#river re-reads kotlc

[crymeariveronceagain]

New WIP: Return.

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." ― G.K. Chesterton

War moves on through children like water across the blade of a knife. Sophie Foster and her friends have been destroyed beyond repair. They are scattered to the winds, ground to a fine powder and breathed across the world, crying themselves to sleep at night, praying that the stars have mercy.

Enough is too much.

Every single one of them has lost too much, missed too much, forgotten too much, become too much.

If this war will ever end, it needs to end now. If they are ever to return to who they are, to who they want to be, to who they were once becoming, before time and pain stole what they were, that needs to happen now.

War carries on into silence.

War continues past the last shout of the battle.

But now is the time, and Sophie Foster will not let it.

~~~

AKA: A re-imagining of the conclusion of KOTLC, beginning after the end of Unlocked.

Tags under cut.

@you-have-been-frizzled @bring-the-storm @strawberry-muffin-crisis @stopstealingtomatoes @chaotic-bumblebee-agenda @isnt-loving-lovely @wyvrens @synonymroll648

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Ok, but look. The beautiful thing about Grady and Edaline and Sophie is that they were NOT ready to take care of her when they met her. They really weren't.

But.

They took care of her anyway. They grew to love her fairly quickly.

They tried to get their lives on track FOR her. She was the spark that made them start moving.

And Alden didn't do that. What he did was pretty screwed up. Elves have such fragile minds, he didn't know what he was doing, or worse he did know the danger of hurting that he was presenting, and he did it anyway.

Alden couldn't have known for certain that was what would happen. In fact, there's almost the idea that he wanted them to buckle. To quit Sophie.

And they almost did.

They knew when too much was too much and pulled back, because Sophie deserved a loving family. Sure, it hurt like hell. But they really truly wanted what was best for her. And if the best was not with them, they were willing to get her the best, anyways.

And yet.

Even though they stick with Sophie. They put in actual, difficult, work to get their lives back on track. They see someone to take care of and they remember that they were made to love, not just each other, but the world around them.

It's a very Where'd You Go, Bernadette kind of reaction.

Grady and Edaline are and always will be parents. They are and always will be caretakers.

And sometimes all it takes is a push to start the rock rolling down the hill.

And Grady and Edaline remembered. They're supposed to love.

Sophie was their chance to love the world again. And through putting their own needs on back burner, and making the world better for their new daughter, something inside them clicked back to what it was supposed to be.

Edaline and Grady, from the first through third books, do SO MUCH work on themselves you'd think they went to therapy. They take time, and effort, and they really. Really. Really do their absolute best to become what Sophie needs. They become family for her.

Not because they have to.

Because they want to.

Potentially unpopular opinion? I love Grady and Edaline, and their relationship with Sophie, but it was kind of fucked how Alden looked at his two friends struggling badly with their mental health and went "You know what would help? A child." That was too much responsibility to put on Sophie and ended up hurting her as well as Grady and Edaline. Children should not be responsible for their parents' mental health and Alden should not have put Sophie, Grady, and Edaline in that situation. Grady and Edaline were also really not in a mental place where they could raise a child, and no one had any regard for how that might be a bad place for said child to live.

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What’s your favorite keeper book and what’s your least favorite part about said book?

Favorite book is Neverseen, it's hands-down a masterpiece of children's literature, and it sets up the plot so well. My least favorite part of that book is.... *squints* I think the part where Keefe refuses to interact with anyone for a while and to struggle on his own. Like I get why he did it, but I'm screeching at him to stop and just go with the people who love him and want good things for him. Idk he means a lot to me and I want beautiful wonderful good things for him. After the struggles, that is.

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River's English Major Summer TBR list(to encourage you to read new things):

because holy heck, i'm done with school already??? Anyways these are in no particular order tbh.

Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy. I've started it before but lost track halfway through. I've got my own copy now so it should be easier.

Persuasion, by Jane Austen. I'm already halfway through this, and ANNE MY BELOVED---

