#i'd like to come up with a design for the queen but i'll be real

[clottedscream]

the first and only thing ive been able to draw in like a fucking month and its decemberists fanart again

someday i'll regain the ability to draw but for now i think i'll have to settle for generating doodles of ol' will and margie

[ad-astrah]

Finally Watched Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket (Twice) and I Gotta Get My Feelings Out Somewhere, Somehow (Part I)

Feel free to light up my DMs to chat about it!

And now, for my personal highlights/live reactions:

immediately I'm drawn in by Nick Lang's silly narrator voice and the way he warns us of what's coming. Especially the "muRrrDder!"

Jeff Blim cut his hair. JEFF BLIM CUT HIS HAIR. Not that I didn't like the long locks, but something about his Aladdin Era short hair gets me, man.

Jeff Blim literally getting to own the stage like the man was born to

Jeff Blim's slutty bard getup with the artfully messy hair and the heavy guyliner. That sinful bastard.

"Let's go." I'll follow you anyway, slutty bard.

Okay 80s rock jam! Hell yes.

idk why but I just love the line "There are tales in those walls, are they true or are they tall?"

THIS SET, THO. 80s vibes. Muppets vibes. Princess Bride vibes. Spooky, ethereal fairytale vibes. I love it! Props to the team who designed and built it.

prance, slutty bard boy, prance around that stage.

Jesus Fuck, I've only seen Joey's puppet but I'm already SOLD. Nick and Matt Lang and whoever else had a hand in making these puppets fucking OUTDID themselves! Did they use the Black Book and resurrect Jim Henson?

Throughout the show, the muppet vibes just absolutely amaze and delight me. Makes me feel like a little kid, spellbound by this fairytale. Except it's much darker, more gruesome, way more explicit, and extremely horny.

Oh look, it's Joey's Jingle/Jangle (whichever elf he was) voice from Black Friday.

Love me some o' dat non-binary representation from Ragweed. Starkid once again screaming GAY RIGHTS bitches.

I'm getting some of Jeff's Aragog from AVPS in this Narrator. Anyone else?

Stupid STUPID butcher!

Jon Matteson's accent. *giggles madly*

Angela IMMEDIATELY having to pause for applause before she finishes her first freaking line. The queen deserves it all, though.

The foreshadowing of the Stepmother cutting off Ella's feet. O_O

"It's furryyyyy and fouuuuul and full o' maGOTTTSSaaaaaggghhhh!"

Angela doing the little spinny finger thing in a guy's face to fluster them just like Max did to her character in Nerdy Prudes. I love these physical running gags. My fave being the Smoke Club, though.

OIIIINK oinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoink

Sir Preston asking for help from the audience. His "ELLAaaaaa....nooooo....."

The lighting in this entire show is SO COOL.

Again, Jeff just louging like a whore about the set like its his bitch. I live for it.

James' COSTUME. He looks SO FUCKING GOOD. Props to the costume folks...and to James' rockin' genes.

"But nothing compares to the juice and the hairs..." Oh no. Ohhhhh no I see where this is going. Don't say it, James, don't-- omg he said it.

er ee er ee er ee *window rolling down*

I thought the Prince drawing bewbies on the frosty window was funny already, and then he goes WAH WAH WAH and pretends to pinch them and I fucking lost it.

The Prince checkin' out DAT AZZZZZZ XD

"I'd wager she's wetter now than when I first found her bobbing in the river." OH MY GOD. PRINCE. THAT'S HER NOT-MOM.

If his highness has had every STD and beaten it, that's so fucked up but also damn, that boy's immune system is killin' it. Literally.

"Poor mad EllaAH"

"This is one thirsty FUCKING house." For real, omg.

"The offer stands firm. Come calling if you are!" *screams*

Jeff miming being crew and pulling the ropes for the curtains.

*audience member sneezes* "Bless you."

Angela's diction is next fucking level. PUNY. PINK. KIND.

The epic troll reveal! The puppets are SO GOOD.

THE FROG FUCKING TURNING AWAY AS SHE ASKED FOR IT TO DO SO SHE COULD KILL IT. CHRIST.

This bayou boogie song of Ella's is an absolute KILLER BOP. Holy shit. And it's SO perfect for Bryce's funky, sassy voice.

Speaking of which, BRYCE'S VOCALS. I'm gonna scream about them for forever and ever and ever. I love her voice SO FUCKING MUCH. I could listen to nothing else for the rest of my days and die a happy little gay.

"ohhhh woah woah waohhh" *flips the bird* She's such a queen for that.

"It needs oregano" WORK BITCH

Bryce's stage presence is fucking INSANE. I dunno how she's not on Broadway, but thank goodness we got her!

SIRE MANY TADPOLES!

GOD I love this absolutely depraved, horny little bastard of a prince.

It's amazing Tadeus hasn't murdered the prince yet. The man deserves a medal for the literal shit he's put up with.

Bugette?! I thought you choked on shit died and were consumed by the Hive Queen?

Rancilda being a typical troll and loving lurking under bridges and telling riddles.

Schuyler Sister vibes from the song with Justine and Lucy. So cute.

Justine and Lucy are SUCH real ones for IMMEDIATELY believing Ella about her family being trolls and for saying "fuck the ball, we're leaving NOW."

Shake dat ass, Mariah!

Lauren's physical comedy as Rancilda is NEXT LEVEL. I'm wheezing over here!

iSNn'tT it A BiiIItTcH?!

I LOOK GOOD IN THIS. What an absolute fucking BANGER. This song is gonna play in my head on repeat for the next decade. What a next level villain song.

Also this gives me some strongass Joan Jett vibes. "I love wearin' the skin of dead girls rock 'n' roll!"

and I hEEeaARr yoU'Re RiiiCCHhH

Seriously, is this the next Top Chart breakup revenge song? It should be.

"I really LIKE that song!" XD Putrice. I love how much of an absolute BIMBO she is.

Rancilda singing the song again. "SHUT UP STUPID BITCH, THE SONG'S OVER." "Okaaaaiiii"

Matt Dahan's ability to riff off the main songs and create motifs is otherworldly.

General MacNamara? Is that you?! Oh wait, nope. Still my slutty, slutty bard.

I LOOOOOOOVE this badass electric guitar intro, holy shit.

Kim Whalen, the queen, getting the bitchin' entrance she deserves.

Starkid is so, so good at their sound design to help immerse you in a scene without blowing a big budget or doing anything elaborate.

...Kim. My girl. Your arms must be tired.

She's just standing there, but Kim's stage presence is still so strong.

I can't get over how Jon's Sir Hops-A-Lot's voice is just a small...ahem. Hop, skip, and a jump away from Wiggly's.

JOEY. THAT ACCENT. You ABSOLUTE genius idiot. I love you for this stupidass voice.

Joey's bowl cut makes me giggle like mad.

I love these two puppets SO much.

GIT IT, KIM.

The call and response bit with Ella and the Goddess reminds me of Hamilton when Washington is dictating his Farewell Address. I know it's gotta be in other musicals, too, but that's the clearest comparison for this nerd at the moment.

Jeff sneaking in the "castle on a hill" song reference in this song.

Kim and Bryce dueting together is just Power incarnate. Holy cow. It's so good.

"You shall be as radiant and terrible as I." Ooooooh. Yes. Gimme.

The Narrator sneaking out from amidst the ensemble to finish off the song was really neat.

That fading spotlight before curtain for intermission with just Ella's face in view is so beautiful and haunting. What an epic close to Act I.

Also, it seems like this was also a strategic way to imply Ella's outfit being transformed there on stage during the song without actually having to do the tricky costume designing quick-change theater miracles of an ACTUAL outfit transformation. Which is really brilliant. Leave the audience to wonder until post-intermission about what Ella's starlight dress will look like.

