#i'm actually genuinely a little emotional about it!
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Tim Minear, here's a hint for you:
For BuckTommy, you don't even have to get them back together as a couple immediately.
You can bring Tommy back to give Buck some closure, and Buck can suggest they just be friends because he misses Tommy's company.
So they still hang out with each other and Eddie, and Buck finally feels ready to start dating again. He doesn't mention it to Tommy, but maybe one day someone lets something slip about Buck going on a great date with this amazing guy, and Tommy overhears it.
Since he broke up with Buck, he knows he can't really question Buck about it, but it still irks him for the very obvious reason that he's still in love with Buck but doesn't think it's fair to ask for a second chance after breaking Buck's heart.
But the slight twist is that Buck is genuine friends with the new guy he's dating, and they like to sleep together on occasion, but it's not an actual romantic relationship. Neither one of them are looking for something serious, but they enjoy each other's company. However, that's their own private business, so Buck hasn't told anyone else the details of his situation. He just allows everyone to believe he's dating.
He knows Tommy will find out eventually, but he doesn't want to tell him or bring it up because it'd be awkward.
Tommy is noticeably irritated and a little curt with Buck on the inside, but he maintains his mask perfectly so that Buck never catches on.
Until one night, they're about to leave for a movie, but Buck's "friend" calls and Buck has to cancel his plans with Tommy.
Tommy leaves, very upset and irritated, but he doesn't even make it to his car before he turns around goes back up to Buck's loft. He knows that nothing is official with Buck's friend, so he knocks on the door, and Buck answers it.
Tommy kisses him hard and closes the door behind him. Buck is in shock, much like the first time Tommy kissed Buck.
Tommy then just lets it all out. He tells Buck that he loves him and misses him, and he hates himself for ending things the way they did and for breaking both of their hearts. He says he thought he could handle Buck dating again, but he can't. He's still in love with him and wants him back. He's willing to do anything: seek counseling, starting over, even moving in with Buck on a trial run basis.
Buck starts crying and releases all the emotions/thoughts he's had/felt since Tommy broke up with him. He's angry, rightfully so, that Tommy hurt him and that it took seeing another man in Buck's life for Tommy to make a move. He asks why Tommy waited until now to really say anything. He talks extensively of all the ways Tommy hurt him when they broke up.
Then his final questions for Tommy are "Why now? Why are you willing to make an effort now and not months ago? Do you actually see a future with me? Or are you scared of being alone if I move on?"
Tommy confesses that he's always wanted a future with Buck, but he's scared of getting hurt again. But he acknowledges that Buck is not at fault for the way past partners have treated him, and he should have stayed and talked things over with Buck instead of ending things and walking away.
Buck kisses Tommy and says he misses him and loves him too. Tommy wipes away Buck's tears and kisses him again and again.
After a few smooches, Buck pulls back and clarifies that he's still angry and hurt over the breakup, but he wants to work through it. Tommy promises not to run away like that again, or at the very least tell Buck when he needs space to think something over before making a decision.
Then they work on their relationship until enough time has passed for them to be happily ever after.
Tim Minear, this storyline alone could last you a couple seasons since Tommy is a guest recurring character.
I'm throwing you a lifeline here, so take it and make something with it. Do what white men are known for and steal this idea and make it yours. Come on, you can do it. Prove to folks that you're not just a mediocre white man who skated by on privilege instead of talent.
Because the queer people of color in this fandom are doing a better job of explaining your mess than you are.
That is all.
#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#tim minear#911 abc#911 discourse#do better tim#bucktommy fix it
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blowing some boys' back out please x3 your choice of 'em
that's 2 imprecise help neji gaara, sasuke, and minato? :3 bonus if the alpha is big in size. I'll be 🍷 anon if not already taken ! mwah
(Hey, welcome 🍷 anon! Let's see~)
N-sfw under cut
Let's set the scene!
It was a rough night last night, enthusiastic, hot, and very heavy.
And some soreness is totally normal after nights like this, especially when you consider your... greater than average size *cough*
But when your omega gets up the next morning, it's clear that the soreness is more than normal.
He's waddling around the house, holding himself gingerly, still kind of dazed from last night.
He probably has some emerging bruises in sensitive places, a few pulled muscles, too.
Maybe you were a little too enthusiastic 😅
But how does he react?
Neji
He is deeply unimpressed by you.
He's sending you dirty looks, blaming you for his current condition and conveniently forgetting how much he was begging for it to be harder last night.
"How am I supposed to go shopping like this? 😠"
You better be pampering him to say sorry.
