#three hearts anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 4th

teen angst anon, three hearts anon, bottle anon, junk food anon, elaboration anon (tw: possible abuse), clusterfuck anon (new), W anon

Teen Angst Anon

Hi!

Honestly I'm proud of you for taking a day off to rest. I know sometimes that can be stressful as well, but you need to take care of yourself.

Let me know how the next project goes! I'd love to hear updates!

PS- I'm looking back over these and I forgot to copy yours, I'm so sorry!

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Three hearts Anon

Hi hon <3

Honestly, the fact that you are so worried about what type of person you are tells me that you are a good person. Bad people don't worry about if they're bad people, you know?

But it also sounds like you're struggling a lot right now. things are hitting you hard and you're making some not-so-great decisions (piercing your ear in the bathroom at school). I think it might be time to think about asking for some help. Your aunt sounds supportive. Could you try to talk to her? Maybe ask her about helping you talk to a therapist? You don't deserve to go through life feeling like this, you know? I think talking to an adult could help.

__________________

Bottle Anon

hey, it's bottle anon.

So I can't remember if I used my anon name or not to talk about some guy I like.

Well, schools back and there's a new girl. And she's taken and demisexual so I know she won't date him after knowing him for all of 2 days but they just... click? Idrk. Sometimes I just think he gets sick of my ramblings or stupid shit I say but she just seems... perfect. They have way more in common and they talk a lot more. We're a trio now and it almost feels like I'm rejecting myself from the trio so I don't get hurt again based off past experiences.

I want to get to know her, I want to like her, I just can't. It feels wrong. Me and him have been a duo for 8 months now and we know each other so well. But it's both off balance and makes perfect sense having the new girl around. Maybe I'm just jealous or stupid or just don't want to be hurt by her. And it's not like I can straight up tell them.

But then I let slip that I was kinda threatened by her to my guy best friend, the one I like and it kinda reassured me. He said that no one can replace the random shit I say, yes I told him I felt like she was replacing me.

I used to have like daydreams of me and my guy best friend together but now everytime I do I just see them and I'm just a bystander. I know it'll never happen, both me with him or her with him but it's throwing me off.

Its super stereotypical teen girl and I hate it. I hate having female hormones and female cycles. But that's a rant for another day.

-Bottle anon

Hi!

I'm so sorry, that sounds so frustrating. I wish I had some magic way to make everything better, but honestly I think you're doing the best thing you can do- communicating to your guy best friend that you feel a bit threatened. That way resentment doesn't build, you know? And to his credit, he did a great job of reassuring you. It sounds like he really cares about you. I can guarantee it's how you want, and I know that sucks, but it's good to know you have someone who values your friendship so much. I'm sending you a lot of love, it's a shitty situation.

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Junk food anon

Yes, just please remind me each time not to attach the ask or I'll forget!

Okay, I need you to understand me when i say: I am also overweight. Trust me. I have had an unhealthy relationship with food my entire life and I still struggle with it to this day. But you have to hear me when I say that 'quick' solutions are not quick. They're not healthy. And in the long run, they will NOT make you feel better. I swear that to you.

I am sending you so much love and I understand your struggle, but please try to understand what I'm saying <3

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Elaboration Anon

hi cas, this is elaboration anon :))

i hope you’re doing okay cas ❤️

so from the research i did, i don’t think this is emotional abuse, it’s not that bad atm however it does still have a strong negative impact on me

here’s some of the things he does:

- is a bit controlling about food, i mean he’s pretty obsessed with healthy eating. and i totally get it, but the constant lectures are getting a bit tiring. plus, me not wanting to drink cabbage juice is not the end of the world

- if he’s mad at me for something, he’ll be cold and distant for a few days, and he dismisses me if i try to talk to him about anything. he usually apologises later though

- my main problem is the arguments with him that are very frequent. they usually consist of him being really mean to me and me crying, and often the reason for the argument is something small that i didn’t even notice that it happened (the latest one was because i was unloading the dishwasher and i forgot to put away a glass because i got called away by my brother)

