#i'm just so slow
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
So I've finally accepted the fact I'm gonna post on my blog whatever it is I'm into at this precious moment in time.
It's a silly thing to have even worried about I know, but I can't help it! I can't help but get nervous when my brain hyperfixates on an old media I love. My blog has been so vampire centric with ocs for said vampires thrown in for good measure, but as it goes there's way more stuff I obsess over and they're constantly fighting for dominance. XD
I feel like my brain is the dvd video logo bouncing off a black screen and ever part of the screen is a different fandom. And I hope to keep posting at the same rate as the bouncing logo. As almost every fandom is always there somewhere.
Yesterday it was the Lost Boys. Today it's Gravity Falls. Tomorrow it might be Hellsing. Then Good Omens. Then Renfield. X-Men. Venom. The Mummy. Helluva Boss. Overwatch. Mario. Rango. Adams Family. TMNT. Batman. Danny Phantom. Lord of the Rings. KND. My DND inspired campaign. And the half dozen other media and self sona content I've created.
#vent post#vent#I haven't dropped my favorite fandoms#I promise#I'm just so slow#fandom trash#fandom#just have fun
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
cobs destroys mephone's objectsonas
#inanimate insanity#mephone ii#ii mephone#steve cobs#mephonex#not gonna tag anyone else#I haven't slept in 24 hours the episode sent me into a frenzy#still feel like I'm freaking out now but I'm too physically tired to keep losing it over the show lol#this stupid doodle thing took me six hours to draw I don't even know why. I draw so slow it's not even funny#ii spoilers#inanimate insanity spoilers#ii 16 spoilers#oh my gosh I just realized I forgot the spoiler tags I'm so sorry
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
607 notes
·
View notes
Text
me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
590 notes
·
View notes
Text
aci art dump
#shizaya#shizuo x izaya#izaya orihara#shizuo heiwajima#durarara!!#a cheap imitation#ACI#a cheap imitation comic#i kept posting those on my priv and finding them not good enough for main but it's been a while and i love them again so: for u <3#hi i'm not dead i've just been very overwhelmed with life#i'm still working on the comic it's just very slow :sob:
611 notes
·
View notes
Text
spirk using telepathy to keep each other alive. kirk, desperate, psy-null and untrained, reaching clumsily into spock's dying mind and pulling, dragging spock's essence into himself, wrenching him forceably from the very jaws of death and holding him there through sheer strength of will, saying you can't die, i won't let you, you can't leave me, i need you, and binding him to life and to himself until it's impossible to fully separate them. spock, more skilled, carefully managing each one of kirk's vital signs - keeping his heart beating steady, his lungs drawing breath, his temperature within a safe range, all while suppressing kirk's pain, and at the same trying, vainly, to keep their minds from tying themselves inexorably together, but they're pressed too close and he can't, and he hopes that kirk will forgive him, for bonding them like this (he will, of course he will), but the alternative, letting kirk die, was - unthinkable.
#no matter which direction it goes the one who formed the bond feels so guilty about it because That's Marriage & they never got permission#and the other just looks at them and says “i would have married you the day we met if you'd only asked”#it works both ways because they are both so stupidly down bad#i think there's a special sort of devastation with telepathy like this because If They Fail - they have to feel the life drain away#you tie yourself to them and you know that if it doesn't work. if they die. it will feel like your soul has been torn from you#because you're in love! and in order to save them you've taken them into yourself and given yourself over to them#so when they die - they take you too. maybe not ALL of you but certainly part. neither one can die without tearing the other to shreds now#star trek#star trek tos#tos#spirk#james t kirk#spock#jim kirk#k/s#tbh i've got a fic (SLOWLY) cooking which features spock desperately holding kirk to life while bones (panicked) operates on him#(w/ some mcspirk vibes because bones is afraid that if he loses kirk he'll lose spock too but spock refuses to let go)#but i'm such a slow writer so. in the meantime here's this
425 notes
·
View notes
Text
Paperhatober Day 18: Space🪐
#no plot or backstory for this!#how can they breathe? idk! but they can!#just smth pretty for your eyes#often art has no deeper meaning to me than to scratch my brain good when I look at it#villainous#vilanesco#villanos#dr flug#flug#kenning flugslys#villainous dr flug#villainous flug#black hat#paperhat#paperhatober#space#outer space#galaxy#cartoon#fanart#my art#I can't lie comfortably on my tummy anymore so I'm slow with art now#this background was zero fun and way too much work for way too long for the little attention people are gonna pay to it
357 notes
·
View notes
Text
We were circling each other.
