#i'm like 67% sure it's you

[transingthoseformers]

So my stunticon fics tab, right?

Either g1 had a lot of moments that in hindsight were a lot darker than anticipated, or g1 fic authors are on another dimensional plane entirely.

G1 fanfiction authors are legitimately able to sift through the highly episodic "saturday morning cartoons" nature of the show and can channel that energy into some of the most smut filled, morbid, profound, and enjoyable fics. There are so many characters with very interesting setups, and goddamn it Riot you're going to mention improv again Yes i am because i love taking some off the wall idea and seeing where it takes you (plus 100% i took improv to be not only an easy pass class but because i had had that teacher a lot in HS and thought it would help me be less controlling in my writing and it was a very fun class ngl) and honestly reblog chains on Tumblr remind me of "Yes, and..." mmmkay

[pinkbarbiebandaids]

10, 100% I am not making it lmao. My latest WIP was either about Resident Evil or Stranger Things and I'm cooked either way frfr, for ST I might make it through season one, but I'm also clumsy as hell so I might catch the Demogorgons attention immediately, and RE? I'm not making it out my first game fr 😭

you are personally and directly hit by a bus¹ and isekai-ed, via resurrection, into the body of the main character your most recent WIP

reblog and tell me: on a scale of 1–10, how screwed are you right now?

¹ this is, transparently, a plot device, so if you are about to tell me "joke's on you, I never leave my fifteenth floor apartment!" then you may rest assured it will have tremendous comedic value when the bus is launched into the sky and crashes through your apartment wall to flatten you anyway

[salemwasnteverhere]

How the Hashira men react to your neighbor asking you to be quiet

Characters: Tengen, Sanemi, Rengoku, Obanai, Gyomei, Giyuu,

Additional shit: Swearing, Sanemi fighting said neighbor, Rengoku being blunt, mentions of sex, ooc mot likely :p

Tengen

He couldn't care less

His whole thing is being flashy and loud so he wants you to be loud

Like it's not his fault that dick is magical

After he shoos your neighbor away he makes sure to be as loud as possible that night

He's pounding into your cunt and you swear your gonna break when he whispers "okay now scream exactly how big my dick is. Don't forget the tip color-"

He gets cut off by you hitting him with the pillow

Way to ruin the mood

But that doesn't stop him and instead he goes harder, making sure the bed creaks loud ASF for your neighbor

"Not my fault he doesn't know how to please a woman." Is his main reason for doing so

He really wants you to scream his name so it's imbedded in your neighbors head

"Morning N/N!" Him to your neighbor from the balcony while your trying to get out of bed and failing

"Actually die." Both you and your neighbor to Tengen

Sanemi

Cares alot

Why the fuck is that limp dick biscuit talking to you and him? Who does he think he is?

You were the one who broke the news to him thankfully cause if Sanemi was the one who opened the door then you'd have to see your husband through glass in a prison

Just kidding. The Slayer corp would get him out of trouble if he didn't do it himself.

Anyways

Sanemi made it his goal to piss your neighbor off as much as possible

Your under him, practically creaming on his cock, and he's slamming the wall yelling "This loud enough yet?! Huh!?"

Not kidding I can see him doing that

He quite literally had you against a window where your neighbors could see him destroying you just to make them mad or uncomfortable, hopefully both.

But then he'd get pissed someone else would see you all naked and fucked out so he settled for the wall next to the window

One day your neighbor, finally having enough, bangs on your door yelling and guess who opens it...Sanemi!!

Good Lord was he waiting for this

It took one punch and the guy was out

Kinda what happens when you put a normal dude against a guy who kills demons for a living

Rengoku

He's a good neutral between caring and not caring

Like he doesn't wanna make your neighbors mad but he also loves hearing your screams

So he tries to keep you quiet during sex but fails since he gets to into it to give a fuck

The next days his loud ass voice wakes you up

"IM SORRY FOR MAKING INCREDIBLE LOVE TO MY WIFE!" He's not being sarcastic thats his genuine apology

Your facepalming and you want to die when you see your neighbor and she can't look at you

"PERHAPS SHES MAD BECAUSE HER HUSBAND CANNOT PLEASE HER!" Rengoku says casually and you know she can hear you from outside in her garden

"Inside voices!" You place your hands over his mouth to try and shut him up.

It works for a bit before he's yelling again

You love your husband but holy shit you wish he would speak normally sometimes

He's actually quiet in bed though

So your the problem (real)

Obanai

I'm not an Obanai fan so forgive me for how bad his section will be

Obanai is a quiet mf, and you're not even that loud

It's your neighbor who was the problem

A little old man whose hearing aids apparently had the power of 67 suns

You and Obanai found this out when he was outside training and your neighbor came over

He was so sweet and polite and even chuckled at Obanai's redness

Obanai cared at first but got over it

You? You make sure to not make a PEEP in bed

Okay that pisses Obanai off but he understands your reasons

At least make a gasp or sum cause he's over here like "Wait does this feel good? Can she feel it? Did I forget where the clit is?"

Brother is STRESSING

Then you cum and he's like "ah"

Then he's like "Did you take it?"

You have to keep yourself from murdering him cause how tf would you fake squirting

Gyomei

Babe I'm not gonna lie, you're a screamer

Gyomei is built like a house and your telling me your just gonna whine and whimper?

NO

Your over here crying and screaming into his chest, neck, the pillow, anything.

And Gyomei loves it!

He can't see your reactions so hearing and feeling them let's him know he's doing good

Gyomei isn't loud but he's not quiet

He'll grunt and moan and praise you, but he's not gonna cry out.

Well he'll cry but you can never tell from what

When the pussy so good you start crying 😭🙏

When your neighbor politely asked you to be a tad bit quieter Gyomei actually laughed

Not in a 'nah we'll keep being loud' way but more of a 'sorry we'll be quiet' way. He also found it hilarious how you actually died of embarrassment.

Don't worry he thinks its endearing

Yet it was kinda hard for him since he enjoyed hearing you

But your touches and now quieter moans made that better

And then there's also you literally drawing blood from his back you were scratching so hard

Giyuu

Holy shit you have never seen him so embarrassed

Like you could shade match his Haori to him and get the exact same color

He was the one your neighbor told and he stopped working when 'loud' and 'moaning' left their lips

If a demon doesn't kill him then his own actions will

Giyuu isn't loud, and he loves that he can make you feel so good that your loud for him.

But he didn't want your neighbor back over at your house so he tried to keep you quiet

You were super confused when he held his hand over your mouth in bed and he just pointed to your neighbors house. Then you got it.

So you nod and try to keep quiet.

You know in school when the teacher tells you and a friend to shut up but they look at you funny and you break?

Yeah that was you

You were riding Giyuu one night and you were loud so he was like "holy shit I love you but please- I can't look our neighbor in the eyes anymore."

And you couldn't help but laugh

Like howling

You calmed down obviously but sex was very giggle filled after that

You've never seen Giyuu so panicked

But give him a week and he'll stop caring

[wrioluvr]

dr ratio x top male reader

this idea came to me in a dream..... dr ratio it seems i've grown quite fond of you. nsfw, gets wholesome at the end

"see, dear, if you insert your cock in me at exactly 67 degrees to the right, we'll both feel the maximum amount of pleasure." dr ratio says confidently as he precisely adjusts your tip at his entrance to his desired position. "are... are you sure?" you can't help but stare incredulously as he treats your cock like it's a mathematical instrument. "don't be silly. i'm always right." lying beneath you, he finally finishes calibrating the angle he wants you to fuck him in. "okay. put it in me now!" he declares triumphantly, clearly proud of his own work. you can't help but shake your head fondly at his antics, his dedication to using his intelligence to "optimise" every situation was rather.... silly sometimes. nevertheless, you push into him slowly, enjoying the sound of him trying the stifle his moan at the feeling of your cock stretching his tight walls. "s-see. i told you so- mmph." his pride meant he'd completely deny this in front of anyone else, the way you'd fucked him like a whore, thrusting in and out of him at "the optimal speed" (according to him), but in private, you were the only one who he wanted to please. increasing your speed of your thrusts without warning, you can't help but smirk at the way he bucks his hips into you, legs shaking and hole clenching even tighter. "you idiot! i told you to follow the speed-" he starts to protest, but he's quickly quietened by your hand over his mouth as you lean forward and whisper lowly to his ear. "you talk too much, baby." he shudders at your words. "need some....stern teaching?" despite the intimacy of the situation, you have to try not to laugh as you repurpose the conversation you had a few days ago to rile him up. hearing you use his own words to tease him, he glares at you, but can't get any words out as his mind is so focused on being pummelled by your cock. it's so pathetic, he thinks to himself. usually his brain is so busy, endlessly pondering, but now he can't think of anything but the way you're fucking him. "shit...i'm gonna cum..." you breathe out as you hold his hips, almost reaching your limit. "do it in me." he says sharply, his attitude coming back in an instant. you have no choice but to oblige, pumping him full as the both of you climax. the two of you collapse onto the bed, a heap of sweaty bodies and unspoken affections. you lie on his chest as he strokes your hair, trying to catch your breath. "well done. plus 10 points." "what the fuck are you saying??" you laugh as you throw the pillow at him. "nothing... just talking to myself." "weirdo."

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"you know, you might be an idiot, but you're my idiot." he suddenly says, looking back as you soap his hair in your shared bath, cleaning up from your intense session earlier. his words carry a level of warmth to them despite their bluntness, a warmth he'd never give to anyone else. "stop calling me an idiot." you pout, leaning forward to smack him on the head playfully. "i'm serious! don't worry your pretty head about anything, i can do more than enough thinking for the both of us." you place your arms around him and hug him from the back in a tight embrace, the warm water surrounding you only adding to the romantic atmopshere. "whatever you say, veritas." ♡

omg i based his personality completely off his leaked voicelines and tried to incorporate some of them here hfgdhgd

[zeppelinlvr]

Still Feel Like That

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Summary: you accompany Dean, Sam, and Bobby on a hunt. You and Dean go out for a drink and Dean looks after you when you've had too much to drink.

Notes: Reader is a yapper (cus same), kinda implied that reader is Bobby's kid but it's not stated outright, sorry if you like Poison or Bret Micheals reader hates on them for a second, I assumed that Dean switched out his radio with one that would be compatible with cassettes since a 67' would likely have a 8 track player, I got lazy with my research so I apologize if any facts are incorrect (feel free to correct me).

Warnings: Suggestive language, flirting, cursing, mentions of throwing up, y/n is used like three times, Dean in his undies (yummy!)

