#i'm definitely not an expert but i hope this helps!!

[certifiedsexed]

Could you give me any insight on the safety of these feminine hygiene wipes I bought? I’m not sure how to tell if they’re going to give me a yeast infection or something lol

(Note: I cannot see these well enough to describe them for others, sorry about that.)

Now, admittedly, I can't see these super well and I'm not an expert on the subject but I do have some thoughts.

The first red flag here is perfume. Perfume is almost always a genital irritant. (Which may be why it's listed as fragrance instead. Not sure.)

Also, lavender oil usually contains alcohol, which is also a genital irritant. (Both can cause vaginal dryness and mess with your pH, which can cause...you guessed it, yeast infections.)

Some of the other ingredients aren't always irritants but are definitely possible irritants and can cause yeast infections. (Propylene Glycol, Glycerin, etc)

Those were my first thoughts! But then I noticed the "Since 1920s" text and got a really bad feeling. The 1920s and a company propping themselves up for their "feminine hygiene products"? Not a good combination.

So, I looked up Modess. Turns out they're a proud offshoot of Johnson and Johnson and are partially still affiliated with them. Talk about flags redder than the communist flag, wow.

Johnson and Johnson is particularly infamous for their lack of testing and ignoring when their products were literally killing people and that's not even getting into the racism and misogyny. [Seriously. It's horrific.]

Now, beyond that, I looked at the Modess website. They sell loads of "feminine hygiene products", designed to eliminate odor with many questionable ingredients.

With that in mind and the fact that people who use things labeled as "feminine hygiene products" have been shown to have higher rates of all types of infections and even cancer, I wouldn't trust this shit any further than I could walk [which isn't far!]

I could absolutely be wrong but these genuinely seem sketchy as fuck and some of these ingredients definitely seem like a cocktail designed to give people, especially those with sensitive pHs, at least a yeast infection.

Sorry it took awhile to respond and sorry if I rambled a lot but I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[overnightheartbeats]

"I'm not selling myself short," he shook his head, though found a small smile coming to his lips at the question. It comforted him that Eli had learned Isaac's protective quirks. "I appreciate you having more consideration for me and my feelings than I've had with you. I love you too, seriously man. Thank you." Isaac couldn't deny his curiosity. He'd wanted to know for a while, but Eli had always looked hesitant to talk about it, so Isaac didn't push it. He chuckled at the mention of that curse, something he was all-too familiar with. "Of course, why do you think I never messed with any of that?" Romance in general, but office romance, he kept even further away from him. It also didn't help that agents were all too jaded or divorced to give any hope. "Nah, not your mistake. I mean, those old agents are very convincing. Well, you guys look like you've gotten very far from that mistake now." Isaac offered a smile, sharing in the luck he felt, because it made him happy. "I'm trying to be patient, I'm just worried the damage is beyond repair." Because, they both knew it had been more damage than the average person could forgive. "I hope you're right though, me being meant for her." Nettie deserved more, but here he was, being selfish hoping he could be enough.

"You forget that I'm a certified Eli expert," he joked as they waited for their funnel cake order to be ready. "I am understanding with you, but the situation also called for it. I didn't know all the details then," more like any details. His parents kept a lot of that to themselves. "But, I could see it in your face, you had been through a lot. You know the family was so excited to have you. You were the last piece we were missing. Okay I'll give you that, she might've met a very different version. But hey, if we didn't help you change, she surely would've. That girl doesn't give up." The one thing he was very familiar with.

The hug was something he had needed, even if he hadn't asked for it. That was family though, wasn't it? Knowing what you needed before even you did. "Okay now you're definitely giving me too much credit." For years now, Eli had taken up that oldest brother role. The one the siblings went to for advice, and for help. Evidenced by Isaac's latest trouble moment. "You're twisting my arm, but yes. I'm letting it go. Don't even remember what it is I'm letting it go." Now he was definitely joking.

He let Eli's words settle in his chest. So, it was fairly obvious that he was still stuck in his mistakes. "Maybe so, it was just a big mistake." Losing their child was one he could never forgive himself for. "You have a point though, that's a step. I won't mess it up this time." That, he was determined about. "The blue shirt, you're bringing the dating advice now too?" Then again, he probably should be listening to any and all advice. "Everyone does love free food more. Well, after this, and your dating advice, I'll owe you a bunch of funnel cakes. Alright, let's head on home. We have to rest up and be ready for later." Now that he knew Nettie would be there, Isaac had a sense of renewed energy in his heart. Extra hope with his family at home, and possibly winning her back.

"Dont sell yourself short. Who do you think I learned my protective nature from?" He saw the pain from his statement cross over his features. "But I didn't," he continued. "I didn't want to shut you out. I know that would have hurt you but it would have also hurt me. No matter what, you're my brother and I love you. Shutting you out I can't imagine it." He knew he was curious and hell part of him was too. "You know the curse of the office romances? Stupid hearsay made me call a pause for us. Looking back. It was the stupidest mistake I have ever made where it concerns her. A mistake I never want to make again. I'm just lucky that she forgave my mistake. That is why I tell you to have faith in Nettie. I know you want it to have a quick fix but have patience. She's meant for you and you're meant for her."

Eli shrugged and laughed. "You're too understanding when it comes to past me. I was jaded but not beyond repair. And that's what you saw. If it weren't for you and your family, Laurel may have met a very different version of me. Maybe even would have called me a former lover. A passerby."

He let him stay in the hug a bit longer. It also meant the world to Eli. He wasn't typically a hugger but when it came to his family. And Issac, it was like he recharged his soul with one of these hugs. One pat against his back and he smiled. "No, I had no idea," he winked. "Where do you think I also learned that from?" In his eyes, still, Isa was one of the best men he had ever known. Mistakes and all. That is what him human and someone to look up to. "Let it go. I am holding you to it."

"She loves you too. You're just stuck in the mistake island still. The first step is done. She wants to see you and group setting is a step in the right direction. Maybe wear that blue shirt." He bumped his side and smirked. "I'm gonna enjoy this one even more because you're paying for it."

[donuts4evry1]

Hi!!! I love your account with all of its fabulous jellyfish information. And I wanted to know, where are you getting aforementioned fabulous jellyfish information? Is there a book or a website or documentary or smth? Do you have any recommendations?

Tysm and I CANT WAIT for the advanced quiz :DD

Oh!! I'm glad you enjoy it ^-^

I get my jellyfish research from a variety of places, actually. But since I'm kind of obsessed with collecting my information in one place, asks like these are my cup of tea :)

My main source of jellyfish lore comes from Wikipedia. Just like the legendary Hank Green, I ended up downloading Firefox's tree-tab extension so I can organize the tabs by natural taxonomic order. It's really quite relaxing, actually.

Wikipedia, understandably, isn't always the best source though (Take the pages for Cephea cephea and Atolla wyvillei for example. The Cephea cephea page is almost entirely blatant misinformation while the Atolla wyvillei contains an incorrect and misleading throwaway line)

That's why the next logical step is simple- Wikipedia references! This serves as a beginning into further jellyfish research.

Let's take the reference page for the Aurelia aurita, for example:

The information citing citation 14 was super interesting, so I pulled it up on another tab to read it, and got this:

Then I just had a field day reading it all.

One big site that's used as a reference on Wikipedia is humorously named WorMS (World Registry of Marine Species), which goes into the specific classification of pretty much every jellyfish taxon (it is very. VERY comprehensive). It'll tell you how many species are in a genus, what scientific name has become synonomized with another, and even link to the original documents that describe the species (though they may be written in a different language and come in a scan- so tough luck if you don't understand the language since um... it's pretty hard to translate a scan).

Eventually that wasn't enough, though, so I branched out into searching scientific articles myself. My personal favourite website to do this on is ResearchGate, since the UI is the easiest for me to use, but I get plenty of research from other sites and publishers. (And pssst, if you can't access papers through a school or an institution, there's always sci-hub and libgen 😉)

The rest just depends on to how savvy you are with google. I despise normal reporting articles on jellyfish (Most can't tell the difference between them anyways), so I skip those and simply go to the jellyfish papers themselves lol. I've found out a lot of interesting things about jellyfish just by searching random questions on google.

Um, but I suppose I do have extra stuff to add.

Apparently, making a video game for jellyfish is a surefire way to learn more about them (especially when you write them as sapient beings lol). You start to crave niche, specific knowledge of them- like um... If they sleep or not, or what things can make them sleep.

Um... Another thing I've learned about jellyfish? The japanese are absolutely OBSESSED with their jellyfish. Their jellyfish spotlight sites are incredibly detailed (if not a bit region-specific), and I honestly trust them more than I trust our English-speaking sites.

In particular, I adore kurage-ya.com and gogo zoo aquarium, though you definitely will not be able to read anything unless you have a good translator (Kurage-ya is written in such an adorable voice.... and gogo zoo is incredibly detailed. I suggest going onto both for full coverage of your jellyfish knowledge, though)

(I also suggest going on different languages of Wikipedia- you can learn SO much stuff that normal Wikipedia doesn't give to you. Like the Chrysaora pacifica and Nemophilema nomurai have more robust Japanese pages, and the Spanish page for Order Semaeostomeae is a lot more beefed up, haha...)

To learn more about niche jellyfish facts, I also suggest looking through jellyfish husbandry sites (Especially jellyfish warehouse- travis knows so much more about jellyfish than I do it's actually pretty crazy).

As for Jellyfish documentaries? I only know of a few good ones, but I'll list them here:

^^ (not a documentary, but the jellyfish warehouse is friggin awesome and they even have a youtube channel)

Umm... So yeah that's pretty much all the things I got for free.

I think any jellyfan would suggest Lisa-Ann Gerswhin's book, Jellyfish: A Natural History.

I'm pretty sure you can find it in any major bookstore or whatever (online, at least), but it goes super in-depth about pretty much everything you need to know about jellyfish.

She goes SUPER in-depth about things like jellyfish life cycle, jellyfish anatomy, jellyfish ecology- and SO, SO MUCH MORE. She doesn't stay in Phylum Cnidaria, either, branching out into Ctenophora and even Chorodata(?) (Since Salps/tunicates are also there ig).

If you want to learn about specific jellyfish species, however, I would honestly just stick to Google and write it yourself. She only highlights about 40 different jellyfish species, and only mentions the textually relevant things in their bio. I would use the book just to learn about jellyfish basics, tbh (since it primes you to learn about the more technical jellyfish language you'll inevitably encounter in jellyfish articles). Overall, though, Lisa-Ann Gershwin's book is incredibly detailed, in-depth, and gorgeous and I could not recommend it more to anyone.

Other than that tho? All the English jellyfish books kinda suck, and I'm seriously considering branching out to japanese books instead (There's one that focuses on 114 species of jellyfish and you can bet your manus that I'm salivating over it rn i am enamoured with Japanese jellyfish culture)

Erm... Anyways?

TLDR;

Wikipedia is a good place to start. Reading Published Scientific articles is where you can get the bulk of your information, but Jellyfish-dedicated Websites will also be pretty knowledgeable as well.

There are a choice few Youtube documentaries you can watch, but if you want to read an actual book, Jellyfish: A Natural History is your best bet.

[iwaasfairy]

┌─ “ ! „ SPARKSTONE

tw. blood kink, noncon, pain play, lashing/whipping, toji’s foul n mean, degradation, prostitution, daddy kink, kinda size kink as always w me heheghe wordcount. 4.6k

a/n. thank you a million to the loveliest friends who always keep me goin when i'm having a hard timEEE rhi, wil and dymmiEE thanK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR betaing ily so much ♡ i hope i did the big man justice he is so yucky n i love it,, also extra shOutout n love dym bc she gave me the vision i saw i came i had to have it so !! iLY ILY ILY

fushiguro toji x fem!reader

If you know one thing from your years hiding in the shadows of the more powerful, it’s that danger has a taste. It sticks to your skin, longing for an opening. And tightens around your organs as you swallow it down, setting your hairs on end. Instinctually, humans know danger when they sense it, and by that same measure, they’re usually smart enough to hide before they get found. You might be simple prey in the eyes of the strong, but you hate the feeling deeply, and avoid it where you can.

You’re always aware of eyes that trail you, and you can smell it in the air.

The burgundy walls and nice chandelier bloom like a flower when it gets dark out. It fits the business. Like moths to a flame, that warmth lures men with a promise of a warm body and expert secrecy, and usually that’s plenty. Luckily for you, most of them leave before their wives start to wonder, which means you don’t have to deal with the drunk and impatient by the time you come in for a shift by early morning. Your days are easy, if you pretend you don’t know what types of people stumble home from their rooms in the seedier back of the building. Smelling of booze and body fluids and most of all, sex. That’s how it is.

Sorcerers are people too, by your cousin’s words. He’s not wrong. By the types of people that come in and out of the doors day and night, he made a smart investment starting this place a few years ago, and you’re grateful to get to work here. There’s no place for small-fry cursed energy users out in the daylight— and you’re not exactly dying to lay your life down for others in the first place. It’s this, or even less savory jobs for those people like you, who see things that others don’t. You’re more than happy with a simple life sitting behind the front desk, and going home to crash before the grosser individuals have a chance to harass you.

Which is why your skin itches a bit when the soft cling of the bell sounds so late it’s early. You’ve barely had enough time to open the doors. For not the first time, there’s a soft buzz of a warning sign that greets you as you sigh. Isn’t 5 in the morning a little early for even the more degenerate types? You get up to hang your jacket in the back room as you hear heavy steps make it into the foyer, and swallow. The slight pulling of cold under your skin has your lips pressed tight, swallowing. They don’t ring the bell, don’t yell or break things, don’t even talk. But they also don’t turn to leave.

So you smooth your hands down your pants, and eventually walk back to your spot behind the counter. It’s still dark out, still has the uncomfortable pressure that lingers as you cast a quick glance around the room.

And all you see is eyes that pull a cold shiver up your spine so quick it freezes you in place. The dark figure is splayed out with his arms over one of the couches, but those sharp eyes don’t move an inch from you when you meet them. Narrowed in their cold, metal blue darkness, and all-consuming. The man is not young, not old - but definitely older than you, scarred and quiet, and you can’t help it- when that foul, dangerous taste wells up in your mouth in the form of saliva.

After only a few seconds, you grab the phone and ring a number one, taking it off the horn for your own safety. It rings as the man gets up with a sigh and walks towards you, only leaving the space of the desk between you two. There's a soft mumble on the other side of the call, but because the horn is pressed to your desk, you can’t make out exactly what’s said before the customer - you assume he’s a customer, judging by the foul sort of stench of death that follows him around - clears his voice.

Only a sorcerer can have that sort of smell, and no sorcerer would enter here if not out for one thing. You don’t normally do intake, you realize as your hand trembles just slightly. You leave the horn of the phone for a pen instead, and try to rid your throat of the thick block that pushes on your windpipe. “Welcome. How can I help you?”

The man’s hair is messy, lazy, much like his clothing is; and he takes a moment to look around before his eyes flick to the stack of notes before you, the phone, and then you again. “Ah, uhm. Are there rooms open this late? Or early, I guess.” He ends up saying, a bored sort of lilt to his deep voice. You can’t even meet his eyes, but you can feel the painfully intense stare that doesn’t move from you again as you put on your best smile.

“There- should be, yes. Hmm, let’s see. Do you have a preferred girl you’d like to see here today?” Your hand only stops shaking when you press the tip of the pen to paper, if only to give your hand something to do as you quickly flick between the pages of the book.

“Not really.” He runs his hand under his nose, before leaning both forearms onto the desk and invading your space too much. You barely resist the urge to jerk back entirely, and feel the heat travel between you two. See, you were never able to fight curses. But you did always have a good nose, and his presence is like maggots crawling around under your skin. It’s unbearable. Your lids flutter as you stop flicking, and just focus on not throwing up entirely. Every part of him stinks of rot, oozing danger enough to suffocate you.

You simply pick one of the names at random, and start digging through the shelf for the correct key as fast as you can. Your heart hammers in your chest like that of a hummingbird, and is almost loud enough to keep you from hearing him when he speaks again. You can’t quite bear to meet his gaze, but one look up at his mouth reveals a tiny sort of curl to his lips that’s just as upsetting as the stench that swirls around the room. Everything feels wrong, and you want to stop yourself from hurling your guts out over the table. The man taps his finger on the counter a few times. “Are you new?”

Your head shakes faster than you can think about the answer. It wouldn’t be of any use lying anyway. For some reason, you feel like he’d be able to see right through you. When you finally find the right key, you feel like a weight lifts from your chest, and you slide it across the stone towards him. “I always work the morning shift, I don’t do nights.”

“Hm.” He doesn’t need to say anything else. Only when you slide the paper form across the table too,  do you notice the call has disconnected - you’re not sure for how long - and you manage to force your eyes up to face him for just long enough not to seem impolite. But your blood still feels uncomfortable and itchy, even when he slowly picks up the pen and starts writing his name down at the top of the form. After a few seconds, he clicks the pen to his chin, and looks down at you with a coy smile as he straightens up. “Actually, what about you? You’re a skittish, little thing, and I have a bit of a hunger for something light and fresh today— I had the longest night ever.”

His scar pulls when the smile gets a bit more predatory, and you feel pinned in place like an insect under a magnifying glass when he aims the pen at you. “Looks like you’re a good listener, sweet girl.”

“I- I-” you start, stepping back until your back hits the wall and even then, there’s not nearly enough space between you and him, “I just work as a receptionist. I don’t do-” You might puke after all. Those eyes only seem to get wider when your bottom lip wobbles, and you feel the sick sense of glee he gets rather than see it. You don’t think -no, you know- you couldn’t take him in a fight, but still your fists ball up tight.

