#i'm curious to hear other people's opinions on this

[gothbard]

so i've been seeing people talk about the release structure for echoes and calling it time-gating or a content drought, and while i get why they might not like it, i disagree.

the old system was to have 8 weeks of story, then about 2 months of more-or-less downtime, a holiday event somewhere in there, and then sometimes one last mission to wrap up the season.

now they have 3 weeks of story for act one, 3 weeks off, and presumably the same for acts 2 and 3 followed by the big mission to end it.

at least to me the new 3 act structure with intermissions is a nice change. it feels more evenly spread out instead of frontloading the season. and, like the change from the whole story being available day 1 to weekly missions, it means people are less likely to get spoiled if they aren't constantly on top of it while also giving people time to ruminate and discuss what's happened so far

it also seems like the downtime and overall increased timeframe of the new episodes will help at least some when it comes to both fomo and burnout

(personally i'm fond of thinking of the breaks as intermissions as the multiple acts with time between them reminds me of the theatre and these seem to serve a similar enough purpose)

[sorrinslays]

Hot take or whatever but HSR would benefit a lot from announcing more 4*s instead of 5*s. I'm not joking, at this point, we have more 5*s than 4*s. 27/49 characters are 5*s, and we'll be getting 4 more in the next few updates, so that means that 58% of the characters are five stars.

There are characters that don't even need to be 5*s. Some examples are Silver Wolf, Clara, Gepard, Sparkle, Luocha, Bailu, Yanqing, Huohuo, Fu Xuan, Yunli and Jiaoqiu (last two are upcoming characters). And I'm not saying that because I don't like them or their gameplay or something. I'm saying that because they weren't present in the story almost at all. Sure, they are interesting but it doesn't change their inactivity in the story. What's the point of making an almost painfully irrelevant character a 5*?

I could make a post just about why certain characters don't work for me as 5* and how they could've worked better as 4*s lore-wise. Instead, it's better if we look at the 4*/5* ratio of each path.

While most of them are balanced (as of writing this post), looking at the upcoming characters tell us that it's not gonna be like that for long.

Right now, the Destruction has a 50/50 ratio (if you don't count the protagonist). However, in 2.3 and 2.4 we'll be getting two new 5* units (Firefly and Yunli). So that changes the percentage to 60% (again, not including the Trailblazer).

The Hunt is probably is probably one of the worst in this regard alongside the Preservation. 71% of the units are 5*s, with only two 4*s. And it's not even characters that people use all that much (Dan Heng and Sushang)!

The Erudition is fine, it's a 50/50 as of right now too. Next update Jade is going to be added but it's whatever, not all that bad.

Same goes for the Harmony too, it's a 50/50. There aren't any 5*s promised anytime soon but I wouldn't be surprised to see Sunday being announced as Harmony or something.

Nihility is almost similar, there are nine characters and 4 of them are 4*s, so 55% of the characters are 5*s. Soon it's gonna be 60% with Jiaoqiu coming in 2.4.

The Preservation has only one 4* unit for Qlipoth's sake! 85% of the units are 5*s and I bet you the only reason March is a preservation unit is because they couldn't think of anyone else to be the 4* preservation character and since March will definitely be getting a 5* version they just plopped her in preservation (Arlan would've fitted better but I digress).

Once again, the Abudance is balanced, with three 4*s and three 5*s with no upcoming healers any time soon.

So, then, if most of the paths are somewhat balanced. if not for the few exceptions, what's the big deal, right?

Well, this is more of my own opinion but. I think 5*s should feel more special. The ratio of 5*s/4*s should be in favor for the 4*s as a way of saying "yeah, there's a reason this character is a 5* compared to others!" instead of pumping out 5* characters every update for people to spend more money with the only selling point being "they are better than the standard 5*s/the previous unit and they are attractive".

[doki-doki-imagines]

Ok I'm super curious now, why do you think Kamui would prefer the short nurse outfit over the other ones 👀?

I love when you read my tags💕 Ok, let me explain:

I think most Gintama guys would be more than fine with their partner being simply naked, they really don't need anything else to get them going lol.

Kamui case is different than Gintoki one, Gin find arousing the idea of his partner role-playing and sucking the sickness out of him, Kamui isn't in the role-play stuff.

Kamui loves the thought of his partner tending his wounds and the ones of his army. You must have a strong mind to be able to take care of all these guys with more or less fatal wounds and the idea turn him on so much.

His partner ordering people around, concentrated expression, but with a tiny tiny pastel pink skirt that always hikes up higher and the blouse that really can't contain your chest; he just wanna fold you in half.

The thought of having his strong minded partner all cute getting fucked dumb by him really makes him mind wander in dangerous places.

It's more a power-imbalance/mind-fucking thing for him. The other dresses are really cute too but won't make his mind imagine as much.

ask refers to this post

[greygilberti]

My main issue with flannagan is that Shirley Jacksons work is all about the perils of the nuclear family etc

And to me flannigan was like fuck that family is great

It just goes info the heart of what Jackson was saying and shits on it for no reason?

He kinda made the story more conventional and I hate that

Whatever walked there walked alone is like. Theee core of the story and to be like fuck that is shitty

Jackson isn't some hugely outdated bigoted writer who's ideas need subverting and challenging (at least not in this story. Idk about the rest of her work)

Jackson novel was about how people who don't fit are vunerable a chewed up and spat out by institutions like romance and family

And it's like flannigan didn't get that. Or idk thought yay family was a more radical take

Idk i haven't seen the show recently so I may be misremembering but I feel like the majority of the criticism was that he didn't get / ignored the really interesting thing the book was doing.

I completely understand and respect those views.

I guess to me he did adapt it and made it his own and to me he wanted there to be hope in something that is supposed to be the end all be all of one's support. I HEAR you and yes, agree that the ideals weren't exactly what Jackson had in mind when writing the book and setting the tones and ideas. But for a creator who DID change it as much as he did, I personally feel that he did his best to take the subject matter into consideration, unlike other things I've seen where they just completely disregard certain aspects.

Like, as a quick example: Theo's sexuality. He stated himself that it was important to him and Kate (Theo) to open with her in the night club hooking up with a woman to immediately recognize that part of the character whereas the 1999 movie more or less skated over. In the novel, Theo is very much hinted at being a lesbian (because of course when the book was published, things were a lot different). My point being that while he lost some aspects while filming, he tried hard to make something good. Did he succeed? That's up for debate and that's totally fine. The thing with art is that people interpret it differently. There's the possibility that we're seeing exactly what he was thinking when reading it himself. I'm not saying your analysis is wrong and that he's right for missing the mark in any way, just that he interpreted it differently

There's also the perils of the filmmaking process as a whole in the rewrites and what Netflix wanted and how the writing process actually went. I know that when they started filming they didn't have everything written out. Maybe there were other writers or the production company making changes (I do know there were several scenes cut that he didn't want to get rid of), I don't know. All we have is the final product, that's all we get to see. We don't know what got pushed, saved and cut.

It's been a few years since I've read the book and even though I remember a lot about it, the human mind is fallible and maybe I'm on the other side of you where the show is more prevalent in my mind so I'll definitely need a reread and to reexamine the show, do a side by side comparison. But thank you for pointing all of that out, I can understand your plight with him in that sense.

[I do not have an english degree and it has been years since I was in college (even more since I was in the class where we actively discussed the book itself) so there's a lot that I may misspeak on as far as themes of the book, etc. ]

Let me say this to close: separating the show from the book, in my personal opinion, the show is one of the best I have ever seen and greatly appreciate his work on it. KNOWING he did not initially come up with the ideas for the story and that he had a fuloundation to build upon, I still think he did really well. He could've done worse and not worked as hard to preserve as much of the original story as he did. (I think I made the distinction in my original post but to reiterate: I think I'm okay with a lot of it because I feel like this is a fanfic he's made of Jackson's work )

Thank you for your honest opinion, I like hearing others and why they have certain views

[flickeringflame216]

.

[actual-changeling]

welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner, today's topic: the chest touch at the pub. that scene has me in a chokehold for some reason and i still cannot stop thinking about it.

the first thing i wanna talk about is crowley's reaction, since this is the shorter part. he did not expect aziraphale to reach out to him like this and freezes for a second while aziraphale happily chatters away.

they were both walking and the hand on his chest stops him, so he comes to a stop right next to him while he was slightly behind him before that. his gaze also snaps to aziraphale's face, who is very much not looking at him.

they were having a conversation, but the touch essentially shuts crowley up and zira leaves him to get their drinks.

now, my question is why aziraphale does it. sure, it could just be an absent gesture since they're in a crowded place, just that he has never really done so before. i think it was very much planned, like asking crowley to dance and grabbing his hand later on.

a second before he actually reaches out, he also looks back to check whether crowley is where he thinks he is. that is the only time he does that, he was busy looking for a free table and miracles them one when he cannot find one - the look back is deliberate. especially since crowley is practically glued to his side, he has no need for confirmation, he can feel him brushing against him while walking.

the hand motion he does gets me, too. he is busy fidgeting with his hands like normal and has them clasped in front of him. aziraphale lifts them once he gets to "that is precisely the point", yet also already moves it slightly towards crowley, realizes he miscalculated where exactly he/his chest is, looks to check, then looks away again before actually touching him. am i reading too much into it? maybe.

i think it is his version of a little temptation. not only does it make crowley's brain short-circuit for a second, he also gets them their drinks and is now (or so aziraphale hopes) a bit calmer and will take the news aziraphale is about to give him better. the conversation at the cafe did not go entirely as planned, after all.

additionally, something i am not sure if other people have noticed or not is that aziraphale does not just touch crowley, it is a caress. he moves his hand down his chest.

the movement in order:

bar girl unfortunately moves in front of them, but you can clearly see the way his hand takes. to give you a direct comparison of the starting and end point:

a good point of reference is crowley's bolo tie but also the angle of aziraphale's arm while it is still visible.

the best part, in my opinion, is that aziraphale puts his hand right on top of crowley's heart. i think the symbolic importance of that is pretty clear and does not require any more explanation, although it makes me want to throw myself into a river. but that's by the by.

to summarize, aziraphale caresses crowley's heart chest to get him to calm down and not go insane over the news he is about to give him. he is also simply a bastard and knows exactly what he is doing to crowley.

as always, this is me going nuts with analysis, but i'm also curious to hear other people's thoughts on this.

don't tell my therapist about my unhinged meta posts or she will probably be very concerned for my mental wellbeing

[hwnglx]

pick a pile - what impression do people have of you?

i'm already back with another pac! let's see what impression people have of you, or what they think of you. breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪

pile 1 ❥

hi lovely pile 1 person! you seem to have a harmonious and cooperative impression on people. they might think that you're good at matching yourself to others, good at compromising, just pleasant to be with. they enjoy being around you because you usually don't (at least not intentionally!) overpower people, and prefer not disturbing the peace. and although you don't always feel the need to put yourself above anyone; there still is a quiet sense of confidence within you. you do have quite a strong impression and presence. you're someone who's always seeking to find your very own inner calling, and might be much more self-focused than what meets the eye at first. you just have this nice balance between, not overstepping any lines, understanding the value of harmony between the people you're with (i do think you want to be liked by them!) but also being sure of what you yourself want and need in life, and what you have to do to get it. people might notice that in you. you can have an abundance of energy and passion for the things you feel enthusiastic about.

