#vash hurt comfort

[anyasathenaeum]

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A/N: I'm basing this off of this drabble I wrote as part of my 100 follower event, I really wanted to write a whole fic about it because Vash deserves to be taken care of and loved and lowkey told off for being reckless. Did I channel myself through this? Hell yeah I did. Enjoy friends!

Warnings: Explicit mentions of wounds, blood, violence

Word Count: 6.6K

"Well, this is definitely not how I expected today to go!"

You found yourself shouting to Vash over the sounds of yelling, blows and glass shattering, the two of you hiding behind the bar in the town saloon as several angry and drunk patrons decided to have an impromptu brawl, cornering the both of you with no way out.

The two of you had drifted into this quaint little town, looking forward to a couple days of peace and rest. You two had gotten a room at the local inn and decided to go for a drink in the saloon, and then next thing you both knew, you were hiding behind the bar during a fight. Several other patrons hid behind the bar alongside the two of you, all of them clearly afraid or trying to figure out a way out, too.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)!" Vash yelled back to you over the sounds of chaos, his expression sheepish, "I didn't think-"

"Don't worry about it!" You cut him off, flinching as glass shattered right above your head. The patrons were getting more and more reckless as they fought, clearly showing no thought to their surroundings.

You felt Vash's arm wrap around you as he tugged you closer to him, likely to shield you as he usually tried to do.

"We gotta get outta here! Before those idiots end up hurting themselves and us!" You exclaimed, glancing up at your best friend of many years as he looked around, clearly trying to figure out the best way to get out of this situation unscathed. Unfortunately, as a healer, escape strategies were not your forte.

"Alright," Vash replied after a couple moments, his expression resolute as he looked down at you with a nod, "On 3, follow me, and whatever you do, do NOT let go of my hand!"

All you could do was nod as you took his prosthetic hand in yours, clutching it tightly as you felt Vash squeeze your hand in return, as though confirming the plan with you one final time as you waited for his countdown.

"One..."

You felt your heartbeat in your ears as you prepared to sprint with Vash as fast as possible to get the two of you to safety.

"Two..."

The cries of the angry patrons were growing louder, all of them undoubtedly approaching the bar in midst of their fight, and you flinched again as another glass struck the bar near your head, a piece of broken glass flying free and striking your cheek.

"Three!"

Without a second of hesitation, Vash bolted forwards and away from the bar with your hand gripped tightly in his, the two of you sprinting as fast as you could to get to safety. You felt Vash tug your arm hard so you followed him, and you watched him flinch as a glass was thrown and suddenly struck the wall where his head had been merely a moment prior.

"Go, (Y/N)! Go!"

Vash quickly pushed you ahead of him, a yelp escaping you he promptly shoved you through an open saloon window. You tumbled to the ground rather ungracefully, groaning as you landed on your back, the wind getting knocked out of you. However, after a couple seconds of recovery, you realized that Vash hadn't followed you.

"Damn it!"

You cursed as you quickly scrambled to your feet, glancing through the window you had just been pushed out of only to see Vash trying to diffuse the situation and protect the other townsfolk.

"Come on, guys! Can't we figure this out in a way that doesn't involve violence?"

You watched Vash promptly dodge a glass bottle that was thrown at his head after that statement, his smile not even faltering for a moment.

"Now, now, that's not very nice!" You heard Vash say almost playfully, a soft chuckle coming out of him, "Come on, guys, you're scaring all the other nice folks. Why don't you guys go outside, talk it out, maybe drink some water?"

Vash's kindhearted suggestions were met with some choice rude words, angry hisses and yells of anger from the drunken patrons, who you could tell were beginning to turn on Vash rather than each other, now. You wanted to yell at him to shut up, to stop being so... so... good, and to get the hell out of there. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest frantically as you realize just how much danger Vash was putting himself in at that moment.

"Vash..." You found yourself whispering nervously under your breath, to nobody in particular, as your gaze remained glued to your best friend.

You suddenly lost sight of Vash from your window as he approached the drunken patrons, and a couple seconds later, you heard a yelp from Vash followed by a loud crashing sound. Then, the sound of several heavy blows and another loud crashing sound, as well as the sound of glass shattering. Your heart all but stopped in your chest as your mind began to go into overdrive, picturing all the things that might've been happening then and there. You were a literal second away from diving back into the saloon from the same window Vash shoved you out of when the saloon door slammed open and all the drunken patrons were promptly thrown out into the street.

As soon as you realized the instigators were no longer a threat, you sprinted back into the saloon, desperately looking around for your best friend and praying you would find him in once piece. Thankfully, to your relief, you saw Vash helping some of the other patrons who had been hiding behind the bar to their feet, smiling comfortingly at them all. Many of them thanked him profusely, some shaking his hand and others even patting his back or hugging him.

Out of nowhere, a bunch of emotions shot through you. Anger. Frustration. Fear. Despair. Relief. Happiness. You didn't know exactly what you were feeling, and you weren't given time to figure it out as Vash's gaze fell on you and his blue eyes widened behind his round, oversized yellow lenses.

"(Y/N)!"

Vash dashed over to where you were standing, and before you could so much as open your mouth, his arms were wrapping around you and he was pulling you into a tight hug, a clear sigh of relief escaping him. Your emotions continued to swirl within your chest as your face pressed against Vash's chest, your own arms coming up to wrap around him in return in a tight embrace - at least he was safe.

"Your cheek..." You heard Vash say gently, both his tone and the expression on his face worried as he looked down at you, his eyebrows furrowed and his hand coming up to gently touch your cheek.

As he touched it, you winced slightly as a stinging sensation suddenly registered - the piece of glass that struck you earlier must've cut you.

"Don't worry about me. It's no big deal, I can patch it up easily," You brushed Vash off, your eyes sweeping over him from head to toe, frantically searching him for any signs of injury from the skirmish, "Are you alright, though?"

"I'm right as rain!" Vash replied, chuckling sheepishly as his hand came up to rub the back of his neck.

You could suddenly feel the bottled up anger beginning to boil inside you as you glared at Vash, hissing under your breath at him, "What the hell were you thinking?! Y-You... you shove me out a window, and then you try to stop the fight yourself?! Vash, are you crazy?! You're so goddamned lucky you're not hurt, or I would've-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Vash immediately held his hands up in surrender, his expression a mixture of sheepishness, guilt, and nervousness, "I didn't mean to shove you that hard. I just... I wanted you to be safe."

The way Vash's voice fell as he spoke those last words, becoming quiet and serious as he looked at you, let you know that he was being genuine in his apology. You couldn't help but feel your heart flutter in your chest at Vash's concern for you, and despite your irritation and worry for the man known at the Humanoid Typhoon, you couldn't bring yourself to stay mad at him. He held your heart entirely in the palms of his hands without even knowing it.

"You're way stronger than any human, Stampede. Be a little gentler next time you're shoving me out a window to safety, alright?" You grumbled instead, shooting Vash a look that immediately told him your words held no heat.

The smile that Vash gave you in response was borderline blinding, and you couldn't help but find yourself smiling, too. It wasn't your fault - Vash's smile was just extremely contagious.

"I really am sorry, (Y/N)," Vash said more quietly, so only you could hear him. He let out a heavy sigh as his fingertips just barely grazed over your injured cheek, and you could practically sense the guilt radiating off of him as he gazed at the cut on your face.

"It's okay, Vash," You replied, your voice soft as you took his hand into yours and moved it away from your face, "This wasn't your fault. Plus, I got lucky. A tiny cut on my cheek is within my healing skills to handle."

The grin you gave Vash at your joke made him chuckle softly, relieving him of some of the guilt he had sitting in his chest. He knew very well that you were a very capable healer, one who had spent many years studying how to help people with various illnesses and injuries and one who had patched him up more times than he could count. Yet, still, Vash couldn't help but worry for you a bit. He always worried for you. How could he not, when you were nothing short of everything to him?

"If you say so, O Wise Healer!" Vash responded, quickly regaining his goofy, outgoing persona and bowing to you in an exaggerated gesture that made you sigh in playful exasperation and nudge him hard.

"Yeah, yeah, enough of that, Stampede. You're embarrassing me in front of the townsfolk," You mumbled half-heartedly, your cheeks heating up as you tried to stifle a laugh, "We should get back to the inn. I need to clean this up."

You tap your cheek and wince at the gentle sting from the cut, and Vash immediately nodded before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, "Right! Let's go."

With that, the two of you set out, making your ways back to the inn where the two of you had been staying during your stay in town. However, as the two of you walked through the town roads, you began to notice, out of the corner of your eye, a tenseness in Vash's body as he walked. You could even make out a wince here or there when he moved his body in a specific way, and that confirmed your suspicion - Vash hadn't come out of the conflict unscathed.

"Where are you hurt?" You asked suddenly, your voice low and firm.

You watched as Vash's eyes widened as he looked at you, and as he opened his mouth to contradict you and brush off your concerns, you immediately cut him off, your anger bursting forward as you snapped, "Don't you dare say you're fine, Vash. I can see you wincing and you trying not to move your body specific ways. You only do that when you're injured."

Vash immediately closed his mouth, his lips pressing into a thin line and his blue eyes betraying the guilt and shame he was feeling at being discovered.

Knowing better than to butt heads with you, Vash simply gave in and whispered quietly, bowing his head and looking like a child having been caught causing mischief, "My right side. One of the patrons had a broken glass bottle, they caught me on the upswing. It doesn't feel too deep, but it'll likely still need stitches."

You felt your anger spike, but rather than yelling at Vash in the middle of some small town with a bunch of strangers watching you, you held your tongue and continued to walk towards the inn without so much as a word of acknowledgement. However, as you replayed the incident over and over again in your mind, the sounds of Vash's yelp and the blows and the screaming of the fight you couldn't witness echoing in your brain, anger gave way to fear. Complete, overwhelming fear.

