#i'm also way too broke
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You shouldn't advertise that you're getting high or "baking" on the dash ijs.
I'm literally in pastry school trying to make some tarts for class and I bake for some events for friends what the fuck?
#➵ who threw the uncalled moonball | ooc#i'm also way too broke#but i'm also a fucking adult so? the fuck?#baked vs bakING
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what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!
#girl what are you doing......#also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT#just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄#girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you#if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌#his muder is a part of him and its SEXY#robert chase#house md#malpractice md#i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf.....#i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5#s6 everything instantly goes to shit#and stays shitty#chase should be happy fr#he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house#like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman#anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc#also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing#this has been a shitpost#anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf.......#anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer#i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show
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maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...
Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."
#My art#Requestober#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#The Captain#You can't tempt me like this I'm too weak to it agh#I am sorely convinced that with a Slightly longer time frame to work on this I would've gone with my first idea#It was way overly-ambitious for a less-than-24-hour time limit but hhghhh I /do/ want to draw everyone in cute costumes!!!#Super doesn't help that I very broke my sleep schedule and like as soon as this came in I fell asleep for three hours lol#And was still tired!!! That's just not fair says I#But I still managed >:3c Because I limited my scope haha but that's important too!! And it still turned out cute!!!#I mean how couldn't it - ZEX as The Little Mermaid is just-#I'm enamoured it's so perfect for him..........what an excellent idea...........definitely not going to be thinking about this for A While#Funnily enough my immediate thought was actually angst haha - the mermaid has to give up her voice! What would ZEX give up?#That he hasn't already anyhow - and then thoughts of reviving Zelnick but selfishly I just hhghgh I love himm I love themmmm#For now the cutes tho!!!!#It tickles me so bad that a significant portion of Damned takes place in October hehe <3 ZEX arrived in November but still!#And then the Halloween event to get their canon outfits back fjdskalfjd ahhh!!!#I'm many many years too late lol but there's something very lovely about the theme continuing ahh <3 <3#Oh yeah and there's also two others in costume here lol - the Captain's was easy haha <3 Dashing prince! He suits it ♪#For DAX lol at first I considered Triton? But he's not quite That bad about ZEX's human infatuation#Not that he's as admissive or manipulative as Ursula either - at some point it might've just become ''I want to see him in it'' lol#He's so happy about it haha <3#Can you tell I had fun with ZEX's costume lol - sparklies!!! Had fun with the glitter on his shoes :D#I Will find a place to use my scale brush anywhere and everywhere and that's a threat#I wonder what ZEX would think of human animation haha - I only remember there being one movie night at the Institute!#Surely Disney would get the greenlight to be played in the Sun Room! ZEX having a transcendent ''seen'' experience aw <3
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i miss horses
#horseback riding is insanely expensive in big cities though#idk if ive talked about it here but i did do horseback riding for i think six? or seven years? something like that#i was super lucky i got to do that bc i was able to get my equipment 2nd hand and#and my mom had 2 jobs and she thinks every kid should have at least one sports hobby and#she knew how much being able to do riding would mean to me so she made it happen and#it did so good for me so i'm very thankful#*did so much good#man i was in such a good shape when i still did riding. by good shape i mean great ass.#anyways i was even pretty good at it. the coach always wabted me to compete but i was like#''hmm no ♡'' bc i didnt want to have to learn and remember what to do at which point#i do sometimes think about what if i started competing#probably not much bc idk if it works with someone elses horse but hey i could have gotten ribbons#anyways i miss it#i dont think i could even get on a horse anymore. i need to start stretching regularly#also im probably too heavy to ride a lot of horses#but i want to brush a horse so bad rn#pretty recently after i stopped riding someone asked me if i did ride bc they could see it on the way i carry myself#which was interesting but i get what they meant#sigh my posture was so much better too#also im kinda scare i wouldnt bounce back from falling like i did when i was younger#it's a miracle i never broke anything or worse#leevi talks
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cause of death: arcane season 2 episode 5
#GIRLS I'M STRAIGHT UP NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME (in the best way possible)#oh my god THIS is the show of all time#when i tell you i was CRYING#also only bangers of dialogue coming from singed like???#'in my experience no one in power is innocent'???#'no beast is more savage than man'???#'why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? for love'??????????#GIRL I'M DEAD ON THE FLOOR#oh and let's NOT talk about the 'he's your dad too' scene................ that's what broke me for real i had to stop the episode#arcane#arcane spoilers
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"You're pretty new at this whole relationship thing, huh?"
