#i'm just like out as a lesbian now
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gonna be real guys i like taylor swift's music but i don't particularly identify as a swiftie i fear i don't like men enough for that anymore
#it's not abt taylor being anti-women or whatever#i'm just like out as a lesbian now#and i don't relate to her songs as much cuz they're about female loving male relationships#and also the community is pretty toxic#i fear this might be character development#the 2024 development is crazy#anyways um
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I do enjoy dressing her entirely in canon outfits/cuts and the occasional top she's borrowed from nami and being like ye canon!sanji sure does own a pair of 3/4 pants with ballerina loafers he sure did wear that before with his whole cishet man ass and we didn't bat a single eye at it
#one piece#trans!sanji#sanji#sanami#zosan#nami#zoro#the two wolves that live in my head are in constant conflict between#'trans!sanji should be butch to live the gnc trans lesbian dream and to maintain the previous wardrobe sensibilities'#and 'canon!sanji is visibly straining against the limitations of male fashion she'd be way more femme than u think once freed from them'#like I feel like I'm not doing sanji as a character justice if I only ever dress her in the butchest possible stuff#but also god it'd be boring to just dress her straight-passing#I think we're going with 'dresses comfy at home and for practicality and goes all out femme when an occasion presents itself'#edit: it's not fucking showing this on my feed why tumblr it's fully sfw why are you like this I can't cut this one up to solve it aaahh#I tried different file format and resizing it and neither one worked smh#update: I cropped like 5 FUCKING PIXELS off the edges and it solved it WHY IS IT LIKE THIS TUMBLR WHY#is nami's hair now tangenting with the border oh boy it sure is but alas tumblr won't let me show you this post otherwise apparently smh
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today i realized i could draw anything i want, so.
i drew myself a girlfriend
#cow is poly like me so i can draw infinite partners for it and i don't know why i havent capitlized on that yet#also not technically today i posted this like two days ago to my alt twtt but its sfw so i can post it here too#my art#sketch#oc: cow#furry#anthro#fursona#furry fandom#clean furry#oc#the original idea was a butch bull w a weird gender but then i realized i was attracted to her so. mine now#living out that one post thats like#a gay dude and a lesbian who are BEST friends and also dating the same person but not#each other because they are a gay dude and a lesbian but their mutual partner has a weird enough gender for it to work#its me i'm the mutual partner with a weird enough gender#aweaaeeaA#no name for the bull yet btw but i might just call her bull to match w cow lol
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Family ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Siffrin#Isabeau#Mirabelle#Odile#I have not been able to stop drawing Sif's black ensemble under their cloak ever since I learned about it#The cutest#His favourite colour is black and he wears all black and he dyed his hair black so now it's two-tone!#Stopppp that's too cute#Got curious and yes - fully black-haired Sif is Very cute <3 Contrast lad#Pls gentle touches to Sif they deserve soft holds <3#I'm really happy with their hand expressions there ah Isa's big hands and Sif's small and cute#They love each other!! However whichever way <3#The posing for Sif and Mira is awkward because I was trying to draw the one with them hugging and failed lol#So they're just existing in proximity and happy about it <3 Just being together is fun!#I do love Sif getting practice in on positive touch but also just being nearby and being happy <3#Good company for certain#Can you tell I'm less practiced at drawing Odile so far lol#She is pretty <3 I didn't fully understand the lesbian catnip comments at first but I think I get it now lol#Her flyaways are probably my favourite hehe <3 Gotta draw her with crows feet sometime! Lovely ♪#I love her watching out for the younger members of the party in her cool and dry way hehe - Sif is sleepy! But he needs a push to go nap#There's the hug yaaay <3#I like everyone's outfits very much but I will admit to not using references when I drew Mira :'D More the vibes of her clothes lol#I'll draw them proper sometime!#Odile's outfit is very pretty <3 I love all the allusions to gems ah it's so cool#Such a lovely bunch!