[chasingshadowsblog]

Review: Unicorns - Heart and Soul

Title: Unicorns Directed by: Sally El-Hosaini and James Krishna Floyd Written by: James Krishna Floyd Starring: Jason Patel and Ben Hardy Director of photography: David Raedecker Production designer: Robert Wischhusen-Hayes Art director: Chris Evans-Wilson Costume designer: Nirage Mirage Year: 2023

Unicorns is a story of worlds colliding and others forced to skirt around each other; Luke, a straight, white mechanic from Essex stumbles accidentally into the world of British-Muslim drag queen Aysha. After their first fateful meeting, they step tentatively into each other's lives, finding comfort and friendship in each other's company while being painfully aware of the outer world and how it affects them and their relationship.

As Aysha, Jason Patel balances an endearing confidence with a grim awareness of the world and her place in it. Aysha navigates her life with an uncompromising sense of self-preservation that stems from a desire to be safe in the world, presenting and identifying as her true self, but knowing that the world isn't safe for her to be in yet. Luke, a heretofore straight, single father, kisses Aysha the night they meet, but runs away when he realises that she is not the cis-woman he thought she was. After this night, Aysha and Luke become inextricably linked, each wholly fascinated by the other and any time one tries to pull away, the other won't let them do so. As a queer Muslim, Aysha is living a double life; she’s kept Aysha a secret from her conservative parents in Manchester while trying to keep Ashiq at a distance from Luke who is still coming to terms with his evolving sexuality. Luke invites Aysha into his family through his young son, but struggles with the traditional views of masculinity that are still evident in his environment and the people he spends time with. Ben Hardy is electric in the role, keeping his emotions caged, as he grows accustomed to Aysha's world and a new understanding of his identity, but always simmering underneath the surface ready to burst. Their chemistry is organic and honest and makes real a situation that might be unusual to many people, but is, ultimately, about trying to live your life.

Unicorns explores everything from sexual identity and gender roles to cultural identity, but it is, at heart, a love story between two unlikely people. Bearing in mind those tricky subjects, that love is never easy for Aysha and Luke even when the dynamic between the two actors makes it seem like the easiest thing in the world.

Other bits:

I'm trying to incorporate more crew into these reviews depending on what stood out to me, for Unicorns it was a lot of the aesthetic/visual elements

the colour schemes throughout the film are gorgeous, even when it's grey and brown and dull it's still so powerful and effective

I love how the film allows time for Luke and Aysha to connect to each other after their initial meeting; their attraction to each other is always simmering underneath but they don't act on it prematurely instead they get to actually enjoy each other's company before pursuing a physical relationship

as much as I loved the build-up of their relationship, I was left wondering about the connotations of Luke's attraction to Aysha as opposed to Ashiq and how Aysha/Ashiq actually identifies; at the end Aysha seems to embrace Ashiq somewhat more but I wasn't sure how Luke played into that and would have been interested to explore this part of their dynamic more (Unicorns 2 is what I'm saying)

the way they get physically closer to each other as they grow more comfortable in each other's presence - all of the visual cues in this film are amazing

PSA: if I've incorrectly labelled Aysha or there's an issue with me referring to her as Aysha/Ashiq please let me know and I'll edit, any mistakes are made out of well-meaning ignorance and I'd love to be educated on the matter if I'm incorrect! (I'd also love to be complimented if I've done well, just sayin' 😉)

[crmsnmth]

This Afterparty Isn't All That Fun

Last call has been made, but it was made collect and the whole place rushes to rush the bartender Young dancing women, groups of friends laughing at this time of night there the same has those on a bender An old man sits aside, a can of Olde Style in front of him His eyes are closed and briefly I wonder if he's alive or dead I get my last glass of whiskey, two fingers and neat and try to forget the last sentence that you said

Some of us stumble outside, with no crutch holding us up and seeing other's leave in lover's pairs, crushes my mood again I make it outside, and light the wrong end of my cigarette I don't notice until the ember reaches the filter's end He locks the door behind us, we are no longer under his care Some of us go hone, to sleep in comfort and peace While others struggle to this party going I know just the place I can go to lay my head and sleep

Knock on the door of dealers with dollars He already knows what I want to gain from this I stand in his living room, looking at the dirty carpet Early morning air always seems so cool and crisp When I get what I need, I stuff deep in my pocket I can't let this part of me be seen yet In less then a month that will no longer matter He's amused by me, another stray becoming a pet

Back out into the city streets I despise Yet I've memorized just where all the streets grow I trapped myself in web's of pointless lies Don't ask me what's real, because I don't know

In my bed, I lay spinning and sick The drink leads me to believe I am fine Snort a line of the back of my laptop And yell at god for not giving me what was mine And maybe it's just anger, but I'm growing tired of holding a grudge I let go under the tutelage of Jack and Jim pint bottles Don't throw out the empties until every last drop is drawn and wait until every last swallow is swallowed

Pass out in dreamless sleep as the sun comes up this is not how I want to live my life But I'm too full of cowardice to actually make the change and so I sit up wide awake most nights I put the pencil to the notebook with letters written in shaky ends Writing the lines, figuring out the hook

I swore I'd stay strong for you But I'm sad to say it's just another promise I'll break I'm unreliable, and nobody can trust me anymore I'm slowly dying, is it by design or is this all a mistake? My last wish is to be buried anywhere but this city Let me be cremated and lost to the lake Make me ash, and I will make you queen Or say no, either way there's nothing at stake here

I see you sometimes on the sidewalks And every time I had behind others so you don't see me There's no way for us to a conversation at this time I'm still trying to deal with grieving your memory Can you mourn someone who lives a block away? I guess it's easier if I pretend your dead and gone Otherwise the thoughts too unbearable ideas Make me fill sick on getting something so wrong

The great equalizer comes and goes and we take the chance to love her Look how swift the river flows She looks like something.

Yea, she looks like my future

[dvar-trek]

wip weekend

everything's fine i am just having multiple consecutive hell weeks at work it's fine. anyway, here's 87 pictures of what i've been up to.

mitts: bizarre problem encountered when i got to the end of the first mitt. pattern said to pick up stitches along the cast-on edge and use the three-needle bind off to join the edges, but drop 8 of the picked up stitches for the thumb hole. and then.... never says what to do with the yarn from those dropped stitches.

sent it to my cousin, the family's reigning pattern queen, who agreed that there's just. a step missing from this pattern or something. so i cast off as normal, and i'm going to block them flat and seam them.

behold! mitts!

i do desperately want to know what i was SUPPOSED to do though. after many experiments, this is the closest thing i could come up with, and it involved 3 working yarns, 4 needles, and 6 ends to weave in (plus more when i add the wrist strap on the real thing).

and the resulting hole seems.... not that stable ? the white tail that emerges from the thumbhole really REALLY wants to let loose and unravel.

now taking suggestions for 3N BO that leaves a functional thumbhole, if any of you are so inclined. i so dearly want to know what the designer had in mind.

bag: hurts my hands 😭

i might be stuck knitting flat for the rest of my life tbh.... i'm going to try moving up a cable length (16" to 20") to see if that helps at all, but it's been a significant strain on my grip and wrists so far. not as bad as on DPNs, but. not good. also not loving this yarn. i'm using Lamb's Pride bulky in Prairie Fire, which is a great color, but the yarn itself is sooooo slippery and splits sooooo easily that it's not really. the most fun i've ever had. switching from rosewood tips to bamboo tips helped a bit in this case, but. we'll see!

slippers: i started these at my dad's house, and finished them this past week.

i used Lang Snowflake in 1072.0087 (aka pink) and the pair took less than the full skein. had to restart twice because i wasnt compensating enough for my tiny stitches. ultimately CO 42 st, including 3 st garter border on either side. with so many stitches, i split the decreases into 3 rows (one row of k1, k2tog and 2 rows of k2tog. straps are 4 st across.) (<- boring notes for future nyx that could go on ravelry, but i don't have the patience for that).

very happy with the finished slippers! they came out a little long—if i make another pair in the future, i'll have to go down a half to a quarter inch—but they're warm and cozy, and the straps keep them from falling.

