#i'll be upset at you in person
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Hello I made you some more art!! IDK Why your little guys have just stuck in my brain as of late but yeah I'm just on a roll I guess!
This piece was inspired by wondering who was present around Machete's assassination, and how people around him would react to his downfall. So I had the idea for a portrait of a final lover's embrace, as Vasco holds his dying beloved in bloodsoaked arms.
I tried my best with the clothing -- especially the shoes -- and I think I did a pretty good job but BOY were they hard! XD Anyways, I hope you like this one, it was a blast to draw! I love machete sm istg <3
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#Machete#Vasco#own characters#coldandfoggy#gift art#hhhhadgasjgdshad???#THIS#¿¿¿¿¿#congratulations you've managed to deliver some immense mental damage through the ethers#and I mean that as a compliment I live for the moments when art just really Hits You Where It Hurts#loving the way the scarlet red of Machete's cassock blends seamlessly with the pool of blood#Vasco's expression speaks volumes#he was always a very touchy feely person so thinking of their final embrace just puts a pit in your stomach#poses like this are tricky but Machete looks appropriately limp and lifeless and at peace in a way that's cruelly ironic#the halo is a nice touch it kind of evokes pietà imagery#the clothing and the shoes look fine I wouldn't have guessed you had issues with them if you hadn't mentioned it#just a grand old liver punch this one#damn son#thank you for drawing the sad dog guys I'm very flattered they've made an impression! I know I'll be agonizing over this piece for a while#some potentially upsetting lore musings!! violence and tragedy and stuff:#I haven't cemented the chain of events yet but I believe he was ambushed by a single assailant when he was alone#either early in the morning or late evening#he didn't manage to put up much of a fight that time the first stab punctured a lung and the second nicked a carotid artery#I believe you lose consciousness in a minute or so and generally bleed out in less than three#Vasco wouldn't have been informed of the murder because why would he be and even if he somehow found out very quickly#the distance between Rome and Florence is roughly 250 km don't quote me on this but it looks like it'd take at least 4 days on horseback?#I think but I don't know how horses work to be honest#maybe they had some sneaky correspondence going on but if there was a pause in communications it wouldn't have been a cause for concern#so it's highly likely he'd only find out when he rolled in town for another business trip#and Machete had been buried weeks or months ago
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i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.
the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.
the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.
and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.
hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.
and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.
and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.
and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.
and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.
that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.
i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.
if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.
#corey talks:)#this has been in my drafts forever but i saw something that made me have feelings and so i finished it and here take this iuygfcvghuij#i justgod the books are SO GOOD and barely anyone knows theyexist#and i think that's what makes me the kost upset#or some [people chose to ignore they exist or don't give them a chance bc... i don't even know why. ppl are just so quick to dismiss them#the books are so important to me (literally got a httyd book tattoo) and i get most book fans also like the movies#but it sucks bc i can't go through the httyd tag without being bombarded with movie stuff#i'll even look up 'httyd books' and half of it is still about the movies.#i'll look up snotface snotlout and only finds movie stuff even tho ig they changed his last name in the movies???#i'll look up camicazi and find it filled with astr*d. WHAT.#i'll look u toothless and only see the freaking nightfury. not the original.#like god movie enjoyers at least tag correctly. i get you want ppl to see your posts but the more i see movie stuff in the book tag the mor#i hate the movies lol like the movies are so much more popular than the books let us have our tags okay#sorry if any of this sounds bitter also i hope it doesn't sound like i want to argue or fight#this is just my opinion and i have feelings and i just want ppl to know there are books#also i am not shaming anyone who likes the movies like i already said you do you boo just don't come at me for doing me#bc yes that has happened to me multiple times :) which is one reason why i get so upset :)#i just personally cannot separate the two. i know some ppl can and i'm glad! but i can't and that's okay too#httyd#httyd books
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I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc
#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#batman#batfamily#for all of the issues that come with having Steph as your fave having too much wild shit happening at once is never one of them#btw I quite like The Boy Wonder Issue 1. wow shocker an artist and writer who I have liked everything they've ever done#has once again written something that I am enjoying with art that makes me want to be part of its world.#it's almost like Juni Ba is really freaking talented or something#like I have some problems with it but it seems like many of those are part of the point. Damian is learning that his siblings are more#three-dimensional than he realized and that is part of this 'coming of age' story merged with fairytale#so I can't be mad at the oversimplistic defining of Dick and Jason and Tim until the conclusion of the series. that might be the point.#I hope that the series will address Steph as a Robin but if not then frankly it's not an issue unique to this series.#I'll be annoyed and disappointed but ultimately roll with it like I am with Babsgirl being here. There's too much good stuff here to get#hung up on shit that seems to be almost an editorial mandate at this point. at least that's where I'm at.#I am also very sorry that Chip Zdarsky is massacring your boy. he has 'X (Tim for him) is the best Robin so everyone else must suck' diseas#where a writer really likes one specific Robin and in trying to uplift them demeans all of the other Robins. instead of like...just writing#for that one character only or alternatively not demeaning the other characters in order to make his blorbo look good#it's wild because I actually think his writing for Tim is pretty solid. but he's not writing a Tim series. he's writing a Batman series.#and if you are going to write a Batman series and include other Batfamily members you need to actually write them well.#instead of assigning them like 2 personality traits while Tim gets to be a whole character#I accept that behavior in fanfic where I have lesser standards because it's fucking free. not a comic run that wants me to pay#tens of dollars in order to understand what the fuck is going on. he's been going for a while now it's gotta be a lot of money.#I can buy Steelworks with that money. I can see John Henry and Natasha Irons in a trade. Fuck you Chip.#it's why it takes such a special person to write a good ensemble story/a good Batfamily story. you have to be good at writing a LOT#of different characters. which I don't think most people are. I sure as hell am not. I can write maybe 3 at a time confidently well.#and you also have to give all of them at least SOME love or else people will be upset that you aren't focusing on their fave#and also the writing as a whole will suffer. Chip Zdarsky is a pretty good Tim writer. I'd maybe read a Tim solo written by him.#I would not read a story focusing on multiple characters that I like written by Chip Zdarsky. because every character who isn't Tim#is at least a bit weak/inconsistent/out of character INCLUDING FUCKING BATMAN. THE NO. 1 GUY MOST ARE HERE FOR
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The Third Traffic SMP Jimmy Slash Prediction Poll!!!
(Note: In the previous polls I don't think I filtered the fic numbers, but I don't remember.)
Martyn obviously married Jimmy last time, so he's out. I eliminated Scar and Skizz this time based on “have more than ten full length fics mostly about their ship”. Which, y’all called, they were the top three for winner for the Secret Life poll!
How the fellas performed on ao3 after the Secret Life poll last year:
Absolute Winner: Martyn
A-tier: Scar and Skizz (I will be haunted by the "Pretty Woman" rp for the rest of my life)
B-tier: Impulse
C-tier: Etho, Ren, Mumbo, BigB
F-tier: Bdubs
And heading back to the Limited Life poll:
(in case you haven't heard, either Gem Impulse Grian and Jimmy are hinting the next season is recording next week, or they are sadists, and not in a fun way.)
Reminder: Jimmy gets gay married in odd numbered seasons and is in a gang of schoolyard hooligans in even seasons!
#And by reminder#I mean... remind him?#i don't know#gosh i'm desperate for this#if ANYONE is missing i'll be upset#i personally would love for more and more people to keep joining#the only two people i have watch talk about wanting to join in a serious way are False and Oli#and now that jimmy's not the canary it would be amazing to bring oli in#he even said he'd hire an editor for specifically this#cause it would just be a couple hours footage and he wouldn't be making musical numbers#or would he?#this was back before secret life i think#anyway#he and grian spent a week skiing together#who knows what happened#there's actually a VERY cute picture of them on a ski lift or something#okay you add false and you add oli and they average out to a reasonable player#so you make them wear a best friends tshirt and stick together all the times#or like oli on a leash#i think i've seen them in the same group picture#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#trafficshipping#trafficshipblr#traffic shipping#shipping#mcyt shipping
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Is it too early for me to feel jewish rage because I'm still thinking about the rededication of a shul that two members of my shul are going to. I mentioned this in the tags of a previous post, but know why it's being rededicated to the jewish community? They had to sell the shul to the catholic church. That shul has existed for over a hundred years and a significant portion of its existence has been under ownership of the catholic church. And only now is that jewish community able to buy back their own shul. Maybe it hits harder now because I am in love with my shul, maybe it's because I know how hard it is to find a shul no matter how big the city is. Maybe I just think jewish things deserve to be with jews. Maybe I'm crazy!!