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Ian and the twice-divorced gray-eyesed rift Ian from the first chapter of @reblogincarnation-blues's fic!
anyways the closest experience I've had to the the feeling of reading the second chapter is taking my roommate to the ER for four hours for suspected appendicitis only to come back with a UTI diagnosis and an antibiotic prescription. and it breaks your one year streak of roommates getting appendicitis. in a good way.
#he looks like a lesbian clown#i know he wasn't married but#every time i referred to him in my head#he's twice divorced to me#if anyone disagrees i'll divorce him a third time#ian beale#transcendence au#reincarnation blues#gravity falls au#tau art#i've had this done for a while just posting this now#anyways I have officially run out of buffer#:(#no more finished pieces for a damn while probably#i'll hopefully have doodles and wips to pad out the time#eggsistential is cooking something#i'm going insane#oouuuuaggghhh#the burnout is looming#going to be forced to take a break second week of July#and I NEED to be able to pick it up after#biggest fear as always is giving up#it's been just over a week of working on this#and I'm two days behind schedule already#gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#if you made it this far in my tag rant#i owe you a cookie#my art#digital art#fan art
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Completed the Shenkuu Stamp collection some time ago, so it was only fair to draw my girl Mirsha
#neopets#neotag#neoart#vin doods#gnorbu#drawing this was actually really fun in a way that when i was looking for references i didn't know she was such a lesbian icon#not surprised but hey lets cheer for the lesbian alpaca!#I'm not as happy with the colors as I thought#I'm a bit rusty in just really warm colors without it looking burnt for some reason HJSD#but looking at pictures of AC teams have made me really fall into my old virtupets fix#i love everyone so much on that team and not really that many ppl play for it#i still remember winning a long long time ago and was completely blown away as it was basically just 5 ppl in a forum going mad#i just really love the designs of most of the players on all groups??#i don't even like playing in the AC that much i just love the characters LMFAOO#i think i still remember I drew fanart of Sela and the gelert from the darigan team when i was like 8-9 and submitting in onto deviantart#and getting hate comments probably like 8 years later because i missed his wings or i made them too small or sth#that was hilarious thinking about it now but it did made me hate the darigan team for that year SDHFKSD#ok this is too long it always ends up wit me just rambling#I love my boy XL Striker 3.8 and Sela#ok nobodys reading uhhhh#send me an ask with the weirdest emoji out of context if you've read this far tbh nobody cares by this point HJSKSFD#idk if ill draw someone for the AC team everytime i complete a stamp collection but if i'm feeling like it maybe#or if they're requested tecnically#thats it bye
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My mom just hypno cuddle fucked me so good that it stopped an anxiety spiral. Idk how or why she did that. All the bad things seem so far away right now.
#transgirl#mtf trans#sapphic#t4t yearning#lesbian#t4t lesbian#queer nsft#sapphic romance#trans nsft#momcest#fauxcest#she not my bio mom#she’s just my older girlfriend who calls me her kid#well#older by like 4-5 years#but we fetishize the fuck out of it#it’s neat#I didn't have the nerve to post this at the time so I'm gonna now
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so it seems the poppy war has become my absolute favorite series so ofc i'm losing my mind comparing every scene with my other favorite series (red queen) and making an unfathomable amount of headcanons
