is doing a job where there is always a chance he can get injured. Or in traffic. Anything can happen in a blink of an eye. Maybe you are too concerned? Overthinking too much? Does it matter though? You want and wish your family to be healthy and secure every day.
You called to him "We are in the kitchen."
His perfume was faster than his steps. Firstly your nose felt his presence and then your body. He hugged you from your behind with his right hand, left hand ruffling your son's hair. You placed a light kiss to his face or his beard since he has a full beard. No matter how you wanted him to make it shorter a bit, he does not listen to you.
"Welcome home my love. Are you hungry? We are making a salad for dinner. And i cooked-"
"No i am not hungry yet, i ate in the training center." Josko turned his gaze to Y/S/N. He took his hand away from you and replaced both of his hands on Y/S/N's shoulders, squeezed them lighly.
"Did you help your mom big boy?" You finished the cutting meantime, poured what you chopped into the bowl.
"I washed the tomatoes, right mom?" and he started to wait for your approval.
"Yes he did." you washed the knife and chopping board. After you dried your hands, you turned back to them while leaning your back to counter. Y/S/N was still on top of ladder. You smiled with your full teeth to your husband.
"Welcome again." You gave Josko a hug. Tighter this time, warmer, caressed his back with your palms, placed a deep kiss on his neck. "What is this for?" asked Josko with a giggly voice. While you were still sticking to each other's arms, you gave him an answer.
"I wanted to give you a proper hug, like how you deserve." You guys started to swing left and right without realizing it until your son interrupted. He came down the ladder while you were hugging and started to trying seperate you two. He began to push you from each other along with little hits.
"Mooooom! Let's watch tv together. Mooom." You both turned your gazes to him, letting go of arms.
"What are you doing Y/S/N?" you talked back to him with a firm voice. He repeated his question, completely neglecting yours. Josko answered him with a cool tone this time.
"Go to living room we are coming after you." Your son waited for your answer but you did not say anything.
"I said go Y/S/N." Josko snapped his hands towards living room. He listened to his father's words. You felt a bit sad, he kinda looked broken by his father's words yet he has been acting unmanageable for a few days. Fussing with you, trying to delay bedtime, always wants to eat with you and sit next to you, clinging to your legs.
"I do not know why he behaves like that. He was not like this before. It's like he is a baby. Even babies are easier. Remember, he was sleeping most of the day, does nothing just sleep?" Josko pushed his hair back, directed his dark brown eyes to yours.
"Yeah i remember. Sleep, eat, poop, sleep, eat, poop. We wanted him to grow up that time." He caressed your upper arm. "Uhm, i remember you reading a book about child development, maybe there is the answer. Some crisis period, 2 year old syndrome maybe?"
"2 year old syndrome? Aren't we passed that? He is three now Josko."
"I don't know, we should find that book. Or surf on the parenting forums?" You nodded to his words and went to the living room together.
While you three were resting on the sofa, watching an animated cartoon Y/S/N picked, a deal has been made. Your son wanted to sleep with you tonight. Just you by the way, he asked you not Josko. You guys were keen on the decision that no kids in the bed. All of the documanteries you have watched, books you have read, conversations you had with other parents said the same thing: no kids in the parent's bed. This is something that negatively affects not only parents but also children's development. However, 3 year-old insisted to much, eyes filled with tears, so you guys agreed on after he falls asleep, Josko will take him to his bed.
********************************************************
Your morning started with sobbing. As you felt a breath on your face and some hairs getting in your nose, you woke up. You looked at your son in the daze of sleep. He placed his head on your chest, the wetness on his cheek made you shiver. You slid in a little more to prevent him from falling off the edge of the bed and continued to sleep by hugging him.
When you opened your eyes, you realized that the sun had already risen. You turned your head to the right and saw your husband who is looking to his phone. When he felt your gaze, he put the phone aside and turned to you, leaned on his elbow and winked to you following with a wide smile. You smiled back at him.
"Good morning moja ljubav (my love)."
"Dobro jutro draga (good morning darling)." He pointed Y/S/N with his eyes and head in a playful way. His curls moved cause of his head movements pointing him.
"He came in the middle of the night, i think he cried so i welcomed him." You looked over him, fixed the duvet so he does not get cold. Right that time a lightbulb appeared in front if your eyes. You turned to Josko suddenly and cleared your mind with a ear piercing sound.
"Oedipus!" Once the words came out of your mouth, you had to check on your son if he woke up or not.
"Sorry, this might be Oedipus complex. You know that right? Freud?" It was as if all the question marks had disappeared from his mind. He threw himself to bed, smiling widely.
"Well do i need to compete with him? What do you think? Stop touching you when he is near?"
His left hand started to caress your abdomen under the duvet, fingers stopped when he put them inside your pajamas. "Look, he is invading our bed." Your husband's fingers were resting on your lower, feeling his warmth. You answered him while your son was waking up, throwing off the duvet.
"I don't think so."
When your son woke up and sat on the bed, Josko took his hands off you. You guys said good morning to him and he gave his answer by lying top of your body. He tried to push his father away along with murmuring "I don't want him."
Josko grabbed him by his waist and pulled him. Now Y/S/N was under his dad's imposing body.
"What is that? You don't want me?" Y/S/N nodded his head yes.
"Well i am your father so you are stuck with me for your whole life."
"No! You are not my father!"
Now you've joined their childish conversation. "Honey, he is your father. You have to trust me."
"Yes, we should trust her."
"Should?! You should trust me?" You slapped your husband's shoulder lightly, making him laugh.
"Hey, kid is here. You are being a bad example." You got out of bed and tried to knock him over. He resisted you at first but then gave up. Right now he was lying under you, your son was also sitting on his legs. You guys began to tickling him, Y/S/N was enjoying it, you held back a little, so he could share a pleasurable moment with his father.
You watched them with admiration, you were so lucky to have them in your life. More than the rising sun, they were the real light in your life. And your husband, Josko, handled the whole situation calmly, did not mistreat your son even once. How lucky you are to have them with you.
#josko gvardiol#joško gvardiol#josko gvardiol fluff#josko gvardiol imagine#josko gvardiol x reader#footballer imagine#footballer blurb#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#fanfic#footballer angst#man city
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Dog has a swollen lymph node. Just one for now. Which means her cancer is getting worse already. The longer this goes on, the more detached I feel from reality.
#I've been barely eating for over a week now and don't feel it#all the money i have is going towards her. i have enough body fat to survive without eating properly for a while.#but I'm just not hungry because nothing feels real right now#she's been breathing with more difficulty the past couple days too so i know the tumor on her tongue is getting larger#she's been whining so much too. like way more than she ever has.#and the prednisone has increased her appetite by so much that she's eating almost double what she normally would#she's skipped eating in the morning almost her whole life. don't know why. she's just a picky bitch like that.#but now she wants extra food in thd morning and snacks during the day and extra food at night#i was worried her food would go to waste after she died but goddamn#it definitely will be eaten plus some at this rate#she seems so normal. but i know she's getting worse every day and probably just doesn't want to bother me.#that's the worst thing about dogs. they don't want to bother you.#she's so opinionated when it comes to things she wants to eat or play with. but she's never let me know when she was in pain.#the only times she has are emergency vet visit times#like when my ex broke her tail and she kept putting her butt in my face to tell me shit was fucked up#or another time when her gut bacteria somehow got out of whack and she shat bright red blood all over my house#or when she broke a claw so bad it damaged the bone underneath#anything minor and i have to find it on my own#she's extra spoiled right now#i never tell her to stop unless she's doing something potentially dangerous#like yeah. let's sniff that same spot on the same bush you smell 8x a day for ten minutes girl.#you look hungry. have some peanuts or freetos or cotton candy.#you want snacks even though you just had snacks? bitch. have some more.#you want to sleep in my spot on the bed? thats ok. I'll go to the othef sidd where i don't have my cpap. get comfy.#i feel bad denying her anything when i know she only has a set amount of experiences left#there's a finite amount of sniffs she can snorf or food to be fed and i know it's pretty limited.#and then i get days like today where i don't even really start working until the time I'd normally be getting home#and that enrages me like little else can do because it's taking away from time with the only living thing that's real to me#except the longer i have knowing she's dying the less 'here' i feel. which makes her seem less real.#and i hate it. but i deny myself pain by pretending shit isn't real until it isn't. and then there's no more pain.