He's going to settle down on the couch and you'll be doing all the chores and massaging the sore parts of his body.
Bring him snacks and butter him up with lots of lovey dovey apologies and he'll forgive you.
And then ask for that kind of sex again the next week smh.
Gaara
Concerned boy is concerned :(
Rough sex is extremely out of character for him, and so something must have triggered it. Perhaps extremely heightened emotions?
I'm not sure, but he's regretting it so much :(
He knew rough sex was a bad idea. He kind of feels bad about the whole thing.
For a shinobi, his pain tolerance is pretty low, but he still has to get to work because he has a village to run...
He keeps his composure remarkably well at work, but he goes home early and he expects lots of cuddles and kisses and gentle affection.
It's one of the only sex things that he won't overshare with his siblings because he's genuinely embarrassed by injuries that occurred from his perceived lack of control. He feels like he should know better.
Give him lots of love, okay?
Sasuke
He is SOOOOO embarrassed.
And he's pissed at you. But he won't say that because he's too busy pretending that nothing is wrong.
This lasts for all of 5 minutes before he realises that pretending he's fine means leaving the house like this, and he'd rather DIE.
So, the man who would try to train or take a mission while literally delirious with illness, actually takes a day off and hides in bed.
A bed that he kicks you out of by the way.
(but you can probably sneak back in with some well placed nuzzles)
What is he even so embarrassed about?
People knowing he has sex? Kinda, yes.
How fucking ridiculous he looks waddling around? Absolutely.
Not being strong enough to physically take his alpha without injury? Yes...
DO NOT tease him!
Just apologise once and then make him breakfast and don't bring it up ever again 😅
Minato
He's a bit sheepish about the situation, because he remembers begging for it to be harder, and he should have known better.
Oh well! Now he knows better, and well, it was pretty hot.
He gets a bit turned on thinking about it, which probably hurts, so that train of thought dies quickly.
He will probably tease you about being so big and rough lol
To be honest though, he's totally fine, and he'll say "you don't have to do that" everytime you try to apologise or make it up to him.
He would appreciate you running him a bath and making him some food though, just to show him that you love him.
Let's just hope that he's not teaching that day 🙏🏻 Because he is not as subtle as he thinks.
Or working as Hokage... Because his guard definitely know how he spent yesterday evening 😏
#n-sfw#minato#gaara#sasuke#neji#omegaverse#a/b/o#headcanons#alpha!reader#hcs#alpha reader#omega neji#omega minato#omega gaara#omega sasuke
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how are you doing after the last 3 episodes of arcane
full spoilers for act 3 , long rant ahead ( sorry ദ്ദി (ᵒ̴̶̷᷄﹏ᵒ̴̶̷᷅) ). apologies if this is incoherent i ended up pulling an all nighter to watch act 3 and have had a busy few couple of days so i am a very gleeby little maddie atm..
i'm mostly upset and angry about it because it was just handled so poorly... like it was genuinely so ( ._. )"" i've talked about it elsewhere but i don't even really know what to say. i'm so upset about the way they sidelined the important character arcs and actual plot for timebomb sillies and a goofy over the top mel arc that was extremely rushed and didn't even bring the closure it was meant to about her dad and all of that. also 90% of the act being jayvik and it completely ignoring isha , sevika , and for the most part jinx , caitlyn , and vi... it's so disheartening i'm honestly not taking it well i feel just sort of upset and overall down. arcane has meant so much to me and it feels like all of the characters who i love so much just didn't even matter like i went on this journey with them all for nothing. there's so much more i could and would like to say but this is already getting long and i just feel an overwhelming amount of negative emotions at the moment. i'm going to continue making content for arcane ( mostly focusing around maddie , maddiecait , and maddiecaitvi because autism goes crazy ) but i might need a day or two to gather my thoughts and process everything. this act was super disappointing in every way. like i love mel and for the whole rest of the season was curious about her arc but it went from 0 to 100 so fast and was so campy it just didn't even feel like arcane. i think it's so insane that sevika didn't even speak once and that isha wasn't even mentioned like i just can't get past that. also they rushed caitvi's relationship so badly like we needed to see caitlyn's arc fully wrapped up with her coming to terms with all that she'd done , taking responsibility and apologizing to vi. we didn't get any of that though which is baffling to me..... also the implication of vi being a cop , sevika being on the council , vi just brushing over jinx's death ? it's so out of character. also with maddie , i have mixed feelings. i was hoping she'd do something big and i think i can definitely get behind the idea of her being a spy but it just doesn't line up with what was shown onscreen ? it felt like a major copout idk. i have many maddiecait and maddiecaitvi thoughts that i'll post on my main having to do with it but i'm just REALLY wishing we got to see more of maddie behind the scenes and that she got to be more fleshed out onscreen and not just through implications. like i like timebomb they're cute and all but episode 7 just felt so pointless and wasted like we could've used that time to actually be able to flesh out maddie or focus more on caitlyn / caitvi or on jinx and isha. i just don't see the point at all of that episode and i can't get past them just pretending isha never existed in favor of having a cute little timebomb au episode. : \
#ೀ maddie's .ೃ࿔*:・#ೀ askies .ೃ࿔*:・#arcane#arcane act 3#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#arcane season 2#caitvi#maddie arcane#maddie nolen#maddiecait#maddiecaitvi#isha arcane#sevika#vi#jinx#caitlyn kiramman
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Infection
How Kallamar got his scar on his left eye.