#iwtv#iwtvedit#interview with the vampire#loumand#louis de pointe du lac#armand#i'm still obsessed with this sequence of shots#there's no dialogue but so much meaning#at first louis is just covering up his distress and confusion over his hallucination of lestat#but then he gets all cocky and flirtatious and bold#and armand is clearly trying not to smile but unable to stop himself#louis' little glance around to make sure they're alone before he gets in close#his slow grin. armand entranced by it but then catching himself and withdrawing.#IT'S SO GOOD. THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD. THE ACTORS ARE SO GOOD.#that's CHEMISTRY babey!!!
583 notes
·
View notes
Text
How I feel gaining a small happy following thanks to one or two specific media related fandoms and posting something completely random and unrelated to anything I've posted before.
Fear of alienating mutuals:
_unlocked_
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I really need to consider closing shop for a while after this month. I'm just so continuously burned out and depressed that all I do is work and sleep. but never fast enough. I'm off my medications. I'm always behind. I can't draw any more. I've lost feeling for everything that makes me happy. All I ever do is try to work on non-drawn things to sell to cover all my expenses for the month.
I have savings because I've been very strict with myself this year but I'm always worried if I close shop, it won't bounce back. But I've never been in a pit like this before. My friends don't even hear from me because I'm so depressed I just can't bring myself to talk any more.
All I can really say is thank to my Patrons making things less scary right now. I'm so thankful for the patience for new art while I'm trying my best to just function. And thank you to people who've been patient with my orders from the shop. I'm trying my best
#vent#I'm sorry#gotta be up in 2 hrs to work art market.. haven't slept 😢 worked all night to get everything ready#i wish i wasn't so slow#i just don't function lately
302 notes
·
View notes
Text
#I'm just. my slow fall for mephistopheles took a hard dive in this arc lol#picked his colors from that one color pic with a different outfit he has so we'll see how wrong he will look after confirmed colors#own art#mairimashita iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#suzuki iruma#mephistopheles
323 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like F/P/S was still a pretty weird one, even by Lance's standards.
sorry for (in an ironic twist) not doing much Ride Kamens art now that it's actually started; I've been pretty slow going through it and I feel weird posting about things I'm not caught up on! though I'm. definitely gonna have to set aside some time to actually get through episode 13, after what they posted today. (w-what did they do to my Leon) (NOBODY TELL ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN) (LEOOOOOOOON)
#art#ride kamens#f/p/s#freedom/play/slam#it's probably not as dramatic as i'm imagining i'm just terrified for our sweet boy#smh can't believe leon's bald now#this is why i don't like to post before i get caught up i have NO IDEA#anyway sorry this. kind of sucks. it just made me laugh#i love the sheer absurdity that must be lance's day-to-day#it's amazing what you can get used to i guess#event chaosworlds are bizarre even for chaosworlds though#(poor shizuru...he was SO confused about the bread...)#i admit the events are one of the reasons i've been so slow at the main story#i told myself i was going to put my foot down and prioritize and not get distracted by the next event#and then they announced frilly prince froufrou tea party wisdom boys and RUINED MY LIFE#how am i supposed to get anything done when all i can think about is jou just going absolutely ham on some tiny cucumber sandwiches#how dare they do this to me
521 notes
·
View notes
Text
This little NPC is lost. The Narrator [Black] has come to guide her back to where she needs to be. [Blank Scripts AU]
I imagine Black would be a lot more tolerant toward his NPCs since they're basically just the Dungeons spawns, and by extension, his own creations.
[If you're familiar with manhwas / manhuas that features the dungeon / system genre, you'd be able to understand this AU a lot easier. The majority of my inspiration for worldbuilding came from those specific genres.]