in addition to that, people seem to acknowledge you being a wise soul, who has gone through their fair share of cycles in life, including difficulties, and therefore has developed a more quiet but powerful inner strength.

they also might think of you as someone who does not shy away from actively speaking their mind once they feel strongly about something. it's giving this usually peaceful and balanced person, who'll transform into a much more direct and straightforward person once a subject is important to them. like you can talkkk, pile 1 person. i just keep hearing you talk haha.. i can see some people being quite surprised over how assertive you can actually be once your opinion is provoked. they might think that you have much more masculine, dominant and assertive energy than one would expect at first glance.

pile 2 ❥

hi lovely pile 2 person! you seem quite youthful in energy. maybe you're someone who always approaches life in a curious manner, always eager to learn and explore different aspects of life; which might be something others notice about you too. they think you're humble, usually more reserved, and very observant. like you have a good eye for things, notice the small details about people, and are always listening and in tune with the people around you. people might also see you as someone who, despite normally being quite grounded, stable and down to earth, does absolutely not shy away from defending themselves if someone manages to come at you. i personally wouldn't want to rub you the wrong way. it's giving “i'm usually nice and chill, laidback.. i just quietly watch everyone, but best believe if you provoke me, you will see a different side of me.” people might think of you as someone with a quick wit and fast-thinking, and a good speaker. like you might talk a lot once you start lmao. a person who's good at asserting their opinion in an impactful and strong manner.

they might also view you as someone who's quite knowledgable, and does have much more inner wisdom than one would expect from your potentially more youthful appearance or aura. it's like you're a young-looking person with a soul much older than what meets the eye. people might be impressed by the good advice you can give to them, and how capable you are of having deep and meaningful conversations about life. you might have a bit of a philosophical vein in you. yet there also is this freedom-loving and free-spirired side to you, where people might think that you usually just don't enjoy being restricted. they might see you as a person who prefers focusing on their own desires and wishes, and enjoys feeling like you aren't tied to anyone or anything in life. you also enjoy having fun, letting lose; not always taking life too seriously. people truly seem to notice this nice balance between youthful and lighthearted, but also mature and grown-up energy within you. i feel like you'd be a great friend to have, actually!

pile 3 ❥

hi lovely pile 3 person! you seem like such a sweetheart, my god. my heart kinda melted right here and there. are you an everybody's darling? i feel like you might have some significant water placements, considering the abundance of cups i got. or maybe you're just very emotional, do you cry easily? i feel like you might get sappy and sentimental about little things, like movies. people around you seem to genuinely enjoy your company, because you're just a joy to be with. you have this nice combination of, knowing how to have fun and enjoy a good time with groups of people, maybe you like going to parties sometimes, but also being excellent at creating special 1:1 connections to others.

they might see you as a person who's able to connect to the people around you in this profound, meaningful and deep manner, where they just feel understood, cared about and listened to when they're with you. when you love someone, you love them with your entire soul. you also might have very non-judgemental, nurturing and caring energy, which people around you appear to be very appreciative of. they also seem to think that you are very beautiful and in tune with your feminine qualities, you might enjoy taking care of the people you love and cherish. people might see you as someone pretty emotional and sensitive too, a kind-natured and loving person who wears their heart of gold on their sleeve. maybe you enjoy cooking, or doing something creatively. in addition, people might just think you're immensely charming (i feel like you might have a charming laugh or smile) and have this dreamy and lovely energy. people think that you're someone who loves the beautiful and aesthetic things in life, maybe you love the idea of love, and are quite a hopeless romantic at heart.

however, they might also notice that you can absolutely be more dominant at times, especially when it comes to your career, work or finances. they likely see you as quite reliable, someone who's stable and dependable when the situation calls for it, and values financial security and safety. someone who can definitely tap into their more “masculine” energy if they feel the need to. they might think that regardless of your usually emotional and soft-hearted nature, you have a strong sense of responsibility and put importance into making sure you stick by the things you say, and keep your promises.

pile 4 ❥

hi lovely pile 4 person! so, as soon as i drew the first card i did hear “pick me”, so maybe people see you as someone who can give off pick me energy. although i have to say, you might be a person who's quite misunderstood and unfairly perceived in some ways. a lot of people might have the impression that you're often overly eager to stand out, maybe a bit of an attention-seeker, though this might just come to you quite naturally. like.. it ain't your fault you're unique, jeez. ㅜ.ㅜ

you seem like an interesting, smart and clever person, who might have a melodic voice, and just speaks in this eloquent and intriguing way. you also might struggle with having a sensitive and emotional heart deep down. do you feel like people often come to you with a false prejudice set in place, and misjudge you for that reason? some people might not see you for the sweet and soft person you actually are. they might not approach you as comfortably, although you absolutely are a genuine sweetheart to the people you are close to and on good terms with. those people might recognise you for your at times youthful, dreamy and lovely energy.

you might give off the energy of a person who appears a little cold, but actually has a vast emotional inner world. some people might also view you as someone who can appear quite guarded and closed off, just because you've been through a lot and don't enjoy putting yourself into a vulnerable place anymore. it truly feels like you've been through a good amount of difficult times in your life, in which people saw you as an easy target and you received some undeserved attacks; which as a result, has made you more wary and careful around people. you might have your walls up a lot of the time, in order to protect that continuously impressionable heart of yours.

i kinda felt for this pile, so i just want to say; don't let anyone tell you you're something you're not! easier said than done but.. try to protect your inner softness, and don't allow people to turn you bitter. you seem to have a genuinely sweet interior, and the people who truly know you, seem very appreciative of it. so don't be swayed by the other people, embrace your true inner nature and try to accept and love yourself for who you are. i feel like you might get impacted by external opinions more than you'd like to admit, but 99% of those opinions are superficial and subjective, and not genuinely representative of your true qualities. stray strong, dear fighter <3

[coffeeshades]

credits to the gif maker!

GUILTY AS SIN...? - PART I

summary: one summer with the man you can't have, but can't stop thinking about.

pairing: cillian murphy x popstar!reader

word count: 5.5k

warnings: 18+ (minors dni). mentions of sex. angst. cussing, slight age gap, mentions of alcohol and divorce. no use of y/n, heavily inspired by ts and ttpd. if i missed something please let me know. (also this is a work of fiction, none of it reflects how i feel about the people mentioned in this, most importantly cillian's wife, who im sure is a sweetheart irl. it's fiction, just relax and enjoy it, and if not, move along, friends.)

a/n: hi everyone! this turned out pretty long so i will be splitting it into parts so it's easier. next part will be posted soon. i hope you all have as much fun reading this as i had writing it. enjoy!

part two

The breeze riffled through your hair as you drove, the sun warming your skin through the open windows. The Irish countryside stretching out before you, lush and green, with rolling hills and quaint villages dotting the landscape. The scent of wildflowers and the sound of nothing but the wind in the trees filled your senses.

It was rare, really. The silence, the feeling of complete freedom, and the solitude that enveloped you. A fleeting escape from the chaos of your everyday life.

The ping of your phone interrupted the peaceful moment. You tapped on the pop-up notification after briefly glancing at the directions to your destination. It was a message from Cillian. Well, two, actually. One was asking how far you were, and the other was a Spotify link followed by a question mark. Ever since he started hosting his bbc radio show, he's been sending you potential songs for his playlists to get your opinion. Not that he needs it anyway. But you always appreciate being included in his process.

Your lips curled into a smile as you clicked on the link. The familiar sound of The Blue Nile's "The Downtown Lights" flooded the car, instantly making you feel a wave of nostalgia. It's been ages since you've listened to that song. The synth-pop melody carries you up the pine-dotted path to where his house perches atop a hill, overlooking the crashing waves below. You've been here a couple of times, and yet it never gets less breathtaking. The Victorian architecture contrasting beautifully with the rugged coastline, creating a scene straight out of a painting.

The car glides right past the wrought iron gates, and you cut the engine in front of the stone steps leading up to the grand entrance. You shoot Cillian a quick text letting him know you're here, unbuckle your seat belt, and hop out of the car.

The June sun beats down on your skin instantly, heat radiating off the cobblestones as you open the backdoor to look through your bag for a hair tie. The smell of saltwater mingles with the sound of gulls overhead, sending you into sensory overload. "Gotcha," you mutter to yourself as you finally find the hair tie and pull your hair back into a loose bun.

"You drove here?" you hear him call out from behind you, his voice tinged with surprise. "And you're alone?" you turn around to see Cillian walking towards you, a curious expression on his face.

"I actually had to throw a tantrum to convince them to let me come alone," you reply with a chuckle, feeling a sense of pride at your small victory. "I was like, It's Ireland. What's the worst that could happen?"

Being who you are means being guarded against any potential danger or harm at all times, being driven to almost everywhere, and always having a security team around.

Cillian laughs, a sound that makes your heart flutter and makes you want to hear it again and again. "Well, I'm glad you made it here in one piece, love," he says with a grin. "You're not a very good driver."

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment. You did regret your decision to drive from the airport 10 minutes later when you realized you were on the wrong side of the road. But he didn't need to know that.

"I made it in one piece, didn't I?" you playfully retort, trying to salvage your wounded pride. Cillian chuckles and shakes his head with a twinkle in his eye. You stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. He looks good, you thought. Unbelievably good. Well rested. His jet black hair was perfectly styled, even though you know he didn't put any effort into it—the slightest hint of silver at the temples, his sharp jawline, and those piercing blue eyes that seemed to see right through you. Though they looked a little tired, as if he had been through a lot since the last time you saw him.

You quickly avert your gaze, feeling a rush of heat on your cheeks.

"It's good to see you," you finally manage to say, trying to sound casual. Cillian's smile softens, and he replies, "It's good to see you too." He opens his arms, inviting you in for a hug. The soft fabric of his t-shirt brushes against your skin as you embrace him, and for a moment, everything feels right in the world.

"Come on, let's get inside," he says, leading you towards the house. Once inside, you make your way to the kitchen. The house was quiet; you wondered if anyone else was home. Cillian's family wasn't by any means loud or boisterous, but the silence felt heavier than usual.

"You hungry, love?" Cillian asks, opening the fridge, pulling out a white ceramic container, and setting it up on the kitchen island. You take a seat on one of the stools while he stands across from you.

"For something sweet?" you smile, seeing the container filled with what seems to be a piece of strawberry sponge cake. His mom must've made it. "Always," you reply. He hands you a spoon and takes one for himself, the two of you sharing the dessert in comfortable silence.

Until he broke it.

"How was Madrid?" he asks softly.

"It was good, great crowd," you reply, taking another bite of the dessert. "But tiring," you add, feeling the exhaustion of the long trip settling in.

"How many nights did you perform?"

"Four."

"Jesus, that's quite a lot, isn't it?"

Your eyes meet his; confusion clear in your expression. "You think that's a lot? Didn't you used to do four or five nights in a row of the same play?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "for months…?

