#i'm almost jealous of people who can. and i have to remind myself that's so epic and cool actually i love that for them

[moe-broey]

Besties it may be so fucking over. I think I might literally unironically have covid.

Which is. So unbelievably Stupid. For the entire duration of its existence I managed to avoid it. I was gonna get my updated vaccine at the end of the month. I go to a concert (one of many for the fucking record) and I am masking for the majority of it. I get fucked up by a crowd surfer I almost lose a piercing (bloody but healed okay, was only a bit crusty the day after). Maybe it wasn't the wisest decision to put it right back in but like bitch???????????? What else was I gonna do?????? I mean. Maybe if I were smarter I would have just waited til I got home to fully sanitize it. It did happen during the last set. But like are you kidding me do you think I'm thinking anything other than "Oh shit I almost lost a piercing and it would be a pain in the ass to replace it and I don't wanna risk my hole closing up". In all fairness I think I'm allowed to be a bit stupid there.

Anyways my symptoms haven't been cold like or flu like and they feel exactly like what I experienced when I got the vaccine way back when. Headaches, muscle aches, loss of taste, difficulty breathing even just with. A sports bra. I kinda stopped binding a while ago bc of the strain. It may be so fucking over for me. Literally get top surgery or just fucking die. Have to figure out what's up here first though, gonna call my doctor about it. 🧍

[ghostedgrim]

She's all that is about the popular guy being dared to date the "nerdy girl" by his so called friend, he takes the dare but ends up falling for her. She finds out and they have a fight and break up. He wins her back in the end. Take it anyway you want! I do want Eric to be jealous as hell after they break up when other guys start taking an interest in reader!!

She's All That pt.1

Pt2. Request page. Masterlist

Warnings ⚠️: Getting dared to pretend to date someone, implied violence, jealousy,

"Eric, with all so respect, you're a Dauntless leader, yet you've been single since day one." The music in the bar is so loud that for a moment Eric almost didn't hear him.

"Personally James, I don't see how that's relevant. I have enough hookups to satisfy me plenty, I don't need some girl or whatever. Relationships I just a bothersome hassle."

"I bet you don't have a single romantic bone in your body."

"That's what you think, James," the bartender hands Eric a plate of food and leaves her number on the receipt. "Now if I were an unromantic man, that woman wouldn't have given me her number just now."

"Okay whatever, we both know you're good at getting men and women into your bed, but can you handle a full on relationship?"

"Yes, I just prefer not to, I don't need it" Eric shrugs.

James smirks and holds up his wallet. "Prove it then, date y/n then, the ex Erudite girl from your iniation class. You don't have to love her back, just make her love you. Do it and I'll pay for your next tattoo."

"Fine, how long do I have?"

"I'll give you about a month."

"Then we have deal James."

Is drinking by the chasm stupid? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely not, not when I've been on a week long trip to Amity to handle Dauntless soldiers who forgot their mission and decided to play with the Amity girls. My job is to train and direct Dauntless soldiers, yet most days I find myself spanking ass because they don't know how to behave.

"God I should've stayed in Erudite." I groan. Obviously it isn't true, the people there were cruel, liars, manipulators, vain, but I must admit I missed all the reading and research I'd done throughout my time there.

"Saying stuff like that would get you killed," I damn near jump out of my skin at the sound of the deep rumbling voice behind me. I turn around to see Eric standing right behind me. He wraps an arm around my waist to stable me, and guide me away from the chasm as I sway. "Long day?"

"More like a long week," my hard scowl meets his cold grey eyes, "What do you want Eric?"

He looks at me with a prideful expression, "I wish to take you out on a date. Don't worry about work tomorrow I'm assigning you a day off."

I scoff, taking another sip of my drink. "Me? Hookup with you? Not interested."

Eric falters for a moment, a small tick in his jaw, before returning to that prideful arrogance. "Good, I'm not interested in a hookup. Meet me tomorrow at 8pm by the train, I'd like to get to know you, nerdy and all."

Before I could even argue he walks away, that entitled ass really thinks I'll just go where he tells me because he said it's a date. I wonder if he uses that method with every girl he hooks up with. Either way I'm not going.

"I'm not going." I remind myself for the uptinth time today. I'm laying on my stomach atop a skyscraper, sniper rifle in hand. Every shooting range in Dauntless is underground except for the rifle range. Every target is at least a mile away, and every night they're moved to a new spot, hidden somewhere on the streets below, or hidden in a new room within the buildings around me. Sometimes, the targets are put on conveyors so they move around, and sometimes some are hidden so well you can only see a tiny sliver. To handle a gun that can shoot from miles away takes practice, and extreme smarts. Constantly I must calculate how the wind may effect my bullet, how far before gravity pulls it down, the most effective place to hit a target, arm to disarm, leg to stop them from running, chest or head to kill.

Only 7 people here in Dauntless have been trained and can handle a rifle and I'm one of those seven. It's one of the few jobs I can use to challenge myself. Kinda fascinating how using a gun takes so much math and knowledge in physics. None the less, I still train at least twice a week like the others.

I'm not fucking going! BANG!! My gun jerke violently, the bullet flies through the air landing perfectly onto the head of a far away target.

I look at my watch, "6:15." I'm not fucking going.

I readjust. BANG!!

I wonder what Eric could possibly have in mind for our date. Wait, why the fuck should I even care? I'm not even going.

It would be rude to stand him up though, and maybe he does actually like me, maybe he's finally going to be in a relationship and he actually chose me. I scoff, nah that's fucking stupid, as if Eric would think to pick me our of all the women already obsessed with him. I'm sure he'll live if stand him up.

BANG!! I miss by a whole 5 feet. "Fucker."

BANG!! I miss again...

It's 7:58, I'm standing by the train tracks wearing my nicest black dress, combat boots, and my favorite gun and dagger holstered to my thigh beneath the skirt of my dress. I even did my makeup. Fuck me, why the Hell did I fall for this crap?

I watch the train approach. "Where the Hell is Eric? Is this a prank?" I fail to hear the frantic footsteps from behind me. I barely have time to process anything before there's an arm around my waist and I'm getting dragged into a train car.

"Sorry I'm late, had some last second paperwork to handle. Thank God I made it in time to catch the train. You okay?" Eric is wearing his typical black cargo pants, combat boots, his black shirt is tight fitting and pared with a black jacket, his hair is in it's signature style and everything. Why the Hell am I about to swoon?

"I'm uh, yeah I'm fine." I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear as I regain my footing. "For a moment I was scared you stood me up."

Eric scoffs, "Stand up a beautiful girl like you? I'd rather punch a brick wall." He sits down on the threshold of the door, letting his legs dangle out of the traincar as we race through the city. "Come sit," he pats his thigh.

If he's dissapointed I didn't sit on his lap he doesn't show it as I sit across from him. Unlike him I keep my legs inside the train car. "So uh..." I click my tounge, "why did you ask me out in a date, and why did you do it without the intent of hooking up? Last time I checked you never had time for a girlfriend."

"You've never been asked out before-"

"Oh so you're asking me out as a joke? Or pity? Because I'm not staying if that's the case." Eric appears to panic for a moment and quickly grips my shoulder as I try to stand.

"I wasn't finished," he states defensively, Eric's eyes stare deep into mine, their color cold as a winter storm, yet my cheeks warm and my heart stutters. I should probably check that with a doctor. "You and I came to Dauntless and went through iniation at the same time, if I recall correctly you ranked 10th place out of 35 initiates. Now you're not only training and directing Dauntless soldiers, but you're also apart of the only seven people here in Dauntless capable of handling a sniper rifle. I think I have every reason to be curious about you, because the fact that nobody has asked you out is baffling, especially considering how stunning and powerful you are."

Never have I expected a man like Eric to say such words. Stunning? Powerful? I know I'm strong, no idea where he gets the idea I have good looks, but honestly, I feel like I'm the hottest girl in Dauntless after hearing those words. Eric's hand rests atop mine, warm, strong, calloused from rigorous training, his eyes seem to trace my face, and suddenly I'm 16 and freshly transferred to Dauntless again. Eric was terrifying, but hot back then, he still is now just more tame.

I soon realize I've been gaping like a damn fish for minutes now and Eric's small chuckle breaks me from my trance. "I take it nobody has told you that before," he brings a hand to my cheek, his expression soft, "let me be the one to change that, to show and tell you just how amazing you are."

I used to imagine how his lips would taste. t

Then I turned 17 and pushed it from my mind because I was convinced Eric would never love me. He would always be too busy chasing tail to even notice me. But now his eyes are on my lips, his tounge even darts out for a moment to lick his bottom lip. He then looks back at my eyes, he leans in the hand on my cheek pulling me closer. "You smell like strawberries." Our lips are almost touching, his warm breath fanning across my jaw, he smells like gunpowder, cedarwood, and whiskey. I can barely hear anything over my pounding heart. I close my eyes, leaning forward to close the distance between us.

"Shit!" I open my eyes as Eric frantically pulls himself away from the door and the traincar is encased in darkness for several seconds until we leave the small tunnel. "Fuck," Eric laughs, "nearly lost my damn leg." I can't help but to laugh with him.

"That would certainly be quite the traumatic first date." We settle down again the wall both looking out the open door across from us. "How about we just keep all our limbs inside the train for now?" Eric sighs, and we both relax taking in the sight and sounds of the dark clouds rolling in and the distance thunder. The train rolls through the miles of green, flat land between the city and Amity. You can still see the bright lights of the Erudite buildings. It's peaceful, and I can't help but just enjoy the moment rather than talk.

"I once lit my hand on fire." Eric says it so casually as if he were talking about the damn weather.

"You what! Please do tell." I smile like a little kid excited for candy. Eric smiles back and dives into the story of how in chemistry he accidentally covered his hand in lighter fluid, then instead of washing it off he thought it faster to just burn it off. Fortunately the fire lit and burnt out too quick to cause any permanent damage.

It's pouring by the time the train reaches the Dauntless sector. Eric jumps off, then I jump right after. I barely have time to finish standing before he's wrapping his jacket around me. "I would hate for you to catch a cold. Now let me walk you home."

I'm starting to think this is a dream.

Asking her out was one thing, I never meant to get attached. We've been dating for almost a month now. Every time I see her my heart stops, and all I can do is admire her like some dumb schoolboy with a crush. Never in my life did I think I could actually fall in love, and never did I think I would stay up all night imagining what it would be like to kiss a girl, let alone replaying the sound of her laughter in my mind over and over. She's strong, smart as Hell, arguably smarter than me, and gorgeous, so fucking gorgeous I could drown in her arms. Honestly if she suffocated me I'd probably thank the damn woman.

"I'm fucked, I'm so utterly fucked." I spend maybe another hour in bed with nothing but my boxers on. I'm already running late, but fuck it, it won't kill Max if I'm late for work just once.

I'm quick to change clothes and rushed out of my home to search for y/n. I find her in the training room running a small squad through some drills. Without a single care I kiss her cheek, "Good morning, my dagger. Sorry for interrupting, but I just needed a small taste of you to get through my day." Her cheeks are dusted in red, and fuck she's just so damn cute it stabs my heart, and then her expression snaps back to stone and she shoos me away.

I catch James in the small squad of men, he's smiling and my heart drops as I remember our bet. I take my time walking up to my office. "How the Hell am I going to escape this?"

Today was exhausting, and I received far to many lewd comments about my relationship with Eric than I'd like. But now I can finally go visit Eric at the bar. For a guy known to be heartless and terrifying he's an amazing boyfriend.

Many people, especially Four, had warned me that Eric was likely dating me as a joke, but I highly doubt he'd continue fake dating me for a whole month as a joke. It's definitely not a joke. Yeah he can be mean, really mean, and cruel, especially to initiates, and yes he's heartless to seemingly everyone here in Dauntless but he has exceptions for certain people... I'm important to him, he's not dating me as a joke, sure he's capable of being that cruel but... he isn't doing that... right?

I try to shake the uneasy thoughts from my head, their just stupid fears, that's all. I pull on Eric's jacket and quickly make my way down to the bar.

I've been sitting alone at this table for nearly 20 minutes, and I can feel the eyes on me. My stomach is a storm of unease, and my doubt is ever growing. This isn't the first time Eric has been late to a date. When we first started dating, he had been cocky, full of himself, half the time it sounded like he was trying to talk me into bed. Despite our first date, it had taken me a while to finally, truly open up to him, to trust him, and believe he wouldn't hurt me. Yet here I am, sitting alone at a table a week later.

It's been a fucking hour, and I swear I can hear the whispers, feel the eyes. The waitress looks at me with contempt, as if she's won something and I lost at whatever she was winning it. My unease eventually turns to frustration and soon I'm walking through the dimly lit halls in search of Eric.

"Fuck me man, and here I thought you were incapable of a relationship." James, without a damn doubt that's his voice.

"Well I'm full of surprises." Eric? That's definitely him. Why the Hell is he with James instead of me, and why are they talking about relationships?

I stalk closer to where I'd heard them speaking, James is running his mouth about a girl's ass making it easy for me to find the two men, and watch them while remaining unseen.

"Have you both kissed, better yet fucked?" James asks and it makes my stomach turn sour. Kissing is fine, but asking about my sex life is not. Not that I have one, yet.

Eric huffs, "no we haven't had sex, and unless you count kissing on the cheek, then we haven't kissed yet."

"Ah, so in that case it isn't love." James has a concerningly victorious look.

"Just because we haven't kissed doesn't mean she isn't in love with me. She's never kissed a guy before, let alone have sex." Eric sounds somewhat annoyed.

"Well damn, a virgin, and unkisssed, I think I may need a taste myself. It's been awhile since I've tried a girl like that. Though-"

"James," Eric warns, his voice deep and posture tense. I wish I could see Eric's face, but all I can see is his back.

"Fine, fine, so you claim she's in love with you. Now I can argue that, but I saw the way that girl looked at you when you visited her last week. She looked at you the way a girl looks at a puppy." James shrugs, and then his eyes lock with mine and he smiles. "It seems I've lost our bet Eric. You can be romantic, and you are capable of making any girl, even ugly miss grumpy, genuinely fall for you. I can't wait to watch her face and see her cry when you tell her you're whole relationship has been fake."

"James-"

"Then aging you should definitely keep dating her. Think about it, maybe she'll stop being so closed off and grumpy, better yet, she'll stop being so strict on my squad. Perhaps you can make her give me a few promotions."

"Playing with her emotions to make her date me and fall in love was-"

I don't think, I just run. I don't stop running, not until my legs give out and I find myself sitting in a train car. That asshole! I trusted him, I loved him, and yet that fucker was using me for his own sick gain! My comm link keeps ringing, and in my frustration I stupidly throw it out of the train.

I'm crying so hard I can barely breathe, my chest hurts like Hell, and my vision is so blurry from tears that I can barely see shit. It was fake, it was all fake. Everything he said was fake! I was nothing to him! Absolutely nothing!

I curl up, and I hate myself for doing it, but I pull his jacket tighter around me. "Gods how can I be so fucking stupid... they warned me, so many fucking times and I ignored them like an idiot."

The sun is rising by the time I get off the train. It's freezing cold, snow covers the street and snowflakes fall from the sky. I glance at the cameras as I walk back to the compound. No doubt Four is watching me through them, or is already at my apartment with a whole essay of a lecture awaiting me. I don't even know if I have the energy to keep walking. So I just lean against a brick wall inside an alley.

