#i'm also way too broke

[lieshot]

You shouldn't advertise that you're getting high or "baking" on the dash ijs.

I'm literally in pastry school trying to make some tarts for class and I bake for some events for friends what the fuck?

[guinevereslancelot]

what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!

[sysig]

maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...

Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."

[cerealbishh]

"You're pretty new at this whole relationship thing, huh?"

"... Yeah."

[faunandfloraas]

NOT SOME LIL RAT BREAKING INTO MY BROTHERS CAR AND LEAVING ALL HIS METALS CDS BUT STEALING MY IN LIFE AND ROCKSTAR CDS 😭 KPOP FUCKIN THIEF

[fiona-fififi]

...

[bakafurai]

yeah that's fine I didn't need my heart anyways

[apoptoses]

Been thinking about how Daniel becomes a permanent resident of Trinity Gate, and how often he probably falls asleep early after Armand has worn him out, only to wake up and find one of Armand’s other loves (both romantic and platonic) on the other side of the bed. Like-

•Louis, who abhors being cold and hogs the blankets in his sleep. More than once Daniel has woken up in the middle of the day and had to wrestle the comforter back to his side. Other times it’s Louis with a book, reading aloud to Armand while he drags his fingers through his hair that stirs him. He never minds being disturbed by Louis though because Louis is a late sleeper like him, and that means with their powers combined they can convince Armand to stay in bed and cuddle the evening away.

• Lestat, who has developed the very modern problem of not being able to fall asleep without the tv on. Daniel always knows he’s shown up by the quiet sound of trashy reality tv, turned down low so Armand can sleep, and the absolutely insane amount of heat Lestat’s body with its ancient blood throws off when he’s fed.

• (but there’s also the other times when Daniel is woken up by Lestat’s elbow in his ribs as he engages Armand in some good morning making out. Daniel doesn’t care, he’s given all of them his permission to do whatever, and honestly half the time he gets his arms around Armand and joins in. But some nights he grumbles about Lestat being too fucking boney for his own good and rolls over for a few more minutes of sleep)

• And then once in a blue moon there’s Bianca, who he knows by the smell of her floral perfume. Daniel wakes up to them gossiping like schoolgirls late into the night, and to Bianca calling Armand ‘Amadeo’ (and she is the only one allowed to use that name, because in her heart he’ll forever be the sweet young man she adored)

• There’s even one time that it’s Riccardo, which is bizarre because do ghosts even need to sleep? But this is just Daniel’s life now, and Armand has told him the secret that when he was mortal sometimes he would sneak Riccardo in Marius’s room after he left. Mind racing from the blood, he wouldn’t be able to sleep, and Riccardo was more than happy to sit on the giant velvet bed and play cards with him until he passed out. (and just like old times, he finds a deck of cards tossed on the nightstand beside Armand)

• It’s not long before it being just the two of them actually feels weird, but on those nights they relive the good times at Night Island and put on a cheesy 80s movie. And finally Daniel gets to live out one of his greatest mortal fantasies, falling asleep in Armand’s arms and not waking up alone.

[mister13eyond]

honestly i love this stupid kirby meme for the dumbest reason:

which is that "i want to dead" has lodged itself as permanent echolalia in my brain, so when i'm Spiraling it becomes the despair mantra my mind is chanting, which like

WOULD be harrowing, but i keep picturing this sad little low poly kirby saying it and i'm just patting his angular little head like "i know kirby, i know, but the horrors persist and so must my juicy ass"

[thatonebirdwrites]

I'm not entirely sure why people will treat a statement I make as an opportunity to give me suggestions on how to alter things that I do.

It is the most aggravating thing I've encountered on social media.

I can witness an interesting discussion, and then I share my thoughts that relate to the discussion, but rather than engage my words and argument -- it becomes an opportunity for them to suggest things I can do better or offer solutions that they didn't do for the other people in the conversation.

I'm not sharing a thought or insight in order to get advice. I'm sharing a thought or insight because it was pertinent to the conversation, and I thought it added value.

It's even worse if it happens in person, where the person treats me like my thought or insight is utterly useless and thus I need to be "schooled." Except they often end up repeating what I just said.

I understand as a disabled person it is perhaps shocking to abled-bodied people that I am capable of intelligent thought. It would behoove folks to remember this, and perhaps consider points made by myself and those like me with the same respect and thoughtfulness they afforded others in the conversation.

If I want advice, I will directly state that.

If I am sharing thoughts and insight that seem pertinent to the conversation at hand? Then that is what I am doing. It is not an opportunity to talk down to me or offer advice on how to handle something.

I also know it's not just me either as this is a common discussion within the disability community of how we are treated when we speak up about, well, anything.