Word Count: 4.1k

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

You sat at Bobby’s old wooden table, sipping hot coffee from your Garfield mug. You didn’t own it but when you saw the grumpy orange cat with a text saying ‘I'm listening I just don’t care’ sitting on Bobby’s shelf of mismatched old mugs you’d used the cup ever since. 

You sat in your pajama shorts, slippers, and an old tee shirt, the cracked text reading “Winfield national flatpickin’ championships”. The shirt previously belonged to Bobby and he couldn’t remember how he acquired such an item, he assumed he was passing through Kansas and picked it up along the way, but you loved it so much he felt it was necessary to give it to you. 

You were reading through a book you had picked up on demonology. Bobby had given you a few vague events that had occurred and you were trying to figure out what exactly he was dealing with. You had a book on Pagan gods on standby. 

You heard the front door open, figuring it was Bobby you chose to continue reading but when you heard unfamiliar voices you quickly looked up in a panic, nearly knocking your chair over to try to scramble and find Bobby. You were not a hunter by any means, you just did the research and stayed in the comfort of motels. You knew some basic self defense but you could not fight a serious threat on your own.

You were making a dash for the nearest room when you heard Bobby yell your name. 

You quickly spun around to look at him, seeing two tall, handsome, potentially dangerous, men standing next to him. 

“What the hell are you doing kid?” Bobby asked you, concerned by your panic stricken expression.

“I heard people- and I was trying to find you and not die” You uttered out, still confused about who the two other men were. “Sorry, who the hell are these guys” you added 

“Sam and Dean I talk-” Bobby started but you cut him off 

“Winchester?” you asked excitedly “Bobby talks about you two all the time and I really wanted to meet both of you, especially Dean, Bobby says you make stupid decisions but you sound fun” you rambled quickly, a smirk growing on the shorter ones face at your mention of him. 

“Oh my god you have to be Sam, you totally have that sad puppy look” you said to the taller one “You could ask me to donate my life savings to a charity then build a shelter for the homeless and I totally would” you continued to talk.

“I like her” the shorter man who you had now assumed was Dean said with a grin 

“Wait Dean” you started turning to him “Did you drive your car here, I’ve heard rumors it's a totally awesome 67’ impala and I’ve been dying to see it” 

Before Dean could respond with a comment about how you were marriage material Bobby interrupted your rambling “Okay motor mouth, I’m sure Sam and Dean are enthralled by your commentary but they need our help” 

“Are you the super smart Y/n?” Sam asked 

“The one who has saved our asses more times than we can count” Dean added

“Yes, that's her, and I don't prefer to shout about her to the whole world because she's not exactly Hulk Hogan” Bobby said, growing slightly annoyed with the continued blabbering. 

“Really? Hulk Hogan? You have to compare me to that doofus, call me Bret Micheals while you’re at it” You shot at him 

“I’m sorry, would you prefer to be Kerry VonErich” Bobby sighed 

“Yes, minus his incredibly tragic life” you said as you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Bobby why have we not met this chick sooner, she's awesome” Dean said slightly in awe. 

“You two don't care to stop by all that often and I knew you and her would get along real well and we wouldn't get anything done” Bobby responded hinting at the exact situation that was happening. 

“Let me see Dean’s car then I promise I will be productive” you offered

“Yeah let her see my car” Dean added, Sam smiling at the situation and Bobby rolling his eyes and reluctantly agreeing. 

The four of you made your way outside and when you saw the impala you let out a gasp of excitement before sprinting towards it. 

“She is so beautiful” you gushed to Dean “You keep her in phenomenal condition, does she run well?” 

“Like she’s new” Dean responded, smiling at your excitement over the car. 

“Is there an 8 track player? I have a few tapes I could give you if you want” You offered 

“Switched it out for a cassette player” Dean told you

“Good choice, 8 tracks are such a hassle, you can hear another song playing in the background of whatever you're trying to listen to, and don't even think about trying to fast forward to get to the song you want, at least you have a slim chance to land on the right song with cassettes” you rambled 

“Yeah no kidding, you wanna see my tape collection” Dean offered 

“Nope, we agreed on just the car now we need to figure out what the hell is going on in Pawnee Nebraska” Bobby interrupted as the four of you made your way back into the house 

“I’m so sick of going to these ho-hum towns, why can't you guys hunt things that reside in memphis or something, I want to go to a museum that isn't about the butter cow or a mayor who died of dysentery” You said with a sigh

“Hunting in this ho hum town means road trip and i'm sure Dean would be delighted to let you ride down with him” Bobby offered for Dean, partly because he wanted some silence in his own car and he also wanted you, Dean, and Sam to be able to talk as much as you pleased and hopefully be caught up so you could focus on working. 

Dean agreed to the idea and Sam shrugged, hoping you would prevent bickering between him and his brother. 

“I promised I’d focus so Sam, you’re smart, have you found out more than some bad weather and a ‘still under investigation death of a couple’” You asked, turning to the taller brother, offering him a smile, slightly feeling bad you’d paid so much attention to his brother and not talked to Sam much. 

“Yeah, I think the weather is unrelated, I found autopsy reports and the couple had these wounds on the back of their necks. I don't recognize the pattern but you might be able to” he replied to you with a soft smile, he made his way to his computer and set it on the table where your abandoned books and coffee lay. 

You made a noise of disgust upon seeing the picture but you instantly recognized the wound pattern “That has to be changelings, they feed off of the mother until she dies, it's so creepy” You started “In a lot of the books I’ve read they switch out an infant for a changeling, did the couple have a kid?” you asked 

“Yeah, but she's a little girl who’s ten years old” Sam replied to you

“Different cultures have varying takes on changelings, some of them say they can grow and develop like a human would, so it's definitely a possibility” You told him “We have to get down there asap before more kids are switched out, and when you figure out where the little girl is at now, monitor her behavior closely, she's gonna be hungry and use abnormal phrases for a ten year old.” You explained

“Alright you heard her” Dean said, squeezing between you and Sam and placing a hand on your shoulder. He secretly wanted your attention back on him. 

“Let me pack a bag and change then I’ll be ready to head out” you told them

“Same goes for me, give us five minutes” Bobby added

You headed to your room and changed into jeans and tee shirt, additionally throwing on a crewneck from a college in Louisiana that you had found in the aisles of a thrift store. 

You threw a few additional outfits in a duffle bag and your pajamas which consisted of sleep shorts and a tee shirt, you threw your slippers for your constantly cold feet in the bag and you were ready to go. 

Your socked feet padded against the floor as you made your way to the front door to grab your shoes. You threw them on and told the group you were ready to go. 

Dean, Sam and you crowded into the impala, Dean leaping on the opportunity to tell Sam to sit in the back after you had informed the brothers you get carsick. 

“I have zofran, Sam can sit in the front, I don't want to take his spot” you said 

“Nope, Sam get in the back” Dean quickly said as he took his spot in the driver's seat. 

After the three of you had gotten in the car and started on the trip Sam complained “Dean, I know there's a pretty girl but what if I get carsick in the back” 

“You won't, and the very pretty girl won't complain about my music choices” Dean told him and raised his brows at you.

Your face heated at how they referred to you, you cleared your throat and changed the subject “I know you guys are more hands on than me so I know a few ways to figure these things out, different folklore says if you can make them laugh they’ll reveal their truth, or you can shout god bless you, you can cook with eggshells. German legends say you can whip the child but honestly the easiest way to kill them is just lighting the fuckers on fire” You explained “People used to throw them in the fireplace or in the oven but you can get away with a blowtorch and a can of hairspray” 

“That's more our speed” Dean replied 

“People were seriously throwing these things in ovens?” Sam asked “What if the kid wasn't actually a changeling” 

“People got overly paranoid and it wasnt exactly common knowledge back then that someone could be born with physical or mental disabilities, also families used to be really reliant on everyone in the household being able to help out so a lot of child abuse ensued because parents didnt want to have a changeling on their hands” You explained “Anyway these things creep me out so lets talk about something more lighthearted on the way there” 

“i agree sweetheart” Dean said and you blushed at the name “I heard your comment about Bret Micheals, are you a Poison hater” 

“I can tolerate them but I will not go out of my way to listen to them, they’re definitely one of the lamest hair bands” you told him “I definitely prefer Van Halen, Quiet Riot, Def Leppard and Cinderella if I’m going to listen to hair bands” 

“Atta girl, you don’t like that Barry Manilow bullshit do you?” Dean asked 

“God no, fuck Styx too, that Babe song pisses me off” you laughed 

“Cus you know it’s you babe” Sam started singing off key and you groaned in annoyance, Dean laughing. 

The three of you talked about music, movies, and Sam and Dean's past hunts, asking odd would you rather questions when trying to think of new conversation topics 

“Okay would you rather have to eat a little bit of cheese on everything or never eat cheese again” you asked 

“Never eat cheese again” Sam quickly answered 

“I’d put a little bit on everything I fucking love cheese” you answered 

After extensive conversation and small bits of bickering the three of you made it to Nebraska, Bobby close behind.

Dean checked into the hotel, getting two rooms, one for him and Sam and one for you and Bobby. He gave the woman behind the counter a credit card with a name that most certainly was not his then the three of you made your way to the rooms. Dean opened the door to one of the rooms and the cowboy theme of the room made you laugh.

“You sure know how to pick ‘em’ Dean” you said 

“It’s fun, this cowboy boot pen holder on the desk is cute” he said, picking up the small red ceramic boot with a few pens sticking out of it.

“It is kinda cute, and I like the lasso on the wall” you pointed out 

“Oh man, creepy” you said as you noticed the sad clown painting hanging above the bed. 

“That's coming down” Sam said and quickly moved over to the painting to take it off the wall and lay it face down in the corner of the room. 

“Sammy here is a afraid of clowns” Dean informed you

“I don’t blame him, they’re scary, and all the media about killer clowns doesn’t exactly make me want to see one” you replied 

Bobby arrived at the motel shortly after the three of you had gotten the rooms. The four of you were discussing plans for the next day as it was later and you all agreed to start interviewing people in the morning. 

“i’m gonna go grab a drink, I saw a bar about ten minutes from here” Dean announced 

“I’ll join you if Bobby and Sam don’t need help with research” you said 

“Go take a break kid, you work your ass off, me and Sam will be fine” Bobby told you, you thanked him and gave him a quick hug before heading out with Dean. 

You weren’t surprised by the crowd at the bar, mostly older men who looked like they had just gotten off work, farm clothes and dirty work shirts adorned most of them. A few of them had women who you assumed were their wives at their side, chatting quietly with them. You were glad your outfit wasn’t out of place for the scene. 

A man who you guessed to be around fifty was working behind the bar, he gave Dean and you a soft smile before asking what you’d like to drink. 