I don't know how much time has passed, I'm shivering uncontrollably but I just can't seem to move.

"Y/n." His voice is deep, soft, and full of warmth and I find myself crying all over again.

"Four, I... you were right I-" He interrupts me with a tight hug and kisses my forehead.

"Later, let's just get you home and warm." Four bundles me up in a spare jacket and scarf he brought before picking me up and carrying me home. The exhaustion hits me hard and I unwillingly let myself drift asleep.

I'm bundled in thick warm blankets when I wake up, two warm hands hold one of mine. I finally open my eyes. I'm in my bedroom, Four is leaning against the wall near my door, his knuckles scabbed, and splattered with blood. Confused I look to my left to see who the Hell is holding my hand. To my suprise it's Eric. His gaze is locked on our hands, eyes are rimmed in red, bruises decorate his jaw, right eye, and possibly other places, even his nose looks broken.

"Why the fuck are you here?" Eric's head snaps up and he looks at me in such a way that I'm convinced he actually does love me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, what happened- no, what I did was wrong. You didn't deserve any of that." A tear slips down his cheek and I roll my eyes at his pathetic attempt of gaining my pity. "Yes, James and I made a bet with him betting I couldn't make you fall in love with me. It was wrong, and it was cruel for me to manipulate you like that-"

"Get out." I snap.

"Hear him out, trust me," Four interrupts. "We both know Eric isn't the guy to let himself get beat up, especially without throwing at least one punch back." It dons on me that Four beat the shit out of Eric, but that's not what suprises me, it's the fact that Four is utterly unscathed. Eric actually let Four beat him up after what he did to me.

"I- at first it was fun, but then I started to develop feelings and holy shit I fell. I fell hard and fast and I didn't know what to do." Eric's voice breaks and he looks away from me. "You were like a goddam dagger, burrowed deep into my heart and seared into my brain. I thought, maybe to could just let myself win the bet instead of calling it off, you'd never have to know and we'd get to keep dating. You don't have to forgive me, but please know ever I've told you, it was the truth and I do love you. I love you so much it hurts."

"A part of me wants to believe you, Eric. However, the other part of me knows you're nothing more than a lying manipulative snake. I don't want to ever see you again, don't talk to me, don't even look at me."

Defeated Eric finally rids himself from my room.

"What happened to James?" I ask Four.

Four smiles, "Eric broke his jaw."

I sigh, deep in thought, "Did Eric actually let you hit him."

"Pretty much. I found him outside frantically looking for you, I punched first before asking questions. I had already seen all I needed to through the cameras. He didn't fight back once, just stood there and took my beating. I yelled st him for quite a bit before dragging his ass here then returning to the security cameras and waiting for you to step off the train."

"Four?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. And if I ever act that stupid again, slap the shit out of me."

[loveydovey-leviathan]

(hi im the one that asked abt teen!reader) thanks for ur answer !! :D i’m 17 myself so i didn’t intend to send in anyth w a younger reader haha ^^

my req was that i wanted to ask for hcs w the cast abt how they’d react to (teen) reader fawning over their crush (from the human world LOL), it’s platonic either way so i’m not sure if adding teen here makes a difference.. 🤔

obey me x gn! teen! reader

a/n: -> written as platonic. had a lot of fun doing this request! i feel like the core difference when adding teen to the mix instead of an implied adult reader is that the bros would definitely be more protective. if mc/reader is an adult who has a crush on some random human, then they wouldn't be as scrutinizing of them.

cw: ooc. brothers only (minus satan). a lot of repeating words and sentences

.

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑:

He jokes about seeing his little siblings as babies still, but there is definitely an element of truth to them.

When he first finds out about your little crush, he kind of just shrugs it off. It's normal for people to develop little crushes every now and again.

But he starts getting slightly irritated when he hears you fawning. Despite that, he makes sure to listen to you.

If he worries that it might be getting serious, he makes sure to give you a lecture about what you deserve talk to you.

He isn't going to stop you from having a crush but if he thinks they're not good for you, you'll be hearing from him a lot lol.

If they hurt you in some way, they will be facing... certain repercussions.

If you want to visit them, he is not the brother you should ask because he'll most likely say no unless it's a really dire emergency.

Overall, pretty chill considering how overprotective he is as long as he deems them worthy of someone he cares about.

𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍:

He's freaking out.

Definitely the brother who spoils and makes time to hang out with you the most, so when he hears about your crush, he becomes a goddamn investigator.

Keeps asking questions about what they like, what they do in their free time, how much you like them. Once he's finished with the interrogation, he side-eyes you like you just told him you loved rainbow pizza (he finds that shit disgusting).

He's so annoying about your crush, I'm sorry. Whenever you bring them up in a conversation, he makes sure to complain and roll his eyes.

If you want to visit them, he's your go-to big bro. It does not take a lot of convincing to make him teleport you to a hang-out.

But even if he is a little shit about it, he still makes sure to listen carefully when you talk about them and reminds you that they "better be treatin' you right".

𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍:

Him and Asmo are the best to talk to about your crush. They WILL listen no matter what.

As long as you listen about his crushes, he's more than happy to listen about yours.

If you're crush is someone you can hang out with and not like a celebrity crush, he lowkey gets kinda jealous 'cuz all of his crushes are either fictional or really popular, so he doesn't get to do that not like he would have the guts to anyway.

Will not put in the effort to help you in visiting them, but he will buy a bunch of equipment so you can talk to them through facetime and gaming (it comes with a pretty heavy price though).

𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐒:

He's so happy that you have someone to like in that way <3

Your talks last for literal hours into the night. If you're into make-up, nail art or skin care, he'll definitely help you when the two of you gossip.

He has the juiciest details in his relationships and will tell you almost everything, but he won't push you to do the same.

As much as he likes to have fun, he probably gives the most solid advice and encourages you to go for it the most out of the rest of his brothers.

He won't help you visit the human world though. Too much work.

𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐁:

Is the most nonchalant about the whole thing.

As long as you give him something to eat, he'll listen to you simp.

Isn't really interested in your crush but he makes note of the important things like how they treat you and what they like just in case he meets them.

If they hurt you, he won't do anything rash because he doesn't want to embarrass you, but he'll push you to try and let go.

If he thinks they're nice, he won't really mention asking them out officially and just reckons you'll do it in your own time.

Doesn't give much input and mostly quietly listens, other than a few nods, hums, burps and growls here and there.

He'll help you visit the human world if you give him the right food. If it's not good enough, he won't do much and deems it too much trouble. Lucifer might put him on dinner duty and force him to not "taste-test" the food.

𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑:

He is the worst listener of all. He does not care in the slightest.

Any time you rant to him about the person you like, he will fall asleep in 2 minutes flat.

The only time he'll put effort into anything that has to do with your crush is when they make you sad. He's lazy as shit but it's for you so he'll attempt to make your crush's life a very big minor inconvenience for a few days as revenge. He'll also try to convince you to join him btw.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 46

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 7k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Friday, February 5th; 1:50 PM - Manchester Airport.

It's hard to describe the feeling I have about what I'm experiencing right now. Not too long ago, this was a situation I couldn't have imagined. I lead the way ahead of my two instructors as we board the plane that will take off for Barcelona.

“Damn, Barcelona, really!” comments Ingrid. “How can you even think for a second about leaving that incredible city to live here?”

I raise an eyebrow, surprised that she knows something like that about me. Well, to be honest, it's not a secret anymore, but I had never talked about it directly with Ingrid.

“A place isn't everything,” I shrug.

I smile when I see Shay welcoming passengers in the distance. When she sees me, she seems to recognize me because she smiles back. We’re almost at her station now.

“Hello, Ona. I was starting to think you weren’t coming.”

“It almost didn’t happen,” I half-joked.

“What happened to you?”

I tend to forget the state of my face, but thanks to people’s comments, I’m reminded of it. According to Lucy, everything is healing well, though it will still take some time before it all disappears. At least my aches and pains are less severe, which is already a good thing.

“Oh, um…”

I stop when I feel a familiar warmth settle on the small of my back. I turn around to find Lucy.

“We're blocking the way, baby.”

I blush, still not quite used to this kind of comment in public. Shay smiles at me, not helping to ease my embarrassment.

“She’s right,” she says. “I’ll come to see you at your seat later, hoping you don’t fall asleep first.”

I nod, smiling timidly. It seems like she’s remembered my habits, even with all the passengers she sees every day.

“Have a good flight.”

“Thanks.”

I reach for Lucy’s hand to hold it as we make our way to our numbered seats. I sigh when we’re finally settled after all that waiting. I find myself in the middle because I let Ingrid have the window seat, which she seemed to appreciate. I get the impression she hasn’t flown much in her life.

“Who was that?” she asks me.

“Who? The flight attendant?”

“Yeah. You seem to know each other well.”

“Don’t play the jealous card, Lex,” Ingrid teases.

“I’m not jealous,” she retorts. “It was just a question.”

Since she found out about us, Ingrid hasn’t stopped teasing Lucy. If I understood correctly, she has been teasing her since we first met. It seems like I’ve been tormenting Lucy for much longer than I thought. Now, Ingrid brags about being right and that it was about time she opened her eyes. I gently take Lucy’s hand. My gestures are still very timid, but she does everything to make me comfortable. Not only is this the first time I’ve accepted being seen in public as a couple, but it’s also so strange. This is Lucy we’re talking about—the woman who caught my eye on day one and whom I thought was unattainable. If you’d told me a few months ago that we’d be where we are now, I never would have believed it. Plus, since Feli, I’ve had a big problem with commitment, and since Lucy is my first relationship since her, she’s bearing the brunt of it. I’m lucky that she’s very understanding. She lets me go at my own pace. I’m almost glad we’re still in school because we can’t behave like a couple there. It will give me time to get used to our new relationship. The only problem is that now it’s the weekend, which means we’ll be far from school. I’m a bit anxious about how it will go. Lucy looks at me curiously, reminding me of her earlier question, which makes me smile suddenly.

“Her name’s Shay,” I finally reply. “We became friends the day I came back to Manchester in a bad state. She took care of me and gave me a sleeping pill to help me rest.”

“Oh,” she relaxes, starting to play with my fingers. “I hope you thanked her.”

“Of course,” I giggle.

Lucy has become completely different since we made our relationship official. She’s much more expressive now, and I have to say I appreciate it. I finally know what she’s thinking, especially when it comes to jealousy. Although she doesn’t express it physically, she asks a lot more questions than before. That was the case this morning during our study session when she brought up the topic of Alessia. She noticed that we’ve gotten closer and used our study time as an excuse to find out what we do during those moments and also to gauge how much I like her. I could tell our relationship bothered her, but she didn’t comment on it. I kiss her on the cheek at this thought before letting go of her hand. She slightly frowns at this gesture. We’re about to take off, so I want to prepare for the flight before being limited by the seatbelt later. I take out a pair of earphones and offer them to Lucy, but she doesn’t take them. I sit up to see what she’s doing and realize she’s captivated by Shay, who’s still standing by the doors. She’s quite pretty now that I look at her again. I narrow my eyes and wave my hand in front of Lucy.

“Sorry, were you saying something?”

“No,” I giggle. “I just wanted you to take the earphones.”

“Oh,” she says, taking them.

“Shall we watch a movie?” I suggest. “I’ll fall asleep if we don’t do anything.”

“We can. Unless you’d rather sleep,” she teases.

“Oh no, don’t worry. I can change my habits for you.”

“That’s sweet,” she smiles.

She leans in to peck my lips. This simple, spontaneous gesture fills my stomach with butterflies. Maybe this weekend will be good for us after all. Her role as a responsible person will finally be out of the picture, and we’ll be able to enjoy ourselves. I was starting to stagnate with all the studying she’s made me do since last night. It was far from fun, but I can’t blame her. She wants me to be ready for my upcoming tests before we leave, and I am now. Thanks to her and the tons of exercises she prepared for me, I’m now unshakeable on my management lessons. It was excessive, but at least I’m free for the weekend. I reach into my bag to pull out my laptop. It gets stuck, prompting me to lean over to unjam it.

“Nice butt, Batlle,” comments Ingrid.

I was about to reply, but a throat clearing interrupts me. I notice Shay when I glance over at Lucy. She’s looking at me with amusement.

“Sorry to interrupt, but you need to buckle up. We’re about to take off.”

I notice the seatbelt sign flashing above my head. It seems like she always has to remind me.

“Oops. I’ll do it right now.”

I grab the seatbelt and fasten it right away… Well, actually, Lucy does it for me when she sees how I was struggling. A small click assures me it’s properly secured. I double-check to make sure the light isn’t flashing anymore, and it’s not.

“Still as talented as ever.”

“Well, you have to be good for something.”

“Hey!”

“You know I’m joking,” I giggle before turning back to Shay. “We didn’t get to chat earlier. How are you, Shay? We can speak casually, right? We seem to be about the same age.”

“Yes, I think we can,” she smiles. “Unfortunately, I can’t stay long. I have to finish my round and then head back to my station. My supervisor would come down on me otherwise.”

“Oh, well, I won’t keep you any longer then.”

"Thank you. Have a good flight," she says as she continues on her way. "Oh, and lots of happiness to you both."

I don't have time to thank her before she's already off to check on the other passengers. Lucy's hand gently slides onto my thigh.

"She's nice," she comments.

"Did you see? She's cool, right?"

"Mmhmm."

I finally manage to get my laptop out of my bag. Lucy removes her hand so I can place it on my lap.

"Do you want to watch with us, Ingrid?" I offer.

"No, I think I'll take a nap instead. But thanks for asking."

"Too bad for you."

The intercom finally announces our takeoff. I plug in my hard drive while my laptop boots up. Meanwhile, Ingrid disconnects from the world with her headphones and the view outside. The plane begins to tremble slightly, a sign that we’re finally taking off. I glance at Lucy, who suddenly seems tense.

"Are you afraid of flying?"

"A little," she admits.

I smile as I notice her grip tighten on the armrest. I didn't know about this fear. I didn't even think she could be afraid of anything. I gently take her hand so she can hold mine instead.

"Hey, look at me."

"Sorry... It's just the takeoff that always gets to me."

Goodness, she's adorable when she blushes. For once, it's not me. I reach for her neck to kiss her. My gesture seems to have its effect, as her muscles relax, and her grip on my hand loosens slightly.

"Don't apologize. It's okay to have fears. You should have just told me."

"I should have, yes. I'm sorry."

She rests her head on my shoulder, gently rubbing her nose against my neck. It's rare for me to be the pillow, but I love this role too. I hand Lucy an earbud after plugging it in. The plane has gone quiet, which will allow us to enjoy the movies in peace. I'm not sure I'll make it through the whole film, but I don't dare move now that Lucy seems to have found her comfortable spot against me.

"We can continue Harry Potter if you want," she suggests as I scroll through my movies.

"Really?"

"Of course. You wanted to see them anyway."

"Cool. Thanks."

I quickly find where we left off last time and start it in full-screen mode.

"Can you sit up for a moment, please?"

"Are you kicking me out?"

"Of course not," I chuckle. "I just want to get comfortable."

She sits up with a groan, giving me the chance to settle into my seat. A sigh of relief escapes her lips when she finds her position against me again. I finally relax too. Just a few more hours and we'll be home.