The lift dings though, to your relief, and a familiar face rushes out to give you an up and down. Your cousin’s got a bed head, deep grooves under his eyes as he jogs up beside you. “What the hell, you’re fine! When you didn’t respond on the phone I thought something might’ve happened to you.” You can’t say anything back, but you’re so glad to see him your mouth drops open and a little whimper comes out of your throat despite yourself. The young man frowns, before glancing to his side and - pauses. You can’t exactly place the expression he gets, but he must feel what you’re still feeling laced in the air, because he blinks a few times before taking a step back. “What’s this?”

“I was just telling him I’m- o-only a front desk worker,” you start, shuffling uncomfortably when those steely eyes find your body, giving you an awfully unsubtle once over. Pig. He doesn’t even bother to hide the way he’s undressing you with his eyes. Your cousin thankfully hums in agreement, and crosses his arms over his chest. “So-”

The brazen noiret doesn’t hesitate to nod though. And the confident tone from earlier doesn’t waver a bit. It’s like he’s barely inconvenienced by your statement at all. Like you’re playing hard to get. You’re not. "That's fine by me. But I’m going to be the exception.” Under his sloppy clothing, there’s no doubt he’s fit. He’s tall, and obviously wired with thick muscle that makes his shirt cling to his biceps, even more when he crosses over the furniture to reach a hand out to you, and make your shivers so much worse. “Come, little deer. I’m gonna have some fun with you.”

Your cousin places a hand on the other man’s shoulder though. “She’s not that kind of employee, sir. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, or else-”

“Or else what?” You swear you can feel a pin drop when his eyes finally move away from you, now at the other man. Your heart still beats wildly. “How about this, huh. You let me play with your little friend here, and I’ll decide not to kill you, her and then everyone in here for making my long night even longer.” He doesn’t even have to straighten up for you to feel like he means it. Even without flashing a weapon, or pulling out some fancy cursed technique, do you feel the increase in thick waves of tension; drowning you in that same, rotting stench of incoming disaster. You can’t ignore it, can’t do anything but gasp shallow, little breaths when he does round on your family, squaring up to him.

Though they’re both about as tall, the stranger’s built like a brick wall. He must know that, because he laughs. “I’ll be very nice to her, don’t worry.” His eyes tell everyone daring to take a peek that he doesn’t mean it, but at least you don’t flinch when he looks at you this time. Ah, that’s right. You really do hate sorcerers. The black haired man walks past to come grab your arm, and tosses the key you provided him earlier high into the air before catching it. It instantly is too tight, and hurts. You plant your heels into the floor, hang back with your whole body. You want to scream. Your other hand claws at his strong palm -wrung like a vice around your wrist- and you start to whimper.

“N-wait, let me go. I don’t work here like that, I- leave me alone, let me go!” You get pulled along anyway, like you’re a toddler throwing a tantrum; he yanks you with barely any effort and sends you stumbling behind him. “No, I don’t want- aniki! Aniki, tell him- I’m not- I’m not for sale.” Hair whips around as you try to plead with the man left standing in the lobby, but though he looks guilt-stricken and apologetic, he doesn’t move from his spot. You don’t have a say in the way the man dressed in all black drags you behind, even when you try to make yourself dead weight and stop him. “No, no, no, wait, please! Kou aniki! Kou~ help me!”

You get it.

“Let me go! Let me go, pl-please! Hck.” Your voice breaks when wetness spills down to your hot cheeks. Really, you do get it. But the lamb still spooks when presented with the gun, even if it doesn’t run.

You’re sat on the edge of the bed as tears run down your cheeks and drip off your nose.

You can’t imagine it makes for a very appealing sight, but whether it’s indifference or sexual gratification, it’s clear your grief doesn’t matter to him. Toji, he said his name is, but you only know that ‘so you can cry it later’. It makes you sick - the sight of him makes you want to dig your nails into your own palms until you bleed. This is how it is for the weak everywhere, right? Sit and wait to die. As the cold embraces your body again, you sniffle, but wipe the tears away. You’re not a fan of waiting.

If he’s going to do it, better do it quick. Before you decide to start biting anyway. The dim lighting of the reddish room doesn’t do anything to warm the mood except make you even more aware of him as he kicks off sandals, slowly, demanding attention. He stares you down like a predator keeps an eye on his prey. The scent is still suffocating, but there’s a more alarming feeling blanketing your senses now. You’re scared. There’s nothing you can do about it, it’s in the goosebumps on your skin as he walks closer, and you scoot back onto the soft mattress to avert your eyes to yourself.

You’d rather go out kicking and screaming- but with your fear ran so high, you settle for the second best thing. “So, you’re not going to kill everyone, but just me, huh?” He’s taking off his belt as you ball your hands in the fabric, and force yourself to watch him under heavy lashes, with as much hatred as you can. “You like that? Scaring girls half your size?” You’re not sure either why you’re running your mouth. It must be the high of incoming death. “Does that make you feel powerful?” He doesn’t even pause, and pulls his shirt over his head to drop it aside too, then licks his lips.

After a slight moment of silence, he just shrugs. “Yeah. It does.” You scramble back until you reach the head of the bed, and pull your knees to your body. And the man crawls closer anyway, reaching to grab one of your ankles and drag you back. You don’t know why you’re struggling. It’d be easier if you laid down and died. As if reading your mind, he chuckles as he yanks you down until you’re spread out on your back, and pins you in place beneath his heavy body. “Don’t be so frightened. I’m not actually going to kill you.” He pushes over you, and makes sure you’re nose to nose when he talks next, basically drooling as you try to escape from him. “Just going to hurt you pretty bad. Don’t you like that?”

You struggle against him, but it’s not enough. He ties your hands to the bed painfully tight, letting the frayed edge of the rope burn into your skin each time you move- and proceeds to cut your clothes off with the knife that was hidden in his waistband. The torturous pace at which he does everything is almost worse, setting your entire body on end with anticipation. You thrash against him as he places a thigh either side of your body, and grabs your face in a large, rough hand. Once again you feel reminded that you’re really nothing in the face of someone more powerful. It’s frustrating. It’s annoying, and hurtful, and a migraine starts gnawing at your head as you glare up at him. And he almost pouts at you in mockery. “It’s cute that you’re trying so hard. You can cry, you know?” He leans in to lick along the shell of your ear down to your neck. “It’s going to happen sooner or later anyway. Why deny yourself?”

The hot touch of his tongue sears into your skin like it’s poison. You try to pull your wrists loose again, to no avail. The skin just feels achy and burning. “That’s really what you want to do, right? Cry for mommy and daddy to save you?” When he pushes back up to your mouth, laying his filthy lips on you again, you’re quicker than you think - and actually manage to bite him. It’s not enough to cause much damage before he jerks back, clenching one hand over your mouth to shut you up. But he runs a thumb along his bottom lip, and slowly starts grinning. Blood glitters on that finger before he licks it away, and raises his dark eyebrows at you. “Aren’t you brave…”

Before you have time to prepare yourself, that heavy palm meets your cheek, stinging it all over and rushing blood to the surface — it’s hard enough to pull real tears out of you, and your nose to start running as you bury your face into your arm. The sting spreads under the surface like fire. The low chuckle he lets out is mean and predatory, definitely when he takes that as an opening to start groping you through your bra, and soon that’s shoved up too to let him pet all over you. “Good. I don’t have to feel bad about all this, then.”

“Mh- hck-,” you whimper, trying to ignore the painful tugs he gives your nipples, pinching you. It still sends heat to your belly, and somehow that’s the most embarrassing thing of all. You hate him. More than anyone. “I-”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. I won’t believe you anyway.” He quickly whispers back, leaning in to force his mouth to yours and kiss you, tongue pushing against your teeth until you give in. He tastes like blood. His own, from the cut that’s not yet closed up; and he kisses like he’s trying to consume you. Rough hands knead and toy with your tits until you start squirming, before they glide down and make enough space to peel your panties down your thighs torturously slow. “Ahh, you look good like this. So pretty. Stay there.” He chuckles to himself as he gets up and you whine, not for him, but more his dragging it out. It’s not like you have a choice about staying…

When he comes back to you, something cold makes you jerk your eyes open. It’s something long and capped metal at the end, not sharp enough to stab you clean through— but it’s still hard and sharp and anxiety has you freezing below him. “Wh- what, what are you-” Would anyone even come help if you screamed? 

Toji slaps the thing into his palm a few times, before those mean eyes glide over you, and you find yourself crossing your legs tight to protect your most sensitive areas instinctively. The sound of the metal whipping through the air is more than enough to put fear into you. Your lip trembles when he gets back onto the bed, and mirth plays in his eyes. “This is going to hurt.” Then he whips his hand down and instantly, your eyes shoot open with pain. Blood splatters as he cuts you open, each impact leaving a cut and nasty thumping that will make a bruise, telltale sign of a cursed tool.

“Ack- no, no- please stop! Stop, stop, please! Please, it hurts! It hurts!” Your eyes clench shut, but tears well up and come out anyway, making tracks down your cheeks. It stings so bad, and after even just a few lashings, you can’t stand it. Everything’s glowing and burning, hot all over as your knees knock together. Another whip has you trying to pull your arms out harder, to no avail. You don’t want to look, but the pain in your hands tells you that the heat running down your arm must be blood. Didn’t he say he wasn’t going to kill you? “Please, please, Toji. I’ll do anything! Anything, please- j-just no more.”

“I refuse.”

“Please~” you sob, only opening your eyes to see how he stands bent over you with his tongue caught between his teeth, head tilted in curiosity like a dog. The whip is dripping red, hot blood down onto his hands, and though it seems impossible to have so much blood coating everything- it’s yours, right? He stays quiet for a moment or two, and the thick tears wobble over your vision. “Please, I don’t want to die. Please. Please. I’m -” your throat closes up when he leans his heavy weight down over you and hovers his lips over your mouth, “I’m beg-begging you.” One hand comes up to grab your face, and he buries his nose into your throat, where a wet tongue starts swiping along your skin.

The soft groan he lets out is foul, coming back up with his mouth full of your blood, and he grins. “Keep going. Beg like a good girl~” Then he dips down, forcing his tongue and the coppery, familiar taste into your mouth, melting his lips to yours as he hums. His strong chest meets your naked, pitiful form as one hand comes down to yank your leg up around him, and the kissing gets more distracting, warmer, deeper — you want him to stay just like this. “Keep talking,” he whispers again, lower this time, and when you’re opening your eyes his stained hands are back to kneading your tits. “You’re sort of cute covered like this, whining like a baby. C’mon.”

Red’s covering everything. Every cut on your body is searing and tight and painful, and he’s pushing his thumbs along the closing wounds as if he’s trying to leak every last drop out of you; but you can’t really feel it. It must be adrenaline you feel coursing through your veins like a drug, goading your heart into pumping so hard you can see it bounce through the skin. “Pl-please.” Your chest rattles, as he watches you. As he degrades you, lifting both your legs up to your chest to spread you for him. “Please, Toji. Please f-fuck me instead. I w- need you to.” He takes the knife used to cut off your clothes, and ever so slowly drags it along the supple inside of your thighs.

And though you jerk, and your jaw clenches while tears fall, you can’t help it. You’re shaking your head, but your pussy clenches around nothing. “Please, please, need you. I’m sorry, I want- I want it. I wan’it… daddy.” Despite the short inhale he takes, sharp eyes pinning you beneath him like the crying mess you are, it’s not his reaction that has you blushing, heat filling your entire face with that cottony feeling. You’re so fucking weak. It’s pathetic.

“Hah,” he snorts when watching you wiggle and cry, presenting your wet, little hole to him, “whiny brat.” His hand lands onto your pussy and it makes you jerk again, squirming against his strong grip, before he turns his palm to grind into your clit and his fingers teasing into the soft folds. The wet squelching doesn’t stop the stinging tingling down your entire body, but - it’s also so unfair. You can feel yourself drip as his thick fingers slide in and out of you again and again, pushing into your plush walls just right. “Call out for daddy, go on.” You don’t want to know how much of it is blood, or how much is your own body betraying you.

You don’t see when he takes off his boxers, now finally as naked as you are - but you do see it when he starts rubbing the head of his heavy cock over your slicked up slit, catching your clit every once in a while. He cocks one brow at you at your silence, and softly hums a deep, raspy breath. You really are weak. “Daddy, daddy, please- pl-hck- please put it in, I’m losing my mind.”

“Seems like it,” he mumbles back, a cocky grin reappearing right before he grabs himself by the base and leads his fat cock inside you with no further warning. He’s too big as soon as he shoves himself inside halfway, grabbing your hair as you wiggle against him. The other half is forced deeper as his cock bumps your walls, makes your pussy drool and clench, and your mouth hangs open as you try to keep from screaming. Your back lifts off the bed a few times, legs opening wider to make room for his thick thighs as he bottoms out and stretches you too thin. “That’s a nice noise.” He’s laughing.

You can’t relate. Your entire body feels wound too tight, legs locking around his glutes in the naïve hope for some reprieve— before he pulls back and holds himself above you. Scared pecs and arms flex when he pulls all the way out, only to thrust back in too deep and have you choking on it. It’s hitting so deep it leaves you speechless. “Make it again,” he gloats as he chuckles into your face, before kissing you again, and this time he bites your lip, hard enough to taste copper. Oh, fuck. You cling onto the ropes for dear life with your numb fingers, and try to wrap your legs back around him with a choked whimper; but you can’t.

You’re shaking, and your pussy’s clenching and sucking around him hard each time his hips meet yours and heavy balls smack against your ass. You feel like he’s going to fuck you through the wall. Drool’s mixed with the blood you swallow, letting his tongue melt to yours, and make you even more needy for air. Each pump inside you gushes more slick out of your cunt, lewd noises and ‘pap’s filling the room along with his grunts. And you only pull away to gasp, and get pulled down onto him again and again. “Daddy, daddy, I’m- gonna- cum.”

And he plants a hand on your throat to squeeze until your eyes cross, free hand going to hold your shivering thighs in place as he buries his cock deep into your plush walls. “Dumb, dumb girl- I don’t need- ugh- you to tell me that.” You’re folded double entirely as he keeps the rhythm entirely ruthless, and your belly starts tightening under your body jerks shut around him, crying out. You can’t even feel your hands anymore, and your breathing’s so shallow and confused you’re lightheaded. Your toes curl so hard you feel like you’ll pass out, but Toji doesn’t stop. Not even when hot ropes of cum fill the heat of your spasming pussy up and spill out— he doesn’t even slow.

All Rights Reserved © IWAASFAIRY 2023. Works are exclusive to this Tumblr.

[mypoisonedvine]

dark dilf delinquent season cillian lusting after the new neighbors daughter; who not so coincidentally has a penchant for undressing with her curtains open 🫣 & sneaking in guys who kinda (definitely) maybe resemble cillian? from her club nights 😭

he’s dark & like kinda pathetic but we love him anyway

i feel like this is too specific but I can’t get the thought out of my head 🥲

it is very specific but I'm not mad, and I love writing a pervert <3 but a dilf AND a pervert?! yes please!! obviously I love this concept cause I went a liiiiitle overboard with it, oops...

𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙤𝙧 | neighbor!reader x dilf!cillian

length: 3.3k

warnings: m and f masturbation, voyeurism, slightly dark but not very much, unspecified age gap, infidelity

When it first started, he really was just trying to read. It wasn't his fault that the book was boring, or that your curtains were open, or that he caught a glance of you in your window.

It was innocent then, too— he liked watching you do normal things, like put on jewelry or laugh on the phone with a friend. It made him smile... he wasn't sure why, but it just made him feel a little better after a long day, seeing you up there, reminiscing on his younger days as he got a distant view of yours...

But it had been months since it started, and it was far from innocent now. He'd become an expert at compartmentalizing the shame; he'd become addicted to the cycle, to the watching and the waiting and the sick anticipation— not to mention the fear that someday, you'd notice him watching. The fear, and yet, the hope.

"Fuck," he panted under his breath as he wanked himself— not too fast yet, but certainly much faster than the slow and teasing strokes he liked to start off with. You were taking off your shirt, pulling it over your head and folding your arms in that crazy origami way girls do that he'd never totally understood; he bit his lip as his eyes dragged over your back, trying to imagine how it would feel to run his fingers up your spine until you arched it just right—

He heard the kids yell downstairs and he stopped for a second, heart pounding with nervousness as he feared they might come up and knock at the door. He used to only do this when they were gone... but he couldn't pass up an opportunity like this, a perfect view of you stripping in the window.

The noises stopped and his movements started again, fisting his cock with a stifled groan as you reached behind your back and undid the clasp; even having seen your tits probably a dozen times by now, his mouth was slack and dry in anticipation of you turning around and letting him see them again.

You teased him for a while longer, messing with your hair and stretching your arms up until he found himself mumbling between panting breaths: c'mon, baby, show me— lemme see, sweetheart, fuck, please...

Sort of like willing a stoplight to turn green, it's obviously not possible but it will work at some point: you turned and faced the window, your eyes shut with a sigh as you started to open your jeans. He had to grip his cock's leaking head tight just then, too overwhelmed with the view of your breasts— he was afraid to come too soon.

He'd never had to hold himself back like this before, never delayed his gratification— because, normally, it's totally antithetical to the point of masturbation. He only ever jerked off for the gratification, and he only ever watched porn to help get there a little faster... but you, you were so much better than porn. The thrill of doing something wrong, the longing of knowing you (if not very well) in real life, the lack of control over you and being, in a sense, at your mercy as you undressed as slow as you wanted... it was all just terribly erotic. And he refused to let himself come until you let him see a little more.

You slid your jeans down your legs and he actually bit his lip, just to muffle his moan. "Yes," he whispered to himself, cock pulsing in his grip as he watched you step out of them, turning around to lay them over your bed— and giving him the perfect view of your ass in those cute cotton panties as you did it. "Fuck," he grunted, twisting his hand over his tip and feeling his hips jerk instinctively— he couldn't think of the last time he was so sensitive. "See what you do to me?" he chuckled to himself— he wished you could see it, but then again, he had his lights off in the room for a reason. All you could see was a dark window, and for now, he preferred to keep it that way.