"Yeah, but that was a different kind of exhaustion," he explains, taking another bite. "Performing the way you do in front of a live audience for three hours is a whole different ball game, love."

Love.

There it was again. That godforsaken term of endearment that he seemed to throw around so casually. It made your heart race every time he said it, even though you knew it probably meant nothing to him. But the way he looked at you now, with a hint of admiration in his eyes, made you wonder if maybe—

"Want the last bite?" he offered, taking you out of your thoughts. He pushed the container towards you, a small smile playing on his lips. His gaze was intense, as if silently urging you to take it.

"Oh, hello," a voice exclaimed from behind you, breaking the moment. You drop the spoon on the counter, a little startled. As if you were caught in the act of something forbidden. You turned around to see Yvonne, Cillian's wife. She said your name with a surprised tone, making you feel guilty for some reason. "I didn't know you were here," she continued, her eyes flickering between you and her husband.

You started to rise from your seat, confusion clouding your thoughts. That's weird. Cillian usually lets his wife know when you're visiting, but this time it seems like he didn't. She walked towards you, enveloping you in a hug. "When did you get here?" she said.

"Not long ago," you replied, relieved that she didn't seem upset. "I, uh, wanted to take a break and thought Ireland might be a good place to do that," you added, hoping to diffuse any tension that may have arisen. She nodded understandingly. "And you're staying here?"

"Oh, no, no," you quickly assured her. "I rented a place nearby, so you don't have to worry about me."

"Nonsense," Cillian interjected. "You can stay here. There's plenty of room."

"She's already paid for it, Cillian," Yvonne retorted, giving him a stern look.

Something was definitely off.

This was the last thing you wanted. You've specifically chosen the cottage for two reasons. First, to have space. The whole point of this trip was to finally have peace and write music. You've been stuck for months, not being able to find inspiration in your usual surroundings. Everything felt dull inside you all day—an emptiness that was smothering.

Second, you needed to stay the fuck away from Cillian. Being close to him was dangerous territory, one you didn't want to navigate right now. The plan was to come and visit and occasionally hang out and that's it. The thought of being in such close quarters with him was overwhelming. Staying here meant risking your heart and sanity.

You hesitated, also not wanting to intrude on their space, but Cillian insisted.

"Okay…How about if I stay for a couple of days and then move to the cottage?" you suggested, hoping to compromise. "Sounds perfect to me," he said.

This was going to be a long summer.

For the next few days, you dream too much, don't write enough, and try to find inspiration everywhere. As you settled into the routine of staying at Cillian's, you found yourself enjoying the peaceful surroundings and his company more than you expected. The days seemed to blend together, filled with laughter, deep conversations, and stolen glances that left your heart racing.

But you also felt constantly distracted by his presence, making it difficult to focus on your writing or anything else, for that matter.

All you could think about was him.

The piano room surrounded you with its warm, inviting atmosphere, and you found yourself drawn to it more often than not. The big windows overlooking the garden let in streams of sunlight, casting a warm glow over the bookshelf. You felt the softness of the carpet as you sat on the grand piano bench, running your fingers along the keys absentmindedly.

You started humming a tune that had been stuck in your head for days, the words appearing softly and effortlessly as you played:

Please

I've been on my knees

Change the prophecy

Don't want money

Just someone who wants my company

[Hum, Hum, Hum]

Who do I have to speak to

About if they can redo

The prophecy?

The humming went on whenever you didn't know what to say next, filling in the gaps between the notes on the piano and the lyrics:

A greater woman has faith

[Hum, Hum, Hum]

I'm so afraid I sealed my fate

No sign of soulmates

I'm just a paperweight

[Hum, Hum, Hum]

Spending my last coin so someone will tell me

It'll be ok

[Hum, Hum, Hum]

The melody filled the room until you stopped abruptly, frustrated that the lyrics weren't coming as easily as before. You closed your eyes with a groan, trying to clear your mind. "Fuck," you muttered under your breath, elbows resting on the keys of the piano.

"You good?" Cillian's rough voice broke through your frustration, causing you to look up and offer a weak smile. You don't know how long he's been standing there or how much he heard of your struggles. "Just hitting a wall with this song," you admitted, running a hand through your hair.

"Ah, I see," he nodded sympathetically. He moved towards the records stacked on the shelf and pulled one out, placing it on the turntable. "I don't want to mess with your creative process or anything, but maybe a break with some music will help," he suggested.

Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees" began to play, taking over the room with its haunting melody.

"So you play one of the saddest songs ever?" you deadpanned, "Thanks."

He chuckled softly, "You were playing some pretty intense stuff; I figured it would fit right in."

Oh, so he did hear you.

"Ah, I know it's different from my usual stuff," you said quietly, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about your music. "I might scrap that one. They might not be onboard with the change."

"And why's that?"

Thom Yorke's voice faded into the background as you contemplated his question, unsure of how to respond.

You shrugged, "I listen to sad music, not make it."

"I liked what I heard," he reassured you, "and change is good. It keeps things interesting."

His low voice was soothing, and you found yourself feeling more at ease with the idea of trying something new. Pop has been your comfort zone for so long, it's what stands out of you, but most importantly, it's what sells. At least, that's what's important to the industry. Maybe it was time to push yourself out of it.

"I guess you're right," you replied, a faint smile creeping onto your face.

"As always," he said, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. He stood leaning against the table where the record player sat, arms crossed, looking as if he had too many things to say and not enough words for them.

"Would this be a good time to ask you if everything's okay?" you inquired, noticing the weight of unspoken thoughts in his eyes. "With Yvonne, I mean," you added, nervous to bring up the topic.

That first day, when you arrived at the house, you could sense there was something going on between them. Something bad. The tension in the air was so obvious, but you didn't want to pry. However, as the days went by, it became increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that she hadn't been around or the absence of a certain ring on his finger.

"And here, I thought you were never going to ask," he replied, his words laced with sarcasm.

"I was waiting for you to bring it up," your voice trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. "I-I didn't want to overstep."

He studied you for a moment, or at least, you assumed that was what he was doing. Finally, he averted his gaze and cleared his throat,"We've separated."

A cold feeling settled in your chest as you processed his words. The reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks, and suddenly everything made sense. "Cillian," is all you managed to say, the concern evident in your voice.

He still wouldn't look at you. Knowing him, in moments like this, he wouldn't want to be coddled or pitied, so you save your apologies for later.

"What happened?"

He waved his hand dismissively, still avoiding your gaze. "Nothing, really," he said, his tone final. He didn't look upset, but rather resigned to the situation. "It hadn't been working for a long time; we both knew it was coming. I guess we were holding on for the boys more than anything." You could see the sadness in his eyes, despite his attempt to appear nonchalant. The weight of his words hung in the air, leaving you feeling defeated and unsure of what to say next. You don't think there's anything you can say that will make this or him feel better.

And boy, did you wish you could take away his pain with just a few words.

Cillian walked slowly over the piano, stopping in front of it. He streched his arms over the wooden soundboard, gripping the edges tightly as if seeking some sort of solace in the instrument. He finally looked at you.

"Why didn't you say anything, Cill?" you asked softly, "I would've—"

"You would've what?" he interrupted, his voice strained with emotion. "I didn't want to worry you, you have more important things than my marital issues."

You could see the pain in his eyes, and it tore at your heart to see him suffering in silence. "You're my friend. These things are important to me, Cill," you said gently, reaching out to touch his hand in a gesture of comfort. He flinched slightly at your touch, but then relaxed, leaning into your hand.

He didn't say anything, but you knew he appreciated your words. You could tell by the way his shoulders slumped in relief and the way his fingers loosened their grip on the edge of the piano.

One morning, you woke up to the wind gently rustling through the trees outside your windows. The morning light was clear and clean, leaking through the glass and falling against the walls of the room in soft patterns. It felt too early to be awake, too peaceful to disturb the tranquility of the moment.

You roll over to look at the little clock on the bedside table: 6:20 AM. It wasn't worth trying to go back to sleep, so you threw the covers and climbed out of bed, feeling the cool wood floor beneath your feet as you walked to the bathroom.

You splash cold water on your face and brush your teeth, trying to wake yourself up fully. Holding up your hair, you tie it into a ponytail while walking over the bedside table to grab your phone and airpods. You put one in your ear and hit shuffle on one of your morning playlists. You couldn't function without some music. "Keep On Loving You" by Cigarettes After Sex starts playing.

On your way to the kitchen, you walked by Cillian's room and noticed the door was slightly ajar. Who the hell sleeps with their door open? Psychos, probably. Curiosity getting the best of you, you peeked inside to see him sprawled out on his bed, body illuminated by the soft morning light filtering through the curtains—characteristic warm and cool shades revealing every hollow and speck of bare muscle. He slept with every limb stretched out, a stark contrast to his usual composed demeanor. It was a rare sight, quite poetic.

He looked so peaceful, completely unaware of your presence. So you let your mind wander.

You imagined yourself crossing the room, pulling yourself on top of him. You imagined the way his bare body would look beneath you, his chest rising and falling with each breath, his dark hair messy around his face, his skin warm against yours. His hands—rough and soft at the same time—running over your thigh, your breast, your neck. You could almost feel the heat of his touch, the intensity of his gaze as he looked up at you.

But then reality snapped back into focus.

"Fuck," you muttered under your breath. This was just a fantasy, a dangerous game to play with someone who was somewhat off-limits. But truth be told, the temptation was becoming harder to resist with each passing moment. It was all you could think about ever since he told you about his troubled marriage.

It took a long time for your heartbeat to slow. You headed to the kitchen to get some coffee, hoping that the caffeine would help clear your mind. As you rummage through the cabinets for a mug, his voice startles you from behind. "Need some help with that?" he asks, making you jump.

For a moment you thought you were still imagining things, but you turn around to see him standing there with a t-shirt on as opposed to five minutes ago. Great, him walking around shirtless in his kitchen, sleepy-eyed, messy hair, and rough morning voice would've been lethal.

"I've got it, thanks," you reply, shaking the mug slightly in your hand. You quickly pour yourself some coffee and try to focus on the task at hand: looking for the sugar.

"Sleep well?" he asks, voice still husky from sleep, his accent more prominent. He's rifling through the cabinet for a mug of his own. You can't help but notice the way his muscles flex under his dark t-shirt as he reaches up. You hum in agreement, trying to hide your blush as you take a sip of your coffee. "You?"

"Grand," he replies, pouring himself a cup of coffee and leaning against the counter. You exchange small talk about the upcoming day, but your mind keeps drifting back to how good he looks in the morning light.

"Any plans for today other than locking yourself in the piano room?" he teases, and you shoot him a playful glare. "Maybe I'll actually venture outside for once," you quip, laughing.

"How does the beach sound like?" he asks, "The boys are coming over, and they're bringing some friends, and I thought a trip would be a nice change of scenery."

"I could use some sun," you admit, feeling a smile tug at your lips.

"Let's make it a beach day then," he suggests, setting his mug on the sink. "We leave at 10, piano woman."

"Ha ha, very funny," you say sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "But I'll hold you to it, annoying man," you reply.