- also, often during arguments he says stuff like „i’m smarter, i’m better than you, i’m older and i know better”. which like okay but how does that relate to the subject at hand? the argument isnt about resolving the problem, it’s more him being awful to me and me defending whatever i did

- he’s a bit manipulative, like he’ll do something nice for me and then he will always use it against me in an argument, like „i made you a sandwich for school, i’m such a great parent, and you’re so awful to me”. if i point out something that he does during an argument, he might apologise, but then he’ll be like „i’ve already apologised three times for what i did, i’m such a good parent but you’re so ungrateful and disrespectful”

- always disregards my opinions on subjects, to the point where i’ve stopped sharing them and i just agree with whatever he says

i know this doesn’t sound like he’s that bad, but it just feels worse than typical parent-child arguments

like sometimes i’m lowkey scared to be around him because i know i’ll fuck up somehow and then he’ll be scolding me for hours

idk, i’ve talked with my best friend about my dad sometimes and he says that how he behaves is not okay

i get really anxious on the way home sometimes, just knowing that i’ll have to face him

but on the other hand, he can also be really nice to me sometimes and he does a lot of good stuff too. though sometimes he’s only nice to me because we had an argument and he feels bad or smth

on the bright side, i’m going to go to another city for university next year, and rn my dad is not here a lot because he has a job somewhere else and comes back on weekends

so it’s not like it’s all bad, but this definitely makes me feel even more depressed than i already am

i don’t know what to do

Hi!

I think that whether or not this is abuse, the problem remains that he makes you feel anxious and unsafe sometimes. Do you have another adult you can talk to about this that knows more about the situation? Maybe someone who can help mediate, like a grandparent or therapist? I think the problem is, he needs to know how you feel, but telling him isn't going to help, because it might make it worse...

________________

Clusterfuck anon

Here's the beginning of your ask, so you know it's you!

Hey apologies I’ve come for a rant… I hate the mixture of me and mental health care. It’s not working and I don’t know what to do.

I high key agree- the mental health system SUCKS.

Here's a couple suggestions:

Bring someone with you to your next appointment. Have that person explain how much you are struggling, in a way that maybe you might now be able to explain

Write another letter and bring it to your appointment. But this time, ask the doctor to put the letter in your file. This way, if they don't do anything, they're legally responsible if you end up worse.

If you're mentally able to do so, come to your appointment with suggestions of what you need. I know it's not your job, but the more you push, the more you'll get.

Ask your providers what their plan is. All providers should have a treatment plan. Ask them what theirs is for you.

Up front, tell your providers (especially your therapist) that you minimize things. I did that with my therapist and now when I say "yeah things are great" they always push me to say more lol

Wishing you luck!

_______________________

W anon

Hi Cas!

It's W again. I had a competition today and I did really well! I didn't place or anything but compared to my own past results, I've improved a lot! There was some weirdness with some of my friends but overall it was a great day. And tomorrow, I'm driving a couple states away to tour a college I did get accepted too! So things are looking up, I guess.

Which is kinda funny bc like 2 nights ago I was so freaked out about eveverything i literally texted a hotline :(. But I think I figured out a few small things I can do to contribute in general or to help my own quality of life, and idk I'm just a bit hopeful now. Maybe it's false hope but that's okay.

Anyway I hope you have a good day!

-W

Ps. Bread anon, I don't know you, but I had a rlly good loaf of everything bagel sourdough that my neighbor gave me yesterday. So uh... yeah <3

Hi!

I'm so glad things are looking up! I think this is a great reminder that even when things feel awful, they can get better again. I hope your college tour goes well, and congrats on improving in your competition!

[trias-tiny-time]

Anyone open to boops ?? Wanna boop !!!

[trias-tiny-time]

My back righ now :(

[answers-of-the-heart]

"We just got here."