For example, I discuss cultural changes and societal systems a lot. I find it frustrating that people will jump to: "I have solutions that will solve your issue so you can better assimilate" or something akin to that, instead of engaging my original point about x or y topic. (For example, a change in culture and how people act in that society may result from people adapting or altering their behaviors based on: peer pressure, external factors within the society at large, capitalist exploitation, oppressive factors within society, unconscious biases, impact of media, etc...)

And just as culture and societal systems can change over time, we can change it ourselves in how we interact with one another and in what we create. None of these are a set, permanent thing. It is possible to push back against harmful changes in culture and various societal systems.

Sharing insights like that shouldn't be radical, but I guess it is.

Plus sharing such insights should not result in strange and unasked for advice giving or solution-oriented mentality (unless the solutions are related to the topic and are not just for me or other disabled or marginalized people to do x or y to "solve" what we shared in our insight).

It makes me wonder if when I discuss societal systems and/or other complex topics -- are people overwhelmed? Have I failed a neurotypical hidden-rule-check and thus get treated differently based on that? Do people not understand the points? Are they falling back on biases in order to cease a topic that makes them uncomfortable? Is there some sort of cognitive dissonance happening? What is the disconnect happening and where? Should I ask or point out the disconnect? These questions often run through my head when I encounter this.

It's why I so rarely join conversations, because my insights are rarely treated with the same respect as others who have already spoken. Sometimes it feels like I get a pat on the head (there has been in-person discussions where someone literally did this to me) for daring to speak up rather than treating my point as adding value to the discussion.

Often I notice the conversation ceases after I or another marginalized person speaks up. As if we killed the discussion by daring to share insights at all. It's happened so often that I am skittish about sharing anything.

It's also why I often revert to writing out essays and sharing that, but it's rare for people to engage the essays though.

Yes, sometimes I struggle with conversation that happens in real-time due to my disabilities, but that doesn't mean my contributions are useless or require the other listeners to revert to advice-giving rather than engagement.

I also struggle to contribute due to that fear I won't be treated with same respect afforded others in the conversation or that I'll fail to articulate a point well and accidentally cause a misunderstanding or I'll misremember a detail and get blasted alive based on that technicality. It's why I like Internet conversations that don't happen in real time, but are posts and comments that take place over hours or days. It gives me time to consider my reply and how to word it, and if I need to pull out a link for the research bit.

But even if I approach conversations in that manner, it doesn't seem to matter. The advice giving or need to find "solutions" for insights that aren't asking for that will often happen regardless.

I wonder how aware people are of whether they do this or not.

P.S. if a person reading this feels the need to revert to advice-giving and solutions in response to this, I would like to kindly inform you that this is exactly the bias I discussed. Nothing in this post is about me asking for advice about this topic. I am simply relaying my insights of an phenomenon I have noticed over the course of my and my disabled friends' lives. The questions asked in this piece are only to invoke thought and are rhetorical.

P.P.S. Feel free to share your experiences with this phenomenon however! Sharing your experiences is always worthwhile and will add value to the discussion. (As long as sharing does not explicitly target someone to invoke harm.)

P.P.P.S. I probably overexplained as I tend to do.

P.P.P.P.S. Using post scripts on a blog post amuses me, okay?

[fitzrove]

Ooh btw when I went out with my friends the other night we were waiting for a bus at one point. An extremely pretty girl was waiting for it a few metres away from us... I noticed her existing as you do pretty girls when you are a Homosexual (🫣) but was mostly focused on talking to my friends and stuff. Well suddenly she came up to us and I noticed she was actually kinda crying (!! 🥺) and asked if any of us had a tissue. I am always prepared esp fresh off my sneezy Vienna trip, so I gave her a plastic-wrapped pack, unopened and all... she was very grateful (asking if she could really keep it all - I said it was fine and even got to use the tdv sarah "you can have it, i've got two" line because I did have two hehehe success everyone inside my brain clapped) but she struggled to open it because long acrylic nails! So I offered to help again and she gave it back to me and our fingers brushed a bit and I tore the plastic cover open with my long short-nailed sexy lesbian fingers 😌 and gave it back hehe.

Anyway I feel like this all would've been a queercoded metaphor if it was fictional but because it's real life we went our separate ways never to meet again 😌 but I was still kind of thinking about her at the club 🥹 and when we were taking the train home with my friend at 5:50 am I was kind of talking about her JSKFLDLFLFL omg kinda creepy tbh esp since I wasn't even drunk 💀 Well my friend was drunk so maybe she already forgot about it. I hope that girl is less sad now and believes in the good in humanity 😌❤️

[leafy-m]

My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵

[dany36]

i thought i would be a bit burned out starting my fourth bg3 run in 4 months (and honestly it's going to be the last one of the year because too many other games in the backlog before the xcx remaster comes out :y) but.....well, turns out i'm not and i'm still having a lot of fun. this game is just too damn unbelievably good!!!!