“I’ll take a beer” Dean told him

“Busch okay? We don’t have anything else” The bartender replied 

“Perfect” 

“And for the pretty lady” the bartender asked 

“I’ll just take a vodka cranberry” you said, not minding his comment too much, you knew he didn’t mean anything by it, people just talked like that. 

You and Dean sat at the bar after getting your drinks, chatting with each other. 

One drink led to another and you lost count of how many you had drank. You were asking Dean silly questions and you began to vocalize your thoughts about how handsome he is.

“I know you can't kill a vampire with a wooden stake, but have you ever tried death by stereo?” you asked with a giggle, you had taken your hand into his and were toying with his fingers. 

“The Lost Boys is a great movie, me and Sammy will try out death by stereo just for you the next time we hunt vampires” he replied earning a laugh from you.

“You are so manly and cute and handsome” you slurred poking a finger into his chest, eyes widening at the firmness of his muscles “Oh my gosh you’re strong too, I feel like I just poked a rock” 

He laughed and shook his head at your comments “Let's get you to bed before you say more shit you’ll regret tomorrow.” 

“I don't regret anything, I’ve been thinking about how cute you are all day, and those big arms wrapped around-” You blabbered but were cut off by Dean.

“Yep time for bed, but give me a heads up sweetheart if you still feel this way after you’ve sobered up” 

“I’m going to pay, then we’re going to get in the car, then get you to bed” he added

“Very forward, I like it” you giggled with a raise of your brows. 

After Dean paid he walked you out to the Impala, you stumbling slightly finding it hard to walk after being sat down all night. 

“I'm cold” you lied, you were not cold but you wanted his jacket.

“You have a sweater on?” he replied with confusion lacing his tone.

“You're supposed to give me your jacket then I can smell like you” you told him and tried to give him a hug while still walking. 

He forced a sigh then wrapped his jacket around you. You snuggled into it and thanked him.

After a car ride consisting of you informing Dean your feet hurt and you were tired, the two of you arrived back at the motel.

Dean opened the door to yours and Bobby's shared room. You giggled noticing the lights were off. 

Dean attempted to shush you “he's probably asleep already, quiet down” 

You only laughed harder at the fact you needed to be quiet “he looks like Ebenezer Scrooge when he sleeps, he just needs the little hat” you commented through your giggles, Dean tried to hide his smile to not encourage you. 

“I always think the ghost of Christmas past is gonna get him” you said before bursting into laughter and Dean quickly slapping his hand over your mouth. He pushed you into the bathroom and shut the door attempting to muffle your giggles. He flipped the light on and asked you where your duffle bag was. 

“In the room somewhere” you shrugged 

“Well no shit sweetheart” 

“It's on my bed I think” you giggled 

“Okay perfect you stay right here and I’ll go get it then you're going to change and go to bed” he told you

Dean groped through the dark until he found your bag, it was sitting on your bed as you had told him. He made his way back to the bathroom to find you sitting on the toilet lid, playing with the toilet paper roll that had the first square folded into a fancy shape. 

“Isn't this just precious” you said and showed him the toilet paper

“Yes, very cute put it down” he said and took the roll out of your hands, placing it on the counter. 

He opened your bag and fished out your shorts and a tee shirt “get changed” 

“No can do, can’t get my pants off” you shrugged with a fake sigh 

Usually Dean would be enthralled to take a girl's pants off but he wasn’t in the mood for an ass whooping from Bobby. 

He just prayed Bobby wouldn’t wake up because you weren’t budging. He helped you shimmy your jeans off your legs, then slipped your shorts onto you. 

“Need help with my shirt too” you said as you shrugged his jacket off your shoulders and put it into your lap. 

He slipped your crewneck over your head, your shirt coming off with it. He quickly took in your figure, admiring the sight of you in your bra before he slipped a clean shirt over your head. 

You unclasped your bra and slipped it off from under your shirt before tossing it on the bathroom floor. 

“Really? you can do that but you can’t change on your own” Dean whisper yelled 

“I can’t show you too much” you shrugged “now can you carry me to bed?”

He was willing to do anything to get you in bed at this point so he scooped you up in his arms and carried you out to your bed, you giggled as he threw you down onto the sheets. 

“Go to bed now” he whispered and you quickly made yourself comfortable under the blankets, cuddling into his jacket that you still held in your arms. 

You heard the door close and you soon drifted off to sleep. 

You awoke around four in the morning the red numbers off the alarm clock informing you of the time. You were starving and the alcohol had barely worn off. you crawled out of bed and slipped on Dean's jacket, it hung loosely on your figure, the length going past your shorts and the sleeves being far too long. You were glad for the added warmth because you were freezing. 

You were absolutely craving fried chicken and you dug through the mini fridge wholeheartedly expecting to find some, when the disappointment hit you, you left the room and went into Sam and Dean's room, letting yourself in with the spare key you had been given. 

You began to dig through their refrigerator in the dark, expecting to find some chicken but when you heard a gun click and the light flipped on, you spun around, met by Dean in his underwear and Sam shuffling in moments later with his blanket wrapped around him.

“What the hell are you doing” Dean asked 

“I want fried chicken so bad” you complained 

“Why would we have fried chicken?” Dean asked, still groggy and confused. 

“I don’t know I just wanted to check” you told him 

Sam laughed at the interaction, telling Dean he shouldn’t have let you drink so much before he headed back to his bed. 

“I promise I will get you fried chicken in the morning but please go back to bed” Dean told you 

“You look cute in your undies” you giggled 

“And you look cute in my jacket now go to bed” he mimicked your giggle. 

You agreed but not before you made him promise to get you your food in the morning, you made him lock pinkies with you despite his complaints of annoyance. 

You made your way back to your room and quickly fell asleep again. 

The next morning was hell, Bobby woke you up around 8 and you were met with a headache and a need for water. The second you stood up you found yourself running to the bathroom as a nauseating feeling built in your throat. 

You heard Sam and Dean talking as you were throwing up the memories of last night. Both of them asking how you were doing, and Bobby explaining you were currently throwing up, expecting an explanation from Dean as to why. 

Dean ducked out of the conversation “I’m going to get her water and hold her hair back, like a man does” he walked into the bathroom and gave a small chuckle at your figure hunched over the toilet. 

“Do not fucking laugh at me” you groaned 

“You still want that fried chicken” he asked, and you gagged at the thought, he grabbed you a cup of water to rinse your mouth out with and handed you the toilet paper you had been previously admiring to wipe your mouth off with. 

You wiped the sweat from your forehead and the tears from your eyes before standing up to brush your teeth. 

“You still gotta work today you know” Dean told you 

you rolled your eyes at him and after you had finished brushing your teeth you said “I’ll survive, I can tolerate sitting and reading, you have to go fight the things” 

You and Dean joined Bobby and Sam, Sam having told Bobby about you breaking into their room. You were expecting to get your ass chewed out but all you got from Bobby was “Kid I’m glad you had fun, you need to loosen up sometimes, but we still need your help today, so I expect your best” 

You agreed and gave him a quick hug before setting up a spot to research on the desk in the room. 

Sam and Dean left to put on formal clothes as they were posing as detectives and had to look the part. They returned to the room after changing. 

“Don’t you boys look handsome” you said with a grin 

“We have to be believable” Dean grumbled 

“I’m being serious, you look nice” you smiled “I’m going to look for potential demonic activity in other areas, call me if you need anything” 

“Will do sweetheart” Dean replied 

“Thanks for all your help y/n, we’ll pick you up some fried chicken on our way back” Sam grinned 

Your stomach churned at the thought of eating anything but maybe you’d change your mind later in the day, so you didn’t shut him down. 

As the three were turning to leave you said “by the way Dean, I do still feel like that” earning a grin from him and his head flooding with thoughts of what he could do to you when he got back. 

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

[idesofrevolution]

Cult of Personality

The blistering New Mexico heat bared down on Douglas' '99 Chevrolet Cavalier. The small blue coupe meandered up I-25, enroute from Las Cruces to Santa Fe. The old man quietly sighed to himself, fruitlessly trying to think of a better pitch to sell his Solar Panels to the rich folks up in Albuquerque. Las Cruces ended up being a bust, just as much as Tucson: the damn things were just too expensive up front. Not that the company gave a single damn, quotas are quotas. Thus, still empty handed, he passed the exit sign for Socorro- still an hour until he'd reach his destination.

As he passed the exit, he noticed a bright red glint a bit further up the road. Douglas adjusted his glasses, squinting his eyes to see. He slowed down on the empty highway as the sight became clearer. It was a car. In fact, it was a bright red '67 Mustang; it's owner leaned on the hood as black smoke bellowed from the tailpipe. Douglas looked down at his watch, knowing fully well that he needed to be in Albuquerque before sundown. Though, as he approached the broken down muscle car, the sweltering heat of the Chihuahuan Desert at high noon would be a killer. The young man leaning on the car turned his head, not even sweating a single drop, and stared blankfaced at Douglas as he pulled up.

Douglas hit the brakes, stopping his car right alongside the young man. He strode up to the old man's car, leaning in and resting his elbows onto window ledge. His stoic expression slowly melted into a wide grin, licking his lips before he spoke.

"You headed toward Albuquerque?" A thick Texan accent flowed from the man's lips, his dark brown eyes nearly black even in the blinding light of the sun. Douglas felt an odd twinge of nervousness as the grinning young man casually smiled; it felt off. Behind that handsome visage, something was brewing within.

"I'm headed to Santa Fe, but I can call you a mechanic from Socorro, he'd be here in a jiffy!" The young man's smile didn't fade, he simply shook his head 'no.'

"Phone's got no service out here, brother. I sure would appreciate a ride. It's just a mile or so up the road." He turned, pointing down the seemingly endless highway. Before Douglas could deny the young man his request, the hitchhiker leaned in closely. It may have been the heat, or it may have been his exhaustion, but for no more than two seconds, he thought he'd heard whispers blowing in the wind. Douglas said nothing, and the young man's grin grew wider. "Thank you, brother. I'll hop in the back."

As he strode back to his car, grabbing a duffel bag from the trunk of his car, Douglas wanted to slam on the gas and blitz out of there. An air of menace surrounded this man, despite his magnetic charisma; yet his foot did not press down on the pedal. The passenger side door opened, as the man hopped into the back seat of his coupe. Too late. The door slammed by itself, evidently thanks to a gust of wind he neither felt nor heard. He pulled the car out of park, and off the duo went. He glanced into his rearview mirror, taking in the sight of his hitchhiker.

He nearly took up the entire backseat. The duffel bag sat next to him, his muscular arms tightly holding it against his side. He was easily above six feet tall, likely even more than six and a half. He threw his arms behind his head, kicking his large feet onto Douglas' armrest. Outwardly, he seemed like just another good looking guy- one he'd likely see on his granddaughter's TikTok. But his guard remained on high alert.