'Vash could've died today and I wouldn't have known. I would've been too late,' You thought to yourself, your heart squeezing painfully in your chest as you forced the images your mind had conjured out as best you could. 'He could've died protecting others and I would've been unable to save him or help him.'

Like an endless hurricane, your fear drove your anger, which in turn worsened your fear of losing Vash someday because he was too selfless and believed he wasn't worthy of aid. Your mind became a storm, and you were completely lost to it as you and Vash walked back to the inn.

Vash felt himself beginning to sweat nervously as you walked silently by his side, not uttering so much as a single word about his injury. Usually, you would yell at him or scold him immediately, your face gaining colour as you told him off for being reckless and too self-sacrificing and thoughtless, etc. etc. as you worked on patching him up. But now... you hadn't spoken a single word, which absolutely terrified Vash. And scarier still, your face had become a mask of cool indifference, giving no insight as to your true feelings.

"(Y/N)... I'm really sorry," Vash spoke up softly, keeping pace with you as you both approached the inn, his heart sinking in his chest as you didn't even bother acknowledging his apology.

Instead, you continued walking silently until you got to your shared room, and once you were both in the room, you closed the door behind Vash, locked it, and went to your bag to fish out your healing kit.

"(Y/N)?..."

Vash's voice was quiet and filled with concern, although you couldn't tell if the concern was for you or for himself. You looked up at him, and your heart twisted at the sight of Vash looking a lot like a kicked puppy. His big, blue eyes were wide and filled with worry and pleading, as if begging you to say something to him, and despite his height, his shoulders slouched and made him seem... small. Vulnerable. It hurt your heart to see him looking like that, but you couldn't bring yourself to address it due to still-swirling storm of emotions in your mind.

"Move your shirt so I can get to your injury," You said, your voice level and betraying nothing of the emotional torment inside your head, not sparing Vash another glance as you began preparing your equipment to tend to his wound, setting things down on one of the bedside tables with practiced routine and precision.

Vash sighed heavily as he watched you prepare your healing equipment, and he winced as he shifted slowly to take his turtleneck off, wriggling out of it to allow you access to his wound as he sat on a chair, waiting for you to begin your work. He couldn't help but feel extremely guilty for not telling you upfront that he had been injured, and every second that you spent silent was a second that made Vash's heart hurt a little bit more.

You had been Vash's best friend for many years, and you knew and understood him better than anybody else. You understood how he operated, how he thought, how he acted and reacted, and you had accepted him without question, faults and all. You were always there by his side, through thick and thin, to comfort him and support him and yes, even patch him up from time to time. Well, maybe more often than just time to time. Despite it all, though, you never once gave up on him. The two of you had always been a team. But now...

'Maybe this is it,' Vash thought to himself mournfully, his heart aching in his chest, 'Maybe I've finally gone too far and pushed (Y/N) away, too.'

"This first part will hurt."

Your voice snapped Vash out of his self-loathing for a moment, and he gazed down at that neutral mask you kept on your face as you explained to him what you were going to do, your eyes trained on the wound on his torso. To his surprise, you had already mended your own cheek - when did you even do that?

"I'll inject a local anesthetic into your skin around the slash, and then I'll stitch it up properly. You shouldn't feel anything but pressure and slight tugging once the anesthetic kicks in."

Your voice didn't so much as wobble even once, and it scared Vash. He had seen you go into your "healing mode", as he affectionately referred to it, many times in the past, but it had never been directed at him. This cool indifference was terrifying to him, because for the first time in a long time, he had no way to gauge what you were thinking or feeling. You had shut him out completely.

And Vash hated it. He hated every second of it.

"Thank you for taking care of me, (Y/N)." Vash's voice was quiet, so quiet you almost didn't hear him as you began your work, injecting the anesthetic, "I don't deserve you."

However, instead of your usual "Shut up!" or "Don't say that!" or "Enough of that!" responses whenever he said something like that, Vash was met with complete silence. You didn't acknowledge his statement, instead laser-focused on adequately numbing him before starting the tricky act of stitching his wound.

Upon assessment, the slash wound wasn't deep, just as Vash had told you, but it was decently long and definitely required stitches. Once the anesthetic had a couple moments to set in, you poked Vash with a needle near the edge of the wound.

"Feel anything?"

Vash just shook his head, watching you carefully as you nodded in response, your face still a mask of complete neutrality.

"I'm going to start the stitches now. Stay as still as possible."

Vash took a deep breath and stilled himself as best as he could, allowing you to start your work. True to your word, he felt no pain as you patched him up, but rather pressure and tugging as you tied off stitch after stitch. Your work was done slowly, meticulously, but as your hands worked, your mind spiraled out of control.

'The self-sacrificing idiot won't ever stop. Why won't he stop?'

'How many times has he gotten hurt without telling me?'

'How many more times will I patch him up before he dies?'

'Will I lose him soon?'

'Why, Vash? Why?'

'Please, Vash, don't go. Don't go. Stop this, please...'

'Stay with me. Please, Vash. Stay.'

While your mind spiraled, Vash sat on the chair silently as you worked, lost in his own thoughts and emotions. He couldn't shake the deep-seated feeling of guilt for lying to you about him being alright, and although your mask of indifference gave him no indication of your current thoughts and feelings, you hadn't been able to hide a flash of hurt before your mask went up. Just that split second had been enough to make Vash feel like a knife had been driven into his chest. He had never wanted to hurt you. That was never his intention. He loved you far too much to even think of hurting you, and yet, he still had. He knew lying to you hadn't been a good idea, but he did it to buy you peace of mind, even if only for a moment.

But now... with you closed off and feeling so far away from him, Vash regretted it more than ever, the fear of losing you for good spreading like wildfire through him. He should've just told you and been upfront about being hurt. He owed you that much, especially given that you'd always stuck by his side and never once complained about patching him up, even though you always scolded him about getting hurt afterwards.

"(Y/N)?" Vash's voice was small and shaky as he spoke, and he took a deep breath as he tried to keep his emotions from running wild as he tried to reach out to you, to get past your mask once more, "(Y/N), listen, I-... I'm... I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I should've told you that I was hurt immediately, I don't know why I didn't, I guess I just... I thought-"

Vash's words died on his lips the moment he looked down at your face, his eyes widening and his heart shattering at the sight of tears streaking silently down your face as you diligently continued your work. Your mask had disappeared and the fear, the anger and the sadness you felt were all on display for all to see. How long had you been crying for?

"(Y/N)..."

Vash's voice was gentle and filled with concern for you as he turned to look at you, his hands taking your own into his and holding them close to his chest. He could feel your hands shaking as he held them, and he knew that you were unable to continue your work right now, too shaken by everything to keep going. Sure enough, you seemed to realize this yourself as you pulled back from him and put down your tools on the table next to you before promptly dissolving into full-blown sobs, your hands coming up to cover your face.

"(Y/N)!"

Vash immediately shifted and kneeled down so he was level with you, pulling you into his arms without hesitation and holding you close to his bare chest as tears welled in his own eyes. His heart completely broke as you sobbed against him desperately, your cries so filled with pain that it physically hurt Vash to hear them.

Had you been feeling this pain the whole time you were stitching him up? No... there was no way this pain was from just today. You must've been feeling this way for a long, long time and just never told him, likely for the same reason he hadn't told you he was hurt - to spare him the worry.

"Oh, (Y/N)... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!"

Vash found himself beginning to sob with you, the guilt of being the reason for your pain becoming too overwhelming as he held you close. All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms and beg and plead for your forgiveness and apologize to you over and over again until you understood just how sorry he was. He did this to you. Your pain was his fault.

The moment Vash had said your name in that worried and gentle tone, all the walls you had put up to try and do your job came crashing down as you began to sob, your fear and anger and sadness overwhelming you completely. You had felt Vash's arms pulling you into his warm and comforting embrace, and you found yourself clutching onto him with desperate need, your fingers digging into his skin as you tried to calm yourself down by reassuring yourself that he was still there. Vash was still there, still alive, and you were patching him up.

But as soon as you heard Vash's tearful apology, that set you off in another round of broken sobs, burrowing into his embrace and just holding onto him as best as you could, wanting nothing more than to just stay there indefinitely, stay in this moment where both you and Vash were safe and alive together and nobody could hurt either of you.

Eventually, you managed to calm yourself enough to pull yourself back together into one piece and to finish your task of stitching Vash's wound, pulling away from him and wiping your face with your hands. Vash himself was still trembling as you pulled away, his face stained from his tears, his beautiful blue eyes reddened and swollen and still filled with pain.

He looked at you desperately as you pulled away, as if pleading with you not to let go of him just yet, and you sniffled pitifully in response, "I-I have to finish... stitching you up. I-I can't... leave you like this."

That alone made Vash dissolve into tears again - here you were, in the middle of a breakdown because of all the fear and anger and sadness he had caused you, and yet you pulled yourself together so you could continue to take care of him regardless of the pain you felt. Tears began to spill down his cheeks once more as you said that, and he looked down in shame as sobs escaped him.

Despite how much your heart hurt from the fear of potentially losing Vash, seeing him cry before you somehow hurt worse. You found yourself now being the one pulling him into your arms, running your fingers gently through his hair and letting your fingertips drag over his scalp to calm him as he wept into you.

"Shh... shh..." You whispered to Vash gently, your own voice still thick from your tears, "It's alright, Vash. I... I have to move fast, before the anesthetic wears off. Okay?"

As you pulled away, Vash restrained himself from clutching onto you, instead nodding and wiping his face as he sat back on the chair, allowing you to finish up your work despite his whole body trembling.

With a deep, calming breath, you centered yourself and separated yourself as best as you could from every emotion that was coursing through you. You left your emotions behind for as long as possible as you picked your needle and medical thread back up and continued your stitching, throwing a couple more stitches before finishing up. Then, you gently applied a healing balm to the newly-stitched wound and covered it with a dressing, applied with a gentle yet firm touch.