[NOTE: 'Dungeon' is just another term for the Parable. Technically, Black owns a Dungeon and the Parable is just a small part of it. The Dungeon itself is much, much larger.]
For context, the comic below references this post about the Dungeon's children/guard dogs.
[They're more like the immune system since all they do is make sure the (body) is safe.]
[The reason the Narrator [Black] considers them his children is that the Dungeon is feeding off his energy and in turn shares the 'nutrients' to the monsters it produces, which transforms them into an image that resembles his power.]
And the old man below is Joseph!
Joseph is NOT AN NPC! He is a person who exists outside of the Dungeon!
[There are two separate 'worlds' for this AU. Inside the Dungeon (where most of the game-like stuff is happening) and the world outside (pretty much their normal world.)]
[There is a secret third world, and that's our world. Our reality.]
These characters are not actually important or anything, I just made them to make the AU feel more lively. To make a world that exists, you know?
When the Narrator [Black] first established himself in their world, he found a growing problem with homelessness. Not understanding human norms or why this has become a problem in the first place, he offers (tricks) them into working for him as janitors for the Dungeon and they accept for the money.
Most of them left after they got paid, but Joseph was one of the people who stayed. He doesn't have anywhere else to go and has no ambitions in life. He just wishes to live a peaceful life with food and a roof over his head.
Joseph defaults to referring to the Narrator [Black] with feminine terms due to his appearance despite his voice. The Narrator [Black] is not the type to care for such terms anyway so he doesn't care how other people refer to him as long as there's respect.
--------------
This post focuses more on the worldbuilding and background aspects of the AU! There are a lot more in store for the Blank Scripts AU, and I want to explore more on how the characters might interact with their surroundings and how this would work to make a world that makes sense.
It would be so cool if people made self-inserts or OCs for my AU actually. I'd love to see how you guys would work with my stuff. Play around with it like a barbie world for your little barbie dolls. Be canon compliant, be canon divergent, who cares, have fun.
#tsp blank scripts au#I REALLY HOPE I'M MAKING SENSE HERE#this AU is genuinely so big in my head#I barely know how to navigate my way around it to show bits and pieces to my audience little by little so that you get what's up first#before I just dump a truck-full of lore on top of you and expecting you to just understand what the heck I'm on about#because I'm pretty sure if I don't introduce you to the world first you're just not gonna understand what's going on half of the time#let's take it slow okay? sorry if some of these posts come off as boring#I just really love this AU and I'd love to show it to you in a presentable and palatable way so that we can both be on the same level of-#-understanding this AU together#you know what I mean?#and also because I just wanted some background/side characters interactions#tsp au#tsp oc#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp#tspud#tsp narrator#narrator tsp#my drawing museum
494 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Preferable Alternative-prologue-part 2
Start - Previous (just start) - Next
And here we go! : )
#tmnt#rottmnt#preferable alternative#my doodles#rise donnie#rise mikey#I feel like a lot of you are going to figure out exactly what's going on here before you're supposed to#but that's fine#I won't be confirming or denying it if you do#not until it's revealed in comic that is#after that oh boy do i have some very stupid jokes for you#and a lot of cool shit too#also i love drawing tails!#Especially Donnie's tail#it's so expressive!#he's just flipping and curling it around#and i love it#i should really slow down with this comic#i'm killing my hand so bad#but i'm having fun#so rip hand#the comic thanks you for your sacrifice lol
547 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay, I think it's time I talked about my Duracell Bunny/Sleepy Time scale for autistic people/people with ADHD...
So, what's the scale:
If you have autism and/or ADHD, every activity exists on a scale from Duracell Bunny to Sleepy Time (with Normal in the middle).
A Duracell Bunny activity is something that you do to an extent that most neurotypical people are exhausted just thinking about. For example, before the joints in my hands got all fucked up, I could consistently write a really high word count per day, and I would regularly see people call it impossible. And as the years have gone on, most of the people I know of who hit similar word counts have all been diagnosed as autistic and/or ADHD.