For context: Kallamar is seveteen and got recruited by Shamura (who is around 30).
Kallamar did not expect, after being recruited by War themselves as a poisoner, to be in any way met with open arms by the other soldiers, for several reasons.
First of all, he was not a warrior. He only stepped foot on the battlefield after everything was done, and some of the soldiers considered him way too fragile and weak to actually help.
Second, he was a foreigner, and had some problems with the language barrier, even if luckily he came from a place where Silk Cradle's language was pretty used and he even read it on some medical tomes. Still, he had a certain accent (that he was actively trying to lose) and some words were still unknown to him. He was pretty sure thatsome soldiers referred to him with a slur, bbut he was not sure. He wasn't the only foreigner in Shamura's army, but this was not going to stop it.
Also, the fact that he poisoned his ex village was considered by a lot of soldiers as a clear sign that he was, and he could quote the exact words a soldier used behind his back, "a psychotic piece of shit who will not hesitate to stab the Spider's back". Which, obviously, was not true: he had no reason to hurt Shamura! After all, they gave him a home, a role, hot food and sometimes they even talked to him! Way mroe than anything he could had ever wish for!
So, he knew he was not in any way welcome there.
Still, slashing his left eye was a little too much.
Right now, Kallamar was sitting on a brand bed in the medical bay, holding an hand over his now bandaged face.
The doctor was reassuring, once again, that his wound was not going to get infected and that he was going to have a quick recovery, before excusing herself and leaving when Shamura entered.
War glanced at the squid, their expression indecifrable and cold. Disappointed, maybe.
Kallamar looked at the ground, as his mind started to race.
- I was informed of what happened. I still want to hear your side.-
- I didn't... I was not the one to start it.-
- I have no doubt in that, but I still want to hear your version.-
Kallamar was shaking, as he tried to find the words.
- I didn't... I was just... they attacked me out of nowhere, and said i had to "earn my right to live" and things like that, and others were inciting them, and... and... and they had a knife, and...- he was more than omce interrupted by a few sobs - I was scared... I couldn't...-
- You managed to take their knife away and then stabbed your opponent, right?-
- They putted it down, saying something about "a fair fight", and I knew they could had easily snapped my back, I just...-
- You stabbed them in the neck. Precisely in the carotids.-
Kallamar still didn't loook at them.
- And than you stabbed them other fifteen times. Some of the soldiers even report that you started laughing during your rampage.-
Kallamar holded back a sob. As they needed another reason to hate him. He was going to be executed, or thrown in the prison at best. All for a stupid fight.
- I really can't see why you were scared. Honestly, I'm impressed.-
Kallamar looked at the spider, trying to catch an underlying sarcasm. Instead, he found something akin to pride - Do not worry, I am not mad about their death, it was self defense after all.-
- I killed them.-
- They attacked first with the intention to kill you. I can forgive your reasonable outburst of adrenaline. We will have to work on your emotion management and teach you how to incapacitate an opponent without killing them, even if I doubt someone else will decide to try something similar to this.-
Kallamar was sure he must had misheard them.
-... Why aren't you mad? You should be mad that I was the one who survived. You should...- towards the end, he slipped in a swear word in his language.
Shamura's expression was filled with genuine confusion.
- Why would I be mad about that...? You are an important asset in my army and also a good kid with a promising future. I would had been really upset if you actually died.-
Bullshit. They must be lying. He was just a stupid weakling who could not do anything right and who's only role in life was to die and-
- Regardless of whatever your old village made you believe, you matter as much as anyone else. I'm happy you're alive, kid.- the spider gently patted his head, and that was it.
The squid bursted into tears, overwhelmed.
War let him cry, fully knowing how much he needed it.