Friday, February 5th; 11:05 PM - Barcelona Airport.

Getting off the plane is always difficult. Even more so today because of the position we were in with Lucy. Unsurprisingly, we fell asleep along the way. My limbs are seriously stiff now. I can't be the only one, given how Lucy stretches. We wave goodbye to Shay, with whom I managed to have a brief conversation before landing, and then we head down the hallway leading to the airport. Lucy takes the initiative to hold my hand. Unlike us, still struggling to wake up, Ingrid is full of energy and makes it known with her good mood.

"Who's picking us up again?" she asks me.

"Hector, my driver."

"Driver, as in personal driver?"

"Uh... Yeah, you could say that."

"Seriously?" she laughs.

"Hey! Don’t make fun. Hector's super cool, too!"

"You really do get chauffeured everywhere by everyone."

She's not wrong, even if she's joking. Buying a car will be one of my priorities once I leave school. I'll become much more independent. There are advantages to being driven, especially for nights out, but otherwise, it's much better to get around on your own. Speaking of Hector, I smile as we reach the end of the hallway and spot him in the distance.

"Is that him?" Lucy asks, looking around.

"Yeah. Come on!" I say, pulling Lucy along with me.

"Take it easy, we have time now," grumbles Ingrid, struggling to keep up.

My impatience makes me walk quickly. I'm eager to see everyone again. Sam immediately texted me when he heard I was coming back, thanks to my mom. He was so excited that he took charge of organizing everything with Sophia. He didn't seem to know I was bringing company. At least, he didn’t mention it. He'll probably tease me when he finds out about Lucy and me. I've told him countless times that I wasn't ready for a relationship, especially not in Manchester. And now I've done the complete opposite. As we reach Hector, I let go of Lucy's hand to hug him. My embrace seems to surprise him, and it’s no wonder. We're both far from being touchy people, but he responds without question. I've missed them all so much. After all, I haven't seen anyone since Christmas.

"Hey. It's good to see you again. Let me introduce you to Lucy and Ingrid, friends of mine," I say, introducing them.

"Friends, huh," he smiles knowingly, making me blush. "Hello, ladies. It's nice to meet you."

Lucy isn't one to hide, so I tend to forget myself around her. She chuckles and takes my hand again, likely confirming my chauffeur's suspicions.

"Hello. Thank you for picking us up," she says.

"No problem. It's my job, after all," he smiles.

"Did Mom spill the beans?" I ask.

"And then some," he laughs. "Samuel had to push a bit when he found out you were bringing company, but she told him everything."

I'm surprised. Not that Sam insisted, but that my mom talked about it. What's even weirder is that Sam didn't mention anything this morning when we spoke on the phone, even though he knew. I have a feeling I'm in for some teasing later.

"I see..."

"I've never flown before, but shouldn't we grab our bags?" Ingrid interrupts.

I laugh and nod. I was right again. She seemed too amazed for someone who's flown before. Her comment gets us moving toward the baggage carousel. Once we've collected our belongings, we head outside to meet Hector's service car. I sit in the front since neither of the girls wanted the seat. The ride is peaceful. Hector, usually so quiet, surprises me by chatting with my instructors to get to know them. Thanks to that, the trip feels shorter. Upon arrival, I chuckle at Ingrid's exaggerated comments about the sight of my house. Well, it is true that it's luxurious and very impressive from the outside. She won't be disappointed with the interior... Hector drives the car into the property after the gate and garage doors open via the remote controls.

"What kind of world do you actually live in?"

"A miserable one," I murmur.

"I doubt that, given where we are," she retorts.

"Believe me, if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that money isn't everything."

If I had the choice back then, I would have much preferred to live with my dad. He earned less money since my mom is a renowned surgeon and her boyfriend has a good position in the Police, but at least I would have had his love. His death left me feeling empty, which led to my downward spiral. It's not something I would have experienced with my mom. Besides receiving regular transfers, our relationship is unbearable. To think that she even blocked my access when I left home. At least now I manage it again. To be honest, I've never really taken advantage of it. The only times I've used it were for my outings, and now I also use it for my plane tickets. Everything else, I've saved, and I'm glad I did. I've always wanted to leave home early, and I'm closer than ever to that goal given the future that awaits me. We finally get out of the car, and Hector helps us with our bags. We thank him and wish him goodnight before heading inside my house. I tell the girls to be quiet since I'm not sure if Joan is already asleep. I lead the way into my entrance hall, gently rolling my suitcase on the floor. I quickly press the light switch to prevent the girls from bumping into any furniture in the dark.

- Ona!  

I barely have time to turn towards the living room doorway before a little bundle literally jumps into my arms. Looks like we didn’t need to be discreet after all. I hoist him onto my hip, letting him cuddle me as much as he wants.

- Hey, what are you still doing up? I thought you’d be in bed.  

- You should know him by now. He was determined to wait up for you.

My smile widens as I see Sophia standing beside her. I kiss Joan on the head, then move towards Sophia to hug her, ignoring my brother’s complaints between us.

- I missed you guys.  

- We missed you too. And who are these lovely girls with you?  

- This is Lucy and Ingrid. They’re spending the weekend with us.

- Nice to meet you both. It’s great to finally put faces to your names.  

- Are you going to say hi? I whispered to Joan, who was curiously watching them.

He blushed and shook his head, then buried herself into my neck. I rolled my eyes playfully as I moved closer to the girls, which made Joan press even more against me. He’s always been shy around new people, but it seems even worse now.

- Oh come on, Joan. They’re really nice.  

He shook his head again, making Lucy laugh, which in turn brought a smile to my face. I love hearing that sound and seeing her dimples.

- Leave him be. He’ll say hi when he’s more comfortable.  

- I didn’t know you were good with kids.  

- My brother is a special case, I replied to Ingrid, kissing the top of Joan’s head.

I turned to Sophia, who had a blissful smile on her face. It was surprising to see her still here. Normally, she goes home on weekends since my mom and Marcus are either around or take turns. I’m glad we came just for this. I would’ve been annoyed if she had to stay just for us.

- When did my mom and Marcus leave?  

- This afternoon.  

- Oh, you could’ve left and let Hector take care of Joan. He could’ve taken him to the airport.  

- I didn’t want to bother him, and besides, it gave me a chance to see you too.  

- You’re so sweet. How are you?  

- I’m good. And how about you? I’ve never seen your mom so happy since she came back from Manchester. She hasn’t stopped talking about the great day she spent with you... I have to admit, I was a bit surprised, she smiled.  

- Oh, um... Yeah, I replied awkwardly, running a hand through my hair. It was nice. Thanks to Lucy, I said, pointing to her.

- So she’s the lucky one? Your mom couldn’t stop talking about her either, she teased. You were so nervous about coming out.  

- Who’s Lucy? Joan finally popped her head out of my neck.

- That’s her, I said, pointing to Lucy again.  

- Is she your girlfriend? Mom talked about her.

Wow, Lucy must’ve really made an impression if my mom mentioned her so much. I chuckled and nodded. Joan looked at Lucy more intently, tightening her grip around my neck. He seemed a little intimidated.

- You’re still going to sleep with me tonight, right? I don’t want you to leave.  

- I’m not going anywhere. As for sleeping together, we’ll see, I said, glancing briefly at Lucy.

I didn’t want to agree without checking with Lucy first. We’re a couple now, and I’m not sure she’d appreciate me imposing my little brother in our bed.

- Of course she’ll sleep with you, Lucy answered my brother. But only if you share her with me a little too!  

Joan relaxed in my arms. He looked at Lucy for a moment, as if judging her, before nodding with a small smile. Lucy must have that special something that makes everyone like her. At least she’s already managed to win over my brother.

- Hey everyone!  

The front door slammed shut as Mapi burst into the room. Sometimes I wonder if this is really my house or hers. My mom had the idea of giving her a key so she could come by whenever she wanted. Now that I think about it, maybe she did that because she knew we were together for a long time back then.

- I know I’m a little late, but I really wanted to finish my project so I could relax this weekend.

She came over to greet us one by one with a kiss on each cheek. She lingered a bit longer with Ingrid, then surprisingly hugged Lucy before moving on to Sophia and finally Joan and me. She hugged me tightly, a gesture we both understood. We missed each other, especially after these last few emotional weeks. She pulled back with a smile.

- I’m glad to see you doing well. A bit battered, but still in good shape, she teased. And you, my little terror! Not even a hello for me? she said to my little brother.

Joan gave her a kiss, but my best friend pretended not to be convinced. She took him from my arms to give him some tickles. Joan burst out laughing, squirming against her, just as ticklish as I am, if not more. I took advantage of their moment to return to Lucy. She welcomed me by placing her hand on my hip to pull me closer.

- Nice house, she murmured. I’m looking forward to seeing your world.  

- We’ll go up soon. But if you want to know the truth, I prefer your apartment, I admitted.

It’s much cozier than this big house. I immediately felt at home the first time she took me there. Maybe she’s my "home." At that thought, I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on her shoulder, prompting her to wrap her arm around mine.

- You look exhausted.  

- I am.  

- That’s hardly possible. You slept one hours on the plane, little sleepyhead.  

- You did too, remember?  

- I never said I was tired.

I buried my head in her neck, savoring this simple moment. Maybe I’ll actually be able to relax this weekend. I’m starting to think I can.

- Can we go to bed now? I suggested.  

- Great idea, Mapi replied. The little rascal should already be in bed anyway, it’s getting late.  

- I’m not a rascal, Joan grumbled.

Mortified, my little brother hid in Mapi as we all laughed. The sight warmed my heart. Joan is so shy that he rarely gets close to adults, but my best friend is one of the few exceptions. He tends to interact with her the same way she does with me. I hope he’ll accept Lucy in the same way over time. Nothing would make me happier.

You’re right, he’s got sleepy eyes, I finally said.

He's far past her bedtime. Usually, he goes to bed around ten p.m. on weekends, and now it’s already past midnight.

"Are you two sharing a room?" I asked Mapi and Ingrid.

They exchanged a quick glance before Ingrid shrugged. It seems things aren't going so well between them. Lucy was right when she said there would be some tension at the beginning.

"I don't mind... Unless it bothers you?" Mapi asked timidly.

"No. We can sleep together."

"Cool. Can I take any room, Onita?"

"Yes, of course."

"Great, see you in a bit then. Should I put Joan in your room?"

I looked at her, now dozing off in Mapi's arms. It seems the wait wore her out.

"Yes, you can."

We wished them goodnight as the girls disappeared up the stairs. I finally turned to Sophia.

"Thanks for staying to watch her. You should head home now. They must be waiting for you."

"You know everyone must be asleep by now. How are you doing? I didn't want to bring it up in front of Joan, but you're pretty banged up."

"I’ve been through worse," I shrugged. "And I had a good nurse, so I’m okay," I replied, leaning closer to Lucy.

"I see," she smiled. "I’m happy for you... for both of you, actually."

"Thanks, Sophia... Thanks for everything."

"It’s nothing. Your mom asked me to stay available this weekend, so don’t hesitate to call if you need anything," she said.

I nodded, thanking her. I don't like making her come back on weekends, but knowing the girls, we'll probably go out tomorrow night, so the offer is appreciated.

"Goodnight, girls."

"Goodnight," Lucy and I replied in unison.

We waited for her to leave before heading up the stairs with our suitcases. I chuckled as I heard Lucy grumbling behind me. It was far from easy, especially since I forgot to turn on the downstairs light. It must be even harder for her since she can’t see anything. I turned on the light once we reached the top and immediately went to help her. I guided her to my room, where a small lamp was already on. Joan was fast asleep in the middle of my bed. I was surprised to also find Ingrid there. I quickly understood her presence when I heard a noise coming from my closet.

"Ouch!"

"What are you looking for, Maps?" I asked, exasperated, while setting my suitcase down beside the closet.

"Ah, there you are! I can’t find Joan's pajamas," she replied.

"Maybe because they’re in his room?" I suggested.

"I told you so," Ingrid said.

"No, I’m pretty sure you always kept them here," she argued.

"And what do you think his room is for?" I rolled my eyes. "Never mind, I’ll handle it now that I’m here."

"Oh well... I’ll just grab my own pajamas then."

She dove back into my closet. My house is practically her second home, so she has plenty of clothes here. Most of them have been here since our relationship ended. She never bothered to take them back. I groaned as she dropped a pile of clothes at least three times. The girls stifled their laughter behind me. I glanced at the mess she made. She finally managed to pull out a pj set from the now-disheveled pile.

"Got it!" she announced, returning to us. "Sorry for the mess and, uh... the chaos," she grimaced, looking back. "You don’t mind cleaning it up, do you?"

"Get out before I change my mind."

"Thanks," she said nervously.

"Don’t forget your toothbrush," I teased.

"Oh yeah! I’ll be right back."

I held back a laugh as she almost ran to my bathroom. I looked at Lucy, who seemed just as amused. We were probably thinking the same thing. Mapi reappeared with her toothbrush and a tube of makeup remover.

"Well, goodnight, girls."

"Goodnight."

As soon as the door closed behind Ingrid and Mapi, we burst out laughing.

"Oh my God! I’ve never seen her like that before."

She was so stressed; it’s not like her. I wonder why. Ingrid has proven to me many times that she’s not a difficult person. She’s very kind and even supported my relationship with Lucy before it even began.

"I don’t know how Ingrid will manage to stay so calm. Mapi’s definitely going to drive her crazy."

"You think so? Poor thing."

"Yeah," she smiled. "But don’t worry, Ingrid will know how to handle her. Still, I’m a little jealous of Mapi."

"Oh yeah? Why’s that?"

"How come she has so many things in your room?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, that," I grimaced. "Well, she practically lived here when I came back, so she kind of took over my room. Let’s just say she doesn’t get along with her parents, so my house has always been her refuge. But she has an apartment now, so she could take them back."

"Relax," she laughed. "I wasn’t asking for that. It was just a question."

"Sorry," I replied, embarrassed.

"Can I take a look around?" she changed the subject.

"Of course, go ahead."

With a smile on her lips and a curious look, she began exploring my room. It’s quite large and divided into three areas. There’s my closet on the left, my bed in the middle, and a small sitting area on the right. I call it that because there’s a small sofa and a little table in front of my TV, which is mounted on the wall. The colors are neutral, with my personal touch all around. I painted the walls back in the day. My mom’s reaction was priceless the first time she saw it.

"It’s beautiful," she murmured.

"I had my teenage rebellion a bit late."

She chuckled as she approached the wall where the entrance door is. A massive forest is painted across the entire length. I’ve always loved nature. She looked up at the ceiling, where I had painted different shades of blue and purple with small white spots for the stars. My room is really like my sanctuary, my private domain. Few people have had the chance to see it.

"You did a great job. The result is stunning. You love nature?" she asked, making me nod. "Maybe we could go hiking or camping one day."

"Why not," I replied, smiling at the thought.

The bubble that had formed between us was suddenly burst by a noise at the door, followed by it opening to reveal Mapi. She looked even more stressed than before.

"Sorry to bother you again. I-I forgot the cotton pads."

"There are some in the drawers of every bathroom, Mapi," I said, raising an eyebrow.

She groans in frustration and then sighs, running a hand over her face. She really seems at her wit's end.

"Relax, Mapi."

"I’d like to see you try! You were in my shoes not too long ago, remember? Seriously, girls, I don’t know what to do. She’s so cold towards me. It feels like she hates me. What should I do?"