You laid back on your bed, looking relaxed and contented as you ran your hand down over yourself— fuck, is she about to--?

You slipped your hand into your panties, and he tilted his head back with a heavy sigh, only allowing himself a second to shut his eyes as his balls tightened up, threatening to blow it all right then and there. He'd never actually seen you touch yourself before— though he had seen you take a vibrator out of your bedside drawer and, infuriatingly, go to take a shower where you presumably got to use it with complete privacy. The image in his head had been plenty to get off on that night, but seeing you now as your fingers moved under the thin fabric, your lips opening for what he hoped was a quiet little moan? It was almost too much to bear.

You spread your legs a bit, the angle giving him a hint of a view of what you were doing; he sat up in the chair, leaning to the side a bit, desperate for a better look at how you were touching yourself. Were you just rubbing your clit, or were you going to put a finger or two inside? "Baby," he panted to himself, watching your tits get harder as your hand moved, "baby... y-yeah, just like that, fuck..."

The sight of you playing with yourself was just too beautiful; he had to keep reminding himself to shut his mouth so he wouldn’t make too much noise, but then it would just fall right back open again as you arched your back.  

“Feels good?” he noticed, raking his gaze over every sign of your pleasure.  “Tell me how good it feels…”

He wanted to imagine your voice, then, the way you’d respond to him: feels so good, Cill.  You’d never actually called him that, you always called him Mr. Murphy.  He tried not to acknowledge how much that turned him on, but anyways, he couldn’t conjure your voice in his head anyways.  He hadn’t spoken to you in weeks, not since you’d babysat for him and his wife… he tried not to acknowledge how much that turned him on, either.

Seemingly out of nowhere, you took your hand out of your panties and expanded your cheeks with a big sigh; he knit his eyebrows together, watching you roll over and grab your phone off of the nightstand by your bed.  His sicker side instantly assumed you were going to find some porn to watch, but your lackadaisical attitude about the whole thing made it seem more like you’d had a sudden mid-masturbation urge to check Instagram.  Kids and their phones, he thought to himself, even though you were far from a kid— he was just much, much further from one than you were, is all…

And, this should come as no surprise by now… that turned him on too.  He’d come to be weirdly fascinated by his own perversion, finding it just as shameful as he did sexy.

His phone vibrated on the desk and his screen lit up— he wasn't going to answer it at first, nothing was more important than watching you right now... but then it went off again. He looked at it and back at you, seeing you getting up suddenly and walking around the room... surely you hadn't come already? It certainly didn't look like it.

Even though he couldn't imagine why you'd stopped so abruptly, he figured it was a good opportunity to make sure the messages weren't important. He awkwardly got up and grabbed his phone, feeling a bit strange about walking around with his jeans open and his erection poking out. Unlocking his phone to read whatever was sent, he felt a massive sigh leave his chest as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

He never even saved your number, but he recognized the previous conversation you'd had-- just a few texts back and forth about a little backyard gathering your parents were having, and some question about when you needed to come over to watch the kids, but you usually messaged his wife about that kind of stuff.  But since he’d committed those brief conversations to memory, it took him only a split-second to know it was you— and, obviously, seeing that you'd just texted him, he thought his heart might just stop right then.  He had to blink some blurriness out of his vision to even read them, with how fast the damn thing was beating.

hi mr. murphy.

turn on the lamp on the desk.

He whipped his head around to look back at you, only to find you smiling around a bitten lower lip, staring right into his window.  Fuck.  Fuck!

He set his phone down, not sure what to do— and quickly locking the screen as he realized you’d probably seen the glow of it.  He groaned softly again as he watched you sit down on your bed again, facing directly towards him, those pretty legs spreading nice and slow as your hand moved over your panties again.  Fuck.

He felt like he was in a dream or something as he flipped on the lamp— maybe it was an out of body experience.  If he was out of his own body, he at least knew whose he wanted to get into: he never took his eyes off you as he slowly walked back to his chair, sitting back down in it and meeting your half-lidded gaze as you tossed your phone away and used your free hand to toy with one of your hard nipples.  “Fuck,” he said aloud this time, seeing your eyes trail down to his cock— it was still out, of course, sticking up proudly against the black shirt covering his stomach.  Maybe it was proud, but he was a little bit terrified, his face getting hot as he snatched the throw pillow nearby to cover himself with; he saw you laugh, sighing through his nose dreamily as he wished he could hear the sweet sound of it, and then shake your head with a grin.

You stood up then, turning around and bending over as you ever-so-slowly pulled your panties down, making him purr as he got a thorough look at your bare ass.  You looked too damn good bent over like that— what he would give to stand behind you, pushing your shoulders down with one hand as he gave that cute arse a good spank with the other—

He saw you looking back at him, a proud smirk on your face; “Dirty girl,” he scolded under his breath, watching you stand up straight and sit on the bed again.

Your legs were pressed tightly together, and when he look up to your eyes, he found them focusing on the pillow in his lap; you met his gaze again, a pink tongue darting gently over your lips.  A silent promise: I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.  With the way it made his heart pound and his palms clammy, he felt like a schoolboy all over again.

He grabbed the pillow and slowly moved it away, your legs opening at the same pace in perfect time with it; he groaned through a tight jaw as he stared at your pussy, one of your hands running down to spread the sticky lips even wider for him.  “Fuck,” he moaned, holding onto his cock tightly again as he felt totally helpless to the sight of it, unable to look away.  “So fuckin’ perfect,” he mumbled, starting to stroke himself as you bit your lip again and rubbed your clit with two fingers— the nails still had that baby pink polish, the one he’d watched you paint on a few nights ago.  Why was something as simple as that so sexy?

Your mouth fell open, and your head tilted back; he tried to imagine how you’d sound, your sweet voice a little darker and deeper with pleasure.  You rubbed yourself a little faster, a little harder, and he felt his lips curl into a sneer.

“Good girl, like that,” he panted, “play with it for me.  Play with that cute little cunt— f-fuck, yes—”

You looked at him again, eyes glued to his cock, and he felt it flex in his grip as if it wanted to wave to you; he saw you smile, an oddly sweet smile for something so dirty, and he watched your fingers slide down to your tiny, seeping opening.  He nodded in encouragement, watching your face fall into a shockingly innocent gasp as you slid a finger into yourself.

“Yes, baby,” he moaned, “y-yeah, s’it warm inside, sweetheart?  Bet you’re so fucking tight, baby, I know your pussy is so goddamn tight—”

You pumped the single finger in and out, head falling back for a moment, and he squeezed his cock tight again to try to hold back another close call— he’d feel pretty stupid coming so fast with you watching, but he’d been doing this a lot longer than you had… fuck, how long had you known he was watching you?

Your mouth opened wider as you pushed another finger into yourself, and his hips shifted roughly in the chair, his hand moving faster as he growled.  “Fuck, it’s not enough, is it?” he hissed.  “Two little fingers isn’t enough— you need my cock, fuck, you need my fuckin’ cock— I’d fill you so good, sweetheart, I’d be so fuckin’ deep inside you—”

He was almost bucking up into his own hand now, his whole body suddenly pulsing with energy— it was a good thing you weren’t here now, even if he wanted it more than anything: he would’ve treated you awfully if he could’ve gotten his hands on you, fucking you hard and rough, tossing you around, pinning you down… he needed you so bad, he couldn’t imagine having the patience for anything but one of those nasty, fast, rough, animalistic fucks.  He’d fucking ruin you right now, if he could.

You were rough about it, too— roughly pinching and tugging on your tits, roughly fucking yourself on your fingers… you even pulled your hand out and gave your clit a little smack at one point, and he choked on his loudest moan yet as your body jolted.

“Dirty fucking slut,” he growled, “fuck, come for me.  Please, baby, I need to come, I need to fuckin’ come—”

You were saying something, obviously he couldn’t hear a damn word of it, but the shape of your lips made him pretty damn sure you were chanting over and over: yes, yes, yes—

“Come, baby,” he begged, knowing he couldn’t hold himself back much longer, “let me see— show me how you come, sweetheart, show me that pretty face when you come on your fucking fingers— soak them, honey, come for me—”

You were shaking all over, legs quivering and tits bouncing with the force of it— you pulled your fingers out and he could fucking see it, see that cute little hole flexing, and obviously he was done for pretty much instantly.  He moaned roughly as hot ropes of come painted his shirt, rolled down his shaft and shaking fingers, one drop even finding its way down his balls which was sort of pleasantly ticklish…

You looked so gorgeous coming like that, your hand and pussy all shiny with your arousal, your eyes heavy and your lips swollen from all the biting… he blinked quickly as he tried to catch his breath, letting go of his slowly-softening cock and leaning back into the chair.  You smiled at him; funny how, even now, that could make his heart skip.  He watched you stand up and wiggle your fingers in a cute little wave at him as you approached the window, and his tired smile fell quickly when you reached for the curtains.  “N-no, don’t go,” he pleaded softly, leaning forward as if he could stop you somehow, “please, wait—”

You slid them shut suddenly, and he whined a little as he fell back into the chair, running his (clean) hand over his face as he contemplated what he’d just done.  When his phone vibrated again, he jumped up to grab it, but frowned in disappointment when he saw it was from his wife.  Be home in a few, please come help with the groceries.

He tried to type a quick reply, only to grimace when he realized how filthy his hand was.  He wiped it off on his shirt— but his shirt was filthy, too.  Sighing, he set the phone down and took the whole thing off, balling it up to toss into the hamper, leaving him in just his undershirt.

Going straight back to his phone, he opened the conversation with you, praying to see that little grey bubble pop up or something; he started to type a few times, things like will I see you tomorrow? or come over next time the house is empty, but he always felt like an idiot and ended up erasing it.  He didn’t get a chance to think of a good thing to send before he heard a car pulling up in the driveway.  Shoving the phone in his pocket, he sighed and made his way downstairs, navigating around the pillow fort in the living room to get out the front door.

“Just help me with the bags in the boot, will you?” she asked him, not even looking at him, as she rifled through whatever was in the backseat.  He opened it, sighing as he looked at them.  Nothing like a bunch of brown bags to bring you back to reality.

His eyes widened when he heard his wife say your name, and he poked his head around the car to see you standing there, wearing a zip-up and leggings.  “Good evening, Mrs. Murphy,” you smiled, and he figured he looked like a deer in the headlights— if a deer could hold a paper sack full of pasta and biscuits— as your gaze fell on him.  “Hi, Mr. Murphy.”

He opened his mouth to try to respond, but nothing really came out; “Looks like you’re going for a run,” his wife noticed, saving him for the time being as your attention turned to her again. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, “figured I could use some exercise.”

He cleared his throat, just a way to try to fight the lump forming in it, but it unintentionally caused both women to look at him again— once again, he found himself uselessly floundering for a response, and only getting out a soft ‘er’ before you said something.

“Aren’t you cold in just a t-shirt, Mr. Murphy?” you asked him, tilting your head.

“It’s fine,” he choked out, “I was feeling kind of hot anyway.”

You smiled at him, then waved goodbye to his wife as you pushed your earbuds in and continued walking down the street— you were acting so innocent that he started to feel like he’d dreamed up the whole thing.  

She probably saw him staring, watching you jog down the sidewalk, that ass looking terribly familiar covered by the athletic leggings; but she didn’t say anything, only shutting the car boot to get his attention as he finally carried the paper sacks into the house.  "She's sweet, isn't she?" she broke the moment of silence as they walked up the driveway together.

“I-I guess,” he tried to sound as non-committal as possible.

“You don’t think so?” she pressed, apparently noticing his cryptic answer.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “maybe she’s not as sweet as she looks.”

[brickmvster]

please don't go (i'll eat you whole) | L.K.

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader

synopsis: you make love to leon before he leaves you.

word count: 1,906

warnings/tags: established relationship, smut with feelings, angst, pre-spain or just pre-mission in general, some light fluff if you squint kinda (i'm sorry), p in v sex/penetrative sex, unprotected sex, aftercare

author's note: i'm gonna be honest. i am a little nervous. more so than usual bc this is my first time writing for leon! i love him so much, he's definitely one of my comfort characters, and i wanted to write something angsty but also kinda bittersweet like this for a loooong time and i finally got around to it. i really hope you guys enjoy, comments are always appreciated <3 this has been proofread more than once, but just in case, any and all mistakes are mine! also, just fyi, i wrote this with re4r leon in mind, but you can imagine whichever leon floats your boat if you really want to lol.

p.s. it's not written in here but pls pee after sex 😭

minors do not interact, please and thank you!

You clung to him for dear life; as if he was going to disappear in front of your very eyes.

You were above him, peering down into his deep eyes. His eyebrows were knitted together in pleasure and his lips, which were currently rosy and swollen after the frequent kisses you had given them, were ever so slightly parted as soft groans emerged from his throat. His large hands never stayed still for longer than a minute – he gripped your waist before sliding them down to your ass, kneading the soft flesh before moving them up toward your breasts, squeezing gently, before bringing them back to your waist, where he helped with guiding your languid movements. You moved your hips like an expert, riding him as if you’d never have the chance to again.

With the rain pattering against the window and a sliver of moonlight filtering through the room, it was almost like a scene from an erotic novel. The room carried the scent of sweat and sex and was filled with the noises that spilled from your lips non-stop. You didn’t even know how much time had passed – but you knew it was late. You knew Leon had to be up in the morning. But you wanted to prolong this moment with him for as long as possible. Leon wanted to as well, as every time he got you close to your peak, he slowed down, dragging out your orgasm in a way that was almost painful, but you enjoyed every second of it.

You were growing tired, your legs beginning to shake as your rhythm became a bit off-kilter.

“Leon…” You moaned, his name coming out so softly it almost wasn’t audible. But Leon, ever so attentive, heard you loud and clear, and he knew what you were trying to tell him.

He flipped you over with ease, while he was still inside of you, spreading your legs further apart and starting up a steady pace. All you could do was grip the bed sheets, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he drilled into that spot that made you see stars. He wasn’t aggressive or rough, but his thrusts were certainly hard-hitting and relentless, and you knew you only had a few minutes.

At some point, you closed your eyes as you tried to focus on your impending orgasm, feeling as if you were in a complete haze – but Leon’s voice pierced through your foggy mind.

“Please look at me.” He said, his low voice sounding a bit strained and even a little desperate; who were you to deny him of what he wanted?

It took a momentous amount of effort, but eventually you were able to open your eyes and keep them open, looking up at him. Leon lowered himself a little, allowing you to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. The slightly different position made his thrusts feel even deeper, and you cried out into his neck, your fingers going into his shaggy blonde hair.

“Keep looking at me. Please.” He said softly, and so you did, maintaining eye contact with him the best you could as he continued to piston his hips into you. Suddenly, Leon was becoming blurry; you could feel the wetness on your face as tears began to fall. Leon often made you cry during sex – he was a fucking god in bed after all and usually made you feel so good that he’d leave you sobbing from the intense pleasure after multiple orgasms. And while that was definitely the reason you were crying now, you also knew that there was an underlying reason for your tears. Leon knew the other reason, too.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” He asked you sweetly, still keeping up his quick pace. All you could do was nod fervently, digging your nails into his back. He always loved when you did that.

“Yeah? My sweetheart is gonna cum for me?” He urged, and the pet name that rolled off of his tongue only made matters worse.

“Fuck, Leon–please, give it to me.” You said, your voice trembling. You felt all of the telltale signs. There was a tight coil forming in your lower stomach, ready to pop like a balloon. Leon could sense this, could hear it in your voice and could feel it in the way your pussy was squeezing around his cock. He raised himself just a bit, lowering his hand down between your legs, using his thumb to rub your clit in circular motions while he continued thrusting.

Leon’s name emerged from your throat so loudly that you even drowned out the rain. Your eyes squeezed shut, your back rising off the bed in a beautiful arch, your climax hitting you in waves. You felt like you were in heaven, the tears falling even more freely from your eyes now. Leon just ogled at you like you were a work of art. In his mind, you were.

He was also close, and mere seconds after your orgasm his own came crashing down on him too. With a few more sloppy thrusts he found himself stilling inside of you, his release filling you to the brim. The feeling of being so full of him was one that you would never grow tired of.

Eventually, you came down from your peak, your limbs feeling like heavyweights. All you could do was lay there and cry some more, letting every single emotion overtake you completely, your sobs shaking your entire body. Leon was comforting you in an instant, pulling out gently and lying next to you, allowing you to bury your head into his chest. The two of you laid like that for several minutes, with Leon cradling your head and rubbing your back.

You did calm down after some time passed, and that’s when Leon tried to get up, but you clung to him again.

“Please don’t go.” You said, your voice small and hoarse. “Don’t go, Leon, please.”

“I just wanna clean you up, okay?” Leon replied, wiping away the wetness on your cheeks. You didn’t even care that his cum was leaking out of you and making your thighs a mess – you just wanted him to stay by your side. But you knew he was just trying to take care of you, so you reluctantly released him.

Leon kissed your cheek before getting off the bed and going to the bathroom. While you waited for him, you tried to keep your eyes open. You didn’t want to sleep, because falling asleep meant that morning would come quicker, and truthfully you didn’t want the morning to come at all. You knew it would be coming no matter what, though – but goddamn it, you tried to prolong it the best you could, even when your eyelids were growing heavier by the second.

Leon came back, now clothed in his boxers (that you didn’t even notice he had thrown back on), a small washcloth in hand, and a glass of water that he set on the bedside table. He pushed your legs apart yet again and wiped you clean, touching you so gently as if you were some kind of porcelain doll. It only made your heart grow fonder. You were going to miss these moments of tenderness.

He made you sit up, just enough so you could drink the water that he had prepared for you. You took a small sip, to which Leon encouraged you to “drink a bit more, sweetheart,” so you did, and when he was pleased, the glass returned to its spot on the bedside table, and shortly after he was crawling underneath the comforter with you.