ALSO! this week at work was a conference week, so while listening to speakers i got a fair amount of knitting in. i wasn't the only one knitting, but i still fielded sO many judgemental questions and comments about my slippers.

a few of my favorite students want to learn to knit now though, so i might be starting a weekly lunch series with them! they spend so much time in class, and hopefully being able to knit during lectures will keep them from a) falling asleep and b) going on twitter. currently brainstorming how to execute this, but cautiously excited about the possibility.

just started: an experiment combining two patterns.

if it works out, i'd like to use it on what's left of the yarn i made the mitts with.

bonus content:

comrade boris is ready to be adopted! tell all your friends!

[iloveabunchofgames]

Week In Review - 3/12/23

#JakeReviewsItch Week In Review Archives

This week's reviews:

🧡🧡🧡🧡🤍 Alien Life Lab 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 All Haze Eve 🧡🧡🧡🧡🤍 All You Can Eat 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 Alone With You 🧡🧡🧡🧡🤍 Alt-Frequencies 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 Ambidangerous 🧡🧡🧡🤍🤍 Amelie

It's a week of messes! Steam is a mess! I am a mess! Even the Game of the Week is a mess!

Game of the Week

All You Can Eat is easily the best game I reviewed this week. Alt-Frequencies is the clear runner-up. Game of the Week, however, is a title that goes to the game that's still occupying my brain after the fact...

At the end of my Alien Life Lab review, I said it had a New Game+/Second Quest thing. I think I was wrong. I thought the game was telling me to play again, but this time there would be three aliens who would need to be rescued along the way. In reality, I think this secondary objective had been there from the start, and I just didn't notice. So I played it a second time. I talked to every space person I saw, some of whom followed me. I finished, and found that I'd only rescued 1/3. Rats. I'll probably never see the good ending, and that's okay. Each time I loaded the game, I thought, "I overrated this, right? It's sort of trash, isn't it? Do I like it ironically? And every time, I got sucked right back in to it. I like it more now than when I reviewed it. I like it as much or more than I like the turn-of-the-millennium shooters and immersive sims that it recalls—System Shock 2, Half-Life, Deus Ex...

It is a mess. It's easy to articulate its faults. There's just something about how thoroughly weird and unpretentious it is, though, and even after beating it twice in a week, it still rattles me. It pulls off jump scares just as well in open, brightly lit arenas as it does in darkened, twisting paths lined with squishy, organic matter. Oh, yes, the audio design. That's the real source of dread. Again, All You Can Eat is the game to play this week. It's currently the third-best reviewed game on this site. It pushes the adventure game genre in such an exciting direction that half of my review was just the repeated word, "Genius!" Alt-Frequencies is the most mainstream pick of the bunch, and not because it lacks fresh ideas and idiosyncrasies. It's currently the fourth-best reviewed game on this site. I have another game from Accidental Queens on the review docket for the week after next, and I am jazzed. That studio hasn't missed yet.

Alien Life Lab is stupid and weird. I can't stop thinking about it.

Steam Is Hot Air

Do you remember 2003? Do you remember Valve requiring some big, annoying launcher service for anyone who wanted to play Half-Life 2? If you don't, let me tell you: A lot of people wanted to play Half-Life 2, and a lot of them were not happy about downloading this "Steam" thing. They wanted you to check in online every time you launched a game???

I'd hoped to illustrate the vitriol with contemporary examples. Forum posts, IGN editorials; that kind of thing. Unfortunately, the best archival records I could find come from the creeps at Penny-Arcade. These guys are awful, and I'd rather not link to their site, but they had their finger on the pulse when it came to petty grievances. They were influencers. When Jerry "Tycho" Holkins wrote about being scared of a computer asking for credit card information or about local-multiplayer enthusiasts feeling infuriated because they couldn't connect to Steam from their local LAN café, he was capturing the whiny, online zeitgeist. I didn't have high-speed Internet or a computer capable of running Half-Life 2 in 2003, so that particular controversy didn't occupy much space on my radar. I do remember the first time I played Half-Life 2 at a friend's house. Launching the game seemed like a process, accompanied by a halfhearted rant from my friend that was aimed equally at Steam and the idiots who acted like this mildly obtrusive application was tantamount to a war crime. Let me jump forward and ask: What exactly was the Epic Games Store hullabaloo? Or maybe that should be is; not was. I still see people taking up arms over...something. There are a million valid reason to dislike and distrust Epic as a company, but as far as I can gather, the crusaders are angry that a big corporation threw around a lot of money to complete with another big corporation? I'm generally against impossibly wealthy corporations reshaping the world to their liking, but look consider how pathetic and unnecessary Ubisoft's and Electronic Arts' launchers are. Even with Epic snagging a exclusives and timed exclusives, have they made any kind of dent in Steam's monopoly? Let's talk about the danger of consolidated power.

I've mentioned before that when I play PC games, I use my third-party Switch Pro Controller whenever possible. It feels good. It was dirt cheap. It works for me. Or it did work for me, until a few months ago. Most modern games are prepared to encounter an Xbox controller. PlayStation controller support is not uncommon. Native Switch controller support, though? Forget it. In a recent update, Steam added full, official support for Steam controllers of all kinds...but not my controller. What had happily been accepted as a Switch Pro Controller one day was read as an Xbox controller the next. The Screen Capture Button that had never had any issues no longer does anything, because an Xbox 360 controller doesn't have that button, and apparently that's what I'm using. I lost rumble support on some games. The little surprises never end. And because Steam has historically been the PC's best bet for controller support, other launchers don't offer any competitive options. Go to any Reddit thread where people want to know how to make their controller work, and 9/10 replies are the same thing: Steam Big Picture Mode.

This is the most dramatic update in 20 years of Steam, and Valve just seems to be sinking deeper into the muck each day. If you haven't personally noticed any issues, look no further than the patch notes for proof that everything's in shambles, all the time. I encountered a bug where Big Picture Mode would make a sound like it was launching, and then it would just show my desktop. I found some suggestions online and got things working. Then, in the next update, they broke it all over again.

When it works, I don't have much beef with Steam. I prefer it to the old days of games installing wherever they pleased. I like that having an account that allows me to maintain my game library indefinitely, no matter how many times I replace my computer. Steam has been good to me.

But the naysayers were onto something. Digital Rights Management is only as good or as bad as the rights-holder chooses to be, and we all know how trustworthy and stable corporations are.

My Itch library may consist of "DRM-free" applications, but I'm depending on Itch to keep up its end. If the company folded tomorrow, there's no way I could download and back-up all my games.

I own games through GOG, Ubisoft, and Rockstar. Their launchers are fine, but I'm not comfortable making additional purchases on any service run by companies that (aLlEgEdLy) cover up systemic harassment and abuse. I have handfuls of games tied to this account or that. I'd obviously prefer to have them all in one place, but who can you trust? Can you ever really trust anyone?

Steam is still the best option. It's only real option, which is to say, we don't have options. It's working so far. Except when it's not. Can't wait to see what they break with the next patch.

Jake Reviews #JakeReviewsTwitch

Take a look at the tiny blue text at the bottom of this post. It appears on almost everything I post. But today, it's different. Today, it says, "#JakeReviewsItch" for the first time. I'm in my third month of posting at least once a day, and this is the first time I've noticed that my template has had a ridiculous typo all along. I remember writing "Twitch" when I meant "Itch" on the first day. I corrected it. It's something I've written and corrected many more times since then. I probably should have known to double check for it in my template as soon as I started using a template. I probably did. I probably deleted "Twitch" and wrote "Twitch" in its place. I've made changes to my format little by little since I started. Every day, I think, "I should shake it up. Question everything I'm doing. Tear it down and build something new. I should give scores out of 10, rather than five. Some of these 4/5s should be 3/5s, and some of these 3/5s should be 1/5; better adjust the whole scale. Tumblr isn't the right place for these reviews, anyway. How hard would it be to transfer to another site? And when am I going to write a post about everything wrong with my page?" Maybe it would be easier if I just committed to reviewing every single stream on Twitch

#JakeReviewsItch is a series of daily game reviews. You can learn more here. You can also browse past reviews…

• By name • By rating • By genre

[crymeariveronceagain]

River's Thoughts after reading Lodestar again:

Wow did this book rip your brain out and stab it

also i highkey had a mini breakdown in the middle of this book, took a break and read a comfort book, and then went back to reading it today. So like. Yeah, progress?