Once you were done, you shakily stood from where you were sat on the ground, brushing your hands off and packing up your healing kit and trying to figure out how you were going to explain yourself to Vash. Yet, when you turned to look at him, you found Vash hunched over as he sat in the chair, his face in his hands as he propped his arms up on his knees, his whole body still shaking. You could hear quiet sniffles and broken sobs escaping him, and it broke your heart all over again. It was clear the last thing he needed right now was an explanation.

Before you could stop yourself, you walked over and kneeled down in front of Vash, pulling him into your arms and hugging him close. Immediately, as if seeking out his lifeline, Vash reached out and clutched onto you, wanting nothing but to keep you in his arms for the rest of eternity.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N), 'm sorry... 'm sorry, (Y/N)," Vash sobbed on repeat, and all you could do was squeeze him tightly and press a kiss to the side of his head as he sobbed against you.

You shushed him gently and continued running your fingers through his hair soothingly like you had done before.

"It's alright, Vash. It's alright. Don't apologize... I should be apologizing to you," You whispered to him gently, your emotions coming under control as you focused on supporting the man in your embrace. "I shut you out, and I'm sorry, Vash. I just... I didn't know what else to do."

Hearing you apologizing to him for doing the only thing you could to cope with your pain made Vash feel like somebody was tearing his heart from his chest and crushing it slowly. He fought to keep him emotions from spiraling completely out of control, instead letting out a soft whimper as he hugged you tighter, shaking his head.

"N-No... It's my fault. I should've told you. I should've told you I was hurt instead of hiding it, and I'm... I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I didn't want to make you cry. I didn't want to hurt you, I-... I never wanted to hurt you. It's all my fault."

Vash's voice was filled with despair and you could feel how genuine each and every word he said was, how desperately he wanted you to understand how sorry he was for what he had done and how much he wanted your forgiveness. How badly he wished he could repent for the damage he had done to you.

"I'm scared, Vash."

Your words began to spill forward as tears slipped down your cheeks once more. You pulled away from Vash, looking up at him with fear obvious in your eyes.

"I'm scared that one of these days, you're going to use yourself as a shield and get hurt badly and you won't tell me. And because of that, you'll die. I'm scared because every time I lose sight of you in a fight, I don't know if it's the last time I'll ever see you alive. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you because you were too good and too self-sacrificing and you wanted to save everybody and you wanted to grant me a moment of peace. Losing you isn't worth a second of peace because if I lose you, I'm going to lose the only thing in this world that matters and makes sense to me, Vash. If I lose you, I'm going to lose the one person who brings me happiness and peace. If I lose you... I'm going to lose my home."

Vash's eyes widened and his heart lurched in his chest as your feelings poured forward, and despite you not explicitly saying those three little words, he could feel them in every single sentiment you expressed. As if those three words were the only thing you were telling him, over and over again.

"I'm scared because every time I lose sight of you in a fight, I don't know if it's the last time I'll ever see you alive."

I love you.

"If I lose you, I'm going to lose the one person who brings me happiness and peace."

I love you.

"If I lose you... I'm going to lose my home."

I love you, Vash.

When Vash didn't answer you, you inhaled shakily and continued, sniffling and wiping your face as you tried to keep calm.

"I know there were innocent people involved, Vash. I know that. And I know you always want to save everybody. But... you count, Vash. When you get hurt, it counts, because despite what you think of yourself, you're innocent, too. And if you keep this up, eventually, you won't be around anymore to protect people. Your body, though extraordinary, can only take so much damage and I can only fix so much. I can't... I can't bear to think of what'll happen if I can't help you, Vash. I don't even want to imagine it."

By the time you finished your rambling, you were fully in tears again, despite your best efforts. Your hands kept wiping your cheeks, but to no avail, and your whole body was shaking as you sobbed softly. Even though you were crying, part of you felt better now that your fears were finally out in the open, no longer hidden or kept secret.

As you sat there, sobbing in front of him as you told Vash how afraid you were of losing him, his heart swelled and cracked in tandem for you. You worried for him. You were scared for him. Your pain came from the care and affection you held for him and him alone. A warm arm and a cool arm both wrapped around you and pulled you back in against a familiar, warm and firm chest, and you felt a gentle kiss being pressed to your forehead before Vash nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. Though his cheeks were still stained, his tears had stopped as he held you close once more, wanting to never let you go ever again.

"I love you, (Y/N)."

There they were. Those words he had never spoken aloud to anybody else in his entire existence. And yet, as he spoke them aloud, Vash knew that his words were never truer than they were in that moment. He loved you. More than anything else in this world, he loved you. You were everything to him, and the pain he felt when you wept in his arms was something he never wanted to feel ever again. He'd been shot, stabbed, burned and injured a million different ways, and he would take any of those a hundred times over seeing you cry because of him.

"I love you, (Y/N). I'm... I'm sorry I hurt you. I just... I didn't want you worrying about me. I figured that... if I didn't tell you, I was sparing you. I was protecting you from the pain you feel when somebody you care for gets hurt. But I didn't realize that in doing that, I was hurting you worse than I would've if I'd just told you. I promise that I'll try to be more careful, (Y/N), because I don't want to lose you, either. I promise I'll try for you."

His flesh-and-blood hand came up to cup the back of your head, gently stroking your hair as he spoke to you, his voice low and gentle as he explained his actions to you in return. You deserved to understand why he did what he did, and that he genuinely hadn't intended to hurt you.

Yet, not a single word he spoke really stuck in your brain as the words he spoke initially echoed loudly in your mind.

I love you, (Y/N).

He loved you. He loved you! Your heart sang in your chest at the revelation, and when you looked up at Vash's face, all sound in the world fell away, the only thing you could hear being the thrumming of your heartbeat in your ears. You took in every detail of his face; his beautiful and expressive blue eyes, swollen from his tears, his blonde hair, the mole under his left eye, the curve of his lips, his tear-stained cheeks, the furrowing of his eyebrows, the edge of his jaw, the slope of his nose, every tiny piece of him that you committed to memory.

"(Y/N)?"

"I love you, Vash."

You whispered it so softly that at first, Vash wasn't sure if he'd heard you right. But as you gazed at him, your eyes glistening, Vash realized he hadn't misheard you, his own eyes widening and his heart thundering in his chest.

Neither of you are sure which one of you leaned in first, or if both of you leaned in in tandem, but soon, soft lips pressed against your own in a gentle, tender and loving kiss, sending shivers down your back and making your heart feel ready to burst. You found your fingers burying themselves into Vash's hair as you pulled him closer to you, wishing to be as close to him as you possibly could be. You felt Vash's arms squeeze you a bit tighter, pressing you against him with a bit more force, making it clear that he, too, wanted you closer to him.

When the two of you broke away, both of your faces flushed and your hearts racing, you couldn't help but smile at Vash, who smiled back just as warmly and as lovingly. His hand came up to cup your cheek gently as he leaned down to kiss you again briefly before pulling away.

"I love you, Mayfly."

There was no hesitation in Vash's voice as he said it.

"I love you, too, Vash," You smiled up at him warmly, blushing at his use of a term of endearment before chuckling softly. "That being said, you seriously need to stop using yourself as a shield. If you ever get hurt again and don't tell me, I'll drag you somewhere safe and then wring your neck, Stampede. No matter how much I love you or how many other people are in danger. Understood?"

That drew a genuine laugh from Vash, who hugged you tightly to him once more and kissed your temple gently before letting his cheek rest against the top of your head.

"Of course. I'd expect no less from you, Mayfly."

"You'd better," You grumbled in response, burrowing further into his arms and sighing softly, allowing yourself to finally relax, letting go of the fear and the anger and sadness you had been feeling.

After a couple moments, you pulled away from Vash and stood up, which caused Vash to whine immediately at the loss of you and your embrace.

"(Y/NNNNN)..."

You couldn't help but giggle softly at the puppy dog eyes Vash was giving you, his pout making your heart flutter in your chest as you rolled your eyes at him playfully.

"Calm down, Stampede. I promise we can cuddle all night, okay? You need to get into bed first, though, so we don't reopen your wound or anything, okay?"

As soon as you mentioned cuddles, Vash perked up and smiled at you, making you laugh softly. You watched over him as he stood up from the chair he'd been sitting on while you'd stitched him up, and despite knowing he could do it on his own, you couldn't help but take Vash's arm in your own and support him as he moved to the bed and sat down slowly.

Vash winced slightly as he laid back on the bed, the stitches pulling and the wound aching, but as soon as his head hit the pillow, his exhaustion hit him. If it weren't for you puttering around the room, he likely already would've been fallen asleep.

"Hang on, love."

Your gentle voice reached Vash's ear and he watched sleepily as you took off his boots and put them down next to the bed.

"You don't need to-" Vash tried to argue quietly, only for you to shut him down immediately.

"You're exhausted, love. Just let me take care of you, okay?"

Vash's gaze was filled with warmth, affection and love as he smiled sleepily at you and mumbled in response, "You're too good for me, Mayfly. Thank you."

"Oh, shut up."

Ah, there was the you Vash knew well. He couldn't help but smile as his tiredness began to take over.

After a couple minutes, the room went dark as you turned out the lights and you slowly got into bed next to Vash, ensuring to lay next to his uninjured side. Your head rested on the same pillow, and you nuzzled your face into his neck as Vash slowly placed his arm around your waist and pulled you gently into him. You could feel his nose gently resting in your hair as he took a deep breath, inhaling your familiar scent and allowing your presence to comfort, calm and soothe him.

"We're not done talking about this. You know that, right, Vash?" You asked quietly, looking at the man you loved carefully.

Vash simply nodded and looked you in the eyes as he answered softly, "I know, Mayfly. We still have a lot to discuss. But for now, I'm just going to hold you. You're all I need in my life, (Y/N)."

And he was all you needed, too.

[isawjamfirst]

smthg smthg post-julai vashwood smthg smthg inspired by the fic “come and see” by avoidingavoidance on ao3

[1spooky2me]

Vash wood brainrot because I say so

What if they all just took a nap together?