The warmth of the comforter and Leon’s body next to yours made it even more difficult for you to stay awake. Leon saw you struggling, catching the way you would doze off and then immediately wake yourself back up.

“Please, rest.” He muttered into your hair. You hugged him tighter.

“Do you have to go?” You asked him, even though you knew the answer.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Was all Leon could say in response.

You felt a lonely tear roll down your cheek yet again. But you were far too exhausted to cry some more. Instead, you sat up, looking at Leon intently. He returned your direct eye contact, sitting up himself to lean against the headboard and match your height.

“Promise me,” You started, holding out your hand. Without hesitation, Leon held it, locking your fingers together and giving your hand a slight squeeze.

“Promise me you’ll come back home.” You asked him, like you always did before he left for a mission. Every single time, he would give you the same answer.

“I promise.” He replied firmly. You knew deep down that asking Leon to make promises like this was unrealistic. He never fully understood what he was getting himself into until he arrived at the mission location – and you knew that despite his skills as a trained government agent, accidents always happened, and there was no way to know when things would go awry when he’s out in the middle of nowhere. But hearing him utter those two words before he left eased your worries just enough.

Trusting Leon was always easy.

“I love you.” You said softly, fitting back into Leon’s side perfectly, like you belonged there.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” Leon replied, before tilting your chin up with two gentle fingers and kissing you with a fiery passion. You two lazily kissed each other until sleep started pulling you into its dark embrace. You didn’t fight it this time, resting your head on Leon’s chest and drifting away to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

The next morning, the two of you shared one last breakfast. You mostly sat in comfortable silence. You asked a couple questions about the mission, but didn’t get straight answers – it was confidential. You knew that already but always liked to ask questions anyway.

Right as Leon was about to walk out of your door, you stopped him. You took a few moments just to stare at him – he was as handsome as the day you fell in love with him.

You brushed some hair out of his face, kissing him slowly, savoring the feeling of his lips on yours for these last few minutes. When you pulled away, you were sporting a warm smile, feeling your eyes sting as tears threatened to spill. You kept them at bay.

“Don’t you dare–” You paused, your trembling lips making it difficult to speak. When you collected yourself, breathing in and out, you continued.

“Don’t you dare ruin this jacket. I love it on you.” You said, referring to the brown leather jacket that Leon had bought himself recently and was currently wearing. He had a tendency to ruin clothing items on his missions, and you hoped this one would survive.

Leon chuckled. The sound immediately filled you with warmth. You were going to miss that sound; God knows how long you’d have to go without hearing it everyday.

“Copy that.” Leon replied, a laugh bubbling out of your throat.

You shared one more embrace. The final hug was one the both of had trouble ending. But it had to come to an end eventually.

And then, Leon was gone. All that was left was a memory.

[juniperskye]

She’s Definitely Guilty.

Based on the following ask: hi !! i love love love your work! (no seriously, you make me giggle and twirl my hair it's kinda ridiculous) could i request something where the reader is being interrogated by hotch (whether she's guilty or not is totally up to you!) he's using all his intimation tactics, the stern voice, the glare, maybe even shouting or hitting the desk. but the reader is kinda just captivated by him, blushing and all hot and bothered (like please yell at me more sir.. 🤭 oh? you think i'm a person of interest? you're totally interested in me aren't you.) anyways ty ty!! <33

Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 2167

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive! Nonnie I hope you like this because idk this one was hard for me to write lol

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, some language, explicit thoughts, reader is horny for Hotch, no use of y/n, fem reader, no physical description other than hair length, let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story

“She’s in the interrogation room whenever you’re ready Hotch.” JJ informed him.

“Thank you JJ.” Hotch replied with a curt nod.

Hotch double checked the file in his hand before entering the interrogation room. You had been brought in for questioning in connection with a string of murders. You hadn’t been exactly sure of the reason you were here, but you hadn’t felt worried, considering you haven’t done anything wrong.

The door was pulled open, and all of the air in the room seemed to escape. You couldn’t believe how hot this man was…maybe being brought in wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Hotch looked up and found himself doing a double take. He hadn’t expecting you to be so captivating…could you really be caught up in all this?

As Hotch took a seat across from you, he couldn't help but notice the way your eyes sparkled with a mixture of defiance and curiosity. He cleared his throat, trying to push aside the unexpected flutter in his chest as he opened the file.

"Thank you for coming in, I’m Agent Hotchner. We just have a few questions regarding your whereabouts last Friday night," Hotch began, his voice steady despite the turmoil within him.

You tilted your head slightly, a small smile playing on your lips as you answered his question calmly, your alibi seemingly airtight. But Hotch couldn't focus on the words; instead, he found himself drawn to the way your hair fell gently over your shoulders and the subtle scent of lavender that surrounded you.

As the interrogation continued, Hotch realized that maybe, just maybe, there was more to this case than met the eye. And as he excused himself from the room, he made a silent promise to unravel the mystery not only for the sake of justice, but also to see you again. The case suddenly felt more personal, and Hotch knew he couldn't let it go until he had all the answers.

Days passed as the investigation progressed, with each piece of evidence leading to more questions than answers. Hotch found himself thinking about you at odd hours, wondering if there was a chance you were truly innocent or if you were just an expert at hiding your secrets.

One day, a breakthrough finally came in the form of a witness who claimed to have seen you on the night of one of the murders. Hotch's heart sank as he read the report, but a small voice in his head urged him to dig deeper.

Convinced that there was more to the story, Hotch decided to call you back into the precinct. He wouldn’t let you get away this time.

As you entered the precinct once again, this time escorted by two officers, Hotch kept his gaze steady on you. He noticed the slight flicker of surprise that crossed your face before it was quickly replaced by a mask of composure.

"Please have a seat," Hotch gestured to the chair in front of him, his tone neutral but his eyes piercing into yours. "We have some new information regarding your alibi on the night of the murder. Care to explain?"

You leaned back in your chair, maintaining eye contact with Hotch as you calmly refuted the new evidence presented to you. But deep down, a sense of unease started creeping in. Hotch was different this time, his determination palpable in the air around him.

Hotch listened intently to your words, observing every flicker of emotion that crossed your face. As you finished speaking, he leaned forward slightly, his voice taking on a steely edge.

"We know you were at the scene of the crime that night," Hotch stated firmly. "And I'm not leaving this room until you tell me the truth about what really happened."

You try to remain calm and collected, but you can’t help but feel flustered. A heat creeping its way up your chest and neck, landing on your cheeks. His firm tone had you pressing your thighs together, you were losing control of your body, all because of the man in front of you, accusing your of murder.

With a deep breath, you met Hotch's unwavering gaze and decided to take a different approach. Leaning in slightly, you locked eyes with his and spoke in a voice just above a whisper.

"Agent Hotchner, I understand why things may seem incriminating, but I assure you, there's more to this than meets the eye," you said with a teasing lilt in your tone.

"Help me understand then," He urged you to continue, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception.

But instead of delving into the details of the case, you leaned even closer, your breath brushing against Hotch's cheek as you whispered softly, "Or maybe we could take a break from all this seriousness. You and I could... explore other ways to pass the time."

Hotch's jaw clenched in frustration, his patience wearing thin as your flirting only seemed to escalate. He leaned back in his chair, a deep frown marring his features.

"This is not a game," Hotch growled, his voice low and dangerous. "People's lives are at stake here, and you think this is some kind of joke?"

You leaned back, feigning innocence as you tilted your head to the side, strands of hair falling across your face in a calculated display. "I never said it was," you replied silkily, your eyes dancing with mischief.

Hotch's patience wore thin as he slammed his fist on the table, causing you to jump in surprise. "Enough!" he barked, his voice reverberating through the room. "Tell me the truth, damn it!”

As Hotch's anger flared, you couldn't ignore the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins. Despite the gravity of the situation, a devilish grin tugged at the corners of your lips as you met Hotch's intense gaze with a provocative glint in your eyes.

In a brazen move that caught both Hotch and the officers off guard, you leaned forward once again, the air crackling with tension between you and Hotch. "Or perhaps you enjoy playing the tough, relentless interrogator," you murmured, your voice laced with seduction. "But we both know there are other games we could play."

Hotch's jaw tightened further; his frustration evident as he struggled to maintain his composure in the face of your blatant flirtation. The observing agents exchanged uneasy glances, uncertain how to proceed in this unexpected turn of events.

With a sly smile playing on your lips, you pushed further, pushing Hotch's buttons with deliberate intent. "You want answers, Agent Hotchner. But maybe I'm the answer you've been looking for all along," you purred, your words like a dare hanging in the charged atmosphere of the interrogation room.

Hotch's steely facade cracked for a moment, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his features before he regained control. "Enough games," he gritted out, his voice strained. "You either start talking or I'll have no choice but to place you under arrest."

Your smile widened at his threat, a glint of defiance in your eyes as you leaned back, taunting him with your silence. The tension in the room was palpable, a battle of wills raging between you and Hotch. You both shifted in your seats as Hotch tried to figure out how to proceed.

Agent Rossi entered the room just in time to witness the tense standoff between Hotch and you. His expression hardened as he took in the scene before him, sensing the undercurrent of tension that buzzed between you and Hotch.

"Hotch, we caught the actual killer," Rossi announced, breaking the charged silence in the room. "And you're not going to like who it is."

Hotch's eyes flashed with a mix of relief and frustration, torn between the unresolved situation with you and the urgency of catching the real culprit. He turned his gaze towards Rossi, silently urging him to continue.

Rossi took a deep breath before delivering the bombshell revelation. "It's Jenna." He said gravely, watching as recognition dawned on both your faces.

You felt a surge of disbelief and anger rise within you at the mention of Jenna's name. She was your best friend, someone you trusted with your life. And now she was trying to frame you for a horrendous crime. The pieces of the puzzle were slowly falling into place, painting a picture of betrayal and deception that left you reeling.

Hotch's eyes narrowed as he processed the information, a mix of emotions flickering across his face. He turned back to you, searching your expression for any sign of involvement in Jenna's crimes.

"You knew about this," Hotch stated more than asked, his voice laced with accusation.

You shook your head in disbelief, the weight of Jenna's betrayal heavy on your shoulders. "I had no idea," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "She was my best friend. I never thought she was capable of something like this."

Hotch studied you for a moment, his gaze piercing yet contemplative. After a beat of silence, he let out a heavy sigh, the tension in the room dissipating slightly.

"We'll need you to give an official statement," Hotch said, his tone softer now, empathizing with the shock and betrayal you must be feeling.

Rossi quietly explained to Hotch that they found all the evidence in Jenna's home, meticulously laid out as if she wanted to be caught. When they confronted her, she admitted to everything, explaining that she didn't want to live in your shadow anymore. She had been envious of your success, your charisma, and the way everyone seemed drawn to you effortlessly.

As Rossi recounted Jenna's confession, Hotch's expression softened with a mix of understanding and pity. He could see the pain in your eyes as you processed the magnitude of Jenna's betrayal. The realization that someone you trusted implicitly had orchestrated such a twisted scheme left a bitter taste in your mouth.

Hotch placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, a silent gesture of support amidst the chaos of emotions swirling around you. You turned to look at him, surprised by the tenderness in his eyes, a stark contrast to the intensity he usually exuded.

"I know this must be difficult for you," Hotch said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. "But we need to get your statement to close this case once and for all."

You nodded, grateful for Hotch's understanding in the midst of the turmoil consuming you. As you recounted your version of events and the moments leading up to your wrongful arrest, Hotch listened intently, his unwavering gaze never leaving your face.

Once you finished your statement, there was a brief silence in the room as everyone processed the weight of Jenna's betrayal and the impact it had on you. Hotch broke the quiet tension with a decisive tone.

"I'll make sure Jenna faces the consequences of her actions," Hotch's eyes softened as he looked at you, his usual stoic demeanor giving way to a rare vulnerability.

“Thank you Agent Hotchner, how could I ever repay you and your team for catching Jenna?” You asked, batting your lashes at him.

Hotch's gaze met yours, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes at your flirtatious tone. He cleared his throat, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he replied, "I think seeing justice served will be reward enough."

You couldn't help but feel a surge of boldness, encouraged by the intensity of the moment and the shared connection forged through adversity. Leaning slightly closer to Hotch, you lowered your voice to a whisper, a teasing glint in your eye.

"Are you sure there's nothing else I can do to express my gratitude?" you asked, your voice laced with playful insinuation.

Hotch's expression flickered with surprise before a spark of something else - maybe desire - passed through his eyes. He cleared his throat again, regaining his composure as he replied in a more businesslike tone, "I appreciate the sentiment, but catching criminals is all part of the job."

Despite his professional demeanor, there was a subtle warmth in Hotch's eyes that gave you pause, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken connection between you. Hotch's gaze lingered on yours for a moment longer, the air between you charged with unspoken words and untamed desires. As the weight of the moment hung heavy in the room, you felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins, urging you to take a risk, to push the boundaries of this newfound connection.

In a daring move, you slipped a piece of paper out of your purse, scribbled down your number, and slid it across the table towards Hotch. Your heart raced as you watched Hotch pick up the paper, his eyes flickering with surprise before his lips curved into a small, knowing smile.

“My number, in case you think of a way that I can repay you.” You shoot Hotch a wink before making your way out of the precinct.

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Hermitcraft / Life Series Fic Recs

Because I love so many of them...

I'll split the fics into completed and updating fics, and try to only recommend currently updating fics (i.e., not abandoned). I'm going to write a little about why I like each fic and what the general vibes are - so this is also a kind of review I guess?

I've tried to @ the authors if they have a public tumblr. Sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged, I can remove any @ if you ask (or if I have embarrassingly tagged the wrong person). Anyway, enjoy, and I appreciate reblogs because I want as many people to see these fics as possible!!

This ended up being incredibly long so I'm putting a divider here. Click to keep reading!!! Also, fair warning: shipping ahead! Some fics will have mild sexual content, please read the tags if you are unsure <3

Updating Fics

I have already recommended Help Me To Breathe, lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart), and There Are Monsters Nearby in this post, so I won't explain why I like them a second time, but definitely check them out!!

Death's A Good Gig by @mawofthemagnetar is probably going to be finished by the time this post gets to you, reader, but I'm putting it here anyway. It's short and sweet, one of my favourite representations of Zedaph (or, Zedeath) I've read, and just a joy to experience. If you like grim reapers and discussions of unions, this one is for you. Also I need more Zedaph in my life.

Look, I'm Sorry, Please Stop Scaring Everyone by @cat-in-the-desert reminds me a lot of a particular TV drama I liked when I was younger, which followed a similar premise. This fic follows Mumbo (vampire) and Grian (ghost) as they get up to various housemate shenanigans and meet their local magic-expert and salesman Scar. This fic is fun, but still includes a nice amount of Feelings and hinted-at Angst which I really love. It's lighthearted, but never boring.

It Hurts To Hope by Inquillitory is my favourite of the "Grian crash lands into Hermitcraft and causes problems for everyone" genre. Seeing how many fics there are with that premise, I think that says a lot. It handles Grian's weird Watcher stuff really well. Honestly, I just want to know what happens next!

killing the boy in the tv by @raspberrystruck is like a sickfic on steroids. If you want Grian with so much past trauma he forgets how to function in society, this is basically the fic for you. I really love how hybrid traits affect the characters' interactions in this fic, and how everyone is kind of messed up because of the imbalance Grian brings. It is wonderfully descriptive in all the right places!

Love Me Like I'm Dead by @daniofcrows is such a gem. You know how hard it is to find good Xisuma whump? It's impossible. I absolutely love how Xisuma and Evil X are characterised in this, and I am obsessed with the unique take on hanahaki disease which I have never seen handled in this way before. The balance between flashbacks and present day is maintained wonderfully and I cannot wait to continue reading this one. Wow.

Oh, you wanted me to do a verse? by @bugbbear is... kind of indescribable. It's horror. It's comedy. It's the apocalypse. It's boatem. Scar eats someone. One of the most interesting and unique apocalypse stories I have read. Slowly updating but worth the wait, in my opinion. This one NEEDS more attention.

So Much For Stardust by @a-plethora-of-peters is basically one of my all-time favourites. Which is a damn good achievement seeing as I don't usually read ZITS fics. Like, ever. In this fic, Skizz is a human abducted and hurt badly by aliens, now recovering in the care of good aliens who don't know how 'sentient' he is. Every update of this one makes me smile, it is wonderful. I love how the characters are written and how the different perspectives are shown. It is just great.

Solar Waltz by @raspberrystruck and aroundtheclock is a brilliant and very very sad regression fic. I love fluffy regression fics as much as the next guy, but this one just... hits different. The hurt/comfort levels are off the charts. Grian is so damn cute the whole time, while also being harrowingly complicated and sad. I am so ready for whatever comes next.

Tango's Castle of Cards by @evilrat-sabre is the one where Tango is a BUG. He's just a little guy (horror). This one is so beautifully written, with poetry-type interludes and perspective changes that really make everything feel so much more impactful. Finding out your buddy is a murder bug isn't the easiest thing in the world. I love this so much.

Traveling Thieves {Dark Fantasy AU} (series) by @amethystfairy1 is basically one of the series of all time. I know I keep saying that but it really really is. I love a good fantasy au, and I love an au with hybrids even more. In this world, hybrids are treated like slaves, but it isn't all doom and gloom for the main characters of each installment. There is a lot of hurt/comfort and the different stories feed into each other in really interesting ways. I try to read as much as I can, though I've missed a few because my emails are buggy. Definitely worth reading these fics, especially since now they're all starting to come together!

Completed Fics

Solving Counting Sheep by @theminecraftbee might have rearranged my brain chemistry a little. Another strong contender for 'fics that inspire me to kill Grian', this time with a more concrete notion of "replacement". Three is my favourite fucked up living weapon. It's so rare to find Evo fics in this day and age, too. This fic had me immediately clicking on every update as soon as I got the emails.