"Annoying man?" he repeats, raising an eyebrow. "I thought I was your favorite person."

"Only on days that end in 'y'."

•••

"Are you done with your sad boy music?"

Cillian bursts out laughing, the sound taking you by surprise. He's been playing Radiohead on repeat for the whole car ride, and you were starting to feel like you were in a melancholy music video. "I like their music as much as the next person, but I think I need a break from the sadness," you say.

"Fine, fine," Cillian concedes, reaching for his phone to change the song. The bleak atmosphere in the car lifts as "Linger" by The Cranberries starts playing, filling the space with a more pleasant vibe. Cillian glances at you, he's wearing dark shades that hide his eyes, but you can still see his stoic expression softening as he catches you smiling at the change in music.

"Better?" he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Instead of answering, you start silently singing along to the lyrics, gesticulating dramatically for added effect. Cillian smiles at your antics, his own lips twitching in amusement as he watches you. The boys were so caught up in their conversation with their friends in the backseat that you were pretty sure they weren't even paying attention to the music or your impromptu performance. With a small smile on your face, you face out the window and enjoy the rest of the car ride in content silence.

When you arrive at your destination, all of you unbuckle your seat belts once Cillian puts the Bronco in park. You all pile out of the car, stretching your legs and taking in the sights around you. You close your eyes for a second and take a breath. The sea air—you loved that smell.

•••

A few hours later, after countless swims and some snacks, you find yourself lying on a beach towel, book in hand, feeling the warmth of the temperature on your skin. You're reading a book you picked up at an airport several months ago by Elin Hilderbrand, or the queen of beach reads, as many call her. You were completely engrossed in the story until you felt Cillian settling down next to you.

His hair was damp from the water, and his skin was slightly glistening. Gosh, he looked absolutely stunning. "Mind if I join you?" he asks.

"Not at all," you reply, closing the book and sitting up. "Having fun?"

"Lots," he says with a smile, reaching over to grab his sunglasses. The two of you sit in comfortable silence. The laughter and chatter of his sons and friends coming from the water redirects your attention back to the beach scene before you. You look back at Cillian, his eyes fixed on his sons.

"They love you, you know," you say softly, watching the genuine joy on his face as he watches his children.

"I don't know if I'm doing it right," he says, eyes still fixed on the boys. "I worry I might've fucked them up by letting my relationship with their mother fall apart."

He continues, "Sometimes I feel they resent me for it."

"Why do you feel that way?"

"I don't know, they just seem distant sometimes. Like they're holding back."

"Hey, that's normal for kids to have mixed feelings about their parents' separation. I was so happy when mine got divorced because it meant no more fighting, but it was also tough to adjust to the changes. It's very conflicting stuff," you say, huffing a small laugh. "Also, they're teenagers now, right? That's a tough age to navigate even without the added stress of divorce."

Cillian nods in agreement, exhaling out a yeah.

You squint against the sunlight beaming behind his head before continuing.

"You're a great dad, you always have been. Just show up and be there for them when they need you, even if they don't always seem to appreciate it. They'll remember it in the long run," you offer, remembering how much your own father's presence meant to you after your parents' divorce. "And I'm not a parent, but what parent feels like they're doing everything right all the time, anyway?"

Cillian turns to look at you. He studies your face for a moment before offering a small smile. "I guess you're right," he says sincerely.

"Fork found in kitchen," you retort, breaking the tension with a bit of humor.

He chuckles, "That's clever."

"Well," you continue, "I've been accused of many things over the years, but being unoriginal isn't one of them."

He laughs. Just like he did back in the car: a genuine, carefree laugh that makes you feel a little lighter.

"Want to go for one last swim, piano woman?"

You roll your eyes. "Will you stop calling me that?"

"Not likely," Cillian replies with a grin. "It's too fitting."

You stand up and stretch. You're wearing a one-piece teal-ish swimsuit that you swear you only chose based on comfort and not because it makes your ass and breasts look fantastic. Cillian's eyes linger on you for a moment before he looks away, and you swear you can see a hint of a blush on his cheeks. He doesn't move.

"Are you coming or…?"

"Right, one last swim," he finally says, standing up and following you towards the water.

Maybe that one last swim wasn't a great idea after all.

And why is that?

Because not even five minutes into the water, you thought it would be a good idea to jump from a high rock, and now you're sitting in the car with your knee scrapped, throbbing in pain, and regretting your impulsive decision.

•••

"You're so fuckin' stubborn."

You try to move into a more comfortable position while ignoring the pain shooting up your leg by pressing a hand against one side of the door to keep yourself steady. "And you're so clearly overreacting."

Cillian pushes his bedroom door open. He's also clearly pissed. The ride back to the house was deathly silent. Well, not silent. His sad boy music made a return, and this time with Broken Social Scene. You couldn't ask him to change the music without starting another argument. Even the kids were quiet, beyond asking several times if you were okay, which you assured them you were. Obviously a lie.

As Cillian walks around the room, you reach for your midi white beachy dress and look down at your knee in horror. It's no longer just a bruise, but a gash that is slowly oozing blood. Not as much as before, but still. It looks nasty underneath the shirt Cillian used from his car as a makeshift bandage.

He grabs the first aid kit from a shelf and turns around to face you.

"Take off your dress."

"Pardon me?"

"Take off your dress so I can properly clean and bandage the wound," Cillian repeats, his expression serious. You look down at the blood-stained fabric as if you needed any more confirmation. "Off, C'mon."

You stiffen at his demand, your body going completely rigid at his bossy tone. You watch him stride into his bathroom. He pushes aside some stuff on the counter and tosses the kit onto the counter.

Okay, yeah. He has good reason to be upset. You had no business jumping from that rock.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he'd said before, right when he went to get you. And now you can see the anger still simmering beneath the surface.

You can hear him shuffle in the bathroom while you remove your dress. You still have your swimsuit on underneath, but you feel exposed without the extra layer. Maybe the pain is catching up to you or the fact that you have upset him or that he's waiting for you in the bathroom to take care of you but tears sting your eyes as you try to process the situation. You take a moment to collect yourself. You cannot go in there like this, he cannot see you this vulnerable. At least, not now.

He's braced against the counter, head hung low, when you push open the bathroom door. You nearly back out to give him some space or time to compose himself, but his eyes meet yours and his expression straightens. He clears his throat and then freezes. "I—you're wearing your swimsuit."

"I am. Were you expecting me to change into something else?"

"No," he grumbles, "I mean, nevermind."

He turns back and starts grabbing sterile gauze, his movements slightly jerky. He gestures for you to sit on the counter. "Up."

"I'm not sure I can do that given my—" Before you're done speaking, he scoops you up and sets you on the counter. Your hands are locked around his neck, and his are firmly gripping your waist. They fit perfectly there, like they're made to hold you close.

He reaches behind him, both your faces close together now, and grabs your wrists, pulling them away from his neck and onto your thighs. He puts a hand on your uninjured leg, his touch gentle yet firm. "This is going to hurt." You stare at his impossible blue eyes and think to yourself: yes, this is going to hurt.

"Oh, shit shit," you gasp, gripping his forearm. "Holy fuuuck."

"I've got you, breathe," he commands, and you allow yourself to focus on his voice, letting it ground you. The antiseptic burns both your nostrils and knee as he continues to clean the wound, the pain shooting through your leg causing you to clench your teeth.

"I'm sorry," you breathe out.

There's nothing but silence in response.

"I told you multiple times not to go up there," he finally says, his voice tinged with frustration. "And yet."

"I know," you whisper, feeling guilty.

"Don't do that again," he commands, his accent thickening with emotion. "You could've hurt yourself even more."

"I know," you repeat, not sure how else to respond.

His head is bowed in concentration as he finishes cleaning the wound, his hands steady despite the anger in his voice. You can see his dark eyelashes fluttering slightly as he works. He applies a little more pressure to the bandage than he should've, and you let out a soft moan. This doesn't go unnoticed by him.

The air in the room seems to shift. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, you see something soften in his gaze before he looks away.

"You're not supposed to like that."

Your cheeks heat up immediately.

He's gotten closer to you, your hands somehow made their way to fist his navy blue linen shirt. His body is between your legs, the delicate material of his pants brushing your skin. His breath is warm against your cheek as he leans in closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can't say I mind it either." Your heart races at his proximity, unsure of what to do next.

His hands slide up your thighs, gently caressing your skin, sending shivers down your spine. He's going to kiss you, and you can't help but wonder if it's the right decision to let him.

But now is not the time to be rational about it.

"I'm not gonna stop you," you say quietly, "I wouldn't know how."

His eyes darken, pupils dilating with desire. He doesn't move.

It's like you're both aware of the line you're about to cross, so neither of you moves.

You keep your eyes firmly on his face. His lips inch closer to yours, and you feel the heat of his breath on your skin. Your body is angled towards his, hand gripping the edge of the counter. Your slightly damp hair, now cold, making you shiver.

He's impossibly hard against you, the material of his pants is thin, and you're aware of every inch of him pressing against your throbbing core.

"And I wouldn’t know how to stop kissing you," he whispers, his voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. He shifts slightly, causing his erection to press even more firmly against you, both letting out a soft moan. His mouth hovers just inches from yours, just kiss me, you thought.

There's a knock on the bedroom door, which is, by the way, open.

"Dad?" You both freeze.

The bathroom door is slightly ajar, offering a sliver of privacy but not enough to shield you from any potential interruptions.

"Yes?" Cillian calls out, trying to sound casual despite the intense moment that was just interrupted. "We're ordering takeout, do you want anything?"

"No, buddy, we're good, thanks," Cillian replies, his voice strained as he tries to keep his composure. You hear the steps retreating down the hallway.

Cillian steps back, and the absence of his body against yours is jarring. It clearly would've been a mistake to take this further, but a mistake that would've felt so fucking good.

"We shouldn't do this."

He clears his throat. "Yeah."

He moves towards the door, his movements tense and purposeful. "I'm gonna—" he says, motioning the door.

"Yeah," you quickly reply, "I got it."

You watch him leave, the air heavy with unspoken words and unfulfilled desires.

a/n: thank you for reading! please share your thoughts with me, let me know if you guys enjoyed it :)

part two

[snowave]

Okay, hear me out. Let me just type and post my thoughts about Zayne (which are probably thoughts that aren't just mine, but for other people, too) that kept on lingering in my mind.

In my opinion, being in a relationship with Zayne means a lot of subtle affections, and what other people label as the "bare minimum".

Opening the doors for you,

Head pats,

Accompanying you,

Giving you things that reminds you of him,

And many more.

Some people these days say that we shouldn't settle for less, that we shouldn't be "the bare minimum" enjoyers as what they really call it. I mean, I get it, we should go for someone who wouldn't give you less, but would give you more than you deserve. But for me, sometimes it's always the simplest and the littlest things that makes a relationship work.

Being in a relationship with Zayne would be filled with those simplest and littlest things that other people might brush off as mundane, or a part of daily life. But I think (probably just my mindset, or whatever), sometimes those things are usually neglected. That because they're part of our everyday lives, we don't do those things for others. But for some people (like me), they mean a lot, because it means that the person who does that to you pays you attention, is attentive to what you might need, and knows what to do around you. That is how Zayne is to MC in almost every universe that they're in.