Smooches💕

If someone doesn’t make me fan fiction based on these doodles I will not show you guys what happens ✨after✨ the smooches. I will eat the damn files.

someone actually made me fanfiction holy shit, art coming soon I guess:

(made by @vesswastaken)

[raepliica]

protecting each other

[nexadarling]

Trigun Fics

Here I am compiling all my fav Trigun fics, from heart wrenching to fluffy, and everything in-between. Mostly Vashwood! This is a living document and is updated regularly ^.^

(Explicit fic recs are listed separately due to link limitations in Tumblr posts)

Organized by rating > word count > status. Any fic that features "+" after the word count is on-going/uncompleted. As they finish, I will add the final word count.

Please tag an author if I haven't! I tried to find them all, but there are a couple I couldn't/wasn't sure about

Special shoutout to the YAT and Pen Pal Discords for providing so many of these (and writing several)

Read the tags, you know how it goes! And feel free to leave your own recs as well!

Waiting for me (Waiting for you) by @mariadperiad20 - 8k; Vashwood; Not Rated;Trimax/98; Soulmate AU; The Eye of Michael took Wolfwood's soulmate mark, but they can't take his soulmate; Fuck, god, okay... wow I had so many emotions reading this?? Wolfwood's self-hatred is piloting this whole thing he has so many feelings and he thinks Vash deserves so much better than him GOD

sandgrouse by Evercovi - 4k; Vashwood; G; 98 verse I think? Could also be early Trimax; Vash's birthday is coming up and Wolfwood is stressed about getting him the perfect present; They're so stupid! They're so cute!! The author's note at the end killed me in one sentence!!!!

Polyguns Presentation Night! by WateredMyCrops ( @what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 7k; Polygun; G; Modern AU; Milly notices her partners are shy about talking about things they love, so she sets up a surprise presentation night for them

kindergarten crush by @jumpinginmuddypuddles - 12k; Vashwood; G; Modern AU; Kindergarten Teacher Vash; Wolfwood's little brother (Livio) is in Vash's class and oh no the teacher is really cute

a promise or a threat by  @beelzebby666 - >1k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Super short, but an exploration of a visceral love and trust between Wolfwood and Vash; Wolfwood wouldn't stop Vash from hurting him, but Vash never would

your touch, your glance, your hand by @procrastinating-bookworm - 1k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; much needed comfort for Wolfwood, on account of the hell his wrist goes through carrying that stupid cross

Miracles and Other Blunders of Providence by @aboxthecolourofheartache - 1k; Gen; T; Tristamp; Vash is delirious after Nai cuts off his arm, and Luida tries to comfort him; whump

the secret about that boy by puphf - 1k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU- College; You ever sit in your college class, bored, and think "huh wouldn't it be funny if there was a mind reader in here?" Vash does that, except his crush is the one who can read minds; this is tragically short, but it's so cute and silly I had to add it

Marked by Dozycerberus - 1k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; A short look into Wolfwood's mark from the Eye of Michael and his relation to it in different Trigun canons

hold you through the night until you smile by @fionanotjuliet - 2k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; wing grooming ❤️❤️

Never Let Me Go by Puffls ( @whimsicmimic) - 2k; Vashwood; T; Transistor AU; rewrite of the opening cut scene of the game Transistor; Vash is a singer, Wolfwood is his body guard; Wolfwood ends up in the Punisher; no I don't know how it works, yes I think it's cool as fuck; (edit: I have now played Transistor and can confidently say not only do you have to read this, you should also play Transistor for maximum emotion)

built to die here by @jes12321 - 2k; Vashwood; T; Soulmate AU; Soulmate worries show up on your skin. Vash doesn't think he deserves his soulmate

oceans to drown in by @hashtagcaneven - 2k; Stryfewood; T; Pirate AU; Captain Meryl challenges Wolfwood to a sword fight to earn a place on her ship, the most sexually charged sword fight follows; Vash is a siren in this which isn't super important to the plot but it is important to me; Kuro you have the honor of being the only Stryfewood fic on this list lol

you know i tell the truth (we are just the same) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 2k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; After the Ark, Vash and Wolfwood talk about what they've been through to become what they are. Or, you know, as much as they talk about anything; I am shaking these two and begging through tears for them to get their shit together just once

Sanctuary by @thechaoscryptid - 2k; Vashwood; T; Tristamp; T4T; Vash knows the violence that has created Wolfwood, but he also sees the care and gentleness of Nicholas; Pleeaasseeee they're so soft here, taking care of each other even though things suck I fucking love them

in the afterglow of an isolated heart by the14thmusician - 3k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; touch-starved Vash gets emotional after an unexpected hug, Wolfwood talks him through it

the heaviness we've known by CosmicJourney ( @cosmictapestry) - 3k; Gen; T; Tristamp; Brad fixes Vash up after the events of the sandsteamer and tries to do right by his kid; I'm not gonna lie, this one hurts. It fucking hurts a lot and it doesn't get better at the end, but it's still filled with such sweetness. Just, watching someone you consider your son be Vash the Stampede is never going to be easy

your pride like water in your lungs (drowns all the words it stole) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 3k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Wolfwood helps Vash deal with his phantom limb pain; please god there is much emotion in this tiny little fic Vash why are you like that please just kiss the man!!!!!

Straight Edge of Intimacy by @bendycxmet - 3k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Wolfwood gets them run out of a town, and Vash asks him to help him shave to make it up to him; The tension, the pining... the not-so-casual intimacy of shaving someone's face... I am eating this Whole

i am a diamond on the inside (just add the pressure) by @sascake - 4k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; Soulmate AU; tattoos show up on your soulmate, Wolfwood has A Lot, Vash kind of loves it

i went too far (when I was begging on my knees) by @flowercitti - 4k; Vashwood; T; reincarnation through the different Trigun versions; soulmates; this is beautifully poetic and achingly sad

walking in your landscape by @pushclouds - 4k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; Vash takes a vacation trip to a farm and meets cowboy Wolfwood

tell me why your hands are cold (show me how) by desertblooms - 4k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Sick fic; Whump for both of them honestly; Vash uses too much power at once and makes himself dangerously sick, Wolfwood is left to desperately try to keep him alive; This hurts, the way that Wolfwood needs Vash is so obvious in every one of his actions

proximity by @corvidrogue - 5k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Touch-starved Vash has trouble accepting physical affection from anyone but Wolfwood

touch me like nobody else does (lovely) by @flowercitti - 5k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Vash tries to get rid of his wings, Wolfwood grooms them for him; pretty big self harm cw for the beginning of this

Guardian Angel by @hypermoyashi - 5k; Vashwood; T; Post-Trimax; A year after the events of Trimax, Vash hears Wolfwood's voice; Let this fic be known as how to cry in less than 5k; this is very bittersweet, but it is precious and so worth a read

not to me, not if it's you by tickyicky - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Wolfwood struggles to help Vash through the aftermath of being run out of a town he tried to help

but to me, the comet brings no fear (no, i gaze joyfully) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax/Post-Trimax; When a comet comes across the sky once every 50 years, it is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for most people. For Vash, it is a reminder; When I tell you I cried, that I sobbed reading this I am being so fucking serious. Trai does such a wonderful job exploring grief and mourning and Vash's anger and loneliness; and it's Vashwood, but it's not really about them, it's about so much more and anyway I'm gonna go lay down and cry into a pillow thanks

Non-Threatening Touch by saturninesunset - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Touch-starved; Wolfwood loses track of where they stand with each other when they start sharing a bed to help with nightmares. Vash crosses some lines; This is so cute????? I'm screaming???? All of my ailments have been fixed pls shove this in your face immediately

i have a heart made for taking flight by corvidcaper ( @not-miss-marple) - 8k; Vashwood; T; 5+1; Creature Vash; Vash accidentally courts Wolfwood like a bird. It takes them a while to figure out; PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE

to god, who i hate so much by @skittidyne - 9k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; A close call forces some feelings into the open in a way that nobody involved is ready for; God, jesus fucking christ, this one is all about the vicious co-dependency of Vashwood and it hurts and they love each other so fucking bad; maybe have some fluff prepared to read after this one

lost in the sugar rush by @pushclouds - 10k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - Coffee shop; Wolfwood falls for the cute barista; Nai and Wolfwood have coffee-based standoffs; I was giggling to myself through this whole thing

absol(utely) obsessed by @earlgay-milktea - 11k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Vash is president of the Pokemon society, Livio is a huge Pokemon nerd, and no one here is normal; this is pure silly, goofy fun and it made me smile so much. They're so stupid I hate them. They deserve the world

whose woods these are (i think i know) by intimatopia ( @ciaran) - 13k; Vashwood; T; Fairytale AU; Prince Wolfwood; Suspiciously magical(?) Vash; Vash runs from what he wants as per usual, Wolfwood just wants to know he'll come back

Cheap and Cheerful by AllegedlyAnnie ( @niftyanswersorryiasked) - 13k; Vashwood; T; AU but still on NML; Vash answers a help-wanted ad for an orphanage in need of a handyman, Wolfwood sees through his bullshit in every universe; this might be the most 98/Trimax characterization I've read so far. Their banter is perfect!!!