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i was just sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast, having greek yogurt with grape nuts - which i thought was perfectly normal - and my mom cam in and with complete sincerity told me that i needed to have some fruit with it because otherwise i was basically eating plain sugar. am i going insane here
#boink#i went grocery shopping for her the other day and apparently i got the wrong yogurt bc it has too much sugar and fat in it#idk#anyway she got mad at me for eating yogurt the other day too#i had had one spoon of it after stirring it up out of the fridge#and she got all prickly and asked if i ever check the serving size on food#and that i should pay attention to how much i was eating and put it in a bowl instead of eating it out of the container#which i was notable not doing#anyway#she also got upset when she noticed it was the wrong kind and said that i needed to be careful eating it because it's basically candy#and THEN when i got upset abt this she said not to get mad at her for caring#which#ok#but i just#god#i dont know#im the fattest person in my family#when i was a kid one of the traits that i sort of adopted bc people said it abt me was that i was 'always hungry'#even though that wasnt true#that im not picky and ill eat anything which /again/ is not true#and now that im older i can just tell. that people look at me and think i'm gluttonous. like it's a sin right#and i know especially with my family that that's what theyre thinking about me#i already have so much guilt about wanting things and enjoying things#like this year at school i feel like i was doing so well with that kind of thing#and i gained weight of course i did of course#and thats shitty and whatever the fuck but also i didnt hate myself for it a lot of the time?#and now im back in my house and its just like. i dont know#i need to work through things one step at a time#and i just cant#i mean not with everyone watching
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I have to eat but I'm too tired 😭 sucks
#I'm not even hungry even though i should be given I've barely eaten#I'm too tired to be hungry!!!#I've been barely eating a lot these days#mostly because money. but also because at the end of the day when i finally get the chance to really eat it's always like this#im with the kids for 12 hours straight pretty much. i get to eat a little bit during their nap but more of a snack than a meal#because i gotta ration my meals. if i eat meals 2 times a day I'll run out quickly and then have none for the next week or so#maybe i should have bigger meals in the middle of the day but there's not always time so night is best but . tired#woe the misery#I'm going to try to force something down my throat anyway though
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.
#This shouldn't be a surprise but seriously no one actually cares about my survival yes I've asked for help why would I get help#I'm functionally nocturnal and I keep staying up for like 48 hours and then sleeping for a day and I never know where I am#Or what day it is or if it's morning or night#Normal humans eat three meals a day and snacks right I think I maybe eat a snack every other day#I just don't feel hunger and my body hurts and cooking is so much effort I don't have#Weed used to help me be able to eat easily but now everything is just so hard and no food in house n cant go to store bc of ptsd too scary#I keep telling people when they ask that I am doing badly and need help but they as always just tell me to go to the store and buy food#Because it should be easy for a normal person!!! That would be such helpful and kind advice if I were normal#But I am not I am severely sick and traumatized and driving hurts so bad and stores give me panic attacks#Seriously if literally nobody cares about my struggling why not just be euthanized at this point?#This problem is so inconvenient to everyone and I have done all I can to convince people that I'm worth the inconvenience but :(#If I were worth talking to or visiting or helping people would have done that and I would be fine but I am not and that's okay#I genuinely don't mind being a husk at all#I'm just weirdly sad about it right now maybe because I think I feel hungry but genuinely I can't tell thanks autism#I also haven't been able to do my t shot in like three or four weeks I keep trying but I literally can't get the needle in :((#I imagine less testosterone in my system also makes me tired and lose my appetite#I'm so fucked up and nobody cares that I start my day at 8pm and am active and reply to emails and shit at 4am#Why would anyone notice that first of all but still. I would notice.#When even strangers are struggling I notice and I will do anything for anyone but it's selfish upon selfish to expect it back I understand#I keep looking for arfid and ed affirmations to help me but I can't find anything good#Genuinely . what the fuck#Just fucking need to be someone's dog feed me walk me put me in a cage teach me how to be better and treat me like I don't know shit#Because I don't I'm so stupid I can't even feed myself I'm dying please help me
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i love being that one friend with a very chaotic personality that gives horrible advice on purpose (then gives some actually good advice) and offers to murder people for you but i also. would like to be taken more seriously. in a "please stop using me as just comedy i am a real person and don't find the jokes you make at my expense (is that the word?) funny" way
#this hasn't been happening as often. bc we're on vacation and i don't see people as ofyen#i like to stay home. i love my home. and i love the loudness of my family but not the loudness of the rest of the world yk??#but uh#today my friend came to my house#and she has this joke#it's basically about how my siblings are “basically blessed by aphrodite” while i'm. ugly. compared to them#and just ugly in general#she doesn't say ugly but she does imply it. how does she do it?? by pointing out every fucking flaw my face has#“haha your head is egg shaped”#“lol you have a big forehead”#“you look like you have one big eyebrow!”#“your eye bags make you look like a raccoon”#<- this one hit me. harder than others bc like. that's smth ik and it's smth i'm trying to work on#i'm like this because i don't sleep much and because i spend too much time with my phone#i'm like this because i eat too much when i'm not even hungry and i refuse to exercise#and i'm trying to WORK ON IT.#and she just. laughs. at the consequences of all the stuff that's been actually harming me#and i KNOW that i should talk to her about this but HOW#how tf do i do that#it's not a “i don't want to lose her” thing it's more of a “i don't want any more conflict”#my 2022 and my 2023 have been so full of fights and just. pure negativity#and it was all bc of my friends. bc they're toxic and too stupid to see that they're wrong sometimes#and everytime i talked to one of them they would tell me more about the drama between them and some of my other friends and i HATED it sm#i'm flooding the tags w this cause it's. idk i wouldn't want it to be the first thing ppl see if they find this post#also i need to go to sleep it's almost 4am#avis talks#vent
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they should invent food I don't have to make
#i'm hungry but i'm Not cooking rn. not even making a sandwich. no#and i don't buy like frozen lasagna or some shit because it's too expensive when you consider how much you're getting#and the cost of just making it yourself#why am i an ingredient only household why do i not have snacks why are things expensive :(#wait i have fruit. i could eat fruit#rayrambles
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cannot express enough how happy having visible fat makes me
#i have rolls and folds and they actually make me so goddamn happy it's unbelievable#my stomach no longer literally goes concave when I'm hungry#i have more energy and strength bc my body isn't literally eating my muscles to survive#I HAVE THE ABILITY TO GAIN STRENGTH BACK. like i genuinely thought that was off the table permanently#like i thought I'd never get the opportunity to build muscles bc of how often my body had to eat them all to survive#my bones hurt less!!!!!!!! I'm not slamming my skeleton against things!!!!!!! i have cushioning!!!!!!!#i can get injections in my arms again!!!! my arms aren't too fucking small for vaccinations!!!#i feel so much better about my body and about myself#ok mild side tangent but. when i was young i was told twink and bear were exclusively gay MAN terms so i couldn't use them#(fuck that idea. use whatever labels make you joyful)#but i DESPERATELY wanted to be a twink so bad. i called myself a butch for a while bc i was a skinny masc 'girl' but ive always been a twink#and back then i kept thinking 'i wish i could be a twink that grows into a bear by age 40'#but i always thought bear was off the table because of course i could never get fat what am i thinking#but like.#holy shit. i might actually be able to be a whole ass bear. i have facial and chest hair now. I'm not Fat but I'm getting fatter#i have another 20 or so years to get there. i could do it.#i think noticing that I'm getting fatter gave me the same type of joy that noticing my voice dropping or getting my first wheelchair did#it also oddly makes the 'coping with the fact that whoever we called the core/original of this system is long gone' a bit easier. lmao#the fact that we've looked so different over the course of our life#Bee (the 'core' i guess) doesn't even have the same natural hair colour as the rest of us
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Does everyone forget instantly how healthy feels like the minute you get sick, like a minor cold?