In addition to the things I've mentioned, I think Zayne would make you feel very secure in your relationship. Sure, he might do those mundane tasks to others as well because he's a gentleman, but with you, he does it because he knows you all too well. He makes sure that everything is comfortable for you, that everything is working for you, that things won't be too complicated for you. That's how Zayne is. Also, I think Zayne is a very present partner in a relationship, despite of his busy schedule as a doctor. Even if it isn't a physical presence, I think he's the type to text you about his day, ask you about what you did, always curious about what you are doing, etc., that despite of everything, he will always and will find time to make his presence known into your days, especially those long, agonizing shifts of his, or some medical missions, and the like.

As for reassurances, this is just my opinion, but I think you won't need to ask Zayne for reassurances about your relationship, as I've mentioned, he will make you feel very secure about your relationship with him. Even if you don't ask or tell him something, he just knows. He will make you feel like you're the center of his universe or something like that. But of course, every one has their bad days as well, Zayne will probably reassure you in a way that you'll only realize how huge and deep this man loves you.

(I'm a huge simp for this man, Zayne Li, you'll always have my heart, really. Just my random thoughts, which are probably not that far from yours.)

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Ok, I have two alternatives, pick which one you like the best.

Reader get picked to tutor Eddie even though they have always been at each other's throat, she thinking he's a drama queen, pissed that the popular people doesn't like him and he thinks she's a stuck up bitch without humor.

So they go back and forth but maybe one day when she's having a bad day and Eddie says something and she starts crying he gets all "what, how, why? What did I do, please don't cry!"

Or, that he catches her reading a romance novel and outwardly she has always just read classics - books that are 'high education'

Request by @somethingvicked 🫶💞 went with the first option 💞

Warnings; Little bit of angst, meanish Eddie, fluff. Accidental kiss.

💌🎀💌🎀

"You've got to be kidding me?" you gawk at Miss O'Donnell who has called you back at the end of class. She's asked you to tutor someone and at first you were all for it.

That's until you found out it was Eddie Munson, Munson who is currently sitting at the back of the class with his feet up on the desk in front of him, he gives you a sarcastic little wave and you turn back to Miss O'Donnell and hope she comes to her senses.

"He needs a tutor if he wants to graduate. You're the best student in the class. It will look wonderful on your college applications that you tutored Mr Munson" shit there was really no getting out of this.

Reluctantly you turn to Eddie who already doesn't like you. In his honest opinion you seemed prissy and stuck up. The two of you spent half your time at each other's throats, it had been like that for so long.

Equally you couldn't stand Eddie either. He was loud, a show off and you were sure he was jealous of the popular people he claimed to hate.

How you would manage to tutor him for weeks on end was anyone's guess. One thing's for sure, you were dreading this.

"Meet me after school tomorrow and we can get started okay?" You say to him already grumpy at having to spend extra time with him. Eddie swings his legs off the desk and smirks, then bows.

"As you wish princess" ugh, you storm out but not before hearing Eddie's laughter.

Asshole.

🎀💌🎀💌

The first week of tutoring Eddie is as horrible as you expected. He's antagonistic, makes no effort and needles at your patience until it's paper thin.

"How can you be expected to graduate if you don't make an effort?" You snap as Eddie strums on his guitar.

"That old bat has it in for me, even when I try my best she still doesn't care" Eddie hisses back and you feel the beginnings of a headache come on.

"You just need to apply yourself better, if you want to graduate then you need to ace this Munson" he glares at you.

"Don't you think I know that? It's easy for you though isn't it princess, since your little miss perfect" the insult flares up your annoyance and you and Eddie devolve into your usual arguments.

"Don't you think I have better things to do then tutor you Munson? So do us both a favour and start paying attention, so we can go our separate ways sooner".

He huffs and places down his guitar with gentle care, grabs his notebook and

"Did you draw these?" you ask curious as you trace your fingers over the images on his notebook. He nods and looks at you like he's expecting you to give him shit.

"They are really good Munson, you could think about applying to an art course after graduation" Eddie scoffs and takes his notebook back.

"Yeah like anyone's going to take me with my grades" his tone is all annoyance and it pisses you off.

"I was only trying to compliment you, why do you have to be so touchy all the time" you look away from him stubbornly, he is silent for a few seconds and when he speaks again his voice is soft.

"I'm sorry, I'm not used to a lot of compliments from people" this softens you as well and you turn to face him and give him a small smile.

"Well you're really good" there's a faint tinge of pink to his cheeks when you say this. He nods and settles back down beside you.

"You know uh, you're pretty good with the whole writing thing, uh shit, you know what I mean" pleased and a little flustered at his compliment you clear your throat and mutter thank you, then get started with the book you and Eddie are reading for class.

🎀💌🎀💌

Today has been the worst day. You overslept, forgot to hand your essay in to your biology teacher, the rain soaked you completely as soon as you left your home and you've been verging on a cold ever since.

So the thought of having to tutor Munson again does not fill you with joy, in all honesty all you want is your bed and to sleep. You couldn't get sick, you had too much to do.

Of course from the moment you meet up with Eddie he's difficult. All because it's Friday and he has a Hellfire meeting.

"I have to set everything up princess, I don't have time to waste here with you" furious you round on him.

"You think that I want to be here? No. I'd rather be at home so sit down and let's get on with this so I don't have to sit with your annoying ass any longer than I have to"

"Well at least I'm not a stuck up bitch with no sense of humour and a permanent stick up my ass"

Eddie's words cut to the bone and you stiffen in response. Don't cry, don't cry you chant to yourself, but you can't help as the tears roll down your cheeks, Eddie's big brown eyes widen in shock as you begin to cry.

Humiliated, you're just about to leave when he steps in front of you. "Wait, what did I do?" The two of you exchanged insults on a daily basis and you had never cried before, Eddie begins to panic as your sobs continue.

"Please don't cry" he says, he hates seeing you cry. Your little whimper stabs at his aching heart and on instinct he reaches over to you and takes your hand, the gesture surprises you both and it dries up your tears.

"I'm sorry, I don't like seeing you cry, please stop" you sniff and wipe the remainder of the tears away, Eddie's hand is still holding yours and it's making you feel things that you never expected.

Eddie gently strokes your hand with his thumb, marvels at the soft skin and how your hand fits perfectly in his own.

Uh, shit. This was new. You smile at him, suddenly seeming shy. His heart skips a beat. Jesus h Christ.

"I didn't mean it" he stumbles over his words and you sigh sadly, peer at him with an expression that tugs at his heart.

"Yes you did" he shakes his head fervently and assured you that he didn't.

"I just snapped back without thinking, I'm sorry" he pleads with you and you hear the sincerity in his voice and calm down a bit.

"I'm sorry too. Today has been so shit, I'm tired and I feel like crap. I just want to sleep" Eddie immediately grabs his notebook and pencil and sits down, he looks to you patiently.

"Let's do half an hour and I'll cram as much as I can in my brain and then I'm going to drive you home okay?" relived you nod but still feel worried.

"Miss O'Donnell won't be happy" you tell him and he shrugs as if he doesn't care one bit.

"Leave the old dragon to me okay princess?" touched at his sweetness you take his hand and squeeze it as a thank you. Surprisingly the half hour passes by cordially and Eddie is still sweet.

Before you know it the half hour has ended and Eddie is true to his word and drives you home. You don't feel much better and your stomach is fluttering like crazy being so close to Eddie.

What the hell was happening? Was this some side effect of the flu? Eddie's big brown eyes meet yours, "Thanks for driving me home Eddie"

He shrugs like it's no big deal and on impulse you reach over to kiss his cheek. The only thing is he moves so you miss completely and end up pressing your lips against his.

His eyes widen and you pull away embarrassed, your heart is racing and your lips are tingling from the kiss. You stammer out an apology but Eddie waves it off, you race out the door and into your house.

All the while Eddie is touching his lips, his own heart is racing a mile a minute and all he can think about is that he really wants to kiss you again.

💌🎀💌🎀

[historicity-was-already-taken]

So, I saw you mention from the river to the sea being antisemitic. I’ve heard various people claim it had antisemitic origins but was never able to find reliable corroborating messages and was curious if u could elaborate on that more, if that’s why. The other argument I’ve heard is it being coded for “free from the jews” which. Yk. I definitely know there are some people who say it with that intent. But I am skeptical of insisting that implication is Always present to people who have found it a useful slogan to rally around on this issue without evidence backing up that intent in the original popularization of the slogan or that it has been widespread deliberately used with that meaning for a long time. Given your whole historian business I don’t doubt that you DO have solid reason for saying it’s antisemitic, I’d just love to hear the details.

I'm going to copy and paste what I wrote about this in an earlier post, because that's still my response:

"That phrase contains strongly genocidal undertones with regard to the Jewish population of Israel who were forced to settle there after being ethnically cleansed from their homes across Eurasia and North Africa over the course of the 20th century (many of whom were and continue to be treated like shit by that country's government and don't get me started on the Yishuv's treatment of Holocaust survivors).

More than half of the Jewish population of the world lives in Israel. As an American Jew and a Holocaust historian keenly aware of the circumstances regarding the postwar Jewish peopling of the modern State, I am deeply uncomfortable with seeing that phrase in my intellectual space. Free Palestine, yes; work towards equal rights for Arab and Palestinian citizens of Israel, yes; engage in active reparations for Palestinians who had their property actively stolen from them in 1948, yes; Truth and Reconciliation Commissions, yes; but not on the bodies of half of the 15 million Jews who remain on this planet."

There is no Collective Jewish Take on this, because Jews are not a hivemind. But it is my take, as a Jew, and as a Holocaust historian.

Jews across any political spectrum will be extremely sensitive to ANY language which reads to us incitement to ethnic cleansing, because we've been ethnically cleansed from all regions of Eurasia over the course of our ~3000 year history. A lot of Palestine activists don't want to engage with that and really resent being told that they need to. And like, I get it; I get their frustration, resentment, rage, and righteous indignation. But the Jewish pasts, and Jewish knowledge of our tenuous ongoing existence on this planet; those aren't going to go away just because it complicates rhetoric on the Israel/Palestinian Conflict.

People can keep using "from the river to the sea." You can keep using it. I'm not the Language Police. Some Jews here and elsewhere may feel comfortable using it and being in spaces where it's used. I'm not going to shit on those Jews or call them "Kapos" or "Self-hating" or "pick-mes." But I'm also not going to change my opinion or my analysis, or ever be comfortable with its use in my intellectual space.

[thatfrailsoul]

– The look in your eyes, got me hypnotized

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

There are people that just have something about them... Something that makes you unable to resist the urge to follow them, to get closer... Just to feel their energy around you. Just to receive their attention, feel their gaze on you. There is just something so magnetic about those that inevitably call you. A bait that leads you again and again into the trap of someone so intoxicatingly loving, so painful in the way they grasp your heart. There are many moments in our life when we are captured, hypnotized, by someone. A dangerous love, a painful friendship, a delusional connection, a misleading admiration... But how can we ever be able to resist them, protecting our soul from the ones that try to steal it, make it theirs to play with and enjoy?

