#i'm having fun. fuck off LMAO

[prozac-shaped-urn]

lol i love this duo

Gerri gave her a cockeyed smile. Deborah squinted as she looked up at Gerri.

“What?”

“You're really wet for me, aren't you?”

Deborah scooped a handful of water and flung it at Gerri—missing her entirely save for a small patch on her legs.

“Obviously, you were never a softball lesbian.”

“Fuck you, Gerri. Help me up.”

Gerri did as requested, holding Deborah's hand as she climbed up and over the boulder onto dry land.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz

[butwhatifidothis]

I guess the ultimate thing that kills CF for me - or at least nudges it away from me saying I definitively like it - is just how much Edelgard is clearly written with the player in mind before she's written with her character in mind.

Because on all of the other routes, there's a power to Edelgard's presence. Even on BE, there's a sense that for as lonely as Edelgard might be, she still ultimately will do whatever it takes for her to get what she wants. Be that be killing her citizens (or otherwise letting them be killed), endangering her friends, assisting in kidnapping people, allowing Byleth to support her only when they have the Sword of the Creator, covering for TWS - no bar is too low for her to limbo under if doing so means she's even a step closer to her goals.

She's manipulative! She's deceitful! She doesn't care for the lives of her people! Even her friends are forfeit if they try to stand in her way! And this happens no matter how close you, the player, get to her, in the case of BE - C+ ain't stoppin' Remire, and going to the coronation ain't stopping the Holy Tomb.

And in the war phase, she is dominating the field. She has the Kingdom completely on the ropes, down to a few houses standing against Imperial rule, and the Alliance is stuck in neutrality - she may not be able to do much to it, but neither can they do anything to her (to say nothing of the Alliance houses who stand with her). She's far from the underdog in this race, and she shows off how threatening she can be.

CF? Her route?

She scweams at scawy rats. She gets embawwassed when you find her dwawings. She's just so wonewy, and she's just so gwad that you chose her. She somehow fails to capture Rhea, or frame Dimitri for regicide, and so now has to deal with that on the Kingdom's side of the war. But that doesn't stop Elly Welly-kins fwom twying to find her pwecious teacher, because you're just so important to her. She cwies and hugs you when you meet her in the Goddess Tower!! Because she missed you so much!!

It's like... Dimitri and Claude certainly show different sides of themselves on their respective routes. It's the whole point! You grow closer to them and thus see how they treat those close to them, as opposed to being the Kinda Neat Teacher they see run along every now and then. But, like... Claude doesn't become a blushing maiden whenever Byleth speaks with him on VW. Dimitri doesn't scream at scary rats and get called cute for it on AM. They don't get Basic Bitch Gap Moe Traits slapped onto them that are only ever shown to the player and only on their routes. Unlike Edelgard.

Dimitri's endearing trait is that he's this big huge dude who can bench-press forests and arm-wrestle god who still wants to learn to sew and who teaches kids to protect themselves and who buys candies for his friends. Claude's endearing trait is that he's this mastermind planner who has contingency and lie and obfuscation as three separate legal government names who still wants everyone to be safe and happy and hold hands and be friends.

Edelgard is strong, confident, and willing to do some of the shittiest things known to man for her goals. Her endearing trait is that her screams are cute. She's shy about her drawings of the player character. She blushes over the player potentially joking about having sex with her per her JPN version of her C support; you know, the one about how Byleth walks in on Edelgard muttering in her sleep from a nightmare about her tortured family? Perfect time to joke about fucking her! Dimitri and Claude's endearments are, well, endearing; Edelgard's are all straight up embarrassing for her.

Hell, even the smaller stuff is affected! Claude's passion for poisons and mushrooms are things he has no qualms about having others know about, despite how weird they are. Dimitri laughing at shitty jokes brings him no personal discomfort or embarrassment, despite just how loudly he laughs at them. They have traits to them that can easily be uwu worthy, and they don't care! Of the lords, only Edelgard does! Because, it feels like, the only way for a strong, resolute female character to come off as approachable is if she's knocked down a few pegs for specifically and only you, the player.

And that sucks ass! I'm sorry, but when I'm playing Edelgard's route I don't want to deal with her hiding herself away in her room for a month IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING WAR because she's just so embawwassed! It is so fucking insensitive that Edelgard is literally the only lord of the three who can have her trauma openly belittled at any point in the story by Byleth, all to have some cheap cutesy uwu moment about her fear of rats (calling her screaming in fear cute and INSISTING that it's really cute which is just. Fucking ew man)! Why can we fucking mock Edelgard's manner of speech during the MASSACRE OF REMIRE?