Sentido by @orcelito - 19k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Vash's relationship with each of his senses, as an inhuman Plant with incredibly advanced senses. Spoiler, it's not always pleasant

ghosting by @orcelito - 22k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - early 2000s; T4T; Vash owns a B&B that he's pretty sure is haunted, Milly and Meryl convince Wolfwood to exorcise the ghost for him. Wolfwood is not an exorcist; I injected this directly into my bone marrow actually; Wolfwood and Vash are so outrageously down bad for each other, I love them; This also deals beautifully with just the grieving process in general. I wanna give Vash such a huge hug

Strap the Wing to Me, Death Trap Clad Happily by Rayawastaken - 24k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; pure 100% hurt/comfort centered around Vash's wings and general eldritch horror-ness

Malediction by @revenantpoet - 28k; Vashwood; T; Mythology AU; Sun-god Wolfwood; Moon-god Vash; Wolfwood finds a poor creature locked away, and something about it tugs at him; Hell yeah sun god Wolfwood!!!! He's so warm and caring he gets to be the sun!!!!; This is genuinely so beautiful and the world building is just!!! So lovely!!!!

ritornello by allandnothing - 29k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Demi Vash; Seeing Vash renders Wolfwood entirely useless, Livio makes fun of him for it (that's it that's the fic); the tone and humor of this had me on the fucking floor. Might be a new comfort fic

Calendula by @a-bi-disaster-writing - 32k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Vash works at the greenhouse, Wolfwood works at the college daycare. He takes a tiny Rollo to visit the greenhouse and promptly falls in love

with you, the sun rises slowly by @beesinspades - 33k; Vashwood; T;  Modern AU; Wolfwood's cute neighbor loses his apartment to a fire, so he spontaneously offers to let him stay at his place while the damage is repaired; Asexual Vash!! I really like how the author handled Vash's sexuality here, and especially Wolfwood's reaction to it. It felt real (Beelio I love your ace Vash tysm)

an odious damned lie by @riverenne - 47k; Gen with a heavy splash of Vashwood at the end; T; His Dark Materials/The Golden Compass x Trigun AU; Alternate Timeline AU; Takes place on NML, roughly in the (altered) Tristamp timeline; Good GOD I cannot possibly recommend this enough! The writing is beautiful, the daemons are perfect, and the exploration into the characters and their relationships is so!!! Amazing!!! Read it, just read it, please

Gunsmoke - A Coffee Shop/Mafia AU by evil_moo_bunny - 13k+; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - Coffee shop; Vash works at a coffee shop, Wolfwood works for redacted, Meryl and Milly work also redacted at the coffee shop with Vash, everyone has secrets, and Milly is a wonderful matchmaker; This is a series, but I didn't want to link both works separately

if you're looking for a sign: this is it by @elemmacil - 33k+; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; "Nicholas D. Wolfwood has taken over sign duty for Saint Michael’s. Across the street, Vash Saverem is giving out free hugs."; This is so freaking funny and cute and I am frothing at the mouth for more of it

the monster in the ruins of ship five by @beesinspades - 48k+; Vashwood; T; Tristamp; Creature Vash; After Julai, Wolfwood searches for Vash. What he finds is a creature in the shell of a spaceship; VASH GETS THE ZOOMIES; this version of creature Vash is so delightful, Wolfwood's inner monologue is perfect, Sheryl and Lina are The Best

whispers (of the damned) by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 2k; Vashwood; M; this is just... a Moment of the two of them being so tired but so in love and glad to have not lost each other yet again

all the blood that you still owe by @procrastinating-bookworm - 4k; implied Mashwood; M; Tristamp; Tristamp Wolfwood takes too many vials, and Vash and Meryl try their best to take care of him

Like Petals in a Storm by @maadskittlez29 - 5k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse Hanahaki AU (w/ a happy ending of course); When Wolfwood realizes what's happening to him, he resolves to hide it from Vash as long as he can, then leave when things are too bad to handle. Of course, things don't exactly go to plan

if only the rain were gasoline by halfdemonvash - 5k; Vashwood; M; Wolfwood takes a bullet for Vash. Emotions ensue; god I have so many of this author's stuff on my lists lol if anyone knows their tumblr pls tell me so I can tag them? I clearly love their writing

you can spend all your love making time by Anonymous- 7k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax fix it (this is my new canon)

you are my religion and my religion is you by reddiextozier - 7k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Vash confesses his thoughts to his priest; I do think this should really be E, but regardless it's a really fun read. This fandom has given me a penchant for vw fucking in confessionals whoops

wild horses couldn't drag me away by littleghost ( @ghostlandtoo) - 8k; Vashwood; M; Wild West AU; Wolfwood's POV of a kind heart to haunt (E)

white pony by tagteamme ( @phaltu) - 10k; Vashwood; M; Vampires and Demons AU (but still on NML); Vash comes into town searching for a "creature of the night," Wolfwood is the crux of the community as the charismatic priest

Something Fruity, Something Sweet by frankiesin ( @wolfwoodweddingdress) - 11k; Vashwood; M (I think it should be E tho); Modern AU - Coffee shop; Vash is a Starbucks customer with an insane sweet tooth, Wolfwood is just fucking in love with him

Someday out of the Blue by @tenshinokorin - 11k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax/reincarnation AU; 100 years after the end of Trimax, Vash runs into a man with the same name and face as his Wolfwood; I put off reading this for so long cause I knew it would make me sad. And it did! But it was also so cute and sweet and warm. And also thinking about it makes me want to cry, but read it anyway pls

his keeper by princecl0ud - 11k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; Vash disappears after a skirmish and is gone so long that the gang starts to give up, but Wolfwood can't let him go so easily; Vash had no clue anyone would be so dedicated in looking for him

Gun to a Bar Fight by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 11k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; VW get caught up in a bar fight and kind of maybe feel stupidly drawn to each other; shaking these dumbasses they're so cute I hope they get married

Shoot the Moon by @hypermoyashi - 14k; Vashwood; M; Canonverse; Wolfwood Whump; Wolfwood has to make some not very safe decisions to break Vash out of his creature/Plant state; "the existential horror of being in love with a nuclear reactor" is my new favorite tag; Vash gets so upset about hurting Wolfwood and Wolfwood is so intentional with his love in this, I adore them

Black is the Color by @tenshinokorin - 15k; Vashwood; M; Post Trimax fix-it/resurrection; Three years after the events of Trimax, Vash realizes his hair is coming back in blond. He also realizes he's not as alone as he thought he was; I bought a poster of fanart for this, is how much I love it. In case you were wondering

I Believe in the Kingdom Come by @tenshinokorin - 17k; Vashwood; M; Sequel to Someday out of the Blue; Post Trimax fix-it/reincarnation AU; Vash and Nick are still together, though they both have their secrets. Wolfwood is closer than anyone realizes

i know i'm known for giving love away by molotovhappyhour - 18k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax; Wolfwood stays at a haunted house in the middle of the desert to try to get rid of the spook; The spook is not, in fact, very good at being spooky... and something feels familiar about it, he just can't quite recall why....; This made me wanna cry for so many good reasons, holy shit! And such good story telling UGH

i sought him whom my soul loved by molotovhappyhour - 20k; Vashwood; M; Vash doesn't age, but Wolfwood is reborn after every life and at every time is hit with the full force of his past lives. He always seeks out Vash; crying in the club about this one! Fellas is it gay to search the planet time and time again in every lifetime for the same person? To wait every time to be found, never knowing when that time may be? I hate it here

Figure Me Out by WateredMyCrops ( @what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 33k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; 5+1 of Vash being inhuman and Wolfwood showing him he doesn't care; really check the tags on this one

Entertaining Strangers by @deludedfantasy - 41k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Fiber Artist Vash; Guardian Angel Wolfwood; Wolfwood is sent to the human world to find a child to protect, but instead he meets Vash, who lets him stay in his home and takes care of him; So nice to see angel Wolfwood, and I really loved how it was done; Seeing Wolfwood's care for those around him is precious

Kill Me With A Smile by @ShyKokiriMouse - 43k; Vashwood; M (treat this like it's E, it does contain explicit sex scenes); Tattoo Artist Vash; Florist Wolfwood; Spanish speaking Wolfwood; Wolfwood works next to a tattoo shop and is intrigued and confused by Vash, who always seems to cover his tattoos; First of all I am a tattoo artist Vash truther, thank you very much; This is my favorite VW flavor!!! Both pining, Wolfwood so hopelessly gone he can't stop himself, and Vash incredibly emotionally constipated

Open Me Up by WateredMyCrops (@what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 47k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; part 2 of Figure Me Out, but this time Wolfwood gets Known; for real, check the damn tags

Fatherhood Looks Good on You by frankiesin ( @wolfwoodweddingdress) - 62k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Roommates; Social worker Wolfwood; Vash comes to Wolfwood with a desperate plea to help him adopt two children, and Wolfwood has never been good at saying no to the man he's in love with

Aces in Space by @hypermoyashi - 70k; Vashwood; M; Sci-fi AU; Royalty AU; Prince Vash; Childhood friends; Demi Vash; Greyace Wolfwood; Wolfwood has long accepted that prince Vash is dead, no matter how hard Knives tries to find him. But when a stowaway on his ship looks very much like Vash might at this age... it gives him an idea; Listen I love Moya's writing, their world-building, Meryl and Milly's whole existence!!! And the budding relationship for Vashwood is so, so precious

Make Light Work by @hypermoyashi - 77k; Vashwood; M; Tristamp; T4T; Vash wakes up with severely impaired vision and has to learn to adapt; The description of this as Vash navigates his world with barely any ability to see is honestly just so fucking good

home is just a room full of my safest sounds by halfdemonvash - 29k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Neighbors; Wolfwood takes in a cat only to find her rightful owner lives literally across the hall from him. He gets too attached to both of them very quickly; cat dad Wolfwooooooddd!!!! And him and Vash are so cute and Kuroneko is a little shit I love her so much

Cryptobotany - The Study of Plants That May or May Not Exist by @puffinpastry - 61k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Appalachia; Creature Vash; Wolfwood and Livio find a creature? person? that has crash landed in the forest and can't bring themselves to leave him there. Especially not with evidence of a harsh past on his body; okay okay LOOK I know I'm so biased about creature Vash but this is so good okay the world building and Vash's characterization and KNIVES!! CHRONIC ILLNESS WOLFWOOD

The Courtship of Nicholas D Wolfwood by @screamingshark - 107k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Mermaid AU where Plants are mermaids and working with humans in research facilities; Wolfwood is a new security guard at the institute where Vash and Nai reside. Vash decides to court the hell out of him (no one thinks to inform Wolfwood that that's what's happening)

In the Next Life by @orcelito - 109k+; Vashwood; M; post-Trimax time travel (fix it?) AU; Vash goes back in time to try to make things better, but he still carries the weight of what he went through

Make it to Daybreak by @hypermoyashi - 161k+; Vashwood; M; Demon Slayer AU; Demon Vash; Meryl meets Vash, who challenges her beliefs about demons

come and see by @avoidingavoidance - 427k+; Vashwood; M; Post-Tristamp S1; Canon Divergence; After July, Wolfwood struggles to find his place in the world, but some things are too precious to give up on; I am screaming and crying and aggressively rattling the bars of my enclosure; Please for the love of Vashwood read this; the yearning, the angst, the fucking writing, all of it is so perfect I cannot give enough praise

if you scrolled this far down, you're so fucking gay, i love you

[the-bloody-sadist]

Recharge after cry sesh 🤲 very important (commission for @onigirivulpini )

[theeio]

i havent read the manga yet but i have a feeling im gonna love these two

[kitsoa]

"All I Hear Are Screams"

This is what you get when you're looping Love in Paradise and projecting Ody's absolute trauma on Vash as Eriks.