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a warrior retires to a simpler life; the story passes on to another
(she's reading the latest Snargle Goldclaw novel)
#ie. i caught up on all the story on my main since 2021#which means keelie - my main from 2016 - gets to retire to being my fishing character#i'm actually genuinely a little emotional about it!#we did so much together! the first instance of HoT... scatterings of LW... 2/3 of PoF... all of EoD...#also: glowing sylvari feet <3#sylvari#keelie#guild wars 2#gw2#gw2edit#mine: edits#vgedit
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you just made the scientific discovery of the century & you want to tell everyone & your kids are first on that list but you can't find them. you manage to get a hold of your daughter & she says everything is fine but her voice gets tight when you try to mention your work & she sucks in a breath & says she won't keep you from it any longer than she already has & doesn't say bye as she hangs up the phone. you have a sinking feeling in your gut & you really want to get back to what you were doing but. something's wrong. where are your kids. why was your daughter not surprised when you told her. why was she so quick to hang up on you. your husband has the same type of mind & that's probably why neither of you can ignore this odd turn of events & so you decide to track them down. the research can wait. after all, the spook got away somehow afterwards. it's not like you have anything to go through but data & recordings.
#i don't usually write like this#i just had to type out the thing that's been in my mindddd cuz fanfics take way too long to write#& PMVs take to long to drawww oouughhh#i think i'm getting sick cuz i'm up until dawn & i'm tired constantly but in a weird way like in a migraine kinda way#sure i'll tag this i guess#danny phantom#obsessed with the idea of Maddie & Jack vivisecting Phantom without knowing he's Danny#& there being a whole slowburn reveal & then they're horrified because their entire worldview just got changed in the worst way possible#i find a lot of current fics that use vivisection always make the reveal happen beforehand for some reason#when the original ye olde vivfics from 10+ years ago like PoT happened pre-reveal & that's why Maddie &/or Jack did it At All#because they didn't know it was their son. they didn't know Phantom was their boy#it's just odd to me that the Phandom has shifted towards Maddie & Jack being actively abusive instead of passively abusive/neglectful#like do not get me wrong. they aren't great parents. they're actually really bad parents#but they do genuinely love their kids & would change for them. because their abuse/neglect is passive. it's subconscious#people always view abuse as hitting your kids purposefully because you like it & shit like that & most of the time it's not#& because of that misunderstanding we have a lot of out of character Maddie & Jack in fics#they wouldn't hurt their son. so you have to make them not know or not believe it's him#let them show a little emotion about it too man c'mon
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opening the group chat for the first time today and there's like 200 new messages because everyone's Going Through It today it seems but one of my friends dropped 'I'm separating from [terrible boyfriend she's been living with for like eight years] for real this time, I just moved a bunch of stuff to my parents' and I'm losing my mind because y'all the subject changed almost immediately HEY HI EVERYBODY ELSE SHUT THE FUCK UP I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT???
#'I moved my stuff and my dog' can't leave the pup behind! 'I had to last winter and it was a big reason I wound up going back' HELLO--#was he holding your fucking dog over your head. I will kill the man?????#I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'S TRIED TO LEAVE HIM BEFORE??#I'm-- so-- okay listen. admittedly I am of course simply nosy. of course I am.#but also I have never liked david Ever. justin and I were LITERALLY talking DAYS ago about Worrying About Her being stuck with him#because she moved TO CALIFORNIA with him and he was being a piece of shit then and she had NOBODY out there#and now they're in denver and like. it's his house it's his money etc etc it's a really... logistically difficult situation#but at least she's made some friends in denver and convinced her parents to move out there so she's not COMPLETELY unsupported#like she was in CA#my point is: I'm nosey but I'm also INVESTED. I fucking hate this guy darling I've wanted you to leave him this entire goddamn time#she's talked *a little* about problems with him before but also we've been around him before and he's just generally awful#and it's. like. I'm so so so fucking glad you're moving in with your parents but also. genuinely are you OKAY--#MAN AND ALSO. EVEN IF IT WASN'T 'I HATE THIS GUY AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THE BREAKING POINT WAS--'#THIS IS A SERIOUS LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP? IT ENDING IS A BIG DEAL REGARDLESS?? WHY DID WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT SO FAST HELLO#.... actually I've identified the source of my Wanting More Details#which is: hey babe are you in a phase of this where hearing about how much he fucking sucks shit would be upsetting or affirming.#because I wanna tell you how fucking happy I am that you're leaving him. because he's a piece of shit and you deserve better than that.#ARE YOU IN AN EMOTIONAL SPACE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW I AM SCOOPING YOU INTO MY ARMS LIKE THE CAT SAMURAI MEME.#AND THREATENING THIS MAN WITH A SWORD. BECAUSE HE'S TERRIBLE. CAN I GET A VIBE CHECK THERE. SHOULD I WAIT--
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Ah, yes- the BLUES and the REDS, not the REDS and the BLUES, sure would be neat if that wasn't so interchangeably confusing haha (I'm making fun of myself for not paying attention... this is exactly why I call Temple's group the Rues and Bleds!)