This shit doesn't happen to Claude or Dimitri! And saying "oh just don't pick those options then" is bullshit because no equivalent options exist for the male lords! It's piss-boilingly annoying that the second you choose to see things from the strong confident villainous ambitious female lord's perspective you can reduce her down to this bumbling moeblob just for you (sometimes unavoidably!) like!! Dude!

[djevelbl]

GUESS WHO I'M DRAWING NOOOOWWWWW~!!!!

[risingsunresistance]

sorry him saying he has no idea where the misogyny thing comes from when ludwig just talked about how he sent him a big apology for calling his friend a whore when it was about THE WRONG WOMAN is funny as fuck

i dont think he realizes that the reason no one gives a shit about his apologies and honestly just straight up ignores them is because EVEN IN THE EVENT THAT THEY ARE TRUE he's been proven to lie soooooo many times to the point where you really cant believe a word that comes out of his mouth. he says something and im like "damn maybe i was wrong about that one... i'll look into it" and you get more info and go "oh. he just made that part up. and misworded that. and lied about that part... oh it was actually WORSE than i initially thought!"

[gingermintpepper]

hi, i haven't read the iliad and the odyssey but want to - do u have a specific translation you recommend? the emily wilson one has been going around bc, y'know, first female translator of the iliad and odyssey into english, but i was wondering on if you had Thoughts

Hi anon! Sorry for the somewhat late response and I'm glad you trust me with recommendations! Full, disclosure, I am somewhat of a traditionalist when it comes to translations of the source text of the Iliad + Odyssey combo wombo, which means I tend to prefer closeness in literal verbiage over interpretation of the poetic form of these epics - for that reason, my personal preferred versions of the Odyssey and Iliad both are Robert Fitzgerald's. Because both of these translations (and his Aeneid!) were done some 50+ years ago (63 for his original Odyssey tl, 50 flat for his Iliad and 40 for his Aeneid) the English itself can be a bit difficult to read and the syntax can get confusing in a lot of places, so despite my personal preferences, I wouldn't recommend it for someone who is looking to experience the Iliad + Odyssey for the very first time.

For an absolute beginner, someone who has tried to read one or both of these epics but couldn't get into it or someone who has a lot of difficulty with concentrating on poetry or long, winding bits of prose, I fully and wholeheartedly recommend Wilson's translation! See, the genius of Emily Wilson's Iliad + Odyssey isn't that she's a woman who's translated these classics, it's that she's a poet who's adapted the greek traditional poetic form of dactylic hexameter into the english traditional poetic form of iambic pentameter. That alone goes a very very long way to making these poems feel more digestible and approachable - iambic pentameter is simply extremely comfortable and natural for native english speakers' brains and the general briskness of her verbiage helps a lot in getting through a lot of the problem books that people usually drop the Iliad or Odyssey in like Book 2 of the Iliad or Book 4 of the Odyssey. I think it's a wonderful starting point that allows people to familiarise themselves with the source text before deciding if they want to dig deeper - personally, researching Wilson's translation choices alone is a massive rabbit hole that is worth getting into LOL.

The happy medium between Fitzgerald's somewhat archaic but precise syntax and Wilson's comfortable meter but occasionally less detailled account is Robert Fagles' Iliad + Odyssey. Now, full disclosure, I detest how Fagles handles epithets in both of his versions, I think they're far too subtle which is something he himself has talked at length about in his translation notes, but for everything else - I'd consider his translations the most well rounded of english adaptations of this text in recent memory. They're accurate but written in plain English, they're descriptive and detailled without sacrificing a comfortable meter and, perhaps most importantly, they're very accessible for native english speaking audiences to approach and interact with. I've annotated my Fagles' volumes of these books to heaven and back because I'm deeply interested in a lot of the translation decisions made, but I also have to specifically compliment his ability to capture nuance in the characters' of these poems in a way I don't often see. He managed to adapt the ambivalence of ancient greek morality in a way I scarcely see and that probably has a hand in why I keep coming back to his translations.

Now, I know this wasn't much of a direct recommendation but as I do not know you personally, dear anon, I can't much make a direct recommendation to a version that would best appeal to your style of reading. Ideally, I'd recommend that you read and enjoy all three! But, presuming that you are a normal person, I suggest picking which one is most applicable for you. I hope this helps! 🥰

[shima-draws]

I briefly considered a roleswap AU where Cora is the one to be enslaved by the Celestial Dragons and get horribly mistreated by them but then I realized it would be over in five minutes bc if Law saw that he would literally burn Mary Geoise to the ground with ZERO hesitation whatsoever

[andi-o-geyser]

“oh the gods are bad the gods are bad” i actually realized i dont give a fuck. crazy concept i actually realized i do not give a fuck lmaooo. people have lived not liking or worshipping the gods for so many fucking years its actually CRAZY like people honestly just go about their day to day lives. they believe or they don't! big whoop! they just care about the price of milk and if the world isn't ending!!