The Only Problem, by Muriel Spark. I ordered it while i was at college and never got around to it, and I LOVE the satire of this woman.

Wise Blood, by Flannery O'Connor. You all know how much I adore her. I haven't read this novel yet!!! I'm so excited!!!

Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley. I've never actually read it. I only sort of know how it goes, so this should be really good. I love gothic literature.

Cursed, by Marissa Meyer. I got it for Christmas and still have not read it. Curses on a reading-intense degree.

Providence Blue, by David Pinault. I also got this for Christmas, and have been looking forward to it.

Plague Journal, by Michael O'Brien. Dystopia or something. It should be really good.

The rest of Paradise Lost by John Milton. I'm not one for poetry, so this might be a last ditch effort when I'm at the end of my rope. I studied the parts about Satan and his fall, but I don't really know what happens in the rest of the book, so I'm very curious.

And last, but not least, Before Austen Comes Aesop: The Children's Great Books and How to Experience Them, by Cheri Blomquist. Another Christmas Present that may not be something most people would enjoy, but I think I really will enjoy it. I'm a nerdy nerdy Lit major at heart, and like. These kind of commentaries are really enjoyable to me.

Anyways, I hope you all have fun watching me get repeatedly broken apart by various classics and newer novels, as I tend to walk a strange line between fangirling and critical analysis, I suppose as any good literature lover does. I know last summer I started re-reading the KOTLC Series, and I'm not going to lie when I say I honestly think I'm tired of Shannon Messenger's style for now. I read a ton of her work last summer, and now I kind of want to go everywhere with my reading. I hope y'all don't mind that I'm gonna randomly post quotes from all over the place. :P

Then again, you're still here. Perhaps this is the kind of thing you've signed up for.

Happy Summer to every College kid who's almost free, and everyone else who still thinks it's only spring!!!!

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Everyone's always like "Keefe can't take a hint! Why is he still pining?" And "he should have moved on in flashback" and "why was he so broken hearted and weird about it?!"

Everyone forgot that Sophie's been hugging and hand holding and cheek kissing Keefe this whole time.

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"But We're Cognates"

Okay. I know.

I know. This line is so overused. So watered down. It's what anyone quotes when they want to mention that Fitz is possessive, or rude, or is kinda toxic for Sophie.

Well, the thing is. I say variants of this line in my head all the time. Sure, it's not "but we're cognates."

Instead, it's "but you were my friend first" or "but I want to spend time with just you" or "but I LIKE YOU MORE THAN THEY DO!"

And that's not healthy on my part, I'll readily admit it.

But I know where it comes from. After all, it's a life of building blocks that got me here.

If you have one friend. Maybe two. And that's all you have, you do not want to share. You do not want them to get attached to others. You do not want them to drift away from you, because, inside, you're terrified of losing them.

Because that one friend, right there, they're all you've got. They're everything. You can't lose them. How are you going to function without them?

Fitz's "but we're cognates" line isn't about him trying to control Sophie, or trying to isolate her intentionally, or him trying to be rude or annoying or make Keefe jealous.

All it is is a kid who has one friend left desperately trying to keep that friend, for as long as he can.

Fitz has one friend, when he starts saying this line.

And that friend is Sophie.

He's afraid that if he doesn't hold on tight, doesn't try to insert himself into her life, he'll lose the only friend he's definitely still got.

And just.

Ow.

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Keefe leaned her head against her shoulder and Sophie counted his breaths, considering what a strange thing grief turned out to be. Grady and Edaline closed themselves off. Fitz pushed everyone away. She couldn't figure out how Keefe was handling it all yet. But she was glad he wanted her to stay.

---Neverseen, by Shannon Messenger. Page 167.

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i have canonical proof that fintan is a string bean.

behold:

Fintan was thinner than she'd expected. Almost fragile-looking, with sky blue eyes and slender features.

--Exile, pages 218-19

This is the first time in the series we actually meet Fintan.

And what does Sophie notice first?

How much of a freaking stick Fintan is.

There is no way this man has ass.

To say that he does is clearly Neverseen propaganda.

"sure he tried to murder or enslave the entire gnommish species but consider: he's sexy"

but is he sexy

he has a flat ass, remember

He does NOT. He has a delightful, bountiful ass.