@ask-straw-hat-luffy (Oh lawd he coming)

(Coat and Colors based off of this)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anonymous Advise Asks - February 10

6 anon, three hearts anon, angry anon, unnamed anon (new), confused 2 anon (new)

6 anon

We made it to states on a wild card placement, and the chances of that were like 2 percent! TWO, and we got it!!! I am very happy. I got 2 superior awards and 1 excellence award. However the downside is that it's in Detroit, but it's ok because my best friends are going to watch so yippeeee

OMG that's amazing, I'm so excited for you!!! Please keep me updated and tell me how it goes!

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Three Hearts Anon

So if I'm understanding correctly, you can't go to therapy because of something your aunt did? I mean I don't know the whole situation but...I don't think you should sacrifice your mental health to protect her. Like...you're the kid in this situation, you know? You deserve to get help.

Also I promise you that everyone you love does not hate you. I have definitely felt like that before and I get how it feels all-consuming, but there are people who care aboutyou, I swear <3

________________

Angry Anon

Hello, Cas! Angry anon here lol

I want to say THANK YOU for taking the time to reply!! It helped me quite a bit to calm down.

I started writing fanfics for the first time and also made some art that people liked even tho they were pretty messy :D It helped me vent A LOT. I could even talk about stuff that could potentially trigger other people but in fanfics they're just there (like eating habits).

I feel guilty talking about stuff with friends. I think I weight them down and they already have their own problems to deal with, I hate being another one of those.

My situation still kinda sucks but for the first time in like two weeks they actually let me sleep for six hours three days in a row ayy, I think that's improvement (?)! I think one of the reasons I was so upset was them not letting me rest at all, it's different if someone stays up so late and wake up in the middle of the night and has to go places early morning because they just do but was kinda frustrating that I needed to do that because they didn't give me any other choice.

Anyway, I also tried the paper crumpling, didn't really work for me and there's no rage rooms nearby but I put googly eyes on my phone and that somehow worked?? Idk

I might vent here occasionally (you're free to ignore it if you feel like it) but yeah, thanks

Hi! I'm so proud of you for finding ways to cope! Writing and drawing are amazing ways, and though I've never tried putting googly eyes on my phone- if it works and it doesn;t hurt anyone I'm all for it! I'm also really glad you've gotten some sleep <3 Keep it up with the healthy coping!

Also yes, you are always allowed to vent here <3

_________________

Unnamed Anon

Hey cas

I'm not gonna use my anon name cause I feel kinda bad about this but.

Backstory- I think I might be bi? But I live in a very religious very homophobic community and I'm not interested in dating yet ( Honestly im super confused) so I'm not out. And I probably won't be. Which is. A whole other thing.

But. This girl (I'm a girl) I've had a crush on for the longest time. I think she's straight. Anyway I really like her. And like... romantically, platonically, however she'll have me, pathetic I know but she's amazing. I applied to the college she's going to just... because of her. Which no one knows. But anyway.

She was dating this guy. I never met him. I only knew in passing. And she apparently just broke up with him. And like, secretly I'm a little happy. Which I feel terrible about! But she's handling it okay, not heartbroken, and it means she has more time for me (it's not like she'd date me now, she's just not doing boyfriend stuff) So idk. I just feel confused and yucky.

Side note, it means she probably doesn't have a prom date? She'll probably get one cause she's super pretty and amazing and everything but like... idk. The delusion lives on.

Even if she wasn't straight and I was out, she's kinda out of my league. I think I'll never forget her tho.

Thanks for being you

Hi <3 I think it's absolutely okay and natural to feel confused about all this, especially with your upbringing. But please know that none of what you're feeling is wrong or bad- even the mixed feelings about your crush's breakup!