Literally this has been the most sophitz up to this point and do you know what? Keefe is still a better love interest. I could write an essay on how Shannon is making us want Sokeefe unconsciously. Everything she does, every good moment we get with Fitz, it is always overshadowed with a love for Keefe. Shannon is making us think about Keefe at every single moment of this book. And it's like she specifically doesn't want us to focus on Fitz's newfound feelings for Soph.

I'm not afraid to say it. Sophie Foster loves Keefe. So much. It's apparent in every way she interacts with him. It's obvious in every way she comforts, every way she screams, every way her heart is caught up in him and his wellbeing and him him him him him. Sure, it's not the healthiest atm, what with the world falling to pieces and the trauma both of them are steadily living through, but holy mother trucker like a butcheek on a stick do those two love each other. Keefe is literally willing to do absolutely anything and everything for her, at the cost of himself, and she is willing to do anything and everything to protect him. My stars. These idiots got a whole fandom of middle schoolers up in arms over what was obvious from book five. They love each other, madly, desperately, and hopelessly. And sooner or later, they're gonna have to look each other in the eyes and face that fact.

my copy of lodestar is falling apart

i'd like to take a moment to tell my ex that he can go screw himself because that's not how you treat a lady's books.

Screw you, PJM. You know who you are, asshat.

Mr. Forkle went straight back to dehumanizing Sophie. Like, he took a break from it in Neverseen, but in this book, she is a weapon, a creation, a project, everything in between. No one thinks she's real. She's just a piece of a greater plan. And Mr. Forkle does not shy away from telling her so. At the end of the book, during the Summit, he has the actual gall to act like she's taken control of herself like, no, idiot, you raised her like this. You created this. You made this. You designed this. You may not be pulling the strings anymore but this little girl was still designed to be your puppet.

Gethen is the best Neverseen Member, I love every scene with him in it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, I'll be here all weekend.

Brant is... so very. Much. All of the time.

Oh, my stars, I have so many problems with the Enhancing ability you don't even understand. Like, literally, strip her freedom away more why don'tcha. This was just an asinine move in every way. Don't give your weapon something like this. Don't design her this way. Don't be an idiot, sure, she may be an asset to you, now, but she's an asset to everyone else, around her. Like, once anyone knows that she's got this power, it's game over. They literally just capture her and force her to hold their hands like she's some kind of toy. Battle won instantaneously.

Oh, Sokeefe, how I love thee, let me count the quotes I've underlined with such captions as "t h e m".

I tried there's too many.

Okay, but the thing is that Linh literally throws herself backwards when she finds out Sophie's an enhancer. Linh's terrified of this new ability. Grady hates it. Like, does no one else see the downfall of making Sophie dangerous to the touch? Like, this poor girl is already so affection-starved, we're just gonna take it all from her???

EDALINE!!!!!! SO AMAZING!!! I'D KILL AND DIE FOR HER!!!! LOOK AT MY MOMMA BEAR GO AT THE END OF THIS BOOK SLAY QUEEN.

Keefe is just so traumatized. And everyone's like, "clearly, he's evil" and sophie is like "no, he's flipping traumatized" and everyone's like "what's trauma lmao" and sophie's like "im not a psychologist but i feel like it's when bad happens" and everyone's like "nah let's not take that into account" like what don't be idiots this is a kid without a support system not the evil spawn of satan

Actually Grady calling Keefe "That Boy" is disgusting, it's the first thing I've strongly disliked that Grady does, and I'm never going to be over how quickly everyone in this fandom just took the nickname and decided it was a joke, instead of how Grady says that Keefe doesn't deserve to be referred to by a name at all, and says he'll have to earn his own name back. Like, ehe, no, Dad of mine, please be kind to the poor kid.

Grady was honestly pretty out of character in this book. I love the guy but jeepers someone tell him the separation between violence and the elven mind is imaginary and created by society and let him go batshit crazy on every single person in the lost cities who hurt his daughter, and also let him stick up for Keefe and see the similarities between Keefe and Jolie, doing dangerous things for the people they love, and all that.

if i have to hear one more thing about how the neverseen distract from the problem and the black swan doesn't im going to start hitting people(probably forkle)

council is so bloody fricked lmao there's no way they're making it out of this book series with any sort of governmental claim over actually literally anything

Oralie is so very Sophie's mom it's kind of startling to look back and see. Like, even Sophie expects Oralie to be her mom.

Okay, I'm sorry, but the way the Neverseen knew how everything was going to go down seems Deus Ex. Not even going to lie. I feel like it was something that Shannon needed to happen and so she just lined up the dominos. It feels very Deus Ex. Or, *coff coff* Neverseen Alden.

Oh, how I want to slap Gisela Sencen hard enough that her pea-sized brains rattle in her ginormous skull made out of her own ego.

I love how the fandom highkey forgets actively how much of a complete psycho Fintan is. Like, we all just see flamboyant arsonist and make grabby hands while canon Fintan is sitting in the corner talking to himself about blood and how pretty your skin is.

Y'know, I actually am beginning to think that Gisela would be the parent who would actually get around to hurting Keefe. I seriously think that Cassius wouldn't hurt his kid. Maybe if really angry, but not purposefully, or with intent to punish or harm. I think Gisela would. Like, if one of the two adults actually ever hit Keefe, ever actively used it as a punishment and did it more out of "this is the only way you'll learn" I honestly feel like it would be Gisela. Hmm. Time to write a fic about Keefe experiencing some severe physical pain and having no clue why. Or why he's flinching so bad at nothing when he can't remember anything coming at him like that. Because Gisela definitely gets his mind washed often.

"Did they just admit they're training us to kill" yes. They are. Get over it, Sophie. It's just a little violence. You went to exilium. You've got this handled.

Oh, my gosh, the way the Song parents makes me want to claw my skin off. That's just... that's so accurate as to how awful parents are around the public eye. They're just... good people, would never hurt their kids, so sad they've lost out on things, and yeah. Like, it's just something I never picked up on before. Tam and Linh are severely traumatized by their parents. And in the first scene you meet them, the Songs are nice people. Reasonable. Their children ran away. Don't you feel bad for them?

No, I sure the heck don't. <3

Fitz listens to his dad's secret conversations. No thoughts, just a comment.

Emperess Pernille and Oralie are best friends someone please write me a fic

Okay I have so many thoughts about the end of Lodestar i don't even think i want to write them in this post because it's just so very much to think about

i suppose i can try to summarize?

every other species(sans gnomes) commits murder under elven standards.

the summit was right to listen to Fintan Pyren.

The Council and The Black Swan do not listen to the Neverseen and try to fight them without knowing what they want, really.

Fintan says the problem is humans, but talks like they are really the solution, the catalyst, the final piece to the puzzle, the way to connect all the dots.

anyways this book screwed with my head and i equally never want to touch a volume again and immediately begin Nightfall just so i can kiss Keefe full on the mouth for existing in person again.

[technowoah]

THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)

CHAPTER FIVE : AND I REALIZE THREE FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.

Chapter Summary: You had gotten what you wanted, but at what cost? Nightmares ensue, and Dream’s true colors begin to show.

pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader

an// IM BACK!! hopefully yall like this chaper cause this is the last one that I wrote in the past, Im writing chapter 6 rn so it might take a while. Also sorry for not posting requests I really wanted to get this chapter out there

⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, arguing, smoking, explosions, gaslighting(?), not proofread.

Series Masterlist 

"Good job you two! This is all yours now.”