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i still can't get over how everyone literally threw Sophie into the world with no introduction like "she's gonna be okay, right? like should we tell her how everything works?"

"no, it's pretty self-explanatory, she'll be fine."

*sophie blows up something in the distance*

"totally gonna be absolutely fine"

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SHANNON MESSENGER SAT DOWN AND WROTE THIS LINE. SHE LOOKED AT IT AND WENT "YEAH PUT THAT IN THERE". THIS CAME STRAIGHT FROM HER MOUTH.

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im writing fanfic for Flashback Era Sophie and this is how it's going

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River's Thoughts after reading Flashback Again

oh my stars i don't think i can mentally recover from this book

Sophie doesn't understand that if she's in love with Fitz she can't be in love with Keefe and like on one hand i get it and also SOPHIE FOR THE LOVE OF THOR!

"We must not let anger make us overlook potential" is a sucky way to judge a judicial system. the function of judiciary systems is justice. Bish, where that justice for Alvar? Like, I don't want him dead, and I don't think that the way he was treated in this novel was okay, but also. Like, if you're gonna put him on trial, can we like, maybe pretend to be just? Idc that he's not the same person if this is justice let it be justice.

Luzia Vacker is so sus. Like, she just radiates untrustworthy. The entire book. There's never been a more obvious liar.

Alden's definitely a crappy parent. There's a lot of undertone in everything said about him, and as he fades into the background, it's almost like his kids mention things like "my dad would kill me if i did such and such a thing" more often. Idk. I just find it odd.

Exilium and the human world made Sophie a natural killer.

This book is everywhere what the hell is happening

Look, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Sophie does not want to be more than friends with Fitz. She literally refuses, constantly, to tell him that she likes him, because she's doesn't want their friendship to change. She likes being friends with him. Literally. The idea of a relationship is so dangerous, so scary to her, it's just straight up not comfortable. And I don't want that for her. I don't want her to have to feel like a relationship is difficult or something she wants to hide. I want her to be happy with who she winds up with. She's not gonna be happy with Fitz. At least, not happy enough to shout it from the rooftops and kiss him in front of everyone.

Ah! Sleep paralysis! Y'know! For kids!

Oh, no, that's just Sophie's echoes. I'm sorry. I forgot that this is fantasy, and fantasy doesn't let kids suffer from sleep paralysis. Hah.

Sophie and Fitz would be a better team if they agreed that friendship was where it's at. Not gonna lie.

Fitz with chronic heart issues. That's it, that's the thought. Idk guys i like the angst this could inspire.

Ah! Panic attacks! Y'know! For kids!

Literally, the only thing keeping Fitz's anger in check this entire book is the fact that if he gets angry he physically suffers and i just think it's kind of sad that this is where he is.

Okay but Alvar being Neverseen shifts the focus away from Alden. Anything weird relating to Everglen or the Vackers can always be traced back to Alvar, and Alden never gets put in the spotlight. That's all I'm saying.

Fitz. Has no friends. What happened. How come Sophie has like 10 friends, and Fitz has. One. And it's his girlfriend. How come we aren't talking about Fitz's protective and obsessive nature literally coming from how few friends he has and how alone in the world this kid really is at the end of the day. He's alienated himself from his family, he has one friend, and he's just. I don't know where I'm going with this. He's too relateable, that's all.

Silveny is offically less annoying than Ro!!!! Yay Silveny!!! Kudos to you!!!

Keefe is literally feeling awful constantly and he's desperately acting like he thinks he's the best it hurts me, guys. This is a coping mechanism. I do this.

Keefe Sencen also actually gives off intense Tony Stark character vibes in this novel. I don't know what's up with that. It's not good, though. I will say that.

Fitz made it extremely obvious about his family's stance on match status.

Keefe flinches whenever a telepath reaches for his head. I'm worried about my baby.

Sophie Foster loves Keefe Sencen so damn much. I can't handle it.

all these pages about the Vacker Legacy and I'm still thinking the Legacy is the entirety of the Neverseen and the eventual downfall of the council idk guys.

How did Gisela know that Alden was sending his kids to the forbidden cities. How did Gisela know that Alden was doing illegal things to find the moonlark. How. How did she know. I think I'm going to scream.

If Alden isn't Neverseen it's practically an affront to writing tbh.

Mr. Forkle habitually violates Sophie's privacy and no one talks about it and Sophie's used to it at this point, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it.