I'm just upset about it. And I know this is, like, 80% of jewish history, but it still makes me feel things.
#jumblr#jewish conversion#jew by choice#personal thoughts tag#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#i think that shul has been in existence since the late 1800s? i cant remember but i know i was told is was longer than a century#sorry to post this right after a lighthearted post. i'm just angry and sad thinking about this again#don't get me wrong the shul is now where it belongs (with jews) but. it shouldn't have taken this long...#...it shouldn't have ever left our/their possession (bad wording but you know what i mean. too upset to really care per se)#lmao i need to stop thinking about this or else i'll just feel sick
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btw love you all <3 i hope december is good to every mutuals and followers and even more specially to the people i interact with often. and also i hope that you all get a nice end of the year. mwah
#sorry if i have upset some people recently! i'm just trying to get a dash that makes me want to come back :)#because i've been struggling getting on tumblr lately#so i have been unfollowing and blocking tags...it's nothing personal. i just want to control what i see in my free time!#that said i'm really grateful for all the people that i have interacted with on here#maybe i'll make a new year post like last time to say thanks to the people i like on here :)#i know i'm no one for 90% of you but well....i'm emotional about people :')
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oh my god…. prince……. you can’t do this to me. you’re saying next fic has vox getting fucked, focuses on vox’s transness (AH), AND ALSO HES ON THE OFF SEE SAW OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH VAL?????? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MEE?!!?!!????? I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY COMBUST. and bc another anon asked abt how alastor views the violence in voxval’s relationship, i have Another thought on the matter. as much as alastor looks down on vox, they can be Very similar sometimes. they are both egomaniacs and very prideful. i don’t think vox, without outside interference, would ever ADMIT that the violence he faces is 1) something he truly hates AND 2) out of his control. he can’t admit he hates it, because then why isn’t he stopping it? that would be admitting to not being powerful enough or strong enough. and hello, 50’s toxic masculinity coming through, he CANT be a victim of domestic violence. he’s a powerful, rich, and important man. it all comes down to perceived weakness. so, the solution is to pretend he’s mostly fine with it. sure, he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment, but i don’t think he’d ever let himself take it seriously. because then he has to start drawing lines in the sand, and what happens then? will val look down on him? will he lose val? yeah, he is not risking that over a problem he mostly refuses to acknowledge exists. and as you said, this is all happening in the setting of hell, where ultra violence IS the norm, and vox himself is excessively violent. it’s the most delicious 50 layer cake of fucked up-ness.
RANT ASIDE THO. i have a question. 2. do you ever plan on having vox interact with the hotel crew outside of angel? ANDDDD what would charlie’s reaction be to their friendship/situationship/ kinda love affair. i think she could add SOOOOO much hilarity and Intense Emotions to this series. not that the boys haven’t been doing their part in that so far. charlie just intensifies everything she does, god bless her. -🌓
The "getting fucked" bit and the trans conversation bit are directly related to and relevant to each other, and frankly I'm just very happy to be out here writing the specific flavors of deeply queer shenanigans that I'm writing, and to have people actively enjoy that. It genuinely means a lot to me that I've strayed so goddamn far out of the bounds of good old top/bottom yaoi archetypes that introduced me to fandom and yet have a wildly enthusiastic audience nonetheless. So, that was my long way of saying that you bring me a lot of fucking joy, anon, hahaha.
As for everything you're saying about Vox, power, and masculinity: YOU! points dramatically at you YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT!!!!!! Everyone just read this, this is it, this is the thing. I have no notes to add. There is a reason that the main point he raises the moment he actually says something vulnerable about it (before he immediately cuts himself off) is a complaint that he's an overlord, so why—?
And with regards to your questions: I'm not gonna lie, my actual planning for 666 is usually, like, extremely by the seat of my pants. I plan nothing except, "Oh, shit, had an idea for the next one. Lesgoooo—" and that's been the case for literally every single installment. It's all just been evolving naturally and building on top of itself. So! I can't say that I plan to have Vox interact with the hotel crew or Charlie, but I also will never say that I'm actively opposed to it.
That said, I do think a lot of this fic is kinda structured around hitting specific topics that come up in intimate settings between Vox and Alastor specifically, with occasional tag-ins from Angel Dust, so I don't really know if there's anything in particular I'd like to write that I think would work better in this series if more characters got involved. But, hey! Never say never!