This is our first pick a pile reading from the Divination Jukebox - I'm so happy that so many of you liked this idea! (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )づ♡

Apart from being obviously inspired by the story that this song narrates - "Hypnotized" by Funk Tribu and Part Time Killer - this reading was also guided by my cards, that showed me the point of view from which we should listen to this song, the way it wants us to feel, what it wants us to understand right now, what that part of our subconscious that resonates with it wants us to realize...

P.s. If you would like to see a reading inspired by your suggested song, you can learn more about how to participate here ↓

♪♡♪ Divination Jukebox ♪♡♪

Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. And listen to your subconscious instead, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides.

( You can scroll right down to your pile, but if you have a moment to spare - there is something that I would love to hear your opinion about.♡ )

In my each reading, I dive as deeper as I can into the topic or situation that we are looking at. I call for the most needed information for you, the guidance that is the most important for you to receive now... But as useful and right, I sometimes feel a sour taste after a reading. Simply because I understand too well that so often there is much much more that we personally might want to know, more details that we want to hear, more things that we want to be aware of... For this reason, and also to give myself a little more help financially, I was considering on doing extended versions of our pick a pile readings. An addition to each pile of a reading that we do, through which we will be able to have even more details about the situation. So we have not only the message that we need, but also the answers to the questions that we are most curious about.

{ Thank you for letting me know!♡ }

_

– Pile one,

the seven of cups, the death, the five of cups

To be seen, to be noticed amidst all the other ones... To be hold onto so tightly... To be chosen so fiercely and passionately again and again... There is nothing wrong about it. There is nothing wrong or entitled in just wanting to feel so needed and desired. So important and necessary for someone just for once... But when the part of us that desires it so much, finds it so romantic and loving, is the one that has so many wounds, that bleeds still because of all the times it was left behind or put aside... It is no longer just a desire. With each moment and connection that it passes without it, it transforms it into a weapon against us. And worst of all, a weapon that we don't realize to be the ones to hold.

Because for our honest, most genuine and softest heart, to be chosen is to be loved, to be enough, to be that all that someone needs or might want. It doesn't consider being a part of a plan, a part of a temporary satisfaction. It doesn't imagine that others might choose us, but only for a moment that will soon pass. We don't think so superficially, we don't focus only on the now, even if it is all that we hoped for... Our mind and heart rushes, moves forward in time, in our dreams and expectations for a fairytale like story that we think just began. We imagine and start to wait for more moments to create with them, and even difficulties that would be so easy to overcome now that there is someone by our side. We still feel that fear, still overthink and expect the worse. But we also fight every doubt and negative thought with the reminders of their gentleness and comprehension. We soothe ourselves with their loving ways, with the conviction that nothing can really tear us apart. Not when they were the ones to choose us, to come closer to us. Not when they were the ones to take care of us and promise us so much.

So when times change, when the first challenge arrives... we are armed with that sureness that everything will be alright that we created in our heart. Even if it is not just external interference. Even if it comes from them, from their suddenly confusing and so different ways. We still endure it and wait for the best, thanks to that enthusiasm and sureness that just being noticed and chosen created in ourselves. And it becomes only stronger when things do work out. When that person, after making a "mistake", taking some time or hurting us for the first time, comes indeed back and speaks so wholeheartedly about how they understood what they've done and how they will never allow it to happen again... It just makes our conviction stronger, our heart and mind even more infatuated with this perfect story of redemption in the name of love. In our name...

And then it happens again. And again, and again, and again. But we endure it, we are patient, we are understanding, we are hopeful of the fact that everything will be alright. And we fail to see the pattern. The way it happens so similarly every time. The mistake. The hurt. The regret. The forgiveness. And back from the start. Every single time, one after another, a well done play that for so long we consider being something normal... Just because we were convinced of it through the sweet and loving words.

We allow it to happen, without even knowing that we are the ones to allow it. Without understanding that this is indeed not normal. That this, in the first place, is not even what we were looking for when desiring to be chosen. And it just becomes a neverending cycle. With the same person or with the others. In the same exact way, or worse, in newer and ever changing ones. We never have a break. We never feel truly safe and chosen over other people or things. But we just become someone who is so convenient for when things get boring. So easy to maintain with just a few tender words and gentle ways.

And when it is described this way... It seems so obvious how it is wrong and dangerous, and how easy it is to recognise it and to avoid... But it is more tricky than it looks. It is much more difficult to recognise the danger, something that is wrong, when not only it is all that you've known for so long... But also the only one that you ever received from another soul.

Because recognising it is not the only step. There is also the one of refusing it, of walking away and not taking that "bait". But is it really so easy to ignore it, when you know that it might be the only food that you will find in miles and miles that you will need to survive? Facing loneliness, the coldness around you as there is no one to warm even a little your heart... It is not easy at all to face it. And it is even more difficult to choose it, condemning yourself to that silence and void, that absence of smiles, of laughter, of the joy of having someone sometimes by your side. It is not really the decision to hurt yourself. But the one of hurting you less, by giving yourself at least something, even if it is not the exact thing you desired.

Or at least so you thought... What in the theory of a broken and tired heart makes sense, reveals later to be something much more draining and hurtful than you can bear in the reality of your days. The days that perhaps are really not that bad, even if you are the only one to witness them... They are not so cold, even if you have only the warmth of your own heart. They are for sure different from what you desire, or even from what others might expect from you. But not for this reason they are useless or not worth it. To be lived for your own self, candied only by your love... They can be sweet enough to be still enjoyed. Rather than ignored just because it does not come from someone else's heart.

It is not easy at all to resist it, to stop looking for or accepting something that is so damn similar to what you truly want and hope for... But it is easier to start, one step at a time, to learn how to give more love and respect to your own self, to your own ways, your appearance, your character, all that is a part of your beautiful soul... Because it will create that needed and better armour for you, that filter through which you will see the ways of others, giving them credit and appreciating them, but also never feeling dependent, never feeling like it is the only thing you have. So even when it will happen once again, as you will grow and learn to understand the intentions of others more... It will not hurt so much, it will not happen for so dangerously long. Because although still remaining your sweetest, hopeful and open self, you will also become whole. You will be enough, even on your own. Your life as it is will be enough. And every time your soul will connect with someone, they won't be the reason for your days to be lived, they won't cause your life to crash down if they are no longer by your side... But they will just be someone that, if you want to, you can share it with. A little moment, or a whole life.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

– Pile two,

the hierophant, the death, the three of cups

This world is so incredibly vast... This life can be so different just because of one little decision, a step in one direction rather than in the other one... And it is beautiful, it is indeed. But it is also so overwhelming. This freedom but also the risk of making a mistake, of not knowing in fact what is the best for you right now. It is difficult and so so scary to make your steps out there without even knowing what you are looking for, what you would like to achieve in this life, what or how to create... And what you will do if it will not work out. How will you handle a failure all on your own, the one responsible for all your actions and the consequences, the only one to be able to help you or give you support...

So it is normal to look more for that safe space, for that creation of a solid and strong base, perhaps not in other areas of your life that are already so difficult to manage... But at least in your connections, in the people that are by your side and that indeed can make any challenge feel so different, so easier to take care of when you are not alone in this mess desperately trying to save your life. It is normal to do it, to look for them, and once you found them - to look up to them. It is normal to seek support and guidance from those that have such an important place in your heart once they entered your life. It is normal to listen to others, to their opinions and experiences in hopes of finding answers to your own questions about this life. And it is normal to be charmed by their confidence, their strength, their plans and how easily they realize them one step at a time. It is normal and it is logical. To look for someone that can help you grow and become better at managing your life. Someone that, if something happens, always will have your back, always will know how to catch you before you fall to the ground...

But while they do inspire you in your journey... their path is all that they really know. And you are the one that, still so hopeful about your own desires and capabilities, is able to translate their conviction for their goals in motivation for your ones. But what happens when you fall more and more, what happens when you start to feel so tired and hurt with each failure that tears your goals apart, while they seem to become just better and better, safer in their life..? You stop to transform it and translate it for yourself, their story and their ways. And you start to absorb it. Without any filter, desperately. Because you are so consumed that only doubts remain in your heart. Doubts about your own capabilities and chances to succeed, doubts about your awareness and ability to make the right choices, to fight for the right things... Doubts that are just void in your heart, your mind, your ideas or motivation. A void that is so easily filled with the dreams of others, when they are so important, so close, so powerful and successful. An example of perfection that you respect and aspire to become. So you make them yours. Their opinions and convictions. And they help you at every step, because it is simply something that they love and that worked for them, so they are sure it will do the same for you... But does it ever truly..? Or is it just a well hidden play pretend, your tired feet that you try to fit in other's shoes, in hopes that they will be more comfortable, more safer, in the end?

But even so, it is not something that you allow to happen just because of your weakness or such a low self-esteem either... It is rather an influence that you almost desperately accept, in hopes that it will work better than what you tried on your own. It is not really lack of desire of working on something by yourself, but it is rather a genuine uncertainty and confusion on what you want to work on in the first place. It is just the most innocent naivety, being so new and fragile from this perspective for this world. It is just the desire and need to be guided a little, to have that help in figuring out what is the best or what you want, what might work... And it is not a malicious game of manipulation from others either. There is no desire in washing out your brain and fill it with their dreams or goals. It is just a genuine desire to help, but with so little knowledge of the other ways and journeys out there in this world. It is only someone that knows so well and trusts that one specific something, being able to show and help only with and through that. And it is just you that don't really know where or how to make your steps, what path to take, and in front of the immense risk and responsibility of choosing on your own, prefer to trust someone that you love and respect so much. Someone that you know will never do something to hurt you or to ruin your life.

But it still happens though... In a certain sense. Not intentionally. But they still ruin your journey that you do have, contrary to what all these obstacles, failures, and constant changes made you think. It's just not a linear one, not a specific one like so many others have. Your journey is just about something different from simply choosing and achieving. It is more than just one path or one thing to do, try or enjoy... You made so much experience so far, but at the same time so little. From your perspective it is all about failures, not being able to manage things, not knowing where to go... And it is so little about the joy of freedom, the possibility to start again and again, the chance to try and experiment with so many ideas and ways that this world wanted so much to show you, but that presented it so confusingly and poorly, so differently from the way and a language that you could comprehend...

But it is nothing irreparable, fortunately and as always. No matter if you want it or not, there will be many more endings and beginnings, many more changes that you will face in your life... You just need to not be afraid of them, to resist that urge to hold onto the hand of others so dearly, hiding behind their reassuring back instead of moving forward, through and past the obstacles on your path. You just need to have more faith, in your own self and your way of being, your intuition and instincts. More than you trust the ones of the others when it comes to your own life. You just need to be there for yourself, when it becomes a little too scary, different and new. You just need to trust and follow your own gaze, the things that caught your attention. Instead of looking for and trying to decipher the glimpses from others around you, before making any step.