The idea that the Neverseen's costumes are so complex baffles me. They just need a guster. One swift blast of air and bam. Every neverseen member's identity is known. Because. You could just. Blow the hoods off.

For a secret terrorist organization, the Black Swan is really incompetent. Like wtf.

Sophie being the only person Fitz trusts is not healthy. This is not a healthy relationship. You need to trust more than one person. You can't live like that. Fitz. Fitz.

Marella gets so offended that people don't talk to her but also she starts no conversations and never lets anyone visit so like. I feel like part of this is on her.

Sophie is building an immunity to a sedative. That sedative she's taking is meant to knock her out. There shouldn't be any sort of override that her body can reach. Why has it stopped working so effectively?!

Fitz can be really cruel. Fitz is really cruel. For very little reason, a lot of the time. This is a hurt kid. Why is no one like, checking on his mental state. This kid is going to fall apart. This kid is breaking to pieces. Someone needs to grab him and hold him together. Otherwise there won't be any Fitz left.

Tarina is a better bodyguard than Sandor and should have been Sophie's bodyguard from the beginning send tweet

Sophie knows how to regulate her body temperature really well, and has a special sense for manipulating heat. That's interesting. Especially considering how hard Forkle had to work to keep her from manifesting as a pyro.

Sympathizing with Fintan hours lets gooooo poor insane pyrokinetic i love him and he wants me dead

Fitz was. Way too chill. With committing murder. And everyone else. Was too chill. With the nearly murdering his brother thing. Like, he's a traumatized child, I get that. But also. Can we, like, i don't know. Get him psychiatric help?

Tam Song my beloved.

Tam Song without a G is just Tam Son and that's what he is to me. He is my son. I love him.

There's way too many jumped through hoops that are skipped over from Tam joining the Neverseen to protect his sister and then Sophie trying to register from the match. Just like there's too many missing pieces between when Alvar goes evil again and when Tam joins the Neverseen. This is kind of sloppy.

Also.

SOPHIE. YOU HAVE BIGGER CONCERNS. LEAVE THE MATCH THING. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE STARS.

Ah, no, she didn't.

Breeding sapient species! Y'know! For kids!

Thank God Sophie Foster is unmatchable I think i'd lose my mind if she wasn't.

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trolls are so frigging weird

that makes no sense, shannon. HOW ON EARTH DO THEY AGE IN REVERSE??!?!

WHAT ARE THEY??!?! JELLYFISH OR SOMETHING?!?!?

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Look, idc what you think, but no one in the Lost Cities is handling Keefe Sencen well. No one is doing anything about him. Know why? Lord Cassius literally doesn't care who's around while he insults and belittles. He doesn't care who knows he gets angry. Lady Gisela doesn't care who knows that she manipulates and hurts her son. And do you know what's changed, for Keefe Sencen? Do you know who's offered him a place to stay? A way out of the pit he's constantly falling into? No one. Absolutely no one. I don't fault his friends for this. I don't care that Sophie doesn't know what to do. I care about Mr. Forkle doing nothing. I care about Grady doing nothing. I care about the message this is teaching kids.

Know what the message is, with Keefe Sencen?

Everyone like him shouldn't bother to seek adult help. Because they can't do anything either.

Keefe Sencen is driving home the point that if you are like him. If you live like he does, you're stuck.

You're not stuck. Keefe's not stuck.

But the longer I watch people refuse to help Keefe get out of his bad home situation, who tell him to try and make it better, who tell him "I'm glad your father's bullying me than you" but make him feel indebted instead of set free, the longer I watch Alden use the ache for love inside of Keefe to manipulate and control instead of taking actual steps to help him, the longer I sit there in stunned silence, realizing how every single adult in Keefe's life knows, knows, knows about his parents, the more I want to scream and tell Keefe to leave myself.

This all just makes me so sickeningly mad.

Because everyone knows that when Keefe goes home it's not okay.

And not a single adult has tried to actually fix it.

They've just sent him back to it, over and over and over again.

No wonder this kid's so screwed up.

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Thoughts on Nightfall after reading it again

Back on my bs.

Okay literally I read this book in 3 sittings, over 200 pages in each sitting. It's insanely fast paced, and well written. Once you start reading, it becomes really. Really. Really hard to set the book down.

Cognates! Are so emotionally unhealthy! It's horrifying! How is this something we're okay with! Especially for children! Quinlin kept an OPINION, not a secret, an OPINION from Alden, and they wrecked their cognate thing! This is not healthy! Anyone who thinks this is healthy! Get the Therapy you so desperately need! This is not good! Even married couples do not share every single thing with each other! Boundaries are necessary to being a functioning person in society!