Like, my throat hurts a bit and I'm in bed thinking
This is my life now, my throat will always hurt, my throat had always hurt
#Is this neurotypical behavior?#Like I'm probably reading too much into this#But maybe that's a reason why I never go to the doctor when I'm sick#I'm like either it will come to pass or it's inevitable#Even for bigger things like my chronic migraines I take so much time to take my meds because I can't remember how I felt before it hurted#And even hunger#This is my life I'm hungry like nooo you could eat you know???#Can someone tell me please if I'm neurodivergent or not#i'm so dramatic
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was i stupid to love you?
in which a lingering glance at Rossi’s wedding threatens your engagement.
content: angst, 4.8k, takes place right after truth or dare (14x15), a lot of dialogue, mention of prison arc, emotional distress, relationship conflict, not proofread a/n: when was the last time you saw me write angst? exactly. this is inspired by malcolm & marie bc i really like the idea of having an argument while moving around the house (also disclaimer i have nothing against JJ i just like being dramatic)
The lock clicks open. The door swings with a creak. Your heels tap against the hardwood in a hollow rhythm that feels almost too loud. There’s a tightness in your chest, that prickling behind your eyes, and a familiar ache pressing up from the pit of your stomach, churning into a faint nausea that you try to ignore. You’re trying to hold it back.
Not here.
Not now.
Spencer doesn’t even look up. The keys slip from his hand with a soft clink as they hit the side table, and he turns away with a quiet sigh that reverberates deep in your bones.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, tossing a glance toward the kitchen. “Think we could order something?”
You trail after him, the sharp click of your heels echoing as you step onto the kitchen tile. “We just came back from a wedding.”
He’s rifling through the cupboard, his fingers brushing over the mismatched mugs and neatly stacked plates before he pulls down two glasses. “I barely ate anything at the reception.”
You watch him, biting back a response as memories flicker to mind. The slice of cake he’d poked at absentmindedly, washing it down with sips of water instead of real food.
It wasn’t hunger he seemed focused on tonight. No, it was his quiet glances across the room you keep on catching from the corner of your eye, and that conversation he’d had at the bar. The one where his posture softened, his gaze so intent you’d found yourself staring at the back of his head, trying not to read too much into it—and obviously failing.
“Why didn’t you eat?”
He shrugs, his back still to you as he fills the glasses with water. “I don’t know,” he says, sounding almost absent, like it’s something he hasn’t really thought about. “I didn’t get around to it, I guess.”
The muscles in your jaw ticks as you bite the inside of your cheeks.
Spencer turns, offering you a glass. “I was thinking of Chinese, or maybe we can check if that Thai place you like is still open.”
You take the glass from him, barely sparing it a glance before setting it back down on the counter. “Whatever you want is fine.”
A subtle crease appears between his brows. “You sure? You usually have some opinion when it comes to food.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You don’t want to eat anything?”
You suppress a sigh. "No. I'm tired."
The soft amber of his eyes dims slightly as he studies you. There's a flicker of uncertainty passing through them before he nods. “Alright,” he concedes. “We don’t have to order anything.”
A faint, humorless laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It tastes bitter, a little unfair, but it slips out before you can pull it back, “You don’t have to change your plans on my account, Spencer.”
“I’m not changing any plans,” he responds. “I’m just making sure you have something to eat in case you’re hungry.”
Your shoes dig uncomfortably into your feet. You shift your weight, starting to pace a few steps back and forth. "It's dinner, you don't have to check on me for every little thing. Do whatever you like."
He blinks, looking genuinely perplexed. "What are you saying? I was trying to be considerate."
"Right. Considerate.”
There’s an unmistakable bite in your tone.
“Yes, because we like doing these things together," he observes, watching your uneasy pacing. "Am I missing something here?”
You shake your head. “Nope.”
"Honey."
The term of endearment lands softly, slipping from his lips like he believes it has the power to melt whatever tension has suddenly crept between you. But it only tightens the knot building in your stomach. It’s stirring the words you’re trying to hold back, tangling them somewhere between your chest and throat.
He calls your name this time, his eyes narrowing into sharp lines. “You’ve been awfully quiet on our way home, and now you’re… honestly, I don’t know why you're acting this way.” His voice dips with a tinge of exasperation. "What’s this really about?"
The words you’ve been biting back feel like a stack of stones in your throat, rising up, up, up, each one pressed tighter by the gnawing nausea in your stomach. You can feel them gathering, and before you know it, they tumble out messily.
“I’m just saying, don’t let me hold you back from getting what you want. I wouldn’t want to stop you from anything—or, god forbid," you add, letting your gaze drift away as if a little distance might soften the blow, “anyone.”
The soft, almost stifled inhale he takes is audible. You don’t even have to look up to see his expression shifting. You’ve known him long enough to recognize the way his shoulders tense, the way his breathing slows as he processes your words. You know his reaction by heart, yet right now, you wonder if saying this was a mistake, if this is the start of something neither of you can take back.
His fingers twitching at his side slip into your line of sight. He's angry.
Maybe this isn’t the time to start a fight.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Your heels click softly as you turn.
“Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything,” you mutter, already moving toward the bedroom that’s been yours, too, for the past year. Although it feels strange tonight, like a space that belongs to someone else. A life you’re not entirely sure you belong in.
“No." His voice is somewhere behind you. “I think you should explain to me what you mean by that.”
You don’t respond, choosing instead to sink onto the edge of the bed, hands fumbling as you try to undo the straps of your heels. You twist the stubborn leather with more force. His shadow fills the doorway.
“Honey.”
Not again.
You decide to ignore him.
“Is there something you’d like to say to me?”
You tug harder at the strap. “No.”
He doesn’t buy it. “You’re clearly bothered by something.”
You shake your head, fingers still fumbling, the leather cutting against your ankle with each pull. “I’m just tired. Can we leave it at that?”
There’s a flicker of frustration in his gaze now, a crease forming between his brows as he studies you. He moves into the room. You barely have the chance to react before he lowers himself, bending one knee to the floor as he reaches toward the strap you’ve been fighting with. “Here, let me—”
“Don’t,” you interrupt, pulling your foot away. “I can do it myself.”
“I know you can. But let me—”
“I can do it myself!”
Your heartbeat thuds loud in your ears, each pulse feeding the frustration that’s wound its way up from your chest. He rises slowly, not a word passing his lips, but the tension radiates off him like heat. He’s close enough that his warmth presses against your skin, although it’s not the kind you usually find comforting. It’s almost suffocating.
You turn your focus back to the stubborn strap, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggle to grip it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him slipping off his shoes, one after the other, the soft thuds barely audible over the rush of your own heartbeat. He pulls off his suit jacket, carefully smoothing the crumpled fabric before hanging it in the closet. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to let it go�� until his gaze drifts back to you.
You can tell his patience is fraying, and you’re proven right when he asks again, “What did you mean by that? When you said you wouldn’t want to stop me from anyone… what was that supposed to mean?”
You finally manage to tug the strap loose. The heel drops to the floor with a muted thump. “It was nothing.”
“I don’t think you’d say something like that if it was nothing.”
Your focus shifts to the other shoe. “Just drop it, Spencer.”
"How am I supposed to drop it when you're implying... whatever it is you're implying?"
You keep your eyes down, wrestling with the strap in silence. He cuts through the quiet before it has a chance to grow.
“Don’t do that,” he says. “Don’t brush it off like it’s nothing when it clearly means something. I need to know why you said that.”
You kick off the other heel and meet his gaze for the first time since you walked into the room. “You really want to know?”
He reaches for his bow tie, yanking it loose it with one hard pull. “Do I want to know why you’re giving me this attitude right now? Yes. Yes, I do.”
Oh. So this is going to be that kind of fight.
You hadn’t expected it to go here. Fights with Spencer are very rare, usually more a clash of misunderstandings that you both laugh about with limbs tangled between sheets by the time you’ve made peace. But seeing him standing there with the tie hanging loosely around his neck and his five o’clock shadow casting an even darker line along his jaw, it hits you differently.