"Maybe it's because she does hate you," Lucy murmurs.

"But why!? I haven’t done anything wrong!"

"You're avoiding your relationship. It’s as simple as that. Ingrid doesn’t like being kept waiting. Own up to your feelings, and maybe she’ll change her behavior."

"I was just trying to do things right," Mapi sighs. "I wasn’t avoiding her… I couldn’t exactly start our relationship long-distance!"

"Really?" Lucy challenges. "I think you’re just being a coward. Do I need to remind you that Ingrid is my best friend? If you hurt her, you’ll have serious problems with me, no matter how much you supported me with Ona."

I had never seen Lucy so serious about Ingrid before. I knew they were close, but I never realized how deep their bond went.

"T-That’s the last thing I want... I’m just trying to handle this situation and do things right, I promise."

"You’re not handling anything right now. It’s easy to send sweet messages and then run away. If you want to prove that you’re ready to move forward, then own up to your words and kiss her."

I bite my lip, seeing Mapi's state. She clearly wasn’t expecting Lucy to react this way. Neither was I, honestly. It’s rare for her to swear or lose her temper. It’s almost... sexy. Mapi can only manage a nod.

"Th-Thanks. Good night."

She leaves as quickly as she came. She’s probably even more shaken up after what Lucy just said.

"Don’t you think you went a little hard on her?" I giggle.

"She just needed a push. Trust me, she needed it," she says, making me laugh.

She pulls me close when I start to move toward her, placing her hands on my cheeks. I close my eyes to enjoy the soft caress of her thumbs. She takes advantage of my slightly parted lips to kiss me tenderly. The kiss deepens quickly as her hand slides up to my neck under my hair. Her touch and the way her tongue meets mine make me feel breathless, like I’m losing my footing.

"Ona?" Joan whimpers.

I jump, accidentally biting Lucy’s tongue in the process. She groans in pain, pulling back. I bite my lip now, seeing her bring her hand to her mouth.

"Damn, Luce ! Are you okay?!"

"It hurtsh," she lisps.

Under different circumstances, I might have laughed, but right now, it’s just embarrassing. Her lisp is kind of cute, though, making me stifle a laugh.

"I’m sorry, Luce... Let me see."

This time, I can’t hold back my laughter when she actually sticks out her tongue to show me.

"Stop laughing! It'sh not funny!"

"Sorry. Please, show me again."

"No, you'll laugh again."

"Ona," Joan calls again.

"I’m coming, Joan."

"Take care of him. Can I use your bathroom?"

"Of course, you don’t have to ask. Make yourself at home. I’ll grab Joan’s pajamas from his room and be right back."

I kiss her cheek and go to get Joan’s pajamas and toothbrush. At least, that was the plan until I couldn’t find the toothbrush anywhere in the bathroom. Giving up on the search, I head back to my room. I stop at the door when I see Lucy sitting on the edge of my bed, deep in conversation with my little brother. It’s such an adorable scene that I hesitate to interrupt. But then Lucy notices me. She smiles warmly and motions for me to join them by holding out her hand. I walk over to find Joan wide awake. He was fast asleep just fifteen minutes ago. I hope he’ll fall asleep quickly again.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, we were just talking," Lucy answers, wrapping her arm around me.

"Cool... Hey, Joan, where’s your toothbrush?"

He timidly points to my bathroom. I really did search for it for nothing.

"Go brush your teeth."

"But—"

"No buts. Go on!"

It’s always a battle over this, but I’m glad he doesn’t put up much of a fight tonight. He trudges off to my bathroom, dragging his feet.

"He’s a lot like you," Lucy teases, laughing.

"Hey!" I say, playfully hitting her.

She laughs, pulling me between her legs. I instinctively place my hands on her shoulders to keep from falling on her.

"How’s your tongue?"

"It’s better. I brushed my teeth to ease the pain."

"I’m really sorry. That was so embarrassing," I say, blushing.

"It’s okay," she laughs. "It’s not your fault. These things happen," she says, resting her head on my chest.

She sighs, hugging me tightly. She must be as tired as I am. I smile, seeing her so peaceful against me.

"I’m glad you came back home with me..."

"Me too."

"You make me feel at ease wherever you are."

She lifts her head to smile at me tenderly.

"We’re going to do things right. I promise."

I nod eagerly. I know we will. As long as she’s by my side, I feel invincible.

"I’m looking forward to tomorrow. You’ll finally meet Samuel. I’m sure you’ll like him."

"I’m sure I will."

"Ona?" Joan interrupts us.

I reluctantly pull away from Lucy to see my little brother standing timidly in the bathroom doorway. I go to him and pick him up. Meanwhile, Lucy has gotten up to grab her things from her suitcase. I quickly change Joan so he can get under the covers. I ask him to choose a side instead of settling in the middle as he does when we sleep with Mapi. Joan listens without fuss. Since Lucy isn’t done yet, I decide to change in the room to save time, picking out a long t-shirt and shorts from my closet.

"I really like your new girlfriend," Joan tells me. "She's really nice."

"Really? I'm glad to hear that."

I sit on the bed to take off my shoes and socks, listening to my brother talk about Lucy. Apparently, they introduced themselves and had a little chat. I'm really happy that Lucy took the first step. It means a lot to me. I take off my pants and replace them with shorts, folding the pants neatly afterward. I've always made sure to keep my room tidy without my mom having to tell me. I finish by taking off my top, and of course, that's when Lucy comes out of the bathroom. She pauses for a moment, finding me in my bra. I quickly cover myself with my pajama top, which makes her smile.

"I've seen you in worse situations than this, you know."

"That was different," I mumble. "I'm going to brush my teeth, I'll be right back."

"Aren't you going to take a shower?"

I shiver as her fingers brush against my bare hip when I pass by her. I'm sure she did it on purpose. I clutch my t-shirt a little tighter in front of me.

"Tomorrow morning… I'm too tired now," I manage to say.

"Alright, hurry up then. I'll be waiting."

I leave her space and lock myself in the bathroom, taking a deep breath. If she wanted to kill me, she almost succeeded. I quickly change, remove my makeup, and brush my teeth. I fix my hair in the mirror and catch my breath. I smile at myself in the mirror to gather some courage, but I quickly lose it when I see how ridiculous I look. I suddenly understand Mapi's nervousness, even though our situations are different. I give myself a little pep talk before leaving the bathroom. The first thing I see is Joan, peacefully asleep again. Lucy is lying on the opposite side, tapping on her phone. I slip into bed between the two of them, relieved that the bed is big enough to comfortably fit all three of us. I wouldn't have allowed Joan to stay if we were cramped like sardines. I observe Lucy, who smiles at me. I barely have time to notice she was on Instagram before she closes the app and locks her phone. She sets it on the nightstand and lies down to face me. She slides her hand under the pillow to touch mine. Her smile widens softly as her other hand reaches for my face to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Is everything okay?" she murmurs.

"Why wouldn't it be…? Do you think I'm not okay?"

She laughs softly, running her hand along my back, pulling me closer.

"No. I just think you're stressed and distracted. Are you trying to compete with Mapi?"

I blush, lowering my head. She kisses my forehead. Why am I feeling this way? It's just Lucy in front of me, the one who knows everything about me and who helped me open up to the world again in just four months.

"I'm sorry…"

"Was it my gesture that bothered you?"

She moves her hand to my hip, her eyes following the movement under the blanket. I was about to speak, but she interrupts me.

"You know," she begins, "I know it's hard for you to let yourself go with me."

"That's not it," I interrupt her.

I take a deep breath before lifting my head to face her. My heart aches when I see the look on her face. It can't be easy for her to be in a relationship with someone like me.

"I'm sorry you're bearing the brunt of my psycho ex. You're not the problem; you're the solution, I promise. Just give me some time to adjust to all this… It's hard to open up in a relationship, especially with you. You can read me better than anyone, and it's kind of unsettling."

She chuckles softly, continuing to stroke my hip. I force myself to stay calm to prove my point.

"Are you sure about that? That's not the impression you're giving me. Since we made our relationship official, you tense up at the slightest touch. It wasn't like that before."

"That's because our relationship has evolved, and I don't know what you expect from me. I don't really know how to explain it…" I murmur.

"Hey," she says, lifting my chin with her fingers. "I don't expect anything specific. I just want us to regain the connection we had before. The rest will come naturally, without forcing things."

I sigh in relief, nodding. Why was I so worried? Lucy is perfect with me. I should have talked to her about it right away. She always has the right words to reassure me.

"The only thing I ask is that you don't push me away," she continues. "I'm here for you, and I want to help you as best as I can."

"I would never make that mistake, Lucy… I know you're the only one I need. One day, you'll know everything… if you want to, of course."

"I do. Everything about you interests me," she says before kissing my forehead. "Don't hesitate to talk to me if you ever feel like it."

Once again, I nod as I snuggle closer to her. Her arms automatically tighten around me. They make me feel like I have a shield protecting me from everything around us. Some time passes before she breaks the silence with a throat clearing.

"And, um… I don't know if this needs to be said, but you know I would never raise a hand against you, right?"

"Of course," I reply with a smile hidden from her eyes. "I trust you more than anyone, Luce."

She sighs heavily, letting the air brush through my hair. She kisses the top of my head again, holding me even closer.

"Good," she murmurs. "All I care about is that you find peace within yourself."

I close my eyes, seeking as much contact with her as possible. I want to feel normal again, too. My fears and nightmares are starting to weigh on me more and more, but I have no doubt that everything will be resolved in the coming months. I'm not alone anymore. A smile crosses my face when she starts exploring my hip again with a gentle touch. If I don't think about anything, I can finally enjoy it.

"I'll get there with you by my side… I promise. But… don't take this the wrong way, but I was dreading this weekend…" I admit. "I was afraid you'd expect too much from me."

A genuine laugh escapes her lips, though she softens it, given our surroundings. I almost forget about my sister, who is peacefully sleeping behind my back.

"You idiot. Did you really think I was going to jump on you or something?"

Now that she says it like that, I feel really ridiculous for having thought such a thing. She pulls away from me, forcing me to look at her. Embarrassment washes over me when I see her teasing smile.

"S-sorry," I stammer.

"Ridiculous," she gently teases me again. "We have all the time in the world for that kind of thing; you don't have to worry about it."

"You're right, sorry," I say, my cheeks still flushed. "It's just that I don't want to deprive you either."

"You're not depriving me of anything. Having you close to me is all that matters. You don't have to worry about that. I'll make you enjoy all this again, and most importantly, I'll always keep you safe."

"I already feel safe, Luce. Why do you think I slept so well when we first started sleeping together…?"

"I messed things up more than I thought… Your nightmares have come back, haven't they?"

"You didn't mess anything up. We wouldn't be here otherwise. Stop blaming yourself for something I've already forgiven you for. And yes, my nightmares have come back, but it will get better. All we need to do now is move forward."

"You're right. We'll take it slow. We've already overcome so much, so we'll manage to live as a couple, I promise you."

I nod, completely agreeing with that.

"Okay, it's time to sleep now…"

She turns for a moment to turn off the light and then pulls me back into her arms. I find my position easily, without feeling any discomfort. I close my eyes, desperately clinging to her t-shirt. This conversation has done me good. I know everything will be okay now. She doesn't realize how much I need her. I slip my leg between hers to get as close as possible.

"Can I?" she asks, slowly sliding her hand under my tank top to touch the bare skin of my back.

I smile and nod. I enjoy her touch. She's probably the only person I allow to do so much, even if she doesn't realize it yet. I've been waiting so long for this moment when she'd finally lower her barriers too, and it's finally happening. Her warm hand returns to caress my spine with the tips of her fingers. I lift my head to try and find her lips in the dark.

"Goodnight, my love," she murmurs against my lips.

That nickname makes my stomach flutter. It throws me off so much that all I can manage is a mumbled goodnight into her chest before falling asleep peacefully.

[edenmemes]

red dead redemption 1 starters

❝ it’s wanting that gets so many folks in trouble. ❞ ❝ it ain’t no secret i didn’t get these scars falling over in church. ❞ ❝ if you win power, remember why you wanted it. ❞ ❝ you do a man wrong, he’ll shoot you for it. you do a man right…well, he still may shoot you for it. ❞ ❝ trust me. there’s things you’re better off not knowing. ❞ ❝ you remind me a lot of myself. how i used to be. stubborn and angry. ❞ ❝ i hope you will give me some warning if you get the sudden urge to kill me. ❞ ❝ my side wasn’t chosen. my side was given. ❞ ❝ a little sore, but apart from a couple extra scars, it will be as nothing happened. ❞ ❝ i don’t think you’re a bad person. a little stupid perhaps, but not rotten. ❞ ❝ i certainly don’t mind you asking, if you don’t mind me not telling. ❞ ❝ you are being deliberately obscure as a substitute for having a personality. ❞ ❝ so do tell me, have you needlessly risked your life since we last spoke? ❞ ❝ i came into this world fighting. and i’ll go out of it fighting. ❞ ❝ i hear you speak and suddenly i'm reminded of how the people i respected most in my life had a problem with authority. ❞ ❝ you're looking much better. considering you were almost buzzard food a couple days ago. ❞ ❝ power is like a drink. the more you have, the more you want. ❞ ❝ people don’t forget. nothing gets forgiven. ❞ ❝ sometimes in the service of what is right, you got to do terrible things. ❞ ❝ you have quite a story. i really am a little jealous. ❞ ❝ old friends make the worst enemies. ❞ ❝ i had everything, and gave it up in the pursuit of nothing. ❞ ❝ hah. you were always bad at lying. ❞ ❝ i’m not going to stand by and watch good people suffer. ❞ ❝ some trees flourish, others die. some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. ain't nothing fair. you know that. ❞ ❝ if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. ❞ ❝ now, if you don't mind, i'd hate to spoil such a beautiful afternoon on such beautiful land with any further unpleasantries. ❞ ❝ i, too, have a family, friend. and so that we may see our families again i suggest we part ways amicably. ❞ ❝ sometimes i tell myself that everything happens for a reason. ❞ ❝ i see the good in everybody. it’s a flaw of mine. ❞ ❝ well, try not to get yourself killed. ❞ ❝ see if you can keep your gun holstered for once. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay much attention to rumors. ❞ ❝ i swear, if it was down to me, i’d never have gone anywhere. ❞ ❝ lock all the doors. whatever happens, don’t come outside. you hear me? whatever happens. ❞ ❝ what would you care? i’m just a nuisance to you anyway. ❞ ❝ i’ve been hearing some things about you. ❞ ❝ i would rather be dead than a cynic like you. ❞ ❝ damn, a little gratitude wouldn’t kill you. ❞ ❝ trust me, i ain’t no hero. ❞ ❝ as it turns out, it's you or me. the way i see it, might as well be you. ❞ ❝ you live in a dream world. it ain’t like they tell it in books. ❞ ❝ i’m asking you to do what i say, before you get yourself killed. ❞ ❝ those who sit on the fence make a choice…in their own way. ❞ ❝ i’d do anything for you, you know that. ❞ ❝ better watch your mouth, my friend. i've cut out a man's tongue for less. ❞ ❝ there's nothing worse than a nobody thinking he's a somebody. ❞ ❝ you got it all wrong. i’ve always loved you, even now. ❞ ❝ what the hell were you thinking, going off on your own? ❞ ❝ first impressions are hard to erase. ❞ ❝ it’s a long story. too long to tell without a drink in my hand. ❞ ❝ i’m not angry. i’m disappointed. ❞ ❝ you know me. i’ll be late to my own funeral. ❞ ❝ that tone of voice ain’t so becoming on you. makes you seem all pent up and angry. ❞ ❝ you think i don’t know who you are. ❞ ❝ why don’t i get a warm and tender embrace? ❞ ❝ what do you want me to say? yippee? ❞ ❝ there’s always a choice. you’re just too blind to see. ❞ ❝ you’re not ready for that yet. one step at a time. ❞ ❝ every time you go off, i worry you’re not coming back. ❞ ❝ it didn’t have to be this way. ❞ ❝ come on now. try to look on the bright side. ❞