Rescue Fire by @imaginethat0327 is one of the most unique takes on a fictionalised life series game that I have ever read. The whole concept is explained in a realistic and easy-to-follow way, as we learn what's happening with the characters. There are several brilliant storylines happening in this one, but my particular favourites are Jimmy & Tango, Joel, and of course Scar & Grian. This fic is full of whump and, well, read the tags, it isn't always pleasant, but those are my favourite things ever. Definitely worth checking out this fic and its currently updating sequel.

don't you know about me? by takenbadgering is a wonderful comedy of errors with just the right amount of angst for a realistic setting type of fic. If you enjoy polyamory miscommunications, rave aesthetics, kandi, school teacher dynamics, and a lovely blend between grumbo, cubscar, and mumscar, this is the one.

Eventually the Birds Must Land by @milo-hypno follows a polyam ship I would have never thought of, and I cannot believe how much I loved it. This married-as-friends fic premise is wonderful, and captures the main trio (Grian, Mumbo, Impulse)'s personalities so well, while balancing them with the incredibly terrifying descriptions of the Watchers and their power. There's a lot of angst here, but it is ultimately hurt/comfort to the maximum degree. I loved reading it as it updated. Yay for gay marriage!

From The Archives (series) by @sixteenth-days was the absolute inspiration for my own Comms AU, and I will never forget its influence on me. As someone basically unfamiliar with TMA, I thought this series might be hard to follow, but it was not! I read all 57 parts in the span of two days, and I think it altered my brain chemistry. Please read it, even if (especially if) you don't know anything about TMA. The Cleo and Grian storyline lives in my head rent free. I mean it. This is horror at its finest. Also there's an audio series of this fic being released rn, which is very cool.

SUPERCRITICAL by @masque-of-plague hits different. It is such a wonderful take on the superhero/HotGuy trope, and it gets so super dark at some points! This one really takes swings at it's fictional government, which of course I love, while at the same time building this brilliantly emotional relationship between Scar and Grian. I do enjoy a bit of enemies to lovers, but the actual plot mixed into the story makes this one extra special. It is thrilling, with action that I don't get to see too often! Great work.

I am weary with contending! is one of the mumscarian fics of all time. From 'this house has people in it'-type horror, to magic gone wrong, to childhood trauma, to attempted assassination, to gender fuckery, this fic has it all. Usually I don't go for convex siblings, but this one is good enough to get a pass from me. Amazingly detailed worldbuilding alongside a brilliantly creative story.

It Spreads by @foxxology may not count as a fic, actually. It's a comic. But it's posted on ao3 so it counts. I was obsessed with this one as it was updating, honestly. It rocked me to my core. The art is phenomenal. The writing is brilliant. I love sculk.

Luck of the sea by Sleepy_Duck is a lovely take on mermaid and human interactions, with Grian as a marine life conservator and Scar as a very neglected mer. This one takes us emotionally in all sorts of directions, and offers lots of hope for the future of the characters. I heavily enjoyed this fic - if you like mermaids and marine biology, check it out.

there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag is another mermaid fic but with a pretty different vibe. First of all, it follows what I would consider a rarepair Doc/Martyn. Second of all, reading this as it updated was a thrilling experience that nearly made me cry at certain points. I love how the relationship builds in this fic. It is honestly amazing. The whole idea of experimenting on a sentient sea creature, learning that he can communicate, then losing funding and having to save him from being dissected?!?! It's crazy. I love it.

Thus concludes my fic recommendations. I hope you enjoy at least some of these, and consider reblogging to spread these wonderful fics around <3

[divine-crows]

Witches Compass, the Barebones Basic Guide:

What is it, Why would I use it, Is it for me?

Introduction

This is an aspect of my path that I'm currently exploring more deeply, and as I learn to navigate it and reveal more ways it's useful to me I've noticed an increasing passion towards the subject. I'm by no means an expert on the subject, but I hope I can provide a post that helps explain the concept to those who are curious.

Reccomended Sources

The Crooked Path: An Introduction to Traditional Witchcraft by Kelden

Besom, Stang, and Sword: A Guide to Traditional Witchcraft, the Six Fold Path & the Hidden Landscape by Christopher Orapello and Tara-Love Maguire

Traditional Witchcraft: A Cornish Book of Ways by Gemma Gary

The Witch Compass by Ian Chambers

I'd like to note that of the books I don't have copies of the first three listed sources, but when I was initially on my journey I had access to them digitally and they opened my eyes to the concepts I'll be speaking on. All of my written information will be paraphrase from my grimoire as a result.

What Is The Witches Compass?

I honestly would divide it into two different answers, there's a long answer and a short answer.

Generally I'd say: The Witches Compass is a means similar to casting a circle that allows you to traverse the Hedge (perform astral work), work with spirits to perform spells, and to harness the powers of the directions to tap into your abilities.

The more 'esoteric', long answer I'd give: The Witches Compass is both a tool and a method comprised of symbolism, story telling, and allegory. These three elements allow the user to tap into their "unconcious mind" so they can better perceive the spirits and world around them. To put it short, the Compass is an inherent part of us-- seeing as it's a part of our perception --and it's up to us to use the tool as we see fit-- whatever symbols and stories we attribute to it is up to us.

How does the Compass differ from casting a Circle?

I have some Key Ideas based on observation and what I've read:

A circle intends to keep out Spirits, the Witches' Compass generally does not

A circle is intended to raise energy, The Compass generally is about focusing and maintaining energy

A circle is usually ritualistic in intent; focused on consecrating a space, a Witches' Compass isn't nessicarily ritual focused.

Similarly, a Circle usually is opened with specific steps and must be closed with a specific set of steps, the Compass (while having steps from others you may want to follow) doesn't always have to follow specific rules and has a lot less to do when closing it.

This one is a little more personal, but I generally relate the Circle to tapping into Higher Powers, and I likewise attribute the Witches' Compass to tapping into Earthly Powers (though it's not mutually exclusive).

I highly reccomend you explore both methods and try them out, Circle Casting is definitely still a very useful skill that you can use.

Why Would I Use It?

I'd highly reccomend giving it a try if you fit into the following categories:

You Like/Want to explore. . .

Hedge Work

Spirit Work

Forms of Folk Magic

Animist forms of Spirituality

Challenging yourself with differing or new concepts

Visual based workings

There's a lot of ways for you to learn to incorporate it into your beliefs. If you're concerned about wanting to adapt it into your practice and you have a baseline understanding on the subject, I highly reccomend looking at the last book in the reccomended list because it gives you a lot of exercises that will help you broaden your understanding of the Witches' Compass.

How Do I Tap Into the Compass?

These are some baseline ideas on how you might begin your journey to tapping into the Compass. These are exercises I do to help me better understand it.

Meditating on each direction was one of the first steps I ever took. I focused on sounds (both imagined and literal), visuals, and feelings as I faced each cardinal direction. I then wrote them down so I could further investigate what it means to me.

Finding out what I correspond with each direction helped me out a lot too. That can include elements, tarot card courts, colors basically anything that you place high importance on. It should be noted that in the reccomended sources they do give ideas on correspondences, but I reccomend you explore your own ideas so you can better understand it.

Creating a story for each direction is an idea I've been planning for a while. I want to basically tap into each element in a meditative state and create a short story inspired by my deities, my practice, etc. as a means to better explore how the Compass fits into my faith. You can also attribute stories already known to the Compass as well.

Tying into the previous idea, you can use stories to apply deities, archetypal figures, etc. to each cardinal direction for guidance. Be careful and mindful if you do so, that way you can be respectful with whatever you work with. As a celtic pagan, I've been finding ways that the deities I worship can represent each direction as a means to better interpret and I've found its helped me develop a better understanding and relationship with the deities I worship as a result. Of course, you don't have to incorproate deities, you can even use nameless beings if you want. What matters is you have a representation of each facet.

Practicing laying the Compass is self explanatory. I will say, there are differing methods out there and as you become comfortable you may build your own method to do it. Generally, I'd reccomend a trying a more well known method first so you can get an understanding of the symbolism, general vibe, etc. After the first couple of times if it really doesn't mesh well with you, then I'd say you can definitely explore more into what you'd like to do. You don't even have to do anything too significant either if you don't want to. Try it for simple spellwork, try it for meditative purposes, whatever you feel will ease you into it.

Try to interact with spirits of the land (if they're willing), especially since a part of the Compass is forming working relationships with the landscape around you I'd recommend it heavily. If you're like me and you can't freely or safely explore at random I recommend going places you know you're safe (even if it's as simple as your backyard!) and find a way to covertly do so. For example: instead of visibly laying a Compass and going into a clear trance-like state you can draw one out in a notebook and pretend to be writing in it while connecting with spirits.

Overall. . .

I covered some basic definitions, differences between casting a circle and using The Compass, and some ideas on how you can start your work. Now it's time for you to do some research given that you have an idea on what the Witches Compass is!

This post is merely skimming the surface and there is much more for you to uncover.

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Yandere! Rival! Male! Teacher x gn! Teacher! Reader

This one is long overdue I'm afraid. Have my boy, Elias >c< not much yandere traits here, but I hope y'all enjoy still!

Trigger warning: toxic academic set-up

Yandere! Teacher name: Elias

Elias was about to loose his mind.

For years, he's the teacher that produced geniuses! It's his class that had majority of their students on honor rolls. It was his magnum opus, his way of teaching that pushes his kids to full potential.

Parents scramble to have their children under his advisory. He made sure that all of his students become the talk of the school.

Pressure? What's that? The students should be privileged to be under him and his care!

After all, Elias started small.

He's the black sheep of the family. The entirety of his family members were geniuses in their own right.

Of course, it meant Elias is also a genius.

But he kept getting outshined by his own step-brother, Tae-Joon.

Tae-Joon is not as much of a genius as Elias when it comes to academics, but he's charismatic to a tee and is an amazing singer.

Amazing in fact that he's a popular idol.

And poor Elias always getting snubbed due to his brother's naturally nicer personality.

And Elias? Straight up nasty sometimes. His tongue is sharp and is always more pessimistic than optimistic. He's higher than thou personality definitely earned him a lot of enemies. Even his own family.

He knew that he can't count on his own family to give him the validation he wanted. So, with a resentful heart, he made sure to snub his own family and focus on himself.

This made him want to help other people. And he did it by offering tutoring lessons to his struggling, dumb, and idiotic classmates who can't understand such a simple topic.

Well, not everyone can be a genius like him.

But this proved to be a good path, as Elias found out that he had a knack in teaching. His way of teaching was so easy to understand that a toddler will be able to know how to do physics.

It's odd, but it's true.

His classmates suddenly became experts on the subject and this snowballed into others wanting to learn from Elias too.

This inflated his ego a lot. He loved the fact that people wanted to learn from him. The validation he seek was given by his tutees who praised and thanked him for making them not just understand, but even excel in their chosen topics to be taught with.

And Elias knew he wants to go down the Education path.

At first, he's a bit whiplashed by how different actual teaching is to the "ideal" way of teaching is. It was almost too good to be true that even the professors said that the ideal way is just a bunch of baloney that they can just flat out ignore the way once they're actually on field.

Not for Elias though.

He wanted to bring to life the "ideal" way of teaching.

So once he graduated, he continued to exert so much effort in his instructional materials, his facade of approachability, but still so strict that it feels like you want to choke from it. Sure, he has the art of being a perfect teacher to a tee, but people know that Elias is a demon in disguise. He hates it when things don't go his way, or the rules aren't followed. One trash means a personal lection that ends up with the students in tears.

The parents? Only said that their student must have deserved it to have stoked the ire of the respectable teacher. Like a brainwashed hive, the parents and other staff say that "Teacher Elias won't do anything without reason". This meant that the students are walking on eggshells everyday. And they know they'll get Elias' anger if they don't improve at all.

And, with Elias' incredible way of teaching, and the "ideal" way combined, the students under him become geniuses.

Like his family genepool, the children Elias' produces are geniuses in their own rights.

Elias felt whole now. He has a family to boast about, to care and love, and to nurture unlike his idiotic family who favors his brother over him.

But what he didn't expect is that by the first recognition ceremony, his class will be shoved aside just like that by another class.

Elias walked down the isle up to the stage, smiling proudly as his stoic yet prideful students stood up to receive their recognition. 25 of them are in the honor roll, and 5 of them are high honors. That much elicited a thunderous applause from other classes.

With his head up high, he put medals on each of his student and gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. Everyone was mystified as this class took their awards with such entitlement and arrogance that some found it off-putting.

Did they care though? No. Did Elias care? Also no.

They're the pride of the academy! Who would dare to mock and snide them?

After giving the students their medals, they sat down and waited for the other classes to get their awards.

Elias' students, adapting his high and mighty attitude, looked down on the other students who walked to the stage to receive their "measly" awards of perfect attendances and other irrelevant, non-academic awards.

"Thank you, class Uranus. Now, class Neptune, the art program class!"

Art program class? When was that added?

Elias sneered. In his head, he hated anything that concerns art because of his brother. It just reminded Elias of being untalented other than being a genius and snubbed because of it.

He crosses his arms, looking at the adviser and scoffing.

Y/n L/n. From what he remembers, you are the same age as him, and was from a different school before you transferred here in the current school year.

What could a new teacher do in such a short time? Nothi--

"Class Neptune, boasting 5 high honors, 2 highest honors, and 23 honor students, and excellence awardees for their respective art specialty."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

Everything went quiet when Elias stood up, disbelief marring his face as he heard the emcee say the tally of the class.

It was so quiet save for the background music that sounds embarrassingly loud for such a pin drop environment.

Elias, feeling his ego and pride getting kicked and bruised, slumped down on his chair as he stared at you who was looking at him with disbelief.

You...

You're an enigma.

How did you do it?

He bits his nail, his eyes low and shadowed as he watched your sweet and proud smile directed at your happy students.

You don't look arrogant, nor prideful. Just happy and elated for your also equally elated students. No pretenses, no eyes that judges others, just pure joy.

It pisses him off so much.

That's where he knew he must take over you. Nobody dethrones him as the best teacher in the academy! Especially not some art teacher. Anything but an art teacher.

Once school resumed again for the second semester, he spotted you walking along the hallways with your students tailing behind you, talking and chatting happily.

"tch." Elias says underneath his breath as he watches how comfortable the students are with you. He envies it.

"Oh? Good morning Mr. Elias." You found him by his doorway and smiled politely. "Do you need something?"

He freezes, not realizing he's looking at you too intently. He clears his throat, looking away in embarrassment.

"I need nothing, art teacher. I will get going." He said coldly, slamming his class door close.

You didn't like that.

"well, that was rude." You whispered, clasping your hand together.

In all honesty, you didn't really like how Elias leads and teaches his class. You saw how tense they are, always studying and studying with nothing to do afterwards but only studying again. There must be a balance at all times.

"Let's go kids." You said sternly, looking at the closed door intently, sensing a competition forming.

After that, it was tense always.

Doesn't help that your class is across him.

Your students weren't hostile with them initially, but after the blatant aggression from them due to being upstaged in the recognition ceremony, they're starting to pick fights too.

So, whenever you saw Elias, you became hostile also. Not outwardly like him who's openly glaring, but you have your reservations as you smiled curtly everytime you pass by him, and words stringing along some sarcasm in them.

School events like quiz bowls, spelling bees, even exams became a fierce competition that made your students head butt with each other.

And you always made sure to support your students in a way that's opposite from Elias.

Elias pressured them, always making sure they're working hard by being extra strict than usual that one thin slice to the air can cut the atmosphere.

Meanwhile you encouraged your students, making sure they're well rested and happy while doing it. You made sure not to force them to do these honestly toxic rivalries.

So, guess which one excelled more?

"WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH ALL OF YOU?!" Elias yelled at his students, completely dissapointed at their performance at the annual intramurals' quiz bowl. Other than in the World Literature and Science section, they were second to your class. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOURS I SPENT TEACHING ALL OF YOU?!"

He's so close to snapping. Maybe he already did. But now he's going insane.

Everything he believed about himself is shattering slowly because of you and your class.

What's even eerie is that the students are just looking down, unfocused or dissociating.

Annoyed and feeling like he failed them, he marched out of the classroom and slammed the door close.

He sped walk outside, sitting on the grass as he tried to suppress the imminent tears settling on his eyes.

"fuck... I'm such a failure." He gritted out, gripping his once perfectly ironed shirt. "This is all I'm good at and I'm still lacking at it?! What am I doing wrong?"

He started to question everything. His worth, his value, his time and knowledge spent on nurturing geniuses like him.

Is he even a genius? Or just a hard worker?

"Sir Elias?"

He jumped, looking at you. Your eyes were wide with concern as your voice mellowed out from the usual curt yet cold voice you always sported when talking to him.

You sat down beside him as he looked away in shame.

"what happened? I heard yelling and..." You whispered, a gentle clasp on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Elias' throat burned, and his jaw trembled as he tried to stop himself from crying.

Did he really just have to get comforted by his rival? Really?

But god, did it feel nice to have someone care for him.

"I'm... I'm not." He whispered, looking away. "I know I'm a terrible person for pressuring these bright young minds but... How do you do it, y/n? How do you nurture students to their full potential? Are you some kind of monster or what?"

For the first time, you laughed out loud in front of him.

And for the first time also, it made his heart skip a beat. What's happening to him?

"No, I just... Teach normally." You said. "Well, other than that, I don't really pressure them to do anything. But I encourage them greatly with intrinsic motivations. And I make teaching enjoyable."

Enjoyable? When was the last time Elias enjoyed something? No. When did his students last enjoyed studying?

"Really..." He whispered, looking down. "Enjoyment, huh? And motivation?"

You smiled and stood up, handing your hand to him.

"Truce? I could teach you how to be less strict and let your students be more inclined to study without potential punishment." You suggested.