This is real. And this time, you don’t know if brushing it off will fix anything.
“Fine, let’s talk about it then.” You rise from the bed, tension carrying you to your feet. “Emily’s speech tonight.”
His brow furrows, not quite a scowl, more a cautious crease as he processes your tone. “Emily’s speech? What about it?”
“What do you remember of it?”
There’s a slight pause, and you can tell he's clearly caught off guard by the question. “She mentioned how Rossi and Krystal are twin flames."
“Right. Two souls that are always meant to be together.”
His face is still marked by confusion, but there’s something else creeping in. A subtle tightening around his eyes tells you he’s starting to piece it together. “I don’t understand what that has to do with—”
“You looked at JJ the second Emily made that speech,” you cut him off. “Spencer, you didn’t even spare a glance at your future wife because you were too busy making eyes at the woman who’s apparently been in love with you all these years.”
There. You said it. The words that have twisted around your insides all evening are finally out. And maybe they taste a little bitter, but at least they're not choking you anymore.
A second passes, then another, and by the time the fifth heartbeat ticks by, he’s standing there with his hand on his hip.
“That’s not what happened."
“Then what was it?” you demand. "I sat beside you the whole day, you didn't even try to hide it."
“That’s not—you’re twisting things.” His hand moves through his hair, fingers digging in as his curls tumble forward onto his forehead. “And you know what happened that night wasn’t real. It was a forced confession. She was under duress, we both were. JJ and I are just friends.”
You arch an eyebrow. “You look at all your friends like that?”
His hand drops to his side. "I don't know what else you want me to say. JJ said what she did because she thought we might die. She has a family, and a husband who she loves. We already went through this, I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue again."
“Maybe I wouldn’t be bringing this up if you didn’t look at her tonight like you were ready to break up that marriage yourself.”
A flash of shock and anger crosses his features.
“That’s not fair,” he snaps, his voice sharper than you’ve heard in a while. “Do you really think I’d disregard everything I have with you because of a look? Because of a history that has never gone anywhere?”
“I don’t know what to think. It's not like it happened just once, I saw you looking at her the same way at the bar." You step forward, accidentally kicking your discarded heel as you move. "What were you two talking about, anyway?”
He lets out a tight breath. “She was checking in on me. She… we haven’t talked much since then.”
The corners of your mouth pull down. “Mhm. Another round of truth or dare?”
“I can’t believe you’re using that against me." His hair flops forward as he shakes his head, falling messily over his brow. "If there were anything unresolved with JJ, I would’ve said something. But I didn’t, because there’s nothing there."
“And yet, she’s always been an important part of your life, hasn't she?"
He tilts his head. "What are trying to say now?"
Your tongue darts out, briefly brushing your lips. You're not sure you should say it, but it feels like a door has swung open—a door to words that have been waiting for their moment.
You take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can.
“When you were in prison, you put her on your visiting list ahead of almost everyone else. Doesn’t that say something about where she stands with you?”
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand over the back of his neck.
“She’s part of the team,” he says, as if he’s trying to spell out something he’s already explained a dozen times. "There were strict rules, I already told you that only a handful of people were allowed to visit. It wasn’t like I could just put anyone on the list.”
“But you could’ve put me on there!”
The familiar burn of tears prickles at the edges of your eyes, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall. An explanation or protest is poised on his lips, but you’re already moving, closing the distance with a single, decisive step. A finger lands on his chest.
“I was your girlfriend, Spencer. Were you that determined to keep me out? Was the thought of seeing me really so unbearable? Do you even understand how hard it was to sit at home, knowing you were locked up, feeling completely helpless? Do you have any idea how much I hated myself day after day because I couldn’t do anything to help you?”
Your lips quiver. You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.
“I was out here, just… waiting. Wondering if you were okay, if they were treating you alright, if you even had someone to talk to. And meanwhile, she’s there, with you. Every single time, she’s the one who gets to be by your side.”
Your nail digs into the fabric of his shirt.
“So forgive me if I can’t just let that go. Because when it mattered, it felt like you didn’t want me to be there for you. And now… now I don’t even know if you need me the way you seem to need her.”
Your breathing turns shallow, each inhale catching in your chest. The tears you’ve been holding back are dangerously blurring your vision. You swallow the knot lodged in your throat.
“I need a minute.”
Without another word, you turn and walk out of the room, leaving him standing there in stunned silence. You slip back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you finally reach for the glass of water that’s been sitting there untouched. You take a sip, barely feeling the cool water on your lips, when you hear his footsteps behind you.
“You think I don’t want you in my life?” he demands. “You think I somehow need her more than I need you?”
You set the glass down. “What part of ‘I need a minute’ do you not understand?”
“You really expect me to wait quietly after you unloaded every doubt you’ve ever had about us?”
You life your chin up. “Yes, I do. I need space to think right now.”
“What more do you want to think about when you’ve already convinced yourself that I’m always going to fall short? Is it so hard to believe that you’re the one I want?”
“You want to know why it’s so damn hard to believe?” You turn towards him. “Because every time I try to let this go, there’s always something. A confession. That—that not-so-subtle look. And when those things happen, it reminds me that I’m not as close to you as she is. I’m fucking tired of feeling like I’m fighting for space in your life.”
“Do you think I want you to feel like that? Do you think I’d go through everything we’ve been through if you didn’t matter to me?”
“Then explain to me why I wasn’t on that list!” you cry out. “Explain to me why, in one of the hardest times of your life, you couldn’t make space for me?”
“Because I was trying to protect you!”
A heavy, dreadful silence falls between you. He takes a step back, his eyelids fluttering shut briefly, and when he opens them again, there’s a softness in his gaze that mirrors the gentleness now threading through his voice.
“I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, and maybe it never will, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you seeing me like that. Living through it was hard enough, but having you there, seeing me so helpless… It would have crushed me. I didn’t want that to be your memory of me.”
His Adam’s apple dips as he swallows, a quick, almost anxious movement you’ve witnessed countless times.
“And when JJ came to see me,” he continues, “the way the inmates looked at her, the things they said after she left… it was disgusting. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let that happen to you. I couldn’t live with thought of you being subjected to that because of me.”
You lower your head with a sigh. “I don’t care if they looked. I don’t care what they would’ve thought.”
“But I care,” he fires back, taking a step forward. “Because you mean more to me than anyone. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and maybe I didn't handle it right, maybe I made the wrong call... but it was only because I—" His voice drops into an even more gentle note. "Because I love you."
Your heart stumbles, an uneven beat that feels almost bruised, pounding hard against your ribs.
"I-I love you so much. More than I know how to put into words." The ache in your chest sharpens as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. "I don't like fighting with you. I hate it, actually. I hate seeing you look at me like this."
You also hate the way he’s looking at you. There’s a depth to his annoyingly pretty eyes that makes it impossible to hold up your defenses without feeling them crumble. You let your eyes flutter closed.
“Why don’t we… call it a night?” He suggests. “Let’s lie down. We don’t have to talk about this now.”
The blackness behind your eyelids does little to quiet your mind. Nor does his voice. Or his touch. Instead of offering peace, his presence throws every glance, every moment of tension from tonight into sharper relief.
You draw in a breath, trying to find some comfort in his palms against your cheeks. Yet, even this can’t smooth away the doubt that’s settled in. With a resigned sigh, you release the breath you’ve been holding along with the words that have been pressing at the back of your throat.
“You haven’t explained it to me.”
The shadows in his gaze seem to deepen when you open your eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve been going in circles, but you haven’t explained to me what happened tonight,” you say quietly. “Why did you look at her, Spencer?”
His thumb absently strokes your cheek in a way that feels more hesitant than reassuring.
“Be honest with me,” you press. “Was there a part of you, even the tiniest part, that still wanted something with her? Some small part of you that… wondered what it might be like?”
The silence between you presses in from all sides, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled ticking of a clock on the wall. It’s the kind of quiet that sharpens even the smallest sounds, yet his lack of response feels like the loudest thing of all.