Dream had led you and Eret back to the castle, all of them still battered and bruised from the war they recently had. You had already taken off your armor and now you were wearing underneath your L'Manburg outfit that was torn and burnt showing some of your skin which was also burnt or cut. You had noticed on the way to the castle that Dream had kept on looking at the outfit that Eret and you had on with disgust, like a taunt.

You could finally relax in the huge castle that you apparently deserved because you and Eret had taken the first lives of the citizens of L'Manburg. In your heart you knew that L'Manburg was still a country. They all have two more lives and they will build the country up again with those two lives. You sighed then kept walking into the throne room. you looked at the two big thrones that sat next to each other. One for a king and one for a queen.

"Why are you standing there? Sit down! Relax!" Dream patted one of the thrones.

You and Eret had sat down on the thrones next to each other looking around the huge throne room and Dream smiling right in front of them. Once you both sat down you tried to sit up straight, but you wanted to slump down into the comfy, plush, velvet and gold chair. The two of them sat on velvet and gold thrones while in burnt and torn L'Manburg uniforms. It was a sight to see, and if someone didn't know the context of what just happened, this scene would've made sense to them.

"I'm happy you did this. You deserve all of this." Dream said while walking along the marble floor.

"It's beautiful, but I'm exhausted." You let your head fall to the side. You sighed wanting Dream to leave so you could finally get some rest.

"I bet."

"Eret are you okay?" You spoke up after Dream.

Eret had a look that you couldn't make out. He just stared off into space in his own mind. He shook his head after you called for him again.

"Yeah, yeah I am fine. I'm just thinking." Eret quickly responded.

"What are you thinking about?" Dream said in a monotone voice.

"If we did the right thing." Eret sighed.

You slowly nodded because you were thinking the exact same thing. They were traitors, you had built somewhat of a connection with those people you helped kill. And now what? you're living in a huge castle and apparently you "Shouldn't be feeling this way", Dream claimed.

"You two are overreacting. They are fine." Dream said bluntly while staring at them with a straight face.

That was a huge lie, their lives were taken today. They're not just “fine”.

"You two were never a part of that place anyways. This is your home! Why would you need to wear those hideous colors? They look bad on you, it's unflattering. There is no need to go back." Dream explained.

You hang your head not knowing what to say to the man, there wasn’t really anything to say but you spoke up hoping the words will come to you.

"I don't-"

"You don't have to say anything, it's okay. You're safe now. Did you get hurt?" Dream asked.

The bruises and scars said differently.

"Remember when I said that?" Dream pushed the question.

You rubbed a burn mark on your wrist and laughed a bit. "No! Actually I don't. We're safe now, but that doesn't mean we aren't hurt." You chuckled in disbelief.

"Well maybe if you listened to me you wouldn't be so anxious. If you listened you wouldn't have been so hesitant. You're safe." Dream said sternly.

"Maybe you're tired, Dream. We're all tired. Shall we go to bed?" Eret stood up and held out his hand to help you up from your seat.

You accepted his hand and started to follow Eret through the huge castle making your way through the huge, high ceiling halls. The three walked towards the king's and queen's room in the castle, Dream kept a slower pace and walked behind the two wanting to get one more word in before leaving the castle.

"If you two are ever in doubt just remember that you are on the right side of history." Dream said then turned around to leave the two alone.

You both stopped and turned around to see Dream’s back facing the both of you as he walked away. You and Eret eventually made it to your new bedrooms. There was a big door which held a huge room made for the both of them to sleep in and two separate rooms next to the bigger door which were made for one person. Eret and you stood in front of the bigger door staring at the intricate designs on the door not speaking to each other.

"So?" Eret laughed.

"So!" You exclaimed while chuckling.

"Are you okay sleeping in that huge room tonight?" Eret asked.

"I'm not totally comfortable with that, but it would be weird if we slept in the same bed. Don't get me wrong! You're a great friend, but-"

"Y/N/N stop! I'm okay with that too. I wasn't looking to sleep in the same bed. Yes we're married, but we're just staying friends, hey we might get a divorce later." Eret explained.

"If I do, we won't be king and queen anymore." You said softly to your husband.

"Is that what you want? To be "queen"?" Eret asked while putting air quotes around the word queen.

You paused for a moment then answered his question.

"I don't know where I'm supposed to be, Eret." You looked up at him sadly and he pulled you in for a hug. It took you everything you had to not cry into the L'Manburg uniform Eret was wearing. Today drained you mentally and physically, your hands were raw from shooting arrows, you had burn marks on your skin and your feet hurt from running through the kingdom. You weren’t sure about where you would go, because this didn't feel like your home.

"Let's go to bed and we'll talk in the morning. Rest on it because I'll happily divorce you so you can find your place in this huge kingdom." Eret laughed and let you out of his arms.

You chuckled and then let him go walking into what was supposed to be the queen's room and right next to it was the king's room which they both walked in after saying goodnight and closing their doors finally having time to themselves after a long day.

You finally took off the L'Manburg uniform and laid it on a velvet chair in the corner of the huge room. You stared at the uniform before going to the nearest closet and picking out something to wear for that night. The queen's room was basically the huge couple's room that you found before, but just with a smaller bed. There were still trinkets, jewelry and even clothes in the closet. you took a nightgown out of the closet and sat on the plush bed. You ended up laying down staring at the high ceiling thinking of the predicament Eret's question brought.

You finally retired for the night and crawled into bed and got under the soft covers. The window was open so a soft cool breeze was blowing through the room letting the curtains flow with the breeze. If you left you wouldn't have anywhere to go except back to L'Manburg, they would never let you back even if you tried. They probably hated your guts by now, so maybe divorcing wasn't a good idea. You had a set home here, you had food, clothes, and you weren't under attack every minute. you didn't have to watch your back for any enemies.

Your mind slowed down as you finally lulled yourself into a deep sleep forgetting the troubles in your mind for only a moment.

-------------------

The sunset fell over the horizon making it a gold, red color. It was beautiful. The trees were illuminated and the lakes had a certain glow to them. you could see mobs began to crawl out of the ground and caves, but you was safe up here.

You looked down and saw the familiar obsidian walls. It seemed like a faint memory, but in reality the walls were real. It was like you could feel the stone underneath your feet at this moment. you could see inside L'Manburg.

you saw Tubbo and Tommy laying in the grass talking to one another. you saw Fundy sleeping in the grass next to them. There were two new faces you had never seen before. It was a woman with short pink hair and another man with a shaved head. It might've been your mind putting people in your dreams to fill space. Then you saw Eret sitting by a small river letting his bare feet flow in the water. It was a peaceful scene.

"Beautiful sunset isn't it?" A voice showed up beside you.

It was Wilbur. He had his uniform on, it was clean like the war didn't even happen.

"It is really beautiful." You agreed watching the sun continue to lower over the trees.

"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall." Wilbur said, keeping his gaze soft at the sunset.

You hummed but stayed quiet admiring his words and the sunset.

"Let me tell you what I wish I'd known when I was young and dreamed of glory. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story. After you took one of my lives away I understand now. You can't control other people and their motivations."

You hang your head in disappointment, but then Wilbur continued.

"But I know that we can win. I know that greatness lies in you, but remember from here on in that history has its eyes on you. History will forever have its eyes on you no matter what you do." Wilbur looked into your eyes as the sun set on the two of them the stars began to shine.

The light brown eyes Wilbur had turned darker because of the sunlight being gone. You looked out back at the mobs in the forest and the huge towers in the sky made the kingdoms members. you turned around and looked into L'Manburg. Or what was considered L'Manburg.

There was no one there anymore, instead of people there were huge amounts of TNT that filled the walls behind them. you could hear faint voices around them, people that you didn't know. It sounded like chaos. you whipped your head around to Wilbur who was dressed in a brown tattered trench coat, brown pants, and a white shirt instead of the L'Manburg uniform.

He had a cigarette in his mouth and matches in his hands. He smirked at you as the voices around you got louder and your head sounded like you were in the middle of a tornado. your head was buzzing as your eyes couldn't focus on Wilbur in front of you. It felt like these moments were happening right in front of your all at one time.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?"