"Just keep driving, brother. I'll tell ya when to turn off." His velvety voice was disarming, a carefree confidence just wafted from him alongside the strange heat which seemed to emanate from his muscular body. For about an hour, the two sat in silence as they rocketed down the highway. Each glance he shot into his mirror, Douglas would see the man smirking- his gaze never meeting the old man's. Thus, as the road veered to the left in the distance, their silence was broken. "Don't turn, just keep going straight." He carried a tone of authority in his voice, a natural command that would be highly unlikely to be ignored.

"There isn't a road straight ahead..." The hitchhiker finally stared into the mirror, his eyes locked on Douglas' reflection.

"Go straight."

As if of their own accord, the old man's hands kept steadfast on their trajectory. As the road began to curve, the Cavalier shot in the commanded direction, straight into the sands of the desert. They swerved, avoiding large rocks and towering Saguaros, before the foothills of the mountains started to come into view. Through the mirage before them, Douglas could see what looked like a campsite ahead, just beyond the thicket of green brambles. A crowd of maybe 50-70 people had gathered in the bowels of the desert. For what purpose, Douglas did not yet know. But as he slowly began his approach, the entire crowd had turned their eyes toward the car. Like the parting of the Red Sea, the crowd split in two; leaving a clear straight shot toward a makeshift platform right at the base of the mountain.

"Thank you for the lift, brother. Do me a favor, will ya? Stick around. I have a feeling you'd love what we have going on today." Again, his timbre was less of a request- and far more of a demand. The tone was never raised, nor was it ever aggressive. However, he felt as if one would be wise to heed his instructions. Douglas simply nodded, turning the car off, and opening the door.

The crowd was filled with a diverse cast of people, all of which were fit, energetic, and young. Not a single soul had seen a day over 30, no less than 21. They stared with vacant expressions in silence until the hitchhiker exited the backseat, at which point they erupted in cheers and applause. Douglas watched with confusion and shock as the young man walked toward the platform, shaking hands, playfully punching shoulders, giving out high fives like condoms at a clinic. Who the hell had he picked up? Where the hell was he? As he hopped atop the wooden structure in one single leap, easily five feet off the ground, he shucked the grey tank top and tossed it into the crowd. A young woman caught it, tenderly holding it against her chest as the onlookers admired his chiseled build. Raising his arms, the crowd went silent.

"Brothers and Sisters, today is the day! Are you ready? Are you rearing? Tell me!" The crowd erupted, Douglas stared around the transfixed athletes, feeling entirely out of place- as if he wasn't meant to be there. "For one full year, you have trusted me to build your bodies into machines: daily training, nightly runs, some of y'all are out there doing some of the hardest workouts we have to offer. Look at you now!" More cheers. "When I told you that your bodies were temples, to treat them as such, each and every one of you took my words seriously. I said that each of you had the potential to become something incredible. You said, but Cameron, I can't ever get to where you're at! But guess what? You followed the regimen, you became part of our family, you became a part of something so much bigger than you even knew. And we are here today, your induction into our movement, the final hoo-rah!" Mimicking the leader, every single one of the parroting people began to chant hoo-rah, once... twice... thrice... like a warcry on the battlefield. Douglas turned, searching through the sea of people to find an escape route. Instead, he only saw five men of the same jacked physique of the leader handing out what looked to be bottles of water. Peering closely, the unlabeled bottles carried a milky white liquid.

"What sort of Jonestown shit is this..." The bottles were disperse quickly amongst the crowd, the cheery if not dim young men had seemingly finished in minutes as the leader droned on. Douglas took the opportunity to make his way back toward the car, only for a moment of dread to wash over him. It was gone. In it's place, a line of tire tracks came to an abrupt end, no vehicle in sight. The old man felt a hand on his shoulder, turning quickly to be face to face once again with 'Cameron' himself.

"I wanted to thank you for helping me, Douglas. I'm more than happy to reimburse you, you've saved the day." Whispers again started to rise around him, incoherently babbling a language far outside of his own knowledge. "Today, my friend, your journey begins." Douglas tried to pry his eyes away from Cameron to no avail. The deep brown eyes seemed to swallow any thought, any desire, any need. Cameron's pupils started to pulse, mimicking the old man's heartbeat, growing larger and larger, until the inky blackness had swallowed his entire iris & sclera. Cameron smirked as he watched the old man's posture fall forward, his shoulders drooping and his jaw hanging loosely. "Mmmmmmm. Good, fall deep, vessel. For your assistance today, your reward is to be one with me, just as all in my inner circle have done."

The black-eyed stud gently guided Douglas away from the crowd, who were busy downing the contents of their respective bottles just as moans and groans started ringing out from the poor fools. The five members of Cameron's inner circle followed suit, their eyes flooding black and mouths curling into devilish grins. The group soon arrived in a clearing of the thicket, circling around a pile of filthy clothes strewn across the dirt. Douglas was slowly guided to them, entirely unwavering in his stonefaced obedience.

"Well, my children. You continue to serve me well. I admit, this body must be hard to say no to. He is a joy to wear." The five goons chuckled menacingly, one or two of them groping at their bulges through their running shorts. "Today, as you all did before him, Douglas aided me in my time of need. On a momentous day as this, such acts must be rewarded. Today, you welcome your new brother." With a swipe of his hand, Douglas' corporate clothing dissolved into thin air, burnt ash flying into the desert wind. He stood there in the nude, the group watching in anticipation as Cameron simply pointed down to the pile of reeking clothes, and Douglas could do nothing but obey.

One by one the articles began to tremble, before sliding across the sand toward their soon-to-be owner. Cameron snickered, snapping his finger. A sweaty jockstrap quickly flew into the air, levitating for a moment before shooting toward the old man's groin. Like a liquid hitting a solid, the grimy fabric collided with Douglas, warping and wrapping around his legs and package until it had settled into it's new home. The brothers grinned, as they watched the old man's admittedly humble bulge swell rapidly. It expanded outward, his balls dropping like ten pound weights as they grew, and his cock elongated and widened until it peeked it's head out from the bottom of the sweat stained pouch. Douglas moaned as his ass swelled thick and bulbous, the formerly wrinkled and smooth skin sprouting dark brown hairs as his bush followed suit. Cameron grinned, strutting over to cup his hand over the musky horsecock and balls that had sprang from his jock.

Another snap of his fingers, and the shorts shot upward, wrapping around Douglas' legs, quickly inflating them with thick mass. His hamstrings widened, his quads becoming hard as iron while his calves tightened. The chicken legs he used to possess now were two massive slabs of hard meat. Cameron continued to grope and massage his prey's bulge, the fabric of the jockstrap growing sticky with his pre as he moaned. The five grunts slowly lowered their own shorts and jockstraps, releasing their sweaty dicks into their waiting palms.

"You humans are so... simple." *snap* The socks slithered like snakes across the ground, surrounding Douglas' toes and sliding around his heel and fastening around his ankle. "All it takes is slipping into some attractive male, and you'll be worshipping at my feet. As will you." The old man's feet cracked and stretched wide, his soles growing soft and sweaty as the stinking running shoes melted around his gigantic feet. The rubber and fabric contorted and stretched, the funk of a thousand runs in the desert heat wafting from within their confines as they reformed into a perfect fit. The group started to stroke their cocks, small droplets of black sludge seeping from their slits. Cameron grinned, sliding his hand into Douglas' jockstrap and wrapping it around his throbbing member. "You, however, will be a prince among men."

*snap* The pot belly which had plagued Douglas for 30 some odd years slowly receded, fading into obscurity as if it had never been there to begin with. His abs tightened, his pecs became lean, his waist slimmed quickly with powerful obliques and cum gutters pointing toward his hose. Whispers started to echo in the wind as the five cultists stroked their cocks, streams of black, tar-like slime coalescing into pools at their feet.

"You will be a father of my spawn, a carrier of my seed." Cameron continued to pump the massive dick, watching with malicious glee as his arms grew sinewy and lean, his hands large and wide, his fingers long and slender. "Today, our army is founded." The possessed stud placed his hand on the balding head of the former salesman, pushing him to his knees; his mind blank as his master's shorts slid down to his thighs, releasing a grotesque sight. Whatever his host's member used to be was long gone, now corrupted with demonic seed. It stood upright, intricate black symbols wrapping around the foot long shaft all the way to his foreskin. "Receive my blessing, mortal. Be one with me." The ripe rod inched forward, dripping thick globules of the black sludge onto Douglas' thighs as it pressed against his face. His mouth opened, and it was over.

In a single thrust, the monstrous cock pushed past his lips and deep into his throat as Cameron began to face fuck the old man. The pools of black sludge from his minions writhed toward him, engulfing his legs in their glistening form before slinking toward his tight hole. Cameron threw his head back in ecstasy, howling a thunderous and unnatural roar as his underling's seed seeped into Douglas' rear. The sounds of squelching, cracking, suction rang out as the roars began to grow louder. Each slap of his face against Cameron's bush reformed his aged face. New hairs sprouted on his scalp, a thick forest of black spreading across his head. His lips plumped as they slurped on the smelly cock, his skin tanning and all wrinkles disappearing. The last vestiges of the black sludge squeezed into his hole, and with a wicked, fiendish grin the possessed stud cursed out into the open desert air:

"WE... ARE... ONE!" 'Cameron' released his gift down into his new son's throats, a torrent of black seed rushing out of his length and into Douglas' transformed body. His veins started to flush dark, until an inky blackness had sprawled across his lean, taut figure. Whatever remained of Douglas sunk into a void of darkness, only to be encompassed by the viscous corruption. 'Cameron' grinned, his will quickly overwhelming the spirit of the old man before slipping his demonic essence within it. More and more of him flooded into the body, squeezing into the soul, until it was unclear where Douglas began and 'Cameron' ended. Dismounting his new creation, he watched with glee as the convulsions died down, and it's eyes opened, revealing an endless inky black as it grinned.

"Yes, my master, this vessel shall fit our needs quite nicely." As his eyes slowly started to return to their normal hazel, the corruptive sludge within his veins reformed, pushing upward through the capillaries and into the skin, now little more than tattoos to the naked eye. 'Cameron' grinned, another human ensnared into his dark consciousness, little more than a husk to house his essence.

'Dougie' smirked as he pulled up his fetid shorts, quickly masking his cock dripping the black sludge of his master and brothers as he threw his sweaty arms around his new family, walking toward their new army.