Honestly, I think we've all felt like that before- a bit happy (and a bit guilty for feeling happy) when something like this happens. It's not like you're celebrating over a tragedy like a death or a fire or anything like that. You're not even outwardly celebrating! If it was one of those things, then I might say you should feel guilty. But you're not, so please don't beat yourself up. If it makes you feel any better, once I asked a guy out like four hours after he broke up with his girlfriend bc I was so excited he was single...it happens.

_________________

[trias-tiny-time]

Omg I saw this on my feed a min ago @littles-blog-103 this is soooo cute !!!!

If you call me any of the ones I like I will actually melt into a little puddle :>

M feeling a little under the weather from all the storms goin on in my area (I love the rain but I get really nasty headaches from them) so I thought I’d retreat from my NSFW to here.

Feelin a little fuzzy around the edges from stress anyways :{

Stay safe, luv all y’all !!!

- Tria-cor （╹◡╹）♡ ♡ ♡

[trias-tiny-time]

Tinkiebell!!!!!

tink! :))

[askblueandviolet]

MASTER POST

Asks Start 💙💜

Previous 💙💜

Next 💙

[fatuismooches]

HELLLLLOOOOOOO

I SAID A LOT IN MY OTHER ASK BUT I FORGOT TO MENTION MY APPERCIATION OF HOW YOU WRITE THE READER!! They're so well written in a way that makes it easy to insert one's self into their position without being broken from immersion! (*^ー^)ノ♪ It's really nice to see!!!

OKAY, THIS IS A BIT SELF-INDULGENT, BUT HEY, THIS IS X READER, AND IT’S RARE FOR ME TO FIND A CHARACTER THAT COMES FROM A PLACE WITH REP OF MY CULTURE, SO I’M GONNA HAPPILY DELUDE MYSELF A BIT WITH THE SMALL THINGS IN THE CULTURE. (/_;)/~~

But imagine Akademiya!Dottore and reader experiencing daily life in Sumeru together? Or at least the Reader dragging him around the city for dates and breaks!!!

• Like going to the market area, bargaining with merchants and sellers to try to lower the prices of items. Do you think Zandik would be the type to bargain? Especially if it’s something he needs for his tinkering experiments? Or does he leave it to the Reader?

• Or maybe the Reader dragging him to clothing shops, trying to get him to try on several traditional outfits, only to not buy anything because it’s too expensive anyway. But that’s alright because now the Reader has had the lovely experience of seeing Zandik in all those outfits. (Though I suppose, with that Fatui income Pantalone please spare me some extra change in current times, they could splurge a little on outfits for themselves, Zandik, and even the segments!)

• Ohhhh, and the cuisine too??? ＼(_ _) All that delicious, mouthwatering spicy food! The sweet shops? The street food? Just the Reader and Zandik walking through the streets of the city, with the Reader convincing Zandik to try all the sweet snacks being sold by street vendors. Watching it be made in real time (The Reader is probably broke at this point, but it’s fine because FOOD.)

• And this one is more niche—and a bit of a joke (but also my reality)—but imagine making chai (tea) like five times a day. Probably unhealthy if the reader overloads it with sugar.

“Hey, wanna drink some chai, Zandik?”

“Didn’t you just make some two hours ago???”

(Tea-drinking might need to be cut back during current times for Fragile!Reader’s health because all that sugar probably wouldn’t bode well for their condition.)

• And during those walks through the streets, stopping to feed and play with the stray dogs and cats they come across! Zandik grumbling about how it’s a waste of time because they could’ve been back in their dorm working on reports or studies, yet still sneaking in a few pets for the stray cats.