"You know if I die, this country goes down with me."

"if respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?"

"Kill me, Phil. Phil, kill me, Phil kill me! Phil, stab me with the sword, murder me now, kill me! Look-"

"You know Y/N" Wilbur started next to you. He lit a match and turned around to L'Manburg which was now filled with TNT.

"Somethings. Somethings were never meant to be." He threw the match into the huge pile of TNT and all in a second the obsidian underneath your feet disappeared as you fell into the explosion beneath you.

-------------------------

"Fuck! Where am I?!" You shot up from your sleeping position in a cold sweat.

You frantically felt around the bed trying to convince yourself that you were physically at the castle in your bed. You finally caught your breath and laid back down in your bed finding yourself staring at the ceiling again. Even with the window open blowing cool air into the room, your skin still felt hot. You ended up tossing the covers off of you and making your way towards the entrance of the kingdom to get some air.

That dream was so much stuff in it you couldn't comprehend all of it. It was like Wilbur was there as if he was talking to you directly and it wasn't a dream and it made you second guess yourself and think that it may have not been a dream. You finally made it outside and sat on one of the steps that led people up into the kingdom. you sighed and breathed in the fresh air and it immediately relaxed your body and mind. You were alive, you were here and sadly Wilbur wasn't there. You closed your eyes and felt the breeze around you until you were startled by a figure beside you.

"You're up late. I thought you said you were mentally tired." Dream chuckled sitting beside you.

"I had a bad dream." You sighed.

"Hey don't take my name in vain like that" Dream laughed trying to bring up your mood.

Dream sighed and stood back up when he didn't get a response from his companion.

"Come one, let's go. Let's get your mind off of the one bad dream." Dream held his hand out, gesturing to you to take it.

You took his hand and then released it letting him lead the way to wherever the wind may take them. The dream is currently still stuck in your head. The voices from different people confused you and made your head spin.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?" What did that mean? Was someone threatening Tommy? Will someone threaten Tommy? You grew to care for that kid.

Who said "If I die, this country goes down with me"? What country. L'Manburg?

"If respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?" That one stumped you the most. you didn't even know if this was being spoken to you or to someone else. All of them except for the Tommy one.

Were they all even dreams? The one that haunted your mind the most was the one where someone was telling a man named Phil to kill them. Were you there for that moment? Did Phil kill the person? Who was Phil? All these thoughts and questions plagued your mind so much that your feet mindlessly carried you wherever Dream led you to.

"Here we are." Dream led You on top of a hill, a tall enough hill to see the main attraction. The place you missed the most, L'Manburg.

Tears started to form in your eyes and you tried blinking them away. All the moments of that dream appeared in your brain, but even stronger. you never felt these emotions before. Maybe L'Manburg was your home all along. you missed seeing Tubbo, Tommy, Eret and Fundy doing their own thing while your and Wilbur had a deep talk inside the van. you had spent weeks with them growing too attached to them and then ended up becoming a traitor.

"That place. You never belonged there. You're too good for them." Dream started and you stayed quiet watching the stars begin to disappear.

"Do you trust me?" Dream asked.

You stayed quiet not having the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear you say that you trusted him when in reality you couldn’t, you weren't fully there yet, not anymore. 

"They lied to you. It's not your home." Dream continued on letting you listen and not talk.

"How did you know if someone said it was my home or not?" You asked, startled.

"I might've been keeping an eye on you. I wanted to make sure my flower was okay." Dream kept his gaze on L'Manburg.

"Stop calling me that." You sighed.

"I never started. This was the first time I said that. Who called you flower?" Dream suddenly got serious, staring at you.

you kept your sights on the obsidian walls, not sparing him a glance. The stars began to fade and the sun peeked over the horizon. As they stayed longer the sun rose over the walls of L'Manburg. You started to remember the words in the dream you had.

"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall."

L'Manburg stands for independence. Independence. That word kept ringing through your head like a mantra until a few voices below the hill and near the walls alerted you.

"HEY! Hey Wilbur! Give me back my shit!" Tommy yelled as he stomped after the older man.

"Wilbur get Tommy to stop shouting and give him his swords back please!" Fundy yelled trailing behind the two.

"No not until he learns not to go start stabbing shit!" Wilbur yelled back at the other two.

You missed that. you missed the bickering and the nonsense they all shared. you were upset that Tommy still hadn't learned his lesson and you wished you were there beside them at that moment.

Dream spoke up giving you a look you couldn’t quite get. "You are never allowed to step inside those walls again.

"What gives you the right to tell me what and what not to do? Who does that make you? Who do you think-"

"YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO GO IN THOSE WALLS!" Dream yelled getting dangerously close to you.

You continued to stare at those blue eyes as the bright sun rose over the dark walls of L’Manburg. you didn't say anything but descended down the mountain alone with the sounds of Tommy, Fundy, and Wilbur bickering in the background, wishing you were there and not next to the man next to you who was staring at you angrily.

"I know what’s good for you! I know what's good for this country! Just trust me Y/N!" Dream yelled starting an argument

"Would you calm down! You came here to be all quiet and now you're yelling at me. You might want to be quiet before Wilbur hears you. Or do you want me to get him myself?" You yelled back, getting furious.

"Oh you wish! He doesn't care for you as much as me, Sapnap and George do! They agree as well!"

"Don't put words into his mouth!" You accused

"Oh! So if he cares so fucking much he would've help save you. And do you know what would happen if he saved you?! You would've died! I saved you! You were in a perfect situation and all you had to do is not complain! You're always overreacting." Dream ended with a huff and rolled his eyes while turning away..

you were speechless at this point. Overwhelming emotions consumed you. you couldn't believe you were overreacting. Maybe Wilbur wasn't everything you needed. you were overreacting, you were being selfish too. Dream was right. Dream walked over to you pulling you in a hug with L'Manburg was still in your sights.

"I did everything because I love you. You're too precious for them, you're not for them. They don't deserve you, you deserve someone who wants the best for you. A flower that needs a home and I'm here to give it to you." Dream softly explained.

Your eyes kept tearing up at the words and different emotions flowing through you. The sights on L'Manburg make your memories and questions come back. Where did you belong? But more importantly who was telling the truth?

Taglist: @hi-imuwu @k-l-a-w-s

[neitherlightnordark]

queen. Quueeeeeennnnnnie

QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!

FAV: oh you guys know. let's go: she's terribly hilarious and iconic, she's (as my best friend put it) the most utdr character ever, her design (ALL of it) slaps, all her songs slap, she balances being goofy and wacky and being competent and terrifying and intelligent, the mansion and all of cyber world is full of personality cause it's her home, she has an edge of tragedy and sadness to her that's never focused on but is still there, the way it's revealed how much she cares and how determined she is is built up so well, she has it all she HAS it ALL

LEAST: hmm. uhh. hmm. i'll come back to this

CANON: THE CYBER CITY GANG!!! which is her, berdly, noelle, and also kris as a sort of peripheral perspective to it all. i don't talk about them much since canon does it so well but MANNNN!!!! they literally make each other worse and i use that liberally i know but it means so much here. they're a flawed family and queen emulates that by running after noelle and avoiding berdly and being terrible and being great. that moment when they laugh together at the end????????????