❝ after all i taught you…i’m ashamed. ❞ ❝ it’s easy to make promises you can never keep. ❞ ❝ we all make mistakes. i never claimed to be a saint. ❞ ❝ how does it feel to kill hundreds of men in cold blood? ❞ ❝ it ain’t the first time i had a gun to my head. ❞ ❝ you’re not perfect, and i’m sure not. but you’re better than they are. ❞ ❝ you alright? you’re not hurt, are you? ❞ ❝ this really couldn’t have gone more horribly wrong. ❞ ❝ you’re just like me. you can’t change who you are. ❞ ❝ my whole life, all i ever did was fight. ❞ ❝ you’re in no position to make demands. ❞ ❝ the bright side? there ain’t no bright side. ❞ ❝ my heart’s beating like a drum. ❞ ❝ are you sure you’re alright? i mean, i know all that business must have been hard on you. ❞ ❝ you’ll make me blush with all these kind words. ❞ ❝ i never took you for the jealous type. ❞ ❝ come now, you’re stupid, but you’re not that stupid. ❞ ❝ you’re weak. you always were. you never had the stomach for this. ❞ ❝ seems real quiet, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ you were always a hard and nasty man. ❞ ❝ see, i have nothing but your best intentions at heart. ❞ ❝ don’t talk about things you don’t understand. ❞ ❝ i guess there’s only one room for one hero in this family. ❞ ❝ for a wise man, you are a really stupid man. ❞ ❝ what would have happened if i hadn’t come along? ❞ ❝ you must have mistaken me for someone else, friend. ❞ ❝ you ain’t very talkative, are you? ❞ ❝ we cannot be too careful. the world is very dangerous. ❞ ❝ no, i’m not okay. do i look like i’m okay? ❞ ❝ you are so tense all the time. come, let’s have some fun! ❞ ❝ i will stay and fight. i am ready to die if necessary. ❞ ❝ i know i can’t change the past but i’m sure gonna do something about the future. ❞ ❝ i’ve given you no reason not to trust me. ❞ ❝ choose your tone rightly. remember who you’re talking to. ❞ ❝ there are guards everywhere. if they see you, they will kill you. ❞ ❝ it was nothing. i’m not a kid any more.❞ ❝ a lonely, forsaken place. some people say it’s haunted. ❞ ❝ i’m not sure your idea of paradise and mine are the same. ❞ ❝ maybe if you were more cordial to folks, they’d be better inclined to help you. ❞ ❝ i’ve been in far worse situations. ❞ ❝ you have the exterior of a violent man, but the soul of an angel. ❞ ❝ you’re not gonna pass out on me, are you? ❞ ❝ you’re no better. how many men have you killed? ❞ ❝ stay alert. something doesn’t feel right. ❞

❝ i'm going to hand you over to them and watch them tear you limb from limb…i'm just kidding. ❞ ❝ you love to talk badly of other people because it makes you feel better about yourself. ❞ ❝ it’s been a pleasure spending time with you. ❞ ❝ that’s a lot of sacrifice. i just hope it’s worth it. ❞ ❝ i’m not cut out for this. no, not cut out for this at all. ❞ ❝ i don’t need you to show me. ❞ ❝ men are born, and then they're formed. at least, that’s how i see it. ❞ ❝ a little flattery…now we’re finally getting somewhere. ❞ ❝ i thought you were supposed to be fearless. ❞ ❝ you are a man who has lost his spirit. ❞ ❝ if you were less secretive, people might be more inclined to trust you. ❞ ❝ me mean me no harm? this is funny. what harm could you do to me, exactly? ❞ ❝ come on, after everything we’ve been through, i think we can trust each other, don’t you? ❞ ❝ i can’t rightly believe it. just like in the books. ❞ ❝ i didn’t ask for your help back there. i owe you nothing. ❞ ❝ be careful. what’s stopping me from killing you? ❞ ❝ one day, i promise you, you’re gonna regret this. ❞ ❝ you know i’ll do whatever i can, but i have problems of my own. ❞ ❝ what would you know about leadership? ❞ ❝ you make a choice by not making a choice, you know. ❞ ❝ hold your excuses until you figure out which one to use. ❞ ❝ i'll give you a bad case of "someone just shot me in the head" if you don't hurry up. ❞ ❝ being honest though, this tastes bad enough to kill a man. ❞ ❝ do i look like i need saving? ❞ ❝ sarcasm should be beneath a man such as you. ❞ ❝ are you always this stupid or are you making an extra effort today? ❞ ❝ i don’t like to kill a man on his knees, even if he deserves it. ❞ ❝ don't forget you need me more than i need you. ❞ ❝ i’ll hunt you to hell and back. ❞ ❝ you’d best not be lying to me. ❞ ❝ let's get going. before the weather gets any worse. that sky don't look good.. ❞ ❝ thank you for telling me all that back there. it must have been hard for you. ❞ ❝ i know we ain't exactly old pals, but…have i ever done you wrong? ❞ ❝ your nobility's almost as affecting as your naivety. ❞ ❝ you are a romantic who wants to be a cynic. ❞ ❝ i apologize if i seem to be prying. ❞ ❝ strange place for a decent person to visit, if you don't mind me saying. ❞ ❝ well, you must admit…it's an unusual start to a friendship. ❞ ❝ i can’t really say i understand you. ❞ ❝ every man has a right to change, a chance of forgiveness. ❞ ❝ hello, old friend. it’s been a long time. ❞ ❝ i hope you understand now why i've been playing my cards somewhat close to my chest. ❞ ❝ nobody made my path but me. ❞ ❝ it’ll be a piece of cake. trust me. ❞ ❝ oh, don’t be so deliberately enigmatic. ❞ ❝ my word, what a difficult life you’ve lived. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ stay and fight me, you coward. ❞ ❝ i ain't planning on staying very long. ❞

[liveforjeongin]

How To Cheer Your Jeongin Up (2/7)

-tickle fic, if you don't like that you can keep scrolling

requested by: no one

warnings: a bit of angst (? at the beginning, soft tickling, raspberries

Read 'How To Cheer Your Chan Up (1/7)' (the previous part) here in case you haven't yet!

taglist: @itzsana-kiddingmenow @channieissocute125

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It was late night, past midnight, everyone was already sleeping in maknaes+Lino dorm, except Felix, who hadn't been able to fall asleep.

He woke up to drink some water, thinking that might help him a bit. On his way back to his room, he heard some noises, as if someone was... Sobbing?

Turned out the noises came from Jeongin's room, something that concerned the sunshine boy, since it wasn't much common to see their maknae crying. Forgetting completely about sleeping, he entered the youngest's room in silence, not wanting to scare him.

"Innie... Are you alright?" asked once he approached enough for the younger to listen to his whispers, since he didn't want to wake up Seungmin and Minho too.

Jeongin quickly whiped his tears away, doing his best to pretend he wasn't crying "Oh, hi, hyung. What are you doing here so late?" tried to avoid the situation, even though he knew Lix already saw everything, which made the older's heart break.

"Innie... Come on now. It's me, you know you can trust me, don't you? I won't judge you for anything, I promise you" Lix sat on Innie's bed, next to him.

Jeongin knew that, that's why he let himself cry on his hyung's lap.

"Hey, hey, it's okay... What happened to our baby bread that has you like this?" Felix started to stroke his dongsaeng's hair, knowing he'd probably move away and complain he doesn't like skinship.

But instead, Innie just leaned into the touch, he felt so vulnerable already that he didn't even care, it felt really nice... How come he kept rejecting it?

"I'm sorry, hyung..." the maknae got to say through all his crying.

No need to say, Felix got heartbroken at the youngest's words "What do you mean, Innie? You're sorry for what?" asked, worrying even more.

"I... Know Channie hyung always tells us to... Not read those hate comments people do... Cuz he doesn't want us to get affected, cuz he says nothing of that is true... But I couldn't stop myself, hyung... I read them. I read a lot of them..." in that moment, Jeongin was feeling overwhelmed at his own mind reminding him of all those comments... All the horrible things netizens said about him...

Felix froze.

He knows how it is to read that stuff, cuz even when they all promised Chan not to, Felix keeps reading them almost every night. So he just hugged Jeongin, he hugged him and he told him things he would've like to hear every single night while reading those comments.

"What they say it's not true"

"They don't know you, they have no right to judge you"

"You're very talented, why do you doubt about that?"

"They're jealous of you, that's it"

"I'm here for you, I'll always be"

They continued hugging for what felt like eternity. Neither of them wanted to pull away. Until an idea came to Lix's mind.

"Innie, could I do something to make you feel better?"

The maknae, who had already stopped crying some minutes ago, tilted his head a little "What's that?"

Yongbok went back to stroke baby bread's hair "I know you hate being tickled... But I really think that'll cheer you up... Could I tickle you? I promise I'll be gentle, I'll be the gentlest in the whole world, I promise"

Jeongin was ready to say "no" since the first sentence, but thinking about it... That could actually help "Okay... Fine. I'll let you tickle me, BUT you have to promise 3 things before"

The freckled boy was visibly excited, so he just nodded with his head and waited for the youngest to give him the conditions.

"Number one, you have to promise you'll be EXTREMELY gentle. Number two, you'll stop immediately after I say so. And number three, you can't tell anyone I agreeded to this... And I'm serious with this one, hyung" Jeongin looked really serious as he gave the conditions. Felix knew he wasn't joking with them.

After agreeding to the conditions, Lix got ready to tickle his youngest.

He decided to start off a bad spot, the younger's belly. He gently caressed him there, provoking the cutest soft giggles he'd ever heard from Jeongin.

Soon enough, decided to start for real, scribbling all over Innie's belly and sides, now with both hands.

Jeongin's giggling grew louder, but hopefully, not enough to wake 2min up "Hyuhuhuhuhung, that's bahahad!"

Lix smirked "Oh, I know it is, but I bet is helping, isn't it?" teased, now placing one of his hands on one side of Jeongin's neck, not doing anything yet.

The simple fact of having his hyung's hand placed on his weakest spot was enough to make Jeongin beg "No! No no nohohoho, hyung! Please, plehehehehease! Not there, don't do anyhyhyhything on there!"

Lix felt like listening to the maknae this time, so instead, he went to caress his ears, not surprisingly making him ticklish.

At this point, the baby of the group was a blushy, giggly, squirmy mess on his sunshine hyung's arms. All the bad comments simply disappeared from his mind, he felt... Happy. That's why he didn't stop his hyung when, once again, placed his hand on his neck, just accepting his fate.

Seeing the youngest was kind of agreeing with the idea of having his neck tickled, Felix went on.

Jeongin was getting gentle tickles on his ribs and neck now, normally, he'd be giggling pretty loud, but this time, he couldn't allow himself to do that, so his best solution was covering his face with a pillow, that, surprisingly, did cushion the loud giggles from him.

They stayed like this for some minutes more, they were both enjoying it, even though Jeongin will never accept that.

Lix knew the youngest would say "stop" at any moment now, so he decided to do one more thing now that he had the opportunity, and blew a raspberry on the youngest's sensitive neck, causing Innie to let out a scream, since he didn't expect that and it tickled a lot, being honest.

He moved away as fast as he could, getting to scape Lix's raspberry. Hopefully, the pillow cushioned the scream really well, so it was safe to say neither Seungmin nor Minho heard it.

"Okahahahay, hyung, that's enough! Stohohohohop now!" the maknae said. He did scape the raspberries, but Felix kept on gently tickling his ribs and sides.

Just like he promised, Lix stopped as soon as Innie said so, and gave him some rubs to ease the ghost tickles "How you feeling now? Better?" the sunshine boy asked, actually worried his plan might've failed.

But instead, he received an unexpected hug from the maknae "Thank you, hyung..." Innie whispered.

Bokkie's heart melted, automatically hugging him back "I'm happy I got to help you"

After some seconds hugging, they both pulled away, Felix was ready to go back to his room, but his arm got suddenly grabbed by the youngest.

"Hyung... Could you... Sleep with me tonight?" the maknae asked shyly, and Felix obviously couldn't resist so much cuteness.

They ended up cuddled in bed. Jeongin's head resting on his hyung's chest, they both felt so comfortable and happy, knowing they could always trust each other.

And with that warm thought in mind, and cuddled with his hyung in bed, Innie fell asleep, forgetting completely about those comments.

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I think I'm not so good writing soft tickling😭

Which is pretty sad cuz that's actually like My favorite type of tickling💔

But I'll get better at it, I promise

I hope you guys liked this, soon I'll be back with requested fics, I promise

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 20

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

“So, he was just standing there?” Dr. Miller sawed through a piece of steak as we sat across from one another at the same restaurant we had eaten at the first night I had stayed over at his house. He popped the bite into his mouth and washed it down with a sip of wine.

“Yes.” I nodded, toying with a sweet potato on my plate, “Isn’t that odd?”

He shrugged and placed his elbows on the table while folding his hands together and resting his chin on them. “A bit,” Dr. Miller agreed with a more nonchalant attitude than I would have imagined. “But he did just come from class. I park there from time to time if there aren’t enough spots out front. People cross through behind the building.”

“But he was, like, lurking.” I scrunched my nose and shook my head. “You don’t think he saw us, do you?”

Dr. Miller shook his head. “No.” He sipped on his wine again and winked at me. “It feels good to almost get caught, though. doesn’t it?”

I smirked and managed a little laugh. His calm take on the issue was enough to bring me back to reality - and rational situations. “It was exciting,” I admitted, “All of this is.”

“You have your other class tomorrow night,” Dr. Miller remarked, matter-of-factly. “I have one after that. I don't want you to be alone on campus.”

“I could have my friend James walk me,” I suggested. “He's campus security.”

Dr. Miller scrunched his nose and sawed off another piece of steak. He didn't immediately respond.

Is he jealous? I smiled to myself in hopes that he was, though that hadn't at all been the intent of my comment. I had a friend who was part of the security team, so it made sense.

“This guy-” he began but I cut him off.

“He's a very platonic friend,” I explained. “Nothing like that.”

“Yeah, I'm sure he feels that way.” Dr. Miller rolled his eyes with a little smirk.

“He does.” I let out a laugh. “We've always just been friends. Never anything more.”

“Guys always do the just friend thing first, ya know.”

“You didn't,” I reminded him with a playful smirk. My hand rested on top of his on the table and it drew a wider grin from him.

“I think our relationship is a bit of an exception.”

“I would agree.” My smile lingered and I looked him in the eye. “Hey, if it bothers you about James, I can just-”

“No.” Dr. Miller cut me off now. “Don't be silly, I'm just being childish. As long as you trust him, you should have him walk you out.”