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"Alright, Santa Fe! Are we ready to get fit?" The crowd erupted as Cameron stood before them, his arms raised on the roof of the building, grinning over the 200 new disciples he was prepared to imbue with his gift. Those who had been with him at Socorro stood silently amongst the unsuspecting enthusiasts, ready to 'assist' their 'ascension' should the need arise. Just beside the building, his sons had gathered behind the truck in a circle, chanting words beyond our most vivid imagination as they stroked eachother's musky cocks into the large vat of water. 'Dougie', now a favorite of Cameron, devilishly grinned as he felt the first torrent of his corruption spew into the clear water, the thick black sludge slithering about before dissolving into the liquid as if it were never there. Round after round, they shot their father's seed into water, until there was more of the seed than there was of the water.

"Alright, brothers. I think that should do it." His deep, bellowing voice brought each of his brothers attention on him as they put their cocks back into their shorts. "Hah, and not a minute too soon." The crowd of feckless initiates began to line up, in desperate need of hydration, of which 'Dougie' was more than happy to provide. He hopped up onto the bed of the truck, as his brothers ladled their refreshment into individual bottles. Snatching one, 'Dougie' snickered. "Who's thirsty?"

[silverwhittlingknife]

So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!

No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)

25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim

This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:

WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3

Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)

I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!

Below the cut:

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)

On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)

Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)

I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)

I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)

1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)

2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)

3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)

4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)

5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)

On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)

6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)

7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)

8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)

9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)

10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)

Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)

11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)

12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)

13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)

14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)

15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)

I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)

16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)

17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)

17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)

18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)

19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)

I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)

20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)

21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)

22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)

23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)

24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)

25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)

Final rambling thoughts:

TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.

SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.

And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf

All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.

But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!

Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.

And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --

-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3

[jackhues]

CHILD OF DIVORCE - PADDOCK PASS, BABY [ PART SEVEN ]

in which y/n hamilton is loving how much nico talks about her dad (china 24)

[ prev ] | [ next - coming soon ] | [ notes ] | [ masterlist ]

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y/nhamilton

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, kimi.antonelli, maxverstappen1 & others

y/nhamilton: for everyone asking, yes my fav part about shanghai was obvs bullying my dad over anything and everything related to nico

tagged: valtteribottas, nicorosberg, zhouguanyu24, georgerussel63, lewishamilton

user: STOP THE WAY SHE MADE THAT HER CAPTION AND NOT A PINNED COMMENT -> user: i love her she's so us

user: everyone forgets y/n witnessed brocedes first hand -> user: not just witnessed, girlie experienced it -> user: y/n 🤝 kimi: children of brocedes divorce liked by kimi.antonelli

user: did lando give the bracelet back? -> landonorris: no. she chased me away with a broom -> y/nhamilton: i chased you because you were trying to steal something else -> landonorris: slander. lies. i will not stand for these accusations. -> y/nhamilton: then sit down boy

oscarpiastri: did you get your food? -> y/nhamilton: yeah no thanks to you. shoutout charlie -> charles_leclerc: you're welcome!

maxverstappen1: no podium pic? againnn?? this is the third time?

maxverstappen1: are you mad at me or something? now i'm getting worried -> y/nhamilton: maxie you need to calm down. the lighting's just shit -> maxverstappen1: okay. that's better -> user: stop i'm dying at how terrified he was

carlossainz55: ✋✋ -> y/nhamilton: 🤞🤞

user: i love the angle of the nico pic -> y/nhamilton: thanks babe

doriane.pin: thanks for not posting that ugly facetime pic! -> y/nhamilton: i'd never embarrass you like that bestie -> olliebearman: but you'd embarrass me like that?? -> y/nhamilton: duh

nicorosberg: i thought you said you're not posting that picture -> y/nhamilton: that was the 0.5 one. i have free reign with this one

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TAGLIST: @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @somepoplemaybe , @nothaqks , @theforevermorereject , @thatonesblog , @devilstunoda , @xoscar03 , @mess-is-my-aesthetic , @d3kstar , @bwormie , @ietts , @sapphiccloud , @helaenatargaryensfavoritebug , @urfavsgf , @raevyng , @khaylin27 , @champomiel , @nikfigueiredo , @danabom1633 , @sugarvibez , @topgunmav1df1 , @alliwantisadonut , @screamforstark , @lifewasawillow , @woozarts , @e-nonsense , @bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , @stinkyjax , @certifiedlesbianbaddie , @ecsta-ccy , @formulaonebuff <3

send a message/comment/ask to be added to the taglist!

NOTE: sorry for the long wait, i am for sure continuing this series, just might take a while to catch up :( don't forget to like + reblog <3

[everythingispirates]

🏴‍☠️lowlyseaman

I love not having scurvy 👍

1 note

🦢w3nch

breaking mutuals with @/forgeguy don't ask me about it this is the last I'll say on the matter

🍹jackoff follow

omg did something happen :(

🦢w3nch

shut the fuck up never fucking talk to me again I'm so srs

🍹jackoff follow

kys

12 notes

🦢w3nch

i miss him so fucking much i can't fucking do this anymore

2 notes

🩻bigbarbie

this fucking meeting sucks I'm going to firebomb shipwreck cove

67 notes

👁️raspghetti

little life update I feel like I'm honestly really coming around on this prosthetic eye idk it's really starting to feel like a part of me now :') I hope I never have to lose it or anything

0 notes

🇬🇧kingofenglandofficial follow

piracy is a SCOURGE on these seas!!! EMBARRASSING!

🏴‍☠️iheartstealing follow

give me your stuff

☠️quarterdeckmain follow

omg I can't believe we still have piracy antis on this website to this day like this is literally the high seas piracy website go back to ye olde twitter

🩻bigbarbie

"piracy antis" girl that's the king of england

12,429 notes

⚔️forgeguy

I can't keep going like this I can't believe I did that to her I'm such a failure I should just kms like I literally don't deserve to be on this earth

⚔️forgeguy

just remembered some things. nevermind lol

⚔️forgeguy

remembered some more things and I want to die again I was so fucking wrong

4 notes

🍹jackoff follow

and when I drop the ***** aka ********* receipts then what. lol. lmao even

🦢w3nch

bitch give us a fucking vowel

🩻bigbarbie

yeah um just so everyone knows op literally shot me on isla de muerta so I'm really not interested in their receipts

🎣humblefisherman follow

what the fuck is going on on pirate ye olde tumblr

572 notes

🍹jackoff follow

everyone keeps calling me a liar they just hate to see a wench who tells it like it is

⚔️forgeguy

literal 100+ pages ye olde google doc of times op has lied

104 notes

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

you would actually not believe how much harder it is to girlblog when your fingers are turning into fucking shrimp or whatever

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

captain has it fucking easy

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

they're gonna whip me for this one lads :/

5 notes

🦢w3nch

anyone else riddled by guilt? clap if you're riddled by guilt

2 notes

🦀 follow

the second I'm free of this stupid flesh prison I'm putting a curse on this entire fucking website

🦐morehumblerfisherman follow

op what the fuck is this why do you not have an url

🦀 follow

the sea will claim you in five years. use your remaining time wisely

🦐morehumblerfisherman follow

sure yeah whatever. I'll fucking do that I guess.

196 notes

🏴‍☠️lowlyseaman

got scurvy 👎

0 notes

[incorrectbatfam]

What are their go to conversation starters?

Alfred: Lesson #18 of behaving like a human being: initiating conversations.

Alfred: At a formal event, you are expected to engage with others in an appropriate manner. For this exercise, I want you to pretend I'm a guest and impress me.

Dick: Good evening, sir. I really appreciate you being here. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask.

Dick: *smiles and gives Alfred a firm handshake*

Alfred: Excellent job, except one thing.

Alfred, holding up his arm: It was not necessary to take my watch. You're not a mission, Master Dick.

Dick: But what if I am?

Alfred: That's a lesson for another day. Next.

Jason: Now, hypothetically, if a very bad man killed your son, wouldn't YOU—

Alfred: That's enough. Next.

Tim: My name's Tim and I'm afraid of wasps because they have a photographic memory of all who wronged them.

Alfred: Dismissed. Next.

Damian: *walks away to play with the dog*

Alfred: We'll come back to him. Next.

Duke: Wanna beta-read my Luke Fox Final Fantasy MMA AU fanfic?

Cullen: Wanna beta-read my Destiel Superhell fix-it fanfic?

Alfred: Next.

Steph: Last night I dreamt I was a waffle, but I was also the plate and the fork and myself eating the me-waffle.

Alfred: That's disturbing, next.

Cass: *stares*

Alfred: You are supposed to say something.

Cass: Something.

Alfred, sighing: Next.

Barbara: Hi, I'm Barbara. You must be Alfred, right? How are you liking the party?

Alfred, acting: I'm enjoying it very much, thank you.

Barbara: Okay, so you didn't notice me remotely disabling an army of robot cockroaches. Phew!

Alfred: We were so close. Next.

Harper: Can you believe it? Some asshole disabled my robo-roaches.

Alfred: For the last time, Miss Harper, no robotic insects at galas. Next.

Carrie: Hello, sir. Can I get you anything?

Alfred, acting: A glass of water would be nice.

Carrie: Sure thing. One cup of locally sourced water, coming right up.

Alfred: Never mind. Next.

Kate: Your daughter is hot.

Alfred: Wrong answer. Next.

Helena: Tell me everything you know about the Maroni family or so help me—

Alfred: Different script, Miss Helena. Please turn to page 67 for gala conversations.

Luke: What does it mean when someone you know sends you their fanfiction about yourself?

Alfred, rubbing his temples: Next, please.

Bette: Head's up!

Bette: *spikes a volleyball*

Alfred, catching it: Next.

Selina: Wanna see pictures of my cats?

Bruce: Wanna see pictures of my kids?

Alfred:

Alfred: I think we should start again from the top.

[6okuto]

gn!reader | iwaizumi will do a lot of things if you ask, but he's always a little awkward and embarrassed about taking photos of himself. what angle does he use, why's the lighting so bad, this is his "no one will see me" t-shirt, does his smile look forced, etc, etc., which means you only ask every once and a while, mostly as a joke, and never mind when he brushes it off with a laugh.

so when you open your messages to see an unprompted selfie of him, blurry, sitting in dim light, cheeks flushed and biting his lip to stop a grin, shocked is one word you can use to describe yourself. apparently drunk hajime is different from sober hajime, and confident enough to send a second, third photo capturing his night out with his old teammates at karaoke.

and you're not sure if it was their idea or his, but you really can't bring yourself to complain when he accidentally sends a video instead of a photo that perfectly frames his slightly unbuttoned top, messy hair that he runs his fingers through (he's brought up needing a haircut every week for the past month, but keeps pushing off setting an appointment), and raspy laugh as he tells someone off screen to shut up and sing already before turning to you with a smile.