You pull back from him with an incredulous laugh.
“Unbelievable.” The word barely makes it past your lips, then louder as you start to move, pacing the length of the apartment. “Unbelievable.”
“Wait,” he says, trailing after you, “I didn’t even say anything.”
You stop short by the couch and whip around to face him.
“You didn’t need to! You—you hesitated," you stammer, searching his face for any flicker of denial, but it’s there, plain as day, that split-second of doubt you caught. “That was already an answer.”
He inches closer. A hand closes in on you. “Please—”
You flinch, pulling back, and every muscle in your body tightens. “Don’t. Don’t touch me right now.”
His hand falls to his side. “Please… let me explain."
You watch his hand drop, fingers twitching like they’re not sure if they should retreat or reach out again, but he keeps them there, hovering in some invisible line you’ve drawn. He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, and for a split second, you almost feel bad for him.
Almost.
A bitter sort of smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "So now you want to explain?"
He takes that as permission, and his voice comes in low, almost cautious. "When I first started at the BAU, I had… maybe a crush. A passing thing, barely anything, really. But that was fourteen years ago.” His hand scrubs through his hair in a frustrated sweep. “Fourteen years."
Your brows pull into a frown. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”
“Because it was nothing,” he says, almost too quickly. “I was young, it didn’t matter. I didn’t think it was worth bringing up.”
“Oh, I get it now. All those old feelings came rushing back the night she confessed, didn’t they?”
He mirrors your frown, a visible line of tension etching itself between his brows as he protests, “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?” you press. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you’re caught between us because some part of you is still hung up on what might’ve been with her."
He shifts uncomfortably, and you notice the muscles in his jaw clenching the moment his gaze falters, dipping away for just a heartbeat before he looks back at you.
“It’s not that I don’t know what I want,” he starts to explain. “I didn’t expect her to say those things, and, yes, it threw me off for a moment. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking back, or that I want her. I want you.”
You shake your head, feeling a tired sort of frustration settle over you, and walk over to the couch. The soft cushions give slightly beneath you as you sink down.
“If you really wanted me, this wouldn’t be happening. You wouldn’t have let her get into your head like that. And now, you expect to believe that none of it meant anything?”
He’s quick to follow, closing the distance in a few tense steps. “It’s not—” His hands flex open and close at his sides. “You’re acting like one single look tonight is enough to decide I’m not committed to you. Do you really think I’d let some confession I didn’t even ask for get in the way of what we have?”
“It’s not just about that single look. It’s the way she could say something and suddenly, you’re pulled back to something you swore you’d put behind you. How am I supposed to feel secure when she still has that power over you?”
“And what am I supposed to do, then? Apologize for things I don’t even feel anymore?”
You flinch at the sharpness in his voice. A low, frustrated noise rumbles in his chest when you don’t respond.
“You’re always going to question me no matter what I say, aren’t you?"
You glance over at him, catching the disheveled strands of hair falling over his forehead, and it pulls you back to that night he came home after that dreadful night. He’d walked in looking worn in a way you’d never seen before, his whole posture weighted down as if he was carrying more than just the fear of being held hostage.
You remember sitting with him on this same couch, fingers brushing his, and asking what was bothering him.
JJ said she loved me.
Your heart lurched, a quick, quiet ache that you tried to swallow down. Really?
Don’t worry. It’s not true.
But with that same haunted look in his eyes right now, you can’t help but wonder if it really was just a well-intentioned lie.
“One glance and you’re accusing me of things that are never going to happen,” he starts again. “Do you really think so little of me? After everything we’ve shared, you really think I’d betray you like that?”
In true honesty, you don’t believe he would ever cross that line. But the doubts still linger, fed by those small hesitations, the moments when his eyes seem somewhere else. It’s not that you think he’d betray you. It’s that a part of him might still be holding onto something he won’t let you see.
“It’s like you don’t know me at all.”
Now those words you might actually believe.
“Maybe I don’t,” you say quietly, eyes drifting to the ring on your finger. You twist it absently, remembering the night he proposed. How he’d stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing as he tried to make the moment perfect but ended up rambling in that endearing, nervous way of his. You’d laughed, reassured him that it was exactly right, that you didn’t need grand gestures. All you needed was him.
And yet, you don’t think he needs you as much you need him.
A hollow ache settles around your hand as you slip the ring off.
“What are you doing?”
You stare down at the gold band in your palm, blinking back the sting of tears.
“Tell me what you’re doing.”
Panic. Desperation. There’s a sudden rush of melancholy in his voice, a heaviness that wasn’t there a moment ago.
You swallow the lump in your throat. “I don’t know,” you whisper. “I—I don’t know anything right now.”
His face crumples, and in a sudden, almost instinctive movement, he drops down to his knees.
“No, no, you do know me. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Isn’t this—” he stops, then dips his head, trying to catch your gaze. “Isn’t that what couples do? They argue, they mess things up… but they work through it, right? Right?”
You look down, feeling the cool weight of the ring pressing into your skin.
“Spencer…” you begin. “I trust you. I do, and I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t. But… I need to feel secure. I… I need to know that I don’t have to wonder or worry about where I stand. I never thought you’d be the one to make me doubt that.”
There’s a sharp ache in your chest.
“I didn’t think it could hurt this much. Not from you.”
Your pulse ring in your ear.
“I can’t—” The words catch in your throat, a stinging burn rising as you force them out. “I can’t be your wife when I’m constantly questioning if I have all of you. When I feel like… there’s always a part of you that isn’t mine.”
“I’m yours, honey. I’m always yours.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
There’s a slight falter in his voice. “Don’t—please don’t do this—”
“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”
He falls silent, and for a moment, the only sound is the rough, uneven rhythm of both your breaths filling the space between you. Then, like something inside him finally cracks open, he sinks down, pressing his forehead against your lap. The sudden weight of him forces a broken sob from your throat.
“Please,” he begs, fingers clutching at your sides. His chin presses deep into your thigh. “Tell me how to fix this. I can’t— I can’t lose you.”
“Spence…”
“I love you,” he blurts out, the words tumbling from him in a rush. “I love you.”
But what is love, really? Is it just a word people reach for when they’ve run out of things to say, a way to patch over bruised hearts and broken promises? Or should it feel like something more solid, something that doesn’t leave you questioning or aching? You can’t even tell anymore.
You wonder, too, if maybe you’ve been wrong all along. If this feeling in your chest isn’t love but something dressed up as it, something that fills the gaps while slowly hollowing you out. Because here you are, clinging to a love that somehow makes you feel like you’re both needed and unseen. Everything and nothing all at once.
You feel like a fool.
“I want to go to bed.”
His head lifts from your lap, a flash of surprise darting across his face, as though he hadn’t expected you to say anything at all, let alone that. “Yeah, okay, let’s go to bed. We’ll… we’ll figure this out in the morning.”
“I’d rather be alone.”
The words hit him visibly. His mouth opens, an argument forming there, but he catches himself, letting the silence stretch before he nods slowly.
“Then… I’ll stay out here. On the couch,” he offers softly. “Just… in case you need anything.”
A pang cuts through you at the thought of him stretched out on the couch, his legs too long, his shoulders folded in to fit the cramped space. But the idea of sharing a bed right now feels impossible.
You reach down, holding out the ring towards him.
“No,” he says firmly, gently pushing your hand away. “Don’t do that. This… it doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It just means we need time. That’s all.”
You’re not sure if your mind will change in the morning. The ring presses into your skin, but finally, you close your hand around it, nodding faintly before you peel away from him.
The tears start the moment the bedroom door clicks shut behind you. It spills over in a jagged, helpless cry that sounds nothing like you imagined heartbreak might sound. It’s messy, a kind of aching grief that feels too big for your chest, clawing its way out with no grace at all. You can practically hear how pathetic you sound, and yet you can’t seem to stop.
Even when the hem of your dress trails across the floor. Even when you finally collapse onto his side of the bed. There’s no stopping you. With the ring sitting cold in your hand, your tears keep coming, soaking into the pillow as you cling to the last trace of him woven into the sheets.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid fem!reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#angst#angst with no happy ending
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A Little Timid
Spencer Reid x Shy Female Reader WORD COUNT: 1100+
Summary: You bring Spencer something for dinner during a particularly stressful case. One thing, though—nobody else knows you exist.