His eyes followed your hand, and his heart raced.

Without hesitation, he clasped it.

"Hey, did you do our project?"

"Yeah, duh. Here's mine."

"That looks so good!"

"I had help from the Neptune Class for the planets. It's actually really fun to paint, believe it or not."

"I had help too in exchange of teaching them with physics."

Elias smiled, looking at his students actually Converse with one another and not just burying their heads on their books. The once quiet classroom is bustling with life thanks to you.

After that fateful day, you taught him on what's the most important. And it's the students, not the academic gratitude.

Elias apologized deeply to his students, and they had a heart to heart conversation that you supervised to make sure both sides say their thoughts equally.

Now, the Uranus class is livelier than ever.

And you?

You're still the same brilliant teacher he came to admire and love.

Love is a loaded word, but he truly felt grateful to you. You made him see the truth, the light, and the way to become a teacher he tried to achieve by pretending.

He found himself wanting to be around you more and more.

At first, it truly was just gratitude. But now, he can't bear to be away from you.

You're his salvation that he deeply desired in his heart.

He wishes to worship the ground you walk on, the breath you take in, and consume your entire being to be with him.

His heart lurched when a student called for his name, breaking him from his train of thought.

"Teacher Y/N is here for you!" The student said, pointing at the door.

He quickly closed his phone, which the wallpaper is a stolen photo of you just outside of your home, and pocketed it.

You're the only one who understands him. The only one who asked him if he's okay, and sees him for him and not his genius.

And he'll be damned to let you go.

You're his family now, alongside your students.

He can feel the heavy weight of the engagement ring in his backpocket.

In his head, there's no way you're going to reject.

And if you do...

He shook his head. It's impossible! Truly impossible. He won't allow it at all.

In his head, you two are perfect for each other. He'll worship your entire being, and spoil you rotten. It's going to be a good life with him.

But the both of you aren't even together at all.

What will happen?

Who knows.

All you must know is that things aren't gonna go smoothly no matter the choices.

He's too far in his head to think properly.

[tofupixel]

Thank you for getting me to finally try pixel art! I‘ve always wanted to get into pixel art but I never knew what to start with and always ended up procrastinating. Your blog and the post you made on learning pixel art were what finally pushed me to give it a go. It was really helpful and I managed this little animation in Libresprite.

I definitely want to improve and your art is like the ultimate goal lol. Do you have any tips or instructions for how to get better or on what to focus on in the future? I‘d appreciate any kind of criticism/input you are willing to give! How do you manage to make such gigantic and beautiful landscapes?

thank you!! and i'm so happy you decided to give it a real go, you're doing great already!! the rendering on the body and the pink shading is really nice.

i can help a little with animation stuff but i'm not an expert, ill write something out about backgrounds at the end

i hope you don't mind but i edited the sprite a little, just to illustrate some stuff

🤺Animation stuff

i added an extra frame near the top of the arc so it slows down. this is called ease or slow in/out and usually happens at the beginning and end of movements. u can do even more slow but this is just a quick version

i also removed the middle frame (where the tail is straight down) to make the swing appear a bit more powerful. this could be the principle of timing in the same video. you can exaggerate smears if you do this, its up to you!! lately i tend to exaggerate stuff a lot, things arent super noticable in motion

i also got a good bit of advice from nickwoz that helped me, basically when you begin to animate, it really puts the rest of the sprite being still into focus. try to think of how you could animate other parts of the body, even subtly. and sometimes if individual pixels stay still they can catch the eye in an unintended way as well, just keep it in mind!!

if you want to learn animation more, you could take a look at duelyst sprites, they have incredible idle and ability animations, i study them a lot

heres one i downloaded a long time ago. i recommend just downloading stuff you like and looking at it!! i have a huge collection of pixel inspo. slowing animations down can really help you understand whats going on. its just a bunch of simple elements put together that makes it look so good.

IF U WANT MORE RESOURCES/ARTISTS I REOCMMEND TO GO AND STUDY LMK!!! IM LIKE A WIKIPEDIA, I AM A BIG FAN of pixel art and love to share

🌿 OK lets talk about landscape stuff

it looks like you have art experience already, but im gonna talk as if youre a complete noob cos it might help some other people who read this!! ur doing great 👍

❓ how to learn: study (and practise a lot)

what i mean by study: draw it, copy it, try to understand it. you can try to change characteristics about it. changing the angle or lighting can help u understand how something works in 3 dimensions.

sometimes it takes time, dont worry, you will figure out your own style through doing studies, its all a process

❓ how to draw landscape details?

study pixel artists and how they do it recommendations: fool, slym, jubilee, deceiver

also please look at real world references!! you got to build that visual library

❓ how to learn composition?

study traditional artists or animation. i did a ton of studies of ghibli backgrounds which i think helped my growth a lot recommendations: arcane, studio ghibli, traditional painters

im gonna break down a piece as well and maybe that will help. this is one from 2022 but its still one of my most popular and its pretty simple too!!

if we remove all the fancy stuff what we have is actually really simple. just a few large, overlapping shapes that all point towards our focal point. it's the brightest area with the most contrast and many edges point into it.

go to pinterest or google and just search "pretty landscape" or "mountains" or something and you can see what i'm doing is nothing special or unique!! break it down into bigger shapes to begin with, its just different areas of material mostly.

and heres how you can make any landscape from any colours. purple sky or mountain? orange grass? ok !! it all works, it doesnt matter. i just blend the colours.

when parts of the landscape are in the distance they become closer to the sky colour as there is more "sky" in between you and it. its called atmospheric perspective. so if the sky was red, the clouds would fade towards red.

OKKK i dont know what else to say so i hope that helps!! honestly 90% of what i do is intuitive and hard for me to really explain, so you dont have to know The Rules, you just kind of pick up stuff as you go.

GL and thanks so much for showing me your art!! please keep going!! 💕💕💕💕

[spirk-trek]

hii this is really random but i'm writting a paper on star trek fanfiction from the 60s/70s and i was wondering if there were any fics youd recommend? are there any like iconic, keystone fics that are really significant to the fandom? (i'm having a bit of trouble sourcing pre-internet fics)

Hi! I'll try to help the best I can but I am by no means an expert- in fact, many people who end up seeing this may have better/more information so I'll extend it to any of them to answer as well :)

Disclaimer: many of the following links contain nsfw content!!!

Here is page 1 and page 2 of what might be the first known k/s fanfic published in Grup fanzine (1974). Grup is credited as being the first Star Trek fanzine with adult content. This fic, A Fragment Out of Time by Diane Marchant was vague enough that it had to be clarified as k/s in a later edition, but the author did do so.

Spockanalia is always a good source for early fandom. It is the earliest and best preserved example of fanzine content (beginning in 1967 before the second season had even aired). I'd definitely say that makes it influential! So much more can be found on the internet archive and on fanlore. Copies of Spockanalia found their ways into the hands of many people involved in the show, including Roddenberry himself.

Gayle F is a prolific fanzine artist (one of my favorites) for k/s and is also influential to k/s writing. She was behind the Cosmic Fuck Series (yes really lol) which begins with Desert Heat (1976) in which Spock prematurely enters his second Pon Farr with only Jim available to him. This is the first mention (that I know of) of Spock's "double ridges" which are still a fanon element of his anatomy today (fanlore link here).

Alexis Fegan Black is another name to know, but is actually the pen name for author Della Van Hise. She did a lot of her work in the 80s and beyond, so I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but I think she's very influential. You may know about her licensed trek novel Killing Time (1982) because the first edition was recalled for being way too gay (changes between the two versions are best documented here imo).

Jenna Sinclair was very influential but again, a lot of her works came a little later than what you're looking for (note: ao3 does NOT have the correct dates, you'll need to find those separately).

A few more links to throw at you:

List of Star Trek Fanzines

List of Star Trek SLASH Fanzines

Captain's Log (1968)

The Crewman's Log (1967)

Spock's Showcase (1968)

Spock's Underground (1968-71)

The Sensuous Vulcan (slash zine, 1977)

Thrust (slash zine, 1978)

I hope all these links work and at least something I mentioned is helpful for you!! Good luck! I'd love to hear about your research if you're so inclined to share :)

[aebinspa]

let's kill the romeo

PAIRING: ricky x y/n reader

GENRES: angst, fluff at the end, rude ricky but with a motive, fashion world!au, enemies to lovers that never been enemies, reader doesn't know his feelings, ricky has always been faithful, wendy (rv) is reader's best friend, wendy only did damage but at least she was hot, misunderstandings distance ricky and reader until in the final part everything is resolved for the best, second hand embarrassment

WORD COUNT: 4.4k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: english is not my first language! this story was born in my mind in one way but ended up becoming something else. i'm not happy with it, i wanted to delete it. i wrote it in many days, between one commitment and another, and I made it even worse. i hope that by publishing it someone can still appreciate it! :(

A last-minute black V-neck dress, heels borrowed from your best friend, and a vintage clutch your grandmother left you wouldn’t be enough to save you from the embarrassment of being at a party full of billionaires. It was all your best friend's fault, a famous ambassador for a luxury superbrand who had invited her to bring a companion. And when she asked you to come with her, you couldn't help but say yes; she was your only friend.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" your best friend asks you innocently. “It’s all too much…” “I know, but the party won’t last very long. A chat over there with the CEO of Dolce & Gabbana, an hour at the buffet, and everything will pass” “I don’t know anyone…” “I just saw a colleague of mine over there! I'm going to her!” The idea of rushing straight to the buffet and spending the entire party there seemed alright to you.

Having grabbed some snacks and established some rules with yourself such as “Don’t look men in the eye for too long”, “Don’t stare at other women’s clothes” and “Don’t drink too much alcohol”, you sat down on the first available chair to enviously watch all the beautiful women in the huge ballroom of the villa where the party was being held. How beautiful it must be to be so tall and slender.

After an hour of contemplation you realized that you had completely lost sight of your best friend and, huffing loudly stressed by the situation, you thanked the first waiter you found and took two glasses of wine to drink. With a heavy step, you headed towards a door that had caught your attention. The door was all dressed up in shiny gold, making it look super fancy. Laurel leaves wrapped around the edges, also in gold, adding a nice touch to the whole thing. It stood out and made the entrance feel special, catching the attention of anyone who walked by. How tacky.

After looking around to make sure no one could see you, you tried to gently open the door, which turned out to be open to your great surprise. Inside, in a small room with a velvet sofa in the center, paintings were displayed on the walls, which—even though you were no expert in the field—seemed strangely familiar and extremely expensive.

“This painting by Monet is particularly mesmerizing, isn't it?” You almost jumped in the air with fright and the glasses - previously in your hands - fell to the ground and broke, and the terribly expensive wine ended up spilling all over the imposing figure who had whispered in your ear a second before. “Oh God I'm sorry, are you okay?” Even though you were trying to dry the Valentino tuxedo he was wearing with your hands, the boy didn’t seem to be upset and kept his posture straight. “Do you have any idea how much it costs?” he asked, looking you up and down. “No?”

The blond ran his hand furiously through his hair. Tall, handsome, blond, definitely rich, and, the cherry on top, unbearable. Why me? “Can I pay for the laundry?” “That wouldn’t solve anything” I have two pennies in my account, there’s not much I can do, idiot. “Well then I'll go” You didn't even realize it, but the boy stood in front of the door to block the exit.

“You’re not leaving. You have two problems to solve.” “Which ones, your majesty?” you asked with your eyebrow raised. A cheap dandy didn't scare you. “First, the shards of the glasses you broke. Second, my fine tuxedo" “I can't take the glasses in my hands, I risk dying, you know how it is,” the look he gave you to intimidate you was of little use “And then, speaking of your cheap tuxedo, I offered to pay for your laundry but you refused!" “In no world can someone repay a Valentino jacket and pants with a machine wash?”

Oh, if only you could have hit him, but everything in there could have been traced back to you. From the fingerprints on the door to the fingerprints on the glasses. “There’s a way.” “Let’s hear the bullshit, little prince.” I’ll leave as soon as you say it, asshole. “Work for me. A week as my secretary will be enough for you to pay me back the suit" The satisfied smile that appeared on the blond's face as soon as he saw your mouth open in amazement was not a pretty sight to see.

“How… what… You’re crazy. I’m leaving” You didn’t even have time to turn around before the boy grabbed your arm and forced you to turn and face him. “Leave me alone” “It costs six thousand euros” “What?” “My suit” “Ah”

Maybe it would have been better to mind your own business from the beginning. Maybe it would have been better to eat everything on the buffet: it would have cost you less. This time you felt guilty. “I… I’m sorry, I don’t have the money to pay you back, so, let me go” “No, as soon as you step foot out of this room I’ll go tell the CEO everything. We are great friends and, well, colleagues.” He flashes another of his annoying little smiles.

“Who cares, I don't owe you anything except laundry and a clean shirt” “You owe me a week as my assistant, otherwise it won't be you who will be affected, but those you know” "Excuse me?" “You’re not a model and you don’t work in the luxury fashion industry. You must have accompanied someone. It only takes me two seconds to find out who brought you here and you’ll see what a guy like me can do, besides buying a luxury suit” Now you were in real trouble. Getting your best friend involved meant ending up on the list of shitty friends to quickly forget about.

“Threats are illegal and you're threatening me. I will work for you for a week, but you dare use that tone with me again, just once, and I will make your life hell” It must have been the bloodshot look you were giving him or the way your hands were shaking as you said it, but the boy, faced with such a scene, responded by laughing. “Then I’ll see you on Monday. Give me your number, and I’ll have the company secretary contact you” “Okay” What a situation. It would have been better to binge myself to death.

“Your name?” “What?” “What’s your name?” he asked you again, adding a raised eyebrow to his already rude tone of voice. “Y/n” “Nice to meet you, I’m Ricky and I work as a modeler for Valentino.” The handshake you shared was colder than the weather at the top of Mount Everest.

“You're late” “No one pays me to arrive early” “I'm paying you” “So you're paying me with money that I'll use to pay you back? Brilliant” “You’re giving me your time, honey. Don’t forget that” Not only were you dressed head to toe in clothes that cost more than you’d ever earned in your life, but you were wearing the highest, most uncomfortable heels you’d ever tried on.

Ricky led you to his desk, from which you could keep an eye on both his office - or creative lab, as he called it - and the main entrance. The little prince wanted to know everything that was happening nearby. A thud brought you back to reality. Ricky had just slammed a countless pile of folders and loose papers onto your desk.

“What should I do with them?” “They’re sketches, divide them by collection. You’ll find the collection written on the back, I don’t expect you to be able to recognize a common theme” Too bad I can’t spit in your face, idiot. You replied with a fake smile and watched him walk away. If only he didn't have this bad temper, he wouldn't even be so bad to look at. The work you had to do wasn't that boring after all. While you spent your time shuffling papers, you saw a considerable number of people coming and going: men and women who in turn were full of sketches, and fabrics and were sweating coldly at the mere thought of being late. This Ricky must be quite important. The only things you understood were that your boss was a huge asshole and that he worked relentlessly. At closing time, while everyone was leaving, the blond one still seemed intent on continuing to work for more hours. As the very responsible secretary you were, you couldn't allow your boss to reach a point of no return and so you set off to open the door that led to his office.

Another woman opened it quicker than you. You didn’t realize it and neither did Ricky. Panic took over your body because you had just broken the first rule: don’t let anyone in who isn’t on the list. That woman was not only not on the list, but she was the only one circled in red as “the only person who should never enter my office”

“Shen Quanrui, you poor bastard, answer my calls instead of pretending nothing happened!” the beautiful woman who stood in front of the blond shouted, visibly angry, and from behind you noticed that she had an incredible back. Oh, Ricky… Why do you have all these beautiful women around you?

The blond looked away from the woman who was yelling at him, whispering, “You idiot, why did you let her in?” You responded with a frown. “Ricky, why do you have a new secretary after firing me not even a week ago? “Because I needed one.” “Then why did you fire me and make me look incompetent?” Scream after scream, but seeing Ricky suffer from earaches because of another one made you particularly happy.

“I have no intention of marrying you, you know that, so, I don’t want to have any more contact with you” “I don’t give a shit Ricky, your father said you have to marry me and you will” “I’m not my father” “But your father is the head of this company and the one you owe everything you have now! You will lose everything if you don’t marry me and stop being a child” The woman looked at you and the other with contempt before slamming the door shut and yelling a “Fuck you!” in the hallway.

You started to look intently at Ricky who, overcome by despair, let himself fall with all his weight on his desk chair. “Why does it always have to end like this?” he ran a hand through his hair. “Do you need something to drink?” You asked worried. I even have the nerve to worry about someone who treated me like a doormat. “Actually yes, let's go have a drink Y/n” “Ah yes sure sure. You and me having a drink together. Nice joke" “I'll pay” “Okay, you win, prince of my boots”

“So you're the son of the big boss and I'm just a poor bitch you picked up at the last minute to save your ass after firing your very loyal, money-loving secretary who your father decided you should marry? Well, The Bold and the Beautiful is a cheap soap opera in comparison!” A stifled chuckle escaped the mouth of your, albeit unpleasant, attractive boss.

“All the women in my life have ended up the same way. They met me, maybe fell in love with me a few times, and then my father somehow convinced them to marry me.” “If your father came to me begging me to marry you for a few million euros, I’m sure I would make the same decision as your ex-secretary and the women your father somehow convinced to be part of your life.” Another giggle.

“You know Y/n, I’m not that much of an asshole” “You all say that. Yet you threatened me and forced me to work for you” “I was desperate, I should have explained everything to you right away” Maybe in his heart, Ricky was sorry for everything. Those eyes with which he looked at you showed much more than he had shown you in those few moments spent together.