Anyway, here-
Temple; Never got the lead role in any school plays, and that sure didn't stay stuck in the back of his mind forever (yes it did). Was OBSESSED with Yu Gi Oh as a kid. Hair is naturally light brown and curly, but after the incident of Biff's death, he went through a whole thing about dying his hair darker with one streak of white in it to be dramatic. Is actually pretty good with kids (woulda-coulda been the best godfather to Biff and Georgina's kid). Was a little squeamish around blood already, even when he was younger. Wants to paint his nails, but sucks at it (official Cronut duty)
Biff; The only person who was a fan of all the "weird" oreo flavors (something Grif would've used as evidence to prove they are VERY different if they ever met), also genuinely licked black licorice and cadnycorn. As kids, his parents let him collect a lot of comics that Temple's family were more strict about, so they'd only read them at Biff's house. Not really into horror movies, but liked spooky books (more of a soft spot for animated emotional movies). Had short, sandy-blonde hair
Surge; Actually younger than his Blood Gulch counterpart (somewhere in his late 30s-early 40s, still a bit older than the other guys, but not exactly a "gruff old man"). Not actually a Colonel OR a Sargent (he was indeed leader of his Red Base, and was fine with people mistaking him as a Sargent because it sounded similar to his name, but his rank was lower. once they all form their own team for revenge, he just promotes himself Colonel for the heck of it). Failed medical training even worse than Doc. Acts brave in battle, but if left alone, turns into a coward. Is a natural red-head (Sarge would be jealous)
Gene; Outwardly a suck-up, but no actual admiration for any authority figure (HATES Surge. Wishes Temple was more susceptible to compliments, Gene likes him as a leader just slightly more, and admires the effort of being a whole VILLAIN). He's almost similar to Felix, but absolutely NO charming social skills, and far less threatening without back-up or an absurd amount of weapons. Would be one of those people who home-brews and is really obnoxious about it. Used to have a reoccurring nightmare of the evil penguin from Wallace and Gromit trying to Get Him. Loves horror movies. He was actually the newer rookie on his Red Team
Cronut; Out of armor, he's the shortest guy in Temple's group (and although he's a decent fighter, he's not as physically strong as Donut). Has this weird crush on Gene, in which he "flirts" by picking on him (like kids in middle school. Gene doesn't really get it). Also picks on Bucky, but by tricking him with wordplay (Cronut pulls a "Bugs Bunny" on him all the time, and does the "It's not Opposite Day, which means it IS Opposite Day" thing just to confuse him). While he has no personal stakes in their big "mission", he still fans the flames of Temple's revenge because he wants to see more drama
Buckey; Used to be so incredibly repressed and self-isolated growing up, and is a now an obnoxious creep, just a total reverse. Too contrary for his own good, even if somebody agrees with him, he'll spin it into an argument, then complain that other people are too sensitive. However, he also doesn't really hold a grudge (short attention span). Has the best aim in the entire group, probably could have been a lethal sniper (if he ever shut up). The only person, ironically, who put up with his BS long enough to get through a conversation with him was Biff when one or the got temporarily captured (Temple would be very upset, but Buckey hasn't brought it up. again, short attention span, forgot he almost had a real friend)
Loco; Got shuffled around a few other groups before being on Blue Team with Temple, with the others being a little too good at the "fighting to the death" thing... Loco liked the Desert Gulch group, because he thought he finally found some people who were so bad at hurting each other, they'd all just be OK (and then they lost Biff). Loco knows Biff was Temple's best friend, but still considers Temple HIS best friend, and is fine with that. Had big plans to help everybody get along better once they were done with the mission and things settled down. Never got to have pets as a kid (just didn't have the chance or space for animals at home). Doing laundry is comfort activity that helped him relax (thank goodness, none of these other guys remembers to do it). Has slightly poor eyesight, but doesn't realize he needs glasses
drop ur blues and reds thoughts or hcs please im desperate
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every time I rewatch the Rusty Anchor bathroom scene, it becomes gayer and gayer