"oh, shit, it's a video."

"pft, are you really that drunk?"

"hiii," someone—you think tooru—singsongs your name.

another complains, his voice muffled by your boyfriend moving the camera, "ugh, can you move over?"

"hi babe." hajime's low, slurred voice brings your attention back to him. "i got 94 on m'last song, jus' so y'know.

"let it go! that was all luck—"

"shut up, it's not my fault y'got 67 and sound like a dying bird. ugh," he seems to lose his train of thought and sniffles. "uh...don't worry, issei's driving m'back. i'll tell you 'bout it when i get home. see you soon, alright? love you."

the video ends, cutting off the beginning of a voice crack and off-pitch note, and the responding cackle that momentarily fills the quiet of your living room.

it's not a hard decision to save everything he's sent to your phone. the real hard decision will be tomorrow, you think, when you have to decide between teasing him to death or helping with his hangover. but then you get another notification—another text from him that reads "Cany ou tell them i'm not gonna sing adell" and you smile.

you can probably do both.

(he does end up singing, but so does everyone else. the video you get is way too loud, and way too close to the microphone, and the phone falls to the floor at some point, but it's saved to your gallery anyway. he makes you promise not to play it the next morning because it's "so headache inducing he could explode.")

[magicalbunbun]

I'm just here for your art

So I don't really care if their associated with bad people/fandoms as long as you don't support them

So yes!

I would love to see your DSMP Y/N

Meet the !watcher!

The lore:

Y/n is a viewer, they represent those who watch the streams, they don't talk.

Every time someone starts streaming y/n show up scaring the shit of the person, they only look for a while before disappearing. No one knows why they do it but is creepy, some call her a stalker, others call him the watcher or red eye.

Relationships:

Tommyinnit-32% you guys are on line, he is scared ever since he meet you on the smp.

Tubbo-27% trying to talk with you but is hard since you don't talk.

Fundy-18% very scared of the watcher, quickly runs off.

Niki-47% she is sweet, you don't mind her as she sometimes scream at you for appearing behind her.

Philza-62% somehow isn't scared, mostly start to follow you around, litte annoying but you somehow like it.

Sapnap-25% doesn't know how to feel about you but sometimes get scared by you.

Badboyhelo-42% when you appear he suddenly stops everything and waits for you to disappear (he is scared to move)

Dream- 09% he starts to run away from you, you don't like him and so dose he.

George-13% he also runs off but quickly throws a golden apple your way to make sure you get distracted.

(Respect for this god)Technoblade- 98% also not scared of you, both have massive respect for eachother (you are very respectfull for him)

Karl-__% he quickly forgets about you.

Ranboo-53% somehow he can't forget about you, is like you are stuck in his head, when he sees you he just look at you and gave some golden apples, he doesn't know why tho.

Eret-67% every time he sees you he quickly smiles and is trying to put on you pride bows(you don't mind it)

Wilbur(not the real one. Only his character. ) -21% both just stare at eachother for a while before he goes back to what he was doing.

Sam- 19% he gets scared when he sees you but quickly cover it with blank face.

Foolish-51% sees ya and starts to dance around you before you disappear.(you found it funny)

quackity-18?% somehow starts speaking Spanish at you so you just disappear.

Others: -------00%

/Author note/

I do not support dream or wilbur, any who did bad stuff.

I have massive respect for technoblade.

[hoosbandewan]

For kicks and giggles (and because HotD season two has been really getting on my nerves), I went through episodes 1-5 to see just how much screen time Aemond has gotten so far. You know, since he's a "main character" this season.

And, with only three episodes left, surely it's been a fair chunk of time. Surely he's had more screen time in five episodes than he did in three episodes last season?

Get ready because it's pretty diabolical.

Let me preface this with the fact that I was EXTREMELY generous when it came to counting Aemond's screen time. I included shots of the back of his head, shots where he's blurry and in the background, and shots where he's blurry, in the background, AND it's the back of his head. Even Ewan's hands and boots made it into the total count. Tiny CGI Aemond on the back of Vhagar is also in the mix.

Episode 1 158 seconds / 2.63 minutes (64 minutes total run time)

Episode 2 123 seconds / 2.05 minutes (72 minutes total run time)

Episode 3 96 seconds / 1.6 minutes (70 minutes total run time)

Episode 4 159 seconds / 2.65 minutes (56 minutes total run time)

Episode 5 168 seconds / 2.8 minutes (67 minutes total run time)

704 seconds = 11.73 minutes

For fun, let's compare this total to season one:

Ewan as Aemond had 13.50 minutes of screen time / 3 episodes Aemond altogether had 26.45 minutes of screen time / 6 episodes

I've seen more of Ewan doing press for this season than I have of Aemond in the actual show. And, as someone who was excited to see Ewan become part of the "main cast" and to see more of Aemond, I'm not happy.

Is "main character" Aemond in the room with us????

To be honest, I'm feeling pretty pissed off by the likes of Ryan Condal and whoever has been responsible for HotD press for pitching season two to Aemond/Ewan fans as a chance to see so much more of him. It seems, to me, like they've used Ewan's growing popularity to keep his fans watching only to deliver... this.

Ewan has, of course, been eating up every single second of the screen time he's been given. Talented king, this is no fault of yours <3

And... who knows... maybe episodes 6-8 will give us... oodles more Aemond screen time. She says through gritted teeth.

[mirrorball-writings]

The Catnapping

You live in Monaco, and while you miss your home, your best friend is your cat, Kiwi. Unfortunately, he goes missing, and you start to lose hope of finding him after a few weeks go by. However, you start to see more and more people mentioning a certain Formula 1 driver who they suspect knows something about your cat.

This is my first attempt at an SMAU story so please tell me if I did a good job or not. Also, this is my first story where I'm using Y/N!

Disclaimer: All photos are from Pinterest, they are not mine.

ynslittlelife

ynslittlelife days (and nights) in monaco!

liked by yourbff and others

view all 67 comments

yourbff okay you’re living my dream i’m officially jealous

ynslittlelife STOP you’re literally my it girl

isabela.monaco girl you’re my inspirationnnn

f1girls99 okay can every f1 fan agree that we want to be y/n

ynslittlelife i’ve actually never been to one of the races 😅 maybe next time?

liastudiezzz HOW you have to go to the monaco gp this year pleaseee

yourmom Aww, my little y/n is all grown up!

ynslittlelife i miss you so much mom :(

ynslittlelife

ynslittlelife i have some sad news. by now, most of you have probably seen pictures of my cat, kiwi, in some of my posts. unfortunately, i lost kiwi a couple of days ago, and i have still not found him. i’ve had him since he was a kitten, and he has been my closest friend since i moved to monaco a few months ago. if anyone in the monaco area sees a beautiful tuxedo cat, please please please tell me anything you know about where he might be. i love you, my kiwi!

liked by yourmom and others

view all 25 comments

yourmom Oh no, poor Kiwi! Don’t worry honey, I’m sure you’ll find him soon.

yourbff keeping my eyes peeled.

ynslittlelife babes you don’t even live in monaco 😭

yourbff idc i’m on the lookout for any signs of kiwi

liastudiezzz noooo kiwi is so cute i hope you find him!

albon_pets

albon_pets the cat distribution system chose us once again 🫡 everyone welcome Moose to the Albon family!

liked by alex_albon and others

view all 160 comments

charles_leclerc welcome to the Albon family, Moose

albon_pets thank you Charles for the enthusiasm

georgerussell63 Omg so cute! Are you bringing him to the next race?

albon_pets yes he will be there!

ynslittlelife

ynslittlelife more old pictures of kiwi because i miss him so much :(

liked by yourbff and others

view all 44 comments

yourbff officially crying about kiwi

ynslittlelife me too thank you for your solidarity

ilikecaras dear f1 girls, should we say something

mia_miami i feel like we should…

sof1a.8 say something about what?

ilikecaras alex’s new cat looks like kiwi

albon_pets

albon_pets Moose and Alex are ready for the race!

liked by georgerussell63 and others

view all 410 comments

georgerussell Does Moose have his drivers license?

albon_pets moose will not be driving the car

lewishamilton Moose and Roscoe should meet while he’s here!

albon_pets yes please!

norrissgarage I think you guys should talk to @/ynslittlelife because Moose looks just like her old cat Kiwi that she lost

ynslittlelife

ynslittlelife studying up on cars

liked by alex_albon and others

view all 124 comments

yourbff please don’t tell me you’re going to a race without me

ynslittlelife okay i won’t (it was a last minute thing)

yourbff WHAT DO YOU MEAN LAST MINUTE?

liastudiezzz i love how she’s always so cryptic like yesss girl never tell us the whole story

m_ana_co literally like is this related to the f1 driver she’s talking to i need to know

ynslittlelife

ynslittlelife first ever grand prix in the books!

liked by alex_albon and others

view all 268 comments

yourbff it looks so fun!! i can’t even be mad that you went without me anymore

ynslittlelife trust me i wish i could’ve taken you

yourbff next time 🤝

mia_miami OMG LUCKY!! and a paddock pass too?!

isabela.monaco i know this girl is literally living my dream

liastudiezzz right?? i want to be y/n in my next life

alex_albon so good to finally meet you!

ynslittlelife you too!! thanks for inviting me into your garage lol

williamsracing Thanks for making our garage so lively this weekend!

ynslittlelife thank you for explaining racing to me because i don’t know anything 😭

williamsracing anytime 🫡

alex_albon and ynslittlelife

alex_albon happy reunions 🥹

Please please let me know if this was good because I have never done an SMAU before!! But if you liked it I will definitely do more in the future. Also let me know if you're interested in a part two perhaps...?

[kar1nsworldx]

Chrismd with a massive crush on arsenal or Chelsea super league player 😩

Eyes on the target

pairing: ChrisMD x f!reader Instagram!AU SUMMARY: fans slowly realise that a certain youtuber has a crush on their favourite female football player requested: yessir! my apologies anon that it took so long to post, but I really hope that you like this! I tryed to write it as long as i could x AUTHOR'S NOTE: loved writing this and I hope anon that you got what you wanted! Please do send more requests, I'd love to write more <3

ˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 🧸ྀི

ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩

y/n l/n

liked by arsenalwfc, ksi and 67, 552 others

y/n l/n: what a night to be a gunner 😍

tagged: @arsenalwfc

.