Ok but I Vash's Stampede Erik's design is not only like... really freaking good, it's got layers. First of all, his hair lays hella flat just like when he was a kid, and it bunches in a boxy style in a similar way. His haircut might have been unfortunately asymmetrical but the guy is a depression spell away from a total natural bowl cut at all times.

Furthermore! Stampede Eriks doesn't have the fringed bangs! He's a total sheepdog which makes him look identical to Tesla. I swear, I had to draw his glasses on him to make sure he was honestly recognizable.

Anyway, I made this solely because of the song. I find that the conflict with Vash's cultivated peace, in the face of his guilt and self-destructive thoughts over Julai creates this real desperate temptation. Like the peaceful life wants to cling to him and he wants to run from his past, but he can do neither, and he's just in agony in every way.

[ruporas]

imagine if your plant au ww grew and mutated like the plants in trimax. cuz it's not often, but sometimes they almost seem to Melt. limbs fusing, growing tendrils, extra joints, all the fucked up shit.

vash did it once or twice i think, but as a plant himself didnt seem that bothered to me. but as a human mentally, i feel like wolfwood would Panic to destabilize like that. anyone would, i think. its kinda playing on an innate fear in humanity

(pretty sure this was supposed to be a domestic comfort au but i couldnt help thinking about this haha whoops sorry)

YEAHHH yeah Yeah………. Fantastic tasty concept… i’ve considered that before but never poked at it too deeply because he doesn’t have a lot of power and if he uses all of it to result in a destabilized form, he’d die. from what i’m assuming out of the scenes i remember, the destabilization tends to happen after a great burst of power so…

tw body horror, blood

but let’s say his body Is able to keep up with it and he does accidentally start to destabilize. my first thought was that he wouldn’t be cognitive when it happens and if he was, yeah i think he’d freak out 😭 he already has a disconnect with his own body in more ways than one so seeing these feathers engulf him and his body shifting in ways it never had would scare him. i also think he’d benefit from his history with vash though and having bore witness of the “monstrous” ability time and time again, he wouldn’t be as petrified by it

along with the fact his body had been fucked up by serums and the EoM experiments, after he has a moment of calm to himself, he’d think of it as no different. it’s just now more obviously visible to people other than himself. i think the main thing that would scare him is the losing control part because he’s Also witnessed what that was like for vash 😔 like said, his body is wholly unfamiliar territory for him and since it’s New for humanity too, no one has any solutions, even vash. every new found thing is played by ear and both vash and wolfwood are hopeful that whatever vash knows will apply the same for wolfwood.

it’s a fair assumption considering what wolfwood inherited is a bit of vash’s energy; what’s given to keep him alive was vash’s originally. i have thoughts about that but none i can verbalize properly,. but have some more sketches and thanks for sending this in for the brainworms

[vashsmunch]

I'll be here.

Vash x GN! Reader

Synopsis: you're spiralling, and someone comes to help

Warnings: mentions of self-destructive thoughts, allude to suicidal ideations

A/N: third one i've made of these self-indulgent comfort shit LMAO, but don't judge me.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───  

Suffocating. Stifling. Drowning. 

Your hand flexed, fingers curling in on themselves to try and distract from the feeling of your chest concaving. 

In and out. In and out. 

Rhymathtically and almost robotically, in hopes that it would quell the darkness approaching you. Everything it touched withered away like death itself had grazed them with its bony claws. It was terrifying, at least it should've been. You couldn't help but feel like, at this moment, "death" wouldn't be so bad after all. A graceful ending to the turbulent turmoil that was the hell you were living in. Even purgatory would've been more desirable. 

God, it hurt. It was the type of pain that settled deep into the crevices of your soul, the kind that lay in wait for the day you just gave up. It's a quiet predator, one that doesn't care how long it takes. Patient, deadly, and counting the seconds until your eventual demise. You couldn't even find it in yourself to give a single fuck. 

There comes a point where the pain, the agony, just becomes routine. It becomes as regular as waking up to scroll on your phone, as simple as brushing your teeth. It doesn't hurt as badly as it did before, but you can't help but feel that you'll die with it clutching on for dear life. Maybe you deserved this. Things like this only happen to bad people, right? What are you, if not the most horrible person to ever exist, if this is the kind of pain you were experiencing? 

"Hey... Hello?"

Suddenly, you couldn't breathe. The darkness was closing in, and it was draining every single breath of air out of your lungs. Tears started to build up in your eyes and stream down your cheeks as you shook in fear. It wasn't fair. You were just trying your best. Why does this happen? Why does this always happen? Was your best not good enough? How much longer would you be forced to cycle through this barbaric game the universe decided to play with you?

"Look at me... Please look at me."

You shut your eyes and let out quiet sobs as you felt a shadow overtake your body. It was getting tougher for you to tell what was real, and you couldn't even feel the sharp sting of pain from digging your nails into the flesh of your palm. 

Someone... please. Save me. I can't... I can't keep doing this. It hurts. This hurts.

PLEASE. SOMEONE PLEASE.

A calloused hand wraps around yours, squeezing gently. An instant burst of heat radiates throughout your arm, warming every cold crack that had been seared into the skin.

"Hey."

You look up to see cerulean irises boring into yours, accompanied by a tense expression on the person's face. 

Vash.

The two of you stared at each other as the salty streams continued to pour down your face. You couldn't be bothered to wipe them, to hell with your decency. It was funny, though, with him, you never felt the need to be anything more. Maybe that was a bit selfish because, with you, he was nothing short of perfect. A bumbling idiot who always did his best to comfort you even when his own demons were clawing at his back. But who was the idiot now? The one who said nothing as he took you into his arms, or the one who clutched at his jacket, crying until there was nothing left? You felt him rub your back as he whispered into your ear, and you couldn't even decipher the words. It just felt so good. 

There weren't any words exchanged for a while; whether it was minutes or hours, you couldn't tell. Vash silently picked you up to cradle you in his lap, nuzzling his head into your neck. Slowly, the darkness started to fade away and unsink its claws from the flesh of your shaking body. He seemed to get impossibly closer as you melted into his touch, just craving some feeling of stability. How you wished you could have this all the time, just this comfortable silence. 

"I love you."

You didn't flinch, and one would think you hadn't heard him if it weren't for the way you held him tighter. Because with him, it was never too much or too over the top. Everything always felt right, and that's something you'd treasure for as long as you could. It was Vash the Stampede, after all.

"I love you too."

[to-eat-laugh-love-in-peace]

So Vash does wave Meryl goodbye with a smile since he knows full well what he's soon going to find himself in, he might not have known the exact details that entailed, he still knew that he was likely was not going to get out of it unscathed at the very least but I also think that he does this because he notices Roberto's gotten injured by the time he makes it into the elevator with Meryl.

He might not have been able to see the nail sticking out or the blood that will soon seep into his shirt but he could have seen him clutching onto the side of his torso which already isn't a good sign since that's where a couple major organs are located, and knowing that he and Meryl had just run from a barrage of nails Elendira generated out of thin air right as he and Wolfwood got there, he could have put two and two together and figured out that Roberto hadn't managed to make it out unharmed like Meryl did.

He could have thought that they would be able to get it treated at a nearest hospital in the city in time, but he also could have thought that they wouldn't be able to get it treated in time or at all with the size of Elendira's nails and just where one of them had gotten lodged in

and that's part of the reason why his smile looked so forced in this scene because by the time he got to Meryl and Roberto it was already too late Roberto was going to die soon from blood loss and Meryl was going to be devastated when she finally turned around and found out. @tristampparty

[anyasathenaeum]

Not Fair

A/N: I just felt like I needed some slightly sad and soft Vash in bed (not the nsfw kind), I decided to self-project my need to cuddle this man, hug him and tell him how wonderful he is and how much he deserves love and happiness okay bye

Warnings: Brief mention of nudity, hurt/comfort, cuddling

The only light that filled the shabby inn room was from the soft glow of the moon.

What you wouldn't give to live in this moment forever - just you and Vash, with nothing between you and a thin blanket covering you both, protecting you both from the vicious world outside.

The man who frightened townsfolk, referred to as the "Humanoid Typhoon", as humanity's first walking disaster, was currently curled up by your side and holding you close in his embrace with such care that you would think you were made of glass.

Vash's flesh-and-blood hand rested on the back of your head and his prosthetic held your waist gently as he held you close, his cold fingers tracing over your delicate skin, his beautiful blue eyes trained on you with such reverence, love and tenderness that it made you want to cry.

You found your own fingers tracing over Vash's many scars, reminders of the fear and hatred that was so often and so wrongly directed at him.

"It isn't fair," You whispered softly, not really sure who you were talking to. "You don't deserve this. You never deserved any of this."

Before you could realize it, your cheeks were wet with tears as you looked at Vash's body, overwhelmed by feelings of sadness for him - how could somebody as wonderful as him be treated so poorly?

Vash's heart broke in his chest as he watched the tears go down your cheeks, your words hitting him harder than you knew. You traced his scars so gently and with such care that Vash found himself fighting off his own tears.