#the amount of weight and emotion blanche puts behind every single one of her words#that scene (and actually the entire episode) carries the weight of a genuine love confession#i'm serious. the way blanche gets a little upset with dorothy for ''taking her place'' first#the way dorothy almost walks away but blanche can't let her leave. so she stops her with a very very intimate confession (''i'm jealous'')#the way jealous seems to mean ''i love you'' the way she says it#like i'm sorry but i don't think too many people tear up while telling their friend they're jealous of them#especially not after telling your friend how beautiful she is and how she lights up a room when she sings#hello there??#and that final question blanche asks dorothy#if she's jealous of *her* sometimes too#i have THOUGHTS about it#(yes i just rewatched that scene for the umpteenth time for research purposes. what of it)#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#dorothy zbornak#blanche x dorothy#...my whole post is in the tags again isn't it
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i will be so real i'm so thankful to have a job but the amount i want to grill myself on a bbq has increased like 20% lol
#i genuinely feel like a trapped animal and i'm so anxious thinking about it#esp bc it's like a High Importance job with some Confidential elements#i just don't wanna fuck anything up and get anyone in trouble like i really really don't#and it's really exhausting. and i've only worked here like 2 weeks lol!!!!!!!!!#aaaaa!!!!#i'm trying to be good about it and normal about it because i will literally only have to work#2 shifts a week for most of the summer and then 1 shift a week for the school year like#worrying about it is making me such a huge baby. but also. i'm so fucking scared lol#i wish my brain would let me have a mental breakdown but i care so little abt myself#that i can't even do that anymore#my body is fully like no one will care or sympathize with you if you show any emotion at all whatsoever#so why bother#and it's like well true!#that's a good point!#anyway hope i die actually i can't do this lol#maia.txt
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Generational trauma is weird sometimes.
Like, I have never in my life seen let alone experienced a tornado. But both of my parents lived through a nasty one, and so now any time we get so much as a watch, I've got leashes and collars on the dogs and my bag strapped on with my ID and sturdy shoes (even if I'm otherwise still in my pj's) and my water bottle refilled and I am READY. All because I grew up on the story of my mom having to walk barefoot to the red cross station after her house got blown away around her.
Anyway, this comes up now because last week was the 50th anniversary of the inciting event, as it were, and my mom actually told her story straight for once instead of roundabouting it.
Pictures/info/TLDR version of the stories below in case you were curious.
Clocked in at half-mile wide. Multiple vortices. Wind speeds estimated between 250-305mph. 32 killed (plus two firefighters due to a subsequent fire) and 1,150 injured.
On the ground for 39 minutes, traveling about 32 miles. Downtown Xenia pictured at center, Arrowhead subdivision on the far left at point of touchdown.
The Arrowhead subdivision was the first hit - my mother's neighborhood. All that was left of her house was the hallway she was sheltering in with her younger brothers, and the closet where she'd stashed the family cat. They were home alone at the time. She was 14.
Image of the damage in downtown Xenia, where my dad was. He survived thanks to a passing couple who dragged him off his bike and to the nearest cover - the stairwell of an elementary school. It was partially destroyed, and he almost lost a finger to a flying brick, but he lived to tell about it. He was 16.
#generational trauma#tornados#family history#natural disasters#genuinely though this was horrific#they both have ptsd from it#so I'm not surprised i ended up with anxiety about it lol#but still. interesting to look at it in action like this.#i also have this funny little obsession with natural disasters#because my reaction to fear is to throw science at it#i break the thing down until i understand how it works and why#because if i can understand it i can predict it#and if i can predict it then it won't catch me unprepared#i should probably talk about this with my therapist at some point actually haha#there's intellectualizing your emotions#and then there's this lol#it's fine we're fine#lp talks
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Can somebody please explain to me what the appeal of vampires is.