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Were you the one talking about an mcr song based on Gerard being afraid of Mike dying and getting that phone call? I can't remember what it's called and google has failed me 😶‍🌫️

YEAH I WAS THE ONE TALKING ABOUT IT BUT IT WASN'T AN MCR SONG. you're thinking of last week when I was going insane over the intro to the song Brother. it's from Gerard's solo album, which came out the same year that Mikey was told he should have never woken up after an overdose (iirc) and went to rehab. so the dialogue in the intro (which imo is barely audible, I had to see stuff about it online and then look it up myself to even realize) is based out of the emotions surrounding that.

the actual MCR song that's about Mikey is called Famous Last Words and you've probably also seen me scream a lot about that. Gerard wrote it while they were making The Black Parade (which like obviously is probably their most popular album) because Mikey was having a really hard time and was considering leaving the band. the bridge is actually based on the fact that, when they were doing that album they stayed at this purportedly haunted mansion or whatever (idk man the early 00s were whack) and Mikey has straight up said, on camera, that he would get scared and so would go and sleep on the floor of Gerard's room. thus the "I see you lying next to me" line in the bridge of Famous Last Words.

Gerard has also said that the song Save Yourself from Danger Days is "a cousin" a Famous Last Words, so there's a conclusion that can be reached that maybe on some level that song took a bit of inspiration from Gerard's love for Mikey as well, especially considering that within the plotline of the Danger Days music videos (which have their own plot and characters portrayed by the band), there's a scene where Gerard's character is killed and Mikey's character kinda goes ballistic about it. but that's basically speculation

and as we delve into some very murky and hypothetical areas here, my personal theory is that Surrender the Night, from Schroedinger's album Conventional Weapons*, a series of double-single releases which were mostly written between the making of TBP and Danger Days but weren't released until after Danger Days, could ALSO be about Mikey in some vague, ambiguous way as MCR's songs tend to be vague and ambiguous in general (except when they're very very starkly about love).

*(I call this Schroedinger's album because I take them all in the context of each other and would consider Conventional Weapons as an album in its own right, however it was released as EPs with two songs each so technically speaking it isn't a proper album in that way)

and that isn't even mentioning the fact that Mikey has a cameo on another song from Hesitant Alien (he says "it was really me" in Millions)

[lunaetis]

@endweapon asked :

[ trace ] sender traces one of receiver’s scars ( eden's stellaron scar y/n )

nonverbal  meme  prompts. || accepting

─「エデン」─  EDEN hated the feeling of being exposed. the feeling of vulnerability, of being forced to reveal a part of her she would fight tooth and nail to keep hidden from sight. the trailblazer used to be quite open about herself, about what she was, about the truth behind her existence. she held no shame or need to keep a secret, however, things changed as time passed. as the JOURNEY went on, the more she knew, the less she shared.

                perhaps, the STELLARON had taken such a liking to the living weapon stood before her, as eden found her memory fragmented whenever he was presented. the cancer of all worlds pushed her consciousness aside, took over the body that was created to be its vessel and commanded it as if it was theirs. it's old, the seed of destruction, it's always so loud when he was here.

                this time was no different. it should've been no different if it weren't for a part of her being exposed against her will.

                eden saw everything even when her body wasn't under her influence, she witnessed everything through her locked up mind only to forget the moment she regained control. the AWARENESS never lasted longer than a few seconds. it was like waking up from a dream, however, this time, it wasn't the same. was it a fight ? she knew the stellaron was provoking him. the pain of the wounds and injuries was familiar.

                until she could feel it, the way the BLADE cut through her clothes, and her breath caught in her lungs, golden hues WIDENED and she screamed — her. not the stellaron. not the cancer of all worlds. not the corrupted self. her. eden. golden hues were blown wide, pupils dilated.

                " NO — " but it was too late. the attack landed and her skin was exposed. there it was, the proof of her existence. the LARGE SCAR that stretched from the middle of her chest throbbed wildly. the gold swirling and curling at the tearing marred her what was once flawless skin. this ... was her. this was what she was, what she was created for. everything that was the trailblazer was reduced to this very mark.

                the cold steel didn't harm her skin, yet, being exposed like this rendered eden completely silent, and the hold of the STELLARON slipped away. light returned to those aureate orbs, and instead of the sharp tip of the blade, she felt the gloved clad digits tracing along what looked like a crack in space and time, filled to the brim with liquid gold. life ? weapon ? both ?

                it pulsed, silently, lethally. her head throbbed, once, twice, and there was a ringing. it echoed dully within the mind of the TRAILBLAZER, pupils quivering uncontrollably, and ...

                ... a single tear slipped from her eye. exposed. vulnerable. empty. empty. empty.

                don't look at it. don't look at me.

                don't look at me ... or else you'd realize i'm nothing but a pawn.

                a living weapon. that's all i am.

[heuffopla]

hi. also near Paris. try Taimi if u like gay ppl. mostly the dating apps here suck tho this one included

Thanks, will try! Maybe I'll see you on there anon, I could recognize that grey face and sunglasses anywhere