COMMENTS;

leahwilliamsonn: get it ❣️

bethmead_: iconic night? I think yes xxx

ksi: went to the game, absolute banger of a goal

y/n l/n: haha tysm, big fan of your lots videos x

use4r: lmaoo did not expect ksi to be here 💀💀

kimlittle1990: a screamer was scored tonight 💋

y/n l/n: all thanks to you 😍😍

katie_mccabe11: ❤

caitlinfoord: ❤

laiacodina5: ❤

y/nily: what a player

user101: were so happy to have you y/n, welcome to the club <3

Tap to load more...

y/n l/n

liked by caitlinfoord, chrismd10 and 72,832 others

y/n l/n: thank you everybody for such a wonderful night and season!! much love for you all - 24/25. see you soon ❣️

tagged: @arsenalwfc

.

COMMENTS;

drinkprime: 🔥🔥🔥

caitlinfoord: 🫂🫂🫂

user777: y/n do you accept my hand in marrige? 🤲💍

y/n l/n: mmmm maybe one day, but atm I think I have someone on my mind, I'm sorry 🫂

user777: AHHHHH YOU REPLIED HOLY SHIT

useroo: who is on your mind exactly miss y/n?? 🤨🤨

y/n l/n: mmm i don't know, I think I'll keep that a secret for now 🤭😚🤫

useroo: ULQDBDIXCIAOKSBCJCJJXNDBEJOWJDNC

y/nmarryme: y/n i love you 🗣

arsenalwfc: thank you y/n!

chrismd10: miss l/n everybody 💪🔥

y/n l/n: chriss 💪😍

xeuserxe: umm.... okay 🤨

us3r: the emonji combo????????

katie_mccabe11: the woman herself, y/n l/n 💋😍

y/n l/n: katie my love 💋💋💋

katie_mccabe11: 🫂🫂🫂

Tap to load more...

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, miniminter and 56,892 others

y/n l/n: just because the season ended dosen't mean my love for football did ☺️ new youtube video coming out in 3 days everybody xxx 🌟

.

COMMENTS;

xeuserxe: AHHHH can't wait to see it!!! 😚

user111: mmmmmm whos that in the third picture? 🤨🤨🤨

y/n l/n: you'll find out soon enough xx

user111: 🤨🤨🤨

drinkprime: 🔥🔥🔥

y/n l/n: prime 🤝 me

ksi: hell yeah ❤

us3r: sidemen x y/n video when???!???

sidemen: 👀🤫

useroo: WAIT WHAT

chrismd10: sick video coming out soon 🔥

y/n l/n: yessir 🗣

userly: chris how would you know that its a good video 🤨🤨🤨

usermybeloved: something is going on between them I just know it

laiacodina5: you just can't stay away from the stadium can you?

y/n l/n: you know I can't lovely 😚

user505: MOTHERRRR 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

y/n l/n: CHILDDDD 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

user505: OHMYGOD YOU ACTUALLY RESPONDED I AM SCREAMING WHAT THE FUCK AAHWWHDUCEHJCCHHCHCHDHJC

Tap to load more...

.

chrismd10

liked by y/n l/n, georgeclarkeey and 562,777 others

chrismd10: England's national darlings and @y/n l/n

tagged: @bukayosaka87 @y/n l/n

.

COMMENTS;

y/n l/n: Christopher count your days

chrismd10: yes dear, of course dear ❤

user444: LMAOOOO WHAT

userly: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

useredup: istg somethings deffinitly up theyre fighting like an old married couple

bukayosaka87: ❤

y/n l/n: my photo creds??? where????

chrismd10: sorry gorgeous, forgot to mention that ❤

y/n l/n: mhm, sure sure 🙄❤

user777: THE HEARTS??? "GORGEOUS"????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

useroo: this was not on my 2024 bingo card

miniminter: lucky bastard

theobaker_: @y/n l/n be advised that prick never gives photo credits

y/n l/n: thank you for the information theo x

chrismd10: mate shut up

arthurtv: can I come next time? I want to met y/n too :(

chrismd10: no

y/n l/n: christopher you better bring him too next time

chrismd10: yes ma'am

arthurtv: yay!

y/n l/n: 🫂

xeuserxe: BAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

user505: y/n is becoming arthurs parent confirmed

us3r: I love them

userly: AGHHHHHH THE CAT IS SO CUTE WTF????????

Tap to load more...

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arthurtv

liked by georgeclarkeey, tobjizzle and 102,732 others

arthurtv: mama y papa - chris actually took me to meet the legend herself, y/n l/n!! 🎉

tagged: @y/n l/n @chrismd10 @mycoffee:)

.

COMMENTS;

y/n l/n: ARTHURRRRRRRR :))))) 🫂🫂🫂🫂

arthurtv: Y/NNNNNNNNNN :))))) 🫂🫂🫂🫂

chrismd10: why are you never this nice to me

y/n l/n: fuck off chris

chrismd10: ...

user111: AAWHWHHAHSBXJC THEYRE SO CUTE

user101: I LOVE THEM BAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

chrismd10: yea yea youre welcome mate

georgeclarkeey: boyfriend come see me soon :(

arthurtv: george were not boyfriends! but yes i'll come over tomorrow (:

reevhd: cuties

user505: MAMA Y PAPA, MAMA Y PAPA

useredup: arthur became chris's and y/n's offical child, its confirmed

y/nily: arthurtv thank you for this beautiful pictures of y/n

user777: y/n once again I am asking, do you accept my hand in marrige 💍🤲

chrismd10: she does not.

user777: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA WTF?????

xeuserxe: JELOUS CHIRS????? HELLO????

useroo: I love how Arthur tagged his coffee in the 3rd picture :((((( 🫂

Tap to load more...

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y/n l/n

liked by jackgrealish, laiacodina5 and 102,652 others

y/n l/n: to my suprise my photographer isn't such a shitty photographer as I thought he'd be

.

COMMENTS;

user444: MOTHER IS MOTHERING

chrismd10: 🔥🔥🔥

user101: BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA SAME CHRIS SAME

useredup: chris youre so real for that

y/n l/n: 😍

useroo: and may we know who this photographer is?

useroo: and do we know of him by any chance???

y/n l/n: 🤷‍♀️🤫🤭

useroo: AGHHHHHH Y/N SAY SOME ACTUAL INFORMATION PLEASE

y/n l/n: nuh uh

useroo: FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK MEEEEEEEE

useredup: @useroo is having a mental breakdown, love to see it

useroo: 😐

laiacodina5: pretty girl

y/n l/n: says you! xxx

katie_mccabe11: literally marry me

y/n l/n: 💋💋💋

chrismd10: im suprised hes even dealing with you considering youre quite a prick

y/n l/n: oh fuck off ya twat

chrismd10: my point has been proven ladies and gentlemen, goodnight

y/n l/n: shut the fuck up (affectionate)

userly: #fav-old-married-couple

user444: i love them

Tap to load more...

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chrismd10

liked by calfreezy, behzingagram and 232,752 others

chrismd10: theres a silly goose in the last picture, spoiler alert; it's not me!

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COMMENTS;

behzingagram: peng

y/n l/n: 😍

s1demenl0ver: HAHAHAHAHA LITERALLY ME

user101: Y/N IS SO FUCKING REAL

useroo: hm.. 😶🤨

chrismd10: 🔥🔥🔥

calfreezy: brother ditched us

userly: ARE YALL SEEING THE 3RD PIC?????????

user505: I AM LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS THAT WITH HIM?????????

userly: I DONT HAVE A CLUE

useroo: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

theburntchip: what a man

y/n l/n: I feel bad for that poor girl, because shes the one dealing with YOU, ya fucking twat

chrismd10: shut up ya prick

userly: as I said, their my #fav-old-married-couple

wroetoshaw: nice mate

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chrismd10 added to their story;

⤷ y/n l/n liked chirsmd10's story! ♡

⤷ y/n l/n: twat

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y/n l/n added to their story;

⤷ chrismd10: I literally hate you

⤷ y/n l/n: Ily2!

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lionesses

liked by vikkstagram, calfreezy and 532,477 others

lionesses: we proudly announce that the lionesses have qualified for the euros, thanks to y/n l/n's hattrick! ❤

tagged: @y/n l/n

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COMMENTS;

arsenalwfc: y/n l/n everybody! ❤

y/n l/n: 💋💋💋

chrismd10: LETS GOOOO Y/N!!!! @y/n l/n 🔥

y/n l/n: CHRISSSSSSSSSS 😚❣️💋

behzingagram: get inn 💪

arthurtv: Y/NNNNNNNN 🌟

y/n l/n: ARTHUR 🫂🫂🫂

calfreezy: thats how its done 💪🙏

katie_mccabe11: MISS Y/N EVERYONE

y/n l/n: love ya irish 😚 🇨🇮

leahwilliamsonn: love ya @y/n l/n ❤❤❤

y/n l/n: love you too bae 😍

laiacodina5: thats my girl!!

y/n l/n: 🫂🫂🫂

theburntchip: yes lass 💪

georgeclarkeey: yessir

ksi: 🙏

tobjizzle: ❤

philfoden: congrats! 💙

jackgrealish: well done ladies 💙💙

rico.lewis: 💙

wroetoshaw: very nice

kylewalker2: 💙

johnstones5: 💙

miniminter: 🔥

drinkprime: thats how its done 🔥

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y/n l/n

liked by arsenalwfc, arthurtv and 60,854 others

y/n l/n: Pre-season in the states 🇺🇲

tagged: @arsenalwfc @kyracooneyx

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COMMENTS;

usermybeloved: y/n in her editing era 🔥

user007: lets goooo

arthurtv: good luck y/n!

y/n l/n: thank you arthur!

arthurtv: :)

chrismd10: yea yea good luck ya prick 🔥

y/n l/n: thank you twat 😚

kyracooneyx: 💪💪💪

arsenalwfc: glad to have you back l/n! 😉🙌

theobaker_: lets gooooooo arsenal ❤

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, drinkprime and 91,576 others

y/n l/n: Third kit is a charm ❤ #coyg

tagged: @arsenal @arsenalwfc @adidasfootball

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COMMENTS;

userly: stunning stunning girl xx

useredup: ahhhhhh you look so good!!!

adidasfootball: 💪😉

chrismd10: fucking peng

y/n l/n: 💋💋💋

user101: OH???!?????? 🤨👀

us3r: EXCUSE ME

user2.0: OHMAGAWD

drinkprime: 🔥🔥🔥

arsenal: looking good miss l/n 💪

y/nily: y/n look bad in a kit challange (impossible)

user777: y/n pls marry me? 💍🤲

chrismd10: she says no xx

user101: BAHHAHAHAHAHA CHRIS ILY

useroo: BAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, georgeclarkeey and 78,237 others

y/n l/n: is mister pickles 🥒 an icon? sources suggest that he is (sources; me, chrismd, arthurtv, georgeclarkey)!