“I watched you all night at my dad’s party and laughed out loud watching you twiddle food and glasses of wine in your hands. You were a real fish out of water” This time it was your mouth that let out a giggle. “It wasn’t really my place” “Apparently not. But it’s not my place either. I want to do fashion and as soon as I can I’ll leave my dad’s company and start my own” “You dream big, I’ve never been able to do that” “It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud” “It’s the alcohol, Ricky” “Or maybe it’s you, Y/n”

When the feeling of saying too much hit you both, Ricky was the first to move and asked for the bill, and you broke the eerie silence that had been created. “I’ll do this week and disappear from your life. No marriage and no second-class woman in your life. I’ll finish what I have to finish and I’ll pay you back. You’ll go back to your life” “It seems fair”

You walked out the pub's front door but didn’t even say goodbye. The cold hit your face and forced you to wake up from that dream you thought you were living. Who knows how Ricky must have felt every time a woman in his life showed she was more interested in his father’s money than in him? “Well, treat me well” “What?” “I won’t let you treat me like an idiot anymore. Change your ways. Don’t put up a barrier. Don’t worry, I’ll never say yes to your father” “Um…” “Then it seems to me that your father has only chosen great hotties to be your wife, I’m out of category”

Maybe the alcohol had gone to both of your heads, but you forgot about the terrible encounter you had two days before. "I like you" "Good to know" God, why did I become red?

Four days later you and Ricky still hadn't decided to exchange a word. You continued to work and so did he, just at a different pace. Being ignored was the worst feeling you could ever have in your life and you knew it. Your phone screen lit up: your best friend had just texted you asking to meet up. After asking Ricky’s permission to take your lunch break early, you went to a coffee shop near the facility where you worked to meet up with Wendy.

“My love! I haven’t heard from you and I thought the worst!” Wendy entered the venue with great enthusiasm and everyone turned to look at her. “I’ve been busy, now I’ll tell you everything” Wendy’s face, your best friend, changed several times during your story of the events that had happened in the last period; you told her how everything had started because of that party and how you had ended up working for an unpleasant blond who had turned out to be a misunderstood softie.

“Shen Quanrui? Wait, I’ve heard that name before” “He introduced himself to me as Ricky and then this girl came screaming and calling him Shen Quanrui, I told you.” “Oh my God” “What?” “That Shen Quanrui”

You looked into each other’s eyes for a few seconds before screaming “Ahhh” together. The only difference was that you screamed in terror. “That Shen Quanrui who studied fashion and design…” Wendy went to take the orders at the counter and sat back down. “Let’s recap,” Wendy took a breath; “the famous Ricky from Valentino is that Shen Quanrui who you fell in love with during college when the three of us did that school project. Except that his father got in the way when he saw us going out together and then offered you, a woman in love, some money to get you away from his son and you didn't accept, convinced that you wanted to declare yourself the next day" “Yes, then what went wrong? I never accepted that money!” Even though the cafeteria was full of people, the silence between you and Wendy became more and more insistent.

“Wendy?” “I accepted that money. And I also took a job at Dolce & Gabbana. I didn’t- I didn’t think it would go this way. Then, well, Ricky disappeared, I think he went to America” “He disappeared because you accepted the money instead of talking to him! You sold your, no, our friendship for something worth much less” “I’m sorry. You know I would never do that now”

Anger coursed through your body. But it didn’t seem right to scold your friend for something she had done in the past. It had already happened. You knew full well that now she would never have the courage to do it again.

“I need to talk to him, but he continues to ignore me” “I could help you” “What are you going to do, Wendy?” Maybe she had too much courage.

It was Sunday, the final day. Wendy was ready to put her plan into action, by hook or by crook. "Good morning, Ricky" "Um" As cold as ever. You heard footsteps in the hallway. It’s time. The door to your office opened, revealing your best friend on the other side in a black suit that hugged her body beautifully. “Did you make it?” “The janitor seems to have a thing for me” Wendy showed you the key and smiled widely, telling you that she would give you an hour and no more. You nodded your head and thanked her. Now it was your turn.

“Ricky, how much longer do you have?” “Five minutes” You opened the door to his lab and looked out. “Do you want to have a drink?” “I don’t like the drunk version of me” Oh, I think so.

You looked at him better one more time. When you were in college he had black hair and a thinner face, and he was definitely less athletic. Now he was tall, blond and he looked at you with those two black puddles of his as if he wanted to bite your heart out.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” “What?” “That it was you”

Ricky seemed to understand and tried to leave the room. “Don’t try that” “Y/n”

Ricky read your desire to clarify in your gaze and with a huff he leaned on the table where he kept all his sketches scattered. “Tell me what you have to tell me, Y/n” “It took me a while but I remembered” Ricky let out a nervous laugh. “And now that you understand, what do you want me to do with this information?”

The no longer handsome black-haired boy who bewitched you at university walked towards the exit door that connected your office and his study to the corridor but soon realized that it was blocked. "Give me an hour, please" "As you wish"

Sitting on the floor, between a pout and a snort from Ricky and tense looks from you, you told your boss for a week how the situation had evolved over the years until your fateful meeting. The boy didn't miss any opportunity to remind you that having a best friend who couldn't use her head hadn't helped your life.

"How much longer?" "Fifteen minutes… Sorry" "That idiot Wendy should be the one to apologize"

Even though you had spent the last thirty minutes finding one way or another to justify your actions of the last few years, in Ricky's eyes you didn't see the understanding you wanted to see; there was an even higher barrier separating you.

"You haven't forgiven me?" you asked, trying to look him in the eyes. "What should I forgive you for? If you forgot me it means you wanted to and if you didn’t realize who I was despite my hair color then I didn’t mean much to you. I may have just been a college crush for you, but you meant, you still mean a lot to me” Was he wrong? No. You had changed, he had changed, but Ricky’s feelings had remained the same for all these years and you had been shaken by a life that had never given you love.

“I… I don’t feel the same. I don’t even know if I’m capable of feeling the same for you, Ricky” “It’s not a tragedy, forget about me like you’ve done until now and everything will be fine” A click on the door lock made you both turn towards the bell: the hour had just ended.

Ricky was the first to get up and head towards the door. He waved to Wendy, who was lurking around the corner and turned to you one last time. “You’re fired.” You picked up your pace, passed Wendy, and, a meter away from the blond, you answered him without fear. “I’ll come back to show you that I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ve never forgotten about you. I may be different, but what was between you and me hasn’t even had time to blossom.” You couldn’t see Ricky’s expression after that last exchange. This was the last time you saw him. And then a year passed.

Life for you went on, for once since your parents had brought you into the world, in a whole new way: you dared to continue your studies in graphic design, now you went to the gym regularly and, even though you still found it boring, you went to high fashion parties with Wendy. What hadn't changed was how you felt about Ricky. You realized only after losing him that what you had felt while being with him for a week had brought out everything you had kept locked away in the drawer of your heart. Everywhere you saw a man as tall as him and with black hair your eyes lit up, only to turn off seconds after you realized they weren't Ricky.

It was during Wendy's birthday party that you heard two of her colleagues talking about the man you had been looking for incessantly for the past year “Shen Quanrui, how funny. I always called him Ricky and he always looked at me badly every time I did it” “Absurd, now he has opened his modeling agency and is looking for models for his first collection” “Oh I can't wait to go. When he worked for his father he made wonderful clothes” In a panic you threw yourself at the two girls who backed away in fear. “Where? When?” “Um… Tomorrow, at four in the afternoon in this area here” the young model handed you a flyer that oozed luxury from every pore. Your next move was decided and you weren't afraid to make it.

So you convinced yourself, but when the next afternoon you found yourself in the middle of all those very tall and beautiful models you almost felt sick. The girls who went first came back sweaty and agitated and shouted out loud that there was a stage outside and about fifty people ready to mock them. What wonderful news.

“Y/n, it’s your turn!” Holy shit. Anxiously, you asked the closest girl for some water and then walked towards the stage, with several giggles accompanying you. The light that blinded you did not allow you to see who and what was in front of you. Only when they threw the light lower, did a lump form in your throat.

Ricky was in front of you, his eyes wide in surprise and his hair black. An insignificant detail for anyone else in the room but not for you. You tried to get the lump in your throat down immediately, but someone with a rougher approach than yours took half the time. “Is she going to introduce herself or do we have to see her battered body?” “Give her time,” Ricky spoke.

It was enough to look into the raven-haired man's eyes to make the lump return to your throat. But that wasn’t what stopped you. The teary eyes were another obvious sign of uncertainty, but you bravely took air into your lungs and raised your voice as high as you could.

“I’m sure I love you. There is no longer anything that can make me say otherwise. I think I love.” The faces of everyone in the room took on various expressions and some began to whisper in the ears of their neighbors. You continued without fear this time.

“I love you, Shen Quanrui. I understood it when I hoped that every stupid middle-aged man had your face, I understood it when I went to see a stupid Monet exhibition hoping that you would whisper in my ear one more time and I understood it when…” Ricky was looking at you impassively.

“I understood it when you ran away to America the first time and I understood it when I was the one who left you the second time.” You were interrupted by a man in his sixties who angrily shouted at the guards to take you away.

“Stop everyone” And so it was. Ricky stood up and with that annoying but charming little smile, he pronounced his final sentence. “I found my muse. We’re done for today, sent all the girls home” Slowly and dazed by what had happened, the men and women inside the theater left. You and Ricky looked into each other’s eyes, alone in your intimacy. “I see that you haven’t changed, you’re always ready to make one disaster after another” “I see that you have changed, maybe that means that?”

“It means that I still love you Y/n. I’ve been waiting for you all this time” He held you in his arms and kissed you for the first time, knowing in his heart that it wouldn’t be the last. A thought crept into your mind. “Oh my god, what we do with your father?” “Y/n I have my own company and we are not Romeo and Juliet, there is no need to make a drama out of it” “Oh, so you are not my Romeo?” Ricky kissed you once more and you felt his smile grow bigger and bigger. He leaned in close to your ear and whispered seven sweet words to you. “I'll be everything you want, forever

[starberry-cupcake]

Here I am again, hoping this silly recap brightens your day a little bit, I'm giving you a gentle hug and a mug of your favorite warm beverage ☕

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

I somehow predicted @lady-harrowhark's tshirt in the one before that also, it was very funny, in case you missed it

CHAPTER 48

we're doing just one chapter again because this one was Eventful, fam

last we knew, abby pent was trying to lorraine warren the ghost out of harrowcita's bubble

my running theory was that the ghost was commander wake aka allegedly gideon's mom (none of that is in any way confirmed yet)

and ortus was about to say something

I said it might be poetry and, guess what?

I WAS RIGHT

you go, ortus, you recite that poetry

abby apparently takes that as a cue to do something and thinks ortus has too much faith in her

but ortus trusts her, there's a lot of polycule moments in this one

the sleeper/waker/slasher allegedly gideon's mom unconfirmed absolutely does not give a fuck about any of this, she's slaying them all with her "baggy orange suit and gun collection"

I need the suit to look like this so bad

harrow starts making constructs but killer bae starts turning them into ash in seconds

I mean, I know we need harrow to live and this woman is not supporting that idea but damn, she looks cool af

if you fought the emperor at any given point, amanda (I'm calling her amanda for now, I'll elaborate later) how did you lose?????

ortus is harmed, so harrow has to continue with the recitation in his place

so harrow continues to recite the nonius poetry, while abby chants in the background and everyone else waits while bleeding

it's a very involved artistic performance that we've got going on over here in canaan au river bubble

sleeper/waker/slasher/alleged commander wake alleged gideon's mom aka amanda (according to me) shoots harrowcita

but then abby is lifted in blue flames and seems to be holding an invisible book and everything gets all vib-ey

these are the exact vibes I'm picturing

(not because I have a print of that in my room)

so harrowcita is saved from getting shot in the head by a man with the Ninth uniform and a very stellar use of the blade

AND YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHO IT IS

IT'S ORTUS'S BLORBO FROM HIS SHOWS!!!!!!!!

matthias nonius is a short king who is surprised to be speaking in meter but is very happy to be here to defend the Reverend Daughter and fight like an expert killing machine

WHERE WAS ALL THIS FIGHTING POWER WHEN IT CAME TO KILLING THE EMPEROR

but not only is matthias nonius 10/10 at fighting (as advertised), the shrine ortus has in his head for him is helping to even the playing field with the waker/sleeper/alleged commander

she can't shoot anymore

"I killed wizard's filth like you all my life. I killed them with guns, and bombs, and knives, and gas, and when I didn't have any of those I just got in real close and put my thumbs through their fucking eyes. You can flick that little skewer around all you like, boy. I'll choke you with it"

SHE'S INTENSE, we can be certain that the Harrow Only Notes were hers

"I certainly hope you're a fighter. God knows you're not a debater"

you guys I'm a certified mati nonius fan right now

ortus is drawing little hearts in his poetry book and writing Ortus Nonius in it

"If all of her cavaliers were this excited for death, she was definitely the problem"

they just love you too much, harrowcita

so mati nonius and waker/sleeper/alleged commander have the most intense and entertaining fight ever

because lyctor fights are weak and boring

but this, this is cinema

harrow thinks that, if gideon had been there, she would have loved the fight but also she'd be terrible at running commentary of it

I disagree, gideon's running commentary is one of the things that keep us together as a society

"In life she must have had few, if any, equals. Her people—whoever they had been—must have cherished her as their finest champion."

gideon got some great fighting genes from all around, if my theories prove right

I mean, if her people are the people I'm thinking, they still have posters of her, so she must have been a big deal before she crashed in the ninth

SAD SHE DIDN'T KILL DR REVEREND EMPEROR JOHN THOUGH

BUT THERE'S STILL TIME FOR THAT

LIKE AN HOUR

harrow says mati nonius is "a poem" which is very nice of her to say

you go, short king

there's a lot of blood happening, also, which could be encouraging, since before this, the waker/sleeper/alleged commander wasn't bleeding at all

the room changes to become a ninth chamber and alleged commander changes clothes from the star trek orange suit to a different yet still orange getup and a golden mask

ortus's shrine in his head built for mati nonius is rewriting the possession

because nothing can pull you from the depths of despair as fast as your favorite blorbo

"My master in life was revenge, my mission is one of—Goddamn it, I'm not going to start talking like this"

more points for the gideon's mom theory

protozoa and ortus are now communicating telepathically, they are starting to put aside their rivalry and finding out they have a lot in common

enemies to friends to lovers speedrun

mati nonius loses his sword and goes feral

protozoa throws his cunty seventh rapier towards him, mati nonius catches it and ends the waker/sleeper/alleged commander

it all looked incredibly cool

once the enemy is partially defeated (let's remember she's supposedly tethered to an object that I think is gideon's sword), the body horror starts falling from the walls

it's described as "sausages flung from a height" which is...quite the thing

like, I get what that sounds like, but also, maybe I didn't wanna know

harrow looks at the face of the waker/sleeper/alleged commander and says it's the woman from the poster of the shuttle

YASSSS GETTING CLOSER TO MY THEORY

like, I still don't know if the woman from the poster is commander wake or if she is indeed gideon's mom, but I'm going all in on this theory

now we have a little intermission in which everyone is waxing poetic about everyone else

this is the canaan house we always wanted to see

protozoa is giving heart eyes to mati nonius, mati is giving respects to harrow, ortus is saying he wants to write a poem about abby, magnus is telling ortus not to flirt with his wife as a joke but ortus looks mortified

and abby says ortus did most of the job but she also points out she corrected some of his spelling

which might have been the biggest mistake in magnus's and abby's lives because they just destroyed their polycule

you can't treat the ninth like that, fifth, they take it personally

but ortus is vindicated because his oshi, his favorite blorbo, his biggest hero, tells him nice things

harrowcita goes to check on the ghost corpse of the waker/sleeper/alleged commander and finds some tags

one of which says AWAKE

I THINK THAT'S MAYBE A. WAKE

AS IN COMMANDER WAKE

and I'm naming her amanda, as previously established

it would go well with the ancient tumblr meme

the prophecy

sure hope this isn't the famous alecto everyone keeps mentioning because it'd ruin my prophecy

abby tells harrow the only way to get rid of her for good is to destroy the object to which she's tethered to

which I suspect might be gideon's sword, so fuck all this

we're meant to lose gideon and her sword??? absolutely not

let the woman kill the emperor instead

ALSO

surprise! mati nonius is besties with gideon the first

now, for someone who was sold out to be super serious and not an extrovert, gideon the first knows EVERYONE

he knows mati nonius, he probably also knows, to some degree of intimacy yet undetermined, the commander, he might be somewhat related to our gideon

the man is everywhere

basically, mati nonius and gideon the first had the same speedrun friendship that gideon had with camilla

they fought each other once and one of them thought "you're friend-shaped :) "

so, mati nonius is willing to go help gideon the first with the beast

because, as we have previously seen, no other lyctor is currently doing what they were supposed to

so, ortus says he'll go with mati to help gideon the first

abby and magnus want him to go with them to be forever happy in their polycule, but it's too late

abby has insulted his spelling and magnus has made him feel uncomfy with his joke about the flirting

HOWEVER protozoa has told him he actually likes him AND has quoted poetry HE WROTE HIMSELF

enemies to friends to lovers to soulmates

martita, who was there the whole time, ties her sword to her broken hand and says she'll go with them

martita is actually cool for a second house person

judith, you didn't deserve her

NOW THERE'S A PROBLEM

A BIG ONE

if harrow doesn't go back to her body, she'll get lost and lose her mind in the river

if she does, though, she's gonna kill gideon for good

harrowcita has a crisis and a breakdown

(and also stops for just a second to remember gideon rolling up her sleeves)

magnus compares the situation to a breakup he had with abby one time, which I don't think really encompasses the gravity of this situation, but ok magnus, it sure is similar

I mean, the breaking up part maybe but the level of gravity of the situation? idk man

I'm sure breaking up with abby felt this dramatic to you but...it's a little different

abby and magnus leave, telling harrowcita that jeanne said to tell gideon "hi" if harrow sees her first

which is super cute of the kid tbh

so, that leaves us with real!dulcinea

who is still here because

1) much like her lyctor counterpart, is very resistant to dying for good

2) she's determined to get vanished into nothingness and disappear into the very essence of existence, which I think sounds pretty cool

"The Seventh says nothingness is the only truly beautiful thing anyway, so nyah"

3) also: "Actually, I've got something to tell you"

I SURE HOPE IT IS A WAY TO SAVE BOTH GIDEON'S AND HARROW'S LIVES

FINGERS CROSSED

and that's it for this chapter!!!! next time, I'm expecting more gideon and yandere twin antics!!!