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

[tortoise-teapot]

ahhhh the relief i just felt after deciding avery convinces the veilguard crew that the veil's gotta go (if for no other reason than besides it's the practical, prudent thing to do given its state and nature)(lol and lmao at 'veilguard') and they all figure it out amicably (or at least nonviolently) while facing the larger threat and solas helps clean up the south (after putting up like one million more wards around the black city) and then when the dust has settled he and avery go soothe the blight tesseract thing (takes a few centuries) and then-- ok i'll stop

is it as high tension as the narrative in canon? nope! but it felt like getting in a warm bath

[yujeong]

back again because another prompt came to me: I love the idea of vegas making pete confront his "nonpersonhood" by either fucking in front of a mirror, or vegas making pete verbalize every little thing he wants vegas to do. very much forcing pete to be present and say what he wants and needs. (in a healthy way)

Hello anon! My sincere apologies for not having answered this in so long, but I didn't have the proper brainworms for it. Also, apologies for answering the second one you sent me first, but I got inspired for this prompt today, so I decided to work on it. Hope you enjoy ❤️ CW: Bondage, Handjob ----------------------------------------------------------------------- There's a man in the mirror. Pete doesn't recognize him. He's tied up—wrists bound by rope, legs spread out on the large bed he and Vegas sleep in every night. His hair is a mess. His cheeks are flushed and his mouth is hanging open. His chest is heaving. He's completely naked; his cock is leaking precum on his stomach. The man in the mirror looks aroused, but uncomfortable. Lost. Out of his depth. But why? He's been in this situation plenty of times before. The position, the anticipation, the ache, it all feels familiar, and yet... "Pete." Vegas is standing next to the bed, his voice syrupy sweet. Pete turns to look at him. A good distraction; he tries to reach him, to lean closer for a kiss. Vegas grabs his face before he does. "No," he says, his smile replaced by a frown. "Not until you look." There's a man in the mirror. Pete doesn't know who he is. His breathing has grown heavier. He looks flustered; his bangs are glued on his forehead, sweat travels down his neck. He barely moves as he's stuck there, staring at someone who seems familiar, but isn't. He shouldn't be. "Look at you," Vegas whispers in Pete's ear. Pete can't understand what he means, but a shiver travels down his spine regardless. And then Vegas licks Pete's earlobe and it feels like a punch to the gut. His body reacts on its own, his voice too. It sounds like a moan, but Pete is too out of it to hear. His eyes are stuck on the man in the mirror, on the horror crossing his expression, on the realization that renders him breathless and aching. He probably started crying at some point, because Vegas is suddenly shushing him and caressing his hair and kissing him everywhere. It feels horrible. Pete hasn't felt this good in ages. Vegas doesn't waste any more time after that. He uses his hand to make Pete come and it feels exhilarating and like Pete is going to die, but he doesn't. A scream escapes his lips when the orgasm comes. It surprises him; it's never happened before. He calms down eventually. Vegas is there to take care of him, to remind him. He was staring at his reflection the entire time.

[pardonmydelays]

you know you're too deep in twenty one pilots lore when one of your mutuals asks you to explain it and you end up making powerpoint presentation

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

So Mermay is right around the corner…

…what I’m saying is it’s a good time to talk about eel mer AUs again.

Oh hey it is!

Man, I'm still so into submarine pilot Hal Jordan with his crew of green submariners who contract out for the army and do top secret stuff underwater. I'm picturing all the GL's as expert divers who do search and rescues and treasure hunting in their down time and bomb defusal/trench scouting/spying for the army when on contract.

I don't even think this is a real thing but I'm picturing them all in little green mini subs. Like individual ones. Like fighter jets but subs.

Anyway, they're out on a job because the bigger army subs have been getting static interference from an area underwater and they need the experts to go check it out.

What they don't know is that the static interference is coming from Barry, local electric eel mer, who is suddenly stuck in one location because he's got a small child to look after and hunt for.

[spacenintendogs]

Confession: Snotstrid is the only m/f pairing in all history of How to Train Your Dragon that I'm able to truly enjoy, but if I say this anywhere else I'll get bashed on the head (not a joke, this actually happened once). When I found your blog I literally screamed with joy and thanked the heavens, for I am not the only one child of men born with bad taste. Thank you so much for your service.

proud to serve our troops 🫡

[memento-morri-writes]

I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:

tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries

He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion.  Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave.  While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.

[queerofthedagger]

behold! sauron.