It is okay, it is still right and fine even if it is so different from the journeys of others. And just because they are successful after walking on their chosen path, it doesn't mean that you can't become it too, on a different one, or many different ones. To be successful it is not always or only to achieve your initial goals or to stick to the plan. It is also to be able to learn from what happened, to grow, to enjoy it or even just and simply experience something. And you do it so well already, you manage things much better than you recognise.

Hold onto your own self, onto your curiosity and even the mood swings that gift you the desire to do something else, to look for something more. And let go slightly of their hand. They will not disappear, the ones that you love and look up to. They will always be here. But now you will have the chance to live your life like you want and feel right, not how they would do it, or how they did.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

– Pile three,

the page of cups, the hanged man, the page of pentacles

What can be worse than believing so much in someone, in loving them, in giving them every chance, making them the object of your strongest hope... just for them to be someone that will walk away, uninterested to all that you've done for your connection, not being satisfied with all that you would be ready to do just for your bond..? Only doing it more than once. Again and again. Trusting, welcoming, one soul after another into your world... watching them destroy it after using it for a moment of comfort or unconditional love and support...

But it doesn't really matter for you, for your heart. Does it? All that you endure when you try to connect deeper with someone is simply nothing, compared to that world hidden in their soul that you can witness, that bond that can heal any wound, banish all the fears and nightmares of the old ones... if only they reciprocate your affection and love. It is nothing compared to the chance that the person in front of you is indeed the one. It is nothing compared to the pure pain that would overwhelm you if you miss them. If you miss them because you will be one of those that you swear you won't become. A cold, judgemental, selfish soul...

Because you know thank to your own self how people can be different from the mask that they carry when they are outside. You know how many stories and reasons can be hidden behind that coldness, that meanness, that defensivness that sometimes pours out of someone who is just not used to be treated so softly, so kindly, as you do thanks to your so gentle heart... You know it well, because for so long you felt the same way. In need to protect yourself, to hide your tenderness so you won't be used or hurt every single time... And you remember how, while doing everything to push others away, all you wanted was to be seen and understood, accepted and appreciated just the way you were... So you do it with others too now. Now that you found that strength and courage to just love the way you feel is right. You nourish every person, you take care of every one that crosses your path. You believe in them, you trust them. And you hope that one day, thanks to you, they will finally open up. And love you back.

But although so noble and incredibly sweet... it is a promise that is not so easy to keep. Not when those that you try to take care of are so different from how you were when you needed it. Their armour is stronger. Their pain is more loud. And sometimes... they already chose a different path, a more lonely one. And nothing will change it, no matter how hard you will try, how strongly you will believe that somewhere in them there is more sweetness and gentleness hidden, that there can be more between you than just this coldness and distance between your hearts.

You are incredibly loving, you are just so sweet. And it truly admirable the way you still hold hope, the way you find courage within yourself and are ready to put your own heart at risk just to help others. Just to gift them that love that you know they need... But it is also so destructive, for your own soul. To put yourself again and again on the line in the battles of others, just because they are by your side, close enough to be noticed by your protective and selfless eyes...

For how long can you endure it? For how long you can give so much of you, because of this strong conviction that there is more to people, to connections, to their stories... Because of your desire to know them, understand them and save them, like no one ever did for you when you needed it the most? It wouldn't be right to just tell you to not do it. To lose your faith in people and in the connections. To force yourself to believe that no one ever will appreciate the way you love or give you that same love back... Because it is just the way you are. So rare and beautiful in how much love you hold in your heart... But it would be right and even needed for you to learn to not force it... when you feel so much resistance, when you just receive silence, in return of your desire to help or show others a different way to see this world. Because there are those that are more sure and more honest. The ones that want to take care of their wounds on their own, and that would never accept to use someone, because they know too well how much it would hurt. The ones that just push you away, or move forward and past you, following their own journey and making it clear that they want to go through it alone... But there are also those that are more confused, more tired, or even worse just bored... Those that make you stay, seeing how much you want to give to someone your love. Those that accept it. But also never repay you. Those that take more and more from you, that are so willing to help every time that they ask you...even when they don't really need it. But just want it. So it is less lonely and cold.

You have a golden heart, a pure and honest one. And for this reason it should be protected, at least a little more. Be yourself, be kind, be gentle. But also pay more attention to the ones that call your name and seek your help so often, always right after being the one to push you away... Because sometimes there are people that just can't resist your love that is always so available, so comforting and convenient for their lonely nights, for the nightmares and difficult times that they could and should overcome on their own, but are just not ready. Or don't want.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

[khaire-traveler]

I'm curious because someone recently made the comment that it's only fair for Lord Charon to expect money in return for his services, but this system would actually raise a lot of questions. If you're curious, some questions I thought of are featured below.

(For the record, I still believe Charon deserves recognition for what he does; it's just the coin system doesn't actually make sense when you start examining it closely.)

Please reblog! 🧡 I want to hear everyone's opinions on this.

Not every Underworld god is paid for their labors. Some aren't even given offerings anymore, their names tragically lost to time. So, why is Lord Charon specifically mentioned to require coins for his ferry? Why not Lord Haides, for entry to his domain? Or Lord Thanatos for deliverance of one's soul? Or Lord Hermes for transportation from the mortal realm to that of the dead? Why not Cerberus for letting you through The Gates (he is a sentient being, btw, for those who seem to think he's just a random three-headed dog)?

Does The Underworld have an economy? Why does it need an economy based on coins from the material plane/Earth? How does it even determine currency value?I mean, just imagine how many different people from different countries would have gone to The Underworld and paid with coins over thousands upon thousands of years.

Does payment have to be coins, or is there maybe some other form payment you can provide? Does the value of the item have to be monetary, or can it be something that meant a lot to you in life? More of a metaphorical release of the material plane, in a sense, as you trade off something that ties you to Earth and are officially transported to "The Other Side".

How do you get physical coins onto a spiritual plane?

Why would Charon need coins from the surface world? Does he maybe just have a sick coin collection from over thousands of years of human history?

What about our ancestors who were alive before the invention of monetary coins; were they just expected to stand at the shore for 100 years for not having something that didn't exist yet?

Speaking of the last question, where do animals go? How do they get across the river Styx?

Why would the afterlife require money in order for you to enter it properly? That seems kind of fucked up and more like something a bunch of old men wrote down to declare the wealthy more important than the poor, no?

If this is really just a job for Lord Charon (who is a son of Nyx, mind you), that implies that maybe Lord Haides (or whomever oversees that) could hire others to help him. Is there more than one ferryman on the river Styx? What is their average hourly pay? How can I apply, and does anyone have any interview tips? Seems to me that it'd be based on commission.

Do you think the spirits on the riverbank get bored of waiting? What do you think they do for 100 years to pass all that time? 🤔

[bunji-enthusiast]

ahhhhh, im.not the one who requested it buy I love the oneshot about catnap with the child he took care of after the hour of joy because of the kitty thing. Even though I'm not the one who requested it, is it possible I can request something in the same premise of it. Where catnap after taking care of the child for a long time is starting to run out of the food reserves the factory had, and he has to find other ways to feed them. Through feeding them like how he feeds the smiling critters in the playhouse on "meat" from you know who, or forcing the child to leave so they have a chance to find food. But catnap being catnap wants to keep her there despite so decides on the first choice, even though he had let the child get attached to dogday.

(I'm sorry this may show up on your ask box twice I ment to not send this anonymously but I did by accident so I wanted to correct that, anyways thank you for your absolutely amazing writing remember to take breaks when you need to and stay amazing❤️)

Seeker

Note || awe, no worries. Happy to see you in!

WC || 1,034

Sypnosis || emotions are scarce, food is too. It seems factory is getting to everyone, CatNap is left with unprecedented levels of risks.

The conditions of the environment were no doubt not very liveable ones, so he had tried his best to adapt to the conditions so that you may be able to live in his room comfortably or even walk anywhere else in Playcare. Even beyond the whole place in any case, he just wasn’t sure what to do anymore. CatNap was at an odds end within himself at deciding what to do, what would be best for you.

Should he force you to leave the factory in hopes you find food? No, you’d just get lost and scared, no doubt manhandled by an incompetent people that may pass you by in the process. You were just a kid, lonely and in need of companionship and being surrounded by people you could truly trust.

Though the colorful disposition and creepy toys in this place far proved the idea he needed to keep you safer more often. Knowing that you may as well get attached to some of the other toys you come across, CatNap was admittedly worried. 

You were often inquisitive, curious to find everything your attention was captured by. That wasn’t of any good in his honest opinion, but he had to remain with a steady and cool head. So that when it may be, he can take care of you more properly.

CatNap didn’t want you to leave, he had become far too accustomed to your presence. Hearing your joyful laughs and giggles, staying so hopeful and strong in your own unique way. You certainly brought on a joyful aspect to his lonely life, even with all the others he had punished for being heretics. 

DogDay, oh yes, he had to take some chunks from him. That was the last thing he wanted to do with all that has been said and done. But he truly had no other option, but his worst thought being as how you began to get attached to DogDay.

In retrospect however, he will admit that you can be cute and quite charming for just being a child at most. 

“Mr…” You began, the crayon stilling to a stop. DogDay perked his head up, though the effort to move is indeed extraneous on his war-torn body (both literally and figuratively). “Hm, sweetheart?” He spoke out, his voice spooking you a little bit as he hadn’t spoken very often. You didn’t expect him to actually answer you or at all for that matter, but DogDay seemed kind to you. You wanted to get to know him at least, but to him, he was slight afraid – on your behalf, you didn’t know better on a lot of things. Especially the vying point is how his legs had been taken from him, most of it being fed to the smaller toy versions of the smiling critters and you too. Did you even know what you were eating?

You hesitantly stood up, leaving your paper and crayon to abandon. “Why are you chained up like that?” You asked with a tinge of nervousness, almost afraid as if you were going to incur some sort of angry emotion from the large dog. If he could truly move his own gaping black mouth, he would’ve been frowning right now. DogDay was concerned for you, as to why you were put in this situation. 

“I am… just not a very good person, sweetheart.” His gentle tone carried an aura reminiscent of a father if you ever heard one. Your eyes were wide with curiosity, knowing it was okay to continue speaking with him the way you were. “But, you don’t look bad to me. You're even nice to me!” Your innocent tone had brought back a fragmented memory for DogDay, he chuckled with a warm spell about the air.

DogDay let out an audible sigh, “Not all things are as they seem, CatNap included.” His words incited a bout of curiosity in the flames of your stomach. Now this was something you needed to understand, “Stretchy kitty?” DogDay nodded, a chuckle escaping him once more. You simply were the cutest thing he had seen in a long while. 

“I.. would say he’s not, kind or gentle as you would think him to be.” DogDay was nervous, irradiated by a different presence he had quickly taken notice of, but had continued on anyway. “CatNap, had uh, punished me Sweetheart. Wasn’t nice to his god.” 

‘God?’ you thought, “what is that Mr?” You spoke out in reply, sitting down and closer next to him then you were previously. You were rather oblivious to the presence of such an omniscient aura, menacing enough to be sure. DogDay wasn’t sure how to explain the term finely, but you were curious, wanting to satiate that curiosity by always asking questions. 