tagged: @chrismd10 @arthurtv @georgeclarkeey

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COMMENTS;

chrismd10: hes more iconic than you thats for sure

y/n l/n: youre going to lose your privilege to see pickles if you continue to do this christopher

chrismd10: yes ma'am, sorry ma'am

xouserxo: AAAAAAAAA I LOVE YOU TWO SO MUCH SJX

arthurtv: I'd say the sources are correct!

georgeclarkeey: that dog is one sassy little dude. i love him

xeuserxe: AHHHH HES ADORABLE

caitlinfoord: pickles is the best (:

user505: "all hail pickles" we say in unison 🗣🗣🗣

useredup: PICKLEEEEES 👹👹👹👹

y/n l/n: back off, pickles is scared 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

theburntchip: what a distinguished fellow

arsenalwfc: were missing the lil man on the pitch

chrismd10: btw i will be stealing him

y/n l/n: cunt

user007: AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, chloekelly and 137,699 others

y/n l/n: oui oui bonjour 🧸☁️

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COMMENTS;

chrismd10: do you even know what that means?

y/n l/n: En fait, je comprends ce que ça veut dire, espèce d'idiot - TRANSLATION; Actually, I understand what that means, you idiot

chrismd10: hot.

y/n l/n: HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA

xouserxo: AHHHHH PARIS 🎀🎀🎀🎀

user111: are we not going to talk about the fifth picture...?

useroo: mmm y/n whos that in the fifth picture? 🤨

y/n l/n: mmm i thinks it's..... nonya business 🤫😍😍😍😍

useroo: 😐😐😐

useredup: @useroo is so done w y/n's shit 💀😭

chloekelly: pretty ♡

y/n l/n: AGHHHHH CHLOE I LOVE YOU DBJXCLUXEFG

user007: y/n youre so real for that xjxnc 😭

user444: paris is really the city of love, right @y/n l/n ... 🤨

y/n l/n: deffinitly!! 🤭🤭🤭🤭

kyracooneyx: happiness is a good luck on you. so is being in love

y/n l/n: off with your head, youve already said to much

userly: BAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

us3r: LMAOOOOOOO KYRA GIVE US MORE INFO PLEASE

kyracooneyx: well you deffinitly know him

y/n l/n: KYRAAAAAAAAAAA

useredup: OHMYGOD I THINK MY SUSPISONS HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED THANK YOU KYRA!!!!

chrismd10: 📸📸

y/n l/n: 💋💋

y/nily: 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

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chrismd10

liked by behzingagram, wroetoshaw and 206,554 others

chrismd10: as the missus said, "oui oui bonjour 🧸"

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COMMENTS;

y/n l/n: do YOU know what that means? 😐🤨

chrismd10: oui

theburntchip: smooth fella smooth

calfreezy: nice going mate

behzingagram: happy for you ya twat

tobjizzle: ❤

y/n l/n: ily

chrismd10: ily2

Comments have been restricted.

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, zerkaa and 707,633 others

y/n l/n: god its so hard to be in a relationship with such a lovable twat ❤

tagged: @chrismd10

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y/n l/n: love ya @chrismd10

chrismd10: even more than pickles?

y/n l/n: know your fucking limits.

us3r: BAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

bambinobecky: 🥳🥳

caitlinfoord: ❣️❣️❣️

laiacodina5: whoooooooo 🌟🌟🌟

katie_mccabe11: happy for you doll xxx

y/n l/n: @useroo so it looks like nonya business was actually mr. chrismd (: sorry for all the caused breakdowns xxx

useroo: fuck me im so happy but also fuck you coudn't you have announced this before all my breakdowns miss y/n

y/n l/n: nope! 😛😝😜🤪

useroo: 😐❤

useredup: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

xouserxo: HELL YEAAAAH

arthurtv: mama y papa

y/n l/n: hello child <3!!!

chrismd10: hello.. child.

arthurtv: 😄😁

theburbtchip: about damn time

tobjizzle: soo happy for you guys ❤

y/n l/n: thank you tobi!!! ❣️

user007: WAR IS OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

user777: oh.. so thats why you wont take my hand in marrige :( BUT YAY SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS

userly: IT FINALLY HAPPENED FUCK YEAAAAS

user444: YIPPIE YIPPIE YIPPIE YIPPIE YIPPIE

user111: MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

user101: *screams in single*

usermybeloved: BEST COUPLE IN 2024 CONFIRMED

y/nily: ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

chrismd10: love you too darling ❤

y/n l/n: YAYAYAYAY

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chrismd10

liked by miniminter, arthurnfhill and 1,572,684 others

chrismd10: love you to ya prick

tagged: @y/n l/n

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COMMENTS;

ksi: congrats bro

chrismd10: thanks ksi

tobjizzle: ❤

theburntchip: as I written before, about damn time

callux: 🎉🎉

wroetoshaw: im suprised ya fucking bagged her mate, bloody hell well done

chrismd10: thanks harry

zerkaa: 💚

arthurtv: my parents are finally together :)

arthurnfhill: im impressed

miniminter: 👏👏👏

behzingagram: how the fuck did you bag her

chrismd10: actually quite easily for your information you fat prick

vikkstagram: 🌟🌟🌟

calfreezy: sap

chrismd10: shut the fuck up ya long dick

calfreezy: midget

georgeclarkeey: sigh, ive lost another boyfriend 😞

y/n l/n: it's okay pookie we'll share ❤

chrismd10: ...i did not consent to this.

us3r: my childhood youtuber getting together with my favourite female footballer was not on my 2024 bingo card

useroo: about fucking time.

s1demenl0ver: 🥳🥳🥳

useredup: congrats guys 👏

user111: ❤

user007: I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY OHMYGOD

user777: @chrismd10 will you ask y/n if she'll take my hand in marrige 💍🤲

chrismd10: she says no, AGAIN.

useredup: AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA

user444: YASSSSSS

user101: nahh but honestly chris takes really good pictures

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y/n l/n added to their story;

⤷ chrismd10 liked y/n l/n's story! ♡

⤷ chrismd10: I literally posted a cute little photodump of you and you're posting this??? Ya fucking prick

⤷ y/n l/n: l love you too ya twat! Also let me post our child ❤

⤷ chrismd10: yeah yeah whatever. i love you too ya prick ❤

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chrismd10

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurtv and 876, 543 others

chrismd10: it's possible that she likes her caps more than me..

tagged: @y/n l/n

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chrismd10: just so you all know I am not a sap, I did not know she'd post arthur on her story the moment id post her okay?? fuck off ya twats

behzingagram: sap

chrismd10: shut the fuck up

Comments have been restricted.

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y/n l/n added to their story;

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[cartierre]

ELECTRIC FEEL | ob3

SOCIAL MEDIA!AU ollie bearman x fem!reader

side note: does anyone know where to edit good fake instagram stories because i just had to edit them myself and they look so weird because i couldn't find the right font and sizes and all that

♡ liked by olliebearman,frederikvestiofficial and 7,392 others

tagged: olliebearman

yourusername get yourself a friend who takes you with them on their work trips

view all 23 comments

olliebearman my head is itchy ⤷ yourusername our guide told you to wear the keffiyeh to not get a sunburn on your scalp you idiot ⤷ olliebearman the material was itchy as well! ⤷ yourusername you just wanted an excuse for me to scratch your head

user1 are we just going to ignore the way y/n stares at ollie in the last picture? ⤷ user2 they're been friends since forever ⤷ user3 i'm usually not one to say "boys and girls can't just be friends" but those two are for sure not just friends

frederikvestiofficial i hope you take good care of my future teammate ⤷ yourusername i've been taking care of this boy since elementary school, i take my job very serious

♡ liked by yourusername, dinobeganovic_, maya_weug and 35,294 others

tagged: maya_weug, dinobeganovic_, jameswharton_official, yourusername

olliebearman training camp in the dolomite's was so fun with the ferraridriveracademy ! (and y/n snuck in as well)

view all 53 comments

yourusername i'm basically part of the driver academy, just without the driving part ⤷ olliebearman some would say driving is the important part ⤷ yourusername and yet they still keep up with me :)

user4 why is y/n literally everywhere ⤷ user5 literally like what is she even doing here?

user6 where's arthur? ⤷ user7 y/n was able to come but arthur wasn't while he's literally actually part of the academy? the sense is not sensing

♡ liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc and 6,985 others

tagged: olliebearman

yourusername my little bear is growing up

view all 38 comments

user8 obviously she's at bahrain ⤷ user9 i'm just asking myself if she goes to school. she's always travelling with ollie, where does she get her education? ⤷ user10 maybe she's being home schooled? ⤷ user11 she graduated 2022 ⤷ yourusername seeing as you're all so interested in my private life: i'm taking a gap year before going to university

olliebearman i guess i'm a big bear now ⤷ yourusername don't get ahead of yourself, you're not a formula one driver yet. until then, you remain a little bear to me! ⤷ olliebearman yes ma'am

user12 arthur what are you doing here

♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, dennis_hauger and 7,001 others

yourusername the easter bunny brought me a great gift this year

view all 45 comments

user13 the way i know this isn't ollie because he's with his family and not in monaco breaks my heart ⤷ user14 he didn't even like the post, i wonder what happened ⤷ user15 maybe you're all just reading too much into it. they were never together, she's allowed to date someone else if she wants to

♡ liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, lorenzotl and 170,389 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, lorenzotl

arthur_leclerc easter break with my family ❀

view all 365 comments

user16 excuse me, is he saying y/n's part of his family? ⤷ user17 i don't like where this is going

user18 NO MICHAEL NO THIS IS SO NOT RIGHT

yourusername thank god i took french in school ⤷ arthur_leclerc i don't know if you can call that french, mon amour (my love) ⤷ user19 NO NO NO ⤷ user20 him calling her mon amour (my love)... i cannot anymore this just feels so wrong

♡ liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc and 6,304 others

tagged: olliebearman

yourusername ollie and i are not fighting, dégage! (piss off!)

view all 67 comments

arthur_leclerc i should stop teaching you french curse words ⤷ yourusername non tu ne le feras pas (no you don't)

user21 paint me confused ⤷ user22 she's dating arthur (probably) and is still friends with ollie. what is there to be confused about? ⤷ user23 something just doesn't feel right. ollie isn't even commenting, just liking, as if he just agrees because he doesn't want y/n to be sad ⤷ user24 chill y'all, you don't know how their friendship works. ⤷ user25 not you all just assuming things you don't know about

user26 i'm just happy seeing ollie and y/n back together, no matter if it's just as friends or anything else :) ⤷ user27 jesus christ, they're JUST FRIENDS. she's literally dating arthur?