NONCANON: mm. mmM. m.. m . mm. okay fine it's either whatever the hell is going on with my swatch and queen or the hell i Know is going on with queen and seam. <3 i've talked about them extensively too but they (seam and queen) are so special to me, and ALSO swatch and queen actively enabling each other's terribleness!!! it's definitely noncanon cause canon emphasizes how lonely queen is in the moment but hear me out: queen's very good at hiding how much she cares about people. (and swatch is kind of not.) (i love you swatch)

SEXUALITY: she's aro <3 she's a computer!!!! the classic awesome epic fanfic everyone should read that i'll add a link to later on talks about that a little in a way i like (it's like Noelle I Am A Computer I Feel No Romantic Attraction But I Read Twilight which. god) she definitely... what's the word she dabbles in it but also doesn't? and everyone who's ever met her and can has a crush on her. see: her friends see: cyber world see: almost every character the utdr team has ever made see:

DAY: ohhhhhh UMMM i'd literally just be like omg queen deltarune!! omg queen REAL!! omg!!!!! and then i'd literally just be okay following her around and talking about random stuff. it'd be kinda intimidating and the day would end with me feeling a vague regret that i didn't really get to know her, but still quite satisfied with what we'd done. she drives me home and the car explodes on her way out

FACT: shes trans

[millakatariina64]

Happy Saiou Day!! 💙💜

So if anyone remembers last summer I said I'd post the complete portraits of my talentswap designs and a climactic scene from the AU with a full summary when they're finished? Well, I didn't forget!

So, below are my headcanons for Ultimate Supreme Leader Shuichi and Ultimate Detective Kokichi~!

(I'm really passionate about this AU, I hope you read it ':3)

(Tho no climactic scene unfortunately)

Ultimate Supreme Leader Shuichi

So first of all Shuichi's parents are still celebrities, move overseas and leave him with his uncle. However in this AU Shuichi's uncle is a politician who actually has a really good reputation. Problem is, his uncle is incredibly busy and is almost never home because of that. Still, he wants to be like his uncle (though the wish is fueled more with wanting to be good enough and accepted). Shuichi's personality is basically the same.

So then one day I Alligator girl's (Gonna call her Wani) alligator gets stolen by some group who're going to sell it and they threatened Wani to not call the police or tell anyone. So she asks Shuichi to help. Somehow they manage to retrieve the alligator together secretly (idk) and right afterwards one of Wani's friends is in trouble with some shady local business. So Wani suggests they make a group to stop these sorts of people and that Shuichi would be the leader. He agrees, he still wants to do something to make this world a better place like his uncle.

After that Wani starts asking her most trusted friends at school if they'd like to join (Shuichi would never have the social courage to ask someone that). When they get to 10 members (all girls) they stop growing for some time and decide to get themselves uniforms. When they're finally considering getting more people into the team since Shuichi doesn't really know these people, he decides to start wearing a mask to be safe. He also starts using the code name "Crow". The other 10 members go by flower names.

The group then grows a lot. And by the time Shuichi's officially scouted to be an Ultimate, it has around 1500 members. And it's making him very worried as Shuichi's not even sure anymore if he's skilled enough to lead it. The group started out stopping or changing corrupt businessmen, unethical businesses and other evil groups. And although that still is what they do, he's realized that the way they go about things is pretty illegal. (When he first realized this, he started wearing a hat.) Obviously he forbids violence, but they still use blackmail and steal information. Also they need money for the group to function at this point so they've had to get it through illegal means that Shuichi's not sure of anymore. So Shuichi is immensely scared of being revealed as the organization's leader because it would completely destroy his organization and it would also annihilate his uncle's as well as his parents' careers on the spot. Basically everything would get ruined and it would be a nation-wide scandal. Perhaps even an international scandal.

He gets even more worried when the police finally start realizing there's some sort of group that's blackmailing big businesses and start investigating.

When he gets scouted to Hope's Peak, the letter comes to his base and even HPA doesn't know his identity, just that he's a high school student. He doesn't think like he deserves the title at all since it's really his organization that does the hard stuff and Wani's the one that's made it grow and he shouldn't be panicking like this if he really was a "great leader". But he still decides to go due to "If you manage to graduate from Hope's Peak, you will be set for life!". But as his family can't know of him being scouted there as the Ultimate Supreme Leader, he forges a letter claiming he's the Ultimate Lucky Student which he shows to them. And at HPA he requests he be referred to by that title.

Problem is, now his year group has 2 Ultimate Lucky Students and a certain Ultimate Detective gets suspicious.

Miscellaneous: Shuichi really wants to use make-up but he's really afraid to at home since he feels his uncle would think it's really weird. So at the organization's base Wani heard about it and got him some makeup and now Shuichi wears makeup when on missions and at the base. Also the organization has a helicopter. (It's a central part of that climactic scene I talk so much about.) Shuichi thinks about becoming a detective perhaps, but he's not sure how he'd be able to leave his group anymore so...

Ultimate Detective Kokichi

For Kokichi I still have my pretty elaborate origin story. His early years are great until at some point his real father finds out that Kokichi's mother had actually had the Kokichi and his older twin brother with him and not her husband leaving him alone. And thus he murders Kokichi's mother out of spite. Kokichi and Tamotsu (my headcanon name for his twin) see the murder take place and flee. However, they were never actually able to make out who the murderer was and they knew even less of why their mother was murdered.

The murder never gets solved and this mystery stays in Kokichi's mind. Who ruined his life, who killed his mother?

(I feel they'd have like an uncle and their mother's husband lived with them obviously. There'd also be other factors like disposed evidence and the suspects vanishing making the murder so much harder to figure out afterwards.)

So Kokichi and Tamotsu end up at an orphanage, one related to the one Maki's at. It's kind of a terrible place, but it's where Kokichi meets (most of) Dice. They become inseparable friends (tho don't form a group with the name Dice. I'll still call them that here for clarity's sake though). However Tamotsu who had always been supporting Kokichi and being there for him at his side starts becoming bitter (jealous?) against Kokichi due to dice and starts turning against them. This is the time when Kokichi starts developing his lying to protect himself from Tamotsu as well as the borderline abusive authority at the orphanage. He's also started to figure out the dark secret of the orphanage training children to become assassins.

I feel like during this time a detective was investigating the orphanage. So when things get too dire and Kokichi and Dice escape the orphanage the detective ends up taking them in after finding them on the streets afterwards since he can't just send them to an orphanage at that point. So Kokichi and Dice end up staying with the detective and start helping him out. Kokichi's especially interested in the orphanage now and he and the detective with the help of the other Dice members figure out a lot of stuff. (This is also the time the rest of the Dice members "join".) Until one day the detective gets assassinated by someone from the orphanage sending them a message to stop the investigation.

So Kokichi takes over the Detective's office and to get by he starts working on all kinds of small cases with the help of Dice. And that's what they mostly do. Among those small cases are often cases that have something to do with saving children. However Kokichi occasionally also takes on homicides and investigates organizations. He wants to be prepared for when he finally investigates his mother's murder as well as the organization behind the orphanage. He wants those people locked up in jail forever.

Personality wise Kokichi's pretty much the same. He still loves pranks, lies all the time and would have elaborate stories (lies) about like for example how he was the one who managed to put the previous Queen of Novoselic's assassin behind bars. (The previous Queen was not even assassinated). He'd also jokingly blackmail people by claiming he knows something about them or could figure out something incriminating about them. He never really means it, though he would like try to find out harmless embarrassing secrets to mess with people.

Around the time he gets scouted to Hope's Peak he's specifically requested to assist in the investigation of a mysterious organization that steals information and sends blackmail and other such things. It's a huge flashy case, so of course he picks it up.

At Hope's Peak he then meets an (surprisingly mysterious?) Ultimate lucky student who seems really interested about his Ultimate detective talent and his lying.

Bonus

The original portraits from summer 2020. My laptop just broke when I finished the lineart and then I couldn't really edit them on my new tablet anymore and they were getting really old so I just decided to completely redo them. Also lmk if you want the sketch of the climactic scene since I'm not sure if I'll finish it even though I really like it. It looks pretty okay even if it's unfinished.