[luvsturniolo]

I have this cute idea for Chris. Maybe yall have been friends for a long time and he really wants something more but his commitment issues are getting in the way because he’s been hurt before but then say something bad happens and his brothers are out and can’t help and he calls you and needs you and you come right away even faster than he expected and he’s like you came so fast? And you’re like yeah, you called? and he just realizes in that moment you’re not whose hurt him in the past and he kisses you

ー ★ !! commitment

pairing : chris x fem!reader

synopsis : explained in the req :)

a/n : this idea is so cute but also so sad ?? i’m hoping to channel both of those emotions into this fic

wc : 2.5k

you’ve been friends with the triplets for as long as you can remember. especially with chris. you’d never admit it, but something about him drew you in — yearning for more.

nothing about your love for chris was lustful or anything vulgar like that. you genuinely admired and respected him as your best friend.

he was always a shoulder to cry on. he always found a way to make you laugh when he could tell you were upset. he always brightened your mood even when you weren’t feeling great. and you tried to provide that same systematic support for him. you made an effort to let him know you would be there for him no matter what.

to everyone else, the two of you were inseparable. you grew up together and nobody could get between your guys’ little duo.

but recently, he hasn’t been acting himself.

you know chris well enough to tell when an issue that’s bothering him and there’s definitely something going on. you can tell that he’s conflicted about it and the topic is serious. but you’ve got no idea what it could be.

he’s been trying to hide it, but you know that’s only hurting him more.

not to mention, he never hides anything from you. he’s never kept secrets or refused to open up. despite your efforts to try and make him explain, he won’t. and since you don’t want to pry, you dropped the topic.

it’s been a two weeks since his demeanor randomly changed. and you’ve tried to ignore the behavior, but your mind just won’t stop coming back to that same topic.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

meanwhile, chris is going through quite the crisis. you're his best friend. like, dude, you're literally his favorite person to be around. in the whole world.

but recently, he's been having too much time alone with this thoughts. this thinking time has caused him to overthink your guys' relationship as a whole. every time he thinks about you, his heart feels heavier and his stomach twirls.

the thing is, he's felt like this ever since you guys first became friends when you were kids, so he didn't think it was weird. he thought it was a normal effect that you had on people.

but when chris casually mentioned this feeling to matt, he acted like it was the craziest thing he'd ever heard.

"bro no way." matt said two weeks ago — which was when chris leisurely explained the effect you have on him. "that's not fucking normal. you need to google that because i'm pretty sure you have a crush or something."

at first, chris thought nothing of matt's advice. he assumed he was just being a weirdo ( like usual ). but the more he thought about it, the more chris realized that his brother might not be a total idiot.

after all, matt is the mental health expert of the family. who would chris be to dismiss his diagnosis?

as time went on, chris got more and more obsessed with this idea. not because he's happy about it. but because there's no fucking way he like likes you. you're his best friend. that's it. his friend. you always have been and you always will be. your guys' relationship can't change just because of some silly feelings he's not even sure he has.

but it's been two weeks and chris still can't seem to rest his mind.

he knows you're worried about him, but he can't open up to you about his possible crush. this is the only topic in the whole world he isn't comfortable sharing with you.

"so what you're saying is you're in love with her!?" nick exclaimed loudly over the phone, making chris jump at his loud voice. "like her!? your best friend of thirteen years! that one!?"

"yes!" chris yelled back into the tiny speakers of his phone. "can you quit fucking screaming now!? you're gonna make my damn ears bleed!"

"sorry that i'm taken aback by the fact that you're in love with your best friend!" nick apologized, his voice equally as loud as it was the first time he yelled.

chris sighed, flopping back on his mattress. he set his phone on the pillow beside him and stared up at the ceiling above. his eyes traced the bumps under the white paint of his roof.

nick and matt are currently in the van, driving to pick up an order of mcdonalds for dinner. chris didn't feel like going, but he always feels a bit empty without his brothers. so he decided to call them. the topic of their call moved from chris giving nick his order to chris explaining his emotions to nick simply because it's the only thing he could think about.

"did you know!?" nice shouts at matt — who's more focused on driving to their restaurant than on chris's relationship crisis. "i feel like you knew! did you know!?"

"shut the fuck up, nick!" matt says back, keeping his eyes on the road. "you know i get stressed driving at night. plus it's raining. i don't need your fuckin' yapping to distract me!"

nick groans, but apologizes anyway before leaning back in his seat and staring at his phone. he quickly notices that chris's camera is now pointed up at the ceiling rather than at his face.

"what're you doing, kid?" nick asks chris.

chris averts his attention away from his dotted ceiling and picks up his phone, holding it above his face to look at nick. "i was thinking-"

"that's never a good sign." nick jokes.

"can i fucking speak?" chris asks, clearly annoyed. nick takes the hint and shuts up, making a lock motion across his mouth to depict his silence. chris rolls his eyes before continuing, "as i was saying, i think i found out why i'm so distraught by the fact that i might like her."

"yeah, no shit." nick replies. "anyone would be freaked out at the thought of being in love with their best friend."

"not funny."

"i'm not trying to be funny." nick says, genuinely. "i'm being serious. you shouldn't feel the need to search for a reason behind your emotions, chris. if you like her, you like her. there's no point in hiding it because you know damn well she'll figure it out anyway. y'all are shit at keeping secrets from each other."

"that's true." matt chimes in from the driver's seat. nick moves the phone forward and holds it by matt's face so chris can hear him better. "she already knows there's something up with you. it's only a matter of time before she finds out what is causing you to act so strangely."

"i guess you have a point." chris agrees. "but what about after i confess and everything?"

"what about it?" nick asks. "after you confess, you'll most likely be dating. which means any issue you guys face will be one for the two of you to figure out together."

"dude, i can't date her!"

nick groans loudly, his voice nearly sounding more like a screech than a noise of complaint. matt yells at him again to shut up and nick apologizes before returning his attention back to chris.

"why the fuck not?" nick asks. "if you guys both end up liking each other, there's no reason not to date."

"yeah there is." chris says, placing his phone on his pillow again to look up at the ceiling that he's grown so fond of. the blank white color is comforting in a sense. it's something consistent that won't change or leave him unless he choses for it to do so. sometimes he wishes emotions and people were more like that. consistent.

"then explain, you dumb shit." nick urges.

"you know how my past relationships went." chris says. "none of them were healthy and i got hurt in the end of every single one. why would i willingly put myself back in that situation? i don't want to form a hatred against y/n."

nick pauses and thinks for a moment, trying to articulate what he wants to say next. but his mind is blank. how the hell is he supposed to comfort chris like this? nick hasn't been in this position.

suddenly, matt reaches behind the seat and snatches nick's phone out of his grip. matt holds it in his left hand, still driving with his right. he keeps his eyes on the road but his attention on chris.

"you guys have been friends for over a fucking decade, christopher. there's no way some silly feelings are gonna end that for you." matt says. "i've watched you guys interact for years — not in a creepy way — and trust me when i say that the feeling is mutual. i'm not gonna speak on her behalf because that's shitty. but there's nothing to worry about when it comes to her. you should know that better than anyone."

"but what is you're wrong?"

"if i'm wrong then you can punch me in the face and i'll give you a million bucks." matt says. "but more importantly, if she ends up rejecting you, i'm 100% sure that you guys will talk it out and find a way to move on past this. and even if she doesn't like you back, confessing your feelings will never be something you'll regret."

chris continues to stare at the ceiling.

the consistency of the patter slowly becomes something abstract and without any pattern. chris tilts his head back, thinking he's going crazy. because why is his ceiling changing?

but he quickly realizes that he's not going crazy. he's simply been overlooking the details of the paint for so long that everything he liked about it is becoming raw and real rather than a vision in his head that he wanted to perceive.

maybe that's what's going on with you. he's been friends with you for so long that he's finally noticing all the little details he overlooked. you're not just his best friend he wanted to see you as. you're someone who has always been by his side and someone he wants to live the rest of his life with.

"k, thanks." chris says quickly as he picks up his phone. "bye."

he hears nick and matt protest against him hanging up, but it's too late. he's already pressed the little red x in the corner. he swipes out of nick's contact and scrolls to find yours. when he sees your name, his stomach twists. despite the butterflies in his gut, chris presses the call icon and puts the phone to his ear.

you pick up on the second ring, "what's up?"

"can you come over?" chris asks, feeling his entire body go stiff at the thought of admitting his feelings to you. but he knows this is something he has to do.

"right now? it's nearly midnight, and it's raining." you point out. "is something wrong?"

chris sighs, "no you're right, never mind. i'll tell you some other time, it's not important anyway."

"too bad." you reply with a laugh. "i'll be there in five."

you guys say goodbye before you hang up and chris feels his heart sink to his ass. he runs through everything he plans to say to you, but nothing sounds as sincere as he wants it to. before long, he hears a knock on the front door and his heart sinks even lower — if that's even possible.

he exits his room and wanders down the hall, wanting to take his sweet time just so he doesn't have to face the truth.

when he opens the door and sees you drenched in rain water on their porch, he feels bad for purposely taking longer than necessary to open the door.

you smile at him before taking off your coat and hanging it on the rack you always hang it on. you come over so much that it's nearly second nature to be here. when you guys were kids, you lived at the triplets house more than your own.

"hi chris!" you say, pulling him into a hug solely for the purpose of getting him wet with your dripping hair and damp shirt.

the thing is, you hugged him as a joke because you guys always try to annoy the other. but the moment your arms wrapped around his neck, chris felt his cheeks heat up and his heart speed.

"hey!" chris said as he pushed you off of him like he normally would, hoping you don't think anything of it.

you smile at him, "why'd you call me over here? also, where are nick and matt? i didn't see the van in the driveway."

"you came so quickly." chris said, trying to avoid the topic of why he called you here.

"yeah?" you reply, curiously. "you called."

something about those words settle into his mind and ease his nerves. you're not like the girls he dated before — and he doesn't mean that in a 'you're not like most girls' way. but you're genuinely different. the way you treat him is so much more authentic than how they treated him.

when chris looks at you, he's not looking at the girl he has a crush on. he's also not looking at the friend he grew up with. you're just you.

you're the woman he wants to marry. the woman he wants to buy a house and start a life with. the woman he wants to have pets and kids with. the woman he wants to grow old with and ask to buy him more vitamins so he doesn't get constipated.

"i just wanted to talk to you about something." chris said, his voice quiet so maybe what he's saying won't be real. maybe it'll just fade into the thick air between you and you won't even ask about it.

"about what?" you ask. and there goes chris's idea of whispering.

he sucks in a breath before starting, "i've been thinking and i think the feelings i have for you aren't just in a friendly way. well, not like sexually or anything like that. that's fuckin' weird. i just like genuinely like being around you. i want to fall in love with you- well, more than i already am. also, i really and i mean really don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable. like if you don't feel the same, don't be afraid to tell me. you can say you don't like me. don't feel obligated to agree to be with me if you're not comfy. i'm not gonna be that one weirdo guy who forces you into a relationship. like, i really like you. you're so pretty, funny, sarcastic, and just my favorite person to be around. but like i said, if you don't like me-"

as much as you find his rambling adorable, you cut him off by pressing your lips to his. he's surprised, but ultimately returns the kiss and grabs your waist to pull you closer.

you smile against his lips before muttering, "i like you too."

he grins like a happy toddle before scooping you up and engulfing you into a huge bear hug. you shriek, telling him to put you down. but he doesn't. he just hold you and peppers kisses across your skin — your face, your shoulders, your neck, your arms, wherever.

he's just happy to have you by his side, knowing he's never gonna let you go. he's yours and you're his.

tags : @kasqnxx @lvrsparadise @prettysturniolo @strniolo @urmyslxt @cupidsturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @thetriplets3 @sturn1olo-ffics @uhnanix @deadxrx @kitaysworld @slaysturniolo @wilmalovegood @ladylokilaufeyson5

[bharv]

On defined vs customisable protagonists

Taking a break from DATV for some musings on this. This isn't really an essay, just a ramble, and I'm trying to steer clear of spoilers and heavy critical stuff.

I'll discuss the Dragon Age franchise, the Mass Effect franchise, and Baldur's Gate 3, Pillars of Eternity and Cyberpunk 2077.

Basically, I want to talk a little about ways in which a game's set up can help and hinder us in understanding our protagonist, the pros and cons of voiced protags, and what works in my eyes and what doesn't. I hope this also helps people to think about how they draw characters as well!

Firstly I want to say that people will have different reasons to prefer a more defined protagonist or a more open one. Ultimately it comes down to expectations from roleplay in my eyes. There's not a right or wrong answer in which is "better" but I think there are things that help us to engage with both types.

Establishing what we know (and being consistent with it)

Essential to both types in my eyes is establishing what is known. I'm going to use Commander Shepard as my first example here. We are told instantly that Shepard is an experienced officer, has an expertise in one area, and is being considered for a significant promotion. This allows us to infer that they get the job done, and that they have to have a degree of competency (whether or not they are by the book or more loose with the rules) and that they take their job seriously. The game then gives us some good flavour choices around family values, historical trauma, what they look like and what kind of expert they are, but make no mistake; this is a veteran soldier and you are on that road with them. It's a masterpiece in creating just enough freedom for ownership of a character while telling a very distinct story; if you are paying attention at the start, you know exactly what kind of person Shep has to have been to be considered for this role, which makes for a really clear path through.

Hawke in DA2, which was almost certainly designed to mirror the success of Shepard, follows a similar path. We know that Hawke is a refugee, and has a family, and fought in a recent battle. I would argue where Hawke is weaker to people who enjoy customisation is in setting them against their family; your Shepard could be a wunderkind or be eighty years old, have any number of emotional resonances in their personal life. Hawke is much more definite in age range, relationships and social status, which gives less freedom in making them truly your own. However, DA2 is highly consistent with Hawke. Perhaps you can only really customise the face and the attitude, but that attitude ripples through all of your interactions and creates a very distinct character that is easy to become attached to.

Dragon Age Origins does a very different thing by threading through the origins into inferences throughout the story. The knowns are that you will be the Warden and you will have to save the world. How you get there offers enormous choice. You can be a self-serving politician trying to weasel your way back into power, or you can be a devout Andrastrian on a path to martyrdom. A lot of this choice comes from the choice that is allowed with a non-voiced protagonist in sheer range of responses, a pathway that games like BG3 and Pillars of Eternity have continued.

It is essential you are clear with your player early in what is known about the character, both to help them establish them in a world and avoid disappointing their expectations. If your character is a rookie, say it! If they are an expert, make it clear. You can do this through action too - it doesn't have to all be written out.

To voice or not to voice

To me, personally, Shepard is one of the only truly successful voiced customisable protagonists. I have others I like very much (V in Cyberpunk 2077 and Hawke in DA2) but they are much more a slightly editable character on a defined narrative journey. The moment you put a voice on a character you are deciding tone, meaning and intention, and if your written choice doesn't accurately reflect your tone, it breaks immersion. Shepard walks a careful line that is aided by them being "on the job" for much of the time. Formality helps! It creates boundaries that we instinctively understand from our world.

If you have a voiced protagonist, then you have to either record a ton of lines allowing for anger, diplomacy, fun, inquisition and dismissal, and if you don't do that? You probably should have just set up a more defined character and told their story, and been clear in that expectation from your establishing moments.

Oh, Lore

One thing I really liked in BG3 is the way you could toggle on and off lore friendly options during character creation. It gave you the chance to say actually no, I don't care, or make sure you were creating within that world if you did. But regardless, if you have established lore, you have to carry it through. If you have a ton of backgrounds for characters, you have to make sure that's meaningful. A Grey Warden should be able to sense Darkspawn in their first encounter; it's a huge part of their deal. A Qunari character, if you have not specified that they are Tal-Vashoth and strictly from one background, should be able to reflect positively on their religion and cultural upbringing or see things through a non-Andrastrian lens. This is where it can be easier, even if it is disappointing, to set stronger boundaries in the creation of characters. For the most part, people are okay with limitations if it gives them something to work with. In Inquisition there were complaints about how much or little the backgrounds really added to the experience of being the Herald of Andraste, but they did choose backgrounds where there might be a rough knowledge of what was occuring at the conclave. It's okay to leave some things for people to fill in the gaps, but consistency is key.

Learning as the character learns

One clever way to establish connection but allow for discovery is for the characters to learn as we do. The Dark Urge in BG3 is an obvious example of this, but I'd also add in The Watcher in Pillars of Eternity too, and even V from CP77. Whatever they thought they are, they are something more, and it allows us to keep all of what we thought we knew about our characters and find out more along the way. It allows the game to take us down a path of the present, not the past (even though all of them ARE discovering events of the past!) by making it about what a person sees themself as, what they want to be, and what they have been. It sidesteps invalidation of ideas by creating narratives that are inherently biased as they are memory, allowing us to take or question the information we are given as we are given it. It trusts an audience and the player to invest their own opinions in the burgeoning narrative.

To do this, you need to make sure that the player has a good grasp, again, of what they do know. Good grounding is essential here. Think of the prologue of Pillars of Eternity, where we can establish a character's whole value system, or the pre-heist time with V which allows us to establish an enormous amount of relationship building and relationship to the world around them. Take that time, or it will fall apart.