Content Warning: Spencer is overworking himself and forgetting to eat, reader has a sister and a niece/nephew (not specified), pet names
────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────
You and Spencer have been dating for nearly three years, and throughout that time he's visited your workplace more times than you can count. Usually to spend your lunch breaks with you, sometimes just so he can sit and be in your company as you work.
Which your boss is completely fine with, for some reason unknown to you.
Oftentimes you find yourself wishing you could do the same for him, on the nights where he doesn't come home until stupidly late, but every time you bring up maybe bringing him lunch on your days off, he shoots you down entirely. Like a bird out of the sky, or some other stupid simile you can't be bothered trying to come up with.
It's quite different for him, being a federal agent and such, working with sensitive subjects and often in harsh environments, so you suppose it does make sense that he would want to keep you away from all that. Still, you can't help but feel a little hurt and slightly embarrassed every time he denies your requests.
And yet...
"You sound tired," you comment softly, stirring the pot of chicken soup in front of you.
"Mhm."
"Have you eaten anything yet?"
There's no response, which is answer enough for you.
"Lovey, you need to eat," you say with a sigh, putting down the spoon you were stirring with and lean back against the counter beside the stove.
"I know," he mumbles quietly.
You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, eyes turned down to the ground. "I'm making chicken soup, I could bring you some for dinner, if you'd like?" you suggest weakly. "And some of the bread I finished making earlier. You know, I could sit with you for a while."
Before he's even responded, you're bracing yourself for rejection.
"That would be nice," he sighs.
Immediately, the tension in your body melts away, a tiny smile making its way onto your face.
"You want me to bring one of those cinnamon rolls you like, too?"
"Yes please..." His voice is so quiet, you're sure he's practically falling asleep at his desk.
"Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes."
────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────
Spencer doesn't really think about much when he hangs up the phone. Only that he's really hungry right now, and that he really likes your chicken soup.
The fact that his coworkers don't even know you exist doesn't cross his mind once. Only when you're actually walking into the bullpen, does he realize he should've given them a bit of a heads up, because everyone is looking at you now.
No horrible looks, of course, they're only curious of who you are and why you're here, but you've never particularly liked people looking at you. It makes you feel all anxious and jittery.
Your eyes quickly scan the room (definitely taking note of all the people watching you) and when you finally find your target, a small smile makes it onto your face, despite the discomfort.
He pulls another chair over to his desk as you make your way over, walking just a little faster usual, and place one of those reusable supermarket bags in front of him.
"Hey there," you murmur, bringing his hand to your face so you can press a soft kiss to the back of it. This time, he doesn't even mention how many stupid pathogens can be passed through your hands.
"Beautiful girl," is all he says, quiet and uncharacteristically drowsy, as he reaches into the bag and pulls everything out. Two perfectly warm thermoses, a brown paper bag with some of your fresh bread inside, and two saran-wrapped cinnamon rolls that you've already heated.
You chuckle softly, taking your share of the food and offering him a hunk of warm bread.
Spencer bites off a chunk of the bread and really takes a look at you, now that you're distracted with your own soup. You're wearing a baby pink milkmaid dress, the same one you wore to your sisters baby shower last year, and a white cardigan with little flowers embroidered all over it.
He gifted you the plain cardigan, you were the one who added all the flowers and personal touches.
"I really appreciate this," he hums, finally opening the thermos of soup and spooning some of it into his mouth with one of the metal utensils you brought with you.
"I'm always happy to bring you food when you need it, lovey. Even when you don't necessarily need it, I'll come running," you say in a low voice, sipping your own soup straight from the thermos. "I wish you'd let me do it more. Even when you're not starving and sleep deprived."
He chuckles at the playful lilt in your voice, but knows you're actually being completely serious. "Maybe we can make this a more regular. On the nights I can't be at home—"
"And who might this be?" someone asks, appearing suddenly enough for you to jump a little.
You turn your head the smallest fraction to find another man leaning against Spencer's desk, a (seemingly permanent) smirk breaking through the tired, clouded expression everyone here is sporting.
"Uhm—hi—erm..."
You glance over at Spencer, who is, for the most part, paying no attention to the encounter, simply sipping on his soup and gnawing on his bread like he hasn't eaten in weeks.
"I'm Y/N," you manage, in a voice soft enough to bring serial killers to their knees (now there's an idea), wiping your hands on the fabric covering your thighs and sticking one of them out.
The man hums, eyes flicking between yourself and the man seated beside you. "I don't think Spencer's ever mentioned you before."
Your smile falters slightly, but doesn't disappear completely. "I'm his girlfriend," you say, "and I never really expected him to talk about me here. He said he wouldn't, anyway."
"Girlfriend?" he asks, as if it's the craziest thing he's ever heard. "You. Are Spencer's girlfriend? Spencer has a girlfriend?"
That seems to grab the aforementioned mans attention.
"Morgan. Is it really so hard to comprehend," he asks, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close—as close as he can, with the chairs in the way, "that I could find a beautiful woman to love me?"
Ah. Derek Morgan, that explains it.
"You know that's not what I mean," Morgan argues, the smile not leaving his face. "And now, if you don't mind, I'll be around. Telling everyone. That you've got a gorgeous girlfriend, and kept it from us."
Neither of you have a chance to argue before he's gone. You're honestly surprised he didn't ask exactly how long it's been, but you're sure he wouldn't have liked the answer, so you don't push it.
"...this is great soup, by the way. I love you."
You chuckle, red coloring your face. "Thanks. I love you, too, baby."
#spencer reid x girlfriend reader#spencer reid x bau reader#spencer reid oneshot#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid#shy reader#spencer reid x shy reader#spencer reid x shy girlfriend#spencer reid x shy girlfriend reader#spencer reid x you#enderlovez
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Oh, Baby | Part 1
Haikyuu men x pregnant!reader
Part 2 is here - after baby is born
Featuring: Miya Osamu, Kuroo Tetsurou, Kageyama Tobio, Sakusa Kiyoomi (~ 400 - 500 words each)
Most likely to be followed up at some point by scenes after baby is born because I have absolutely no chill
MIYA OSAMU
You pick at your dinner, trying your best to eat enough to satisfy Osamu. It's not that you aren't hungry, really. It's more that what you're hungry for isn't this. Osamu already worked hard to make it, though, so you'll make yourself content.
"What's wrong?" Osamu isn't fooled. He points at your plate with his chopsticks. "Isn't it good? I knew I shouldn't a' switched out the spices."
"No, it's good!" You insist quickly. "Really. I just - you're gonna think it's silly." You warn.
"Try me," He says, sitting back in his chair and watching you expectantly. You have no choice.
"I'm just really craving something in particular. Something different," You try to mask your disdain as you gesture at your plate. "I want onigiri."
"Really?" A smile breaks across his face. "Little guy wants onigiri, huh? Well that's not so bad. I can whip something up-" He's already out of his chair and poised to root in the fridge. "Whaddya want? We got tuna, umeboshi, or maybe..." He pauses to shuffle things around in the fridge in search of more ingredients.
"No," You interrupt before he can get too far, bracing yourself for what the baby is making you say next, "Actually, I was kind of thinking, well, peanut butter?" He goes still, head stuck in the fridge. "And, jelly?" You add more quietly. Slowly, he backs up and pivots, fixing you with a penetrating look.
"Sorry. It was all muffled in there. What sorta filling did ya want?" You repeat yourself, and watch as the smallest part of your husband dies. He blinks once, twice, then nods very slowly. "Okay," He says, quietly, almost as if he's steeling himself. "Okay." He repeats.
Hands resting on your growing middle, you watch as he methodically prepares the onigiri, with the exact fillings you'd requested. He hesitates with his spoon in the peanut butter, but he does what you asked. "Are ya sure this is my child?" He asks despairingly as he presents you with three perfectly formed onigiri.