#I'm genuinely curious#people seem to go absolutely feral over this concept and I want to KNOW I want to UNDERSTAND#and there are some really excellent vampire aus that I love and I want to love them MORE because I want to GET IT™#because all I see are like...societally conventionally attractive people with fangs. who maybe (depending on The Lore™)#can't go out in the sun. and that just...doesn't resonate with me?#like I understand metaphors for 'othering' and the concept of monstrosity but I feel like that gets a little lost if there isn't anything#actually UNPALATABLE about them. like if they just look like what we culturally have idealized in human appearance then how can#they serve as a metaphor for ostracization or being misunderstood?#is it primarily an aesthetic thing? is it a *danger is sexy* thing?#but ordinary humans can be plenty dangerous too (see: 90% of the female characters I'm obsessed with)#so is it in the sense of you can vicariously experience that danger and heightened emotion in a situation that's removed from reality#so it feels less overwhelming when you're watching/reading the piece of fiction???#like I have seen this used effectively as a metaphor for marginalization (undead murder farce) and an exploration of how society#defines a 'monster' (shiki) but that doesn't seem to be the way most people or works engage with this concept#is it just that people like when characters are covered in blood because I DO understand that one lmao#I just feel like vampires have been branded as a Key Aspect of Bisexual/Gay Culture and I feel like I am on a separate plane of existence#because It Is Not Clicking For Me#(tbh I feel like there are a lot of Quintessential Queer Experiences™ that don't apply to me but. that's a whole separate thing.)#ANYWAY would love to hear people's thoughts!#I am cooking up a Meta Post™ about fandom reaction to the concept of monstrosity and I want to gather as much information as possible
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JUST watched a video about the Afton's and I really love their British accents, but I've seen people dislike it so.... I'm curious. Reblogs or comments welcomed, I really want to know people's thoughts on this!
#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#Afton#the aftons#poll#I'll be honest I love them being british it feels intimidating and makes them unique amongst all the american accents.#I'm also notoriously known for liking British voice acting over American because rarities like the amazing work for the aftons and#final fantasy 16's whole bloody cast feel much more familiar and nicer to me. Probably because the amount of american accents I hear in....#EVERYTHING feels like it's a little too much all the time.#I'm not british but maybe it's because my accent (being australian) is very close to it that I feel more connected to characters with#foreign accents rather than American. Plus I love the evil Bri'ish stereotype.#About that actually I love how Wiliam doesn't SOUND like a cliche British villain. He sounds just like any other bloke and it's terrifying.#Michael having that british accent that was well executed and full of emotion added LAYERS to his character#and ELIZABETH oh my god I can't imagine her with an american accent.#It's so weird to me that there's a chance that they're going the American accent route with the Afton's after so many years of bri'ish.#Was the yelling in the trailer (I believe) for Security Breach actually Afton talking to Vanessa or something? MF sounds like Monty#I have nothing against the new VA for William I'm just very confused and actually genuinely sad at the loss of PJ being William :')#Correct me if I am wrong and that voice ISN'T william (I could see it being spring bonnies voice instead??? kinda like how Baby is american#but I'm afraid we'll loose the british Aftons WAAA#ALSO ADDING TO THIS#It's driving me nuts who was the british lady in Matpats timeline video#WHO WAS SHE AND WHERE CAN I FIND HER VOICE AGAIN (Was it in the VR tapes?? I'M SO CONFUSED)
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quietly getting more & more annoyed at my housemate & her bf as the evening goes on. thought they were at his house this weekend but they showed up unexpectedly to have loud sex here, left for a little bit, came back in the middle of a fight, and are now watching tv really loudly in between continuing to totally-not-fight-everything's-FINE.
#ctxt#shit chat#they're both rly nice people who genuinely love each other a lot & have been together like 7 years#but in the time i've known them they just keep playing out the same maladaptive patterns together and it's painful to watch#one of them will be irritable for some reason and snap at the other; other responds by airing a deep-seated grievance they've been sittin on#and instead of just. having a conflict about it to its conclusion to resolve the issue they just both fall over themselves apologizing#and spend several hours being really touchy & reactive to little things but overwhelmingly gentle/reassuring/affectionate#person A: *snaps* im sorry baby i didn't mean it i'm just stressed i love you so much can i do anything for you?#person B: no no my love you're fine i'm not mad i understand can i do anything for YOU you're so special i care about you so much#*make out in the kitchen about it a bit. swap roles rinse & repeat*#like i know turning towards a loved one after conflict instead of giving them the cold shoulder is a sign of emotional maturity#and is generally a healthy communication habit#but like. you gotta actually HAVE the conflict first instead of glossing over it the minute difficult emotions come up???#and when they get in these loops i really think they should just. agree on a mutual time out to do their own thing for a day#calm down sort themselves out and then come back together to mend things#instead of just reflexively drawing closer together immediately to try and smother discontent#which just results in them still being upset and now tripping over each other bumping elbows exacerbating things#while being obnoxiously saccharine to cover it up#i mean. 7 yrs is nothing to sneeze at but imo this is. not a sustainable way of relating & building a life together#and it sucks to watch it play out. reminds me of my parents who were blissfully incompatible in a similar way for like 30 years#before it finally blew up spectacularly with a lot of collateral damage earlier this year.