#ask#personal#half moon anon#long post#hazbin hotel#radiostatic#666 live on air#I do agree with you I adore Charlie and in particular I adore her weird relationship with Alastor#actually before I decided to not make this COMPLETELY unhealthy I had a very very different idea for how to write the rut fic#involving basically Alastor getting pressured and also compulsory allonormativity-ing himself into having sex with Vox#and THAT outline DID involve abso-fucking-lutely everybody sticking their noses into the situation in deep deep alarm#Charlie Angel Husk and even fucking Lucifer showed up#but uh that was also the version of this series that ended with the radiostatic relationship pretty well nuked so#ended up NOT writing the “bad end” edition LOL#maybe one day I'll write it as an AU or something when I feel like upsetting absolutely everyone including myself#my writing#nsft
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Any headcanons for alpha-katara and pregnant omega-azula?
Katara gave him a necklace when she found out she was pregnant.
Azula threw a tantrum at Katara for impregnating her.
Katara became more possessive and overprotective, not even letting Zuko or Mailee near her Omega.
Azula had a lot of cravings, the good thing is that they were common, unfortunately it only happened at night.
Azula became more malicious, making fun of everyone and then crying when it was returned to her.
Azula had the stage of wanting to be in her room all the time, she didn't want to go out at all, not even to go get mochis.
Azula's new pheromones made Katara fall more in love with her, because she had her kits.
Azula didn't like having Katara's semen when she was pregnant, but she did like having her pussy eaten.
Azula wanted to suck Katara all the time, but the Alpha refused for fear of suffocation, but Azula always won.
When Kya was born Azula was upset and blamed Katara because the puppy looked more like the Alpha than she did.
#Azula#Katara#Azutara#Kazula#ABO#atla#avatar the last airbender#Azula Omega#Katara Alpha#Did you only want one? No way#I'll give you ten.#Azula is the typical woman who gets upset because her children look more like their father than she who took them for nine months.#And she is right to be upset!#Again she had another puppy she calls Kanna#she looks like Katara but has her personality!
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg minerva#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg marlon#twdg tenn#honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??'#then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha#also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore#like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it#not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed#for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there#it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like...#that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly#also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but#I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did#like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite#anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good#i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw#like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit#and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification#and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go#he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down#'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m#it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay#this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about#even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks#that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you
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Oh man I forgot S4 of The Umbrella Academy existed
#this is only half of a joke because I did a good job of just ignoring it after it was released and now it feels like a fever dream#I can't keep thinking about it because I'll just get more upset and frustrated about it. god why did they fuck up my precious umbrellas 💔#but still a big old fuck you to steve blackman#tua s4#personal
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i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this
#you all know that i can't stand gatekeeping and how that's why i bring up what i like all the time in various contexts#but the surprising thing with mbf for me is that i can't talk about it as freely to people who don't know me#because i can't find a way to translate it without having to offer some crucial segment of myself#i enjoy sharing ideas and thoughts more than anything else but i don't like sharing me the person behind them#because i really cherish my individuality as something important in spite of where it takes me sometimes#i don't want to tarnish it!!!! i don't want even the smallest piece of it to be missing because i wouldn't know what to do anymore#i'll stick to typing out thoughts here and to my mom and to my med textbooks#but i must say it feels strangely refreshing to have something that is only my own this way because i always have to put myself out there#and this way i am not giving anyone the opportunity to twist it into something terrible about me#my spontaneous outbursts might ruin this for me though#letters from stephanie*#i dislike that i can't step outside of my own experiences with this like i usually do because art should be shared#this is suchhh a crazy person post#i think i finally get what my dad means when we fight about how i shouldn't say everything i think all the time#he doesn't want me to filter myself he wants me to preserve who i am from harm because stepping up sometimes won't help#who i'm trying to help but it will ruin me in some way even if it just makes me upset#i think that's how he manages to be calm without betraying himself?#he isn't lying he's just saying what he thinks when it matters and to those that matter#like most of the time i am right to single myself out but there is a particular shade of grey when i shouldn't do it#idk this is literally donna telling the dr YOU CAN STOP NOW.#realistically i just need someone to calm me down when my passions turn against me#overly personal post once again i am sooo sorryyyy look away
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Fucked up and evil like really sick and twisted shit I get up to with my ill gotten gains oh god what else will my hypocritical cocksucker self do next. I need to be stopped and shot and ran over with a putka truck and forcibly injected with testosterone and killed and have my remaining soul(s) destroyed in the warrior cats hell goop. Don't I
#having actual personal items is so fun you guysssssss i'm gonna start doing that more often. I'll actually have something .#still gotta fucking hide them out of sight everyday so the kid stops trying to throw them around to upset me on purpose#also went to some fancy restaurant today and i thought it was a normal one at first then i looked at the menu and they had like.#50000 złoty rare original 1000 years old netherite rainbow wine with king bolesław chrobry's piss extract on the rocks shot and killed#like you know the ones. i don't get people into drinks™ just get the tea what the hell do any of those words mean it doesn't even smell good#once again my legs hurt. auwhgh.