I’m sure Fragile!Reader would miss these things. What used to be daily or weekly activities are now either no longer possible or something they no longer have the energy to do, leaving them yearning for the liveliness of their past. They could long for the food of that one street vendor but its been almost 500 years now, they're already long gone. They don't really have the strength to drag Dottore around anymore, and they can't even be outside for too long either. A reality they have to accept for now

OKAY BYE IMMA SCREAM

- 💀🎉 Anon

Despite it being a crucial part of obtaining a bunch of interesting and hard-to-get items, Akademiya Dottore's bargaining skills leave much to be desired. And it's not because he's necessarily bad, but because his delivery always comes out in an unfavorable way. It doesn't even have much to do with his reputation as the Outcast, after all, money is money to these vendors, but rather because he just comes off as blunt and sometimes even impatient (even unintentionally.) Always having an answer right after and lacking formalities... Thankfully he becomes much better at this as he grows older. Omega is an example of that.

Though Zandik only really bargained with items related to his experiments and curiosity. He usually just got the cheapest things for food and saved for other things, though you quickly made sure he got a balanced diet. Whenever you are chatting with a seller, he is just in the back, arms crossed and shooting huffy stares. you make sure to block the merchant's sight of him lest they get uneasy. Although he won't admit it, he's grateful for your help. Sometimes he ponders how good you are at getting people on their good side, and then he realizes he too is wrapped around your finger. (The truth of the matter is that he's not that good at talking to others.)

Zandik would never waste time heading into random shops - at least, that's what he told himself before you quite literally dragged him there. Poor guy just buries his face in his notes until you throw him into the dressing room. The old ladies there are asking when the date of the wedding is. Needless to say, it was mostly a one-and-done experience because being your dress-up doll is not what he signed up for, but you've burned the images into your mind already!

(For some reason, Pantalone seems to have a soft spot for you and will forward you Mora on some occasions, mostly to spite his fellow co-worker. It makes The Doctor fume not only because he's still waiting for approval on funding, but he doesn't appreciate the buddy-buddyness.)

I also like to imagine when fragile reader wakes up, they have quite a nice and surprisingly big wardrobe because Dottore and the segments have been slowly buying things they think you'd like over the course of a few centuries.

One thing about Zandik is that he loves the food of his country, refuses to admit it, and then gobbles it down directly contradicting himself!!! Reader always has to make sure to take some home for Zandik and remind him not to eat it all in one go because of their limited funds...

Dottore has been petting the strays since before he met you - even birds tended to flock around him. Not that he told you that of course. He doesn't want to seem... soft, he thinks as a crowd of kitties are looking at him expectantly.

(Not niche at all for me because I have been drinking at least one or two cups of tea every day for years since I was a kid. Should I be worried.)

Technically, Zandik isn't in a position to criticize you considering his consumption of coffee during all-nighters, and he too adds sugar to his... but that won't stop him from confiscating the tea bags if he needs to. Although most of the time he just takes you up on your offer, and you sip it together while doing some work. And he does enjoy the moments it brings, mostly in the morning when it's silent save for the sipping.

Fragile reader would undoubtedly cry a bit before accepting the reality they now face. Everything they once loved was now gone or nigh impossible, everything except Dottore of course. But that's why he does his best to liven your life up a bit - he'll make sure his agents cook the food you miss even if it's not comparable, he'll let you point to places and gently pull him, unresisting. The past may be long gone, but he'll make sure the future is something you'll be able to enjoy to the fullest one day.

[yuwuta]

If megumi asked uzhsjdhshd omg I totally see it tbh him wanting you, but I don't think megumi would ever ask yuuji to share you, in any type of way at all. (not trying to push my own hc here!!) I feel like yuuji himself would be the one asking megumi. Yuuji knows that he's yours just as much as he knows you're his. And he loves you too much, a lot, it's purest type of love he has ever felt for anyone. And megumi is his best friend, he loves him just as much, right? Yes, not the same love between you and him ofc but yes. And I have no idea what they were doing but yuuji's just says, kind of out of the blue, that he'd let megumi fuck you. The reason being exactly cause he knows you're his, and you're just so so good that he needs to have someone to talk to (about you and always so respectfully) and who better that his best friend?

you’re opening the pandora’s box that is itfs + reader…. god….. 

okok i agree. if you’re dating yuuji, megumi would never ask, yuuji would be the one to bring all three of you together. definitely because he loves you and you’re his, and he loves megumi too, so it just makes sense that his two favorite people also get to have each other—but also, yuuji can tell megumi likes you, and he can tell you think megumi is attractive and since yuuji’s so nice, what kinder thing to do than to set you two up so he can watch (: he definitely enjoys being the mediator, also enjoys the somewhat awkward air between you and megumi, how yeah, maybe it’s a little taboo that the two of you are about to make out while you’re boyfriend watches, but yuuji likes that too… also he likes knowing that you both like him. like how lucky is he that his best friend and his girlfriend adore him so much :(( you two together makes so much sense in his head, because he talks to megumi about you, and he talks to you about megumi, and now, he can just pour all his love for both of you out at the same time

but also…. i’d like to think that yuuji’s maybe not so nice when it’s the other way around—when he and megumi get together first, and you’re megumi’s best friend. he’s not mean, but he does like to tease... how naughty of megumi to ask out yuuji knowing he’s still got a crush on you, and god does yuuji like to tease him about it :/ jerks him off and taunts about how he knows megumi’s dirty little secret—that he’s in love with his best friend and fantasizes not just about having you, but about watching his own boyfriend fuck you too… 

yuuji knows megumi would take his feelings for you to the grave if he could (he’d have done the same with his feelings for yuuji if yuuji wasn’t the one to ask him out), but where’s the fun in that! you and megumi are sooo cute together after all, so yuuji doesn’t mind trying to get you two to confess to each other too. uses his proximity to megumi to get closer to you, takes advantage of his bubbly disposition to be physically affectionate with you, uses megumi’s feelings to his advantage to tease, to wink, to smirk whenever you and yuuji hug a little longer, when he texts megumi that he’s meeting up with you for lunch, when he gives you his jacket and doesn’t ask for it back… there’s so much fun in watching megumi blush and whine and get off at the thought of his best friend and his boyfriend together. and the thing is, yuuji genuinely does like you, too, he sees what megumi sees in you, and he thinks megumi is crazy to have not asked you out before, but he supposes everything happens for a reason, because now, this way, yuuji gets to be there and watch it all happen under his guidance. there’s something about the power, about being the bridge between you two even though you and megumi have known each other for much longer, about being in control of a dynamic that could have, but wouldn’t exist without him…

[causenessus]

been thinking about the suna smau all day. I have five different notes going for it + an entire brainvomit document. i've also gone through like 10 different versions of this text <3

[inkykeiji]

Q^Q I was going to send smut but all I can think about now is how touya-nii would sneak up on us, cover our eyes and say “guess who” and we really wouldn’t recognize him by his voice…

anon this is literally such a painful thought????? especially if he had been away for a while????? and he hates the way you hesitate, the way your voice trembles and strains with confusion, genuinely unsure for a moment—until you smell him, spice and ash and charred metal; until you feel him, an imposing aura you’d recognize anywhere, no matter what his voice sounds like.

it’s the longest you’ve ever taken to respond to this little habit of his—shouldn’t you have known it was him from that alone? has someone else been touching you lately?—and he’s rigid in your embrace as you turn to throw your arms around him and murmur into his neck how much you missed him, garnished with kisses.

[trias-tiny-time]

I wan it sooooo bad 🥹

blue puppy plumpie - douglas

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Since you’re really getting into the world of Jewish music, have you heard of chilik frank ? He’s a chossid who does ashkenaz/Klezmer. My absolute fav song from him is a song called ‘Rabi meir omer’ !

Ughh one thing I love about kletzmer is the emphasis on clarinet so many songs have. It makes me want to pick mine back up and play this by ear...

As well, this is how it feels to play clarinet:

[hoziersong]

i should probably try to sleep but before i leave: kenneth choi emmy when. buddietommy weird intricate dynamics continue to compel me. jlh slayed. henrietta and karen wilson absolute fucking legends. eddie centric episode when. buddie bachelor party extended cut when. also we have not talked about the glorious five minutes of ravi panikkar screentime this ep and ALSO now that he knows buck is bi i wanna know what he's thinking soooo bad. also MADDIE AND CHIM ARE MARRIED THEY ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE. alright that's it live laugh love weewoo show <3

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas

before i start i just wanna say that i think ur doing something rly amazing with how u help ppl

ur so cool and i defo look up to u sm!!!!!

so

idk where to start again lmao

im the same anon who asked about the shitty friends and prom

but now theres more sadly :(

so mum and dad had the next door neighbours round and normally id love that dads friend (who for the purpose of this well call d) is rly great and happy and just generally a golden retriever type guy which is cool

and d's gf (who well call s) is also great and loves to talk to me about the horses and shit (cuz i have 2 but they own an andalusian stud farm which is so cool!!!!) and s helps me when idk what to do and shit (im 15) cuz even tho ive had z (my homebred one) since i was like 6 months im still by NO means an expert so having s and d rly help

i added the context cuz i rly look up to them and i wanted to show how much

they mean a lot to me

so they came round fri night and we had lasagne (my favourite) and it was rly cool

but

somehow we got onto the subject of trans ppl. idek how but here we r ig 🤷🏻‍♂️. so ik that mum is vaugly transphobic (she talks about it a lot) but i always thought it was just like she doesnt like us. but it turns out that both mum dad s and d all HATE trans ppl. like a lot. so i was just sat there. the ONLY person defending trans rights and stuff and d and dad were talking about sum else idk so it was just mum and s. but they kept on going on and on about it. like no matter what i said theyd still hate us. so i recorded it. lots of it. atleast a good 7 mins straight of them talking shit. so eventually i got up and had a mini little panic attack in the bathroom (love that for me) but it was ATLEAST 2 hrs of this atp. but mums best friends r all lgbtq+ supportive. theyd be horrified at all this and all she said. and i have recordings. on the one hand i want nothing more than to ruin everything for her (i already had reduced amounts if empathy but now i feel nothing at all for them which is a shame ig) but on the other hand i just wanna forget it... kinda (shes still my mum)

obvs im not coming out as gender fluid like ever but im pretty sure atp she knows im bi lmao (my best friends mum who crochets is already making me a pride flag LMAO)

but this leads me on to my other thing

i said i already had reduced empathy but now i feel nothing. or as close to nothing as i can get w them being my parents. but its weird cuz i can still feel like care i used to have. i just cant... get to it

u know what i mean?

but i can feel myself slipping into having no care for anything at all (im already depressed so numbness is quite normal but this feels... different?)

idk what to do

also i have LOADS of issues in my head and i told mum about them and she just basically said its cuz of my ADHD (im not even diagnosed shes just CONVINCED i have it) cuz she thinks that ADHD is already a chemical imbalance so this isnt too far off. but surely even if it wad from ADHD id still go to like therapy and shit cuz i still feel it no matter where its coming from?

but yh

that happened ig

oh and after i ended up talking to some friends and having a panic attack but my friends rly helped and said theyre always there for me but after i said i was going to bed (it was like half 11 pm atp but we have diff time zones (im british lots of them r american)) i ended up staring at the wall for 4 hrs dissociating and then had a panic attack (rly bad this time) cuz what do u mean i literally lost 4 hrs?

but yh

that happened ig

doesnt rly matter lmao

anywhore feel free to ignore this if its triggering or u dont wanna answer it ❤❤❤

Hi!

It definitely matters, and that sounds so upsetting. I wouldn't send the recording out, but I mean...idk it might be petty, but maybe the next time your mum and her friends are all around together, bring up trans rights. See how it goes? Only if you're prepared to hear her say mean shit, but it could be interesting to see if her friends can talk sense into her.

I'm so sorry though, that's devastating and I'm so glad you have friends to support you. Naming you three hearts anon!