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#tag talk#anytime my friends point out that something I say is good advice or express that they see me as aspirational I'm always just like....#wtf how am I am example to look up to I'm just an idiot bumbling his way through life trying to avoid hitting her head on cabinet corners#honestly it's mostly just seeing mistakes others have made and going “I will not make those mistakes. I will make weirder mistakes than that#like. it feels a little like the “I'm eighty years old I'm done with putting up with everyone's bullshit” except it's#it's “I didn't kill myself so I'm not gonna put up with bullshit anymore”#like. I chose life. I'm not about to half-ass that decision. I'm not gonna walk back that decision. I'm not going to flinch away from it.#that fuckin... “what do we have to fear but fear itself” quote or whatever. like.. I died. you think anything else is gonna scare me?#if I'm going to be stuck here on this planet you bet your ass I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm not gonna be embarrassed. no shame.#we're all living here until we die and the things that matter are your own life and then the people around you.#I'm not going to miss out on a chance to find community and connection just because I'm afraid. I'm done being afraid.#though... I have been feeling shrimp emotions for the past two weeks and my stomach has tied itself up in knots over it.#I'm so detached because I'm afraid of feeling my emotions too strongly. so letting go and experiencing emotions is a lot for me.#and agghfffgghh I'm going to make it through this I'm going to make it through this but damn it's really rough#allowing yourself to get close to someone again after solidifying your position as unassailable is so hard.#especially because I've gotten so used to shielding the emotions of other people. hard to be honest when your honesty will hurt them#it's wild being around someone who's not wildly insecure because I can be genuine and honest and not worry about what I say hurting her.#I could say “I'm leaving in a year do you still want to date?” and trust that she would actually think it through and give a reliable answer#like. I can handle just my emotions because she's able to handle hers.#being in mental health spaces for so long I'm not used to interacting with emotionally stable people lmaooo#do you think I'm emotionally stable? I don't think I am. but then I meet other people who are wildly more unstable than I am and hmmm#like. sui wasn't an emotional choice it was a cost benefit analysis. I get emotionally unstable sure. but I contain myself until it's over.#I know enough to not be impulsive because I recognize impulsive behavior in others and thus in myself as well.#so like. I'm unstable but I'm not externally unstable. I know how to isolate when I'm in a wounded lashing out state.#anyway I've been processing so many emotions this past week because I'm wildly out of practice with allowing myself emotional honesty#instead of just bricking myself up behind my defensive apathy. I want to hold onto this. I want to continue to channel these emotions.#I want to be unafraid to tell people when I love them#though with her it's more of a Nerevarine situation. you are not someone I love but rather someone who might become that.#like. I haven't known her long enough to really say I love. but I very much think if things continue how they are I will be confident in it#and not even romantic love per se. I have some old friends who I genuinely love. several siblings who I love. most people I know I do not.
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watched the moominvalley AND 90s anime takes on the Last Dragon back to back earlier and I'm still so fucked up emotionally
#what if there was a living metaphor for our relationship and I just kind of gave it to a passing fisherman to avoid that whole business#because you're desperately conflict avoidant and terrified of being left and i'm juggling genuine desires for Me Time#with glaring emotional issues#and this little last living miracle of nature was making us both extremely upset/uncomfortable with the issues it invoked#and *points* king of conflict avoidance and dude who would literally rather die than not seem chill about everything#the moominvalley take is crunchy and emotionally devastating enough but THE 90S ANIME....#the fact it's paired with snufkin casually trying to leave months early because uhhhh. The Cards#(and I say 'casually' but you KNOW he is not casual about it but no he's chill! there's no real Reason he's looking for an excuse#to take off it's The Cards. gonna catch some minnows to give me an excuse to book it now)#and he KNOWS it's breaking moomin's heart but he just can't address that#and giving away the Troubling Underlying Problems dragon is paired with him giving away the minnows that were his excuse to leave#but he can't say he DECIDED to stay or that he didn't want the dragon he just. straight up lies. KING of emotional distance dysfunction#if we didn't lie about this we'd lose our potential no-fault excuses for booking it in the future! i love him sm#and moomin just accepts the dragon vanishing bc he's willing to settle just for snufkin hanging out with him#and they end the ep by moomin calling the dragon 'silly' and snufkin saying it'd be bad to keep because it's fickle and unloyal...#gnawing on the table. i did not expect this relationship to Get me so hard but by god the problems and issues are right up my alley#i'm always obsessed with the complexity of 'we both have problems and different emotional/practical needs in a relationship'#'and loving each other is painful and complicated even though it's so important to both of us'#and I actually do not find it in fiction very often#vic talks#aside from that one fanart I reblogged yeah this is how everyone finds out I'm getting into the moomins. sorry in advance
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