A Sleepy Time activity is one where just looking a neurotypical doing it a regular amount makes you exhausted. Where the amount of energy required to do the thing wipes you out for the rest of the day.
Different people have different Duracell Bunny and Sleepy Time activities and one thing that I've noticed a lot of autistic and ADHD people do about their Duracell Bunny activities is look at autistic/ADHD people for whom it is a Sleepy Time activity and say "well, I'm autistic/ADHD and I don't have any trouble with it, so clearly you're just making an excuse."
And this is extra annoying because ADHD/autistic Duracell Bunnies have more energy for the thing than neurotypicals, so they can end up in leadership positions and entrenching a really unhealthy environment for everyone. Including themselves - Duracell Bunnies are not always immune to burnout, so you can get a Duracell Bunny who is obviously engaging in dangerous and/or unhealthy coping mechanisms yelling at Sleepy Times who aren't because the Sleepy Times have had to firm about their boundaries from the beginning.
(In fact, sometimes people can end up in crisis because of burnout, and instead of learning anything, go right back to the level of effort that caused burnout and use their crisis as proof that they are actually worse off than the people who set boundaries and didn't end up in crisis, and that those people, therefore, just don't care enough...)
But yeah, TL;DR: Sometimes autistic/adhd people have more energy for certain activities than even neurotypicals, and these people can have a bad habit of pointing at autistic/adhd people with less energy for the activity and saying "well, if I can do it, that must mean every adhd/autistic person can" which leads to people refusing to provide accommodations, or shaming people who cannot show up in the same ways
#also please i am exhausted if you have a smart comment about the battery bunny wars please just keep it to yourself#i picked the first one that came to my head#so no fucking 'well actually i think of the duracell bunny as slow because in the energizer adverts-'#that's not the point and i'm too tired to deal with you just joking
253 notes
·
View notes
Text
I rewatched Zuko and Azula's Agni Kai recently and it's left me wondering – when Zuko begins to goad Azula into striking him with lightning, was he making the decision to kill her?
Because had Azula shot lightning directly at him like he planned and not at Katara, the most forthright implication to me is that he was intending to strike Azula with her own lightning. And Azula, for all her mastery, would not have been able to counter that.
On the other hand, maybe he wasn't planning to kill her at all and was simply planning to redirect it elsewhere (similar to what he did with Ozai). But given the tone of tragedy throughout the Agni Kai, the fact that they both acknowledge that this fight will be "the end" to them, I don't think it's inaccurate to read Zuko's actions as him preparing to kill Azula, even though an Agni Kai doesn't have to end with death (and in canon it didn't). Also, why goad her into striking him with lightning if he wasn't planning on doing something intentional with it? If anything, it adds another layer to the tragedy to me, because I don't believe Zuko wants to kill her. And it stands in such contrast to the way that Azula desperately wants to kill him.
I also think that there would have even been something sadly poetic in that sort of demise for Azula should the Agni Kai had gone this direction: Azula, struck down by her preferred sub-skill. Azula, struck down by the very bolt of lightning that she intended to kill her brother with. Azula, struck down by her own power.
#I'm just so curious to Zuko's state of mind during this Agni Kai#maybe I'm slow on the uptake and everyone's gonna be like: obviously he was trying to kill her#but it just... never occurred to me#Like I knew he brought up lightning redirection as an intentional goad?#but I never really thought about what his planned outcome was given how the fight ends up panning out#Also Zuko's perspective when it comes to killing is interesting to me#because morally he's not against it!!#He thinks Ozai should die#And tells Ozai that the reason that he's not going to kill him (during the eclipse) is because of optics/politics (its the avatar's duty)#he thinks that had Katara killed her mother's killer it would have been a form of justice#(or maybe he was just referring to the act of her confronting him idk that whole convo is very ambiguous at times lol)#and yet AND YET he still reached out to save Zhao in season 1 despite Zhao having tried to kill him#he seems shocked (unsettled?) by the idea that Azula might die when she's falling from the airship and that's what?#days? a few weeks before the Agni Kai?#(and sure that reaction could just be shock that she would die so... randomly? but still)#Its just so fascinating#and so tragic#atla#zuko
259 notes
·
View notes