How could he possibly deserve somebody as kind and as loving as you? How could he possibly deserve somebody who cried for him and cared for him as much as you did, after everything he had done in his long life?

"(Y/N)... Mayfly..." Vash's tone was gentle, not giving a single hint as to his inner turmoil. "Don't cry. It's okay."

"It's not, Vash!" You immediately replied, your teary eyes wide with disbelief as you looked at him - how was he so accepting of the treatment he'd gotten from people, even up until now? "It's not okay! You don't deserve to be hurt. You deserve to be loved, to be cared for. You deserve to be happy, Vash. You deserve peace."

The passion behind your words did move Vash to tears, and the blonde-haired man simply pulled you into an even tighter hug, his bare body pressed against yours as his silent tears traced down his cheeks.

"B-But..." Vash struggled, his throat tight with emotion, "I-... I-..."

Before Vash could get any other word out, your lips were on his in a gentle but insistent kiss. A kiss that spoke so much louder than any words you possibly could've uttered in that moment - it spoke of your love for Vash, of your belief in his deserving good things, of you wanting to care for him and protect him with every fiber of your being.

Vash couldn't help but return the kiss, his tears and your own intermingling as he held onto you with such desperation. You were his lifeline in that moment. Your love for him was what kept him from being completely washed away by the misery, the anger, the self-hatred and the sadness that Vash felt each and every day.

Vash was thanking whatever gods existed above for you, for the fact that you had crossed paths with him and you had seen enough good in him to stay, to love him for everything he was and to fight for him and alongside him.

Once the two of you had both calmed slightly, you shifted your position so that Vash was now the one in your arms, his blonde hair splayed out over your bare chest as his head rested on you, the continuous gentle thud of your heartbeat soothing him. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close as you kissed his forehead gently, brushing stray strands of hair out of his face.

"You're everything to me, Vash. I love you more than anything, and I would do anything to protect you. I promise I won't let anybody hurt you anymore. Not as long as I live," You spoke softly, your voice wobbling as you did so.

Vash heart twisted in his chest at your promise, and he shifted so that he could prop himself up to look at you. Tears were pooling in your eyes once more, and Vash quickly took your hand in his, kissing it tenderly as his heart ached from sheer love of you. You were so good - how could you possibly be his?

"Oh, Mayfly..." Vash couldn't bring himself to say anything more; the wobble of his lip was a dead giveaway that if he spoke any more, he'd burst into tears again, too.

"I swear it on my life, Vash," You continued, your voice falling to a whisper. "I'll protect you however I can. I love you, Vash."

Now it was Vash's turn to kiss you, his hands cradling your cheeks so gently as he pressed his lips to yours tenderly. He couldn't seem to find the words to convey to you just how much he loved you.

You hadn't been a love-at-first-sight situation. You had grown on Vash slowly, over the course of many years. You had become his best friend and closest ally, the one person he could always depend on and trust without fault. It had always been just you and him.

However, it wasn't until Vash had nearly lost you that he realized... that you were his reason for continuing this fight, the reason he still smiled and laughed. You were his strength.

And God, he loved you.

He loved you so much that he couldn't breathe if you weren't near him. He felt like half of himself was missing every second the two of you spent apart. And it terrified him. But losing you terrified him more. Eventually, the two of you fell into a relationship that was hidden from the world, only known by the two of you and a few other trustworthy people who had figured it out on their own.

So now, as Vash kissed you and held you under the secret cover of night, he found himself wanting nothing more than to have this moment last forever. This moment of love, in its rawest form.

A moment for just you and him where nothing else mattered. Where you both could dream of a future for the two of you.

Together.

[isawjamfirst]

starting to have a thing for long-haired vash thanks to @avoidingavoidance ‘s Come and See fic

[shmothman]

love, you're not alone

vash x reader drabble (rated g, 423 words)

Sometimes, Vash doesn’t want you to touch him.

Well, that’s not entirely true. He won’t let himself let you touch him. It’s like he’s punishing himself—he always is, in some way or another—for all those things he takes responsibility for; all those reasons he feels himself unworthy of love, all those things he fears make him selfish. It’s Vash at his lowest, his most self-destructive. Vash who doesn’t feel like he should be allowed the comfort you bring him.

And sometimes you can pull him out of it—wrap your arms around him and tell him tough, you’re going to comfort him anyway, even if he doesn’t think he deserves it. He feels even guiltier when he caves to your affections, but the time that passes between that and the shaky way he finally wraps his arms around you in return gets lesser the longer you stay by his side—like water sinking into parched ground: it’s been sunscorched so long it can’t accept moisture at first; not until you give it time, aerate it with so much love it can no longer reject it.

A century of dessication will do that to a person.

But sometimes you can’t pull him out of it—not for a while, at least. Sometimes he needs to be alone. And it hurts more than anything, letting him deny himself like this (and it’s a biting sting of rejection, even when you know it has nothing to do with you), but above all else, you respect his feelings, his decisions. And after the first few terrifying times, you know he’ll always come back to you—guilty for this, too; eyes still red from tears as he tries to apologize for not letting you near, for hurting you. But you’re patient with him, always patient. Much like the ragged scars across his body, these aren’t wounds that will disappear without a trace, and you know that better than anyone. Take his face in your hands and remind him that he has nothing to be sorry for, that he’s hurting and all you want to do is be here for him, however he needs. He can never quite bring himself to hold you tight, in these moments—but he will allow himself to hold you.

And once it’s passed—as much as it ever truly passes—he’ll thank his lucky stars for you all over again; return your love tenfold. He’ll never really feel that he deserves you, deserves this, but it will get easier with time. Slowly but surely, your love seeps beneath the surface.

[loveandpeaceanddoughnuts]

Last Rites

a Vashwood fanfic, cross-posted on ao3

"What is wrong with you, blondie?" Wolfwood hit the brick wall with a closed fist, hissing as his knuckles split. "They don't give a damn about you! Whether you live or die!"

Vash stumbled, shifting his weight against the same wall as he cradled his right side. "That doesn't matter." 

"Like hell it doesn't matter!"

Vash flinched at the other man's intensity. The weak smile he offered Wolfwood slid sideways off his face with a new wave of pain. "You know how I feel, Wolfwood."

The undertaker shook his head in frustration. "Wish I did."

Vash's knees buckled, and he slid further down the wall. Wolfwood threw a strong arm around his shoulders before he hit the ground.

"Hey, easy, needle-noggin. Easy." Wolfwood's voice was soft gravel and warm gunmetal. "You don't get to die before I convince you you're a damn fool."

Vash blinked up at him, glassy-eyed. "Die?" He huffed a shaky breath. "You know I can't do that."

"So you say." Wolfwood didn't meet Vash's gaze as he rifled through his bag for first aid supplies. "Where's that damn gauze?"

"The bullet just grazed me. I've had worse, Wolfwood."

"Really? Because you're usually a drama queen and now you're actin' all tough. Got me scared as shit."

"Look at me, Wolfwood."

"No, damn it! We gotta get you patched up."

"Look at me!" Vash's jaw clenched with effort as he reached up to drag Wolfwood down by the collar. Wolfwood dragged his eyes down to Vash, his heart clenching as he took in the gunslinger's bloodless face. Vash didn't let go of his collar but kept pulling the man lower until they were nose to nose.

"You don't have to believe in me. But I'm not gonna let yourself get killed for me either. Nobody else gets hurt." Vash tried another smile, this one lasting a little longer before it trembled away.

"Believin' in you was never the problem, blondie." Wolfwood's mouth went dry this close to Vash. His eyes flicked from the Stampede's bright blue eyes to his tight-pressed lips. "Let me help you."

Vash's hand weakened and Wolfwood took the chance to pull gently out of his grip. "We gotta get this bullet outta you. You can argue with me later." He cautiously reached a hand down to the hem of Vash's tight black top. "Can I?"  Vash's eyes had fluttered shut, but he gave enough of a nod that Wolfwood kept going.

"This isn't how I wanted this to happen," he mumbled, carefully lifting the shirt over Vash's head as he searched for the bullet wound. "Fucking hell," Wolfwood swore. Vash's muscled torso was a patchwork of thick scars and metal grates, as if he had been taken apart and put back together over and over again. The undertaker's breath left him like a punch to the stomach. "What happened to you?"

Vash groaned and tried to curl around himself protectively. “N-nothing. ‘M fine, don’t look…”

“Oh, Vash…” Wolfwood couldn’t stop himself from gently running his calloused fingertips over the longest scar, a raised and jagged line that traced his ribs. Vash flinched and Wolfwood instantly removed his hand, cursing himself for the slip. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” 

“No, you didn’t do anything. I just…I don’t like people to see me. Like this.” Vash’s words were sharp-edged with pain. “Especially people I- especially you.”

Wolfwood’s dark eyebrows knit together as he shushed the other man. He couldn’t know how wrong he was. Vash’s body was an alien landscape, and Wolfwood longed to map every inch of unexplored territory. “Don’t be ridiculous, blondie.” His voice dropped, ragged with the raw edges of the truth. “You’re beautiful.”

Vash laughed, but the normally musical sound was out of tune. “Don’t feel bad for me, Wolfwood. Doesn’t suit you.” He shook with the effort of speaking, and it didn’t escape Wolfwood’s notice.

“I feel bad for you ‘cause you’ve got such a spiky head, needle-noggin. But you’re fucking beautiful.”

The blonde opened his mouth to reply but was wracked by a cough. Bright blood dribbled over his lips, and his jaw went slack. 

“Vash?” Wolfwood grabbed his shoulder and shook hard. “Vash!” He swore and frantically tore apart his bag until he came up with bandages. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” He couldn’t tell whether the reassurances were for himself or the other man. Wolfwood tore a strip of bandages with his teeth, his eyes locking on a seep of sticky blood from underneath Vash’s body.

