#i'm back from the dead here have this

[anyasathenaeum]

Not Fair

A/N: I just felt like I needed some slightly sad and soft Vash in bed (not the nsfw kind), I decided to self-project my need to cuddle this man, hug him and tell him how wonderful he is and how much he deserves love and happiness okay bye

Warnings: Brief mention of nudity, hurt/comfort, cuddling

The only light that filled the shabby inn room was from the soft glow of the moon.

What you wouldn't give to live in this moment forever - just you and Vash, with nothing between you and a thin blanket covering you both, protecting you both from the vicious world outside.

The man who frightened townsfolk, referred to as the "Humanoid Typhoon", as humanity's first walking disaster, was currently curled up by your side and holding you close in his embrace with such care that you would think you were made of glass.

Vash's flesh-and-blood hand rested on the back of your head and his prosthetic held your waist gently as he held you close, his cold fingers tracing over your delicate skin, his beautiful blue eyes trained on you with such reverence, love and tenderness that it made you want to cry.

You found your own fingers tracing over Vash's many scars, reminders of the fear and hatred that was so often and so wrongly directed at him.

"It isn't fair," You whispered softly, not really sure who you were talking to. "You don't deserve this. You never deserved any of this."

Before you could realize it, your cheeks were wet with tears as you looked at Vash's body, overwhelmed by feelings of sadness for him - how could somebody as wonderful as him be treated so poorly?

Vash's heart broke in his chest as he watched the tears go down your cheeks, your words hitting him harder than you knew. You traced his scars so gently and with such care that Vash found himself fighting off his own tears.

How could he possibly deserve somebody as kind and as loving as you? How could he possibly deserve somebody who cried for him and cared for him as much as you did, after everything he had done in his long life?

"(Y/N)... Mayfly..." Vash's tone was gentle, not giving a single hint as to his inner turmoil. "Don't cry. It's okay."

"It's not, Vash!" You immediately replied, your teary eyes wide with disbelief as you looked at him - how was he so accepting of the treatment he'd gotten from people, even up until now? "It's not okay! You don't deserve to be hurt. You deserve to be loved, to be cared for. You deserve to be happy, Vash. You deserve peace."

The passion behind your words did move Vash to tears, and the blonde-haired man simply pulled you into an even tighter hug, his bare body pressed against yours as his silent tears traced down his cheeks.

"B-But..." Vash struggled, his throat tight with emotion, "I-... I-..."

Before Vash could get any other word out, your lips were on his in a gentle but insistent kiss. A kiss that spoke so much louder than any words you possibly could've uttered in that moment - it spoke of your love for Vash, of your belief in his deserving good things, of you wanting to care for him and protect him with every fiber of your being.

Vash couldn't help but return the kiss, his tears and your own intermingling as he held onto you with such desperation. You were his lifeline in that moment. Your love for him was what kept him from being completely washed away by the misery, the anger, the self-hatred and the sadness that Vash felt each and every day.

Vash was thanking whatever gods existed above for you, for the fact that you had crossed paths with him and you had seen enough good in him to stay, to love him for everything he was and to fight for him and alongside him.

Once the two of you had both calmed slightly, you shifted your position so that Vash was now the one in your arms, his blonde hair splayed out over your bare chest as his head rested on you, the continuous gentle thud of your heartbeat soothing him. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close as you kissed his forehead gently, brushing stray strands of hair out of his face.

"You're everything to me, Vash. I love you more than anything, and I would do anything to protect you. I promise I won't let anybody hurt you anymore. Not as long as I live," You spoke softly, your voice wobbling as you did so.

Vash heart twisted in his chest at your promise, and he shifted so that he could prop himself up to look at you. Tears were pooling in your eyes once more, and Vash quickly took your hand in his, kissing it tenderly as his heart ached from sheer love of you. You were so good - how could you possibly be his?

"Oh, Mayfly..." Vash couldn't bring himself to say anything more; the wobble of his lip was a dead giveaway that if he spoke any more, he'd burst into tears again, too.