“And then what?” I asked.

Dr. Miller squinted as if he didn't quite understand what I meant.

“Do I just drive home..”

His grin returned and he looked down and back up, sipping from his wine again. “If you'd be my willing prisoner you'd make me the happiest man in the world. Then I'd always know you were safe.”

Willing prisoner. That I was. And of course Dr. Miller methodically chose those words.

“Your Rapunzel?”

“Something like that,” he said.

I wasn't sure how I would ever get out of this if the relationship ever went south. I wanted to be Dr. Miller’s willing prisoner. That wouldn't change, I was certain. 

What if he paid for the castle with blood money? I didn't know what I would think then. What if he's mafia or something.

Dr. Miller reached into his pocket and pulled out his key ring. He then removed a single, gold key and handed it across the table.

I swallowed hard and meekly took it from his hand. 

“In case you ever get back there before I do.”

“Are you sure?”

“If I wasn't I wouldn't have given it to you. Come and go as you please.”

Wow. A key to that giant mansion. My key. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel, but I was nervous - and excited.

“I don't even know what to say.” I looked at him with the key still in my palm.

“Well, if you decide to come back tomorrow night after class, you'll need it.” He added. “The house alarm code is the same as the one for the gate.”

“2-”

“Shh..” Dr. Miller waved his hand and I quickly apologized. “Don't apologize,” he quickly told me. “I just..”

“I get it.”

Our waitress tried to convince the two of us to order dessert, but when we both declined she set the check down. Dr. Miller reached for it immediately and eyed me when I began digging in my purse.

“If you pull out your wallet I won't let you stay over,” he teased, half-kidding.

“I haven't paid for a thing.”

“As you shouldn't - not with me.”

“Well.. thank you.”

“You're welcome.” Dr. Miller paid in cash, closed the check presenter and reached for my hand.

I felt like royalty on Dr. Miller’s arm. It wasn't the money or the appearance; it was simply being with him and letting everyone know it. I tried not to smile in the cheesy way I wanted to.

When we crossed onto the sidewalk outside, Dr. Miller turned to look at me with a little wink. Before either of us could say anything, someone called his name.

“Joel?”

We both glanced down the walkway to see a woman of about forty walking steadily in our direction. She was stunning and blond with a fitted black, long sleeved dress topped over black heels. Under her arm was a sleek, feminine briefcase. On first impressions she appeared as if she was some hot shot lawyer - or possibly just stole 101 dalmation puppies.

“Christine.” He gave a cordial nod but then his jaw tightened and his nostrils flared just a bit.

I stared at the woman, who had a few inches on me, even without the heels. Joel looked at me for a moment and then back to the knockout before us. I prayed this wasn't another woman he was seeing, shattering every single dream and daydream I'd had over our relationship.

The woman eyed me up and down and I knew I was being judged. I didn’t know if I should introduce myself or just stand there silently. It was more in my nature to do the latter.

“This is still your hot spot, I see.” She gave a subtle nod toward the restaurant we had just walked out of. Her eyes met mine and I had the urge to look away but I didn’t.

Dr. Miller tipped up his mouth in an attempt at a small smile but his expression betrayed him. “It was nice seeing you, Christine.”

“You haven’t changed.”

I glanced down when Dr. Miller locked his fingers with mine and began pulling me toward the car. Chrstine stood on the sidewalk for a few lingering seconds, watching us go, before making her way into a lounge called Michael’s on the corner.

Once the two of us were secured behind closed doors and windows, he glanced over at me as he started up the Mercedes. “Remember I told you I was briefly married a while back?” When I nodded, he let out a huff of a breath. “That’s my ex-wife. Christine.”

“She looks like she could kill people with just one look.”

My comment made him laugh and his eyebrows rose and fell. “She’s fierce.”

“I could tell.”

He slipped his hand into mine again and we locked eyes. “That was a long time ago,” Dr. MIller reiterated, “I’m sorry for how awkward that was. We haven’t been on the best of terms, even after all these years. I didn’t want to her the satisfaction of knowing anything about you - even your name.”

“Okay.” I nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Hey.” Dr. MIller leaned in and touched his lips to mine. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For having an awkward interaction with my ex.”

“You’re forgiven.” I smiled and it seemed to satisfy him as we pulled out of the parking space. When Dr. Miller’s car cruised by Michael’s, I tried to catch a glimpse of Christine inside to see if she had met with someone but it was impossible to tell. I would have felt just a tad bit better knowing she was with another man.

“She’s remarried,” Dr. Miller added, apparently sensing my lingering discomfort.

“Oh.” I raised my eyebrows, trying to sound like I didn’t care; though it did ease a little bit of my sudden insecurities.

When his hand squeezed mine, I glanced over at him. “That’s the past.” He pulled the car to the side of the road and put it in park to continue speaking. “And you are the present..” Dr. Miller smiled, “And hopefully the future.”

I brought his knuckles to my lips and left a single kiss there. “I’m sorry. Is jealousy written all over my face?”

“That was well over a decade ago,” he reminded me. “There’s nothing to be jealous of.”

“She’s gorgeous. And apparently still interested enough to care what you do.”

“She hates me.”

I went to speak more about it but Dr. Miller silenced my concerns with a kiss.

“You’re not fair,” I laughed against him.

“I gave you a key to my house, didn’t I?” He asked.

I smiled wide and gave a shrug before nodding.

“So, can we just forget these awkward little incidents, with Christine and Trevor, and just let me return the favor at home? Since I came embarrassingly fast in the back seat on campus.”

I gave a little laugh and then nodded.

Dr. MIller grinned back. “I’ll let you pick the room. We have a lot of them cover.”

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandijo17 @jiminstinypinky @shotgun-shelby

[kitkatscabinet]

PROMPTS I'D LOVE TO WRITE

Credits to the following for certain prompts: @leneemusing @novelbear @creativepromptsforwriting @soulprompts @flovprompts @memesomething

FLUFF

' i don't want to spend any time apart from you. ''

'' i really need you to know that [that i love you]. ''

“ wait, you knew? “ “ you haven't exactly been discreet... “ Jason Todd

'' so, do you... love me back, or? ''

“ do you have feelings for me or something? “

“ i think i'm falling in love with you. “

“i love it when you smile! i wish you’d do it all the time… ”

“ you can’t get rid of me that easily. i’m gonna be here every day to remind you how wonderful you are! ”

“ you know me. you… you see me. i’m never totally myself unless i’m with you. ”

“ we all have our flaws. you stayed with me in spite of mine. now i’m doing the same… ”

“ of course i remembered! i remember everything about you! ”

“ don’t make this weird, but… i saw this in the store. figured you’d like it. ”

“ whoa… hey, now, who made you cry? where’d they go? ”

“ don’t make a big deal out of this. you like hugs, right? so… here’s a hug. ”

“ um… if you don’t mind, i think i’d like a hug now. if that’s okay… ”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous”

“ the world just… feels right. when you’re with me. ”

"is this okay?" "it's more than okay."

JEALOUS/PROTECTIVE

❝  i just didn’t like the way they were looking at you.  like you weren’t mine.  ❞ John Mactavish

❝  you know i’m yours,  right?  i only have eyes for you.  ❞

❝  hey,  is this asshole bothering you?  ❞ Dean Winchester

❝  tell me you’re mine.  ❞

❝  you wanna lose a limb?  beat it,  fucker.  ❞

for one muse to possessively kiss the other in public.

for one muse to lean into the other’s side or hug them to seek comfort from a crowd or individual while in public.

FRIENDS TO LOVERS

going as each other’s “platonic” date to a mutual friend’s wedding

agreeing to kiss each other “just to see what it’s like”

punching the guy who broke your best friend’s heart

friends and family think we’re dating because we’re always acting like a couple

sharing clothes, we're just that comfortable with each other

accidentally blurting out “i love you” during a conversation

i’m watching you date all these other people and i don't know what it is i'm feeling but it's definitely not jealousy

you're upset and disappear for a couple hours, and i'm the only one who knows where to find you (which is at the location we always hung out at as children)

one dropping hints about their feelings, the other one is completely oblivious

hearing your best friend say you’re nothing more than friends, dying a little on the inside because you wish it was more than that

family and friends constantly pointing out how compatible you are with each other

ANGST

'' i can't do this without you. ''

'' don't you dare... don't you dare say goodbye. ''

'' it's okay. '' '' it's not okay. ''

'' do you remember that song, that we always used to sing as kids? [could you...?] 

'' don't you dare close your eyes. ''

'' she's not dead...! ''

'' you're gonna be okay. ''

“ can you move? “

“ why is it so difficult for you to believe that you deserve to be protected? “

“ stay close. whatever you do, do not leave my side. “ Dean Winchester

“ i’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. no matter the cost. “

“They say you almost died. You left it that late.”

“ tell me it isn't true. “ “ i can't."

“ why is it so damn difficult for you to believe you’re worthy of love? ”

HURT/COMFORT

"I don’t know how to just live.  I constantly feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop."

“There are just too many people depending on me.  I can’t rest.  I can’t let them down.”

“Every time I start to feel like things are getting quieter and I can feel safe,  something bad always happens. ”

“I’m here and I’m not leaving or letting you change the subject. now talk to me.”

“You’re important to me. Do you hear me?  you’re important, and that’s never gonna change.   ”

“I’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep.”

“I want to take care of you.  please,  let me.”

“You’re a good person. good people deserve to be safe."

“I’m going to protect you, now. because that’s what we do for the ones we love. we keep them safe.“

"It's alright... it's okay... I'm here now. I've got you."

"Of course I came for you... it would take far more than that to stop me. "

❝I know I can’t protect you from everything,  but I wish you’d let me protect you from the things I can control.❞

“You’re safe. [Name], can you hear me? They’re here to help you, you need to let them help you.”

“I wasn’t –… Your doctors weren’t sure you’d wake up.”

“You.. you were so close to dying. I was scared.”

SCENARIOS/ACTIONS

Smiling at each other from across the room

Laying a hand on the other’s leg

Fixing the other’s clothes 

A kiss to the side of the head

Embracing from behind

Laying your head on their shoulder

Bumping shoulders

you take their hands firmly, intertwine their fingers with yours

you repeatedly say you love them when they’re anxious/experiencing low self-worth

put your hands on lover’s cheeks, cradle their face in your hands

you get really mad when you hear someone hurl an insult your lover’s way

for sender to catch or steady receiver when receiver tries to stand up too early or to push their body past what it’s ready for

 for receiving muse to not recognize sender or medical staff trying to help them, due to being drugged or otherwise disoriented – so they fight.

SECRET DATING/CONSEQUENCES

“You will cut all ties with them”

“Where were you last night?”

“How long? ” [a confused pause] “How long have you two been in a relationship

“How long do you think it’s going to take before your family finds out? ”

"If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?"

[lukedruid80]

i love your post about how you miss your s/o and how other versions of him won't be the him you know and all that, it's really helped me alot since i feel jealousy pretty often, do you have any other tips or just anything that would help with that or even how you worked through it to getting to a point where you feel like that post, thank youuu

this just increasingly made my day 5%, this is so sweet of you. I'll give a "quick" (it's long, buckle up) journey I went through to get to the point of my post

I think, first, it started when I had a Fame dr with his actor as my significant other, the thing is i did it out of so much "influence" by so many shifters having a crush on the actors of their s/os. But deep down, I never actually felt that attachment, it's not the same. I ONLY came to that realization because of the concept of Doppelgangers in The Vampire Diaries. Main character (Stefan) fell for his ex lovers doppelganger, but they're entirely different in personalities despite the looks are identical. And that made me rethink, do i actually like the actor or do i just feel attraction just because he looks like my s/o? And they are NOT the same person either.

It's entirely unfair that whenever i see anyone who shares the same face as him, the FIRST thing that came up to my mind is my s/o. Second, third, fourth, fifth thing that came up to my mind doesn't count, it's the first one. The fact the first thought is my s/o, already says a lot that I only am attracted to them because they share the same face as him, that I don't actually love them, my mind is just blessed by the haunting of his presence only. I reflect myself, how could i actually be with someone just because they look like him? That's just simply something I can't handle, just getting a haunting reminder and missing them and that's not even the one you miss. There are SO MANY OTHERS who shares the same face as him, but yet I feel uncomfortable seeing them because I know they're not him. But sometimes i caught myself getting EMOTIONAL too seeing the others or the actor that my s/o is played by, because of his face, like I'm getting reminded of him, i only see HIM. It's like those stories where this immortal person sees someone that looks exactly like someone from their past, the attachment feels irreplaceable. It's almost upsetting to know everything about him like his favorite color, just for the other versions of him to say an entirely different color. That is enough for me to realize that I truly only want mine.

Second about the jealous bit, i struggle with very incredibly terrible low self esteem, I'm more self-less. Personally, there wasn't much that helped me work my way through jealousy, I just love my significant other so much to the point i don't actually care about anything but his happiness. This reality's version of him had like a fling with this other person, and that other person is my best friend in my dr, and i love them both so much that even though I'm jealous sometimes, I can't bring myself to hate them together. His version in this reality had a selfless love too, this reality version of my best friend actually loves someone else but yet he still have feelings for her.

And because of that, i just know that if I met this reality version of him, I probably wouldn't exactly feel how i feel with mine in my dr because he has someone already, and that makes him different than mine. And of all people, I would know what's it like to love someone like that so much where you wouldn't actually care if they love someone else, you're just glad that they're happy, and I can't take that away from him because I wouldn't someone to take it away from me either. I would give every single star in every damn reality for my significant other, but I'm just so so glad that someone else in another reality loves him as much as i do.

There is no guarantee I can protect him, shower him with love, fight for him, trying for him in every reality, so the only reassurance i am ever going to get of him being okay is that there are others who would do the same for him, and that's good enough for me. My jealousy is still there, don't get me wrong, but i love him so much, I don't even care about how i feel. Also, there's other versions of me who likes someone else, but THIS version of me here only loves him, who's to say that my s/o doesn't feel the same either? Impossibility doesn't exist with shifting.

So this helped me realize that, i wouldn't even go after the other versions of him in other shifters dr because he is not the one i know despite them looking identical or seem similar, they could almost share the same personality or details about him, first thing I would get reminded of is mine. And also he's happy with the shifters that shifts for him or just other people he's with in general. What matters only, is that I'm with mine, and he's the only version I know in detail and love fully. I fond of him so much, I would choose him over and over again in a room full of others I apologize that this is long, but you asked for it and you received it 🐬🌈✨

[undercover-monsterlover]

Oh! Someone who does jjba matchups? You're a blessing. Can I please get a matchup (with a male character)? You can choose what part you want, love them all. If you're still open, of course, if not, you can ignore this. No worries and thank you! ❤️

She/her, Gemini, INFJ, 26

Personality: I'm a warm and affectionate person generally. I'm respectful and kind to everyone, with no exceptions, but I never accept disrespect or ill intentions towards loved ones or myself. Can get intimidating really quickly if it's needed. I'm self-assured and confident enough to stand up for others or myself. Not afraid of conflict. When I'm sad, angry, or anything like that, I bottle up everything and walk it off until it fades, even if I know it's bad. Another flaw is that I hate admitting my vulnerabilities. I deny them to always look strong and tough, but I'm trying to be nicer to myself too. I love listening to others, empathizing with them, and offering any type of help, comfort or understanding they might like/need. Huge romantic. My love language includes physical touch and words of affirmation when giving. I enjoy flirting with my partner and showing appreciation but also messing up with him just for the reactions. I've been told that I have a calming presence but honestly, I like calmness and chaos equally. I love challenges too. I work in Healthcare and I'm a huge geek about it, bringing random medical facts to the table even if no one asked lol. Favorite romantic tropes: forced proximity, old flame, enemies to lovers.