“Alright Typhoon, you’re gonna hold on for me.” Wolfwood turned him over quickly, steeling himself to the task at hand. “This is gonna fuckin’ hurt.” He ripped his flask from his pack and dumped stinging liquor over his hands, sterilizing them as best as he could. “I’ll make this up to you, okay? I swear to God, if He gives a shit.”

The undertaker took a deep breath and plunged his finger into the wound on Vash’s back, carefully feeling for the bullet lodged inside. He whispered apologies as Vash moaned in pain, his body still limp on the ground. The moans trickled to whimpers, and slowed entirely. In the silence, Wolfwood grew more desperate, no strength left to spend on his self-censoring.

“C’mon, baby. C’mon Vash, you stupid pretty thing, hang on f’me.” He gritted his teeth when he brushed against the warm metal, crooking his finger to pull the bullet out without causing too much extra damage. Wolfwood was numb everywhere except the places where his skin touched Vash’s. Those places burned like stars. “You’re doin’ so good, love. Stay here with me. I have so much to tell you if you stay here,” he murmured. 

Wolfwood reached for the liquor and took a hard swig from the bottle, swallowing with a wince. The rest he poured onto Vash’s wound, shakily brushing his hand over the blonde’s hair as the pain made him thrash. “I’m sorry, so sorry…your hair is so soft…softer than I even imagined,” Wolfwood whispered, a little hysterical. “I’ll tell ya so if you wake up after this, okay needle-noggin? Maybe I won’t even call ya that anymore.” 

“Forgive me for this, okay?” Wolfwood pressed clean bandages against the gunshot wound, a half-remembered prayer falling from his lips as Vash let out a strangled cry. “Almost done, almost done, love.” His eyes burned. “Why do you care about these people so goddamn much?” He leaned harder on the wound, willing the blood loss to slow. “What about the people who care about you? ” Vash’s blood soaked through the first fistful of bandages, and Wolfwood added a second. 

“I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep losing you.” Vash’s blood covered his hands, and Wolfwood swallowed down bile. “Fuck you, blondie. Fuck you for leavin' me alone again.” He was leaning his whole weight on the wound now, praying the bandages would be enough to hold Vash’s life in.

“You goddamn bleeding heart, you aren’t on your own anymore! This isn’t fair!” Wolfwood was crying, sick at himself. He didn’t even know he could still produce tears, and now he was on his knees next to the only person that would ever matter enough to wring them out of him. Vash’s eyes stayed shut, his body still and soft except for the tension in his jaw and the throb of his pulse in his neck. 

Wolfwood bent over him like a guardian angel. He turned Vash back over as the bleeding slowed and tenderly wiped the blood from his mouth. He pressed a heavy palm to the metal grate over Vash’s heart. “I love you, Vash. It scares me to death and I still love you. I can’t help it.” A bitter smile flickered over his face. “I’ve tried. Just get through this for me and I’ll tell you myself, okay?"

Suddenly out of things to do, Wolfwood collapsed back against the wall. His hands shook so badly that it took him three tries to get his lighter going, and he dropped the first cigarette he held to the flame. When it finally took, he sucked the smoke into his lungs like a penance and held it till he choked. That way, he had a reason for his voice to crack and his eyes to burn as he whispered, “Vash, please.”

[mediocreanomaly]

Cuz I’m a sucker for angst, what would happen if in your soulmate au, the reader rejects the boys because of all the pain they put reader through??

Authors Note: I'm so sorry for putting this one off I just didn't want to spoil pt.3 !!! now that I have it out of the way here's my hurt no comfort version of how pt.3 could have gone. Basically an alternative time line where you break these boys hearts :( (Please read the other parts for this to make sense)

For Context: Vashwood Soulmate AU Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Vashwood x Reader Soulmate Au, Angst

"I hate you" It's what comes out of your mouth. It's not your fault really, this is all too much too soon you didn't even know if you wanted soulmates, at least, not the kind that made your life a living hell since you were seven and yet here they were, stumbling into your clinic like this was acceptable or remotely normal.

"You...what?" the blonde ask. It's quiet, so quiet you'd almost miss it if it weren't for the kicked puppy expression he's currently wearing.

"Vash they don't mean that, I said mean shit too when we found out" Nick huffs. Vash and Nick huh? You almost wished he hadn't said the kicked puppies name, it'd make it easier to forget them when they left.

"No...No I do mean that" this gets both of their attentions, The dark haired man's brow furrows while Vash takes a sharp breath obviously steeling himself for whatever your about to say next.

"You two...you two made my life hell. I found out about you on my fucking birthday because I thought I got shot."

Vash winces at that.

"I had to be taken out of school because I cried all the time- hell I couldn't get out of bed! My parents had to look after me I nearly died myself from malnutrition because I couldn't stop screaming from how bad it all hurt!"

Nick shifts on his feet, squaring his shoulders, guarded as if it'll physically protect him from your onslaught of words.

"My dad left because he couldn't watch me suffer- my own mother prayed I would die. To be honest I kind of wanted to, I don't even know how I stayed sane, I don't laugh like I used to I don't- I hurt so fucking bad every day." your voice breaks.

You don't know what the two look like anymore, their forms get blotted out by the tears pooling in your eyes. It's good, you don't want to see their expressions anyways.

"I hate you! I wish you two would've just died!"

It's silent besides your own sobs that you try to muffle with your sleeve. If there was a god, he was a cruel one. One that played tricks and hurt for the hell of it. Because if there really was a god, why you? Why did you get the two people who hurt with abandon? Why did you have to be the one to send them away?

"We never meant to hurt you" Vash says softly, he's not crying. In fact when you glance up at him he's offering your a weary smile, it looks tired and fake.

"But you did"

Nick looks like he wants to say something but he reaches for his pack of cigarettes' instead, grabs one and lights it. Filling his lungs with a large inhale of nicotine. You can feel the burn when he holds his breath for too long.

"I'm sorry" the blond offers in a broken sort of tone, this bristles the other man but this too he doesn't comment on. He probably knows it's a losing battle anyways.

"I am too. Like I said, we're closed." You gesture to the door and that empty smile on Vash's face falters, you swear you see tears beginning to prick at his eyes too but it's too hard to tell with those yellow glasses.

He swallows the lump in his throat and nods slowly reaching for the door, he doesn't bother on waiting for his companion as he walks out shoulders lower than when he came in.

The man holding the cross watches you for a moment, expression hard to read under his dark shades.

"What" you say bitterly

"...He's right, we never meant to hurt you. Don't think we don't feel bad about it. I was mad too when I first met him but you shouldn't- you didn't even give us a chance"

"a chance? I've given you chances since I first felt the two of you. Every single day I gave you a chance, praying it'd be the last time I was shot or stabbed or fucking ripped apart." you snap back

He sets his lips in a firm line letting smoke curl up towards the ceiling.

"That "ripping" apart sensation was all me doll face. You want to be mad? Fine. But don't take it out on him, he likes to play martyr and I hate it just as much as you do but only because he loves too damn hard. Because he does love you, you get that right?"

It's your turn for your expression to sour. "Loves me? he doesn't even know me"

"Well that's just the type of person spikey is. He loves with abandon even if it get's him hurt, even if it ends in his own soulmate turning their nose up at him. If you want to be mad be mad at me."

"Why do you even care."

"Because we're your god damn soulmates! As much as you don't like it god or the universe or whatever the fuck picked us. Us. All three of us to be together"

"Well I guess god makes mistakes then huh."

He stills at that. He's angry, or defeated, or tired, you don't know which, or maybe its all three but there's something akin to recognition in his stance. You were right, he knows when to pick his battles.

"Yeah...guess so." he scoffs "Sorry 'bout the smoke."

You don't say anything when he opens the door to leave.

There's a pull, your soulmate connection telling you to follow, to beg them to come back but you shake your head. Maybe God makes mistakes but you won't.

***

It doesn't take Wolfwood long to find Vash. He's leaning against the clinic still, watching the stars. He doesn't really know what to say. He'd known this would happen, had known since they felt you pinch back all those months ago...but what can he say? The needle noggins optimism had rubbed off on him, he had forgotten that their lives were a tragedy, doomed by the narrative from the start.

"It's not your fault spikey so quit makin that face" Nick huffs, he wished he could say something kinder, more reassuring but he wasn't built for kindness. Vash knew that though, had felt it.

"Isn't it? I'm the one that's always diving in front of bullets, always getting hurt, letting myself get hurt I- I've hurt them so bad Nick. I don't deserve them, I don't deserve you either." Vash sniffles

Nick runs his tongue over the end of the cigarette in his mouth. He knew that if you had turned Vash down this would happen. He had a self deprecating streak like no other, not that he was one to talk. Nick reaches out to gently press his knuckles to the other mans temple.

"C'mon tongari none of that. These things take time, I nearly rung your neck too when I found out we were soulmates. 'sides, if we wanna play the guilt game I win by a landslide. The eye of Michael-"

"Nick-"

Wolfwood holds up his hand to finish "-The eye of Michael messed me up real bad blondie. That's not your fault or theirs. It's just a fact. So quit actin like this is black and white."

Vash quiets, he's not satisfied, but he won't pick at the wound more than he has to, not now at least.

"What do we do we do now?"

Nick eyes the other man and shrugs.

"What we always do. Keeping going and maybe...maybe one day we'll feel a pinch and know it's time to come back."

***

The next day they aren't in town, Gary tells you all about the two odd strangers who asked him about you last night. Ask if they ever made to the clinic.

"No they didn't but I closed early, must've missed them." you say

"Must've not been important then since they left so early, probably journalist" he chuckles, you just nod along.

"Yeah, probably."

You feel a pinch as you walk home, light on your right arm. You had caught a glance at Vash's- the blond mans left arm. Prosthetic, so the feeling must be from him. You don't pinch back.

There's no hurt after that, you move through your day painless, no bullets, no stabs, no pinches, no burns. No trace of you ever even having a soulmate.

Your life goes on like normal, although you have gained one new habit. Every night when you close the clinic, you double check to make sure the door is locked.