"... Yeah."
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#outer range 02x01#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#rhett x maria#um... idk i love them#but why would they do this to me? it's gonna sting so much when they break up#her teasing him is my favorite thing#but also her calling him ''wonderful''? my god the squeal i let out...#the smallest little smile and the way he looked at her before he said ''good'' after she said she likes how she feels when she's with him?!#now i'm rhett going ''don't do this'' but instead of with his truck it's with the show#my biggest gripe is that she doesn't help him that much with his broken arm... except maybe to help him shower? /hj#i get why he was the one to get the snacks... it was for the impact of the scene but still#it's great to see them laughing and smiling so much! love that!#i think she smiled at least once while her poor boyfriend was getting freaked out by cats#he could not keep a straight face for that long after saying ''what does that leave me?''#i wonder what he was gonna say before she said she liked how she feels when she's with him... was he giving her an out?#he has NOTHING pleasant to say about her not even a ''thank you'' after being called wonderful smh /j#tw: food?#my girl didn't even say ''bless you'' when he starting sneezing :(#i switched the last picture because i like the way they were smiling at each other when he got onto the bed#after maria laughs in the car after the buffalo run past them i think i can hear the lowest ''so are we-'' or ''sorry''?#and i think that may be because lew thought isa broke character?? but i'm not too sure... maybe it's rhett apologizing#but idk? maybe it's just rhett saying sorry because he felt self-conscious about maybe sounding stupid... or maybe i'm just hearing things#i think the way he even said ''okay'' after she took all the snacks was similar to the way she said it before she grabbed the snacks#look i understand not getting a shower scene but they truly robbed me of seeing rhett and maria with wet hair...#just another little nitpick but i think the ''i like who i am when i'm with you'' would hit harder if we saw maria in scenes without rhett
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I have a really funny concept for an Azula reverse self ship (because I can't make a regular self insert work with her), and I'm trying to decide if it'd be funnier to make her a History RPF girlie or if the reason Zuko had to sit through Ember Island player's butchering Love Amongst the Dragons was because Azula had a massive crush on one of the characters and DEMANDED they went to see it every year.
#Reverse Selfship#Proship Selfship#Think thokin#Might make it an Azula X Reader if I can think about it long enough. For funsies#I now the reason they saw Love Amongst the Dragons so much was it was there's mom's favorite play#But I do also think it'd be cute if it was also Azula's favorite play but for different reasons#I'm thinking she liked the Villain of the story; So the dark water spirit#Which adds a fun layer to it as the Dark Water Spirit mask is the mask Zuko wears while being the Blue Spirit#There's also apparently an Earth Kingdom Opera with the Dark Water Spirit in it so maybe she was obsessed with that too#Thus why Iroh got her the Earth Kingdom doll when he broke through the wall at Ba Sing Se?#He thought she liked Earth Kingdom arts and what not#It's weird that he gets her the doll. He clearly knows his Niece just as well as his Nephew. I always thought that was weird.#Anyway.#This is a nothing post of my silly funny thoughts but I like it#I'm rambling more about one than the other because I JUST watched the Ember Island Players episode#So it's more in my head#But Azula reading of some amazing Firenation Non-Bender general or strategist#(because she seems to have an affection for non-benders)#in her history books and getting a big silly crush on him is ALSO incredibly funny to me#It was my first concept#Rolling them both around#BY THE WAY#If any real Azula selfshippers see this#You are 1000% free to steal this concept. I just think she's neat.