#first off i think rin and mare would get along. maybe not at first but after a while they would#i think venka and evangeline would become the best of friends like the second they lay eyes on each other#AND evangeline would probably help venka realize that she's an absolute lesbian#i also think rin would get along with farley And with cameron especially#i think the cike (and kitay) would IMMEDIATELY adopt shade and kilorn and they'd have the silliest of dynamics. while being a menace#i think the cike wouldn't like cal at first but then they'd be chill about him#AND nezha and cal would also get along. btw. if you even care.#just thinking about rinezha and marecal interactions makes me dryheave i'm literally climbing the walls of my room right now#also qara and iris would get along AND hot take but i think she'd also get along with chaghan cause she'd be the only person he respects#imo#i also think jiang and mare would get along. tho he'd probably get on her nerves more often than not#i don't think altan and maven would get along with anyone lmao they're such freaks🙌#i like to imagine that altan would have INSANE one-sided beef with cal AND mare that'd be histeric#like they really dgaf about him it'd be so one-sided it'd be embarrassing for altan#maybe. MAYBE. cameron could manage him (cause they're both commited to being Haters yknow). but only for like 5 secs at most .#i also like to imagine chaghan and maven would have the biggest beef known to mankind i think they'd find each other insufferable❤️❤️#and evangeline and chaghan???? ohh chaghan's gonna find out how MEAN a mean lesbian can be alright. mlm/wlw hostility🤞🤞✨️#and what if rin and cal get somewhat along bc she understands the responsability the older sibling has over the younger one.#what if she completely understands his guilt WAAAAIT#ohh the more i think about them the more insane i get#this is just a snippet of the headcanons i have in mind rn#maybe i should make a more ''organized'' post about it#and not hide it in the tags😔#also the joy and whimsy one gets from making your faves hate each other's guts... it's so entertaining... peace and love on planet earth❤️#the poppy war#red queen series#red queen#also don't mind any grammatical mistakes i didn't check anything before typing this. and i don't have respect for the english language <3
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oh! also! while we're on the subject of pride month and Damien and A Neon Darkness, that character of course would be NOTHING without the incredible voice behind him - Charlie Ian. the audiobook of AND is sO GOOD CHARLIE IS SO GOOD and also Charlie is a trans woman and uses she/her pronouns and she and I both thought people might like to know that!!!!
#the bright sessions#damien#and yes she was cool with me making this post!!!!!#i also told her that - like - through the years we had sO many lesbians email and be like#'i'm a lesbian but damien does something to me'#and i'm just saying....the lesbians knew#they knew they were listening to a sexy woman#incredible foresight on their part tbqh#charlie ian#and YES she's still going by charlie!#she's fully out now and when she saw my AND post she texted me and was like 'you should a make a post that's like btw charlie's a woman now#so that's this post! she's not really on social media she never has been#so if you talk about charlie and her amazing work she/her is the way to go!#obviously all my old posts talking about her will be using the wrong pronouns#so this is an update on that#lauren makes things
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yesterday i put "fuck off if you don't fuck with lesboys" in my discord bio and today i realized i was kicked from a server and banned by the owner because of it 😭
i get that people don't like us very much but omg nobody said anything to me as to why i was kicked until i got into contact with one of the people from the server💔💔
kicking someone out because they have a queer identity you don't like.....but then it's still just "im not queerphobic!!!1!1!1!"
#I had a hard time engaging with fandom spaces or just general spaces on other platforms#because of this#I would join discord servers for like a youtuber or an music artist I like and I would only feel scared that people would find out#and start mass harassing me#now I'm just on tumblr and honestly feel safer and happier engaging with people who have similar interests to me#for an example I'm a huge fan of natewantstobattle but for as few active fans there are most on twitter were exclusionary towards me#most on tumblr? it's been awesome here#everyone is super nice to me#lesboy#our lesboy experience#lesbian#asks#tw queerphobia#tw exclusionism
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Kris: I was made fun of by being labeled a girl and I even cut my hair short. I just wanted the attention of girls and that's why I started playing the guitar...
Fandom: lesbian icon, right there
(my art, don't repost)
#okay to be fair I think he has found a new confidence in his hair#I've gone through that as well#there was a time people would just assume I was a lesbian that lead me to have shaky relationships with both my girl and boy friends#when I was young#i also let my hair grow (partially) because of that#but now I'm like 'i want to become an lesbian icon lol'#I'm not even a lesbian but i was so happy when I got to play a lesbian character#no wonder Kris talks about sexuality so much#it all boils down to being confident#joker out#joker out kris#kris gustin
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soooooo guess what i learned about myself today
#i know i've said this a few times already but this time i mean it for realsies#i keep going back and forth and back and forth but i think i'm coming to terms w it#it's hard though because what do you MEAN these past two-ish years i spent as a straight girl might've been clouded by comphet??#i guess it makes sense though because in 2022 i decided 'HA this whole sexuality thing is dumb!! i'm straight now! n if i turn out not to b#i'll think about it later.' well guess what bestie. Later has arrived and it turns out you're GAY just like you believed you were at 13-16#me in january: 'my biggest goal for the year is to go to more male-dominated spaces and meet a guy and have a boyfriend!'#but is this comphet? it still doesn't feel quite right to call myself a lesbian or use the word comphet because it feels like appropriation#like i'm using a word i shouldn't. but listen i watched 'but i'm a cheerleader' and it stirred up feelings in me that i never knew existed#god.... i'm a homosexual?????????#<< i say whilst having a fem f/o#i'm so full of contradictions man. i'm a mess. i contain multitudes.#sapphic#lesbian#yapping#sorry for screaming into the void i just feel like i need to put these feelings out there for some validation otherwise i feel False
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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what is it about lesbian media that fills me with the heaviest & most profound sadness in the pit of my stomach, in my throat, under my heart.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#matty watches#i am not even talking about things like carol (which absolutely did leave me with an indescribable aching sensation for days)#or bloom into you which i am watching now (i can't get the opening song out of my head and it feels like it's stealing my breath)#i'm talking about fucking Enchanting Grom Fright from the owl house! which made me so so so sad when i watched it back in aug 2020#and WHY. and for WHAT.#god.#it's like. it's some Gender Feelings for sure. plus ya know. my overall shall we say delicate mental state (:#but for god's sake i can't even watch some yuri without wanting to curl up and weep and subsume into the mossy forest floor#gender blogging#matty's mental health#i watched carol when it came out in 2015 while having the worst time of my life working on ssv oliver hazard perry#and like i said. already was having a horrible horrible time. and left the theatre absolutely emotionally devastated#feeling like i'd been shattered & the pieces just leaned back against each other#and not... really knowing why it was hitting me so hard or why i was feeling so fucking fragile about it#and that. was definitely an Egg Moment. i'd started id'ing as nonbinary like 6 months earlier.#idk. this got away from me#what i'm trying to say is. i'm watching bloom into you and i'm feeling incredibly fragile about it.#but also Why do i feel so incredibly fragile about every single fucking piece of lesbian media i've ever seen#ALSO INB4: I AM ALREADY A GIRL BY NOW AND AM A LESBIAN SO IF ANYONE IS GONNA MAKE AN ~I SUGGEST FORCEFEM~ JOKE PLS DON'T
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#editing an article for work that is about choosing a career and it's like#'try to pick something that aligns with your passions and strengths and that you find fulfilling!'#in esta economia??? okay. i just sort of like. wound up in my career#i do love to write. but i rarely write about things that are 'fulfilling'. i write for seo. i write what algorithms want.#if i wrote about what i found fulfilling i'd be going on about dolls. and lesbianism. and like. crafts. or at LEAST food.#or i'd be a published author. but i don't think i can ever be that. for various reasons.#and anyway. in this role i don't write at all i mostly just edit#which does involve SOME writing but ykwim#a fulfilling career simply will not pay my bills.#i think i'm just very burnt out right now#work is not fulfilling. work is just. what you must do to survive
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Years I've spent as friends with people who have Real Taste in music, feeling vaguely defensive and embarrassed about how the autism seems to only like the kinds of songs that register as basic to everyone else, with few exceptions.
Then I met another lesbian and every time she turns on her music, half the songs are on my playlists.
#Like it's not quite top 40 levels of basic (which is still fine!) but like#She turned on Mariana trench and I got excited#The other day it was freelance whales#Songs I've found through 8tracks and other people's beauyasha playlists and etc#So not what you hear on the radio but still songs that somehow everyone knows and I have no idea why#Kavinsky's nightcall a few weeks ago and that's one I got from Ashley's big pool of possible yasha songs#Marianas*#Man I'm only just now realizing how few lesbians I had hung out with before I got back to Chicago
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