Hobbies and random likes: working out (helps me let out that bottled-up stuff safely), reading, learning anything new (curious about anything), long walks and deel conversations, dressing up (dresses, skirts), connecting with people on a deep level, the colors red, pink, black, sweet perfumes, tea, flowers.

Looks: short (but can and will kick ass), curvy, hazel eyes, and honey blonde hair, some freckles, a tattoo of a crescent moon.

I hope this is not too long or confusing. Thank you again, have a lovely day/night! Don't forget to take care! ❤️

Alright, I'd match you with...

Mohammad Avdol

You strike me as a very strong willed individual, who would require someone who isn't intimidated by strong women, or "emasculated" when a woman succeeds in something he couldn't. And I believe that Mohammed Avdol would settle for no less than someone as strong and dependable as he is. I think he would be initially attracted to your acceptance of conflict and turmoil, and your ability to "roll with the punches" so to say. He'd also deeply appreciate your openly affectionate and warm personality, he hates people who try to "play it cool" around people they like. I bet he'd make a romance tarot spread for you and subtly imply you'll end up with a man who has a "firey" personality lmao.

Based on his character profile and his actions in the show, we know he's a warm and confident person, just as you are, and I think you would be a total power couple. You'd be the kind of couple that everyone wants to come to their parties or events to "kick things off" and get people feeling comfortable. You'll both also totally keep everybody safe, even though I think some people would be jealous of your relationship.

I believe that due to how you both are such strong people that try to ignore their more negative emotions, he would know exactly what you're feeling, to an extent that's almost annoyingly perceptive. And in public I'm sure he'd let you keep up the mature, responsible side of yourself, he knows how important it is to appear tough, especially in intense situations, but in private he'll always offer to let you vent or just be vulnerable around him. He wants to be your rock, through thick or thin. And you of course have an equally intuitive sense for his emotions. I feel like you'd have a very fluid dynamic, always taking the role the other is currently indisposed to take. If he's acting impulsively, you'd be the one to remind him to think things through. If you are trying to ignore your own needs in order to save face, he'll be the one to remind you that it's ok to think of yourself.

He would love how romantic you are. He's all for the sappy tropes, weekly dinner dates even if things are busy, buying you flowers randomly, this dude would totally give you massages, honestly more for his enjoyment then your benefit if he's honest. I think he would be an incredibly attentive partner, especially considering how intimately he understands you. He's always very considerate of you you may take things, but he's also not one to shy away from conflict, so he'll always bring up whatever's bothering him, and encourage you to do the same. Any arguments between you two would likey end in a good compromise, though it may take a while to get there, since you both have such strong personalities.

I feel his favourite way to show love would be gift-giving, wether it's an old book he's read and think you'll like, or more fancy Egyptian perfumes and fragrances then you'll know what to do with. He loves seeing the appreciation on your face when he gets something you like, which means he's always trying to remember everything you like, even if it's just something you picked up to look at in a store once.

Also when things got serious between you he would absolutely get a tattoo in the same style of yours, a sun to match your moon. You'll have a very push and pull relationship, always making up for what the other lacks, and reflecting back what they need, and I think the sun and moon imagery fits that dynamic quite well.

[blubushie]

can u explain everything in ur dni list and y u have it as dni? i think itd be funny

Yeah, sure. I think it'd be funny too.

Having to cut this in half cuz it's long.

Are vegan (vegetarians are fine). -> I can't stand vegans. Oh my god, can I not stand vegans. Every vegan I've met has been an insufferable idiot who doesn't understand that going on an all-plant diet is still destroying ecosystems. Growing their crops requires space, this space results in deforestation, the widespread use of pesticides and poisons kills billions of animals every year and results in that poison being passed down the food chain, killing animals that aren't the initial target of the poison. Vegans act like hunting is luxury while not acknowledging native land rights, while not acknowledging that for many people hunting is the only way for them to survive multiple months through the year, vegans consider themselves holier-than-thou and are sure to remind you of this. Too many vegans deny basic biology of human being omnivores--this is why we have canine teeth, pointed molars, and incisors in the shape we do--or they make the argument that despite being omnivores, there is no reason to eat meat as we live in the "modern world" and therefore supplemental vitamins are readily available. This is ignoring how expensive these supplements are, and how unavailable they are to many people. Also M*lbourne vegans chucked red paint on my car and I still find flakes sometimes between the slats. Cost me almost $200 to have it powerwashed off and to pay for a new advertisement sticker.

Are a cyclist (bikies, you're on thin fucking ice) -> Cyclists can't stay in their fucking bike path and keep riding in the street. What's the fucking path for if you're not gonna use it? Bikies are on thin ice because they're like cyclists but Cooler.

Don't like flanno -> All I wear is flanno

Are scared of snakes -> I love snakes and, as pest control, I'm tired of explaining to people that you're more likely to be bitten by a snake while trying to move/kill it and that you should just leave snakes be.

Are scared of bugs -> I love bugs

Unironically say "NAURRR" (Aussies are exempt) -> As an Aussie it's just... really fucking annoying. Get better jokes. This one's overused.

Drive a manual (I'm jealous of you) -> I cannot drive a manual because I always second-guess myself when I shift gears and then shift to the wrong gear or accidentally ride the clutch.

Scream when you're afraid or startled -> I don't do this normally except when I'm on the horn with someone and do it as a heads-up that I'm muting myself to talk to whoever's interrupted me. Also this'll kill you in a survival situation.

Don't take your shoes off indoors (WTF is wrong with you?) -> It's gross and rude.

Have never loved the stars too fondly -> I love astronomy.

Claim your favourite flower is roses -> Cliché.

Like the colour pink -> People always think this is a misogyny thing but no, it's a trauma thing. Additionally in the Australian mental facility I was in as a kid, my room was painted a soft pink and so now I just hate this colour as a whole.

Don't wear a watch -> I always wear a watch. It's dependable when your phone dies.

Don't like vegemite (WTF is wrong with you? x2) -> I'm an Aussie.

If you DO like vegemite, DNI if you eat it at level 6 or anything below 3 -> I'm an Aussie.

Eat vegemite plain off the spoon (WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? x3) -> I'm an Aussie.

Call all cattle "cows" -> I'm also a stockman and this is annoying. Cows are female cattle who've had calves, bulls are unneutered male cattle, heifers are female cattle who haven't had a calf yet, steers are neutered young male cattle, bullocks are neutered adult male cattle.

Use chapstick (let your lips split like a real man) -> I don't use chaptsick and eventually my lips stopped chapping.

Weren't sacrificed on the altar of Victoria Bitter -> Aussie and bogan.

You drink Foster's -> Aussie and no one here drinks fucking Foster's.

Call thongs "flip-flops" (wrong) or "jandals" (inhuman) -> THEY'RE THONGS.

Are a ranga -> Rangas are redheads. Gingers are ok. Rangas don't have souls.

Wear neon colours (hunting orange is fine, safety green is only permissible for tradies) -> Eyestrain. Also people who wear neon make me nervous as someone who hates attention being drawn to myself in public.

Like wearing shoes -> I hate shoes.

Wear socks and ESPECIALLY if you sleep with socks on -> But I hate socks more! Autism no like.

Like maths (you're an alien) -> I am very bad at maths. I know enough to be a sniper but even then I usually use a calculator and/or my Kestrel app.

Wash your face every morning -> Exfoliate with sand like I do.

Don't know how to change a tyre -> Everyone should know how to change a tyre because you never know if you're going to need it. You might need it, someone else might need it, etc. It might save your life some day. Life skill.

Think heat above 80F/25C is "unbearable" -> I'm an Aussie, suck it up.

Have never ridden a horse -> I pity you.

Don't know the difference between revolvers and pistols -> It's annoying.

Have, at any point, unironically uttered the phrase "assault rifle" -> You don't know anything about firearms and don't have a leg to be standing on in conversation regarding them.

Are from M*lbourne (Victorians, you're on thin fucking ice) -> See the "vegans" thing. Also M*lburnians are largely up themselves and the whole city suffers from Tall Poppy Syndrome. You're not better than anyone, cunts.

Are from New Zealand -> Basically M*lbourne but a whole country. I'll admit a lot of my "hatred" is just for show, though. You're our dickhead little brother and we hate you and also love you. Nobody fucks with the Kiwis but us <3

Are French/speak French (Africans, you're on thin fucking ice) -> Bad experiences in regards to the language, but as far as nationality goes, see "pompousness."

Are Canadian -> Bad experiences with Canadians.

Are French-Canadian (double-wrong) -> Very bad experience with a pompous French-Canadian.

Are English. The rest of the UK, you're on thin ice. -> Pommy cunts. You're not my dad!

Are from a city with a population higher than 1mil. People from cities with populations of 30k to 999k are on thin fucking ice. People from cities/town/shires/villages with less than 30k I love you. -> I grew up bush in a town with a population of like. 5. And now there's zero.

Think "bogan" is an insult -> It's not.

Don't shave with a knife (people who use straight razors, you're on thin fucking ice, people who don't shave at all I love you) -> I shave with a knife in the bush and straight razor when I'm around people (because getting caught shaving with a knife is a good way to have your girlfriend yell at you for being stupid).

Have never been sunburnt (only for people who can get sunburnt) -> Get skin cancer like a real man (like I have).

Don't like camping -> I love camping.

Own decorative towels and ESPECIALLY if you get mad at people for using them. It's a bloody towel and I'm using it for its intended purpose -> This has happened to me too much and I get pissed every time. Why do you have it if you're not supposed to use it? How am I supposed to know it's not meant to be used?

Believe in astrology -> I don't trust people who judge others off their fucking star sign instead of their actions.

Have a skincare routine and/or wear makeup -> I don't like people who are vain. Life's so short, who cares about your appearance, go out there and enjoy life.

Drive a Toyota Prius -> You're probably a shitty and/or obnoxious driver, you either speed or drive too fucking slow, never use your indicators when changing lane, or cut people off.

DON'T love thunderstorms -> I love thunderstorms.

Were born after 2023 -> You do the maths.

Think catching toads to get high is "animal abuse" (the toads are fine unless they're cane toads, fuck cane toads, all my mates hate cane toads) -> It's not. The toads are fine (again, unless they're cane toads, which I kill because they're invasive species).

You microwave water for any reason -> Jostling microwaved water causes cavitation bubbles to burst, which can make the water itself spray you. This results in boiling water drenching your arms and probably face. This is how you get severe burns. Stop doing it.

Have never been to a B&S ball -> They're fun and I pity you.

Don't believe in aliens -> I refuse to believe we're alone out here.

Are taller than 158cm/5'2" -> Fuck you for being taller than me!

Take multivitamins (aka you are healthier than me) -> Fuck you for being healthier than me!

Haven't read my fic (minors exempt, do not read it) -> Please read it if you're an adult, I put my heart and soul into this shit...

Don't like bush ballads or sea shanties. I'm going to show up at your house and aggressively sing Waltzing Matilda at 3am outside your bedroom window -> I like sea shanties. And the sea.

Think the term "blackfella" is racist -> It's not, it's the preferred term for black (native) Australians.

Would give me up, tell a lie, and hurt me -> Get Rickroll'd.

Don't bless the rains down in Africa -> Get Tito'd.

You shave your eyebrows -> No eyebrows makes me nervous since I kinda depend on them for reading faces (autism)

[gurokichi]

I think this is my second or third ask today, I'm very proud of myself xd.

Well, to answer your question, I think we are similar because of some posts that you have, because when I read them, it remind me of myself.

Because (can you count how many times I write the word "because"?,i think you can do it Bon xd) even if you not believe it, I'm so much like you, but unlike you, I'm afraid of show that side of me, the side that is obsessive, possessive, the side of me that wants to be hurt but loved at the same time, the side that is soo jealous over anyone that stay so close of someone that I loved (platonic and romantic), in that sense, I kind of envy you Bon, you are more brave than me to show all of you, even the most "creepy" and "weird" sides of you (however I don't think you are creepy or weird, you are very cute to me Bon, so kind and nice, it's almost unbelievable).

Leaving this aside, I knew that you would say that, I don't know how, but I knew you wouldn't watch KNY for that long until you wanted to do something else instead, and don't worry, it doesn't bother me that you haven't watch everything yet

Because (why I say "because" so much? ;-;) it happens to me soo often that is not funny anymore -,w,- .

Can I be honest with you Bon?, I was expecting you to know my blog even before I started to like yours posts, because, I know you have that "bad" habit to want to know everything you can about your anons (it's now a "bad" habit to me though, I find it very cute.... I called you that so many times didn't I? (- w - ")) , and btw, did you like my blog?, I don't post anything yet but, at least you could tell if you like how my blog looks (even if I think it looks a little bad or "cringe" to me).

And I really want to believe that what you said is true bon, that she would talk to me again like we used to, but I think she is mad at me, because she didn't answer my messages and she didn't talk to me for the past two days, and It makes feel so bad because, she one of the few friends I have (because the rest left me alone), and the mere thing that she would hate makes me want to cry and to want to tell her that I don't want her to leave (you could say that i'm a bit dependent on her).

And I know that this has nothing to do with what I was saying before but, in my room there were a lot of ants, and not exactly the little ones, but the big ones that if they bite you they hurt a shit.

Luckily, my father killed them all by setting them on fire and then he took them out of my room, to say that I was scared was not enough, I almost died of fear.

And now I'm going to explain you the meme that I said (I mean the "esa frase casi me da un oscar" one), well, basically, the meme is used when a famous person or character says something that became representative of that famous character or person, i could give an example of Kokichi with his iconic “it's a lie!”, but the meme can also be used if a character or person says something specific and repeats it constantly, and I would set an example of myself with my “and that's all for now!” , and basically that's why I referred to that meme (I can't believe I had to explain a damn meme to someone, but you don't speak my language so it's understandable, and I'm sorry if you don't understand what I said, my way of explain things is always so shitty and stupid) .

And I think that's all I want to say, I will waiting for your answer bon, bye love you! :D

- Unnamed Anon :p

So many asks!! I love reading and answering them, though!

Ah, I see. I think being able to act as you want just depends on the people you’re around. I’m lucky enough to (mostly) be surrounded by people who don’t judge me for the way I am! Being so open here doesn’t mean I’m not afraid to show this side of me, though. I worry that I’ll be too much or that those around me actually don’t like it often. I’ve hidden and still do hide just how odd I am from others, even people who know about this behavior of mine. There’s one person who I’m not afraid about being completely open to, and that’s my God. Everyone else just gets the watered-down in some way version of me. Just find people that you're sure you can trust with that side of you, and you'll be able to be as open about it as you'd like! It's scary at first, but once you realize others can absolutely be just as "weird" as you, then it's not as bad. You'll find someone you can unapologetically be yourself around one day! Thank you for the compliments, ehehe.