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Me clicking “see all” on the tags of that post on why Nate likes Peter: “Holy shit”
#sci speaks#i feel obligated to put a lengthy something something in these tags just to keep the joke up. so i'll tell you about my day.#i really wanted to get chinese takeout today and yesterday but i still haven't gotten it and it's upsetting because#i'm the sort of person who if there's a thing i really want i'll just keep thinking about it restlessly until it happens.#so i guess i'll be thinking about chinese takeout for the foreseeable future. maybe one night this coming week.#i should have bigger things to worry about than when my next chinese takeout fix will be but i'm a simple man with simple needs.#i don't know if the place even takes card and i havent seen a physical note of cash in months. do i need to withdraw money.#do i need to think that far ahead. should i withdraw some money tomorrow just incase.#i really like this chicken and aubergine dish from there it's my favourite. i really love aubergine.#do you guys like aubergine? sensory delight. it melts in your mouth. aughngh. ungh. moans whorishly.
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this hand — cool, damp, with a nervous pulse. this man's hand. i held it all the while he talked and i'm still holding it now. must be going soft. these days we all need a hand to hold — in the dead of night, when the rain dashes itself in blind waves against the windows. when fear seeps, pooling in every vague depression — diluting and dissolving us, diminishing us — suspending us, drifting, in a submarine world. when you're drowning, any hand will do.
see this is the part that the new 52 writers always miss about constantine's characterization: he doesn't lack compassion or empathy, and he's not innately selfish. he has always cared more than he probably should. the conflict and tragedy at his core comes from being forced to act against his nature, not from being unable to contain some inherent cruelty. by late hellblazer his ability to show how much he cares is all but burnt out of him, but it's still there.
#( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD.#his femininity and radical compassion are all part of his queerness and i'm blowing a kiss to jamie delano every day of my life for it#a hearty fuck you to cunts like azzarello and milligan who decided they needed to Man Up and Straighten Out my guy#you don't see this man in justice league dark. you simply don't#part of why i loved city of demons so much + why jc: hellblazer hits so different is because they brought back some of that empathy#some of that gentleness and willingness to listen. to try to understand#i've said it before and i'll say it a million more times: the difference between his professional facade and his personal self is VAST#and it's part of why his main reason for being upset when people fuck him over is ALWAYS 'you could have asked. i would have said yes.'#anyway i love fear machine john i love these panels i love!!!! john constantine!!!! fuck dude!!!!!!!!!#( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.
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This blog is my little corner in which I come and write and read about my loser blorbo dynasty and try to not have a single thought on what's happening in reality but I just learned that the government closed down by decree the museum of garments because "it's not rentable" and all the fucking replies on twitter are "excellent news! Exactly what I voted!" (All of them with that stupid blue thick because they are totally troll accounts paid by the government, you see for that there is money). And like I know people don't give a fuck about history and much less about fashion history and that the average libertarian would turn every public museum into an apple store if they could but I'm just so tired of seeing our culture and history vanish in real time. Tomorrow we are having a second protest to defend our public universities. This is insane. Having high quality free universities has always been the pride of this country. And now we are having protest every two weeks because professors aren't being paid enough and the budget we have is not enough to keep the doors of our universities open. I'm so tired, I just want one thing to be normal in this dumbass dystopia.
Anyway the museum's collection of 9300 pieces, some who date back to the 18th century, is now in a limbo and who knows what would be of it. They say they'll turn the museum into something more "rentable" that will attract more tourists so I'm betting they'll put a fucking Starbucks there or something like that nothing matters anymore.
#sorry for the rant I'll probably delete later. i hope you at least understand why this upsets me#if i wrote this on twitter i'd had like 15 bots telling me I'm whining leftie and their tax money isn't to pay a museum no one knows about#personal
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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