"Positive," You assure him with a small chuckle. You can't help it - you're itching to dig into these onigiri, so you do. Is it an absurd combination? Yes. But does it satisfy the craving you'd been trying to ignore all day? Absolutely. You can't disguise your delight as you eat, humming happily as you savor the food your husband had so lovingly prepared for you, despite the desecration.
When you look up, you're surprised to find him smiling at you, head propped on his fist as he watches you eat.
"What're you grinning about?" You ask teasingly.
"Can't help it," He grumbles, "I'm just happy you're enjoyin' the food, even if it is an abomination. I love you." He gives your cheek a gentle pinch, then your stomach a loving pat.
"I love you too, Samu. We both do." You pause. "Want a bite?" You ask, holding the last onigiri out to him.
"Absolutely not."
KUROO TETSUROU
You're in bed, and it's barely 8:00. You never expected your normal day-to-day routine to tire you out this much, but then again you've never been 7 months pregnant before, either.
"Aw, come on," Tetsurou is cooing at your stomach, stroking it gently. "Just a little tiny kick? Mama gets to feel you move all the time." He's curled up with his face inches from your stomach, a dopey smile on on his face as he chatters to the baby as has become his nightly routine. You reach down to run a hand through his unruly hair.
"If you want someone to kick you in the bladder, that can probably be arranged," You say drily, snorting out a laugh when he looks up at you with a pout.
"I just want to feel her move," He sighs, "I feel like I always miss it. Everybody acts like it's so special."
"It is," You say softly, resting your hand on top of his. You can't deny that. "It'll happen," you say optimistically. With how bad he wants it, it has to, you silently tell your daughter.
"Yeah," He doesn't sound convinced, rolling to a sitting position. "Guess I'll go brush my teeth," He says, heading for the bathroom. You roll onto your back, reaching for your phone on the bedside table. You've just opened a conversation to respond to a text when you feel it - the faintest movement.
"Tetsu!" You call, "Come here!"
"What?" He's at the doorway in half a second, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and a frown creasing his brow, "Wha's wrong?"
"She's moving," You say, and shift to a sitting position. You hear him spit the toothpaste in the sink, and he's there in a heartbeat, hand on your belly. Right beneath his hand, you feel her kick. You watch as the look of wonder crosses his face.
"Hi, baby girl," He breathes, focusing all of his attention on the movement of your daughter beneath his hand. "I love you so much. I'm so excited to meet you." He turns to look at you then. "Finally," He grins, and you can't help but return it.
"Didn't I tell you?" You say smugly.
"Yeah, yeah." He silences you with a minty kiss.
KAGEYAMA TOBIO
At this point in your pregnancy, there's very little that soothes your aching back. Lying down, standing up, moving around, the pain is always there in the background to some extent. That's why you find yourself in the living room in the middle of the night, propping yourself up between the arm chair and wall in search of a position that will provide some relief.
"Are you alright?" You nearly jump out of your skin at the touch of Tobio's hand on your back. When you left the room, he'd been sleeping like a rock as usual.
"Fine," You assure him, stretching to a slightly more dignified position. "My back's just a little sore."
"Oh," He runs a hand gently up and down the muscles of your back. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Hold this for a second?" You say with a breathy laugh, mostly joking as you press a hand beneath your round stomach.
"I can try," He says seriously, moving behind you. You're about to tell him it was just a joke, but then you feel his chest pressed against your back and his hands gently supporting the underside of your belly. Instead of the protest that had been forming on your lips, you let out a groan of relief.
"Was that good?" He asks uncertainly.
"Very good," You're quick to assure him, letting your eyes close. He only hums in response, pressing a light kiss to your shoulder. You'd forgotten it was possible for your back to feel this normal. It's blissful. You could almost fall asleep right here and now.
"You sure are making trouble for your mama," You hear your husband whisper, drawing you back out of your drowsy state.
"It's okay," You murmur, "It'll all be worth it." He presses another kiss to your shoulder, and you sink back into silence.
"I really think we should get you back to bed," He says finally. Even though it means he'll have to let go, you feel you don't have any choice but to agree. "We can do this again tomorrow," He promises as he takes your hand to make your way back to the bedroom. You give his hand a tug and press a kiss to his lips. You'll hold him to that.
SAKUSA KIYOOMI
"I'm home," You hear Kiyoomi call from the front door. You freeze, but it's too late to hide the evidence. Soon enough, your husband appears in the nursery doorway, and you're caught red-handed.
"I told you I'd build that bookshelf tonight," He says, striding into the room and plucking the loose shelf from your hand. He takes the bag of screws from the other, sets them down, and then draws you away from your project.
"I know, but I just had to do something," You insist. "I already put all the clothes in the dresser, vacuumed, washed the drapes, and the box was just sitting there." His brow creases, and you realize you've said too much.
"You washed the drapes?" He heaves a heavy sigh. "How did you even get them down? And put them back up?"
You smile nervously. "A chair," You try to sound nonchalant. "They really aren't that high."
"My love," He says, taking your hands in his. "Please don't do something like that again. What if you fell?" You lower your head, biting down on your lip. It truly hadn't crossed your mind.
"Sorry," You whisper, "There's just so much to do! We need to be ready. The baby will be here in just a few months. I just want everything to be perfect."
"I know," He says, now rubbing comforting circles into the backs of your hands, "And we'll take care of everything. Together." He draws you into him and tucks your head beneath his chin. "I promise. I just want you to be safe."
His voice is a comforting rumble against your ear, and you nod your head against him. "I know," You agree softly.
"Good," He says, pulling back and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Now, since you've been busy all day, why don't you let me make dinner?" You open your mouth to protest, but with one look at his face, you close it again. "After dinner, you can read me the instructions. I'll build the bookshelf."
You smile at your husband. "Thanks for taking care of us, Kiyoomi," You say, and his expression softens.
"Of course. It's my job."
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu fluff#Miya Osamu#Miya Osamu x reader#Osamu x reader#Kuroo Tetsurou#Kuroo Tetsurou x reader#Kuroo x reader#Kageyama Tobio#Kageyama Tobio x reader#Kageyama x reader#Sakusa Kiyoomi#Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader#Sakusa x reader#moon writes#moon writes hq
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[REUPLOAD] skz + hands (and how they use them)
warnings: hand kink, sexual content (MDNI), fingering, oral (f receiving), squirting (hyunjin), putting that i mention jeongins church ring in here bc some people are religious n i aint tryna stir the pot
notes: a reupload from my previous blog !!
Chris : Man absolutely fingers you to the Gods. He's the type to know his hands drive you wild and he will absolutely use it to his advantage. That little 'Hall of Fame' move? Yeah - he's doing that shit to you under the dinner table when you join the boys for a night out. He's extremely good at using his hands to coax an orgasm out of you. (And you best bet he rubs over your clit with his thumb. Man is too experienced in fingering at this point. He knows all of your weak points.)
conclusion: uses his index and ring finger during sex + thumb for the clit <3 skilled enough to use one hand and make it amazing
Minho : He... *sigh.* I'm going to be that person and say that when he fingers you, you can feel the veins in his fingers. Not in a gross way - in a like, textured... ribbed-for-your-pleasure-dildo kind of way. His hands are soft - incredibly so - and because of how the blood pools in his hands any time he lowers them below his ribcage, you just feel it when he's kneeling over you and two fingers deep in your pussy. He'll use his free hand to touch and pinch at your clit though - he's a little too disoriented to use just one hand. But he loves the way his hand looks when he grabs at the plush of your thigh and the veins in his hand become more prominent the tighter he holds onto you, keeping you open for him.
conclusion: uses his middle and ring finger during sex, uses the opposite thumb for the clit <3 too eager to use one hand, gets messy and uses two
Changbin : He - Girl. He.. *sigh pt. 2* He's the type to not...? finger as much? But more, use his hands to spread your pussy open for him so he can shove his tongue as deep as possible into you. He's going to use his hands to hold your thighs apart (as if his broad ass shoulders dont push your thighs open enough) but he's going to do it specifically by putting his hands on the junction between your thighs and hips and splaying his fingers are far apart as he can. (also an ass grabber.)
conclusion: enjoys some good handfuls of ass while he eats you out
Hyunjin : Absolutely fingers you - but always does three instead of two because he's an overachiever. He's going to be fucking you with his fingers so hard that the fucking wet squelches that come from your pussy are NOTHING short of absolutely drop dead sinful. Y'both goin' to Hell for the way he destroys your pussy with his hand. Also, who cares about the clit. You're not even going to be worrying about that because you'll be too busy squirming and crying at the way he fucks you with his fingers.
conclusion: the type to fuck you with his hands so hard that you squirt. that's his end goal.