"I swear it on my life, Vash," You continued, your voice falling to a whisper. "I'll protect you however I can. I love you, Vash."

Now it was Vash's turn to kiss you, his hands cradling your cheeks so gently as he pressed his lips to yours tenderly. He couldn't seem to find the words to convey to you just how much he loved you.

You hadn't been a love-at-first-sight situation. You had grown on Vash slowly, over the course of many years. You had become his best friend and closest ally, the one person he could always depend on and trust without fault. It had always been just you and him.

However, it wasn't until Vash had nearly lost you that he realized... that you were his reason for continuing this fight, the reason he still smiled and laughed. You were his strength.

And God, he loved you.

He loved you so much that he couldn't breathe if you weren't near him. He felt like half of himself was missing every second the two of you spent apart. And it terrified him. But losing you terrified him more. Eventually, the two of you fell into a relationship that was hidden from the world, only known by the two of you and a few other trustworthy people who had figured it out on their own.

So now, as Vash kissed you and held you under the secret cover of night, he found himself wanting nothing more than to have this moment last forever. This moment of love, in its rawest form.

A moment for just you and him where nothing else mattered. Where you both could dream of a future for the two of you.

Together.

[lotus-pear]

mourning black and the death of ideals

[bigchumpus]

Grian doodles ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[arthursfuckinghat]

You know, I don't think I'll ever get used to Dutch's constant two-faced behaviour.

One minute you're coming back to camp and then getting an earful from Dutch about not bringing in enough money, then the next minute he'll greet you and say how he missed you and asks what you've been up to as soon as you walk into camp.

On a bad day, you're the person who's going to betray Dutch in the end. Then on a good day, you're his favourite son who's always been special to him.

The camp gives Arthur grief for his 'moods' but the others didn't seem to comment on Dutch's camp behaviour in the same way, even in the early chapters.

[gods-perfect-idiots]

something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something

anyway here's the post btw

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3

[winteriron-trash]

rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo

This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.

I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.

This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.

I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.

[fooltofancy]

then and now ~

wasn't actually gonna do this due to feeling. weird. about literally everything rn, but! out is through, etc.

once upon a time baby mode was a cat. i think i started playing in like. 2019? the first time? did not last, because i am classically bad at mmos. started playing again just before ew, because bnuy. anyway, baby mode, cat edition, first -> last

did love the hell outta that stupid little cat, though.

baby mode, bnuy edition didn't become ilya til like. well after i finished ew, but despite that the only real changes he's gone through are eye and haircolor, lmao. i have a brand. 😔

might be an actual guy, now, but he's still a meme.

lil art journey below the cut, 'cause i know it's not about that but that's where the actual guy. is. so.

mostly though he's just gotten. broader. didn't quite manage to untwink that man, but i tried. almost 2025 and i still don't know where his ears go.

[unnonexistence]

new year, new WIP post! at the end of 2024 i had 8672 words edited and marked as Done on the Big WIP. now i'm up to 8865

[camellcat]

reading a post s7 fic and it's got me thinking... like, y'know, maybe the reason wil and xand struggle with their partners is because no one really comes above buffy. they're part of the slayer's arsenal, her best weapons, her biggest supports. and why buffy has such people troubles in general is because she will always always save wil and xand before anybody else. cause it's them three against the world

[sysig]

The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)

[wildsaltair]

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33

good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':

( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )

i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!

( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )

***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx

i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands

( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**

**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )

...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...

...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c

BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )

today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...

AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D

and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!

nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.

unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.

( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )

until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )

KALE SEITAN! ;)

posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )

-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...

...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )

and i'm calling it...

<3

p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.

so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33

thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*

~SCHARLET sLUt~

cheers! mazel! ;) xx

-uncle nina, in her healing era <3

[hoshigray]

To conclude this week's leaks session, if such a fuckass plan was greenlit like this, then I'm not delusional to think that toji can come back for one last final frenzy

[melit0n]

.

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing