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#almost posted this with a smiley face where the <3 is in the text BUT I DECIDED NOT TO LAST MINUTE
causenessus · 3 months
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been thinking about the suna smau all day. I have five different notes going for it + an entire brainvomit document. i've also gone through like 10 different versions of this text <3
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lily-alphonse · 1 day
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🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity BONUS: 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here
Oh gosh the heat is on lol
🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?
I hate editing. I do not have the brain of an editor. Like I can do basic proofreading but when something feels off, and I start needing to move things around, and rewrite, OH MAN that's the WORST. Every once in a while I have a moment of brilliance while editing though and that almost makes up for it
🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
For Sidlink, Sidon is a switch who prefers to bottom. From what Ive seen, this is kind of an unpopular headcanon, but I stand by it.
🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity
Walk away. Go for a walk, go exercise, do something quietly where you can get bored. Zoning out while walking or trying to sleep is where 80% of my best ideas come from.
🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here
Intimidating.
I've been working on my Zelink renfaire fic lately Time After Time. This is going to be the start of Chapter 4
A new text came in as Zelda changed for the last time that night.   Link: I’ll wait up for you She almost tripped on her dress, her heart skipping a beat. She hesitated to answer, running through her options and hating all of them. 'Okay' was lame. A smiley face was vague AND lame.
Thanks for the ask, Sun <3
If you want to join the fun, here is the original ask game post!
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freakylilnutjob · 2 years
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I posted 3,198 times in 2022
That's 2,740 more posts than 2021!
406 posts created (13%)
2,792 posts reblogged (87%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@idealism-sits-in-prison
@newtness532
@asxitxis
@etheltheblog
@girlwhoknewtheoriginoflove
I tagged 2,379 of my posts in 2022
Only 26% of my posts had no tags
#heartstopper - 437 posts
#nick nelson - 220 posts
#charlie spring - 191 posts
#sav speaks - 114 posts
#asked and answered - 82 posts
#kit connor - 67 posts
#iwbft - 65 posts
#alice oseman - 64 posts
#advice - 59 posts
#important - 55 posts
Longest Tag: 130 characters
#t̷̬̳̫̜̬͙̯̝̤͌̇h̷̗̾̃̂̓̿̚̕̚ͅͅë̴̡̙̟͚͖͖̟́ ̶͙̲̱͍̝̔̔̾̾́d̴̛̫͚̳̫̈́̐̒̀̏̑̀͝ä̶̯͔͓͇̮̱̠͉́̓̋̌̈́̔̏ͅr̶̹̳̣̭̞̳̱͔͌ͅk̷̲̜͙̝̲̿̐̓ņ̷̢͔̺̤͕͕͓͋̐͆̈́̇́̆͜͠e̵͇͗̍͂̚s
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Me after reading every one of Alice Oseman’s books: Oh my god, I have never related to a set of book characters so much
419 notes - Posted August 26, 2022
#4
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screaming, crying, throwing myself against the wall
657 notes - Posted August 16, 2022
#3
little things in Heartstopper that I think about a lot (part two):
The smiley face that Nick drew still being on Charlie’s hand the next day
The way Nick looks when he tells Charlie, “C’mon, I bet you can do it!”
The rugby guys hyping Charlie up during practice and seeing him outside of the school gate and saying “C’mon mate, we’ve got practice!”
Charlie sitting up so fast after Elle messages saying Tara doesn’t like Nick
The use of ‘Why Am I Like This?’ and ‘My Own Person’ between episodes two and three
Taos mom being so kind and invested in Elle’s wellbeing
Nick being so defensive when Charlie asks him if he likes Tara and when he asks if he really went on a date with Imogen
Darcy saying, “Oh, hi” and the look on her face after Tara kisses her for the first time openly at school
The way Charlie reassures Nick their situation is nothing like the situation with Ben, the way he squeezed Nicks hand!!!
Literally no one knowing the rules of rugby but showing up to support Charlie anyways
Isaacs subtle eye roll and head shake when Elle suggests Harry and Charlie might be friends
The shot right after Charlie gets hurt during the rugby match where it shows Nicks back to the camera and Charlie’s friends on one side and his friends on the other
Nick saying, “You’ve got some mud on your face” to Charlie as if he isn’t covered in mud himself
“Ah, whoops” as Isaac kicks the monopoly board because he’s tired of Tao and Charlie’s bickering
Taos “incredibly erotic” dance moves
The almost hug between Nick and Charlie during the first bowling match
Tao running between Nick and Charlie to get to the dance machine when he easily could have gone around them
Imogen being incredibly mature by thanking Nick for being honest with her
Nick continuing to scroll up on his messages with Charlie in hopes it just hasn’t sent yet and not that Charlie stopped typing in episode eight
Tao’s landscape painting
That little bit of slow motion during Nick and Charlie’s kiss in the school corridor
Nick pretending he was going to drop Charlie in the photo booth and in the ocean
How Charlie’s voice goes a little high when Nick picks him up and he says “What are you doing!”
“… but I started liking him way before that.”
(part one)
1,891 notes - Posted July 21, 2022
#2
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2,445 notes - Posted October 4, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
little things in Heartstopper that I think about a lot (part one):
Mr. Ajayi noticing Charlie’s hesitation when talking about Ben, so he puts his pen down and stops what he’s doing to let Charlie know he has his full attention
Charlie’s little giggle after Nick showed him how to play rugby
the little smile on Nicks face after seeing “x” at the end of Charlie’s thank you text to him
“You look… it looks great!”
Nick not being able to look at Charlie after he hugged him for the first time so he just turned around, said “see ya Monday,” and left
Nick’s singular tear when seeing his “62% Homosexual” quiz result
Isaac just not replying to the group chat and continuing to read his book, unbothered
Nick ready to absolutely lose his shit when Charlie said he ran into Ben at the party and then immediately going to the opposite end of the spectrum when Charlie said he defended himself
the smile on Charlie’s face after he pulls away from Nick before hugging him again when they’re sitting on his bed the morning after the party
everyone’s reactions when the St. John’s rugby team comes out on the field
Nick being breathless and Charlie’s little double blink after the kiss at the arcade
the stars reflecting on Elle’s glasses when she realizes she likes Tao
when Nick goes, “Oi!” after Charlie said, “I thought I was the one who said sorry too much.”
Tara’s knowing looks at Nick before he tells her he and Charlie are going out
the way Darcy looks at Tara when she’s talking to Nick about how being out is hard
“What?… we’re not… he’s not… shut up!”
the little jumps and Charlie’s smile after Nick left after asking him on a date
the smile on Nick’s face after reading the message where Darcy called them “meddling gays”
the way Tao and Elle greet each other at the milkshake cafe
the smiles from Nick and Charlie at the end of episode six
the hug outside the cinema
the hug Tori gives Charlie in the beginning of episode eight
Darcy’s face after Tara kisses her at Sports Day
the smiles on Nick and Charlie’s faces outside the train station
Nicks mom apologizing to him without knowing if she actually did or didn’t make him feel like he couldn’t tell her he’s bisexual
how the lighting in the room or background often matches the flag colors for the character on screen
(part two)
3,262 notes - Posted July 15, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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n1cholaswang · 2 years
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ENHYPEN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND
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description: self explanatory. how i think enha would be as your bf
cw: suggestive (only for the legal members), fluff, annoying bf enha.
a/n: a filler post while i brainstorm ideas for my next fic 😻‼️
HEESEUNG
a lovely man
buys you all your favorites (food, drinks, snacks, etc)
bitches and whines if you don't make him ramyeon at least once a day
"c'mon babe im HUNGRYYY"
lets you wear all his clothes
absolutely gushes when you cheer him on as he games
"GET HIS ASS HEE!"
smiley lil bambi
tit squeezer even if you don't have tits
hugs from behind >>>
sending memes back and forth at ungodly hours
<3's fucking you in his hoodies.
"such a dirty, pretty baby... getting my clothes and my sheets all wet"
staring down jay, jake and sunghoon if they stare for too long
even tries to box them
"IT WAS FOR LIKE 2 SECONDS!"
"2 SECONDS TOO FUCKING LONG! GET OVER HERE SIM JAEYUN"
JAY
oh lord.
spends every last penny on you
even if you tel him not to
"stop! i have enough jewelry!"
"you could never have enough, love"
twerks on you outta boredom
"GET YOUR ASS OUTTA MY FACE"
"at least call my ass fat :("
cooks for you & feeds you
so much so that you feel like your stomach could explode
"jay, im full :((("
"nuh-uh! gotta make sure my lover is all good and plump so open wide :D"
has a thing for stomach fat and thick thighs
like he goes absolutely feral.
but even if you don't have either of those things, he loves you just the same
an ass squeezer
literally will squeeze and slap your ass anytime, anywhere
"JAY PARK >:("
"hey, in my defense, it was out in the open"
slaps his ass back,,, literally everywhere
"hey! >:("
"in my defense, it was out in the open"
quickies in the shower after practice >>>
"gotta make you cum real quick before jungwon comes in"
JAKE
omg
a fucking softie.
teaches you how to play soccer
and laughs if you fall
"ITS NOT FUNNY JAKE!"
dying laughing, clenching his stomach
plays games with you
any kind of game
board games, video games, games to do with sports, made up games
and you beat him in almost everything
"can't you let me win once?", he asks while playing candyland
"no :)"
forehead and temple kisses :(((
watched all your favorite tv shows and movies
cuddly baby :(((((
loves holding you no matter where y'all are
hugs from behind >>> pt 2
forces you to wear his boxers after y'all fuck
"i am not wearing that"
"why not?!"
"THEY HAVE LITTLE DICKS ON THEM"
"so what?! heeseung said they were cool :,("
SUNGHOON
a demon straight from hell.
taunts you for being shorter than him
"look at the midget :)"
"i may be small but that just means it's easier for me to cut your dick off :))"
buys you things that reminds him of you
like those shrek and donkey matching keychains
"why"
"cause you annoy me like how donkey annoys shrek"
he didn't get any for a while.
not even head
"YOU GAVE ME BLUE BALLS FOR A WEEK"
"YOU CALLED ME A DONKEY"
"I SAID YOU ANNOY ME LIKE DONKEY"
>:(
makes you work out with him
"babe... im tired"
"you've been walking for 2 minutes... WALKING"
fucks you against the wall
"you like that sweetheart?", he says while pounding into you, "you like it when i treat you like a little fleshlight?"
🙈🙈🙈
calls you every hour
"you alive?"
"you asked me this 20 minutes ago"
"yeah but your ghost could've texted"
😐
stupid ass mf but you love him regardless
SUNOO
softie pt 2
gentle pecks on your face
"sunooo stawwwhpppp"
"i canttt you're too cute"
:(
devastating in love with you
all eyes on you when you walk into the room
loves finding new restaurants to eat at with you
watching musicals at 2 am on his off days :((
a corny type of bf
like orders a large milkshake with two straws kind of corny
buys you plushes when he travels :(((
"babe im home!"
"IS THAT SNORLAX?!"
also likes fucking you with a plushie in your hand
"baby looks so innocent but they like getting fucked like a little slut, ain't that right?"
does push ups every morning with you on his back
"CMON KIM SUNOO YOU GOT THIS!"
"i- cant!"
"are you tryna say im fat :,("
"WHAT NO WHAT THE FUCK NEVER"
just like jay, he makes sure you eat well everyday
"open up :]"
"but baby, i already ate 4 corn dogs"
"and you're gonna eat another :)"
JUNGWON
half demonic, half soft
enjoys watching tv with his head on your lap
especially likes when you play with his hair
stealing kisses from you while you study :(((
mcdonald's flurries in the middle of the night
cooks for you
and fails
"too much water jungwon. j-jungwon, it's gonna overflow. JUNGWON-"
"JAY STOP IM TRYING OKAY?!"
"not trying hard enough", yall say
upset baby
a literal fucking child
pouts if you don't give him enough attention
"babe! :( it's been an hour already! :( can you put the book down? :("
supportive of you no matter what you do
lets you cry on his shoulder
but stares at you in disgust when you get his shirt wet
"ugh now i gotta put this in the washer 🙄"
stfu.
NI-KI
a demon?
no!
he's satan himself.
taunts you for being shorter than him pt 2
even if you're older
"look at you! you barely come up to my shoulder!"
"watch it riki, i will kick your fucking kneecaps out"
gets off on teasing you
teaches you dances
and laughs if you fail
but frowns if you did well
"why the long face babe?"
"you're tryna dance better than me and i don't like that >:("
teaches you how to box
or at least he tries to
"you're doing it wrong riki"
"then you do it heeseung! >:("
pouty baby
literally.
if things don't go his way, he gets all pouty and upset
"rikiii :((( what's wrong?"
":,( i said no pickles on the burger and they put pickles on it"
"😐 just take it off"
"BUT IT STILL HAS PICKLE JUICE ON IT"
dating him is like raising a newborn baby.
sleeping with him
but getting kicked off the bed in the middle of the night
"riki nishimura."
"hm?"
"you know your long ass legs literally pushed me off the bed last night"
"really? i didn't hear anything"
"WHAT?! EVEN HEESEUNG HEARD ME FALL TO THE FLOOR AND HE'S LIKE TWO ROOMS AWAY!"
"🤷🏻‍♂️ my bad?"
how are you even dating him
crown kisses :(((((
even if you think your hair is unruly, he will still find a way to kiss the top of your head and make you feel it
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frostedfaves · 3 years
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Naive (3)
Masterlist
Pairing: demon!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader
Summary: You pick up on the lies in Wanda’s life and she decides to show you the truth.
Warnings: 18+ ONLY, dark!fic, demon things™️, more hints at dom/sub because I’m a whore for demon!Wanda
A/N: I can’t believe that it’s been a month since I posted the last one 😭 I have some things planned for the next part and so on but I also kinda wanna take requests again??? idk we all know how I get overwhelmed easily with that so we’ll see what happens there. anyway tell me your thoughts on this please!
Previous part
Waking up feels like gasping for air after being trapped underwater. You aren’t sure how long you were asleep, but the mid afternoon traffic quickly alerts you of how much of the day has passed. 
Despite your head feeling like it’s made of cement, you manage to stand up, slipping off thin pajamas as you walk into the bathroom and stop at the mirror. Your skin seems tender in places and you’re a little bit startled when there isn’t a single indication of the bite marks and scratches you feel, even after rubbing your eyes a few times and turning in every direction possible. Deciding to let it go for now, you reach for the shower stall to turn on the water, detouring to the bedroom instead when you hear your phone ringing.
“Hello?”
“You didn’t save my number, did you?”
“Wanda?” You pull the phone away long enough to quickly clear your throat. “I mean hey, Wanda! What makes you think I didn’t save your number?”
“You answered like you didn’t know who was going to be on the other end.”
“Okay, you caught me,” you admit after a moment of silence. “I promise I’ll save it as soon as we hang up. Anyway, what’s up?”
“Remember that pet adoption center you pointed out to me?” You acknowledge her with a hum. “I was thinking about getting a cat…Wanna tag along?”
“Absolutely! I was just about to shower though so I can be ready in an hour or so.”
“Perfect! I’ll text you when I’m outside.”
The two of you say your goodbyes and you keep your promise of saving her number, typing in her name and hesitating on the emoji keyboard. Realizing you’d spent far too much time contemplating this, you simply save what you have and hurry back to the bathroom, something in your brain urging you to not keep her waiting.
-
Within an hour, she sends you a text in all caps and a smiley face that tells you she’s arrived, and you can’t hide the fact that you’re surprised when you come outside and she’s waiting on the passenger side of the car.
“Hey! How are you?” she greets cheerily as she approaches you with a hug, and you shiver when her hand touches your lower back. “Are you cold?”
“No, I’m okay.” You smile and thank her when she opens the door for you, attempting to collect yourself as she crosses to the driver’s side again. “I’m really happy to see you again.”
“You are?”
“Yeah,” you admit quietly as she pulls away from the curb. “Is that such a bad thing?”
“No no, I just didn’t want to assume you were enjoying our time together as much as I was.”
She places her hand over yours while she glances at you, smiling as she squeezes your fingers and thigh lightly. You feel a rush of something traveling from the places she touched to your brain, only slightly aware of the fog settling in your mind.
“Well I didn’t want to be too enthusiastic about it and scare you away if all you wanted was friendship,” you clarify, meeting her eyes when she reaches a red light.
“I suppose you’re looking for more too, then.”
“I am now.”
The light turns green and she breaks eye contact, but the little smirk that follows tells you everything you need to know. At least, you hope it does.
-
“I think he’s the cutest one we’ve seen yet,” you comment about the kitten that hasn’t looked away from Wanda since you approached his area. “He seems really drawn to you, too.”
“How did he get the name ‘Baby Satan’?” Wanda inquires with an employee, who approaches you with a chuckle.
“It’s actually Baby Stan, because we used to have an adult cat named Stan as well and needed to tell the two apart. We were going to give him a new name but decided to leave that up to his new family.”
“It says ‘Baby Satan’ though,” you cosign with Wanda, gesturing to the extra A mixed in with the magnetic letters that spell the kitten’s name.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I don’t know how that got there,” the employee apologizes as she reaches over to fix the sign, and you watch her freeze as Wanda touches her arm.
“Don’t be sorry. Keep it; I want to adopt him.”
“Okay, right this way,” the employee mumbles as she turns awkwardly and stumbles over to a desk, and as the two of you follow her, you look back to see Baby Satan still staring at the woman beside you.
“What was that about?” you speak up finally once you’re in the car with her new furry friend, and Wanda frowns at you while fastening her seatbelt.
“What?”
“Why did that employee react to you like that? You touched her and she started acting really weird after.”
“Oh, Kim’s fine!” she assures you as she fixes her mirror before pulling out of the parking lot. “I actually asked her about that while you were looking at scratching posts and she said I’d overstepped her boundaries and made her uncomfortable. Don’t worry, I apologized and everything’s good again.”
“She told you her name?”
“She was wearing a name tag, babe.”
Babe...that’s new. Still, the sudden nickname doesn’t completely distract you from the fact that you’re certain there was no name tag on Kim’s uniform. You’re debating with yourself about bringing this up when you notice her heading toward Lane County.
“Are you taking me to your house?”
“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” She glances at you and over her shoulder toward Baby Satan before turning back to the road. “I figured I could introduce both of my kittens to the place they’ll be spending a lot of time in.”
Her fingers brush over your knee as “my kittens” leaves her lips, and you’re almost embarrassed when your hips involuntarily buck slightly. Noticing the small change in your behavior, she takes advantage of your head turned toward your own window and allows her instincts to continue driving while she stares at you, placing her palm on your thigh and rubbing circles on the fabric covering it that brings her closer and closer to your core.
“Home, sweet home,” Wanda announces as she pulls her wandering hand away to park the car, jumping out a second later and grabbing her furry son from the backseat. “Hey there, Baby S.”
You step out of the car in a similar fashion of pulling yourself out of a swimming pool, taking in the fresh air and trying to relax yourself as you follow her into the apartment building. The hallways reflect the quiet and clean neighborhood as you make your way into the elevator and up to the 6th floor, suddenly entering the most empty apartment you’ve ever seen.
Of course there’s furniture: a couch with a TV mounted on the nearest wall, a dining table with a set of matching chairs, a few stools placed at the island and kitchen appliances that are shiny and new. But there isn’t any personal artwork, posters, books or even just a lamp that you could tell Wanda purchased herself with one glance.
“Are you staying in an AirBNB or something?” you ask as she carefully places Baby Satan’s carrier next to the couch, and she chuckles.
“I guess technically it was one before I moved in, but I’ve been here for two years.”
“Okay...so where are your pictures?”
“What?”
“Where are your pictures?” you repeat, maintaining a steady voice despite the expression she gives you as she faces you again. “Pictures of your family, friends, you as a child?”
“If you knew my family, you’d understand why you don’t see them here.” She startles you by practically growling her words but you press further.
“Okay but you also said you love plants and we’re the only living things in here.” You step back to put more space between you while quiet shuffling noises are heard inside the carrier. “What’s really going on here?”
You can easily spot the shift in Wanda’s emotions: going from defensive, arms crossed and eyes glaring to resigned with slightly sagging shoulders and a defeated sigh.
“Fine, you got me.” She bends over to pick up the carrier again and passes you on her way to the door, stopping a few feet away. “If you’re serious about pursuing a relationship with me, then I should probably show you my real home.”
“I don’t know...”
“Come on, love.” She comes just close enough to bring your hand into hers and a tingle spreads through your body, causing you to pull away but her grip only tightens. “I promise I’m not going to hurt you, and this is the only time I’ve lied.”
You find yourself being drawn closer to her, and an almost familiar feeling washes over you when her thumb begins rubbing gentle circles into your jaw. The metal on her ring is so cold it almost burns upon contact, yet you nuzzle into her more with each pass along your skin.
“Don’t you want to be good for me without being forced to your knees first?”
If the fog surrounding your consciousness wasn’t so thick, you might’ve been shocked by this side of her, so calm yet demanding you serve her. But the hand on your jaw seemed to cover every inch of your body and sink into your nervous system, forcing you to fall into her and let her lead you back to the car with a simple arm around your waist. You’re buckled into the passenger seat again and a slightly blurry grin greets you from behind the wheel seconds later.
“I can’t wait to make you mine.”
Your head falls against the car window as she drives to the edge of Lane County, and your altered vision picks up on businesses turning into isolated suburbs into grassy fields into forests. You travel along narrow, winding roads past the tallest of trees with very few spaces in between, and your hazy state of mind prevents you from panicking when Wanda turns onto a dirt path that doesn’t even seem to be safe for bicycles. The wheels bump along the forest floor until she comes to a stop just outside of a two foot dwelling, similar to a cave.
Once the two of you are out of the car again, she holds your hand with her free one until you reach the cave, instructing you to sit in front of it while she does the same. She places her palm on the door, and her rings seem to come alive as they interact with it for a few moments before it swings open and the three of you are sent flying through a tunnel. You land with a groan on the hard floor and dust yourself off as you carefully stand, any questions dying in your throat as you face Wanda again, now standing before you in her true form.
“Welcome home.”
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lacharcutiere · 3 years
Text
still [sawamura daichi]
1,6k words
previous | masterlist | next ➪
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part eight of i’m gone i’m gone i’m gone miniseries. you can only put these things off for so long.
JST: japanese standard time (GMT +9). EST: eastern standard time (GMT -5). EDT: eastern daylight time (GMT -4).
tings // fluff, a little bit of angst, kinda suggestive at the end ?? // i swear this søng is abøut eating øut my best friend's pussy - cøzybøy // dm, ask or comment to be added to taglist ! minors dni.
☾𓆙𓂻
— JAPAN, SUMMER 2024.
the summer passes like this: you and daichi laughing too loudly in busy restaurants and train cars; having arms around each other in the back of taxis on the way home from clubs; making instant udon at three a.m.; walking up and down the neighborhood a hundred times; laying silently side by side and not needing to say anything. it's a routine, it's familiar—it's home.
a couple weeks before you're set to head back to new york, daichi asks you a question as you lay next to him on a blanket in your driveway, staring up at the stars.
"have you decided what your plans are after college?"
"i'm gonna come back here."
"i thought you wanted to go to grad school? you can do way better in the states, especially with a degree from columbia."
you roll onto your side so you can look at him better. "i know. but i've been away too long already. i miss you."
he gives you a little smile. "but i'm right here."
"right here is pretty fucking far from america."
"hm."
"hm."
that's the end of the conversation.
— 2 AUGUST 2024. 23:09 JST.
everything happens the exact same way it has for the past three years: he takes you to the airport. you try hard not to cry; you say your goodbyes. check-in, security, buy some candy to eat at the gate. board the plane. sixteen hours later, you're in america.
one thing was different, though.
when he said goodbye, his lips touched yours.
you don't stop thinking about it for weeks.
☾𓆙𓂻
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— AUGUST TO NOVEMBER 2024.
slightly relieving is the fact that amid thesis writing and too many classes and working an internship under one of your professors (that one's nice, it even earns you enough to get a small apartment a few blocks from campus), there proves to be little time to be spent missing daichi.
you finesse your schedule to fit weekly facetimes on friday evenings (new york time) and shoot random texts back and forth about your day between classes and during meals, and without much space for anything else, it's enough. good things are worth waiting for, anyway.
— DECEMBER 2024.
but then winter sem break rolls around and there's no school so it's back to having too much lonely alone time with your thoughts. you write daichi a christmas card and drop it off at the post office. it's early this year, but oh, well.
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☾𓆙𓂻
a week before christmas you receive a call from an unknown number. the phone speaker crackles when you accept the call.
“hello?”
“hey.” the voice on the other end is bright, smiley, accented. it’s tōru.
“tōru? what’s up?”
“i’m outside,” he says, “come down and meet me?”
you’re a little confused, but you decide to humor him. “uh, okay, give me a minute… do i need anything?”
“bring a coat, it’s cold out. i’ll be waiting down here.” the call ends.
a few minutes later you push through the doors of the building to be met with a brisk wind and tōru standing by a payphone, grinning.
“do you have your subway pass?”
you feel inside your pocket for it and nod.
“good,” he says. “come on, we’re in a hurry.”
“where are we going?”
“downtown.”
“ohhkay?”
he laughs. “‘s not anything you won’t like, promise.”
you follow him into the nearest subway entrance, lost in thought as you push through the barrier and step onto the train. it's only when he nudges you and says, "this is our stop," that you realize you've been looking at the ground the whole time.
tōru notices how absent you seem to be and asks, "are you okay?"
"i would be if i knew what was going on," you respond.
"yeah," he says, leading you up the stairs and into the terminal, "yeah, i think you will be."
you're in grand central. tōru asks if he can borrow your phone for a second. when he hands it back to you, he doesn't say anything, just takes you by the arm smiling widely and leads you into the fray of commuters that fill the station.
"tōru!" you groan, "can't you just tell me where we're going?"
"magnolia," he replies simply.
"we came all the way here just for coffee?"
"mhm."
"tōru!" he stops walking and turns back to you, trying and failing miserably to stop grinning for a second. "what the fuck?"
"come on," he says, "you'll like it."
"we've been here before! what's so special about—"
"you'll see."
☾𓆙𓂻
coffee in grand central is surprisingly good. it's also surprisingly expensive. ah, well, it's new york. new york has much more to offer than just overpriced cafés.
such as... this. such as a laughing man that leads a remarkably pissed-off looking girl by the arm, towards this stupidly good, stupidly overpriced café.
the pair are weaving through a stream of people, almost there, and then they're there, and the girl is looking much less agitated now. she looks somewhere between crying and wanting to run in the opposite direction. thank god, she chooses the former.
he loves you. so much.
☾𓆙𓂻
"daichi?" you mean it to be a scream but your voice cracks a little and it comes out airy.
he has the exact same look on his face that tōru's had this whole time. "hi."
"oh my god, what the fuck?"
"you said it was lonely, tōru told me maybe it would be nice for you to have a date for new year's, i had some extra money saved up. so i came."
"you— what?" you look back at tōru. "you planned this? just? last minute?"
"nah," daichi laughs, "no, i meant to come visit you for christmas a while ago. i already had tickets and everything, i was gonna tell you but then i got your card and figured it might be more fun if it were a surprise."
"oh my god." that's all you can think to say.
— CHRISTMAS 2024.
you can't even explain how good it feels to wake up and walk into the living room to find daichi asleep on your couch on christmas morning, how good it feels for it to not just be you. the whole time he's been here, though, you've forced yourself not to think about the fact that he's going back home in a week and a half, forced yourself not to do anything just yet. soon, though. just a few more months.
☾𓆙𓂻
when he wakes up, you're making coffee for the two of you.
"merry christmas," he says, wrapping one arm around your shoulders. he places a card on the counter in front of you. "open it."
its message is simple.
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you do as it says.
"i, uh, haven't gotten you anything yet, but—"
"daichi," you laugh, "it's okay. and um, i may have also not been able to get you anything. also because i didn't know you'd be here."
"wait, wait, i'm not finished."
"okay?"
"what do you want to do after you're done this year of school?"
"i already told you," you say, "i'll move back home."
"no, what do you want to do? you want to go to grad school, right? continue studying here?"
"no, i just want to stop waiting." you sigh, a little frustrated. "i don't wanna have to keep putting this off, it's been—"
he cuts you off. "i'll be here."
"huh?"
"i'll be here. or wherever."
"i don't get it?"
you've always loved the way daichi's nose scrunches up when he smiles. "you're the one planning on studying more, not me. not immediately, anyway. i'll go with you."
"daichi."
"what?"
"you're fucking joking."
he laughs; you look so confused right now. "i'm not. promise."
"i don't even—"
"hey."
"hm?"
"think you can handle long-distance for five months?"
"uh—" you inhale sharply. "yeah."
"good," he says, "then we don't have to keep putting this off."
it's been five months since you last let your lips touch his. it still feels just like the first time it happened.
— 31 DECEMBER, 2023. 19:36 EST.
he tries not to let you pay for dinner, but in the end, you slip the waiter your card while daichi's in the bathroom. it's his birthday; it's your treat.
and after dinner, there's that new year's eve party that tōru's been going on about. it feels good, so good, not to be there alone. it feels good to watch the broadcast from downtown and count the seconds to midnight as daichi's arms are wrapped around you from behind. the clock reaches zero; daichi kisses you hard. you're both drunk on champagne.
you watch him smile across the room at tōru, who's got his girl on his arm. the two of them look happy, too. everything is warm.
— DEPARTURE: 3 JANUARY 2025. 08:15 EST.
daichi's asleep next to you when the alarm on his phone goes off. you'll miss not waking up next to him for the next five months, but at least that's all it will be.
he makes faces at you in the mirror as you both brush your teeth; keeps trying to tug your sweater off when you get dressed. you spend these thirty minutes laughing with him until it hurts. the two of you take the subway back to grand central; make out in a corner of the terminal while he waits for his train to jfk international to arrive.
"see you in may."
— 21 JANUARY 2025.
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taglist: @sakruisin-thru @softetsurou @oligbia
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Text
One Photo → Mark Lee [1]
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↳  Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader
↳  AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.
↳  Word count: 4,863
↳  Chapters: Prelude | You Are Here! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MONDAY - 1
Your heart was pounding a million miles a minute as you stepped into your photoshoot studio on campus two weeks later, ready to see a bunch of other students preparing for interviews for the same position. Surprisingly, you were the only one present besides your teacher. She smiled and approached. “Hey,” she greeted you with a short handshake. “I see you’re nervous?” “A little,” you admit, returning her friendly grin. “I’m surprised nobody else is here.” She hummed. “Well, there was a lot to choose from. Come on. This one, I believe, is a little special compared to the others.” “How so?” Your voice was laced with curiosity as she led you further in, past the background sheets that separate the room into two halves. Behind it were people you had only dreamed of seeing in person.
The three of them stood as soon as they lay eyes on you. Johnny, Mark, and Jaehyun. You were completely frozen, staring at them and nearly forgetting to breathe. The thought of the members interviewing you themselves had never even entered your brain.
Your teacher placed a hand on your shoulder, startling you. Without a word, she smiled at you, nodded at them and left the room. Once the door shut with a soft click, Mark approached you. “Hi, I’m Mark Lee,” he held out his hand. “You probably knew that, considering your expression.” He laughed sweetly. You barely held out your hand with a shy nod, “I’m (Y/N).” Instead of going through with the handshake, Mark immediately moves in to engulf you in a friendly hug. “It’s nice to meet you,” you mumbled into the hug, barely processing that you were actually hugging Mark Lee and were in the same five-foot radius as three members of NCT. Johnny and Jaehyun also hugged you tightly, insisting that you join them at the table your teacher had set up for them.
“I thought I would be more prepared,” you admitted softly, digging into your backpack and pulling out your portfolio of projects and random photos you’ve taken. Mark takes it first to open and look through. “I’ve been a fan since your debut.” 
Johnny smiled. “Then you’re just the person we’re looking for,” he said. He glances over at your portfolio, then back to you. “The truth is, we aren’t looking for a professional like a lot of others in this program. We bring our own from our company.” Your knit your eyebrows together in confusion. “Then why sign up? If, um, you don’t mind me asking.” 
Jaehyun looked up from browsing your portfolio with Mark. “We were looking to take one photo.” He held up his index finger. “We wanted to have a friend that’s from around here to help us find the perfect spot, and photographers always know the best places.” Your eyes widened. A friend? Did he really just say that? “Just one photo?” You decided to ask, the whole prospect of clarifying what Jaehyun meant by ‘friend’ was a little too overwhelming.
The three of them nodded. “We want just one photo for our dorm. This stop is important to us, and we want this to stay away from social media. It’s just going to be for us. And for you, for your project, of course,” Mark explained. “We don’t want someone that is too professional and we don’t want a fansite to take it. It seemed to us that a friend would be the best choice.” He smiled gently at you. “We’ll provide you with a ticket and backstage pass, as well as paying you based on the program’s price for the photo to be touched up and framed.” 
You tripped over your words. “Well, I… I don’t think I’m in a position to turn you down, but…” Johnny cocked his head to the side. “But..?” 
You gulped and sheepishly avoided eye contact. “I can’t speak Korean,” you mumble, fiddling with your fingers. Mark smiled sweetly at you. “That’s okay. We’ll translate for you. So, what do you think? Would you like to spend a day with us before our show?” 
You smiled, deciding to be a bit more daring. They did say, friend. “You’re asking that like there’s even a shred of a chance I’d say no.” 
All three of them grin. “Thank you, I was hoping you would say yes,” Mark says. “Your portfolio is stunning.”
Your face goes red and you're barely conscious enough to stand with them as they prepare to leave. Johnny and Jaehyun hug you again, praising your work before taking their leave, but Mark doesn't join them.
“Our manager has your teacher's contact information, but I want to involve the company as little as possible… if it's not too sudden, could I please have your number?” Mark smiles sheepishly, offering his unlocked phone to you, open to a new contact page. It's as if he has no idea of the impact he has on his fans. Sometimes you forget that NCT is made up of normal humans, and the one standing in front of you is a year younger than you are. 
“Of course,” you take it gently and add your contact info, taking a quick selfie to add as your little profile picture, all while Mark watches you searchingly. “Here you are,” you hand his phone back, hesitating on saying what you were thinking, “since you want to be friends, feel free to text me.” 
Mark takes his phone back with a smile, sending you a quick smiley face to make sure the number was correct. The room is silent for a moment, your face feels as if it's on fire and Mark returns the stare you gave him when you walked in.
“Come on, Mark!” you hear Johnny’s voice from outside the classroom and you both turn toward it. You smile sheepishly.
“I shouldn't keep you, should I?” you ask, voice soft and a little embarrassed.
“No, but I wish I had more time. I'll text you, I promise,” he says, hugging you once more before leaving you alone and speechless. 
You wondered if all fan interactions were like the one you just experienced. You were aware the members of NCT were known to be humble and kind, but they were much calmer and affectionate than you expected. The idea that you just saw Mark's smile in person made your own cheesy grin spread across your face as you packed up your portfolio. 
After class, you headed back to your dorm, a skip in your step. Once you opened the door and stepped inside, you felt like you could collapse. Fatigue washed over you like a tidal wave, and you knew it was time for an afternoon nap. Rhiannon was still in her lab, so you could grab at least 20 minutes of shut-eye before she would come back and beg for you to make dinner. You set your bag down by the door with your shoes and set a course for your bed. As soon as you were able to slide underneath the covers and nearly drift to sleep, your phone vibrated.
You reach into your pocket, confused. Rhiannon was the only friend that had your number, and if she even thought about her phone in a lab, she would be kicked out. Once you unlock your phone, you finally remembered who else you gave your number to.
Mark: Hey!
You licked your lips as your chest twinged and filled with butterflies. You screamed internally for a few seconds, the moment hitting you a little harder than before. Mark Lee had your cell phone number and he was texting you first. 
You: Hello, what’s up?
Mark replied almost immediately, which startled you a little bit. You turned over in your bed to get a little more comfortable.
Mark: We were just finishing up settling into our hotel rooms. I wanted to know how you're doing, are you in class? I hope I'm not interrupting anything
You: No, I got home a little while ago. I was gonna take a nap tbh
Mark: Oh! Sorry, I don't mean to take away sleep from a college student
You smiled a little bit. He was too sweet. As if your nap wasn't going to ruin your sleep schedule.
You: Its fine, if I had a nap I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight anyway
Mark: So you're free then?
Your eyebrows furrowed as you typed your response.
You: Uh yeah, why? Did you all want that picture now?
You put your phone down, a little overwhelmed. If they wanted it now, you wouldn't see them again until the concert, which wasn't until Friday. Perhaps you should have expected they wanted to do this as fast as possible, their Canadian and Chicago stops were planned with vacations in mind considering Johnny and Mark's heritage. When your phone buzzed again, you almost jumped to grab it.
Mark: Well no not yet. I was just wondering if you wanted to get coffee or something. Or tea if you prefer that 
Your eyes widened.
You: Really?
Mark: Yeah. I dunno, I want to take the friend thing more serious than the guys. They just wanted to use that word so it was like an unspoken contract that you wouldn't post this everywhere y'know? 
Your heart sank a little bit, but you could see how important privacy was. If you were in the same position, you would have done the same.
You: I understand… I'm still kind of a stranger though, are you sure?
Mark: That's why I'm asking. I don't want you to be. So, will you meet me?
You: There's a Tim Hortons on the first floor of M building near where you met me on campus, I can be there in 40 minutes 
Mark: See you in 40 minutes then :)
As soon as you read that text, you tossed your comforter to the side and raced into the bathroom. You fix your hair and could barely decide whether to change your outfit or not. He did see you earlier today, would he think you were trying too hard if you changed? 
“Keep it together, (Y/N),” you told yourself, patting your cheeks with your hands as you eyed your complexion in the mirror. “He just wants tea and coffee, nothing major.” 
Just then, the front door opened. “Are you talking to yourself again?” Rhiannon called from the foyer.
“No,” you called back, clearly lying as you took one more scan of yourself in the mirror before leaving to greet your friend. “You’re back early. How was the lab?”
“Tiring,” she answered. “My bitch lab partner came in even earlier than usual to make sure I didn't have the chance to set up our station again.” She rolled her eyes and dropped her backpack next to yours. 
“Yikes,” you reply, watching her wander into the kitchen. “Are you gonna tell your professor that she is trying to sabotage your grade?” 
Rhiannon sighed. “I don't know if the following shitstorm would be worth it,” she says, plugging in the electric kettle. “I'm gonna make some tea, you want any?”
You shook your head, even though she probably couldn't see you from the wall separating the kitchen and foyer. “No thanks, I'm going out to Tim's in M building.” 
Rhiannon took less than a second to appear in the archway to stare at you. “Why?” She questioned, squinting at you. 
“Mark asked me to meet him for coffee.” 
“Mark,” she repeated, crossing her arms. “I thought you hated Mark Davids.” 
“Not that asshole,” you shot back. “Mark Lee.” You began to look for a pair of cuter shoes as Rhiannon’s eyes widened.
“You got the job?!” She exclaimed, her voice nearly reaching a squeal. "YOU MET MARK LEE? WITHOUT ME?!"
“Yeah,” you smile sheepishly, taken aback by her shouting. you picked out your favourite pair of shoes, red converse high tops. “He just seems like he wants to hang out right now though.”
“Oh my God,” her voice nearly lowered to a whisper. “Mark Lee just asked you out.”
You rolled your eyes. “He didn't ask me out, he just wants to talk,” you explain, pulling on your shoes to tie them. 
“I dunno, he could be it,” she says, waltzing back into the kitchen. “You never know!”
You sigh. “See you later!” 
“Tell him to get Haechan's number!”
After a 15-minute subway ride and a lot of hurried walking, you hauled open the pristine doors of M building, the newest addition to your college campus. Right before you was a little Tim Hortons with a tiny student’s lounge to accompany it. There was a little bit of a line to the micro cafe since night classes were starting up around now, but the student’s lounge was close to empty. 
You took in a deep breath, fully stepping inside and beginning your search for Mark. It doesn’t take long to spot him, he’s sporting yellow hair and a white face mask, accompanied by two red Tim Hortons cups at a table in the corner of the lounge. It takes you a moment to fathom your position - about to meet someone you’ve been crushing on for months through a computer screen for coffee in a lounge at your college. On top of that- he’s already bought you something.
“Hi,” you meekly greet him, approaching the table. Mark looks up from his phone and his eyes immediately crease into the crescents of his beautiful smile.
“Hey, (Y/N)!” He pulls his mask off, “sit down, I, uh, got you some tea. You kind of struck me as that kind of person, so I hope I got it right.” 
“Thank you, Mark. You really didn’t have to buy me anything…” You smile nervously, your face feeling hot and your heart beating a mile a minute. Mark seemed a little nervous, just like you. It was a sobering moment, taking the cup he pushed toward you and opening it to take a sip. Your eyes widened. Your tea was exactly the way you always order it, nearly to the grain of sugar.
Mark watches your expression, happy that you seemed to like your tea, “I wanted to treat you. I know how weird this must all seem for you, but for some reason, I feel like I know you.” He runs his hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact for a moment. 
You look away from him as well. There's a moment of silence between you, the bustle of students slowly diminishing as the sun sets behind you. 
“I, uh, can't really relate to you in that way,” you whisper after you worked up the courage to break the silence. “A lot of your life is on display.” 
“You're right,” Mark agreed. “There are a few things I keep to myself, though,” he smiled cheerfully. “But what I mean is hard to explain.”
Curious, you nod toward him, “try me.”
“When I was standing in line, I was trying to figure out what to get you. I wanted to treat you since I asked you to come, and I kind of expected for you to say no since your professor said you had class today and-”
“Mark, it’s fine, stay focused.” you smile faintly at him and wait for him to continue, sipping your tea again.
He blushes and nods sheepishly. “When it was my turn, I got what I wanted and the second I thought about you, I recited medium steeped orange pekoe tea with two cream and one and a half sugar like I had been getting it for you for years.” He stops for a moment, presumably watching your stunned reaction.
Your breathing was feeling a little crooked, and you couldn't quite place what you were feeling. You tried to take in a deep breath, shaking your head when Mark began to look concerned. 
“Sorry,” you apologize quickly. “I, uh, kind of know what you're talking about. This is all just a little; I don't know…”
“Overwhelming?” Mark finished, nodding his head. “I can't stop thinking about it.” 
You tried to smile. “I guess you gave the bug to me,” you joke. “Want to get some air?”
“I'd like that.” 
The two of you walked down a path that led off-campus, talking. It was as if the two of you had forgotten your positions in life; Mark a celebrity with his life on a pedestal and you just a fan that forgot how much you really knew about him.
You were rediscovering his cheerful nature, his loud and hearty laughter that was a whole-body endeavour, learning that he plays the guitar, his love of ice cream and sweet things. His favourite colour was blue, and he loved Christmas so much he already had a growing list of things to buy for his friends as gifts.
The sun was nearly hidden behind the hills of the park you wandered into, admiring the newly blossomed cherry trees. You were showing him a small bed of flowers decorated to look like a Canadian flag when Mark asked the dreaded personal question you had been hoping you would never have to answer again.
“How did your parents find out?” His tone was soft, curious. He didn't sound as invasive as others have been in the past, but the question still made you bite your lip to keep from frowning.
“A gang fight,” you answer, bitterly. “My dad punched my mom in the face so hard that day, she needed to go to the ER. It actually took three months for her to figure out why the print of my dad's fist hadn't faded from her cheek.”
Mark didn't speak for a moment. “Was that too much to ask?”
You looked up at him from the flower bed, smiling faintly. He looked good in the final evening glow. “I don't mind that much, but...”
“I'm sorry,” he said, tentatively placing a hand on the small of your back. 
“It's okay,” you start, his sympathy nearly made you melt. The two of you begin walking again, Mark absently running his fingers over cherry petals as you both passed the trees. “I got out of it all pretty quickly. They fought when they were high, and that was almost all the time. Sometimes, I feel scared just thinking about how my life might end up. If any of it is all as real as everyone says it is.”
Mark stares at you, and there is sympathy radiating off of him. He looks like he wants to say something, but he stays quiet.
You hold back a frown and decide to break the silence. “Anyway, how about your parents?” 
“A hug,” he answered, nodding, a smile returning to his face. “it's not the most common first touch in the world, but I hope I find mine the same way.” 
“That does sound nice,” you agree softly.
“I've heard it's all up to fate and magic,” Mark says, charm in his voice. “I've always wanted to believe in that.”
“I'd like to believe in that. Makes life seem a little more bearable. I’ve just always been so cynical through my childhood, so much so that all of my hope for a fairytale ending faded a long time ago. I never really thought that anything good would come out of it. If the universe really wants me to find someone, I guess I can’t really do anything about it.”
Mark smiles, although you can tell he is hiding a smidge of disappointment. “I suppose that's one way to think about it,” he replies. “I just want to know someone so well that I don't have to think twice about it. Like knowing the exact way to cheer them up when they're sad. Like the perfect cup of tea or their favourite stuffed animal. I guess that takes a little bit of magic.” 
You stop in your tracks, thinking about the perfect tea he had given you earlier.
“What's wrong?” Mark stops and turns around when he notices you're not keeping pace.
“Nothing,” you lie with a smile, watching Mark's scepticism through the darkness of night. 
“Okay,” he says softly, looking up at the sky. “I guess it's late, huh?” 
You join him in looking up. If the city wasn't always so lit up, this spot would be perfect for a shot of the starry night sky between the small canopy of cherry trees. “I guess it is.”
“How far away is your dorm? I can walk you,” he suggests, taking your hand. You're frozen, too stunned by the gesture to pull away.
“You don't have to,”
“But I want to,” Mark grins. “It's the one way I can make sure you get back safely.”
“You're too kind…” you pause for a moment. Mark is staring you down, waiting for you to say yes. “I'm not allowed to say no, am I?”
He shook his head, smiling. “Nope. Come on, let's go.” 
Scoffing lightly, you concede and begin walking again. “You can take me to my subway stop and I can tell you which train to take to go back,” you offer, assuming he would need to be back at his hotel before it got too late at night. 
“No,” he said quickly. Your eyes widened at his tone and once he noticed your reaction, he lowered his voice. “I just… have these gut feelings. I'd like to escort you right to your dorm,” he clears his throat, “um, if I'm not crossing any lines.” 
You feel sympathy for him. Just looking at Mark, you can tell he's worried about you, but you can't quite see the reason. “Okay,” you agree softly. 
It's silent for a while as you both walk through the well-lit city. It's not until you pass a food truck on the way to the subway station that either of you says something again.
“You know, you and I walked around that park for hours and we didn't even know how late it was until the last minute,” Mark comments, still holding your hand and pulling back gently to keep you from walking past him. 
“Yeah, you're right,” you blush, you had to admit to yourself that you hadn't lost yourself in conversation or such comfortable silence like that even on a date. "We forgot to eat. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah,” Mark admits with a laugh, “and these hot dogs smell good.” 
You look up at him. “I'll buy.” You wriggle your hand out of his grasp and run toward the cart before Mark can catch you, readying your wallet. 
“Two hot dogs please, one with relish and one plain, please. Also, burn the plain one a little bit, thanks.” 
“You're slippery,” Mark says, watching you pay for the food.
“You bought me tea, it's only fair,” you stick your tongue out at him. He sighs and nods at you, only breaking his gaze when the man at the cart hands down the hot dogs a few moments later. “The one with relish is yours. You hate ketchup, right?” 
Mark takes his hot dog, eyes wide. “Uh, yeah,” he pauses. “I just haven't really told anyone outside the guys and my family.” 
You're halfway through a bite of your ‘dog and you nearly choke on it. 
“Hey, hey!” Mark reaches out for your shoulder, hoping that you wouldn't pass out. “Chew and swallow! Sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out.” 
You swallow and cough, shaking your head. “Don't worry, I'm fine,” you say. “This is just a weird feeling.” 
He nods. “Yeah. But I don't really mind it. Come on, let's walk some more.” 
It was totally surreal to you, walking and eating with Mark. He was right, there was this strange feeling washing over you every time you looked at him, different than watching him on a Vlive broadcast or music video. Like you knew something about him that nobody else did, and it made you feel both good and scared out of your mind. It felt invasive.
One subway stop and a little bit of a walk later, you both arrive at your dorm building. “Here we are,” you announce. “My roommate is probably going to kill me for coming back so late.”
“Should I go in with you? To protect you?” Mark is smiling, but you can tell there is a hint of seriousness. 
“If you want. She will probably ask for something from you, though.” You open the main doors and enter in your code, leading Mark in with you.
“Like what?” Mark furrows his eyebrows. “She's not weird, right?”
You nearly laugh out loud. “She's weird all right, just not the kind you're thinking of. She wanted me to get Haechan's number from you, but I got so absorbed in talking with you that I forgot to ask.” 
“Oh,” Mark is following you close behind, letting out a tiny sigh of relief. “That doesn't sound too bad, but his reaction should be interesting.” 
You shrugged. “You don't have to do it. Anyway-” You're cut off as the door to your apartment opens, Rhiannon stepping out and pressing her hands to her hips. 
“Look who's finally back,” she states, and you can immediately tell she is angry. “It's almost 1 AM!” 
“Shh! I'm sorry, okay? I lost track of time! I was with-” 
“Mark,” she says, her voice less harsh when she notices Mark is standing behind you, sheepishly smiling and waving at her. “At least you had the initiative to walk her home.” 
You squint at your best friend. It's clear she is trying not to freak out in front of him. “Are you gonna let me inside?” 
“Not yet,” she states. “Mark, I love you,” she says quickly, grabbing your arm and pulling you to her. You're smiling awkwardly at him, shrugging and mouthing ‘sorry’. 
Mark smiles awkwardly and nods at you. “Uh, thanks,”
“Thank you for bringing (Y/N) back. Has she asked you about Haechan?” 
“Yeah. I'll text you guys his number when I get back- which I probably should…”
You step forward. “Do you know how to get back?”
Mark shakes his head. “I think it's on Yorkville, I might have to use my GPS.” 
You shake your head. “It's easy to get there. Head to the station you and I were just on, take the southbound for 5 stops. Once you get above ground, you should be on that street.” 
Mark smiled at you. “Thank you.” He approached you to give you a hug, which felt warmer than the other two from earlier in the day. When he turned to leave, a pang hit your chest.
“Mark,” you called. Instantly he turned around, his expression curious. “Let me know when you get back safely.” 
He nodded, smiling warmly. “I will, I promise.” 
You watch him leave, a little shocked that spending the entire night with him didn't feel like it at all. You're only broken out of your thoughts when Rhiannon drags you inside your apartment and shuts the door.
“You scared me half to death, you bitch! At least text me when you're gonna stay out this late! I thought you were just having tea! I was this close to calling the cops!” She presses her index finger to her thumb and shoves her hand towards your face as you stand before her, a little humiliated.
“Your fingers are touching,” you say quietly, screwing your eyes shut.
“Exactly!” she exclaims. “I was one button away from speaking to 911! You're goddamn lucky I heard you and Mark coming down the hall!” You open your eyes when she gently touches your arm. “Don't scare me like that.”
“I'm sorry. I promise I'll keep in touch next time.” You smile awkwardly at her. “I was just so caught up in talking and trying to make sure it wasn't a dream.” 
Rhiannon nodded and returned your smile. “I know. You should go to bed, you have class in the morning.” 
“Yeah. Thanks for worrying about me.” 
Once you were in fresh pyjamas, you had some music on in the bathroom while you dry your hair with a towel. A quick shower before bed always was relaxing enough for you to fall asleep quickly. Snuggling up in bed after that long day was especially nice, gathering up your teddy bear to hug close. You're just about to drift off when your phone buzzes. 
Mark: Hey, I'm back safe. Thank you for the directions 
You: You're welcome
I had a really nice time tonight 
Mark: Me too
You have class tomorrow right 
You: Yeah, it's a short day though, just a small photoshop lab 
Mark: Do you want to hang out again when you're done? By the way, the number I promised - __________
You: I'd like that. Thanks, I'll forward it to her 
Haechan was cool with it right 
Mark: Me too :) yeah he was cool with it, he owed me a favour anyway 
Sleep well ok?
You: I will, you too? 
Mark: Yeah I promise 
Goodnight (Y/N)
You: Goodnight :)
After putting your phone down on your nightstand, you peacefully drifted off with a smile on your face.
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punk-pandame · 3 years
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forgot to post my fave wet idiot here
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image descriptions below text
Obviously a high school AU wouldn't be complete without Suigetsu being on the swim team. I've already admitted I have no idea how swim teams work since none of the schools where I grew up had them (and I haven't watched Free!!! yet aksdhgkjasdl) but I had to include it! This shot comes from him winning a regional swimming competition. It'll be printed in the papers, and he's hoping a college recruiter will snatch him up!
If you're interested in knowing more about this moment, there's a ficlet for Official Fans and up to view on Patreon and BuyMeACoffee!
Only one more Team Taka member left! You can expect a Juugo sometime in the beginning of April, as I'm currently finalizing two (2!) works for @naruto-smut-monday 's March prompt "Rarepair". Those will be up on Mon. 3/28! Sneak peeks currently available for members!
[ID: a digitally drawn image of Suigetsu from Naruto, from the waist up. He is facing the left side, arms out holding up a gold trophy. He is wearing a dark blue swim cap with a fin and a sneering shark design. Some of his white hair peeks out from beneath it. His mouth is open in a triumphant yell, and he is dripping wet all over. The background a gradient, light blue in the lower right to a greenish-yellow hue in the upper left. End ID]
[ID: the same image, but with a texture overlay that makes it look like photo paper. End ID]
[ID: the same photo-effect image, but with writing all over it in marker. Navy blue marker in the upper right corner reads: "#1 Wet Idiot" with the #1 circled. In a peach-toned color is a smiley face by Suigetsu's face, and a simple, almost child-like drawing of a fish behind him. Blue marker reads: "I [heart] U JUJU", which arrows pointing to the two little drawings. In red, toward the lower left corner is: "Finally good for something" with an arrow pointing to the trophy in Suigetsu's hand. His blue marker returns in the upper left, reading: "YOU GUYS SUCK LMAOOO XD", clearly referring to Karin's writing in red and Sasuke's writing in navy blue. End ID]
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etherealcheol-mp3 · 4 years
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Gotcha || knj
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pairing: kim namjoon x reader
genre: fluff, slight angst, coffee shop/ bakery!au, e2l, neighbors!au, non-idol!au
warnings: none really, slow burn, enemies to lovers, mentions of death/ fire, mentions of panic attacks, hints towards sexual themes, pranks played against one another constantly, b a n t e r
words: 20.3K (it’s a monster, i’m so sorry)
summary: rival shops aren’t the worst things in life, but maybe their owners are. after a less than ideal first meeting, y/n swears kim namjoon off as their mortal enemy. this is tolerable, bearable even. nobody said they had to step foot in each other's shops, but what happens when the vacant apartment in their building gets filled with a noisy neighbor with constant….guests. and what happens when said neighbor is revealed to be none other than kim namjoon? prank wars and lots of meddling from best friends.
A/N: this story was originally posted on my instagram @/constellationkookie and my wattpad @/hoodftarreaga. this was also originally written for Calum Hood but I’m bts trash now and have no regrets:) -toro
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 I’ve never had a constant variable in my life. Moving around as a kid and changing schools happens to have that effect on a person. You learn not to expect too much from a friendship that you try to make work over texts and slowly dwindling phone calls and you begin to search for things in life that can become constants in some way or another. My form of constant was as simple as flour, sugar, eggs, and butter. The basic, core ingredients to any baked good. No matter where I moved or who I did or didn’t talk to, I had baking. All I needed was flour, sugar, eggs, and butter and I was whisked away to the safety of my kitchen where I didn’t have to deal with the chaos surrounding me in the outside world.
I didn’t need a boyfriend, best friend, or school club like everyone else. I didn’t need anything that would ground me into my surroundings since it would only make leaving that much harder. However, sometimes certain people try their hardest to latch onto you and gain your trust. They make you feel comfortable and allow you to open up and be vulnerable around them. I was twenty years old and living in Seoul with this certain person who just so happened to be my first and only best friend, Mal. She stood by my side through thick and thin and supported me to follow my dreams and do what I never thought was possible: open up my own bakery. It was hard at first and very stressful, but the end result was well worth the sleepless nights and crying fits.
Sunrise Bakery was my pride and joy and very successful. The name was Mal’s idea as she saw ‘the sun was rising on the start of my new life’. Seven months in, everything was going great, but then slowly my regulars began to not be so regular. ‘Friends’ turned into strangers and it seemed like everyone in the city forgot. I tried just about everything in the books from sales to new recipes but nothing kept them back for long. It wasn’t until I heard about a new coffee shop in town that I started to get worried. The Hideout Cafe was new in town and conveniently just down the street from my bakery. 
“Are you still plotting,'' Mal called from behind me. I turned my attention to her and furrowed my brow. “I’m not plotting anything,” I stated defensively and started rolling out the previously abandoned dough on the counter.
Mal snorts and rolls her eyes playfully before taking a sip out of her coffee cup, I hadn’t noticed it before. “Sure because staring out your window to try and see what's going on in there isn’t creepy at all.” I ignore her comment and look at the sleeve on her coffee cup before realizing which logo was on it.
“You went there? And actually ordered something?” I say incredulously. Her eyes widen slightly before sighing and slumping her shoulders. 
“I’m sorry but their latte is amazing! I seriously don’t know how they do it like it’s insane. I know you have some personal vendetta against them but just check it out one time and you’ll see how stupid it is. Customers aren’t going to stop coming permanently to a bakery because of a coffee shop.” I tried to ignore her and go to the back of the shop but she gently grabbed my wrist and stopped me in my tracks. 
“Come on, Y/N, you’ve been working since you opened and it’s time for a break. Please? For me?” I huffed before finally looking over at her and giving in. She silently cheered as I untied my apron and turned the open sign before locking up. We headed down the street and stopped in front of the shiny, new Hideout Cafe. Walking inside felt wrong but also relieving as the shop took over my senses. The warm air inside tickled my face, cold from the winter breeze outside. The clatter of cutlery accompanying the scent of coffee beans and light chatter of patrons soothed my senses in an instant. 
I followed Mal to the register and looked up at the seemingly endless menu posted on the wall. It was written in varying colors of chalk along with the seamless flow of script font that spelled out “Today’s Specials”. Mal pushed me forward and my eyes met the face of a boy around my age. He looked slightly amused and had a brow ever so lightly quirked up as he looked at my most likely flustered state. I opened my mouth but no sounds came out.
“First time?” The barista let out in his low voice. I shakily nodded my head before averting my gaze elsewhere. “Can I have a name for the order?” The barista started tapping on the screen in front of him. “Uh, Y/N. Just checking out the competition” I suddenly spoke, effectively shocking myself and him. He furrowed his brow before smiling almost smugly. I thought I saw a hint of a dimple but my attention was drawn elsewhere as he spoke again. 
“Oh, you must work at that dumb little bakery down the road. What is it? Moonlight or something?” I scoffed at his words and felt anger rush through my veins. “I happen to own that very successful bakery. And it’s Sunrise.” I spoke confidently.
“It’s irrelevant. It’ll probably be shut down in three months max at the rate of our shop. But hey it’s nice of you to add to the steady demise of your own bakery by buying something from us. What would you like? Pumpkin spice latte?” He spoke with such ease it infuriated me to no end. 
I turned away from the register to find Mal and leave as soon as possible. I knew coming here was a horrible idea and the sooner I left the better. I found Mal standing by the area to pick up drinks ‘talking’ to another male barista. I walked up next to her and waited for her to look at me but it seemed the only things on her mind were the warm eyes and cocky smirk adorned by plush lips on the other side of the counter. I cleared my throat and stepped closer to her and gained her attention only to lose it two seconds later as she turned back to the boy and introduced me to him.
“This is Y/N, it’s her first time here.” She spoke sweetly and I tried not to gag but the instinct was harder to resist as the barista from before walked up with a drink in hand with a smirk on his face. “Pumpkin spice latte for Y/N. Don’t worry, it’s on the house.” He winked at me before walking away and I scowled at his retreating figure. The barista with warm eyes laughed lightly before speaking, “Well it seems you made friends with our owner, Namjoon.”
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Namjoon. Namjoon...blank. I don’t know much about him but I know the important things. He’s the owner of the Hideout Cafe. The self-righteous asshole who took it upon himself to spite me by not only making a basic drink that I will never admit to drinking half of, but also by misspelling my name. As soon as I noticed the lazy scrawl on the side of the cup with a lopsided smiley face next to it, I texted the photographic evidence to Mal and promptly trashed the drink.
I felt a heavy weight on my chest for the rest of the day and couldn’t seem to keep the scowl off my face as I suspiciously looked down the street. I tried to ignore the cocky smirk and the harsh words from earlier by rolling out dough and frosting cupcakes but something about the situation just didn’t sit right with me. Before I could overanalyze or create more conspiracy theories to add to my growing list (42 currently reside on this list and they all seem somewhat plausible) closing time for the bakery came and I started to clean up before walking home. 
My eyes felt droopy as I leaned against the elevator wall. The steady motion was quickly luring me to sleep but I forced my head to face forward as the doors opened and my bed became that much closer. I fumbled with my keys a bit before dropping them on the floor in front of my apartment. I grumbled out a curse before successfully entering and falling into bed after changing my flour ridden clothes. I fell asleep almost instantly and waited to be awoken by the sun through my blinds.
Except that’s not what happened. I awoke at 3:04 am to a loud blaring and lights flashing in my room. I groggily sat up before realizing what was happening. The fire alarm. My eyes widened and I jumped from my bed, grabbing my phone and the first pair of shoes I saw before bolting to my front door. I turned to my left to run to the stairway when I collided with a firm blur and stumbled backward. My vision was still slightly spinning before I heard the voice start to apologize. 
“Ah, shit. Sorry I didn’t see where I was going. I just moved in here and don’t know where to go.” That voice. The voice I had on repeat all afternoon after I left his shop. The voice of Namjoon. Namjoon Last-name.
I opened my eyes and saw him sleepily staring back at me before his ever-present smirk took over his face again. I groaned and threw my head back, begging the universe to tell me this was a joke but the semi hoarse laughter in front of me proved otherwise. 
“Nice slippers, Moonlight” I looked down and saw my fuzzy mermaid slippers on my feet. I let out a huff as I looked at him again before seeing it. His body was completely bare except for the black boxers and single sock on his right foot. My throat dried up and my eyes widened at the sight. I shook my head as the current situation sunk back in. Fire alarm, fire, danger, get to the stairs, get to safety. I ran past him to the stairway and didn’t look back. I couldn’t get stuck up there, I can’t. Visions of thick, black smoke and watery eyes flashed in my mind and my breathing picked up speed. Don’t think, just run.
I found my way to the ground floor and was greeted by a hoard of grumpy, tired people in pajamas crowding the entrance. I tried to squeeze my way through to the exit but as soon as I reached it a hand grabbed my wrist and I yelped before trying to pull my hand free. The hand let go almost instantly and I fearfully looked up only to see Namjoon again looking at me confused. I turned my head away from him and held my wrist close to my chest. 
“Woah, no need to freak out. It was a false alarm but I saw you running for the exit and wanted to stop you.” I dropped my arms and looked at him before seeing the hint of concern lacing his features. I chose to ignore it and said what I had first thought when I saw him in my hallway. 
“Why are you here and why are you naked?” The monotone delivery caught him off guard as his eyebrows raised and he chuckled at me. Those damn dimples proudly being displayed. “You must not have heard me earlier. I just moved in and it’s three in the morning so I was sleeping. This is how I sleep, well except for the boxers anyways.” He smirked again and I tried my hardest to not slap it off his face. I chose to roll my eyes instead and questioned him further.
“What apartment are you?” He had a devious glint in his eyes and I knew what he was thinking. “I’m not asking for that. You were in my hall so I want to know which door to avoid.” He squinted his eyes at me but the boyish grin on his face stayed. He looked me up and down and I crossed my arms over my chest, blushing at the intensity of his gaze. “5B.” He finally stated and I groaned in defeat at his answer. Of course, he lived there. 5B had been vacant for as long as I had lived in this building and I always hoped it would stay that way. “Well what about you,” he started,”which apartment is yours?” I brushed past him and walked to the elevator. The lobby had significantly cleared out since I got there and I decided I would rather sleep than talk to Namjoon Insert-Name-Here. 
The doors opened and I pressed the button for the fifth floor as Namjoon walked on and stared at me. I ignored him and his piercing gaze the entire ride up but he seemed to think this through as he motioned for me to exit first when we reached our floor. “Ladies first,” he said smugly and I grumbled to myself as I walked to my apartment. The number and letter on my door seemed to be mocking me as I stopped in front of them. I heard Namjoon trying to hold back his laughter to my right as he spoke. “Oh, Moonlight, this is gonna be fun.” He opened his door and walked in, leaving me to sulk in the hallway by myself. I banged my head against the door of 5C and felt the urge to scream. Namjoon...whatever his last name was, is going to be the death of me.
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I didn’t sleep much after the fire alarms blaring that night. My thoughts were racing much too fast to grant me any type of peace. In fact, I hardly slept at all the few days after that night due to Namjoon constantly having friends over and yelling or blaring music at alarming volumes all night long. I walked groggily down the street to my bakery and fumbled for the keys in my bag. I let out a stream of curses under my breath as they fell to the ground, a seemingly new trait I had developed due to no sleep, and sighed as I leaned to pick them up. I could already tell this day would not be fun.
Customers filed through the shop door and the smell of sugar filled my senses until Mal walked in for her shift clutching two coffee cups. I narrowed my eyes at her cheery smile and the two cups in her hands. “You seriously stopped by that shop again? And you bought me a drink?” I questioned incredulously. Mal playfully rolled her eyes as she walked behind the counter without a care in the world.
“I just so happened to walk in to talk to Jimin and get my regular when a certain someone handed me another on the house.” Mal wiggled her eyebrows as she slid one of the cups towards me. I furrowed my brow, “Jimin? I’ve never heard you talk about them before. And if you’re trying to be subtle and make me guess how you managed to flirt with one guy while charming another so much that he bought you a free drink, it’s not working.” Mal chuckled lightly before shaking her head and explaining.
“You do know Jimin, you two met that day we went to check out the Hideout. He asked me out when I stopped by today and after I agreed your neighbor stopped by to ask me to give you this. Have anything to share, Y/N?” She tapped the lid of the cup and based on the tone she used and the faux innocence in her wide eyes, I knew she was trying to not scream at me for not instantly telling her Namjoon was my neighbor. Or she was trying not to laugh. Laughing seemed to be all the universe was doing to me recently.
I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply “Unfortunately yes. I found out last week that we live next door to each other.” I could only grumble the words that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Namjoon always seemed to have that effect on me. The fact that he even had an effect on me made it worse. I opened my eyes to see Mal smirking at me while she continuously shifted her gaze to the cup that seemingly shifted closer to my hand resting on the counter.
I picked up the cup slowly, scared it would explode or an animal would come out and attack me at any sudden movement. I saw the messy handwriting on the side that was slowly becoming familiar and felt my blood boil at what it read. My name wasn’t too complicated but once again he had seemed to misspell it so bad that it almost had to be done on purpose. Mal was struggling to hold back her giggles and I glared at her. “You can’t seriously be that mad at him, it’s funny!” She spoke defensively. I threw my head back in defeat and groaned before starting to walk towards the kitchen. 
“But I can be because he’s a self righteous jerk who only cares about himself and doesn’t even try to be a decent human being and spell a name right. I swear, every single thing he does makes me want to scream.” I finally vented as Mal followed me. “I bet he wants to make you scream,” Mal states smugly, making me glare at her over my shoulder before she changed the subject, “So what are you gonna do about it?” She questioned me and I turned to face her with confusion etched across my face. “You keep complaining about the guy and you just let him keep getting to you. You need to annoy him back or at least let him know you’re not going down without a fight. And I’m only saying this since apparently hate sex is off the table.”
I thought for a minute and it didn’t seem like a bad idea. Better than the latter one at least. “I don’t even know what I would do. I can hardly face him without wanting to run away and yell into my pillow.” I was whining and I knew it but in my defense it was true. If I had to look at Namjoon whatever his last name was smirking at me with those dimples one more time I was going to lose it. Mal’s eyes slightly widened and her grin started to grow as I felt fear rise in me. She had an idea and it would most likely end up with injury or prison.
“You live next door to the guy. And his shop is down the road. There’s nothing wrong with a little prank to tell him to back off.” I crossed my arms and opened my mouth to protest only to close it as her words really hit me. It really wasn’t the worst idea ever. I would have to think everything through and leave no room for mistake but he had to know it was me. I had to give him the sign to back off but I couldn’t anger him too much. Luckily though Mal was already listing ideas before I could think of any on my own.
I cut her off after hearing the words ‘peanut butter’, ‘toilet paper’ and ‘hedge clipper’ by putting my hand out and laughing. “Let’s start off tame first. I can barely think straight after getting no slee-'' I suddenly stopped speaking and smiled largely. I knew what I wanted to do but I had to make sure it was perfect. 
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I checked the clock on the microwave one more time as I started to get nervous. It was 4:03AM and Namjoon’s front door had closed roughly thirty minutes ago. I hadn’t heard any noise from his apartment aside from the shower and shuffling around. Suddenly I had found benefits to paper thin walls. Everything was perfect and now it was time to set my plan into motion. I loudly swung open my cabinets and turned on my bluetooth speaker as music started to fill the spaces around me. I dropped some metal pans on the floor and slammed a cookie sheet onto my counter for good measure before grabbing my ingredients. I would’ve worried about other neighbors complaining but I thankfully had an apartment on the corner of the hall. Only Namjoon would be able to hear the noise I made.
 I worked loudly and sang along to the music coming from my speakers. Soon enough the electric mixer was loudly whirring and the oven was beeping to alert me of the temperature being reached. I had just aggressively closed the oven door when I heard a harsh banging at my door. I smiled and ignored it. I had riskily left the front door unlocked and just as I had assumed, Namjoon Last Name raced into my apartment after knocking and being ignored once again. 
He walked to my kitchen and found my speaker, quickly turning it off. I didn’t even glance up at him once as he breathed heavily through his nose and stared at me. “Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?” He spoke angrily and I tried not to laugh. “Yep” I replied coolly. “What are you do- are you baking a cake? It’s 4am. Why are you baking a cake? And what’s with the party decorations?” He spoke confusedly as he looked around at the streamers and balloons decorating my apartment. “I’m celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and sanity. Want a cookie?” 
I finally looked at him and kept a straight face as his jaw hung open and his eyes narrowed. “A cookie? No I don’t want a fucking cookie. What the fuck is wrong with you?” He threw his hands up and looked at me like I was crazy. I think I probably was after almost a week of no sleep, but I kept up the act. “You sound tense. The cupcakes should be done soon, maybe they’ll help you loosen up.” Namjoon huffed and talked to me like I was a child. “I’m pissed. You can’t just fucking make all the noise in the world at 4AM and expect everyone to sleep through it and be okay with it-”
I pointed my rubber spatula at him and glared, effectively cutting him off. “Why not? It’s all you seem to do every night when you have friends over and scream at a television for four hours straight.” I stuck a finger into the frosting I was in the process of creating and put it in my mouth to suck the frosting off. “Needs more vanilla” I mumbled to myself. I still had some left on my finger and stuck out my tongue to effectively lick the rest of it off and went back to mixing. Namjoon was silent. After a minute of ignoring him I looked up, almost expecting him to be gone but there he was. His jaw was tense and his eyes slightly wide while his eyebrows almost raised to the top of his head. 
He looked away as I met his eye and grunted out a “Just keep it down okay?” Before bolting out the door and leaving me confused in my kitchen. I put some plastic wrap over my frosting and put the cupcakes onto a cooling rack before retiring to my bed for a few hours of sleep. Namjoon was on my mind though. He seemed to leave pretty quickly and I wondered if I had gone too far. Did I get him too angry? Did I cross a line with what I said? I pushed away those thoughts since I was only doing and saying what he had to me. It couldn’t be that bad. 
Could it?
I slept surprisingly well after Namjoon left. My alarm greeted me only a few, short hours later, however, I felt like I had slept for years. I took a quick shower and started to get ready for the day when I heard movement through the thin walls of my bedroom. Namjoon was awake. Namjoon. My eyes widened at the thought of him and his probable reaction to my little prank last night. My heart beat started to accelerate ever so slightly as I hurriedly finished getting ready.
I slowly opened my bedroom door and peeked my head out slowly. I turned to thoroughly inspect every hidden corner for anything Namjoon could have planted while I was sleeping but found nothing. Nevertheless I was still paranoid. I walked to my kitchen quickly and grabbed a granola bar before slipping on my shoes and heading to the door. I was ready to get to my shop and away from the close proximity of him.
I felt my phone vibrate rapidly in my pocket and groaned as I barely had enough energy and concentration to focus on getting my shoes on the right feet. I saw Mal’s name on the screen and answered quickly. I couldn’t even get a word in as she instantly greeted me with a warm “Where the hell are you?!” and I winced as I pulled the phone away from my poor ear.
“I’m leaving the apartment? Same time as usual.” I stated tiredly. Mal wasted no time as she once again responded too loudly for this hour. “You forgot what day it is, didn’t you?” I froze at her words and pulled my phone away to see the date on the screen. A bold ‘February 4th’ stared back at me and my eyes widened once again that morning. Shit.
Ever since we became friends, Mal and I had created a tradition. On the same day every year we would meet up and spend the day together doing whatever we needed at the time. Some years we went shopping for dates we had or prom dresses, others we stayed at home doing face masks and watching Queer Eye and some harder years we ate ice cream and vented about how much life sucked and how glad we were to have each other. The most important year though was when we moved out to Seoul together after graduating college and saving up money for plane tickets and moving expenses. This day was our day and it always had been, it was more important than some official holidays to us and it was today. February 4th. 
“I love you?” I tried pathetically and Mal laughed at my response, already knowing I had forgotten. Thankfully she wasn’t angry with me as she playfully replied, “You move out of our place for three months and suddenly you forget the most important day of the year.” I laughed but couldn’t help the guilt I felt weighing me down. Mal was my best friend, my rock and I wouldn’t be doing half of the things I had accomplished without her by my side. 
Seemingly reading my mind Mal spoke softly, “Don’t feel bad Y/N/N, I’ve easily forgotten at least four times in the past. I’m coming by yours in a bit and we can decide what the plan is from there.” I smiled even though she couldn’t see it and we said our goodbyes before hanging up. I walked to the front door to be ready to meet her in the lobby as she wasn’t too far from me. I went to lock my door but decided against it as we probably would just end up there for the day and walked to the elevator. 
“Junk food and netflix?” Mal spoke as I opened her car door and got in. I eagerly agreed and we headed to our first stop: the closest convenience store. It easily was the most cost effective option and yet another monument of our friendship. Whenever we were bored or wanted to hang out we always ended up at the closest convenience store and always bought too many things (mainly snacks) we didn’t need. It was always worth it.
After spending too much time and money we headed back to Mal’s apartment and got ready to spend the day together. We pulled up ‘After’ on Netflix because we knew how bad it would be and wanted to laugh at ourselves and each other for reading the original Harry Styles fanfic the movie was based on. After pausing the movie a million times to laugh and talk about what chapter this would be, Mal turned to me and spoke genuinely, “How are you today?” I sighed and looked her in the eye. I smiled as big as I could and told her the truth. “Could be better. It’s always going to be hard though and my neighbor really isn’t helping things.” 
February 4th wasn’t a randomly chosen date. It was a date chosen to help me be prepared for another significant date just around the corner. Mal smiled and nodded in understanding before speaking again, “What would be best for us to do the rest of today?” This is why I loved Mal. She knew the real reason why this day was created and she still never tried to do what she thought I needed to have fun or be okay with it or even ignore it. She always wanted to make sure I was doing what I needed for myself.
I smiled again, larger this time and told her gratefully, “Honestly watching ‘This Is Us’ and crying over One Direction sounds great right now.” We laughed before we pulled the movie and cuddled up together under the blankets. I was so lucky.
I got back to my apartment around 9pm that night with a smile on my face. Today was great and I knew it would help me be prepared for the next important day. I went to unlock my door but it was already unlocked. I froze as I remembered not locking it this morning in case we ended up here and felt my heart drop as I heard the TV on inside. I knew I didn’t leave it on this morning as I hardly used it in general and I braced myself as I slowly opened the door, ready to face whatever burglar or serial killer was inside. Only it was worse.
Namjoon was relaxed and sprawled out on my couch with his feet on the coffee table in front of him. He had a mug with tea in it next to his feet and I gaped at him. He turned to me as he heard the door open and smiled smugly at my expression. “Oh, hey you’re back.” He turned back to the TV and I was too shocked to move from my place in the doorway. He spoke casually like he had every right to be in there. “You know, you should probably stop leaving your door unlocked. You never know what creep or weirdo could walk in.” He took a sip of his tea and raised his brows at me. 
I started to mutter out a response but he stood from the couch and cut me off from my stuttering. “I just want to apologize for keeping you up last week. It’s not cool and I learned my lesson completely. It won’t happen again.” He spoke sincerely and it was honestly scary to hear him talk without sounding sarcastic or cruel. I narrowed my eyes at him and spoke in disbelief, “Really? So...we’re cool?” Namjoon laughed genuinely with his award winning dimples in view as I arched my brow in confusion. He patted my shoulder as he replied. “Yeah, we’re cool.”
With that he walked past me and out the door, closing it behind him and calling for me to “Make sure you lock it”. I looked around my apartment for anything that seemed broken or tampered with to ignore the pounding of my heart and the heat that lingered where his hand was. After coming up empty handed I was confused. Surely he would’ve tried to get me back. Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone so far like I did and just talked to him. I sighed and groaned as I felt guilt start to swallow me up again that day. 
It wasn’t until I moved to get ready for bed that I saw I had no need to feel guilty at all. I was right about him. I should’ve gone further than what I did because he did get me back. He had replaced something of mine I hadn’t thought of before and it was way worse than I could’ve imagined. Sitting innocently on top of my dresser was a little note with his messy scrawl reading ‘Gotcha ;)’ and I panicked. I looked through all my shirts, pants, socks but found nothing until I looked in the last drawer. I gasped as I saw his handiwork and couldn’t believe it. He had replaced my entire underwear collection with brand new, lacy thongs.
To say I was fuming would be an understatement. Not only had he completely invaded my privacy but he had touched and stolen things that were for my eyes only. I had to use every ounce of strength in my body to not feel embarrassed that he had seen my lackluster collection since that was not the issue here. I couldn’t just ask him to give them back and at the moment putting on my dirty pair I discarded after the quick shower I had taken was also not an option. I swallowed my pride and slipped a lacy red thong with floral details up my legs and dove into bed hoping to forget my day and have sleep take over me.
Shockingly, I seemed to once again be the only one who found my situation infuriating. Mal was practically suffering the next morning as she tried to hold in her laughter at my explanation of the night before. My glare did nothing to ease her laughter that had finally bubbled out of her loudly and I brushed past her into the kitchen in my shop. I ignored her wheezing as I pulled out the bowls and ingredients for the day. Today called for a new creation and ultimate focus since all I could think of was the fact that I could feel the soft material of my sundress against just about every part of me.
Tying my apron around my waist, I got to work. I started with cupcakes as I was constantly out of stock of my new flavor “Maliblue”. It was a spring themed cupcake with lemon flavored cake and a blueberry frosting. The hoards of college students on spring break back at home posting pictures at beaches inspired the name and surprisingly it sold well for a small bakery in Korea. As I placed my first batch in the oven I got to thinking on what to do next. I wanted something new and good. 
Before I could clearly think out any ideas I started grabbing ingredients and let my body work for me. Mal walked back, seemingly calmed down and ready to let me vent. “Alright I’m sorry but you can not tell me you don't see any humor in this!” 
I rolled my eyes and pushed a stubborn strand of hair back behind my ear as I worked on the mystery item in front of me. “Honestly I don’t see any humor in him discovering my granny panty collection.” I murmured under my breath. My eyes widened as I spoke and I hoped she hadn’t heard me, but as her smile widened and she crossed her arms over her chest smugly I knew the damage was done. “So that’s why you’re upset. You’re embarrassed cause the guy you like saw your underwear and now he probably doesn't think you’re sexy. I mean it’s understandable.” 
I fought the urge to wipe her smug grin off her face and instead spoke in a tone way too defensive “I do not like him and couldn’t give two shits if he thought I was sexy.” This only made her grin widen even further and my growing blush worsen. I groaned at the sight and went back to mixing the batter in front of me. I apparently was in a cupcake mood as that’s what I decided to make with it.
“What are you making?” Mal questioned as I moved to grab some cream cheese and raspberries from the fridge and I shrugged in response because I truly didn’t know. I had finished the chocolate cake batter and now started on a filling. I heard Mal’s phone buzz and she grabbed it at lightning speed while smiling at her screen. I raised my eyebrows in reaction to her sudden movement and she gave me an apologetic glance before hurriedly typing out a response. It was now my turn to question her and she seemed to realize this as she innocently looked at me before trying to dip her finger in the chocolate batter.
I swatted her hand away and put my hands on my hips while tilting my head at her accusingly. She sighed and started to blush before I even asked the question she knew was on my mind. “So who is he?” I suddenly spoke and Mal flushed even further before smiling and quietly muttering “Jimin” in response. I kind of expected his name even though I constantly teased her for ‘liking the enemy’. Before I could question her further though, the oven dinged and the front door swung open against the bells above it, signalling a new customer. “Literally saved by the bell.” I spoke as I went to the oven.
She darted to the front of the store leaving me confused as she never was excited to greet customers. I shook it off and pulled the cupcakes from the oven, continuing to mix the filling for my new batch as they cooled. After placing the chocolate batter in a greased tin and placing them in the oven, I walked out of the kitchen, wiping my hands on my apron, and froze. Of course it wasn’t just a customer that had come in. It was Jimin and behind him stood an amused looking Namjoon. I rolled my eyes at the sight and overheard Mal and Jimin talking about their plans for the evening. I smiled slightly hearing them so excited and watching them act like love sick puppies.
“Wow you sure know how to greet your customers huh?” Spoke a familiar voice and my smile vanished. I still hadn’t come up with my plan to get him back and I honestly didn’t have the patience to face him while wearing lace. That he had bought.
“I wouldn’t consider you a customer, more like a nuisance.” I spoke boldly and his signature wicked grin appeared. Before he could speak up again Mal put her hand on my shoulder. “I’ve just had a great idea.” She spoke loudly, gaining everyone's attention. “Oh no.” I mumbled at the glint in her eyes. “Why don’t you and Namjoon join me and Jimin tonight? I’m sure staying here all night can’t possibly be better than mini golf and ice cream.” She spoke sweetly but I knew better. 
Jimin instantly agreed and I saw a similar look of dread on Namjoon’s face as I turned to face him. It quickly vanished though as he replaced it with a cocky smirk and made eye contact with me as she spoke “That is a great idea. It’s a date.” I almost choked on my spit at his words but before I could retort, he glanced at his watch and got Jimin’s attention as they had to head back to their shop. “See you at closing, Moonlight.” He winked after his words and was out the door. I saw Mal turn to me with eyebrows raised and knew she was going to question the nickname but the oven dinged once again and I sheepishly told her, “Saved by the bell?”
I had finished my new cupcakes and placed them out to be sold when shockingly they sold out. I had to remake them twice throughout the day but had yet to come up with a name for them. Before I could though, it was closing time and Jimin and Namjoon had come back to the shop, ready to go mini golfing. I cursed myself for wearing a short sundress and jean jacket as Seoul decided wind was a great idea tonight. I locked the door to the shop and we headed off. Before we got too far, however, Namjoon pulled me back to walk with him and leaned into my ear as he spoke “Hope you’re wearing one of my presents tonight under that dress, Moonlight.” I felt my jaw drop as he let go of my arm and innocently smiled before walking off to join Jimin and Mal.
This was going to be a long night.
Walking to mini golf felt like an eternity with Namjoon standing next to me, towering over my frame, and with Mal and Jimin giggling and holding hands in front of us. I didn’t realize I was staring at them until a chuckle sounded from next to me. “What?” I asked him questioningly. He smiled softly at me and I felt my heart clench at the sight. This was the first time he had looked at me with anything other than cockiness or venom in his eyes. I brushed off the feeling as shock and waited for him to reply. 
“You just had a funny face is all. You looked bored, angry and like you were plotting some evil plan all at once.” He spoke jokingly and I sighed at his answer. “Why does everyone say that?” I groaned and Namjoon looked at me confused but intrigued. I answered the question I knew he was about to ask, “Everyone says I look like I’m plotting something and I never am. I don’t plot anything. Ever.” Namjoon just laughed lightly at that and looked up at the setting sun.
“If it means anything, you look cute when you plot how to escape third-wheeling. You furrow your eyebrows and squint your eyes and get all focused.” He looked sheepish as he finished his statement and scratched at his neck before he shoved his hands in his pockets. I felt heat rise to my cheeks and cleared my throat before retorting. “Don’t think you can just try to smooth talk me and make me forgive you for your little prank last night.” I sounded much more confident than I felt and I praised whatever higher power for giving me that strength.
Namjoon smirked but it wasn’t cocky like it usually was. He hung his head down and shook his head while smiling, dimples proudly on display. We were quiet for a while after that but soon we were at the mini golf place and practically pulled inside by Mal and Jimin. The interior was dark and covered in blacklights and neon paints lit up the otherwise hidden walls and courses. Jimin paid for Mal and I went to grab my wallet when Namjoon stopped me with his question of “What color ball do you want, Moonlight?”. I quirked a brow at him in slight protest before he tilted his head at me in response and sighed out a ‘green’ in indignation.
He grinned in triumph as he received our balls and the score card from the teenage cashier. He tossed me my green ball which I easily caught and rolled my eyes as he led me to the first hole. My worn, white shoes lit up under the lights as well as Namjoon’s shirt under his flannel and warm looking jacket. He boyishly smiled at the sight and his eyes widened as he did so. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of him acting like a little kid and he looked like a deer in headlights as he realized he was caught. 
I placed my ball down after Mal hugged a blushing Jimin for getting a hole in one and was ready to give a half assed attempt at hitting the ball before Namjoon asked in shock “What are you doing?” like I was committing a crime. I stood up straight in confusion and lazily gestured to my ball before responding plainly “Playing mini golf. It’s not like I’m trying to win or anything.” I leaned back over before he moved towards me. I stood up again and held out my hand for him to stop before speaking again.
“No. Absolutely not. You’re not about to pull some cheesy rom com bullshit on me where the guy goes behind the girl to ‘help with her technique’. Go stand by that neon pink dick on the wall and look pretty while I take five attempts at getting this ball in the hole.” I pointed my finger at the wall as I spoke and he laughed loudly at my speech before raising his hands in surrender and stepping close to the wall with said spray painted neon pink dick. He crossed his arms and challenged me with his eyes to do as I said I would.
“Thank you.” I curtsied in my sundress and he laughed in response. It took me four tries before I finished while Namjoon got it in two and we walked to the next hole before realizing Mal and Jimin were far ahead of us. I sighed at the sight of the next 17 holes and Namjoon nudged me with his elbow. “You know, the tickets for mini golf also came with unlimited arcade credits.” he pointed his head in the direction of the arcade on the other side of the courses. I smiled and started walking towards the bright lights and sounds of the games being played before speaking over my shoulder “I’ll kick your ass in skeeball.” 
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“You’re a cheater.” Namjoon spoke grumpily as I won another game and beat him. We played a few rounds of skeeball then moved on to air hockey where he destroyed me and I sulked until we played mario kart where I came in second to him again. I pouted until he led me to the basketball game where I beat his ass twice. 
I laughed at his words as we walked to the counter for prizes. “I never cheat. You just chose to get your ass handed to you by a girl. It’s okay, Joon. Happens to the best of us.” He stopped moving and smiled and I grabbed his wrist to drag him to the counter before dropping all our tickets onto it. “Stop smiling like a doofus and get me that angry minion.” I put my hands on my hips as I spoke and he looked at the worker before saying “You heard the lady.” and pushing our tickets to them. 
He kept smiling and looking at his shoes as if they were incredibly interesting before I flicked his shoulder and asked him “What are you smiling at?” He shook his head and grabbed the minion from the employee’s hand and mine in his other hand. I blushed lightly at the sudden contact and moved to keep up with him. “You called me Joon. It’s cute. I usually reserve that nickname for family and close friends so the fact I’m not throwing your ass outside and blocking off all contact with you is a shock to us all.”
I laughed at his statement and we soon ran into Mal and Jimin who looked equally smug and love sick as ever. Mal looked down to our still interlocked hands and I quickly withdrew mine from Namjoon’s grasp before speaking. “So. Ice cream anyone?”
The walk to the parlor was quiet and Namjoon looked deep in thought as his hands were shoved in his pockets and his brows were furrowed. The ice cream shop we were going to wasn’t even a real shop as it was a cart with outdoor seating under strung lights and wooden beams. The wind had only gotten worse as the night went on so the cold was brutal against my exposed skin. I pulled my surprisingly thin jean jacket tight around my frame and moved my hands quickly up and down my arms in an attempt to gain some warmth. Suddenly a hand stopped my quick movements and I was pulled into a firm body. I looked up in shock as Namjoon hugged me tightly against him and wrapped his arms around my waist.
I tried to push away from him but he was so warm I was finding it hard to resist. “Stop pushing, Moonlight. Put your arms inside my jacket, it’ll warm you up.” I eyed him suspiciously and he sighed before rolling his eyes and starting to pull away. I practically shouted in protest as I felt the sudden frigid wind hit me again. I hesitantly listened to him and leaned fully against him with my arms inside of his incredibly warm jacket.
“Who’s bullshit idea was it to get ice cream outside.” I grumbled against his chest. I felt the vibrations of him laughing at my words and felt soothed at the sensation. I closed my eyes and released a breath I hadn’t known I was holding in. His arms rubbed up and down my back and I felt tension leave my body as we started to sway side to side. “I’m still pissed at you.” I spoke again and I felt him look down at me. I met his amused eyes and put my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. “Damn, you mean my plan to woo you and make you fall for me so you’ll forget how mad you are hasn’t worked yet?” 
I smiled at him and breathily laughed before speaking with new found confidence. “Barely. It might’ve worked if I wasn’t wearing red lace all day with no one to admire. It’s frustrating really. If only I were wooed.” 
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Nobody could have prepared me for the absolute chaos that came from joining Jimin and Mal on their date. It was only the next morning and my phone hadn’t stopped buzzing due to texts and calls from Mal. I only briefly glanced at them before I went to sleep the night before and knew she was begging for “details” of the night she imagined happened. Namjoon had walked me back to our building after we finished up our ice cream. We walked in silence with our hands brushing slightly with every sudden movement. After a few blocks I crossed my arms over my chest, too high off the feeling of his skin against mine, no matter how miniscule and told myself it was due to how cold I was. 
I was utterly dumbfounded. Yes, Namjoon was undeniably attractive and we had gotten along well throughout our night together but he was still Namjoon. The guy stealing my business, my noisy neighbor who replaced all my underwear, the jerk who couldn’t even attempt to spell my name right, Namjoon. He made my blood boil and my heart race but it was beginning to get confusing as I couldn’t distinguish the anger for something else. We parted ways as he stopped in front of his door and I kept walking to mine. I thought he was about to speak but I had already opened my door and rushed in before he could utter a single syllable.
Sleep didn’t come easy, and before I knew it I had tossed and turned until 5am. I sighed and pushed myself up to get ready. I clearly wasn’t going to rest and the only form of relaxation I knew was a few blocks down the road. I shrugged on my clothes after a quick shower and grabbed my keys before heading out. I froze as I heard the door next to mine open as I was locking my own and willed myself to not look at him as I heard the footsteps suddenly stop just like mine had.
I finished locking my door and turned in the direction of the elevator without making any effort to actually walk towards it. Namjoon quickly closed and locked his door and suddenly we were in a silent battle of who would speak first. Shy glances and nervous movements could only do so much and he seemed to grow tired of it as he spoke up first. “Early morning?” He asked as he reached up to scratch at the back of his neck awkwardly. It seemed to be a nervous habit of his but before I could think about what that made me feel I responded. “Couldn’t sleep.” I spoke sheepishly and played with my hands in front of me.
I took in a breath and looked up with a smile as I walked to the elevator behind him. He joined me and soon the doors were closing behind us. “Was I too loud or anything? I was kinda up all night too. Just...thinking.” He grew quiet as he finished and I assured him it had nothing to do with him. At least I think so. We once again started walking down the road to our respective shops by each other's side. Our hands brushed again and I praised the yawn that left my body as it gave me an excuse to move my hand away from his. He looked over at me and once again looked like he wanted to say something. This time, however, I let him say what was on his mind.
“Do you maybe want a coffee? I mean that’s at least why I left my place.” I looked up at him and blinked away the tears that had formed due to my yawning and saw something flash in his eyes and a small smile grow on his face. I was hesitant to spend more time alone with him but before I could deny him another yawn left me and he chuckled. “Come on, Moonlight, I think I know a good place.”
We made our way to the Hideout Cafe and he grabbed the keys from his back pocket before holding the door open for me. I smiled at him in thanks and took in the coffee shop once again. It was different at this time of day. The chairs were stacked up and pushed against the walls along with the wooden tables, the dim lights were calming as the sun had yet to rise and fill up the shop with its bright rays. Namjoon moved easily behind the counter and turned on some machines I didn’t recognize. I stood next to the door taking in all the artwork and posters lining the walls before I noticed a section at the corner of the shop. There was a wooden ledge lining the corner covered in pillows and soft looking blankets. The lights hanging above it made it look inviting and I slowly walked towards the bookcases on the wall next to the makeshift reading nook.
I looked at the familiar and unknown titles until I heard Namjoon call for me. I turned to answer him only to see him walking towards me. “I didn’t see this here the first time I came.” I spoke softly and he smiled at me before pulling a book off the ledge and placing it on the shelf where it belonged. “When I bought this place the corner seat was already here so it just felt right to add everything else.” He shrugged as he spoke but the almost longing look he wore towards the books told me there was something more to his story.
He turned to me again as he spoke “What would you like?” and his right arm stretched out to the chalkboard menu above the counter. I walked with him to stand in front of it to get a better look but couldn’t decide. I bit down on my lip in concentration as I tried to figure out something right to order. I didn’t want to get something embarrassing and ‘basic’ but I wanted something that tasted good. Namjoon stood next to me and looked at the side of my face before I decided to say what I thought was a good answer. “Surprise me.”
And surprise me, he definitely did. I moved to lean against the counter as I watched him work. We talked about random facts and our favorite things and every few minutes I would ask what he was making before he would continue to avoid my question. After a seemingly never ending wait he handed me my to go cup with steam and an addicting aroma wafting up to my nose. He already looked smug before I even took a sip and I knew it was going to be good. I took the lid off to let it cool off and smell it clearly. Fed up with my stalling, Namjoon rolled his eyes and ordered me to drink it. I huffed out a sigh and did as he said. I was right. It was good. Before I could stroke his ego with my full review of the magical drink in my hands I had to open up my own shop.
That didn’t cause the image of him smirking and calling out to me “Bye, Moonlight.” to leave my mind for the rest of the day. If anything it only made me long to see him even sooner. Mal had burst into the shop on schedule and I prepared myself for her interrogation. “Well you two were certainly cozy last night. It’s truly amazing how well you can get along with others when you aren’t trying to rip their head off.” I rolled my eyes before changing the subject. “I was only trying to get close to him and make him think I don’t have my next prank planned and ready to go.” 
Mal laughed at my words before looking me in the eye and speaking confidently, “If you wanted my help coming up with a prank you could’ve just asked instead of lying.” I laughed before looking at her with pleading eyes. “My God you’re hopeless.” She sighed and I silently cheered as I knew she was going to help.
A few google searches, texts to Jimin, and a visit to a public library copy machine later we were ready. It was still only noon and I sent Mal out to put up all the flyers we had made before taking a lunch break together. I was nervous to see how this went. I wouldn’t be around him all day and I was relying on updates from Jimin to see how everything was going. All I could gather from the last text Mal had received and read out to me was that Namjoon was pissed. Mission accomplished. 
Walking to my building on my own felt lonely after having someone with me the night before and this morning. I brushed that thought aside as I knew Namjoon would be home soon as I saw Jimin turning the ‘Open’ sign on the door to the Hideout Cafe to ‘Closed’ before giving me a wink. 
I had made it to the elevator in the lobby before the door to the building opened behind me. I felt a shiver go down my spine in anticipation and excitement. Sure enough a tired and annoyed looking Namjoon stood next to me while glaring down at his phone. I bit back my laugh and pressed the button for our floor in silence. He leaned his head back onto the elevator wall and let out a deep breath. I started to feel guilty but he didn’t know I was to blame for the likely endless calls he had received today so I swallowed my fear and walked to my door as the elevator came to a stop at our floor. 
I was putting my key into the lock when I heard a deep groan and ringtone start to play loudly. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I heard Namjoon angrily speak into the phone “No this is not the number for Chewbaca roaring contest, please don’t call again.” before hanging up. I laughed before clamping a hand over my mouth quickly, but it was too late. Namjoon looked over at me and realization flashed across his face followed my anger and...hurt? He opened his door before slamming it behind him and I continued to laugh until I made my way inside my own apartment. That’s when the confusion hit. Why did the hurt look on his face make me feel guilty all over again?
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I woke up not being able to breathe. My eyes were open wide and I continued to cough and wheeze, trying to desperately fill my burning lungs with the air they craved. I threw my duvet off my body and fell to the floor of my bedroom coughing with tears streaming down my face. 
“Y/N run!” 
No. This isn’t real. It’s all a dream. My head was tormenting me with memories from that night. My chest started to rise and fall frantically due to the lack of oxygen and the flashing images behind my eyelids.
“Help! Please someone help me!” I was running around the hoards of people filling my street and in front of my house. There were red and blue lights flashing and blurring my vision until all I saw was a kaleidoscope of the two colors.
I clamped my hands over my ears and let out a violent sob. I couldn’t see clearly in front of me. There was a thin fog covering the room and burning my eyes.
I fell to my knees and sobbed until I was mobbed by a herd of paramedics and police officers. I was hysterical. “Please, just help me please! They're still inside please, they were on the second floor please!” I pushed away hands full of gauze and bandages, trying to get them to just understand. “My mom and sister are still inside please! Go get them” All of my senses were overpowered by fiery embers and heat, yet I could see more clearly than ever as a firefighter walked quickly to a police officer helping to try and calm me down. I was zeroed in on the interaction and would never forget the feeling of my heart dropping and shattering when they pulled away and looked back on me with that undeniable look of pity on their faces.
I screamed and felt all of the life leave my body as I fell to the asphalt below me. There was silence. I couldn’t hear my screams of agony, feel the hands pulling me up and into an ambulance, taste the smoke that I had been choking on earlier, smell the burnt remnants of my home that had gone up in flames, or see anything aside from the flashing images of my mother and sister in my mind.
I was rocking back and forth, mumbling incoherently, and sobbing as I curled into myself at the foot of my bed. I felt my body being shaken and shot my eyes open to see the concerned face of Mal above me. Her hands were on my shoulders and she was calling out my name. I launched into her arms and continued sobbing into her shoulder. She brushed her hands through my hair and held me until I was only hiccuping every few seconds. 
“I came to check up on you because I know 5 years is a big anniversary. What happened? I could smell that air freshener from the elevator.” She spoke softly as she looked into my eyes with concern. I furrowed my brows in confusion before looking around the room. “What? It’s not the 14th yet, Mal. Right?” She pulled my phone off the nightstand and showed me the screen with the date I’ve despised for the past 5 years on the screen. I felt my heart drop and tears well up all over again. I blinked them back before continuing to answer her second question.
“I don’t know what happened. I woke up and I couldn’t breathe or see clearly. What do you mean you could smell the air freshener? I didn’t spray anything.” As I calmed down more I could smell the overpowering scent of fruit and hibiscus. I scrunched up my face and gagged at the suffocating aromas. Mal furrowed her brows and grabbed an almost empty aerosol can of air freshener from beside her. “I mean I assumed you didn’t do this since I had to cut a zip tie off of it. Babe, I think you were pranked.” It made sense. The surprise and shock of it, the zip tie, all of it. 
I shook my head and moved to stand up. “What are you doing?” Mal questioned. I moved to my closet and grabbed some jeans and an old t-shirt. “Getting ready for work. I was pranked, it’s not the end of the world or a reason for me to stop living life as per usual.” I couldn’t meet her eyes as I spoke. I didn’t want to talk about what had happened. Especially today. Mal sighed before standing as well. “I know it still hurts. Anyone in your place would feel the exact same way. But it’s been 5 years since that fire and I know the anniversaries always hit you harder as the years go by. When you choose to talk to me, I’ll be here.”
I nodded my head as I held onto my clothes for the day. 5 years. 5 years. They died exactly 5 years ago today and I still missed them like it was day one. I let out a sigh before starting to get dressed.
I spent all day in the bakery trying to avoid all my emotions I had kept bottled up. It was getting harder to ignore everything but being in my safe place usually made it bearable. However, today I was confused. Customers kept asking for refunds repeatedly throughout the day and I didn’t understand why. I baked everything fresh this morning, the same as I always have. Even my regulars were complaining and throwing perfectly fine food into the trash. It seemed like the cherry on top of everything that had happened already. Mal and I struggled to find the answer for hours. We retraced and rebaked until our heads were spinning.
I was dealing with a new customer who was demanding a refund when the answer became clear. “It’s just pure salt! Honestly how can you run a bakery and mix up your salt and sugar!” I froze. The customer continued to rant but I felt like I was underwater. I know for a fact I had used the sugar. I hadn’t mixed up like that since I was a child experimenting at home. I quickly apologised and handed the customer their money before rushing back to the kitchen. Mal had watched the encounter and followed quickly behind me. I practically threw the sugar container onto my work table before ripping off the plastic lid. I put my finger inside and tasted the white contents. Salt. I was dumbfounded. How could this have happened.
The bell above the shop sounded and I walked out to greet the customer while trying to hide the confusion on my face. I walked in view of my “customer” and felt like a brick wall had collapsed onto me. I felt the pricking of tears behind my eyes and my mouth grew dry at the sight. Namjoon was standing in front of the register looking smug as ever and I felt utterly stupid. 
“What’s wrong, Moonlight? Shop’s empty, looks like you’ve been having some trouble with customer satisfaction today. Wonder why.” I untied my apron and tossed it off quickly before going to the back to grab my things. Mal looked up at my sudden appearance and I spoke before she could. “You know what, you were right. Today is a big deal. I’m closing up for the rest of the day. It’s too much.” I was trembling as I grabbed my purse and walked out to avoid her concerned gaze. Namjoon was still standing at the register as I walked to the front door. He looked confused and worried but I bit my lip hard to avoid crying in front of him. 
“Hey, what’s wrong. It was just a prank I didn’t think-” I turned around to face him and pointed my finger at him. “You’re a fucking asshole you know? This is my livelihood and my everything. I could’ve maybe handled you fucking with my business any other day of the year but today it’s way too much. Whatever prank war or competition we were doing to spite each other is done. Congrats! You won. Now never touch me or my things or come into my apartment or store ever again.” The tears were freely flowing down my face but I didn’t care. 
“Wait, Moonli-” Namjoon reached out for me but I turned and opened the door before he could finish. “And don’t call me that. You don’t know me. I don’t know you. What’s the point of stupid nicknames for people you don’t really know or want to talk to ever again.” I walked out before he could stop me again, not halting until I was at my apartment. I locked the door behind me and fell onto the couch with sobs and memories of laughter and people I’ll never get back lulling me to sleep.
Coping has always been difficult for me. I never really understood that I could let out my emotions and talk about them with people without being judged or told it’s not important. It only got harder for me when my mom and sister died five years ago. I never talked about it. I avoided the emotions and my guilt and pain from that day for five years and I was only hurting more as a result. I was curled up on my couch under a fuzzy blanket with tears streaming down my face, but I didn’t feel anything besides numbness. I wasn’t struggling to catch my breath or having sobs shake my body, I was numb. I was on my couch for what felt like infinity but realistically was probably a few hours. It was dark outside and no matter how exhausted I was, I knew sleep would never come.
I heard a soft knock at my door and made no move to answer it. My phone was abandoned on the coffee table and hadn’t been touched since I first came home. I knew Mal had been trying to reach me as the vibrations hadn’t stopped all day. The knocking came again, louder this time. I took as deep of a breath that I could manage before moving to sit up. I pulled my blanket tight around my body as I walked to the door. I didn’t check the peep hole because nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn’t care.
I unlocked the door and opened it to see a worried Namjoon….I still didn't know his last name. Further proof of why he shouldn’t be here and why I shouldn’t feel warm inside that he is. He looked up to meet my eyes and his expression fell into a sorrowful one laced with confusion. I turned back around and walked towards my couch, not in the mood for formalities.
“I’m sorry.” He spoke softly yet confident as I sat down. I huffed out a laugh and shook my head. “Why are you here?” I croaked out. He took a step closer and I felt my body tense slightly. He stopped moving before answering, “Why would I be anywhere else? I hurt you and I need you to know it wasn’t my plan for that to happen.” He started to scratch the back of his neck and I sighed.
“It’s not your fault.” My voice was shaky and my eyes filled with tears. I cleared my throat and looked up at him. He looked sad and curious and I knew I couldn’t keep it all in anymore. I scooted over on my couch and motioned my hand for him to join me. He hesitantly obeyed but never took his gaze off of me. “I need to be honest.” I spoke softly. He moved his hand above my shoulder to comfort me, before moving it back to his lap. I took in a breath before speaking about something I thought would be internalized forever.
“Five years ago I lived in a small town in Colorado. I had lived there my whole life and was happy. It was just my mom, sister, and I in a small house with a gorgeous view of the mountains. Mal lived in the neighborhood with us and we’ve basically been joint at the hip since birth.” I stopped as the night came back to me. I closed my eyes tightly and Namjoon turned towards me. I don’t know why, but I reached out and grasped his hand. He squeezed my smaller one tightly before rubbing circles into the back of my palm with his thumb.
“One night, we were having a sleepover. We were 18 but acted like children so we made a blanket fort in the living room. We watched movies all night and eventually we decided to go to my room so we could sleep. We thought we unplugged everything but we were tired and there was a stupid fucking candle. My room was on the first floor but my mom and sister’s were on the second.” I felt Namjoon squeeze my hand tighter and I let out a choked sob. He pulled me into his arms and rocked me slowly.
I cried into his chest as his hands rubbed my back soothingly. After I started to calm down a bit, I pulled back a bit to look at him. “We made it out. The neighbors had already called but there was no way they could’ve made it down the stairs without being trapped by the fire. I did it. I killed them. It’s been five years today and I’ve never talked about it. So it’s not your fault, Joon. It’s all mine because I’m too much of a coward to accept what I did five years ago.”
Namjoon gently placed his hand on my face and turned it to look into his eyes. “It never has been, and never will be your fault. It was an accident. Don’t carry that guilt because it’s not true. Okay?” I felt more tears flow and he wiped them away. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you, it’s just that baking is how I try to cope. I mean I still bottled up everything so I guess it didn’t work too well but-” Namjoon cut me off with his next words. I was shocked after he did. He looked into my eyes with nothing but kindness and genuity. 
“Teach me how to bake.” 
“What?” I started to wonder if confiding in him was the right choice since it seemed that he didn’t even know how to listen to me.
“You said it helps you cope, and it clearly makes you happy. I want you to start learning that it's okay to not get over something as big as that in one conversation. And that it’s not your fault. It’ll take time. So we’re going to bake something and talk about whatever you want to until you accept that it’s not your fault. We may bake a lot of things since this is gonna take a while, but I’ll be here until that day comes. I also really want to see you be happy right now. So teach me how to bake and I’ll teach you whatever you want in return.”
I was in awe. I didn’t know why he cared so much but I knew he was right. It was going to take some time and he clearly wanted to start now. I stood up and started walking to my kitchen. He followed behind me and stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking around the array of ingredients I pulled out. It was only flour, sugar, eggs, and butter but he already looked stressed. He let out a breath and pulled off his jacket as I reached to grab some mixing bowls and measuring cups. “So what do you want to bake?” I asked him so I could narrow down the necessary tools and ingredients. 
“A cake?” He shrugged his shoulders and I smiled at his seemingly nervous behavior. “Ask me. It makes it seem more official and I like hearing you ask to be taught something you don’t know.”  He smiled before rolling his shoulders back and dramatically clearing his throat. And so he asked, “Y/N, will you please teach me how to bake a cake?” and I did.
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The week following our first “lesson” was only filled with constant interaction and more lessons. At first we only baked random sweets while dancing around to whatever song came on shuffle through my bluetooth speaker. We talked about our loves and passions and sometimes we touched on my mom and sister but Namjoon would never push me too far. I knew the feelings I was starting to harbor for him were more than platonic. It wasn’t just his looks or stupid jokes or smile at my even worse jokes. I was the little things. 
It was his caring heart. ‘Teach me to bake in a bakery.’ “So why do you add that if it’s not in the recipe?” he questioned me with a slight tilt of his head. “Because it’s the secret ingredient, Joon. And if I find out you tell anyone what it is I’ll burn down your coffee shop. Okay?” His eyebrows raised and his eyes widened before a boyish grin spread across his face. “Jeez, what’s with you and fire?” I tensed slightly but before I could feel any negative emotion, Namjoon lightly touched my arm and turned me to meet his pleading gaze. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like-” I cut him off with a flurry of giggles and my hunched over frame. “Why are you apologizing? I am really shit when it comes to fire safety.” I winked at him and saw him relax. With him around, it was okay. He cared.
It was his patience. ‘Teach me to make a beat’ “Ughhhh. Joon, I’m never going to get this right.” The throbbing in my fingertips and crease in my brow due to my frustration were evident. “Moonlight, it takes practice. And a good teacher always helps, hence why I’m here. You’re gonna get it, just try again.” He was seated next to me at his impressive studio desk trying to correctly position my randomly placed snare drum and bass sounds on the program in front of us. If it wasn’t his equipment I would have thrown it all at the wall ages ago. I sighed and sat up straighter in his desk chair before moving around some of the beats and trying again to make something that didnt sound like a middle school band warming up, or just a total cluster fuck of noises. Namjoon hummed along to the beat of the song I was “creating” and while it was incredibly off beat and by no means perfect, it was an incredible improvement. “See! I knew you could do it.” I smiled widely, matching his own. “How are you so optimistic and patient? You literally just sat through an hour of me butchering your presets with a smile the whole time.” He laughed before grabbing the instrument from my arms. “Because it’s you.”
It was determination. ‘Teach me to appreciate Shakespeare’ “Wait so Juliet is actually dead now? How did Romeo not even check to see if she was breathing?” Namjoon spoke confused. “She was in a tomb and looked pretty dead. All he knew is that his true love was dead and they were supposed to run away together.” I closed my copy of Romeo and Juliet and continued playing with his hair in my lap. “Huh. But why kill himself? And why would she do the same? Why couldn’t she just tell him her plan so that this wouldn’t have happened?” His hand gestured wildly in front of him and I looked down at his head that he had moved to my lap during the final act of the play with a smile. “That’s the tragedy of it all. They were so close to being together and running off on their own with no judgement.” Namjoon sat up at my answer and looked me in the eye as he spoke once more, “I guess you taught me how to appreciate Romeo and Juliet so congrats. But you still didn’t answer my other questions. Why would they see that the only option was death?” I looked away before answering. “I guess we all just want somebody to die for.”
It was his knowledge. ‘Teach me the best movies’ “Well we obviously have to watch The Godfather if you want to review the best movies of all time.” Namjoon had just come back to his living room with a bowl of popcorn as I settled into his couch with a fluffy blanket. “Well I’ve never seen it so I guess it wouldn’t be a review for me.” I spoke casually as Namjoon sat next to me under the blanket. He turned to me so fast I thought he might snap his neck. “You’ve never seen my favorite movie of all time? Okay we definitely need to start there.” I laughed as he pressed play. “I never watch movies. I just feel like I have more important things in life to spend my time on.” He looks offended as he processes my words. “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t just hear that.”
It was all these things about him and more. I was falling for Kim Namjoon more than I thought possible. I also finally learned his surname during a slightly embarrassing lesson of ‘Teach me your last name’. Currently we were still in our lesson about movies. Namjoon was insistent I was “educated” and no matter how hard I tried to watch the movie, I couldn’t concentrate. When I looked around all I saw was Namjoon. Namjoon’s apartment,Namjoon’s couch, Namjoon’s arm around my shoulders, Namjoon’s favorite movie playing, Namjoon’s blanket covering my body, Namjoon’s incredibly soft and cozy hoodie he let me wear, Namjoon. Thankfully my lack of concentration and stream of thoughts were broken by the man himself.
 About 10 minutes into the film, Namjoon asks a question I wasn’t expecting. “Wait so since you don’t watch movies, what did you have in the background during makeout sessions growing up?” He threw some popcorn in his mouth as I froze. He turned back to me at my lack of response. “Um, nothing?” I spoke timidly. “Wow, straight to the point, huh?” I shook my head and spoke the embarassing truth, “No I just, I’ve never been kissed. So there really wasn’t ever the chance to put something on.” I turned away from him, scared of him laughing in my face. Instead he just spoke “Bullshit. There’s no way nobody’s kissed you before.” I looked at his stupidly charming grin and said, “Well it’s not bullshit. And why are you so shocked?” He looked at me like I was stupid before stating “Because you’re beautiful.” He spoke the words like it was obvious. 
After a moment of silence, I turned my attention back to the movie playing but I couldn’t focus. I played with my fingers until Namjoon spoke softly “I can teach you, if you want” and I stopped moving completely. “But only if you’re okay with that” he blushes and hurriedly adds. I stopped his rambling though as I nodded my head with a quiet “okay”. I watched as his eyes widened. He fumbled for words a little before he moved impossibly closer and leaned in. He hesitated though and pulled away to my confusion. “You have to ask me. It’s our rule.” He says it almost playfully but the look in his eyes contradicts his playful smirk. I knew he wanted my full consent before doing anything.
 I let out a nervous laugh before uttering the words, “Teach me how to kiss.” And he does.
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I dreamed of Namjoon and soft yet heated kisses that night. Waking up, I was confused to see the surroundings of his apartment lit by the soft glow of sunlight peeking through the curtains. I froze as I felt movement under my head. I was fully resting on top of Namjoon with my ear pressed to his chest and I smiled as I heard the beating of his heart. He suddenly  took in a deep breath and moved around a bit and I quickly shut my eyes, hoping to stay in this moment for as long as possible. I didn’t know how he felt about last night. Was he only teaching me as a friend? Did he feel even half of what I felt for him? 
His lips were soft as they pressed against mine and I hesitantly returned the kiss. His right hand came to cup my face softly as his head tilted slightly. I felt my heart pounding and the blood coursing through my body like electricity. I pulled away from him slowly, anxious for his next words. “Was that okay?” I spoke quietly and after a moment of silence I looked up to meet his eyes. He didn’t speak, instead he kissed me again with more emotions present than before. I placed my hands onto his chest before moving them to the nape of his neck. I played with the small curls there and felt him shiver in response. He was the one to pull away this time and he moved his hands to my hips before pulling me onto his lap. I was now straddling him and dazed at the sight of his flushed face and red lips. “You’re a natural, Y/N, and as much as I’m enjoying this I think I asked you what you played in the background when you made out with someone.”
My racing thoughts and fluttering heart came to an abrupt halt as I felt Namjoon lean down awkwardly to press his lips against the top of my head. I couldn’t help the wide grin that appeared as a result of his action. I opened one eye and turned to look up at him. He chuckled as he realized he had been caught. “Mornin’, Moonlight” He spoke in his gravely morning voice. I felt my cheeks start to ache slightly due to the size of my smile. “Good morning, Joon” I could only manage a whisper, too scared to shatter the blissful sight and moments of this morning. 
We stared at each other for a bit until the buzzing of Namjoon’s phone caught our attention. Jimin was calling him, however, he made no move to answer it until I pinched his side gently with a glare. “Not answering your best friend’s call is rude you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully before declining the call completely. “Yeah, well calling your best friend while he’s cuddling with a gorgeous girl this early is even worse.” He smirked at me and I sat up slowly while he groaned at the loss of warmth. I moved to straddle his lap and played with his soft hair while he looked up at me with a soft smile on his face. “Hey, what are you staring at, loser?” He shook his head softly and leaned into my hands in his hair.
“You.” He spoke softly with his eyes closed in bliss and a smile on his face and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning down and pressing my lips against his even if I had tried to. He smiled into the kiss before placing his hands onto my thighs and kissing me back. We moved together like a perfect symphony. A rolling wave on the ocean. Ink flowing against the page of a classic novel. I pulled away for air but stayed close to him as he moved his lips to my cheek and slowly kissed down to my neck and the sweet spot he had found the night before. 
“Namjoon” I sighed out as his lips worked against my neck sensually. I moved my hands to his hair and lightly tugged against the strands. He moaned against my neck and his teeth grazed a spot that had me shuddering and letting out a small whimper. He moved his head back up to face me. “Found it.” He stated cockily and I rolled my eyes before pressing my lips against his again, effectively wiping the smug smirk from his face. I felt his tongue brush against my lips and I decided to tease him before granting entrance. He grunted and bit my bottom lip lightly in frustration. I gasped at the sensation and he took the opportunity of my lips parting to explore the new territory.
“Joon, eventually we’re gonna have to go to work and open up for the day.” I spoke to rid my head of the memories of the night before. The groan he let out in response made the butterflies in my stomach appear. “Five more minutes” He muttered and I laughed before grabbing his phone on the coffee table to see how long we had before needing to leave before I gasped and my eyes widened. “Joon, get up. We’re so late, shit.” It was 10 AM and the shop should’ve been open two hours ago. He sat up slowly while squinting his eyes adorably. I shoved his phone into his hand and rushed off of him to head to my apartment for clean clothes. I heard a soft “Shit” as I closed the door behind me.
I bolted into my room and grabbed the first items I saw, which unknowingly included a baby pink, lace thong from Namjoon’s prank. I shoved my legs through my jean shorts and found some comfortable shoes before grabbing my keys and running out the door. Namjoon was already waiting by the elevator doors, tapping his foot impatiently. I let out a breathy laugh as I ran to meet him. He smiled at my presence before looking me up and down. He squinted slightly at the top of my head and laughed as the elevator doors opened. I patted my hair before feeling the slight knots left from not brushing it. As we moved down to the lobby I reached up to fix it as much as I could with my fingers before giving up and reaching for the hair tie around my wrist.
I lifted my arms up to gather all my hair into a messy ponytail and unbeknownst to me, my flowy top lifted up and revealed the baby pink  lace above the hem of my shorts. I heard Namjoon cough and clear his throat suddenly as my hands fell to my sides and the doors opened. “You okay, Joon?” I looked up to him and noticed a slight blush and flustered expression. He tightly smiled and nodded his head before grabbing my hand in his and guiding us out of our building. It was now my turn to blush at his sudden action and the feel of his hand in mine. 
We walked quickly so as to not be even more late to our own businesses. We approached the Hideout Cafe first and Namjoon reached into his back pocket for the keys to the shop. He kept his hand securely in mine as he tried to find the right key. He dropped the key ring onto the concrete before grumbling out some curses. I chuckled and leaned down in front of him to pick them up. I heard him choke out a gasp before I leaned back up to face him with a smile. He quickly took the keys from my hand and before I could think, he leaned down to kiss me before resting his forehead against mine and huskily whispering “I thought you threw out those fucking panties, babygirl.” He pulled back after kissing my cheek and he unlocked the shop before entering, leaving me hot and flustered on the sidewalk outside. 
The walk to my bakery after that was a blur. All I could sense was Namjoon. His whispers in my ear. His hand in mine. His shy smile full of dimples and crinkled eyes. His cologne surrounding me as I was in his arms. The taste of his kiss. The sight of his wink and smile as he walked into his shop. I barely realized I was inside the bakery until Mal called out for me.
“You okay, babe? You look pale.” I took in a deep breath before pushing her hands away from my face. “We need to talk. In the back. Now.” Her eyes widened and turned serious at my words. As I moved to the kitchen and started pacing, Mal moved to turn the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Closed’ before bolting to the back. She stood with her hands on her hips and eyed me pacing frantically before stopping me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. 
“Y/N, all you need to tell me is his first initial and I’ll find him within the week and beat his as-” I cut her off by blurting out “Namjoon and I kissed.” Her eyes widened once again and her jaw dropped before she started smugly smiling. She squealed and pulled me into a tight hug as she rambled about venues and summer versus spring weddings and I looked down at my shoes at her words. “So how did it happen? How long have you two been a thing and why didn’t I know sooner?” I sighed and looked at the excitement covering her face. “We’re not a ‘thing’ and we probably never will be. We’ve been hanging out a lot more recently and teaching each other our favorite things and last night we kissed a lot and I was on his lap and then I woke up with him on his couch and fuck, Mal I’m so scared.”
“Woah, hey what’s wrong? Did you not want him to kiss you?” I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I really wanted him to kiss me. I really wanted to do it again. But I was really scared to admit it. I felt tears well up in my eyes and Mal pulled me into her arms and shushed my quiet sobs. “I really like him, Mal.” I whispered. She pulled back and brushed some hair out of my face before gently holding my face in her hands. “Then what’s so wrong about kissing the guy you like? He wouldn’t have done it if he wasn’t at least slightly interested in you too.” 
I closed my eyes and saw his sleepy smile and bright eyes. I opened them again and voiced my fears, “Because I’m not good enough. He deserves so much more than some broken girl who’s too scared to kiss him in public or even admit to him how she feels. I’m fucked up, Mal. He doesn’t deserve someone like me.” Mal squinted her eyes as I finished.
“Are you done? Good. Number one, you might need to brush your teeth after spewing that much bullshit. Number two, you’re completely right. He doesn’t deserve someone like you. A beautiful, strong, kind, funny, talented, amazing woman who I’m lucky enough to call my best friend. So what if you’re scared about PDA, you said it yourself that you guys aren't anything official so that’s completely understandable. And number three, you never have been and never will be broken. You’ve gone through so much and no one expects you to be one hundred percent healed or back to normal after that. You are worth so much. Okay?” We were both crying as I nodded. I was lucky to have her.
“You’ve been so happy recently and I honestly feel dumb that I didn’t realize why sooner. If he makes you happy then talk to him about this. Let yourself have something good because you deserve it.” I thanked her and held her tightly. “Oh and don’t think you’re off the hook. We are definitely going to talk in full detail about last night and all those times you’ve ‘hung out’ alone together.” I laughed and rolled my eyes before wiping under my eyes. 
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” 
I was cleaning up the shop after closing for the day when the bell above the door sounded. I groaned as I realized I hadn’t locked it yet and now had to deal with late night customers. “We’re closed.” I called from the back, too tired to go up front. “Aw damn. Even for your favorite customer?” A familiar voice spoke in faux disappointment and I felt the butterflies burst to life in my stomach. I smiled and walked up to the register, suddenly full of energy. 
“Bold of you to assume you’re my favorite.” I tilted my head and watched him smile as I appeared. “And to think, I was going to surprise you with a date and everything.” Namjoon shook his head and shrugged his shoulders before turning to leave. I laughed before running to grab his arm. “Well I guess I can make an exception for my favorite customer. But just for tonight.” He turned to me with a bright smile and leaned in to kiss me. I pulled away from him before he could though. He looked confused but brushed it off. 
“I need an order of your best creation.” I bit my lip and thought about what I would make before remembering the cupcakes I had made a few weeks ago. I had thankfully scribbled down the recipe and knew they would be relatively easy. “Only if I have some company while I make it.” I turned to walk into the kitchen and felt his presence behind me. I grabbed all the ingredients listed in my binder of recipes and got to work. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Namjoon picking up the binder and inspecting the page with my messy scrawl. 
“I asked for company so I had someone to talk to, not someone to snoop around and be nosy.” I smiled but never shifted my attention to him. He breathed out a laugh and moved to stand behind me. I felt his arms wrap loosely around my waist and his head rested on my shoulder. He sighed against my back and I leaned into him slightly. “Why doesn’t this one have a name? All the other pages have names at the top but this one just had question marks.” 
“I just came up with this on a whim. Didn’t really have any names in mind. I guess I just forgot to come back to it.” I spoke truthfully as I stirred the ingredients together to form a smooth batter. Namjoon hummed in response and I continued working with his arms around me. When I had to place the cupcakes into the oven I nudged his arm with my elbow and he groaned. “‘M comfy.” He mumbled and I laughed as I struggled to unravel his frame from mine. 
“Weren’t you the one who promised a surprise date?” I reminded him and saw his eyes instantly light back up as a blush slowly appeared on his cheeks. “Do you want that?” He questioned silently and scratched at the back of his neck. I closed the oven and turned to face him with furrowed brows. “Want what? A surprise? Cause that’s kinda why I’m baking these-” “I meant the date. Did you want it to be a date? Because if you don’t then that’s fine too.” He cut me off with nerves lacing his words. 
“Yeah. I would love that. Why did you think I would say no?” I questioned with a matching blush on my face. “Well you just, you kinda rejected me up front when I tried to kiss you so.” I looked down in embarrassment before taking Mal’s advice from earlier. “I was just scared.” I paused and looked up to meet his eyes before continuing, “I really like you, Joon. I just didn’t want to get my hopes up by kissing you if you didn’t feel the same.” I played with my fingers anxiously as I waited for his response. He smiled largely before finally breaking the silence. “You don’t have to be scared, Moonlight. Cause I really like you too.”
When I finished up the cupcakes we packed them up and walked hand in hand to our date. I was giddy as we swung our hands between our bodies. When we stopped in front of the Hideout I was confused. “Is this your surprise? Making me another coffee at 10 PM?” I questioned him but he didn’t respond. He unlocked the door and held it open for me. I narrowed my eyes at his smug smile and walked into the dark shop. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the shop and looked around in confusion.
“Joon, I appreciate the effort but I-” I stopped speaking as the shop was suddenly lit up by the few strands of fairy lights in the corner by the reading area. I gasped at the sight. Instead of shelves of books and pillows, there were large, comfy blankets covering the entire section with Namjoon standing at the entrance holding a laptop. “I know it’s not much but I just thought it would be cute or that you would like it cause I remembered how much you liked it over here last time.” I walked up to meet him at the entrance with a large smile on my face. He looked nervous again and I couldn’t understand why. 
“It’s perfect, Joon. Thank you.” I leaned in to punctuate my statement with a short kiss before pulling back the blanket behind him to crawl into the makeshift fort. He entered a few seconds after me and settled on my right side before opening his laptop. While the shelves of books were covered on the outside of the fort, the interior was filled with the sight of them. The soft glow of the string lights and comfort of the pillows and blankets set the perfect environment for reading and I darted my eyes across the different titles in awe. 
“You there, Moonlight?” Namjoon called out and I shifted my gaze onto him easily. I raised my eyebrows and turned to face him, not realizing he had been calling for me. “I asked what movie you wanted to watch.” I felt my face flush for the millionth time that night and bit my lip as I debated on what I should answer. “Could we maybe read something instead?” I spoke hesitantly but the grin on his face as he shut his laptop eased my fears. “Whatever you want.” I smiled and grabbed the familiar title on my left. 
“Have you read this before?” I asked softly. He shook his head but never lost the small grin on his lips or diverted his eyes from mine. “Well it’s a personal favorite of mine, so get ready to experience literary genius.” I moved to get more comfortable and ended up laying on Namjoon’s chest while his hands played with my hair. 
“Chapter one.”
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“Are you even listening to the story?” I questioned accusingly. Namjoon smiled innocently despite being caught staring at the side of my face for the third time in the past ten minutes. Meeting up after closing had become a routine for the two of us. He would meet me at the bakery and ‘help’ me bake something for the night ahead. Usually we get to the Hideout and read after eating a bit and get through at least a chapter or two before he distracts me with kisses or tickles. Tonight, however, Namjoon was dead set on staring into the side of my face laying on his chest. “Of course I’m listening, Moonlight. Why’d you stop?” He smirked and I rolled my eyes with a sigh before continuing.
“As he looked into her eyes he saw nothing but pain and sorrow. The guilt he felt consumed him but he had no choice. He turned away as he heard her choke out a heart wrenching sob-” I was cut off by Namjoon kissing me for the fifth time that night. I giggled lightly against his lips but made sure to keep my spot in our book. “Joon, it’s been four days and we’re still only on chapter 10 of 45. As much as I love your kisses, we need to actually read the book in order to finish it.” He moved his lips to my left cheek and down my jawline as I spoke.
I lightly pushed his head away and playfully glared at him while he pouted. “But it’s so sad. Honestly, I don’t know why she keeps going back to him and shit when he only hurts her. Guilty or not, he’s still fucked for cheating on her like that.” He reached for a leftover cupcake in the box next to him while I grinned. He let out a low moan as he took a bite and I felt my body ignite with heat. “Fuck, these are always so amazing. I can’t believe you don’t sell them anymore.” He spoke with his mouth partially full and I rolled my eyes at his boyish behavior.
“I’ve told you a million times, I can’t sell something without a name.” He threw his head back with a groan and I laughed at his frustration. “Well let’s come up with something then. It’s better than reading about heartbreak.” I sat up from my spot on his chest and faced him fully. “It needs a catchy name, that’s for sure. It also needs to hint at the surprise inside.” He licked the stray frosting around his mouth as he spoke animatedly. I took in the appearance of the man in front of me. He was in some basic sweatpants and a hoodie since after night two we had decided it was best to change into more comfortable clothes to read after closing.
“The surprise inside?” I laughed, “What, do you mean the filling?” He rolled his eyes and waved his hand in dismissal. “You know what I mean. You’re just not expecting it but it's a good surprise for sure.” His explanation brought a memory to mind.  
Sitting innocently on top of my dresser was a little note with his messy scrawl reading ‘Gotcha ;)’ 
“Gotcha.” I spoke quietly with a smile, remembering the first prank he had pulled on me so long ago. “What?” He questioned innocently, taking another bite of the cupcake in his hand while his free one came to rest on my thigh. “Gotcha. That’s what I’m naming it.” He furrowed his brow in confusion and tilted his head slightly to the side. He was silent for a bit before looking at me with hope and excitement. “Why?” He asked with fake confusion, but the giddy smile forming on his face revealed his true intentions. I smiled and sighed loudly before looking away dramatically. “I guess because it reminds me of the time a loser stole all my underwear and left me a note saying that on top of my dresser.” He laughed loudly and I turned to look at the sight of his bright eyes crinkled at the sides and his prominent dimples. 
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” He spoke softly with a look of fondness on his face. I flushed and looked down at the hand on my thigh that was rubbing soft circles. “Be my girlfriend.” I moved my head up so quickly I thought my neck would snap. “What?” I spoke in shock. “I don’t want someone else to be with you. And I really don’t want to be with anyone other than you. I know we’ve never really put an official label on anything but fuck it. So, will you?” He looked nervous but his eyes showed nothing but honesty.
“About damn time.” I spoke after releasing a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. I grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. I was smiling widely but he didn’t mind as he moved his hand from my thigh to my waist. Our kisses turned heated as his tongue brushed across the seam of my lips urgently. I pulled back and leaned in to whisper in his ear, “I think you were right about movies. They make great background noise for making out.” His breath hitched and I watched as he fumbled for his laptop. I giggled and straddled his lap as he furiously typed in his password for Netflix.
I lightly feathered kisses onto his jaw and down his neck. I felt the vibrations as he groaned at my actions. “Fuck, how have you only been kissed for the first time last week?” I let out a breathy laugh as I sat up from my slightly hunched form. “I think I got the basics down pretty quickly thanks to my teacher. But I think I’m ready to learn something else from them.”  His eyes darkened and before I knew it I was being rolled onto my back as the opening sounds from Avengers: Infinity War played in the background.
“Babygirl, I’ll teach you anything you want to know.” He smirked as he started moving down my body.
I was sure the smile on my face would become permanent after how long it had been painted on. We didn’t go all the way but we definitely made some progress on my lessons. I was laying on the blanketed floor with Namjoon resting on my chest. I was wearing his hoodie and my sleep shorts from earlier while he was left in his sweatpants and a bare chest. I was looking at the soft lights around me while my hand was playing with the messy curls tickling my chin. The sounds of the Avengers battling Thanos in Wakanda paired with Namjoon’s soft snores was lulling me to sleep slowly but surely. 
I knew we would both regret sleeping on the hard floor of the Hideout in the morning, but
at the moment I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, ready to fall asleep when a notification sounded from the laptop. I turned slightly to see what it was but suddenly felt all possibility of sleep and tiredness drain from my body. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions but I had to try and make sense of what I saw.
GM<3: i miss you:(
I tried to calm myself before overreacting. It could be a relative or someone close to him. He just told me earlier how wrong cheating was. He wouldn’t do thi- Another notification sounded and effectively cut off my racing thoughts. I felt more confident in the situation as I looked at the incoming text but it’s contents only made me feel sick.
GM<3: when are you coming over again? 
GM<3: please say soon:( you left pretty quick the other night
GM<3: i love you, talk soon <3
I felt tears threatening to spill and was confused. I thought of every possible explanation but none of them were innocent or made any sense. I was hurt. I was angry. But mostly, I was numb. The thought I was dreading the most kept circling my mind. I didn’t want to believe it but it made too much sense.
You fell for the greatest prank of all. You believed he actually felt anything for you.
I felt hot tears fall down my face while one word played on a loop in my head. A heartbreaking lullaby played like a broken record.
Gotcha.
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I was frozen. I didn’t move or sleep at all that night. My body ached from the hard floor and lack of movement but all I focused on was the heartache and racing thoughts that hadn’t seized through the night. The sun started to rise and I took it as my cue to leave and head to my shop. I carefully moved and tried to remove myself from Namjoon’s tight grip on my hips. I freed myself eventually and felt hot tears welling up in my eyes. I grabbed my clothes from the day before along with my other belongings and headed to the front door.
I placed my hand on the door handle and hesitated. Talk to him. “Let yourself have something good”. I turned to look at his frame under the dim glow of the rising sun and felt the lump in my throat grow. I forced myself to look away and walk out the door before I could change my mind. I made it to the front door of my shop before breaking down and crying. I told you so. 
I wiped my tears and stood up straight before unlocking the door and walking in, determined to bottle it up and not talk about it. The faster I avoided Kim Namjoon and everything involving him, the better. I silently worked throughout the day with a tight smile and locked my phone up in the storage area so I wouldn’t see any missed calls or texts. Mal could sense something was up but didn’t push me. 
As the clock moved closer to closing time I panicked. He was surely going to come by to walk us back to his shop. “Hey, Mal? I just remembered I have to head back to my place early tonight. Do you mind closing up for me?” I spoke with a shaky voice and Mal’s questioning glance almost broke my act. “Of course. Just take care of yourself.” She spoke sincerely and I let out a breath of relief at her words. I threw off my apron and grabbed my belongings again before heading home. Namjoon would probably try to get me to read the book with him but I couldn’t face him. I walked quickly past the Hideout and his apartment before collapsing into my bed. I made sure to lock my front door and bedroom door for extra precaution.
I screamed into my pillow as I sobbed. 
This routine went on for the next three days. I started leaving my phone at my apartment after it died. I didn’t have the energy to look at it or charge it to see the messages I had waiting for me. I opened my door at 5 AM to start my new routine of avoiding Namjoon. I was fearful that he might try to come into my shop during the day but so far he hadn’t. That fear came back like a crashing wave, however, as I heard a body fall onto the floor of my apartment when I opened the front door to leave. 
A tired looking Namjoon stood quickly and sighed in relief as he saw me. He reached out to hold my face as he spoke, “Fuck, Moonlight, I’m so glad you’re okay. You haven’t responded to my texts or been at the shop when I stopped by and I was so fucking worried.” He leaned in to kiss me and I pushed his hands off me. He looked confused at my actions but I looked away as anger and hurt filled me.
“Maybe that was for a reason.” I mumbled out as I crossed my shaking hands around my frame. “What? Moon, what’s wrong?” He reached for my hand again and I turned around to walk into my apartment. I heard the door close softly and his quiet footsteps following me. “Baby, you need to let me know-” I spun around at the pet name and pointed shakily at him. “No. You don’t get to call me that. You don’t get to hear about my life or what’s bothering me because it’s you. You’re the problem for me. You need to just stop. Stop kissing me and holding my hand and looking at me like I’m the only girl in your eyes and just making me feel like I’m actually worth something to you. Stop.” I was angry. The tears flowed freely down my face and my hand fell to my side as I finished my words.
Namjoon looked down and shook his head before looking back at me. “Moon, I don’t know what I did but all of that is never going to stop. I never want to stop kissing you or holding your hand or showing you how I really feel about you. You are the only girl in my eyes-” I cut him off with a scoff “Bullshit! How can you just lie like that. I saw the texts that night Namjoon. You fell asleep and when you did you got some texts from another girl. Congratulations, you win. Once again you’ve utterly broken me.”
“What texts? There is no other girl, I promise you. Please, I never meant to hurt you, especially like this.” He was starting to tear up and his voice broke as he finished but I stood my ground. “And I would’ve believed you if I hadn’t seen the texts for myself. I hope you and ‘GM’ are happy together because it seems like you two made it longer than a few hours since you’re already in love.” He scrunched his face up at my words. “Wait. Hold on. GM?” He breathed out a laugh as he spoke. His words cut me like a knife. 
“So you used me and cheated on me and can’t even try to act serious about it? Fuck you, Namjoon.” I moved to walk past him and into my bedroom but he grabbed my arm before I could. “Wait, Moon, no. My sister’s name is Geong Min. That’s who you saw text me that night. I’m telling you the truth, you’re the only girl for me.” He turned my body to face him as he spoke with a small smile. 
I furrowed my eyebrows at his confession. “You have a sister? Wait, why did she ask you to come over and say that you left quick the last time?” He smiled largely as he spoke. “I went to her place the night I set up the Hideout for us because I had to borrow her blankets and lights. And I also needed her advice on if the date was even a good idea.” I sighed and hugged him close to me. “I’m a fucking idiot, I’m so sorry, Joon.” 
He held me against him tightly and moved us side to side. “You’ve always been more than enough for me. You are worth so much to me and to everyone you come into contact with. I know it’s scary to have these feelings, because, Moon, I’m fucking terrified too. But I promise you that you’re all I want. I never want to hurt you and I never want to see us like that again. You’re more than worth it, Moon.” He pulled us slightly apart as he looked into my eyes for his final words and I felt tears welling up again as I smiled.
“You deserve better than someone who can’t love you back the way you need to be. I’ve never felt like this and I know it’s too soon to say I’m in love with you but I know for a fact that I’m falling.” I spoke softly. He smiled and leaned down to press his forehead against mine while I closed my eyes. “Ask me, Moonlight.” He whispered. “Ask me to teach you how to be loved.” He pressed his lips to my forehead then moved down to press a kiss to each cheek and the tip of my nose before pulling back to look in my eyes and wait for my answer.
He returned the smile that grew on my face and laughed as he leaned down to kiss me properly after I spoke softly,“Teach me how to be loved, Joon.” 
And he did.
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nbrook29 · 3 years
Text
love you to the moon and to saturn
This is part 4 of my Sander in NYC ‘verse. I posted it on ao3, but recently I’ve also been posting my fics on tumblr so here it is 😌
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 
Warnings: mild sexual content
* * *
Saturday, 10:00
His sleep was anxious, mind too preoccupied with stress to allow him to get a proper rest. The wake up was even worse as mere seconds after he blinked the sleep away from his tired eyes the memories of last night crept back in, flooding him with worry and making his brain replay the argument over and over again like a broken cassette. And then he checked his phone only to find a string of messages and missed calls, all from Sander, causing his stomach to twist with nerves at what they were going to say. 
His abrupt leaving had been a dick move and if Sander was pissed, Robbe knew he couldn’t blame him. So he stalled, finger barely swiping at the screen as he was unsure whether to unlock it and face the consequences or maybe throw the phone back on his bedside table and bury himself under the covers to wait for his courage to come back and for his nerves to settle.
Heaving a sigh, he chose option number one because it was the only rational one. 
He tapped Sander’s photo, holding his breath without even registering it.
Two seconds later he knew.
He didn’t need to worry.
 Sunday 13:00
Robbe hides another smile into his glass at the thought of yesterday’s evening, trying to focus on what Marie is saying. She’s talking animatedly about a guy she met at her new internship, hearts almost flowing out of her eyes as she swoons on the wooden stool and sips her black coffee. She’s the kind of girl who falls in love quickly and falls out of love just as quick. Across from where he’s sitting, he sees Fien and Lucas rolling their eyes at her exaggerated lovesick sighes making him snort in his marshmallow latte.
“Weren’t you obsessed with that lanky guy from Starbucks last week? What happened to him?”
Marie shrugs, tossing her long brown hair back from her shoulders. “I decided he was too old for me.”
“Didn’t you say he was 21?” Robbe interjects with amusement, remembering their group messenger chat he caught up with this morning.
“Exactly!” 
They all start bickering about the appropriate age difference in relationships, Robbe watching them as he munches happily on one of the soggy marshmallows he fished out from his cup, trying not to giggle at Lucas’ scandalized face at Marie calling 21 old. Robbe knows from the many stories Lucas has shared so far that his own boyfriend is a senior at college so his reaction is even more entertaining because of that.
It feels good to be around them again, Robbe thinks to himself. He’s been canceling on them way too often those last few weeks and he still feels guilty about it. They’re a fun bunch, their bantery dynamic established since day one when they all chose the middle row to sit in during their morning classes, and then promptly spent half of it bonding over the outrageous occurrence that was the absence of a coffee shop on the campus. Not long after, Robbe also discovered that apart from the passion for filmmaking, they all also like skateboarding. After that, the rest was history.
They were for sure a nice distraction from Robbe’s intrusive thoughts in the beginning of the semester. He lucked out, finding his group, his people, so early on in his college journey. But at some point even their goofiness and honest attempts at cheering him up weren’t enough. Not since the news from Sander came that he’s staying in New York until February and since the thing with Jens.
Now, observing them from over his half-drunk coffee, lips twitching at some of the more creative but still lowkey insults Marie and Lucas throw at each other, he realizes he has really missed them. They’re like siblings, the two of them, constantly bickering and teasing one another, but it’s all good-natured and amusing to watch. 
“Oh my god, let it go, children, for the love of god,” Fien cuts in abruptly, before turning her big expectant eyes on Robbe, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger and adding innocently, “I’d finally like to hear about Sobbe’s makeup.”
Heat rushes to Robbe’s cheeks and he scratches at the back of his neck, bashful all of a sudden. She’s the number one fangirl of his relationship, he has learned recently, but in a cute way, not creepy like Aaron sometimes used to be with his invasive questions. She always moans about being forever single, pouting at Robbe for some fluffy snippets and claiming in faux-seriousness that he owes it to the world to share them with others for being lucky enough to have a fairytale-like love story. 
Robbe has never disclosed to them how unfairytale-like some of the details are because it’s not his story to tell. But he really likes her so he always indulges her, usually after a bit of teasing. And, sue him, but he’s proud of his relationship and the fact that he of all people can call Sander his boyfriend, so even if he brags a little, he thinks he has good reasons for it. 
(He’s still kinda smug when he thinks about the time when he showed the three of them a photo of Sander, a pleased little smile on his face at their reactions and playful threats of stealing him for themselves.)
“Oh yeah, I wanna know too,” Marie agrees excitedly, scooting her chair closer to him. “You’ve been all smiley ever since you came over here so I’m guessing that hottie of yours did something right,” she ends on a teasing note, her waggling eyebrows leaving Robbe no doubts she expects some saucy details.
“Oh my god, stop,” he groans as he hides his face in his hands, his friends giggling at his embarrassment. “It wasn’t like that! We just… finally talked things out.”
 Saturday, 18:00 (flashback to last night)
Robbe’s been gnawing on his bottom lip relentlessly, completely unaware, to the point it’s a few bites away from drawing blood. He can’t help but feel nervous, the cursor hovering over the 'accept' button as he's rolling his eyes on himself internally, telling himself to stop making a bigger deal out of this that it needs to be. There is a bit of embarrassment clouding his logical reasoning to be honest, embarrassment about his overreaction last night.
Was it an overreaction? He's still not completely sure, but it's not like avoiding the situation is going to magically fix everything between them. Even though he'd really like that. It feels so awkward to be in this position. Robbe doesn't know what the protocol here is. They bicker, quite often even. Fight a little too, stomping off out of each other’s room grumpily but only over stupid stuff, nothing like this.
He's walking on an unknown ground just hoping he's not going to make things worse. He desperately needs their dynamic back because he's already over it. 
Not being able to share the most mundane every day stuff with each other over texts to joke about it, rile the other up or just vent about something stupid like their coffees not being hot enough on a given rainy morning sucks.
So he takes a deep breath and clicks on the button before he works himself into a never-ending second-guessing.
When Sander says a soft hi and smiles at him with the usual warmth in his eyes, something akin to relief courses through him from head to toe. 
He gives him his own tentative smile and a short hi, pushing himself higher against the pillows. Before Sander can say anything more, he lets go of what has been weighing down on him the entire day.
“I’m sorry,” he starts, contrite. “About yesterday. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just logged off like that without explanation. And then ignore your messages,” he adds after a pause because that’s what he feels most guilty about. He knows he’d freak out if Sander just cut him off without giving him an opportunity to talk things out, would worry himself sick. 
Sander looks conflicted, brows knitted together, like a part of him wants to reassure Robbe because it's in his nature, but the other part is genuinely hurt. Robbe doesn't want compassion. Not for that, because he knows he doesn’t deserve it. Causing Sander distress is the last thing he wants.
"Yeah, it did suck," he finally admits after a moment passes, and Robbe finds comfort in his honesty. It’s a good start. They won’t get anywhere with false niceties and pretending everything’s fine. Robbe tried pretending, yesterday and most of their calls before that, and it got them where they are now.
“I mean, I know you didn’t want to talk about your problems yesterday,” pausing, he scrunches up his nose a bit, “but maybe next time just don’t log off so abruptly so I know you’re okay?” his voice tilts on a hopeful note.
Robbe just nods, feeling shameful, hating that there’s not much more that he can do when he’s talking to him through his computer, and can’t exactly reach out to cuddle up to Sander’s side or kiss the underside of his jaw as a silent apology to then stay close for the rest of the evening as they heal together. 
It’s frustrating and disheartening, but it affects them both the same amount and Robbe needs to remember that. Because the truth is, Sander didn’t exactly give him a legitimate reason to doubt him or to think he didn’t miss him. Those full of hurt eyes Sander gave him yesterday at the suggestion have been eating away at him all day.
Robbe just got swallowed by his own insecurities and let the little things that bothered him consume him all instead of, well. Communicating.
Sander was right yesterday. Of course he was.
He knows he has some more apologies to give.
“I’m also sorry for not telling you earlier how I felt,” he keeps pouring his heart out, “and for, you know, assuming you don’t miss me much, and-”
“Woah, hey,” Sander stops him before he can get himself deeper into the spiral. “Robbe, I fucked up too, don’t take it all on yourself.” He adjusts his laptop and Robbe can see his face clearer now, his eyes bloodshot and tired, a clear sign of a sleepless night, and the guilt clogs his throat even more now.
“I should have seen something wasn’t right.” When Robbe shakes his head and goes back to apologizing, Sander shoots him a pointed look that makes him shut up. “I should have, don’t deny it. You know, I took a long walk yesterday after you hung up, to clear my head, but also to get a perspective on our latest talks. And I felt so dumb for not realizing you were not doing okay.”
“Sander, I don’t expect you to read my mind,” Robbe tries to joke, but it falls flat even in his own ears. But he can’t bear those big regretful eyes on him. He doesn't deserve them.
“Baby, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you the way you needed me to. Please tell me now? What’s been bothering you, hmm?” 
Robbe scrubs his face trying to collect his thoughts, to find a concise way to get everything out of his chest, but he doesn’t know where to start.
“It may take a while.”
Sander makes a show of fluffing the pillow he placed against his back and getting himself more comfortable on his bed, sighing with contentment for a better effect. 
“Look, I’m in my comfy clothes, got an energy drink on my nightstand, the computer battery is full and I told everyone I’m busy so they won’t nag me with anything. I’m all yours today.” He gives him an encouraging smile, fondness etched into every crevice of his face.
Robbe’s heart does a little skip at his words, Sander’s demeanor so comforting that he feels the last pieces of apprehension ebbing away, the need to vent overpowering the hesitation of showing his vulnerability. 
“I think I just found myself overwhelmed with some things,” he admits quietly, picking at his nail, an absent-minded habit when he’s nervous, as he’s trying to find the right words. “A lot has changed in those last few months, almost all at once, and I kinda have trouble coping. And like,” he scoffs at himself, “I’m angry with myself ‘cause I should be enjoying most of it, being in college and majoring in something that I actually like, and it’s great, but I can’t help but focus on all the things that are different now, things that are not so great.”
Before continuing, he flicks his gaze to Sander for a second, only to then cast his eyes back to his lap. “The last two years with you were the happiest of my life, you know? After years of bullshit and constant misery and pretending to be somebody I wasn’t I-,” he sighs, bittersweet smile on his lips,”I finally found my person, you know?”
Sander mirrors his smile, but he’s frowning a little. “But you still have me,” he reminds him softly.
“I know, but it sucks when I can’t just, I don’t know, snuggle up you and forget about stuff. It’s all your fault, by the way, you’ve been too good to me and now I have withdrawal symptoms,” he pouts, and hears Sander chuckling on the other side of the screen.
“You have no idea how much I wish virtual hugs were a thing. And kisses, oh my god, kisses too. I’m so kiss-deprived. Once I finally get my hands on you, I won’t let you go for a week.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
For a short moment, Sander manages to bring a genuine smile on his face, but it quickly disappears when the reality sets back in. There are still almost four long months to get through. He watches Sander’s smile slipping off his face slowly and he knows they’re both thinking about it.
The boy sighs deeply. “You know, sometimes I feel like it was a mistake to-”
Robbe’s eyes snap to him. “No, no, no, don’t think that, it wasn’t a mistake. Please don’t feel guilty or something, that’s the last thing I want you to do,” he stresses. Sander still looks conflicted, and fuck, this is exactly what Robbe wanted to avoid.
“Hey, I’m serious. Look, you not being here is tough, but like I said, it’s just things piling up, changing. Shit like school work that has been piling up and me getting so stressed about the end-of-the-semester project because I still haven’t figured out the details. Plus people moving away, all of that makes it difficult for me to adjust. So don’t go thinking it’s because you’re the center of my universe or something,” he ends his rambling with a feigned-offended huff and Sander easily lets them slip into their usual banter.
“I’m not?! Wow, the things a guy finds out after being such a devoted and doting and loving boyfriend.” He wipes the imaginary tear, letting out a long-suffering sigh. “Such a menace, breaking my heart in half on this lovely Saturday afternoon.” He purses his lips in offence and Robbe is grateful for Sander’s attempt to lift the mood, trying to be upbeat.
He feels a tug in his chest thinking about how if Sander was here, he’d be tackling him to the nearest surface to shut him up with tickles and loud smooches and playful jabs in the sides and how they would make much more noise than necessary, acting like the rambunctious teens they are.
That’s going to have to wait too. But he discovers this thought doesn’t hurt as much as it would have yesterday because their conversation right now, this opportunity to vent and Sander’s texts last night, all of it makes him feel better, helps him see he’s not alone.
“I love you,” he blurts out all of a sudden, and it’s something he’s wanted to say since he read his heartfelt texts this morning that almost made him cry in relief.
Sander blinks a couple times, surprised, but then his previously playful face melts into such a fond look it makes Robbe blush like it was the first time he said it.
The I love you too comes right away, soft and quiet, like he’s telling a secret, and it’s heart-stoppingly precious.
To keep himself from drowning in fuzzy feelings, he shoots him a private little smile and steers the conversation back to his friends, telling him how it sucks that it’s they all now live away and how unexpectedly difficult it is to meet up. Robbe’s used to basically having everyone at arm-reach.
“We do video call, obviously, but you know, Milan is all loved up with Ralph in Amsterdam and not that keen on leaving their love nest and Zoe and Senne keep traveling between Genk and Ghent, which with Zoe’s coursework and internship is already a struggle. I don’t think they’re doing that well, actually,” he winces, remembering their last conversation.
If during freshman year somebody had told Robbe who his best friends were going to be, he’d looked at them as if they had grown two heads. Because for real, Jana’s new friend and her roommate? And school’s fuckboy? 
But life’s funny like that sometimes. Moving into their apartment in his sophomore year has been one of the best decisions he’s ever made. His number one best decision is currently frowning at him from his dirty screen.
“Oh, that sucks. Do you think they’ll work it out?” 
Robbe sighs deeply, propping his chin on the heel of his palm. “Senne has been thinking about finding a job in Genk so I hope so.”
Sander huffs a laugh suddenly, shaking his head. “Wow, I wish I was in his place and there were only 2 hours between us, instead of a whole ass ocean.”
“Yeah, I think once you’re back we’re gonna have a master's degree in that long distance bullshit,” Robbe smiles at him wistfully. 
“Ugh, never again though. You’re not getting rid of me, it sucks without you, Robin.” He sounds so grumpy Robbe can’t help the short giggle that escapes him, but deep down he’s happy they both share that sentiment.
They’re staring at each other now, enjoying the moment before Sander shoots him a knowing look. “You haven’t mentioned Jens.”
That sobers him up enough for the fuzzy feelings to disappear from his stomach. 
Jens. There’s not much to talk about really. And isn’t that a punch-in-a gut kind of truth considering it was his best friend? Isn’t it heartbreaking that Robbe didn’t even feel like fighting for that relationship and there’s a nagging voice in his head telling him that Jens didn’t either? Just a regular heated argument was enough to finally cut that last string, to put a stop to a friendship that had been hanging by a thread long before. Not that they had noticed.
He felt awful, afterwards. More alone than ever before. But deep down he knew it had only been a matter of time. He just wished Sander had been there to pick up the pieces.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Robbe winces, going back to apologizing once he translates his feelings to words the best he can, hoping he made Sander understand.
The boy pulls a face at him, eyes narrowed as he pretends to give him a stern look. “Enough with apologizing today, okay?” He waits until Robbe nods, albeit begrudgingly, because it’s in his second nature to keep saying sorry when he knows he messed up.
He nestles against his pillows to get more comfortable as he glances to the window, registering that sometime during their call it got completely dark outside, November days getting shorter still. He can feel tiredness starting to creep into his bones, the nervous anticipation before their call he had endured all day wearing him down significantly. 
There are still some things he needs to get out of his chest and Sander coaxes them gently one by one, listening to him moaning and groaning about his school course load and how he thinks he’s not skilled enough to come up with interesting ideas and being quick to cut him off and reassure him when Robbe’s words get self-deprecating. He’s so attentive and so patient with him, not even an ounce of judgement in his eyes that Robbe feels the pressure and stress that have accumulated over the last few weeks finally letting go with each word he pours out.
When the conversation eventually steers to Robbe’s uni friends and he admits sheepishly that he kinda ghosted them lately, feeling too blue to go out and have fun, Sander interrupts him mid-sentence.
“You should reach out to them, tonight.”
At Robbe’s unsure look, he continues, “If they’re as cool as you made them out to be, I’m sure they’re gonna understand you needed some time to figure things out.”
He then proceeds to cover his ears and whistle, refusing to talk more until Robbe caves and shoots a text to the group chat, trying to keep it short, but explaining things along the way and making amends. Sander’s very pleased with his persuasion skills, beaming at him when Robbe reads him the replies he gets from Lucas, Marie and Fien, wearing a small smile himself as he rolls his eyes at Sander’s smug face. 
Sander then asks about his mom and it’s so sweet because he always makes sure to ask, and Robbe falls for him even more each time he does. He’s a bit reluctant when Robbe tries to make him talk about his recent days, keeps saying this call is not about him, but he gives in before Robbe gets upset about it.
Watching his eyes light up with excitement when he talks about his classes works like a balm for Robbe’s yearning heart, Sander’s genuine happiness making his own struggles worth it. It’s a nice reminder that he’s there to make his dreams come true and that it’s everything Robbe has wished for him.
When Sander talks about shenanigans with his friends, Robbe recalls the TikTok video he watched some days ago.
“Nice Michael Jackson moves, by the way,” he comments, trying to sound innocent, but it ends up coming out a little coyishly as he bites at his finger to hide his smirk. 
Confusion clouds Sander’s face but only for a second. Then, his lips stretch in a wide grin and he looks very pleased with the confession. “Have you been stalking me, Robin?”
Robbe shrugs, a picture of innocence as he keeps peeking at him from under his lashes. “I might’ve seen a video or two. They’re all so thirsty for you in the comments though,” he adds, putting a note of faux-jealousy in his voice. He quickly noticed that Sander’s new uni friend is semi-popular on the app so his videos always get a fair share of comments. Ever since Sander appeared in them, the hoard of the guy’s fans has been declaring their love for Robbe’s boyfriend under every video. They mostly make him laugh, but sometimes he’ll roll his eyes at some of the raunchier ones, possessiveness that he didn’t know he had activating in his brain.
He waits for Sander’s cocky comment, but to his utter delight, he blushes deep red and scoffs.
“Shut up, it’s so embarrassing,” hiding his face in his hands, he adds, “All of my friends have been teasing me about it constantly.”
“Aww, poor you, being fawned over must be such a hardship, how do you cope?”
“Oh I don’t know, smartass, you can tell me from experience ‘cause I saw those comments under your old vlogs.” 
Robbe huffs a laugh. “They were nowhere near as detailed as yours!”
“What can I say, I’m irresistible,” Sander quips back and yeah, there he is, Robbe’s favorite (cocky) dork. “If I’d known you’re my TikTok fan, I’d have sent you those videos right away so you wouldn’t have to waste your time searching for them."
Robbe sighs. “They are a nice window to your life there,” he replies offhandedly, not even registering the implied double meaning to his words, but the immediate change in Sander’s amused expression makes him aware of the slip.
Fuck. 
“So you noticed. That I’ve been texting you less.”
Robbe drops his gaze, pulling the cover further up his body, feeling awkward again. He doesn’t want to make a big deal out of this.
Sander shifts on his bed, scratching at his head. “I felt like I was too much, you know? I wanted to share every silly thing with you, but then, well, it was something Josh said that I should,” he waves vaguely trying to find the right words, “cut back on my ‘running commentary’ ‘cause it’s probably annoying.”
“Tell Josh he’s stupid,” Robbe cuts in with a huff, grumpily beating his pillow into submission to make it more comfortable. 
The corners of Sander’s mouth twitch at his comment, but his face remains sheepish. “I think he was mostly joking, but it got stuck in my mind and made me question every message. In the end, I didn’t send like half of them,” he explains softly, voice colored with poorly hidden self-consciousness. “I didn’t want to give you the impression I don't have time for you, I’m sorry.”
And, fuck. They’re both idiots.
Sander’s brows shoot up when Robbe bursts into giggles out of the blue, clearly surprised with the reaction. But at this point, it feels like the only proper thing to do.
“So basically we could have avoided this whole bullshit if we just talk about all this sooner,” he groans at the realization, burying half on his face in his pillow to hide his heated face because he’s a little embarrassed he blew things out of proportion.
There’s a visible relief on Sander’s face too, eyes crinkling as he regards him with a dopey grin, and Robbe knows.
They’re gonna be fine. 
“Here I thought we were masters of communication,” Sander sighs with a faux-disappointment, leaning back to smile at the ceiling. “Fuck, no more of assuming shit, what do you think?”
And that sounds like something Robbe can get behind one hundred percent, more than ready to leave their misunderstandings in the past and just do better. So he nods, chin digging into his collarbone uncomfortably with the position he’s lying in, but it doesn’t matter, he’s too preoccupied with staring at his happy face and swimming in his fuzzy feelings.
“Prepare yourself for an onslaught of photos and messages, I’m not messing around,” Sander warns, smiling at Robbe’s soft okay. “You know, just a few days ago I ended up at Pebble Beach, it was cold as all fucks, but the view was just,” he imitates an explosion over his head and Robbe giggles at his childlike enthusiasm. Then, Sander’s face softens and becomes a little sad. “That place is so romantic that it made me feel like shit without you there,” he sighs, and Robbe can relate. “I’ll take you there one day.”
“You’re gonna take me to New York?” Robbe asks, doubt lacing his voice as he cocks his brow which makes Sander scoff in indignance.
“Hell yeah! You don’t believe me? What do you think I’m doing here everyday? I’m scouting the best places for dates, finding the best skateparks and checking out all the museums so I can be the perfect guide for you!” Sander throws his hands, a duh expression on his face, but there’s a wide smile brewing on his lips letting Robbe know he’s not really offended or anything. And, honestly, Robbe just melts with his words.
“I can’t wait, baby,” he sighs dreamily, rubbing his cheek against his pillow as he gazes at him with what he’s sure is the softest look. 
Sander narrows his eyes playfully from above the can of Redbull he’s been sipping on. “Don’t ever doubt I’m gonna go out of my way to impress you.” 
Robbe blows him a kiss that morphs into a huge yawn, eyelids growing heavy, forcing him to blink repeatedly to stay away which prompts Sander to tease him a little about boring him, but it quickly dies out and he’s just looking at him fondly.
“You should go to sleep.” He ignores Robbe’s melodic neeees, giving him a stern look that was probably supposed to be intimidating, but he looks too amused to keep it up. Once Robbe gets his promise they will see each other tomorrow, Sander sends him several virtual kisses and goodnights before logging off.
Robbe falls asleep with Sander’s beaming face flowing through his mind.
The sleep that comes is unsurprisingly the calmest he’s had in weeks.
 Sunday, 18:00
Sander: And?
Robbe: And what?
Sander: Was I right?
Robbe: About?
Sander: About your friends
Robbe: Kinda
Sander: So it means I was 😎
Robbe: :):):) yes
Sander: Thank you sander
Robbe: Thank you sander 
Sander: See, you're so precious everybody's in love with you and forgive you in seconds 
Robbe: 🙄 
Robbe: Precious srsly?
Sander: So precious 🥰
Robbe: Omg
Sander: Haha
Robbe: We're good 😊
Robbe: But I don't think they are in love with me 😂
Sander: They better not be 🤨 I'll fight them all! 🗡💀🧟🤺
Robbe: Dork ❤
Robbe: I think they a little bit in love with u though 🤔 
Robbe: They've been babbling all afternoon about how cute you are 🙄
Robbe: A g a i n *yawn*
Sander: They have good taste 🤷♂️
Robbe: Nah they just don't know your annoying habits so that's why
Sander: 😮 I don't have any how dare you badmouthing me like that
Robbe: 🥴
Robbe: You never wash your coffee cups right away so they lay around
Robbe: You always tickle me when you want sth
Robbe: You're full of corny jokes
Robbe: You eat my fries when I don't look 
Robbe: You hog the covers
Robbe: And I still remember that Wednesday when you ate my last bag of chips 💔
Sander: Okay first of all
Sander: Wow
Sander: Don't hold back 🥺
Sander: Second of all
Sander: I THOUGHT THOSE CHIPS WERE MILAN'S I TOLD YOU!!!
Robbe: That's what they all say 💔
Sander: You're unfair, I thought I made up for that lil mistake 🍆
Robbe: Well you did 🙈 but I still remember 😝
Sander: Also you love my jokes
Sander: They're awesome 🤧
Robbe: I'm just messing around 😘😘
Sander: 🥰
Robbe: But I swear to god if I have to listen one more time to Marie waxing lyricals about your 'perfect moles' I'm gonna 🤮
Sander: What haha 😂
Robbe: I mean they are but like
Robbe: Chill girl he's not your man 🤨
Sander: That's right cause I'm your man 😏
Robbe: And don't you forget that
Thursday, 3:48
Soft knuckles brush his skin, body arching into the touch that turns his muscles into jelly and sends liquid fire rushing through him. He’s overheated in the best way possible, seeking out Sander’s tongue, but the boy denies him access, smirk well in place as he pulls back, green eyes cloudy from lust. He’s staring at him like he wants to eat him whole and Robbe almost whimpers, bones melting and lids closing when Sander takes the tender flesh of his neck between his teeth and bites at it ever so gently, but just enough to make Robbe see stars. 
He sighs as he feels a ghost of touch on his nipple, Sander leaving a trail of kisses down his sternum as he’s moving so teasingly slow to his final destination, and he doesn’t even hesitate, spreading his legs wider around Sander’s hips in a blatant invitation, blushing hot pink when Sander sends him a fox-like grin, mouthing at his inner thigh.
The details get fuzzy for a few seconds, Robbe blinking rapidly to get his surroundings and finding himself on top of Sander, and there’s an inkling at the back of his brain telling him something’s messed up about the logistics here. He decides to ignore it, focusing back on the moment and Sander’s glistening, kiss-swollen lips, on his eyes transfixed on the place where they’re connected, and he leans down, his tongue sweeping over his Sander’s bottom lip before he starts pressing soft, spit-slick kisses into his mouth. He pushes Sander’s hands up over his head and intertwines their fingers, arching his back as he takes over, the rush of pleasure almost overwhelming him.
“Ohmygod, Sander,” Robbe breathes into his mouth. His hands are trailing all over Sander’s chest and stomach now, squeezing and rubbing almost like he’s his personal plaything.
It’s not long before Sander’s warm hands draw him back towards his chest, lips ghosting along Robbe’s, teasing, always teasing, but not granting permission to properly meet, making Robbe impatient and whine in desperation only for Sander to grin wickedly at him. He feels nails dragging along his spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake, stopping at his cheeks, massaging them to his heart content while Robbe can only pant, rocking back and forth and biting his bottom lip to keep from coming.
He’s an oversensitive, blissed out mess, trying to keep his eyes open to take a mental snapshot of Sander’s lust-blown pupils as they watch each other, Sander fucking him slowly and punching the prettiest sounds out of Robbe’s mouth.
Hips stuttering, he drops back down on his elbows to crash his lips against Sander’s, feeling his body tensing he’s so close and-
Eyes shot wide open, blinking harshly against the darkness of the room. His first instinct is to reach out to the other side of the bed, snuggle closer to the source of heat lying next to him, but his brain catches up with his hands quickly and he stops himself mid-reach, groaning as he flops back on the bed, disappointed. He kicks his covers down grumpily, letting cold air hit his overheated skin, frustrated and too awake to go to sleep now.
Fuck.
 Thursday, 13:08
*photo attached*
Sander: Good morning x
Robbe: Heeyy sleepyhead 😘
Robbe: You look cute
Sander: I had very interesting dreams last night 
Robbe: Oh yeah? 
Sander: Yeah I'm still affected by them 😏
Robbe: Stop it I'm at a coffee shop with the guys!
Sander: I'll have to tell you about it tonight then 😈
Robbe: Can't wait 😘
Sander: Today at 16 my time right? 
Robbe: Yep :) 
Robbe: You know
Sander: Hmm?
Robbe: I might have some of those dreams too last night
Sander: 🥵🥵🥵
Sander: Do tell
Robbe: 🙈
Sander: Now I’m super intrigued 😈
Robbe: How about I tell you tonight 
Robbe: With details
Robbe: Lots of them
Sander: Tonight can't come fast enough 😩
Sander: Looks like I will though 😏
Robbe: Omg you're such a dork 😂
Sander: Did it get u hot
Robbe: No wtf 😂
Sander: ☹🥺
Sander: Kay
Sander: I have to get up now
Sander: I'm late 🙄
Sander: Robin it's raining I don't wanna go out 😩
Robbe: Haha get your pretty ass out of bed and go be a good student!
Sander: Ugh fine 🙄
Sander: I love you ❤
Robbe: ❤
Sander: Hey no, not an emoji, tell me you love me ☹
Robbe: Haha
Sander: Come on
Robbe: 🤐
Sander: Robbe
Robbe: Gotta go 😌
Sander: Okay then 😔💔
Robbe: I love you too idiot ❤❤❤💯
Sander: Yesss 🥰
Sander: Hey that's my emoji 😏 so you like it after all
Robbe: 😂 go to class!!! 
Sander: I'm going I'm going
Friday, 19:00
Robbe checks his phone for time again, not wanting to be late for his call with Sander, but there’s still about half an hour until he should get going. It’s been a pleasant evening and a while ago he would have never called any time of the day spent with his father ‘pleasant’, but there he is. Enjoying his dinner not only with him but also with his girlfriend of six months that he met in July when the first attempts to salvage the relationship with his dad have been made. 
And it’s all because of Sander. The fact that he’s even here speaks volumes about his skill of persuasion. If it hadn’t been for his boyfriend, Robbe would have continued to stew in his own juices and ignored his dad. 
“How is Sander doing? New York is a jungle.”
Robbe huffs a laugh. “He’s good, he fits in well in the city vibe. But, um, he needs to stay a bit longer, till February actually ‘cause the school postponed the art show.”
He goes for another bite, frown on his face at the mere reminder of the change of plans. 
“You probably hate it, huh?” his father questions. 
His only response is to throw him a duuuh look, making his dad snort.
“You should visit him.”
Robbe looks up from over his spaghetti, expecting to see his dad laughing or winking at him, but both him and Margaux are looking at him with unsuspecting smiles, like the suggestion is the most obvious thing in the world.
He exhales a short dad in a laugh, glancing at them back and forth. “I don’t have a spare several thousand euros lying around waiting to be spent on a trip to New York,” he explains, slight exasperation in his voice. 
“Oh I don’t think you’d need that much, Robbe,” Margaux smiles at him as she puts away her fork and reaches for her phone. “A few months ago I was actually backpacking with my friend through the East Coast and, wait, let me check, I have everything saved on my AirBnB account.”
Robbe gets back to his dinner as she scrolls on her phone, trying to squish the building hope in his chest away because even if it’s cheaper than he thinks, there’s still no way he can afford it; his equipment and books for school have eaten all of his savings.
“There it is! Look,” she scoots her chair closer to him, his dad peeking at the phone from the other side. “We stayed in Brooklyn for 98$ a day for a double bed, in Bedford to be exact and the conditions were really nice, plus the train station was close by. I’m sure you could find something half as cheap since it’s just you and the room can be tiny, just to sleep really.”
“That’s a reasonable price, I think,” his dad joins in, and then proceeds to ask her questions about her other expenditures while in the city and the flight prices, debating whether it’s better to drive to Frankfurt and take a direct flight from there or maybe decide on a layover flight from Brussels. 
They are so into the planning and discussing the best options that they both jump slightly when Robbe speaks again, clearly forgetting he’s sitting right next to them, a picture of confusion. 
“Guys, guys, wait. It doesn’t matter if it’s 1500 euros, or even 1000 euros because that’s still a 1000 euros more than I have to spend on a trip anywhere.” 
His dad is so enthralled into checking different flights that he barely raises his head from above his phone, replying offhandedly, “I’ll pay for it.”
And, okay, no. Robbe gapes at him like he grew two heads, spluttering, because hell no.
“No way, I won’t take your money, dad.”
His vehement tone finally makes his father properly regard him and he sighs after a second. “Robbe, please don’t treat it as an attempt to buy you or your feelings.”
Straight to the point, his dad, always has been. It definitely is one the reasons for his refusal, but it’s not only that.
Robbe takes a deep breath to calm down. “Look, dad, it’s still lots of money. I can’t-”
“I’m many things, but irresponsible with money I’m definitely not. So if I say that I can pay for it, it means that I can afford it and it won’t affect me.” He gives him a pointed look. Before Robbe can argue again, he continues. “We can treat it as your Christmas gift. And next year’s birthday gift. And last two Christmases gifts as well.”
Robbe thinks about the packages he received from his father those holidays, and how he sent them back without even opening. Then, it definitely felt like buying his affection.
“You’ve been doing good at school, got into the university you wanted, you’ve been more responsible those last few years that I could’ve ever asked from you. Then you worked during the summer because you were adamant about paying for school stuff yourself. I think you earn it, Robbe. If you don’t want to go for other reasons, then that’s fine, but if it’s just about the money, please let me give you this.”
“New York is the kind of place everyone should visit at least one,” Margaux says gently. She has a warm smile that immediately made Robbe like her, despite really trying not to for obvious reasons. “And I think Sander would love for you to come visit too.”
Robbe has been torn before she spoke, but the mention of Sander reminds him of their videocall a while back, Sander telling him about places he was going to show him one day, being his guide and taking him to his favorite spots in the city. He can see it all vividly now when the opportunity is at his fingertips, can’t stop the excitement filling his body at the thought of seeing Sander before that dreadful February, even though he’s still now sure what to do.
While he’s been lost in his thoughts, trying to come to some conclusion, Margaux has been typing away at her phone. “Dates around Christmas are very expensive, but what would you say about, let’s say, December 8th? Til December 17th?”
Robbe wouldn’t even consider Christmas because there’s no way he would leave his mom alone for the holidays, but… the dates Margaux offered seem kinda perfect. His main project is due on December 4th so he wouldn’t have to worry about that and it’d be fine if he missed classes for those several days. Completely unaware, he finds himself making plans in his head before he even made a decision to accept his father’s money, but when his eyes snap to his dad’s, the small smile he gives him lets him know he already knows Robbe’s answer.
 December 7th, 22:00
His excitement has been uncontainable the entire day, making him so giddy he had to cancel his regular call with Sander because his boyfriend would figure him out in seconds. And that’s the last thing he wants. 
He’s still in shock that he somehow managed to keep it from him, planning a surprise in his head ever since he agreed to his dad’s help and working extra hard at uni to afford missing those 8 days of school. There’s apparently been one close call when Younes almost spilled the beans to Sander during their Zoom, but thank god for Yasmina who managed to effortlessly salvage the secret, improvising and coming up with an easy lie, leaving him unsuspicious of any ploy going on.
And Robbe just. He just can’t wait. He’s been counting hours since last week, his lips yearning to be kissed by his favorite person, body pining for touch and caress. 
Lost in the dreams of their reunion, Robbe’s startled by a ping from his phone, lips stretching in a wide smile when he sees a notification from Sander’s instagram. He opens it, curious, melting when he’s greeted with a graffiti sign saying ENKEL LIEFDE, Sander’s style easily recognizable to him. Underneath, there’s a heart and his own handle and that shit never fails to make Robbe heart stutter. There’s a DM from Sander waiting for him as well, the same photo, but Sander’s caption says The High Line needed its own version of my love declaration for you, but unfortunately I couldn’t find enough space for a redo of your gorgeous face Robin :( So I did this :) You like it?
He replies with a bunch of red hearts, likes the post and adds another heart in a comment because there’s never too many of those. Then he flops back on his bed, a smile glued to his face.
Nineteen hours.
32 notes · View notes
getsojaded · 4 years
Text
chemistry || calum hood
word count: 3.8k+
warnings: mentions of weed, swear words, mention of injury, food & the slightest bit of sex talk
a/n: hey twt moots ;)) anyways, this is inspired by this post! i hope u all enjoy <3
-
It was about 11 pm, and I had just finished taking an unnecessarily large amount of notes for chemistry class. With a sore, shaky hand and a vision that was starting to go blurry, I had finally finished ten pages. Who knew that there was so much information about 5 organic compounds?
I yawned in my seat, stretching my arms out and removing my glasses. I was more than thankful that I can call it a night, and walked towards my bathroom to get ready for bed, which took a good 30 minutes. It usually doesn’t take me that long, but fuck, I was exhausted this whole day. After all my skincare was completed, I walked back to my bedroom and hopped into my bed, prepared for a well deserved rest. After slouching for a good three and a half hours, comforter and pillows had never felt so good against my body. 
Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard a loud ding! from my phone and I opened my heavy eyes, which immediately annoyed me. I ignored the first one and tried to go back to sleep, but one ding turned into six and I couldn’t take it anymore. I angrily ripped the covers off my body, sitting up right after reaching for my phone on the nightstand beside my bed.
6 New Text Messages from: calum hood
hey wyd rn
can you do me a favour
i need your help
im at this party right now and i’m about to get high as fuck but i forgot about our homework for tomorrow and i was wondering if you could do them for me
you don’t even need to make them look pretty like how you do it just take down the important shit
please
“What the fuck?” I whsipered to myself as I looked at my phone. “Who does this bitch think he is?”
to: calum hood
are you fucking serious right now
from: calum hood
please i’m really sorry LOL i completely forgot about it
i know your smarty pants finished it the second you got home please
i’ll literally buy you starbucks tomorrow morning
As much as I hated to admit it, his last text message kind of convinced me. I was a sucker for coffee, and could really stop spending money on it every morning. But was I really about to lose some more sleep just to do the party boy’s notes? I barely know this kid anyways. How’d this guy even get into college? 
to: calum hood
is it gonna be a venti
from: calum hood:
if that’s what you want, sure
I knew I was going to regret this decision, but I threw on my glasses and put my hair up once again, walking towards my desk. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I sighed out, opening my laptop and gathering my supplies together. I unlocked my phone, seeing that the time was 12 am. Am I doing this for coffee or am I doing this because he’s attractive and I couldn’t really say no to him? I groaned and leaned my head on my desk, texting him back.
to: calum hood
i hate you so much
get me a venti iced white mocha no whip and an extra espresso shot
actually no make that two extra espresso shots cause bc of your dumbass im staying up 
from: calum hood
i gotchu angel
thank you so much, see you tomorrow :)
“Fuck off with the petname and the smiley face,” I angrily cursed at my phone, picking up my pencil and beginning to write another ten pages of notes. 
“I hate this bitch,” I said, throwing my pencil onto my desk and slamming my laptop shut. The time was now 3:45 am and tired was an understatement for me. I crawled into bed, falling asleep almost immediatly, hoping that these 5 hours of sleep will give me enough energy to get through class tomorrow.
-
“You have got to be fucking joking me,” I mumbled, reaching over for my phone to turn off the alarm. I was definitely not a morning person, and the fact that I didn’t get at least 7 hours of sleep meant that I was not going to be in a good mood today.
I slowly crawled out of bed and began trudging towards my bathroom, seeing I had gotten a text meesage from the man himself. I rolled my eyes seeing his name pop up, opening the conversation between him and I.
from: calum hood
goodmorning!
to: calum hood
fuck off
I set my phone aside, getting ready for bed in the slowest way possible. I honestly could care less about what I looked like today, so I decided on a hoodie and sweatpants. I went back into my room and packed my bag with everything I needed, including Calum’s stupid study notes. I threw it over my shoulder, putting on my shoes and walking out the front door, into my car. Thankfully my college was not too far from my apartment, so it didn’t matter if I was running a couple of minutes late.
Parking my car and walking towards class, more and more annoyance filled my body, hoping that nobody would say a word to me, or even better, look in my direction. As I walked into the classroom, I walked towards the empty seats in the very back, choosing the one closest to the wall. I got settled into my seat, leaning the side of my head against the wall, hoping that I’d get the tiniest bit of extra rest.
“The last text message you sent to me wasn’t very nice.” I heard a voice beside me say. I opened my eyes and looked up, seeing the stupid Calum Hood. He was holding two cups of coffee - one for me, and one for him I’m assuming - and was wearing a maroon hoodie, which he actually looked really good in.
“I don’t think you deserve to have a nice goodmorning text, because you are the reason I’m in a pissy mood today, thank you very much.” I responded, taking my coffee from his hand and placing it on my desk. I reached into my bag and took the study notes I wrote for him, slapping it onto the desk beside me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as our professor began to speak up, indicating that class had begun. “What can I do in order for you not to be mad at me?” I turned to look at him. He had the biggest pouty face I had ever seen, which was absolutely adorable. But I’d never tell him that.
“Just shut up.” I sighed, turning back towards the board, opening my notebook and beginning to take notes. 
Not even ten minutes later, a green sticky note caught my eye as I was writing. My eyes gazed towards the sticky note, scoffing at what was written on it.
Pls forgive me :(
I turned towards Calum, who was currently well focused on the board in front of us. I lightly chuckled, knowing he was more than pretending to actually pay attention in this class.
I thought I told you to shut up, I wrote underneath his writing and stuck it back onto his desk, and continued from where I left off. I got maybe 5 words in before I saw the neon green appear back onto my desk. I can’t shut up if I’m not talking.
I rolled my eyes before crumbling the paper in my hand, looking at Calum once again. “You’re distracting me. What do you want?” I asked him, the brunette boy turning his head to me once again. 
“For you not to be mad at me.” He responded. “What can I do for you to at least smile at me? Besides telling me to shut up.” 
I stared at him with the bitchiest face I could put on, then rolled my eyes and began to take down more notes in my book. First, he makes me write ten pages for him and now he’s distracting me in class. Can he leave me alone for at least five minutes? 
“And now you’re not gonna talk to me. Fine, be that way.” He grunted. The two of went back to what to we were doing for the remainder of class.
-
“That’s all for today folks, I hope you have a good rest of your day and don’t forget to read pages thirty to thirty-five and finish questions one to twenty-seven.” Our professor said to all of the class, which resulted in me grabbing my bag and standing up immediately, wanting nothing more than to just get the fuck out of this place.
Please don’t talk to me please don’t talk to me please don’t talk to me-
“Hey wait,” Calum said and grabbed my hand. 
Fuck
“Yes?” I asked him, turning my body towards him as he let go of my hand. 
“What’re you doing the rest of the day?” 
“Nothing, why..?”
I saw that Calum had the cheekiest grin on his face after I gave him my answer. “As an apology for making you write down my notes, thank you very much by the way, along with making you angry this whole morning, how about we go get breakfast on me, and we can do our homework together, except I will do all the work, and you just copy my answers? How does that sound?”
I thought about it. One part of me just wanted to flip him off, go back home and get the sleep I missed out on last night. The other part of me was actually kind of down for that idea. Free food, free homework answers and I get to hang out with pretty boy? I wasn’t really losing anything here, huh? 
“I mean, I would say yes, but I took my car here and also I’m dressed terribly right now, the last thing I need is for more people to see me looking like this..” I trailed off, looking down at my current outfit and laughing lightly. “Babe, you don’t even look bad whatsoever right now. However, if you insist, you can go home and change and I can come get you when you’re ready. Is that a plan?” He asked in response. First angel, now babe? What is this guy doing?
“I mean.. I could do that...but-” “Pleeaaasee?” Calum cut me off, pressing his hands together, acting as if he was praying. 
“Ugh, fine, I’ll go with you! I’ll go home and get ready, and I’ll text you when I’m done.” I responded as the both of us walked out of the classroom, towards the parking lot. 
“Pinky promise you won’t cancel on me last minute?” Calum asked, extending his arm and putting his pinky in front of me as we reached my car. I hadn’t even noticed that he walked me to my car, which honestly made my heart flutter when I realized. 
“Are you kidding me?” I laughed lightly, taking my pinky and sticking it out with his, interlocking it. “Pinky promises mean everything, sweetheart. I’ll see you later.” He responded, winking at me then walking away. Getting into my car, I hit my steering wheel, squealing while I repeatedly hit my head against my wheel. “Fuckin’ angel, babe and sweetheart?! What’s next?” I asked myself, driving back to my place to get ready for this little study.. session? Hang out? Date? 
I never noticed how nervous I was to hang out with Calum until four different outfits were placed on my bed, with no ability to choose which one looked best. “Fuck, these are all terrible.” I groaned, flopping onto my bed and closing my eyes. I was interrupted by my phone ringing, seeing that Calum was calling.
“I know you pinky promised that you wouldn’t cancel on me, but angel what is taking so long?” He asked, laughing into his question. “I’m so sorry,” I groaned, getting back up and looking at the outfits I planned on my bed. “I’m having a little wardrobe crisis. I have zero idea what to wear.”
“You could’ve showed up in the hoodie and sweatpants and I’d still find you gorgeous,” He responded, making my heart flutter for what felt like the hundreth time today. This man throws small compliments left and right and it’s kind of driving me crazy. “But lemme see what you got planned out. I’ll make it easier for you.” I responded with an okay, quickly snapping a photo of the clothes that were currently on my bed. 
“Okay first off, none of these are bad at all. I think you could’ve chose any of these and rocked all of ‘em. Second, little shirt big pants is always the way to go. I say the second one.” He told me, choosing a white long sleeved shirt and the baggiest light wash jeans I had in my closet. It might’ve been basic, but Calum was right - you really can’t go wrong with a little shirt big pants combination. 
“Okay, thank you.” I sighed in relief, taking the clothes into my hands and walking into the washroom to change. “You can come now, I’ll text you my address. I’ll probably be done by the time you get here.” 
“Now was that so hard?” He asked in response, causing the both of us to laugh. “I’ll see you in a bit. Bye bye!” 
“Bye Calum, see you later.” And with that the call ended. I quickly changed into my clothes, put my laptop in my bag - along with everything else I needed - and slipped my shoes on. Once I finished doing so, I heard a loud honk outside, indicating that he was outside. 
Walking out of my house I saw Calum exiting his seat, walking over to the other side and opening the door for me. “Wow, what a gentleman.” I laughed as he closed my door and got into the drivers’ side once again. “You look great.” He told me, his eyes focused on my outfit. “All thanks to you.” I said nervously, as he started the car. “Where are we going again?” I asked him. 
“You can never go wrong with IHOP,”  He said proudly, with a wide grin on his face. “How’d you know I loved going there?” I asked him, gaining a chuckle from him in response. “Not sure if you knew this, but I’m a mindreader.” He joked, causing me to roll my eyes and laugh in response. 
Arriving at the place and ordering our food, Calum and I began to have a little conversation. It started off with an are you still mad at me? which resulted into talks about other classes, finals and parties. 
“You’re telling me you’ve never been to a party?” He asked in shock, me shaking my head as I took a sip of the water that was given to me. “Are you kidding me? We’ve been in college for what, two years, and you’ve never been to one?!”
“Yeah, in case you didn’t notice, I go to school to learn and not to party. I don’t ask people to take ten pages of notes for me so I could blaze up, unlike somebody I know,” I responded, Calum looking at me in disbelief. “I cannot believe you just called me out like that. I said I was sorry!” 
“Yeah yeah, I know. You’re making up for it with free food and free homework answers, so I decided to get over it.” I responded, laughing. “Also, when are we gonna start doing the questions?” I asked as the waiter came with both of our plates of food, thanking them as we began to eat. 
“I mean, we could go back to my place and work on it, if that’s alright with you.” Calum said, his mouth full of pancakes. “Is that your way of trying to get in my pants?” I asked jokingly. 
“You’re a fiesty one aren’t you?” He asked, with a simple nod from me in response. “Well to answer your question, no that is not my way of doing such a thing, I’d be much more smooth about it.” 
“Oh, so you think you’re slick or something?” “Nah babe, I know I’m slick.” There’s the cocky party boy that I was much more familiar with. I rolled my eyes in response.
“I’m gonna ignore what you just said.. Anyways, I am fine with working on it at your place.” I told him, getting a nod in response. Throughout the whole breakfast, we got to know each other quite well. I learned that he played soccer in highschool, but due to a torn ACL he had to quit. But because of that, he got into music and started playing the guitar. I told him that if there’s enough free time when we finished, he should play me something. He happily agreed to it, saying that I will fall in love with him after I hear his singing. I just roll my eyes at his cocky compliments about himself. 
I also got to hear his totally wild college parties that he goes to, telling me about this one time one of his friends’ houses got shut down due to the various noise complaints from neighbours down the block. “you should come join me in one”, He offers, with a “fuck no” in response from me. 
“C’mon, they’re not that bad. They’re actually really fun, and everybody’s always so nice.” 
“I literally can’t tell you the last time I got high, and the last time I got drunk it was not pretty, I’m retired from that shit.” I said, as he paid for our food and began walking back to his car.
“Oh, so you used to be rowdy?” He asked, the two of us laughing in unison. “High school me was a different story, we don’t talk about that.” I responded. “The things I would do to see that side of you. You gotta go to at least one before you get outta this place. They take a lot of stress off your shoulders for the night.” He told me as we walked towards the front door to his place, which made me laugh at the fact that he tried to make parties seem like a really good thing. A simple Maybe, was all I responded with as we got settled into his apartment, which was fairly clean to my surprise. 
We were currently sitting across each other at his dining table, the both of us reading over the textbook and him answering the questions after every section. He worked effeciently, which also took me by surprise. I underestimated this guy a lot, didn’t I?
A good two hours later, Calum had finished all the questions for homework and I had finished copying them down, thanking him for doing such a thing.
“It’s no problem. I had no idea that the notes were ten fucking pages long, you deserve a break after that- wait, you wear glasses?” He asked me, analyzing them.
“Yeah, only at home though. I don’t really like how they look on me,” I replied, taking them off and rubbing my eyes. He took them in his hands and put them back on me, smiling. “They look really cute on you, I like them.” He said, causing me to blush. “What’re you so flirty for?” I asked. Keep these compliments up and I might just fall in love with you before you even sing, I thought to myself.
“Well, with somebody as pretty as you, I gotta slip in a flirty remark every chance I get, eh?” He smirked, taking my hand, and taking the both of upstairs. “Don’t take this the wrong way, my guitars in my room.” He reassured me as we walked inside his room. He took the guitar from the side of his room, and sat on the edge of his bed, gesturing me to sit down next to him.
“Ready to fall in love with me?”
“Try me, Hood.” 
He chuckled, playing the intro to Sam Smith’s Leave Your Lover. “Holy shit, I love this song,” I whispered, watching his hands strum the guitar.
He began to sing, immediately amazed by his voice. It was so soft and raspy, I literally could listen to it all day. I closed my eyes, leaning my head on his shoulder. He laughed softly when he noticed, continuing on with the song. 
He finished playing the outro, which caused me to open my eyes and look up at him. “So, how was that?” 
“It was beautiful, your voice is so pretty.” I responded, smiling at him. “You should drop outta this whole college thing and just become famous.”
“Oh man I wish, but I think it’s too late for that.” He told me, now leaning on my shoulder, which made me want to scream and kiss him. “Did you fall in love with me yet?”
I patted his cheek with my hand lightly. “Not yet Cal, not yet. Stil kinda angry about that whole ten pages of notes thing.” 
“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”
“Nah.”
He laughed, then took my hand and intertwined it with his, rubbing circles on it with his thumb. “What if I told you I’d be down to do this again, minus the whole ‘let me do this for you today as an apology’ thing?” He questioned, lifting his head from my shoulder and looking at me.
“What do you mean, ‘this again’?”
“I mean picking you up with a coffee before class, bothering you the whole time, getting breakfast with you afterwards, studying together, and then playing a song for you once we get too lazy to finish our assignments.” He replied with a soft smile that made my heart warm and my cheeks red.
“And what if I told you that I’d be down to do those things aswell?” 
“Well then my love, I will pick you up on Wednesday at 8:15 with a venti iced white mocha with only one extra shot of espresso, because I won’t keep you up to write more notes. After class, I’ll take us to any place you wanna go. Denny’s? IHOP? Waffle House? You name it. Then, we can go back to my place, study our asses off and then I can play you as many songs as you’d like. How does that sound?” He offered, the biggest smile appearing on my face.
“That sounds perfect.”
“Now if we’re going to be doing this... does this mean I can finally take you to a damn party?”
“Fuck off, Hood.”
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simply-trash5 · 4 years
Text
Running
Okay not even going to lie this was my favorite chapter to write and I REALLY hope you guys like it. 
<3 Chapter Five
The week seemed to drag by. You wanted nothing more than for it to be Saturday so that you could see Lee again. You both were going to have a very busy week so you both decided that you wouldn’t hang out again until the date on Saturday. Just because you couldn’t see each other though didn’t mean that you couldn’t stay up till obscene hours playing dumb games or sending each other memes. You spent the week with your phone in your hand constantly and you kept finding yourself waiting to hear from Lee. He surprisingly texted you a lot, and seemed to be a huge fan of emojis. 
He always sent you a good morning text, which usually had a meme accompanying it. These of course always made you smile. One night when you fell asleep while texting him you woke up at 3:00 A.M. to find your phone gripped in your hand. Just before you put it on the charger you saw that you had an unopened text from none other than Lee. The text read: “Good night Y/N. I really hope that you sleep well. I am really excited for our date on Saturday! :)” Even in your sleepy stupor you found yourself smiling and feeling the butterflies in your tummy flutter. 
On Saturday morning you woke up bright and cheery at 8:00 A.M. as if you hadn’t been up till 3:00 doing homework. Despite only getting a few hours of good sleep you felt so rested and so excited. Today was the big date and you had absolutely no idea what Lee had decided on. You decided to text Lee first this time, telling him Good morning, and asking him what to wear on your date that night. He simply replied “Dress for fun. I’ll be there to get you at 6:00.”
For fun? What did that even mean? The day seemed to fly by and you questioned what you should wear for ‘fun’.  You rummaged through your closet and finally decided on a deep purple bodysuit under ripped black skinny jeans. You added a denim jacket for warmth and a pair of black combat boots. The body suit hugged your curves and gave a nice amount of cleavage without being too revealing for your liking. You decided to wear your hair naturally with a black knit beanie because you had no idea what Lee had up his sleeve. 
You didn’t hear much from Lee after the morning but that was okay with you. You were so nervous that you weren’t sure you would even be able to form responses to whatever he may say. By 5:15 you were completely ready and nervously scrolling through social media to pass the time. You checked on a few friends pages and even found yourself checking Lee’s feed to see if he had mentioned anything. At 3:00 that afternoon he posted a single smiley face and his dad liked it. You rolled your eyes thinking of how he must have looked crafting such an eloquent post. 
At 6:00 you decided to head down to the front of the building to see if Lee had shown up. Right on time he was there scrolling through his phone in one hand and had the other placed strategically behind his back. When he heard you approach he beamed and put his phone in his pocket. Just from his smile alone you could feel your cheeks heat up.
“Y/N, you look so pretty. Oh, erm, I’m sorry. That was probably really weird and forward. Uh, I got you this.” He outstretched his arm and in his hand was a single pink daisy. The joy on your face told him everything he needed to know. He gave you a thumbs up, which he seemed to do often when he was happy. 
You took the flower from Lee’s hand and gave him a huge hug. You both stood there for a minute in the embrace, this hug definitely felt different than your one from a week ago. There was something exciting and warm in this hug. You both stood back from each other, both blushing slightly. “So, Lee, what do you have planned for us?” you said excitedly.
“Ah, yes.” Lee began, “Well I have such a fun plan for us. Our first stop is a ramen shop downtown. Now here is my question for you, would you like to walk there or take the bus?” You thought for a minute and carefully weighed your options. He took your silence as a sign that you wanted to walk. “Lets go Y/N! I can’t wait for you to try this place!”
You and Lee walked the few blocks into downtown chatting and talking about your week. Lee talked about all of the tests he had this week and you talked about how you were completely over writing papers. Before long you both had made it to the shop. Lee held the door open for you as you both entered the small hole-in-the wall restaurant. You walked to the counter to order and you quietly whispered to Lee, “I’ve never had Ramen, what should I order?”
Lee looked at you in complete shock and then a look of determination washed over his face. “We will have two orders of the spicy ramen!” The gentleman behind the counter began to ring in your order. He talked with Lee as if he had known him forever. Lee introduced you to the man with a smile. The gentleman asked if you were Lee’s girlfriend which caused Lee to sputter and stammer. You told the man that you were on a date but you were friends. You would have never known it but Lee’s heart dropped a little at the mention of you being friends. Lee led you to a small table by the window where he continued to tell you about himself. You both laughed, ate, and talked for about an hour when Lee finally spoke up. “Well Y/N, we have a few more stops on our night of fun. Ready to go to our next location?” You laughed at how formally Lee was speaking and he gave you a bright smile in return.
Outside the restaurant you looked at Lee inquisitively. Lee looked down at you and gave you a wink. “So, Y/N, I thought you may want something sweet after dinner so I have just the place. Did you know that every saturday this month there is a town bonfire down by the river?” You gave Lee a surprised look with a smile. “I was thinking that maybe we could go make smores before our last stop. You know, just something sweet for the sweetest person I know.”
You blushed and giggled just a little. Once you realized how silly you must have looked you rolled your eyes with a smirk and punched Lee lightly on the arm. You weren’t fooling him though, he saw the way you turned pink at his little compliment and he thought it was one of the cutest things he had ever seen. His heart was beating just a little harder as you guys walked toward the river than ran through town. Once there you both had a blast making smores and sitting around the fire. You wondered how Lee had heard about this spot but instead of asking you just told him more about yourself. Lee checked his watch, the time read 8:00 and he began to stand from his spot. “Okay Y/N, I have one last stop for us. This may be the coolest one in my opinion.” He held out his hand to help you stand from the log where you were sitting. Lee’s hand was so warm and felt so nice wrapped around yours, you almost hated to let it go. Reluctantly you let go of Lee’s hand, not wanting to make your need for affection awkward for him. 
Lee led you to a small bar in town, which made you question why you would be coming there. You never thought Lee was a drinker. Lee cleared his throat, “So you’re probably wondering why I brought you here. Well, one of my favorite local bands is playing here tonight and I think you would like them. We can obviously leave if you want, but I thought it would be fun!” You gave Lee a smile and a nod reassuring him that you wanted to go inside. 
Once inside the bar you both walked toward the stage where the band was playing. There set had already began but you could tell that you really liked them already. You and Lee exchanged some glances and smiles throughout the first few songs until the band took a quick break. Lee went off to the bar and grabbed you both a beer. You both drank your beer and listened to the music. Lee was singing and dancing a little when it was a song he knew and before long you found yourself swaying along too. The band announced that they were going to be playing a stripped down version of one of their songs and encouraged the crowd to dance with a “special someone.” Lee’s cheeks began to turn a light shade of pink. He began to walk to a table to sit when you reached out your hand and grabbed his arm. Lee looked at you a little confused. You weren’t sure if it was liquid courage or your need to feel his arms around you but you asked him shyly if he would dance with you. Lee shook his head so violently that you thought it may fly off. You began to giggle at his goofy grin but stopped as soon as his large hands found your waist. 
The next 3 minutes were the best part of the date so far. You two definitely danced like no one was watching. Neither one of you were sure how to dance with another person, but you gave your best shot at it. You two were still in each other’s arms long after the band had finished. Neither of you would have moved if the band hadn’t announced it was the last song of the evening. Lee leaned down and asked if you wanted to head back to campus and you gave him a nod. 
Outside the wind was blowing lightly. The lights in the city seemed to glow even more with the cloudy sky. It was quiet in town as most of the nightlife was coming to a close. You two began your walk back to campus. You pulled your jacket a little tighter remarking about how chilly it was. Lee immediately reached his hand out for yours. You stared at his hand in shock for a few seconds before taking it. The feeling of Lee’s hand wrapped around yours made you feel so warm inside you would have thought it was summer. You were pulled out of your quiet thoughts by Lee. “Earlier I gave you a daisy. Do you know anything about flowers and their meaning?” You shook your head and said that you didn't. Lee cleared his throat and began to speak in a thoughtful tone, “The daisy is a symbol of new beginnings, specifically a pink daisy is sometimes seen as a symbol for new romantic feelings.” 
Your mouth made a small o and you looked up at Lee with a sparkle in your eye. You two didn’t speak again till you got back to your building. You looked at Lee standing in front of you. He was so handsome and sweet; you were sure you had never met a better guy in your life. “Lee, I had a really great time tonight. Thank you for such a fun and thoughtful date. The flower was very thoughtful too.” Lee looked down at you with a small grin.
“Y/N I gave you that daisy because I wanted you to know how much I like you. Everyday I wake up and you’re the first thing on my mind. At night, before I go to sleep, you are the last thing I think of. I don’t mean to be forward, but I just wanted you to know how I feel.” Your eyes grew wide. Immediately Lee thought he had said the wrong thing. The corners of your mouth turned upward into a bright smile.
“Lee, I like you too, so much more than just a friend. You make me so happy. You’re an amazing man.” Lee’s cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. Lee closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.
“Y/N, can I kiss you?”, Lee asked bravely.
“Lee,” you began, “I’ve been waiting on this since the day you carried me up to my room. I would want nothing more.” Lee’s hands travelled to your cheeks and held your face tenderly. He leaned down to you and gave you a soft sweet kiss. Time stood still for just a minute and just like that it was over. When you both pulled away you both stared at each other with small grins on your face. 
“Y/N, thank you for being you. I can’t wait to see you again,” Lee whispered in your ear as he gave you a tight hug. “Can I come see you tomorrow?”
You gave Lee a small peck on the lips in reassurance. 
 “It’s a date lover-boy.”
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heyyyharry · 4 years
Text
Chapter 14: To The Boy Next Door
(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)
…in which they play a game.
Word count: 4.7k
AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).
Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)
ANNOUNCEMENT: The last chapter was supposed to be released on July 1, BUT I have two final exams on that same week, so I’ll have no choice but to move the schedule forward.
Last My Girl update: July 8, 2020. (July 3: Tumblr preview and full chapter on Patreon).
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One year later
“Come in.”
When Asher entered the room, Gemma almost didn’t recognize him. He’d got a beard now, and he wasn’t wearing a suit. If she hadn’t known the charming Asher in the past, she would be so shocked to find out he was the CEO’s son. Too bad she didn’t care enough to wonder what had happened to him after his business had gone bankrupt because his father had refused to finance it. Now he was just a regular accountant.
His eyes went wide when he saw her sitting with his dad in the CEO office.
Hello, Asher, she thought, yet gave him nothing but a polite nod as if they were meeting for the first time.
“Asher, I suppose you remember Gemma?” asked his father with a sigh.
“Yes,” Asher mumbled, his gaze falling to the floor.
Of course he remembered her. Abusers always remembered their victims.
His dad looked from him back to Gemma. Hands folded on the desk, he said, “Gemma is our new COO. I hope you will have no trouble working for her.”
Asher’s head jerked up as if he’d just heard a gunshot. And Gemma, of course, was the one holding the gun.
She relished his astonishment and cracked a smile as she rose from her seat and walked toward him. She extended her hand, but he didn’t take it.
“Working for her?” he asked his dad, who replied with a stern expression.
“Yes. She’s your new boss.”
Gemma broke into a smirk, still holding out her hand in the space between them. Asher’s eyes had grown so big they nearly took over his entire face. “You,” he hissed at her, “I can't believe you weaselled your way into this company.”
“Oh, no.” Gemma frowned pretentiously and dropped her hand down to her side. “I’ve been a shareholder for almost a year. I’ve done more for this company in that short amount of time than you have your whole life.”
He thinned his lips and glared at her, unable to muster a single word.
She hated him but respected his father. And what was better as revenge than making sure she took everything he wanted? First, his father’s affection. Soon, his father’s company.
“I don’t want to make this unpleasant for you, Asher,” her voice dropped so low as she leaned in so only the two of them could hear. “Or maybe I do. So you better be a nice employee, because I wouldn't be sorry to kick you out of here.”
His face dimmed as she stepped away. If there was a camera, she’d take a picture and put it in a frame. Though she doubted this would be the last time she got to see that defeated look on his face.
"See you around, Ash," she said, placing a hand on her hip as she breezed right past him out of the room.
Two interns, a blonde and a dark-skinned girl, rose from their cubicles and rushed up to her as she was heading for the lift.
“Excuse me,” the blonde said timidly. “Are you...our new COO?”
“Y-Yes, yes, I am.” Gemma worked up a smile and the girls giggled to each other like teenagers.
“Congratulations and welcome!” said the dark-skinned one, who said her name was Marie and her friend was Claria. Gemma assumed they were going to fangirl about her brother, but then Marie said, “We love your sister-in-law’s book. We’re such big big fans.”
It took Gemma a second. “Y/N? She and Harry aren’t–”
“Future sister-in-law,” Claria corrected her friend, looking nervously from Marie back to Gemma. “We’ve...heard some rumours. Can you confirm or deny it?”
“I cannot. But I’ll let her know about you girls.”
The girls grinned like the Cheshire Cat, and Gemma could tell they were trying their best not to freak out. She waved them goodbye and hastened into the lift before the door closed.
Her phone buzzed with a new text.
Isey: Lunch? :)
Lunch :) she replied, biting back a grin.
Another notification popped up. A reply from Harry's girl. Gemma rolled her eyes as she remembered lending Harry her phone a couple of weeks ago. He'd changed most names in her contacts and she'd only managed to change back a few of them.
Harry's girl: Thanks for the birthday wish, Gem! (heart emoji)
You're welcome! Is Harry coming home today?
Harry's girl: I hope not. But idk.
We never know. How can you STAND him? Ugh.
Harry's girl: I can't lol.
Harry's girl: Anyway, what was his reaction?
Gemma knew right away whom Y/N was talking about.
Priceless, she responded.
Harry's girl: QUEEN. Make his life a living hell.
Oh I will. Certainly.
The door slid open with a ding, and Gemma tucked the phone into her bag. Her assistant was waiting outside to direct her to her new office. With a smile on her face, she stepped out of the lift and shook the assistant's hand.
She was so ready for this new beginning.
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“Good aaaaaafternoon, girlfriend! Are you feeling twenty-two?”
Y/N laughed hoarsely as she blinked a few times to let her vision get used to the light from the windows opposite the bed. “You’re embarrassing,” she said, yawning.
On the phone, Harry gasped. “Did you just wake up?!”
“I stayed up all night talking to you and had a zoom meeting with Laura this morning. Besides, it’s Sunday.”
“It’s your birthday.”
“Duh.” She grinned at the ceiling and exhaled. “I’m twenty-two now. I’m like...old.”
“Ouch. Well, aren’t you supposed to get ready for the book signing?”
“Book signing is tomorrow. Bad boyfriend.”
The sound of his laugh made her heart leap. She missed him so much. He’d been in New York for two weeks and wouldn’t be back until next Thursday, which meant she’d have to spend this birthday without him. She wasn’t sure if she should let him know she wished he were here. She really did. But she also didn’t want him to drop everything and fly back to her for only one night. He’d done that before and it'd been romantic, still, she never wanted him to do it again.
“To prove that I’m not a bad boyfriend,” he said, snapping her back to the moment. “I have a surprise for you.”
She sat up straight and whipped her head to the door. “Goddamn it, Harry,” she huffed, “if you tell me you’re standing right outside–”
“No!” He burst out laughing. “No, no, no, I’m still in New York.”
She sighed in relief, but couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed.
“My surprise is in the pocket of my favourite suit,” he said.
She had no idea what he might have up his sleeves (quite literally). Still, she rolled out of bed, shoved her feet into her slippers, and padded out of the room.
Two years ago on this same day, he’d brought her to the roof of an abandoned building, where they’d watched the night city and eaten his homemade cupcakes. On her twenty-first birthday, they hadn’t been talking. And so this year, she’d suspected that he must have planned something extravagant to surprise her, even though he wasn’t home to celebrate with her. The surprise had come a bit earlier than expected.
She switched on the light in the walk-in closet, which was as large as her old flat. His favourite suit was the one he’d worn on Grammy’s night. Sparkling dark velvet to match the aesthetic of her silvery mermaid gown, which, unfortunately, she hadn’t got a chance to show off to the world.
She stuck her hand into the breast pocket of the jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Found it."
“Go on. Read it,” he encouraged.
“If it says ‘Happy Birthday, smiley face’, I’ll strangle you when you come back.”
A laugh burst right through him. “Your choking kink is getting out of hand, babe.”
“Shut up.” She huffed, unfolding the note. “Should have said I loved you,” she read aloud. “What does that mean?”
“You can ask for my help only once. Call me when you’ve found the fifth clue.”
“Wait!”
But he’d already hung up.
She almost called him back but then decided not to. She didn't want to waste her only chance to ask for help.
Classic treasure hunt, she thought, rereading the sentence.
The prize would be her birthday present for sure. Maybe he’d hidden it in the wood somewhere. A normal boyfriend would just have the birthday present delivered, or leave it on the table or in the garage, not challenge his girlfriend’s two only active brain cells with a children’s game. But Y/N wasn’t a normal girlfriend. And as much as she hated working for something other than her writing, a part of her was excited.
“Should have said I loved you,” she thought out loud, then snapped her fingers and rushed across the hallway to his library.
Two years ago, she’d told him she’d loved him for the first time and received silence in return. In this very room, he’d watched her leave.
She stood in front of the giant bookcase, which he’d had installed a month after she’d officially moved in. Most of these books were from her collection. On a shelf in the middle stood three framed photos of them. Them in Paris. Them with their families on a vacation last summer. Them at her graduation.
She flipped each frame over to check the back, but none had what she was looking for. She tapped her foot impatiently on the carpet while assessing the rest of the bookcase. It didn’t take her too long to notice that one book was upside down.
P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern.
Of course. Of-fucking-course.
She rolled her eyes, feeling a smile stretching her lips as she took the book from the shelf and opened it to the first page. There was a post-it note that said:
Congrats, babe. You’ve found it. Next clue: Where the magic happens ;)
‘Where the magic happens.’ If it wasn’t sexual, the winky face had made sure that it was.
Could it be their bed? Nope. She'd slept there last night.
Could it be the first place they’d had sex?
Could the next clue be inside that car?
She jolted with a start and dashed out of the library, and as soon as she reached the stairs, she suddenly halted.
No. She didn’t remember which car they’d had sex in for the first time, and he’d got a whole collection of cars. It’d take forever to search every single one. That wasn’t the right answer.
Sighing, she stood on the first stair and contemplated the clue again.
They used to play Treasure Hunt when they were younger. There were usually at least five or six clues, and the first three should be easy.
Could it be her flat? Most of their ‘secret relationship’ had happened in her flat. It used to be their secret kingdom. Impenetrable. Disconnected to the outside world. They’d also had their second real kiss outside her door, and she still had until the end of this month before she must return the keys to the landlord.
She wasn’t sure, and she wasn’t going to drive all the way there just to find out she was wrong.
And so she decided to call him.
“Let me guess,” he said as soon as the beeping stopped. “You’re either super impatient or your fairy godmother appeared and helped you find all five clues.”
She rolled her eyes. “Third clue. Is it your car or my flat?”
“My car?” He sounded confused, which gave her the impression that she might have got it wrong.
Her cheeks burnt as she said, “We had sex for the first time in your car.”
“No, not my car, but damn, I should have thought of that.”
“So it’s my flat?”
“Are you sure you want to ask me now?”
“Yes.”
“Yes,” he smugly confirmed. “It’s your flat. Now you’re on your own until the final clue.”
“Fuck,” she grunted and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I thought you’d have trouble with this one, too. I mean, we fuck everywhere these days.”
“If my birthday present isn’t worth all this, we won’t be fucking ever again.”
He gasped at the threat, and she could picture him wearing that stupid crooked smile as he told her, “Good luck, kid. I believe in you.”
.
.
.
She found the next clue on Thumper’s lap.
When she’d moved most of her furniture to Harry’s house, she’d forgotten to take the purple stuffed bunny with her. She held it under her arm and scrutinized the pink post-it note, which said:
I cannot believe you left Thumper behind. Third clue: Drunk little deer.
“Drunk little deer? What does that even mean?” Then she looked at Thumper. “Should I kick him in the balls when I see him?”
She made the rabbit nod and burst out laughing at how crazy she sounded. If anyone walked in and saw her talking to a stuffed animal, they would assume she was either crazy or drunk.
Drunk.
She was the drunk little deer. Drunk Bambi.
The answer was the place he'd seen her drunk for the first time.
.
.
.
Andrew recognized Y/N right from the moment she stepped into the pub. He leaned over the counter and shouted for everyone to hear, “Little girl! Good to see you again!”
“Andrew," she smiled and shouldered her way towards the bar.
He eyed her up and down as she slid onto one of the stools. “You look different. I hope you’re not here to drink again. I might have to kick you out.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You look different, too. I like your new hair.”
Andrew rubbed his shiny bald head, scowling at her as she raised a smile and rested her chin on her knuckles. Andrew might look intimidating, especially now without his hair, but he was one of the softest people she’d ever met. He’d been so kind to her during her tough times and even let her haunt his pub day and night until Harry had come for the rescue.
“You’re kind of famous now, aren’t you?” Andrew said. “I’ve read your book. It didn’t suck.”
“You have?”
He lifted one giant shoulder of his, pursing his lips. “My wife made me. She's a big fan. Your boyfriend came two weeks ago and he even signed the book for her. He said he was the one in the story.”
“My boyfriend was here?”
Andrew gave a nod.
The voices in Y/N's head started cheering like she’d just won a wrestling match. It would have been so embarrassing if she'd asked Andrew first and then found out she'd got it wrong.
“Well, did he leave...something for me? A message perhaps?”
Andrew growled as he turned away, and without a word, disappeared through a stained curtain behind him. He came back five minutes later and handed her a green post-it note with an unreadable grimace on his face.
She snatched it immediately. A laugh crackled out of her as if he’d just given her gold.
Hi babe, you’re almost there! My biggest fans (not you) have the final clue. Get back to work.
“He gave this to me when he signed the book,” Andrew said.
Y/N mumbled the words over as she tried to figure them out. Her first guess for ‘biggest fans (not you)’was Gemma and Isaac. But then she got rid of the idea because they had to be at the same place at the same time in order for this to work, and Gem and Isaac were both at work.
Which two people were together right now and were also Harry’s biggest fans?
‘Get back to work.’
Yes. That’s it!
Y/N thrust the post-it note into her bag and rose from the stool. “I’m sorry. This must be weird to you.”
“It’s quite romantic, actually," Andrew said.
“Really?”
“And weird. You two are both weird. What a perfect couple.”
“Gee, thanks.”
As she spun on her heels, Andrew called after her, “Hey, little girl. I’m sorry I said you weren’t a real writer.”
“You said that?”
“You were drunk,” he chuckled. “Anyway, bring your weird boyfriend back sometimes.”
“I will. If there’s free beer.”
“Get out of here.” He shot his finger toward the door, but it was the first time she’d seen Andrew smile with his whole face.
.
.
.
Eddie’s bookshop was busy on most Sundays. Well, it had been busy almost every day since Y/N had credited him in her latest best-selling debut novel.
She entered the shop and was immediately recognized by a group of schoolgirls, who asked her to sign their new copies of her book and questioned her about the story. She recycled the same amiable answers that didn’t give away any more than what they might already know. Since she’d already got used to the attention, the fans didn’t intimidate her anymore.
She took a selfie with the girls and bid them goodbye. Then one of the new employees told her that Eddie and Alice were sorting books at the back. She wandered along aisles until she found them. Eddie was scolding Alice for putting hardcovers in between paperbacks. Nothing got on Eddie’s nerves as much as putting hardcovers in between paperbacks.
“The hardcovers take more shelf-space so you cannot put them there! God, Alice, were you drunk when you were sorting these books?”
“I wish I were drunk now,” Alice said, and her eyes lit up as she saw Y/N. She nearly tackled Y/N to the floor with a violent hug, and Y/N returned with half as much enthusiasm.
“You’re like a Golden Retriever,” Y/N said, pulling back and cupping her friend’s face.
“Happy birthday! I was gonna send you–”
Eddie didn’t wait for Alice to finish as he pushed her aside to step forward, his face brightened like the sun. “You’re here for the clue, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I–”
“We can’t just hand it to you.” That sun-like face suddenly turned serious. “You need a password. What is Harry’s favourite book?”
Y/N arched an eyebrow at Eddie as if expecting him to say ‘gotcha!’ But he only mirrored her expression as he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer.
“Seriously?” Y/N scoffed, looking at her two friends. “He’s that narcissistic?”
Alice smirked as she raised a shoulder. “Either you answer or search this entire bookshop yourself.”
“I fucking hate him and I fucking hate both of you.” Y/N rolled her eyes upward and exhaled sharply. “Norwegian Wood.”
“Huh?”
“That’s his favourite book,” she told Alice and remembered Alice didn’t read fiction unless it was compulsory. “Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.”
Eddie looked confused. “He loves Haruki Murakami? His books are misogynistic.”
“Harry’s got a bad taste in authors. But judging from your reactions, I suppose that is not the correct answer, and I should probably break up with my boyfriend because I don’t know what his favourite book is.”
“You do, Y/N.” Alice beamed as she leaned a shoulder against the bookcase. “You’re thinking too big. It’s pretty simple.”
“Shit. Is it my book?” Y/N asked, then pinched the bridge of her nose as Eddie began to smile. “Goddamn it, he’s like my dad times ten.”
“What did your dad do?” Eddie asked.
“He bought a bunch of copies of my book and sent them to our relatives for Christmas. It was pretty embarrassing.”
“Aww.”
“ALICE!”
“Jesus Christ!” Alice covered her ears as she shot Eddie a glare. “I’m standing right next to you.”
“Go get the clue!” Eddie flicked his fingers at her. “Go! Hurry!”
Alice rolled her eyes and flipped him off as she backed out of the aisle. Eddie ignored her and turned back to Y/N, grinning from ear to ear like he was the birthday girl. “Are you excited?”
“Not as much as you are. That’s for sure,” Y/N said and made sure he knew she was joking by giving him a toothy grin.
“I’m not gonna tell you what the surprise is, you know.”
“I’m not asking.”
Eddie’s laugh was high as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “What I can tell you is that you’re gonna love it. Too bad I cannot be there to see your reaction.”
“Trust me,” she said. “You don’t wanna see me scold Harry through the phone.”
Alice returned with a copy of My Girl and handed it to Y/N with a smile that possibly meant, ‘You’re gonna love this’.
Suspicious and somewhat elated, Y/N opened the book to the dedication page.
To Mum, Dad, and the boy next door.
Those were her words. Below was his handwriting: Hi my love :)
Curious, she turned to the first chapter. This wasn’t just another copy of her book, of which she’d got all the different covers at home. With this one, Harry had done the same thing he’d done to her journal. His handwriting was scattered across the pages. He’d underlined all the quotes he’d enjoyed and left comments about them on the side.
Y/N heard Eddie say something about how he would never write in books and Alice immediately shush him for being rude. Y/N never wrote in books, either, but she loved reading Harry’s handwritten notes. It felt like he was reading the story with her. The butterflies in her stomach went wild just from imagining him taking his time writing on each page and grinning at his own jokes. If this was the birthday surprise, she could not ask for anything more.
However, she knew he had to be more extra than this.
And there it was. Proof that this was not the surprise. On the very last page, he wrote:
Meet me where the sky meets the earth.
“Where the sky meets the earth?” she thought out loud and glanced up at Eddie, who responded with a shrug. Alice did, too. Y/N didn’t think they were lying. Harry must have told them what the surprise was, but not the answers to these cryptic messages.
Eddie patted her on the back as he wished her good luck and shooed Alice back to the front to assist the customers. Y/N was left behind to work it out on her own. She leaned against the bookcase, pondering over the words.
Hadn’t Harry said she was allowed to call him when she reached the fifth clue?
She tucked the book under her arm and pulled out the phone from the pocket of her jeans.
“Hi, babe!”
“I’ve got the fifth clue,” she blurted. “What do I do now?”
“I don’t know. Solve it?”
“Yes, smartarse. The answer is, I don’t know.”
“You’re not even thinking.”
“You said you’d help me!”
“I said I’d help you once,” he countered. “And I did. I told you to call me just so I know when you’ve reached the final clue.”
“So you’re not gonna help me with this one?”
He was quiet for a moment. “Well, I can give you a hint. What do all the places you’ve visited today have in common?”
She chewed on her lip, an arm folded over her chest. “They’re memories,” she whispered.
“That’s right,” he whispered back, like they didn’t want anyone to overhear their conversation. “This last place is a memory as well. Where the sky meets the earth. Think, kid.”
She pouted. “Can I please get another hint?”
“You don’t get to talk in a cute voice and manipulate me, Bambi,” he sighed. “Fine. Our first date.”
“Holmes Chapel?!”
He said nothing and hung up.
It took Y/N a few seconds, but she believed she’d got the answer.
.
.
.
She took the lift and climbed four sets of stairs to the roof.
Adrenaline buzzed right through her, causing her hands to shake and her heart to pound against her ribcage. The metal was cold against her fingertips as she pawed the heavy door open slowly. It was unlocked.
The cold wind gushed in, blowing her hair out of her face as she stepped into the night. The city of London gleamed before her eyes. Where the sky meets the earth. This was where they could see stars high above and down below.
And there he was. Waiting for her with that smug crooked grin on his stupid face.
“Hi,” he said.
Oh, how she’d missed his stupid beautiful face.
She tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket and ambled forward, still thinking him being here was too good to be true.
He lifted both hands like a surrendered criminal, both eyebrows raised as he said, “Before you get angry, I can explain.”
“Please do,” she demanded but found herself smiling.
With the wind in his hair, dimples on his cheeks and city light in his eyes, he looked absolutely breathtaking. She couldn’t hate him even if she tried.
Harry exhaled unsteadily through his mouth before mumbling, “Here I go,” and then he was on his knee in front of her.
She didn’t react when he took her cold hand and pressed it against his warm chest. She could feel his heart beating almost in sync with her own.
“Are you surprised?” he asked, chuckling nervously.
She exhaled a quiet laugh and said, “Yes, but also no.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Because I warned you this would happen?”
“Because you warned me this would happen.” Her mouth curved at the corner as she recalled the Oscar night in his LA house, both of them drunk, him on his knee like this, a promise, and how in love she’d felt, almost as much as she did in this very moment.
“Is this too early or too late?” he ventured.
“This is perfect.”
She pressed her lips into a smile, and his green eyes flickered in the semi-darkness. “Well then.” He straightened his back. “Y/N ‘Bambi’ Y/L/N.”
“Yes.” Her voice was so brittle she feared he wouldn’t hear it, her stomach twisted into triple knots, her chest fluttering and her fingers trembling.
He held her gaze as the corner of his mouth arched. “Will you…”
“I swear to God if you’re jok–”
“Marry me,” he blurted, panting as though saying those words had drained all the energy out of him. “Marry me. I want to annoy you for the rest of my life. I want every fight, every laugh, every up and down, every kiss, every touch, everything about you. I will love you until all my teeth fall out, until you finally learn to cook–”
“I’ll never learn to cook.”
“I know,” he chuckled. “Most importantly, I’ll even let you love young Leo a bit more than me, but only sometimes.”
She covered her mouth. What meant to be a laugh came out as a sob.
“I would have written a speech, but I figured you’d roast me for my bad writing, so I’d rather improvise and blame this awful proposal on it being improvised.”
“God, you’re fucking annoying,” she laughed tearily into her hand and he was laughing, too.
Quickly, he got to his feet and tugged her into him. She circled her arms around his waist, her face buried into his chest as she inhaled the scent she’d missed achingly in the last two weeks.
“My girl is such a crybaby,” he said, kissing the top of her head, her temple, her ear, her cheek, her forehead. He kissed and held her until she’d calmed down.
“Yes,” she told him at last, lifting her eyes up to his.
“Yes, you’re a crybaby?”
“Yes, you’re a dumbarse and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life roasting you and yes, I’ll sometimes love young Leo more than you but only sometimes, because you’re the greatest love of my life and I cannot imagine a life without you–”
He stopped her with his lips, his hands tenderly cupping her face as his thumbs moved slowly over her chin, cheeks and jawlines. She’d imagined that their first kiss after two weeks apart would be sexually aggressive and against-the-wall hot, but this kiss was slow and sensual and passionate and full of wanting. It felt like his promise for their future together. One that would last.
192 notes · View notes
madmadmilk · 5 years
Text
One After The One PART 2 | Tom Holland x Reader
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Tinder BIO | soft TEASER | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | >>
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: If a fool knows they’re a fool, are they really a fool? (The answer is yes.) You weigh the pros and cons of meeting T, Blurry Boy, Tom-Holland-Imposter, but curiosity tips the scales.
Warnings: Cursing, Suspicion, some Hard to Swallow Pills, and a million blurry pics
Word Count: 6K grains of sand in your boots
-
“... What?”
You throat ran dry, and you’d be lying if several things didn’t just suddenly click in your mind. The pictures, or lack of pictures. “T.” His bio. It makes all makes total sense, and then it totally doesn’t.
 None of that it made it any easier to believe the words coming out of her mouth.
“I… I think he’s using pictures of Tom Holland,” your friend exhales, repeating herself slowly.
This can’t be happening. You feel your brows furrow and face fall–– unsure of what to say or how to feel.
Tom Holland on Tinder? 
No fucking way.
“... Who..? How..?” you reach up to scratch your eyebrow, hoping to stir up something to deflect her suggestions.
“You know, Spider-Man? We just watched him in that movie?” Liza starts slowly, then pretends to shoot webs, nearly bumping into her drink. “Thwip-thwip, yeah?”
You begin frown and shake your head, you wave away her hands.
“Yeah, uhm, yeah I know who he is. But there’s no way that’s––“
She gives you a knowing and cautious looking, tilting her head towards you in question. Her lower lip juts out and she pulls out her phone. You can assume she’s looking up pictures of the actor, and soon enough she has some glamour shot of him in a maroon suit.
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He had glasses on. The same ones in that goddamn picture he had sent the other day.
That’s not...
You hold your phone search through your chats, scrolling past conversations and laughs, looking for that one picture. Your heads rest together as you swipe up slowly to show her the picture of him that he had sent… the one with the glasses.
There’s no way––
 But you don’t say anything, solely waiting for her confirmation or denial.
“Friendly neighborhood romantic…” Liza mutters softly as she holds both phones closer to herself. “Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man…”
You take it from her and zoom in; sure enough, all those details fall into place.
Fuck.
You blink, comparing the smiles. They look identical.
But?
But Tom Holland is a A-list actor, smiley, pretty, bright and out of reach. You can’t even entertain the idea of meeting a ~celebrity~ through a shitty fucking dating app–– a hook-up one at that. It just doesn’t happen.
And the thought of him wanting to spend time with you?
“No… that’s not right,” you finally manage to say. “Uhm. It can’t be Tom.”
Upon saying that out loud, you catch yourself. You find yourself believing that it could have been him. So, it’s hard to say which part you were denying.
Liza does the critical thinking for you.
“I’m sorry, babe. This guy is lying to you.”
Liza looks at you with her big brown eyes, and you can see a little bit of pity. She nods slowly and turns away, leaving you with two phones in your hands and doubt in your heart. 
“He’s using Tom Holland’s pictures, he’s not telling you the truth, and he’s not… offering you anything else about himself. You know?”
What?
You had gotten so comfortable with the idea of him, of “T.” Of “Blurry Boy,” his own person... and not with the reality of who he could be and what he’s doing to you.
The reality that he’s still really fucking suspicious, a stranger whose life and intentions you don’t actually know.
He’s definitely not Tom Holland, regretfully, and he’s probably not like any of the pictures he’s posted–– blurry, edited, whatever. And the conversations? Maybe it’s all a persona.
You don’t know a single thing about him.
Oh…
It stings more than you thought it would, even when you knew this was already a shaky start.
Liza watches you press your tongue to the side of your cheek, processing this with no argument or fight left. She feels bad having told you outright, but you both know that it’s what you would have wanted. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
She hugs your shoulders, as you slide her phone back towards her.
You let her hold you as you try to let the shame and shock pass.
Your phone pings softly on the table.
You read the message as it glows on your screen. You scoff as soon as you check it, because who else could it be?
BB: I bet you forgot to watch the episode lol
No.
You forgot you shouldn’t trust him.
-
BB: ?
BB: Hello?
BB: Hey, sorry idk if you’re busy or something right now. Just wondering how you were
BB: 👀
BB: Sorry, did I do something to make you mad?
Yes–– no. Yeah, kinda.
You pull down your phone screen, musing over the fact that more messages might appear. He’s sent something new every few hours since your talk with Liza earlier that day.
God, you’re glad you don’t have your read receipts on.
You spend some time lazing around in bed, hair up and out of your face, your pants crumpled and kicked on the floor nearby. You suck in your cheeks as you pick up your phone.
You’ve been cycling through social media all day–– not looking at anything in particular, but definitely avoiding texts from You Know Who.
You know what the messages say, you know that he’s wondering where you are and what you’re doing, but how do you face him after your fatal revelation with Liza? How do you recover? Well, you start by sorting out your buzzing thoughts….
First, you feel fucking embarrassed. There’s a burning, nauseous heat on your face, all because you didn’t realize those pictures were SO obviously fake, and that you were kinda into Whoever He Is.
Second, you feel righteous anger, for being dragged around even though he promised. Ha ha ha. He’s one hundred percent a stranger on the internet, alright. And you’re a fool for letting yourself get strung along.
But him using pictures of a well-known, well-loved, heavily-adored celebrity?? Isn’t that, like, really fucking bold? Embarrassing even?
(Almost as embarrassing as you not noticing this, but you don’t let yourself dwell on that part for too long)
The angel on your shoulder reasons that, “maybe he’s still the same person underneath this facade–– he just looks nothing like what he has posted. You could still like him no matter what he looked like, right?”
While the devil swoops in with some hard facts, laughing in pity, “A guy or person who conceals themselves with lies is not worth keeping at all.”
And in this case, you have to agree with that flaming hot truth. You’re ready to fold those fleeting feelings, shove them in a box, and kick ‘em to the curb along with that inner monologue–– but as you said in the very beginning… if you knew you were being fooled from the start, are you really getting hurt?
The goblin of curiosity pulls at your sleeve and offers this funny sentiment, “Knowing this and talking to him should be fine if you establish the fact that you know that ‘this’ isn’t real.”
And that’s where you are now, staring at your phone, at the multitude of double, triple, quadruple texts that have accumulated through the day. You exhale, and draft up a frail response.
You: hey, sorry. I was busy
His answer comes almost too soon even while you were approaching the later hours of a long day.
BB: Hey!, no, no it’s okay. Sorry if i freaked out, I was just worried
You: what, you missed me?
BB: something like that. You’re definitely the best reason I’m checking my phone nowadays, besides work
You: how sweet
BB: actually, I took your advice. I turned on Do Not Disturb at like 9. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders
You: that’s great!
BB: well, I know there’s going to be a shit ton to read in the morning, and I’m still stressed about that. But I guess I’ll get used to it. Gotta save time for myself! 😤🙏(praying emoji)
You: definitely
BB: hey, are you okay? You seem distant
You: yeah, no. I’m fine. Just a little tired
BB: haha, you’re obviously not. Are you still out? Or back home now?
You: I’m back home, but it’s been a long day
BB: oh, okay! You should head to bed then. Talk to you later?
You: yeah, I guess I should
BB: good night! Sleep tight 😊 (blush smile emoji)
You: good night
-
The next day goes by with a few more one-sided text exchanges. “Blurry Boy” was really single-handedly carrying each of those conversations–– and while they’re interesting and you’re still replying, you find it hard to bring yourself to believe any of it. It has no real weight anymore, to your life or in application.
You can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’s LYING to you. Straight to your fucking face.
You watch the conversations in the third person and are almost impressed with the lengths that he goes to keep up with the same story. No loss of momentum, the perfect amount of enthusiasm.
But by now, he must suspect something. The way he asks leading questions in an effort to get you to speak more. 
Unfortunately for him, you can’t help but be cold in response.
What you don’t realize, is that you want him to ask you what was wrong, one more time. You don’t realize that you want an opportunity to be mad. You want him to give you the chance to be. 
So, stop being so fucking nice, blurry boy.
Because you’re not fucking nice at all.
You ignore him for the evening, going out to run some errands so that your hands were actually busy. You silenced your phone as you wound down again for the night, only sparing it a glance at the last second.
There are a few messages waiting for you.
BB: hey, are we okay?
You: we?
BB: yeah, sorry if i’m jumping to conclusions but I’ve felt a little special here. If not, I get it. I’d just like to know
You: you’re definitely something
BB: what’s wrong?
You take a sharp inhale, tucking your hair behind your ears, and sitting up in bed to fully type out your feelings. Your opportunity to be angry is HERE, you can go off and spit words and fight–– 
You: you’re lying to me, right to my face. It was fine at first, but I still can’t wrap my head around why you’re doing this to me. It feels like we’re playing pretend and just ignoring the fact that there is NO TRUST here at all. I don’t know WHO you are and you haven’t given me any idea of who you could be! You’re using fake pictures and a fake name, and while it’s been fun… there’s nothing here. There’s nowhere “we” could go from here. If you want to continue, I’m going to need SOMETHING from you, if you expect anything from me
You drop your phone in your lap with a satisfying thump. You turn away, stretching and rolling your shoulders back in triumph.
Take that, “T.”
You shut your eyes as you imagine this mystery dude opening his phone to read out an arrow you’re shooting straight at this heart. (And it’s not the good kind). You can’t ignore that it hurts your own feelings it’s a little, not in a way that’s personal but…it’s hollowing. You didn’t know him personally, no, not at all, but a shade of it must have been real. There’s a real person in there, somewhere.
You see the message sit alone, untouched. There’s no bouncing dots like usual, no rapid silly response or praise or affection. And that’s annoying. And that’s annoying that that’s annoying.
But you got the last word in, so, what else can you ask for.
You nudge your phone further away, trying not to expect more. Siting in silence for a beat, pinching your cheeks. God, you hate this self-absorbed, attention-seeking behavior–– but you can’t help it.
You let out an exasperated whine, shaking your body to let go of the lingering vibes. You pick up your phone and snuggle back down into bed, ready to sleep after some idle scrolling. 
You’re ready to not have to worry about this thrilling 5-day experience, sure to be embarrassed about it later but… maybe you can make a story out of it. Though, that would only come after a long wink and the accompaniment of alcohol. God, you don’t even want to think about how Liza has probably already told K… Ugh!
PING!
You scramble as you hear the shrill bell tone. Your phone is bouncing in your hands as you half sit-up again. 
A message. 
You want to ignore it–– but who are you kidding.
BB: can i call you?
You stare at it. 
Is this an olive branch? Is he reaching out to you to show you that he really wants this? That he cares enough to finally share a fucking piece of himself?
Regardless, the call can only prove that he’s not the guy in the pictures. It’ll only show you that he’s just a guy. If that.
You rake your mind to remember what Tom Holland’s speaking voice sounded like, and immediately kick yourself for even thinking it could actually fucking be him. There’s just no fucking way. 
But let’s see how far off this guy is.
You: only for a second.
Your heart thuds unevenly as you prepare yourself–– only you have no idea what to expect. There’s nothing to go off of.
And within the minute that you sent your message, your phone rings. A blank contact comes up, “Blurry Boy” in white letters. You listen to the shrill ringtone, only picking up before it ends.
“Hey.”
There it is, his voice for the first time. It’s sleepy and thick, croaky even. He doesn’t sound like the squeaky and lively Tom Holland you knew from the silver screen. Though, it’s a stretch to even compare the two at all.
“Hey,” you speak demurely. Cool, calm, collected. And you wait. You want him to bring it up himself.
“What, not excited about our first call?”
Your face warms at his straightforwardness–– briefly crumbling under the pressure. Over text you could easily sort yourself out, but here…. you couldn’t hesitate.
“Well, I’m just glad you don’t sound like a 16 year-old boy.”
He laughs breezily, slightly muffled through the phone.
“Hahaha, I told you. I’m 23.”
“Mhm, well the way your voice cracked there really proves it.”
“Hey, come on now.” He laughs again, and you can hear rustling sheets and the faint chatter of music.
His laugh is quite pleasant, raspy and boyish. Familiar even. You want to imagine that he’s wooed by your maturity and confidence, by the way that a lull settles. But it’s more likely that he’s gathering his thoughts, or collecting his courage.
“This…. doesn’t prove anything,” you start slowly. You purse your lips, nervous ticks coming alive even through the phone.
For the moment, you feel shy, but shove it when you remember that he’s lying.
“I still don’t know who you are––“
“I know. I know, and I’m sorry–– I can’t tell you yet, but I trust you.”
“Yeah, you’ve said something like that before.”
”Uhm, yeah–– I… I wanted to call you to show you that I’m real and I care about you.... and I wanted to hear your voice too.”
There was sincerity there, but you don’t let yourself fall for it.
“But how long will it be before I get to see your real face? –– Without meeting you in a dark alley all alone.”
“Hm?”
“My friends are convinced that … you’re lying to me. In more ways that one. With the profile, with the pictures, the name.”
“Oh–– you told you friends–– uhm... Do you think I’m lying?”
“Maybe not all of it, but It’s a big world out there. And–– I don’t know.”
“But seeing my face would clear it up for you?”
He breathes deeply, and you can hear him clear his throat. The sheets rustle again.
“It’d be a start.”
“Mhm.”
“Make or break it, actually,” you manage to chuckle, offering him that relief. You wonder if physical attraction would be a big factor— like obviously, it would be something but…. you’ve come to know him as a person. So, do you care?
(The answer is yes, you do care, but poetically, you could enjoy his company just like this.)
BUT he is lying; if it’s not about one thing, it’s the other.
“It would definitely make me feeling a little bit better. To know that you’re not a monster under the bed, or some creep–– arguable but still.”
“I told you, I’m hot. You’ve got nothing to worry about,” he laughs with a bit of edge, treading the line.
You laugh too, tension easing. He seems like an easygoing guy, willing to be the butt of a joke with confidence.
“That has a totally different effect, hearing you say that out loud. It’s still weird.”
“Well, what do you think I look like? Based off–– based off what you have.”
“Well, I hardly have anything so…. I don’t know. I want to say ‘tall, dark, and handsome,’ but I’m pretty sure you have… fair skin, brown hair and… nice shoulders? That’s all I got.”
“You’re 3 for 3 so far.”
“You’re just saying that.”
Pause.
“Sorry it’s taking so long.”
“Yeah, you’re weird.”
You’ve already flipped the a million possibilities of who he could be. Nothing would even surprise you anymore. But listening to his soothing voice has calmed you like the way his words always have. The conversation flows over you, and you slide deep into your bed.
You pull the covers up over your shoulders, swimming in your thoughts. It shouldn’t be that hard to reveal himself, should it? You’re both investing time into this–– reckless and blind as it may be. You would need to know eventually. You’re not being unreasonable.
Right?
“If…. If I show you my face, properly, will you keep it a secret?” There’s an anxious tone in his light voice. Every syllable ended with uncertainty, as if he didn’t believe what he was saying.
“If you want…? Why?”
“I just… you just need to. Please?”
“Yeah, uhm, I can do that.”
“Thank you,” and there he lets out an airy sigh of relief. You hear rustling again, as if he fell back on the bed. Ha?
You laugh in excitement at his small promise, you rub your eye with your knuckle as you tease,
“What, are you a celebrity or something?”
“How did you know?”
“Hahaha, shut uppp, T. I’m joking–– I just want to match a proper face to the person I’m talking to,” your laugh trails off. You swallow softly, “I have your voice now, so… help me piece it together now, please?”
He stays silent, making you second guess the sincerity that you just showed him. Before you can take it back he starts slow and quiet,
“If I do tell you who I am, would you go on a date with me?”
Your heart squeezes, and your clench your toes. This should be no surprise or celebration, to be honest, this is the point of it all. To find love, or at least the next lay.
“Well, that depends if you’re my type,” coy, coy, play it coy.
“I’m everybody’s type.” His voice rolls, deep, rough, ringing in your ears.
You blink, your cheek lifting in a half pointed smile. You return his tone,
“Ok, well, then I dare you. Show me.”
“I will. Are you free on Friday–– Tomorrow?”
“Already setting up a date? You’re getting waaaay ahead of yourself, dude.”
Pause.
“But yeah, sure, I might be free tomorrow.”
“Great,” he laughs at your switching moods. You feel that heat on your face again, shutting your eyes tight, and he offers a bit more, 
“Meet me by the beach? 9 PM?”
You scoff softly, he’s pushing it. It’s a public space, kind of not. It’ll be cool, breezy, dark… secluded.
But you could easily let someone know where you’re gonna be, and when to expect you back. Fair enough?
“Hmmm, send me a picture of yourself and I’ll let you know if I can make it.”
“Huh?”
“Think of it as insurance. Or a sneak peak,” you laugh softly, turning your cheek to rub you nose against your pillow.
He lets out a long, dry chuckle, taking a deep breath. You can hear him settle and stretch himself out too, “First thing in the morning. And text me back.”
“Sure!”
“Then... I’ll leave you to it. Good night, Y/N. So lovely speaking to you.” His voice is so heavy and warm, so close to your ear.
You’re almost disappointed that he cut the conversation short. A dark cloud of doubt looms over; maybe he needs time to fabricate a believable photo, maybe he’s nervous, maybe he’s getting cold feet.
You stumble on on what to say as you snap yourself back–– the worrying could be saved for tomorrow. For now, you’ll both savor this short, sweet moment. 
“Likewise. Good night, Blurry Boy.” 
You hear him exhale softly, and pull the phone away from your ear. You look at it in your hands, feeling your lips purse. Your face is flushed hot, and your stomach flips in anticipation.
Tomorrow.
-
“No FUCKING way,”
You open your phone first thing in the morning and... low and behold… he actually fucking sent you a picture of Tom Holland. Like he really had the guts to fucking do it. 
Tumblr media
Come on, Blurry Boy.
This is not real. No way, no way, no fucking WAY.
You heart falls at the thought of losing this ~friendship~ or whatever it is. You put time into this and now its… kind of falling apart at the seams.
You hold your squished cheeks and spin on your heel, wondering if you should show it to Liza or Ry–– to share the incredulous feelings but… You remember The Promise.
It’s not that… big of a deal, especially since this scenario is fake as fuck, but you’d feel guilty. (damn.)
And also ashamed.
You straight up got fucking catfished.
Like he really had you in the snares.
There’s no way that he’s Tom Holland, and even if he “was” there’s no way that Tom would be in your city. And even though he’s a fucking liar–– keeping this a secret for another day or two… wouldn’t hurt anyone.
God.
You fall back onto your couch, legs hanging over the edge as you stare at the picture. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, wondering what to say…
The words come quick.
You: what the fuck, are you joking?
Come on, he had to be pulling your leg. Or expecting you to reply like that. You dont’ know what to think, especially when it takes him an hour or two to reply. Uncharacteristic of him.
BB: I’m really not
You: dude. Shut up. You’re not Tom Holland
BB: I am. And I can prove it. Come see me tonight, please
You have to scoff, nearly throwing your phone across the room. UHM, this has sirens and red flags written all over it. Akskdfdjhfad, like??? There aren’t even words to describe this frustration and obvious deceit.
You: Uhm, no no no. Call me right now
You were more than peeved now, honestly. He promised you honesty and some vulnerability, and this is just fucking stupid.
BB: I’m sorry, I really can’t. I’m out for work right now. Meetings all day. But I PROMISE you that I’m not lying.
Ok, funny. That’s exactly what a liar would say.
You don’t bother replying back, not sure what to even say besides, “Fuck you.” But you figure that silence might be more of a sting than any words you could conjure up.
How many tricks would you fall for? This is stupid, this isn’t fair. There’s nothing to redeem here, it’s over.
He can’t just drop a tremendous bombshell, and act like it’s real??
Who the fuck does he think he is?
There’s no way he’s fucking Spider-Man, dude.
There’s just no fucking way.
-
FRIDAY NIGHT, AROUND 6 PM
BB: So… what do you think? Will I see you later? 🤞 (fingers crossed emoji)
You: I can’t believe you’re still messaging me and making jokes. This is cruel, dude
BB: I know it seems crazy, but I’m not lying. I can explain everything! But in person would be the easiest way. I’m still running around the city, but meet me at 9
You: bullshit
BB: My name is Tom Holland. I’m taking a break in this city, and I’m looking for someone to spend time with. But I HAVE to lie low. And trust you and I want to see you and I want to spend time with you
You: You know this is fucking insanity right ?? I can’t trust you. 
BB: I know, I’m sorry. But I’ll answer anything you want if you come see me
You: i don’t know
BB: well, will i see you later tonight?
BB: let me know if you can make it. I’ll be there regardless but…
BB: Hope you see you there, Y/N.
You put your phone down squinting. You’re down for taking risks and meeting new people and trying new things–– but this whole thing is just wrong. This is too unreal to even entertain. No matter how many times you say it… It won’t sink in.
He says he can’t call, he can’t send anymore pictures, he can’t facetime–– what’s with the grand reveal and security clearance? 
He’s probably gonna eat your fucking face off, that’s why.
You look back at your feet, covered in fuzzy socks. Would you even get out of this blanket burrito to meet A Guy?
(Much less, a guy who definitely wants to wear your skin.)
It’s after classes and work and your social life, you don’t have anything planned for today. Your friends are off on dates with one another doing god knows what, and you’re at home comfy in your holey sweatpants with nothing but the warmth of your laptop and chatter of a TV show you haven’t been paying attention to.
Sigh.
There’s nothing to lose–– you chant over and over. Sometimes, that mentality is what gets you to move forward and try new things. Or gets you into trouble.
Haha.
We all know you’re going to get off your ass and go, but not before checking in with a few people. ‘Cos, you’re not entirely stupid.
“Time for a Tea Party,” you mumble to yourself. You resign to text the more rational of your friends, Liza and Ry. 
Liza has the perfect amount of encouragement and honesty, while Ryan has the best common sense and gives expert.
Sorry, K, you’re too protective and sorry, Sam, you’re way to fucking chaotic.
GC: TEA PARTY
Liza: Ur actually going to MEET HIM??? 😱
Ry: you said you weren’t going to get into trouble
You: is he trouble?? Is this bad??
Ry: YES. he could be anyone. Do you even know what he looks like?
You: … not really. He hasn’t told me much about anything. But, this is like a chance to find out?
Liza: oh my god you should go. Just go and get it over with
Ry: I don’t know… this doesn’t sound like a great idea.
Liza: i guess, one of us could come with Y/N?
You: nah, I’ll be fine alone
Ry: you sure? We could hang out somewhere in the back or something
You: no, it’s okay. I’ll just let you now when I go and drop my location with you
Liza: Phew! This is going to be SO messy. I love it. Can’t wait to hear back from you.
Liza: If we hear back from you 👀 (side eye emoji)
You: Ha ha, this is my actual life you know??
Ry: you only live once
Liza: And pls live long enough to tell your friends what happens
You: so supportive
Liza: love you! Wear your cute undies just in case!
Ry: bring pepper spray
You: Got it
You’re thrown into a frenzy. It’s like 7:45 PM now, and you haven’t showered yet, you haven’t decided what you’re going to wear or how you’re going to get there–– and more importantly, you haven’t fucking texted him back yet. 
And he hasn’t sent you anything else.
Oh, the mind games.
The way he’s making himself sad and vulnerable, but mysterious and coy.
While you get to choose to be the sucker, or the loser.
Lose, lose with great odds.
You turn on the shower, stepping into the warm steam to clear your mind.
It was made after all, you were going to meet him.
-
Yeah, you were going. But you still haven’t said anything. 
You don’t want him to know–– so you could totally just walk the other way if you see something that you don’t like. 
I mean, he knew what you looked like though. Hell, he even compared you to his ex-girlfriend, so… might as well keep the upper-hand and peer from the shadows first.
Or give yourself a head start to run away.
Though, running through sand would definitely be a big fucking obstacle.
You reach the end of the beach, standing atop beaten wooden stairs. The breeze stings your cheek, and it’s a lot colder than you thought it would be.
You’re wearing some dark high-waisted jeans and a simple pair of slip-on sneakers. You didn’t exactly know what “this” was, a date or a revelation or a sacrifice, so, naturally, you didn’t know what to wear.
Haha.
You hug yourself, your thin white billowy top fluttering lightly in the wind. Your fingers clutch at the flowery-embroidered designs on the sleeves, looking a lot like a pure maiden in distress. (Cos you sure as hell are.) You wore light makeup, and your hair was still a bit damp. The salty air was turning it coarse and wavy–– no complaints about that.
You paired this all with the bravest face you could muster
T, Blurry Boy, Tom Holland Imposter dropped this location with you, and figures that it’s on a secluded section of the beach.
You follow well-trodden paths, softly listening to music as you make your way. One earbud in. You should be thinking about a million things right now, but your mind is totally blank.
No expectations, nothing to go off of. 
As you near your destination, you look out at the water. The ocean is dark and looming; you can hear her soft waves crash over your soft music. The moon casts a silvery glow, and you can’t see colors anymore. Just white, gray, and black. Shining and still. 
It feels calm, like you’re watching a silent movie. Like you’re alone.
Only you’re not.
You see “him.”
A lone shape kicking sand with hands in their pockets. Their hood was up and back facing you. 
Great.
You hang back in the distance, weighing your options. You could still leave–– fear fully settling in after you see an actual person where they said they would be. He seems… harmless enough, like a regular guy and–– ah, fuck.
He turns around.
You see him, seeing you.
He pauses, then leans forward to get a better look.
You freeze too, holding your breath.
There’s nowhere left to duck and hide. It’s just you and some piles of fucking sand.
And him.
Oh, god.
The figure raises their hand, fucking waving. Then they start moving towards you, picking their feet up high to trek over the sand.
Fucking hell, you could turn away now but you don’t. You let out a shrill, grating laugh and square up to meet him halfway.
Their shape isn’t getting any clearer–– especially now that they’re facing away from the moon. His face is shadowed and hard to see, but you get close enough to see him.
I––
“Hey!” he excited calls out, catching the shine of his smile…. And…. you’re speechless.
Jaw to the floor, eyes as wide as dinner plates, speechless.
He keeps talking, smiling with his eyes crinkled as he gets very very close to you. You could smell his musky cologne, mixed with ocean spray, and disbelief. His voice is low and coated with tired happiness,
“Oh my god, I’m so glad you came.”
His voice breaks at the end, broken in more ways that you can understand at this moment. You’re just so confused––??
He can’t stop grinning, eyebrows sloping downward as he lets out an airy sigh of relief. He looks up towards the sky for a moment, moonlight catching on his cheeks and nose. Glimmering.
Wait, wait, wait––
When he comes back, he does another thing you can barely wrap you head around–– he hugs you.
He reaches forward, giving you ample time to turn away (but you don’t), and hugs over your shoulders. You felt a human weight on you, the side of his hoodie smushing against your face. 
And… you slowly hug back around his waist. Your left hand awkwardly pats his back as he mumbles,
“Sorry, this is too much. Sorry, God. Thank you.” 
He doesn’t make any motion of moving away despite his words. You can feel his warmth, and slightly desperation in the embrace; something that feels a lot more intimate than you were prepared for.
“Thank you.”
“It… It’s okay,” you murmur back, doused in shock. And shock is better than terror, right?
You pull away, squinting your eyes and making a face. His hands fall off your shoulders, and quickly shove themselves into his pockets. He gives you a moment. A well needed moment. When you open yourself back up, your brain is able to process a few more things.
He’s standing there in some dark denim jeans, clad in converses, which seems like a horrible decision for the beach, a dark green hoodie pulled up over his head, another horrible decision when you’re meeting someone for the first time on a dark beach, and a denim jacket, enviable. His face is softened and friendly, lips pointed in a gracious smile, while his dark eyes twinkle even in the shade.
He senses your uncertainty as you eyes fan over his face. Your jaw was still hanging open too. He pulls his hood down, ruffling soft brown hair in an inadvertent dramatic reveal. Nice.
He scratches behind his ear, still wearing a gleeful expression,
“So… what do you think?”
What do you think???? What do you think about this situation?? His hair??? The entire man in front of you???
Or the fucking fact that he was who he SAID he was???
I can’t believe this is–– this is––
All manners and social cues and sense exit the building as you stammer brainlessly,
“You’re! You’re–– You’re Tom––”
He nods, confidently, you note. And tilts his head, locks falling over,
“I am.”
“You are.” You breath out, maybe smiling now, you’re not sure. You can’t exactly feel your face anymore. 
Your head tilts in the same direction as his, your hair falling over your collar. His eyes follow those fallen strands, before locking back with yours,
“I’m Tom Holland. ‘I told you so,’ and it’s nice to formally meet you.”
Tom Holland.
The brunette bites his lip before smiling neatly as he gets close to your again. No personal space with this guy. He sticks a hand out for you to shake.
You’re looking from the outside in as you take his hand, bobbing softly. You’re trained on the sight of his thumb holding the side of your hand, rubbing softly.
You find your way back to his face.
Exactly like the movies.
The wind blows and he turns to the side, showing you the sharp cut of his jaw, and his eye-shut-tight expression.
Better, actually.
“H… Hey, Tom. Nice to meet you too,” you finally fumble. You shake your head slightly, trying to regain that calm, collected, confidence you practiced so hard on the way here. You want to say more, but you can’t fathom what would come next, 
“Uhm, sorry, I’m… still processing.”
Tom nods, bobbing his whole body, as he takes a step forward. His smile points devilishly, way too easily. His eyebrows twitch before settling, as he lowers his head, hitting you with some sultry jaw-clenching and puppy dog eyes.
“Take your time.”
You laugh, tonguing your cheek. He does too, and you share a starry stare.
The waves crash in the distance, a white noise you were glad to have. A welcome distraction from your loudly beating heart. Something to close the gap of silence––
Only Tom couldn’t handle the lapse of quiet, after all, he gets paid $$$ by the minute. He starts conversationally, knowing exactly how to stir up your already swirling emotions.
Light, teasing, reeling you in, the brilliant boy flashes you a toothy grin and spares not a single ounce of chill,
“So… am I your type?”
Holy fucking fuck shit god damn.
You just got catfished by Tom Holland.
-
A/N: WELL, reader has been caught in the net. What do you think, is “Tom Holland” /our/ type? Adfasjdl, the whole concept of this is so funny lol. Can u imagine seeing the man you saw movies screens… waiting for you in person??? Unfathomable. Anyway, sorry the past two chapters have just been build up,, there’s gonna be a lot of mushy stuff coming up soon. Thanks for your patience!
It’s really hard to find time to write, but yeah taking smaller chunks like this makes it easier for me. Expect updates every 1-2 weeks, usually around Sat-Mon nights. Thanks so much for keeping up!
And you know what to do, please like and comment and reblog! It keeps me going :)
All my love,
Madmadmilk 🥰
** i do NOT keep up with a taglist. track #one after the one to keep up with the updates, or check out my masterlist! thanks!
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antiadvil · 4 years
Text
Somebody to Love
summary: Dan and Phil’s first meeting in 2009, loosely inspired by the song Somebody to Love by Queen
rating: PG13
wc: ~3k
notes: for the @phandomreversebang! art provided by @anironsidh and betad by @awkwardest-sam. writing this fic was... a journey, and they were a really great and supportive team the whole time and I really appreciate them <3
read under the cut or on ao3
Dan’s train was running late, and he couldn’t stop his anxiety from running absolutely wild. He hadn’t missed it, had he? Maybe it had showed up early and left before he got there. Maybe it had showed up while he wasn’t paying attention and left already. Maybe it had-
The train pulled into the station. Dan relaxed his shoulders. He wasn’t going to miss his train. He managed to stay calm for a few minutes after he boarded until a sudden new thought hit him.
What if he missed his stop?
He groaned, letting his head drop into his arms. He couldn’t even get a ten minute break from his ridiculous thoughts.
He took a deep breath, trying to focus on something else. To try to distract himself, he pulled out his pen and notebook to work on a few video scripts.
He had finally gotten into a groove, allowing himself to forget his worries, when the train lurched as it approached its first stop, sending Dan’s pen and notebook spilling to the floor. He picked up the notebook, but his pen had already slid out of sight.
Great. Looks like he was going to have to find some other way of passing the remaining two and a half hours of his train ride.
He stared out the window, trying to calm his nerves, but his leg was bouncing up and down almost uncontrollably. He put his hand on his knee, forcing it down.
It was hard to believe that after months of nonstop texting and skyping, he was about to meet the boy from his computer screen in person. He still remembered the first time they had spoken, when he had finally gotten up the courage to message that cool youtuber on twitter.
He had sent him a message about a Queen song, and was shocked to receive a reply. He still was a little bit shocked every time Phil messaged him. Every time, he thought Phil would get tired of him. Every time, Phil kept coming back.
They had talked about their favorite band for hours that night. Then the conversation had shifted to themselves, their families, their hopes and dreams.
They still talked about music sometimes. It was a nice excuse to be in constant contact.
His fingers itched to text Phil, the way they always did when he was anxious, but he and Phil had been trying to stick to Skype lately. Last month’s phone bill had not been fun to pay. He shouldn’t text Phil until he arrived, to tell him where he was so they could meet.
His leg was bouncing again. He sighed in frustration, wishing he hadn’t lost his pen.
He bought a magazine to flip through. It was surprisingly entertaining. He managed to lose himself in it for nearly half an hour before he checked the time again.
Fuck the phone bill. Dan gave in and pulled out his phone. nervous (^_^;), he sent.
good, Phil sent back nearly instantly.
good?
im nervous too and im not allowed to be the only one
Dan laughed. His phone buzzed again
in a few hours we can be nervous 2gether
Dan couldn’t think of anything to send in response to that other than a smiley face.
now go away u spork remember ur phone bill
Dan let a smile break across his face. Phil did that to him frequently. fine, Dan sent quickly.
He returned to his magazine, calmer this time. It was silly to be so worried. It was just Phil. Phil, who he had known for months now. Phil, who he wanted to meet. Phil, who wanted to meet him.
Everything was going to be alright.
When his train arrived in the station, Dan climbed out, letting his eyes search for Phil. Quickly, they landed on a tall, pale boy with dark hair wearing a green plaid shirt. “Phil!” he shouted.
The boy brightened, looking to find the source of the noise. “Dan!”
“Phil,” Dan said again, running towards him, and the other boy was running too, and suddenly they were in each other’s arms, finally, after all these months of imagining.
Phil was holding Dan tighter than he’d ever been held, but it didn’t hurt. It was one of the nicest things Dan had ever felt.
After what felt like an eternity, Phil pulled back. “How was the train ride?”
“Good,” Dan said, his smile so wide he thought his face might split in two. “How was your bus ride?”
“Someone recognized me,” Phil pouted.
Dan laughed. “You’re a proper celebrity now.”
“I don’t want to be a proper celebrity,” Phil whined.
“You’d be a good celebrity.”
“How is someone a good celebrity?”
Dan shrugged. “You’re cute.”
Phil rolled his eyes. “Is that all?”
“Yes.” Dan giggled, though he hadn’t meant to. It was silly, he thought, a nineteen year old giggling over a boy.
Phil was smiling, too, though, and a bit of pink was showing through his pale skin on his cheeks, so he must not mind.
“Where to first?” Dan asked.
“Starbucks,” Phil said, bouncing up and down. “Starbucks, Dan, we have to-”
Dan laughed. “You’re such a sugar fiend.”
“C’mon!” Phil tugged at his hand.
Dan looked down at their hands in shock, surprised to find them tangled together.
“Sorry,” Phil said sheepishly, dropping Dan’s hand.
Dan wiped his hand on his jeans, then immediately cursed himself. He didn’t want Phil to think it was because of him, his hand was just sweaty. “No, you’re good- um.”
“Yeah. No. We’re in public, I should have-” Phil stuffed his hands into his pockets. “So, uh, Starbucks?”
“Starbucks,” Dan agreed, gesturing for Phil to lead the way.
“Right,” Phil said, heading down the street. Dan followed. “What are you planning to get?”
Dan shrugged. “Whatever you get. You’re the expert.”
“Well, I haven’t actually decided what I’m getting yet,” Phil explained.
“Oh really? What are the frontrunners?” Dan asked.
Phil spent the rest of their walk explaining his various drink options, each sugarier than the last. “So I think maybe the caramel macchiato. Maybe? I can’t decide.”
Dan interrupted before Phil could go through his list again from the beginning. “You should get the caramel macchiato.”
“You think so?”
“I think so,” Dan confirmed, opening the door to the starbucks.
Phil bought their coffees, over Dan’s protests. “You’re the one who came to visit me,” he said. “Let me do this for you.”
Dan gave in. “I’ll buy you coffee if you ever come to Reading.”
“Deal.” Phil took a long sip of his coffee and let out a long, relieved breath afterwards. “So good.”
“The caffeine or the sugar?”
“Yes,” Phil said.
Dan took a sip of his own drink. It was good. Maybe not as good as Phil thought it was, but good.
“I’m trying to cut back on coffee,” Phil said mournfully. “I only had three cups this morning.”
Dan snorted. “Only three?”
“Yes.” Phil stared glumly at his already half empty cup of coffee.
Dan shook his head in mock sympathy. “You poor thing.”
Phil finished his coffee with disturbing speed. Dan did his best to keep up, but to avoid burning his tongue, he had to finish about ten minutes after Phil.
Phil’s tongue must be nearly burned off from how quickly he had
Dan should stop thinking about Phil’s tongue.
“Where do you want to go now?” Phil asked, saving Dan’s mind from going to some places it really shouldn’t be going right now.
“Can we just walk around for a bit?” Dan asked.
“Sure!” Phil was bouncing on his toes, already ready to move.
Dan wondered if he was as thrumming with nervous energy as Dan was. “Lead the way, then.”
Phil knew his way through Manchester better than he let on, pointing out a few shops and landmarks he recognized along their walk. “There’s so much to do here. We’ll have to come back sometime.”
Dan absentmindedly agreed. It was nice, the thought that this would happen again. That he could come back. That Phil didn’t seem to hate him yet.
Dan almost missed the apple store when they walked past, but he saw it out of the corner of his eye and stopped. “Wait,” he said, “I want to post a selfie.”
“Ooh,” Phil said. “Good idea.” He opened the door and gestured for Dan to follow him.
They got lucky when they were immediately able to snag a free laptop. Phil opened photobooth and messed with his hair in the camera. Dan did his best to straighten out his hair, and struck a pose.
Phil put on a (ridiculous) facial expression and took a photo.
Dan stepped up to take a look. “Wait,” he said, stepping back. “My hair looks wrong. Can we retake it?”
Phil rolled his eyes, but stepped back into his pose to take a new picture.
About 20 pictures later, they had finally taken one Dan was satisfied with. He logged into his dailybooth account quickly, doing his best to ignore the line of people growing behind him.
“There,” he said, pressing post and logging out of his account.
He did his best not to make eye contact with anyone in the line behind them as they left the apple store.
They found a bench in a nearby park and spent the next few hours people watching, making up stories about the people they saw.
“She’s in an unhappy marriage,” Dan whispered. “She’s having an affair with him.” He pointed to the man across the playground from her, where her daughter was playing.
Phil took a bite of the sandwich he had bought from a nearby cafe. “Does her daughter know?”
“Of course not, Phil. She’s like, five.”
“Just hoping for maximum drama,” Phil said around another mouthful of sandwich.
Dan grimaced. “Stop chewing with your mouth open. It’s gross.”
Phil swallowed. “Your mum’s gross.”
Dan hit Phil on the back. “Take that back.”
“You first.”
“No.”
“Then I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.” Phil looked almost sad.
Dan snorted. “Let’s disagree to disagree.”
“How does that work?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t put much thought into it yet.”
Phil laughed, taking the last bite out of his sandwich and brushing a few crumbs out of his lap.
Dan checked the time. “Is there anything else you want to do before we go back to your place?”
“Well,” Phil said. “I, uh. Have a reservation for after dinner.”
“A reservation?” Dan looked down at his clothes. He hoped it wasn’t too nice.
“The sky bar,” Phil said. “I don’t know if you know it, I’m sorry, I-”
Phil looked so anxious. “No,” Dan said, doing his best to sound reassuring. “It’s fine, just… unexpected.”
Phil smiled in relief. “We should get going if we’re going to make it on time.”
When they got to the sky bar, Dan looked at the menu and tried not to panic at the prices.
“I’ll pay,” Phil said quietly. “Don’t worry about it.”
That only made things slightly better.
Phil must have noticed that the worry didn’t fall from his face, because he tried to reassure Dan again. “Really, it’s fine. Get whatever you want.”
Dan nodded, but he scanned the menu for the cheapest items and ordered those anyway. Phil had just graduated uni; he wasn’t exactly rolling in money, and Dan didn’t want to feel like any more of a burden on him than he already did.
It didn’t matter. His drink tasted incredible.
“Is it alright?” Phil asked, still anxious.
“It’s perfect,” Dan said. It was. The sun was beginning to set, and the view from this high up was beautiful. The view next to him was even prettier.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring out the windows and watching the sun bathe everything in a warm, golden glow.
Dan reached for Phil’s hand under the table. Phil reached back.
***
It was dark when they boarded the bus back to Rossendale. The bus was nearly empty, but they chose two seats in the back, as far away from everyone else as possible.
“Busses are weird.” Dan yawned.
Phil giggled. “It’s not even late. Are you tired?”
Dan glared. “Shut up.”
Phil stuck out his tongue. “Make me.”
Dan hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Shut up,” he managed to squeak out.
Phil sat back in his seat, smiling in satisfaction.
“Shut up,” Dan whined, poking him.
“You sound like a broken record. Do you say anything other than shut up?”
“Shut-” Dan stopped. “Yes,” he insisted.
Phil smirked. “Prove it.”
“I’ve said so many things other than shut up today.”
Phil shrugged. “If you say so.”
“I do.” Dan leaned back into his seat, trying to project confidence.
Phil shrugged again. “I believe you,” he said, with the air of someone who absolutely did not believe the person they were talking to.
Dan sighed, and changed the subject. “How long is the ride?”
“About half an hour, hopefully,” Phil said.
His train ride had been much longer than that. He could survive this. Especially with Phil with him.
“I met a boy on the train once, you know,” Phil said, startling Dan out of his thoughts.
Dan looked up, slightly confused. Why was Phil telling him about some other boy? “You did?”
“Yeah,” Phil laughed. “He was really cute, too. We spent the whole train ride talking, and it turned out he actually lived really close by. This was when I was in uni. But anyway, at the end, he asked me for my number, so I gave it to him, and then-” Phil paused to hide his face.
“Then what?” Dan asked, perplexed.
“I texted him,” Phil said, muffled.
“What’d you say?”
“I asked him if he was asking me out,” Phil said, still with his face hidden in his arms.
“Was he?” Dan asked, though he suspected the answer by now.
“No,” Phil whined, lifting his head up. “He wasn’t. He was straight.”
Dan couldn’t help a horrified giggle.
“It’s not funny,” Phil said, though a smile was starting to peek through his carefully composed sulk.
Dan wanted to stop laughing, he really did, but he just couldn’t. His giggle grew until it was the dumb hyena laugh he always felt self-conscious of, but with Phil sitting next to him, he didn’t mind.
Phil was starting to laugh a little bit too. He buried his head in Dan’s shoulder to hide it. “You’re the worst.” He landed a half-hearted punch on Dan’s ribs.
Dan just laughed harder. “That’s awful, oh my god.”
“So stop laughing!” Phil whined.
Dan finally managed to quiet his laugh. “It’s a good thing, though, really. Because now you have me instead of stupid bus boy.”
“You’re so much better than stupid bus boy,” Phil whispered, reaching for Dan’s hand to give it a quick, reassuring squeeze.
The warmth of his hands lingered even after they were gone.
***
Phil’s house was dark and quiet when they finally arrived. Dan didn’t know what else he had expected. Phil’s parents weren’t home; that was the whole reason he was visiting right now.
Dan declined politely when Phil asked if he wanted a full house tour, instead choosing to dump his backpack on Phil’s bedroom floor without asking first. He thought, halfway through doing it, that maybe he should have checked first, but Phil didn’t seem to mind, so he just left it.
Phil’s bedroom looked different than it did on Skype. Less grainy.
Phil dropped himself onto his bed, gesturing for Dan to follow him. “Wanna play some music?”
“Sure,” Dan said, sitting down next to Phil. “Queen, probably, it’s the least we can do to thank them for bringing us together.”
Phil laughed. “Not because they’re good?”
“No. Just because gay.”
“Freddie Mercury would be proud,” Phil said.
“He probably would be,” Dan admitted.
“What song?”
Dan thought about it a bit, chewing at the inside of his lip. “Somebody To Love,” he finally said.
Phil grinned. “Excellent choice.”
“Thank you,” Dan said, basking in the glow of Phil’s approval as the piano started playing. “I can play this on piano, you know.”
“You can?”
“Yeah. I can play most Queen songs.”
Phil tilted his head. “You’ll have to show me sometime.”
“But you don’t have a keyboard.”
Phil tilted his head. “Guess I’ll have to visit you sometime.”
Dan couldn’t help the nervous thrill that ran through his stomach. “A shame, really. You have no other option.”
“I’ll survive.”
Dan hummed along to the chorus.
Phil poked him. “Just humming? Coward.”
Dan startled. “What?”
“I want to hear you sing.” Phil’s eyes were twinkling with the slightest bit of mischief.
“No. Absolutely not.” Dan crossed his arms.
“Fine,” Phil said. “I guess I’m going to have to sing myself.”
“That’s almost worse,” Dan said.
Phil pouted. “I’m a great singer.”
“I’m sure.”
Phil began to sing along, his voice warbling.
“Shush,” Dan said. “I want to hear Freddie Mercury.”
Phil sighed, but switched to dramatically lip syncing instead.
“Much better,” Dan said, trying to control his facial expression so Phil couldn’t tell that he was being a little bit cute right now.
Phil’s performance was so over the top it was honestly funny, until he reached the end of the song. He sang along, softly this time, looking directly at Dan in a way that gave him goosebumps.
Dan couldn’t help but look away.
“How was my performance?” Phil asked.
“It was alright,” Dan said, leaning back on his elbows.
“Oh yeah?”
Dan sat back up. “Not too relatable, though.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve already found somebody to love,” Dan said, smiling at Phil.
“Really,” Phil said, teasing. “Who?”
Dan felt his cheeks warm. “You probably don’t know him. He goes to a different school,” he managed.
Phil laughed. “I like you too.”
Dan didn’t think it was even possible for his cheeks to be any warmer. “I guess you’re kind of cool too.”
“Shut up,” Phil said, pulling Dan closer.
“Make me,” Dan said.
“Okay,” Phil said, promptly kissing him.
Dan shut up for quite a while after that.
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ptergwen · 5 years
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warnings: nope
summary: peter takes you to a new year’s eve party
a/n: hey hi i hope everyone’s christmas was lovely if you celebrated! this is gonna be my last post of the year which is so ??? i just want to say thank you for reading my work and in general being so sweet to me always. i really do appreciate all of you and i’ll talk to you next decade! and as always enjoy <3
peter is nervous. not that that’s anything he isn’t used to; being nervous is one of his personality traits. but this kind of nervous? it’s different. it’s the kind of nervous he gets only because of you. the amount of butterflies he has right now makes him feel like he’ll burst into millions of tiny pieces the second he sees you. he just really wants tonight to be perfect.
flash is throwing a new year’s eve party, and peter asked you to be his date. he’d been working up the courage for months now to ask you out. what convinced him to finally do it is that it’s the last day of the entire decade. he doesn’t want it to end without you knowing how he feels. now or never situations always give him the push he needs.
peter’s day is spent getting ready. he has may teach him new dance moves, calls ned for last minute tips on flirting, and does his hair the way you like it. you told him once before that his curls are “too pretty to drown them in so much gel,” then used your fingers to fix them. ever since, peter decided that would be his new hair style.
never having been to a new year’s eve party before, he texts you at some point to ask what he should wear. you’re pretty much his personal sylist. he brings you shopping basically every time he goes. it makes him all blushy when you watch him try on clothes, getting him to do a spin in them. peter always thinks the smile on your face is worth it.
you text peter back saying to dress how he usually does and rememeber to be at your apartment at seven, with a smiley face. his heart practically pounds out of his chest when he looks at the time and sees it’s a little past six thirty. your first date is happening so soon.
wanting to wear something you’ll like, peter ends up choosing a blue and white flannel you picked out for him. he throws on the rest of his clothes and shoes, then checks his hair one last time. may hugs peter and asks him tell you hi for her before he leaves to pick you up.
the walk to your apartment doesn’t take too long, which peter loves, except for tonight because he’s freaking out and has to keep wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. he goes over all ned’s advice while taking the stairs. when he makes it to the front door he’s been through so many times he can’t count, he just stands there. he uses the time to give himself a mental pep talk.
you got this, peter. it’s just y/n.
taking a breath, he knocks on the door. your dad opens it shortly after.
“hi, mr. y/l/n. how are you?” peter shakes the hand your dad extends. they’ve met a few times before. from what peter can tell, he likes him, or at least doesn’t mind him. “i’m good, thanks. how are you?” “i’m good, too. is y/n ready?” your dad glances back into your apartment. “i’ll check. do you want to wait inside?” he gestures for peter to come in. peter nods.
“sure. thank you, sir.” he follows with a small smile. peter hears you listening to a playlist he made you from your room. his smile gets even bigger at that. “y/n? peter is here,” your dad calls from in front of your door. “i’m coming!” the music shuts off, followed by fast footsteps. you spot peter right as you open the door. all of his nerves melt away when you make your way over to him.
you’re one of his best friends, what was there to ever worry about?
“hey!” you open your arms with a grin. peter dips down to give you a hug. “were you just listening to back in black?” “yep.” you tug at the bottom of peter’s flannel. “is this the one we bought you last weekend?” “mhm,” he hums proudly. the exchange makes your dad crack a smile from where he’s watching.
“you look... really good, peter. did you do your hair, too?” you bite your lip. the fact that you noticed makes him happier than probably ever.
“i thought you’d like it.” he offers you his (mostly dry) hand. taking it, you lace your fingers together. it’s not your first time holding hands, but there’s something new about this. a good new. “and you look beautiful, y/n.” “thank you,” you giggle. “we should probably go. wouldn’t wanna keep dj flash waiting.” peter laughs and nods. you turn to face your dad.
“bye! i’ll try not to be back too late.” “have fun, and stay safe! you too, peter. i’ll see you next year.” he waves goodbye. you wave back with your free hand, peter doing the same. the two of you leave your apartment, erupting into another short fit of laughter.
“dad jokes,” you sigh. you’re leading the way down the stairs. “that was nothing compared to the ones may makes. she says hi, by the way.” may is the sweetest. she’s always checking up on you. “aw, tell her i say hi back.” “yeah, of course.” peter gets more comfortable holding hands with you like this, running his thumb along the back of yours. it just feels right.
walking outside and into the windy night, you pull your phone out of your pocket. “flash texted me his address. i can navigate.” you wave your phone around to show peter the screen. “go for it. i have no idea where he even lives,” peter chuckles. you click your tongue at him jokingly. “oh, peter.”
there isn’t much to talk about on the way to flash’s apartment, since you and peter have hung out or facetimed every day of your winter break. the two of you communicate mostly by making weird faces at each other and pointing out random things that you see. as navigator, you also have to stop peter from walking in the wrong direction a couple of times. he doesn’t know where he’d be without you. literally.
it’s obvious which apartment is flash’s without even going inside the building. there’s blasting music and colorful lights showing from where you are. “i don’t know how we’ll ever be able to find flash’s place,” you say sarcastically, peter opening the door. “it’s almost like he doesn’t want us to,” he jokes.
you hold peter’s hand tighter as you two skip up the few flights of stairs it takes to get there. giving each other knowing looks, you both step inside.
“y/n and parker! you’re here!” flash leaves his dj table to greet you. he looks down at your intertwined hands. “guess i won’t be getting a new year’s kiss from you, huh?” your mouth drops open, you pushing flash’s shoulder. “get out of here, flash.” “i would, but i actually live here. gotta go queue up requests. you two lovebirds have fun!” he winks and points at peter before walking away.
“we will,” peter says just to you, laughing at your moment with flash. “he’s so...” “out there?” he finishes your sentence. “that’s one way to describe him.”
taking your other hand, peter tilts his head towards the crowd of people. “dance with me?” “god, yes.” a smile lights up your face as you pull peter further into the room until you two disappear into the crowd. peter twirls himself around you with your hand, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “not bad, peter.”
“thanks. may actually taught me how to dance a little bit.” he’s too pure. you put your arms around peter’s neck and move in closer to him. peter’s arms hug your waist. “really? what other moves did she teach you?”
peter dips you suddenly. you let out a small gasp, your breathing getting heavier as he holds you in place. he looks from your parted lips to your eyes before bringing you back up. “damn. can may give me a lesson sometime?” the two of you laugh breathlessly. peter moves his hands to your hips and sways you both. “if you’re serious, she definitely would.” “i’m so serious.”
you and peter spend so much time jumping around while flash plays the hits of the decade through his speakers. the only time you take a break is for snacks and soda, then it’s right back to dancing and singing along. you never want to leave peter’s arms. he never wants to stop holding you.
as it gets closer to midnight, flash puts on more chill songs. your head is resting on peter’s chest with your arms around his torso. he’s looking down at you, pulling you closer by your waist and moving you side to side slowly. “i’m really happy you asked me to come with you.” “me too.” peter gives you a tired smile.
“i was gonna ask you out myself if you didn’t ask me first.” “you were waiting for me to do it?” “yeah, peter. i like you a lot.” you close your eyes, sighing in content. “i like you even more,” he murmurs and closes his own eyes.
“one minute to midnight!” flash announces before either of you know it. people start scrambling to find who they want to be with when the year ends. you and peter stay right where you are. all you need is each other.
the one thing peter forgot to do was plan if and how he would kiss you. he doesn’t want to freak out and ruin the moment, so he tries to think of what may would tell him. something about not thinking at all. everybody is counting down from ten now, you included. peter just watches you.
“three, two, one, happy new year!” he hears. you’re about to say something, but peter’s lips on yours stop you. you kiss him back instantly, him leaning into it. you both pull back after with huge smiles. even though it didn’t last long, it was everything you’d ever hoped for. “what’s your new year’s resolution?” you yell over the noisemakers and cheers of people around you.
“to ask you to be my girlfriend,” peter surprises himself and you by saying. you take a step back to see him better. “that’s a dumb one.” peter’s nerves come back just like that. did he say the wrong thing? is he moving too fast? like you can read his mind, you peck his lips and hold his hands on your waist.
“resolutions are supposed to be goals you haven’t accomplished already.” he’s pretty much in shock at this point. “are you... are you saying you wanna be my girlfriend?” “i’m saying i really wanna be your girlfriend.” peter kisses you again without a second thought.
who would’ve guessed that the year ending would be the beginning of everything else?
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