Jisung : Less of a finger-er, more of an eater. A grabber. Very grabby. He'll hoist your legs over his shoulders (mf is broad and nobody ever talks about it bc they're too focused on his waist) and slip his arms (which are again- big as FUCK) under your thighs so he can rest his hands on your abdomen. He likes feeling over your sides and tummy, maybe even reaching up to pinch your nipples and he's absolutely going to be just groping and kneading at your breasts when you start to squirm against his face.
conclusion: likes to grope and grab, knows you enjoy the feeling of his hands on your body.
Felix : Again, less of someone who fingers and moreso someone who eats. Man is hungry. Man needs that meal. Man - needs that meat. (LMAO SORRY) Anyway absolutely will grab at you while he eats you out. But unlike Ji where he's groping and grabbing and whatever - Felix will slap his hands on your thighs, arms wrapped under your legs, and then he'll lay there and eat - and knead at your skin while he does it. There is never a moment where his fingers aren't digging into the soft plush of your thighs and kneading the skin, pulling lightly on it and feeling how it bulges between his fingers. He's weak for it.
conclusion: thigh man 100%
Seungmin : The type to start by eating you out and letting you relax and think you're being taken care of but then slip his middle finger in and fuck you with it while he abuses you with his tongue. No warning, just a sudden intrusion that's definitely not unwelcome. Uses his free hand to pin your abdomen/hips down to the mattress so you can't move around too much. Also the type to absolutely bury his face in your pussy and try 'n get his tongue as deep into you as he possibly can. A messy eater.
conclusion: eats you out like you're his last meal but likes to keep you on your toes and wiggly. he thinks you're so cute.
Jeongin : We all know he's got pretty hands. (next to seungmo, imo.) So we know he's going to use his long fucking fingers to destroy your pussy. Definitely the type to use his middle and ring finger to fuck you, free hand splayed over your thigh to push it away from his head. You swear on God he's pushing at your cervix every time he goes knuckle deep and it makes you try to close your thighs but he refuses to let it happen and holds you open. Where Seungmin fucks you with his tongue and his fingers - Jeongin fucks you with his fingers and lets his mouth take care of your clit only. But his tongue is a topic for another time.
conclusion: certified clit sucker. has the longest fingers known to mankind and keeps his rosary ring ON while you fuck.
#skz imagine#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz smut#bangchan x reader#felix x reader#stray kids smut#changbin x reader#lee know x reader#Jeongin x reader#seungmin x reader#han x reader#Hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#bangchan smut#lee know smut#Changbin smut#han smut#Felix smut#seungmin smut#Jeongin smut
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SOON AS I GET HOME! ☆ 박종성
"soon as I get home, I'll make it up to you. baby, i'll do what i gotta do."
soon as i get home - faith evans.
c/w: suggestive!! yet extremely soft. husband jay...wow i love jay
you had a good man. an amazing man even. the best man a woman could ask for. and you've been neglecting him.
when he tries to hug you, it only lasts for a second before you push him away. when he tries to give you a kiss, you barely reciprocate back. when he tries to initiate sex, you brush him off, telling him you're "too tired" to be touched. it's noticeably put a bit of a strain on your marriage, and you feel guilty.
you decide it's time to ignite the fire in your marriage again. remind jay why he married you in the first place. since he's always busy with work and so are you, you decided you would call off work the next day and spend it planning something special.
you hop out the tub and wrap a towel around you before starting your hair and makeup. you decided to wear it down because you remembered how much jay liked it. for makeup, you go with a natural glam with some red eyeshadow.
—
you slip into the lingerie and dress you bought, buckle up your heels, and check yourself out in the mirror one more time. "yup. i still got it." you say to yourself before you head downstairs.
the time is currently 6:30. jay is already off work and is probably on his way back. you use this time to set the food up and pour up some wine. you also lay out some chocolates and light some scented candles. and of course, you had some old school jams playing in the back. lord, if he didn't put a baby in you tonight, it'd be a pretty close call.
as time gets closer, you decide to hide behind the wall so when he walks in, you can suprise him.
around 7:02, you hear some keys jingle and the door opening.
"baby, i'm home. i got some take-out if you're hungry. baby..?"
you can't help but feel your heart swell at your husbands voice. even through your dry spell, he's so sweet. you take this as an opportunity to step out.
"hi jjongie.."
his mouth opens so wide you're scared a moth might fly out of it.
"do you like it..?" he gave you a look as if you just asked the silliest question on earth.
"baby. like it? 'like it' would be disrespectful. you look amazing, y/n."
you giggle and help him take off his work jacket, giving his shoulders a soft massage, feeling the tenseness from his shift today. his head tips back with a sigh. "did i forget something today, love?" he says, trying to scan his mind for any event that could've happened.
you grab his hand and drag him into the kitchen where all the food is prepared. "you're my husband. and I've been neglecting you. so i wanted to show my appreciation for all you do." you say pulling out a chair for him.
"baby...you don't neglect me. we've both been busy with work." he says still holding on to your hand.
"still. when's the last time we had sex, jay?"
"a few days ago, right?" he says trying to see where you're going with this.
"exactly! remember? when used to go at it like animals? one day out of the week would've scared us a few years ago." you say with a small giggle. "now eat up. i dont want the food to get cold!"
you guys spend some time talking about your week and enjoying the meal you made. it felt so nice to have this moment with your husband. you guys rarely ever got to eat real meals together.
"wow, y/n. you really went all out." he says finishing his last bite.
"there's leftovers in the fridge if you get hungry again." you say getting ready to put the dishes in the sink.
he stands up, coming behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. "how could i ever repay you?"
you turn around and give him a look. "jay. you have been the most perfect man since the day i met you. i can't remember the last time i touched a door or a bill since our first date. you've done more than enough." you say pressing a peck on the corner of his mouth.
you dry off your hands before you turn back to him. "now, I have one more surprise for you upstairs. come on~" you say excitedly before dragging him up the stairs.
you finally make it to your bedroom and point his attention towards the bag in the middle of the bed. in it was a new cologne, a new tie and jewelry. as he opens the bag you dash into the bathroom to take off that tight dress and reveal what was underneath.
"baby, you didn't have to get me any of this. i'm so grateful, thank you. god, this is so cool." he says, examining his new items.
you finally step out the bathroom, heels still clicking as you call out his name.
he brings his attention up and his mouth is left open for the second time that night.
has he seen your body in ways you wouldn't even think was possible? yes. but everytime he did it felt like the first time.
you slowly make your way towards him before he reaches out his hands to touch you as if you'd dissappear right in front him.
"wow, i married a goddess. even years later you still make me feel like a teenage boy."
your eyes begin to water at his words and his touches, feeling like it's been an eternity since you've been touched like this. your hands begin to roam his body too, feeling underneath his shirt and caressing his stomach, your fingertips grazing the roughness of his happy trail.
"i love you jay. and i'll do whatever i can to make up for time we might've lost." you say leading him towards the bed so you can straddle him.
"we've grown a lot since we started dating, y/n. it's okay if sometimes we are too busy to do things with eachother. but even if we go months without touching eachother, i promise i'll always love you the same way I did back then."
and with that, he pulls you into a kiss, which leads into a night full of passionate lovemaking.
a/n: im foaming at the mouth.
#enhypen#enhypen reactions#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enha fluff#jay x reader#park jongseong x reader#enha x reader#kpop x reader#kpop#jay smut#enhaeil ☆ fic#enhypen scenarios
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