You deserved to have every single one of them answered, no matter how silly they may seem. DogDay had hoped the best for you, he had gotten rather attached to you. In spite of CatNap’s many warnings to not talk to you or even glance in your direction, not wanting him to bore your head with lies and spiteful attempts to turn you against him in any way possible. Well, DogDay had felt quite an intense hatred against CatNap right at this very moment, and found the courage to move on forward with his words. No matter what may happen to him, “God is uh, let’s say a very inspirational person… powerful even. But he can be a hypocrite too.” He nodded, tilting his head as if he was speaking through his movements.

“Sweetheart, you follow your own heart alright?” DogDay spoke hopefully, hoping to see that his words had gotten to you a little bit. “Never let anyone tell you otherwise.” You nodded with a fire in your eyes he hadn’t expected from you, but this a youthful you, easily impressionable and inspired. DogDay will forever be hopeful for you, and grateful he ever had gotten to speak to you in the past few days anyway.

A distant crying was unheard of, a lonely digressable cat, heart heavy and hurt. He began to cry silently, tears are there yet there are none.

I’ll shelter and adore you more than anything.

[fallow-hollow]

haiii :D anon who requested courting rituals with kabru here !! i meant to imply somewhere like southeast asia , ( although i could totally see kabru being from an area near the himalayas or something , like nepal , since he shares a name with one of the mountains ) but i intentionally tried to specify it reallyy vague so anyone could relate ! (๑>◡<๑)

but to be fair , i dont really think dungeon meshi really mentions the southeast much or even at all ?? (｀_´)ゞother than the mention of toshiro being from the eastern archipelago , so i'd imagine reader would be from one of the various scattered islands there towards the south ? :0

( also if you need an example , some traditional courting where i'm from is something like meeting the parents and asking for permission to pursue , handwritten letters , meaningful conversations , various gifts like flowers , and serenading ! plus just genuine respect and a willingness to wait ^_^ even though im pretty sure kabru would get a bit impatient sometimes ehehe )

i know it sounds like something pretty simple but even the little things can go a long way ٩(^‿^)۶ !!

suitor

…ft! kabru x male! reader

…tags! courting, mentions of marriage, meeting reader’s family, reader is from an unspecified place outside the island, dancing, mentions of having kids

…word count! 2025

…notes! tried to make these imagines broad but not extremely so, and some of these courting gestures do have a little kabru flare to them because he’s like that. feedback is greatly appreciated, because i want to make sure my writing is accurate to each request!

Kabru isn’t someone I’d see dating casually. Sure, he frequently uses his charm to sway people’s opinions and get them on his side, but I don’t think he’s really been in a proper relationship before at all. So if Kabru’s pursuing you, it’s for keeps.

Family is a really important thing in courting/marriage culture all around the world, so trust and believe that one of the first things he does is try to get on good terms with your family members.

Don’t underestimate the man, he will somehow deduce the mailing addresses of your immediate and extended family and immediately started getting in contact, saying he was a friend of yours and telling them about the time spent with you. Pretty quickly after that, your family starts sending you letters telling you that you should’ve told them about that lovely young gentleman you’d met sooner.

“Kabru?”

Arms crossed, you did your best to remain steadfast even as your companion looked at you with soft eyes and a gentle smile.

“Yes?” His response was laced with false innocence, but you knew he knew. He just got a kick out of hearing you say it yourself.

With a sigh, you would slump your shoulders and ask, “how did you find out the mailing address of several of my family members?”

“Oh, that was just a coincidence,” the man lied. “Remember when one of your packages got misdelivered to the tavern? The return address happened to stick in my memory, and I got curious to learn more about your family. After all, they contact you quite a bit, and I was curious about your relationship.”

Despite your lack of a headache, you rubbed your temples with your index and middle fingers to express your exasperation with the man. Kabru was great, he really was, but sometimes he confused you greatly….

“You could’ve just asked, you know that?”

The close-eyed smile he gave you in return let you know that you probably hadn’t gotten through to him much.

“I just thought it would be a nice surprise, don’t you agree?”

He might not express it much outwardly, but deep down, Kabru is really worried about being good enough to obtain the blessing to pursue you. That’s why he tries to cover as many bases as possible to be the best possible suitor for you.

When he does get to meet your family in person, he does as much preparation as humanly possible to make it all go perfectly. He studies up on local politics, sports, and cuisine in order to be able to make good conversation with your family.

I think Kabru also rather likes kids, so he’s extremely good with any younger family members you may have, which is likely to score points with your parents and other adults in the family. Kabru loves hearing the funny things kids say and seeing what sort of things their vibrant minds come up with, so he’d do things like play pretend with them. He’s also pretty physically fit, so he could play a sport or outdoor game with them too.

Even if he appears perfectly calm on the inside, he was absolutely scared shitless when he asked your family for permission to pursue you. He would assure them that he’s very much prepared to be with you in the long term, and even came prepared with things like savings for marriage or even a dowry if that’s something that is typical in your region.

Overall, Kabru is a polite, poised, and extremely well educated young man, so he’s someone that pretty much any parent would want as a son-in-law. Hearing their words of approval was like lifting the weight of an entire city off his shoulders.

“I was so worried,” your partner would admit after the fact. Completely unable to wrap your head around such a thing, you said the first thing that came to your mind.

“How could you be? You’re perfect, Kabru. If anything, I was worried you’d have something better to do than settle down with me.”

Those piercing blue eyes bored into your skull, looking at you as if you were the most insane man in the world for having said such a thing.

“How could that be when you’re perfect too?”

The question left you in such a shocked and flustered state that you hardly noticed him move into you felt both his hands holding one of your own, thumbs resting almost reverently on top of your ring finger.

“It’s almost embarrassing now to admit that at one point in time, I didn’t see a future for myself. I guess that was because I hadn’t seen you yet?”

A ‘pfft’ sound escaped your mouth almost instantly. “Oh, no need to use your smooth lines on me.”

Both thumbs pressed down on your finger ever so slightly, in the place where perhaps a ring might go.

“I mean it, I really do.”

Whether it be providing for you or taking care of a home, Kabru does his best to learn anything he needs to no one order to be a good partner. The man actually isn’t very good at taking care of himself, so him learning housework and cooking for your sake really goes to show just how devoted he is.

In fact, on one of your dates, he surprises you by presenting you with a dish he cooked himself — one from your homeland. Even if it’s not perfect, you can tell he put so much love into it.

“The arrangement of it is kind of messy, I know….” Seeing Kabru of all people acting sheepish was certainly a rare sight. As strange as it was, thinking about the implications of such a thing made you feel all warm inside. He really cared for you that much, huh……

“It’s not the appearance of it that matters, it’s the taste.” You were quick to reassure him, smiling as you took the necessary utensils in one hand. “Besides, knowing that you tried so hard for me is more than enough. I mean, I hardly ever see you cook for yourself.”

There was no way Kabru could deny your statement, so he could only nod and look to the side. Instead of directly addressing your correct assessment of his skills, he pivoted into an adjacent topic. “Cooking has always been a gesture people perform for the people they care about. All over the world, it’s something that connects families and couples… it’s only natural I should try it, regardless of my skill level.”

Your partner’s explanations of his acts of service, despite sounding like they came right out of some textbook, never failed to charm you. At its core, it was yet another reminder of how hard Kabru worked to understand how to be a good partner for you.

“It means a lot to me,” you reassured him, lifting the food to your lips, not quite eating it yet. Kabru did his best to keep his expression stone still to hide his anticipation as you inhaled the scent of the dish, making a small humming noise in reaction that he couldn’t help but overthink on the inside. Was it good? Bad? Did he not use enough spices? Too many spices? He knew he should have triple checked the recipe…

While the tallman was overthinking, you readily accepted the labor of love into your mouth, deliberating on its texture and flavor as you chewed. A sharp exhale escaped you immediately after swallowing, after which you would chirp with delight,

“It’s really nice!”

Kabru’s shoulders relaxed for the first time in the date. Mission accomplished.

I imagine Kabru keeps a journal not only about daily events, but also about people, so sometimes as a gift you might get one of the pages of his journal that has an entry about you. Sometimes the page may also contain little doodles or sketches of you, many of which were when he was admiring you without you noticing.

Kabru’s got a pretty nice singing voice, actually, and he seems to speak multiple languages, so he may try learning songs in your language to sing to you. It’s as smooth and romantic as you’d imagine, but if you start singing along with him, you can see him start to melt the second he hears your voice. You really are his weakness.

Another thing — dancing! Kabru has likely had ballroom dance lessons, but other types of dance are ones he’s more unfamiliar with. If you ever know a regional dance you want to teach him, he’ll be happy to learn, albeit super embarrassed at his own clumsiness. Being able to romance you with honeyed words and picture perfect gestures is something he prides himself on, but you reassure him that he’s just as charming even now.

A chorus of ‘sorry’s followed almost in time with the rhythm of your own feet. The man responsible for said chorus, however, didn’t seem to have much rhythm of his own yet, and was feeling rather bashful as a result.

“It’s rare that I get to see you clumsy, Kabru.” There was a teasing lilt in your voice that the other man immediately read into, despite his best judgment. Logically, he knew that you would never say something intentionally cruel to or about him, but when he was always so eager to have your favor, it was hard not to worry.

Another apology escaped his lips, after which one of your hands left its assigned position to rest under his chin. The movement of the rest of your body stilled, focusing only on getting the one you loved so dearly to face you. Blue irises were met with not a trace of malice, only the truest of endearment.

“It’s fine, Kabru.” The affection in your voice paired with how insistently you pitched these words to him gave him the strength to smile and nod in understanding, his own paranoid be damned. Resolving his habitual apologizing sated you, though you were certainly not done loving on the man that you called yours.

“Honestly it’s nice to be able to teach you things firsthand. You spend a lot of time reading about things, probably to surprise me, which is great, don’t get me wrong — but I like this.”

The little head tilt you did without thinking drove him wild on the inside, but he did his best not to show it. It would be so easy to kiss you like this.

“I like being able to feel like I can teach you something, even when you know as much as you do.”

Considering it made you this happy, Kabru might start asking you to teach him things a lot more often. For once, the thought of putting the situation in someone else’s hands made him feel warm inside instead of uneasy.

“Yeah, I like it too.”

Fashion may not be one of Kabru’s biggest interests, but the sight of you in any culture or region-specific clothing that you like always has him in awe of just how dashing you look.

This goes double if it’s your wedding and you’re wearing a traditional outfit, maybe even something passed down in the family. You might as well just kill the man then and there, really.

Speaking of marriage and family, I think Kabru would actually really like adopting a kid some time in the future, as long as everything is stable and such. Kabru himself was adopted, so the idea of becoming a home for a child who may have lost the home they had before is a concept rather close to his own heart.

Future used to be something Kabru fought desperately to create for all of humanity while never, ever considering his own place in it. So much changed after meeting you — he could actually see himself having a future now. Being an important character in a story instead of just the person telling it to somebody else.

More than anything, you saved him. He doesn’t tell this to anybody other than you, but as you lay together at night, he insists he wouldn’t trade any of this for the world.