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NOT SOME LIL RAT BREAKING INTO MY BROTHERS CAR AND LEAVING ALL HIS METALS CDS BUT STEALING MY IN LIFE AND ROCKSTAR CDS 😭 KPOP FUCKIN THIEF
#he called me from work like Ummmmm. think someone broke into my car bc all the stuff in the centre console was pulled off#and the glove box was dug through too#he lowkey sounded offended like whyd they take skz but not any of my albums LMAO#yeah geez at least nick the black sabbath best of or something#I'm not even angry tbh it's really funny but also </3 my in life cd#i have the felix cd version of rockstar so that doesnt matter too much#in life tho 🥺#the way i just know it was a teenage girl like
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yeah that's fine I didn't need my heart anyways
#robin kenji posting#persona 3#kenji tomochika#I was watching a stream and the streamer picked the first option saying ''cheer up man'' which i did not pick on my playthrough#and then i proceeded to die on the inside#I'm. I can't#also the way joe zieja delivered those lines broke me...#HE SOUNDED SO GENUINLY HURT I'M AAAUUGHHH#i'm so ough#there's also the last option to just laugh which is horrible why would you do that#it makes me start to sob on the spot i kid you not#if you don't like this guy thats fine but laughing at his misery????? at his low point???? is way too mean????#honestly ms kanou gives mega sus vibes i don't like her#several ranks kenji begs mc not to tell anyone and then she goes ''he must have been the ones who spread the rumors''#like bitch nah he didn't he wanted it hidden and got scared when it got out#she's an adult and a teacher if she noticed kenji had a thing for her she should not have indulged him#told him ''hey you seem to be getting the wrong idea''#but now she let's him in her house for tutoring gives him her number#and in the femc routes reveals she just has him do her chores essentially#and the maya SL implies she bragged about a student asking her out and even considered it????#ethics teacher my ass get the hell out here#god.#where's my option to hug him atlus he needed one on god#hi i really like kenji can you tell lmao#if you read all this hi hello i hope you have/had a nice day :D
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...
#today my grandparents were over#and my grandma mentioned that my cousin's best friend and his long-time boyfriend are getting married tomorrow#and my grandpa started talking about it with my mom#and what he said was 'you know i don't have any problem with that.#i've never met a person like that who wasn't perfectly nice. they're great people.'#and my mom said something like 'yeah and that's just the way of the world now'#and grandpa said 'well actually that's always been the way it's just now they're able to be open about it'#in such a pleasant proud way#like he was just genuinely happy that queer people are able to be open and be themselves#and i nearly broke down crying#because i've always been too afraid to ask#but it is a relief to know he wouldn't hate me if i ever got up the nerve to tell him i'm bi#anyway#personal#also#in case it matters#this man is 91 years old#and i'm very happy to know this is the way he thinks
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honestly i love this stupid kirby meme for the dumbest reason:
which is that "i want to dead" has lodged itself as permanent echolalia in my brain, so when i'm Spiraling it becomes the despair mantra my mind is chanting, which like
WOULD be harrowing, but i keep picturing this sad little low poly kirby saying it and i'm just patting his angular little head like "i know kirby, i know, but the horrors persist and so must my juicy ass"
#externalizing my impulsive spiral thoughts as a separate entity was only step one#step two was making that entity a charmingly pathetic little guy who must be treated with compassion#broke: yelling at the imaginary personification of your suicidal thoughts for being a loud dick#woke: seeing this sad little kirby and sagely comforting him#tw sui ideation#mental health#also it's worth noting that like#i've come far enough that these days 'i want to dead' doesnt carry nearly the weight it used to#like yeah it's bouncing around my brain like a frantic echolalia every time i'm upset and overwhelmed#but i know low poly kirby doesnt ACTUALLY want to dead#he want to turn down the volume of everything happening and it's the only way he knows to express it#the kneejerk impulse will probably never go away#i spent too long with my immediate reaction to every struggle being 'i wanna die' for the habit to ever fully vanish#but i can't get mad at my brain for saying it#it's just a sad little low poly kirby ok#be nice to him. he's so low poly
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2024: Scrapped
#invention.#some of my scrapped edits from 2024#i had more but i broke my laptop so these are js the ones i had in my drive#some of these i scrapped cause i thought of sumn better for an edit#or i was js using it as an editing excercise#i think its so funny that i made only character posters this year apparently i dont leave my comfort zone#anyways i thot this wld be fun im not rlly editing anymore but I'm thinking of getting back into it so keep an eye out??#the way these are all over the place bothers me but i kinda tried doing the colour thing#also guys whats the editing scene like on insta is it worth making an accnt#im making posters for my brothers room so maybe ill share those too#except maybe i wont cause idk where i got the artwork for one of them and i dont wanna be cancelled BAHAHAHA
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Literaly was just- looking at google images of foldable rollators with seating. Just staring at them, and daydreaming about getting one and using and going around and how it'd be to take it out of its packaging and immediately trying it out and going out with it and decorating it and making it my own and all the stuff i could do so easily with it
Everyday physically-abled people don't fucking daydream about rollators
But yeah it's all in my head, just keep gorging me with a 3rd antidepressants after the first two didn't fix my physical issues, surely that one will fix it/s
#chronic fatigue#HB rambles#suspected pots#suspected cfs/me#also found shower chairs and bed trays that would help so much. especially the bed tray to draw and attend class online#still can't find any good kitchen chairs though#which really sucks considering the dishes are by far one of the hardest thing point blank#almost passed out cleaning them way too many times#but i'm broke. jobless. in debt and with no disability aid. and have no idea how expensive all those things are or if i can get#reimbursed for them...