I actually was watching some more of KNY when you sent this in… which is why it took me a lil bit to respond. I just started episode 5 before checking Tumblr and seeing your ask!

You knew about that already? I was under the impression you wouldn't have seen any posts where I admitted to that before you went through my blog, hahah. I'm happy you find it cute, though. I know who every single one of my anons are! I just find it more fun to play dumb most of the time. Besides, I wouldn't wanna scare anyone off. As for liking your blog, I did! I recognized your profile picture from a show that one of my friends likes… I still need to watch it.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your friend. It's unfair to you that she's ignoring you like that, even if she's mad at you. You don't deserve that at all. I truly hope that you're able to sort things out with her. Things will get better, and I'm sure you'll be able to make more friends in the future too <3

Oh dear, that sounds awful. I would also die of fear if there were ants in my room!! I hate hate hate bugs. They're the worst! "Oh, but Bon, they're important to the environment-" I do not care! The environment is not my house!! They can do whatever they want outside where they belong. Very reasonable reaction to set them on fire

Ooh, now I understand why you referenced that meme! Thank you for taking the time to explain it to me. By the way, I think you said "because" 10 times? I may have miscounted, though.

[thaisibir]

The Niijima sisters and envy

I want to talk about the Niijima sisters AKA best girls and how their relationship stands out to me in this epic 100+ hour game. (P5R spoilers below the cut)

There's no denying that Sae is hella stunning, smart, talented, and successful.  Yet it's interesting that Makoto never shows obvious or outward signs of jealousy or resentment whenever these aspects of Sae are brought up in the games. I'm sure there was pressure or inadequacy felt on Makoto's part when the principal mentions Sae's success as a prosecutor to get Makoto to follow in her footsteps. (Dick move on the principal's part) But we never get moments like Makoto expressing wishes to be more beautiful or smart like her sister. Instead there's just that fierce, earnest sisterly love she has for Sae, a love so strong that it's the reason she joined the Phantom Thieves, and why she's willing to "fight in her corner" and say to Sae "I'm on your side." Even in times when Sae didn't really deserve it, like when she lashed out at Makoto over dinner, or as she teeters on the brink of corruption by the time of the casino palace arc. Whenever Makoto does talk about Sae, I perceive respect and admiration from her more than anything else. In the dancing game, Makoto talks about how both are trained in aikido but Sae kicks her ass every time. I never got a sense of Makoto disliking Sae for this. It's more like "my big sister is so good and I want to keep trying and work harder to be her equal one day." That's part of why I like Makoto so much. Drive, ambition, and strong work ethic are core parts of her character, but she doesn't let envy or resentment get the better of her. That's what differentiates the sisters, why one of them becomes a heroic Phantom Thief and the other is almost consumed in shadow.

Meanwhile it's Sae who's experiencing the envy. This may have come as a surprise to some people. Like I mentioned before, she's practically perfect. What does she have to be jealous of? But I've been in her shoes before. I'm an older sister who works in a high paying male-dominated field (surgery and anesthesia). My younger sister got to pursue the major and career our parents wouldn't let me do (art). With a retired mom, deceased dad, and sister + brother in-law scraping by on minimum wage, I occasionally work overtime or pick up incentive shifts to rake in extra money to support my family on top of supporting myself. The position Sae is in, the career struggles she faces as a woman in a gentleman's club, it's so, so relatable and scarily realistic. The envy an older sibling feels for the younger sibling with more freedom is something I've experienced, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. The way Sae loses her temper at Makoto and calls her useless is definitely unfair and unwarranted, but we can at least understand where she's coming from. Maybe Sae used to have Makoto's optimism when she was younger. But now she is an overworked and stressed adult, the sole breadwinner for the family, worn and beaten down to a cynical and bitter shadow of herself due to the trappings and pressures of society. The very unhealthy way she is dealing with the death of her father, and thinking of him, is certainly not helping things. (Having lost my dad unexpectedly a few years ago myself, I can't help really pitying Sae for the way she's trying to fight through life without apparently any kind of support network or healthy outlet for her emotions.) The manifestation of Shadow Sae is what happens when Makoto's pure drive and ambition become twisted and corrupted. Meanwhile Makoto is a high school student brimming with potential, free to take matters into her own hands so she can enter another dimension with her thief buddies to drive a nuclear motorcycle and punch the hell out of monsters and save and free Sae from herself. The inevitable clash of sisters is a valuable lesson, a cautionary tale, to remind us that we shouldn't lose sight of the values we hold dear, to not let the world twist us into shadows of ourselves.

All of this more or less articulates why I was so drawn to the Niijima sisters, their characters, arcs, and development as I played P5R. It's a refreshing and (in my opinion, at least) a well written portrayal of sister dynamics. I do wish there was more Sae could do and say to try making up for the harsh treatment toward Makoto after the casino palace. But hey, that's what fanfic is for.

[rrelationshipadvice]

Sooo...

I'm friends with a boy with whom I've been in a situationship before. He ended things with me in January but we stayed in contact and after a month I asked him if we could try again with each other. He said no, because even though he really likes me as a person and would really want to stay in touch he's not in love and he doesn't think he'll ever be, he's just too afraid of commitment to do so. We agreed to continue as friends in the end (I also asked for some no contact to help me feel better and calmer).

We've been friends for a while now.

We text quite regularly, met up once but planned more hangouts (uni is crazy right now for the both of us) and talk on the phone. We're both in each others' close frineds list on instagram too. I think it's safe to assume that he didn't agree to be friends just to be polite. He's even fixing some behaviours that were sources of conflict before (like not telling me when he's busy just brushing me off - now he tells me and makes sure I know he likes to talk to me/meet up with me).

The thing is that I still like him a little, and I think he might like me too it's just that he can't sort out his own emotions. There were small things that happened that I don't really do with my guy friends (I have had multiple for years and years and I'm quite close with some of them). I'm talking about things like intense eye-contact, almost flirty teasing, brushing of hands/knees/arms, him saying "kisses" when ending a phonecall, stuff like that. He even told me that he doesn't care if people think that we're together, if they want to spread that rumour then so be it (I was really upset about people saying this, as I didn't want him to think that I want to get him back or make him uncomfortable in any way).

AND he also did something that confused me even more. Back when we first started talking he sent me a spotify playlist to show what music he liked. I loved it actually, started following it and asked why am I the only one who does when it's public and so good. At first he thought it was private and then said it's probably because he doesn't show it to many people. I think it was private and he made it public to show me (he also added like 24 songs to it that same day but none after that for a while). He started adding songs again like 5 days ago. Some of them have some pretty interesting lyrics (for example "I wanted to kiss you but I didn't know how" or "I'm going crazy for you"). BUT I'm not the only one following it anymore, there's another user. He also posted a new profile pic like 5 days ago. And on that same day a close friends story with some music (no suggestive lyrics there but it's weird to me that he knew I would be reminded that I'm still in his close friends list).

Is he trying to make me jealous or something?? Is there someone new he's talking to? Why would he use a playlist that his "ex-situationship" follows to show someone (I think that is a bit risky because it could easily be interpreted as him being not completely over me or make the girl feel like a replacement).

I'm probably overanalyzing things. I might be jealous but mostly I am confused. It's unusual for him to be this active on social media (or at least he wasn't like this while we were in that situationship).

I've just started to make peace with being there for him as a friend since I love spending time with him and he's so supportive and kind to me. He can calm my anxiety down like only my closest friends can. But it makes me feel weird that I might be dragged into something where I'll be "the other woman" or something like that.

What should I do? Should I ask him if he's seeing someone? Should I just continue being close/connecting with him? How do I stop myself from constantly thinking about what he might be thinking or feeling? I really don't want to go no contact but I'm getting tired of having to calm myself down and constantly worrying about being percieved as trying to get back together.

Thanks for anyone who answears, I'm genuinely at my wits end right now.

.

[not-poignant]

I find Caleb's 'omega envy' really interesting. Is he aware that he has it? And does he know that he's envying a designation that is oppressed? I can't help but feel like it's similar to privileged white people who are jealous of minorities because they've never actually experience what being a member of that minority group actually entails.

Like if Caleb was actually an omega, I highly doubt he'd have the same amount of bodily autonomy or a respectable job he enjoys. To me Caleb comes across as someone who is lacking the self awareness to acknowledge the privileges he has and how fortunate he is to have been born a beta in a society that treats alphas and betas better than omegas.

Idk if I'm making any sense with this but even the way he treats Efnisien. It's like Caleb is completely unaware that Efnisien as an omega is the unfortunate one here, not Caleb.

Whewz sorry for the rant.

Hi anon!

I feel like you might be new to omegaverse. Generally speaking, and very broadly across every omegaverse story, the alpha/beta/omega designations are considered gender designations. They're often called 'secondary genders.' And by and large, for over 20 years, they are considered either tropey or subversive explorations of gender, what makes gender and transness. (Sometimes it's just an excuse for knotting though, let's be real).

It's possible you've only read Underline the Red and not Underline the Black because omegaverse is also defined as a gender in Underline the Black here:

"It's the appendix [rutting] of the secondary genders."

In that sense, Faber's (I think you mean Faber, and not Caleb) omega envy is a gender comparison, or a trans metaphor, and not a race metaphor (especially since races do exist in the Hillview universe, and omega/beta/alpha designations aren't considered ethnicities, because people of all races can be these secondary gender designations and experience what Faber's experiencing too.)

The comparison that's more apt therefore is when someone who is AMAB knows/feels that they are a woman. Women are generally oppressed and live in misogynistic societies, and trans women do sometimes get challenged along the axis of 'why would you want to be a woman' (they don't have a choice, is the thing, they're trans) or 'how can you be a woman when you can never understand our oppression' (a giant TERF red flag, and absolutely concern trolling, because trans women are some of the most oppressed people in the world).

Like if Caleb [Faber]* was actually an omega, I highly doubt he'd have the same amount of bodily autonomy or a respectable job he enjoys.

He wouldn't. He knows that. He's definitely aware that he has omega envy, and he's ashamed of it actually for the reasons you're pointing out (though along a gender axis, and not a race one). Underline the Red only has two chapters up on AO3 and it's very early days re: what we know about Faber's deeper thoughts regarding this issue. But he knows better than most how many omegas get treated because he works at Hillview.

To me Caleb [Faber] comes across as someone who is lacking the self awareness to acknowledge the privileges he has and how fortunate he is to have been born a beta in a society that treats alphas and betas better than omegas.

This just isn't how being trans works.

A trans woman can't go 'well I'm going to remind myself of all the privileges I've had being raised as a man so I'll go back to feeling grateful for being a man (even though I'm a woman and very few people respect that.)' I mean they can do this, but it's not exactly a very gender affirming thing to do, y'know?

It's like when people say that nonbinary folks who are "assigned gender passing" (i.e. they appear to be the gender that they were assigned at birth) have 'privilege' over nonbinary people that aren't. That's somewhat true in specific situations, but what it actually means is the 24/7 experience of having your gender constantly disrespected, and living in a world where affirmation almost never exists except among a very closed knit group of people. So yes, there's some privilege in some settings, but in the day-to-day, there's also a great amount of ongoing oppression that continues.

Also, as a trans person, I know I'm writing a trans metaphor, because I'm using a trope system (omegaverse) that is famously used to explore gender, and because I literally called it a gender system in my story, which is how you know it's about gender, and not race.

Within the Hillview and omegaverse universes, people of colour can experience this, it's not exclusive to white people. It doesn't belong to white people. It's about gender, which happens to everyone.

Idk if I'm making any sense with this but even the way he treats Efnisien. It's like Caleb [Faber] is completely unaware that Efnisien as an omega is the unfortunate one here, not Caleb [Faber].

I don't think... you've read this story all the way through? Or have only read the first few chapters before stopping. So I'll be clear even though it might be a spoiler for you, anon, Efnisien isn't an omega. He's an alpha. Efnisien is unfortunate because he's suffered a lifetime of abuse and medical experimentation, and for many other reasons, not least that he still experiences some omega oppression (along with transphobia), but Efnisien's not an omega.

*Edit to quotes added for clarity.

[what-if-nct]

hihihi today's reminder is ok let's talk friends because this is my first time in a few years watching it all the way through and I'm halfway through season four and i have Thoughts

Monica reminds me a bit of me where she just is so clear about what she wants in a relationship, like I've always been called crazy for dating to marry instead of "enjoying my 20s" but like i am enjoying it with someone I'll enjoy the rest of my life with too, and i soooo see that in Monica and it makes me feel better. which is funny because i never resonated with her like that before, but at the point I'm at right now in life, i see so much of myself in how much she holds these very few people dear, how she values her community and her stability and is always the one making sure the community has a place and a reason to gather

i love love love good character growth so Rachel, chandler and Joey are obviously my babies. Rachel is annoying about ross but we'll forgive that for how hard she worked to go from spoiled daughter to waitress to fashion icon we love her here she deserves the best. Phoebe also obviously my own child, i bore her and raised her and watch all her performances while beaming with pride Ross… David schwimmer saves him a lot let's just say that. when I'm not really watching as much as listening to the show while i play candy crush, he's unbearable, but he's funny when you watch him. almost charming sometimes

ok relationships: Monica and Chandler remain untouched. i love the idea of Joey and Phoebe, and there's a fair bit of hinting towards it and it's a shame they never explored it but i just love Mike so much. Joey and Rachel though, yes, a million times yes. they could've been mondler part 2, they could've had it all. they truly wasted that pairing by using it just to make Ross jealous. and Ross... well. does he deserve love, really? no he doesn't why the fuck did they spend so long building Rachel up as someone so smart and confident and self made and comfortable in her own skin just to waste her on a man that will control her every breathing second and somehow make himself the victim for her daring to have her own life and her own feelings

yeah i don't like Ross lmao. i also like the idea of Rachel ending up with Mark (… the one who got her her job not the nct rapper) just as a fuck you to Ross and because he seemed super sweet and actually genuinely rooted for her based on nothing but kindness

Hii, Firstly I commend you so much for sticking to your own standards and values, I respect that so much you know what you want and you didn't settle for less and you're getting exactly what you wanted. I love that so much. And Monica was very driven and sure of herself and I have a soft spot for her of course from her childhood as a fat kid like so many of her flashbacks really struck home for me. And I won't get into the way 90s\00s shows showcased fat people but I will say The Gilmore girls is the only show albeit not perfect who did a pretty good job in how they presented sookie who i love. But also her being the left behind child who was always in Ross's shadow and didn't get the love and care she deserved from her parents. Like I love Monica and I'm glad she got her happy ending. Rachel dropping her past life, running off from her wedding and starting all over from scratch alone foreshadowed her growth, obviously not the best judge of character with men especially when it comes to Ross but we can look past that. But I loved her with Joey so much. Joey is just a joy, a delight, he was like 25 when I was just a one year old but he is my baby and i love him. I totally forgot about Mike oh I loved him with Phoebe. Oh I would have loved to see what was going on with Dan and Serena and Blair which If you've seen gossip girl it was confusing as hell right. But like that with Joey and Phoebe and Rachel. Like Joey explores things with Phoebe but ultimately ends up with Rachel and Phoebe with Mike. But like all three are like still super chill with each other. And Ross, I have never and will never like that man. David Swimmer is a delight but Ross is the worst. Ted Mosby from how I met your mother was birthed from Ross Geller. I will not get into Ted but iykyk. But yeah Fuck Ross.