Personally, I think Livvy and Quinlin could work it out.

Dang the Lost Cities' prejudice against humans really rubbed off on Sophie quickly. I don't blame her, but also. Yikes. That cannot be good for her.

Sophie's family is getting tortured and the Black Swan is like "we're doing all we can!!!" Despite how they do next to nothing and the kids(age 14-15) have to deal with it all.

Edaline calling Sophie perfect as a baby is going to be written on my heart as one of the most beautiful exchanges in this book. I'll post the quote later. It makes me want to break down in tears. Because stars above. Sophie deserves to be called a perfect baby by her mom.

Tam and Keefe are literally best friends and just too stubborn to stop taking cracks at each other. They started beat friendship and now they can't get off the ride. They're friends.

Keefe Sencen is WAY. TOO USED. TO BLOOD. He's just out there stabbing himself and getting hurt and being like eh blood. I feel like he's very not okay, or has seen so much blood that his own doesn't faze him anymore.

Forkle is the President Coin to Fintan's President Snow. No, I will not elaborate.

Dex and Biana are best friends. Don't ask how it just happened. It's good for both of them, I think.

Sophie. Does not want her and Fitz's relationship to change. It's so obvious. It hurts me. She does not want to tell him she likes him. She does not want to date him. She wants their relationship to stay the way it is. For as long as she can, she desperately wants to keep what sbe has with Fitz. And she is perfectly happy that he doesn't know she likes him. She wants for it to stay the way it is. And even when Fitz gives her every opportunity to change it. She actively avoids it. No thoughts. Just and observation.

Poor Marella.

Wraith's backstory would "Sidetrack everyone". Huh. I bet it would.

Linh loves Wylie's music. And I love Linh. So there we go. That's the whole point.

I forgot so much of what actually happened in canon lmao. I'm so sorry all my fics are so factually inaccurate in the little ways.

KEEFE IS SO STUPID I'D DIE AND KILL FOR HIM.

Keefe not registering for the match is peak Keefe and also heck yeah remove yourself from the Eugenics society dearest boy! Kick their butts! Metaphorically!

Sophie's so in love with Keefe it actually deeply pains me to watch her not notice it. Like uh. Honey. You love him. You love him you love him you love him you love him. Sophie, you love Keefe.

Keefe is so in love with Sophie. He's literally out there almost dying for her. Actively putting himself in harms way so that no one can hurt her. I just. Ow.

He's also so smart and so stupid all at once. Idiot. But a smart idiot.

I forgot how annoying Ro is in canon. Literally every moment after she's been introduced I've literally just wanted her to shut up. I love the Ro I've created in my head, but this Ro in canon makes me want to hit her in the face.

FITZ BAKES IMMA CRY GN GUYS

Marella really got targeted for her talent. It's kinda gross to see Sandor demanding that Marella not use a single spark without a go ahead even though he's never said anything like that to Linh, or even Sophie.

The Vacker Legacy. What is the Vacker Legacy. It can't be Alvar. It can't be. So what is it. Who is it.

Sophie does not get a break. She does not get a week to rest. Absolutely no breaks for the kid. This is the book where she starts getting exhausted. This is the book where it starts exhausting the reader, too. Because scenes stop getting time to breathe. Life only speeds up. Sophie does not get a single moment to rest. And neither does the reader.

Ah. A panic attack. Sophie has a full blown panic attack. Great. Love that.

This book is screwed up. This story is screwed up. Everything about this is screwed up.

Tam and Biana interact like a married couple. They have each other's backs and occasionally make comments that imply that they're fond of each other. I love that for them.

Ah. Sophie straight up disassociates for like 2 weeks. And then nothing changes. No one tries to fix it except her frienda who are, y'know, children. This is totally fine. Not at all a horrible sign of the state of the Lost Cities and adult elves as a whole. No. Definitely not.

IM GETTING WHIPLASH FROM HOW QUICKLY FORKLE GOES FROM TREATING SOPHIE LIKE A PERSON TO TREATING HSR LIKE A TOOL AND BACK AGAIN. NO WONDER SOPHIE'S SCREWED UP. I WOULD BE, TOO.

*various gagging noises*

Vespera. Ew. She sucks.

Gisela. Ew. She sucks.

Everything is awful, actually.

Sophie Foster having to say goodbye to her human parents for good hurts me.

I just.... This book was a fast paced mess. I feel like nothing and everything happened, and I wish it didn't. I'm so tired, and I know Sophie is too.

We're so tired. And yet we keep reading. Because we've grown attached. And we've got to fix the hole that this series has hollowed in our chests.