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just reflecting today on the 7th poured drink tonight and recalling how when i was venting to my co-workers about yesterday and the panic attack i had and all that, she mentioned how I needed more help when I was drowning and i swear to you the immediate thing that came to mind when she said that was alan wake
#i haven't really made many drowning gifs have i#also i feel bad cause like. god#this is so stupid and convoluted and part of the guilt i'm carrying right now#our customer service department ended up being the straw that broke my back and made me have that panic attack/meltdown yesterday#and i try#i TRY SO HARD to have some empathy towards them cause i mean#they're the ones getting basically abused by our customers#and it hurts so much to me that i can't be more help#and specifically the situation yesterday was me having to jump in and finish something that idk took me all of ten minutes to do#after i asked for some forklift assistance that took maybe like half an hour#but i had asked my employees to get that done *last week* and they couldn't do it#and the poor customer service rep had to escalate it to the director of sales which she flaunted in myf ace#and i felt terrible when i snapped and said 'ok i'll drop everything i'm doing to help you'#when i did legit have a million other things i needed to do#i'm honest to god tempted to rate myself as unsuccessful this year just cause like#i've been having to do my own employee's jobs which is also my fault for maybe not being firm like i need to be#but anyway her saying how i was drowning of course made me think of alan which honestly made me feel a little better#cause i mean it's like nick right#if alan could get out of the dark place even though it took him 13 years maybe i can too#and also inspiring in the way that like. alan needed help and i probably need help too#i've gone to therapy twice once in person and once online and like nick it's just...#not my thing#but something both therapists seemed to concur upon was that my support system isn't the best and i also need to work on myself#and love myself and lmao that's soooooo much easier said than done#but anyway i'm sorry i should get a real diary or somethin but#something about the formatting of tagging like this is weirdly comforting
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My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵
#Every time I read through to edit I end up adding another scene this is so fuckin embarrassing#It's not even in chapters it's just one massive thing#The beginning is bad though I have to figure out how to rewrite that but lmao a fixed version with dialogue will be another 2k aha ha ha#There's one long scene I could remove and make that it's own one shot but also god how about I Don't#I'll probably end up deleting it because it's just. Too much. Compared to everything else. But also. What if I didn't? 🤷♀️#I think what's hilarious is that I had Plans. About Themes. And Character Studies. And Comparisons#And idk if it's even really in there and visible and not just 20k of 'what if I just wrote the most indulgent shit for me specifically'#And then ended it with an emotional slap to the face because I love building things up and then tearing it apart#(and it does that really well; I'm giggling into my hands - I'm dancing on my own grave)#I've cried so many times during this stupid fic#*deletes other comment*#Anyway my OTHER fic that I also indulgently love and is way too long and made me cry way too hard every fuckin scene#Does not make me cry anymore and idk if I broke it somehow in the editing or if I'm just immune to its devastation now#Honestly concerned that when I post these I'll be like 'meh; it's just ok' and then anyone who reads it is like ☠️☠️☠️☠️#Hehehehe#Ok I'm done
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Okay actually I love I'm not sorry for loving you
#Epic the musical#vengeance saga#I'm not sorry for loving you#I feel like epic did a pretty good job showing Calypso#Yah she's an isolated immature all powerful being#Yes she's a victim of being imprisoned her whole life#Yes she also did horrific things to odysseus in her excitement about not being alone anymore#Yes she's so omg I get to take care of him!!! Manipulative personality type#Yes I am using her and this song to project my own real life issues of breaking up with a maniputive people pleaser#Wait hold on that sentence implies awful things my ex and I weren't even remotely intimate besides kissing#Though thinking about it she'd probably be pushy in that way too gross so glad I broke up with her#Anyway she's just also keeps sending me things like sorry my love inst enough for you and other typical bullshit#So I'm enjoying the projection#Anyway love the song a lot and there have been some gorgeous anamatics
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