Also hope this is coherent and that I haven't forgotten anything aah. And damn if you actually made it this far gezus. This took like 4+ hours?? oops.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

[duanecbrooks]

Gabby and Hodie: You're Number One     You may recall that, in a past article, I laid out what are my all-time favorite literary creations. You my also recall that I said that the books that I picked as my all-time etc. are those once and for all categorically and for all time. Well, what's happened is, upon further reflection--and upon my dear, warm, sweet,loving cousin Emily's words to me (surely I don't have to tell you what they were) further coming to fruition--I've come to realize my real and true all-time favorite literary offering. And it's a tie between the women's-beach-volleyball sex boat Gabrielle Reece's ("with" Karen Karbo) life-lessons guide My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper: A Guide to the Less-Than-Perfect Life and the Today-show's-Fourth-Hour gal Hoda Kotb's ("with" Jane Lorenzini) personal/professional memoir Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee.               Allow me to say here that in coming to said realization, I had to dump quite a lot of weight. At first I thought that the former television-morning-show host Rene Syler's ("with" Karen Moline) parenting guide Good-Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting deserved to make the aforementioned list. However, further pondering has caused me to realize that, as humorous and as charming as Syler's tome is, in the final analysis it has to do with the doings of children and with the raising of children--and as much as I love kids and love reading/seeing what it is kids have to say, an entire book centering on them is simply not my aesthetic. For a while I sincerely believed that How to Lose Everything In Politics (Except Massachusetts), the then-journalist Kristi Witker's inside-the-1972-McGovern-presidential-try memoir, merited making the cut. Yet in time I remembered that, ever since 1976, when Carter won the White House and kicked Ford and all those other Nixon-era Republican third-raters out on their asses, my consistent interest in politics has majorly decreased--indeed, in the main I've come to sympathize with what the master TV interviewer Dick Cavett once told the 1960s/1970s far-left activist Jerry Rubin: "Politics bores the ass off me." Thus I've arrived at the conclusion that Witker's book, while it's chock-full of lively wit and penetrating insight, when all is said and done involves an area, namely politics, that on the whole has long stopped being my thing.                       OK. Now I'll go into why Reece's and Kotb's tomes have seized my heart.             .The front and back covers of both books are damned enticing. Both the front and the back covers of Reece's tome picture her with her intensely attractive offspring, both times sporting an insanely appealing bathing suit and both times showing off an insanely appealing pair of bare feet (The back cover of Reece's book clearly shows that she has an equally alluring stepdaughter). The front cover of Kotb's tome displays her dressed in a quite stylish blue pullover blouse and adorned in the kind of slacks that fully exhibit what her Today cohort Kathie Lee called her "long Egyptian legs and toes." (The fact that Kotb is wearing red toenail polish slightly takes away from her dazzling visual appeal, but only slightly) And on both the front and back covers there are the sort of endorsements that easily pull you in. On the back cover of Reece's tome the former television Friend Courteney Cox is quoted as asserting: "I read My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper in one sitting...Everyone who is married--or thinking about getting married--should read this." On the front cover of Kotb's book there are words from People Magazine ("Bubbly and engaging, just like its author") and from the greatly-lauded novelist Adriana Trigiani ("This book is a manual for overcoming obstacles and living life with passion and purpose...Hoda is the working girl's Cleopatra. She rules!").               .The prose of both tomes is colorful and lively. Both Reece's and Kotb's books feature the kind of writing that, upon seeing it, immediately rivet your eyes to the page. Upon seeing any page, its wording has you absolutely hooked, positively pleased to be in the company of such charming, sprightly gals, gals who obviously love life and do not hesitate to embrace it entirely. And, again, that feeling comes no matter what page of theirs you're on (Kathie Lee in her super-bestselling compilation of essays Just When I Thought I'd Dropped My Last Egg at one point said: "I love my new co-host Hoda Kotb. She is an absolute doll and so much fun to work with." The writing style of Hoda causes you to fervently agree with KLG's every syllable).               .Both women in their tomes have greatly witty and greatly incisive things to say. In both Glass Slipper and Hoda there's sparkling humor and eye-opening observations, whether Reece in her book is discoursing on how cathartic it can be for a parent to swear ("[A] little bit of cussing does wonders. The later in the day it is, or the earlier in the morning, the more important this is for your sanity, and to help you feel less like an underpaid servant and more like the sassy teenager that is still lurking somewhere inside your bill-paying, car seat-purchasing, sleep-deprived self") or her regular almost-all-women's exercise class ("Sometimes someone comes up to me after class and wants to pay me, or otherwise do something lavish to show her gratitude. I tell her, she's already doing it, by inspiring me with her commitment...When my women show up, day in, day out, with their great attitudes and their great energy, they don't realize that that's their gift to me") or her parenting style ("[Excessively spending time with electronic pleasures] messes with your head, and I don't want it for my kids...So I say no. A lot. And tell me I don't feel like a shit mom when little Brody, who's been cooperative all day, has a meltdown in the afternoon and sobs miserably, 'I. Just. Want. My. Electronics'") or whether it's Kotb in her tome telling of her lifelong struggle to establish her own identity (I will always be asked [as this one "older black woman" did while Kotb was in a phone booth making a call during her early days as a television journalist, taking Kotb's face in both hands and looking into her eyes] 'What is you?' And while I'll proudly explain I'm Egyptian...again, the answer in my head will always be: I'm just me") or acknowledging her refreshingly non-high-minded, purely self-serving motivation for going into and staying in TV news ("Procrastinating to me is simply a way to create a time crunch...After I phone in a takeout food order, I'll stay at work as long as possible, then race home to my apartment to meet up with the delivery guy...[T]elevision news is the perfect career for me. I need to know that my work day has a start and a fight to the finish. I'm competitive, persistent, and not afraid to risk being the hero or the goat when airtime hits") or the near-overwhelming thrill she felt when the Today show's Fourth Hour hosted the always-and-forever-bootylicious Queen Bey ("When Beyonce walked into the room, [Kathie Lee and I] were blown away by her beauty and her presence. She's about 5 feet 7, but her red heels added several inches. She wore a gorgeous short dress, designed in her favorite color, red. She was a knockout. Her frame is sexy and solid and she carries herself with confidence around every curve...Her words were laced with a touch of Texas twang (Beyonce was born and raised in Houston). As her people began touching up her hair and makeup, all I could think was, There's absolutely nothing wrong with her! Bring that stuff over here!"). After reading these books, you effortlessly feel invigorated because you spent quality time with two insightful, funny, considerably observant ladies who have, to quote a line from the classic 1960s song, "looked at life from both sides now" and are bright enough and centered enough to retain the lessons such observing has taught them.             Also: Both Reece and Kotb conclude their tomes in grand style. The former closes by assuring her readers that should they choose to assume the role of "queens" of their household, "[y]ou will live interestingly ever after." And she ends her "Acknowledgements" section by lauding her hubby, the professional surfer Laird Hamilton: "I cherish the gift of knowing you, your love, and your partnership. Oh, and when our girls [their daughters] are difficult, I do blame you for those traits." The latter, for her part, ends her book with a forward that itself finishes with her naming her "special wooden box" inside of which is the "letter that lists the three most important traits in my man" and assures us readers that "there's a chance it will end up accidentally buried by books, an over-sized tote bag, a plaque, or other random crap." Kotb's own "Acknowledgements" portion winds up with a fond shout-out to her "co-author," Jane Lorenzini, "the most brilliant writer I have ever known...Your dad was right. It has been an adventure...Your name should be bigger on the [front] cover. Oh, well...next book."           During the 1980s, it was Barbra Streisand who famously crooned, concerning creativity:                                                     "The art of making art                                                     is putting it together, bit by bit,                                                      Beat by beat, part by part,                                                        Sheet by sheet, chart by chart,                                                              Track by track, bit by bit,                                                          Reel by reel, pout by pout,                                                      Stack by stack, snit by snit,                                                          Meal by meal, shout by shout,                                                              Deal by deal, spat by spat,                                                          Spiel by spiel, doubt by doubt.                                                      And that is the state of the art."           To read the books of Gabrielle Reece and Hoda Kotb is to bring about enormous gratitude that said authors--and their ghostwriters--took the time and the trouble to put them together, employing every "bit," "beat," "part," "sheet," "chart," "track," "bit," "reel," "pout," "stack," "snit," "meal," "shout," "deal," "spat," "spiel," and "doubt" so that "the state of their art" would make them such eminently satisfying reading experiences.